#wooden pet urns for ashes

[urnsashes123]

Explore timeless elegance with our classic urns collection. Crafted from premium materials like marble, brass, and wood, each urn is a dignified tribute, perfect for honoring cherished memories at home or in memorial services.

[very-grownup]

There's some rubbish going around the bird site about adults no longer asking their friends to help them move, because adults can hire people to do that and not have to ask and expect things from their friends.

I'm the friend who always needs help, as a single person without a car in a city with rubbish public transit, and attitudes like in the original OP have made it difficult for me to not feel like I'm a burden, a friend who can only take and never give.

My friends have helped me move, they've helped me build a fence, install flooring and drywall, paint walls, build bookshelves, get my animals to vet appointments, get me to medical appointments, get my prescriptions, get groceries, get to work, get a/c in my house. They've looked after my pets when I was away, they've taken me to post offices to pick up packages, they've kept me fed.

They picked me up from the hospital in the dark of winter when I'd go straight there from my 9 to 5 to spend time with my dying mother.

One drove me to our hometown the day my mother died.

One of my mother's friends went with us to the funeral home.

Two of my mother's friends took my brother and I to look at hand carved wooden urns.

One of my friends took me to pickup my mother's ashes from the crematorium.

Which of these things would it have been Right, Independent, and Adult to do without help? Which are the ones where the action and aid provided qualify as Acceptable Friendship?

I have helped friends move to the best of my abilities, but I don't feel what I've done and am able to do is "equal" to what they've done for me.

I sometimes do a friend's dishes when she's at work or order delivery for her.

I used to bake regularly and bring tins of cookies and bars to social gatherings as a matter of course.

I check on a friend's dog who's afraid of thunder during storms if my friend's working. I cuddle the dog until the storm has passed.

I'll let kids at a party monopolize me so their parents can visit.

I've done readings at weddings, even though I hate public speaking. I was best man at a wedding, even though I hate being perceived and ended up getting heat stroke. I've helped clean up after wedding receptions.

I've helped build a friend's fence.

I've looked over rental agreements and professional letters for my friends.

I've made decisions about where we're going, what we're doing, what we're eating (which I think is bullying, but others disagree).

I make sure my less tech savvy friend has adblocks and optimize her PC as much as possible.

All of these things are so minor and often feel like nothing, sometimes just things I was going to do anyway, and not equivalent to things that are done for me, that are /needed/. Like moving.

But you're not trying to solve for zero in friendship, just add what you can on the other side.

When I posted this on birdsite, a longtime friend replied to the final bit to tell me this was her reasoning behind the socks. The socks: every year since 2019 my friend has sent me socks at Christmas. This has been one of the high points of these Christmases, a friend I've never met sending me a package of socks, because Christmas 2019 was the first Christmas after my mother's death. It was the first Christmas I spent alone, the first Christmas I didn't spend in the house I grew up in, and within two weeks of Christmas would be the first anniversary of my mother's death. I was still in a powerful, early part of grief, even if I was no longer crying daily and nightly.

Amidst all the hard "firsts" you have to experience when you lose someone important and the difficulties inherent to culturally overwhelming holidays, at some point I tweetered from a place of genuine distress "How will I get new socks? Socks come from Mum at Christmas. You don't /buy/ socks."

So my friend sent me socks for Christmas. Because I was grieving and upset and she couldn't "fix" those things. But she could make sure I had new socks.

I'm crying writing about it because the small and simple act of "send Ingrid some socks" was and is huge. It was comfort and love and practicality and having my pain being seen and recognized without diminishing it and it was something to open on Christmas day all by myself and to hold and be real and present and it's become a small new Christmas tradition in the years since.

But for her it was just "I bought some socks online and had them sent to Ingrid". When that's on my side of the friendship equation, it's momentous.

And the way it makes me feel can't be substituted with me buying myself new socks.

[donegal-pet-crematorium]

How to Personalize Your Pet’s Cremation Experience: A Guide

The loss of a cherished pet is an emotional and difficult experience, and personalizing your pet’s cremation can provide comfort during this challenging time. Personalization transforms a standard procedure into a meaningful tribute that reflects the unique bond shared with your pet. This guide will walk you through the various ways to personalize your pet’s cremation experience, ensuring it becomes a heartfelt celebration of their life.

Understanding the Cremation Process

Before delving into personalization options, it is essential to understand the cremation process. Pet cremation typically involves the following steps:

Collection and Transport: After your pet's passing, the body is carefully transported to a crematory facility.

Preparation: The body is prepared for cremation, which may include cleaning and placing it in a suitable container.

Cremation: The body is cremated in a high-temperature furnace.

Post-Cremation: The ashes are processed and returned to you in a container of your choice.

