#worked a 10.5 hour shift last week

[kiwidotcom]

on my way to be an hour late to work ✨

this isn't the first time

but I kinda feel like.

pay me overtime and then I'll start to feel bad about being late

[freckle-face-ace]

Portgas D Ace X CisFem Reader

10.5

Howling winds had the old house bracing itself, groaning and creaking against heavy gusts. Fat dense snowflakes slapped against the window panes with ridiculous force. Kuma retired to his electric blanket covered bed in the far corner of the living room. Only the light of the Christmas tree spread through the room.

Ace had stacked cherry logs in the fireplace and was growing a small fire. The decrepit furnace was working as hard as it could but was no match for the wind forcing its way through the poorly insulated walls. You gathered every blanket and pillow in the house to build a cozy pallet on the living room floor. Both bedrooms were too cold to get comfortable in and the fireplace would help tremendously.

Once Ace was satisfied with the fire he crawled under the thick blankets. Turning to face you he slipped his right arm under your pillow and closed the space between you. He met your gaze with a soft smile and nipped your nose playfully. Maybe you didn't need the fire, it suddenly seemed plenty warm. You combed your fingers through his soft black tresses. He leaned into your touch closing his eyes slowly. You smiled noting how much his hair had grown since he arrived. He mirrored your action letting his fingers drop down to trace your jaw. Goosebumps sprouted up across your arms under his feathery caresses.

A low chuckle rumbled through his chest, "Cold?"

You shook your head unable to find your voice. It had been a long time since you were in such a position. Well, not that you hadn't been cuddling this freckled cutie for the last month, but it never felt this intimate before. You were just lying there gazing at each other and you felt incredibly exposed.

It wasn't that Ace didn't also feel exposed despite his forward attention. He'd actually rarely had attention from women where he was from. He had goals to accomplish and a crew that depended on him. Looking back at the past weeks you had been so obliviously transparent he wasn't sure how he hadn't noticed before, he supposed that probably went both ways.

Ace wasn't one for silliness like love at first sight, but the warmth and comfort you brought him was apparent from the moment he woke up in your spare room. He also knew if he didn't make any of these advances you would never progress. You were a hermity creature of habit. Change and risks were not things you were comfortable with even if your heart felt like it would burst every time you looked at him.

He shifted forcing your legs to hook around the outside of his thighs. His lips were warm and gentle, sending waves of amorous comfort rolling through you. You kissed back eagerly trying to convey your feelings. He'd steadied himself on his elbows resting just above your shoulders, both hands cupping each side of your head while his thumbs rubbed small soothing circles into your hairline. Your hands skimmed his forearms trying to calm yourself and match his slow methodical pace.

After the last twenty-four hours you'd felt he'd be gone in an instant, so he wanted to prove he wouldn't be going anywhere. He placed small sweet smooches all over your face between long deep kisses. Every time his lips made contact with the tip of your nose it drew out a smile that Ace couldn't look away from. His chest swelled knowing he made that happen and only he got to see it. His rubies searched your face intensely, taking in your unknowingly aroused expression.

"Stop staring." You blushed covering his face with both your hands.

"But you're so cute." He murmured before licking your palms.

"Ace!" You squeaked wiping your hands on his shirt.

"It's your own fault." He chuckled lowering himself to capture your lips once more.

You mewled involuntarily when his hips pressed against yours feeling just how excited he was. His lips traced your jaw and down your throat. Pure instinct took over as your brain was forced into a euphoric haze. As much as you wanted to continue you knew you'd have to fight the fuzzy feelings and plop back into reality.

"Ace." Your airy voice only spurred him on.

Hands roamed down your sides stopping occasionally to grope your curves.

"Ace." You whined before he stifled you with a kiss.

Things were getting too heated. You wrestled with giving up and going all the way or forcing yourself to stop him. It really was a hard decision. The more he kissed, groped and pressed the more you wanted him.

Finally, your brain located your hands, which had made their way into his hair, and forced them to cup his cheeks pulling him away from your lips. His burning gaze met yours as you both huffed.

He noted the serious look on your face and smiled charmingly, "Sorry. I got carried away."

You chuckled propping yourself up on your elbows, "It's not that I don't want to. There just aren't any condoms and I haven't been on the pill in a long time."

He looked puzzled, "Condoms?"

You flopped back into the blankets, "We'll save this talk for another time. But the short version is we can't go further without them. And no one is going anywhere in this weather."

He nuzzled into the crook of your neck resting the right side of his body over yours.

"An actual nap then?" His warm breath tickled your sensitive flesh.

"Mhm." You affirmed beginning your hair twisting ritual.

In minutes he was snoring softly against your ear.

[butchyena]

my gf is going out of country for a week and last year it was fine cause i work 10.5 hour shifts but now im just home all day long……..

[feathercigarette]

Had the month from hell with family emergencies and my own medical emergency ending me in the hospital 3 times in 7 days. Had family around me the whole time. Had a week off work so no excuse to skip meals. And I was horrified to find i gained 5lbs in 2 weeks. I feel like a failure.

So I said I was gonna starve again to lose it. Starting Tuesday, work 10.5 hour shift but ended up binging on like 10 digestive biscuits and I can't get away with skipping dinner because my family knows about my ed and goes hypervigilant if I skip/don't eat it all. Wednesday I had a handful of raisins and Brazil nuts at work, and a light dinner. Thursday I binged, I think my body got to used to eating twice a day. Friday was a 10 hour shift and I only had black coffee and cigarettes until dinner, which was only about 450.

Today I weighed, and I've lost that 5lbs but im so far behind my monthly goal now. I actually gained half a pound last month and then gained more for the first half of this month, so now im back where i should be, i habe last month's 5lbs to lose AND this month's with only 15 days left. Idk if i can do it. Ice been stuck on this platau for months, fluctuating in this nightmare 10lbs.

Today I'm gping back to tracking more intensely, including my cigarettes and black coffees, weighing everything to the gram exactly. I'm watching supersize vs superskinny to remind myself never to look like the supers and to prove i can do better than the skinnies. I'm jogging in the spot every time i wait for the kettle to boil or go for a cigarette. If im sat down watching s vs s and playing my switch, I'm also using the underdesk cycle machine. Only tracking half the cals it says im burning though cause I don't trust that thing to track properly.

Back before this last month, I was easily looking a pound of two every day or two if I really tried and didn't stop moving. I'm thinking I need to prove to myself I can loose at least 4lbs by Monday (typing mid-day on Saturday) and if I do, then I know I'm not truly stuck on this plateau and I'm just being lazy, and if I can't, then i REALLY need to get off my fatass and do something about it.

Im only 10lbs away from my lowest ever weight. If I keep to my goals, if I keep moving and don't give in, I can be my lowest ever weight by the end of this month. I can't give up now.

[gobbluthbutagirl]

let me tell you guys something. if you’ve got a job where you’re on your feet all day literally get hokas. they are the best splurge you will ever make. i had literally one day off work in the entire back half of november and it was thanksgiving. i had worked 9 days in a row prior to that including a full 8-hour overnight shift immediately following my regular closing shift, a 13+ hour shift across two targets, and a 10.5-hour shift at one of the aforementioned targets on what was originally scheduled to be a day off. and immediately following thanksgiving i worked another 7 days in a row including another 13.25-hour shift AND another 10.5-hour shift. i averaged like 18k steps per day. and my brain has become a rotting mush ready to leak out of my ears at any moment but my feet literally do not hurt at all. i worked 3 8am-11pm shifts in a row the last week of october wearing skechers and actually thought i was going to pass away. get hokas. you will not regret it

[atmospheradraws]

annnnd with that posted i wanna explain where I’ve been. workin myself to death is the long short of it. On top of Actual Work (still doing 10.5 hour shifts every day, usually with no break), I’m meant to be publishing research, started a small business endeavour, and got accepted to another FE3H zine. In the midst of that, I got majorly down on my art because I could see all these amazing artists in the group and felt I just couldn’t keep up. Both as a result of time and my technical ability. It’s a vicious cycle but the result of those feelings is a tense wrist, stiff lines, and actually producing worse art than usual. It’s completely a ‘me’ problem, but I’m sure most of us creatives have experienced this before; I felt simultaneously lucky and in awe of other people in the community, and experiencing incredible guilt and self dislike for not being able to keep up. I then went into double avoidance mode and avoided everything FE3H related because I didn’t want to allow myself to create anything BUT the zine, because I felt if I couldn’t do that, I didn’t deserve to do anything else to do with it that made me happy either. But given everything else going on in my life right now, I think I need to take the boot off my own throat and relax a bit. Hoping to sketch a bit more this week. I know it’s neither here nor there to anyone really but everyone here has been so supportive over the last year and I’m so grateful. I just didn’t want everyone to think I’d just bailed and lost interest in this space. I’m just goin thru it.  Sorry I permanently overshare here - as ya might imagine, on my work schedule I don’t really have a social life so I kind of use this place like a diary. 

[brighterrors]

Just worked a 12 hour special event last night at an EDM festival. Then had my shift today that I’m on rn is 11.5 but 10.5 for me today because they moved me and just was asked to pick up a double shift that starts like an hour and a half after my shift ends. so that’s another 12 hours but it will be double time PLUS 200 dollar bonus so I’m like 👀👀👀 dang ok. Running on five hours of sleep but it’s a CCT shift so should have lots of standby time to sleep more but wooo hell week. But 💵💵💵

[billehrman]

A New Economic Cycle Has Begun

Recent economic statistics, especially the employment data, support our thesis that a new economic cycle has begun. It does not matter whether it is an elongated U,U or V  as long as the economy continues to move forward.

