#wood family

[milktarte]

324 Hillburly Lane, Grims Quarry, Evergreen Harbour

[mimidrawzzz]

Wood Family Cleaning Day

CHAAT I think I might be in love with the pencil brush 👁️ 👁️

[tamtam-go92]

Wednesday

Wednesday would be Birnam's birthday and Cord came home that day with great news. He was promoted to Junior Officer!

Birnam brought a friend home from school, but before he spend some time with Penelope, he had an important call to do.

Birnam: Is Holly available? Here's her little brother. There was a crackling in the line and some seconds later Birnam heard his elder sister say his name. Birnam: Holly! Finally I found you! You know that it's my birthday today. And it's my only wish, that you'll be there. Holly: B, you know Dad would never allow that. Birnam: It's my only wish. I'm sure Dad will allow it! I'll also talk to Mom if you want me to. Holly: *sigh* Okay: But just for your birthday...

Said and done, Birnam hurried to his mother and told her, Holly would come over for his birthday. Cherry was shocked but also excited. She hadn't see her daughter in days. When she saw her on the front porch, she headed her off.

Cherry: Holly, my dear, I'm so glad to see you. How is the community center? Holly: I'm only here for Birnam's birthday Mom. I know you don't agree with Dad, but you also don't disagree with him, so you're just as guilty as he is. Cherry: Is that what Ms Voyante tells you? Holly: I have a mind of my own, Mom. Cherry *sigh*: Okay hun, but just look that you don't get under your father's eye.

But it was already too late, the second Cherry finished that sentence, the door opened and Cord entered the hallway.

Cord: Holly! What the heck are YOU doing here? Holly: It's my little brother's birthday, Sargent. He invited my for his party. Cord *grumble*: I'll allow you in my house for this one evening, because it's Birnam's birthday. But I want you out by 9 PM and don't try anything funky, young Lady. Holly: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can I see B now?

Holly really hated the person that was meant to be her father. She hated being in this house. She hated that her mother went to the living room and opened another bottle of whine to drown her sorrow in alcohol. She was only there for Birnam. And she was glad that Ash was at work...

Holly watched Birnam and Penelope play for a while until it was time to blow out the candles.

Birnam grew up well and became a Pleasure Sim. In fact he's influenced more by his elder sister than his father would like as he likes Sims with a bit of a rebellious background and those that know how to work with their hands. He doesn't like beards but he does like boys - girls and boys in fact. He also grows up to be quite the Party Animal. Let's see how Cord would react to this...

The birthday boy spends a pleasant evening with Penelope and Holly until his father thinks it's time for everyone to get lost.

Cord: Okay, that was enough for one day. Birnam was happy, but now get away from my land. Holly: You'll regret this Sargent. You'll lose everyone around you, one day. Just you wait!

Cord just frowned at Holly's curses. He would never lose anybody. He had Cherry and Cherry would always be there. And where Cherry was, the kids were. It was just that simple...

[hinashideout]

I always try to make sure I have the parent sims teach the toddler stuff instead of just giving them an ipad and calling it a day

[cloakedsparrow]

Dick: Okay, I think we’re gonna have to do ‘Good Cop, Bad Cop’.

Jason: Yeah. It’s tropey but it works.

Dick: Exactly. Wanna flip for Bad Cop?

Jason: You’re kidding.

Dick: Or we could play Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock?

Jason: Dude, I can’t be Good Cop. I kill people, remember? You can’t kill people and be Good Cop.

Dick: Those were traffickers and mob lieutenants. These are Rogue goons.

Jason: What, like that matters?

Dick: Yes, that matters. They don’t care that you took out some mobsters. They care that you revived the Joker after beating him to death and then let him go.

Jason: I didn’t revive him, I just didn’t let him die yet! And I didn’t let him go either! That was Batman! I was gonna kill the psycho!

Dick: Yeah, well, you still kept him alive and the goons probably know it. Just like they know I was happy to leave him dead when I killed him.

Jason: What?

Dick: You heard me.

Jason: You…?

Dick: Killed the Joker? Yes. I thought he killed Timmy and then when I confronted him, he said your name and…I didn’t stop hitting him until he choked on his own blood.

Jason: Then…how is he still alive?

Dick: Batman revived him.

Jason Fucking what?

Dick: Yeah.

