#wont tho. unfortunately. i have commissions to fulfill

[todayisafridaynight]

To be fair RGGO Arakawa's son is confirmed either dead or unborn so it's A LITTLE less funny than him raising a normal son looking like that... still funny though I'm obsessed with him...

Speaking of Arakawa, I'm still going nuts about whatever's going on with him in IW. His voice line in the trailer in the trailer was so sweet but he uhhh Isn't Looking Too Sweet in the screenshots...

With Akane being in the game, I really wanna know whose perspective we're remembering him from too, since prior to that it seemed pretty certain it'd be either Jo or Ichiban. It's young Arakawa specifically, so it has to be between Jo and Akane as far as we know. I'm certain Jo has seen him go apeshit, but if Akane has and she fell for him anyway? Way of the Househusband-core... that'd say SO much about her... sooooo true though queen...

You’ll have to sue me because I Forgor the only thing i remembered was that his son Was Not Deranged. Which yeah i guess you cant be deranged if youre dead （＾∇＾）

I DIDNT EVEN HEAR HIS VOICE LINE THO WHAT if it was in the Official story trailer then oops.. lol.. i’ll take your word for it until im fucked enough to actually watch it LOL

Akane’s already a confirmed bamf if her not only booking it out of the hospital right after giving birth and escaping At The Time one of japan’s (or at least kamurocho’s don’t shoot me) most notorious clans to hawaii and then STILL having people after her. ACTUALLY had to get her out of the scene because she would’ve been too powerful otherwise

[fairycosmos]

why do i have such an unhealthy habit of saying yes to people when i cant do/dont want to do what they ask? :( im really stressed out about a commission i might not be able to do but i said i could do it (or at least try), and a lady from work asked to see some of my writing for fun if it was okay and i enthusiastically said "yea!!:)" like always even tho i dont rly want to share any of it... idk why i always accept these things that i cant do and stress myself out. how do i not let them down?:(

hey love. i’m really sorry to hear that. :( it must be so upsetting to have to deal with such a stressful complex. unfortunately i think this is actually a super common issue, especially with young people who haven’t had the chance to develop a true sense of self. if you have low self esteem on top of that, you’ll look for validation anywhere - even at your own expense. perhaps subconsciously you crave encouragement and praise, like most of us do. you’re trying to find reassurance from others because you refuse to give it to yourself, you know? it’s a really shitty, unhealthy trap to fall into but i get how easy it is to do so, i’m pretty much in the same place rn. the truth of it is that, to find a stable sense of confidence, you have to start with appreciating yourself and cutting yourself some slack. make the active choice to care about your own well being and happiness. everything you need is inside of you already. like, you think appeasing people and putting yourself in situations you find uncomfortable just to please them will be rewarded with you being perceived positively, right? in reality, people should like you for who you are, rather than for what you can do for them. and they will. just because you don’t see your naturally positive qualities, doesn’t mean they don’t. it could also be that you put all of your worth into your drawings/your writing, and so you feel like those are the only things worth sharing about you, but that’s not the case. your presence and your personality is good enough on its own, i promise. i know you dont believe that. but nobody else sees you as negatively as you see yourself. the problem with depending on others for self worth is that it creates an environment in which you wont ever feel 100% content with who you are. it’s impossible to please everyone all of the time. people will always find a reason to hate, or to cause drama. but you dont owe anyone anything, you really really dont. not your time, not your energy, not your work. saying no and putting yourself first is a skill, it takes time to hone and perfect, especially if you’re prone to self hatred. but it’s still very possible. allow it to be a process. learn one step at a time. you’re not letting people down, you’re setting your own personal boundaries and you have EVERY right to do that. i cant stress it enough.

even if you just begin with rejecting one inconvenient commission per month, or complimenting yourself when you look in the mirror, or being honest with someone about your comfort zone. small efforts like that will add up over time, and sooner than you think, you’ll realize that it’s not actually that difficult to root for yourself because you deserve it. we’re taught from birth that what other people think determines who we actually are, but that’s just not true. other people’s perception of you is often untrustworthy and one dimensional. you’re still a good artist, even if you’re not available 24/7. you’re still a good writer, even if your stories are private. it’s not about recognition or proving yourself, it’s about the sense of fulfillment you get from enjoying your hobbies. you don’t have to sacrifice that for other people. it’s pointless. there’s honestly no shame in being up front, because that’s the only way to get your point across. you wouldn’t expect others to drop everything just to draw for you, right? so dont project that expectation onto yourself. you’re doing great. you haven’t even done anything wrong. so, take a breath. if you make the conscious decision to incorporate small, confidence building exercises into your daily routine, then you’ll definitely notice a difference eventually. and yeah, you’ll feel stupid at first. and yeah, you’ll feel bad for not being able to be there for everyone constantly. but that’s just life, that’s just how it is and the people around you will have to accept it. it may take a while, but try to observe your own behaviour, notice the moment in which you overexert yourself just for someone else’s approval - so that the next time you feel the urge, you’re able to quell it before you act on it :) you dont have to prove that you deserve to take up space in the world by going out of your way all of the time. you’re good enough as you are. that’s what it always comes back to. i’m sorry, i know words are so empty when you’re in such a worried state of mind, but i hope you’re able to take at least some of what i say seriously. because i mean it with all of my heart ! just let me know if you want to discuss this properly, or if you ever need a friend. hit me up anytime.