While a number of states (11) have paused opening further due to coronavirus outbreaks, the vast majority of states continue to move forward. All of this does not change our view that it will take until the end of 2022 for the economy to fully recover even if we have therapeutics in the fall and vaccines before the end of this year as we still expect. Therefore, we expect the Fed and the government to continue to supply huge amounts of monetary and fiscal stimulus which will support the economy and financial markets pushing investors further out on the risk curve. As the economy improves and capacity utilization rates rise, we would expect inflation to pick up from an abnormally low 0.5% annual rate to over 1.5% and the yield curve to steepen as the Fed holds short term rates near zero through 2022 as they have indicated. Clearly stocks are our asset class of choice but as you know, not all stocks will perform equally.

The employment numbers reported over the last two months were nothing short of phenomenal, well above anyone’s expectations. Non-farm employment rose by 4.8 million in June as employment in leisure and hospitality increased by 2.1 million; retail by 740,000; 568,000 in education and health services and even by 356,000 in manufacturing. Truly a reflection of a very broad-based improvement in the economy over the last month. Average hourly earnings and hours worked fell in the month. Employment gains have clearly buttressed the Conference Board’s consumer confidence index which rose to a surprisingly strong 98.1 in June from 85.9 in May. Both the present situation and short-term outlook indices improved meaningfully too. It is easy to understand now why retail sales and housing are rebounding so strongly.  The June manufacturing ISM report on business was strong too increasing to 52.6, indicating an expansion, from 43.1 in May. New orders were particularly strong as the index hit 56.4 up from 31.8 in May.  All in all, it is clear that the economy has bottomed, and a new economic cycle has begun.

While the news of coronavirus outbreaks got worse last week, it did not have much impact on the financial markets as the incidence of deaths are declining; physicians have learned to better treat the virus; and news on therapeutics and vaccines are getting more positive. States where outbreaks have increased meaningfully have finally slowed or paused opening further and are mandating masks and social distancing. Cases in those states should peak within a couple of weeks. That will be welcome news. Last week we heard from Gilead that they will have over 500,000 doses of Remdesivir available by September and many millions by year end. We also know that Regeneron is making great progress in this area too. And the big news of the week came from Pfizer who unveiled promising and detailed data on a trial of one of its experimental COVID-19 vaccines. The company expects to conclude its Phase 3 efficacy data in September and will have hundreds of millions vials available by next year. We expect to hear more and more positive news on therapeutics and vaccines in the weeks ahead. Our economic outlook for 2021 will get stronger once therapeutics are broadly available in the fall and vaccines early next which is our current expectation although not fully reflected in our 2021 forecasts.   Fed Chairman Powell and Treasury Secretary Mnuchin appeared before the House Financial Services Committee last week. Everyone is on the same page about the need for continued monetary stimulus and additional government support programs. Powell mentioned that he was surprised that the economy had begun rebounding so soon and with such strength. We fully expect Trump and Congress to agree on a substantial package to replace the Cares act before it expires on July 31.  Both the Fed and the government will remain ‘all in” well into 2022 no matter who is elected President in November. While most pundits have counted Trump out and Biden in, we are confident that the polls will narrow if the economy and information on the coronavirus improve as we move through the fall. While we favor Trump’s economic plan over Biden’s, we favor Biden’s social agenda and executive presence over Trump’s. Regardless of who wins in November, we cannot see much change in the direction of fiscal and monetary programs until the economy has fully recovered which most likely will not occur until the end of 2022. In addition, we expect unemployment to stay stubbornly high in the new normal economy which might preclude hiking corporate taxes in 2021 like Biden wants to do. No matter who wins in November, we expect the government to pass an infrastructure bill next year to stimulate growth and fill a major need.

Investment Wrap up

The financial markets continue to defy the pundits who have been looking for a top or at least a correction for months. While the markets have been supported by an inordinate amount of liquidity provided by the Fed and aggressive fiscal stimulus by the government, it now appears that the economy is finally kicking in too. While this is anything but an ordinary economic cycle, it is acting in many ways just like it: the economy weakens(now due to a pandemic); the Fed eases aggressively and the government cuts taxes or adds stimulus; then the economy slowly bottoms and resumes growth once again. Clearly there are major differences here beside the sheer magnitude of the Fed and government actions.  Remember that the Fed will remain all in for another two years suppressing rates and providing liquidity even as the economy recovers, and the government is still likely to pass several additional stimulus programs broadening out to include programs to stimulate demand such as an infrastructure program. Wow, could we overheat, or at least see inflation meaningfully increase?  It is possible but not likely as the new normal on the other side will be quite different from where we started. The CBO is projecting a 5.9% decline in GNP in 2020 rebounding 4.8% in 2021 and unemployment at 10.5% at year-end improving to a still high 7.6% by the end of next year. Why? Corporations will keep a lid on S, G and A expenses as well as hiring as they have seen that they can do the same, and even more, with less without any loss in productivity even as employees work at home during the pandemic. Why? It all comes down to technology such as video conferencing for internal and external meetings. Just imagine the cost savings from less space needs, less travel and entertainment, and fewer redundancies. Yes, we expect corporate operating margins to improve in the new normal which is very good for stocks historically.

The bottom line is that we expect the environment to remain favorable for risk assets, most notably stocks, industrial commodities and gold. We clearly would not own bonds with any duration over three years as we see inflation picking up as the economy recovers and the yield curve steepening despite actions of the Fed to suppress it. Our portfolios continue to emphasize great technology companies who have saved us during the pandemic, will assist us bigtime as we move through to the other side and beyond. In addition, we own companies whose demand has benefitted from more time spent outdoors and in one’s home due to the pandemic. Some defensive growth companies with above average, ever increasing dividend yields can be owned as well.  We continue to avoid those companies who demand will remain weak due to the pandemic as the risk owning them simply just does not justify the reward.

Our weekly webinar will be held on Monday July 6th at 8:30 am EST. You can join the webinar by entering https://zoom.us/j/9179217852 into your browser or dialing +1 646 558 8656 and entering the password ID 9179217852.

Remember to review all the facts; pause, reflect and consider mindset shifts; look at your asset mix with risk controls; turn off your cable business news; do independent research and…

Invest Accordingly!

Bill Ehrman

Paix et Prospérité LLC

917-941-4139

[inkytentaclemonster]

Tired Boi

I’ve been working 10.5 hour shifts this week and its the last day. Just gotta hold out.

[softboywriting]

Safe and Sound | Part 13| Werewolf Shawn AU

Summary: You’re a human living within a pack of werewolves. When another supernatural being comes for you, Shawn takes it personally. He will do what ever it takes to keep you safe and sound.

Blog Tag for This Fic

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part 7.5  | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part 10.5 | Part Eleven| Part Twelve

| Masterlist |

Shawn comes into his bedroom and finds you on his laptop about an hour after you finished your shower. He slumps down in his desk chair and sighs heavily. You wait before asking him what happened and where Matt was. You didn’t wanna to push it, he seemed stressed enough as it was. Obviously the news wasn’t going to be great.

“They brought him back,” Shawn says before you can find the right words to say. His eyes are on the floor as he speaks. “He’s alive. It seems he was attacked pretty badly by something.” He sits up, running a hand through his hair. “He said it wasn’t the alphas and it wasn’t the wendigo.”

“Then what was it?” you ask, sitting up and placing the laptop aside. “What else could be in those woods?”

Shawn shakes his head. “I don’t know anymore. I thought I was familiar with all the nonhumans in this area but after the wendigo, I’m not so sure.”

“Why didn’t Matt come back?”

“He has pretty bad gashes on his side and they aren’t healing like they should be. I don’t know what he came across but it fucked him up bad. He hid in the cave your brother mentioned, tried to recover before coming home.” Shawn gets up and starts pacing the length of his room. “I need to find these alphas Sam came across if they’re still out there. If it wasn’t them, then maybe they know what is in the woods. Maybe they know where the wendigo came from too.”

“Shawn you can’t go out there alone. What if whatever got Matt is still out there? What if it gets you?” You stand up, coming to stand in front of him with your arms crossed. “Don’t try to fight whatever is out there. Alphas, wendigos, god only knows what. It’s not your problem unless they come after our pack directly. Don’t go picking fights.”

“It’s not picking fights. It’s preemptively protecting our pack.”

You scoff and turn away from him to go look out the window. “It’s stupid.”

“Are you challenging me?” Shawn asks, a slight growl in his voice.

“If I was?” you ask, not turning to look at him.

Shawn’s crosses the room and you can feel him standing behind you, heat rolling off him in waves. “I know what’s good for the pack. I’m going to find out what almost killed one of my wolves before it comes for the rest.” His voice is cold, sending a chill through your veins.

“What if you get hurt?” you ask, turning around with tears in your eyes. The last thing you wanted was for Shawn to get messed up while looking for the unknown out in those woods. Why not wait for it to come to him? Why did he have to go after it?

“Would you rather I send Geoff or Brian? How about Zack? How about I send him and let him get fucked up like Matt did? What kind of alpha would that make me?”

The slap of your hand coming across his face resounds throughout the now silent. A red welt is immediately evident on Shawn’s cheek. You retract your hand shakily and ball it into a fist at your side. Challenging an alpha was one thing, but striking one...you were honestly scared now. Somehow you manage to speak, voice only wavering a bit.  “I didn’t say send someone else, Shawn. I said don’t go chasing trouble.”  

Shawn sets his jaw and stands up straighter. His eyes are gold as he stares down at you and you’re sure he’s one the edge of shifting. The tension is thick enough to choke you, in fact it is. You really don’t know what to expect after doing what you did.

