#wordsmith: back2bluesidex

[the-mazed-magic-shop]

I didn't know that the heartbreaking beginning could get anymore heartbreaking. The whole baggage-return part was so well interpreted and written! :"( It'd have been so great if we could actually return those memories...

Baggage

Pairing: Ex-Taehyung X Fem!reader

Summary: After six months of parting your ways from each other, Taehyung receives your handwritten letter. An unexpected one.

Wordcount: 1612

Theme: Exes au, Angst, Exes to (?)

Warnings: mentions of infidelity, mentions of alcohol consumption, hints of smut, broken relationship, heavy emotional weight.

A/N: Bracketed parts are Taehyung's POV and the italics are part of the letter.

Follow up drabble: Rainy Days

****************

Hey Taehyung, 

Hope this letter finds you well. You might be finding it odd that I am sending you this handwritten letter while sending you an email would have been much faster and easier. But then again, you know me. Or at least, I think you do. 

I received the courier yesterday and… that was unexpected. I know we have parted our ways but we decided on keeping the engagement rings, didn't we? So, when I opened the package, it hit me hard. And made me write this letter while two glasses of somaek are already in my stomach. 

You should have just kept the ring, it wouldn't harm anyone. You could just keep it in the box and throw it in a corner of your closet or maybe in the storeroom, I would never know. You could also throw it away in a trash can and dispose of it on a fine bright morning. You absolutely did not have to send this back to me. But you already did and things like these can't be undone. So, why don't you return my other belongings too? 

[Taehyung halts reading the letter. A frown takes over his forehead as he tries to decipher what you mean by "other belongings". When you two parted your ways or more like, when he decided to part his way from yours, you left with every single piece of shit you own. Starting from the furniture that you bought to your hair ties, you left absolutely nothing. Other than that engagement ring. He kept it for six months but then looking at it made him feel things he shouldn't. So, he sent that back to you. And now there's nothing. Nothing at all… except for the hollowness that rings in this apartment in his waking hours. Then what might your belongings be? He continues reading.] 

Why don't you return my first kiss that you stole while I was tipsy during college fest? It could have been Namjoon if you didn't meddle in between. You should also return the booze that you drank from my red cup while you could easily refill yours. Return the confession that I made that night right after you kissed me on my doorway for a second time in five hours. 

It would be different if I didn't confess to you. It would be different if you would just let me kiss Namjoon. I heard that he has started his own chain of art galleries. So aesthetic of him, just like me. We would make a perfect couple, don't you think?

[A pang of uneasiness hits Taehyung's chest. He never liked Namjoon. Back in your University days, Namjoon used to be head over heels for you, he never liked that. He wanted you all to himself, all for him. The thought of you being with someone else never sat right with him and it still doesn't. You and Namjoon being a couple! No! He still can't imagine, even after he claims to have fallen out of love with you.] 

Back to the point, if you are returning those then make sure you return the dryness of my trench coat as well. You may not remember, but when we went on our first date, it rained cats and dogs. We bought an umbrella from 7/11 since we could only afford one. We had to share it all the way to your dorm. Half of my trench coat got dumped because the heavy rain. 

I want you to take that wetness back and give me back my dryness. Can you? You can, right?

[Taehyung thinks you have lost it. What have you even been thinking at this point? Dryness of trench coat? How the fuck that makes sense?] 

Now you must be thinking why am I writing about that damned trench coat. Well, because that was my favourite one. It was white, I know you don't remember it. The beautiful snowflake white colour is now ruined because we got soaked, because I got soaked. Can you bring me back the pretty white colour that it had before? Can you take back the ugly spot that now resides on the fabric? Please take it back if you can because it reminds me of our first date, reminds me of you, reminds me of us. 

[Taehyung's breath starts to get heavy as he deciphers the weight of your words. He remembers. He remembers it all. Your first date, that white trench coat you looked so pretty in, that heavy rain, he remembers everything. How can he forget when it's one of the most beautiful memories that he cherishes.] 

