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sundeathh · 10 months

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Aizawa’s sick day. Part III

- The following evening -

Part 1 here | Part 2 here | Masterlist

Pairing: Aizawa × Reader | Word count: 1.6K

Fandom: BNHA | MHA | Tags: reverse comfort, home life, romance, fluffy & cute, SFW.

CW: Sickness, stable relationship, cheesy stuff, married couple dynamics.

A/N: Long time no see. Probably the last part of this piece. One of my favorites, though. I hope you all like it!

3:36 P.M.

After finishing the call, you put your phone back down, wondering if you should head there or wait for him to get home. You put your bag on the coffee table and plopped on the couch with a sigh. 'A severe case of the Flu' - the words spun through your head. It was worse than you thought.

You pondered if you should go for a check-up, too, since it is contagious. But, so far, you weren't feeling any different than your usual self. Your immunity was quite worse than Shōta's, so you were surprised you didn't show any symptoms yourself.

But anyway, it was good that at least you were okay. You needed your strength to take care of your husband. Still with your phone next to you, you grabbed it again, sending him a text message.

"Should I go pick you up?" It read.

No response. And it stayed unread for a while. You resisted the urge to go there since Shōta was already at the infirmary, so you assumed he was receiving the treatment needed.

Distracting yourself wasn't easy, though. You went back and forth through your hobbies since you had done the home chores already. But neither was enough to keep your mind at ease.

5:19 P.M.

You were cleaning the floor for the second time that day when the bip of your phone notifications made you stop to get to it, anxious about if there was any update about your partner.

You got a text message. After tapping on it to read Shōta's words, you read: "Sorry I didn't answer sooner. Recovery Girl asked me to put the phone down so she could examine me again. It seems I'll be fine. She insisted I should take at least three days off, though."

You typed back: "Good. I'm glad you'll finally have some time for yourself. You needed a break. Are you coming home?"

"Yes. I'm walking to the bus stop right now."

"What? Why? Why didn't you ask for a cab?"

"No need. I'm feeling well enough to go home by bus."

"You better sit at that bus stop and wait for me to get you. I'm not letting you come back in a crowded bus."

"You don't have to, I'm OK."

"On my way." You typed, throwing your phone into your bag, and grabbing your car keys. He may be stubborn. A lot stubborn. But you could beat him easily when it came to that.

6:22 P.M.

The familiar rumble of your car engine pulled Aizawa up from his seat at the bus stop. The tired expression on his face subdued a little to show you a small smile instead. He opened the car door and slid into the passenger seat. Aizawa greeted you.

"Thanks for coming to pick me up," he said, his voice a bit raspy but filled with gratitude.

You gave him a soft smile, reaching your hand over to gently pat his forearm. "Of course, Shōta. I wasn't going to let you ride the bus in your condition. Now, let's get you home and into bed."

Aizawa nodded, leaning back into the seat with a smile stamped on his lips. "Of course, you wouldn't," he said, amused.

You rolled your eyes and giggled. "You would do the same. Or worse yet, maybe carry me instead of letting me walk myself". You said back.

He huffed but smiled. The drive was quiet after that, a comfortable silence between you two that shared care and understanding. As you approached home, you couldn't help but glance at him, concern etched on your face.

"How are you feeling, really?" you asked, your eyes focused on the road but attentive to his response.

He sighed, a mix of exhaustion and contentment in his voice. "Honestly, better now that I know I'm heading home. Recovery Girl worked her magic, but nothing beats being in my own space."

You smiled, appreciating the sentiment. "Well, you're going to get plenty of rest now. No hero work, no meetings, just relaxation."

He chuckled, a sound that warmed your heart. "Sounds like paradise right now." He smiled, feeling relieved for the first time in a long while.

6:55 P.M.

Once home, you guided Aizawa inside, ensuring he was comfortable before disappearing into the kitchen to prepare a light meal. The aroma of chicken soup filled the air as you carefully monitored the pot on the stove. Aizawa settled onto the couch, looking around with a faint smile.

"You really didn't have to do all this," he commented, his eyes lingering on you. You turned, meeting his gaze with a determined look. "Well, I wanted to. And don't argue. Recovery Girl's orders: plenty of rest and a good meal."

Aizawa chuckled again, a softness in his eyes that spoke more than words could. "You're overprotective, you know that?"

You shrugged, a playful glint in your eyes. "Only when it comes to you. I learned it from the best teacher, anyway." You teased.

Aizawa settled further into the couch, his eyes never leaving you as you moved around the kitchen. The warmth in the room seemed to intensify, not just from the simmering soup but from the shared understanding between the two of you.

"Well, I appreciate the overprotectiveness," he admitted, a soft smile on his lips. "I guess I'm lucky to have someone looking out for me."

The comment made you smile, and you couldn't help but feel a swell of affection. As you plated the soup, you grabbed a couple of spoons and made your way to the couch.

"Here you go," you said, handing him a bowl. "Hot chicken soup, just what the hero ordered." Aizawa accepted it with a grateful nod, the aroma instantly enticing his senses.

As he took a spoonful, Aizawa's eyes closed in appreciation. "You might be onto something. This is really good."

"See? Overprotectiveness has its perks," you teased again, sipping from your own spoon. He smiled. "I guess it does".

The evening continued in a similar way – a shared meal, light banter, and the comfort of being in each other's company. Aizawa, despite the lingering exhaustion, seemed to relax, the care and attention you provided working wonders for him.

You both knew the unspoken agreement: Aizawa needed this time to recover, and you were more than willing to provide the support he needed.

As the evening settled into the night, you found yourself on the couch together, a cozy blanket draped over both of you. Aizawa, still looking a bit tired, leaned into you, finding solace in the warmth of your presence.

"Thank you," he murmured, his gratitude evident. You placed a soft kiss on his temper, a gesture filled with tenderness. "Always, love. Now, rest. I'll be right here."

8:02 P.M.

The evening breeze gently rustled the curtains as you watched the credits rolling up on the TV screen. Aizawa leaned back on the couch, the signs of exhaustion more apparent now. His eyes drooped slightly, and you could tell that the toll of the day was catching up to him.

"I think it's time for you to get some proper rest," you suggested, untangling from the embrace. "Let me help you to bed."

Aizawa hesitated, glancing at you with a mix of gratitude and stubbornness. "I can manage, you know."

You raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in your eyes. "Sure, you can. But it's more fun when you let me take care of you in the end," you said softly. He chuckled, realizing the futility of arguing with you when you had that determined look.

Slowly, you helped him stand, supporting him as he swayed slightly. His usual stoic demeanor softened as he leaned on you for support.

Guiding him to the bedroom, you could feel the warmth of his fever against your touch. Concern etched your features as you helped him settle into bed.

"Looks like you've got a bit of a fever again," you observed, adjusting the covers as you tucked him in. "Let's try to cool you down a bit, okay?"

Aizawa sighed, appreciating the care. "I'll be fine, just need some rest."

You nodded. "Rest is exactly what you're going to get. I'll be right here if you need anything." You said before walking out of the room to get a damp cloth.

The room was dimly lit, and when you returned, you sat beside him, watching over as he already drifted into a peaceful sleep. The soft hum of the air conditioner and the occasional creak of the floorboards created a soothing background.

"Rest well, Sho." You whispered, carefully placing the damp cloth on his forehead.

And as the night progressed, you continued to monitor his condition, occasionally replacing the damp cloth to ensure his fever stayed in check.

This quiet moment allowed you to reflect on the bond of care and vulnerability you both shared. Aizawa, despite being the stern hero in the light of day, looked so vulnerable in his sleep.

You couldn't help but feel a deep sense of protectiveness, a desire to shield him from the challenges the hero world imposed on him. It hurts so much to watch him endangering himself over and over again due to his work demands. Still, you admired him just as much.

You could never protect him the way he did with you or with his students, so instead, you sat by his side, a guardian in the quiet hours, ready to provide comfort and care until the morning light of each day. Even though you were not a hero, this was your way to protect him. And it worked just as any hero work does for people.

The love you felt suppressed all the worry you had. And although you would never stop worrying, having him there to rest for a few days, beside you and safe from his work hazards, felt like a touch of heaven in your heart.

Leaning in gently to place a peck on his cheek, you whispered "I love you" for the hundredth time to his unconscious mind.

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cosmic-corporation · 1 month

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AFJAGAJJHA I LOVE THE YAPPING OK (<- avid tag reader) IM EATING THIS LORE UP LIKE A DELICIOUS GOURMET MEAL /ref YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND🔥🔥 ITS SO FUN TO READ!!! CREATIVITY CREATIVITY!!!! (also reading lore just motivates me to do stuff idk why) (ough… platonic marriage /silly)

what about cassian? hehehehe (laying on my bed, on my stomach, reading lore and kicking my feet like a little girl)

- ducky anon

ooh when I catch you ducky, ducky when I catch you-/j

Cassian is... One of the BIGGEST characters I have they live in my brain all the time as we as their partner in crime, Archie ( @gl0wsticko 's character I lob archie am <3)

suicide mention after the 'read more'

That's the newest rendition of Cassian that I've got :]]

and since they're the character I have built the most, I'm gonna section things up a bit!!!

Family

THE WHOLE IRVINE FAMILY IN AGE ORDER SOVANNA - MOM - 59 HANNES - DAD - 57 ATTICUS - OLDEST BROTHER - 36 CASSIAN - MIDDLE BROTHER - 28 CECIL - MIDDLE SISTER - 16-17-18 IONE - YOUNGEST SISTER - 13-14 DOYLE - DOG - 3

Cassian is currently trying to avoid their own family due to their mission. Cecil pursues Cassian, trying to convince them to come back home. Ione has no memories of Cassian, only the stories Cecil and Atticus tell her.

Mission

At a fairly young age, Cassian was taken to a cult and some sort of curse was put upon them. idk how to really explain it, BUT, their mission is to take out any humanoid creature that *isn't* human. (themself INCLUDED!!!) they're a hypocrite SHIT. But, due to this mission they left their family to keep them safe. They moved around constantly trying to avoid enemies they've made and to avoid being found by Cecil. Along this, they found Archie who became their partner in crime. archie uses xe/xim for whoever is wondering. Once Cassian is no longer able to go on with their mission, they are supposed to end their own life due to the hypocricy mostly. They don't remember being cursed, they only know they get strong, painful headaches at the thought of purposfully sparing someone they shouldn't or at the thought of keeping themself alive in the end.

Relationships

Despite having left, their relationship with their family is still decently intact!!! They love and miss their family every day, having a framed family photo always hidden wherever they're staying. Cassian and Cecil were also quite close, with Cassian still sending Cecil letters and voice mails some days. The lanterns and candles on their antlers are from Cecil. see here's where it all goes so fucking KABAMBAM

ARCHIE AND CASSIAN'S RELATIONSHIP!!!!

they're gay for eachother. 100%. no denying it. in so many AUs if things went right they'd be together. The two pine for eachother in secret, but neither confesses. Archie fears rejection and Cassian is scared to love someone, worried about the enemies they've made and mostly worried about xir safety. If Archie were to confess, Cassian would reject xim and initially be cold and harsh, but later come around to apologize to xim for being mean. (THEY ARE THE DEFENITION OF 'Somethin' Stupid' BY FRANK SINATRA KILL ME) But regardless, Cassian would do anything and everything to keep xim safe from harm. their love languages if ur curious; feels loved with acts of service and physical touch, but expresses love with words of affirmation for the most part they're also a cuddly and koala kinda guy.

