#worked on this for 6 days straight im so sleep deprived

[tenowls]

was inspired seeing ppl do matching prints at cons so i wanted to try it too…. my fav alnst song and characters teehee

[catmoe]

super silly terrible trio headcanons for @pjtrashofficial might update and add more in the future!

i am helping to keep the pj fandom alive

Romeo:

-invented a kareoke and dance rhythm machine one day out of pure boredom and night ninja and luna tried to steal them on multiple occasions

-lives in the flying factory

- has pulled more all nighters than he count

- had an orange juice addiction

- handwriting is a mix of cursive and regular font yet still surprsingly readable

- VERY COLD HANDS not as cold as lunas but STILL COLD

- had robot brainrot, refers to sleeping as 'sleep mode' or 'restarting' and passing out as 'short circuiting'

- has a collection of teddy bears but professor snuggles will always be his favorite one

- LOVES organizing things but somehow never has the motivation or willpower to clean his room, like the entire flying factory being clean except for his room

- he has a blahaj that he put glasses on. i have a feeling

- has numerous injuries of all kinds from inventing and fighting, like burns, bruises, cuts and scars

- surprisingly not physically adept and kinda fragile at times like im thinking he could trip on a rock from running from the pjs and break his leg 😭

- doesnt understand why taking over the world or the inventions he makes are bad at all he thinks the reason why everyone hates him for it is because they dont understand how it works and are jealous of him for it or think hes not capable of ruling the world like i dont think he understands whats bad about being a dictator 😭🙏

- enjoys sweet food, especially chocolate and strawberry flavored food

- found a lab coat on the side of the street and claimed it as his however it was far too oversized so be stitched it as best as he can to make it fit him but the stitching is lop sided because he isn't that good at stitching but he tried 🙏

- saw other people having earrings and though it was cool so he invented something to pierce his ears but he underestimated the calculation and preparation neccessay and how much it hurt and he pierced it too high so he had a migraine and his ears kept ringing for a week straight because of it

- actually the shortest out of the main 6 im pretty sure this is canon but im putting it here because why not

- has hacked into government servers multiple times

- actually pretty good at video games

- might actually enjoy minecraft

- him and greg bond over shared experiences like difficulty with poems and presenting it to the class, not being taken seriously, being taken for granted, being recognized only for their skills and other stuff that they share in common that i cant think of right now

- sees how night ninja and luna bond over art and painting so he tried it himself and isnt the best at it, but hey, atleast he bond with them about it right? 🥹

- is a walking calculator, mental math final boss

- can yap FOR LITERAL HOURS about his special interests i kid you not. (get it, hes a kid? pun not intended btw)

- special interests are computer, science and math, anything plush or cuddly related and space

- social awkwardness final boss like surprisingly greg is better at socallizing than him thats how bad he is at interacting with people

- happily looks forward for villain alliances if it means that he wont be alone for a night

- annoyed fairly easy

- gets silly when hes comfortable around someone (very rare occurance if that someone isnt robot)

- autism creature

- can play the piano

- does the erm actually pose on a daily basis

- sleep deprived

- cannot see without his goggles even if his life depends on it

- talks to himself out loud and narrates the things hes doing (like what catboy does)

- has the biggest, brightest and liveliest smile ever

Night Ninja

-warmest hands ever

-LOVES manga or comics in general

- a very good artist

- plays board games with his ninjalinos when they are not training or fighting

- knows first aid so that he can patch up himself and his ninjalinos after a fight or intense training

- is actually kinda terrified of what anyus flute is capable of

- can do a perfect split with no warmups whatsoever and feel no pain from it

- the ninjalinos are strong enough to carry him around if they group up and its actually pretty funny

- whenever he wanders off in the middle of the night he always makes sure his ninjalinos are asleep. some are, some pretend to sleep then mess around

- sometimes breaks into the flying factory when hes bored to see what romeo is doing mostly because he can't break into the moon to see luna to sneak around her most of the time so he pesters romeo twice as much eheh

- king of video games especially anything action themed

- had punched a hole in a wall out of pure frustration multiple times

- has scared his ninjalinos on accident multiple times and feels guilty for it

- does little shows and tricks every now and then to make the ninjalinos smile when they feel down or for their birthdays

- can play the flute

Luna Girl

- punches people when shes missing her luna gadgets (Night Ninja taught her)

- Her and Motsuki wrestle sometimes when they are bored

- Motsuki is a flying flashlight and Luna is used to it already

- coldest hands to ever exist

- whenever night ninja ventures off in the middle of the night, sometimes she sneaks on the ninjalinos and plays games with them like tag and they enjoy her company

- likes dress up

- an aspiring artist like that one scene from Romeos disguise i think where shes painting outside the museum

- gets bored sometimes on the moon so she visits earth in hopes of something fun to do

- her and romeo sometimes bond over their interest in space

- loves learning new skills

- loves halloween because she gets to see creative costumes and scare people for candy every year

- loves having her moths carry her around like a parade float

- [ ] loves teasing the wolfies about the moon

- [ ] loves teaming up with night ninja to tease romeo

[m1lflov3rrr]

Hi hiiiiii! Firstly, lemme just say I absolutely ADORE your fics on wattpad and im SO thrilled you're also here on tumblr now??!?!? An absolute treat, this is <3

Anyways as for requests— can I request Larissa and/or Marilyn dealing with Y/N who's got a really bad sleeping schedule thanks to having the WORST case of insomnia? (fluff most appreciated, but IF you want somth more spicy to deal it, I wouldn't say no to it hehe 💕 :3c)

Thank you sm <3

Thank you for the request and so sorry it took literally MONTHS!!! But here it is now!! And thank you for your kind words, means so much to me <3 I really hope you enjoy this, I made a few changes to it. I don’t have that much experience with insomnia, but with sleep deprivation so I wrote about that, I hope it is okay!

No Rest for the Wicked

Pairing: Larissa Weems x fem!reader

Warnings: sleep deprivation, health issues, fainting, worrying, fluff

Word count: 2.5k

Summary: Larissa tries to help you when she notices how little you’re sleeping…

You sighed deeply as you raised your gaze from your laptop and looked out the window. A heavy fog had descended on the school grounds, reaching as far as the tired eye could see. 

The fog was persistent, it was thick. 

You felt like your thoughts were similarly clouded. You smiled at the irony. 

Returning your gaze back to your work, you looked at the time, it was way past 4 am already. Larissa would wake up soon. 

For the past few weeks it had been like this. You were staying up late, only getting a few hours of sleep a night. And sometimes, like tonight, no sleep at all. 

You felt that you didn’t have enough time. The work load you had felt like the weight of the world rested on your shoulders. You had stacks of ungraded papers, lesson plans to finalize, and a curriculum to update. 

You were exhausted. 

You tried your best to hide it, you didn’t want Larissa to get worried. Because her concern would’ve broken your heart. 

Every day went like this: You ’got up’ at 6, prepared for your lessons of the day and started at 8, taught for 8 hours straight, got back to your shared quarters and spent the rest of the night with Larissa. And after she had fallen asleep, you’d finish your work and prepare for the next day. 

You didn’t have the heart to tell your wife how much workload you’d had recently and how overwhelming it was for you. You had had difficulties in the past finding time to spend together, and after months of you both trying to work it out, it was, indeed, working. 

But lately, it had become too much. With the work, of course. You knew that Larissa would get concerned and start panicking and rushing things to make it better. You didn’t want that. She had her own job to do, which definitely had a workload twice as big as yours was. You felt pathetic. Your wife does three times the work you do in a day and you’re still stressed? Yes, pathetic. 

You finished your lesson plans for the day, just to save yourself some time later. 

It was 5:13 am when you were done. You rubbed your temples to ease your already growing headache as you got up from the desk, swayed there for a bit before making your way to the bathroom. 

You winced at your reflection in the mirror. Your dark and puffy undereyes were still there, if not even more bad and noticeable. This was the first time in your 25 years of living that you had had eye bags. You knew it was bad. 

You hopped in the shower to keep yourself up and maybe gather some energy to get through the day. At first the cold water did wake you up a bit more. Then, when you turned it a little bit warmer, you realized how bad of an idea it was. The warm water relaxed all those tense muscles in your body and you closed your eyes to enjoy the feeling. 

And your eyes stayed closed for a bit too long. If you weren’t so tired, you would have laughed at yourself. The image of you half asleep, standing in your shower. What in the actual fuck, really? 

But something made you jump and push your body’s cries for help and sleep to the back of your mind. 

”Darling?” You heard Larissa’s hoarse morning voice call out to you from the door. 

”Mhm?” You hummed as you turned the water back to cold to not almost fall asleep again. 

”Nothing, just wondering how you’re up so early every morning this week, usually it’s a task itself to get you up,” She chuckled at her own words. 

You smiled to yourself and turned the faucet off, stepping out of the shower so you could see her. 

You noticed how she was checking you out, biting her lip as her eyes roamed across your body. You smirked at her as you took your towel and dried yourself, about to wrap it around your bare body. 

She quickly snapped out of her trance and stepped forward, taking the towel in her hands and unwrapping it, causing it to drop on the floor. 

”I don’t think we’ll be needing that.” She said in a low tone as she pulled you flush against her body by your waist, attacking your neck with her mouth. 

You hummed in delight and closed your eyes in satisfaction at the sudden move, wrapping your hands around her neck. 

You let out little gasps, you couldn’t even let out a simple moan because of your sleep-deprived state. 

And it felt so good, feeling your wife’s lips on your neck, still keeping your eyes shut, leaning into her, maybe leaning too much, starting to drift off, losing your balance… 

Your eyes snapped open when your heard Larissa’s sudden, loud gasp, as she had her arms tightly wrapped around your torso to keep you from falling to the hard floor. 

”Darling, what on earth just happened here?!” She asked in shock as you stood up. 

You took a moment to process what she just said, just because you couldn’t think as fast as usual. 

”What? M’sorry, just got a little.. distracted there, I think..” You responded hazily, trying to focus your eyes to look into hers. 

She ducked her head a bit, trying to get a closer look of you and inspecting your condition. ”Are you alright? You had me worried there, are you sure you want to go to work today? You can take the day off, okay?” 

Your eyes widened in panic, ”No, no, Rissa I am absolutely fine, and I will not be taking the day off. You shouldn’t be concerned, I am okay.” You said hurriedly and walked away, leaving your wife standing in the bathroom, extremely confused and concerned. 

-

”Okay, I think it’s time we all head for lunch, see you guys tomorrow!” You announced the class with a smile, packing your things and leaving for the dining hall. As you entered the hall, you seached for your wife with your eyes, as you always ate lunch together. She wasn’t there. 

You yelped loudly when you felt someone grab your shoulder from behind, causing some people nearby to look at your weirdly. You turned around, ”God, you scared me, Rissa,” You breathed out. 

She just responded with a laugh, sliding her arm to the small of your back and guiding you to walk together to get the food. 

As you sat down, you began eating in silence. You opened a can of energy drink, something that you’d been drinking a lot these days. You didn’t usually even drink those that often, but you needed something to keep you up and awake. 

Larissa sent you a scolding look, a frown tugging at her lips. ”Y/N, what’s this?” 

You widened your eyes, you didn’t want her to find out like this. Or any other way. ”Oh, that’s just an energy drink. Thought it might give me a little boost.” 

She narrowed her eyes slightly, ”A boost? Y/N, darling, this isn’t healthy. Are you not sleeping enough?” 

You smiled, but it was forced. ”Rissa, I’m fine. It’s just been a busy week.” 

She sighed, looking at you with worry-filled eyes. ”Y/N, I can see something is going on, don’t shut me out. Whatever it is, I’m here to help you. We’re a team, remember?” 

Your gaze softened, you were really lucky to have her. But you didn’t want her to know. You didn’t want her you worry about you, because when Larissa got worried, it was all she could think about. She couldn’t work, rest, do anything. She’d have to get to the bottom of it. 

You pursed your lips and took her hand in yours, ”I know, and I appreciate that. But I’ve got this, Rissa. Trust me.” 

-

It had been a few days since that, and your condition and fatigue were only growing worse. Your work load seemed to have doubled since that day. You were trying (and struggling) to stay awake with the constant consumption of caffeine. 

The fog was growing thicker and thicker. You barely could see where you were walking. 

Larissa had had enough. She had been watching your extremely concerning situation unfold in the past few days into something much more worrying. She couldn’t bear seeing you suffer like this for a moment longer. This had to end now. 

You were sitting in your classroom, head buried in your hands as you tried to take a deep breath so that the pounding headache you had recently gotten would go away. You’d taken more aspirin than you probably should have, but it didn’t do anything. You were feeling miserable, physically, and that way, emotionally, too. 

Your eyes began to feel heavier and heavier, and you almost didn’t hear the sharp knock on your classroom door. You flinched harshly at that, squeaking a quiet, ”It’s open.” 

You heard the door opening and the familiar clacking of heels filled the room. 

”Darling?” 

Her voice was soft, almost a little wary. 

You raised your gaze to meet hers, ”Yes?” 

Her eyes were filled with concern, barely hidden. ”I’m worried about you. I can see that something’s going on, and if you’d just please, please let me in, I could help you. Okay?” 

You pursed your lips. You knew this was coming. ”Larissa there is absolutely no reason for you to worry. I am fine, okay?” Your voice was a mixture of frustration and exhaustion. 

”No, you’re not.” She snarled, her tone of voice contrasting the one she had just moments prior. ”You’ve been running on fumes for days! Darling, this… this can’t go on any longer.” Her voice broke as her eyes held a silent plea. 

Your jaw clenched, eyes fixed on the floor. ”I can handle it.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, and it was becoming harder and harder to keep convincing yourself that. 

”Y/N you almost collapsed earlier! This can’t go on.” She stepped closer, reaching her hand out to touch your shoulder. 

You shrugged off her touch, ”It was nothing. Just a moment of dizziness.” 

Larissa scoffed, her patience was wearing thin. ”And what happens when it’s not just a moment? What happens when you can’t get back up?” 

Something in that comment did it. Your eyes flashed with fury as your tone of voice turned into one laced with venom.  ”You just don’t get it, Larissa! I can fucking handle myself!” 