Choosing a Cremation Service

Selecting the right cremation service is crucial for ensuring a personalized experience. Look for providers that offer a range of options and are willing to accommodate special requests. Reputable services will allow you to discuss your preferences and make arrangements that align with your wishes.

Types of Cremation Services

Private Cremation: Your pet is cremated alone, and you receive only their ashes. This option provides the highest level of personalization and ensures that the ashes you receive are exclusively those of your pet.

Communal Cremation: Your pet is cremated with other animals, and the ashes are not returned to you. This option is generally less expensive but offers less personalization.

Individual Cremation: Your pet is cremated separately, and while you may share the cremation chamber with other pets, the ashes are returned to you.

Personalization Options for Your Pet’s Cremation

1. Custom Cremation Containers

Choosing a custom cremation container can add a personal touch. Options include:

Wooden Urns: Carved or engraved with your pet’s name or a special message.

Biodegradable Urns: Made from sustainable materials, ideal for those who prefer an eco-friendly option.

Keepsake Urns: Small containers designed to hold a portion of the ashes, allowing you to keep a part of your pet with you always.

2. Memorial Jewelry

Memorial jewelry offers a unique way to keep a part of your pet close to your heart. This can include:

Ashes-Infused Jewelry: Pendants or rings that contain a small portion of your pet’s ashes.

Customized Engravings: Jewelry pieces that can be engraved with your pet’s name, a special date, or a personal message.

3. Personalized Memorial Products

Several memorial products can help commemorate your pet’s life:

Photo Frames: Frames that hold a favorite photograph of your pet along with a small compartment for their ashes.

Garden Stones: Customized stones that can be placed in your garden, engraved with your pet’s name or a message.

Plaques and Markers: Decorative plaques or markers that can be placed in a special location, such as your garden or home.

4. Memorial Services and Ceremonies

Holding a memorial service can be an important part of the grieving process. Consider the following options:

Private Ceremonies: A small, intimate gathering with family and friends to honor your pet’s life.

Pet Funerals: Some cremation services offer full funeral services, including a ceremony, transportation, and more.

Celebration of Life: A more casual gathering that focuses on celebrating the happy moments shared with your pet.

5. Custom Ash Scattering

If you choose to scatter your pet’s ashes, custom ash scattering options can make this event special:

Scattering Tubes: Designed to make the scattering process easier and more respectful.

Ceremonial Scatterings: Many services offer guided ceremonies for scattering ashes in meaningful locations.

6. Memorial Art

Memorial art allows you to create a lasting tribute to your pet:

Paintings and Portraits: Custom artwork that captures the essence of your pet.

Sculptures: Custom sculptures or figurines made to resemble your pet.

Choosing the Right Personalization for Your Pet

Selecting the right way to personalize your pet’s cremation depends on various factors:

Your Pet’s Personality: Consider what made your pet unique and choose elements that reflect their personality.

Your Preferences: Select options that align with your personal tastes and the way you wish to remember your pet.

Budget: Personalization options vary in cost, so choose what fits within your budget while still honoring your pet’s memory.

Conclusion

Personalizing your pet’s cremation experience is a meaningful way to celebrate their life and create a lasting memory. From custom containers and memorial jewelry to personalized ceremonies and art, there are numerous ways to tailor the experience to reflect your unique bond with your pet. By choosing the right options, you can ensure that their memory lives on in a way that brings you comfort and peace.

[miztiw]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Wooden Funeral Cremation Box.

[keepmeclosememorials]

Website: https://www.keepmeclosememorials.com/

Address: 5656 Golf Club Rd, Howell, Michigan 48843, USA

Keep Me Close Memorials specializes in providing high-quality, affordable cremation urns and jewelry. With over 30 years of experience in the funeral industry, the company offers a variety of products to meet the needs of those seeking a dignified and cost-effective solution for memorializing loved ones. Founded by Mark and Jennifer Ferro, who have backgrounds in funeral services and elderly care, Keep Me Close Memorials is committed to serving the community with compassion and excellence.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086633133055

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[mybestiecn]

Is It a Good Idea to Buy Pet Urns Online?

The connection between people who own pets and the animals they care for is generally just as strong as any other familial connection. Most people who keep pets intend to provide the highest quality of care for their animals at all times, including when it is time for them to pass away.

Pet urns are typically made of metal, wood, or cardboard, the three most popular types of construction materials. If, on the other hand, you are seeking something that can be personalized to symbolize the bond you shared with your animal companion, you might want to consider getting a handcrafted wooden pet urn from a shop that is accessible online.

The Factors You Should Consider Before Buying Pet Urns

Check The Laws

While Local and State Laws may prohibit online urn purchases, federal laws do not. There are several online stores where you can find the appropriate cremation urn for your pet. Make sure you buy a jar online from a reliable seller. Read product descriptions carefully since some urns are only acceptable for particular cremations. If you need to return the urn, also verify the store's return policy.