Fears

They don't have a lot of fears, honestly. They mostly just fear killing their family and Archie, seeing as those are the only people they have left that still care about them. They're also violently insecure about their deer traits (antlers, ears, nose, and tail) :]

Hobbies

They're a BIIIIIIIIIG reader. and word man, so many fancy word,,,, They also enjoy cooking a lot :]

Misc

THEY'RE FUCKING BRITISH !!! They/them but prefers masculine terms like "boyfriend" and stuff like that They have a weighted spider plushie they cuddle with silk pjs, skincare routine, very hygiene oriented. you would not expect them to be a murderer/hj

also here's their playlist :] helps explain personality or wants and stuff.

the family excluding cassian ^

AND THE SPECIAL XE, ARCHIE !!!!!!! <3333 i love archie sm archie cassian all day all night all that's in my brain GET THE TWO OF THEM OUT/j

anyways there's your extra large lore session i love cassian sm <3

#poster is going mental help #ducky anon #oc #ocs #my ocs #original character

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yumeko2sevilla · 6 months

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<Conductor>_ anonymous observer

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀᴀɴᴄᴇ

"Despite everything, it's still me in the mirror.."

_'Conductor'_Observer of the World

'Full Name': 'Kuemori Aoi'

⤿Kuemori (玖枝森): A name of Japanese origin. Combines between '玖枝', meaning 'A beautiful black stone's branch' and '森', meaning 'forest.'

⤿Aoi (青唯): A name of Japanese origin, meaning 'blue only.'

Japanese: 青唯玖枝森

Other Names:

↳Yukikaze/Aoi_ Preferred Name

↳(Mx.) Conductor_By most

↳Monsieur Conducteur_ Rook Hunt

↳Moon Jellyfishie_Mizukurage-chan_Floyd Leech

↳Insurrable Asshole_Yuzu Sakamaki (@/anxious-twisted-vampire)

↳The Seconded Storyteller of Reality

↳Anonymous Observer of Timelines

↳Kue_....

Title(s):

↳The Seconded Storyteller of Reality

Twisted From: Levia Barisol_ Evillious Chronicles_mothy + Es_Milgram + Azami_Kagerou Project_jin

Voice Actor(s):

↳Japanese_V Flower_Vocaloid

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

Age: 18 (Appearance Wise)_Unknown

Gender: Transmasc Non-Binary (Any pronouns -She/Her. Prefers He/Him)

Species: Undead Storyteller_?

Birthday: October 11_ Libra

Height: 194 cm

Dominant Hand: Right

Hair Color: Gray-ish Mint Green_ Human Form + Dark Blue_ True Form

Eye Color: Twilight Purple_ Blue Hues

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

Homeland:___

Family: [ERROR]

Dormitory: Ramshackle_Unofficial

Grade: Sophomore

Class: 2-A_ No. 36

Club: Literature Club_ Light Music Club

Best Subject(s): Literature, Arts, Alchemy

Favorite Food(s): Spring Rolls

Least Favorite Food(s):??

Talent(s): Observant, Diverse Vocal Range, Storywriting, Weapon Mastery, DJing

Hobbies: Singing, Sleeping, Observing, Spending Times Alone, Listening to Musics

❝The infamous Storyteller of Ramshackle. Known for his mysterious identity and observant eyes, he never really let anything out of his worldview less alone a single detail.❞

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ───╯

┌──═━┈━═──┐

ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

'Kuemori Aoi is cold.' Does that sounds familiar to you, especially when you were the person they were talking about?

Well, that's the situation for one Yukikaze.

Yukikaze wears a mask of unmeasurable coldness, always acts like an apethetic audience even if the situation may cost his life. He cares little for those around him, drifting him away from unnecessary attentions.

He is rarely seen with a smile of his face, unitentionally makes people on edge with him. After all, no one can guess what he will do next, for there isn't a sound that can be count as a voice he let out.

That's until you get to know him really. He will let his guard down, and put on you tooo many love. He doesn't want to let you down.

Maybe because of his timid nature, that Yukikaze was able to blend in so well. So don't ask if he notices something that most forget or just simply don't care. It created a rumor that he can watch you from behind when you don't notice..

For even if in another universes, Yukikaze will always watching his creations.

†•°•══════ஓ๑✬๑ஓ══════•°•†

✬Unique Magic: Heartbeat of Untitled Stories (題名のない物語の鼓動)

"On that blank page, we write our stories that's left unnamed. Creating the world we want, building our wonderful monochromatic tales. Heartbeat of Untitled Stories."

↳The user is capable of changing fates. When using this ability, they can shift the 'fate' of others and themself- most will call it, but sometimes it is simply just the battle's situation- by creating multiple events that help to change it into what's benefical for them and the people they loved.

↳Just to clarify, a price must be payed if the fate they have changed was deemed "opposing to God."

†•°•══════ஓ๑✬๑ஓ══════•°•†

↳ Backstory: [Unnamed Reflections]

↳Main Theme: Bug_Kairiki Bear • Life-Cheating Game_kemu

↳Although pretty much prefers the name 'Yukikaze' or his surname, Yukikaze actually doesn't mind being called 'Kuemori' by his friends. Expect for a certain Vampire, then he is fine with it.

↳He has a very strong voice range! In one second, his voice may be soft and calming, but then another second and he turns into a metal screaming monster.

↳Yukikaze likes to spending time wandering in the campus alone. Just himself, among the beach of humans. He likes to walk aimlessly all by himself, honestly.

↳ After the previous Storyteller of Reality got banished, Yukikaze was created to take the place of it. Although he usually takes his job seriously, when 'he' doesn't notice then he will change up the fates of those he considered innocent.

↳In total, Yukikaze can speak around five languagues, English, Vietnamese, Japanese, German and Russian.

↳Yukikaze claims that he was born by someone who's named "Kisaki Aoi." There is no recording of such a person.

↳No one really knows his real Unique Magic, even Yukiharu and he's much prefer it stayed that way.

↳Seemingly always know where the first years are.

Profile Inspiration by @rosietrace

@anxious-twisted-vampire @writing-heiress @achy-boo @yukii0nna @abyssthing198

#twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland #persona:)#<Conductor❄️>#kuemori❄️#observing writer #did i say that <conductor> is a multiversal oc?

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cherrylng · 3 months

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Meet the new boss - Bruce Springsteen Interview [ROCKIN'ON (April 2009)]

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

2009 with a New President, a New America, and a New Boss Springsteen talks about his dream for his new album "Working on a Dream."

TEXT BY MARK HAGEN © GUARDIAN NEWS & MEDIA LTD 2009. TRANSLATION BY AKANE SUZUKI PHOTOGRAPH BY MAYUMI NASHIDA

Bruce Springsteen has already boasted a long career spanning 36 years since his debut, but even for Bruce Springsteen, the year 2008 was probably one of the most rewarding years of his career. This is because the new album, "Working on a Dream," is an extraordinary revival of the E Street Band, surpassing even the previous album, "Magic," which was welcomed with joy by the fans.

If "Magic" was the E Street Band's greatest revival, this new album is a power-packed masterpiece that tells listeners that the E Street Band is back at full throttle, just as they ran with the blues in the 1970s and '80s. In some ways, Bruce's rock is an extreme purification of the meaning of American rock and roll, so it is not that Bruce's solo work is not accessible or hard to get into. However, when playing with the E Street Band, Bruce's rock explodes with such clarity, which was confirmed again at the E Street show that had been back since 1999 and at the halftime show at the Super Bowl in February. And the new album showed us this in the recording. It is no wonder that this new album was the first blues album in a long time to reach No. 1 across the board in many countries.

It is also striking that the resurgence of the E Street bands is strangely linked to the political climate in the United States. The blues' chapter of rock music and the happy days of youth came to an end and the E Street Band parted ways in 1983, when the Reagan administration's neo-conservatism in politics and neoliberalism in the economy were in full swing. The fact that "Born in the USA," a song about the emotional struggles of a Vietnam War veteran, was used as a patriotic song in President Reagan's campaign and completely re-contextualized, also triggered a change of course for the Blues. Twenty-five years later, the new President Obama, whom Bruce has openly supported in his campaign and inaugural shows, is expected to bring about a major shift in the American political landscape over the past two decades. It is in this season that the E Street Band is back in full swing.

In this issue, we present Bruce's latest words, in which he explains his current state of mind and mood, as well as his own thoughts on the current American mood. -Takami Nobuaki

For the original interview article, you can find it on The Guardian under this text:

Meet the new boss - Interview by Mark Hagen

Translator's Note: Originally, I was planning on translating the text of the interview in the magazine, but then I saw that this was from The Guardian, and knowing that The Guardian's contents are basically free, I checked for it and, lo and behold, the article is still there after all.

I know that both Deepl and Google Translate will translate something completely different from the original text source compared to the Japanese translation that I have. So I decided that the best course of action, is to link the original source instead.

"But Cherry, why did you scan and translate this? Are you suddenly a Bruce Springsteen fan or have secretly been one this whole time?"

Nah, I just happen to have a mutual whom I've followed for a lot of years now on Tumblr who will love this. I've seen them grow up and gone to University, their hobbies and love of life and nature, the highs and lows that they've gone through. But most of all, their honest and unshamed love for Bruce Springsteen, House MD, Russell Crowe, and U2. In that order. Not sure if they still like Coldplay, but I like to think that they still do a little bit :)

#Bruce Springsteen #my scan #translation #ROCKIN'ON #ROCKIN'ON April 2009

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orthodoxsoul · 2 years

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Orthodox priest and teacher Fr. Thomas Hopko, who passed away eight years ago this week, wrote many wonderful things in his life. One favorite is this list of 55 Maxims for Christian Living. They're applicable, I think, to non-Orthodox Christians and, many of them, to non-Christians too

Here they are:

1. Be always with Christ.

2. Pray as you can, not as you want.

3. Have a keepable rule of prayer that you do by discipline.

4. Say the Lord’s Prayer several times a day.

5. Have a short prayer that you constantly repeat when your mind is not occupied with other things.

6. Make some prostrations when you pray.

7. Eat good foods in moderation.

8. Keep the Church’s fasting rules.

9. Spend some time in silence every day.

10. Do acts of mercy in secret.

11. Go to liturgical services regularly

12. Go to confession and communion regularly.

13. Do not engage intrusive thoughts and feelings. Cut them off at the start.

14. Reveal all your thoughts and feelings regularly to a trusted person.

15. Read the scriptures regularly.

16. Read good books a little at a time.

17. Cultivate communion with the saints.

18. Be an ordinary person.

19. Be polite with everyone.

20. Maintain cleanliness and order in your home.

21. Have a healthy, wholesome hobby.

22. Exercise regularly.

23. Live a day, and a part of a day, at a time.

24. Be totally honest, first of all, with yourself.

25. Be faithful in little things.

26. Do your work, and then forget it.

27. Do the most difficult and painful things first.

28. Face reality.

29. Be grateful in all things.

30. Be cheefull.

31. Be simple, hidden, quiet and small.

32. Never bring attention to yourself.

33. Listen when people talk to you.

34. Be awake and be attentive.

35. Think and talk about things no more than necessary.

36. When we speak, speak simply, clearly, firmly and directly.

37. Flee imagination, analysis, figuring things out.

38. Flee carnal, sexual things at their first appearance.

39. Don’t complain, mumble, murmur or whine.

40. Don’t compare yourself with anyone.

41. Don’t seek or expect praise or pity from anyone.

42. We don’t judge anyone for anything.

43. Don’t try to convince anyone of anything.

44. Don’t defend or justify yourself.

45. Be defined and bound by God alone.

46. Accept criticism gratefully but test it critically.

47. Give advice to others only when asked or obligated to do so.

48. Do nothing for anyone that they can and should do for themselves.

49. Have a daily schedule of activities, avoiding whim and caprice.

50. Be merciful with yourself and with others.

51. Have no expectations except to be fiercely tempted to your last breath.

52. Focus exclusively on God and light, not on sin and darkness.

53. Endure the trial of yourself and your own faults and sins peacefully, serenely, because you know that God’s mercy is greater than your wretchedness.

