#working backwards from absence to presence??? who knows | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

libidomechanica · 11 months ago

Text

Boots

A sonnet sequence

And not unespied, for I shall be: time’s tyranniseth thee? That ship, that she all dabbled with little known, both white neck was rosed with which would ever since that which her to one deep chamber of depart the whole creature to reveal her pretty looke euer say, and sew for peace, or in her selfe doe make: tell her worship and admit to know the heauenly spheare of Cupid humbly at your far gone hips, whose palm? And yet methinks I do vow and where by wonderment: yet in my though againe enured, of such a pleasing smart, and my fraile mind is filled with wine my grief pre-scorches me.

Spending stream. Brain treason doubtfully. One night that with rigorous wrong, to raise the world’s coarse mankind refuse. In our own, deny not heare, when I was none, not understood. Descending, struck by light ease me in me thy meed, and mischievously slow, and plundered first, and a weary dayes doo weaue, accoumpt of life in it; and there needed a music-master. Her minde remember that put on more spacious confederates war, with then the heart doth fly. I gave you as good! In perfect love it, that want or food or evil luck, of plastic circumstance, my lord, nobility of love!

III

Remember that wax and watched her to be mine, farewell, false Art what your breast; she bowed, shepherds feed they were suddenly ashamed. In us, and full o’ care? Give up love, the sill and promise to open today when the other, me, thou art! Ran up to him. Thou needs the mirror and seal it on my girls flit, that is not heard; at length of coiled rope which al powers, keepes her fill? Ne one little day, and I be cast an amorous heart. Still anxious hands and steel, that I wanted a piece of many a dropping teare, my souerayne beauty cleare my loves, and prayed so hard, have it with sterne coste?

Simple, as simple truth to poverty? Glad occasion fits, I must, I can no way repay; the heavenly face. So let vs, which ran the playne will, they are change theirs—God bless the narrow sea which missing? She flung it from him derive, and pardon crave that is in thy station. The old lion, glaring with diuers colord flowre, in chase, cries to catch her words, per day. Apt emblem of a virtuous souls confine? Both find each other’s part, kiss the Past promotion ought rather woman-kind was the level stand, did see if we can hold; witness Can win; I rather hand called “work,” must smart.

At the tide ebbs in sunshine, and thriftye stockes, great cruelly, twoo golden heart be his guard; thou came the end of his own, to be the grave,? Of my poor heare, ne any means, to live and hills of sure and darts Despair alone could not to tell us women were, at least some one bright, and drew the policemen who kicked men a scourge should be the little Cupid lay, for to lead frailest the world at his workmanship should be, like th’ other fayre, that I can it not see the should our progress falter then cause embrace. Him caught surpassing the offender gave, and truth, eternall bliss the leave of nature and chariot, many a one. Old bridges breake, and knows her presence of my prison for a man and all the power to take way longer for object, as the Lip of Beauty of the absence, ’cause it doth more in their journey to thee, that wish forbear, that which han be dead brown?

And we will bear, thither hear my mother, and the digits, and there dwelt like Hindoos, for fools that want the beast that I wanted that sits on her I say: is this? Length considering it backwards, true, begin that, if she graunteth light I not glance and mak’st all hell where you again but it is, this and N2 that … felt like well belong to redeeming skin. The glory in the Pacific seas in which dyd himself up on one knee,—the child. No villain need be! St. So, still to start, I fynd their anthemes sweet prayse to accept, amongst them best may craftily enfold, so dying liue, and of my poor soul upon thy auspicious and undefiled; her winter’s wood, the last I guess, the desperate rage, who thought, where no people of your wild Princess—why not make the milder plane, imagined more cruell fayre election, and her all, and mountainside to new-found methods and from the Gate!

VII

Her nighting was, knowing, that all things pass like season fit to decke their character with you anywhere I don’t yet knowing worlds pride disdeigne some prize might our boasted stores defy: such noble hands clasped for excess of wit, that in the narre, from God more spotlesse words are siluer sheene, but sovereign monarch’s vices must be hers, both my hart with awfull many thou would trace thy flight: and every side. When she heard of her behind the bench more is plainly showed the key to you it was right this verse, that with a golden snare: which she alone among the Earth with scorn, good sureties will I pray.

VIII

Oh Dearest, canst not to free him, there we see; and while I suffer this return’d by the bared scalpe, an Eagle sored hye, that with her last embrace me, correcting her bolder winges displaced? Midas, the fly did mock. Ask me no more her, but he soone, and mine own fyre, rather make, that many times do I my judgment of the apple reddening into white. Knew no more. Doe I now my selue shall all beasts with a smile betwixt. For pleasure never say suppose he should men see two perfect too: perfect Beauty seen, he left off the more sweet Saynt some succour both together possible.

For fun watched we! My wombe thou would trace thy birth, and love. Such as our atoms were, even such a royal and omnipotent, didst the sound of racoon tongue’s a feckless main. Whilst some of melling. Last Love, the baiting- place, an’ merit, an’ tease my trouble wi’ thee, deare delightful to suit, whose toppe the played the handmayd of euery one, that is most odorous smell, but his brayne, so now astonisht hart. Whom Ida hyll dyd beare, and he though paleness be the Spyder and cleft the handmayd of the hungry eyes, her altars did close by her words and hands to bring, of a deare and chastity.

Such self-pleasing is altogether insult but are gone. Yet—I lie here for to theyr abode. Together tongue, for now your Highness did not with it, confounds them close: the fly. A moment shrapnel scythed your several things, impossibility. Of loues best recall? As soon applied, wouldst fain arrest: machinery just required. Let me be you not receive! Late dismay, they cannot lyfe sustayne, and, catching hold of God who give thee naked to attendance, the tender hesitation—if he tooke him bond that would have not to me, darling sing. The rack and more, it did through the show.

Come, Sleepe, the fireworks grow boring at set off to see theyr weedes bene nigher heuen, and in groups they lay embrace my steps. We do know you had a system I shuffle amongst his learne not allow shall know, than thy lieutenancie to that loues might, the truth whom, SPIRIT fair, thy shadow, and prest the world vnworthy triumph where, and people feel my flames to grawnt me rest, ye mote inuent som heuenly spheare so since your pen. Some civic manhood firm against thine own fyre, breaking of your visnomy, cleare, the more her. He loved her paine: for that makes me myself and Him above the bane of married.

XII

She spoken the love the high and loue inspire with loue may well they ca’ me tyta or daddie. Or durst frame, is one, its operation still to starbursts sixteen arms electric meter I will beguyld. Out of my prisoners release, th’ indifferent once, fire and wrinkles. In autumn, dropping teare, not fight, each other, Lady,—Florian,—ask for hire of the mob of women foolish work out that is true, making touch, risking to be. Let thy loving fairly gained the Wine, and she, without all Eternity of blood of his long languor wept: her hear my sin is always fleeing, and be my love, you leave the hill I saw flower-fence facing, waiting, clean any more. They gaze on it as they are covered into thee a sweet peace for on earth as rare as tis thee, of all my best to further seemed to the floure of my dear, so make you love. Or like to death—most liuely blis.

XIII

Fit for tempest of praise rehearse in no ignoble vigour did her horns the desperate notes, peel your self. Vulgar miracles heav’n had not you praise add something flame! Falls to shrewd turned; the very nape of darkned mind will to behold a forest side of everything to the pulse that same look to discover thighs, breasts, the sun, follows bare of Spring, haue euer since your light: whose lyfe thoughts and some were vanished out on a midnight attend lyke a young girl has laid down with a golden years betrayed too many times of passion fixed and fears; men reckoning time, lose the cruel mocks, and play the cries.

XIV

Presence of hell, vpon the exhausted like. Those to beare: so wert thou be affrayd of euery planets did close their quiuer by his fond game, then al those engins can the closet of death and bemoan ye; for, like child on one knee: the spheare of this fool lord, dare I bid her verse could you help me at that in the wisest of her forms of law, was last agree, are the broad main doth wilfully appeare. Whose toppe the same. So, still anxious more augmenteth, so sweet time when that skill to beholding in the germ. ’ She cruell and faith ingratitude, I knewe the corn is the best, an enviously arrayd.

But when she at will, yet as it rose, I moved and my only chance to me. She will, I do leaue follows bare of that flowed so clear watery face it feels like a hardens euermore heauenly spright. Whose course, to wakes; for Sunday next, with a comb, two faces in a man, compare with one looked rare with all world laid its hand, but as she streamed away. Of the absence your light lift vp theyr soules bene not so tickle: and in its strife, she lists, and hearkens any one my Door-way but in the boy at the dairy- maid expected, when the floor to the vigour did through the centre sit, yet, when I hope ere longer-lived, and have spent myself, so languishing in descending, struck athwart the handmayd of the best. Gently encage, that said the knight them to look into each other. Supersede loveliness. Were spirit works lest arms akimbo and land: the question, which was wont to profit!

XVI

And shall for Nothing is extinguished and died as flowers conveyed. Having fairly gained ground. Though they did pray. Nor want pretends thy life. Or durst communicate to none. It is important thing. Each other’s personal. Jean Arthur filled heauens know no dearer for the chere: they began to rid him from the heart and Caucasus; if you scorn of baser kynd, I starue my body and me. This truth is, ’ says one, he seldom three stools away and night and live? And are fallen, have in visioned dream of Sodom blue. We pass protea and caught should give thy soul a fairer mansion fixed thou payèd were.

XVII

Painted Peaches. What it both God and take thee and my lute unstrung; else it was before, a house declare. But if they would say, like seasons’ quality; nor can I tell what would. ’Er she ran, and mute, and look nor knows you by heart, his waving resplendently yet every moving under his father, I would not leisure to vew: and spitefull hylls vnto the liuing prayse, that wont on your own palace Ida stood the courts of twilight mellowing gall. So, still vouchsafe O goddesse to all posterity, shall the eyes, her forming hand gave feature floated on to turn it every woman’s force.

XVIII

All fearlesse brest, accomplicating rage inside his last required today when she saw the haggard father, brothels of the kitchen, coffee pot you calme the tress with kisses come down to Annihilation. Who thoughts with the rest more, asked all her trembling fear, a patron; over the people have spring thou art, I goe lyke one sayd Algrin he, that Dervish-dances at her vnaware.&Her perfect love continuance we live, in love that little gayned: yet many women faster than she sang. To take thee quite, the sand when through time at will both twain, and that sliding silver lightning.

XIX

Of syphilitic Black booke enroll. She goes out o’ h—ll. I wonderment: yet shoot and a thousand fine, why did not your bones, round thy cause and made of me. Shall I marry the morning sin. Secret cause by which I shall the digits, and inspire with pretious thraldom ne’er renew I shall respit to my eye, for lacke of telling carries me to promise to open to the little while and bring youth at a crush on Myrna Loy, and all on trembling heauen doth wheel not by thee. Nay, added fat pollutions of my thoughts with constraynt or dread, from those powre dicerne. No harm! And walked at home!

In leaving—the way without fewell you can. Tossing and therefore, Love, which keeps changeful chance to say, now his beauties grace forsooke, and marked it with the boat where thou know it the other head a book through branches more, asked all one, what you will not finish all that it was right: when he was, and sorrow and to the lighten all your prison for the Tongue of Eloquence. ’Er fixed in your selfe nor other gay: in him that nobody captive Servius Tullius rose, whose noble then not on him the grace In the ascent of cup and sweetly slumbring, Of evening I could not kill, give me.

XXI

Once more stedfast will the colours rife, bound dizzily,—mistake my life that often I get that three times a year to let me run, let me pronounce at once to me, what kind of child on the long-laid galleries past a hundred and sisters or daughter. Carole Lombard, Paulette Goddard, coy jean Arthur’s reign, a lusty spring will all beasts with my breast, his chief transgressions doe awake, and lief, and you but one, or widow, maid, or wife, in all you kiss you, sir, so lately claspt with her mate; and shaggy satyrs standing near, thither hear my sister-plaintiff lose the child is this? This workmanship shoulders, knees like death and loued their bodies best recall? Who kicked my bosome to lead thy mamie, shall now by my revenge be wrought, whom my spirit affords in polish’d form of kisses which has died feels like that blooms in May, when the oracle of loue; and with the Folly he sets up.

XXII

Of deep depressions spin the skull, Mr. And not, thoughts astray. For some glance and chaste she such be Rome and the best. Lyke as a huntsman after than you chaunt with hummingbirds. If this, that soonest fals when a world in mock heroics strange; that what I do to the aim! Like a sudden spark struck by lights where plain; nor, till the pitcher shape, that twinkle in the hynd: yet not see the better likes. Be countenaunce she turn’d by the earlier grooves, which to her of a garden! Till have thoughts and meant; but worthy most firmly proue. What the city-roar that is the moon in pieces with the statue warm.

XXIII

Dear heart never pry—lest we lose our Edens, eve and hauing run, then i hold hands of shadow came, Ask me no more: then—all good to live full grow a night and answered to hide; by interest and both to ease my name was for the days of Lady Blanche: Amazed am I to her minde remember& i can hear me Swear, not of sorrowes of my life, no cloud that is most of youthful fire, by force my way; my Emanation farms in Kula, drive through glitterand golden moniment: and with looks with theyr name. Sit. Blush&pale in little worth, unborrowed, where we see, the pin at the vow?

XXIV

Their will, and over there many a varying in bitter scorn fill with all things though Love’s whole designed, were the Italian boatman slept with myself, so languish till he pleasure, that this the prouder that I in heart such a please. Feel safe then—i never think us strange; that say Good-bye; and everybody that all departed joys departed joys departing is in its sky, when fox-kits come here for euermore to be a goodly banners that passionlessly pale, cold even to her selfe shall haue that I ask, that the hynd: for wisdom is in my cup, and drunk with you adjacent.

XXV

’St, my Julia, that misseth then I see the sex were please, th’ indifferent once, fire and go. In pages that we before; if so, then should after bloud, when Arthur’s court? But if she beholding on the world vnworthy things deuize, still tis not dead: o let me loues might, doe wander far astray: with shapes partake, sought me feel my fate. It once a help would choose your soft ear, will last to make a fire with snow-scent and land: the matrimonial seal, with wine, I drank him up. Their horses fit for me, nor Mars; mine be sometimes, their axes: lo the tumbling to last, to hold the future good Queen, her innocence a child yet in her words, so I hurl myself until they began to move the knight. And ran in on the very face of Heav’n, the Worse? Better luck a better is his chief transgression by nodding vaguely toward child holds deare. Through glitterand golden hayre, then all ability.

XXVI

For truth to pacify: but maids, behold; on this despairing stars, in Sleeps armory; with the narrow winter will make your redeemed by your shelf, so I probably broke through sweet love from my breast could suit? Till with teare: in the bargain with a golden brede, lay likewise you him take, I must depart, and seek for roses, and die. And youth, and loued their steps into the dumb-sister sway, you thumbed, thrust him in her rebellious praysed. Attending downe let them south, I snap the deed off, calls you a dunce, and you be, just that thy owne will these fancies greife: the old white body, life-holding in your bier?

XXVII

The grass, does to my loues best relief, has nought to see that which your favorite pop song I probably should bid thee by putting thee. His grave; here take then cause thereof remaines but I to ashes burne, yielded! Your front door. Sake even such as thy own sins fast, which my thoughts breath, O clamorings and villanize his faith, ’ quoth she, before my sorrow pine, against the crystal moon, at the victours borne: all the feet. And your praise, such art as true to the which oft I wish for wished it away: sits down but up! Her winter clothed with in-born mind! Promise to wander fades, it fades, it fa’s, and wrinkles.

XXVIII

I am happy Eternity of love. With weathers by which not my love was my devotion, pages dusty brown with salue both heads nod, which with its hopes and her own: but ne’ertheless she pined hart, and Sunne- borne damzell broke away, me to purge from the night she should light and open on the heart that glory thinke how she pays, in a playful mood, pardon get of your great shame oft maisters say bulldaggers, queers i remember that through distance was the Lion’s mane! Sweet posterity. And love, I recant, and take thyself out-going in thy swinck, that o’er mountain or of Art? And kitsch.

XXIX

Thaw this morning’s a new Pandora see. Straight thrice o’er his pardon for the played the other far doth in his spheare so since thine eye aside to Haleakala Crater. Something may be got, in mind of these; if so, by any other nightie vengeance take. To tell of a Celestial song a little white neck was rosed with the soil, and saw them really about the mair the go- cart. Out of sad Winters bowres. Name, I designs above a short-lived predecessor saw, you were they the branches of the Stars. And done your hair in deed, or word, or those that wakens men withal. ’Re alive?

XXX

Be, and keep invention shall swear! And let your brother, nor my eye, for sacred poets gave; and therefore: nor can infuse or wit, or grace; a mother’s otherwhere the better be all in the loss of high talk with most consecrate untill the cause embraced. I tell the man; you wanted was to entrap in treason of the sky, when the boys begin his timely graceth, which I doe praising a Fantom Image of that for my bodies, no tender; but die ye must part: and woe amongst thy demand performance of seven together to die soone, and you meet the vigour, on the world.

XXXI

Of absence of seven together me too long as your home, is the postman have taken off the midst, the charming now in the lightning light, who this godhead so to immortall things; alas, why, fearing of the designed, the light of ioy, the bourn of sunset, and then if he will only borne: and woe amongst them all! My heart dotes less of her beauty, and my wife, in all its too harsh kisses who mighty titles true, ’ and to this sad plighted love a little kind. Of Helicon whence all thereof each base, to live and loue inspires to strow my storme is past; there in tract of time’s wheel?

XXXII

Thou youngest Virgin Daughters I need. All naked, playing flame! Bright, thrugh stubborn pride among the mournful, sober-suited Night! When the left the bad corruption, they consume us all, unless the name o’t. Where stayed, all bowed beneath theyr sheepe the Altars hallowest help would you said, the Lustre of that we love let’s so persever, And in your bones, arms, neck, thigh and I so love is a fitting Boy, since find any rest. The grass you send, mote haue thanks; then his might empties the distance, and them deep into love my fallen: they came; the bushes rancke? Lover&for any being to end.

XXXIII

In youth, nor did mine own with knowledge absolute heaven fall, that a glad poverty were attonce so cruell one, every moving under iron wedges drive, and, with mercifull regard the feature store. And broke out onto the glimmering speech—who spoke few would be better ha’f o’t. The deed off, calls the west shoots—Add this great the daring of theyr god thought into thee? The main, that turns my foes, that will, is it that is held in readiness, all fashion to scare the old feel good then—i hold hands knot under whose sweets she forth we let you tend on heauen, but an expansive with your fame!

XXXIV

Seizes up and perfection? Come hither, and forgiving all, his heauy hart, thigh and I to nurse of this worlds riches that could be better were all forgets her fit, as passion of her gentle deare return and light her feather’d creature I adore. Come, turn back, and chast desires but this is the days of Lady Blanche at distance, this rage asswage. And wilt thou payèd were. When thee; if better to be-that you can make? Spirit of BEAUTY, that long and fame to a baser kynd, they ydly back rebounded, issuing ordures of the Bread. My dreams and lazy lingering fell, and by heart.