“You’d have them attack us first. You would rather they find our home and then I talk to or take care of the problem? What if they come here and they hurt you? What if they take you?” He runs his hand through his hair and pulls as he turns away as if to get a grip on his emotions. “You’re not a wolf, you can’t heal. You can’t out run an alpha...you’re so...I’m trying to protect you!”

“I’m trying to protect you too!” you yell back and then silence falls on the room. You’re standing there, arms crossed, refusing to back down. He’s doing the same. Seconds tick by and you refuse to look away. You know you’re right, that he shouldn’t go chasing trouble, if there even was trouble.

Shawn growls low in his chest. He looks royally pissed off and you’re a more than a bit scared because you’ve never seen him this angry before. Not directed at you anyways. You know if you were a wolf you would be fighting right now because you weren’t backing down and you’d slapped him. “I’ll be back later,” he says in an eerily quiet tone and leaves the bedroom.

You cross your arms and clench your jaw as an overwhelming mix of emotions crash over you. You’re angry, hurt, scared, upset. Everything. You know what Shawn is going to do, you know he won’t heed your words. Just when you thought he would listen, that he would get your approval before doing things that put him in jeopardy, he does this. It’s silly, thinking that you had any real sway with his decisions. The two of you had only been together a few weeks, hell, you hadn’t even established what you were together.

The door downstairs slams and you look out the window to see Shawn stalking across the backyard. He is stopped by Geoff who had been out on a parameter check. The second Geoff’s hand lands on Shawn’s shoulder to stop him, Shawn knocks him flat on his ass and continues on his way into the woods. You turn away, feeling bad that Geoff had to suffer the consequence of your actions. If Shawn wanted to be stupid then so be it. Maybe you were getting more than you bargained for. Maybe you weren’t ready to do this.

You wipe your cheeks with the backs of your hands and look to the door where Sam is standing, looking in at you with a concerned expression. “Wanna talk about it?” she asks, giving a weak smile.

“Yeah. Actually I do. I need to know what I’m getting into.” You sniff, wiping away a few more tears. “I need to know about wolves like Shawn.”

“Alphas?” Sam asks and you nod. “Come on, I’ll tell you anything you want.” She offers her hand and you cross the room and take it. “We can talk in the den, Matt is resting in our room right now so I don’t want to bother him.”

“Don’t you want to be with him?”

“I’d keep him awake. He won’t sleep if I’m around, he will want to talk or hold me, but right now he has to rest. I’ll check in on him in a while. Jackie will help me change his bandages when she gets home from work.” You follow Sam down to the basement and take a seat on one of the couches. She sits opposite you and grabs the tissue box off the table. “So, where do you wanna start?”

[kuksykuks]

goals check-in:

-Working lady in NYC! Landed my first internship, which practically landed into my lap. Grabbed coffee with Rad right before break, he sent my stuff to his boss, boss liked my stuff, shot me an email for interview, interviewed 3 days after winter break, and I started working on 1/29. Now doing 3 days a week with school, it’s been all about balance!

-dentist got mad at me during my last check up and told me to floss a ton. I usually ignore him completely and laugh it off, but oh my gosh, I’ve flossed almost every day since and I feel so proud of myself haha. Flossin is cute, no gingivitis is cute, no cavities are cute (though my half-cavities will not reverse themselves). yay clean teeth.

-I kept looking into veneers because despite having had braces, I wanted that hollywood too-good-to-be-true perfect smile, but then really doing research on them made me realize the process requires me having having to shave down my teeth permanently into little nubs and uhhhhhh, no fricken thanks man. So I started wearing my retainers instead after like 5 years, and this made me realize 1) I should’ve never stopped wearing them and 2) it’s never too late. My teeth already started shifting back straighter again.

-Skincare. I stopped wearing foundation pretty much and going for a natural vibe and this sounds vain lmao, but I’m???? cute??? natural???? I realized I was practically hiding my features after having such an extensive makeup routine for years, but I also built up dead skin + ugly skin. Been super into really taking off all my makeup (like 4 makeup wipes and 3 cleanses later I’ve rid of all the junk). loving it. it’s been a lot of “kuku, you look different. like REALLY good.” well thanks everyone :’) i’ve been workin on it.

-Meal preppin. chicken and broccoli and corn and homemade simmered tomato sauce and potatoes with bell peppers and poached egg and avocado. made 6 days lunches in 2 hours. 

-podcasts. somehow didn’t know apple had a podcasts app until recently and been listening to podcasts during train rides, working, to go to sleep. Trying to implement obtaining something valuable to my life in my spare times instead of wasting it.

-shopping. got into being sustainable and ordered some things from online thrifting. also asos was having a huge sale ehe. but i’m gonna also donate&sell a lot of stuff that ‘doesn’t bring me joy’ per marie kondo. I haven’t even watched the show/read her book but i will soon.

-Got off ig. Deleted instagram off my phone and if i have some dying urge to check it, i just check it on my comp. my phone updated me that my usage went down 1 hour 30 mins afterwards. I was literally wasting 10.5 hours per week on that death app smh. being off instagram seriously made me realize it has a huge affect on my happiness levels. I become depressed and constantly comparing myself to others when I’m actively on it. 

- QT. been trying to spend more time with God. While I haven’t been able to really do it everyday yet, I like the transition of actively going to church by myself here even though no one holds me accountable (in georgia, mom makes me) and listening to sermons via yt + soundcloud, reading the bible, journaling. it’s been holding me steady. I’m transitioning slowly into making God first. I know I don’t love Him yet. I want to want Him. No faking, no going through actions. I want to want to fall in love with Him. And I have no idea how to do that myself so I asked God to help me fall in love with Him. It’s working. My deepest fears and crippling anxieties and the sources/reasons for them are slowly proving themselves to be very, very untrue and also slowly but surely dissipating. begone (dark) thoughts. pun intended.  

Dang, I did a lot in January :). 

[brokemultidotexe]

Unexpected Pt.11

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You never expected your trip to Seoul to end up like it does. You didn’t expect to step off the plane and have coffee pour down your shirt. You also didn’t expect the guy to offer to show you around the city. You notice things about him that don’t quite make sense, like how he shows interest but will only see you when he has the time which is at random hours during the day and night. Who knew your only friend in Seoul would turn out to be an international star and just how difficult things could get.

Word Count: 5.4k

Warning: None

Genre: Romance/Friendship

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 10.5 | 11 | 12 |

You looked over to your left and saw that JK had fallen asleep before the two of you made it fifteen minutes into the movie. You shook your head and turned the movie off and decided to wait until he was up to watch it with him. He had been spending a lot more time with you, even if it was only for twenty minutes. It was nice seeing him more but each time you saw him he looked worse than before. You knew something was wrong and had asked him about it, but he told you that he wasn’t ready to talk about it. You dropped it and didn’t ask him again, but you couldn’t help but notice the toll that it was taking on him.

You set a timer on your phone for two hours. You figured it wouldn’t hurt to take a nap with him, because the weird hours of him coming over had your sleep cycle a little jacked up. You didn’t know what his schedule was so you figured two hours was a safe bet and decided to let him sleep. The couch wasn’t very big so it didn’t leave you a lot of room since JK was so tall. It wasn’t the first time he’d fallen asleep and taken up most of the room. Lately he seemed to be falling asleep around you more than usual. You leaned into him and let yourself drift off.

The two hours felt like two seconds because your alarm was going off only moments after you had set it. You opened your eyes and noticed that you were completely laid out on the couch and the warmth that had been there before was gone. You sleepily pushed yourself up into a sitting position.  You wondered if JK had left while you had fallen asleep. You grabbed your phone and turned off the alarm.

“You need to choose a different alarm, that sounds awful.” His voice said from the hall. He walked back into the living room to sit with you. You sleepily curled into his side and he wrapped  an arm around you. He got really quiet so you looked up at him. His worry lines were more prominent and looked lost in thought.

“Hey.” You said softly and he looked down at you. You hadn’t realized just how close the two of you were. You decided not to ask him the burning question you’ve wanted to know the answer to.  So you decided to break the silence. “I’ve noticed you’ve been falling asleep over here more. I’m worried about you. You’re pushing yourself too hard.” You bit your lip.

His eyes bore into yours, “Sleep has been escaping me lately. I guess I just feel comfortable with you, but I am sorry I keep falling asleep instead of spending time with you.”

“It’s still time, and I'm not complaining. It was just an observation that had me worried.”

“I promise, there isn’t anything to worry about. It will pass.” You nodded and he pulled you close and kissed the top of your head. “But unfortunately I do have to head back so I can practice.”

“You’ve been practicing every day. You really should take a break, even if it’s just for a day.” He gave you a smile and told you that he would call you later. You instantly missed the warmth when he left.

You realized you had gotten so used to him being around your apartment and being beside you when you napped or him just being around you in general. That it now felt weird when he wasn’t around, which didn’t make sense. There was no pattern to seeing him, it was basically when he had time and if you weren’t hanging out with Jackson.

At that thought your phone rang and you saw Jackson’s name pop up. You grabbed your phone, “Hey Jackson.”

“Hey, you busy?” you knew it was a nice way of asking if JK was there or not. It wasn’t that the two of them disliked each other...actually you weren’t sure what it was all about and you didn’t feel like trying to figure it out.

“Nope. What’s up?”

“You remember a few weeks ago I told you that if I could get tickets that I'd take you to that BTS concert, well it’s not really a concert but they’re performing. Well, I was able to score some at the last minute and wondered if you wanted to go.” You remembered the conversation, it was the day you bought that beanie for JK. You hadn’t realized that Jackson had been actively looking for tickets, so it kind of surprised you when he asked.

“Sure, I guess. When is it?”