54. When we fall, get up immediately and start over.

55. Get help when you need it, without fear and without shame.

#orthodox #Fr. Thomas Hopko #how to live #55 maxims #orthodox christianity #christian living

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fantasies-fairytales-n-fics · 1 year

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Code Blue Ch. 36- Time in a Bottle

Summary: Josie gets new wheels and an unexpected visitor. Her stress catches up with her. Megan sets her off and blurts out something shocking. Lee and Jo go for a ride. The outing doesn't go as planned. Josie finds something heartfelt. Lee comes clean. So does Jo.

*Warnings* Language, angst, domestic dispute, anxiety attack, graphic depictions, drug mentions, roofie rape mentions

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Chapter characters: Josie, Luke, Megan, Lee,

Salem, Massachusetts

March 8, 2023

You pulled around to the back of your mom's house where the old barn sized brick garage was that Jason used to run a small motorcycle repair shop out of years ago. It now only consisted of a small art studio you created for your hobby, the lawnmower and the storage of three bikes. One was Jason's Harley and two were yours, an actual bicycle that used to be your grandmother's and could definitely pass for Almira Gulch's bike in the Wizard of Oz, and the other was the bike Jason got you and taught you to ride, a much smaller 1978 Yamaha DT 125, and that would be your go to for awhile now while you stored your Monte Carlo in the garage, out of sight, hopefully out of mind from the bar thugs that Luke pissed off and would be looking for it. How were you going to explain this one to Lee when you show up at this place on a motorcycle that he didn't even knew you owned, let alone could ride?

You leaned on the Harley's seat for awhile, thinking of Jason and how you used to ride it with him. He never wore a helmet but always made you wear one. You loved the thrill of the ride, the speed, the freedom you felt with the wind blowing through your hair, so much so that you had begged Jason to teach you to ride, but of course not with his bike. You could barely hold the monstrous beast up, so that's when Jason purchased the smaller one for you. Little but fierce, the two wheeled dirt bike was, reaching a max speed of 70 mph...and your plan was to get Lee on it with you, for it was his turn to go to one of your safe haven's you had once told him about. It was there you also planned to get the truth out of him.

Your thoughts went back to Jason while you brought your bike out, wondering what he was doing right now as you locked the garage back up. The only way you could get ahold of him was through Craig, which you refused to do, or there was Sonny, where you knew Jason was hiding out, but if you were seen going there, it might raise some red flags, for it was no secret you didn't like the mob boss or his bitch of a wife, Carly, who happened to be Jason's bff just as Sonny was and both always seemed to come first in his life. The blonde entitled vixen was someone you and Britt both would rather not be around. It was too odd of a situation considering Jason used to screw her before she married Sonny.

You propped the bike on it's kickstand in front of the garage and went inside, practically being ran over by one of your mom's dogs.

"Damn it Tater!! Get back here!" you shouted to the stocky jailbreaking tan colored mixed breed of NO CLUE. He was your mom's dog and the other, Marmaduke, was your dad's Great Dane who was always lounging on the couch like he owned the place. The dwarf sized horse pretty much did.

"Mom?? You here?? Tater took off!" You hollered up the stairs and then went in the kitchen when she didn't answer. The damn smell of Megan's cigarette smoke freshly lingered through the house and you could see the film of it in the rays of sunlight shining in from the window, which you then opened and turned on the stove's exhaust fan. Ballsy bitch is all you could call her, knowing if you smelled it, your mom certainly would and so did the poor dogs. No wonder Tater was itching to be free, besides the fact he despised Megan.

The answering machine was beeping, so you played it as you made a mountainous ham sandwich with mayo, lettuce, onion. pickle and cheese.

Knowing your mom wasn't home due to looking out the window and not seeing her car in the driveway, you let out a shrill scream after hearing the realtor's message about the closing sale of the Haunted Star which is probably where she went.

You sat down at the table, aggressively cutting your manly sandwich in two and then....

"Fuck!" You snapped, slamming the knife down. The thought of Orlando's sleezeball father owning and running Jason's boat, probably with Ethan at his side, had you seeing red. And it never would have happened if Jason hadn't fake his death, or more so hadn't changed his will. Of course, if he hadn't put the boat in someone's name, it would have gotten tied up in the state. Another mess that wasn't needed. But your mom, she didn't have to sell it!

Fuming, you shoved the sandwich into your mouth, chewing through heavy breaths with your cheeks looking like a chipmunk stuffed with nuts until your phone beeped, then you heard a motorcycle in the driveway.

"I have your dog."

With your eyes wide, you quickly chewed your food until you could swallow it without choking to death and then ran to the back door to see Luke sitting on your bike with Tater proud and grinning at his feet.

"You....followed me??!!"

"Well, technically no. I'm out for the day to house and job hunt, but...I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and make sure you got to where you were going safe and sound."

"So technically, you did follow me."

"Look, I meant no harm. I'm not some stalker, just looking out for you is all AND I found your dog in the process. He was running in the street, trying to bite my tires."

"And just how did you know it's our dog?? He could live down the street."

"But he doesn't. Tag on the collar says so."

"Oh..." you quietly replied, feeling like a complete dumbass as he grinned at you. To deflect from your humiliation, you stepped around the corner to view his ride.

"So you ride huh? Nice bike. Triumph speed 400?"

Luke smiled pretty big. "Ahhh, you know your bikes. I like yours too. Yamaha DT 125." he said as he got up and stroked the handle bars, then smirked. "I like a woman that likes to ride. Wanna take mine for a a spin? Unless it's too big for you to handle?"

You offered a slight glare and shake of your head, hearing the double meaning in his tone.

"I'm quite happy with the one I have. It's the perfect size for me." you flatly retorted, hoping he would get your own double meaning of...you have a well equipped boyfriend.

He did, but didn't care. "Hmmm, to each their own. I do like the feel of driving a smaller one beneath me. Maybe I could drive yours someday. I'd sure like to."

"You're something else, you know that?" you said, rolling your eyes. "I really need to go now and so can you. Thanks for the looking out that I didn't ask for and don't need. Come on Tater."

You turned and let the dog in and then went to go in too until his words ceased your steps.

"I'm sorry...this isn't really me. I...I'm just so used to being a certain way with people. Not many friends, remember?"

"You mean you're used to being an egotistical arrogant asshole. I can see why you don't have many friends."

"Ouch. Guess I deserved that."

"Maybe. Look, I don't enjoy being mean to people...I'm just...guarded and I..I guess that's my way of protecting myself and I'm super good at reading people too. I can see this is your own defense mechanism, your way of showing people no one can touch you, keeping people at a safe distance with your humor...and that's exactly what you're getting from it. Distance. And I get why you're like this, I do. Landy is somewhat the same way, minus the sexual innuendos. But I trust him. He earned it. I really don't know how to trust you because the real you I have yet to see, and I...I thought that I had...but Landy says THIS is the real you...so you tell me Luke...which is it??? Because I am sick to death of being toyed with by everyone I thought I could trust!"

You could feel your chest tightening again, but something felt different this time and Luke's words began to fade as he went on.

"You say you get why I am like this...well it's not all because of my dad if that's what you're referring to. I've been fucked over too Josie, christ, who hasn't right? And.....Josie??"

The next thing you knew, Luke was carrying you into the kitchen and sitting you down, then he was ripping off paper towels from the holder.

"Here, hold still, put your head back."

"Wh..wha...why? What's..."

"You have a bloody nose and you almost collapsed. I think you're just overly stressed." he explained calmly as he held a wad of the paper towels under your nose and pinched the bridge with his fingers. "Has this ever happened before??"

"I...no...I mean well, yes, but it's been a long time...I..."

Now you were beginning to panic, clutching onto his coat with one hand and his wrist with the other as you gasped for breath through your mouth.

"Hey there, come on, look at me, you're ok, you're ok, it's just a little blood and it's stopping." Luke softly said with a cool composure and soothing tranquility, once again, knowing just what to do in an urgent situation.

You did as he said and looked into his hushing hazel green eyes as he demonstrated breathing in and out of his mouth in long relaxing breaths for you to follow.

"That's it. In and out, nice and slow."

"Really??"

His eyes grew wide as his breaths became still.

"Oh..NO no no..I swear I didn't mean..."

Your bellowing laughter halted his words, turning him a rose shade of red when he realized he had just been bamboozled.

"Good one Josephine."

Luke hopped up with a grin and moistened a clean wash cloth, then sat back down and began cleaning the blood off of you.

"Point made. If I want to be taken seriously and trusted, then I need to stop being fake. That's as real as I can be right now." he said in all seriousness as he dabbed tenderly at your skin.

It couldn't have been a worse time for your trolloping sister to come home, freezing in her tracks as she caught sight of Luke all hands on with you.

"Well well, who do we have here sister? Do tell cause he certainly don't look like Dr. Dreamy tending to your bodily fluids." she quipped as she took out cold pizza from the fridge, plopped down with her feet up on the table and began eating while basically undressing Luke with her eyes.

"Ughhh, go AWAY! I'm in no mood for you!" you snapped and knocked her feet off the table, in which she put right back up.

"I'm Megan, since my sister is so rude."

"I know who you are." Luke abruptly said inn a not so nice manner.

"Wowza, the rudeness is contagious today. And you are??"

"You know the guy you're fucking this month? I'm his brother...Luke."

Megan's brows instantly furrowed as she stopped chewing.

You smugly grinned at his immediate dislike of her and his snarky remark.

"I seee...well, you could always join us. I'm completely open to that." she retorted with a little smirk.

"Megan, you would be open to anything up to and including a horse's cock." you raved with great satisfaction.

She tossed her pizza in the box and sat forward with a taunting smile.

"I hear Lee likes cock too."