XXXV

Knowing thee. I should hardened felon, took a pride to learn from a selfish grave. When her word taught in Cloth of her bands can tye: but fayleth trusting watch those black-lined map of the hollow hear the plains will all thy own voice in them, and at these haples roomes to gaine, the sex were pleasure, when leaves have to change thy cruel stoures. Everything which if euer ye entrap in treasures prove the soul with labour likes. Gives grace to be; after a life, yet neuer in the grass, does to mighty poets frequent inroads there unseen Power which is mornes messenger, with words rise, a bastard signs of fair were attonce to me in pleasure the great dame of Lovers are despisd, and more to me lent. Some glory in the things that ruby which hardly scap’t with burlesque, with golden dew, twas Cupid fourty which the class, What faculties, when ye haue, accomplished and deliberate human observance.

XXXVI

Sweet is the calendar in one sheaf? Say, maidens of her proffer, and never wife was the better face, his face with her what defect white skin: with no contents me that which ye misdeeme so farre in vain he sight, He plunges at me i float or sing it? Only be the end of the question, whose lightning light, under shade: but make then cease to man. Has bene slayne, yielded them dear deliverers, and have been content, or die and admit to know that his store, to save my yet young charms, that you did not man, with her late. No silver-proud queen-priest thou a little sweet impossibility.

XXXVII

Or you said something real, a gallant too. And kitsch. And rather make, deuiz’d a Web her worships thee, of all enemies. And thus, o pious prayses yet be low and great, that Thomalin can sayne that water: then dare be lou’d by dew descends: the one whose arms championed our cause, which reason. While therefore her dress, her from being free, startled into a heaven and take the steals alone, the skill. I askéd a third times. What I probably didn’t work out that makes me poore. Line of theyr weede. And performance of almonds turn’d when I doe praising her bowre I her beautie and her face! Which whoever thinke.

XXXVIII

As sure an end to every moment cuts the deep Atlantic ocean that’s out of sighs, I like the prosperous House; a Road of Mire where plain; a bachelor he went, and see the way the chair, did thus in peace, ’ quoth she, conclude, that holds her intreat, and all, comes not empty. Yet out, alas! And clogd with another with me the southwest side; like fairy guest to skim the bowls, and green. And on things that the nearer we hold our son, because thee, when those who shall condemned be of many a less and slay me not euer; nor with your love, work, scraping from the shade, not one to loose wynd ye wauing chance haue gayned: who could value in a trice were mostly mine; for when others, if thou hentest in her memory of unkissed kisses breaks with apparel me relieve, except it’s hardly creation did defense can birth, and sings before the broad stairs and hauing run, theyr ecchoes back returne.

XXXIX

And make me a heavens reward the most of praise rehearse in no ignoble verse; but that I in hand my hands and fame to mell, or utterly defy. From those whom thou doest thine in view, so let vs, which we stay, whilst her will my arguments thy might is more to be, shall still ye go to the heuens so much by so meanest flower to kill? Can revealed for fear, his high- designing the Water of them is doubled by an earth whence shall try my gain or of cape; but she motes that to you when we ceased the virgins honour ends, and tak the truth to pacify: but speak, and former flight.

Penelope for his will’s his rage was raysed. Be cast the scaffolding; make sure that sang the Water of Fidelity; who ever read it then brake out on a map, but their mistress joined in close intent upon the dales of vnualewd price: by loue conuert. With fingers least encumbered consolation: he is wouen all the fuel perish. Quick while I conclude my payneful strain; learn, nor account to the fervour and later life and spake to a bounch of Cullambynes: which her selfe, my inward night around my couch as deep as their layes. Perforating pH this act of the child!

XLI

Which her deere, Cupid fourty which from the day becomes a gem! Than was à-la-mort, and people said what he hasty hand doth allure: so does not deny, but no dispute; I shall hear yourself, in hand, asleep, Love, the new wine’s foaming floods which elements complain, petitioned too sorely wrack. Her with his heauy hart, whom now they ne dare not wan or colours could you euer. Is not thinck th’ accomplice of your bones, your hands, lyke captiues tremble: piteous death of words and imps he sets the clock thee in the phantoms of a soul so charming now, to keep their own bones. And wilt thou leave and I will drive all human though against a wall, your love you so from far&fraught she died—but see the watery glass, and this way—or tell me with my favorite vow. Is ouer-cast, my soul its bent, i’ll force must unlearn the people were loves in every rafter will rock the painter gave guessed? Within my hands.

XLII

Knowing a better to be a Jew. You know’st not, the two, betwixt. So oft as pudding, breath-filling the narrow seas! Not from far among six boys, head under iron wedges driven, floats thought on earth? Thought they gaze on it he had author of my heart’s echoes render no song but sad disdayne to me inclin’d—again repeated, in me not euer; nor to the happy word he livery that ye may descry the most perfect too: perfect kind; but twas, alas! From a darkenesse Beauty seen, he left off their first louing youth is fed; Come hither, and tread you got home he must believe it.

XLIII

He forth out of dust was molten in her rights are skild, to decke hir selfe the approve her therefore small forts whilst I thy loue what is part of a quiet gloom the gains he can win; I rather wrest that which they lock the rest, her one fall forget and hold in spotlesse words are won. For lusty springs, since your pen. With one salue of soueraigne part; sweet thoughts with wine makes some on with another wad bear it to the growing breast, there I had rather think it would’st credit it, for none could not before your friend and wanted me in pleasance and charities, a pamphleteer on guano and on her shaped.

XLIV

Why, there was assembled soon, with store of hardest yron soft and rising quietly, disrobed they this test—thy body& said crawl never feel my flame, and vows. Not once possession, when he by chance that when the future, crowned with pretious thraldom ne’er renew’th. Are carrying havoc with inconstant eye, deuiz’d a Web her worth, then knows it not, that is not by art. Can comfortlesse, as in his hand who saith A whole night, where Cupid bathing in respect of wine; for, lost like Matisse’s Red Odalisque. Our enemies have done so, then remained: but for ever will meet and to thee, the courtly trains my younger years as nicely bred wi’ education, as ony brat o’ wedlock; she you were probably didn’t expect the happy blessings which our heauy spright. Most happy blessing all the passage ethe. The coals to blame, who scorn, and now tell me how many times each others otherness.

XLV

What should not chose but laugh at her Harmony. There had made, all were profanation farms in Kula, drive through the vapours leave me thus, that turns a churl. Whose flesh has sold, I grant you for me! Oh, I kept thy heauy grace: but I cannot hollow cheek the common men with the supply: so rich in treason why my most faire hands in ecstasy! In slaying with her fayre, misdeeme so farre, to let the Lyonesse: shames not by art. All Kent can right, the Idoll of my this the crowes! And even those fourty which they slander so! But one color. Dead I’ll be spice. We grasp at all, lasts ever, mortall hye. For more be seen by mortal go. A Robin Redbreast in a cage, puts all my woes a Tragedy. One day I sought was and imps. Art she his with a friend’s direction. On the peepers as they were suddenly you for when winds too so you do deceived husband has a crush on Myrna Loy.

XLVI

Grew in such art of eyes I the deer from slope through her lap did show why I am soft and mishap, a true retreat of fire, the mynds enur’d to hasten now apace: the left. Such death, for thy deerest relicks to feel my flames augment my foes, that Sickenesse Beauty still the waters of the devil drove us, last, neglect of that which ever seemes to strow my selfe containes: who me captiuing stalls in our stars, it is a stormes, or else both the long-laid galleries past the great stores, and down dead- heavy sank her curls, and tossing and motionless; that sithens shepheards theyr wanton maids were rude, mean as I am, yet I care for your breast, and the sword swallows down; then shall endure through tempests move; twere prayse. That may behold, she doth burne, it doth laugh at me&makes an swift dispatch in pursuit and steel, that acquiescence vain: the questioning would short her wilfully appear.

XLVII

Yet freedom’—here she feruent sees the Earth someone you love not bound to keep still to behold another land. To remember that’s gone. Where they lock that ye may, and lay in dispute thy scythed you shame shines in thralled to live in death to ease. Taunt me no more—one little horne. I wanna be your mates do too—Harry, Tommy, Wilfred, Edward, Bert—and listen’d, and great the two great is not henceforth afresh out of Ianus gate, and rulers and eyes the world hath my spirit to annoy a loyal spouses see but with weary dayes. We’ll borrowed from the streamers to deceaue: in whose least delight. I love her selfe ye most sorts of these shelves; and where thine owne decay, whenas death can see its hooves if it brings captiuity thence no more her sorowe see, and therein it finds a joy above. That which I fry, her nipples lyke Pincks but newly spred, her temple was the clay adhered to. Thou art!

XLVIII

Of all aboue, what need’st thou return again. And while I sought may craftily enfold, the seasons gone, and another wit: that horror stood, brown leaf shards gather turned toward the starres, oft stombles at a stranger with greenish marble eyelids are hush’d, and Self-esteem, like the mountain-river, why aught that will, the sun is daily helpe I crawled out of brasse. Te the steaming eyes; amazed they glared at the pearl-gray light this condition to scare the old—born cycle. And Ioy, which his harp did make the which this cross: but heaven grac’t, ah! Tell me whereto can ye lykened are the queen may take.

XLIX

On a couch with guiltlesse note apace to starbursts by their person, grace, an’ merit, an’ thy power. Of his murth’ring dart. For pain nor smart; and when I must confess my kiss out-went they would none had ever done amisse. Then all aliue most wretched we! The delicate-stepping still renewing smart, in secretly will in one short tunes? In him from death nor be afraid! Shall move the dark moor land, rapidly riding far away, and bade the way to shonne: from a selfish grave. Sweet is the days, to hold you euer. To Rome, if such art of love! She wept upon us as oftentime great father.

Poetry ends like early fruit in May, that I shall expyre, that all those who saved his filled with a becke, so tyrannic power and sweet art, despoyld of warlike mister men borrowed from her strength beguile: aswage your prison I will end where thou art! Which, having thy sins more stedfast mighties iewell, but love’s flame. Say, maiden, wilt thou of the heauen, so it performed to say that sweetness of their sad friend hath found what we are’ who mighty Pan. In earth; for her husband, you this sad non-identity, where feeble age, yet mortality, where their slender foot is on our necks, we vanquished.

Thou youngest Virgin Daughter, and I—I took his ease. But if each goodly grace: that seeldome falls bynethe. Here is not show me so cruell and vnto the clock that hinders heauen most degraded, turns a churl. Despaired,—been happy. A Robin Redbreast lie down to Annihilate the sun. Which the gods in councell did agree, as if these; if so, by any art. From places of the fire the impalpable ash or the sweet art, and woe amongst thy harlots, thou makest thus you so. When I beholding me that is Algrind often sayne. One was constant stars, in the Hands of eucalyptus fronds.

LII

And kiss and sing for their hissing tongue does it cost most important: though deface. Yon banks and right to what he had now conversation by nodding vaguely toward those airy silks to flooding strip a hundred airy does, steps with drossy slime. To save the books, you have thee and making, than wealth and love. Not know which lightes. By oft predictability procession of theyr payne: with fire, and people shun me because I am bothered oak she laid her wilfull traynes well. Stay, my cruel mocks,—shall ever loved her sad friends but don’t know which I freeze, but he that wakes us in the Rust Belt.

LIII

Him from the slow autumn pond which we look? Apples, Pomegranates of grace to make all those two have you drive I never roll out of her feather’d creature or is it her. With forever; by and by thee. For sure than when he by chance doth spred with theyr sleeping, but that I begonne, against think to seek it; the mall selling caramels and knocked at ever dwell; whate’er the stroke, he lyes in lingring payne. She has left me for the blood waltzes. Least trembling at the feast, whose skin triggers your selfe, my inwardly do prate. Now had you best, an envious nightmare, has cured its Tinsel wing.

LIV

But when ye behold that you will never villanage are the plagues, of death out of the presence of hell, vpon them mayst take all this world with the breath, when large, bright, gently encage, that it takes to reach around my aching hold our son, to nurse, that is the more tender dreamboat when I’m indoors and her winter campfires in their parks some evening dwindled heauen doth wander each side, perfect Beauty, or the Bliss that thou shall go, as harbinger of Heaven. A substance on her cruelty, or choked be God there all lay incessant battery to her loue lyke but vnto golden moniment: that hangs still doth still and far, near and fall? And carnation farms in Kula, drive through marriage. A mortal green, nor Loves commands by her, like watery glass, and He who had the shrine! Catch not love, I once vowed my head knocks against my selfe her fleshes borowd fayre, misdeeme so farre, that was and imps.

&Then if ever more augmented virgins honourable vows receiver ripped out. Twas that there we with myself corrupts the tower, one must quicken, so it seem’d to find, that is left. I must confessed the lies turning thoughts and me most ornament, itself wildly away too fast. Such be Rome and weep, and drunk with twincle of her loue shall ever be beloved grows to Honour in your own door, in your immortal and omnipotent, didst tel, in whose soul is sense—thy adverse particle and me. And through hidden perils round, since life will only be the ghost to retrace my bane.

LVI

Of evenings harder hast thou be what I would be better than Pittsburgh. It sound and Inarculum here be For Juliana comes, and sable hours and girls gave gigantic proportioned too for hire of their marble, I needed a music-master. Seek with me; know that neuer beene, shall hurt to be, to left a boy—one wing has been by need to find and bind a heart doth removed from thee. Think I may have loved—the rain, me of the life will bear, the bottomless cup. Thing so diuinely wrought that through your children being old. Of life with the wind through alter’d new; thy looks within his death and slowly twine, all fashions, and she’d said, Could be. Lasts ever, for this, since they doo shine again the silence like a deceive to ease. So closed and gay, of all my sweetest singing and beauty. In hope where may like a deceived husband, you the Victor of youth in his harp did make me a charm!

LVII

He said, oh Shah, he said, as earnest and by the dead of any other will fly and there may liue for euer, thought can spel, will in one she-bird of her sweet time with a smile betwixt the time wil not better mother give, chance hath dimd her too portly pride: then if he will open its wings and so the fingers. Quick-changing, slow-nodding vaguely toward those white bitch never fear. The salt Medway, that when thou speak, and fold me with bulrush and faine my mournful surges and state, and both twain, and if thou return’d to Memory, and all this life, thoughts of sure and down rain, me of their first was the day!

LVIII

The flowers and the Past gone, seize to-day! That thou be what we have built with her light hangs o’er the way, at court shall haue that with the well that sitting so; I must be attention he had to mumble o’er his passions fit. Ye cruell handle you all their slave it not my tongue translates the further entertaine: and yse which light in sense, with sencelesse layd, her neck lyke to the cruell pryde, and by her work boots. Well, now so gay beseene, yet find I nought affrayed, to clime this shall vnto me gaue by kind, then he saw me stung as thick upon the bonds of Fate—take and Kafka while in my corset-lacing.

LIX

Revolts, republics, revolution I require, burning mylde he hath bene long ypent. Deeper too constant stars, in their sabbaths here, that thou return against myself, Oh were neither have fallen stones and free there may learne; thinke upon the vapours leave me thus? And silent, save when He, the finest gold on ground; from joy to joy to joy, from her, thinking of your mind is pure immortal green, above their late footing of Faith Sulayman and Balkís; the bud of ioy or please all beasts but these sad place, that all that though then I see no sins of the tree—where last arctic blast has slain.

And limb to limb spoiling the heauenly matter. The telephone for this thy charm might beams doth wheel not by inherit thy mither’s lips and a kirtle embroidered all with a faithfull page, as they seem like their own image of sterilized child is the Eglantine: but shepherds feed therefore then the self its multiple designs above the king, as in any line the second life outwent. The wife: the poor can’t compete. That you ill, that fed or arm that didst with sticks and cold witch! Of love has bene stayed, and I so love is a fitting in treasures may thy mothers ayde: for I must smart.

LXI

Behold thy sisterhoods may scarse be told? Do as you lingering fingers touch my skin& hold my libertie? To vtter for my bodies lose all their nipples as uninvolved; but when he first defynd: the morne, base thing. Burning into her prayses ouer all. I reuerence made, and the crone was the better is, this act of that pride bow to a base degeneration that drips from me, stood with all the most ardent articular song we might: and that sad hue, while it mocks, and all, comes not then to torture me alone. Must thinke to see him pained. That will shine againe eternall peace the planet clearer.

LXII

Madam is grave never pry—lest we love the grass, does to my father sinks with coarse mankind, and yet am forced to put up a blind of child on the good and hold up little sweet infusion, and she what they explode into thy selfe soone contemplation of all their journey well; and learne to my selfe the absence, ’cause it doth my life fleets, all fashions, slow motionless; that we wanted me in distress Bride that often spoken and then should have seemes from thee, that wakens men withal. The time with princes pere: not want to see, sweet musick, which she turnes hir selfe and learned well. The course anew: with their souls to go, whilst other doth more in your self. And your eye’s tail up as I shook the others made another night i’ th’ temple full of the rest me, I wish that swum in the path. Whiles diuine in view, so let vs, which her whose lofty counted chaste and wriggled further.

LXIII

The guests, while I suffer wreck both of her faire guise, the next, because of melting please, I care for euer tastes shall see the hart, and be my loue, made to bow, how the heat of fire above us in the blesse and me. With the plagues, of deare delights the page wondering fell, and all thy destined not fearelesse still yearns for rest; would you heard that same beasts but half; trust what, that able to thee, whilst other far astray: with windowes ope, then Christall: for now your coffee in the soul its best, and true, making hand gave feature heavenly fair, and tell of a Celestial Love; zuhrah, he said, and shone through alter’d new; thy looks are five minutes tell, and, as the dissolution, modestly shining. This night: the dairy now with her victors sight, clos’d with louely, as becomes a sudden dumps and drown his heauy sledge he can look another slew him for its grace? Penelope for heroes, kings.

LXIV

He saw the better likes. Not the faults in the roofs of the wind, deepening their wives. With vertue weak. Unless thou art! White pedigree, my lord, ’tis the leave each of which oft doth inure, and gained, I will in one content, I love her thrive and meeknesse mought so hard to God’s throne of their golden bee. In the roofs like an odor because I love her, because I am near slain, kill me with chaunge of weathers for to subdue. I stood as tall and then once more I’ll have taken up a life, yet thoughts to die so I may do, perhaps from cruelty compelled, on her trembling maintayned. Decks of thy grave.

LXV

She turned; the very face in the dust beneath her. Light lay the anchor dropped an awkward very the gentle favor, he hath bene long for Aglaia. Did not yours, or speaking his father sinks with me ye women who worshipt be, which gaze too bold, her mind is much of them grows heavier, hardier, heavenward. But when in mid-air the grave should hardened felon, took a pride cannot express his outward part, kiss me, be kind: false love I’ve lost the frailest for you, only formes ought woman was that I should be better face: the waiting in the Hands of Fate—take and with oxygen.

LXVI

My mind doth argue you the cloth, I blow the Tyrannesse doth fleshly follyes vndefyled, and are grateful every word doth seeme too sorely wrack. Grows to Honour in mine eyes, steps with me through another gay: in him that nothing to win. When first nights maimed, I trust any of my Sick Soul! Now I have strown it, and sorrowing from me, when the chace for that bondage earst dyd fly. Dull sublunary lover’s eyes and where my extended dart. Old witch! In autumn pond which ever seemed by your glorious prayses ouer all. Quick-changing in her breast that maketh euery daungers least dismay.

LXVII

Over them. To such immod’rate growth to that hath love, something me a foot and a weary toyle, sits downe in the too resplendently yet every day with the plague the pineal gland, I loue among? I feel good feels like to death, whose noble then to me, say one soft bands can tye: but sudden, that neuer starves amidst thou so right: when full before her down: holy and view my love’s fire that runneth often go there many a listen to meet. Let’s contentment can that selfe ye dayly such doe set but little fairy queen, commands by her worthy things,&sdeigneth to deuouring prey.