Her brows furrowed and you could’ve sworn you almost saw her flinch a little. ”Look, I am not trying to belittle you. I just want and need you to take care of yourself.” 

Your head tilted as your eyes held nothing but defiance in them. You felt your breathing pick up, uncontrollably, and how that pounding headache seemed to double, you started feeling a little lightheaded. But you chose to do what you’d been doing for god knows how long now. You ignored it. 

”I don’t, I don’t need you constantly watching over me.” You said, out of breath. 

Your wife’s expression dropped as she realized your condition and what could be happening next. She approached you cautiously, attempting to try and calm you down. ”Y/N, darling, this is not about control. It’s about caring for you.” She told calmly, cupping your face with her soft palm. 

You shook your head, ”You suffocate me, Larissa! I can’t breathe with you hovering over me all the time!” 

Larissa’s heart sank at that. She never meant for it to come to this. She only wanted the best for you, to protect you. 

”Y/N, please, I…” 

Your breathing laboured and before she could finish, your legs gave way and you collapsed on the cold, hard floor. 

”Y/N!” Larissa’s voice came out as a terrified cry as she rushed forward to try and catch you, but she was too late. 

Tears welled up in her eyes as she knelt beside you, shaking you gently and trying to wake you up. ”Y/N, can you hear me?! Please, say something..” 

Your eyes fluttered open, but you couldn’t focus on anything. Your breathing was still laboured and the words you tried to speak came out as a strained whisper. 

”Y/N, I’m taking you to the infirmary.” She breathed out as she scooped you up in her arms and rushed out the classroom. 

-

Since then, you and Larissa made an agreement. Well, you didn’t have much say in it, since Larissa demanded it. 

Larissa began monitoring your schedule, making sure you were following the new schedule she had made for you. And there was no room for negotiaton, absolutely no exceptions. 

Larissa also began cooking more, preparing the meals with care and love, making sure each one was balanced with important nutrients to get your energy levels for the better. 

Bedtime was the most strictly monitored. As evening approached, Larissa would guide you through a calming routine. She’d prepare a warm bath with your favourite scents, she’d slip in as well and wash your hair for you, massaging your head to calm you down. Then, she’d dress you into comfortable pyjamas and lead you to bed, prepare you a nice cup of tea and dim the lights. 

And she’d lull you to sleep with soothing caresses and words of affirmation, telling you how much she loved you, again and again, kissing your whole body as she did so. 

And it worked perfectly. You were feeling both, physically and mentally better. The dark circles under your eyes were slowly fading away, your energy starting to gain back. You also growed to appreciate your wife a thousand times more.

One evening, you were sitting in your shared bedroom, by your desk. Your laptop was open and you were determined to finish grading some papers for your students. Then, Larissa entered the room, the stern look on her face telling everything. ”Darling, it’s time for dinner.” 

You sighed, closing the laptop as you didn’t want to argue about it. And you were starving too. 

You ate in silence with her, you occasionally stealing glances at her. The way she fussed about your portion sizes, making sure you got the right nutrients for your health - you heart warmed as it was all an expression of love. 

Once you were finished, she led you to bed, undressing you and helping you with your pyjamas. I could’ve done that myself, you thought. 

”Now, off to bed. You need your rest, dearest.” 

You smiled as she laid down next to you, caressing your hair and kissing you softly. And you kissed her back, again and again.  Soon, you fell into a peaceful slumber, under Larissa’s loving gaze. She laid a final kiss on your forehead, ”I love you, my darling.” She whispered before drifting off as well. 

And if you looked outside, you’d have noticed that the fog had finally cleared. 

[songbirdmunson]

Okay I know you are currently on here and I just need advice pertinent to right now and no one else is answering

Me and my friend made plans to get dinner. We did not set a time. I told her I'd probably wake up around 3 or 4 and we could set the time then. She agreed and said if she didn't respond to call her and it would wake her up. We both work 2nd or 3rd shift. I texted her approx 4asking if she wanted to meet at 5, 530, or 6. No response. I called at 530 and no answer. I texted 535 like r u awake. At 6 I tried calling once more. I texted at 630 like bro u asleep? All good?

Cause like 1) now im concerned something happened.

But 2) i havent ate literally all day I got home at 9am and went straight to sleep I need to eat it is currently 720 and im like ???? Still no response. Like they may still respond and want to meet up but

Like should I go ahead and eat thats the dilemma I'm starving but if they want to meet up then I'll have ate but jt seems kind of late for that right or

I'm also still sleep deprived because I got so many calls from work and other things

If you haven’t had anything to eat at all I would definitely eat honey! From what it sounds like maybe they are still sleeping! If they do want to chill after they wake up I’m sure they’ll understand that you got hungry and needed something! (: I would definitely eat something until you hear back from them!

[aglassmenagerieofallergies]

Rant about Mystreet Season 6

Now I love Aphmau’s channel and series, have since I was 10, but this last season of Mystreet and parts of season 5 could have been so much better. This is meant to be no “attack” or “jab” at Jess and Jason’s writing, these are merely opinions from a long-time fan. I am gonna go on a bit of a rant about the parts I personally feel could have been MUCH improved on. I would like to preface this with saying that I really do not enjoy this season and therefore do not re watch it a lot. Its also 4:40 am my time so this might turn into a sleep deprived ramble but anyways, here we go...

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 5/6 OF APHMAUS MYSTREET 

Kawaii Chan/ Nana

I adore Nana. She has consistently been my favourite female character for all 6 seasons of the show and in diaries but holy she has done wrong this past season. Getting almost killed and then not having any involvement what so ever. The majority of her screen time, especially near the fight with the demon warlock, just felt like the writers forgot she was there and wanted to give Moeka lines. Her involvement with Zane was the only moments she seemed to have. Speaking of her and Zane... While I love them as a couple, I also despise the fact that Nana only ever got development or a backstory when it came time to ship her with Zane. I wish she could have been more explored earlier on aside from being the “annoying, shippy, meifwa girl”. She got the short end of the stick recently and I hate it.

Aaron 

I have really never liked Aaron. From him being a high school senior dating a freshman to him literally murdering people, I never liked him. This season really didn't help that. Aaron ended lives, we see him kill Blaze and is he punished at all for it ? No. Yes, he was blinded and lost his memory but that wasn't as a reprimand for his crime of I don’t know MURDER. Aaron and Irene’s constant interactions make zero sense to me. One man cant be brought back to life by God twice. I get a bad sense that through-out season 6, we are meant to be supporting or sympathising with Aaron but I just cant. We are treated to numerous flashbacks to Aaron’s past, inter-cut with scenes of him committing various horrid actions. His father raised and treated him horribly but that is no excuse for murder. The ending of season 6 seemed almost hopeful for Aaron with the “hope” of him and Aphmau reuniting and I honestly don’t feel it is 100% earned. 

Ultima/ Werewolf 

This point isn't so much a critique on season 6 specifically but on the series as a whole. Aaron and his family being werewolves, being descendants of the ultima werewolf no less, came out of no where. Werewolves being introduced into the main plot could have been cool but instead the majority of it came off being rather cringey, specially in Phoenix Drop High. Anytime a werewolf would call Aphmau or Aaron “Alpha”, I could feel my skin crawl. The dealing of almost species based discrimination in season 6 was down right awful and Im not even talking about Aphmau wanting to be turned. The whole ordeal with the restaurant denying the werewolf pack service was over and dealt with as soon as it happened, The werewolves being hunted in season 6 because of the possibility they were an ultima and Katelyns reaction to Aaron being a werewolf seemed to come out of no-where. The idea of discrimination based on something someone can not control in a minecraft story could have been a way to teach younger kids a great life lesson but the majority of story lines involving werewolves were so half-assed, you cant even make a successful anecdote out of them. 

MCD/MS Connection

In the last season of MS, they really tried to shoe-horn in this connection with MCD which honestly creates nothing but plot-holes. A MS/MCD connection could have been a really cool concept and piece to see but its so rushed and forced, it just comes across as awkward and last minute. If the writers really did want to merge the two series or at least have them canonically exist in the same universe, they should have been setting it up from the first season. Overall, the two series are so vastly different from their environment to the characters that a complete mash up of the two would be so jarring. Just imagine Zane from MS meeting Zane from MCD or all of the MCD characters in a world without Wyvern, common use of ships, lords, and being introduced to the technology. A series combining the two would be fun and it would be fun seeing the characters interact and meet each other but it would need to be well thought out instead of just saying “and now here’s Irene and the demon warlock” which is what season 6 did. 

Dante/ Laurence

The Laurence curse strikes again but this time, its not just him. Since season 2, there has been a “tendency” to forget Laurence in the shows events. He was absent throughout Season 2 and again for Seasons 4,5 and 6. Dante, however, was very present in the first 3 straight seasons of the show. No one expected for him to disappear out of the blue ;) like that. Laurence disappearing could make sense, maybe Sebastian was booked up at the time or other personal reasons but Kestin voiced Zane and Eric throughout the show. Season 5 of the show I will cut some slack for forgetting them, It already barely made sense for how characters like Kai or Nate were there, but forgetting Laurence in Season 2 seemed odd. Dante and Laurence not only could have helped the “gang” but they could’ve provided some great entertainment and story lines but instead we got Ein ... again.

Ein

Eins rant will be shorter as while his character in season 4 did not leave much of an impact on me, his story could have been written leagues better. Eins story line and subsequent death was insanely fast. We got the spotting at the end of season 5 and a poorly done B plot throughout season 6. Ein is a fairly good villain with some decent potential, he could have been much more utilised. Ein served only to kill Aphmau then die. His character got walked all over. Literally. He caused such shit in season 4 and his death was a simple *stomp*. Are you kidding ? Everything could have been just ... better. Not only in regards to Ein but for the entire season. 

Closing Thoughts 

Overall the season was not good, in my opinion. Mystreet works much better as a episodic show like a slice of life anime, as a story driven series like a shounen it does not. If the rumours about a season 7 are true, I really hope it is at least a bit better than this one. It as a whole was a mess. To reiterate, this is meant as no attack on the writers or BluJay Studios but as a critique on this particular season. I love Aphmau and the Mystreet series but this was its low point. Thank you for sitting through my incoherent rantings about a minecraft show. :) have a great day/night !!

[eclipsewarrior101]

Age Swamp Au One shot 2:

Au characters and au belong to @safetayy

To Tame an Overtired Prince:

It had been three weeks since ex queen marcy’s defeat. Newtopia was recovering and things were needed to be fixed. Andrias of course since he was the heir took the challenges head on. He spend at least a few weeks in meetings, looking at laws and trying to fix the mistakes of his mentor. it was all fine and dandy....

actually...it was NOT

he barely slept and was always swamped with work. he was always trying to keep everyone happy no matter what. Lady Olivia always told him to rest but he was a stubborn kid and said he was fine. He also was trying to avoid his friends...he felt horrible for what he had put them through...he felt guilt and thought work would help. BUT hes a young teen who has been through trauma and has NOT and refuses to recover or even acknowledge it.  He knew the newtopians and the others were not happy with him and his mentors deception so he vowed to make them all happy even if it cost him his sleep and health. 

So Lady Olivia did what any good lady in waiting would do....he secretly sent a letter to his friends.

 “dear friends of Andrais, andrias despite being a sweet and hard working heir is a being a stubborn brat and is refusing to sleep despite him being up for 3 weeks straight with only 5 hours of sleep with a day depending on the day. He is gonna drop dead if he doesn’t get sleep. so please...HELP”

A few days later Andrias is getting ready for another business day. he had at least 6 meetings and was trying to read the letters they sent to understand the problems. 

meanwhile grime and hop along with the adults travel to Newtopia. Grime is trying to figure out how to do this. they knew andrais was stubborn and they knew he would fight them. grime had mentioned breaking in

“grime NO...we were invited...we are not breaking in”

they get closer to the castle and when he sees a guard grime decide to just sock them. Hop freaks out 

“GRIME!!!!” 

Lady Olivia greets them with a relieved smile “thank you for coming boys. i really need- ugh....lazy sleeping guards....anyway this way, he has NO idea you are here...hes in the another room” they follow as they look around as they do. many of the old tapestries were taken down and replaced. it seemed more calm in here. grime had packed a bag with a smirk...and hop just hoped andy would listen. they goes to the room and adrias is just a mess.

His hair and clothes were unkept. his eyes were sunken and he just looked so dazed and tired. he was going through one of dozens of scrolls around him. he sounded so hoarse and exhausted “so....so this law....this law sounds a bit wrong...hmm...cant cant fix it without...without a....” Lady Olivia lets them go in 

“ANDRAIS!!!!!!!”

he jumps and freaks out as he looks up, he couldn’t believe it. his friends....were here.

“Hopediah...Grime...what...what are you-”

“YOU are in big trouble andy...a little butterfly told us you need to sleeep and you look like crap...you are resting”

Andrais gives lady olivia a look “You didn’t....”

she sighs “i had no choice...have fun” she leaves and his friends smile with a smile that only meant trouble. he gulps “come on guys...lets be reasonable here...i really need to get my work done...cant we just”

grime brings out a rope “its either the easy way...or MY way....you will rest....” andrias gulps and then just runs for it....sleep deprived runs and the other two run after him and the sound of the boys yells can be heard

“I DON’T NEED SLEEP”

“STOP BEING STUBBORN”

“GRIME DONT HURT HIM”

“LET GO...IM FINE...HELP ME HELP”

“GET OVER HERE”

Meanwhile:

Granne and Sasha are talking with Lady oliva and hear the sounds 

“how long you think they will be”

“oh those two will get him to rest...andrias may be strong but grime is stronger and more stubborn”

a few moments later they see grime and hop holding a tied up andrais who is whining. 

“you idiot, we had to come all this way just to drag you into bed....your a dummy...but your our dummy. we were worried”

“hey...i...i am not...i was working....”

“yah...working yourself to death....look we know you wanna be a good ruler but you need rest too. we care about you”

“yah....you cant rule right if your falling over. a healthy ruler is a happy one”

andrias grumbles but can’t do much with his tied up body. he looks to the adults with pleading looks they only smile

“Get some rest boys”

andrias grumbles “...traitors...”