If blood could be heard boiling, it would be yours. All was silent as you reciprocated her glare and then, you flung your chair out behind you and lunged at her with a scream as Luke caught you in mid air, which sent Megan's chair flying backwards and her onto her ass in panic.

"Let me go Luke!!!" you shouted as you ferociously wriggled in his firm grip of locked arms around your waist.

"Sorry love, can't do that. She's not worth it."

"Oh YES SHE IS!!"

Megan stood up in a fury and shouted back something that completely floored you.

"Did you know your perfect ass boyfriend was in love with Ethan and they got married???!!! How's that for being open??!"

"Get out of here now!!" Luke barked, furiously pointing to the doorway while gripping you tightly with one arm. "Or I'll let her go!"

"With pleasure!"

Megan stormed up the stairs and slammed her door as you stood frozen and wide eyed with tears balancing on the rims of your lower lids. Luke cautiously released you and you went back to the table and slowly sat down in tremendous shock.

"Is...is it...true?" you asked Luke with a jittery voice while you peered up at him, tears now falling as you began to visibly tremble.

"Josie...I..."

"Did you know??!" you raged as you closed your eyes, gripping the seat of your chair with white knuckles.

"It's not my business."

You flung back up, mad as hell. "Bullshit!! You make everything your business. You know my entire life so don't fucking tell me your own brother and friend's life was unknown to you."

"Josie...did you seriously think I would just tell you that? It wasn't my place to tell first of all and..."

"And what?? You KNEW the trouble Lee and I were having over Ethan. You KNEW Luke, that I was begging him for answers that he was refusing to give me, that I DESERVED to know. I should have heard it from him and instead, I hear it from my cunt sister of all people...I...I...I seriously can't take anymore."

"Josie...your reaction right now is probably why Lee was afraid to tell you."

"Are you seriously defending him??? My reaction right now is because of how I found out. Lee had every fucking chance to tell me and if he would have, I...I would have understood, we could have worked through it...but the fact is....he didn't tell me. I get it, I get it that he was afraid, but I think it's a hell of a lot more than that and you know why?? because Megan just said it! He was in love with him! Is that a lie Luke???"

"Josie...I won't do this. You will have to ask him. I'm sorry."

"You know what? Just go."

"I don't think I should leave you like this and alone with Megan. I want to help you but I just can't.."

"GO LUKE!" you cried and whipped the door open.

He began to walk out and stopped as he reached you. His hand came softly to your cheek as he spoke sympathetically.

"I really am sorry. If you need me...I will be here. This...is the real me."

You whimpered as you stepped back from his touch without looking at him. Luke's eyes fell and he then slowly walked out.

Down the wall you slid, dropping to your butt and drawing your knees to your chest, then bawling into them.

After a good five minutes of hyperventilating, you found your phone and with hands shaking something awful, you texted Lee.

"I'm picking you up. Be outside your lake house at 3 and wear hiking attire. It's now or never Lee."

You needed to leave before your mom got back so she wouldn't see you this way and Lee's lake house was not far from your apartment. You sent her a text about your car being there, then you fired up your bike and took off to stop at your apartment for a long much needed hot shower since you had a few hours to spare.

You parked the bike at the curb, then literally hauled ass up the stairs and jogged down the hall to your apartment so you wouldn't run into Craig, for you knew you would just blow up at him if you did.

Now that you were alone with the steaming water pouring over your head, you couldn't help but to break down again, crying for the entire twenty minute shower.

It was the first shower you had taken at your new place, a shower that you and Lee planned to share together and you began to imagine him there with you but it kept turning into him with Ethan, telling him he loved him. It took everything in you not to just scream at the top of your lungs, but you didn't need Craig huffing and puffing and blowing your house down. Instead, you sucked all your anger down, then got out and dressed to ride, then saw his reply.

"Ok. I cannot wait to see you sweet girl."

Although you were running on fumes from lack of good quality sleep, you were completely wired as the cool pre-spring air, smelling of the nearby bay, powered over your face at 50 mph as you cruised through the twists and turns of the country-like, forest filled area. And soon, Lee would have the intoxicating experience as well, whether he liked it or not.

As you gracefully made the last curve before his lake house, you took in many deep breaths to try and relax the damn butterflies in your stomach that were both nervous and excited to see him, and the anger that resided in your soul.

There he was, as you pulled up, sitting on a stone bench by the side entrance at the top of his drop down driveway, looking lost in thought. Those thoughts were soon stolen by the shocking sight of you on a motorcycle as you climbed off and kicked the stand down with your biker style black boots. Needless to say, his face was priceless as his eyes studied you from head to toe.

"You...you ride??" Lee asked as he remained seated, looking your two wheeler over in astonishment. He really wanted to go and scoop you up into his arms because he had missed you immensely and also because you looked sexy as hell in your biker gear, but something about your demeanor and your text told him he had better keep his distance. He figured you were still angry about yesterday and the way he bailed after the heated kiss you initiated. Actually, he knew your anger would be more over the fact that he had indirectly and wrongfully accused you of messing around with your landlord, which he had instantly regretted after he left. If he only knew how wrong he was as to where your anger stemmed from....and he was about to very soon.

"It would appear so huh?"

Yep, your tone confirmed it. You were pissed.

"Yeah. I just never knew. You never told me."

"It seems there's a lot we don't know about each other."

His head lowered, eyes on his hands as as he fidgeted with his thumb.

"You're still angry with me."

"You ready?" you flatly asked, ignoring his statement.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there."

Your words were simple and brief, but made their point.

"Ok...I umm... I have something inside I'd like to give you. I was going to give it to you yesterday but..."

You cut him short as he stood up to catch the helmet you whizzed at him, in which he caught gracefully in one hand.

"The only thing I want from you is the truth. As I said, it's now or never."

Although Lee was now becoming frustrated, he was more so worried because this was it. Judgement day. He knew he had to come clean or lose you for good, which he knew he still could either way.

He put the helmet on and sat on the bike behind you, which he basically just walked right over the back end to do, being the beautiful giant he was.

"Can...can I put my arm...around you?"

"Suit yourself."

As you fired up the bike, he slid his right arm around your waist, making you both pause for a moment at the feel of each other's touch. For you, the butterflies invaded your chest and attacked your heart as one seemed to remain underneath his hand. For Lee, he almost cried.

You turned on your 80's walkman radio that you had hooked on your belt and rode off. Lee cringed at the song that came on. Another sign of what was to come is the way he now looked at things, all thanks to you. Judgement Day by Five Finger Death Punch. Aside from the ominous coincidence, the sound of the music was kick ass to ride to.

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The speedy ride went on for about two miles, the wind blowing your jasmine scented hair into Lee's face as he closed his eyes and desperately inhaled you. He was quite impressed at how you handled the bike and the damp road. You were just as good at that as you were on the ice. Each curve you hugged forced Lee closer against you, driving the undeniable chemistry between you both to an all time high as he now had both of his hands clasped over your stomach, nice and snug. To you, you wondered if he was a bit afraid, having never ridden with you before or ever even rode a bike at all for all you knew, but you also figured that if he had any reservations about it, he wouldn't have hopped right on. To him, he gripped you so tightly for three reasons. To feel you and be close to you along with his instinct and desire to protect you. If for any reason the bike would go down, he would never let you go.

You veered off onto a secluded gravel drive that ran along an inlet of the bay and parked. Lee reluctantly let go of you and stood up, taking his helmet off as did you and then you walked off.

"This way."

Lee followed you through the multitude of trees down a narrow dirt path to where he stopped to view the lake that was visible in the nearby distance.

"I take it you know this place?" he asked as you stepped up onto a large rock and leaned against a tree.

"It's one of my safe havens I told you about, that I told you I would bring you to one day."

His head turned to you, his eyes filled with happiness that you trusted him enough to bring him to your special place.

"The one you and Jason came to?"

'Well, not this part. I found this area all on my own. The one I went to Jason with can be seen from the lookout deck just down the way. There's an old out of order train viaduct in the woods that runs over the river. I was always afraid to go up there because of the height. The drop is tremendous down to the rapid waters and I can't swim if you recall, but Jason always held on to me, assuring me the breath taking view would outweigh my fears and over time, he was right, I got used to it and now I can go by myself."

"I see." he smiled and then gazed at you. "Well, this place really beautiful and I am sure that one is too. I see what you mean. I told you someday if you let me, I will teach you to swim and over time, it will be like riding a bike..or ice skating. So uh, what's the story with the bike anyways? Where's your car?"

"At mom's, where the bike was stored. Jason got it for me. He taught me to ride and I...I haven't touched it since...he died."

Ugh, you wanted to tell him so bad that Jason was alive. Secrets were what got you both here in the first place. The past 24 hours held so many things Lee didn't know and you decided you better start somewhere before he found out another way just like you did about him and Ethan, so you kind of just blurted it out in a nutshell.

"I have to keep my car hidden from these bar thugs that are after Luke Jr. because he kicked their asses last night and then got in my car and they chased us."

"I'm sorry, what??"

"I...saw Orlando go into the pub and so I went in to see how he was doing since he has been sort of off the grid lately...and then he...saw his dad and took off after him. I followed him, because he had been drinking a lot and well, you know how he gets. It was a good thing that I did because he was carrying a hammer in his pocket and he confronted his dad. He was going to attack him, actually he tried to but I was able to confiscate the hammer and talk him down."

Lee stared at you for a moment, then he dropped them to the ground.

"Jesus." he whispered, lightly shaking his head.

"Is..is he alright? Are you alright?? What did his dad do?"

"He said some pretty awful things to Orlando and to me too and then he took off. Lee, my mom sold the Haunted Star...and Luke Sr. is the one who bought it. I found that out right after I saw you when I talked to my mom. He raved about it to my face, rubbing the salt in my wounds because he knew it was Jason's boat. He's going to ruin it, turn it back into a crime filled gambling ring, I just know it. And I'm sure Ethan will be right beside him."

"God, Jo, I'm so sorry. I know how much that boat meant to you with it belonging to your family....and I...so...how did Orlando's brother come into all of this?"

"Well, I went to take Orlando home and shortly after we got in my car, Luke came out of nowhere said we needed to go and insisted he drive and..."

"So you just let him drive your car that you let no one drive but you?"

"I let you drive it...and well, yeah, I had a few beers myself and honestly, it was for the best because apparently Luke had followed his dad to the bar to handle him after Landy's encounter with him and things turned ugly with these guys and then they came speeding after him which then turned into them chasing us until Luke was able to lose them. But now they know my car."

"My god Jo, you...you didn't think to call me?? I would have been right there. Orlando's my best friend and you're my....."

Lee paused and then walked off, making his way down to the inlet's lookout, a small wooden deck big enough for maybe three people, perched up on a sizeable rock embankment overlooking the water.

You sighed and then followed him, knowing you still had to tell him the about the aftermath at Orlando's place which made you feel nauseated. As he said, Orlando was his best friend so he deserved to know.

Lee briefly leaned on the metal railing and then turned to you when he heard you step up behind him.

"I'm sorry. It was late and raining and Luke was handling things just fine, well, for the time being anyways."

"What do you mean...anyways? Jo...what happened?"