Jason: Well, now I definitely can’t be Good Cop. I’m way to pissed for that shit.

Dick: Well, so am I.

Jason: Fuck.

Dick: Fuck.

Jason: So now whadda we do? Try to beat it outta him?

Dick: No, he'll lock down. That's why I suggested "Good Cop, Bad Cop" to begin with.

Jason: So we need a Good Cop.

Dick: Okay, I’m gonna call Timmy and see if he can come play Good Cop.

Jason: Good plan.

Dick [talking into a secure (& Batman-proof) phone]: Hey, Robin, you busy?

Tim [on speakerphone]: Kinda, yeah. What’s going on? You sound weird.

Dick: Hood and I need to get some intel from a goon, and we’re thinking “Good Cop, Bad Cop” is the way to go but neither of us can pull off Good Cop right now.

Tim: Shit. I’m in Bangkok right now-

Jason: The fuck are you doing in Bangkok?

Tim: Speedy needed help with a thing.

Dick: In Bangkok?

Tim: No. She’s in Korea.

Jason: So, again, why the fuck are you in Bangkok?

Tim: Because Lady Shiva’s here and she’s perfect for what Speedy needs, so I’m calling in a favor she owes me.

Dick: You’re calling in a favor from Lady Shiva because Speedy needs help with a thing in Korea.

Tim: Yep. You got it.

Dick: No, that’s- You say that like it doesn’t require any further-

Tim: Can you hang on for a second? There’s an assassin tailing me.

Dick: Shit. Do you need us to send someone out there?

Jason; Starfire should be done with her thing by now. She's not on your shit list, right?

Tim: No, I like Kori. But I’m good now. My assassin got the other assassin.

Dick: You have an assassin?

Tim: Kinda? She defected from the League of Assassins and is up for hire but she always gives me priority since she feels like she owes me a life-debt.

Dick: Again, you sound like you think that statement doesn’t require any further explanation.

Jason: So you hired your assassin buddy to kill the other assassin?

Tim: What? No. Of course not. She didn’t kill him. We’ll question him later. She never kills on my jobs since she knows I don’t like it.

Dick: What about other jobs?

Tim: That’s her business. We aren’t all control freaks, you know.

Dick: That’s-

Jason: That’s good, Little Red. Good that you have healthy boundaries.

Dick: I have healthy boundaries.

Jason: Sure you do.

Tim: Okay, you’re gonna have to argue that on your own. I’m supposed to help my friends out with something after I get Shiva to help Speedy, but I have to handle this interrogation first. So how about I just send my friends the twenty-five plans I drew up and ask Bunker if he minds helping you out before he joins us? He should be able to get inside Gotham in less than ten minutes.

Jason: Oh, Bunker’s perfect for Good Cop.

Tim: Right? They’ll spill everything and probably give him their grandma’s secret family recipes on top of it.

Dick: Wait. Back it up. You have twenty-five plans drawn up? What are you guys up against?

Tim: Nothing we can’t handle. Young Justice figures, why even bother with a plan B if you aren’t gonna cover the whole alphabet?

Jason: There’s twenty-six letters in the alphabet, Little Red.

Tim: Yeah, but plan Z is always the same, so we don’t bother listing it anymore.

Dick: Is it ‘get an adult’?

Tim: Of course not.

Jason: When you were a Teen Titan, how often did you call in an adult when you probably should have?

Dick: Okay, that’s fair.

Jason: So what’s plan Z?

Tim: ‘Fuck it, we ball’.

Dick: That’s not a pl-

Jason: That’s perfect. I love it.

Dick: No. Don’t encourage him.

Tim: Thanks, Red. So do you want me to ask Bunker about helping you? I’m kinda on a time crunch now.

Jason: Yes, please.

Tim: Okay. He’s on the way. Is there anything else?

Dick: Whe-

Jason: No, we’re good. Have fun storming the castle!

Tim: ‘Kay, bye!

Jason: Bye!

Dick: The fuck-

Jason: Bunker and I can handle the interrogation here and Timmy and his assassin friend are gonna be busy with an interrogation there for a bit. If you take off now, you can probably catch up with him and go all big brother like you’re dying to.

Dick: You sure?

Jason: Yeah, I’m sure me and Bunker can handle this asshole.

Dick: Thank you.