Find a dealer with many urn photos and a generous return policy. If you order while emotional and change your mind in 15 days, you'll want to know you may return the product. For meaningful memorials, buying a cremation urn online is legal. Be sure to study the store and local cremation disposal laws.

Personality

Now that we know it is possible to buy a Pet Urn online, the question is, "Why would we buy an urn online?" Most likely, the funeral home or cremation provider you worked with gave you a choice of urns. Even though most of them are very lovely, the funeral home makes a lot of money. You don't have to buy the urns that the cremation expert has for sale.

By rule, the funeral home will put the ashes in a thick plastic bag and then put the bag inside a temporary box. This short-term urn could be made of plastic or cardboard. But if you don't buy one of the funeral home's expensive boxes, they will give you a way to take the ashes home.

WideRange

When you shop online for almost anything, you have more options, and cremation boxes are no different. If your loved pet likes hunting, you'll be happy to see that many urns relate to that sport, like camo urns or wood urns with a deer scene carved on them. You can find cremation boxes for pets in every color and with designs like flowers, butterflies, and rainbows. A simple Urns for Ashes for Cats can be bought for a few hundred dollars, but more complex ones made to order can cost thousands. You can reduce your choices if you know how much money you have.

Check The Urn Size

It's also essential to think about the urn's size. The urns come in a wide range of sizes, from small keepsake urns to more enormous urns that can hold an adult's ashes. Make sure to measure the box you are thinking about and compare it to the size of the cremated remains of the person who died. You should buy a bigger pot if the pot needs to be more significant.

Generally, it would help if you bought an urn with the exact cubic inches of your Pet body weight before burning. You want to avoid putting some ashes in another container, where they might get lost or go wrong. Ensure the box you buy is big enough to hold the lost person.

Check The Material

Another essential aspect to consider is the Pet Cremation Urns material. Metal, marble, wood, ceramic, and stained glass are the five materials utilized most frequently in the production of cremation urns.

Because each material has its distinctive appearance and texture, selecting an option that most accurately reflects the character and taste of the person you are shopping for is essential. It is also crucial to consider how long the material will last; some materials, such as bronze and brass, are more long-lasting than others.

Conclusion

Lastly, think about how the urn looks. Many online stores sell urns in classic, modern, custom-made, and personalized styles. If you want a unique Pet Urns for Ashes, consider having an artist make one for your loved one. This will ensure that the urn is a one-of-a-kind item that honors your Pet life.

In the end, it is possible to buy a box of ashes online. But it's essential to consider price, size, material, and design, among other things, to make sure you choose the urn that best honors your loved one. After considering all the above items, you can make an informed choice and buy the urn that best meets your needs.

[farewellfuneralsau]

Personalised Cremations Services in the Gold Coast

In recent years, people have started to personalise their funeral services. They are focusing on aspects that reflect the deceased and honour their life, loves, interests and beliefs.

Some of the most common ways to personalise a funeral service include music choices, vehicle options and personalised coffins. We'll help you plan a service that will be truly meaningful to the person who died. To know more about Personalised Cremations Services in the Gold Coast, visit the Farewell Funerals website or call 0404660974.

Coffins are one of the most recognisable ways to encapsulate the body. They are made of materials like wood, cardboard and metal.

The shape of a coffin is tapered at the head and feet to match the body’s shape. This makes it easier for the family to transport the deceased to the crematorium or cemetery.

There are several different types of caskets available, but the two most common are traditional steel and wicker. The former is used in natural burials, while the latter is usually used for cremation.

Many funeral homes also offer personalised image-wrapped coffins. These are designed by designers and use pre-printed wraps to cover a regular wooden coffin with high-resolution images or designs.

Cremation urns are a great way to keep or display the ashes of your loved one. There are a wide variety of types and styles to choose from, including glass, metal, stone, ceramic, and more.

Depending on the purpose, you may want to consider a traditional urn, a decorative container with a lid, or something with a unique design that will commemorate your loved one’s life. You can also get urns with biodegradable materials that will eventually disintegrate and break down into natural resources.

Small keepsake urns are often designed for infant and child remains. These urns can hold between 5 and 20 cubic inches of ashes.

Keepsakes are items that are purchased or crafted to remind the person who has passed on of their life. They can include anything from a lock of hair to jewelry or a piece of artwork.

Often, keepsakes are given to grieving families as a way of honoring the loved one who has died. These gifts can range from expensive to inexpensive and are typically a reflection of the person’s personality or interests.

Cremation services offer a wide variety of keepsakes that can help you remember the loved one who has passed on. These can range from a cremation urn to beautiful cremation jewelry.

Music is an integral part of any funeral service. It can be used to set the tone, highlight a special moment or elicit a sigh of relief from a grieving loved one.