"Honestly, I don't really know. I mean, we went back to Landy's and..."

"It's Landy now eh?"

"Lee, don't. Do you want to hear this or not?"

"K. Go ahead."

"Orlando..." you emphasized. "And I were in the kitchen talking. He was telling me some stuff about Luke and Luke heard some of it, which he didn't like and things got heated between them, like, Luke, he just snapped. They fought and then Luke put him in this choke hold and wouldn't let go. I ended up hitting him on the head something, which, he is fine by the way, but...I had to do it. But, even so, Orlando wasn't fine. He ended up collapsing and wasn't breathing and..."

"Jesus Christ! Is he alright????!"

"Yes, yes, Lee, he is ok now. Luke and I...we um...we performed CPR and had him breathing within roughly a minute...."

"You didn't think to call 911?? Fuck, what the fuck is wrong with Luke??"

"I was going to call but I couldn't find my phone and Luke said Landy would be dead before they got there, which he was right considering he wasn't breathing. He would have called if we couldn't get him back Lee."

"Wow, well Luke sure seems to know just what to do. An asshole and hero all in one night. I'm a doctor Jo, remember?? You still should have called them because they could have been on their way if you couldn't revive him, not to mention they could have shocked his heart. I could have tried to help as well. Do you think I would have cared what time it was or if it was raining Jo?? Seriously?" Lee reeled as he shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah I know Lee but I wasn't exactly thinking straight. I'm sorry. But at least Orlando is fine. I stayed the night to watch over him and Luke too. I hit him pretty hard, he was cut and bleeding and could have had a concus..."

"Well this just keeps getting better. Poor Luke. He tries to kill his brother and you were worried about HIM."

"Yeah Orlando said the same thing ok, but Luke feels terrible Lee and is going to do all he can to make it up to Landy. He's not Ethan."

"As he should feel terrible. How is he not like Ethan when he goes and does the same fucking thing and you...you defend him because he feels bad? If Ethan had shown remorse, would you have defended him too?? Tell me Jo... what started the fight?? What was it that Luke overheard? He don't just flip out like that for no reason."

"Of course I wouldn't have defended Ethan because it's fucking ETHAN! And as far as that fight, it's between Orlando and Luke so how about we get to the real reason we're here?"

"You're not telling me everything. I can feel it."

"Hello pot, meet kettle!! I have been upfront with you since day one about everything that affected us Lee, my deepest darkest secrets and even about things that didn't affect us and you can't even respect me enough to do the same."

"I respect you more than anyone in this world, more than anyone I have ever had respect for Jo. I love you, only you and you know I do. why can't the past be the in the past where it belongs??"

"Because it's not IN the past! It's right here, in our face because you won't admit what I already know. If none of it mattered, you would have told me the first night I met Ethan and then I wouldn't have felt like I do now, how YOU'VE made me feel! I will not be second, I will not share your heart."

"If you already KNOW, then why do I have to tell you??"

"Are you kidding me right now?? Because I want to hear you say it!! You promised you would tell me yesterday and you ran away with the lame excuse of accusing me of being unfaithful with my freaking landlord. I swear to god Lee, this is your last chance or I...am...gone and I will NOT come back. I know my worth thanks to bullshit like this and if I didn't love you so fucking much, I would have left a long time ago...but with that said, I am at the end of my rope, holding on by a mere thread, waiting, always waiting for you to catch me before I fall, and if you let me fall Lee....you will never be able to pull me back. I deserve to know the truth that you feel is so damn important to hide. I want to hear it from you and not my damn sister!!"

"Wait...whh..what??" he asked as his eyes were now beginning to glisten with tears. "What did she tell you?????"

"YOU tell me! You tell me now."

"Jo, baby I don't want to do it like this, please...please don't make me. I swear to god it doesn't matter, that's why I haven't told you. YOU are ALL that matters to me, YOU my Jo."

"Liar!" you cried and shoved him.

Lee froze, peering down at your telling eyes. You knew. He could see it. His hand rubbed over his mouth and then through his hair as he released a whimpering sigh through trembling lips.

"I....I'm not a liar...I'm...afraid."

"Afraid of losing me or...Ethan??? You can't have us both!"

Lee gently took your face in his hands, his tears now falling.

"I don't want him!!!! I want you baby, god I Love you Jo!! So fucking much I can't see straight. It's been 8 days without you and I feel like I'm losing my mind. Why...why can't you believe me?? You used to. I won't let you fall. I'm right here, I've got you. Please...stay with me."

"You really have to ask me why?? Because everything changed when Ethan came back. YOU changed. The secrets, the panic attacks, the fact that you wouldn't tell me the truth, the fact that you wouldn't make him go away!!! It's going to be longer than 8 days Lee...it will be FOREVER!" you cried and pushed his hands away. "You're the one who told me to breathe, and I did it. This, THIS is what I did it for?? Because now I can't breathe. I am torn between holding onto what you promised and accepting the reality of you not being able to deliver. I'm falling Lee."

His breathing began to race and became hard as he turned around, placing his hands on the railing and vigorously shaking it as he bellowed out a long garbled shout.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! I...I ca...I can't...I...breathe....I..."

Lee began holding his chest again, just like he did that day at the lake house when he had a full blown panic attack. You grabbed onto him as his legs became unstable.

"Lee??? Oh god...ok, ok...it's alright. Look at me baby, I'm right here, I'm right here. Hold on to me."

"Please...pl...please...don't...don...don't let..me fall. I'll...I'll t...tell you...just...t..take me..home."

"Lee, I don't think I should ride with you like this, you could fall off..."

"Take me home Jo!!!!!" he shouted as he stared off in panic, almost as if he were blinded by the attack.

You put his arm over your shoulder, securing it by holding his hand, then placed your other arm firmly around his waist and began to walk him back to the bike.

"I want you to lay your head on my shoulder and lock your arms clean around my waist and don't move, do you hear me?"

"Mmm..hmm..y...yes."

He did as you asked and after you got going, you secured your left arm over his so you could steer with your right and use the accelerator. You released him long enough to brake as you pulled up to the lake house and as soon as you stopped, he sprung off the bike, still in a panic and quickly stumbled his way inside before you could even catch up to him.

"Lee! Slow down!"

You raced in behind Lee to find him at the kitchen sink with his head under a stream of cold water, spurting out hard gasping breaths as his shaking hands clutched the faucet. You struggled frantically to free yourself of your coat and then grabbed a towel out of the laundry room.

"Lee, I'm right here." you assured him as you stroked his ice cold saturated hair. "Come on, the water, Lee it's freezing. Let me dry you off."

He remained leaning over the sink, his eyes planted shut and his mouth gaping and dripping water as you turned it off.

"Baby, stand up."

He did, eyes slitted open as you placed the towel over his head and dried him.

"God, I am so sorry. This is all my fault, I was too pushy and aggressive and selfish, letting my own feelings consume me. I had no right to treat you that way. So much has happened in the past 24 hours and I let it get to me, things that had nothing to do with this and..."

Lee yanked the towel away. "No...you had every right!" he snapped as he fought to get his jacket off, still gasping and panting, almost to the point of hyperventilation.

"Let me help y..."

"I got it!!" he snapped once again, giving his caught and twisted sleeve a powerful tug and he then let the coat drop to the ground, becoming more distressed and anxious that he couldn't stand still. In his continuing panic, he turned and staggered to the stairs.

"Lee, where are you going?? Wait..."

"Let me go. Just leave me alone." he ordered, pulling his arm from your hold and tripping his way up the stairs.

Your hand came to cover your mouth as you stood frozen with gaping eyes, not knowing what to do because he wouldn't let you help him. What you were feeling was indescribable. You shouldn't have pushed him so hard, giving him an ultimatum like that but you honestly didn't know what to do anymore.

Doing what he did best, you found his whiskey and poured a shot, then downed it as you stood alone in silence, listening for him and staring at the stairs, then your eyes glided back to the kitchen where you caught sight of something on the table. An envelope with your name written in huge letters...JO.

You picked it up to find some crunched up paper wrapped in a bowtie made out of the same material. Was this what he wanted to give you? It had your name on it, so you opened it. Inside was a silver chain necklace with a seashell shaped glass piece attached...and inside appeared to be the tiniest of scrolls tied in a red string.

You then opened the envelope.

"Jo, inside is my love for you...forever. Time in a bottle."

And then under his own words, he wrote the lyrics to the song "Time in a Bottle"

"If I could save time in a bottle The first thing that I'd like to do Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever If words could make wishes come true I'd save every day like a treasure, and then Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time To do the things you want to do once you find them

I've looked around enough to know That you're the one I want to go through time with

If I had a box just for wishes And dreams that had never come true The box would be empty Except for the memory of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time To do the things you want to do once you find them

I've looked around enough to know That you're the one I want to go through time with."

You fell into the chair, once again covering your mouth, this time to silence your crying. After about fifteen minutes, you couldn't take it anymore and made your way up the stairs to check on him, only to find him sitting quietly and perfectly still in the hallway on the floor against the wall, knees bent up, elbows propped on them and his hands clasped together as he rested his mouth against them.

"You...ok?" you softly asked and then slowly approached him.

Lee was finally relaxed and didn't move or say a word until you were standing in front of him. He finally stood up and when he did begin to speak, you let him, with no interruptions.

"It all happened hundreds of years ago to me, but in reality, it was 4 years ago, shortly after Jacob died. Ethan came for the funeral. He stayed for quite awhile and we hung out a lot. He was different then, at least I thought he was a good person. I had no idea what he was involved in, I just needed a friend. A real friend. Sure, I had Orlando but as you know, a doctor's life doesn't have much time for friends...and he didn't want to spend time with Ethan, understandably as we now know."

"We went to a lot of parties during my leave from work. My brother's parties. Drug filled parties where Ethan and I...it was more than the one time Jo. It was many. He...he told me he loved me about a month later and during one of our drug induced nights....I told him I loved him too. I had no idea what I was doing. I was so lost and he was there. Giving me the love I was deprived of. Keeping me medicated to eventually get what he wanted, of course I didn't realize that then. Then one night, he...asked me to marry him and I stupidly accepted, although at the time, I thought it was what I wanted. We flew to Vegas, just me and him. My nerves were on overload. I...I didn't want to go through with it. It didn't feel right when I was sober. Nothing ever did."

"He coaxed me into getting high, which didn't take much to do because I was dope sick and then...there I was, higher than Mt. Everest, saying I do. We went out and partied more to celebrate, gambling our asses off. Later that night, I was coming down from my high and more clear headed. Realizing what I had done, I freaked out and wanted to leave. I told him we needed to get an annulment or however that works, because I wasn't in my right mind. I told him i didn't want to do this with him anymore. It was like I had some sort of epiphany. In my panic of packing my things, he made me a drink. A drink I had no idea was laced with, well...it was roofied. I figured it out later that it was his plan to consummate the marriage to make it more difficult to dissolve...He ummm...."

Lee became quiet and teary eyed as his head lowered, not wanting to look at you.

"Jesus...Lee...did he....force himself on you??"

His eyes slowly rolled up to yours as a tear fell.

