#word vomit dot jpeg

[pigstepmp3-moved]

Okay, but your headcanons about Buck’s parents being pretty shitty to him, can you imagine if Eddie’s family, like his abuela, met them and saw them being shitty to Buck? how do you think they’d react??

oh my god oh my god ok so like. buck very begrudgingly invites his parents out to la to meet eddie and his family bc. i mean. theyre all gonna be a fam Soon, their wedding is in like a MONTH at this point. and to say bucks nervous about it would be an understatement. he KNOWS hes gonna get dead named and misgendered a fuck ton, but at least eddie and his fam already Know so hes not gonna be outed in front of them. but, oh, when his parents get there, its like a million times worse than he thought it was going to be. he ends up having to drag his parents into the other room to tell them “hey! yall already know im a guy! ive told yall a million times so stop acting like im Not!!!” his mom says some pissy, bratty shit abt how hes still her little girl or some bullshit. and like. his dad. woof. like, some back story, his dads always been Very harsh with him. buck was always a fairly sassy little kid, he always liked to push his parents limits to see what they’d let him get away with. his mom would yell at him for being a brat, but his dad..... not very often, but every once in a while, when he’d piss his dad off, his dad would hit him. and apparently, his dad misconstrues him finally standing up for himself as him being a brat, so his dad, yknow. hits him. and it is LOUD. eddie rushes into the room to see buck staring at his parents with wide eyes and a hand holding his cheek. eddie Wants to fight, but he knows thats not gonna help the gradually panicking buck, so he just kicks his parents out and thats that. eddies fam all come into the room and they all just. give buck a big ol group hug, and if buck starts crying a little, nobody’s going to mention it. later on, eddies abuela pulls buck aside and tells him that his parents are fools for not seeing how wonderful he truly is, and she tells him that she feels truly blessed that shes going to be able to call him her grandson soon

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Ray Molina, Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Ray Molina/Rose Molina, Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Rose Molina, Ray Molina/Rose Molina Characters: Bobby Shaw | Trevor Wilson, Ray Molina, Rose Molina, Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Polyamory, Non-Graphic Nausea and Vomiting, Learning Disabilities, Undiagnosed Learning Disabilities, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fever, Self-Deprecating Bobby Shaw, Headaches & Migraines, Bobby Shaw | Trevor Wilson Has Bad Parents, Past Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Reggie Peters, Dyslexia, Asexual Bobby Shaw | Trevor Wilson, That's not like relevant but it's important Series: Part 2 of if things had been different Summary:

Sometimes Bobby feels like he’s tricking them, because he’ll remember some fact about birds Ray told him three weeks ago that Ray himself doesn’t even remember reading, or he’ll pull out trivia he learned from hearing the boys talk about music all the time, and Rose will say, “How do you know all that? You’re so smart!” And he’ll say, “I’m really not,” but she won’t believe him.

It’s not a big deal, though. Bobby has no interest in going back to school the fall after he loses his boys, so as long as he’s working a good enough job to pay rent, it doesn’t matter that he’s too stupid to read more than a few words at a time and he can’t spell to save his goddamn life and he never finished high school.

Taglist: @whenweremarried @sunsethimb0s @pink-flame @penguin0613 @fighttoshine @sunsetcurvecuddles @teenagedirtbag-dot-jpeg @brightattheorpheum @queenmolina @jandthephantoms @lexilucacia @sapphossidechick @acnhaddict @shrimp-colours @sunset-bobby @lenacarstairspotterstewart @conversationaltreestump @burntchromas @molinapattersons @julieandthequeers @joyandthephantoms @it-tastes-like-lizard @jatpfs 

[searidings]

Hey queen i just finished RTRO Ch 3 and here are my THOTS

- “Fuck, is this the kind of insight she’d get from going to therapy?” AAALEJAKFJSKF STOP THIS IS SO FUNNY it actually made me laugh out loud

- “You were [mine]” person laying in puddle of their own tears dot jpeg

- WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA KARA SAYING I LOVE YOU TO LENA W THE TRUTH INDUCER AAAAA

- “Both bearing witness to more in their lifetimes than most could even fathom. Both still standing despite it all.” HEY UH FAYE??? THIS SCENE IS DEVASTATING. Im fully not lying to you the Sequoia scene made me cry. Big fat crybaby tears about Kara hugging a tree