Using the right music to highlight a special moment can be as simple as playing a cheesy song from the radio or selecting a tune that evokes a particular memory of your loved one. Music can also be used to showcase a video, slideshow or other interactive media that can help bring your loved one to life. It is often a good idea to choose music with the input of your service provider so they can offer guidance and recommendations. They will also know the most suitable musical genres to match your loved ones preferred tastes.

Personalised cremations services in the Gold Coast often use vehicles to transport the deceased. These include trucks that allow for the removal of ashes and casket furniture to a permanent place of burial, such as a cemetery or a family’s own private estate. Vehicles can also be used to carry the deceased’s pet remains. This can be a great option for families who want to take their pets with them to a new home or simply prefer to do so rather than bury them.

[bathandicraftshouseblr]

Excited to share the latest addition to my #etsy shop: Full Hand-Carved Turn Wood Cremation Urns | Handmade Wooden Urn for Human Ashes – Threaded Lid Funeral Urns for Ashes or Pet Ashes Container #black #petloss #woodcremationurns #cremationurns #woodenurn #urnforhuman #urnforhumanashes #funeralurns #urnsforashes https://etsy.me/3INuQsm (at USA) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpCK-O_v-xh/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[alutoclave]

Most of the people generally are not aware of the basics

Needless to mention, but these days cremation is considered to be one of the best ways of final disposition of a deceased. Well, it’s getting popular because of its own share of advantages. In light to this popularity, lots and lots of companies are coming up with interesting and creative ranges of cremation Urns For Ashes For Adults, kids and pets along with jewelries of different types.Quite obviously, buying cremation urns is not Class B Tabletop Dental Autoclaves something that you do on daily basis or maybe it’s the first time you are going to purchase the same. Therefore, reliable and customer-friendly online companies are trying to make things easy and hassle free for their customers. As there are a number of strings attached and many sentiments associated with a funeral urn, it is very important to take care of it properly. Most of the people generally are not aware of the basics of taking care of an urn. In fact, it’s not that hard actually. However, all urns are made different, so are their requirements. So, you need to clean and maintain urns accordingly.

Wooden urns are easy to take care of. All you need to do is wipe them from time to me with a soft and dry cloth. You can also get them polished once in 3 to 4 months in order to maintain the natural shine. You should refrain from applying harsh chemicals or water to wipe the outer surface of a wooden urn. It’s always good not to keep a wooden product in direct sunlight.Urns made up of stones, marbles or glasses are also low-maintenance products. You can use water or water-based cleaners to keep them clean and dust-free. It is highly recommended to use a chemical-free clear. Acid-based cleaning liquids can damage the products. Also, such products are highly fragile. So make sure to keep them in a secured place.Unlike the types of urns discussed above, metal urns like Brass Cremation Urns, etc need extra care. You should never ever wipe a metal product using a damp cloth. Any kind of moisture can lead to corrosion or rust formation. Always make use of soft and dry cotton fabrics to wipe off metal cremation containers.

So, these are some of the basis tips that you need to keep on your mind when it comes to taking care of a cremation urn. A few words of remainder Dear reader, a cremation container is not just purchased and kept at home just for the sake of rituals, but its way beyond that. It’s that thing that bridges the gap between you and your deceased loved one. Therefore, no matter which type of urn you purchase, make sure to take proper care of it if you really want to preserve the cremated remains and memories of your loved one at your home. Otherwise, there are many other final disposition methods available out there and you are free to choose them.

[qancipetmemorialprayerhome]

[urns-uk]

Memories last a lifetime! This makes goodbyes hard. Whether it is about memorialising a human or a pet, both of them leaves their mark on our hearts. Commemorating a human is really common these days but when a beloved pet companion dies, it becomes very difficult for us to transition in daily life. Without them, our life starts to become hollow. This is the reason that it becomes really important to hold a memorial service for them. After the memorial ceremony, you would need pet cremation urns for cats and dogs. These would not just act as a container that is holding the ashes inside themselves but will also aid you in remembering the good times that you and the pet have shared together.

[memorials4u]

Urns for children’s ashes are almost similar in concept to the cremation urns for adults, but smaller. These urns are used to contain the cremains of the babies and children and often the size depends on the physical size of the child whose ash is being preserved. As a general rule, while choosing memorial urns for a child, one pound of body weight of a child will require 1 cubic inch of place inside the urn. If you want to stick to the tradition of burying the last remains of your child, you need to look for a wooden box for ashes. However, at a store like Memorials4U, you do not merely get plain boxes, but intricately carved ones. These urns for ashes for adults and children are biodegradable and easily get back to nature upon burial.

[saiqianxi-blog]

The 3 Best Mahogany Woods for Pet Urns in 2021

[miztiw]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Wooden Funeral Cremation Box.