“Tomorrow. It isn’t too far away luckily so we don’t have to travel too far or anything.” He seemed excited and it made you smile. He got excited over the smallest things. The two of you talked about specifics and you told him that you’d be ready to leave by the time he picked you up.

The rest of the night went quickly since you had to do laundry and also clean your apartment, it wasn’t that it was dirty, but you just needed something to do. You were in the middle of switching laundry when your phone went off. You finished up and went to check it. JK had text you.

JK: Hanging with you is 1000000x better than this

You couldn’t help but smile. The dynamic between the two of you had somehow shifted in the last few weeks. The feelings that you’d been fighting so hard against were start to seep through and it scared you. You couldn’t get attached or involved with him. Being attached was already out the window since the two of you had spent a majority of your time in Seoul, together.You never did get a response to your reply so you assumed that he was probably busy again, despite the fact it was two in the morning when he text you. You really wished he would sleep and take better care of himself. You loved dance just as much as he did but he was running himself into the ground.

You finished up what you could and then headed to bed. You really needed to get your sleep schedule back on track. You slept all the way into mid  day.

When you woke up you saw you had a message from JK.

JK: I probably won’t be able to come see you today, but promise me you’ll be completely inconsolable about it.

Y/N: I promise. It’s okay though, I have plans with Jackson. I meant to tell you last night but I forgot, so it works out.

There was no reply to that and honestly you didn’t really expect one. When Jackson was mentioned he always either changed the subject or went radio silent for a little bit before text you or calling you about something else. You knew for a fact that it was jealousy because of his statement the night he put your furniture together.

Boys say that girls are hard to understand but girls don’t even come close to guys and trying to figure out why they do what they do. The next message was Jackson reminding you to be ready by noon so the two of you could head to where the performance was without hitting any traffic. You dressed more for comfort than for fashion, but even you had to admit what you managed to throw together was pretty cute. The weather was still chilly sometimes but it had warmed up significantly than when you first arrived.

Jackson tried to give you a quick rundown on the group along with their names. You couldn’t keep the names straight so eventually he gave up, “Look I only came because you paid for the tickets. Odds are I won’t even like the rest of their songs.” Jackson decided the answer to your statement was to play some of their old songs. It seem they didn’t even stick to a certain type of genre, but it somehow worked for them.

The drive wasn’t too horrible and for the last half hour of it you and Jackson ended up talking about what both of you were like in high school. The both of you had been polar opposite in that time of your life. “Alright sunshine, we’re here.”

You looked up to see a stage off into the distance and a lot of people walking around. There was food and drink stalls, so it was basically a fair...but not. The both of you walked around and got food while waiting for the music to start, which didn’t take long. You heard the MC start talking about BTS and what not. You weren’t really focusing, you were casually walking and watching people freak out and run towards the stage. You rolled your eyes, “You realize this is a boy band right? I haven’t been into a boy band since N’SYNC.”

Jackson laughed, “Why are you so against kpop?”

“It’s not that I'm against it, I guess I just don’t get it. It’s cheesy songs with absolutely no real content. I bet you most of the kpop boy band songs are about love.” you laughed.

“BTS write their own lyrics and they don’t have a lot of love songs, so stop being narrow minded.” He gave you a mock glare, “Just enjoy your time with me and listen to good music.”

“Are you a BTS fanboy?”

Jackson shook his head, “I don’t know if I would call me a fanboy. But I like BTS and their music, they talk about a lot of things other idol groups don’t. They write, compose, and produce a lot of their own music.”

You found that interesting to say the least. Most artists in America didn’t write their own songs, so you figured you should at least respect the fact that they do. You flinched and covered your ears once the screaming started. You could see a line of guys up on the stage now and give a greeting. They didn’t spend much time talking oddly but from where you stood, which was pretty far back, you could see the choreography and you were very impressed. What they were doing wasn’t easy in any sense and the guy in the center was able to do that and sing without his voice wavering. “Damn.”

Jackson had a smug smile, “I told you.”

You stood there and listened to the song and Jackson was right, it wasn’t just a stupid love song. You didn’t move for a while, you ended up watching them dance through a few songs, but your eyes never left the guy that was normally in the center. He danced a lot like JK, which you had always admired.

“Wanna move closer?”

You looked over at Jackson completely forgetting that he was right beside you as you had been sucked into the performance. “Yeah sure, just let me get a drink. I’ll come find you.” Jackson nodded and headed towards the crowd. You went to the nearest stall to grab something with caffeine because you were exhausted. You heard the girl talking in front of you. “God, the way Jungkook moves is down right sinful. The things I would do to him...and his voice, god. He will forever be my bias.”

You bit your lip to keep from laughing at the girl in front of you. You continued to listen as they talked about Jungkook, whichever one that was, and found it quite hilarious...and graphic. Once they got their food and left you took a step up to the stall. “Can I just have a coke?” the person behind the stall went to get it.

You looked over at the stage because one of them had started talking to the crowd, he seemed winded which you couldn’t blame him. Each member started talking but you tuned them out once the person handed you the drink and you gave them cash and told them to just keep the change because you didn’t feel like messing with it.

When you started paying attention again they had moved on to the next song. You weaved through the people while you listened to the music and you couldn’t help but like each song you heard. So maybe Jackson was right about them being different. You would definitely be checking them out later to listen to some of their other songs. It took almost the whole song before you found Jackson dancing by himself in a small pocket in the crowd.

“Is everyone having fun?” everyone screamed in response and you had to cover one of your ears. Fan girls had iron lungs and the pitch of a flying creature when it came to boy bands.

“As you know we’re preparing for our comeback for our next album ‘The Most Beautiful Moment in Life’ and we’re really excited to share it with you. We all contributed on this album so we’re even more excited for you to hear it.”

Another voice picked up where he stopped, “Actually our maknae wrote his first full song which made it on the album.” the screaming was even louder than before, you managed to squeeze into a spot beside Jackson and you asked him to hold your drink while you fixed your boots that you had on that someone had decided to step on while you were walking through the crowd.

“I don’t think we should keep them waiting, do you? Here’s our first performance of ‘Save Me’. Let’s do it!” your head popped up at the voice, you heard it enough when you hung out with him but you were certain that JK wasn’t here and was most likely practicing. You were losing your mind and have now come to the point of hearing him when he isn’t around. Maybe you did hang out with him too much.

You thanked Jackson for holding your drink while you listened to the song. You really liked it and the lyrics were amazing, yet again. They had already won you over despite wanting to not be into a boy band. You actually really liked this song and decided that you’d probably add it to your Spotify playlist when it was released. You watched as all seven of them danced so in sync. You were in awe of it before but even more so now since it seemed they were always in sync with every choreography of every song.

When the song stopped all of the people in the group were breathing hard “We hope you enjoyed the song. JK anything you want to add?” the tallest asked.

“Yeah, I hope you enjoyed the song and please show it lots of love.” your heart practically stopped beating, you without a doubt couldn’t mistake that voice for anyone. You looked over at the stage and saw him standing there, your eyes got wide. You’d been watching him this whole time and hadn’t realized it. You didn’t hear anything else that was said after you saw him. It made sense why it seemed like the guy moved a lot like JK did. Your mind was running a thousand miles a minute.

You turned to Jackson “I need to go.”

“What? Why? Is everything okay?” he looked so confused and worried.

“I just need--” you couldn’t even finish your sentence the thought, “I’ll call you.”

You handed him your drink and weaved through the crowd, you faintly heard him calling your name but you kept walking. You needed to get away from the crowd of people. You didn’t really know what emotions you were feeling. As your mind was slowly processing what just happened some of the things in the beginning of your friendship made sense, like the mask. You walked a ways up the street and found a bench to sit on. It was far enough away from people that you felt like you could breathe. JK was an idol and part of you was so frustrated. He didn’t lie, technically, but for some reason you felt a small sense of betrayal. It didn’t make any sense. There were so many emotions that it was hard to identify them.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been sitting there but the crowd had mostly thinned out, so the event must be over. You saw a few SUVs pull up to the curb in your peripheral vision as you leaned back and ran your fingers through your hair. You didn’t know how he had kept this from you for months.

You stood up and stretched, your body aching a bit. This was a sign that you had been sitting there longer than you thought. It was the sound of his laugh that made you turn your head quickly. He was walking with the other people of his group to the SUVs. He was laughing with a few of them but you made eye contact with one person, and it wasn’t JK, it was Jimin the guy that had shown up at the dance studio when JK had taken you there. You were frozen and he seemed to be surprised seeing you standing there. He reached out and stopped JK from walking any further. He looked at Jimin in confusion and pushed him playfully but Jimin hit him in the stomach and tilted his head towards you.

What probably had only been a few seconds felt like minutes. His eyes had looked over at you and your stomach flipped, but this time it was different. It didn’t feel like butterflies, and it made you feel sick to your stomach. Neither of you said anything but what little color he did have in his face had left. Jimin leaned in and said something in JK’s ear and climbed into the SUV. The vehicles didn’t leave but the rest of the people had given the both of you as much privacy as they could.

“Y/N.” he started walking towards you but you put a hand up stopping him from walking any further. You didn’t know if you could have any type of conversation until you had a chance to process everything, you didn’t want to do or say anything rash. Part of you was irritated that he felt like he couldn’t tell you and part of you was hurt he didn’t think that he could trust you, and a million other feelings that you couldn’t quite explain.

“What are you doing here?” his voice shook a little..

You don’t know how you managed it, but Jackson’s name tumbled out. The two of you just continued to stare at each other. You were finally able to find your voice after a moment, “So you’re an idol?”

He looked scared, “Y/N I've been trying to figure out how to tell you. I’ve been going out of my mind trying to come up with some way of telling you that didn’t end badly.”