He still complains and squirms as they take him to his room. it was very dark and a bit cold

“sheesh andy...its freezing”

they set him down on the bed under some covers. he squirms and tries to get out

“ as nice as this is...i really need....i have so many...meetings and”

“uh uh...nope...your staying right here”

grime unties him but grabs him before he can leave and hugs him 

“GRIME come on”

“NOPE..we aren’t leaving til you fall asleep....you need to rest...right Hop”

Hop nods “uh huh....sleep is good for you and it helps you think better and you really look like you need it andy...please...rest....”

andrias groans as Hop and Grime hug him in place. andrias whines but he kinda feels warm. he tries to stay awake but his eyes grow heavy

“i...i ...n-need to...this is....hmm...n-nice...i (yawns) hmm” 

Hop hums a song and Andrais soon is fast asleep. grime and hop soon fall asleep too. They were soon cuddling up like little caterpillars in a warm blanket

Sasha and Granne are smirking and taking pictures as they whisper

“they are so adorable....”

“yes they are...these are being used as blackmail later”

“agreed”

they shut the door to let the boys sleep

so i hope you enjoyed that. thank you to @safetayy for help and their au Age swamp is on their account. its really cool. i may do more of theses one shots when i get inspiration. 

[word-addict-lisette]

Dear Lisette,

I am back in you inbox, yay! How was your day? How's life? How's school?

I am really mad because we had this piece of work and it was like "pen down your idea on this statement, 'i can do whatever i want on the internet as long as i don't get caught' and i put down my thoughts which were 'this statement is true, i stand by it and you can do whatever you like as long as you don't get caught and don't own up' and then people were like throwing shade at me and i looked at it. I have 5 comments.

My teachers tried to delete it, my classmates literally lectured me and then she read it out loud and the whole class went looking for that one note i made. In the comments, people are spelling my name in caps. It was my opinion, and oh, look all of them are basically hypocrites. Let me just say, these people make me uncomfortable, they don't talk about exactly nice things or approriate things and they are all commenting ( without names too may i add) like "KAT, THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK!" but with my real name and just arghhh.

Also if my teachers wanted me to say, "no, that isn't the right thing to do," or any other answer that the others provided them with, they shouldn't have asked for my opinion. They should have just forced us all to just type the same thing. The other people all wrote like, "no, its unethical and bad" or "False, no, its bad" and stuff like that, filmsy evidence and elaboration. I HAVE MORALS, i am just saying the truth. I feel like the victim of a hate crime. People don't like me enough already, i am a very intresting person, uh, yeah, we are gonna stop there.

Enjoy the rant i guess? I don't know? I am sorry for loading on you but there's a little extra rant so uh, yeah. im just gonna take this out, one sec.

Ok, so uh my teacher was like, next week, we are making pancakes. Fluffy pancakes. It was changed to pancakes without eggs? and now we have to make it ourselves, at home. Where do i get flour? What do i do with the extra flour? I don't know how to cook at all, my partner who has been extremely controlling and like kinda driving me insane, ( ahem i did the whole coursework) also she uses my friend's name for everything? Like, bestie i was literally helping out and you went all, "Oh you don't want (friend's name) to see you burnt right?". Obviously i don't but if i burnt down my house, she wouldn't be surprised. I BURNT MYSELF LAST YEAR, SHE SAW ME BURN MYSELF. Well, my friend burnt me and then the week after that, she burnt herself.

This happens a lot. Also, the very common questions and statements of, "Are you straight?" , "aren't you and (friend's name) dating?", "you guys would make such a cute couple" , " aren't you bi?" and "i thought the two of you were dating," there is nothing wrong with being bi but i am not attracted to her like that. So, they use her for leverage over me to get me to do what they want and also think im dating her? If we were dating, we would both be homeless. I like my house. This doesn't only happen with her. I once got shipped with my brother. I hugged him and some guy was like, "oh you guys like each other," that was awkward. Can i just add, a lot of people like majority of that community know we are siblings.

I also get shipped with his best friend, thanks to a rumor my brother made up. So, sometimes, i would get like comments like, "oh, you like him" or "(brother's name) told me that you and (brother's best friend) are dating," we are not dating. WE ARE JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. I LIKE A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. LEAVE ME ALONE. Also, everytime i have a picture of a guy on my phone or something my cousin just has to tell my brother. THEY ARE STREAMERS. ONE IS OF V FROM BTS SO I CAN TRAMATISE MY FRIEND.

Everytime i cry, someone comes in my room. It is so annoying. LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANT TO CRY. This is why i started reading sad books, listening to sad songs, watching sad movies so i have a reason to cry. There was this once, i wasnt selected to be part of my choir's competition and i was sad about it because i didn't feel good enough. THEY SAID I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. So, i cried but it wasn't enough so i read the saddest book i could find so i had a reason to cry but by that time, my feelings were gone. This is why i get breakdowns when im overwhelmed because of all this. You know how old i am. I have to deal with this and the pressure of always wanting to be perfect. What else can i do? I am not pretty or smart or talented or have friends, i have like 6 friends and nobody ever keeps me company. So, i focus on being perfect. 100%, i deal with not having any attention because my parents didn't pay me any attention just because i was "independent" or something?

Did i mention, i babysit all my siblings? I am the second child. I baby-sit my older brother. I am sleep-deprived because i can't sleep well at night and i constantly worry about everything and i have to take care of all my friends and it is so exhausting. Yet, i can not cry.

Thanks for staying with me through whatever that was. Uh, yeah, i took the quiz and got chaotic academia. That is my aesthetic. I really want one of those fancy skirts they wear like on pintrest and stuff? Like you know what i mean? The academia skirt? Yeah, i don't have one yet.

Question of the day, what is your dream profession or you could answer my other question which is what would you want to look like? Or you could answer both?

Ok, thank you again. i am gonna go study. Love and hugs and just literal joy sent your way!

- Kat, the ultimate dino mom of Leo, Billy Bob, Jessica, Sophie, Jackson, Sarah, Lily, the Micheals and all her other kids. (Jessica, Sophie and Jackson are mailboxes and Lily is a computer, Micheal is my screwdriver and laptop pencil, there are two micheals.)

Dear Kat,

It's really good to see you in my inbox. I'm sorry for replying late, but exams really had occupied my schedule today and I got my Saturday exam tomorrow. This week is going to be stressful and today's day has been pathetic. I had nothing to do except study and write exams. I feel like I haven't really been social recently and That I'm losing touch with people that I used to be close with and basically I'm letting overthinking take over my mind.

That is so sick. Why is someone's genuine opinion bothering them so much? I totally wouldn't be able to tolerate that. They ought to understand that there is a fine line between a fact and an opinion, and what you stated was just an OPINION. they have no right whatsoever to come at you like that. I totally agree... the teachers ought to have not asked for your opinion if all they desired was a particularly specific answer which opposed the statement. one of the reasons I hate the schooling system has to be THIS. people who are putting comments like that ought to realize that what you stated is exactly what they do in real life. They just want to be seen as the good kid here. At least you have the guts enough to speak the truth.

Miss! You don't have to worry about ranting out to me. You can rant to me for days and I'd still listen. Just go on ranting nobody is stopping you.

Ahhh! I've had that happen to me. I really understand how tough that can be. I really really hate being shipped with someone who I am just platonically friends with like you've got no valid proof to believe that we are romantically involved with each other. I've burnt myself plenty of times too. It's not a pleasant experience. Plus I also hate having controlling partners. Cause all they do is boss you around while they are barely doing a thing. It sucks.

Why? Just why? Why does it even matter to them? Who you date and what your sexuality is, is none of their business. I have no idea why people concern themselves with topics that really don't involve them. It's like people are just ready to make gossip out of anything. A person can't have a bestie without not liking them? I don't get what's so difficult to understand about that. I hate it when I'm casually talking to a guy and people start shipping us and start spreading rumors of us being in a romantic relationship. Another thing they do is, if a person likes me, they automatically assume that I like him back when I've barely even ever spoken to that guy. And yes! I like fictional characters! Don't even assume I like any of you fools cause You idiots bully me and ship me with total crackheads... And my standards are good enough for me to not include you guys in my list of *appropriate candidates* which consists of non-existent people.

Similarly, the moment I'm chatting with some guy, or like have a pic with someone on my mobile phone people just assume that fact that I'm crushing on him. Like no! I don't. We are friends... the others are celebrities, Why can't you understand that? I can't imagine how thick their skull must be considering they can't let a small statement like that sink in.

The crying thingy... I feel personally attacked. Nobody lets me do anything in peace, let alone crying. I literally use the washroom in my room and even my sister comes in there just banging on the door asking me to get the heck out of there and go somewhere else, like can't she use the other two washrooms or what? I like listening to sad stuff and reading angst cause somehow or the other it calms me down... it makes me feel at peace cause I know I'm not the only one who feels like crying. I've got a lot of friends, nobody remembers my birthday, I remember all of theirs'. They don't even text me, It's always me who takes the first step. All my friends just want me by their side cause I'm a smartass they want to show off as a trophy and cause I've got much better sarcasm than them. They just want to benefit from me. That's all. GOD, I'm not pretty at all. I look like a random idiot all the time. I look pathetic. And I lack talent... And you! I warned you, miss! You are pretty, beautiful, talented, smart, friendly, caring, kind and THE BEST!!!

I've never been given attention. Never ever. My sister has always stolen the spotlight. And I hate it. Not even my friends acknowledge me, my parents just ehhhhh. No matter how good I score, No matter how good I behave, No matter what. I'm just never good enough. My parents think of me as a rebellious kid. And I don't know what to do about that. All I've ever done is listen to them. My parents never allowed me to go out and play with my friends when I was a kid, they never let me go on overnight trips, and they barely let me spend time with the few friends I have. They never let me go to outings my school friends planned. Despite that, I never complained. I never had good friends because of that, yet I never complained. A lot of kids my age roam around in shopping malls by themselves, have sleepovers, spend money, roam around with tons of makeup on their faces, are in relationships, and even get into illegal shit. I've never done anything Like that. And yet... I'm never the good kid. I'm still the rebel.

I've got to take care of my sister almost every day. Get her to study, study myself, take care of myself while tolerating my grandmother. I really don't like my grandma, she s very fussy and just keeps yelling around the house the moment my dad and mom leave the house. I've got sensory overload because of her voice. And now I sit and have an anxiety attack almost every time she speaks. I've always got to strive for perfection as well. And I too can't sleep well at night just cause all the worries of the world, keep weighing me down.

Chaotic academia sounds good. It's the same aesthetic my sister got when I asked her to take the test! And oooh! Me too! I love those skirts and outfits they show on Pinterest. I'd love to have them someday.

My dream profession has to be that of a writer. Or perhaps even running a library. just something cozy. Ohh! I'd love to have brown hair, and I'd want to be tall just a little shorter than What I am right now. I just reached my father's height yesterday. And more or less, I'd like the rest to stay just as it is. and perhaps a lighter shade of skin tone. What about you though?

My question for you! If you were to be stranded on a beach island for a week. Who would you bring with you and how would you spend your time there. You can include whatever elements of nature you want to include like forests, lakes, and all.

Sending love, warmth, hugs, and whatever I have to spare that you would like to you!!!!

-Love from Lisette

P.S. That's an interesting family you've got, right there!

[moonlightjeno]

Also Luna, 8, 6, 31? Pretty please for Hyuck? 🥺🥺🤧

ahhh im sorry this took so long ! and that it isn’t as long as the other one 😔but i hope you enjoy it either way. 

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬: [1. college!au] + [9. meet cute] + [22.  “you never saw me.”]

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: f l u f f and full on crackheads

College since the day you walked through the gated doors had been a whirlwind of things you’d expected and new ideas and experiences that never seemed to fail to amaze you. 

You had always wondered if life did really change once one entered college or university people tended to have different names for the same thing all around the world. A slight inconvenience you thought, it didn’t really make much sense why one would name the same thing more than one way. But at the same time maybe people just wanted more options, to choose to be free of what they chose and what exactly they wanted to be to study. It made sense, just like you had managed to get into your top college, the majors and talents you would see around you never failed to amaze you.

What was the most surprising thing, well maybe not the most remarkable because it was something you had seen and read multiple times over and over again in movies and books. The overworked students, who would walk around zombie-like through campus that included you. you were waiting in line by the campus cafe, the all-nighter you’d had to pull to finish the paper on the history of music had worn you out. Which is how you found yourself at four am, in the cafe that was open at all hours of the day specifically for those students who would be in desperate need of an energy boost at late or early mornings.

The soft aesthetic of the place made you feel warm and comfortable, you visited and stayed in the cafe often enough that it had become a sort of second home.

The soft instrumental music that played in the background seemed to blend into your muddled thoughts as they replayed what Beethoven managed to do and compose at the age of... you couldn’t quite remember. you ordered your usually a hot chocolate with a shot of espresso; you weren’t one for straight black coffee, especially in the midst of winter. The barista looked like he was about to pass out, his dyed hair hanging low at his eyes, and you were almost sure that we would pass out while making your drink. the snap of your fingers in front of him seemed to wake him up from the light daze he appeared to be in as he hummed some melodic tune. it didn’t match the music that played in the cafe, which made you intrigued as to what song the boy was humming to himself, purple hair, and tan skin swaying from side to side.

“hot choco with an espresso shot,” the boy called from the counter, the two of you were the only ones in the cafe, and you walked over ready to pick up your drink.

“wait” the boy before you take the cup back, a look of confusion and slight disgust at your choice of beverage “why the fuck is their espresso in this?” you couldn’t help but laugh. you were pretty sure it was the sleep deprivation that was getting to you as you took the drink from his hands, “because some of us have got to finish essays at four am” you snapped back, humor scattered throughout your words. a little hmmph, and shake of your head is the response you get, but you don’t seem to want to leave just yet.

“but what about coke with syrup?” and now it’s your turn to look at him like he’s grown another head, “bro the fuck?”