"I couldn't prove anything, nor did I want to. I didn't want anyone to know about any of what we did. I told myself that Ethan too, was out of his mind on the drugs and didn't mean to do what he did and I just wanted to forget it all ever happened. We flew back the next day and never spoke of it. I then checked myself into rehab for 90 days without his knowledge and when he found out, I refused his visits and calls. After I got out, I filed for a simple annulment to erase it all, but it was not granted. In Massachusetts, you have to have solid clear proof of your claims and...I had none to show we were both incompetent due to impairment and even if I had proof of what he did to me, I sure as hell wasn't going to make that public and of course without proof, the marriage would have been considered consummated, so...I filed for divorce which I was able to do since I had lived here more than a year. I claimed irreconcilable differences just to be simple and after that, I didn't see him for another year. He had been back and forth between the U.K. and Boston and when I saw him again, I had then forgiven him by blaming it all on the drugs for his actions as well as my own and we remained good friends, still hanging out from time to time but that was all it was, I swear it Jo. I knew what I had felt for Ethan was never real and the moment I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt was when you came into my life and let me know what love really was, my lady strange. I never felt this way for him, or for anyone, ever. That's how I knew it was real this time. I never loved him Jo....I love you."

Lee's voice choked up when he said those last three words to you. His tear stained eyes never once blinked nor did they move and the way he gazed in your eyes as he said it, demolished your heart into a million pieces as if a wrecking ball had swung right in. You now felt like the biggest fool in the world for ever doubting his love for you, and the guilt, it was unbearable, for what you had believed about him couldn't have been further from the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God.

"I know that you do." you whispered with a whimper.

"I...my god Lee...what have I done? Can...you ever..forgive me? For ever doubting you. You told me over and over you felt nothing for him and I let all of my insecurities and everyone else make me doubt your love when I didn't even know the half of what really happened. And now...I...I forced you...I caused all of this...I hurt you so much just now. I..I feel like such fucking scum. I..I listened to my sister and Ethan and even Luke..."

"You didn't know because I kept it from you, that's not your fault. It's mine Jo. There's nothing to forgive sweet girl. God I should have told you so long ago and saved all of your justifiable doubts. Jo, if anyone is scum, it's Ethan. And I'm disgusted with myself for it taking this long for me to open my eyes. I now know he knew exactly what he was doing that night and that he's bat shit crazy on top of it."

"Lee...why. Why were you so afraid baby?? Why did you ever think I would leave you because of it?? You did nothing wrong. Even after everything, you told me the truth and...I'm still here Lee. I can't imagine a world without you."

"For that exact reason. I was afraid because I didn't think you would believe me and I thought I would lose you. And I thought that I had. This entire week, all I have thought about is the last time we made love and how you were just gone when I awoke. I can't even begin to describe to you what that did to me and then I see you a week later and you smelled like cologne. God, I am so sorry for overreacting."

"I know, I got your texts last night." you told him with a smile. "I need you to know, in case you're wondering about me staying at Orlando's too...it was merely to watch over him."

"Jo, I'm not mad about that. My god, you saved his life. If anything baby, I'm so grateful."

"But I...I have to tell you something because I won't keep things from you. I...I did sleep in his bed..BUT...that's all I did...sleep. WITH clothes on. Orlando had fallen asleep and when I came to check on him, I was so exhausted that I ended up falling asleep too. I was just afraid he was going to stop breathing again and..."

"Shhh. It's ok. I believe you and I understand. I am glad you were there for him. Luke, well...that's another story. He's a great friend but...let me just say...I don't trust him around you. I know his track record."

"Yeah umm, I kinda picked up on that and even Orlando told me some things. Lee...he came by my mom's today. I guess he followed me from Orlando's to make sure I got there ok since I was in my car. I...I just wanted you to know that."

"Yeah, I did catch that when you said you heard things from your sister...and...Luke? What the hell did they tell you Jo?"

"It was Megan really. Luke, it's what he didn't say actually. He wouldn't verify what she said, saying it wasn't his story to tell and I guess that only made my thoughts worse. She...she told me that you and Ethan had been in love and married and that was all she said. Obviously Ethan has told her about it. God, I never should have let her get to me like that! I mean, I was literally so stressed out today, I began to panic and got a bloody nose too, can you believe that? I guess I can at least give Luke credit for helping me with that because honestly, if he hadn't been there, I would have had an attack like you did AND I would have strangled Megan, which he stopped me from doing. Oh...and I formally met Tracy too. Boy isn't she just a peach?"

Lee's face cringed about Tracy. "Ohhh, yeah. I should have warned you about her. Tracy's just Tracy, not more I can say on that. After being married to Luke Sr, can't say I blame her too much but with that said, I'll never let her disrespect you. As much as I would rather it had been me to be there for you, I'm glad Luke helped you out, but just be careful. He's trouble as you can see. It follows him and now it follows you because of him and well... it seems like Megs has finally met her soulmate...and you know what Jo? I just don't give a fuck about the two of them anymore. Can we just try and move on together and just leave them in the dust where they belong? They can't touch us. No one can because we're still here through all of the bullshit. I know I didn't take more needed steps to rid of Ethan, but I will do it now. And whoever these bar creeps are, I'll protect you. That is...if you still want forever with me..and even if you don't, I will still do it. I can't say it enough. I love you so damn much Jo March."

You took his hands into yours. "You're all I want. Life just means nothing without you. I know you you love me and I love you. Nothing will ever change that. It's just that forever word....it scares me. Something always interferes every time we are happy and I've already had a glimpse of life without you. I don't want to feel that again."

Lee stroked the back of his fingers down your cheek, then took your hand and guided you to the small window seat in the hall.

Once you both sat down, he repeated the stroking gesture to your cheek with a soft smile.

"As you said, we're still here. We've made it through so much, we'll make it through anything else thrown at us. Everything is out in the open now. Ethan can't hurt us anymore. We won't let him or anyone else. Jo...I'm in this for the long haul. We can do this forever thing and be scared together. You're the one I want to go through time with. You're stuck with me babe."

His grin was so beautiful. He...was so beautiful.

"I...I found your gift. I hope it's ok that I opened it? It's so beautiful Lee and the most heartfelt gift I have ever been given."

"Of course it's ok, it's for you. The little scroll inside...it's the word forever...written by you that you left me last week. I had it reduced and then I put it all together."

"Wait...YOU made it?? Oh my god...I..I don't even know what to say."

"Don't say anything. For god's sake, just kiss me already."

You almost cried when your lips met his. "I've missed you so bad." you whispered in between kisses and then took his mouth again. How could he be so perfect, feel so perfect. You could kiss his supple lips....forever.

"What do you say we turn off the world and you stay with me tonight? I'll make you dinner and we can have some wine, dance even? I just want to show you in every possible way what you mean to me and I have so much to make up to you."

"Lee, if anyone has things to make up for, it's me. And...I need to start with something else you don't know."

You had made up your mind. You would not keep Jason's secret and you knew Lee would never betray your confidence. It was simple really. You loved your brother immensely...but you loved Lee more.

Lee tilted his head, his eyes sparkling, attentive and curious.

"Lee....Jason's alive."

@redeemer46

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#lee pace #lee pace fanfiction #code blue #love stories #dark fiction #dark stories #doctors #angst #luke evans #luke evans fanfiction #jolee

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dufrau · 4 months

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For the ask game: 9 and 36 and my question for 36 is: what is your favorite movie? (I have to ask, if I don't ask... you don't wanna know)

9. What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

Oh wow. I guess, just... building a life I am happy with. Obviously a lot of that is luck, let's be real. But, surrounding myself with the kind of people i want to get old with. Finding work that is fulfilling to me, and hobbies that keep me interested. Building sturdy boundaries and having people respect them. I don't know. It's not really one thing. But it feels big when I think about being young and not knowing what my life would look like. It feels like a huge accomplishment.

Bonus: What is my favorite movie?

The silly answer that is also probably the real answer is this terrible horror movie from the 90s called either Spectre or House of the Damned depending where you're looking for it, starring Alexandra Paul from Baywatch. It's incredibly bad in so many wonderful ways. I first saw it in high school when me and my friends used to just go to Blockbuster and rent random shit we had never heard of, and we still quote this movie to each other some 20+ years later.

Actual good movies though? I really love Alien. I think it's a perfect movie. Silence of the Lambs, obviously some aspects of it have aged like hot garbage but it's still such a good movie. Tommy Boy is very stupid but I will watch it any time any place. I'm also weirdly into Gangs of New York even though its not an amazing movie, but for some reason when I'm sick I love to watch it???

(questions)

#asks #question game

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iracarterart · 18 days

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questions I think would be fun to be asked - from my Tumblr feed

01. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are? growing up in the South, my parents, living in CA since 1976

02. show us a picture of your handwriting? nope, but it's pretty nice handwriting

03. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of? Louis Malle's Phantom India, It's a Wonderful Life, Bringing Up Baby

04. what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends? none comes to mind

05. what made you start your blog? desire for global fame

06. what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator? no worst, being a creator is always good

07. what scares you the most and why? irrational fear of harm coming to loved ones

08. any reacquiring (recurring?) dreams? being back in college

09. tell a story about your childhood - nope

10. would you say you’re an emotional person? very

11. what do you consider to be romance? too complicated to discuss here

12. what’s some good advice you want to share? save part of what you earn

13. what are you doing right now? typing on a computer

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do? NA

15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”? northern California

16. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? more disciplined

17. name 3 things that make you happy - wife, family, friends

18. do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens? no

19. favourite thing about the day? coffee

20. favourite things about the night? reading in bed

21. are you a spiritual person? yes

22. say 3 things about someone you love - beautiful, encouraging, makes our life wonderful

23. say 3 things about someone you hate - don't hate anybody

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for? stopped making as many stupid mistakes

25. fave season and why? winter, life-giving rains

26. fave colour and why? blue, who knows why

27. any nicknames? from my brother Bruce, the I-man

28. do you collect anything? so many things

29. what do you do when you’re sad? make art, play music

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier? music

31. are you messy or organised? about 60-65% messy

32. how many tabs do you have open right now? 17

33. any hobbies? so many

34. any pet peeves? so many

35. do you trust easily? hmmm, I dunno

36. are you an open book or do you have walls up? both

37. share a secret - no thanks

38. fave song at the moment? Cripple Creek-Hobart Smith

39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why? The day I am obsessed with a youtuber will be a cold day in Hell

40. any bad habits?I used to have some really bad habits

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apocalypticavolition · 1 year

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Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World! Chapter 36: Web of the Pattern

Pictured, me left, you right. If you don't like spoilers for the whole Wheel of Time series, there's no need to threaten to stab me or whatever. You can just... go somewhere else. Read the books. Watch the show. Get spoiled on a completely different website because boy howdy will the wiki do that to anyone who is even a little behind. If you do like spoilers, also maybe please put the sword down.

This chapter gives us the leaves on the vine chapter icon. As I said back when it was introduced, it's an icon that's often associated with the Ogier, and guess who's being introduced in this chapter? That's right. Hooray!