- YEAAAHHH LENAS GETTING THERAPY

- “Lena chuckles softly, and Kara wants to kiss her. “ - SHUT UP SHUT UP I CANT AAAAHHHH THIS IS SO CUTE

- Lena who has been through a couple months of therapy my beloved <3

- “Not for the first time today, Kara’s stomach churns thick with regret” - mmh words wow i love this one

- Im actively trying not to word vomit in your dms as im writing this cause i wanna FINISH THE CHAPTER

- AHHH KARA SHOWS UP TO LCORP AND THEY HOLD HANDS I CANT TAKE THIS. LENA GIGGLES TOO WEH

- NO WHY ARE THEY HAVING ANOTHER BREAKUP FAYE IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH

- when they kiss next chapter im actually going to explode

ellie have i mentioned yet that i owe u my life

[calamariimpossible]

Magicians on the internet, crypto, and the email that broke me.

This is a continuation of a twitter thread that Muz (@mzkrx) started to write out in his car but then when he plotted out his thoughts, it made more sense to him to put it down in a blog format rather than a thread. You'll find out why as you read through.

Stuck in the car for half an hour so I'm gonna do a thread (Editor's note: Now a whole-ass blog post) about a strange email I got recently.

So I was casually watching magic tricks on YouTube. the funnest part of which to me is reading the comments. YouTube commenters love explaining how they think the trick is done and it's fun to read through their theories and connect dots between similar tricks, etc.

And then one time as I was scrolling I noticed a comment that didn't make sense. It was a string of an almost sentence. Intelligible enough to not be random words but odd enough to read like a trigger phrase for something.

The closest I can describe it as is like the string Zemo used to wake up the Winter Soldier, but with some syntax to it. Like "many thermos wiggle throughout exotic harbinger of circle ascending fuchsia entrapment".

Initially I thought nothing of it, but then I kept seeing them in these magic trick video comment sections. They're never the same string, and it's always under magic trick videos. from different channels even.

Hmmm.

The profiles that posted these comments are also always blank accounts with zero videos and no profile pic. Just their name. I felt like it was too much of a coincidence for these comments to only be under magic trick videos.

I also knew that the world of performance magic is thick with secrets. That is to say, there is deliberate obfuscation of information whenever you try to go online to find out how a trick works.

Magicians get together online and share information with each other just like performers of every other sort as well but the amount of code and doublespeak they use is an order of magnitude more annoying to decipher compared to say, an engineering message board or a gamedev forum.

Knowing that, I thought maybe this almost parsable gibberish I keep seeing everywhere was also some kind of code these people were using to talk to each other.

So I started investigating.

First things first, let's just Google one of the phrases. Maybe that's enough?

And it sorta was.

Pasting them onto the search bar lent me to only 1 result (wild!) and it was a website that looked really dank. Like geocities dank. Annoying neon colours and badly margined jpegs of tarot card images everywhere and a big bold header text that said something to the effect of:

"Congratulations, you've found our hidden message. This portal is only for those seeking knowledge beyond what is on the surface. Continue below."

* * *

I haven't been doing well. I feel like I say that too much. I say it on Patreon, on my personal podcast, whenever any of my friends ask me how I'm doing, pretty much everywhere. I feel very heavy. I understand I'm not the only one feeling like this during a pandemic.

Duh.

But I have this other version of worry that I can't quite articulate until right now: I'm scared I won't be funny anymore. Anwar and Farid can attest that even during our recordings I don't feel up to being funny. I question my jokes a lot. I barely enjoy telling them. I'm worried I'm letting everyone down.

To me, silliness and absurdism as virtues only make sense when the world has trace amounts of injustice and wrongness that training ourselves to see it in our everyday helps us remind ourselves of what is just and fair. The more we consume silliness, the more we are able to recognize silly and point it out. So we don't ignore it when things go wrong, so we talk about it, manage it. So we can take care of each other.

Maybe I can't be sure if we're all up for taking care of each other right now.

* * *

"Continue below" seems instructive, but it wasn't. Like I mentioned, the margins were haphazard and the CSS was all over the place. Some jpegs were straight up cropped off.

Meaning I can't be sure what "below" meant. But there were clickable images and text so I was readily intrigued.

It was tantalizing. Did I stumble into some secret order of Extremely Online Magicians? Maybe I'll finally find out why there aren't many female magicians out there. Maybe it's some sort of secret initiation to a secret message board full of secrety secrets. Secretly.

Y'all.

I didn't click on any of the linked images or anything. I closed the tab. That was the end of that.