“hey, if you can have chocolate with espresso then i can drink my coke and syrup if not” he pretends to go down the stairs behind the counter and you burst into laughter almost spilling your drink, “you never saw me”

you see, the purple hair appears a couple of seconds later in the middle of your fits of laughter, and now you really don’t want to go back to our dorm and continue working on whatever the fuck beethoven did.

"im y/n" your hand is outstretched.

"haechan" he wraps his own around yours, smile widening. 

dude, idk what this is but it’s a mess. i still hope you liked it even a lil. hugs to you. 

[desticuleconfessions]

hey desticule. so i have a supernatural-themed girl best friends story that i’ve wanted to share for a long time, especially because none of my irl friends ever rly understood the gravity of this experience w/o the context of spn. there’s a lot of fun parallels to stuff on the show, and its given me like years of brain rot and therapy lmao. so i really deeply appreciate this page as an outlet, thank you so much to the mods for making it. anyways uh. here goes. sorry it’s so long.

[tw: queer trauma, religious trauma, mental illness]

okay so. in 3rd grade i met this girl. we'll call her kate. we became best friends, as in our names were never spoken separately, we did (and won) every science fair together, she came skiing with my family every winter, i stayed with her family at their beach house in the summers, our younger siblings were friends, etc.

our birthdays were exactly 6 months apart (jan 22/jul 22) so we literally believed that we were celestially intertwined.

we wrote a novel together in 8th grade. her family is baptist, we attended massachusetts catholic schools. i would go to church with her family when i slept over, i held hands and said grace with them at meals. they are all tall and blonde and beautiful. classically angelic. i am south asian. i remember introducing her to harry potter in the 4th grade, her mother hadn't let her read em because it was "blasphemous", but i snuck her my copies and she would read them during lunch n recess and keep them in my locker. sorry this seems like a lot of unnecessary detail but it will be important later.

anyways we both got into doctor who and subsequentally supernatural (s1-8?9 at the time). i specifically remember getting her into supernatural. i also remember her instinctive disdain for destiel when i talked about it, i was showing her a meta or fanfic i think, and i talked her through undoing some of her christian household’s internalized homophobia (fully assuming we were both straight at this point) (we were fucking 12). we'd do the whole "bitch" "jerk" thing, i (the older one) affectionately called her 'sammy', her phone password was dean, mine was cas (and they still are). on my 13th birthday, she gifted me a samulet, which i still wear to this day. (additionally, she gave me a vonnegut 'so it goes' necklace one year) (thats not vital but) (goes to show the extent of my dean coding) (im also an aquarius lmao). im highly protective of her. i carry extra rubber bands on my wrist for her. i keep our money and phones in my jacket when the school takes us skiing. i sit next to her in the halls during lunch and organize her binder. on an 8th grade field trip, a boy made a gross comment at her and i broke his nose.

so we start high school together at coed catholic school nearby, i join debate, make a friend also into spn, she's bi. she asks kate out over text. kate's mom sees this. things turn.

now the rest of these things happened over the course of a couple months and due to my trauma memory loss, i have no idea how accurate some of these memories are so uh. don't hold me to them.

- her highly religious mother is not happy with this obviously. at some point, she brings a priest home and tries to have kate exorcised.

- at this point, we learn that kate is schizophrenic; it never seemed to create noticeable issues before bc her home life and childhood was a perfect happy dream (not an assumption, her words).

- she's still coming to school, sporadically now, i bring home her work, spend hours helping her.

- when she comes to school, she has seizures: sometimes we're fortunate enough that they happen in a class we have together. she freezes up and the teacher empties the room. i refuse to leave. i hold her hand and softly sing her favorite song and sometimes she comes back to me. sometimes she doesn’t and the bell rings and the teacher forces me to leave and let the nurse handle it.

- another time they announce a medical lockdown (to keep ppl out of the hallway if someone is being escorted to an ambulance) while im in catholicism class, i immediately know it’s her; she fainted in the pool during swim team practice.

- i stay awake for 6 days straight bc i read online that sleep deprivation induces some of the same symptoms as schizophrenia and if i could understand what she was going through, i could help her

- she shows up at my house w both of her parents 15 minutes before the winter ball, begs me to go bc her parents will only let her if i go. so i do. her mom lurks by the gym doors with the chaperones. during a slow song, kate and debate girl start to slow dance, i grab our friend’s hand, drag him in front of them so her mom can’t see and make out with him.

- i wanted to tell her to stop but i was too afraid i would lose us, that it would seem like i was homophobic or i was jealous, but i knew her in my marrow and it didn’t seem like she was in love or into the relationship, it was willful self destruction

- we talked in the last few years, she confirmed this.

- at some point, she says she’s sorry she didn’t tell me about the voices before.

- when we talk, she’s not her anymore, she doesn’t remember our inside jokes, our codes, i can feel her being slowly ripped away and apart in real time

- i have a vivid memory of arguing with her and her telling me im not real, that her mind made me up, while occasionally speaking to something? someone? else in the room. i hold her hand and point to the matching thin scars on our thumbs and try to convince her im real.

- she eventually drops out entirely, taken to some mental facility that im not entirely sure wasnt conversion therapy (it was definitely a religious facility) (and conversion therapy was not outlawed in new hampshire until 2019) and im not allowed to see her.

- every now and then i get cryptic distressing emails or texts from her.

- one in particular has the subject, “youandiwalkafragilelineihaveknownitallthistimebutineverthoughtidlivetoseeitbreak” which is the first line of the song ‘haunted’ by taylor swift (our shared favorite)(the summer after this happened we collectively decided we needed a new swift Our Song and chose ‘breathe’). the body of the email read ��what the hell have i done”

- i pray for the first time in my life, every single day for a few months, in different languages, at temple with my parents, in the chapel at school

- on a club trip, i get a call at 2am from her, crying, asking me why i didn’t help her, why i didn’t stop her, that it was my job to protect her

here’s something i wrote about her, three yrs after:

I wasn’t careful enough and she caught quickly. She burned so close and so bright that for long afterwards, I could not see. And like that, she was gone. I walked into the chapel. Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

[that last line is from the latin version for a catholic prayer called the act of contrition, it translates to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”]

in the fall, i hear she’s starting at a small baptist school almost an hour from her house. she is dating the principal’s son. the principal is also her pastor.

in my second year of college, i have a bad acid trip in a snowy park in december. i put my hands into the snow and when i look at them,i see blood. i see her body in the snow adorned like it’s a funeral

i still have dreams about her. sometimes i meet her in a grassy field, flying kites and i invite her to my wedding. in others, i catch a glimpse of her ponytail and catholic school skirt and chase her up eight flights of stairs and when i grab her hand, she turns to ash.

at some point in a separate argument w my parents in which they went through my texts and found out i wasn’t straight (amongst other things) my dad says:“i knew i should’ve listened to [kate’s dad] when he told me the things you would talk about. he knew what you are. and he took his daughter away from you.”

last christmas we met up and drove around together, she tells me that for years she thought i hated her for letting me down and for abandoning me, and i literally have the dean winchester in ‘sacrifice’ five stages of grief when sam says “you know what i confessed in there?” because i could not even begin to fathom that she ever blamed herself. it had always been my fault. i had failed to save her. i corrupted her and i failed to save her.

anyways she’s fine now, she’s okay, im okay, we’ve talked and unpacked and we’re alright. but uh. yeah. that happened. the parallels make me crazy. now they can make you crazy too.

‎

[thorsstorms]

Abroad Pt. 19

Summary: Being the Hemsworth Kids’ Nanny, you were vowed to keep it strictly professional for their sake, but do the stolen glances go unnoticed between you both?

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: y’all know I’m a bitch for angst by now right?

A/N: @hildehuffles this ones for you. ALSO. THE YOUTUBE CHANNEL IM TALKING ABOUT IS YES THEORY. I was in Venice a couple weeks ago, and felt like adding in a little get away like I had done. I told no one I was going and literately hopped on a plane with an Airbnb secured. #SeekDiscomfort also one of the best trips to LA I had ever taken. 10/10 recommend. 

Masterlist

Your eyes were glued to the generously sized television screen mounted on the wall, holding the flimsy bottle of water tight in your hands. The conversation took a swift turn with only a sentence spoken and it was the two of you dressed at the premier that was painting the background. You knew she was only doing this to tease him, and the sly comments he made in turn settled your nerves.

“So Chris… Who? Who‘s that?” His eyes were drawn to the monitor, not startled at all by her outburst but calm, with a telltale pink tint creeping up and a squinty eyed smile trying to stay buried.

The crowd whoops in retaliation.

He stayed silent a moment more, staring at the monitor, thinking of a way to answer until the crowd calms down. The comedian looks mischievous, obviously taking pride in his suffering though she knows exactly who you are now. The crowd doesn’t need to know that detail. She only means to tease, it’s who she was!

He folds his hands, rubbing them together before simply saying, “I have never seen that woman in my life.” Obviously joking. 

“Oh come on!” she pushed, glowing eyes with a smile stretching across her cheeks.

“Yea, yea. That is my girly-friend, you could say. It’s-It’s weird to say that because I feel like she’s more than just a girlfriend, you know?” He glances again back at the large picture behind him before running a hand down the side of his face, focusing back forwards. He knows you are just watching the screen, glued to the screen at that, in the green room. He didn't know what you were thinking! It could go one of two ways in his mind. Absolutely silently losing your mind or laughing in retaliation to his discomfort of not knowing what to say. Hopefully the latter.

“Oh! I know.” She jokes, full on laughing at him while he smirks but stares daggers playfully. She knows you were more than just a girlfriend in his mind now, but how could he resist the shot of you meeting and hugging Ellen Degeneres and not stick the ring up and snap a photo of the moment while you were faced away? She was a trustworthy person, or so he hoped. Not proven wrong so far.

“Okay, Okay,” she settles herself. “So tell me, where did you find her?” She was keen to the details.

“Uhh- The internet,” he says without missing a beat. You almost choke on your own spit at his fast response, not knowing whether to laugh or crawl into a hole. But the crowd loved it, laughing. He sure got a kick out of the response, thinking he, himself, was funny. Loser.

“You are joking.” Ellen says, dead panning him.

“No, no really. My, uh, my manager found her for me.” He continues on, deceiving the crowd. Depriving them of the whole truth.

“Oh my god, Chris,” you mutter to yourself in the quiet room. Ellen got a kick out of that even more, stopping him from continuing down this road. He obviously was not going to give straight forward answers.

“Okay, okay.” She switches to a different question. “So…” She dragged out for an effect. Maybe just to make him squirm.

“Oh no,” he mumbled. She just had a look, a look that told that she had so many wrong questions under her sleeve.

“You filming something Chris?” The crowd slowly grew to giggle when he didn’t answer. Just stared her down trying not to react.

“Do you have, like, anything I can answer?!” He burst with a chuckle, wiping his palms on his thighs. “I’m just in town, and agreed to come see you and you treat me like this!” His smile was bright while she muttered apologies, laughing at his distress.

The interview eventually calmed down, them playing a rapid fire game afterwards. You finally settle into the couch to watch the interactions.

That was so not as bad as it could have been. He knew what he was doing during interviews anyway, or you had hoped.

~

You slept in the next morning, only waking to acknowledge that he was leaving for the day. This was a free day to yourself and sleeping in as long as you wanted seemed like the best way to start.

He left you with a mere kiss on the nose before he trudged out the door. The night before was yet another dismissal and it left you flustered and annoyed as all get out, so the day to yourself was the best present around.

Regardless of how much you thought you wanted a calm day, you were texting him by noon, telling him you were bored. By the time he replied, a mere 45 minutes later you were already sucked into YouTube. You found a new channel that piqued your interest and were easily four videos in.

“Sorry princess. Come with me tomorrow?”

You read the preview and sighed, ignoring it for the moment and pressed play on the video again. These guys in the videos were entertaining... inspiring, even.

By the time the fifth video started, their names were easily remembered. What sparked interest even more was the fact that they are based out of Venice Beach, a mere 45 minute drive through LA, on a good day at least.

The video of them walking the sidewalks interviewing strangers that were bold enough to go on an adventure made you want to feel the same sun they were obviously surrounded in. The couch had been your home for the last hour, a window open to let in some light, shining gold streaks through the room, but it wasn't enough.

The rules that plagued yourself were on a repeat in your head as you clicked on another video, then another, and another. You were not supposed to be spending too much time staring at a screen. You weren't supposed to drive, or go out on your own because you are still healing. You're not supposed to be in such sunny areas it could hurt your eyes still. Don't do this, don't do that.

It is suffocating. Infuriating that the list of long don'ts probably repeats through Chris’s head like a mantra, that's why he won't touch you. That's why he won't let you touch him.

Anger slowly flowed through your mind as you started to lose focus on the video playing. You closed the app and opened google maps, staring at the words ‘Venice Beach’ in correlation to where you were stuck inside, across the city. It was like torturing yourself. A silent battle of wanting to just go, go and then think about it later.

You slowly rolled your shoulders back as you sat up on the cushions of the couch that were not as comfy as you had hoped. The time on the lock screen taunted back at you. You could go and make it back in enough time to be home before Chris got back. You scoffed at the thought. He wouldn't be happy, but you were an adult. A very capable adult who can make their own choices. Staying in your bubble of Byron almost makes you forget your own sense of independence. He doesn't get to decide what you can and can't do.

The bathroom light shone a tad brighter than the natural lighting in the living room, eyes squinting quickly at the flush. You moved to the sink to wash your face, pulled a hair tie to braid your hair, and picked out some clothes.

Double checking for your wallet and phone in your purse brought on second thoughts. You never answered his text. He probably wouldn't notice for a while anyway. You pushed away the small ache of neglect that settled inside, it wasn't his fault. He was working. It’s when he wasn't working, that's when brush offs hurt the most.

Checking your makeup again in the mirror to make sure the covering was adequate over the blueing bruises, you made your way out, pulling the door behind you after ordering an Uber to Venice.

Los Angeles wasn't all the glitz and glam that movies made it out to be. You learned that pretty fast last time you all had been here, with the kids. Having a temporary place in Burbank meant crossing the city often, though a quick commute for Chris. The studios were not but a 6 minute drive away. Ideal, yes. But fun, no.