“So all of this,” you waved your hand around, “is the reason for the weird hours and you finding ways to fit me into your busy schedule while I wait around to see if I'll even get to see you.”

“Don’t say it like that, it has never been like that.” You hadn’t meant for it to come out so harshly, but part of you couldn’t help but feel irritated that you were basically at his beck and call while he lived his idol life. It hadn’t bothered you as much when you thought it was just him and his dance studio, which didn’t make sense, but finding out the real reason made you mad. You were trying your best to keep your emotions in check.

“This is bullshit.” the phrase came out in English which sounded weird after talking in Korean for so long, but you weren't sure how to express how you felt in Korean.

“Look, can we just go talk? I’ll find a way to make it work so we have time.”

Yet again, he had to try and fit you into his schedule, “Actually I'm not sure I can fit you into my schedule.” you bit your lip knowing what you were doing was petty, but you wouldn’t apologize. “I need time to process all of this.” you took a few steps back getting ready to walk away.

“Y/N, please! Why does it matter what my profession is? I’m still the same person, nothing has changed. How I am with you, that’s me. I’m just JK when I'm with you, I'm not an idol, I'm not part of BTS. I’m me.” He was pleading with you and you felt your chest tighten.

“Like I said, I just need some time to process and figure things out.”

“Please don’t shut me out.” he pleaded, but you said nothing. He looked like he was in physical pain and your instinct was to make him feel better, but this was one time that you couldn’t. “Will you text me then? Whatever your decision is, good or bad.”

You nodded, “I gotta go.” you turned and pulled out your phone. You immediately closed all the notifications from Jackson. You got yourself an Uber to take you home, you didn’t care about how much it would cost to take you back. It took everything in you not to look back and see if he was still standing there.

You were sitting on your couch curled up in your blanket watching a movie with Jackson. Truthfully you weren’t even watching it. You’d felt off the entire week and you really missed having JK around. You’d gotten so used to his presence being around all the time that the apartment seemed quiet and lonely without him there. You still hadn’t been able to fully figure out how you felt about everything, instead you’d spent the week doing whatever you could to keep yourself busy. The crazy thing was you knew your emotions didn’t fit the crime, which there wasn’t one.

The TV turned off and you looked up and then over at Jackson who was holding the remote, “You’ve been in your own world for the past week. You’ll barely talk and you won’t tell me what happened at the concert, which was when all of this started.”

You chewed your bottom lip, You couldn’t talk to him about it. JK had a right to his privacy and you didn’t want to cause him any issues. “I can’t talk about it.” you sighed.

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Can you give me a cliff notes version? Give me something that will at least tell me what's going on. I’m worried about you. You’re never this quiet and you’ve closed yourself off with anything to do with the outside world. You haven’t left your apartment in a week.” You knew that he wasn’t going to drop it. He’d been getting frustrated with you more and more, and you couldn’t blame him. He tried to make you feel better but everything just felt off.

You turned yourself so you were facing him on the couch, “What would you do if you found out someone important to you had kept a huge secret from you?”

He seemed to think about the question, “Depends on how big the secret was.”

“Pretty big. To the point it could change a lot of things.” you started picking at the fringe on your jeans.

“Well, did they have a valid reason?” After a moment he nudged you when you didn’t answer.

“Kinda. That’s the part that’s complicated.”

“Have you talked to them about it?”

You shook your head, “No, I've gone radio silent until I can figure out how I feel about it all.”

“Let me ask you this, does the secret change what you think or feel about that person?” He was watching your every move and it you disliked him reading you so much.

“No, but there’s a lot of factors.”

He sighed, “I’m going to be blunt, is this about JK?” You tried so hard not to react but your heart started beating faster and you froze, “That explains a lot.”

“Jackso--”

“I know you care about him in a different way than you care about me. You’ve been miserable all week. Just call him and talk it out.”

“We’re just friends.”

“You suck at lying.” he laughed.

You opened your mouth to argue but there was a knock at your door. You got up off the couch and walked to the front door and opened it. You jumped when you saw JK standing there looking nervous. “JK what are you doing here? I told you I'd call yo--”

“It’s been a week and I've tried so hard to be patient, but I'm going out of my mind Y/N.” he rushed out.

“JK, now isn’t a good time. I’ll ca--”

“Actually it’s a perfect time you t--holy shit!” you spun around and saw Jackson standing there with his jacket getting ready to leave. You looked back at JK who had taken his mask off to talk to you. He looked startled and your mind was completely blank on what you should do or say. “You’re Jungkook.” he said shocked.

All three of you stood there awkwardly no one knowing what to say. Jackson looked at you, “This explains SO much and why you bolted at the concert. With that being said, I’m going to leave you two to talk things out.” He slid past you but still looked shocked to see JK standing at your front door.

“Jackson you can’t say anything.” You told him before he made it too far.

“I wouldn’t.” he said and then looked at JK, “Don’t let her push you away, she’s been moping around all week.”

“Jackson!” you yelled out.

“What? You both look miserable, so talk it out. Call me if you need me.” He slipped out the door leaving you and JK standing there awkwardly.

“Please just hear me out.” He pleaded with you softly.

You opened the door wider allowing him to come inside. He walked in and headed towards the living room. You followed behind him after shutting the door. He hadn’t taken a seat on the couch like you had expected him to. Instead he was still standing and was fidgeting. “Okay so what do you need to say?”

“Can you at least sit down?”

You nodded and obliged. You took your normal seat at the edge and tucked your feet beneath yourself and waited for him to start. He stood there, “JK?”

“Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out where to start.” he put his hands in his pants pockets before pulling them back out again. “I know you’re mad that I didn’t tell you sooner, and I get that. You have every right to be, but it wasn’t just me that I had to think about. Whenever I decided to tell you, it would then involve the other members. I wanted to tell you so badly, but part of me was worried that if you knew what I did or who I was to the public that things would change. I liked being able to be myself around you and I didn’t want to lose that. I can’t get that anywhere else but the dorms but they’re my brothers, it’s different. With you there wasn’t talk about work it was just me and you hanging out and sometimes that was the only thing that got me through my long days. I know not telling you was messed up, and I'm sorry. I tried to find a way to tell you multiple times ever since you mentioned BTS in your kitchen. I was scared that I would lose you if I told you because I didn’t tell you sooner, and I know that doesn’t make much sense but I didn’t want to lose you. Jimin told me that I needed to tell you because if you found out from anyone but me that it would be worse. I wish I could take back how you found out, not that you did but how it happened. I would do it all over and I would tell you in person so I could explain like I am now.”

You weren’t sure he took a breath at any point during his speech with how fast he was talking, but you were pretty sure you caught every word. You didn’t really think much about the fact that the other people in the group had to be taken into consideration. You felt guilt start to rise up in your chest from not talking to him. You could see the prominent dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he looked like he was going to pass out from exhaustion at any second. “JK…” You weren’t sure what you had planned to say, so his name died on your lips.

He walked around your coffee table and sat down on it across from you so it brought you two closer to each other, “I promise that I will be completely honest about everything from here on out. I talked with everyone the day you found out, once we had gotten back to the dorms. Jimin helped me explain the things I couldn’t put into words because I was still recovering from watching you walk away from me. Jimin was the only person that knew before the hyungs, and while the rest of them were confused at first and there were a lot of questions that I had to answer. I told them that you never pushed for answers I wasn’t willing to give and that you didn’t see me without a mask for the longest time. We talked for the rest of that day about everything and what possibilities there were now that you knew.” He paused and put his hand on your leg, “Y/N I've done everything I can think of. There are limitations to what I can talk to you about and things I can take you with me to. But those limitations are for the other members privacy and there are other things that we can talk about later, but please don’t push me away. Not seeing you or talking to you this whole week was one of the worst things I've had to endure in a long time.”

He sat there and waited for you to say something. “JK I've been trying to figure my emotions about this whole thing for a week. Yes, it sucked knowing that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. I get not telling me in the beginning but we hang out almost every day and it’s been months. Plus I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you’re an idol. From what little Jackson told me in the past was that you guys were getting even more popular and that’s intimidating. Hell, I haven’t even had the guts to use Naver to look up BTS. It’s new for me just like it is for you, only you’re a celebrity and a shit ton of people know your name. You should hear the things those girls were saying at that concert.”

His face turned red, which meant he knew what girls thought about him. You’d never think he actually knew with the way he carries himself. “I’ll do whatever, I just don’t want to lose you. You mean a lot to me.”

You gave him a small smile, “You aren’t going to lose me. I still don’t know how I feel about everything and I'm still trying to figure out a lot of things with the new bit of information I have.”

He visibly relaxed, “would you be okay if I stayed for a little bit? I don’t have anything to do today, I honestly thought I'd be trying to convince you all night.”

You nodded, “You’re always welcome here, you know that.”

“Good.” He sat on the couch and leaned back, “Want to watch the movie from the last time I was here?”

You nodded, “Sure.” you got up to go through the stack of DVDs you had. “Hey what was the last thing you remember?” you called out over your shoulder. After a moment of no answer you turned around and JK was passed out on your couch like he always did. You smiled to yourself and got up to grab a blanket and sat beside him and got into a position you were comfortable with and decided to take a nap with him.

AN: I hope there aren’t too many mistakes in there, i tried to proof read it but i didn’t have a lot of time. So i just want to let you know that there are actually 3 other versions of how the reader finds out but i ended up choosing this one so hopefully this will satisfy everyone. I’ve you’ve stayed with the fic until now, you’re a trooper. Future chapters will be longer since I’m not confined into a small area of what the reader can do without finding out. Thank you guys for being patient, i tried my best to get it out as fast as i could without it being complete and total shit. This isn’t the best, but i can deal with the outcome of this one. I hope you at least enjoyed reading it and sorry it’s so long, i debated breaking it up into two chapters but i figured i have tortured you enough. Ugh! Why am i nervous to post this!?