An earlier version of myself would gladly run headlong into this rabbit hole to find out more and sink hours into some goddessforsaken labyrinth of links. But the current version of me recognizes this for what it almost certainly is: an abandoned roleplaying game.

Back in the early 00s when the internet was the realm of nerds and nerds only, it was full of people who loved sharing things for sharing's sake. It used to be punk rock to maintain a blog that only talked about snails or have a lo-fi YouTube channel that uploads biweekly 3-minute news about your house, or manage a little message board where people roleplay as wizards who rummage around the net looking for clues.

That last part was a thing I remember being actively involved in. In '03, a group of online friends and I wrote up a scavenger hunt of sorts where we sent people through various blog pages that we have where the goal is to just dick around and have fun. We wasted each other's time for sure. Hundreds of hours of it for literally no gain at all but for some laughs and fun memories.

The internet isn't like that anymore. People don't share something online for sharing anymore. Not really. There's this idea that if you put stuff out there, you want people's attention because numbers are good. You get a lotta reblogs and RTs and Likes which means people Like you.

If you don't have a lotta numbers, you don't matter. If you do, everyone has to talk about what you said or did because it's 'News' now.

Isn't that kinda gross, you think? That we need people to interact through an app to be sure that we're Liked? I say "we" but I mean me. I've successfully poisoned my brain to believe this to a certain extent too and it's not good.

I felt myself physically react when I closed that geocities magician website tab. I shuddered because my brain went from "this is cool" to "I gotta let people know I found this" to "this'll get me hella RTs" to "ew Muz why did you think that" within 3 seconds and I was disgusted with myself.

As a dude who started my online presence on YouTube and parlayed it into my real life comedy/writing career, I've believed for a long time that doing good work and putting it out there is what it takes for a working creative to make it because that's what I did. So there's this idea that making stuff and having it be seen is some kind of virtuous.

But it's not anymore. People pick fights with children for clout. Newspapers post about people's tweets as if its important. People are investing in crypto, a thing that literally only exists as electrical waste on a grand scale. We're boiling the oceans to yell at each other over nothing and exchange bits of code everyone agrees has ever-rising value but doesn't. Everyone is making and eating junk, it feels like.

So am I making junk? Have I just been making useless junk for literally over a decade now? Is that what I've been good for this entire time?

* * *

So the email.

It was a response from a company I applied to for a job. I applied as a creative writer and they're an advertising agency.

Receiving emails from a prospective employer when you're in need of a job is exciting! So soon after I applied, too. Wonderful. Here's what it said:

We just received your application today but would love to extend the opportunity for you to participate in the Case Competition as a prerequisite of your job application for Creative Writer position with [REDACTED] and stand a chance to be a winner for cash awards up to a total worth of RM1,800.

Yea.

They want me to enter a competition where I compete with other candidates to get a chance of being hired.

This company saw how many people applied for a job with them, and decided to dangle some cash and throw it over the fence to see which candidate will fight for it the most.

I didn't expect to feel vomitous after reading an email but that did it. I almost dry heaved. That's where we are now.

Recruiters see a glut of applicants and decided to play Fall Guys. These people watch Istana Takeshi and think Takeshi is the good guy. It hurts. It hurt me. That email caused me pain.

I can't at all empathise with recruiters who think this was okay to do. They really believed that creative writers will do a little dance for them just for money.

Look, I know we all need to eat. But I can also hate that people undervalue the work of creatives to this painful extent.

I don't give a shit about earning a lot of dough. I just wanna make things that tickle people. I want you to smile more.

That's the whole point of that weird little YouTube comment that led to the quirky website. That's the whole idea of making silly videos and dumb tweets and memes. We just want you to laugh.

But it seems people think so little of joy that they'll do whatever they can to avoid legitimately supporting and paying for stuff that gets them through the day. So much so that they want free work from us for the potential of maybe being able to get paid for more work. It breaks me, man.

I hate that I cannot make a living just trying my best to make people happy.

That's the best way I know to take care of you.

I know I don't just 'make junk' for a living. People have messaged me personally that my work has helped them get through tough times in school, in their relationships, at the office and I am eternally grateful that they took the time to tell me that.

I just also wish my feelings about my work aren't easily brought down by the majority of people who insist its worthless. Even if sometimes those people is me.

So forgive me if I won't be funny for a while. I'm gonna need some time to process this. Thank you for reading. I love you.