The drive seemed quick, the driver was slightly chattier than what you thought was normal but you were not complaining. You may have just had a week with more adult action than you’d had in the last few months combined but you were never one to be impolite. You didn't say much, only that you've never visited Venice before and didn't know why, so you just said ‘why not?’.

When the vehicle came to a stop and a moment of regret flushed forward, but you pushed it back quick. Going by yourself was not the worst thing in the world. How else were you going to be able to see what you wanted to see? You didn't know anybody here in L.A. other than Chris. It wasn't like you could call Miley up and ask her to stroll around town with you. Well, you could. But - not like this.

You adjusted your own sunglasses as you walked the last block towards the water. The art on the walls were bright and gave off calm vibes. A skateboard whizzed past you quickly, catching you off guard. You sidestepped to the right of the sidewalk and watched him ride past you and others, closer towards the shops. Clutching your bag closer to your body, you continued, rounding the corner to what was familiar from the videos you had been so enamoured with.

Towering palm trees. Bikes, so many bikes. So many skateboards. You looked around a moment after making sure you were out of the walk way, admiring the ease of the people around. The skatepark up on the hill and the art lining the sidewalks it was all what you hoped to see from the video.

The shops were cute, making your way through a few. So many surf shops and all you could think about was guilt that Chris didn't know you left the apartment. Everything reminds you of him. A fire fight started in your brain - consisting of respect you had for having a partner versus having a sense of independency. You didn't have to disclose every footstep, you never expected him to, at least.

The spiral of your thoughts continued as you strolled across the sidewalks, leaving behind the shops. You took a seat in the grass overlooking the busy basketball courts and pulled your phone out. Ignoring the warmth on your shoulders from the sun, you checked for any notifications and were met with none.

Did you have a right to feel the way you were feeling at the moment?

Was it selfish? Was it hormones? Forget that.

But were you chalking it up to be something more, just a spiral of thoughts when he wasn't there to discredit them? Your clouds caused a moment of zoning out as you pondered.

You both spent all day yesterday together, he even made you dinner, working in the kitchen with music playing while you watched him from the couch. Admiring and happy to see him. A glint in your eyes that stayed, unsubdued. A girl can't help but be worked up when she had gone so long without him, pregnancy hormones were no help to the cause. All you wanted was for him to acknowledge what you had been repeatedly showing off.

You were horny.

There was no other way to put it. And a healing head injury was not going to magically make the want disappear, even if it seemed to have made the want disappear from himself. The thought made your stomach clench, remembering when he turned around and caught you staring at him with lustful, shameless eyes.

He knew the look. He knew it very well. But what happened when his eyes met you made your blood run cold, your feet quickly allowing you to leave the room so the hitch in your breath wasn't caught by his ears.

He had looked away from your gaze with a sigh, turning his back to you. Another word didn't leave his mouth until he had come to find you in the bedroom to tell you that dinner was ready. He stopped himself from pushing open the door when he heard you talking. The sadness in your voice, clouded with tears as you spoke to whoever was on the other line.

“We had such a good day, I had such a good day,” you corrected. “But, but I just-” you stopped a moment, taking in a shaking breath to gather your thoughts. He looked at his feet, bowing his head when the upset nature of the phone call settled in his mind.

“I just miss him so much Bri, and I feel like he just doesn't see me. I feel -”

Your speech was cut off by yelling through the line of the phone. You sucked in a breath and it came out in a shudder, trying to calm your own emotions. He didn't know what she was saying but it silenced you. He felt heavy with guilt that he was the source of your anguish. He needed to stop being weak. He was scared to hurt you but here he was, causing you pain repeatedly until he was the source of your tears. He didn't know if you were crying or not, but he could feel the pain and confusion behind your words.

You started to wrap up the call. A sting of “I know”s and “Okay”s spilled off your tongue and he made his way back to the kitchen, hoping you wouldn't feel upset if you knew that he was listening.

He stood plating the stir fry when you made your way back into the room with a grim smile, peaking at him and muttering ‘thank you’.

You remembered how he led you to the couch and played a random movie on the TV while you ate. He pulled you close to him when you both cleared you plates. The rush that had flooded through you made you blush. You sat there snuggled to him for almost an hour before you both headed to bed and he didn't touch you again.  He said all the right things, but words were hard at having such a meaning when his actions were iffy.

“I love you.”

“I'm glad you're here with me.”

“I missed you.”

“I love you, so much,” he would say with a rub on your arm.

A small kiss to your temple and you rolled on your side away from him, closing your eyes. Unbeknownst to you, he felt a bit of his heart break away when he watched you reach for the blankets and tug them to your shoulders, seeking them out for warmth rather than himself.

The empty notification screen mocked you, clicking the phone off once again. You looked up at your surroundings to admire the feel. It was busy, but not uncomfortably so. The skatepark behind you was bustling, and so were the basketball courts in front of you. But right there, where the grass was a soft green and you leaned against the raised plateau behind you, it was serene. Fairly quiet for the crowd around, but it was as if the sound didn't carry. The seagulls above were gliding, and the faint clicks of skate wheels hitting the ground blurred into the background noise of music coming from the shops.

It was a good spot to think. Something you have alway done far too much of.

The buzz in your hand had you snaping your head towards it, a dull ache spreading down your neck at the swift movement. The message had you jumping to your feet, making your way to the corner where you were dropped off.

“Almost done here. In the mood to go out for food?”

~

He beat you home, only by a minute though it seemed. As you were stepping out of the car and thanking the driver, your phone started ringing. You declined, tossing it into the mess of a purse you had as you made your way inside to the elevators, favoring talking to him in person instead.

The ride up seemed to go by faster than any other time before, allowing your nerves to revv in the light of Chris possibly being upset. The padding of your shoes made it to the door, your hand pushing it open.

His eyes met yours when the door opened and unsurprisingly the first words out of his mouth were, “where were you?”

“I just needed to get out for a bit,” you acknowledged lightly, setting your purse on the counter tops. You didn't meet his eyes, turning your back and digging for your phone. His voice was laced with curiosity, not expecting you to not be there when he arrived, even if you were only off by a mere minute or two.

“Where did you go?” He asked, keeping his feet planted. You turn to see him. He truly had just gotten here, a bag still thrown over his shoulder and shoes still on his feet. His brows furrowed as you met his eyes and then diverted from them again, absentmindedly rubbing your temple where bruises were covered.

“I went to Venice Beach, I haven't been there before and I just want to walk aro-”

“How did you get to Venice? Did you go by yourself?” He worried on with a malice tone. Your ears were growing red as he spoke.

“Yes I went by myself, who else would I have gone with?” You hissed at him. You could already feel your hands shaking. You knew you had worked yourself up today while you were out and were just waiting for the point to start a fight. Still completely confused on whether he deserved it or not, but you were beyond frustrated.

“I don't know anybody here! I have one friend who I barely see! Yes! I went by myself. I needed to be around people. I'm lonely!” You raised your voice at him. He stepped towards you with his hands out when your defense shot up. You crossed your arms around yourself protectively, delivering a sign of needing to be comforted, even if by your own arms.

“I'm sick of being by myself!” You told him as he grew closer, watching with pained eyes as you laid it out for him. “I just - God I don’t know. I just - I needed to get out and do something.”

“Hey,” he calmed. “Im right here.”

“No, Chris!” You pushed his outstretched hands away from your own. “You're not.” You took a deep breath while he stood speechless, catching an eyeful of the hurt you were carrying on your shoulders.

“Princess,” he pleaded, waiting for you to take a look at him but your eyes were wandering to any surface but his.You couldn't get the right words out to say. It had always been like this when you grew frustrated, your own vocabulary runs from your thoughts. You grew silent as a tear finally fell from your eyes but was quickly wiped away by his own fingers. When you didn't protest his touch he took that as a good sign. He muttered your name in surrender.

“What do you want me to do?” He watched for a reaction. “Tell me what I can do.” He was at a loss. Spending more time apart than together was a strain that was eerily familiar and it pressed down on him so hard he was ready to beg for understanding. He wanted to understand what he could do to make this better but what you said next caught him off guard, rendering him silent and confused.

“Do you love me?”

His eyes burned at the yearning of your question. The watery eyes that flicked to his in search of an answer. His lips were dropped open at the turn of events this evening had taken. He thought about this evening all day. He was going to let you choose the place for dinner and shower you with dessert, with love, and affection to make up for what he had overheard. He wanted to show you the beautiful diamond that had your name written all over it and ask a very important question.

He was too quiet, mulling over how he had gotten to this point while you stood with uncertainty, continuing on your quest of finding answers.

“I know I'm starting to look different,” your head bowed at the revelation that he might not like what he sees. “And we are so far apart alot, but I'm still me.”

He spoke your name, drawing himself from his silent trance, wanting you to stop now and not speak another incredulous word.

“My face,” you whispered sadly. “It will go away in a little bit...” The whole in your chest was opening, grabbing a hold of your voice and refusing to let another word out.

“Baby, stop,” his words filled the empty void when yours ceased. He eyed a hand of yours making its way to your neck, a sign of discomfort. He stopped it in its tracks and pulled you to his chest.

His arms cocooned you, holding you far too tight to be comfortable, but you needed it. To feel he was there and there with you. He pressed you head to his chest with the revelation of disregarding his own hesitancy of somehow hurting you with his touch. His heartbeat melding with your own as you froze, slowly melting your guard until tears wet his shirt.

If his goal was to keep you from harm, he failed. It was proven when you released the tension from your shoulders against his grip. His words repeated until you showed signs of listening. Words of reassurance and love. Words filled with apologies and pleads for you to forgive him for causing you this pain. He was naive to think of you in such a way. To make up a version of yourself that was weak or fragile. He lost sight of the fire you have in your veins when happiness emits from your aura. The glow you have when your body shakes from laughter. The strong independent girl that rounded the corner of his kitchen and introduced herself without a glitch of uncertainty. But here you were asking for reassurance and he knew it was his own fault.

You cried in his arms, letting him carry your weight from the room before he sat down on the bed and let you take a moment to breathe, curled atop his knees and listening to his voice.

“Hey,” He said, lifting a hand from your shoulder to run over his face, drying the wetness that plagued his own skin. “You are so beautiful that it takes my breath away. Perfect. And I mean in every sense. You will always be perfect. Princess I never want to hear you say those words again. You are so perfect. And always will be. We have a little baby growing.” You took a deep breath, picking your head off his shoulder and reaching down to lay a hand over the swell in your tummy.

“A baby!” He said, laying a hand over your own, though waiting for you to meet his eyes again. “You will look different, princess, and I will be here and love every single minute of it. I promise. No doctor appointments with Bri, I will be here. And this,” He brushed your hair away from your face, fingers lingering against your scalp. Your head tilted up and basked in the touch.

“This I take responsibility for. It eats me up inside, but you still take my breath away. Every time, and always will.” He watched as you looked at him and listened intimately to what he was saying. “And I want to be the person you go places with. You can go alone if you like,” he added, “but I will never not want to be by your side. Do you understand me?”

You look on a second more, gauging his expression and contemplating his words before you nod. “No more tears, please.” His hands moved to cradle your face, thumbs clearing the skin and in a flash his lips met yours. Filled with promise, he kissed you like you wished he would for days. You craved his taste and was letting you have it, finally feeding into the small fire in the pit of your stomach.

“I love you so much,” he whispered against your lips.

“I have something I want to show you,” he admitted, pulling away. A deep, clarifying breath escaped your lungs and he rubbed your back in turn, reaching in his pocket for his phone with the other hand.

His fingers fumbled across the screen, having to reenter the password twice. You looked away and laid your head into the crock of his neck, closing your eyes. Whatever it was, surely it could wait while your heart mellowed to a regular pace.

The peace was cut short when he whispered your name again, drawing your eyes open. He pushed his phone from his hand and into yours.

“There’s an album right here with your name on it.” You looked on at his camera albums listed on the bright screen. “And I want you to look through it.” He was certain with his words, urging you on.

“Why?” you asked, looking back up at him.

“I love you so much princess, I just want to show you, I want for you to know it and never question it again.” His sincerity was clear, nodding back down towards the phone in your hands. You opened it without a word and clicked on a photo. It was nice, from a few months back, but neither you nor India were looking towards him. She sat in front of you on the kitchen counter, clearly way past her bedtime. Both of you sneaking a bowl of ice cream but what stood out was the smile adorning both of your faces. Crazy hair and slightly sunburned cheeks laughing at each other. You remembered the night clearly, both of you having a private running joke to see how much ice cream you both could eat before Papa notices and “makes us eat salad for dinner”.

You sneaked a look up at him after glancing at the photo, “You know we sneak ice cream all the time, right?”

“Sure do,” he laughed in return. “Keep going.”

You looked back down at the phone and swiped to see another. A photo snuck from the doorway while you rested your head in your hand, elbows on the table as you watched the boys write something out on some paper in the homeschool room, reaching out with the other hand to point at something on Tristans’ sheet.

The next one was you sitting at the foot of the couch while India stood tall above you trying to put a braid in your locks while Sasha sat on your legs with a book in his hand. It was serene, calm. You pressed down on the picture to watch the Live, a short clip of fingers tangling in your hair and Sasha's voice reading aloud. You stifle a smile at it.

The next made you suck in a breath. You were sleeping in his bed at home, the sheet barely covering you. The curve of your back disappearing into the sheets, obviously sleeping in the nude, unaware of the camera pointed at you.

“Chris!” You teased, looking at him. And smirked and shrugged his shoulders, encouraging you again to continue. You brought your attention back to the photos, swiping through more and more. There were many and you kept going at a steady pace until another caught your eye.

You brought the screen to your eyes to examine it, brows furrowing in curiosity. Sasha’s room, although slightly messy, was easily recognizable as you lounged on the bed in the background, lying next to the boy.

Fingers trapping a small ring with an identifiable glow thrusting off the jewel perched atop. The pads of your fingers zoomed in on the object, at the same time, fairly sure your lungs stopped working.

You quickly swiped to the next picture, though the same ring adorned the foreground.