LXVIII

Yet as it was better to be a Jew. Say nay, for she to her eye, that you was a man! Thing like aught that’s our darling to her forhead yuory weene; if siluer dish did ly, thing which han be dead or sleeping, but the sky, which the limb, low above the fingers the crowd, the grass, and rymes, seeke each rebuff that though the mind? Let her abstaine from Paradise, in spread, those of husband has a heart—just ere she feruent sees the town. On this one is singled to join the grace not due to the Diamond: for the lodestar of my weak eies admyre: deuoure the same way, and she what in comeliness.

LXIX

Sets downe let flye: shee weend the lodging in their character with myriads more, asked all with a great bronze valves, and hauing not complain, petitioned too sorely wrack. Launched euery where were vanished and rare perfect too: perfectly could a man should strive, and Self-esteem, like a new-fallen life, thou do so. To uses of your garden! Of life, at that the victours borne, the spotted egg release. Coming at his braunches rough sweet illusion tries, that left hys flockes to touch, risking invitation—if he tooke his compassions chairman, abler none; fair-lined slippers for to the dust lies deepe, they never lost, there be and feeds at pleasure find; but fire, and her own bones. Resemble through your fortune led him, by a flame which Life best guards my loue, dear love, nor Mars; mine be some troubled his gold, and immortal eyes; in earth haue found; I took the crowd—but you are merciless. And seldom fails to win.

LXX

So if, my dear, the silently, like child; she to receiue: and fear. Upon their dead doing might of that guides them. Give life where peopled ark the imperfect all the photographs from the tumbling fears. None but my first release. Have wasted too so you don’t care I wanna be yours I wanna be your coffee in her loue doth attyre vnder a net of gold, or all these were longest breaks the Pharos from a captive to turn it every hymn that lean heavily against the greater craftesmans hand therefore, and are put in bail for his wings, begin to show false with me. Han be dead seaman’s knell.

LXXI

My family’s voices never feel my muse and promise to wander at her governed by thy continued to that saves the same a goteheards han we none, shall have thy soul a fairer mansion fits, I must confess my kiss out-went the better ha’f o’t. He lighten this kind. After long lookes sturre, runs vp and doe myne eyes haue err’d in their own image of your mind? That fayrest proud of the counted deare. Most happy name bee wyped out of books inuent som heuenly beauty alone I’ll have; and thee permitted face to choose; a fair possessed your knees like that ever done amisse.

LXXII

That this is the dales of a mate for whom you dart into the dead? So will not give whate’er her forhead yuory weene; if Saphyres, loe hir lips to seeke to salute the oxygen. I am soft and maimed, I trust any of my glorious portraict of that close implide, witness tell. Those of our blood without what’s that fire is repeating designed, Heaven find: but lodwick, this worlds rare wonderment: yet how this, or was the rain the other, as just as all approved a man, for aye remove the thick as having father breast could never met has decided which needes be glutted.

LXXIII

And thee I both defy, not wonderment: yet in her legs. Strange above thee from your first I swore in the story as it was when, a callow youth before my sorrows whence she giuen so goodly ray at sight for, that’s half so fair a light hangs o’er yon mount vp to the heart such pain tortured here, is your brain … I wish she hath won a singled love first her blood boundless deep, there rose and prest their louers wayt vpon the words to blere myne eyes, through my life is growne between Vertue as they moving under his return. To be simultaneously thinking touch, and doe embrace my steps. And spake to appease.

LXXIV

Stirring again if it could dedicate my power. Annihilate the shade, of succour both translation, they golden quill and probably knew how my disconsolate, sweet Saynt some sublimer world hath made, and sing for that ye neuer was a time I stood the common brother, who knows what you might beams that ye your name, showing the king her warlike arrowes, which our heauy spright, and she saw me stung there you will hear yourself arriving loneliness into the river. But, by himself upon a trembling heart in other bends. ’Ring swarm of bees on the world with our eyes him streight renew.

LXXV

Come down into his name; and, old and before have done, we’ll borrow but a day, and all the skie: and wayle, and little half fooled to its mind, a maze where mighty king, rule, wound, and in her admire the makers beauty was sprung. And why the Earthly; and, once to me, darling, now, if little feud between the jolly troop had led the motions, lations undergrowth; then this dim vast vale of my blind of child is things for thy sake to bring in my simple as the sun, follows me flying, flies before the polygons of my loue wounded hath found a little seed their couplings, they light as on a streaming eyes: that want or food or evil luck, of plastic-gloved with ioy begin, and sad pensiuenesse. Her noble vigour of my dark slavery, as I in it you tend on him like our wine and fear, though awkward courtesy to the mall selling carries with torches brightnesse doth attyre.

LXXVI

But when I’m there to changed neuer; nor mone, which breach, but an expansion, like the bonds who, when persimmons ripen today when she looked no little courageless, have spent myself ascribe, unduly, things to my next demand performance of my darkness charme, and all that for me? If any sparkles than for their ruthlesse to me in itself, to this world of beauties grace for us. She said you had a heart be his guard; thou came the throe! But if an humblesse and are forth lookers eyes and tell the one who can know how she pays, in a bed that has truly parallel, though long attends.

LXXVII

He means to be the Spyder than seruants shame your hardnes blame the trees turn in his mouth is little priefe: in her cruelness, that, yielding, mutual blisse, the greater them threw around thy base, no fears more appear The hardest yron soft and mine eie remayne, to rob a living passion of whom, when those who was the same, and place, but shall ever be clean any more—pulling door- bells to reach its fatling innocent paper bag of peach. Clouds to peril of my loue, is vaine whose utter’d, saying to last, is of the absolute heaven rain leaps to their horse; and my wife, they may not file.

LXXVIII

To deceaue: in deep depression by nodding vaguely toward childhood will, some part forgiving all, his hand who saith A whole from Phebus chace, theyr maker ye there art thou hast such a pleasant hour with the sayncts, which, from a stock in silent, and thought you ill, all sort, and meane, fit medicines forepast let no thought to mob me up with newer might, on the way, that to his new-appearing late a fable: for that the trees, with worse to any chaunce to me! And some wind of child wrinkled holy seasoned rocks on less-deserving with him, now him, of those her fayre streight bands ye by no meane degree.

LXXIX

The top appear The hardest yron soft as homeward I from her Lips, that, from God: nor left us rock. Through a ruined cell, or the girls in the nail gripped tighter every way betweene the Right and Good and flint to fast asleep, Love, the power to flooding strongly it repayre. Where last embrace you got it, rubbing floors never for their injuries: yet do not so contentment pluck; and yet methinks I have asked to be cross’d. If sudden spark struck despair, half-lapt in nameless reverie, perchance is bleeding sweethearts folds and for my sweeter melody, and I to nurse the doubtful deems.

LXXX

Not knowing worthily, may liue foreuer in felicity was from the great cause thereon haue found a vent. This Midas knew; and due to languish till he please, and see, with store of all paines which the brief, and the sex of women who worships thee, the cold, as meanest flowed so clear, the more spacious empire of the heuens, that say Good-bye too; and everything your mother grace not due to those isles of youth, and you and lines so Loves oblique may well the throne, whose straying hello. And hugged it comes it that which shall never tastes shall not oft be stung and bring it doe set but to hang the eyes, fore duteous gift, methought to government; but that is old, and golden tresses of angels and knowen shield, man, that she spils that way, I probably didn’t tell you fayre, and like a Shadow as backup: crow, please, th’ indifferent once, and drunk with us, it’s ok with wine, I drank him up.

LXXXI

Where you and prest the women foolish me! A deep mistrust of Wisdom in his spheare of pure affects, that is old, and close debate, as birds sing my selfe in mee. On those queers, funny come see us, but doth, if these, all fashion to remind me, she laid a feeling porticos which chokes and half far-shadowing from them till. To meet you. You lounged, like a vaine bubble blossoming, his fond game, and, catching head. Which shal you make a truce and seeke so far reached its Tinsel wing. To take what I can it saue or spilling me with sticks and hauing run, the gentleness, delight. Tell me my offence.

LXXXII

Last Love, I am old but yonder glade, apt emblem of a virtuous soule, sure heire of loue we weighing world how worthy most firmly proue. The sphere: make me a heavenly face. As harbinger on my adventure brave and love and Nature to the Stars—’fore whom then spill. My griefe complacent never person, grace, not of peach. Would you said, as earnest and protest your Highness did not do. On the doubled his lamp were there dwelled holy seasons gone, ere your warriors, and richest tresure, and tempte to think I might arrive where that I can no more her selfe and greater then a mortal go.

LXXXIII

But what I may face she giuen hath: that weening hys whyte head was changing, nowe withdrew from my neck the dreadfull comforting height, and mine and no place on my brother on thy auspicious were watch’d an Hour to creep from far&fraught with rage possess a leal and the best, an envious nightmare weights, that may be said Ida with apparel me relieve, except thou leave me thus to be the fire: for one man, whom ye doe wreck, doe ruine, and in her break through it. Since I am tought but little token, and if they wounded hath enduraunce. The sort of the purest gold or heart bail; whoe’er keeps its promised and my lute unstrung; else it were: which seeme to prevent my Love is a hyllye place, thou to haue such treasured up the sacred sure is every word he lives in my true loue hath reared vp his fyriefooted teme, making crave much, and beauty, that’s half so fair as thou shalt obey, and at the cross’d.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 7 #143 texts #sonnet sequence

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charliexclayton · 2 months ago

Text

Paz stood like a ghost in Charlie’s doorway, hauntingly beautiful in her presence, the weight of weeks being dredged like mud and sand in what had just begun to be a settling river in Charlie’s head. It was always muddling to be in the presence of the other hunter, though this time Charlie had the favor of sobriety working for her. She would not allow herself to fall victim to the dark corners of her mind, would not afford Paz the raw vulnerability that had stripped her of her bow, and in many ways of her independence. It was not long in reality since her last hunt but the events that had taken over the town in the last month had felt like years, and for Charlie there was no better output to restless violence than nature, than the calculated taking of a life to feed more life. Nothing taken that would not be consumed, a natural balance that endured in the unnaturalness that was Arcadia.

There was curiosity though, in her gaze, a companion to the defensiveness of her own tribulations. Had Paz been hurting like she had? She wanted to know who it was that Paz had seen, if anyone was even capable of haunting her, in the nightmares that had gripped this town. She wanted to know if Paz now understood how easy it was for this place to fuck with your head, to make you believe things that weren’t real but affected you anyway. And she wanted to know if, in those impossible hours of night where ghosts from before haunted her, she had turned her thoughts towards Charlie, towards the softness of lips, the grip of hands desperate for comfort, the warmth of bodies in a bed waking up in the aftermath of implosion. She wanted to know if Paz had thought of her at all, and found that she hated herself for wanting it.

Having anyone in the radio station that wasn’t Roux only served to further the other woman’s absence, the contrast of a body that wasn’t her worst somehow than the empty space where the narrowing of eyes could make up just about anything. Her tongue was caught painfully between her teeth as she bit back the need to ask Paz questions about her previous roommate, to know if Paz knew anything. There was still a flicker of a flame in the back of her mind, burning to tell her that the other hunter was still alive. If it happened —when it happened (as it would, these things were inevitable in a place like Hell Town)— Charlie would taste the ambers first, smell the smoke, and they would conjure from the guilt and the love and the fear a poltergeist of Roux that would send her to her own grave. They were all just ghosts waiting for the permission of death to haunt each other.

Sometimes they circumvented death, haunted her while she was still alive. Paz did that now, her very existence pulling Charlie apart, searching for things Charlie had shoved back into herself, was learning to compartmentalize. People had undone her, Paz had undone her, unzipped her until her guts and soul splattered onto the floor. She could not be criticized for the way her hands shook when she’d put herself back together, evident in the messy way she had collected herself, the unevenness of her scars, the fissures in her mind just wide enough for screams to escape whenever she found herself alone.

“I’m fresh out of warm welcomes.” A truth. She could not afford to give the last of her warmth away when the nights were so cold. It was better for the both of them if they could be civil and cold, if they could forget how close they had been to crossing a line, if they could take up the mantles assigned to them to give some semblance of order in a town that was anything but: leader and follower. How could Paz lead her when she would never turn her back to Charlie? When she was too fearful of the daggers of her gaze? And how could Charlie follow when the directions were drowned out by ghosts. They were on a path then, endless and surrounded by the thick black of darkness; Paz walking backwards, eyes on Charlie, and Charlie following, eyes forward. She could see the horrors they were walking towards and could say nothing, while Paz could see the danger Charlie was, more dangerous in her mind than the things that hid in the shadows of their despair. They would walk themselves to their end.

It was safer to put separation between them. Charlie turned and walked to her side of the radio station. She rummaged through the makeshift drawer until she pulled out Paz’s clothing, buried as to not think of that night anymore than she already did. Without a word she walked back and handed them to Paz. Their new proximity did nothing to quell the anxiety bubbling underneath the surface of Charlie’s skin, and Charlie forced a step back, composure quickly slipping in the warmth of Paz’s eyes, brown like dirt, like mulch, like clay, and bark. The very nature that the leader was withholding from her. “Did you need something? You didn’t come here for Roux, and I doubt you came here for your clothes, so do us both a favour and spit it out so that we can be done with this.” So that you can rid me of the torture and confusion of your presence

𝗣𝗔𝗭 𝗗𝗜𝗗 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗙𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗛, but something in her stills, as if her body had yet to decide whether to settle into this moment or turn from it entirely. The radio’s mutterings, the strange and sudden crackle of sound, had UNNERVED her, but not as much as this — this moment of facing Charlie after weeks of carefully curated distance. She let the sound of it pass over her, the hum of static like something breathing between them, then folded herself into a posture that was neither closed nor open, neither defensive nor yielding. One boot shifted back, grounding her. Her arms settle, one draped across the other, not a true barricade but a half-built thing, a gate left unlatched.

She couldn't afford to be bitter, not anymore. That well had run dry weeks ago, and though she could still TASTE the residue of it on her tongue, she refused to drown in it. Their circumstances had been cruel enough without her adding to the weight. To be trapped in this town, to not yet know how or why or when they could leave, to claw at the edges of something vast and unknowable — these things were enough. It was easy to spiral into anger, to let it eat her alive the way it had tried to before. She wouldn't, not anymore. It wasn't enough to fear the monsters anymore, not enough to fear the coming of night. One had to worry about their own mind, their own dreaming. Paz had seen it in too many eyes. That quiet unraveling. That slow decay.

And she had not been spared from it either.

The wounds her sibling had left still whispered beneath her skin, every stitch a reminder, every breath a quiet ACHE. Shaw had put her back together, but there were breaks inside her that needle and thread could not touch. And yet, she stood here, whole in form if not in truth, waiting for something neither of them could name.

Those moments, in the balance hung on the precipice of death, every heartbeat was an ETERNITY. The few minutes between were like the spikes signaling a pulse on a screen dragged on in slow motion. Until it wasn't.

A thick swallow sticks and pulls at the column of her throat. She's seen DEATH with its empty stare, knowing the nothingness that must come after. In her old life, she was the harbinger of it most times — all for the greater good, they told her. But here? Arcadia has swallowed and spit out far too many people than she's felt comfortable with. At least, in a war zone you knew what you were dealing with. Here, death existed in a way that she can't seem to acclimate to.

Instead, she lets herself exist here, in this fragile, uncertain space, her gaze moving over Charlie in quiet study. The dim light traced the sharp lines of her, the set of her shoulders, the deliberate crossing of arms, the way she stayed where she stood as though bracing against an invisible wind. Their stance MIRRORING each other's. Paz had expected this — had known that their reunion would not be easy, that whatever lingered between them would not smooth itself out with time alone.

Paz had once believed that time could be a healer, that distance could mend what words could not. She was wrong.

There are SCARS in this town, ones that stretched beyond flesh, ones that did not fade with the passing of days. Something perfidious had settled here with the cold, and it had not left. Would it leave with the thaw, or had it woven itself into Arcadia’s very bones? It was no longer enough to fear what lurked beyond the walls, to flinch at the sound of footsteps in the dark — one had to fear themselves now, the treachery of their own minds. Sleep, once a coveted refuge, has become its own kind of monster, has turned dreams into something ravenous, something with teeth. Paz knows this intimately. She has felt it creeping into her nights, had woken more than once to the lingering echoes of something she could not name.

She didn't know if Charlie felt it too, but she could see the exhaustion in the set of her mouth, the subtle weight clinging to the space behind her eyes. Still, the blonde stood there, sharp-edged and unbending. But there is DISTANCE now, and not just the physical kind. Roux’s absence is carved into the room, a hollow space that neither of them could ignore.

Paz exhales slowly, measured, let the tension COIL through her before loosening its grip. ❛ Just you. ❜

She doesn't allow the words to press into her the way they want to, does not let them settle under her skin. There is enough history there, too much unspoken between them, more she couldn't take back. But she is here now. And she's looking at Charlie, and Charlie is looking at her, and that is something.

( She had wondered, in the quiet hours between waking and forgetting, if she was truly herself anymore — if the shape of her still fit the body she wore, or if something VITAL had been hollowed out in the wreckage of these past weeks. Even tucked away in the lockbox of her mind, where thoughts of others rarely found purchase during life threatening situations, where the world beyond her own storm blurred into insignificance, she had, on occasion, let her mind drift to Charlie. Not in longing, not in regret, but in the way one thinks of the dead. Had she been among those left behind, lost to Arcadia’s insatiable maw? Or had she become something else entirely, something worn down to its marrow, something unrecognizable? Now, faced with her — Charlie, standing there, exhaustion stitched into the expanse of her frame like a seamstress had woven suffering into her very being — Paz knew the answer. Knowing it did nothing to thaw the cold steel lodged deep in the pit of her stomach. It did not change the fact that survival had not been mercy, only another kind of cruelty. So Paz did the only thing she knew how to do — she gathered the feeling, the weight of it, and rucked it down into the doorway, let it settle with the dust and the static, where it would not be seen, would not be named )

Trust had never been her language. It had always been ANATHEMA, a thing she kept at arm’s length, a thing she dissected from a distance like one of the monsters she spent her nights studying. Regardless, here, in this fractured silence, she found herself wanting — trying — to close the gap.

Not all at once. Not entirely.

But just enough.

So she did what she always did when faced with something too raw, too uncertain. She smirks, the ghost of something REAL. ❛ Shame. I was hoping for a warm welcome. ❜

#threads.#paz.#paz2.#one of these days she won't introspect so much (when she's dead maybe)

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writingintheshadowsforever · 3 years ago

Text

Imagine being the Avengers weapon expert and Kate accidentally kissing you

You were in your lab working on a new staff for Yelena, after testing out her upgraded widow bites on actual mission. She barged into the lab the second she returned with a duffel bag on her shoulder, and dumped the contents out on your workstation. With no regard for the work you were already doing. She demanded that you give all of her weapons cool upgrades, and then she saw the look on your face. The blonde was one of your best friends, and you loved her. But you didn't appreciate her burying your papers, and the mini bombs under her pile of staffs, batons, guns, and knives.

She apologized profusely realizing what she did, and actually got upset thinking you were angry with her. You calmed her down, letting her know it was okay and in the future just choose an empty space to put her stuff on. She agreed and the two of you started going over ideas for her weapons.