Do you remember the day when I was working in the kitchen and you back-hugged me all of a sudden? I was so startled that I burnt my finger? The burnt scar is still there. Each time I see it, it reminds me of the kisses that we shared in the kitchen, the joint baking endeavours that were never once successful, the fights that we fought over choice of take-outs, and more…. More. 

[Only you can do this to him. Only you can make his heart race without even being there in front of him, without even letting him hear your voice, seeing your picture. He questions himself, where did it all go wrong, how did it all go wrong.] 

So, can you kindly return my flawless skin that I possessed before that scar happened? I want to stop thinking about the moments we shared in the kitchen. I want to stop thinking of us. 

[Taehyung's heart drops at your words and he doesn't know why. He knows well that it's him who chose to walk away, it's him who sought warmth in unfamiliar embraces. It's him who ended it all saying he fell out of love but then why does his heart twists at you saying you don't want to think of him? It's not natural, is it? He should not be impacted with anything you say but then why is it happening whatever is happening? He wonders and wanders endlessly.]

Now if I have started about the kitchen then I have to get into the bedroom as well. I want my sleep back. I want my sleep back from when I used to be sound asleep on a weekend morning and you would wake me up with your wandering hands all over my body. You would always find your ways under my tshirts and shorts. Groping, squeezing, rubbing as if your life depended on it. You used to wake me up very cruelly, Taehyung, and then you would make love all the damn day leaving me sore for the rest of the week. 

I can't sleep these days, Tae and I wish to replace it with my uninterrupted sleep from those days. Please return it as soon as possible. 

[Taehyung's eyes have turned blurry by now. But he desperately blinks away the tears. He can't cry for you, he won't cry for you. What's the point of crying anyway? The damage is done and it's not a computer program that everything will be as it was with a mere Ctrl+Z.] 

I won't ask you to return my hugs and kisses that you savoured for the first five years and ignored for the last one. You can keep those. I hope those can make you feel a bit alright when you have to deal with another cranky stakeholder. Keep those, consider it a parting gift. 

But make sure you're returning the worries that I have wasted on you when you didn't return home for the entire night. Return each piece of self respect that I lost when my calls went unanswered and text were left read. Return the efforts that I have put to keep that broken hell of a relationship somehow going when you shamelessly found a different escape each night. Return the trust that I had over love, relationship and promises and now lost because of you.

Return it all. 

But most importantly, return the part of me that I have left with you, that I have lost for you. You must return myself, Taehyung. Return all of my baggage. 

I will be waiting for your next courier eagerly. 

Previously yours,

Y/N 

[A whimper left Taehyung's throat. He can't control himself anymore. He is finally letting it all go. The pain that he thought was long gone or maybe never existed, is more than prominent now. He knows he committed a huge mistake. He knows he has hurt you beyond words but never did once you say anything. You left, just left without a single word. No matter how many arms has he been in during all these times, none could make him feel like home. He would always return to this emptiness where once you resided. He misses you but he is too adamant to accept that. He never fell out of love with you, he knows but he is scared to admit that. He was a fool to give in to the flow. He is a fool because he listened to his friends telling him it's too soon for him to get engaged, he should explore. He is a complete fool to let you go, let your existence disappear from his life. He didn't even think twice before walking on your beautifully crafted dreams and trampling those under his high-end Gucci shoes. He wishes you would fight, slap him, scream at him but you did none. 

You left being broken, left him broken. And now he has no idea how to return your baggage to you. He is lost, lost without you.]

Taglist:-

@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life

[the-mazed-magic-shop]

Taehyung, bro, I get the pain you are feeling but you fucked up big time... You should have thought about this earlier. (Also low-key wanna know how y/n would react to his letter🤧)

Rainy Days - KTH

Pairing: Ex-Taehyung X Fem!reader

Summary: All Taehyung could remember is you, on a rainy day like this.

Wordcount: 872

Theme: Exes au, Angst, a follow-up drabble for Baggage.

Warnings: mentions of infidelity, Tae suffers from guilt, he writes a reply to reader's letter. SFW.