This time you stood against the bathroom counter brushing out your hair.  The circle of jewelry resting around his own finger, reaching just below the first knuckle before it got stuck. You stared at the daring ring, resisting the urge to look at the man whose chest was pressed against your shoulder, whose arm rested across your back, rubbing gently, urging for you to continue.

You covered your mouth at the next one, fingers resting across your lips in astonishment. The bare skin of your shoulders were accented by the waves of your hair falling over them. Eyes closed, rested against his chest in search of sleep. He was cheeky, smiling in the photo, showing off a glowin diamond on a ring far too small for his own fingers.

The next picture was another of the same nature. Then a photo of you reaching for a glass in the kitchen. One of you sleeping on a plane. One of you naked, behind the blurred glass of the shower doors. One of you staring intently at your phone while standing at the counter. One of you standing in the mirror, examining, no - admiring the form of your growing baby.

You knew Chris was up to something, fidgeting after taking that photo, looking guilty as all get out. A brief watery laugh escaped as you reached that one.

The next was hilarious, Ellen with her face over your shoulder, with a surprised look, staring right at the camera. She knew!

You looked up at him, waiting for an answer to these photos. He just smiled and nudged you till you finished. There were more, a few more, as recent as this morning before he snuck away to go to set.

“It’s for you, love,” his voice whispers against the skin of your neck, lowering his lips to press a kiss where he knows you melt no matter the circumstance. An arm tightened around your back as he leaned forward and reached under the mattress, pulling a hidden box from the crease. You glazed at it as he switched hands and then brought it to you, flipping it open.

It was there, in person and not in a photo, demanding attention is the slyest of ways. It was beautiful, extravagant with an essence of simplicity. Words were caught in your throat as you stared at it, slowly blurring from your vision from unwelcome tears.

“Will you marry me?”

[justepilepsy]

hi! i dont have epilepsy (or any kind of seizures) but i have an oc who does. do you have any tips on how to make it more realistic/respectful? ive tried to research a lot but im sure ive missed some things. (he has tonic-clonic and absence, and then eventually the tonicclonic goes away and goes into myoclonic, but im not even sure if thats accurate how it works?) thanks!

Hello Anon,sorry for the late answer, but first of all I think it’s great you want to strive for accurate representation.

I think important would be how the eventuality of seizures would influence your OCs decision making. Also deciding what triggers your OC’s seizrues is important. If there are direct triggers at all.TRIGGERS and Build-Up:I dare to say, that I think a general audience and for writing it would be more deductable and stringent to have your OC have triggers that raise the risk of having a seizure/ or other epilepsy side effect.So when you character gets e.g. not a lot of sleep for a couple of days, because they also have to do nightwatch in turns, this may cause them to have a seizure down the line. You could use those little daily occurances that don’t seem like a big thing to others “OC hadn’T slept well the last  nights.”“Now it was OCs turn to stand watch while the others got a bit of sleep”

(obviously my writing is not great here, but I hope you get what I mean). In normal instances these sentences would be throw-away lines. With your OC, if a trigger for them is sleep deprivation/irregular sleep pattern, this can foreshadow the upcoming seizure or absence.So choosing the circumstances that raise the risk can be extremely important for the story and your character.I have times where i can power through for 2 weeks straight with 5-6 hours of sleep and 12+ hours of work, HOWEVER after that i will most likely have more migraines and barely be able to do anything but sleep and play a few video games for a week or so.I know a lot of people function fine on 6 hours of sleep regularly. I really don’t. I NEED my 8-9 hours. Your character could also be very stressed by their effort to avoid any trigger as possible. (I once had a panic attack because I was so stressed by a social situation that could have ended up forcing me into a position of “Having to have fun” whille the strobes flash around me...)DECISION MAKINGSo, your character will constantly have to make decisions. When chronically ill you have to constantly ask yourself: “How many spoons do I have today and can I afford to do this with this many spoons?” (I recommend looking up spoon-theory if this does not make sense to you).For a person with epilepsy, they will most likely base their decisions on “will this make me have a seizure?” “Will this put me at risk of having a seizure?”“do i have medication with me?”“do i have enough medication left for.. a week/month etc)”“Do i have money for new medication/ treatment?”“Can I risk having a seizure in front of the people I’m with?”“Can I tell others about my condition, or will they judge and resent me and hate me or abandon me for being a liability to them?”“Will my new friends be grossed out or scared if I have a seizure in front of them?”“Can I go to this event without having a seizure? How likely is the risk? What do i do if i have one?”LIFESTYLEDepending on setting etc, but a lot of epileptic people carry spare medication, emergency meds and/or other things with them, that will help them in case of a seizure or a risky situation. Maybe the character chooses to not share their condition with anyone and will make up reasons and lies to not attend risky events. Just to not admit that they have a medical condition.

Maybe the OC is very open about it and cracks jokes about it themselves? (This I think would be very hard to write and pull off correctly without off-putting others)

They will most likely not drink alcohol.

FEARS AND WORRIES

Sometimes the fear is not the seizure itself, but the results of having it.If you’ve been seizure free for a long time, you have worked to regain a lot of control and freedom of personality. Loosing this freedom again with just having a single seizure, can be a frightening thought.

MEDICATION

Is your OC on medication? Is the medication working? Is it reducing the seizures to a minimum or are they even gone completely as long as the meds are taken regularly?

There are many areas to cover here, but in  general I’d like to  see a character in fiction, that not just “has epilepsy” but who really has to live with the condition. Where it’s not just a plot device, but a factor that will play heavily into how the character acts and makes their decisions. Because wether i want to admit it myself or not, I know a lot of my decisions are not just based of my morale, my drive or my beliefs, but also on “can I fucking actually do this without dancing on the floor?”This of course is an incomplete list and can be added on to by others.I can really recommend searching up communities like the #actually epileptic tag on tumblr to just get a gist of how diagnosed folks think and interact with their epilepsy.I’ve seen many different ways that people cope with it, and there is not real right or wrong. Some people see it as part of themselves, others as a thing that has latched on to them and drags them down every now and then. 

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D

[jichew]

bang yedam ♡ soft love song

pairing: gender-neutral character x bang yedam

genre: fluff

a/n: so this is kind of different than the bullet point fics i usually write, so i’m kind of iffy on posting this,,, but i’ve been wanting to write a rocker!yedam fic since i heard hard lov song so here we go!! i actually based this off of the vibe of hard love song, but then i read the lyrics halfway through writing this and i realized how angsty it was?? so i just ended up doing this and im kind of basing it off of yedam’s song u. enjoy!!

bang yedam. a name you’d only ever associate with good things. things like color coded notes and perfect grades and being early to class. a star studded student whom you’d only ever spot between the worn shelves of the library or at the front of your calculus class. there was an air of intrigue that surrounded bang yedam. a pronounced sense of anonymity, one could argue. he was top of the class, that much was evident. but everything else seemed a mystery. and it was almost like no one seemed to notice. except you.

perhaps it was for those reasons and more that you found the corners of your lips turning up as you entered the dimly lit bar that friday night. because on the stage, a guitar positioned around his torso, stood bang yedam. you had always considered the possibility that bang yedam lived a double life. something like hannah montana. straight a student by day, rock band guitarist by night. that had a nice ring to it, as well.

you couldn’t help but notice the air of confidence that surrounded him. this doesn’t go to say that bang yedam was not a confident person. it’s more so the idea that perpetual sweater paws and bangs that are long overgrown don’t exactly scream confidence. but under the neon blue lights, it seemed as if bang yedam was the only person in the room. perhaps, the only person in the world. his bangs were parted at the middle, slightly matted to his forehead with sweat. his eyes almost seemed to sparkle under the lighting, or perhaps that was merely because this was your first time not seeing them behind a curtain of bangs. the sleeveless top adorning his torso highlighted his biceps, toned with the constant strumming of his guitar. maybe it was a bit superficial of you to take into account his looks. then again, it’s only fair to appreciate a man who looks so ethereal while playing guitar.

but most of all, you were enraptured by his voice. a sweet sound that rose and fell at all the right moments. a unique tone that made everyone stop what they were doing and look in awe upon the teenage boy on stage. a melody that seemed to encase your body in its warmth, tendrils entering every accessible part of you and rewiring your brain to only think “bang yedam, bang yedam, bang yedam”. and maybe something in the air allowed for him to hear your thoughts, because right then, he lifted his head. between his drenched bangs and the throng of people scattered in front of you, bang yedam found your eyes. and he winked.

                                                           ~

it wasn’t until later that night, after the soles of your feet had long been worn out from dancing, that you decided to seat yourself at the bar. your friends were still going strong on the dance floor, attempting their own rendition of swan lake as a folk tune played from the speakers above. and perhaps you would’ve gotten back up to join them if it wasn’t for the presence that took up space in the seat next to you. looking over, it seemed as if bang yedam was a juxtaposition personified - silver hoops lining his ears and biceps on display, yet his face wore a shy smile, head tilting to cover his eyes with his bangs yet again. it was an endearing sight, you could admit that much.

“uh.. hey.. you’re in my calc class right?” he asked, with the slightest tilt of his head, body leaning towards you. you almost giggled at the shy tone of his voice. it was cute.

“yup.. thats me”

“ahh.. “ he awkwardly bobbed his head in what seemed to be a nod “well my name’s bang yedam”

“i know who you are” you finally let out a giggle, head turning to fully face him. his mouth was slightly open, eyes wide. and suddenly he was leaning back, head fervently nodding, almost as if you had just said the most interesting thing he had heard all day. you found this cute as well.

a drop of silence fell between you two. in which the both of you chose to stare straight ahead, one thinking of what to say next and one quite content just sitting idle. it wasn’t awkward, though. more so the silence that occurs when snowflakes blanket the ground in white. a silence indeed, but an easy silence. a comfortable white noise.

“so... can i get you something to drink?” he suddenly turned towards you, head shaking so his bangs allowed for a sliver of his eyes to be visible.

“you know we’re underage right?” you deadpanned.

“ahh... right” he turned his head back to hide the rosy color that slowly found it’s way to his cheeks at the realization of his statement. “you want some water?”

it was at this moment that you knew you liked bang yedam.

                                                           ~

the next six months seemed to pass by in a frenzy of schoolwork, sleep deprivation and too many late nights at the bar. most of all, your next six months were accompanied by none other than bang yedam. after a week or two, you made it a habit to come to the bar every friday to see him and his band play. and every single friday, you both sat side by side at the bar and talked through the night. sometimes he would walk you to the nearest convenience store before he called a taxi for you. other times, on earlier nights, he would walk all the way to the bus and ride to your neighborhood with you, despite his home being in the exact opposite direction.

at first glance, bang yedam seemed cold - an unattainable mystery. he seemed like sharp edges and strict parents and classical music. but oh, how different he actually was. it seemed that the more you hung out with him, the more you realized just how misconstrued your ideas of him actually were.

bang yedam is soft. bang yedam is gummy smiles and checkered sweaters and hot chocolate that’s way too sweet for the average human being. and perhaps food preferences are the best reflector of a person, because bang yedam is too sweet for his own good. he doesn’t mind spending hours at the library teaching you how to integrate. and he doesn’t mind buying you a coffee every wednesday morning, never forgetting how you like your order. he also cries a lot. like the time he found out his friend was being redistricted to another school, he cried for hours into a vat of chocolate ice cream while you let your fingers comb through his hair. (it was kind of funny, because, after about a week of phone calls, his friend ended up staying at the same school anyway)

bang yedam is also confident. all combat boots and leather jackets and shiny electric guitars. if you didn’t consider him such an integral part of your life, you would probably be another fangirl of his and call him hot. but then again, having a crush on him wasn’t any better.

                                                             ~

you wouldn’t consider it to be a surprise - your crush on bang yedam that is. he was just one of those boys that was easy to crush on. the perfect mix of kind and attractive and smart and all things in between. often times, you allowed yourself to daydream of the prospect that he liked you back. a daydream in which the notes he left in your backpack were more than just reminders to ‘get your ass out of bed and do work’ and the smiles he sent you from the stage were more than just friendly. but more often than not, you would shut down these thoughts, because having bang yedam as a friend is something you wouldn’t compromise for love.

and perhaps, for that very reason, you found it odd that bang yedam invited you to the club that friday night. you had always thought that a silent agreement had formed between you two that you would be present at his gigs every friday, so when you received a text that read “be at the bar, friday at 6 pm xx -yedam” you were a bit confused. nonetheless, you zipped your boots up to your ankles and walked the distance to the bar. opening the door, you were surprised when you were met with complete darkness. checking the time on your phone, you found that it was only 5:56 PM. the bar shouldn’t be closed at this time?

before you could move to do or say anything, a single blue light came on above the stage. and standing below, guitar in tow, was none other than bang yedam. it was silent for a second and you couldn’t quite make out his face under the dim lighting. as you were about to say something, a light melody started playing from his guitar. that’s when bang yedam started singing. there was something a little more ethereal about him tonight. perhaps it was the fact that he was standing on stage, yet he was uncharacteristically wearing an oversized sweater. perhaps it was the tone of his voice, something softer and sweeter, as if he wanted you to hang on to the end of his every word. perhaps it was the lyrics that flowed from his mouth, a story of a love that blooms like the flowers in the spring.

and as these words dripped from his lips like honey, you found that same smile tugging at the corners of your own. so when the last notes of the song had died out, you hopped onto the stage. and in a small twist of courage, you leaned on your tip toes and kissed bang yedam.

[letgraysonsheart]

Hiya! Can I request prompt 6 with Dick and My Boy? My Timmy :D (they're all my boys, but tim is my Boy 😂😂) Thank you if you can do it, and don't worry about it if you can't!

Dick is acting weird. More weird than usual. He’s laid like someone just straight up dropped him on the couch. A foot is hanging off the side, his head is leaning on the armrest, and he’s got one of his one arms laid up over the back. It’s a.. peculiar position, even for Dick. It doesn’t look like a comfortable one either.

“Timmy! My boy!” he says, when their eyes meet - again. They already said hi when Tim tumbled into the living room on his way to the kitchen for a midnight snack mere seconds ago, so the second greeting confuses him. He also had expected no one else to be awake, least of all Dick. 

The elder always seems eager to grab some shut-eye whenever he has the chance. And yet instead of being asleep in his own bed, Dick is here, with him, in the living room at 4 am. 