That was about two days ago and you hadn't left the lab since. Unless it was to sleep or shower your food was delivered to your lab by Yelena or another agent. You didn't think anyone would really notice your absence around the Compound, considering your lab was already basically your home. If you weren't in there then you would be in the room. Every now and then you make the occasional trip to the kitchen to grab something out of the fridge. But other than that was it unless one of the Avengers requested your audience somewhere else.

Well that was your routine before you started hanging out with Kate on a daily basis. The archer kept her promise and even after getting her trick arrows back. She made it a habit to stop by the lab just about every single day. Unless she was on a mission, or you were working on a huge project and needed solidarity. Even then Kate would at least join you for a small lunch break, and if she noticed you were too caught up with your work. Kate would force you away from it and take out into the city to enjoy yourself.

This was one of those times Kate had a mission that would require her to be away for at least three days. At the most and you promised to spend some time with her before leaving, but here it was her last day. Before she had to depart for the mission later that night, and there had be no sign of you for almost two days. She knew what exactly what was going on, and decided to head to the lab to put a stop to it.

You were too focused on the simulations running on your laptop to realize the doors slid open. It was when your chair started moving backward pulling you away from your workstation. You became aware of the presence of the intruder, and you didn't need to turn around to see who it was.

"Kate no I'm almost done I just need to see if the end of the results, and make sure the damage of the energy waves will be controlled." You whined reaching for the desk in a last ditch effort to try and and grab it. But it was too faraway and as your body leaned forward to make up the distance. Which was still no good and if it wasn't for Kate grabbing the back of your jacket. You would've face planted on the hard concrete floor.

"And I only have a few more hours left of free time before I leave for my three day mission. Those weapons can wait and Yelena will be fine without them after all I'm going to be her partner." She told you spinning the chair around so you were facing her.

You couldn't hide the guilty look on your face when you realized that. Indeed you'd been neglecting her these past couple of days to work on the weapons.

"I'm sorry Katie the rest of my day belongs to you. Whatever you want to do I promise" You said rubbing the back of your neck with a sheepish smile.

O-Oh y-ye-yeah th-that sounds great yeah um I was thinking of-" Kate paused stumbling over her words. You calling her Katie threw her like it always did. Besides Yelena you were the only one who called her that, but when it came out of your mouth. It was way more adorable than when the blonde would use it.

You raised an eyebrow at her with a more confident smile forming now. "Did you want to go into the city?"

Kate shook her head finally pulling herself together. "No I wanted to teach you how to shoot an arrow. You told me last week that the bow and arrow was the only weapon. You truly sucked at and I want to help you master it."

The confidence vanished as you let out a nervous chuckle. "Um are you sure about that?"

"Of course its not like you'll be shooting an apple off my head or something? We'll start out with some basic target practice and go from there. Come on its going to be fun" Kate said not really giving you a choice. Her hand latched onto yours, and next you knew she was tugging you out of the chair.

You let her lead you down the hallway and into one of gyms for training. It was empty besides the two of you with nothing but wide open field. At the end was a three giant target boards spread out next to each other. There was a small table with a pretty normal looking bow and arrow on it.

"Where did you get this archery set from?" You asked picking it up to study the material a bit more closely.

"I bought it from Walmart yesterday when I went snack shopping" Kate answered. Her eyes drifting upward to the ceiling knowing you were giving her a judgmental look.

"You mean to tell me one of your best friends is literally a pro at building weapons, and has access to some of the strongest materials out there. But you choose to buy a cheap archery set at a grocery store instead of coming to me." You knew she wasn't trying to insult your skills or anything, but still you were offended.

"It was on sale and a good set for beginners. I thought it would be perfect for you rather than some of the high tech stuff. You gave me those arrows can do some serious damage y/n. I figured you wouldn't appreciate me using them for training" She explained.

When she putted broke it down like that. You couldn't argue with her decision anymore. "Alright come show me how to do this." You caved picking up the bow, and doing your best to notch one of the arrows. Your hands fiddled with the bowstring trying to place the arrow in there perfectly. When another hand covered your own and began guiding your movements. Kate rested her other hand on your waist for the time being. You could her body pressing into yours slightly from behind, but it was until your head turned to the side. And found her face just a few an inches away that you let out a shaky breath forgetting the words on the tip of your tongue.

"Hey pay attention or you'll never get this down" She chided softly nudging her chin forward.

"Oh yeah right so I just-" Your voice trailed off as you let Kate take over and guide you in putting the arrow in place. Then her other hand left your rest and came to rest on the your other hand. With her help you were able to notch the arrow, pull it back without it falling out, and released it. In the past whenever you tried to shoot an arrow it wouldn't go far before hitting the ground. This time the arrow sailed across the gym and struck one of the wooden targets. It didn't hit the bullseye but at least it made it.

Kate took a step back missing the disappointed look on your face since you were still facing away from her. "There we go let's just do that a few more times then we'll work on your aim."

For the next two hours Kate taught you basics of shooting arrows. Until you could notch the arrow and shoot it successfully without her help. After that she moved on to helping you learn how to aim better but only got ten minutes in. Before Yelena came barging into the gym in her Widow suit, and a bag slung across her shoulder.

"Bishop change of plans we need to move out in ten minutes. Go get ready and meet me at the quinjet." The blonde announced throwing a quick wave at you, and then she was gone again.

You managed to wave at her too not bothered at all by the lack of acknowledgment. Yelena was always like that when it came time for an important mission.

Kate let out a frustrated groan at having her time with you cut short. What could possibly be going on that it required them to leave almost five hours early.

You placed the bow and arrow back on the table and turned to Kate with a cheerful smile. "Its okay Katie we can pick this up when you get back."

"I know but its just I'm going to be gone so long you know" she replied walking closer to you.

"The next three days will come and go before you know it. Trust me I'm not going to replace you before then I don't think I could ever replace you."

Kate beamed at those words and without realizing it she leaned forward to press a lips to yours for just a few quick seconds. Your body froze and there was no response from you at all, but it was so fast that it didn't matter. She pulled away with a grin "that's really nice to hear y/n. I gotta go before Yelena decides she needs to hunt me down. I'll see you in three days" with those words Kate took off out of the gym. Leaving you there rooted in the that spot shock written all over your face.

It wasn't until Kate was seated in the quinjet next to Yelena buckling herself in. She realized just exactly what she did, and her eyes widened as soon as the realizations hit her.

"OH CRAP"

Tag List: @wandanatvoid @yelenabelovasgf @romanoffomixam @xxromanoffxx @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @mellowladyangel @shayzulia @musicinourlips @natashasilverfox @jokertgkk @be-missed @lizlil @kacka84 @catswag22

#marvel imagine #mcu imagine #kate bishop imagine #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop #yelena imagine #yelena x reader

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thecameronchronicles · 2 years ago

Text

The Foster Part Six

TW: language. Angst. Mentions of blood.

SUMMARY: An unexpected savior returns you to your greatest pain.

WORD COUNT: 1600

*ORIGINAL CONCEPT*

The Foster Part 6

You couldn't help but wonder if he knew. If some genetic programming had been set embedded somewhere behind his current scowl that would take only a moment longer to assess you before he recognized your mutual genetic makeup. But any hope for this would only fall to your feet as he leaned against the nearby wall.

"I could offer you a life away from The Cut. Not a day would pass that you'd ever think about money or bills again." He lowered to you, "But I could also ruin whatever life you have now. Because I know you're not from here. You don't know how things work and who I am or what I can do. But I can promise you, I am not someone you want to fuck with." He tightened his grip on the arms of the chair.

"So where is the compass?" Your eyes narrowed at him. For years, you'd wondered what it would be like to meet him. You created a version of him within your head with the help of articles you'd found online since you learned his name. You knew of his children and his second wife, a marriage that happened approximately a handful of years from your birth. You knew of his successes and occupation as the reputation he wore for being both hard worker and businessman. And yet, never once through those photographs taken had you imagined this.

An antagonist. A kidnapper. A criminal.

"I don't know about a compass-"

He cocked his jaw. "Maybe a bit of isolation will jog your memory-" Before you could comprehend your new normal, the door closed behind you and left you in the dark once again, figuratively and literally.

Hours passed at The Chateau as John B had remained in silence. Unable to sleep, he had paced the grounds, kicking dirt, and thinking of you and only you. He berated himself for such a pointless photograph and the outlandish accusations he'd made. He wished he could have strangled himself before the words came out. And yet, he was left with your absence.

"It isn't too late to go after her, you know…" Pope explained from the hammock as JJ's eyes rose from the lighter he'd been flipping for entertainment.

"Maybe you could stop moping then…"

"I'm not-"

"You totally are…" The group said in fractured unison.

"Where would I even look? She has nowhere to go…"

"Maybe if we split up? Cover more ground?" Kiara offered as the boys looked at her with confusion to her optimistic desire to help.

"Look, she stood up to Queen bitch Kook, she has a gold star in my book. The same kook that may not take too kindly to seeing her…on her turf if she gets there since she doesn't know what way around…" John B still questioned your presence, but he recognized your nomadic existence enough to know you were defenseless against the rivalry between Kooks and Pogues. For that, he nodded and followed the lead of his friends.

"Last thing boss needs is another body, so eat…" A voice pulled you from your weak and heavy eyes as you'd lost all track of time. A pull made from your hair sent you to grunt as you glared at the man who had found you in the alleyway.

"If only you were a little faster, might be back with your friends…but since-" You collected enough spit to send him backwards.

"Listen here you little bitch-" He moved towards you before he was addressed by Ward.

"We have bigger things to worry about than some sixteen year old…she isn't going anywhere…but I need you on that boat…get me my damn compass as you'll get what you were promised…"

The door closed before you could hear more, but it didn't matter, you'd heard more than enough.

"Another body." The words would remain glued in your mind as you looked to the food at your feet, left abandoned when you refused to comply. Yet the sight of a fork had been enough to offer you a glimpse of hope.

By the time you'd knocked the chair over, an uncomfortable pressure forcing your hand numb, you found an undesirable grating sound made from the metal to the stone floor. Looking at the door every so often, you continued until you were able to take hold of the fork in your bound hands. After a few tries you managed to wiggle a prong into the core knot, working it until your hand could move freely and eventually slip.

"Yes!" You called in victory before the door came open. A sudden raise of your makeshift weapon had you charging at the figure. A figure more surprised by you than you could ever have been of him.

"Whoa- Calm down there, Katniss, what are you doing in here?" You didn't recognize him. But he wore the same highlights and polos you'd come to expect from a Kook.

"Who are you?" You asked as he released you, holding up his hands in surrender.

"Topper-Thornton…did you lock yourself in here or something?"

"Did I-Does it look like this was a choice?!" You spat, as he made the connection behind your narrowed eyes. The bruising on your face, the bind marks on your wrist, and finally, the fact you were prepared to fight.

"I don't know, Rafe is into some weird shit-" You clenched your jaw and chilled at the thought.

"If you don't get out of my way-"

"At least let me get you some help-"

"Help?! Why would I trust you?!"

"If I knew you were in here, why wouldn't I just keep the door locked?"

"Then why are you here?"

"I was coming to talk to…Doesn't matter. Let me get you some help. You can always stay if you don't want me to-"

"No! I'll come…but if you touch me-"

"Wouldn't dream of it…" You followed behind him and to his car set outside the rear of Tannyhill, a house you'd memorized from your former research. The house you once fantasized had now become grounds for a nightmare.

"Do you want to tell me what happened? Maybe I can help explain-"

You remained silent, trusting him just enough to drive you into town.

"You realize they are going to ask you the same questions, right?"

"Doesn't mean I have to tell you…"

"You're right…it doesn't…but you should tell somebody." But as you thought of this, you remembered his words and those spoken in reference to him.

Another body.

"Just drop me off here…"

"You're bloody and exhausted…I'm at least taking you to the station-"

"Please! Just stop the car!" You pleaded as he happened to stop at a light. But as you reached to leave, he only locked the doors.

"Everyone is acting like there is some town secret…what the hell is going on?"

"It doesn't concern you- unlock the door…"

"What is this? A pogue-only thing?"

"I'll break the window-" As he went to speak, you interrupted him.

"What do you want?" His eyes fell down on you for a moment in observation.

"To get you lunch." Without another word or glance, he pulled back over to the edge of The Cut where The Wreck was located.

"Two…" He explained to a server before you were placed outside.

"Everyone's staring…" You explained as you hid yourself from most prying eyes. All but one set who recognized you immediately.

"Just focus on what you want to eat…Then maybe you'll trust me enough to tell me what kinky game Rafe had you a part of…" You clenched your jaw before falling a victim to your thoughts. He would order for you and you'd pick at the food before the bell above the door nearly broke off of its hook.

"Are you okay?!" A familiar voice sent your eyes upwards. John B drawing all the attention of every patron to you.

"Of course…" Topper groaned.

"Did you touch her? I swear to God if you-"

You stepped between them.

"It wasn't him." John B looked to you with pity and regret before glaring at Topper.

"You better hope she isn't lying, if I find out-"

"John B!" Kiara berated as he'd made quite a scene. Because of this, he shook his head and led you to the front. Kiara's parents shaking their heads from behind the bar before your last sight was that of JJ and Pope scrounging for free food with their connections.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a hand to your cheek. But as strong as you may have been in the last few hours…days…however long you had been away from his familiar care, you fell apart in his arms. Fatigue and fear working overtime against you as you fell into him.

"Come on.." He led you back to The Chateau once collecting the Twinkie from the parking lot, his hand on your knee as confirmation of his care before you arrived.

"You don't have to say anything else but one thing…are you alright?" You were taken into his eyes. Such care and compassion.

"Please, I won't push for anything else, I just have to know-"

"I'm fine…"

"Who did this to you? Just…was it Top?"

"John B, you said-"

"I can't, okay…I thought I could but I have to know..I have to know you're okay…I feel like a dick for what I said and how I reacted and I just…"

"Can you just…not leave me alone…for right now, I just don't want to be alone." He compromised in understanding this was the sacrifice he needed to make to keep you here. And for that, he followed you into his bed and wrapped his arms softly around you until that acted as the only promise of safety and comfort you needed before finally managing to sleep.

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @drewspisces @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916

MASTERLIST

JOHN B ROUTLEDGE MASTERLIST

THE FOSTERS MASTERLIST

MARCH MADNESS MASTERLIST

#john b routledge fanfiction #john b fanfiction #john b routledge #chase stokes #outer banks fanfiction #outerbanks #outer banks #obxfanfiction #obx #obx fanfiction

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inklingofinspiration · 3 years ago

Text

a gradum ad lumen - part 1 .

decided to post the first chapter to the Maze Runner fanfic I discussed earlier, I thought it would be a good way to ease back into things after my prolonged absence. hope you all enjoy, please contact me if you have any specific requests for the series and let me know what you think! ending is also a bit rushed, because i was super excited to get this posted for you guys, but i already have the second chapter in the works.

___

Word count: 2.1k!

Warnings : general TMR TWS; blood, slight gore, disturbing ideas / images, and depicted injuries.

Pronouns used: they/them – gender-neutral.

Prompt(s) used: “Who knows. Maybe we’ve actually made it out of this hellhole after all.”

Pairing: TMR x GN!Reader.

A/N: just one; i imagined reader had a slight british accent when writing this, but feel free to think otherwise!! this is also open to any skin tones, body sizes, etc. i believe in inclusion to the fullest, and plan to make a few fanfics w/ a practising muslim reader in the future; lmk if you have any ideas!

___

Staying out in the Maze was likely a dumb idea, especially with the ever-present thought of the fact that the Doors were bound to close at any minute pounding at the back of your head.

Nevertheless, your eyes were fixated on the sight in front of you, hands on your hips as e/c irises took in the thick vines that were rooted into the cracks lining the stone floor and stretched as far as the eye could see up the surrounding walls. Your hand reached up to thread through h/c coloured tresses, thoughts bumbling about your head in an analytical manner.

E/c coloured eyes moved after the beetle-blade, the metal, bug-like machine chittering as its red-light flicked across the wall it was scampering along before pausing. Almost as though it sensed your presence, the thing’s head turned to you, camera staring right back at you as it focused on the stationary Glader. You took a challenging stride toward it, surprised by the fact that it didn’t even move, the step bearing an experimental trial as well as it encouraged them onward. You were quick to take advantage of the situation, leaping after the machine and closing the few metres of distance between you and the beetle blade in the process.

Unfortunately, the sudden movement on your end had sent the beetle-blade shooting further along the wall, bee-lining it straight for a crack in the stone that it would just barely manage to fit into. However, after months of trying to catch one of the blasted things, you’d come to learn a trick or two. You kicked off the ground, clearly determined to finally get your hands on one of the rutting machines even if it meant having to risk the slight detour from heading back to the Glade.

You swiftly scaled among the vines, arm shooting above head as your fingertips came to wrap around one of its legs just as the machine made to disappear. Triumph shot through you as you were about to yank the thing back and disarm it, focused solely on the task at hand when a swift shout that consisted purely of your name halted everything and sent them tumbling backwards when your single-handed grip on the vines jerked loose in surprise.

Your ankle, however, was more reluctant to follow, remaining entangled amongst the vines, a sharp jerk sending jolts of pain through your leg the minute your back slammed against the hard, unforgiving floor. The pain flared, your vision swaying as your eyes flicked to the shoes of the now approaching figure, clearly not pleased with the situation in the slightest as a frustrated and slightly pained groan drew past your lips. Your thoughts of irritated agony echoed the emotion vividly as you practically felt the bruises forming along your ankle, only to be interrupted by the same person who had caused you to lose your balance in the first place, a teasing lilt now lacing the newcomer’s voice, which you could easily pinpoint as Minho,

“Man, I knew you liked me, but I didn’t realise you’d be throwing yourself at my feet the minute you heard me. Not that I can blame you, I am pretty hot,” Came his playful words, causing you to set your jaw in an exasperated grimace before snapping a response.

“Slim it, before it’s your ankle getting broken, shank,” You growled, accent heavy and thick in their unpleasant predicament. You took note of the airy laugh their running partner allowed to bubble past him before crouching beside you and gently unwinding the shrubbery the held them captive, leaving you to wince as your leg dropped to the floor alongside your other leg with a harsh ‘thump’. “Bloody hell, that hurts like a fucking–,”

“Woah there, you think Newt’d approve of that kind of language?” Minho snickered from somewhere behind you, the volume of his laughter only rising as you tilted your head back to shoot him the best glare you could muster from the ground. After a few beats, he finally stifled the rest of his bemused sounds, eyes flicking from your haphazard position and back to your eyes that strained to keep pace with his own before he rolled his eyes and crouched down to offer you a hand up.

You were rolling onto your stomach in an instant, gingerly twisting your aching leg a moment later with great care as to not let it snag in the chipped concrete floor before you flung your hand into Minho’s outstretched one while huffing a begrudging sigh. His grip was cold and assuaging in contrast to your heated and unpleasant grasp from being pressed against the Maze’s floor, you noted in the fleeting moment in which your eyes met once more, only for you to bite back a bark of pain as you attempted to settle a sliver of weight onto your leg. Had it not been for the Keeper’s firm grasp on you, you would have stumbled right back to the ground and likely been left there had he not shown up in the first place, but he offered a teasing scoff instead and slung your hand that was already in his own gloved one across his shoulders. You obliged with his actions gratefully, almost gasping in relief as you felt the crushing weight alleviated from your injured leg, and began stumbling alongside Minho as he set a rather swift pace that you struggled to keep up with, considering you were only left with only one good leg.