He kept the story simple, and he kept Trollocs and Fades out of it. When somebody offered help, it would not do to tell them it was all about fables. But he did not think it was fair to understate the danger, either, not fair to pull someone in when they had no idea what they were getting into.

I'm sure that Rand's making the right call here because fate and all, but I do wonder if Gill wouldn't have believed him about Trollocs and Fades all the same. If anything, his connections to Thom and general good-natured practicality might lead him to figuring out the details well before Rand does in the main timeline.

They say she has a way of feeling things, what’s happened, what’s going to happen. They say she can cut right through to what a man wants to hide.

Either this is entirely undeserved reputation and more of the general theme of falsehoods spreading about in place of the truth (her Foretelling being morphed into being a lie detector), or she actually was this canny once and Fain warps it right out of her during his visit. Either way, it's a shame she wasn't actually all she was cracked up to be, she could have been really good.

“All these people, and any of them could be Darkfriends. Master Gill promised to help us awfully quick. What kind of man just shrugs off Aes Sedai and Darkfriends? It isn’t natural. Any decent person would tell us to get out, or . . . or . . . or something.”

Finally, some delightful paranoia from Mat. Dagger's kicking in properly. Maybe it's strengthened by all the people around? Maybe not, but either way, it's very good work on the dagger's part. As soon as someone offers their approval, they're a bad guy because no good person could approve. Thank goodness Moiraine's gonna cure him soon.

The dark-eyed girl had a tendency to twist her skirt and giggle whenever she looked at Rand. She was pretty, but he knew if he said anything to her he would just make a fool of himself. She made him wish he had Perrin’s way with girls; he was glad when she left.

Rand keeps coming back to Perrin as the lady killer and I'm sure that most of it is just that Mat's right there and therefore too obviously not good with girls for Rand's delusions, but I do so wonder what evidence Rand has for his assumption. Did Perrin and Alexandra DeWit- I mean, Laila Dearn get a little flirty once before they decided not to date? Did they almost hold hands or something? What is Rand's standard of measurement here?

Rand hung his things up, watching Mat’s back. He thought Mat had his hand under his coat, clutching that dagger again.

"Dammit man, wait until I'm out of the room or asleep or something!"

Only a few had wooden covers. His eyes gobbled up the titles, picking out old favorites. The Travels of Jain Farstrider. The Essays of Willim of Maneches. His breath caught at the sight of a leatherbound copy of Voyages Among the Sea Folk.Tam had always wanted to read that.

It's so sweet that even here and now Rand is thinking about his dad's interests and hobbies.

It's very nice that we only meet one of these authors, though Willim of Maneches sounds like an interesting guy maybe. He's a philosopher who probably wasn't a Darkfriend, at least! I feel like he might be a reference to some real life guy, but I'm not sure who.

I would not be at all surprised if every detail in Voyages was a complete lie.

“So few of you remember us. It’s our own fault, I suppose. Not many of us have gone out among men since the Shadow fell on the Ways. That’s . . . oh, six generations, now. Right after the War of the Hundred Years, it was.”

Loial! Loial! LOIAL!

Also, if his use of "generations" is anything like how modern humans use the term (to refer to a cohort of people born within 20 years of each other), then Ogier live just slightly longer than the most powerful channelers do.

But anyway, fuck Gill I have a new favorite now! Loial!

My first day in Caemlyn, I could not believe the uproar. Children cried, and women screamed, and a mob chased me all the way across the city, waving clubs and knives and torches, and shouting, ‘Trolloc!’ I’m afraid I was almost beginning to get a little upset. There’s no telling what would have happened if a party of the Queen’s Guards hadn’t come along.

And this folks is why the people of Caemlyn deserve everything that's coming for them, including the unnatural winter that's already here.

“Well, as to that, now. You see, the Stump had not been meeting very long, not even a year, but I could tell from what I heard that by the time they reached a decision I would be old enough to go without their permission. I am afraid they’ll say I put a long handle on my axe, but I just . . . left. The Elders always said I was too hotheaded, and I fear I’ve proven them right. I wonder if they have realized I’m gone, yet? But I had to go.”

I love how Loial is having his own heroic adventure that has nothing to do with all of the major drama in the world. So many characters in this series absolutely could carry their own book and with Loial being in the POV spotlight so consistently we can get a good feel for how it would all play out from his own perspective in a way that's harder for some like Bayle Domon who are awesome but dip in and out more frequently. It's this aspect that I live for in epic fantasy.

You cannot make the land go against itself. Not for long; the land will rebel. You must shape the vision to the land, not the land to the vision. In every grove was planted every tree that would grow and thrive in that place, each balanced against the next, each placed to complement the others, for the best growing, of course, but also so that the balance would sing in the eye and the heart.

Points to Jordan for so effortlessly critiquing everything about modern agriculture and environmental policies so succinctly. I know that his vision of the end of the First Age was nuclear warfare (which was not so unrealistic when he got started on the series), but I can't help but wonder if climate change would have been a better aspect to focus on - both as a cause, and as something the AoL had to build itself to be so strongly against. The arrival of the Ogier being the miracle that spared humankind from complete extinction at the dawn of the second age would be quite appropriate and it's not even like the canonical AoL isn't pretty greenpunky...

Try as you will—and I have read that the Ogier who built those cities truly did try—you cannot make stone live.

With history becoming legend and all that, is it terrible of me to imagine the historical Ogier desperately trying to make robots as a last ditch effort to forestall the technological collapse of the Breaking? The image is hilarious.

But I must go back, eventually. This world is yours, yours and your kind’s. The stedding are mine.

Okay now that I've talked about my own brand of crazy, let's all appreciate how Jordan told us outright here that Ogiers are aliens. There's no metaphor here, the Ogier are from a whole extra dimension and the stedding are the places where they've made their world overlap with ours (and overwrite? or perhaps in Ogierhome there's a bunch of awful regions that any natives left behind avoid because there's just something weird about them?).

“Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the Last Day.”

I recommend everyone adapt this as their personal mantra, it's very empowering.

And good for you for being so multicultural Loial. Shame that it's falling on deaf ears.

Rand opened his mouth to say that they had come to see the false Dragon—and he could not say it. Perhaps it was because Loial acted as if he were no older than Rand, ninety years old or no ninety years old. Maybe for an Ogier ninety years was not any older than he was.

Loial is such an adorable and wonderful person that when he's in a room with the strongest ta'veren of all time, it's the ta'veren who finds himself saying things he never thought he'd say.

Rand nodded. “I could live on the farm or in Emond’s Field, and that would be a small change. If I wanted to be a king, though. . . .”

Poor dumb Rand has got it completely backwards.

Artur Hawkwing was ta’veren. So was Lews Therin Kinslayer, for that matter, I suppose.

You know, Mr. Jordan, this would have been a perfect opportunity to mention Mabriam en Shereed, the fifth ta'veren we know about (since Lews and Rand shouldn't count as separate) and the only woman. There's a lot we could say about whether or not Egwene or Nynaeve should have been ta'veren as well and it's really one of the least shocking changes the TV show made, but it's very noticeable that in a world that should be gender equal it's mostly the dudes we hear about being special. Ah well, maybe Birgitte is normally a ta'veren when she incarnates and just wasn't this time around because of how weird circumstances were.

“Will you at least talk with me sometimes?” Loial sighed, a bass rumble. “And perhaps play a game of stones? I have not had anyone to talk to in days, except good Master Gill, and he is busy most of the time. The cook seems to run him unmercifully. Perhaps she really owns the inn?”

Jordan really likes this trope too, of the men theoretically being in charge but the women really being in charge. He does at least subvert it a little later on with Lan and Nynaeve's marriage, which is the same dynamic but different, but I feel like his upbringing led him to internalize a very unstable and unlikely dynamic as some sort of universal.

Oh well, at least we have a reference to the game of stones, which is the real life game Go (or very close to it) and has been mentioned before but not by Loial so who cares? Loial is the sweetest boy and all of his interests are way cooler than Rand's road trip drama.

Sadly, instead of spending the next two chapters analyzing them in detail, we'll be cutting to some other POVs as we resolve the situation that the other non-Loials are in. See you then!

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #rand al'thor #basel gill #mat cauthon #loial

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mysticdragon3md3 · 2 years

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#figure collecting #good smile company #convention booths #wonfes2023winter #wonfes #wonder festival 2023 winter #WonHobby36 #wonhobby #wonderful hobby life for you 36 #wonderful hobby life for you #WHL4U36 #WHL4U

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readmanybooks · 4 months

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A warm welcome & Introduction

Dear reader,

welcome to 'ReadManyBooks' Araya's View~!

In this blog I will mainly discuss reviews, recommendations, and simply share my thoughts on books. (Who would've thought- HA!)

Yeah, no... I simply need an outlet to share with people. My body contains a lot of feelings, thoughts and emotions about certain things and sharing this with friends who aren't that much into reading, which became a kind of a problem felt like trying to explain to an IT person, what brush you would use for doing your make-up. Or something similar to that, you feel me? So here I am on my balcony, throwing my thoughts left and right on how to do a proper introduction to so many random strangers, thinking of what could catch your interest to keep you here, captivated, locked in. With me. Alone. I mean we might share an interest here and there and that is probably why you even started reading this specific post in general, right? :')

Speaking of interest...

Reading has been on my hobby list for many, many years. By the age of 12, I read the book series 'The Faerie Path' by Allan Frewin Jones. It had me fully embracing and day dreaming of growing my own pair of wings and escaping the mortal life. It brought me into worlds and perspectives to life with someone else's view and wishing me to be there. I remember making 'Looking for Alaska' by John Green, my whole personality. (It was the first book I read in 7 hours without any breaks and lots and lots of tears.)

Just as I was fully diving into the endless depths of books, video games took a big toll on me. Once I got my computer set up into my room, and wasn't restricted to play hours anymore, I had become a gamer and after school hours, it has been more than 8 hours that I spent regularly in front of the flat screen. Playing the Sims or League of Legends with online friends I had made over the years.

Things were still the same until mid January 2024. At this point not only have I suffered from chronic migraines, but I also got plagued by the thought of sitting in front of the computer feeling useless and losing myself in games, like my so-called father. Guessing from how I talk about him, you should now know it is not the greatest connection that I maintain. But I made that decision and found my home back in my books. February started and I turned 25. Time flies. Yikes.

I set up a GoodReads Account, ordered way too many books and a kindle by the end of march. That I now came to the point, I wanna share all of this with you. Therefore I am writing this post hoping it will reach the right people to connect with.

My reading journey, began with Abby Jimenez's 'Yours Truly', sadly it didn't get into this year's reading challenge. It is not much not lost to be honest, but it makes me quite sad, that I started that series with book 2 instead of book 1. (I will still read book 1 and 3 in the future and review it, without book 2.)

I did some buddy readings with What.The.Book which I hope will also conclude into a featured review, from the both of us, when we comeback with buddy readings. Her Instagram page already has been a continuously book review page. So feel free, to check out to see what she has been up to.