[albino-whumpee]

The reason

Whumptober Day 6 - Proof of Life “I've got a pulse”

Idk if it´s ok to post this when I haven´t even posted the other important stuff, but honestly, this year´s prompt was too good and the chapter was almost finished anyways, so here you go. Have a big dose of angst. 

CW// Big warning for explicit suicide attempt, suicidal whumpee, blood, overdose, self loathing, past pet whump, ghosts, grief, guilt, death, implied murder, victim self blaming, emotional whump, angst. 

Life seemed to pass in front of his eyes without him actually being part of it. Not ever since they went to his house and read that man´s letter. Not ever, since they went to the lake where the crushed tent still stood and he screamed his throat raw.

Ever since he came out of that box, life progressively had lost its meaning.

The albino boy was at Sarahi´s house now, sitting on the ground crossed leg staring at the ashes on the fireplace. No cat roaming the pristine living room to make him company existed any longer. Momo rested above the fireplace in a wooden urn. A silver plaque with the cat’s name adorning it on top. Annie hadn’t had such luxuries.

Aware of the silence, his hand went under his shirt. Thin fingers hovered under the black, long sleeved shirt that became like a second skin. He passed his hand right over his abdomen, where he was forced to carve his own name. Not the name of the role he thought he played for his owner, but his real name. The one he had quit, and later, fiercely wished to get back not knowing he already had.

Now that he remembered it, he didn't know what to do with it.

His fingertips wandered around the edges of the scarred skin, tracing each of the letters before he stuck out his hand with a sigh.

Whoever Albus Serra Muller was, he was no longer part of this world. 

A pet had come to take his place. 

And that pet was sick of it.

The box boy watched the ashes for a little longer. Molding a pinch of it between his fingers and watching it stain them, remembering the satisfaction of seeing the books with his drawings thrown into the fire, despite the shocked faces of everyone around him. 

A sting of shame attacked him when he remembered it had been Sann who gave him those with a last spark of hope on his face. Sann refused to give up on him and yet... and yet, he had thrown them into the fire in front of him. 

He was sorry, but at the same time, he didn't regret burning them. He wouldn't need them anymore anyways. His resolve to continue had been turned to ashes over and over again, he was just so tired of burning.

“You said you had enough,” Albus whispered, remembering the weight, the cold tip of the revolver against his forehead “one on you, the next on me... but you put it down before it was my turn again...” he said through gritted teeth while a venomous fury lit his stomach on fire. He shoved it down; tasting the impulse to scratch himself bloody right there and then, so strong his hands slammed against his arm.

But before he could dig his nails in, he remembered Sann’s smiling face. How tightly he hugged him at the lake until he had no voice to scream and his eyes dried. How, in his anger, he had tried to push Sann away by throwing despicable words at him…. only to watch him sit down with him.

Tears rolled down his cheeks when he remembered Sann had told him with that new, husky voice of his, he would not give up on him. Not because he owed him. Because he loved him. Because he deserved a life that wasn´t filled with pain and orders. Because he wanted to live that life Albus had given him, with Albus.

“Damn it” He sniffed, furiously wiping off the tears on his face, before dragging air.

His chest tightened suddenly, as a broken sob broke the silence. He pulled his knees to his chest and chattering his teeth from the strain of trying to keep himself quiet. 

Everything he had tried to keep buried resurfaced and stared back, like waiting for him to do something about things he just couldn't change anymore. Getting dragged by a whirlpool of endless darkness, he had long drowned in.

Overwhelmed, he gasped for air and immediately, having barely anything to grab, he pulled on his hair.

After a moment, he let out a giggle under his breath. What an irony it was, that the only thing he could control about himself was how much he cut off. Be it memories, hair or skin. At least, he had managed to stop anyone from pulling him by the hair again. With a victorious grin, he let his arms fall down.

For a long moment he stayed quiet, curled into himself, crying his eyes out until his head felt like bursting. His brain struggled to keep away the painful memories of Annie and the facility. Pushing the memories of her at the lake screaming his name in terror, in a plead that fell into deaf, useless ears; the memories of the handlers putting him under the drip to forget her, memories from when he had escaped the facility and brought the tragedy that lead Sann to be Sirius replacement and took all of Santiago’s dreams. That forced Sarahi to buy him.

Resurging with that blinding pain, the memory of the albino woman leaving at night, hurriedly walking off to the street with a simple black backpack before looking up and mouthing she would come back for them appeared on his head. As if to remind him that if he had stopped her then, she would still be alive. Maybe things would’ve been different then.

He tightened his grip on his hair, the skin under beginning to throb. 

He pushed all those memories and truths away. 

Did he have the right to be crying like that? He had done nothing for others but bringing them pain. It was almost as if he couldn´t stop people from getting hurt regardless of what choice he made. 

The boy then continued to cry inconsolably.