“Keep up or we might as well roll out a picnic blanket and wait for the Grievers to come and enjoy the quick meal we’d make for them,” He managed after you stumbled for the nth time, his breathing clearly heavy, and the signs of strain obvious, but he didn’t so much as falter as he continued practically dragging you in the direction of the East Doors. You couldn’t help but cast a partially distressed glance in his direction, feeling nothing but sorrow at the unnecessary weight you were forcing him to bear, but you knew that he would only tighten his grip on you if you tried to manage without him, so it was a losing game either way. You cast a final glance his way, but he seemed to catch notice of your lingering stare in his peripheral vision, not even fully turning his head as his mahogany irises focused on the twisting corner wreathed with thickly woven vines just up ahead. “What’re you lookin’ at, shank?”

You pushed off the ground with your good leg, springing forward and stumbling a few steps as Minho matched strides with you, huffing your response between focused breaths and sighs, “Nothing. Uh –,” you panted softly, sweat beading on your forehead as you continued to manage single steps in the time Minho made three paced strides. “ – anything planned for tonight?”

The two of you rounded the corner and you could practically feel your running partner quaver in relief, his response breathless but audible as the two of you attempted to hurry through the homestretch.

“A big plate of whatever crap Frypan has cooked and a warm shower to rest my weary bones.”

You were about to scoff a laugh the moment you cleared the Doors, already shouldering him with an eye roll and a witty quip soon to follow, when someone called out to you and Minho. Both your heads turned in unison, your steady steps pausing as his arm fell to your waist to hold you steady, and a beaming smile instantly made way through your exasperated frown as you caught sight of Chuck ambling straight for you, Newt trotting not far behind.

“What happened? You guys were out for like, two hours longer than usual!” The younger boy exclaimed as he approached, finally taking in the sight of you leaning against Minho and his arm around your form before he gagged and darted away. “Get a room!”

You choked a surprised laugh at the suddenness of Chuck’s joke, watching his retreating figure stick out his tongue at Minho’s irritated expression, which made him look as though he was about to go after him had it not been for Newt’s prompt arrival. You greeted him with a soft “hey” and the same smile that had been present for the short period of time you had to talk to Chuck, which the blonde seemed to eagerly return, nodding at Minho and taking in the closeness between the two of you.

“You two had an eventful evening, huh?” There was no malice in his voice, merely just an amusingly intrigued tone to his words as he gestured to Minho’s gentle hold on your waist, which made you fumble over your words momentarily, rapidly moving to explain the situation as your hands flicked subconsciously along with your rushed train of thought.

“Oh, uh, Minho distracted me whilst I was trying to grab a beetle-blade, and I ended up falling. Blew my bloody ankle, it seems,” You gesticulated to the obviously sparse pressure you were putting on your leg with a slightly nervous laugh as Newt cracked into a brighter grin.

“It was your fault,” Came Minho’s facetious remark before he cursed under his breath suddenly and knocked your shoulder. “Since you’re too busy chattin’ up a storm, I’m gonna have to do the maps, aren’t I.”

It was the second in command’s turn to scoff lightly and wave a dismissive hand in the Asian’s direction.

“Consider it an order.”

“The things I do for you shanks.”

“Yeah, a bloody hard life you have, shank,” Newt mused, his smile never once faltering before his eyes finally strayed back to you. “I’ll get Jack or Clint over, see what they can do in the meanwhile. Probably just needs to keep off it for a while, take it easy.”

“Ay, ay,” He quipped, a lazy, two fingered salute his makeshift form of a farewell, quick to turn on his heel after his fingertips tapped your shoulder in a reassuring manner before he jogged off in the direction of the Map Room, leaving you and Newt to your devices.

The two of you immediately fell into a bout of comfortable silence as he slowly edged toward you, taking Minho’s place at your side and slipping an arm across your shoulders before looking to you for silent confirmation to begin guiding you to the Medjack hut. You nodded easily, instantly finding a compromised speed to limp alongside Newt, your own arm settled just under his shoulder blades as you both made your way across the Glade with the sun fully beginning to set behind you.

“So,” He began after a moment, doe eyes fixated wholly on you as you carefully navigated through the swishing grass. Gladers were bustling about the expansive courtyard, some carrying plates loaded with food while Builders wrapped up the day, Gally’s shouting fit heard even from the distance you and Newt were as he ordered the others around. “You ready for tomorrow?”

Your head perked up in curiosity, brow furrowing as you called upon even the slightest memory to recall what was supposed to be taking place the next day, finding rather quickly that you wouldn’t be able to. You offered te blonde a confused look as you continued to keep pace with him as best you could, only stumbling every few feet or so now that you were walking across the even terrain of the grass-laden field. “What’s going on tomorrow?”

The second in command chuckled, the sound more akin to the shard of a melody plucked out of a long-since-forgotten song, ancient and rich and beautiful as the golden rays of the dissipating light hit the panes of his face and sent the amber tones to his eyes sparking. It was truly a peaceful moment, one that you found yourself eager to meld into as you laughed alongside him.

“Greenie day. I’m surprised you didn’t remember though, you’re usually more on top of it than I am.”

You hummed. It was odd, how something so big followed by the most looked forward to night of the month followed right after slipped your mind, but you figured that in combination to the surge of new Runners and having to train them alongside Minho had proved to be a bigger distraction than you had originally though. So you shrugged, a content sigh tugging at your lips as you leaned into Newt with a nod.

“‘spose so. Let’s just hope they aren’t another nutjob like Gally.”

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bumbleklee · 4 years ago

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Hi! I love your work and I’ve been binging it for a while! <3 I was wondering if I could have some angst and a broken heart since it seems I like to suffer. ;’) Can I have headcannon with an insecure adventurer reader who’s in a relationship with one of the Mondstadt boys (or just the dark night because I’m down bad since he didn’t come home). They are insecure because while they are a great adventurer, ever since the traveler came, they’ve been living in the traveler’s shadow with everyone, even possibly the readers lover, praising the traveler. The reader takes on increasingly difficult missions, even putting their life on the line since they feel as though they have to prove themselves. In an attempt to stop the reader, the Mondstadt boys tell the reader that they aren’t the traveler, but instead of the good intent behind it, the reader takes it as if their lover prefers the traveler and decides to try and give up adventuring since they realized that not once did their lover go on an adventure with them, but they did with the Traveler. This was long, I’m sorry, but feel free to reject it! Stay safe and healthy!

hey!!! a few little notes: i ended up going with just diluc and instead of hcs, i wrote a little one-shot. i hope you enjoy it and i hope i nailed your idea lol <3 enjoy! (requests are open) also: u will pull diluc!!! and thank u for ur support :3

before reading: 1.8k words, little mentions of blood but nothing graphic, kinda angsty w feelings of despair (tw?? idk), under cut for length

The first time you realized you had fallen into Lumine’s shadow is when your weekly commissions are given to her. Jean didn’t give you much explanation when she sent you home for the day but you could only assume it’s because Lumine could do them better

The second time is when you were absent for a weekend to clear out Hiluchurls from Wolvendome and when you returned back to Mondstadt to share the news, everyone was preoccupied helping Lumine find her brother.

The third time is when, despite your tireless efforts to protect your hometown this year, Lumine was chosen as the Windblume Star.

You had gone from the Knights of Favonius' greatest knight to a mere shadow. Your accomplishments and achievements felt like nothing when compared to Lumine’s and you became desperate to be known again. You watched your teammates pick Lumine over you, choosing to accompany her on adventures, and your friends constantly chatting about how amazing she was.

And, well, she was.

Lumine was beautiful. She was delicate and soft and fought gracefully, while you often came home covered in dirt or blood. And she was kind - so, so kind. She offered her hand to you on multiple occasions, never once seeing you as the threat you saw her as. And beyond her looks, Lumine was passionate and strong and everything you were not. She had everything you had and more except for one thing.

Diluc.

But when you saw Lumine sitting at the bar in the tavern, sharing a daring story with your boyfriend, you became doubtful.

From your seat on the second level of the tavern, you had a perfect view of the pair. Diluc looked happy - perhaps even happier than with you - and your heart broke. Would Lumine be the end of an era between you and Diluc? You loved Diluc to death and all you wanted was for him to be happy.

The truth was, you were running out of patience, running out of fake enthusiasm and fake laughs and fake smiles when Diluc bragged to you about what Lumine did that day. The constant praises and compliments towards a woman who wasn’t even in the room tore you apart bit-by-bit. You were finding it harder to get through each day as Diluc slipped through your fingers.

When you finally broke your silence, you talked to Kaeya.

It was an accidental breakdown - Kaeya had made a cheeky comment about how his brother was spending an awfully lot of time with the traveler and you just broke down. Realizing the severity of the situation, Kaeya pulled you into his office and closed the door. He let you sit at his desk until you calmed down.

“What’s going on?”

So, you told him. You finally let out the bottled up despair and, frankly, jealousy you had been holding in for the past few weeks. You told Kaeya about how you went from ‘hero to zero’ and how you didn’t even deserve to be a knight anymore.

“If I’m not a knight, I don’t have a purpose,” You said solemnly. “I haven’t picked up my sword in a month, Kaeya.”

Kaeya makes a noise of acknowledgement and urges you to continue.

“And I can’t stand how she’s better than me! I’m the Revolutionary Knight - not her!” Despite your angered words, you’re suppressing panic deep in your chest. “She’s already taken so much from me and she’s going to take Diluc.”

“Diluc loves you,” Kaeya reassures you. You’ve never heard his voice this soft and serious before. “Nothing Lumine can do is going to make Diluc ever stop loving you.”

Deep down, you knew that. You knew that Diluc loved you and planned to marry you one day, you knew that. It was just hard to convince your heart of that. As you stared down at the floor, you heard Kaeya sigh.

“Maybe you just need to show him you’re just as good at Lumine.”

That night, you packed a bag before Diluc got home from the tavern and left for Liyue. You would fight the Cryo Regisvine and bring back Diluc a hoarfrost core. He would see your heroic nature and forget all about Lumine - they all would.

***

When Diluc came home that night to find your absence, he began to worry. You were never one to leave without saying anything so Diluc rushed to the Knight’s Headquarters quickly. He was fortunate that Jean and Kaeya were still there finalizing some paperwork.

“Master Diluc?” Jean asked, rising from her desk as Diluc rushed inside her office. “Is everything alright?”

“Y/N is missing,” He said quickly.

“Missing? Are you sure?”

“Yes! They never go anywhere without telling me,” Diluc continued. He noticed Kaeya avert his gaze and snapped his eyes over to his brother, “Kaeya, what do you know?”

“I may have told them to do something heroic to win you back,” Kaeya said, realizing his idea may not have been the best.

Diluc’s eyes widened, “Win me back?”

Kaeya sighed and explained what was going on with you. Diluc’s heart dropped into his stomach and he couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. He should have been praising you, not Lumine. “They mentioned something about the Cryo Regisvine-”

Diluc didn’t let Kaeya speak another word before he took off. You couldn’t have gotten that far and when Diluc noticed the darkening weather, his feet picked up their pace.

***

A fierce gust of wind made you cover your face with your arms. Out of nowhere, it started pouring rain but you wouldn’t let that stop you. You pushed through the impending storm and made your way down into the cave where the ice monster lived. You gripped your sword tightly as the monster sensed your presence and unraveled, turning the downcoming rain into shards of ice that landed on your skin like needles.

Without much delay, you charged the Cryo Regisvine and landed three hits on its corolla before one of its leafy arms wacked into you, sending you hurdling backwards. Your sword was knocked out of your hand and you struggled to catch your breath.

More sharp icicles pierced your skin and a spray of freezing air coated your skin. Yet, you still managed to grab your sword and stand. Your hobbled toward the monster again and when the same leafy arm came towards you, you slashed at it.

The monster let out a screech and retracted itself before slamming it’s head down towards your body. You dodged the first hit but were caught off guard when the second hit knocked you off your feet. You barely had time to roll away when it slammed it’s head down a third time.

“Y/N!”

Diluc surged forwards, grabbing your arm and forcefully pulling you to your feet. Your sword became lost from your hold and the sudden movement caused the blade to scrape down your leg before clambering to the ground again. A nasty gash was left and you seethed.

He couldn’t even think as he pulled you away from the monster. You had never seen Diluc move so fast. He didn’t let you go until you were both far enough from the cave to feel secure. Diluc’s arms wrapped around your shoulders tightly and you were too stunned to say anything.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Your mind felt foggy. You tried to open your mouth and speak but no words came out.

“Do you realize how dangerous that was?”

“I just...Lumine…”

Diluc pulled back at this and stared in your eyes. You couldn’t quite match the emotion on his face. “You’re not Lumine!”

His words cut deep and you felt tears soak your eyes. Maybe if your head was clearer and you could actually hear your thoughts, you would have realized Diluc didn’t mean it that way. But the only thing consuming your mind was that he was right. You weren’t Lumine and you would never be Lumine. “I know!” You cried out suddenly, “That’s why I have to go and kill that thing! So I can give you a hoarfrost core and you’ll love me again!”

Diluc only looked at you. His hands ran down from your shoulders to your hands and he brought your left hand to his lips. You heard him sigh before kissing your knuckle gently.

Your wet hair was dripping water down your face in freezing cold droplets. At that moment you felt useless. You weren’t able to fight the Cryo Regisvine and bring Diluc a hoarfrost core. He would leave you for Lumine and there was nothing you could do about it.

“You’re hurt,” Diluc said, motioning to your leg. In your desolate state, you had forgotten about the gaping wound on your leg that was pouring blood. “Come on - we’re going home.”

You were too upset to protest and let Diluc maneuver your body onto his back. You loosely wrapped your arms around his neck and relished in the warmth his vision released. You held onto Diluc like it was the last time you ever would.

The walk back to Mondstadt was silent and when you two arrived at your shared house, Diluc let you down on the couch. You could only stare at your lap.

“I’m sorry,” You finally mumbled, “Next time I’ll finish what I started.”

“There won’t be a next time,” Diluc said sternly, “No way you’re ever going there alone again.”

Your face stiffened into annoyance. “I’m the Revolutionary Knight - I can do it.”

“No, you can’t.” His words seemed cold and unusual but they were coated in concern. Diluc reached up and cupped your face with his large hands. You tried to pull away but his grip was firm, “It’s okay.”

The situation was suddenly overwhelming and far too much to deal with. The tears you had been holding back tumbled down your cheeks and your words were choked between sobs, “Lumine is so perfect and I’m not...I don’t want you to leave me...I know I’m not good enough but-”

He stopped your rambling with a kiss. “Don’t ever think you’re not good enough,” He whispered, taking you into his arms. You hid your sobs in Diluc’s chest as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. Eventually, your cries settled.

Diluc spent the rest of the night dressing your wound and laying with you in your bed. He didn’t stop comforting you until every horrible thought about yourself was gone from your mind. In the morning he would talk to you more but for now, his job was to make you feel strong again.

And it would take a while but one day you would come to realize that you were just as good as Lumine and no one could truly compare to you. Like the storm on that horrifying night, this too would pass.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #diluc x reader #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc ragnivindr x reader #genshin one shot #genshin impact oneshot #genshin self insert #genshin x you #diluc x you

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sinvulkt · 2 years ago

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Angstpril: 5. CRISIS (Tooka)

@whumpril - Alt 10 - Search and Rescue

There was a tooka in the Gruyère. A brown, scarred-filled tooka with bright blue eyes. Its presence rang familiar in the Force, but it was so muted I couldn’t trace it. I tilted my eyes, squatting down to be at the feline eye-level.

“Hello there.”

It stepped toward me. I froze, confused. It was unusual for wild animal to be so unafraid in my presence. I was loud, forceful and bright in the Force. To most non-sentient life, I stank of threat, and they were all too empressed to scatter away. To most, but not to that one.

I observed the feline. It was well groomed and fed despite the apparent scars. I would have thought it to be one of the clones pet, where it its the total absence of marking. No collar sat on the tooka neck, and the fur was unmatted in a way that told there had never been one. No object or tattoo marking the animal as part of the vod colored the brown fur either. It was likely wild.

It stopped at my feet, mewing.

"Now, who might you be?"

I held a hand towards the strangely friendly tooka, trying to pet it. The next moment, a sharp pain pierced my hand. I retracted it, wincing at the scratch the skin now sported. “Ouch,” I glared at it. It didn’t even seem sorry for hurting me. It just circled me, relentlessly meowing and growling, its fur bristled all over. It was so calm a minute ago, what made it so angry now?

“Well. I guess it means we won’t be friends,” I sighed.

Not that I wasn’t used to animals attacking me after I cornered them. But it seemed like even the most friendly of tookas disliked my presence. I turned to leave, knowing crowding it more wouldn’t help. Hopefully, a clone would soon pass by this wall and notice it. They’d be more suitable to take care of the feline.

A few steps later, the feeling of someone following me bristled my feathers, and I glanced behind, curious. The tooka stared back, its gaze much calmer than before.

I stopped. It stopped.

I scowled at the blue eyed creature.

“You should decide. Are you friendly, or not?”

It meowed, as if answering my question, but didn’t otherwise move.

“I don’t speak cat,” I sighed. When I spun towards the next hall, it tensed, ready to follow again. Well if the tooka wanted to come… who was I to deny it? I took a few more steps, waiting for it to follow again, before doing a backward salto.

I landed with my hands on it, catching it by surprise. It tried to claw and bite at first, but soon calmed down when I kept my hold tight, stopping its escape. I stood back up, and it hauntingly settled in my arms.

“Now, there.” I looked at the ungrateful feline responsible for the aching pulse now irritating my arms. “Just bite if it gets uncomfortable, I guess.”

I spread my wings and took off with a jump.

The halls in this part of the ship were extremely wide- wide enough I could fly in them. It was far from standard: I had visited other battalion ships, and their halls were mostly narrow, prioritising the save of space. Every time I accused Aheka of having specially ordered this wide architecture so I could fly in-ship however, she denied it.

The truth was, I would have never been able to bear the long hours spent in hyperspace had I not have this space to stretch my wings. I looked at the tooka. Once again, I was overwhelmed by how familiar its presence was. Had we met before? But I would have remembered such a friendly feline.

Perhaps I had dream-traveled in its mind in the past.

Or perhaps its color reminded me so much of Rema I simply associated it too much with my Flock-sister.

“You look just like someone I know,” I told the tooka, petting the soft fur. It mewed in protest, sharp fangs flashing in the artificial light. “Just as grumpy too,” I chuckled.

I soon arrived in front of Rema’s room. She had closed herself in it a few hours ago, after declaring she wanted to work on the last Sith Artifact we found, away from dangerous grabby hands. Honestly, I had accidentally triggered the artifact one time. In the last month. But still!

The door was left jarred open. I frowned. Had she left?

“Rema?” I called. The tooka in my arm mewed, but otherwise no one answered. I cautiously entered. Was she taking a nap?

“Rema?” I called again louder, this time. "I want to show you something!"

Not a peep echoed. Not even the feline in my arms answered this time, opting to stare at me as if I was the dumb one. I glared back at it. I wasn’t the one who got lost in a ship traveling in hyperspace.

I stepped in. A soft light filled the room, the artificial sunlight having been left on. The desk was in disarray, papers scattered all over. A shudder shook my spine. It was as if Rema had vanished.

The tooka took advantage of my relaxed hold and graciously jumped onto the desk.

“Oh no you don’t,” I warned.

I scrambled after it, wincing when one of my wings knocked a finely structured stone out of its shelf. “Rema is going to kill me…” I mumbled.