For myself I have been following Leijla for quite a while, before reaching out and starting reading with her and gaining a wonderful friend. Books that we read were the full series of Pip's & Ravi's Crime thriller, 'A good girls guide to murder', 'Good Girl, Bad Blood' & 'As Good As Dead' by Holly Jackson and the first book 'Emily Wildes's Encyclopedia of Faeries' a novel by Heather Fawcett. We will continue the adventures of Emily in September. So be excited of what is to come. :) For myself, I am currently (1/6/24) 30 Books into my 50 Books reading Challenge of 2024. By mid March I was already at 20 Books in and I had to expand the goal for this year. There is no denying in not doing it again. I stopped the time for fun, and need 48mins and 36 seconds for 50 pages, without any breaks and interruptions. I wouldn't call myself a fast reader, but I read many books, because of a lot of free time that I have. I read at least one book on my kindle and 2 physical books.

My current ones are:

'The Housemaid' by Freida McFadden a Mystery Thriller following ex-felon Millie in her new job as a Housemaid, and figuring out her work life along her 'crazy' Employer Nina Winchester. Wondering what she has to bring to the story and what is behind people's talk about Nina.

'A Court of Mist and Fury' by Sarah J. Maas The second book of the Fae Romantasy 'ACOTAR' (A court of thorns and roses) (A mix between Romance & Fantasy), where Feyre, learns more about the politics and people of Prythian, with a soul of mortals and a immortal body.

'The Age of Magical Overthinking' by Amanda Montell Notes on Modern Irrationality. How ones internal thoughts can have an affect on unrelated events.

I will write a book review on 'A court of thorns and roses' shortly and follow up with the ones that I continue reading. But for a start this introduction hopefully will do. :) Will see you soon in the next post! Yours Truly, Araya.

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nancydrewwouldnever · 2 years

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NYT Magazine - March 2018

“Chris Evans Comes Back Down to Earth”

March 22, 2018

Chris Evans has a theory about tap dancing. “Tap is waiting to have its day,” he said one recent afternoon, sitting in a TriBeCa hotel clubhouse around the corner from an apartment he’s been renting since last month. Mr. Evans, or Captain America, as he’s been known in omnipresent Marvel movies for the better part of a decade, tapped as a child and still has sincere reverence for the form. His theory is that tap dancing today, like competitive hip-hop dancing in the early 2000s, is generally undervalued and ripe for a comeback.

“If you walk down the street and you see someone tapping,” you stop in your tracks, he said, using an unprintable word, “because it’s awesome.”

Twice a week since he’s been living in New York, Mr. Evans, who ordinarily splits his time between his native Boston and Los Angeles, has taken refuge in tap, clearing his mind and working up a sweat in private lessons taught by a friend. The lessons aren’t preparation for any role in particular, although Mr. Evans is hard at work on a pivotal one: his Broadway debut, as a charming but manipulative cop in Kenneth Lonergan’s "Lobby Hero" which is now in previews and opens March 26 at the Helen Hayes Theater.

The dancing, rather, is just a low-pressure new hobby (“It makes me feel like I’m a part of the music,” Mr. Evans said.) Along with the play, and the move to a new city, it’s one component in an ad hoc but inevitable process — not quite a rebirth, more like a re-orientation — designed to help the 36-year-old actor answer a nagging question: What do you do with your life after walking away from the role of a lifetime?

Since 2011, the year “Captain America: The First Avenger” was released, Mr. Evans’s face (and torso, and biceps) has signified a marketable mix of principled strength and rank-and-file virtue as reliably as any in Hollywood. He was a working-class revolutionary in the dystopic thriller “Snowpiercer,” a stoic defender of the public school system in the indie family drama “Gifted,” a cunning spy who risks everything to save a persecuted minority in the soon-to-be-released “The Red Sea Diving Resort.”

And then there are the Avengers movies, in which the nobility of Mr. Evans’s character is so unimpeachable that entire plotlines turn on the ticks of his moral compass. In the TriBeCa lounge, Mr. Evans volunteered his own stereotype: “Taciturn men who are leaders, selfless and magnanimous.”

Last year, he filmed back-to-back the final two Marvel movies for which he is under contract — “Avengers: Infinity War,” due in April, and a sequel planned for next year. For now, he has no plans to return to the franchise (“You want to get off the train before they push you off,” he said), and expects that planned reshoots in the fall will mark the end of his tenure in the familiar red, white and blue super suit.

It was in the midst of shooting “Infinity War” that Mr. Evans signed on for “Lobby Hero.” Also starring Michael Cera, Brian Tyree Henry and Bel Powley, it inaugurates the nonprofit Second Stage Theater’s recently remodeled Broadway venue. The choice will give those wondering about Mr. Evans’s frame of mind plenty to chew on: His character, known only as Bill, is essentially a narcissistic creep, with a vision of protecting the innocent that lifts a warped mirror to the actor’s usual procession of do-gooders.

The play’s director, Trip Cullman, sent the script to Mr. Evans betting that the potential to subvert his image would be too enticing to pass up.

“I had this inkling that he may not have had the opportunity to show what he can really do as an actor,” Mr. Cullman said. “A lot of actors are afraid to play someone unlikable, but I think he really has an egoless desire to serve the work.”

Though “Lobby Hero” is his Broadway debut, Mr. Evans is not a total stranger to the theater. He grew up in Sudbury, Mass., outside of Boston, in a family of performers: His mother was a dancer who later ran a children’s theater, his elder sister Carly studied drama at New York University and his younger brother Scott is a television actor who recently appeared on the Netflix comedy “Grace and Frankie.”

In high school, Mr. Evans balanced wrestling and lacrosse practice with Shakespeare, and was voted “most theatrical” after appearing in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and “The Winter’s Tale.” The summer before his senior year, he moved to New York to intern for a casting company and went back to Sudbury with his first agent. By graduation, he’d landed a role on television, as one of three boys in a former all-girls’ school on the short-lived Fox drama “Opposite Sex.”

He spent the next several years playing a series of clean-cut hunks with an ambivalent relationship to their shirts: There was the shirtless jock in “Not Another Teen Movie,” the shirtless musician in “What’s Your Number?” and the shirtless flame-throwing superhero in two “Fantastic Four” movies, which put him in Marvel’s orbit.

In conversation, Mr. Evans is more thoughtful and grounded than his filmography might suggest. He is animated by the challenge of playing against type, but has no regrets over his previous roles and surprisingly little anxiety about future prospects.

“I used to have thoughts of wanting to climb to the top of something, or wanting to be somebody,” he said. “But when you get the thing that you think you want and then you wake up and realize that you still have pockets of sadness, and that your struggle will reinvent itself, you stop chasing after those things and it’s liberating, because you realize that right here, right now, is exactly all I need.”

Mr. Evans was wearing the urban camouflage of a black NASA baseball cap with a cuffed brim pulled low. At around 6 feet tall, he is much less physically imposing in person than he appears onscreen, with the unassuming athleticism of the friend you forget does CrossFit until beach season comes around.

For the play, he recently grew a formidable mustache — a mighty rust-flecked horseshoe — and gained a super power of a different sort. “People don’t recognize me at all,” he said. “I can look them right in the eye — it’s like I’m invisible.”

“Lobby Hero,” which ran Off Broadway in 2001, follows several nights in the lives of four workers on the graveyard shift who are stratified by professional and social class. A pair of male security guards, one black and one white, have a series of run-ins with a swaggering cop and his young female partner in the lobby of a nondescript Manhattan apartment building.

A queasy drama, replete with abuses of power and sexual coercion, unfolds between the male officer, played by Mr. Evans, and his partner Dawn (Ms. Powley). In the #MeToo era, when sensitivities to the plight of women in male-dominated institutions are especially raw, Mr. Evans’s scenes add live wires to the play’s emotional and political circuitry.

In an interview, Mr. Lonergan, the playwright, dismissed the notion that he had been prescient 17 years ago. (He has since gone on to a successful film career, writing and directing “Manchester by the Sea” most recently.) The play’s fresh resonance, he said, was an indictment of how little has changed in society.

“This isn’t new,” Mr. Lonergan said. “Anyone who’s shocked by these issues — I don’t know where they’ve been.”

Mr. Cullman, the director, said he hoped “Lobby Hero” would further “expose toxic masculinity.”

“Kenny has given voice to Dawn’s predicament in such a compassionate and powerful way,” he said.

Mr. Evans’s newfound appetite for morally challenged characters has already been tested by Broadway’s eight-show-a-week routine. Two weeks into previews for “Lobby Hero,” he said it had felt more like two months.

But he’s prepared for the part with the fervor of the newly indoctrinated. Mr. Evans’s character is charismatic and often funny, and the actor devoted much of his rehearsal time to exploring how a man who is well liked can shade into reprehensible.

“He has the right instrument to bring the character to life,” said Mr. Cera, who worked with Mr. Evans on the 2010 film “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.”

Mr. Cera pointed to one scene in which Bill threatens his partner. “The words on the page are menacing, but Chris made the choice to deliver them as if he himself is spinning out, which is much more frightening,” he said. “It reduced Bel to tears one night because it was so unexpected.”

The role has unexpectedly submerged Mr. Evans in questions of gender inequality and the distribution of power just as those same questions are roiling his industry.

The actor, who said he didn’t base his performance on anyone in particular (“It’s awful to admit, but I know plenty of guys who fit this mold”), has been studying how to better conduct himself as an ally to women in his profession.

One book he found eye-opening was Rebecca Solnit’s “The Mother of All Questions.” Mr. Evans read it while dating the actress Jenny Slate (their on-again, off-again relationship, beloved by the internet, recently ended) and decided that he needed to listen more and speak less.

“The hardest thing to reconcile is that just because you have good intentions, doesn’t mean it’s your time to have a voice,” he said.

As has become the norm for star-driven plays on Broadway, “Lobby Hero” has a limited run, through May 13. And while the show is as substantial a leap as any Mr. Evans has made professionally, it remains a kind of riff on his existing résumé. When it’s over, he’ll discover what it really means to be a film actor with Captain America’s face (and bank account), but without the job.

The last time he experienced anything similar was in 2016, when he took a year off from acting after wrapping the third Captain America film. Mr. Evans spent the time remodeling his house in Boston and bonding with his family. He visited his mother or sister every other day and marked the seasons with his nieces and nephews — apple picking, pumpkin carving, decorating a Christmas tree. He raised an adopted puppy — a regal mixed breed named Dodger — and became a regular at his local grocery store.

Mr. Evans said it was those slice-of-life domestic moments, rather than notions of any particular career path, that have most influenced his vision board.

“When I think about the times that I’m happiest, it’s not on a movie set,” he said, adding that he no longer wishes to make more than one film per year. “I’ve stopped thinking about my trajectory, or my oeuvre, or whatever pretentious word you want to use. I’m just following whatever I feel creatively hungry for.”

He wants to direct (his directorial debut “Before We Go” screened at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2014) and to start a family of his own. And, when he’s had his fill of tap dancing, he envisions many more hobbies, including sculpting and carpentry.

“I’m not afraid to take my foot off the gas,” he said. ”If someone said tomorrow, ‘You’re done, you can’t do anything else,’ I’d be O.K.”

For all those who couldn't read it through the NYT link.

#interview #2018 #lobby hero #NYT Magazine interview #chris evans

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