At some point, snot rolled over his lip and he wiped it away with his shirt, just like he had done with his bile in the disobedience cells after sucking a handler off for the who-knows-which time. He remembered wiping the grime off his face just like that time when the boy on the other cell gave him back the food he had handed him seconds before.

He gave it back, but he only left the scraps. Albus thought to himself, unable to put a smile on his face. Everyone else just ate it without a second thought...But, he didn´t...What was his number..? Albus racked his brain for a moment and as he realized, his eyes slowly widened.

In the middle of the darkness, after a moment of his realization, associating the story the other boy told him about what had happened an eternity ago, he laughed. His whole body shook with him as the tears began to roll down indiscriminately.

“Ah, so that’s how we met...” he said, voice cracking with each word “I remember now...That’s how...your voice sounded....”

The words caught on his throat couldn’t be forced out anymore. At that very moment, something switched off inside of him. In that last gasp for breath, as his face went blank and his eyes unfocused, he waited a second before he rose to his feet and walked to the kitchen. Static thrummed in his ears as he grabbed everything inside the drawer containing all of Claude’s medication.

Albus was going to grab the glass next to the sink, when he saw the knife.

He stared at it for a while, considering leaving it there, but in the end, he took it too, before stepping into the living room’s bathroom. Switching the light on and silently closing the door behind him. Head heavy, but looking completely unbothered, he opened the tap all the way and heard the water run for a moment before pulling his eyes up. As he stared at his reflection in the mirror, he downed the first bottle.

He didn’t scream when by his third, he pushed his shirt up and ruined the “A” marked on his abdomen with the knife, before moving to the next letter. Not caring about the blood spilling into the floor or the pain of scratching the letters scarring his skin. 

He was too tired to care anymore.

Completely swallowed by despair, he didn’t notice he hadn’t closed the door right. A ray of light illuminated the hallway towards the rooms, and the sound of the empty pill cases hitting the floor when he threw them, slowly forced Sann’s eyes open.

—

In the middle of the night, Sann’s eyelids fluttered at the sound of water flowing. It took him a moment in his drowsy state to realize it wasn’t raining. Instinctively, his hands searched for his partner’s warmth in their bed. Finding his spot going cold next to him forced his head up. Sann blinked confused at the empty spot and turned his head towards the bathroom door.

There was no light under the door frame, but the sound of water didn’t stop. 

Sann frowned and groaned as he pushed himself up into his elbows, rubbing his eyes before looking around the empty room again, noticing the light coming from the hallway.

He waited a second, hoping he had just woken up from a nightmare and he would be back soon, but the water wouldn’t stop. In his half asleep state, he took his phone, ignoring the messages from his mother and Robin and focused on the hour marked on the clock. Too early... Sann thought to himself, sighing on his pillow before he rolled to his side.

“Al?” Sann asked, swinging his feet over the bed and stepping into the hallway, the phone still in his hand as he yawned, following the source of the light and frowning when he noticed it was coming from the bathroom. Albus never used any other bathrooms but his own. He went to open it with a bad feeling pulling a knot on his stomach “Albus?”

The water from the sink was still running when Sann dropped his phone on the floor and stopped knowing how to breathe for a solid minute. Standing stunned on the room’s door frame, only to find the mess of pill cartridges and blood that was on the floor around a bloodied Albus. 

Too shocked to move, he saw the boy look up at him with teary eyes. 

“He told me to swallow” 

“W-What?” Sann croaked out, the rest of his body unable to move. 

“Back then at the disobedience cells. He told me to swallow,” he retold with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes “He would be proud now...” his arms pointed at the floor vaguely “I swallowed so much I won't have to do it ever again” Albus smiled as Sann gave him an horrified look. “I’m...free”

Sann’s chest tightened up in pressure that knocked the air out of his lungs when he dropped to his knees next to Albus. Watching the blood on his shirt, on his abdomen, dripping onto the floor, right next to the kitchen knife on his left hand. Shaking his head, he uncovered his abdomen only to see the web of welts made by the knife.

“No, no...” Sann whispered under his breath, seeing the wound and then fishing out one of the empty flasks. Recognizing them as Cloude’s strongest sleep medication “No, no, no, Albus, no!” He threw the case away to cup the boy’s face, unable to hold down a whine under Sann’s bruising hold. “T-tell me you didn’t s-swallow them all,” the albino tried to turn his head away but Sann forced him to look back at him “Albus! Tell me how many you swallowed!” He shouted in desperation, making the other flinch. ��P-ple-ase answer me, how m-many?”

It took him a long excruciating moment to reply, voice barely above a whisper “...All of them”

Sann’s stomach flipped as his jaw dropped. Letting go, his face began to twist into pained misunderstanding, but it stopped halfway. Dropped to turn into agony as he tilted his head to his left, tears welling on his eyes before letting out a broken, ragged sob instead of the scream that wanted to push through his barely recovered throat.