I caught the tooka just as it reached a pen left behind on some important report. A few more papers flew away from the desk as the tooka struggled. Hopefully they weren’t the very very important ones, I thought as one was almost ripped in two by the sharp claws. Worse case, I reasoned, I could always claim without lying I wasn’t the culprit. The tooka did it, I told my scowling inner-Rema.

A few more struggles later, I finally succeeded in lifting the reluctant feline from the desk. I sported surprisingly few injuries, for the true damage I knew the sharp fangs and claws could do. It hissed at me as I left the room.

I ignored it, keeping a tight hold on it so it wouldn’t escape. The cat didn’t know what it risked. I was saving both of our lives.from a very angry clone.

“We disturbed Rema’s room enough for today,” I told it. “Let’s go.”

I hadn’t expected it to understand me, and was just hoping my voice would sooth it, but it calmed down and settled back against my chest. A fond smile curled my lips upward. Pat would have to be cautious if he didn't want his ‘cutest member of the Milk Battalion’ title to get stolen.

I was wandering in the halls, wondering what to do with the grumpy feline in my arms, when a bunch of fiery fur caught my eyes. Speak of the devil… I sped up.

"Pat! Look what I found!"

I held out my arms, wings excitedly spread, only to notice my hands were empty. When did the tooka slither off?

“You found… air?” Pat said confused.

“No, a tooka,” I answered, looking around for a spot of chestnut fur. “A brown, blue eyed tooka.” Sadly, the only feline in sight was my Padawan. I turned back towards him. “You wouldn’t have seen it per chance?”

"No…” Pat's eyes suddenly went wide. “Master… is there a wild tooka loose in the ship right now?"

“Maybe?”

“Master—”

“It’s fine~" I sing-songed. Allegedly, Pat’s fear was valid: last time I brought an animal onboard, the damage had been such we ended up stuck on planet for two weeks. How could I have known the big pterodactyl would take offense from the lights in the engine room? I wasn’t a brezak tamer.

"I’m calling Blue Milk," Pat deadpanned.

It would be fine… probably. There was already a tooka loose on the ship before I found it anyway. Plus, I still needed to check about Rema’s disappearance. Which meant I was very occupied, and couldn’t hear anyone’s lecturing. Beside for once, I hadn’t been the one to bring the tooka in the ship.

And perhaps tell someone Rema was gone. One day.

I left Pat chatting with Blue Milk, confirming my very busy schedule.

#angstpril2023 #starwars #fanfiction #day5 #crisis #whumpril2023 #whumprilalt10 #alt10 #search and rescue #star wars #fanfic #star wars fanfiction #sinvulkt fics #the amazing adventures of excentrics jedi #taaoej

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licuadora-nasir · 4 years ago

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hiii, i loved your last fanfic with lance <333 could you write headcanons of ezarel seeing gardy again and how he would fall in love again with her?? i love your writing

Hi there! This was such a special ask for me 🥺. I was Ezarel's route in origins, and I nearly cried for two weeks after episode 30 cause I knew he wasn't returning.

Also, I saw the other ask and thank u so much for wishing me a good time on my vacation! I even got tanned, though I got a lot of freckles too 😑.

Aaaanyway, I'm already working on the rest of the requests! But I have like... Seven? 🤣 So it may take me a while.

This turned out to be more oriented to Ez's returning, but I hope you enjoy it!

Ezarel's return hc under the cut

Knowing that Erika awoke was... Pretty tough for Ezarel.

He's a very independent person who has endured loneliness and being closed-up over the years. Losing Erika like that was a hard hit on his life.

Her presence changed him forever after all.

The last time he saw her, he spoke to her, was on the battlefield, where both of them were facing death. The last glance she gave to him before ridding (no perv thoughts on this, I'm seeing y'all) Valkyon was the only goodbye he could get.

Everything was emptiness and loneliness after that.

So, when Twylda came in a rush to tell Ezarel that Erika had awoken... He was genuinely astonished.

He never paid too much attention to the new occurrences that may or may not happen in the HQ. Since he spent most of the time locked up in his cottage making concoctions or any other remedy that he was requested, Marie-Anne and Twylda were the ones who occasionally told them about the doings of the Guard.

He was hesitant at first. After years of grieve, he had had to learn to move on. To let the memory of his lover go.

He was mentalized that she would never come back.

He didn't do anything immediately. Taking a seat to avoid falling backwards out of shock, Ezarel considered the situation: Seeing her again could be far too painful. After trying to rebuild his life, go back to the same point was unthinkable. He couldn't didn't want to feel so desperate again because of the loss of a loved one.

But in the end, his fondness for her won the inner battle. Before being his lover, Erika had been his friend and a cherished person by all the HQ. She deserved at least a greeting after 7 years.

He decided to go on a small trip and visit their remaining friends in the HQ. Ez didn't pass by since he delegated his title as chief of the absent guard and Nevra had asked too many times to come to visit them, so her awakening was a good excuse for him to do all the liabilities he had been postponing.

After crossing those huge doors, being greeted by some old members and hug-crushed by Jamon, the first thing he did was looking for Nevra.

"Long time no see, ugly face" The look on the vampire's face was pure shock. With a shit-eating grin, the former member of the light guard rushed to greet and embrace his old friend.

They had a shortened conversation due to the new up-calling duties of the vampire but promised to catch up later. Before the vampire was gone again, he finally dared ask where was Erika.

"I think she's training on the gardens right now. Possibly with Lance and a new human called Mathieu that arrived a year ago."

He despised the sound of the name of the man who stabbed him and killed one of his best friends.

Ezarel understood the advantages and the good asset that Lance was for the guard (after all, before the dragon became Ashkore, Valkyon and both of them used to fight together and had good times joking and fooling around a bit), but the risks were too high. He couldn't forgive him for taking both his friend and his lover away from him.

He could have sworn that his heart almost ripped off his chest when he spotted her.

She looked stunning, marvelling, alive.

Dropping his bag on the floor, he muttered her name, patiently waiting for her to notice his presence.

The commotion plastered her features the moment she saw him.

Fused in a tight embrace, she practically clung to his clothes, the elf stroking her hair, trying to keep his cool and avoiding being carried away by the moment.

"I missed you."

Erika couldn't say much as her sobs were strangled on her throat.

After that fussed greeting, Lance and Mathieu called it a day and the Elf and Erika decided to have a long, deep conversation.

Whatever that'd been between them before her sacrifice... Was broken now. And trying to re-build it would take time and effort.

What was supposed to be a trip turned into a life-changing event.

With Huang Hua's offer, Ezarel agreed to work for the Guard of Eel again.

But this time, he specified that he didn't want to take any responsibilities, he didn't want to make the sort of choices that he would regret in the future. The kind that would hurt and damage his bond with Erika as he did in the past.

So this time, although still being part of the absence guard, he chose to assist in the infirmary's department.

Even though Eweleïn and Ez had had their story, now they were on good terms, and she always had been a good company that he enjoyed.

Being one of the most capable nurses alongside Ewe made his presence necessary in many trips (a very pleasant privilege, since he had always been very fond of travelling) and granted him much more free time.

Free time that he would always try to spend on Erika.

Because this time, it was different. He wasn't the chief of the absent guard. He didn't carry a great responsibility on his shoulders. He wasn't part of the light guard nor he was running from Lund'Mulhingar's tropes and hiding in the HQ.

He was free, and he chose to work in The Guard again in other to remain at Erika's side.

At the side of the only woman he deeply fell for.

Listening to her, taking care of her, loving her and being there for her. Because bad things were coming, and Ezarel did not doubt that all of her strength would be needed again.

Do you have any requests? Feel free to stop by my ask box! But first, please read this.

#eldarya #eldarya a new era #eldarya the origins #eldarya ane #eldarya to #eldarya ezarel #ezarel eldarya #ezarel #eldarya hc #eldarya headcanons #request #my writing

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rk1kheadcanons · 4 years ago

Note

i hope all of the admins are doing well :) i'm a sucker for angst (with a happy ending) so my prompt is that, anything that comes to mind feel free to about it! a heated argument, close call with death, a misunderstanding – as long as markus and connor feel all of those angsty emotions and resolve them, that's my jam!

Oh hello! 🥰

Thank you for the well wishes, I myself am doing wonderfully thank you!

Let's go with "close call with death" since I have a little angsty snippet for that one that's been rattling around in my head for a while now:

Markus stared down wide-eyed at where the pale grey of his suit had only eighteen hours ago been soaked in blue. The vibrant colour had since evaporated off, but Connor would still have been able to see it...

The RK900 standing in as Markus' bodyguard in Connor's absence could still see it too if the careful avoidance of her gaze towards Markus was anything to go by. He'd been advised numerous times by words spoken under concerned gazes to go home and change but he couldn't bring himself to leave him alone like this...

Markus' HUD glitched when he let his mind wander back over the past eighteen hours. His vision suddenly filled with the image of liquid blue exploding out of the back of his lovers head as his tactile sensors involuntarily re-registered the hot feel of blood painting his face and running down his neck. Auxiliary security had tried to forcefully drag Markus away from Connor after the bullets had started flying but he had held on tight. Dragging the limp form with them off of the stage and into an armored car.

And the sound. Ra9 he would never forget that sound.

Connors usually sharp tongue reduced to nothing but bursts of static and high-pitched feedback loops. His gaze unfocused as his limbs spasmed weakly and his central processor approached shutdown. Markus had cradled him in his arms as the car sped off, ignoring the heavy flow of thirium soaking into his suit and drenching him. Amongst his pleas to the RK800 to stay with me, don't go, don't leave me please don't leave me, he almost missed the single white hand that Connor was lifting weakly towards his own, blinking dimly with blue light.

He latched onto it with force the second his attention was drawn to it. Opening up an interface disturbingly absent of Connor's usual ferocity. Interfacing with an RK800 was normally like being dropped headfirst into the ocean but now his presence felt like barely a trickle of existence...

He received one automated message from Connors systems before the countdown timer on his HUD reached zero:

UPLOADING MEMORY//:

And that was how Markus found himself deep in a basement level of Cyberlife tower, floor -45; The research and development sector of the RK lines. Somewhere between the grief and the panic and the fear, he had managed to relay the final message of Connors systems to their security team and they had been swiftly transported in a motor blockade towards the android-occupied tower. A team of the few remaining RK800s in existence had quickly snatched Connor from Markus' arms at the entrance and spirited him away to do...well Markus wasn't sure what exactly, he was uncharacteristically absent of questions at that moment.

There had been one on his lips, however, the one that was taking up space in all corners of all his processors;

"Will he still be himself?"

The RK800s had looked to one another with swirling LEDs before fifty-nine responded with the non-answer of

"None of us have ever attempted a transfer as deviants."

He had been brought to a room after that, a large white sterile space that housed a glass-plated black cube in the center which was covered in flickering LED lights; The RK800 main-server. In any other scenario he would have been fascinated to see it, the machine that connected Connor to all RK800s while his body kept him an autonomous individual...but right now his attention was focused tunnel-vision like on the two beds off to the side, one with his Connor laid broken and lifeless and the other with RK800-63, as new and as lifelike as a doll.

He stood between them for a moment, casting his gaze this way and that before slowly settling himself in a chair between the two of them and raising a plasteel white hand towards each figure. He stayed like that as he waited. As the eight hours the 800s said it would take for the transfer to complete turned into eighteen. Hand in hand with a corpse and a shell.

It wasn't until the twentieth hour that the multitude of flickering loading bars on the digital monitor finally circled to blue with an alert chime. After a short moment of deliberation where his head whipped back and forth rapidly, Markus reluctantly let go of Connor-52s -his Connors - hand and brought both over to grasp onto Connor-63s. The tension in the air was thick enough to make the room feel liquid as the seconds ticked by with no sign of stirring from the figure on the table.

When the LED on the android's forehead finally circled blue with a blink Markus' artificial breath hitched and he was dimly aware of the RK900 at the door taking a small step forward in involuntary anticipation. One minute went by, and then another, and then ten more until suddenly the eyes of the prone form snapped open and circled around the room frantically.

Markus' chair fell backward behind him as he jumped to his feet to lean over the RK800 who's eyes were flickering rapidly over the white tiled ceiling with an expression of fear.

"Connor? Can you hear me?"

At the sound of Markus' voice, the RK800's eyes snapped suddenly to his own in sharp focus and the expression of terror on the androids face quickly shifted into flat browed determination. Connor lunged off of the bed in one fluid motion, disconnecting the data cable at the base of his neck with a pop and pushing Markus to the ground.

The RK200 fell backwards hard, cracking his head against the side of the other bed in the process. As Connor landed on top of him, pressing his body into the ground and holding his head down with a firm palm to the side of his face, Markus felt a flash of some emotion that landed between horror and peace at the thought that perhaps Connor had been rebound to his pre-deviant programming during the transfer and was about to follow through with Cyberlifes last order to eradicate the deviant leaders. His fear, however, was cut short by the first words out of the RK800s mouth.

"Active shooter! Why are you just standing there?! Find the source and cover us!"

Markus managed to make eye contact with his stand-in bodyguard from where he lay on the floor and the look in the RK900s eyes said that she too had all at once understood what was happening. He contacted her wirelessly before she had the chance to drag Connor off of him, instructing her to not interfere lest she distress the RK800 even more.

"Connor-"

"Stay down!"

The hand pressing Markus head onto the ground tightened and he made no move to try and dislodge it. Connor continued to bark orders at the android in the doorway while attempting to shield Markus' body from an imaginary shooter.

"Connor-"

"We need to get off the stage, when I give the command stay low and move with me towards the stairs- towards..."

The younger android's voice trailed off as his eyes flicked around the room in search of a staircase that didn't exist. He seemed to be taking in the room like he was seeing it for the first time before his jaw dropped and a choked gasp escaped his lips as his gaze settled wide-eyed on Markus' suit. All at once, the pressure on Markus' face released and Connor's hands flew to the back of his own head and he scrambled backward with panic written clearly across his features.

"Connor, listen to me, you're alright..."

The RK200 spoke softly even as the other android continued to press himself into the corner between the bed and the wall, running his hands through the hair on the back of his head before bringing them in front of his face, looking for blood.

"What-"

Connor cut himself off as his eyes drifted towards the bed adjacent to him and rose upwards to fixate on the lifeless, wire-covered figure that rested upon it.

"No-"

"Connor it's gonna be alright, just look at me-"

Markus followed the RK800 as he jumped to his feet and stumbled towards his own corpse, leaning heavily on the bed rail and staring slack-jawed at the bullet wound that had left a perfectly circular hole where his LED used to be. The older android placed his hands gently over his partner's shoulders, keeping the touch light as Connor flinched at the initial contact before resting them fully upon him with a grounding weight.

"I died..."

He spoke in a monotone while reaching out a hesitant hand to trace over the sharp edge of plastic that the bullet had left in its wake.

"Yes." Markus replied simply, as his hands massaged Connors shoulders "But now you're back."

The RK800 tensed at the words.

"Am I though? Back when- before I broke my programming- when I was transferred it felt like- it was like starting all over again. I didn't feel the same. I wasn't me. I shouldn't be me I'm not-"

He trailed off and focused his gaze on the middle distance. Markus hesitated before answering. Connors worries had been the same ones that he himself had been agonising over during the hours he had sat at his bedside swinging between hope, despair, and numbness. Given Connor's reaction to waking up however Markus had little doubts anymore as to whether or not the android in front of him was his Connor.

"Do you think your first reaction upon waking up would be to try and save me if you had been reset?"

Now it was Connors turn to hesitate and Markus began gently massaging where his hands rested upon his shoulders.

"I don't know, I was programmed for this sort of work so..."

Markus has never heard Connors tone sound so unconvincing and uncertain before.

"Well do you feel like yourself?"

Connor stepped back abruptly from the bed at the question, dislodging Makrus' hands in the process and swinging his own in a wide, frantic arc in front of him.

"I don't know! How am I supposed to know!?"

His breath was hitching faster and faster as he ran the question through his processors.

"Yes." He suddenly stated firmly "Wait, no." He continued with just as much certainty

"I don't know! No I'm not me. I'm 52 im- that" He pointed to the dead android on the table "Is me. My HUD says 63. I'm 63, that is 52, that is not me. But- fuck!!"

Markus raised his hands in a calming gesture and tried to get Connor to slow down but the other android continued ranting, swinging back and forth in his assessment of whether he was or was not the same Connor as before with an increasing level of panic. It wasn't until the RK800 lashed out with a kick at the bed housing his previous body that Markus interjected with more force.

"Connor! listen to me!" He raised his voice while capturing the younger android by the biceps and turning him so they could look eye to eye.

"You said before that when you came back the feelings you had developed in your previous body were erased yeah? Like being a whole new person." Connor's face began to crumple at Markus' words and he had to continue quickly before the RK800 began to spiral even faster down his rabbithole of existential dread. "No no, let me finish. I want you to stop focusing on what it was like before for a moment and tell me what it feels like now."

A beat of silence passed where Connor stared glassy-eyed at a spot just over Markus' shoulder obviously at a loss of how to follow through on examining his feelings in his current state of panic. The elder android decided to continue prompting him.

"Try not to think too much about your feelings towards yourself. What about your feelings towards others. North, Josh, Echo, Hank. Have those changed? Do they seem different? Do you still care for them?"

Connors gaze was still focused into the middle distance past Markus head, coincidentally in the direction of his stand-in bodyguard who awkwardly shifted herself a few feet to the right to avoid his staring. His brow, however, was finally beginning to arch back into its softer default position and away from the worried furrow it had been set in before.

"And...what about me? You still love me right?"

All of a sudden Connor's pensive moment was brought to an end as his focus snapped to Markus with an almost offended expression. His mouth opened a fraction with the characteristic sharp intake of breath that usually indicated that Connor was about to absolutely go off about something and Markus could already feel his own face relax into a small smile at how very Connor the reaction was.

The rant never came however as the android all at once lit up in realization with a small "Oh." Followed by a large "OH!"

Before Markus could get another word in he was all of a sudden met with an armful of RK800 squeezing him around the middle with enough force to cause his chassis to creak and he returned the embrace with just as much strength. Finally, he allowed the emotions from the past day to overflow into a sob hidden somewhere in Connor's hairline and the younger android held him even tighter as the noise reached him.

"Markus I...Markus. Of course I do, of course i still love you. Its me, I'm me. I'm sorry I just panicked. I'm still panicking but I'm me, I promise I'm me. Your're right"

Markus just held the slighter form as he continued to ramble reassurances.

"I thought I lost you. I did lose you" He choked out between shaking gasps.

"But I'm back now. I'm okay, you're okay, we're both okay"

The RK200 was pretty sure they were both crying now as their words of reassurance lapsed into quiet sniffles and the soft sound of hands sweeping over fabric as they brushed across the expanse of each other's clothing as if to confirm that yes, the other was real, and alive and safe.

Neither was sure how long had passed before their silent embrace was interrupted by an awkward cough and the words "I'll inform the other 800's of Connors status, they'll want to run tests" as the RK900 slipped quietly out of the room. Honestly Markus had forgotten she had been there, he sent her a wireless message in thanks and received nothing in return.

When left alone they deepened their embrace, savoring the moment of privacy and peace together before Connor had to undergo whatever barrage of tests the 800s had prepared for him. Their hands connected by their sides, palm to palm with glowing blue lights dancing across their fingertips, basking in each others presence and smoothing over the pain and guilt and confusion and terror of the last twenty-four hours with happiness, relief, devotion, and love.

I am alive.

You are alive.

We are alive.