*requests are OPEN*

[too-many-plants-man]

Finding out about the concept of spoons has been enlightening. I didn't just find out about it but it really helps put my issues completing any task into perspective.

On good days, getting ready for bed is all under one category.

On mediocre days, getting ready for bed is a few activities (brush teeth, wash hair, clean body, do face routine).

On bad days, every thing previously listed is broken down everything that goes into it (go to sink, wet tooth brush, uncap toothpaste, lightly squeeze the right amount of toothpaste onto the toothbrush, recap toothbrush, put brush in mouth, brush teeth and tongue without making a mess, rinse toothbrush off, put in cup, rinse mouth, gargle, rinse again, etc for other tasks) with pain going off the entire time from having to stand to complete that task.

Readmore under the cut because there's a lengthy description of my chronic pain and how it affected my day to day life.

There was a period of time where every time I had to brush my teeth felt like a complicated, thousand step task.

At that time it was also incredibly painful to stand for any period of time (before I had gotten my expensive supports for my shoes and a bunch of corticosteroid shots and two minor surgical procedures to help alleviate the problem).

That pain lasted from October 2018 to last week, gradually diminishing until I didn't even realize I wasn't limping every morning when I got out of bed.

Today was the first day since getting my supports that I didn't wear them to work and I went through my 10.5 hour shift without any pain. Even now, I'm shoeless and my feet haven't swelled up coupled with pain so severe it would bring me to tears at times.

Brushing my teeth is an easier task now and I don't lay curled up in fetal position in the shower because it hurts to stand long enough to clean myself. I had put off so many showers because of that. I got to the point where I'd force myself to go in once a week just so that I didn't get super depressed from not being clean.

My family was generally unhelpful because they didn't get the amount of pain I was in, they just saw me not trying anymore. They'd insist (force) me to go on walks with them because they thought that would fix the problem but, it just made it so that I was exhausted and in pain and even more resistant to showering and other self care tasks.

[seedling-lotus]

...

oh, my brain is such a freaking mess... and quite frankly, i can’t tell if i’m still recovering from my stupid stunt of working a 20 hour shift last week or just tired from poor sleep patterns, or if my meds are still making me tired even though we changed them because my last set of meds was making me tired. and then there’s the fact that I was all like “I’m just going to work 40 hours this week” and i’ve already blown that out of the water. I mean, not, like, fully, because I did leave relatively on time on Monday, and I left at around 5 yesterday because I wanted to go get my ring fixed, but I worked 10.5 hours today, and I don’t know how many hours on Tuesday and I’ll probably end up working 10-11 hours tomorrow and I’m just... tired... but when i’m home i don’t have any motivation to do any of the things i might need to do or want to do or anything. and like, it’s not even the money that has me working such long hours. like, don’t get me wrong. the money is a nice bonus, but like. i just want to do the work. like yeah, getting out of bed in the morning sucks because i’m tired, but... i don’t mind going to work. even when i’m burnt out i don’t dread going to work. i enjoy work, even though it’s frustrating and aggravating and stressful and never ending and i’m so far behind because i had to pretty much learn everything myself and i inherited a whole mess of work from my predecessor which means i started off behind and now i’m still behind, and possibly even more behind and it’s all just very aggravating because more work gets added on the daily and it’s not really easy work. well, it’s not hard but it’s very time consuming and i’m just one person and i can only do so much in a day and i’m very, very bad at asking for help, or accepting offered help and I... *sigh* unfortunately, the only way I’m going to “catch up” as it were is if I manage to get everything that I already have reported properly, and recorded, and so on. But it took me... like... 6 hours today to report and record a single trailer? and that was one of the short trailers. so like. I’ve got two other short trailers and 2 long trailers of freight that all need to be stripped out, reported, and recorded. and then a good two-3 trailers worth of freight on the dock that needs to be reported/recorded and that would get me caught up on that part. never mind actually getting any of it out. it’s... so much more work right now than I can really manage by myself, but, I don’t know. I just don’t know. I’m being given help tomorrow and hopefully I’ll be able to slam through the other two short trailers (because I won’t be the one moving the freight) and that way i can get those reported and recorded and sent off for authorization so i can start moving stuff out. if i manage to do all of that quickly then maybe i’ll have some time to work on the dock freight (there’s so much freaking freight on the dock it’s irritating)

but anyway, I’m done venting about work. that wasn’t really the reason I started this ramble. I started this ramble to vent about my workaholic tendencies. I’m like, more than slightly work obsessed. I don’t know when to stop. I made myself stop working at 10.5 hours today and came home and immediately started talking work with my best friend. like... just... stop... and I don’t even know why I’m like this. I’ve never been like this with any other company, but this company... I don’t know. I just feel the need to work. to help. to keep working and try to get as much done as humanly possible. 

also, as a side note, i found out that one of the guys on the overnight crew thinks I don’t do my job and like... um... fuck you very much? Maybe I’m not super productive every day, but I do get work done every day. It’s not my fucking fault you assholes throw everything under the sun into my bay and the terminal manager keeps pulling me to work other things that I’m also behind on because every time I try to catch up on one thing I fall behind on everything else.... focus on the new stuff, focus on the old stuff, focus on the lost stuff, go find this, deal with this customer. I’m only one person!!! shit takes time!!! fucking hell. I’m filled with rage, honestly. 

but not enough rage to hate my job. honestly, I count myself as lucky that I’ve been with this company for as long as I have. this has been the longest I’ve ever worked for 1 company. and unless they fire me, or something better gets dropped in my lap, I won’t be leaving for a while yet. largely in part because I just... want to fix this mess... and it’s such a mess... I’m still dealing with stuff from when my predecessor was working the job.... and he got fired in March...

i think the hardest/worst part of the job is that... at least for me... I can’t ask for help. I mean, I can, obviously, but it doesn’t really help me. I can ask for help manifesting trailers and manifesting my bay and what have you. But If I don’t do the work? if I don’t move the freight and put eyes and hands on the freight and report the freight... I don’t recognize it. “Do you have this?” I don’t know. I’d have to check. and unfortunately, I would have to check paper manifests because this system is a nightmare. and i have ADHD (probably) so actually finding things on a paper list is... unlikely at best.(which reminds me, I need to re-write the manifest I did today so it’s actually legible because it got really sloppy there towards the end...)

alright, it’s 9:30. I need to go make myself put away the leftovers from dinner and shower and at least get in bed if not go to sleep. (my motivation to actually sleep despite how tired i am is very low because I stupidly bought a case of iced tea so i have caffeine to get me through the work day now...)

[downwiththeficness]

A Need So Great-Chapter 16

Summary: Eva Moore is assigned to work the last year of her contract with the DEA in Colombia. She just wants to get to the end of her tenure, but she keeps getting drawn further into a string of murders in the city. It isn’t long before she’s forced to face the ghosts of her past.

Word Count: ~4,500

Warnings: Smut, lots of it.

A/N: For the purposes of this story, Carrillo isn’t married--or, if you like, divorced. A/B/O dynamics are prevalent, and they come with their own warning. The overall rating for this story is Explicit, although not every chapter will contain adult themes.

Taglist: @dirtynerdy98 @1zashreena1 @heresathreebee @deliciouslyclassytrash @maybege @kid-from-new-zealand @clydesducktape @revolution-starter @autumnleaves1991-blog @jedi-mando @buckysalefty @anaeve

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8.5, 9, 10, 10.5, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

She nested. In piles of pillows and blankets that he’d scrounged from around the house, Eva laid comfortably, passing in and out of sleep. This time, she’d convinced Horacio to lay with her, and it seemed that he’d absorbed the need to rest from her. He’d made sure that the outside world knew what had happened, making a single call to Javier. And then he’d fallen back into the bed, pulling her close.

Aside from the occasional excursion for food and water, or to take care of any bodily needs, they hadn’t left the nest. Eva had spent countless minutes, looking at his profile or tracing the bend and curve of his body. He let her explore at will, his eyes always half open, a small, satisfied smile on his lips.

It was in the wee hours of the morning that Eva was currently enjoying this very activity. Horacio was fast asleep, his body relaxed in a way that told her that his rest was deep. He didn’t stir when she turned over and leaned on an elbow, hovering over him. They had talked into the night, and he’d only just succumbed to unconsciousness.  Although tired, herself, Eva found that she would much rather be doing exactly what she was doing right now.

Her mind went over the last week. She’d gone from a threat to her life, to yet another murder, to a synthetic and painful heat that was (thankfully) only a few hours long, to nesting with Horacio. The whiplash of her emotions had finally settled and Eva found that the feelings she’d been working to push down were becoming impossible to ignore. In the quiet and the dark, they bubbled up and overflowed her defenses.

Hand running a path down the middle of his chest, Eva scratched her nails through the hair below his bellybutton, ruffling it affectionately. On his back, one arm at his side, the other angled around the pillow beneath his head, he looked gorgeous. The pale morning light cast him in blues and grays, catching on the silver just beginning to peek through the hair at his temples. She touched it lightly, winding a finger around a curl.

Shifting so that she lay more or less atop him, Eva lowered her lips to his, pressing chastely. Fingers tracing from his temple down along his cheek, his jaw, the jut of his chin. She kissed him again, pulling back to watch his eyelashes undulate against his skin. He moved a little, somewhere between sleep and waking. A little huffing breath fanned over her cheek.  