“I’m sorry...” Sann sobbed, face going a bright red as he pulled Albus into a hug so tight Albus whimpered “I’m sorry, I´m so sorry, Al”

“Don´t...” Albus replied pulling Sann´s head up to face him, red staining Sann´s cheek and jaw, right over the scar from Robert´s knife. “Don´t. That´s not it” he smiled before planting a kiss on his forehead “It´s me who should apologize” Albus´ voice cracked, tears beginning to well up on his eyes “I know I can´t…I can´t apologize in a way that matters. This is the only way to make it up to you” Albus grabbed Sann´s hands into his own and gave it a kiss “You deserve a better life” he panted as the tears streamed down “I can´t let myself ruin it again” 

Sann kept staring at him in shock. But then his eyes, rimmed red from crying, suddenly narrowed, an emotion on them Albus had rarely seen in Sann.

“I´m not gonna let you die” Sann said, almost growling.

Albus froze before he followed Sann´s hands reaching for towels “Don´t...” he weakly begged before Sann pressed them tight against his stomach, reaping a yelp out of him “Sann! No, Please!” 

It was as if the boy couldn't hear him when he took the knife and threw it away, the sound of it falling into the floor piercing through the silence in what was supposed to be just another night before the boy passed his arms under Albus and lifted him up in one go. Readjusting his grip and making him wince before Sann dashed through the hallway screaming at Claude for help. 

“N-No..!” Albus cried in the boy's arms, weakly pushing against his chest in an attempt to break free. But the pills were beginning to work and the world began to darken around the edges. “Stop..!” He mumbled, feeling another set of hands on him forcing his feeble, thin arms away from his stomach, before hearing a woman scream. “Nononono, ssstop!” he slurred as he was hurriedly carried outside to Sann´s reworked van. 

He could barely understand what Sann screamed at Sarahi and Claude, both in their pajamas, but when Sarahi and him locked eyes, he tried to convey to her to please stop Sann in a look alone. He knew how horror looked on his ex-owner´s face, so he was shocked into silence when he saw her slam the door open and get inside the car to hold him. 

He couldn´t understand what she said, his vision swimming as the car began to move. He didn´t understand why she, who hated dirty things, who hated him the most, didn´t do anything when he vomited on her feet. Why she wiped the bile off and carded her fingers through his hair with such a pained expression. 

Albus tried to push her hand away, then. 

“Why don´t you hate me?!” he wanted to scream, and he did try, but she seemed to not understand a word. “Why won´t you let me die?” he cried, digging his palms into his eyes. “Stop the car!” he screamed as he hurled into the front seats, feeling strong hands pull him back intot he seat. He couldn´t really feel his fingers anymore but he fought against the person holding him down as hard as he could “Can´t you see? Don´t you know there´s no place for me in this god forsaken world?!” he shouted at the person pushing him down into the seat. Crying out when they pressed their knee against his stomach. 

Albus´ world became a mix of shadows and flickering lights. He felt light suddenly, as if he had been hauled up and then his head began to spin wildly. He couldn´t see, but he felt hands over hands holding him down. 

“S-Stop!! I´m a murderer!!! Why save me?!” he tried to swat the hands away, but quick enough, his wrists were held in an iron grip. So, he tried to kick everyone away. Satisfaction filling him for an instant when his feet landed on someone's face before his feet  were restrained, too. He laughed grimly, then. No, he was panting, struggling to drag air in. The world blurred as he shook his head from side to side. “I…-n´t wanna…save…no…” his consciousness was slipping. He could hear screams. Was it Sann? He couldn´t tell. “...lease…please…” he begged as he felt something being put over his face.

A warmth overcame him suddenly. The world was a void of white, blinding light when he looked up. His eyelids were too heavy to keep open anymore. So he begged. His voice became impossible to decipher even for him as the seconds ticked by. 

“If this is not suffering enough, I-,” he couldn't tell if he had his eyes open or not. “I don't know how else to atone” he said, curling into himself. 

He cried so harshly, he screamed until he had no voice, he didn´t open his eyes. He didn´t wanna see the world around him was slowly flooded with the sea. 

“Oh, Albus” an albino woman knelt next to him, pulling him into a hug. “You have suffered too much, for too long” she told him, carding her fingers through his hair as he hugged her back. “It was hard, wasn´t it?” she saw him nod against her chest “You did your best and still, it came down to this. I´m very sorry, son. I´m sorry you had to grow too fast because of me. I´m sorry I left you behind,” she apologized. The boy stayed quiet. “Lemme take a look at you, Albie” she said putting her fingers under his chin before lifting it. 

“Can I go with you now, mom?” he cried. 