Jason: Yeah, well, you did kill the Joker. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Dick: I’ll tell you all about it after I make sure Timmy doesn’t get himself killed or lose another organ.

Jason: I’ll hold you to- Timmy lost an organ?

Dick [already calling Kori to get him to Tim]: Later. I’m on a time crunch now!

Jason: I’m holding you to that!

Jason: *sighs* No one in this family knows how to share.

[eelfishez]

"Smile for the camera Jeff!"

Mid-murder shenanigans :33

(Non-camera ver):

[egophiliac]

hold your children

I'm just exploding in slow motion until the rest of episode 7 comes out

[jaybee2000]

What most people are celebrating on July 4th

🇺🇸🎆🌭🍔🇺🇸🎇

Or

🇬🇧🗳️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

What I’m celebrating

⛈️🎧🏛️🏺⛈️

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

The BAU on a camping trip:

SPENCER: Went to get firewood three hours ago, no one has seen him since. Oh well, he brought his book with him. Worst case, he can curl up in a tree like a baby bird and wait to be rescued.

ELLE: Searching for Spencer, her emotional support genius.

GARCIA: It’s cold, there’s no WiFi, and there are bugs everywhere. She’s literally too pretty for this.

EMILY & MORGAN: Competing to build the best fort before sunset out of leaves and sticks, trash talking each other the whole time. Both will soon find out the hard way that that stuff was poison ivy. Spencer probably could have told them that.

JJ: Setting up the actual tent they brought with them, because the sun is setting and Virginia gets cold in the fall. Also, burning through the supply of toasting marshmallows, because there is still no firewood—she’s doing all the work, let her have her snacks.

HOTCH, ROSSI & GIDEON: Watching the chaos unfold from a nearby log, sharing a communal Tupperware of Rossi’s pasta and wishing they never agreed to this godforsaken camping trip in the first place.

Check out my Masterlist for more BAU scenarios

[gros-chat-fait]

Just six normal teens hanging out in the woods. --

100th post and final drawing of the year. Happy holidays and new year, everyone <3!

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

there's more than 50 reported deaths (for now)

[bleucalire]

« Mr Henry (🐇) was lost in the woods ! But Anthony found him !! »

[magical-girl-trucy]

Now listen: I do not ship Junithena. HOWEVER, I like the idea that everyone would think they were in a relationship because of how annoyingly sappy they are. They are very much in love. As friends. Platonic soulmates. But everyone else just sees them say these gay-ass lines and think otherwise.

[tamtam-go92]

Monday

Cord knew that his wife was going through a difficult phase. She didn't want to move Holly over to the Group House. When would she finally understand that this was the only possibility for a girl like her? She wasn't like the watcher wanted her to be. She was full of sin and would drag their youngest Brinam into her sinful behaviors too, if she continued to live with them. When would she finally understand?

Cherry knew that Cord was right, he was always right. But Holly was her baby... her beautiful little baby girl...

Ash hated how he was dragged into all of this. His dad said that Holly wasn't normal and that she couldn't live with them because of it. But he was so confused. So confused that he needed to write everything down. When Dad found out he would be mad, so he hid the notebook under Holly's bed.

Cherry hated how Cord always invited all those people over. Everyone but Holly...

And that night the family got another setback: The results of Ash's college applications came in - and weren't satisfying. He was declined from all three universities.

Esmee: Listen boy, going to college is totally overrated. Back in MY youth, nobody went to college, believe me...

When the guests finally left, Cherry felt like she couldn't breath anymore. She just - she just needed something to calm her nerves. She knew Cord hated it but he was upstairs fixing a broken sink. He wouldn't see her wouldn't notice. Just one quick sip and she'd be okay again, right?

Three glasses later Cord's cutting voice threw Cherry off.

Cord: Cherry! You told me you wouldn't drink anymore! Di- did you empty half of the bottle while I was upstairs? Cherry, that was half an hour? Have you even though about the boys? Do you want that kind of mother for them? Set such a horrible example for them.

No, Cherry didn't want to be a horrible example. But she just couldn't help it...

[hinashideout]

I love these two so much

[fishiteeth]

Roleplay blogs are genuinely so funny I giggle a bit every time

Certified penis and fuckwad post

@tob1-r0g3rs @ask-jeff-the-killer50891