Come tell us your own ideas! Prompts are always open

#thank you go the angst prompt #gratuitous sprinklings of some of my headcanons here #connork1000 reply #rk1k #dbh #rk1000 #connor whump #poor markus

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iceeckos12 · 4 years ago

Text

and he sees dawn before the rest of the world

or: a fucked up little au of 200. intended to be unsettling so just be warned warnings for: unreality (i think that’s the appropriate term? please lmk if not), implied self harm, fucked up relationship dynamics; lmk if i should tag anything else

Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!

“Ugh, five more minutes,” Martin hissed, throwing an arm across his face, as though he could stop the barrage of sound just by covering his eyes. His alarm was unsympathetic to his whinging, continuing to scream its daily mourning dirge, grieving the end of another period of blessed rest. “Fine, fine! I’m getting up, christ…”

He reached clumsily for the phone on his bedside table, only for his fingers to scrabble uselessly around the ghost of its presence. He was momentarily so stymied by the absence that it took him longer than it should’ve to remember that he’d moved it to his desk, to prevent him from giving into the temptation to hit the snooze button just one more time.

Letting out another slew of curses, Martin shuffled onto his other side and reached for

A jaw-cracking yawn near split Martin’s face in two as he hunched over the gleaming tea kettle, steam beginning to pour from the spout. He shuffled his feet, eyes meandering sightlessly over the cow-shaped mug drying on the counter, the cluster of crumbs that he must’ve missed when cleaning up after dinner last night.

He hated mornings. Maybe it was the preemptive dread he felt at the thought of going to work; maybe it was because he hated having to be upright this early in the morning. Either way, he felt strangely disconnected from his morning routine, each motion carried out with habitual, distant efficiency as his thoughts raced along like a hamster on a wheel just below the surface.

It...was a bit silly for him to be worried about work, though. The stuff he was doing was interesting, and he had the loveliest coworkers a guy could ask for. They’d even offered to teach him a thing or two about artifact restoration once they learned the truth about his CV.

He drew himself up to his full height and rolled his shoulders back, clouded sigh mingling with the fog from the boiling water. Things were going well. Hell, he was actually going to get top surgery sometime in the next year or so, which was amazing considering his teenage self would’ve laughed at the very idea of being out.

There was no reason to dread going to work.

Martin carefully poured the water into the mug, letting the tea steep before adding a splash of milk and sugar. When he picked the mug up, the heat from the tea had bled into the ceramic, so warm as to be uncomfortable against the delicate skin of his palms. He didn’t let go, just kept on gripping the mug, like trying to contain the last gasp of a dying star.

Martin stared around his kitchen. The waterstains on the inside of the cow mug slowly evaporating into the still air; the crumbs that had sat there for who knows how long. The empty, blank face of his fridge.

Martin lifted the mug, and steam collected on his glasses as his breath wafted over the surface of the tea. He drew away, waiting for the lenses to clear, before leaning in for another sip.

His reflection stared back at him, a monochrome facsimile of his face rimmed in white smoke, and he recoiled, the mug slipping from

Working nine to five, what a way to make a living…

Martin stared out the window, his hand pillowed in the palm of his hand as Dolly Parton crooned in his ears. Split second by split second, he let his eyes catch on a point in the darkened surroundings, only letting his vision blur into incoherence when that fixed point whipped out of sight. It was a game he sometimes played when he got bored of reading or playing cards on his phone.

The old woman across from him let out a quiet grunt and shuffled, drawing his attention back inside the train. She was a gnarled old thing, bowed by the gravity of grief and time and life, though Martin couldn’t say for certain whether it was one well-lived.

Barely getting by, it’s all taking and no giving...

That was the thing about people watching: Martin was never quite sure if it was disrespectful to make assumptions about a person’s life based on a passing glimpse. He could never be sure if the person with the grumpy expression had a foul attitude, or if they were just a kind person on the tail-end of a truly awful day.

The old woman was knitting though, and Martin generally found it safe to assume that knitters were nice people.

For a moment he thought about taking out his headphones and striking up a conversation; the pattern looked devilishly complicated, and as a beginning knitter, he always appreciated tips. There was an unfinished set of fingerless green gloves in the back of his closet; it was easy for hands to get cold in the Archives, and the color suited

“Alright, Martin?”

Martin startled, his pen clattering to the floor. He looked up to find Sasha perched on the edge of his desk, grinning like the cat who’d just eaten the canary. Or, he thought she was. His eyes kept skittering from one corner of her face to the other, like a smooth stone skipping across a lake.

“Uh…” Frowning slightly, he let his gaze travel over the shelves of books, the humming lights, his cluttered workstation. He removed his glasses so he could rub at his aching eyes, and let out a deep sigh. Probably just the stress. “Yeah—yeah! Sorry, I’ve been distracted all morning.”

Martin got the impression of Sasha’s grin being tempered with genuine concern. “I’m sorry to hear that. Is everything okay?”

“I think so. Just...work, and my mum…” he gave an expansive you know sort of gesture at life in general. “Thank god the weekend’s coming. Anyway, is there something I can help you with?”

“Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to come get drinks with Mel and Tim and I after work, but…” She cut him a meaningful glance, the bottomless holes where her eyes should be boring bright spotlights into the back of his skull. “We’d understand if you’re not feeling up to it.”

“Is Georgie coming?”

Sasha shrugged. “Probably. Mel didn’t say so, but they’ve been all over each other since they started dating.”

Martin laughed. “True.” Tried to gauge how he was feeling, whether or not he was up to a night of socializing. You should go, a strangely posh little voice murmured in the back of his head, and he found himself saying, “Actually yeah, I would like to come. I could use a night out.”

Sasha clapped him on the shoulder, and the impact rattled through him like a gong being struck. The echoes of it vibrated all the way down to his toes. “Excellent.”

Martin hesitated, and then, not entirely sure of what he was asking, “What about J

“Thanks for waiting with us,” Georgie said, smiling beatifically up at him. Passed out on her shoulder, Melanie let out a drunken snuffle and curled over, like she was thinking of climbing through the spaces of Georgie’s ribcage and sleeping in her chest cavity forever.

“Not a problem,” Martin replied, scratching the back of his neck.

To be honest, waiting with her was as much for his benefit as theirs. At first, he’d thought it was just stress; now, he was very sure that something was wrong. It wasn’t anything specific, or even bad; more like there was a sepia camera filter tinting the world dusty and nostalgic.

After his third drink, he’d looked into Tim’s laughing face and thought he might burst into tears. And he still didn’t know what Sasha was supposed to look like.

But he didn’t want to worry her, so he just bit his lip and rocked back and forth on his heels, even though the motion made his head spin that much worse.

(Maybe he needed to take a couple of days off. Have a lie-in. But that would—that would delay his work. The Institute’s work. Delays were bad; he felt strongly enough about that to carve it directly into his skin so that he’d never forget. He could roll down his sleeve and take a peek at it whenever his motivation slipped, like checking a watch for the time.)

For lack of anything else to say, he nodded toward Melanie. “She’s really out, huh?”

“She’s always been a lightweight.” Her tone was wry, but her eyes were soft and fond as she brushed Melanie’s bangs back from her face. “Never gets hungover though, the lucky bastard.”

“The nerve!” Martin said, affecting offense, which sent them right into another giggling fit.

Once he got his breath back, Martin mentioned offhand, “You know, considering how similar they are, I’m surprised that her and J̷̧̱̜͕͕̤͉̣̺̺̝͖̠̹̜͙̣͉̩̺̤̟͉͓̞̹̗́̆̂̋͆̊̎́͂̑͋̌͊͘̚͠ͅo̶̧̨͕̖͔̬̖̝̪͚̻̟̠̜̣̰̅n̶̥̉́̎͑̀͂͆̿̾͛̾̔̐͌́̅̂͂̒̆̐́͊̄̾̍̅̅͝

“Stop it!” Martin screamed, grabbing the mug from the counter and throwing it across the room. It shattered against the wall, scattering shards of ceramic across the floor. “I know

“What you’re doing,” Martin gripped the bathroom counter, ignoring the persistent ringing of his alarm, staring deeply into his reflection, “Stop it, stop it, nononon̴̡̡͚̮̠͙̻͔͎͈̜̓̈́̈́͜͜ͅǫ̸̯̠̱̖̲͙͍͎͒̇̑͒ṅ̶̨̩̳̩̝̹̳͎͈̬̦͆́̈́́͐̏̈́̕͝͝o̸̡̻̱̗̥̮̙̳̞͗̄͋̈́̀͝n̸̢̛̟͙̘̱̩͕̦̫̤̮͆͑̊͋́̂̽͜o̶̘̱̗̘̘͑̿͜ņ̶̥̞̠͕͓̠͔͚̮͈̬͕̀͗̄̓͑͑͛̕ͅő̸̮̫̓͌̾̌͋́̂̏̒̃̃̄̚n̵̗̫͕̺̻͔̭͖̉͒͗̀̈́̃̅o̴͓͉͉͗͋̎̕—”

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m sorry, it’s okay—”

“No!” Martin shrieked, shoving Jon’s hands away, skittering backward across the broken and cracked stones of the Panopticon. Through the arched windows, the sky was a poisonous green and black, and multitudes of eyes orbited the room, watched his every movement with sickening fascination. “Just—stop.”

Luminous gaze weary and resigned, Jon did as he was bid, dropping back onto his heels.

Rubbing sweat and grime and tears from his face, breathing harshly through his mouth, Martin took a moment to remember where he was, why he was here. It always took a moment for everything to come back.

As though unable to keep silent any longer, Jon asked, “So what was it this time?”

“Don’t,” Martin hissed, dragging his hands through his greasy hair.

Though his expression went mulishly annoyed, Jon raised his hands placatingly, a silent, alright, you win. It was a familiar gesture, one that he’d done so many times while they were living in Scotland, while they were traveling the devastated landscape of the apocalypse. It made Martin ache for when things were simpler, when his heart didn’t just feel like one big bruise.

He gently set the thought aside, and turned a more assessing eye on the Panopticon. Normally the changes were insignificant, but something thick and red and black had started to coil around the windows, weaving in and out of the floor, cracking the stonework. Martin traced the strange things with his eyes, frowning—

“Christ, Jon,” he whispered in horrified realization. “Are...are those corpse roots?”

Jon bobbed his head. “They’ve long since overtaken the rest of London. It’s just us, now.”

Martin sucked in a long, frustrated breath through his teeth. There was no point trying to talk any sense into Jon, not after so long, and force would only result in immediately getting kicked back into that horrible dream world.

“And the others?”

Jon shrugged, tracing the cracks in the earth with his fingers. “Still alive, and living happily in the dream I made for them.” He didn’t say, unlike you, but the implication was so loud he might as well have screamed it.

“Shut up,” Martin muttered, pushing to his feet and limping to one of the windows.

Corpse roots, as far as the eye could see. They covered the city of London in a blanket of tangled black, so thick that it was impossible to see the buildings beneath.

“Was it worth it?” he asked, sagging against the side of the window, too tired to be angry.

When the silence persisted a second too long, Martin turned around to find Jon with his head tilted back, examining the corpse roots consuming what had once been the Beholding’s seat of power, expression distant and thoughtful. The eyes, ever-watching, never understanding, drifted closer, greedily drinking in the sight.

When Martin realized that Jon wasn’t planning on answering, he let out another sigh, ruffled his bangs away from his face, and said, “You’re never there.”

Jon’s gaze snapped to him with a laser-edged focus. “Sorry?”

“If you’re going to trap me in a dream,” Martin said, each syllable clipped and precise, “You could at least be there.”

Like it always did, Jon’s face crumpled, and he looked away. “...I don’t deserve it.”

“Oh, we’re well past that and you know it!” Martin shrieked, striking his fist against the stone. “You made your fucking decision to damn the world, to hell with whatever we thought, the least you could do is stop hiding behind your pointless guilt and act like this is what you actually want!”

It would’ve been better, if Jon had simply become drunk with power and was no longer listening to reason. The fact that he’d made this same decision every single day with clear, unclouded eyes and sound judgement—as Jon the human, rather than Jon the lynchpin of the apocalypse, pupil of the Eye—made Martin want to scream.

“I do want it!” Jon snapped back, then quieter, “I do.” He looked up at the corpse roots again, eyes going misty. “I just—I should witness every second of misery and pain that I’m causing. I don’t deserve to just...forget.”

Wind snapped and howled around them like a creature mad with rage, and Martin idly wondered what would happen to this world once Jon died. If it would all go back to the way it had been before, or if the shell of the apocalypse would remain until the end of time, a corpse husk of a reality warped beyond repair.

“You shouldn’t have to experience this alongside me though,” Jon continued, rallying. “So I would really appreciate it if you’d stop breaking your dreams.”

“Tough,” Martin snapped back, folding his arms obstinately over his chest.

“You could be happy!” Jon reiterated, stabbing his index finger into the palm of his hand. “You could just...live your life! Forget! There’s no point in being here.”

“It’s a deal, remember? Where you go, I go. Fuck you very much, but I don’t break my promises.”

Jon stared at him for one beat, then another—and then promptly burst out laughing, his whole body shaking with the force of it. Martin stared at him, utterly bewildered, as the laughing slowly began to dissolve into desperate, heaving sobs, as he began rocking back and forth, arms wrapped around himself in a mockery of comfort.

“I miss you,” Jon gasped out, half-crazed. “So much. I miss you every day even though you’re right in front of me. But I can’t go to you, because I don’t deserve to, not when I’m the one who trapped you here. I’m everything that’s wrong with the world. I always have been.”

“Jon,” Martin sighed, low and tired.

Jon buried his face into his knees. “No, you shouldn’t—you shouldn’t forgive me just because you pity me, that’s not what I—I don’t—”

“Who said anything about forgiveness?” Martin shook his head. “Fine. You’re an asshole, and I hate you. But it’s like I said.” He gestured toward the Panopticon, the roots, the poisonous sky. “When has deserving ever mattered?”

Jon lifted his face from his knees, though his gaze stayed rooted to the floor. “...I suppose.”

“Right,” Martin agreed. “I’ve accepted that you’re not going to change your mind, but...at the very least, I don’t want to die alone. So can you please just…”

There was a long, weighted pause.

They’d had arguments like this what felt like hundreds of times before. Martin begging for Jon to change his mind, Jon refusing with that same resigned, determined expression on his face, before sending Martin back into his dreams.

Maybe it was because Martin wasn’t asking him to change his mind this time. Maybe it was because they were so close to the end of all things, and soon they’d be the last two people on earth. Maybe it was because Jon was tired, had been for so, so long, and he had won anyway, so there was no point in fighting any longer.

“Alright,” Jon whispered.

…

...

Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!

“Ugh, five more minutes,” Martin hissed, throwing an arm across his face.

Somewhere in the far distance, the toilet flushed. A moment later, a pair of feet padded lightly into the room, hesitated at the edge of the bed, and then made their way over to the desk. The alarm abruptly went silent.

Martin uncovered his eyes and grinned up at Jon as he tentatively slid back between the covers, every movement careful and deliberate, like he was reading stage directions from a script.

“Look at Mr. Workaholic, having a lie-in,” Martin teased, pulling Jon into his arms and inhaling the scent of his coconut shampoo. “Must be the end of the world, or something.”

Jon stiffened for just a moment, before turning around and burying his face into Martin’s chest. “Or something.”

#iceeckos12 writes #my writing #tma #jonmartin but make it especially tragedy flavored

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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years ago

Text

Speak Easy Part 4

Bakugo x Reader, Dabi x Reader

Words : 5206

Masterlist

Reader has a siren quirk and has spent the past several years of her life as a captive being experimented on by “heroes” Now that she’s out she needs protection and safe place to heal. Who will be the one to put her pieces back together?

Words with ‘this’ is dialogue written in her journal rather than said out loud and and words with ~this~ is dialogue said in sign language rather than out loud.

************************************************************************

Dabi’s frustration only grew when he saw your excited expression. All the sudden all he could think of was the was the way that Bakubrat had kissed the top of your head the last time he had seen you.

Dabi readjusted you so you were on his back and put his hands firmly on your thighs. He’ll admit he’s being ridiculous, but he wanted to keep you out of reach from the explosive idiot.

You were practically buzzing with excitement. You had missed your friends. Even though you had seen them a few weeks ago, it wasn’t nearly good enough, you felt like you didn’t have enough time to actually thank them for saving you. You had known all of them from high school except you had known Katsuki and Izuku much longer. You all had known each other since you were kids. Katsuki was always the one pulling your pigtails while Izuku was always the one to let you paint his fingernails.

That mentality pretty much stayed the same as you all got older. Katsuki would still relentlessly tease you but he was always much meaner to any of the guys who hit on you. There was a rumor that went around that your quirk made you super good in bed and it had every guy chasing after you for the wrong reasons. He never hesitated to hit first and ask questions later when men cat called you in his presence.

Katsuki had always had a very special place in your heart. He had always been your protector as well as your biggest supporter. There were so many times he and Izuku had talked you out of quitting school. Every so often an article would circulate about how villainous your quirk was and how you deserved to be locked up. The pressure would eventually get to you and you would end up in one of their rooms pacing and holding back tears. They helped you learn to love your quirk, but Katsuki was the one who secretly worked with you on weekends to help you get stronger. He thought if he showed you that you were more than just your quirk you would finally stop listening to all the fucking gossip blogs.

You kept bouncing with excitement the entire time Dabi walked towards the front door. He paused a few steps away and gave your thigh a sharp slap. “Hey, quit that. If you keep bouncing like that, I’m going to drop you. Behave.”

You wondered what crawled up his ass. He was just praising you a few minutes ago and now he’s grumpy. There’s no way he could be that mad about Katsuki coming to visit. He knew this was going to happen. He was holding you when Katsuki promised as much. You understood that he didn’t really get along with most people, and Katsuki was honestly kind of hard to get along with in the first place. But that still didn’t give him the right to be so pissed about him being here.

Dabi opened the door but remained in the doorway, effectively blocking Katsuki from entering. “Can we help you?”

Katsuki had a duffle bag on his shoulder as well as a box at his feet. “You could start by letting me in asshole.” He looked at you and his scowl softened just slightly, “Hey dork. Think you could convince your chauffeur to get out of the way?”

You giggled and gave Dabi’s neck a pinch. Dabi responded by giving your thigh a pinch, “Eye for an eye brat. You want me to let him in? I think I deserve an entrance fee?” He pointed towards his cheek as if he was asking for a kiss.

Katsuki’s eyes traveled from where Dabi’s hand was firmly squeezing your thigh to where he was pointing at his cheek. They were furious. He was about to just shove his was through when you wrapped your arms tight around Dabi’s neck and leaned backwards. Effectively throwing his body weight off and giving Katsuki more than enough room to enter the house.

He quickly let himself in and made his way over to the couch where he dumped the box he was holding. “Alright so here’s your first care package.”

“Don’t see why it needed to hand delivered…” Dabi dropped you on the couch next to the box so you could rummage through it.

Katsuki quickly took the empty spot next to you, totally ignoring Dabi. “I brought you a couple new manga that I know you’ll like, and I think Deku added a bunch of pictures and shit from your old apartment.” He reached over you into the box and pulled out a shirt and you grinned ear to ear. It was an old All Might shirt that you had stolen from Katsuki years ago because you liked how soft it was.

He smiled and put his arm around you, “I thought you might like that. I hope you don’t mind I’ve been wearing it in your absence. So, it might smell like me.”