Eva breathed his name, smiling when he gave her a raspy hum in return. She lay her head against his chest, inhaling his scent. Lazily, the arm by his side lifted and her skimmed his thumb over her side. Eva looked up to see him looking at her with hooded eyes.

“Can you do something for me?” She asked in a soft voice.

He nodded, blinking slowly.

Eva gathered knees underneath her, resting a little more of her weight on her palms, “Will you let me lead this time?”

Seeming to consider it, Horacio gave an eventual nod, his hand dropping to the bed as if to signal his acquiescence. Eva smiled, kissing him lightly. Moving underneath his chin, she laid a kiss there. And then on his Adam’s apple, the hollow of his throat. On the way further downward, she interspersed her kisses with little nibbles, soft scrapes of her teeth. Beneath her lips and hands, his heart beat picked up, an increasing pulse that let her know he was enjoying every second of her attention.

His skin, rough in the places that needed to be, was soft elsewhere. And, it was in this softness that she found where he was sensitive—a little ticklish. He huffed a laugh when she trailed her fingers over his sides, in the little burrows between his muscles. His hands twitched to grasp at her, but she held them gently back down to the bed.

Beneath the layers of blankets, he was as naked as she was, and she could feel the evidence of his pleasure growing against her belly. Eva spent a long time, moving between kissing his body and kissing his mouth. Each pass upwards found him more eager, his head arching up to meet her. She took his kiss greedily, sucking on his lower lip, dipping her tongue inside.

He was so patient—so damned controlled—that Eva felt something stir inside. As grateful as she was that he’d not taken advantage of her not-quite-heat, there was a small part of her that wondered how he’d endured watching her dissolve into a cataclysm of need and remain in that fucking chair. If it had been the other way around—if she had been listening to his voice pleading with her—there was no way that she could have kept herself from going to him.

Perhaps it was because the heat originated from the serum, not from her normal hormonal fluctuations. Perhaps it was because he knew she wasn’t quite in her right mind. Either way, Eva had something to prove to herself and she was going to do it.

Decision made, she shimmied down his torso, leaving a wake of sweet kisses that had him sighing. The sound encouraged her, and so it came as a surprise when he grasped her shoulders, halting her progress as she nuzzled his hip.

“You don’t have to do that,” he asserted lowly, his brows furrowed.

Eva tilted her head to the side, unwilling to be dissuaded, “I want to.”

She could feel how much he wanted it, too, and not just in the firm weight of his cock laying against his stomach. His whole body was drawn up tight, working to keep from flexing his hips up towards her. The set of his jaw, though, told her that he was willing to be stubborn about this.

“Still, its not—,”

Eva cut him off, “You do this for me all the time. Are you telling me that you don’t enjoy it?”

Quickly, he was shaking his head, his eyes widening, “No, I mean yes. I—,”

She laughed, rubbing a soothing hand over his stomach and kissing just to the side of his bellybutton, “What I mean is that this will be as enjoyable for me as it would be for you, if it were the other way around.”

Looking dubious, his words were small, hesitant, “You’re my omega. I shouldn’t treat you like that.”

And here they were again, circling around his inhibitions, the things he’d been taught or had learned from one relationship or another. Eva contemplated letting it go, she contemplated calling him on it. What she settled on was completely different.

With soft, slow motions, she pulled her knees underneath her so that she was more or less sitting on her heels between his legs. He was looking down at her, eyes curious, sparking with interest. Daintily, she pushed the covers down towards the end of the bed so that there was no obstruction to the view for either of them. Lowering her palms to the mattress on either side of his hips, Eva slid her body over the sheets, arching so that her arms, torso, and hips were exposed in one lean line scaling upwards.

She looked up was him from beneath her lashes, waiting. He swallowed, but his hands fell back to the bed, a silent green light that had Eva smiling even as she ducked down between his thighs. Working her way up from his knees, she pressed little kisses and licks to the sensitive skin. He twitched beneath her when she rolled her tongue along his inner thighs, hands holding him open.

Eva kept her exploration of him slow, letting him get used to the soft, sweet touches. She wanted him relaxed and completely unprepared for what she was now considering the second phase of her plan. Deliberately, she avoided the places she knew he wanted her most, just barely skimming by his cock as she mouthed over the crease of his hips, hands tucking under his body and massaging the backs of his thighs.

When he sighed and settled further into the bed, Eva was reminded of the sounds she often made when he was tending to her needs. A low, happy sound that told her she was on the right track. Nuzzling into the skin below his bellybutton, Eva let him feel her breath, could see where goosebumps rose over his skin. She smiled, pleased. Then, she gave his thighs one last firm stroke upwards from knee to hip, her hands meeting around the heavy weight of his erection.

He groaned a little, and Eva looked up to see him pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. His eyes looked between her hands, his body, and her mouth. There was an eagerness in the expression that confirmed to her that he had some definite thoughts about this and that they were definitely positive.

Holding his gaze, Eva opened her mouth to show him her tongue. And then she used that tongue to lick up his shaft in a long, slow, intimate caress. When she reached the tip, Eva changed the angle of her head and pulled the head between her lips, sucking gently.

He might have said her name, might have moaned, might have checked the movement of his hips upwards. Eva was a little more focused on loosening her jaw and taking him down as far as she could. Her original assessment was fairly correct. She could only take a few inches into her mouth, the thickness of him too wide. It didn’t seem to matter. One look at his face scrunched in pleasure told her that he wasn’t complaining.

Pulling off him for a moment to take a breath, Eva’s hands stroked what she couldn’t reach with lips and tongue. His breaths were coming faster, sweat gathering in the hollows between the ropes of muscle that covered him. She swirled her tongue over the tip, dipping back down to mouth along his length, working hard not to smile when he sucked in air, eyes closing, chin tilting back.

For as long as she thought he could handle it, Eva kept a moderate pace, moving between bobbing her head over him, hollowing her cheeks on the upswing and rubbing her lips over him when his moans got a little too loud.

The consistent barrage of sensation kept him rising steadily towards orgasm, his cock hardening a little more in preparation. Eva sped up her movements, watching as his sack drew up tight to his body.

Horacio croaked her name, then, “I’m gonna come.”

Three words that sounded desperate, needy. She didn’t often get to hear that tone in his voice, too consumed by the feelings rocketing through her own body. Eva lifted off him, though she kept her hands exactly where they were, moving over him with firm strokes.

“No, you’re not.”

Legs clenching on either side of her, he bit out, “Yes. Yes”

He was very, very close. His feet kicked out a bit, scrambling for purchase against the sheets. His breaths were coming in stilted, staccato huffs, ending with a little whine. Those whines came more frequently, his hands curling into fists. This was when Eva initiated phase two.

Firmly, she encircled the head with her thumb and first two fingers, squeezing just enough to limit the blood flow. He jerked at the sensation, his eyes flying open. She held him there, not touching him anywhere else, for about thirty seconds or so. His breathing slowed down, though he remained hard, his heart beat pulsing.

When she let him go and began crawling up his body, he shot her a confused, frustrated look. She simply smiled at him and leaned down to touch his cheek, her mouth following not far behind. Horacio turned his head, catching her mouth and drawing her into a deep kiss. It took real effort for Eva to keep her head when he was dragging his tongue along hers, teeth scraping.

When his hands rose to palm her hips, she pulled back with a gasp, grabbing at his wrists and pushing them into the pillow by his head.

Fixing him with what she hoped was a stern look, she said, “I’m not done with you yet.”

His mouth thinned, but she could see the intrigue in his eyes. When his arms went lax beneath her weight, she kissed him quickly and leaned over the bed to pull open the drawer of the nightstand and snag a condom from the pile.

Eva was delighted to find that he’d brought them along, having forgotten to pack her own in the hurry to get out of her apartment as fast as possible. Horacio wouldn’t be Horacio if he wasn’t prepared for all contingencies, a fact that continued to benefit her wonderfully.

She opened the packet and rolled the condom on. Then, she settled onto her hands and knees, looking over his body as she plotted her next move.  There had been no phase three in her plan, no time to really think about where she wanted to go in the few seconds that she’d taken to lay down her design. She only knew that she wanted to drive him out of his mind. To bring him to the brink of rut, and then set him loose upon her.

Carefully, she lined him up and made the initial push down. As was usual, Eva could only lower herself about a third of the way before she was wincing just a bit. Horacio always made sure he massaged her open before he thrust inside, and the lack of preparation made the burn a bit hotter than she was used to.

He flinched a little, brows furrowing in concern. She shushed him, lifting and lowering again, letting gravity provide the extra assist. And again, until she was fully seated. Beneath her, Horacio took a deep breath, his Adam’s apple bobbing. She leaned down and kissed the center of his chest, fingers running soothing circles over his skin.

For a while, Eva just sat there, hips giving the tiniest little roll, until he began to squirm. Then, she leaned back and set her hands upon his thighs, letting him see every move she made as she thrust down on him.

Doing her best to mirror her earlier pace, Eva felt her body grow slick and warm, her folds swelling to grip him better. She ground down on him, giving herself some much needed friction. It didn’t matter that she’d done the lion’s share of the foreplay, her body responded to him as it always did, a warm, wet welcome. He rolled his hips up into her, trying to get deeper. Eva’s lips pulled back from her teeth, the feeling spiking the steady rise of her arousal.

Shifting her weight forward again, she forced her body to stop moving, her hands pushing down on his hips in warning.

“Try to stay still,” she murmured, “Can you do that for me?”

Horacio’s mouth dropped open, panting breaths sounding as he tried to think. She was pleased that it took him so long to nod, limbs moving as if to brace himself. Eva was half tempted to reward him for his ready agreement, to let him come. But, she had to keep the endgame in mind.