He sweeps his eyes over the room, looking for.. well, anything that can explain this. There is half a bottle of store-bought water sat on the corner of the table. Its placement, aligned with his brother’s head on the couch, informs him of its owner. Other than that, there is nothing out of the ordinary. Besides how said brother is acting, that is.

Dick is currently holding his arm above his head, elbow locked in a straight position. He is staring at it with a far too serious and intense expression. His fingers are spread out as far as they go, and the hand is swaying slightly in the air.

“Seeing something interesting?” Tim asks, trying to be cautious.

Dick doesn’t seem to be listening to him, even if he hums as an answer.

Well, his little snack will have to be postponed.

Tim sits down in the chair beside the couch Dick is occupying.

“Did everything go alright on patrol?” Tim knew his brother and Bruce had been working together tonight, not really a rare occurrence but still - slightly out of the ordinary. It was a case that bled both into Blüdhaven and Gotham, and both of them had been too stubborn to give it up. Hence, the team-up.

“Yea, kicked some sweet ass,” Dick replies, a grin has replaced the serious look from before. His brother has let his hand fall beside him and is turning on the couch to lie on his stomach. He rests his chin on the armrest and meets Tim’s gaze. There is something weird going on with Dick’s eyes. His pupils look blown wide, and the surrounding white has a hint of redness to it. Perhaps he’s drugged? But then Bruce wouldn’t have let him leave the cave, not without supervision at least.

Maybe Dick had tried to hide it? It would certainly not be the first time. But no, it’s not possible. There is no way Dick being drugged to the point of whatever this is, would have slipped past Bruce.

“Where’s B?” Tim feels newfound worry creep up his back. What if Bruce hadn’t been there for it to slip past him? What if something had happened, and Bruce had gotten hurt and Dick had been too out of it to help him?

“Down in the cave, workin’, didn’t finish up the case,” Dick answers. Tim can’t catch his eyes now, as they are darting all over the place. They also seem to be dropping, like Dick’s eyelids are becoming too heavy for him.

“Did you get drugged or something? Poison Ivy?” Tim asks as Dick reaches out for the water bottle. He stops with his hand mid-air, looks at Tim, shakes his head and laughs before grabbing it. The laugh sounds sad and wrong. Dick brings the bottle to his mouth and opens the sports cap with his teeth, which, okay, and takes a small sip. This whole interaction is weird.

So it’s not drugs, not anything Dick knows about at least. Dick is smart. He would’ve known if he’d been drugged, wouldn’t he? He always has before. Dick’s always been good at knowing his own body and when there is something wrong with it. Perhaps from too much past experience.

At least he’s drinking water. 

Maybe Dick is just sleep deprived. Tim knows from experience, both with himself and his brothers, that it can get you quite loopy. It is 4 am after all, even if it’s not the weirdest time of the day to meet someone awake in this particular house. Maybe he should go and get Bruce, or call Jason and ask if he’s ever encountered Dick like this before.

As his eyes fall upon the still not settled water in Dick’s hand, he feels how dry his throat is. One of the reasons he hadn’t joined Bruce and Dick tonight had been that he was coming down with a cold. He also has some actually important projects for school next week. They’re only important because of the many earlier projects he has blown off in favor of Bat-business. Now the year is coming to an end, and it doesn’t matter how smart he is if he’s got nothing to prove it on paper. He would rather not spend his next few days finishing them while sick, only to get less than a satisfactory grade. Bruce had not been impressed by Tims prioritizing either, so yeah - Tim was off for the night anyway. And the next one. Probably the next one after that too.

Dick had at least stopped by his room and thrown some cough medicine at him earlier before leaving with Bruce, while also promising Tim that “yes, we will be fine, you worrywart. Get some rest, you don’t look too good.”

Now he was doubting if they really had been fine.

“Do you mind if I get some of that?” he asks, once Dick hangs the hand, still holding the bottle, over the armrest. A few drops of water hit the floor. Dick looks at Tim with a confused expression until Tim points at the bottle.

A grin spreads over his brothers face, “why, yes of course!” he says as he somewhat stretches his hand with the bottle out. Tim has to lean over half his upper body out of the chair to grab it.

He lifts the bottle while bending his head back. He presses the bottle to squirt some of the water into his mouth, the less contact he has with what Dick’s mouth has touched the better. He goes to swallow when -

His brain yells, “WHAT THE FUCK” and also “this is NOT water”. None of which he actually manages to say. He is too busy hacking his lungs out, together with the burning liquid. There are tears in his eyes. It’s not only because of the hacking but also because he somehow has managed to get whatever it is into his poor eyes. How did that even happen! It stings so much. He can barely see Dick in front of him, his brother reduced to a colored blob.

When his coughing finally has calmed, and he can see something through his eyes filled with burning liquid and tears, Dick is sat upright on the couch. He is staring at him with an expression that holds both surprise and amusement. There’s something wet on his face and oh - Tim might have spat whatever it was that tried to poison him, directly into Dick’s face. Dickface. Hah. It only serves him right.

“What is that?” he asks exasperated. Dick looks at him, and then the bastard goddamn bursts out laughing while trying to dry his face with the sleeve of his sweater.

“Vodka. I thought that much was obvious.”

How Tim was supposed to know the clear liquid, filled in a normal water bottle, was vodka, goes way past him, but it explains Dick’s weird behavior. Jesus. There’s a lot to unpack.

Tim is about to say something, planning to chew his brother out because his eyes are still stinging and so is his poor throat. He is then going to figure out why the idiot is drinking vodka straight out of a water bottle post patrol in the first place. It’s quite concerning since Dick usually never drinks. Sadly, before he even has the chance to voice his dismay at his brother, he’s interrupted.

Because that is, of course, the moment Bruce decides to step into the living room. Oh boy.

-

Thank you for your request! I hope you liked it! and since i wrote it in like one sitting im sorry for all grammar mistakes 

[heesgf]

studying w/ lee byounggon!

hello cutest ppl of the world!!! here is a present for u <3 and pls read my scenario for bad boy gon!! or soft blurb gon

studying w/ lee byounggon                                                                                    (a bad idea)

OK SO you and byounggon have AP biology together, and somehow, by the grace of GOd himself, you’ve made it to the end of the year

It’s time for ur final exam!!! yay!!  because u can finally peace TF out of that class, but aww :’(( bc you have a final exam with 100 multiple choice  and 10 written questions 😔

some of ur ap bio shenanigans have included:

byounggon reading multiple questions OUT LOUD while you are writing the test and he literally doesn’t even notice

Like he just does it so naturally??? you’ll be side eyeing him through the divider that separates your desks

in your head, you’ll be like “AHEMMMM at LEAST read out the answers too damn ...”

He does not read out the answers :/

even tho it can be kind of off-putting, his voice is rlly deep and soothing!!!! so honestly it kind of helps your test anxiety

......but u will never admit that... he would have too much power

you and byounggon once made an animal cell out of rice krispy treats & candy

you guys left the project to the very last minute because collectively u have one brain cell

U guys started building but then u ate so much candy, you ended up puking🤮

After u had released the #barf, you and byounggon choose to cuddle up on the couch and u just chill for a couple hours

Somehow u convinced him to watch bird box????? He was DYING!!!

But it’s ok bc ur the Best Significant Other Ever and you used imdb to research every possible death scene!! and u gave him a solid 3 second warning every time

ONE TIME u were just a little bit off and he watched something a lil gruesome

U lost ur abiliity to hear from the scream that he released

“im never watching a movie with you AGAIN!”

“i said i was SORRY sodfjsdiofjsdio”

He complained for so long but then you promised you’d make it up to him with some kisses and he was like.... “hehehe ok im down”

a whole baby!!!!!

Its around 11pm now!! You and gon are cuddling on the couch, and it’s so warm, and cute, and wholesome <333

Ur running ur fingers through his soft hair and playing with his fingers; he’s just calmly humming and loving every minute of this

u start to close ur eyes and u feel kinda sleepy, so you lay your head on byounggon’s chest and just nestle in

you’re about to say “goodnight chief” and call it a night

But something feels off?

u suddenly shoot TF up and your mind is racing and ur like “thE PROJECT  !!”, real movie type shit

Ur trying not to LOSE UR MIND while byounggon is just snoring away... his arms are wrapped so tightly around u, and ur mind is still 23% asleep

honestly... maybe u should just lean back into his chest and fall asleep....

But then ur guilt complex is like ‘NO the pROJECT’

U want to wake him up but Byounggon: has left the chat

You start poking at his cheek erratically, and when he FINALLY wakes up, he’s all mumbley and tired and CUTE

U break the tragic news to him and now you’re both contemplating mental breakdowns

For the next 6 hours you guys are DEDICATED to this project

U show up to school the next morning with ur masterpiece:

(yall i rlly made that shit, respect me)

your eyes are SO unbelievably red, and for some reason, ur hair has marshmallow fluff in it????? u have to convince byounggon not to eat that shit on four separate occasions

“It looks yummy”

“PLS restrain urself”

So ur looking a little bit busted, but still cute, bc ur BEAUTIFUL nd sexy

SOMEHOW byounggon still looks perfect???? He looks like he’s just been rejuvenated by 10 hours of sleep; his skin is glowing and his eyes are twinkling... #unfair

when u guys show up to class, your teacher is sO happy with your project!!!!

but then she takes one look at you and she’s like, “(y/n) can i talk to you for a minute pls?”

“ uhh yeah ok, sure!!”

U think she’s about to tell you that she’s so proud of you both for coming up with such a creative idea, and for doing such a good job with the materials u used, but then she’s like:

“(y/n) ur eyes are so red”

ur kinda :’((( bc u think she’s about to scold you for pulling an allnighter...she’s a mama bear

“Pls stop smoking before class it’s rlly inappropriate”

Ur mouth is dropped WIDE open and byounggon is in the corner, snickering the sleep deprivation away: u want to kILL HIM!

Honestly, ur so shook, u kinda just stand there in silence while your teacher just shakes her head and does one of those “tsk tsk tsk” things and walks away

When u go back to ur desk, byounggon is like, “yea (y/n), u should rlly stop smoking at school, it’s super rude and honestly kind of distract-”

The look u give him makes him shut UP IMMEDIATELY

but then he just cranes his long arms around ur waist and smiles into the crook of ur neck and he’s like: “baby im sorry i love u”

So wholesome :’))))

Ur choked up?? And after all that work, a little bit delirious? U lean back into him and tilt ur head to the side so he can kiss u

when he pulls away he gives u this rlly uneven smirk

“even if u smoke before class”

“RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW OR IM GONNA [redacted]”

A couple weeks later, u guys have to do this lab on human heart rate and metabolism

bc byounggon is ur deskmate, he’s also ur lab partner (unfortunately)

Byounggon is RLLY SMART, but honestly u guys are just rlly unproductive when ur together bc u just want to. . .. hug him (relatable)

For one part of the lab, somebody needs to stick their hand into ice water while the other person monitors their heart rate

Byounggon REALLY passionately wants to be the one to dunk his hand in the water tank and ur just like “lmao ok calm down”

HIS HAND HAS BEEN IN THE ICE WATER FOR THREE MINUTES

@ this point, ur concerned x 3493049304930

He’s just like: “im FINE it’s FINE, keep going”

His eyes are TWITCHING

U have to forcefully yank his hand out of the water because he literally will NOT??? why is he like this

But it’s ok bc u warmed up his hand with lots hand holding and sweet lil kisses <333333

overall, bio have been a WILD ride, but byounggon has made it so much more enjoyable,,, and u guys love each other lots,,, (y/n) and byounggon for cutest couple 2k19  😘

Okay so now for the studying!!!

byounggon kind of had to beg to get you to study with him at the library

but that’s only because every time u study with him, u dont retain SHIT, bc ur too busy drooling over his jawline

U wanted to be rlly strict and firm so you could actually be well prepared!!!! But when he started whining and hugging on you,,,, what wEre you SUppOSED to DO?!?

So NOW, u and gon are at the library

U make him sit across from u

Because the lord knows, if he’s sitting next to, he will not stop kissing ur face and u RLLY need to do some learning!!! Studious Queen

twelve minutes into mitosis and chill, byounggon is pouting and using his biology textbook as a pillow

Literally byounggon is the kind of guy that looks like he’d be a rlly messy student, but he will take one look at the textbook, and get a 96%

So ofc, he’s like... “studying... who’s she?”

He’s just staring at you

In this moment, u look SO CUTE, bc ur head is burried in your book, and ur hair is adorably messy, and ur eyebrows are scrunched together bc ur rlly focused

Ur the cutest thing he ever saw?????

“Gon,,, baby u have to stop staring at me,, i can’t concentrate”

He’s so GOOFY

“im noooooooooot”

(he totally is)

It’s been about two hours?? Byounggon took a power nap, and u reviewed everything u possibly could,,, now u just want byounggon to hum u to sleep

byounggon is POWERED UP (stream power up by red velvet)  from his nap and he’s very, very, very giddy

And a lil clingy bc u haven’t cuddled him today yet :/

He’s been saying “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” for about 8 minutes,,, u would throw ur bag of hot cheetos at him but he’s just too pretty

He’s laughing AT HIMSELF

Ur shaking ur head and laughing at him too

The librarian POPS UP out of literally nowhere?? She looks at byounggon playing candy crush on his phone and she’s like “SHHHHHHHHHH!!! young man! you are being so disrespectful! this place is for students to study! U need to leave immediately”

She’s about to point her finger at you too, but then:

“Ma’am i’ve never seen this boy in my whole life” 😜

Byounggon is Taken Aback™

He rlly can’t believe u just did that

U start laughing so hard bc PAYBACK

But his mind is just thinking.. . “top ten worst anime betrayals of all time”

The librarian is so annoyed with both of you she just turns around and mumbles something like “stupID KIDS”

U have to lug byounggon outside bc now he’s #embarrassed bc of the librarian, and #hurt because u threw him under the bus

He’s still pretending to be upset by the time u guys make it back to his house, and u have to give him all sorts of compliments to make everything okay again

“ur chin.... is straight SEXY”

“i think it’s cute that u eat bananas with sriracha”

“i, for one, like the screams you make when we watch horror movies”

THE COMPLIMENTS ARE SO STUPID BUT FOR SOME REASON HE’S BLUSHING???? blushy babyyyyy 💖

u conclude with a veryyyy sweet kiss on his lips

let’s just say... he forgives u

THE NEXT DAY!!! It’s time for ur exam omgomg :’))))))

byounggon finishes that shit in 26 minutes and somehow ends up getting a 92%

it took u a solid 48 minutes and u ended up with a nice and spicy 90%

he gets the better mark bc he’s god Lee Byounggon??? U will never understand bc he rlly doesn’t even try.... U can’t relate

But it’s ok

Because he’s the cutest thing to ever exist in the world, and even if he makes u the most unproductive person in existence, u love him more than anything <333

And he loves u bby!!!!!

the librarian, on the other, loves neither of u 😔 ......