It wasn´t the first time he saw that beach at sunset. That time too, all those years ago, he saw his mother before waking up to the start of his nightmare. He held tight to her. 

“I can´t go back anymore” he told her, hiding his face in the crook of her neck. He pressed into the hug even tighter. “I hurt so many people…They wouldn´t want me back, anyway. So please, mom. Please…” the albino sobbed against her chest when she passed her hand through his hair. 

“You didn´t know what would happen, Al” another voice said next to him. His eyes shook as they landed on the young girl kneeling next to his mother. 

“Annie…” 

The girl smiled. “Stupid brother, you thought you were my personal bodyguard” she huffed, making him mute. How much he missed her. “You are four feet tall, who´re you gonna scare? The ants?” she sighed loud and long “How much did you miss because of me?”

“Annie…!” the boy jumped to hug her. He held her so tight, tears streamed down explosively. “I- I want- I-I-I promised you, and yet I! Annie, I´m- I´m so, so sorry. I´m sorry…I´m so sorry!” he cried as snot ran down his face. He kept mumbling apologies until he was pushed away. 

“I get it, ok? It´s ok. It was really, really hard. I´m sorry I wasn´t there to protect you” she said, hugging him back. His eyes widened before closing shut again, pulling his arms around her small figure. “I´m sorry too, Albus.” the boy emerged from her chest with a confused look “Mom and I can´t let you come yet”

“What-?”

She pressed a finger over his lips. “Let me finish, stupid brother” 

Albus smacked his lips closed before wiping the snot and tears off. Annie stared at him for a long moment before getting a serious look. She was merely a kid…

“Al,” she called suddenly, catching his attention. “That day, you saved a life. I won´t ever feel anything more than pride for you for that” he wanted to tell her to explain what the hell was she talking about. The two people he should have done everything to save were right there, cold, dead. And he should join them, so what was she..? “That Christmas, you saved someone else. Me? You saved me more than once. If you hadn´t taken most of dad´s beatings, if you didn´t blame yourself for me, if you hadn´t eaten that poisoned food…”

“That was..!”

“Al,” she cut him off before breaking into a smile “I would´ve died much, much earlier if it wasn´t for you. You saved us. Even if you were hurting, you pushed through. For us” she said setting a cold hand on his shoulder. 

“But you…”

She shook her head. “I won´t ever blame you for what happened. You don´t have to bear that pain anymore, ok? You´re not alone anymore, either” Albus frowned at her, before she sighed through her nose. She clicked her tongue behind him, making him turn around. 

“ALBUS!! WAKE UP! PLEASE!” he heard Sann scream from above the stretcher his body was on. “You can´t do this to me, you can´t. Please..!” he begged as he continued doing CPR even when doctors tried to pull him down. 

Albus´ head turned towards the monitor next to him and a shudder went down his back as he saw the flatline. 

“DON´T YOU DARE DIE ON ME, ALBUS!!” Sann continued to scream, “SOMEBODY! ANYBODY, HELP! HELP HIM, PLEASE!!” Sann howled as he punched his torax, making his body jerk back. He gave him some more compressions before he bent down to blow air into him. Albus watched his own scarred chest bloat before Sann continued giving him CPR. “Wake up, wake up, wake up. Please, Al” Sann whispered, his voice worn to a hoarse croak. Tears spilled over his cheeks into the corpse below him. Stopping his compressions for a second, he cupped his face and kissed him harshly. “I can´t lose you again…” he cried in a shaky voice. 

Albus´ hand tried to wipe the tears streaming down his face, but he could only watch him wipe them off before restarting his efforts, nurses looking at him with pity as he screamed for help and nobody came. 

“See?” Annie said, holding his hand. 

“You do have someone who wants you back” his mother said, taking his other hand. 

Albus stayed quiet for a long moment, eyes refusing to leave Sann as he was forced down the stretcher and he kicked and pushed to climb on it again. Not even a bloody cough stopped him. 

“...After everything I did…I caused him so much pain, I can´t just-” he stepped back, but the two women held him strong. 

“He told you already, didn´t he?” His mother told him as he watched his corpse curl into himself in a gasp. 

“W-WE HAVE A PULSE!” one of the doctors screamed in clear astonishment. 

The monitor began beeping again as doctors and nurses, stunned for a moment, began to swarm his body. Pushing Sann to the side before he made way to stand by his head, ripping the segufix around one of his wrists and frantically kissing his hand before squeezing it tight, refusing to leave his side. 

“He won´t give up on you” Annie finished her mother´s phrase before both pushed Albus towards the stretcher. He could only take a quick look back at them having big smiles on their faces. His vision swam as he tried to stretch his hand towards them. “He searched for you, not to see you kill yourself for him. He searched because he wanted to live that life you gave him, with you. So don´t give up on this life so easily, ok?” were the last words he heard before the world became pitch black.

----

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