Spreading her legs a bit more, Eva let her body sink as far down as it could, his cock nudging against her cervix. She held still for a few moments, watching him watch her, taking in the want in his expression. With the fingers of one hand, she touched herself, wide circles that brushed against the root of his cock. Inside, she could feel him contract. From the outside, she watched his eyes take on that deep focus she loved so much. Game on.

Though Eva very much wanted to begin moving on him with long, deep strokes, she limited herself to small shimmies. It was enough to remind her that he was still pushing the boundaries of her body, splitting her apart from within. She ground down harder on him, eyes closing as her need grew. The wide circles of her fingers tightened down with the internal muscles gripping him harder and harder, until the orgasm blossomed out of her along with a high, keening, moan.

Grunting, Horacio grabbed at her knees hard. His whole body fairly vibrated as he worked desperately to keep as still as possible. When the ringing in Eva’s ears died down, she gulped a breath and pulled his hands away, setting them back where she’d put them before.

“Grip the pillow, if you need to,” she rasped.

He did as she suggested, body bowing up to get more contact. She used one hand to push him back down, the other carding through his hard and pulling gently. He groaned, turning his head to catch a little bit of the skin on her forearm between his teeth.

“I’m going to let you do what you need to,” she whispered near his ear, “Very soon. But, I need you to be good until then.”

Eyes closed, he swallowed audibly and nodded. Eva decided that the ready acceptance of her request was enough to deserve a little bit of a reward. Slowly, she lifted off him, letting his cock fall to his stomach. He gave a soft sound of disappointment, his eyes searching her face.

“I thought you might like to see how wet you’ve made me,” she offered by way of explanation.

His eyes shot down to the apex of her thighs, where she was hovering a few inches above him. Eva let her body relax and open, until a drop of her slick fell from her lips to land on his stomach just to the side of his erection. The muscles of his arms bunched and she glanced up to see that his fingers were digging hard enough into the fabric of the pillow case that she thought he might tear it.

He held himself fairly still, though, other than a very slight flex of his stomach upwards and the likely involuntary pulse of his cock. Eva smiled and kissed him, hand cupping his face. With a movement that wasn’t as graceful as she’d like, she sank down on him again, reveling in the little gasp of pleasure he made against her mouth.

With long, firm rolls of her hips, she rode him the way she knew he liked, little twists of her hips thrown in sporadically. He writhed beneath her, his control lapsing as he watched her, eyes wide open and hungry. She kept going until he his eyes rolled back, until she knew he was on the brink of coming. And then, against the burn of her own needs, she lifted off him, rocking forward onto her hands. To assuage the need to keep the connection, Eva kissed him, all teeth and tongue.

To his credit, he remained on his back, though his hips lifted off the bed, trying to get a little more friction. She lay down on her side next to him, one leg thrown over his thigh so that she could alleviate the ache left unfulfilled.

Between kisses, he asked, “Eva, what are you doing?”

She didn’t answer, choosing instead to continue to kiss him, rotating her folds against the hard muscle, hips rocking. Occasionally, she’d brush against his cock, earning herself a low moan. She could feel his heart pound against the hand she had braced on his chest, could tell he was losing the battle with his impulses ever so slowly.

Eva let herself come, grinding against him. Then, after catching her breath, she pushed up on shaky limbs and seated herself on him again. He gave a shout that he made every attempt to cut off, unable to stop from pushing up into her until he could get no deeper.  Eva held still, letting him come down a little before she started moving again. His arousal rose faster this time, higher, and it wasn’t long before she was stopping, waiting.

Horacio was glaring at her, and she knew that she’d earned some serious retribution, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. The need to break him down to the alpha that was tightly leashed in his core overshadowed any thought of what consequences her actions might create.

It went on like that—her touching him, fucking him, until he got so close to coming that he could probably taste it. And then, as close to the last second as she could manage, she’d stop, or rise up until he slipped out of her. Though there were cracks in his control, his body shaking and sweating all over, Eva wanted more from him. She wanted him begging for it.

Deciding to try one more thing, she caught his attention, saying, “Can you sit up for me? No touching.”

A long inhale through his nose, a nod, and then he was working his way to sitting, the motion jostling him inside her. She groaned, her hands wandering up his stomach to his chest, to his shoulders. The light of the morning had crept in, setting his body aglow with sun. Eva wasn’t sure how long she’d been teasing him, but placed her guess at a few hours.

His eyes had lost a little bit of that focus, his mouth wet and swollen from her kiss. He swayed a little bit, leaning into her touch. She almost had him where she needed him.  Just another little push.

“You’re doing so good,” she praised, rubbing her cheek against the stubble along his jaw, “I can’t believe how good you’re doing.”

Beneath her, his body shuddered, hips lifting a fraction. He was drawing in deep, calming breaths, trying to gain some steadiness. That wouldn’t do.

Eva kissed him, saying against his mouth, “I knew you would be. I knew the second I saw you that the sex would be good between us. Do you know what I didn’t know?”

He shook his head, taking the kisses she offered in between words.

“I didn’t know how perfect you be inside me,” she groaned, “When I first felt you I thought you’d never fit, but look at how good you fill me up.”

Putting pressure on his chin, Eva tilted his head down as she rose above him, letting him watch as she dropped slowly along his length until she’d reached the hilt. His breath was ragged, muscles trembling. Sweat dripped down his temple and over his cheek. Eva caught the drop with her tongue, moving to kiss him.

Rolling against his body, she licked her lips, trying to get the words out coherently as her core began to tighten, “If I had known how good you were going to treat me, how many times you would make me come, I would have let you take that first rut out on me. Let you fuck me until I screamed.”

His hand slammed down on the mattress, eyes squeezing shut as he visibly battled for control. The sound that came out of his chest was near feral, his teeth bared. That was enough for her. Eva didn’t have the capacity to revel in the near victory, her body crying out for her to end this, and soon.

“I’m going to let you go in a minute,” she told him, words soft and sweet.

Eyes wild, he looked at her, trying to discern her meaning. Eva had been holding him back for so long that he probably thought she’d keep going forever.

She shushed him, “I’m going to let you touch me. But, I need you to promise me something first.”

He breathed his assent before she finished the sentence, anticipation slithering over every limb, every patch of skin. His fingers drummed on the sheets, legs pulling up behind her. Eva pushed both hands into his hair, massaging at his scalp.

“I’ve been using you for my pleasure for so long. You’re going to do the same to me. Whatever you want, for as long as you want, as hard as you want. Understand?”

There was that hesitation again. Eva’s eyes narrowed and she reached for a last resort. Leaning over, she set her teeth against the swollen gland behind his ear, and bit down. He yelled, his hips lifting her bodily from the bed, his head thrown back.

Eva grabbed his jaw and forced him to look at her, “Okay?”

He nodded, a fast, eager thing.

She let her arms drape around his shoulders, steadying herself against the onslaught she knew was coming, “You can touch me.”

A man his size should not be able to move that fast, but Horacio had her flipped over in the blink of an eye.  He used the momentum to push her to her belly, hoisting her hips up one hand, the other catching her wrists and holding them at the small of her back. He then leaned a little weight into her shoulder until her forehead was pressed into the mattress.  

In the next second, he was pushing inside her and setting a brutal pace. He slammed into her hard, each thrust faster than the last, little involuntary sounds of aggression rumbling in his chest. His palm ran down the length of her spine, moving to hold her hips.  He yanked her towards him at that breakneck pace.

Eva felt the air rush out of her and had a hard time drawing it back in. Every time she tried to draw a deep breath, he fucked it right back out of her. Face in the sheets, she let herself fall into the rhythm, let him take out every ounce of frustration on her.

At that pace, it wasn’t long before he was giving a long groan, pulsing inside her body. His hands squeezed her wrists and hip, fingers digging in hard. As his body slowed, he seemed to come back to himself. He let go of her, pulling out and letting her fall to the her side.

The muscles of Eva’s shoulders burned with how tight he’d held her arms behind her. She had to slowly ease them forward, letting the strained limbs come back to their natural position. Eyes closed, she heard him moving, but couldn’t really be bothered to pay attention. She was tired and the sweat from her body was drying fast, leaving her shivering slightly.

Warm hands ran over her skin, eliciting more shivers. He rubbed along her wrists, pressed his thumb into the muscles beneath and around both shoulders. She let him, limbs falling wherever he left them. Seemingly satisfied, he laid near her, pushing the hair from her face and kissing her forehead.

“Eva?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you.”

[deliciouslyvaliantrebel]

Latest Government advice forces “immediate downward shift” with another footfall drop

Latest data from retail experts Springboard reveals that footfall across UK retail destinations declined by -3% last week from the week before, however, all of this decline was driven by a -6.8% drop in activity in high streets whilst in retail parks footfall rose by +1.1% and by +0.9% in shopping centres. For high streets it was definitely a week of two halves; over the three days from Sunday to Tuesday footfall only declined marginally by -0.6% from the week before. Following the government’s announcement on Tuesday evening, to ‘work from home where possible’ from Wednesday to Saturday, the decline averaged -11%. In retail parks on Wednesday and Thursday, footfall only declined by an average of -1.1% compared with -4% in shopping centres and -13.6% in high streets, and with the majority of retail parks having a large food store it suggests that an element of panic buying occurred on these two days. The closure of hospitality outlets at 10pm from Thursday had an immediate impact on activity in high streets; whilst on Wednesday footfall declined by -10.5% between 10pm and 12am, on Friday the decline over the same two hours averaged -36.4%, with a drop of -55.4% post 11pm. Footfall across all retail destinations last week remained -28% lower than last year (in the previous week it was -28.7% #DAILYNEWS #footfall #retail Read the full article