THE END ! ! ! !

i love u all!! and thank u for ur support!! hit like if u feel bad for the librarian  😔

[nova-fanart-dump]

SCIENCE LECTURE

In my fic here, Sherlock has a little brainstorming session while drugged out of his mind, and this sheet of notes below is the result of it. I decided to write out a little explanation as to what all the individual parts of it mean. The explanation will be in the format of ITEM - TRANSLATION - BREAKDOWN. The item will be the selection of the notes that the section will be explaining, copied roughly verbatim for the reader's convenience. The translation, if needed, will be translating Sherlock's (my) shorthand into standard notation. The breakdown, then, will be the explanation.

Disclaimer: I was a medical student, before I had to withdraw due to hand injury, and my area of study in undergraduate was neuroscience and neuropsychology (and music performance, but that's not relevant here). I do try and explain everything in layman's terms, but 1) it will get a little technical in parts, fair warning, and 2) I'm still learning on how best to explain concepts to other. I try my best, people!

ITEM 1: THE LIST

1) Narcotics- hallucin? (Translation: Hallucinogen)

2) Sleep dep. Halluc (Translation: Sleep deprivation Hallucination)

3) Mycroft- test?

4) Lights show

5. GMO (Translation: Genetically Modified Organism)

6) Moriarty???

7) Acute psychosis xxx

Breakdown:

In the episode, Sherlock says that he had come up with seven possible reasons for how he, Henry, and John could have all seen the dog-that-could-not-exist, and that he'd settled upon narcotics as the most likely. I came up with a list of seven of my own reasons:

1) Narcotics- hallucinogen: self-explanatory, as explained by the actual episode.

2) Sleep deprivation hallucination: this episode takes place what appears to be several days into pretty severe nicotine withdrawal, for Sherlock. His sleep schedule seems to be disastrous as is, and the nicotine withdrawal would've made him even more wired, so there's a solid chance he hadn't slept for several days, which is long enough to for sleep deprivation-induced hallucinations. While the hypothesis itself is perfectly sound, Sherlock puts it at number 2 instead of 1 because A) Henry ALSO saw the dog, B) sleep deprivation induced hallucinations generally don't start out with a full-fledged monster dog screaming in your face. If this hypothesis had been correct, he should've been experiencing more subtle hallucinations all night long.

3) Mycroft- test?: As discussed in series four, Mycroft occasionally has been employing tests into Sherlock's mental stability for decades, focusing on what Sherlock believes to be a dog. Sherlock, being Sherlock, has likely noticed this. Mycroft knows Sherlock is hanging around Baskerville. Sherlock also knows Mycroft knows this. Under the influence of a paranoia-inducing narcotic, Sherlock very easily could suspect his nosy brother at being somehow responsible.

4) Lights show: Again, inspired by series 4, and how the illusion of a ghost is created in TAB with nothing more than a projector. The logistics of how this would actually work are hazy, which is why this is further down the list, and quickly discounted by Sherlock.

5) GMO: While GMOs are usually discussed in the context of resilient strains of plants, all it really means is genetically modified organism. I'm speaking as one educated in 2014+, not 2012 (the ep air date), but breeding an especially large dog, and genetically modifying it to have red eyes, would probably not be too difficult a feat, scientifically. It could even be glowing, if you spliced in that GFP gene that the scientist mentions! However, this possibility is unlikely, because it raises the very big question as to why the scientists would allow their experiment to roam wild and attack people, why the scientists would bother making it in the first place, why haven't others taken pictures, etc. This is why it's so low on the list.

6) Moriarty???: Similar premise as the Mycroft's inclusion.

7) Acute psychosis xxx: AKA, "I lost my mind". Very unlikely, because it doesn't explain why Henry shared his hallucination, has no explanation as to why or how, and he has no other symptoms suggestive of a psychotic break. Which is why Sherlock scratched it out, and marked it with three Xs.

ITEM 2: THE FEEDBACK LOOP

This refers to the diagram, sitting just to the right of the list.

Breakdown:

X -> SNS Act -> Occ. -> (SNS Act) | (Amyg up) (Temporal) (up up Amyg)

Translation:

Unknown Substance X -> Sympathetic Nervous System Activation -> Occipital Cortex

(Amygdala stimulation) (Temporal) (Further Amygdala stimulation)

Let's define some terms!

This little diagram is a positive feedback loop, drawn very messily and with multiple steps added in after the fact. In biology, a feedback loop is a circuit in which the output of a system feeds back around to affect the system's input, which indirectly affects the system's output again, and so on. A simple example of a positive feedback loop is as follows: Addition of Substance X to System yields output of Substance Y. Substance Y triggers the production of more of Substance X, which again yields the output of more of Substance Y, which again triggers more production of Substance X- and so on. (feedback loops in the body are far more complicated, and most will eventually trigger their own end, etc, but such discussion is beyond the purpose of this post).

Unknown Substance X = input of whatever Sherlock was drugged with

Sympathetic Nervous System = simplistically speaking, our autonomic nervous system has two parts that work together, the sympathetic nervous system, and the parasympathetic nervous system. PNS can be summed up as rest and digestion, while SNS can be summed up as fight or flight.

Occipital Cortex = simplistically speaking, the visual center in the brain. There are other areas involved, but this area is the key and center to visual perception.

Temporal = simplistically speaking, the auditory cortex in the brain.

Amygdala = simplistically speaking, the fear center of the brain.

(I am defining all these terms as their relation to this situation at hand, nothing more. The brain is not so simple as to allocate X Function to Y cortex.)

So, Sherlock theorizes that input of Drug X stimulates the SNS and/or the amygdala, which caused inappropriate occipital lobe stimulation leading to hallucinations, which increased Sherlock's fear response, which caused further SNS activation, and so on. He suggested temporal lobe as a possible step; however, at no point during the episode did the drug cause auditory hallucinations, which is why it's not including in the loop proper.

There are actually a few problems with his loop, because he drew it out on the fly, while high off his mind, and he's not a neuroscientist, but he's got the right idea. The inappropriate, uncontrollable stimulation of the amygdala is almost certainly what Drug X causes, and would result in fear, paranoia, and increased suggestibility, all stated symptoms of Drug X. Inappropriate amygdala stimulation leads to inappropriate SNS activation, which encourages hallucinations, but would not cause them directly. It's likely that the drug also caused overproduction of dopamine, which can cause hallucinations. (However, there is no guarantee the occipital cortex was involved).

Whatever the chemical cause of the hallucination, he "sees" the dog, freaks out more, amygdala continues to be stimulated, freaks out because he’s Sherlock and isn’t used to freaking out, and the cycle continues, which is what leads to Sherlock's panic attack/meltdown in the pub- short-term, we're able to handle those stress reactions, especially if they're rational reactions to a stimulus, but keep them going for hours at a time and the body will start to freak out.

ITEM THREE: SYMPTOMS LIST

3a. Tachycardia, (up)hidrosis, shaking, panic attack?, nausea, emesis

(up)hidrosis = hyperhidrosis

Breakdown: Very rapid heartrate, increased sweating, shaking, nausea, emesis = vomiting, panic attack? (Question mark because Sherlock is not convinced of the diagnosis. Even high off his mind, he's still got his pride- he's Sherlock Holmes! He does not Get panic attacks! >;0)

3b. NOT NICOTINE, WITHDRAWAL UPUPUP

Breakdown: as John says in the pub, Sherlock was pretttty wired before all of this. Sherlock notes down that these symptoms are not the result of the nicotine withdrawal, because he can still feel the now increased effects of the nicotine withdrawal going on alongside these new symptoms. Chemically speaking, Drug X probably wouldn’t have any /direct/ effect on nicotine withdrawal, but it very well might exacerbate it indirectly.

3c. OH NO EFFECT - NOT STIMULANT

Translation: Alcohol no effect - not stimulant

Alcohol, to our bodies, is a depressant. If you drink it with a straight stimulant, like caffeine, their effects will counteract each other; for example, if I want to drink but keep clear-headed, I'll have a soda with my glass of wine. (DISCLAIMER: this will not make it safe to drive, this will not prevent alcohol poisoning, this can be dangerous, and do not do it in anything but careful moderation). Sherlock, as seen in the show, gets a shot of alcohol, probably in a desperate bid to calm down. It also does not work at all, because he was not dosed with a stimulant, but a hallucinogenic. The hallucinations led to stimulant-esque effects, but with no stimulant to counteract, Sherlock would simply end up sloshed and panicking. Sherlock realizes that the alcohol is not having the desired affect, and, when he realizes he was drugged, concludes that it therefore can not have been with a simple stimulant.

ITEM FOUR: DIAGRAM B

Oral --> long-lasting VS inhale --> feedback loop

no IV/IM

BLOOD TEST NEC ASAP (check)

Breakdown:

While the identity/structure of the drug he was dosed with are important, the route/method of administration are also a huge factor of variability that affects the intensity and timeline of the symptoms. Sherlock mentions four different routes of administration, here: oral (PO), inhalation, IV, and IM (intramuscular). A drug taken orally will have slower and longer lasting effects than one that is inhaled: one that is inhaled will act almost immediately, as seen in the episode, and its effect will also wear off very quickly.

Sherlock theorizes he must have taken the drug either orally or inhaled it, because the only other options are being stuck with a needle at some point, which he is sure never occurred. (Really, there are a few other options, most notably transdermal, that is unlikely for other reasons). Because the drug affects him for so long, he assumes he must have taken it orally, but also allows inhalation a spot on the list, by noting it could have instigated a feedback loop, and continued affecting him even after it'd left his system. He also notes the need for an urgent blood test, in the case that there are still some traces left to analyze. Especially if the drug was inhaled, the blood needs to be drawn ASAP. (Without any information on the chemical structure of Drug X, though, I can’t make any sort of estimation on what results Sherlock’s own blood test would show, with the sample drawn ~8 hours after being dosed).

ITEM FIVE: TIMELINE

To the left of diagram B, eleven hash marks next to a supremely messy "hours". AKA, eleven hours of 'experimentation', after Sherlock realizes he was drugged.

(upside down-items):

ITEM SIX: FORMULA

C12H22O11

The chemical formula for a sugar, which, as Sherlock states in the episode, was his initial theory. This would suggest PO as method of administration, not inhalation, but Sherlock's also not thinking too straight, right now. Give him a break. (He's also probably got a ton more information on PO medications in his head than airborne compounds).

ITEM SEVEN: SHERLOCK'S THEORY

THC? -amyg overstim in subject

-no SNS activ

(scratched out, termed STUPID by Sherlock)

Translation:

THC? - amygdala overstimulation in subject

-no SNS activation

Breakdown (this is the most technical passage of the post, fair warning:)

The 'subject' in this case refers to Sherlock. THC, as you probably know, is is the primary hallucinogenic/psychoactive component of cannabis (marijuana). Also as you probably know, cannabis tends to reduce anxiety effects in most individuals, but in some, it results in a paradoxical panic reaction. We're not entirely sure why, but this panic reaction appears to be due to GABA paradoxical disinhibition. Essentially, in a standard patient, cannabis leads to mass increases in GABA, which is the calm-down chemical in the brain. However, in these select patients, cannabis' initial activation of GABA may lead to the brain telling the production of GABA itself to calm down, which lead to an overall decrease in GABA levels in the amygdala, which leads to a panic reaction. (Disclaimer: This is still a working theory in the scientific community, and all depends on an individual's makeup of receptors and neural circuits. This is by no means settled discussion, either the end result or its mechanism.)

Overall, irrelevant to THC and cannabis, patients with severe childhood trauma do tend to have amygdalas that are primed for overstimulation (possibly by the very process described in the paragraph above). Whether Sherlock deleted Eurus and Victor or not, those neurological affects aren't something he could just will away. This is not saying that if you have childhood trauma, you will have a negative reaction to cannabis- but it IS saying that Sherlock might be a candidate expected to have a negative reaction.

Now, given Sherlock's extensive drug history, I'm sure he tried cannabis, at some point. It is also, however, never once brought up in the series proper, which suggests he has absolutely no interest in trying it again- perhaps because he had a negative reaction the first time. The panic reaction and amygdala overstimulation would probably feel similar to how Drug X affected him, which is why, initially, Sherlock writes it down as a suggestion, and also notes that it would not directly cause SNS activation. (At this point, he is not sure if SNS activation is a direct symptom or not).

He then swiftly marks it out as a stupid theory, because he realizes that he has a very atypical reaction to THC, so the likelihood of Henry sharing his hallucination and panic is very low. More to the point, because his reaction is so atypical and unpredictable, it makes no sense that unknown criminals would drug them with it.

TO SUM UP:

Sherlock is a graduate chemist, not a medical doctor, neuroscientist, or neuropsychologist. He does seem to have a great degree of interest and expertise in pharmacology, and probably also has a lot of knowledge in different routes of administration, due to his own personal history and his interest in forensics. However, he has no need to know, for example, the exact neuro-chemical causes of hallucinations. Therefore, his sheet of data is intentionally a bit spotty and with questionable accuracy, at points. (He also gets a bit of a break, considering he was "off his tits", or whatever the fuck that means, at the time. Poor guy needs a rest and a blanket and a hug.)

And that sums up Ranowa's entirely unnecessary lecture on pharmacodynamics!