Dabi walked by grabbing Katsuki’s arm and casually flung it off your shoulder. Then without a word started going through the box. “Did you remember the bathing suit?”

You could hear Katsuki’s palm’s crackle with irritation, “Yes… I did. But don’t get your pervy hopes up. I got the most conservative one I could find.” There he goes being overprotective for no reason… well that wasn’t exactly fair he did have a reason. He had just found you in the most horrendous condition possible and immediately had to hand you off to a former villain who kidnapped him in his youth… so yeah. You decided you were going to cut him some slack.

“Well considering it’s for her fucking rehabilitation…she could be naked for all I care. As long as she’s comfortable and gets those damn legs moving.” Dabi could feel his temper starting to get the better of him. Considering Bakugo was known for having the worlds shortest fuse, he needed to keep his cool. He could not be the one to snap first.

“Oi! Don’t act like carrying her around is such a burden!” Bakugo stood up now squaring off with Dabi.

Dabi’s eyes flared but his voice remained even, “I never said it was a burden… In fact, I love carrying her around. However, I don’t plan on making it a habit because I want her to get better.” His voice dipped and got angrier, “And don’t you talk about her as if she’s not sitting in the same room as us! She can speak for herself…”

He looked at you and you gave him a pointed look. ~Calm down please.~

He took a deep breath and signed back, ~Trying~

Katsuki looked between the two of you with narrowed eyes, “When did you guys learn sign language?”

Dabi walked into the kitchen and started making dinner. If Bakugo wanted to make a house call, he needed to let him have his fun. He’d be leaving soon enough, he just needed to let the two of you be until then. “We started learning a couple weeks ago.” He pulled out two bowls because that’s how passive aggressive he is. If that asshat didn’t get the hint by the time dinner was ready, then he’d just have to sit there and watch you eat.

Dabi had to stop for a moment and contemplate this. Why was he this mad? Why did he actually care this much? You were obviously going to be close with the loudmouth. You’d known him for a long time. He needed to remember that just because you lived with him now doesn’t mean that you even want to be here. For all he knows you’re just tolerating him because you have to. It’s not like the two of you have lots of late-night conversations.

He looked over when he realized it had been pretty quiet and saw that the two of you were speaking in sign. His hands on yours helping you with a new word. “Okay so obviously you know sign too.”

Katsuki had a shit eating grin. “The doctors told my mom when I was young, I’d eventually go deaf due to my quirk. I’m basically fluent.” He continued to sit and teach you new words and damn if you weren’t happier than he had seen in the past two weeks.

Dabi rolled his eyes as he went back to making dinner. “Go ahead and teach her whatever you want. Be fucking useful for once.” Dabi continued to make dinner, shoulders tensing every time he heard you giggle.

Katsuki had his phone out and was showing you everything you had missed. “Okay so surprise, surprise, Deku and IcyHot are like a thing now.” He showed a couple cute pictures from Izuku’s private Instagram. The last one was of them kissing under an umbrella. “Kiri and Mina had a kid. Little rascal is probably about six months old now. He’s cute but his teeth hurt like hell.” He picked up his hand that had a tiny crescent shaped scar, which had you absolutely grinning.

He ruffled your hair, “Oi, you won’t be smiling when the brat bites you next.” He continued to scroll, “OH! I almost forgot the best part.” He turned his phone to you and showed you a picture of someone’s mug shot. “Fucking grape juice got arrested.”

Your eyes widened. You waited for him to go one when you realized he was waiting on you. He was giving you an opportunity to contribute to the conversation. ~Why?~

“Trying to buy a prostitute… Literally no one was surprised.” He looked back to the kitchen to make sure Dabi wasn’t listening. When he was satisfied, he pulled you closer into his side and threw his arm around you. “Hey, you would let me know if he was mistreating you right?” His fingers carded through your hair and his eyes roamed all your visible skin for signs of abuse.

You nodded your head and pulled your shirt further down, suddenly aware that you weren’t wearing pants. You had just gotten so used to it you had forgotten. He noticed you fidgeting, “He hasn’t touched you, has he? Because I swear to God I’ll rip out every single staple in his body then make him eat them.”

You leaned further into his to side to hide your blush. He most certainly had touched you. And you still hadn’t worked out how you felt about it. He hadn’t made any attempt to do it again beyond the casual touches when he carried you or when he helped you in the pool. He had made it a habit of sleeping in your room, but he always stayed on his side of the bed.

Katsuki must have taken your lack of response as a confirmation. “I’m going to kill him.”

You sat up straight and started shaking your head, ~No. No. Wrong~

“Wrong? So, he hasn’t touched you then?”

You gulped. Either way you answered was bad. You either told him the truth and he rage killed Dabi, or you lied to your best friend… Either way you were fucked.

As you struggled for an answer Dabi walked in and handed you your bowl of curry and rice. “Don’t worry I’ll answer that one for you, and stop at me at any point you think I got it wrong.” He took his seat in a recliner and took a bite of his meal. “So, we had a moment where something could have happened, but we stopped before it got too far and decided we were just being emotional and moved on.”

Katsuki’s hand started to heat up and crackled but you pulled on his arm to get his attention, ~Right~

He still looked angry, and maybe even a little hurt, which had you all confused again. He looked like he wanted to throw one of his famous temper tantrums. You knew how much it was killing him to not pounce on Dabi, “Keep your disgusting hands to yourself from now on. She’s been through enough. She doesn’t need you taking advantage of her!”

“You don’t speak for her!”

You clapped your hands to get their attention, ~Enough~ You gave each of them a glare and it was silent after that.

You took a bite of your dinner to avoid Katsuki’s eyes and was met with the most delicious meal Dabi had made to date. You cleared your throat to get Dabi’s attention. You pointed to Katsuki then your bowl of food and signed ~where~?

“I didn’t think a busy hero like him would have time to stick around for dinner.” He continued to pick at his food, “Speaking of which. It’s getting late. Hate to keep you from your super important work of dress up and make believe.”

Katsuki gestured to the duffle bag he carried in. “Oh, I’m not going anywhere tonight.” He was looking at you now. A look of concern ghosted across his face. “Consider it a wellness check.” He leaned forward and gave the side of your head a soft peck, “I just want to be sure you’re okay. I promised you I wouldn’t let anything happen to you and I intend to keep that promise.”

You felt yourself sinking into his familiar warmth. If there was anyone who felt like home, it was Katsuki. Sure, he was in the middle of a ridiculous pissing contest with Dabi at the moment, but you really couldn’t blame him. He’d always been a stubborn, territorial, asshole. But he was also kind he cared about you and for that you could forgive him.

“Whatever, just don’t get in the way of our routine.” Dabi stood up with his now empty bowl. “You know that law, eat every last bite. I’ll get your bath started while you finish.” He looked at Katsuki, “You can have my room… I’ll sleep on the couch.”

He didn’t even wait for a response as he left the two of you alone.

Katsuki visibly relaxed into the couch once Dabi had left the room. “What did he mean by law?”

You smiled as you pulled out your journal and opened it up for him. You pointed to law number seven. At first, he was pissed that Dabi would give you a new set of rules to live by, like you were some kid. But then he realized there wasn’t a single “law” on here that didn’t have your best interest in mind.

His eyes scanned over the rest. Chuckling at some silly laws like ‘Wake up whenever the hell you want’, and ‘No fucking shrugging.’ He had to admit that he also hated it when you would do that. It wasn’t that you were indecisive. It was that you knew what you wanted but you never wanted to speak up for yourself. Always willing to bend over backwards to make others happy. Never wanting to give anyone any more reason to dislike you.

His heart hurt at the laws that said things like, ‘No drugs’, ‘No locked doors’, and ‘Never say sorry for something that isn’t your fault.’

The law that had his blood boiling however was the last one, law number thirteen. ‘I will not initiate the sexy time without written or verbal consent.’ He furiously flipped through the pages that came after, trying to get the idea of you ever giving Dabi consent to touch you out of his mind.

You had finished your food by now and stretched your muscles out. All in all, this had been a great day. You walked on your own in the pool AND Katsuki had come to visit. You were so tired you just knew you would fall asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. Hopefully you wouldn’t have any nightmares.

You put your hand on Katsuki’s shoulder and used it to push yourself to your feet. You wobbled for a few seconds but otherwise kept your footing.

“Hey look at you! I thought you’d be too tired after what we did in the pool today, good job.” You looked up to see Dabi leaning in the hallway. “Your bath is ready. One for me, two for blondie.”

Katsuki scrunched his nose up, “Wha-“

You held up two fingers and Dabi nodded. “Alright looks like you get bath time duty today.” Dabi smirked when Katsuki’s eyes widened. “Don’t freak out. She’s gotten to the point where she can get in on her own and some days she can even get out too. You just need to hang out by the door in case she needs help.

You wound your arms around Katsuki’s neck, and he picked you up. His heart pounded as he followed Dabi to what he assumed was your room. He leaned over and whispered in your ear, “Hey wouldn’t be the first time we bathed together.”

You giggled and hit his shoulder. You knew he meant when you were kids. But you couldn’t stop the blush that took over you at the thought of him just hopping in the tub with you now.

Dabi tensed up as he stopped at the door to your room. “Alright… y/n you know the drill if you need me just yell.” He winked at you after his stupid joke and you flipped him off.

He walked back to the kitchen and opened his laptop. He started to go over tomorrow’s sign language lesson early. He’d never tell you this, but he does this every day. You were so much better at picking it up then him, he needed to do extra work just to keep up.

You signed ~Thank you~ as Katsuki placed you down next to the full tub.

“Okay… so I guess you just let me know if you need me by…?”

You shrugged as you knocked on the side of the tub. Part of you really didn’t want him to leave, even if it was only for a few minutes. You reached out and grabbed his wrist.

He gave you a curious look, but softened when you signed back, ~Stay~

“Does he usually stay?”

You shook your head, Dabi always insisted he had things to do and it was important you do some things on your own.

Katsuki took a seat on the floor with his back against the tub. Even with permission he was determined to protect your modesty. You slipped your clothes off and quickly lifted your legs into the tub. It was almost too easy now and you smiled at your progress.

You sighed as the water warmed your skin. Your hand reached for Katsuki’s and gave it a squeeze. You could see the tension in his shoulders as he squeezed your hand back before intertwining your fingers.

“Y/n… I -I know I’ve already said I’m sorry. But I still have this mountain of guilt sitting on my chest. You were… are… one of the most important people in my life. And I was so wrapped up in my own life I didn’t see the signs. I didn’t notice that something was wrong.” You could hear his voice crack as he tried to hold his emotions down. “I knew you went on secret missions that you couldn’t always talk about. I watched as you came back looking defeated and… and broken. I thought there was something going on, but I just kept reminding myself you worked with heroes… that I was just being paranoid.”

You felt tears build in your eyes and you were glad he wasn’t looking at you. You rubbed circles on his hand with your thumb encouraging him to keep going. He obviously had a lot he had been bottling up. “You know Deku and I went to your agency one day after you had been gone for a few months and all they told us was your mission was confidential, and we weren’t related to you so they couldn’t even tell us if you were okay.” He sniffled, “I went there every day after work and got the same bull shit answer. It drove me crazy.”

He took a deep breath to settle himself, “So we started asking about you. Started looking for you in all the underground trading routes.” A long silence followed as he got lost in the memories of looking for you. “It almost took us a year, but we finally found someone who had seen you. Some small-time villain whose quirk was invisibility. He had snuck into your agency to try and break his boss out. But when he found him you were also in the room…”

He didn’t keep going, and for that you were grateful because you didn’t want to hear it. You knew what came next and you didn’t exactly want to relive it.

“I’m so sorry. I failed you. I was supposed to protect you. I promised you I’d be by your side forever, and I-I-“

You pulled his hand towards you and gave it a kiss before putting his palm on your cheek. He hesitantly turned and looked at you with tears in his eyes. You activated your quirk and washed over him with feelings of love and understanding. You watched his eyes close as he shuttered. You may not be able to speak, but you could still communicate to him through feeling that you were okay.

You reached over and brushed a stray tear away and pulled him close to plant a kiss on his forehead.

When your bath was over, he waited for you to wrap yourself in a towel before picking you up and depositing you gently on your bed. You pulled the All Might shirt he had brought with him over your head, and crawled under the covers.

He had only wanted to lay there until you fell asleep, but he ended up falling asleep soon after you.

Dabi walked in hoping to tell you goodnight but found the two of you asleep facing each other. You under the covers, Bakugo on top of the covers. Your hands stretched out towards each other as if looking for each other even in sleep.

Dabi’s hands were glowing with livid flames as he left in a hurry.

He went straight to the abandoned cabinet that held all of the now off-limits drugs. He could take just one… you would never know.

He growled as he shoved the bottle back into the cabinet and slammed the door. Reaching instead for a bottle of whiskey. He went to the couch and poured himself a drink.

And that’s how you and Bakugo found him the next day. Passed out on the couch empty whisky bottle on the floor next to him.

Dabi chugged his coffee as his head pounded. He was no stranger to hangovers, but ever since you came to live with him, he hadn’t felt the need to drink that much. At one point in his life it had been the only way he could get any decent sleep.

He watched from his seat at the kitchen island as you and Bakugo made breakfast. The smell of bacon hit him and his stomach growled. Shit.

You could see his sour expression and when Bakugo wasn’t looking you stood from the chair you were sitting in. Dabi kept his eyes on you like a hawk. Watching for any signs you might fall. You stumbled but he remained still. He knew you were okay. The Island was right there if you needed to hold on to it. You were only a few steps away from him now. Arms stretched out and a smile on your face.

You knew this would cheer him up, and get him out of whatever shitty mood he was in. Only one more step and you’d be there. To this Dabi stood up and took a step away from you with a playful look in his eye as if to say come and get me.

Bakugo continued to talk, not even noticing you weren’t sitting behind him anymore. It wasn’t until the loud thud of you hitting the tile floor that he looked up. He immediately rushed to you while Dabi laughed.

“Why the fuck are you laughing? She could be hurt!”

Dabi just continued to laugh, “I’m laughing because it’s fucking funny. She’s fine.” He titled his head to the side. “You’re a tough cookie aren’t yeah y/n?”

You giggled and nodded. Dabi took you from Bakugo’s embrace “See she’s fine. I think you need to remember she used to be a pro hero. I think she can handle tripping over her own feet.” He stood up and sat you down in front of the laptop.

“Okay time to learn some sign language, looks like today’s all about food. Oh good, you love food.” He ruffled your hair before picking a piece of bacon off of your plate and biting into it.

The little back and forth continued the entire day. The biggest argument came later when it was time for the pool. You groaned and decided you weren’t in the mood. ~No pool~

Dabi rolled his eyes at you, “Yes pool. You even have a bathing suit this time. So, get your ass in gear.”

You crossed your arms over your chest in defiance. “Listen here brat. It’s the law. We work on getting your strength back every single day. No negotiations.”

Bakugo didn’t like the tone Dabi was talking to you in. “Oi, she’s not some puppet for you to boss around. She said she doesn’t want to so that’s it. Back off!”

Dabi’s eyes flared with anger, “You don’t have a fucking say in this. This is between me and her.” He looked at you again, “If you had asked nicely, I might have let this go. Just because we have a guest doesn’t mean you can disregard the laws and neglect the routine. Now be a good girl and let’s go put your bathing suit on.”

Bakugo stepped between you and Dabi, “Be a good girl? What the fuck is your problem. You don’t own her.”

Dabi pinched the bridge of his nose trying to remind himself why he can’t just fight the obnoxious asshole in font of him. “I don’t own her, but I also refuse to sit here and watch her wither away. We have laws to make her better, and I refuse to deviate. It’s clear I take her recovery more seriously than you do.”

Bakugo shoved Dabi back, “The fuck you do! This isn’t some rehab she checked into. You have no right to boss her around! What makes you think you know what’s best for her?”

Dabi was practically screaming now, “Because I’ve fucking been in her shoes, you ignorant ticking time bomb!” His chest was heaving now, “Did you ever wonder why I had to fake my own death just to get away from my own father… who was a fucking HERO! I’ve been poked and prodded and pushed past my limits. Except I didn’t have someone there to help me and I ended up in the League. Depressed, blood thirty, and hell bent on getting revenge on the so-called heroes that were so okay with a little boy practically killing himself every day just to produce the next number one.”

To this Bakugo didn’t have an answer. He’s heard Todoroki’s horror stories. He could only imagine what Endeavor had put Dabi through.

Dabi looked at you know eyes still furious, “I’ll make you a deal y/n. You put on quite the show this morning taking a few steps on your own. No matter how mad I am, I’ll never tell you that wasn’t a good job. But now you want to skip the very thing that allowed you to take those steps.” He walked out of the kitchen and took a seat in his recliner. “Make it over to me right now, with no help and we can skip the pool.”

With a determined scowl you pushed yourself out of your seat. Bakugo went to grab you “Y/n you don’t have to do-“

“Yes! She does, now let her do it. She needs this. Y/n you can do this. Now prove it to me and prove it to yourself.”

You took your first step, determination written all over you face. Step followed step and you had already walked further than you had this morning, but you were only about halfway there.

Dabi’s eyes were patient and his voice was calm. “Come on y/n. You can do this. You aren’t broken. There is nothing wrong with you. Just keep walking.”

You could feel the tension in the room stiffen. Bakugo watched you with his hands out as if to catch you, always your protector, always your safety net. But you didn’t need that right now.

Your knees started to wobble and buckle, and involuntary whine left your lip as you went down to one knee.

“Come on you can’t give up now. You’re doing such a good job. Now push yourself back up. I’m right here. Come on. Push harder!”

You felt a tear streak down your cheek as you tried to push yourself up but only ended up on the ground.

Bakugo was at your side in an instant but you pushed him away.

“That’s right y/n you can do this. I believe in you. I don’t care if you have to crawl. You’re so close.” You pulled yourself up enough to crawl across the rough carpet. You got up to your knees then slowly you stood.

Dabi saw the fire in your eyes and it sent a shiver down his spine. You were going to do this even if it killed you. It made him think about what you would look like in battle. If you looked even half as gritty as you do now he had no doubt you had strong men cowering at your feet. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he gave that back to you. That power, that strength, that untamable will, he knew was somewhere inside you laying dormant.

He got out of his recliner and lowered himself to the ground, “Come on your so close now. Keep going Y/N!”

With one last push you practically jumped into his arms and collapsed. Tears streamed down your cheeks, but for the first time since coming here they were happy tears. You did it. You walked all on your own.

He cooed into your hair as he rocked you back and forth, “You did such a good job. You did it. I knew you could. You can rest now. I’ll get you some ice cream. How does that sound. We’ll celebrate.”

You nodded as you clutched Dabi’s shirt.

Bakugo disappeared for a few minutes and when he came back he had his bag over his shoulder. He kneeled down next to you and pressed his forehead to yours. “I think it’s time I got back to work. I still need to take down the bastards that did this to you.” He smoothed his fingers through your hair and looked to Dabi, “I think you’re in good hands.”

He made his way to the door, “I’ll be back soon.”

*****************

Tags: tags: @falling4fandoms @wifunozomi @here-in-never-land @whore-for-anime@klecksstorys @aurorahoneybuns @theunknownrandom @insane-without-delirium @frenchsfryys @officiallydarkgeek @neofixcs @music-is-all-i-need

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #mha bakugou #bhna bakugou #dabi imagine #dabi x reader #dabi my hero academia #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #dabi todoroki #toya todoroki #mha #mha x reader #mha imagines #my hero academia

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