Minors and Karens are not allowed in this blog.

A/N: This idea has been sitting on my head ever since I heard the song. So, it's here as a follow-up drabble for Baggage. and I am really sorry for this poor quality banner.

Taehyung’s phone goes off with a few rapid notifications again. 

He pauses his task of shoving a spoonful of that honey flavored cereal that you love so much and hurriedly clutches his phone. 

Again, it’s not what he expected. Again, it’s not you. 

Placing his phone upside down, he goes back to what he is doing. 

As he munches on the cereal, which he finds delicious now, he recalls how he lashed out on you once for buying this same thing over and over again. 

“Why do I have to eat what you prefer? Can’t you buy something else for me? Don’t you know I can’t bear the same shit for a long time.��� Taehyung semi-screams. 

“I called you for like four times in a row while I was grocery shopping. But you, being you, never answered once. So I chose this, since you initially liked this cereal.” You reply calmly, “and I know you can’t bear the same shit for a long time, like me.”  You whispered, but he heard it loud and clear.

Taehyung doesn’t reply anything. He obviously ignored your calls intentionally and you seem to know it. 

He sighs at the memory. 

How stupid he had been back then. How cruel he must have been to let you down so easily, to let you go as if that’s no big deal. How delusional he must have been to seek warmth in unfamiliar embraces when you were there to give your everything to him. 

Now that he reflects on his wrong doings, he realizes what he has lost. He lost a part of himself, the part that was genuinely happy. 

A lone tear escapes his eye and rolls down his cheek, he sniffles. Looking up at the glass window he finds the sky crying along with him. 

Whenever it rains, he only thinks of you. He thinks of that rainy day and your first date. You two shared an umbrella since two broke college students couldn’t afford more than one 7/11 umbrella. Both of you got soaked and your pretty white trench coat got a big ugly yellow patch. You mentioned it in your letter. That letter, damn. 

Taehyung clutches his phone again, he dials your number and watches as it goes into voicemail. Nothing new. The same thing has been happening ever since he started calling you, ever since your letter arrived. 

He opens the messaging app and types and deletes, types and deletes. He thinks about what to say, how to explain he has been so lost without you, how to apologize for being so cruel. He finds no words, no justification, no expression. Nothing. 

Then finally he decides upon something… 

Running back to his office, he grabs his notepad and a pen. He sits down by the window, in his notoriously butt-shaped chair and starts writing. 

Dear Y/N, Lately I have been thinking about you. Well, to be honest, I have been thinking about you ever since your letter arrived. I won’t say your letter woke me up and made me realize how wrong I was. Because deep down I always knew I was wrong, I was cruel but was too adamant and egoistic to come clean.  But, your letter, your words have definitely punched me hard on my gut, knocked every little bit of air I have been breathing. And I have been breathless ever since. I will not apologize over this letter. If I ever see you again, I will make sure to let you know the amount of guilt and regret that has been burdening me, through my actions. I will. I promise.  I have been calling you a lot lately, even when I don’t know what I should say. It’s good that you don't pick it up. I don’t know if you will be reading my texts or not, so I decided against it too.  Rather I decided to write this letter, so that I can at least be sure about this piece of paper reaching your address. If you still live there you will get it right away and if you don’t, you will be coming to pick up your mail and find it. You will at least see me replying to you even if you choose not to read it. I will be satisfied with that much.  Or will I?  I don’t know, really.  Because what I really want is to go back to the time I shared with you. Time with you was so amazing and I was genuinely at my happiest. That part of me hasn't changed, it’s still the same. I know it’s too late but somehow.. Can we go back to that moment again? I know, I have no right to say this, but let me make up for all the time we lost. We can start again, I will open all the doors I had closed. I promise I will treat you right this time.  I am a mess here. I can feel your touch. I remember your kiss and those hurtful words. And I miss you. I miss you like crazy, Y/N.  I want to go back to you, right into your arms, on rainy days like this.  Always yours, Taehyung.

Taglist:

@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @soraviie @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel