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drgnflyteabox · 4 months ago

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red ochre [5]

series masterlist previous || part five -> kermes || part six -> madder

> summary: big nun, little nun > tags/warnings: guilt, religious / moral turmoil, stockholm syndrome, child abuse (past), scars, simon returns, corruption (past), misogyny (past), whipping (past), blood, suffering (past mostly), power imbalance, freeze response (past), guilt, dissociation, dom/sub dynamics, we're learning consent (kinda? eeh), violent imagery, dubcon/noncon, vaginal fingering, choking, throat grab

When Johnny asks how it felt to go from there – the convent, you think he means – to here, you can only describe it as dunking your hands into ice water.

Shocking, painful, and prickling all over.

He only says hm, and moves on. His face is pensive. You don’t tell him that sometimes, you wake up and aren’t in the water anymore.

Even in prayer, you hadn’t thought as much as you had since you’d been taken. Hadn’t worried as much. Teachings from adults since youth had told you that everybody was inherently sinful, even children.

So why is the community around you so happy without God? They have their own, you know this, but the multitude of them and their roles in divine hierarchy aren’t necessarily about absolute power.

There are woman-Gods, Gods without designations, Gods for the earth and the children and unions between people. You find it hard to continue calling them heretics, devils, when they’re really just people. Different, yes, strange and incomprehensible, but people nonetheless.

Heathens, you try to think. Heathens, devils. They took you

You wonder when the last time you thought of yourself as just a person was, when you weren’t a thing set within a rigid mold, beaten down in more ways than one.

On the eve of Simon's return you catch Johnny doing something secretive. He's hunched over the table, the tip of his tongue stuck out of his mouth in concentration. The soft sound of scraping, of wood gently knocking is all you can hear over the fire.

“What's that?” you ask, when your curiosity gets the best of you.

Johnny turns, one eye squinted, the every picture of concentration. He holds up a carved figure – a woman, it looks like. Ah, it’s you. Though hard to tell, the woman wears a veil and sits on a chair, hunched.

Your veil. You’d nearly forgotten what it felt like. It used to be a weight, heavy and pressing, a shackle. Now you miss the safety of not feeling so exposed all the time.

Somewhere in the journey here it had been lost, or maybe thrown overboard. Your habit, too, replaced for the woolen Viking-style dresses bought and bartered for by Simon and Johnny. Even you have to admit you enjoy the colours more, even if the conformity of the convent felt safe.

“How long were you watching me?” you breathe, eyes wide and still staring.

“Not long, lamb,” he smiles disarmingly. “Ah just remember ye, sittin’ pretty.”

“Working on the tapestry,” you correct him, though it doesn’t really matter.

He looks back down to his little figure, pensive.

“Ah guess so,” he says jovially.

“It was my punishment,” you add. This probably matters even less, but the clash of worlds has thrown you off balance. You feel unbearably present, unbearably lucid.

I was a nun, you think. Am I still a nun?

“Punishment?” he frowns. “Ah thought they struck ye?”

“Sometimes. But sometimes I had to work extra hard.”

“Like a bairn?”

“A what?”

“A child, lamb,” he smiles again.

You look into the fire, thinking. Punishment applied to everyone, not just children, no? Even Simon and Johnny had punished you. But who had given them the right? Had you, with your secret want? Your secret lustful sin?

“You punished me,” you settle on.

“Aye, we did,” he nods. “Ye needed it.”

“Then why do you… ah, disparage the church for doing the same?”

He turns to you.

“Ah think ye got it all wrong,” he says simply. “We don’t give it to ye to make ye hurt. Aren’t ye better after? Righted?”

Righted. That’s a word worth its weight in gold. As is the truth of his words, but you stay quiet and look into the fire instead of responding.

You take up Johnny’s offer to spend time with Kari. Johnny walks you there, holds your hand in the cold and blows hot air on them as you wait together outside their door.

When Gaz opens it, he hoots and hollers as if the frigid air outside has no effect on him, as if his inner warmth and naturally excitable disposition is no match for the cold.

You have to admire that. At least a little.

“Hi there,” Gaz says to you, a greeting softer than the one he gave Johnny.

“Hello,” you try to subtly peek inside, “it’s… nice to see you.”

He doesn’t take offence to your awkward, stilted attempt at politeness. Maybe he knows you’re not quite comfortable here, to put it lightly, and only claps your shoulder gently to pull you in.

“Have fun!” Johnny shouts, already leaving, “and give me my wife back in one piece!”

That makes you sheepish, but you try to ignore your feelings in favour of moving towards Kari and the little baby, Tyra.

“Hello again,” she greets, smiling. The baby stares at you, babbles ceasing as if she’s seeing you for the first time. Her little head swings towards her mother, hiding despite her clear curiosity.

“You’ve met me before,” you say softly, trying valiantly not to frighten her as you take a seat opposite to Kari.

“She’s feeling shy lately,” Kari looks down and tuts, swiping a thumb over Tyra’s chubby cheek, “needs her mama.”

Weaving here is not much different than weaving at the convent. Once you get the basics down, you’re threading dyed wool into cloth astride Kari.

Some spirit of confidence grips you.

“Will you tell me anything about Simon and Johnny?”

“About-” she lifts her head, “Simon and Johnny? Don’t they speak to you?”

“They - do,” you rush to assure her, though your voice maintains a weary unsureness.

Luckily for you, she gives you a small but comforting smile over the wool.

“You’re looking for an outside opinion? That’s okay, lovely girl, I just might not know as much about them as my husband does,” she gestures with her chin towards Gaz, who walks towards you both.

“What d’you need to know?” he asks casually, sidling up to Kari affectionately, “think they’ll be able to answer better than me.”

“I only really know… what I’ve seen. I haven’t…” your mouth twists as you trail off, frustration germinating as you struggle. Right, you can commit sins of the flesh but you can’t ask a question to sate curiosity — one which might be the difference between surviving and not surviving.

Knowledge is important, after all. Powerful. You think of Eve, who doomed humanity for it, naked as the day she was born and as clueless as Adam yet ate the apple anyway.

“I know they’re… warriors,” you pause, “since they’re all scarred, but—“

“Well, not necessarily—” Kari starts, until Gaz puts a palm on her thigh and gives her a look you can’t discern.

“That’s not something we should share,” Gaz says tightly, but kindly.

“How else..?” you frown.

Tyra stirs, and Kari gives Gaz another look.

“Simon’s father used to be chief,” she lifts the babe back into her lap, patting, cooing, “it’s not a nice story, but if you need it to understand them better then I don’t mind telling it.”

“I want to know about them,” you insist, trying to push past the sense of danger, the sense that you’ll be hurt or killed for toeing out of line.

Testing the elasticity of safety here perhaps isn’t wise, but testing it might be what you need to settle. Knowing where the boundaries are, what’s expected, where they come from… you wonder if you’ll doom everybody, like Eve.

“Believe it or don’t, but we’ve only just rekindled the hunts, the raids. How it should be,” she starts.

Gaz sighs, leaning back where he’s sitting. You assume his hesitance is out of loyalty for his comrades, but you choose tentatively to ignore him in favour of his wife.

“We had a lazy, drunken leader,” Kari continues, “Simon’s father inherited the title through lineage, not through prowess as is… more natural to us.”

You nod slowly, trying to imagine. In the church, such things were often gained with corruption: any wealthy lords’ son could rise high in the ranks, if he had the money and means.

The convent had somewhat of a similar issue, though the women were ‘married’ into the church and the power rested in the hands of their families.

Such was the world.

Not always, but you’d heard of it often enough. One of the abbots of the monastery in the closest town had been the son of an affluent donator, and thus received power of authority over the other monks.

“To make a long story short, and more respectful to Simon—” Gaz looks at her then “—his father was needlessly cruel both to his own children, his wife, and to those he was responsible for.”

“So, those scars…?”

“Some are from fighting, of course. But usually, no one’s getting close enough to those two to land that kind of damage. I’m sure you can fill in the rest.”

Gaz butts in here, “or, you can ask him yourself.”

“How did that woman, I forgot her name, come to be chief?” you frown in thought.

Gaz takes over again, his hand dragging up from the small of his wife's back and squeezing her nape. It’s as much of a warning as you’ve seen, though it’s quiet and Kari looks sheepish, not afraid, “Kate challenged him.”

“A challenge?” you frown, “such as?”

“A fight to the death.”

“Oh,” your lips close, and thin, and your eyebrows fly up. “I didn’t realize… I mean, violence is…”

They don’t do you the courtesy of filling in for you, so you go silent and the air settles.

Johnny picks you up later, when you’ve helped Kari with a big portion of her weaving. You love the threads, the dyeing process. It’s meditative.

“Good ?” Johnny nudges your side, slipping a hand to just above your waist, fingers tickling the side of your breast.

“Yes,” and it’s honest.

He walks you home, hand in hand, and cannot stop talking about Simon's return.

“Ah’ve never been without him this long,” he rambles over the fire, stirring a potato soup, “think yer gonnae be witness to something dirty. Sorry, lamb.”

Only he’s grinning, and he’s not sorry, and you can see the front of his pants begin to tent.

Johnny later offers you that very same sin, tilting his hips towards you and swinging his cock obscenely, cheekily. You do not take him up on it despite the smolder that begins between your legs – you simply turn, and try to sleep through the sounds of his self-abuse.

Simon returns without much fanfare, slipping into the house with a seemingly practiced silence. He moves like a ghost.

Johnny doesn't wake yet, sleeping like an affectionate log behind you.

His gaze meets yours, as impassive as always, framed in a halo of white winter light. He looks handsome this way, though it also has the effect of making his scars look deeper – crevasses on his face for shadows to lay in.

You watch as he strips his winter garments, slipping then beside you, evening out the weight on the bed.

“How did it go?” you whisper. If he's surprised that you spoke he doesn't show it, staring up at the ceiling, muscles decompressing. Sighing like a big dog.

In lieu of speaking, he lifts something into your focus. Oh, it's a tooth, sharp and white. A predator's tooth.

“The rest tomorrow,” he says quietly.

You can tell he's tired. His face looks weary. How far do they travel for these hunts? You assume quite far, as it’s enough to tire even a seasoned warrior.

So, rather than speaking, asking him from which creature he took this tooth, you tentatively reach your hand up to press your fingers against his thick scars.

Simon freezes, as do you. Then, as he relaxes, you trace the grooves on his face with your fingers tightly. Very lightly.

A delicate moment is born then. Johnny's deep, sleepy breathing behind you, Simon's acquiescence – it's a tranquil thing. As thin as lace, as sweet as a crisp apple.

After some time, when you've traced his face twice over and his eyes are half-lidded, you speak softly.

“Why me?”

“You're beautiful,” he says simply, sighing again, “we wanted to.”

It becomes harder, again, to hold the belief of them as devils. That they smelled the sin on you and picked you that way.

“Don't you think it's cruel?”

“No,” finally, he turns to you.

“It was,” you assert recklessly. Fear twists in your gut, poisonous.

“You were scared.”

“Yes.”

“Are you still scared?”

“I feel like you can see right through me. That scares me.”

“Not at first.”

“Then when?”

His hand finds the dip of your waist. Squeezes.

“On the boat, when you pushed up against me like a wet kitten. Even scared, you needed it.”

“You were cruel to me then, too.”

“I’m a cruel man.”

There's a stray thought that wiggles to life in the back of your head that suggests sympathy for him despite his statement. That you can begin seeing the path of his life and understand how he came to be.

You think of punishment again; about parents and children, husband's and wives, about Simon and his father. That wasn't punishment, if you're understanding it the way Kari implied.

A memory strikes you, unbidden and unwelcome.

Salt blows in the air, metallic and thick in your nose. Not sea salt, not the wind you love so much, but from blood spraying.

The man brought his son to the convent, citing his bad behaviour as ungodly. Sister Margret was pleading with him, hands clasped in desperate prayer and voice high, reedy, as she begged him to just stop hitting him – please, just stop hitting him!

The boy cowered. Not a child, but a boy nonetheless. Young enough to make an impression, round-cheeked, on the cusp of manhood. Stained with blood.

He lifted the rope, again and again and again, even as Margret leapt for his arm and tried to stop him, pulling, shouting.

You were stock still, frozen, not even a tremble in your body. Your eyes had widened when he first struck the boy and you’d been stuck since.

Simon takes your hand, peels it away from your dress, pulling you bodily towards him and out of the memory.

With your cheek pressed close to his bare shoulder, you murmur, “did you take me to hurt me?”

“No,” he says, sounding for once like he isn’t hiding anything.

“Did you hit me to really hurt me?”

“No,” he repeats, then, “I hit you because you needed it, because you liked it.”

“I’ve seen…” you don’t continue.

“I know.”

“We’ve both been hurt,” your voice is a whisper.

“Mm,” Simon confirms.

You think of the boy. Of his father. Of his terrified, deer-like eyes, blood splattered on his back and on the ground and soaked into the rope – about how four townsmen had to pull his father away for fear of killing the boy.

How you felt when you hit yourself, when the abbess hit you, how different they were to when Simon took his palm to your ass.

Shame. That had been in the boy's eyes that day. He had hid his face in his arms, cowering not only from fear but from being seen.

You’d felt that same shame each time you’d been punished, intensifying, twisting together until you’d learned to turn the same pain inwards.

“Are you afraid of being seen?” you murmur to Simon.

“No.”

You don’t have to say the silent part; that you’re the afraid one. That Simon correctly interpreting your need for a different kind of control, one that let you lose yourself, felt like you’d been flayed for all to see.

Simon moves his hand lower, cupping the soft curve of your behind, staring at you, testing the waters. You know that if you said no, he might anyways, but you stay quiet as his fingers lift the hem of your dress.

The fabric slides over your skin, a whisper in the air, tickling you. He rubs his rough, hairy knuckles against your thigh close to where it meets your leg.

He pauses there, breathing slowly, before he slides a finger up your slit and through the thatch of hair above it.

“If I made a request,” you murmured, “would you grant it?”

“Make it, and I’ll tell you.”

He slips a finger to rub your hole, just outside, teasing, while his thumb finds your clit.

“I don’t want you to take me until we’re man and wife… men and wife.”

Simon hums, rubs gently, makes your hips undulate.

“Do you think you’re in a place to be making requests like that, love?”

“I haven’t asked for anything else.”

He raises a brow, sliding his finger inside you to the knuckle when you’re wet enough.

“Haven’t you?”

Your breathing deepens, hands coming down to hold his thick wrist, pulling almost subconsciously. Even now, you can’t totally let go, leaning away from him and the pleasure.

But he understands, leaning over you, using his other hand to pin you to the mattress by your throat. It’s not the nicest hold, but the burning of your lungs heightens the pulsing in your cunt.

“Think you just made a few requests right now,” he grunts, using your leg to rub his hard, clothed cock.

There’s a stirring beside you. Johnny groans as he wakes up, then laughs sleepily.

“Ah woke up just in time,” his voice is rough with sleep.

Simon hums, mmm, in that deep rumble of his. He slips another finger inside you, crooking them, making you gasp raggedly. Your hands still clutch his wrist, weaker now, but it’s half resistance half comfort.

“Mm, good girl,” Johnny murmurs. He curls into your side, cock growing against your hip, wrapping a leg around you while his hand climbs beneath your pulled up dress and palms your tit.

God, you could die just like this: fighting for breath, touched all over, held down and made free. The hate you had for them feels irrelevant, the fear, the brutal way in which they stole you.

You can’t even think about if Simon will disregard your request – your last frontier against them, the treasure between your legs for a husband only.

Simon’s knuckle deep in it, but still, you can’t let go of that final tether. Not yet, not without any other internal pillars to hold you up.

Everything else has been wiped away. Drawings in the sand on a beach swept by foamy white waves.

Johnny leans in and bites your shoulder, gnawing, hips moving against you. You can’t arch like you want to, but you try.

Wet, sinful sounds grow as you gush around Simon’s fingers, as they use you to get off.

When you peak, white spots dance in your vision, mouth open in a silent scream choked away by Simon's heavy palm.

It’s like flying.

In the afternoon, when you’ve all slept, Simon leaves to speak with John and you prepare lunch with Johnny.

More fish, more potatoes. It’s growing on you.

When Simon returns, he has in his arms a rolled up fur. Though unprocessed and still wet underneath, it’s beautiful, pale, spotted.

He takes a heavy seat in front of you, laying the skin over his knees, taking your hand in his and bringing it to the fur.

Soft. Dense. Your fingers move through the pelt.

“For you,” Simon says.

You look up at him, heart dancing.

His gifts. The apple, the orgasms, this– you don’t know what to make of it. Yes, it’s a kindness, but he’s a cruel man. He’d said so himself, and you’d felt the brunt of it.

Leaning into that cruelty has given you a strange power, a strange solidity. You’d so begun to familiarize yourself with his harshness that you’d forgotten this complexity.

You pinch the fur, feeling it between your fingers, breathing slowly. Your neck ached, but it wasn’t a bad ache; it felt like a phantom hand.

“For me?”

Johnny slides three bowls on the table, grinning.

“Yer first wedding gift,” he says jovially.

“Oh, I see,” you murmur, but it isn’t a disappointed oh.

Simon leaves later again, full of soup, to process the rest of the hunt’s boon with John. He takes the pelt with him, a snowcat pelt you’ve learned.

Yet, he’d returned with not much more than scratches on him from travel. Tired, yes, but a few hours of sleep and splattering his spend on your belly had fixed that earlier.

You’d bathed, since, though the feeling was hard to shake.

Johnny putters about again, returning to his carving of the little mini you. A peek into the past, one you no longer embodied.

“Can I see when you’re done?” you ask, slipping your favourite wool dress on. The red, well worn one. Soft, comforting.

“Course,” he mumbles, concentrating. Then, his head shoots up.

“Ye want one o’ Simon ‘n’ I, lamb? Carry us around?” Only it sounds like aroond.

You nod, walking on socked feet to where he’s carving.

“Yes.”

#drgnfly writes #sorry this is a bit late ahaaa #im almost late to class to post this oopsie #im also not super happy with it but hey #its posted ig #ghoap x reader #goap x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #john mactavish x reader #soap x reader #cod x reader

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alchemistc · 1 month ago

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Welp, looks like I'm not done with the make them communicate series.

"I don't think this is working," Buck says, and sits in the silence of his words long enough to see the panic in Tommy's gaze. He waves his hands, shakes his head.

It was a stupid argument, really. A little thing that grew into a bigger thing until they were bringing up past grievances big and small and then Tommy had just ...shut the fuck down. Still and quiet in his seat, arms crossed, ass apparently surgically attached to that chair, so tense Buck could see the seams in Tommy's shirt fighting for their lives.

"That's not - I don't mean us. I'm still, like, so mad at you right now but I'm not - this isn't." Buck pauses. Takes a breath. Steadies himself with his weight braced on his palms. Tommy's arms have become somehow more crossed. "We're working. Badly, at the moment, but we'll figure it out. I just meant - Tommy do you need a break?"

He'd been clingy as hell, all those months ago. He could remember the panic every time Tommy got that "making a break for it" look on his eyes. He could remember the anger in his voice when he'd made Tommy swear not to leave in the middle of a conversation.

Tommy blows out a breath through his nose that makes Buck wonder if he'd been holding it.

"Yes," he says, grimacing like he hates to fucking admit it.

Buck's voice is a little fried. He still feels like yelling. He's still so pissed.

He'd caught Tommy smoking a cigarette, after the funeral. Could still remember the way he'd smiled around the filter when Buck's nose scrunched up at the smell. He hates the act itself, but it had looked...

Well, it had looked.

Buck's pretty sure Tommy had spent the early hours of the morning, once Buck had successfully managed to make him believe he could sleep, leaned over the kitchen sink slowly dismantling the rest of the pack stick by stick.

Buck has no idea what Tommy's calming techniques are. They should -

They should talk about that.

"Five minutes," Tommy says, already shaking weight out of his limbs, curling out of his seat. "I'm - five minutes. Time me."

He's already halfway toward the back door, which gives Buck a little comfort. Front door would have kept him on edge until he could actually see Tommy's face again. Back door means if Tommy's making a break for it he's gonna have to jump the fence.

"I'm not gonna time you," Buck snips, because he's still - he's not a violent man but sometimes Tommy drives him so damn crazy.

Buck paces. Does a mental inventory of his baking supplies. Thinks about Tommy's clothes, still waiting to be put in the dryer. Remembers this whole thing had started because Tommy made some dumb joke about how he hadn't expected to be sharing a closet with Buck and Eddie when Buck handed him a shirt Eddie'd left the last time he'd stayed over.

Tommy wasn't even being an ass, that time.

And. Okay. So, yeah, what he and Eddie have isn't, like, not co-dependent and a little strange to outsiders. He knows that. But it's still a sore subject with them. And Tommy's doing a much better job taking Buck at face value than Buck is believing that Tommy believes him.

It had just been a joke. A poorly executed one, but just a joke.

Tommy's back in four minutes and twenty-two seconds. Not that Buck was timing him.

Buck's a little surprised when Tommy walks right past his chair to stand across from Buck.

It seems like it's a struggle for Tommy to look at him. He does, though. Buck hates the spooked look in his eyes enough to feel some of the ire trickle from his spine.

"My father yelled a lot," Tommy says, and Buck rolls his tongue over his teeth. Clenches his jaw because he so rarely gets anything like this from Tommy and if he makes a single noise Tommy will clam right the fuck back up. "I learned a long time ago the easiest way to deal with that was to shut the fuck up and listen. Most of my adult life the same principle applied."

Buck's still annoyed with Tommy, but it would be incredibly easy to shift all that anger straight into everyone who's ever made Tommy feel small even once in his entire life. Starting with himself and working his way backwards to Dick Kinard.

("His name is John, Evan, that's not even close to a derivative.")

"I know you can't always help it. But. If we could - yell less. That would help."

Buck holds up a fist. Raises a single finger from it, just to see Tommy's watery grin.

"Can I go back to not-yelling at you now?"

"We could start framing our arguments as lively debates," Tommy jokes, because he can never quite help making light of things, and it's a trait Buck adores and despises in equal measure. Tommy catches him rolling his jaw, and sobers. "Return to our regularly scheduled programming."

"Tommy, I swear to -."

#bucktommy #bucktommy fic #tevan fic #make! them! communicate!

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doppel-doodles · 3 months ago

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A normal post about Doey the doughman from poppy playtime

Round 4 everyone!:D The grand finale to a series I had no idea was gonna be a thing-

I also wanna mention that these posts probably were the most engagement I've ever gotten on Tumblr EVER, it was kinda overwhelming ngl but I'm nonetheless grateful and super happy about it!:>

But now let's get into the thick of it:

These share the common theme of: I'm not sure how to start this, this time my excuse is the fact that I already talked about each of the boys sharing Doey meaning that covers all the basis for his personality and a lot of his interactions.

So instead let me talk about some things that they scrapped for Doey.

So- first things first, some scrapped content that we know of, the first was that apparently Doey was at one point planned to be an antagonist for chapter 2, at first I couldn't really see it but then I did think about it and it weirdly fits when you compare him and mommy longlegs??

Like their gimmicks are kinda similar, both of them are toys that can bend,stretch and twist their bodies however they wish and even from a design standpoint they kind of go together.

Mommy is long and spindly, pink from head to toe meanwhile Doey is big and round with his main color being blue. And I know pink and blue are not opposites on the color wheel but people often associate them as opposites. Not to mention mommy has cool accent color and doey has warm accent colors.

The point I'm trying to make is: they weirdly go together.

Its giving the main big bads henchmen vibes with how they are sorta matching opposites.

Ngl I love that-

It makes me wonder about what could've been, I wouldn't trade my boy does for anything in the world but simply IMAGINE what a more antagonistic Doey could be like, maybe he was more calculating and hid his crazy better or go full hulk on us, maybe he was simply an obstacle mommy would throw at us in the game station.

Some food for thought.

A second thing that was scrapped from chapter 4 was a side quest for Doey where we go to retrieve a book for everyone to read.

And you know what?

We. Were. ROBBED.

FUCKING ROBBED.

I think a little side quest where we just get to contribute to the safe haven would've gone a long way in making the loss of it all the more gut wrenching.

And it just hammers home the fact that all of them are still CHILDREN.

Just imagine: we retrieve the book and then we get to see a little scene of Doey reading to the toys, maybe we even get to sit with them and listen to the story as well, or heck maybe WE get to read the book to them if we wanted to.

And afterwards we get new voice lines from the toys talking about how they really are starting to like us! Maybe even talk to US! It's a little thing that does a lot to make us feel like a part of this community, no longer an outsider.

And a tiny scene like that would make Doeys outburst hurt so much more.

Because we gave him a taste of something better only for the worst possible thing to happen right after.

Like Matthew could've finally gotten to sit back, enjoy a story and experience his first break in YEARS.

Kevin could've started to be more comfortable around us, seeing how much effort we put into helping them, even when it was small things that "didn't matter". He might even start viewing us as a safe adult to be around!

And Jack could just feel like a kid again! Imagine if he doesn't even know the story since he isn't from the orphanage, and he just gets so excited hearing something new and just-

UGHHHHH MY HEART IT WAS SUCH A FUMBLE!

Wanna hear my thoughts on the boys?

Here ya go-

Matthew

Kevin

Jack

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hiiikiko · 5 months ago

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𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖎𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖜𝖊𝖇

[5: you’re such an asshole]

tlou m.list | series m.list

spider-man!ellie x reader

synopsis: ever since that night on the bench, you haven’t seen Spidey and it seems that Ellie has been avoiding you.. what is wrong with your love life??

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

ELLIE’S POV:

“Fuck, I know! You don’t gotta keep saying that,” Ellie groaned as she threw herself onto her bed, covering her face with her hands and hoping that they would also cover her fragile ego.

“I’m just sayin’, man,” Jesse laughed as he chucked a piece of popcorn into his mouth, “It ain’t right.”

Dina chimed in, “Mhm, agreed… besides, it’s really fuckin’ weird.”

Ellie groaned and sat up. She had known Jesse and Dina since middle school, long before she got her powers, they were nice. Jesse was a transfer student from Wyoming, Dina a transfer student from New Mexico, and Ellie wasn’t exactly a transfer student but she did transfer from Austin to New York. So, the three of them soon became good friends.. all three were outsiders so it was natural for them to flock together, like birds of a feather. Soon after Ellie was bit, Jesse and Dina found her out because she broke down in front of them, crying about how stressful it is, how she’s a freak, and that she’s petrified about turning into an actual spider (thanks freshman lit).

“It’s not weird!” Ellie whined.

“You’re practically stalking the poor girl,” Dina scoffs, sitting up from the beanbag, “She has a right to know!”

Jesse nods, “Yeah, dude, and don’t you think it’s unfair? She’s confiding all her secrets in Spidey-you, not Ellie-you..”

Ellie sits up “I know.. I know I should come clean but.. she’s already a pretty big fan of Spider-Man.. hell, she has memorabilia all over her fuckin’ apartment.. what if,” she takes a deep sigh, “What if she’s, you know… disappointed? What then..”

Dina gives Ellie’s hand a reassuring squeeze, “If she’s as wonderful as you say she is.. she won’t care that her hero is a completely socially awkward nerd.”

“Hey!” Ellie scoffs and playfully pushes Dina, “But, yeah.. maybe you’re right..”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Argh! Gwen, there’s no fucking way I’m getting this,” you whine, burying your head into your scarf.

“Shh,” your best friend, Gwen Stacy, laughs, trying to remind you that the two of you were in a library, “Where is your tutor?”

“She’s ignoring me,” you pout, resting your head on the table and looking up at Gwen who had been attempting to help you for the last hour and a half.

Gwen rolls her eyes, “Now, why would she be ignoring you?”

You shrug, “I don’t know, ugh, she’s so confusing..”

It had been almost an entire month since you’ve heard from Ellie, she apparently requested to not work on any photoshoot with you, hadn’t been picking up your phone calls.. what made matters worse is that now Spidey was ignoring you.. well, actually.. you couldn’t be sure that he was given that he never gave you his number or socials and it’s not like the communication between you is consistent..

Gwen shakes her head, “I don’t get why you’re so upset about this.. girl, Y/n/n.. it’s not like she’s of notoriety or anything, she’s sure as hell no Abby Anderson.”

Uh, ouch?

You scoff, “You’re so shallow, you wouldn’t be saying the same thing about Peter if he hadn’t wasn’t working for Stark Enterprises, would you?”

Gwen rolls her eyes, “I wouldn’t know Peter if he wasn’t working for Stark Enterprises.”

You give a half hearted laugh as you begin to pack your things up, “Anyway, I’ll see you later Gwen.. a fellow model invited me to that play on Broadway.”

“Ooh with Mary Jane?”

You nod and wave goodbye.

The cold winter air nipped at your skin, causing the blood to rush to your cheeks and give you a nice pink dusting. You tightened your scarf around you as you flagged down a taxi.

“Y/n,” you heard a familiar french accented voice call from the street, the voice belonged to Giá, a tall, brown skinned, and brunette model. She was almost like an older sister to you, she had taken you under her wing when you first got into modelling which was surprising, given that she used to date your older brother who ended up dumping her for some gold digging camgirl.

“Hey, Giá,” you smile as you hop out the taxi, “We’re you waiting long?”

“No, I just arrived! Had to stop by the florist,” she holds up a bouquet of white lilies.

You quirk your brow, “ Mm and who might those be for?”

Giá giggles, a melodic sound, “You will see..” she plucks a lily from the bouquet and hands it to you, “this one is for you, mon cheri.”

You giggle and take the lily and hold it close, “Then shall we?”

“We shall.”

The theatre was warm and bustling with activity, attendees trying to find their seats, staff checking tickets, ladies coming in and out of the ‘powder room,’ and stagehands running around.

“This way,” a tall member of the staff says and leads you two to the front of the theatre.

“Fancy,” you mumble as you take a seat next to Giá, even your family never got this type of treatment.

Giá excitedly looks up at the stage as the curtains begin to open, a beautiful redhead comes down the staircase, singing a hauntingly tragic love song.

You could feel someone’s gaze boring into you.. taking a swift glance around, you meet the eyes of a certain auburnette, her camera laced around her neck and her eyes narrowed into yours before quickly looking away and aiming her camera at the redhead on stage.

As the play came to an end Giá quickly ran up to the stage and handed her bouquet to the redhead, earning a kiss from her. You smiled fondly at the encounter.

“Thought that was your girlfriend,” a hoarse voice mutters from behind you, so close you could feel their breath on your neck which caused you to jump and turn around.

“Abby, my god,” you gasp, putting your hand to your chest, “What are you doing here? I thought you hated plays..”

Abby laughs and crosses her arms, her eyes roaming over your figure, “Well, uh, my dad wanted to see it.. you know how he is.”

You laugh, you know exactly how Mr. Anderson was.

“So.. looks like your friend is bus?” She nods over at Giá who has her arms wrapped around the redhead.

You groan, “She was my ride home too..”

Abby smiles, “Well, I parked my car nearby..”

You consider it for a bit, “Well—.”

And before you could answer, Ellie intrudes, “I can take her home.”

She pulls you away.

“What the fuck, Ellie,” you scoff and rip yourself from her grasp.

Ellie stares daggers into you, “What? I’m just trying to fucking help, I-I didn’t think it’d be a good idea for you to go with her, given that she’s your ex and all.”

“Well, that was my decision to make, wasn’t it?” you rasp out, “I don’t need you, Abby, or even fuckin’ spider-man to come to my rescue, got that?”

Ellie looks like you just killed her favourite horse, “I-I was just trying to help..”

You storm away, not getting far when you hear “I can still give you a ride home!”

You were unfortunately in no position to pass that offer up.. so that’s how you ended up in the passenger seat of Ellie’s truck, the heater on blast and indie rock coming softly from the stereo.

The ride was silent and full of tension so thick that you could only cut it with a chainsaw.

“Here we are,” Ellie drums her fingers against the steering wheel.

Suddenly, you can’t take it anymore.. the fucking ghosting, her acting like nothing ever happened between the two of you, “You’re such a fucking asshole.”

Ellie stops drumming, “W-What?”

“You heard me, you’re a fucking asshole. You kiss me then act like nothing happened, then come back in and save the god damn day, and—,” you cut yourself off by letting out a soft sob.

“Y-y/n, I-I can explain!” she pleads.

“I don’t want to hear it, Ellie,” you shakily mutter as you unbuckle yourself and get out of the truck, Ellie does the same and pleads with you to hear her out all the way up to your apartment.

“Please,” she whispers one last time as you slam the door in front of her face.

You stand at the door for a few minutes longer, hall expecting her to bang on the door again.. when five minutes goes by, you slip out of your clothes and into your comfiest pj set, washing your face and turning on the heater as you finally settle in on your couch..

Knock, knock, knock!

“Ellie, I already said to fuck of—.”

“Who’s Ellie?”

Mother fucker.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

[a/n: sorry LMAO this is another filler chapter.. next chapter will feature more Ellie and maybe more of Spidey. Y/n will be attending a formal event and maybe, just maybe, Spidey will make an appearance….?]

tags: @elliecoochieeater @wavesgocrash @g3latin @elliesflowersblog @usuck @elliessweetheart @miss-chananandler-bong @lvlymicha @prettywhnyoucry @g0d-wont-let-me-die @errorlovernotfound99 @thatgiraffefromtlou

#ellie the last of us #ellie willams x reader #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie fanfic #ellie tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie x y/n

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nonsscrapheap · 2 months ago

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i blame @lovckett or this, spawned by their SI!Armada!Starscream appearing in TF: Prime Idea

random scene of armada starscream rescuing breakdown from mech's first capture. (let my boy have BOTH his optics pls and thank you)

===== Armada x Prime =====

"Open him up."

Breakdown would never admit to feeling fear at the sight of the drill coming closer to his optic, but he won't deny that he was feeling something akin to it. Which was fragging natural considering this was a drill about to take out his optic!

Suddenly, the tunnel he was being kept in shook. Breakdown gritted his denta as the tip of the drill shook and scratched along his faceplate instead, the shaking missing his optic by inches.

"What was that?!" The fleshling, Silas barked as the drill was reared back and powered down. The screen suddenly shifted to a closed entryway, the start of the tunnel.

The metal shutter was dented inwards with the metal gleaming red as if something hot had exploded against it. The armed humans at the closed shutter seemed hesitant but had their guns aimed at the dented and idly melting entryway.

Breakdown squinted his optics, wondering what was going on- had Lord Megatron or someone else sent Decepticons to rescue him? Great, if a little embarrassing considering he'd been captured by organics of all things.

The tunnel shook again as the metal shutters exploded, a violet beam cutting through the giant dust cloud that came from the explosion, miraculously it didn't hit any humans but it left a series of small explosions in its wake.

"Jetstorm, Runway, Sonar, go!" A voice, a mech's voice, commanded. A voiceprint that Breakdown was unfamiliar with.

From the dark cloud, three small jets, smaller than even the average Earth vehicle, emerged. The humans were stunned, but not stunned enough to not react- they shot at the flying vehicles but were chaotically rammed into by said jets, they cried out in surprise as the three jets flew around and aimed for any human nearby.

"Unfortunate, but intriguing." Silas said before he motioned for the other to follow him. "A shame to cut this short, it would have been a lot more interesting cutting open a live cybertronian instead of sifting through the leftovers of those lesser Decepticon ones that the Autobots love going through. Another time then, Breakdown."

His spark dropped, did he mean the vehicons? Was that why they had less body parts to retrieve lately? How dare they-

Three thumps interrupted his rage, and his optics flickered at the sight of... minicons? Minicons? Here? On Earth? "What the frag."

The three minicons beeped in their private little minicon language, Breakdown had never really bothered to learn about it or more about minicons. The little espionage bots throughout the war were more of the Intel and Communications part of stuff while Breakdown- well, obviously he was not that.

Reminds him of the minicons that Soundwave used to have. (He wonders if those two are okay, Soundwave has never been the same without them and Ravage)

The minicons looked up and waved their arms, beeping and chirping cheerily and with pride.

Pedesteps.

"Yes, yes, good work you three. You cleared the way and made it to- well, this poor gentlemech." That voiceprint... Breakdown strained his helm to see who it belonged to.

It was... a seeker? Big one, bigger that Starscream.

Bright red with white, and- orange optics? Strange. He doesn't know this mech. No Decepticon brand... but no Autobot brand either. Neutral?

Pretty thing though, the red finish reminds him of Knock Out...

Was that another minicon on the seeker's shoulder? Four minicons?

"Who are you?" Breakdown asked suspiciously, optics narrowing at the seemingly Neutral seeker (who was neutral nowadays? He didn't know there were any neutrals left...)

The seeker huffed, "Your savior." He deadpanned in reply before reaching back and detaching his wing??? What??? The??? Frag??? Could seekers do that?

He watched in stunned silence as the wing folded thinly into a blade-shape, before gleaming red with energy. A fragging laser sword?? Again. What the frag??? Could Starscream do that??

The minicons jumped off of his restrained body as the unknown seeker stepped closer, raising the sword high, was he going to—

Breakdown flinched as the sword was brought low in a swift, yet beautifully efficient movement. Not a klik later, his restrained were sliced open. Breakdown had no knowledge of swordsbotship, but damn had that been cool.

"Come on, we need to go." The seeker barked, turning on his heel. The minicons beeped and chirped, motioning Breakdown to get up.

Breakdown was quick to do so, "Hey! Wait!" He and the minicons quickly caught up to the seeker who was now jogging through the tunnel. "You didn't answer my question."

"Yes I did."

Breakdown frowned, "You didn't tell me your designation."

"You asked who I was, not for my designation." Was the seeker's smart aft reply. Breakdown held back an annoyed growl. "Call me... Armada."

Breakdown's optics narrowed again, Armada? He doesn't recall any mech or seeker going by the name. Clearly a fake designation. Before he could even ask or demand the seeker's actual designation, they ended up at the entrance- where more of those pesky humans were.

Breakdown didn't bother holding back his growl this time, servo shifting to his hammer while the seeker dropped into a defensive stance with his sword, shielding his faceplate from the annoying fire from the smaller creatures.

The minicons took shelter behind them, the one at Armada's shoulder moved behind Armada's helm and tapped it insistently, bleeping and chirping rapidly. "Absolutely not! Just get down with the others Swindle!" Armada growled.

Swindle?

How fragging hilarious, the minicon shared a name with that money-grubbing conmech. He can't wait to tell KnockOut later on.

Swindle, hah, bleeped even harder but reluctantly dropped to the ground with the three other minicons. Just in time Armada to swat away an incoming missile with his still glowing sword.

Missiles were being launched from helicopters above while cars of humans were shooting annoying yet distracting bullets from below, moving around like the chaotic insects they were.

Breakdown used his canon to shoot at them, and his hammer to pound down any car that dared to come close enough.

Armada was using his sword to gouge the earth and cut cars in half, using one half of the car to lob at the helicopters- direct hit. Breakdown grinned, following his lead and grabbing a smashed car for one of the other copters.

One of those copters had a strange electric canon thing, it charged and narrowly missed Armada who had dodged just in time with a incensed growl.

Breakdown was a little more distracted, trying to smash every car in his wake so he was very surprised when Armada suddenly tackled him from the side- he was less surprised as the spot he'd been standing at suddenly exploded thanks to that electric canon.

The seeker was quick to get back on his pedes while Breakdown stared up at him with wide optics. Damn.

Usually, between him and KnockOut, it was KnockOut who liked to bring mechs into their open relationship for a good time. Breakdown rarely did that on his own, content with his conjunx but Primus, was this new seeker making him think—

He suddenly hears blaster fire, and from the distance, he sees blue blaster fire shooting at the helicopters from the ground. "You called the Autobots for backup?!" He hissed but was surprised by the glare he got from the seeker.

"No, I did not." He growled back, looking displeased and annoyed. "They must have been in the area and heard the noise."

Breakdown doesn't know if he should believe that, but as much as he hates the fact the Autobots were around. At least their presence was useful, with the added numbers of threats growing, the humans- MECH- decided to retreat.

Leaving Armada and Breakdown behind to deal with the Autobots. Or, well, Autobot.

Turns out it was just Bulkhead.

"Well I'll be, if it isn't Bulkhead." Breakdown sneered as the former Wrecker came forward, blaster smoking. "I'll admit, didn't expect to see you here alone. Again. Ready for round two?"

"Breakdown." Bulkhead growled back, optics narrowed, "Should'a known you of all mechs didn't need rescuin'... Who's your friend?" He glanced over to Armada but faltered at the sight of the four minicons that were peeking from behind Armada's legs. And then double-taking as he watched Armada's sword de-activate, fold back into a wing shape and reattach it back on his back. "Uh..."

Honestly, not even Breakdown can blame him because that was the exact reaction he had watching the whole thing. "I'm not his friend." Armada replied with a scoff, "Just someone who knows it's a bad idea for Cybertronian biology to end up in the hands of humans like MECH. It's trouble no one wants." He said, crossing his arms.

"You're a Neutral?" Bulkhead muttered, a bit awed as he sees no brand on the seeker. "Didn't think you guys were still around."

Armada sent him a sharp look, "And whose fault is that exactly?" He snarked before shaking his helm, "I'm done here. You two can go back to your war and your fighting. Try not to destroy this planet like Cybertron and countless others."

Both bots flinched at the scathing tone the seeker had, "Hey! That's not fair- it was the cons who destroyed Cybertron not us Autobots!" Bulkhead protested and Breakdown glowered at him.

Unfortunately that was true, however- "It was you 'bots who forced us to do that!"

They both readied their hammers before a loud, angry jet engine growl interrupted their fight. "Both of you can shut the frag up! As far as I see it, both of you Decepticons and Autobots ruined Cybertron! It's always you two! No matter what uni—" Armada cut himself off, inventing sharply with a bitter and pained look. "... Cybertron is dead, thanks to this Unicron-damned war. Autobot, Decepticon... You both have energon staining your servos. Don't act as if the other side is the sole blame for everything."

There was a silence in the air as Armada seemed to hug himself, his minicons beeping and chirping sadly at the seeker who avoided looking at both ex-Wreckers.

Well... seemed like trying to coax Armada to either side would be difficult if that was his mindset over everything. Breakdown had to wonder if Armada had sided with either during the war, or was he neutral all along? Hard to say.

Suddenly Armada's wings perked and he looked up to the sky, "Scrap." He said, spotting lights in the distance in a formation. His wings twitched again and he looked off to the side, more lights in the distance. "Scrap." He repeated.

"Swindle! Jetstorm! Sonar! Runway! We're leaving, now!" Three of the minicons immediately transformed into their jet alts, taking to the skies while the fourth, Swindle, climbed up Armada's leg. Armada turned to Breakdown, glaring at him determinedly. "You owe me for this Breakdown, remember that."

"Armada—" Breakdown was interrupted when the mech jumped into the air, transforming into a jet with Swindle in his cockpit. Soon, he, along with the three other little jets, were off. Flying as far and as fast as they could.

By the time both Decepticon and Autobot back up returned, it was just the ex-Wreckers left behind.

And though there would be an ensuing fight, said Wreckers would have quite the tale to tell to both sides.

===== Armada x Prime =====

this is definitely not canon to Hound of the Stars since i have no idea WHEN hokori is going to drop Armada in, in the Primeverse timeline. just a separate snippet about Armada saving Breakdown that i had to write bc it was itching at my brain.

why did armada save breakdown? because he hates MECH and Breakdown should've had more screen time. VERY bitter about cybertron's fate in nearly all the continuities they know of, its added by armada!starscream's own personal memories as a child soldier who probably never saw cybertron's golden age and stuff. all he knows is war and he hates it.

that's this armada though, i am very much looking forward to whatever hokori is cooking for Hound of the Stars.

also yes, those are the names for the minicons who make up the star saber- i had to dig for those. swindle is the laser canon. ive implied a lot of stuff, also made breakdown and knockout conjunxes bc yes.

honestly i have another scene in mind of dreadwing meeting armada and immediately falling helm over heels for the seeker. bright paint, good at minicon care (sparklings anyone??) and strong warrior? oomf. likewise, i kinda want soundwave to be lowkey obsessed with armada bc of the minicons. and oo, wheeljack? fellow swordfighter hello???

look i just want armada to be hot and be sought out for by both sides.

i hope you enjoyed!

#transformers #maccadam #transformers prime #transformers armada #armada starscream #transformers fanfic #crossover #transformers breakdown #kobd #transformers bulkhead #i am so tempted to write this whole fic myself but i should not #maybe another time #let armada be hot and mysterious #and also be salty over autobots and decepticons

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satzumosupremacy · 1 year ago

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Elite Bodyguard Series: Pt.9

Embrace

Male reader x Jihyo

Tags: Sprinkle of fluff, Smut, Impregnation kink, Drunk sex, Quickie 6.8K Words

As you were required for an award show, the thought of Jihyo attending never crossed your mind, and you were unaware of her presence. Even though you were aware of her being there, you maintained professionalism by staying in the background and behind the cameras while the award ceremony unfolded.

As a bodyguard, you typically stand alert with earpieces, awaiting radio communication regarding potential threats. In contrast, many other security guards either monitor numerous cameras on large screens within designated rooms or actively patrol the hallways.

You find yourself observing Jihyo as she sits, fully immersed in the ceremony, seemingly unaware of your presence. However, as you sneak glances at her, a subtle discrepancy catches your attention, causing a growing sense of annoyance. Her smiles, perfectly timed for the cameras, contrast with a nonchalant, annoyed expression when the attention is not on her. It isn't until hours later that she finally rises and makes her way towards you near the door.

“Come out. We should talk, Oppa.”

“Let’s go to the hallway near the bathroom. There’s no cameras.”

“No wonder you get paid so much. Just scanning everything like a muscle memory,” she said, chuckling on the way to the bathroom. “Sometimes, I feel like you’re not human.”

“That really hurt, Jihyo,” you said playfully, “I didn’t know you would show up here. I saw your schedule, but coming here? That’s surprising.”

“Just curious to see. Since we both are here, maybe I’ll come over tonight instead.”

“Are you really curious, or was this an idea that you want to fall through and sleep on my bed?” You said, teasing Jihyo and staring at her gorgeous back.

“Who knows. How do I look?” Jihyo turns around for you and poses.

"You look beautiful in that black dress," you complimented with a warm smile, appreciating the way the dress accentuated her grace and style. Her face lit up with a grateful blush, and the simple yet heartfelt compliment added a touch of warmth to the night. But the way you knew how she looked under that dress turned you on more.

“My eyes are up here, Oppa.” She said, laughing softly, catching you staring at her gorgeous body, and cover her mouth with her hands. “I plan to leave, how about you?”

“I have to stay til the end.”

She sighs, “I’ll wait for you at your house.”

“Ask your manager to stay to keep you company. I don’t want you feeling alone in a big house," you said out of worry.

“We both live alone. It’s only right that both of us know how it feels. I’ll be fine, Oppa.”

You didn’t budge but ask her again, “stay with your manager until I’m home.”

"No," Jihyo playfully responded with a confident smile. It was impossible to disagree with her again after such assurance.

“Okay fine. But we should get going. I hear footsteps. Might be a security guard making his way around.” You never fail to surprise her with the smallest things, like hearing footsteps or blind spots that cameras won’t be able to see.

She could only sigh, yet witnessing this more masculine aspect of you was truly one of her favorites. "Alright, I'll catch up with you later."

You nod and follow her back from a distance. The little dirty thoughts of knowing what she looks like under that dress turned you on even more. As time passes, your only option is to remain standing, communicating with the security room, while you observe the ending of the show hours later.

——

As you enter the garage and step out of the car, she hears you and promptly opens the door to welcome you. However, Jihyo doesn't utter a word; instead, she walks directly towards you and gently pins you to the wall after closing the door for you. In an instant, her lips meet yours, and she kisses you as if she has been longing for the passion you both shared the last time.

No greetings. Just getting straight to the point.

Despite both of your schedules today, the two of you wanted some relief, or better, the whole night that you both deserve after a long day. Her hands hang on your shoulders. As it continued from a genuine kiss to a more passionate one, your hands slowly trace her figure down to her hips, squeezing Jihyo’s ass.

“So damn aggressive, Oppa,” Jihyo said, smiling at you once the two of you made eye contact. "You're very, very handsome tonight."

“Fuck, you know how hot you look in that black dress?” You said, mouth inches apart, and shares of each other's warm breath.

“It’s hotter seeing you in all black, Oppa.”

“Sorry it took so long, Jihyo.” She didn’t respond and continued to kiss all over you lips down to your neck while you traced her curves, grabbing her ass for a tight squeeze again. “All mine for the night?”

“Oppa,” she said, gasping quietly, “remember…what I said to you at the start of all this?”

“What is it?” You said and turned around to pin her to the wall. Your hands never let go of her body and kept touching her with lust. She stares right at you, locking each other's eyes silently for a split second.

“Eat me. I never gave you a chance at the start. I know you’re tired of having the same thing each week.”

“Sana?”

“I never said no names.” She laughs, catching you off guard to start name calling. “Have me. Me for tonight. Eat me and hold me tight. I’ll please you too.”

“You know I won’t disappoint you, Jihyo.” And within an instant, you lift up her dress slightly to see that Jihyo didn’t have any panties on. She got you flustered, and you can only question her, “what’s going on? Don’t act like Sana. This is so not you at all.”

“Got too impatient waiting for you. Couldn’t help but play with myself for a while.”

“I kept you waiting, didn't I?" You then nod side to side with a gentle smile, "you don't have to anymore.” And you slowly trace between her crotch right onto her clit to feel how wet she has gotten. Curiously, you tap her pussy gently, just feeling a string of her juice stretch onto your fingers. “It’s very wet. Tell me what you were thinking while I was gone, Jihyo. Tell me everything. Tell me what we should do on this lovely tonight.”

She remains locked to your eyes, moaning ever so quietly as you rub her clit slowly. “I just,” she whimpers quietly, “want to be held in your arms and feel like I’m the only woman in the world.”

Unexpectedly, you felt some pity, some gratitude at the same time when she wants you, and only you to make her feel this way. Ever since the first time you fucked her, you never got a taste of her at all, but only get to feel how tight she really was, and with a smirk, you lick your fingers immediately once you pulled out to get a taste of Jihyo as she quietly looks at you for a compliment.

“May you cum on my face later?” You said, licking your lips and finger her again while Jihyo could only pant quietly.

You gaze at her, right in her eyes, and hear her beautiful voice, continuously fingering her even faster, deeper with another finger inside. “Oppa,” she moans and squeezes your shoulders, “I just want you.”

The difference between Jihyo at the award show and right in your house was vastly different. In the public eye, she shows confidence, smiling for cameras. Yet, in the private moments away from the spotlight, she seeks comfort, desiring to be held in your arms without the presence of cameras. Slowly tracing her body, you quickly lift her up and carry her to the couch with your hands on her ass.

“After a long day, we both deserve this time. Am I right, Jihyo?” You toss her on the couch and took the advantage of being on top to kiss her neck. She tilts her head in the opposite direction from your kisses to give you every space possible.

“Want to stay up for the night?” She quietly moans more from the feeling of your lips all over her neck.

“It’s been a long day, but if you want, we can. Staying up is simple.”

“Busy tomorrow? I don’t recall you being busy.”

“So many questions.” You said with a chuckle and pin her down harder, silently staring right into her eyes. Even avoiding Jihyo’s question, you are busy in the afternoon later, but rather not disappoint her.

“Eyes so seductive,” she complimented.

“Because I’m the one that you’ll have tonight.”

“Let’s go to the bedroom. Eat me, Oppa. Give me what I was missing out on.”

Before you even walk to the bedroom, you see a smile from her, brighter than you can clearly remember from today. Even though she brought a suitcase and seemed to be packing for a vacation, you willingly offered to carry her luggage. Regardless, you didn't pay any mind whether she intended to stay for just a night or several days.

“Oppa, why aren’t you asking about my luggage that I brought over?” Jihyo questioned while taking off her dress.

“I’m fine if you stay over. Let my house be your sanctuary and escape from reality. Whatever’s bothering you, just know I’m here.” You said, concerned nonchalantly, and subtly expressing empathy. Considering Twice's hectic schedules, including yours, it's evident that the members are likely burnt out.

In fact, you could sense something was on her mind at the start of the event when the cameras weren’t focused on her. But when she’s in the spotlight, it was all smiles—fake enough to make you notice the small differences from Jihyo. From just being an observant person, it made you worry for her.

“Oppa,” she said as you stare at her naked body, “thanks,” Jihyo said and you can see her smile fade away. You rather try to make her feel happy instead of knowing what’s on her mind, simply because you couldn’t relate to being an idol after all. But even if she hesitated to say what was on her mind, you wanted her to tell you regardless.

“Jihyo, the door is closed, and it’s only us two together.” You said, sugarcoating and encouraging her to open up comfortably. Despite the close bond within Twice, it's understandable that her leadership role comes with a sense of pride. You're aware that she might feel uneasy about sharing her thoughts with the other members.

“Oppa,” she said, hands out, inviting for a hug in front of you and you wrap your arm around her without a word, “I like the hospitality you give me."

"Feel free to express yourself. When we hug, I can't see your face, so just share what's on your mind, Jihyo." You gently pat her back, with her tits pressed against your chest. If Jihyo needed a shoulder to cry on, you would bring her in your arms without wanting her embarrassed.

“Our schedule was tough, wasn’t it, Oppa?”

“It was…kinda, Jihyo. It was.”

"Are we being too much for you? In a personal way?"

"No, not at all," you said simply.

“I’m just tired. I’m just exhausted. It’s just been rough for all of us including you, Oppa. I’m sorry.”

You couldn’t tell if she was crying or not, either way, you held her in tightly and warmly, her chin on your shoulders as if she was crying behind your back. “Did anyone tell you that you’re doing good? I’m very proud of you, Jihyo. Very.”

Your words had the power to bring tears to her eyes, whether from the struggles or from the sheer motivation it provided. Jihyo's joy was evident in the warmth of her cheeks against yours. However, you didn't realize that these were tears of happiness, or even seeing Jihyo shed a tear. As she held you even tighter, standing still, she embraced the heartfelt words you had given her.

“Want to drink? Celebrate after our busy schedules, Oppa? Just us two. We get along so well together.” Jihyo said out of the blue, smiling and wiping her tears secretly and gets down on her knees to kiss your body and pull your pants down with a mischievous smile.

“Jihyo,” you caressed her cheek and she sucks on your thumb for a tease. “Anyone told you that you look so beautiful today?”

“No..well, apart from my stylist and managers. Thanks.” Jihyo then kisses your tip, licking the bottom side to make your cock twitch on her tongue. "You deserve something, Oppa. And it's me."

“Not even a tease. Just getting straight into it, Jihyo.” It’s not like she can say anything back when you held her nape and pushing her gently down to deepthroat your cock slowly, which you groaned, “Jihyo.”

You fall back onto the bed. Jihyo’s little hum, moan, and her eyes that stared up to you, eased the tough day both of you had. You push her down even more to make Jihyo gag louder. The wet slurps her mouth made echoed in the bedroom, it was pure music to your ears while you closed your eyes. She smiled from the corner of her mouth all because of how pleasured you were. Even Jihyo missed the way your cock tasted and swallowed all the pre-cum that leaked out. You gently let go of her nape to give Jihyo some rest as she pulls off to take a deep breath.

“Think I’m finally realizing why Sana is so obsessed. Fuck,” Jihyo laughs, wiping the small mess on her lips. You decide to seduce her by pressing your thumb against her lips and make her suck on your thumb again.

You brush her hair by the ear just to see her face even clearer, “I love how dirty you can get when the time is right. Can you take it deeper?”

She smirks, “you think I can’t?”

“You’re a singer after all. I’m worried.”

“Studio session isn’t in a couple days. Plus, it’s not like this is our first time together.”

She continues to suck you off, from the tip, you can feel her tongue rubbing against it. You moan, grunting quietly while holding her nape and grip onto her hair, “Jihyo,” you couldn’t help but groan her name. “Fuck, just like that.”

Your breath becomes even heavier, deeper once she started to deepthroat you without any guidance. You feel some saliva drip down to your balls, to which she quickly licks your balls with a light chuckle, and the breath you felt. “Just cum if you can’t handle it. We have the whole night. Don’t be embarrassed, Oppa.”

She squeezes your cock, thumb teasing your tip in circular motion to make it twitch. And again, she doesn’t hesitate to suck you off when your cock is all hers tonight. “Jihyo,” you grunted, “slow down.”

And like she even listened, Jihyo pushes herself down even farther to take every inch when you felt her throat contract and chokes—hard, and pulls out to jerk you off. “Were you worried?”

“No shit.”

“How considerate,” she smirks and admires your cock. “May I get an appetizer? Then all of it inside somewhere else later?”

“If you really can’t wait to get eaten out.” Without hesitation, she sucks only your tip, swirling her tongue around it and under to make you gasp. The whole time, Jihyo sucks and teases your tip for your load of cum. You lean your head into the bedsheet even harder the more she focuses on your tip, and it is only the tip. Her head bobs quickly all in one area that got you tensed up, even making you grunt. “Jihyo. Jihyo.”

Your cock pulsates every bob she does, and it was too much for you to handle when all the focus is the tip of your cock. You would confidently say to yourself that her blowjobs were different than any women. Her soft, warm hands were on your lap, slowly and teasingly caressing your thighs.

“Fuck, Ji-” you said, grunting, cumming right in her mouth as she slows down to feel your cock pulsating. Jihyo didn’t expect how much she got you to cum and your cock didn’t stop pulsating to fill her mouth. Jihyo stopped bobbing for your own sanity. Seconds after, you rub your forehead with the palm of your hands just to come back to reality by what this woman just did—an overwhelming quickie that made her cheeks bloat with cum.

Jihyo awaits for you to look at her, soon as you did, she swallows your cum with your cock still in her mouth and pulls out. “This is just a thank you, Oppa,” she said, wiping her lips, licking her fingers, and brushing her hair to the side femininely.

And you couldn’t snap back into reality at all when it was just an overwhelming quickie.

“You’re so lucky that I rather savor the taste of you tonight. Otherwise, I might make you yell at the top of your lungs tonight.”

“Hey, maybe it’s good vocal practice for me.”

“Shut it.”

“Not if I can shut you up first by sitting on your face, Oppa.”

“Enough talking,” you chuckled and she quickly got up to take the chance to shut you up by sitting on your face while you’re laid down already. "Seems like the tables always turn when you're the one seducing me, Jihyo."

“Enjoy as long as you want.” Jihyo smiled, which you couldn’t see when her tits were in your view. You wrap your arms around her thighs, to where she can feel your biceps locking her in. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all to be on top."

You had enough talking when her pussy was right in your face and started with a simple tease to her inner thighs, closer, and closer to kiss her pussy and lick how wet she was already. You can barely hear her moan with her thighs covering your ears, but it is enough to make her squeal and jerk around while you finally get a taste of Jihyo. She digs into your scalp, unintentionally getting a pinch-like feeling out of it with her nails.

“Oppa,” she moaned with her irregular breathing and the small squirms you felt. “Fuck!”

With a grin on your face, you wanted her to regret what she didn’t let you do—eat her at the start of all of this. As you kept eating her out, you didn’t let Jihyo catch her breath but kept going like you wanted her to moan even louder.

And she did start realizing and regret what she didn’t let you do.

Her pussy becomes even more wet with your saliva, also your mouth being a mess. Even if she squirms, your tongue stayed glued and gave her a bundle of sensations. You got her feelings on a rollercoaster with your arms around as her only seatbelt.

Jihyo’s body tenses, arching back and face up to the ceiling, then a erotic moan from her within the breaths she takes every second. She was at her limit, legs twitching and jerking, squirming everywhere like her body wanted to be free from your arms. You suddenly pause from eating her, “You’re not cumming anytime soon.”

She quickly catches her breath. “Oppa,” she said, panting and trying to control her breathing, “you have to let me lay down. I can’t handle this.”

“Free yourself.” Even if you knew thigh muscles were more powerful than arms, you cheated your way through by licking her pussy just so she couldn’t escape as she tried to, which she surrendered herself as you slowly savor Jihyo’s pussy.

She can only admire the view down below where your face was no where to seen but only your hair. “You eat me so fucking good.”

“You taste good, Jihyo.” And you press your tongue against her pussy, slowly up and down to devour her. You did free her however, only to grab onto her tits and gently squeeze them. Her toes curl up, every part of her legs tenses, and Jihyo couldn’t take it anymore by the way you’re eating her in all the right spots.

“Oppa, you’re gonna-” Your tongue circles around her pussy; from the clit, slowly down near her ass, you savor every part of what you’re getting tonight and for the next few days. Jihyo’s moans get louder, screaming and covering her mouth like she’s going to cum if you keep swirling your tongue around. “Oppa,” she groaned erotically and an accidental quick scream.

“Let me enjoy you for a bit longer, Jihyo,” you smiled and slowed down from eating her out. From her thighs, you kiss them passionately and made Jihyo chuckle. “I love your body, Jihyo. I really do.”

“My body goes well with yours, Oppa. You’re muscular, while I have everything you need from a woman’s body.”

“I wouldn’t deny it either. Want to change positions?” Jihyo didn’t answer as you released her from your arms. Once she lay down, you got on top of her and kissed her tits, then traced down her body to her stomach, and lastly, again to her wet pussy that you made a mess of. Jihyo’s legs leaned against your shoulders as you slowly licked her pussy. “How much longer can you take it, Jihyo?”

“Fuck, it’s so sensitive right now. Stop torturing me so much, Oppa,” she laughs, and then moans with her back arching once she felt your tongue digging into her pussy. Jihyo squeezes her tits, moaning even deeper and breaths break into a stream of long pants.

Without a doubt, you wanted Jihyo to cum, not in the hardest way, but calm enough to make Jihyo feel all the sensations. “Cum for me, Jihyo,” you murmured without letting your mouth off of her pussy.

“Fuck!” She moaned loudly, legs jerking, body tensing as you only slowed down to hear her beautiful voice as Jihyo starts to cum. Her legs also pushed you back as you didn't budge but it wasn't enough for your tongue to let go of her clit. As she has her moment, you stare right at her, see Jihyo squeezing her tits when her head was buried deep into the pillow. “Ah!” She clenches her teeth quickly to be quiet at two in the morning and nods side to side once you sucked on her clit, then giving it a kiss as the cherry on top.

“Rest for a bit, then we can go back out.”

“Oppa,” Jihyo said, gasping for air while you waited for her to finish what she wanted to say. “Never mind.” Again, laughing in the most unexpected moments. What Jihyo wanted to say was that she loved how you eat her, but didn’t want to sound like an easy person to please.

You didn’t bother asking and laughed along with Jihyo. “Should we put on some clothes and go to the living room?”

“Mhmm,” she said, smiling with her eyes closed after getting eaten out. You take Jihyo’s hand and made her get up from the bed to dress comfortably. She puts on a shirt—without her bra, panties, and sweatpants that she got out her luggage.

You both leave the bedroom and head to the kitchen. You decide to cut some fruits to arrange on the table. Jihyo, being familiar with the layout of your house, goes to fetch a wine bottle, a couple of beers, and a half bottle of whiskey. As you're busy cutting strawberries and mangoes, you notice her walking back and forth with drinks. Feeling a bit puzzled by the amount she's taking, you chuckle and only look at her. "Jihyo, I don't want you to get too drunk."

“Don’t worry, these are just extras that we might take some sips with.”

You chuckle in a surprised tone, “Sips? I know how you are, Jihyo. Remember when you threw up on my bathroom floor and Nayeon had to clean it?”

“Oppa, stop overreacting. This is a small party for the two of us.”

“Fine. I’ll take care of you if you get drunk tonight then.”

“I won’t get drunk.” She said coming out of the small room that you store all the alcoholic drinks in. You watched as she came out with the final bottle—the whiskey. Jihyo lifted the bottle triumphantly, a smile that she couldn't hide but got to drink with you. "Oppa, this was the bottle that Tzuyu was so adorable after taking a few shots."

“I remembered.” You said, continuing to cut the fruits as Jihyo leans over the counter to patiently look at you cut the fruits. “Mind handing me a plate, Jihyo?”

She hands you a plate and rest her elbow on the counter to look at you. “You look so hot using a kitchen knife.”

You pause, setting aside the task of cutting the last pieces of strawberries, and glance at her. "Are you already drunk?"

“No,” she laughs, “fine, don’t take the compliment then.”

“Fine, don’t take the compliment then,” you playfully mocked her. “Go have a seat, Jihyo. I’ll be there in a few seconds.”

“Need some help? I’ll carry the other plate.” You decide to give her the plate of mangoes and walk behind her to the living room. As soon as she sits, you turn on the lamp and open the blinds slightly to set a calm mood with the night sky in the view.

“Jihyo, I’ll be busy in the afternoon. Hope that’s okay with you.”

“It’s fine. Do what you have to do.”

“Call Jeongyeon or anyone to come over and have some fun while I’m away.”

“It’s alright. I’ll most likely sleep until you come home.” She said, picking up the fork and eating a slice of mango while she contemplates to choose which bottle of alcohol to open.

You glance at the clock on top of the tv—three-thirty in the morning, and look back at Jihyo munching on a strawberry as she makes eye contact with you. “Open the whiskey and let’s have a drink, Jihyo.”

She gladly grabs the whiskey and places it on her chest, tits mashing onto it to give her some leverage. “Oppa,” she said, struggling, “it’s too tight. Can you open it?”

“Gimmie,” you said and twisted the cap easily to pour it into the shot glass. "I might have closed it too tight," you laughed.

“Cheers!” Jihyo said, clinging to each other’s glass and smiling at you before taking the shot. After taking the shot, she sits closer, enough for your thigh to touch hers. You didn’t mind at all. Besides, she feels safer with you than being alone in her apartment. You could clearly tell by her actions.

“Oppa, is Sana getting in the way of you and Tzu?”

“No. Not at all. Why?”

“Sana keeps talking about you in the group chat.”

“Sexually?”

“You know, the way you fuck her. She loves it to the point of sharing with everyone in the chat. Did you know that?”

“Tzu told me a little. But I can’t do anything about it.”

“But how did all of this start? The weekly thing with Sana.” Majority of the members knew that Sana was over every week, but they didn’t know it all started as Jihyo wondered. Which, you couldn’t really come up with an exact answer to.

“It just happened that way. It’s Sana, Jihyo.”

“She's hot, isn't she? I would understand if I were you. Another shot?” She said excitedly. “C’mon, we have all night to ourselves.”

“You’re such a bad influence. Did you forget I’m busy in the afternoon?”

“Wait..then..shouldn’t you sleep? Fuck, we don’t have to this. Maybe next time? Tomorrow night? Or the next?”

“Did you forget? I’m not a human like you said.”

“I didn’t mean it, Oppa. But I think you should sleep instead of staying up with me.” She said with her hands on her chest to show her sincerity.

"It's okay," you say as you take a bite of mango from your fork.

“No, seriously. I think we should just go to sleep. I'll give you something special once we wake up."

“You wanted to stay up. It’s too late to turn back, Jihyo. Let’s just continue."

——

One shot after another, laughter and the clinking of glasses echoed in the air. After an hour, Jihyo's face had turned red. The effects of alcohol were beginning to take her, not just on her, but on you as well. The half-empty bottle of whiskey was completely drained, and she had switched to beer and wine. You couldn't help but anticipate the potential things alcohol would do to her.

“You ever thought of putting a baby in me?” Jihyo said unexpectedly and picked up her cup of beer to take a big gulp.

Even after she spoke, you found yourself at a loss for words. Your mind scrambled to form a response, “I think you’re drunk, Jihyo,” you said, avoiding her question.

“I’m not.” And she gets on top of you, staring right into your eyes, “you never avoid my questions, but is it because it’s too early to talk about this?" Then she tilts her head to the right, "wouldn't you like to see what we created after nine months if we get a chance?"

You discreetly checked her wrist for a pulse, which was beating irregularly due to the alcohol she had consumed. As the room fell silent, you found yourself unable to answer but have to be direct.

“We aren’t in love, Jihyo.” You said, forcing yourself to draw a line between both of you in the most gentle way possible.

“I know we aren't, but it doesn’t change the fact that you would have gotten me pregnant at the start if I wasn’t on a pill.”

“Jihyo,” you chuckled and all flustered, “I mean, I probably would have gotten you pregnant when we first fucked, wouldn’t I?”

"Hey, let's work something out." And she gets closer to your ear, "promise me something. If the stars align, or once everything settles down, I don't want us two to just be all business.”

As confused as you are about what she said, you think she’s clearly drunk saying nonsense things, and at the same time, you were getting buzzed. Perhaps it's because Jihyo is sitting right on top of you, looking hotter than she looked in the dress you saw tonight.

Jihyo is consistently the one who takes the lead in seducing you. She's the woman who effortlessly maintains the conversation, even as you sneak a glance at the clock—five-fifteen in the morning. "J-Jihyo…"

She puts her finger on your lips to shut you up. “I might be drunk, but what I’m saying is what I think of you other than our bodyguard. I may regret what I say once the sun is already up.” And her finger never left your lips. “Shhh. I can’t stand you looking at me so hot.” You stare at her silently, and she rolls up her shirt to only cover you in it with her tits right in your face. The feeling of her tits was warm; they were soft like a pillow. Only you would be able to kiss and suck on them as she held you in without much force but a smile, seeing you under her shirt. You felt her pulse as you explored each side of her tits with your mouth.

As you sucked on her nipple, you could only think of what she was saying while you were also slowly getting buzzed by how fast your heart was beating. It’s all confusing—the atmosphere, the way Jihyo was pleading you for something in return, and even her grinding on your cock got you to endlessly think of an answer.

"Let’s take things slowly," she moaned. “Forget the bed. Let’s do it here first. I can’t stand it anymore,” she whispered with a heavy breath. “I love it when you give my tits attention. I love it so fucking much. I love the way you touch and kiss them.”

You didn’t answer at all when all the attention she gave you was her tits. Seconds later, Jihyo decides to take off her shirt and mash both sides of her tits hard on your face. With a chuckle being heard from Jihyo, she found it cute, so much so to get her even wet and make her panties damp from how turned on she was.

“Oppa,” she moaned from feeling you flicking your tongue on her nipple, and lift you from her tits. You stare right in her eyes, silently seeing how turned on she was. “Let me do you a favor and take off your clothes. May I?”

“I’m not stopping you, Jihyo.”

“You’re really killing me. So damn good.”

“Enough talking. More fucking.”

What you didn’t expect was when she turns off the lamp right beside the couch. Only the moonlight lit the house from the big glass windows and the small faint light from the kitchen. You were enchanted in her spell, seduced and doing it on purpose was one thing—only to see how far Jihyo can seduce you. She slowly takes off your clothes and plant kisses to your neck. “I know you’re loving this, Oppa.”

“I am.”

“Your lips look bored,” Jihyo said. At this point, there was no going back when she’s so drunk right on top of you. Her tone’s different and seductive. You didn’t even bother asking why Jihyo started whispering with no one else in the room except for you. The smell of beer and whiskey lingered from each other’s breath.

Then that would be the last conversation between you two once she quickly takes off her pants and slides her panties to the side. Jihyo puts your cock inside her. Both of you moan quietly when Jihyo sits down and your cock disappears deep inside her pussy. You never forgot how tight and wet Jihyo can get. She never forgot the way your cock stretched her walls, and the way your cock throbs and pulsates is a compliment to Jihyo. She puts her arm on your shoulders, leaning closer to kiss you as she grinds slowly, gradually quickening the pace every second to find a good rhythm.

Your breath gets heavier, breathing right into each other’s mouth and fighting to be the dominant kisser, to the point where you would be the one. All the problems she told you about disappeared because she got what she had been desperate for. After a long day, Jihyo wanted the night to be long until the morning, and you did the right thing to grant her wish—fucking each other until sunrise.

And she found the perfect rhythm to ride you. You grabbed her ass, groping it while you wanted to help her ride you without Jihyo being the one putting in the work. She couldn’t be happier than tonight. Because of you, Jihyo smiled, cried happily, and even gotten to talk to you in the most genuine way before sex.

She felt like the only woman in the world.

The atmosphere turned hotter when Jihyo moaned right in your ear to turn you on even more. You gave her ass a couple gentle slaps, firmly grabbing them every second you could. She decides to free you from her hug and grabs onto the side of your face to look at each other. The deadly and lustful stares she gave you made your heart race even faster.

“Jihyo,” you groaned. Your breathing becomes the heaviest whenever she takes your cock deeper. “Fuck, Jihyo,” and you get a whiff of her neck, kissing and biting it softly to make her moan more seductively.

“Oppa,” she moaned. “Ugh…mhmm, I can feel it throbbing inside.” Jihyo hugs you in right between her tits again. You knew what to do and sucked on her nipple, making her groan seductively in the dark living room. “Let’s go to the room. Fuck me and cum deep inside me. Imagine what we’ll be doing in a couple years, right in the same bed.”

“Such dirty thoughts, Jihyo.” You carry her into the bedroom with your cock still inside. Gently, you fall right onto the bed and penetrate her deeper, pushing onto her thighs the hardest like she wanted. You put her legs together, and she held onto them, assuming that’s what you wanted. With a grin, you penetrated her pussy with each thrust. Your cock in and out of her pussy just to pump and dump the load she will get. Her moans got more erotic, screaming with a visible smile from the corner of her mouth.

“You’re so fucking deep in me,” she murmured and gasped. Also, Jihyo couldn’t hold her legs any longer because of how deeply you were penetrating her tight walls. Jihyo’s leg became weak as if her body had surrendered to you for the better. “Oppa,” she moaned, bursting into a sudden scream, and starts to cum with her legs tensely shaking as she grabs onto your arm to hold.

You didn’t stop at all but thrust harder and faster, as deep as you could get inside Jihyo, and she screamed at the top of her lungs. You lean closer and push her abdomen down with your hands just to make her scream louder, all while making her feel like your cock reached to her stomach. Jihyo covers her mouth with two of her hands, leaning back into the pillow to feel the sensation of you deep inside her. But when sex became this passionate and words were barely spoken, you couldn’t hold out any longer when Jihyo begged to have it all. She deserved it.

You grunt, taking a deep breath, knowing that you’re going to cum. And you do so without telling her at all. She already knew. Jihyo got what she wanted tonight. You grab onto her tits and squeezing them to your desires as you dump every drop of cum deep into her with her thighs being pressed onto yours.

Both of you catch a breath quietly, she holds onto your hand that’s squeezing her tits, and caresses you slowly. “Oppa,” she said, totally exhausted, unable to finish her words.

“Fuck, what time is it?” You wondered, glancing out the window as Jihyo locks you in with her leg around your hip. The sky was no longer as dark, signaling the early stages of dawn. It felt like time had skipped, and you realized you had completely misjudged the hours.

As time distracted you, Jihyo turns you back to her with her hands on your cheek, “how did this turn out so damn passionate?” She laughs cutely and softly with a smile that you can see more clearly. “Oppa,” and she hugs you tightly, squeezing you in, chest against chest. Without completing her intended words, all she can express is gratitude through this heartfelt hug.

Without a doubt, you both were tired from the alcohol and fucking. Jihyo decided to pepper you with kisses, and you thought it was excessive of her. “Your bed is so comfortable, Oppa.”

“And it’s also where you’re going to sleep for the next few days too. Better not go to sleep. Don’t you want to see the sunrise?”

“Mhmm.”

You get off of her to lay beside her, together facing at the window naked, and slowly see the sunrise in the distance. “Jihyo,” you said silently.

“Yes, Oppa?”

“Sober now?”

“Did I mistakenly say something? Fuck..”

From her response, it became evident that she harbored some kind of feeling that you don’t know. The words that she said when drunk was for sure something she has been thinking about you. It’s always alcohol getting the best out of Jihyo. “You didn’t say anything wrong,” you said, assuring and hiding the words that she may be embarrassed of.

What you were unaware of is that she never saw you merely as Twice's bodyguard; rather, she can envision a future with you. It was only her pride that held her back. The only method she could think of to bring herself closer to you was through her discreet approach of spending several days with you, hoping to witness a different side of you. As the sun continued to rise, she closed her eyes with a pleasant smile.

"Jihyo," you softly whisper, "Jihyo?" And you gently lean in to catch a glimpse of her. She's fast asleep, peacefully resting with your arm wrapped around her, providing a comforting embrace.

Despite you assuming that she was sleeping, she pretended to sleep. Jihyo knew you were busy later and wanted to ensure you had some time to rest. You fell quickly asleep, wrapping your arms around her, and she couldn't help but blush at the warmth of your body gave off after fucking.

After several minutes of you completely knocking out, Jihyo slowly removes your arm off of her and quietly leaves the bedroom all naked to clean up the small mess you both left in the living room. She returns the beer and wine to their original places, disposing of the empty whiskey bottle and extra cans of beer in the recycling bin. The clothes that both of you wore were placed in the laundry, ready for her to wash once you've left the house.

The sun reached its peak, casting a warm glow as Jihyo returned to bed and held you in to her tits as a pillow. “Oppa, I think I like you more than what we currently are.” She confessed quietly, embarrassed to face you knowing that you didn’t feel the same.

#kpop smut #twice smut #jihyo smut #park jihyo

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 8 days ago

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reading updates: april 2025

HI wow what a month! 2025 felt like it was going REAL FAST until about mid-March, and ever since then it's slowed to a sort of molasses. despite the seeming influx of extra time I read much less in April than I have in any of the previous months this year - this is the first month I haven't even cracked double digits! which is fine, of course, it's not a competition, but it is interesting to think about what slowed me down so drastically.

(just kidding, it's not a mystery. it's heaps and heaps of stress. oops!)

ANYWAY. fortunately April's book haul has largely been a case of quality of over quantity, introducing me to several books that I think are guaranteed to land on my year-end best-of list. without further ado:

what have I been reading?

Under the Skin: The Hidden Toll of Racism on American Lives and on the Health of Our Nation (Linda Villarosa, 2022) - I checked this book out last month alongside Dr. Uché Blackstock's memoir, Legacy: A Black Physician Reckons With Racism in Medicine, as kind of a mini-series on racial bias in the American medical system. while I feel like I broadly learned more overall from Villarosa, thanks to her taking a journalistic approach that allows for a broader scope than Blackstock can achieve by primarily focusing on her personal experiences, I found that the two books complemented each other extremely well and each served to bolster and deepen the other. one major advantage of Villarosa's work is the geographic variability and the ability to meet healthcare workers and patients from a much wider range of places than Blackstock's New York hospitals, with particular focus on poor communities in southern states. Villarosa's writing has a strong, compassionate, deeply curious voice that makes her subjects incredibly vivid, rendering them with dignity even as their medical nightmares are laid bare. it was an incredible read and one that had been languishing on my TBR for a while, and I'm very glad I finally made the time.

Earthlings (Sayaka Murata, 2018, trans. Ginny Tapley Takemori, 2020) - while I didn't love this novel quite as much as Murata's briefer wonder, Convenience Store Woman, it did cement Murata as an author whose work absolutely fascinates me. her grasp of trauma and alienation is incredible, and she has a way of depicting unconventional desire in a way that's unlike anything I've ever seen. I'm supremely excited to read more of her work.

The Love Hypothesis (Ali Hazelwood, 2021) - in case you haven't already heard the news: I read the alleged Reylo laboratory AU romance novel expecting to be a big hater and I ended up loving it. joke's on me! you win this round, Ali Hazelwood.

Crying in H Mart (Michelle Zauner, 2021) - listen: you never want to be the guy saying that a woman's memoir about losing her mother to a painful and sudden cancer isn't that sad. to be clear, it is an extremely sad book! Zauner does an incredible job rendering the all-consuming pain of nursing her mother through her final days, a pain devastatingly unique to everyone who experiences it. in this case, the biracial Zauner also has the daunting sense of losing not only her mother but also a core part of her identity, struggling to figure out how to be a Korean American woman without the connection her mother provided. it's a tragedy! it's several tragedies all in one place, make no mistake! but I also feel like I've spent YEARS hearing this book hyped up as The Saddest Book Ever, and perhaps I've just read too many sad memoirs but it was like. it was fine. it's just fine. solid B+, not mad I read it, but I have read sadder. probably I am going to hell for this.

Liquid: A Love Story (Mariam Rahmani, 2025) - I was super excited for Rahmani's debut novel, which has a compelling premise: stuck in a stagnating academic career and with her parents nagging her to wed, an unnamed queer Iranian-American woman decides to go on 100 dates across Los Angeles to find a likely candidate for a marriage that can bring her financial security. her plans inevitably go awry when a family tragedy requires her to travel to Iran, where her goals are brought more sharply into focus - and she ultimately resolves her romantic quandary. it's a stylish book, almost painfully so; I can't say I'd recommend this to anyone who dislikes literary fiction because GOD is this Literary Fiction, our protagonist deeply preoccupied with her own witty malaise and caustic observations. she's a little awful and I liked her a lot, but I also think that the resolution Rahmani brings her protagonist to was devastatingly expected - and unfortunately, no amount of self-aware lampshading actually makes it less predictable. I'm conflicted! it felt like a lot of building up to not a lot of payoff, but I'm compelled all the same and I'm hoping to see more of Rahmani in the future.

Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender (Kit Heyam, 2022) - god, what a delight of a book. Heyam takes a gorgeously open approach to what constitutes "trans history", casting their net wide to recognize gender nonconformity far beyond contemporary understandings of what it means to be transgender. Heyam advocates for a wide recognition of experiences throughout history: people whose gender identities were shaped by non-Western religions and cultures, those whose identities blurred between same-gender attraction and a desire to be recognized as a different gender than the one expected of them, those whose transgressions of gendered boundaries can't be proven to be align strictly with 21st century ideas of transness. Heyam's approach is one of radical inclusiveness, seeking not to "prove" any particular understandings of transness in historical figures but simply to point at a long, global history of people living outside of a gender binary and weave all of these instances together in the understanding that all of these experiences support and bolster each other in affirming that across time, language, and culture, people bucking gender norms have always existed. reading this book felt like holding a mug of hot chocolate.

Afterparties (Anthony Veasna So, 2021) - genuinely impossible for me to talk about this short story collection without acknowledging that it was published posthumously by So's mother and partner after he died very young. I will freely admit that the first story did not grab me, and since I'm fussy about short stories I might well have set down the book after that if not for the strange sense that I was holding a small representation of a man's life in my hands. I guess that's always the case with a book, but somehow it felt extra sharp here. in any case, I'm glad I stuck it out; So's stories about Cambodian immigrant communities in California are messy and loving and sorrowful and silly, delving deep into the sadness that can cling to a family for generations. I'd be absolutely remiss not to pay particular attention to the final story, "Generational Differences," in which So writes from the point of view of his own mother, talking to his child self and recounting a tragedy. it's a brave and vulnerable approach that I've never encountered before, and it's really something special.

an obligatory update on my book bingo sheets: as usual, the sheet that I'm filling in opportunistically is thriving, with the addition of Liquid completing another bingo and getting me very close to two more

and the list of books that I specifically planned out is LANGUISHING

finger crossed for May, when I'm hoping to cross at least two more off the list...

#bookblr #reading updates

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purpdrawsthings · 4 months ago

Text

I SWEAR THIS IS THE FINAL ONE

God this app is going to be the end of me.

For anyone asking where their oc was, don't be afraid to ask me! =3

@ominus-potato @h4ppysoki @fenicearts420 @icedbeverageenjoyer @alex-dolmatescu2-0 @zenith-astral @moonlight12086 @sakuwura-meow-meow @josiekatxd @echostarsys @neo91502 @smgx-pez

Special mentions!

@birdy-four @scimagic @fruit-sy

Links to the two past posts!

First

Second

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE DAMN ANIMATIC CUZ I NEED TO.

Finally.. With that settled..

Was this worth it? Idfk.

I am so burnt out..

This thing was made in both Flipaclip and Alight motion. Give all the thanks to my fingers and thumb chat 💜💜💜💜

Now this thing was originally supposed to premier on the 31st right at new years. Problem was, IT HAD 2K+ FRAMES AND I STARTED AT THE 21ST. WORSE, I DECIDED THAT IT WAS THE AMAZING DECISION TO ADD 85 PEOPLE AND DID NOT PLAN THIS. This thing has got me doubting myself, I think I almost went crazy.

I did 500 frames for the first day then 200.. Then 100... THEN LESS THAN 100. By the 31st, new years had past. Meaning it was outdated. Might as well finish it right? I took a break for almost week before going back at the project thinking "WHAT AM I DOING??". I finished by yesterday and uh.. I did like 500+ frames from yesterday cuz I was that desperate to get rid of my misery. I edited the thing today and everything was ready right?

WRONG.

I HAD TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM OF ME ADDING THE 4 MINUTE ANIMATION IN THE POST, WAITING FOR IT TO SAVE, ONLY FOR IT TO REJECT ME. This went on for a total of 3 hours with me just WAITING for it to let it save while I watched videos from my tv. Eventually, I gave up and decided to split the video.

Thought that was end? NO. I REALIZED THAT I COULDN'T PUT 2 VIDEOS IN ONE POST, NOR CAN I ADD MORE THAN 50 MENTIONS IN ONE POST. These past few hours was stressful my god. Finally seeing it end was a relief.

I am NOT doing this again.

Anyways, with that outta the way.. I'll get on with my uh.. Statement for Christmas!

Thank you for everyone for an amazing and awesome year. It's been a wonderful one and I cant express the amount of gratitude and love to each every person I've met this year. Even if it was for a short while, I still enjoyed every moment.

I can't believe that joining one fandom would get me this far, it blows my mind because of how many connections I've able to make because of this one fandom. I give my highest gratitude to the SMG4 community, and the amazing people who are in it.

I started my early days in this internet in amino. Although small, it let me explore new stuff and new people. And to that, ill say a thank you to all of my among us friends, and the community itself. This whole fandom inspired me to make my own series, create my own ocs from scratch, and slowly grow. Although during that period I didn't get the amount of attention I have now, it was a great, small place to start off as a small creator.

Back to the SMG4 community, I would like to say thank you for 200+ followers on both Tumblr and Twitter! Old me would've exploded so many times because of that milestone. I can't believe I have so many people I look up to that actually follow me, like what you guys actually notice me?! I'd like to say so much more but it just really flabbergasted me of how far I've gotten. I can't even think of the words or anything! All I can say is thank you for the experiences I've had. All of this couldn't have been done without you.

It's time for some little statements for all the people I adore.

@tiredsmashbros @strange0-0storm @its-a-me-mango @cookiepopcat - Omg I see y'all as the big artists of the community sishsishishdid interacting with every single one of you was a pleasure and it was amazing! I don't usually interact with people I admired or looked up to due to me being a bit shy.. But y'all are so amazing! Everytime any one of you would reply to my posts, I get a huge squeel! I was getting noticed like help??? You guys are like one the first few artists that I saw when starting in the community, you guys can't imagine how much of an inspiration you all are to me, and for that, thank you for everything, big or small! 💜💜💜

@rr3d2y @mikchi8 - AKO AND MIKCHI YOU TWO SILLY PPL GUHHHHHHH. First off, AKO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! YOU'RE LITERALLY MY FIRST SMG4 RELATED FREN!! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT OUR FIRST INTERACTION QUICKLY JUST MADE US FRIENDS LIKE, YOU SO COOL??? AND MIKCHI, ALTHOUGH WE DON'T INTERACT OFTEN, I FIND YOU SILLY, AND GOOFY. STOP PUTTING PREGNANT EMOJIS GUHHHH!!!! /silly You two are so silly sihsisgdishsishdidg love you two 💜💜💜💥💥💥💥

@coralalala64 @bear-boi-5 @libbytwq - You three are also silly like what. SOYYYYYYY I fucking love ur artstyle it's so recognizable.. I LOVE UR VIRAL VIRUS AU!!! I swear I look at EVERY SINGLE POST relating to the AU like I AIN'T JOKING I READ ALL OF THEM YES THAT'S WHAT I DO IN MY FREE TIME. The way you incorporate horror into your drawings is amazing, IT JUST WORKS! Coral you goof stop spreading the creachurs everywhere now my place stinks... /silly anyways, YOUR TRADITIONAL ARTSTYLE IS AMAZING! I FIRST SAW YOU THROUGH YOUR SILLY CREACHUR DOODLES AND I LOVED THEM!! TALKING TO YOU IS ALSO AMAZING CUZ YOU SO FUNNY! Somebody kick Ignatius away from SMGL:E /silly LORE YOU SO COOL!!!! THE THINGS YOU ARE WORKING ON WITH L:E ARE SO INTERESTING PLEASE DO KEEP ON COOKING I WILL EAT IT. I swear to god I don't know I how this all happened but I swear you three are cool af. 💥💥💥💥✨✨✨✨

@michealscorneroftheinternet @grinnames - WHERE TO FUCKING START... Micheal, I. Love. Your. AU's. SHOUTOUT TO @dorriostareyes TOO CUZ YOU COOL! I SHOULD'VE ADDED YOU IN THE SPECIAL MENTIONS GUHHHHHHH I'M SORRY!!!!! Continuing.. I LOVE YOUR THREE AU'S, UNDERTALE AU? AMAZING. CHANGE IN SCRIPT? ABSOLUTE CINEMA. THE FALLEN? AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE!!!! You can't imagine how much I love your content... I won't stop making fanart for you so that I'll actually explode your circuits =3 /silly /hj GRINNAMES I LOVE YOUR GODBOX AU. LIKE I LOVE ME TWO CORRUPTED SMG'S CONTROLLED BY THE GODBOX 💜💜💜 They are so silly like they could on a killing spree.. OH ALSO UR ARTSTYLE IS VERY VERY PRETTY. I LOVE IT! You two have amazing AU'S like god aishoahsoshsoshsohsosh💥💥💥💥💥💥

@icedbeverageenjoyer @h4ppysoki @jovialoddity @bidinonsense @fbanjex @4thwallbreakerdraws2 - do they all have in common? MR PUZZLES! Every time I see yalls Puzzles content I have a smile on my face that I can't describe cuz yalls Puzzles content is so peak, I LOVE ME SOME SILLY HANDSOME TV MEN CONTENT THANK YOU!!!!! Oh btw @alex-dolmatescu2-0 don't worry you're invited to the club too don't be shy 💜💜💜

@eliscz @opossol @theartistisme43 - YOU ALL SO COOL LIKE SOSHSIDHDODHOSHDODHD. Opposol I know you aren't involved in the SMG4 community much but I love ur content it's just so amazing and I love the cartoons kinda fuzzy art style. Elis also know you're in your sun n' moon hyper fixation phase but broadcast madness au is PEAK. Cantro I love your scarred verse like it a so interesting I love scarred SMG4 sm. Someone beat up that tv man 😔💥💥💥 /silly

@art-parasi-te @superluigiglitchy - You two are amazing people! Hamlos you should know by now that I am actually kinda into Dandys World and I even have my own oc so.. IDFK WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHAT AM I SPITTING??? Squib yaoi gotta be my fav ship 💜 PJ! I love ur silly Oliver squib yaoi content like HE IS SO CUTE SOMEBODY MAKE A MARKETABLE PLUSHIE OUT OF HIM!! So yeah you two so coollllllll ✨✨✨✨✨

This animatic was made to express my gratitude and love to every single on fo the people in this community, featured or not, you are all awesome. Hopefully this will get some smaller creators the attention they deserve 💜

Big or small, we all can achieve out dreams, next year ;)

Merry Christmas / holidays everyone 💜

I am so not okay chat

#smg4 #smg4 au #new year #happy new year #christmas

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felassan · 10 months ago

Text

Snippets. 🐺💜

For Game Informer’s July 17th DA:TV article, "BioWare On Returning To The Dragon Age Series, 10 Years After Inquisition", the article is still titled as such on its own page, but it looks like on the GI DA:TV Hub page its listing was updated to "Dragon Age: The Veilguard Is 'Respectful And Referential' To Previous Games Without Making Them Mandatory"

[previous comment for context - Brenon: "we do have "decision saves" before big choice moments, but there are still a bunch that depend on a whole mess of stuff you've done earler...so yeah...RIP"]. Derek on this: "Choice and consequence, baby." [source]

[context: DA official Twitter's news about what's coming in August] Derek: "Buckle up!" [source]

Bryony Corrigan (Rook) on the strike: "I care a lot about this game! @/dragonage. Gutted we are unable to speak more about the game for now but absolutely in solidarity with actors in the US. I hope @/EquityUK are also fighting for better protection against AI clauses in the UK too…!" [source]

Matt Rhodes recently wrote to his mailing list that "The project I’ve been working on for many years is nearing completion. In my rare free moments, I’ve been starting to organize concept art to start posting after the game ships." [source] So it sounds like DA:TV is nearing completion and that he will be posting DA:TV concept art that he created after release. [This] is the link to his website where you can view his art, including some existing DA:TV and previous DA game concept art. If you click the envelope symbol on this page, that's how you can subscribe to the mailing list

from Community Councilmember Ladyinsanity - Lucanis x Rook apparently might be an "angst pairing" and there's maybe another one of these in the game also...? 👀 [source]

A user mentioned that they aren't keen on the word "roadmap". Michael Gamble explained: "all it means is a list of cool things you can expect to see us showing." [source]

Bellara's family name Lutare wasn't recently changed as some users wondered, it was Lutare at least a year ago during development. It seems it was just mis-printed or mis-reported in the GI coverage [source]

This article describes DA:TV as the most beautiful game the writer saw at SGF. It says the prologue is dated 9 years after DA:I. "Varric isn’t a ginger so much as a grizzled gray fox now". On Solas, he "wants to tear down the Veil that separates Thedas from the world of demons, restoring his people’s immortality and glory and sacrificing thousands in the process. But when his ritual goes awry, two of his most ancient and powerful adversaries are released. They seek only to finish what they started millennia ago – the complete and utter domination of our world." The game moves quite seamlessly from action to cutscene, and in the prologue "every cutscene is clearly building toward something larger". Position matters in combat. There is an accessibility option which involves the path-tracing of enemies' ranged attacks. At the beginning of the demo, the devs mentioned that they thought about the way different lighting affects your character. " The animations associated with combat are complex for one reason: responsive character features." CC has "inclusion of thick curly hair and capturing the tightly curled texture of Black hairstyles and natural hair", customizable shoulder-width and "a much-welcomed broad spectrum of skin tones—capturing both cool and warm undertones of both white and brown skin". The article highlighted the fluid movement of cloth. The writer also said, "I’m sure other Summer Game Fest previews will have a lot to say on the evolving relationship between Varric and Solas". [source] ((I don't remember seeing this article til now, it's from June though so I either missed it or have seen it and forgotten. also I don't know how accurate it is but the writer was one of the attendees of the DA:TV demo at SGF))

[character limit text break!]

Malcolm: "When I joined DA:Ve I was really hoping there'd be a romanceable dwarf companion and boy howdy did that come true. Harding is ☀️delightful☀️" [source]

[context: this Tumblr post of some neat art] Malcolm: "This is amazing and I fully went "oh wow that really sounds like Emmrich" before remembering that Nick Boraine is in fact a entire human person." [source]

User: "Speaking of Stalker, as a player the description of Bellara and Veil Jumper i've heard so far, alongside their exploration of Arlathan, somehow reminds me of Clear Sky and Chornobyl in Stalker series..." John Epler: "great eye! roadside picnic, Annihilation and STALKER were all absolutely inspirations" [source]

John Epler: "time to slowly make my way home after an awesome 4 days. thanks for an amazing experience to everyone who was a part of it. back to work." [source]

User: "We know there are returning characters in The Veilguard, so my question is: How would you and the rest of the writers go about writing a returning character who was originally primarily written by a writer who is no longer at the studio? What is the process?" Trick Weekes: "1. Watch videos to get the performance, how the character speaks. 2. Don’t try to replicate the character exactly. Allow them to have grown. Morrigan in DAI wasn’t Morrigan in DAO. She’d grown up. 3. Trust Character Art and Performance/VO. As soon as Morrigan walks in and talks in DAI, it works." [source]

Ali Hillis (Harding) on Twitter: "@dragonage @/bioware @/BioWarePulse @/ea #/DragonAge #/SDCC #/SDCC2024 FOLLOW ON INSTA FOR MORE!" [source]

Alex Jordan (Rook): "To all the D&D loving Dragon Age fans out there, let me tell you about my D&D group, made up of faces from the games industry! Including the voices of Geralt from The Witcher, Clive from Final Fantasy XVI, and Noah from Xenoblade! We are ⁦@/NaturalSix ⁩#/DragonAge" [source]

Erika Ishii (Rook): "Grateful I got to spend SDCC celebrating my roles in 2 games I love. Thank you to the devs (including laid-off workers who deserve full credit!), my friends, and the community. This is the last you’ll hear from me about my games from struck companies until they sign an interim agreement or the strike is won. Keep playing games, but share info from the union and let people know we’re taking a stand for all creatives. See you on the other side! ✊🏼🎮" [source]

Jeff Berg (Rook): "Damn, I love making video games. It’s like the perfect blending of theatre on film, where an actor is encouraged to collaborate and let their imaginations soar. And damn, do I ever love the incredible support from the fans of this incredible medium. Unfortunately, we’re in a time of upheaval in the industry. So let me make it perfectly clear: Video game performers deserve fair wages, safe working conditions and A.I. protections. I call on the employers to #/LevelUpTheContract. Guys, this is no single player game. We need you on our team. #/SagAftraStrong #/VideoGameStrike". Text in the accompanying video reads “Video game performers are stuck in a grind. AI is stealing voices, and companies are hoarding profits. The future of voiceover and performance capture artists is at stake. But out fight isn’t single-player. Whether you’re a gamer, a fan, a performer, a labor ally, or just someone believes in fairness. Keep video games people powered. We need you on our team. Video game companies must offer AI protections to ALL video game performers. Join me and show your support for those who bring our favorite games to life.” [source]

Jessica Clark (Neve): "Aaah a true bucket list moment!! Thrilled to play Neve Gallus a Private Investigator & one of the companions in the upcoming DragonAge The Veilguard Video Game!! We are appearing at the San Diego Comic Con as we speak!! With so much thanks & appreciation for the most fantastic team @/bioware & inspiring fellow cast members including (not limited to) @/missalihillis @/nickboraine @/zach.mendez @/jeffberg1 & more 🙏🏽 Draon Age The Veilguard releases this Fall 2024 & from what I've seen... It's truly epic!! You will love it & yes, it's worth the wait. (SAG-AFTRA issued us a specific window to promote & celebrate at Comic Con & from Sunday night onwards we will all be joining our fellow actors in the picket line for the Video Game Strike)." Text in the accompanying video reads "I’ve wanted to share this for so long! Thrilled to reveal that I play Neve Gallus in the upcoming Dragon Age The Veilguard!! Appearing at Comic Con San Diego as we speak” [source]

[source]

Jessica: "Last night's Comic Con San Diego's Fandom red carpet celebrating Dragon Age The Veilguard! Releasing this Fall 2024!!" [source]

Zach Mendez (Lucanis): "A truly amazing first day of SD Comic Con at the @/dragonagegame poster signing at @/darkhorsecomics booth. Thank you to the fans who made my first con unforgettable #/sdcc /#sdcomiccon #/dragonage #/darkhorsecomics #/lucanisdellamorte #/voiceacting #/bioware #/eagames #/theveilguard #/babysfirstcon" [source]

Zach: "Dragon Age. Dancing. Derulo. Thanks @/fandom for a killer party" [source]

Nick Boraine (Emmrich): "Thank you @/bioware @/ea and @/comic_con - had an incredible time! #/dragonage #/theveilgaurd #/emmrichvolkarin @/zach.mendez @/missalihillis @/thejessicaroseclark - can’t wait for the fall release date." [source]

Ali: "Honored and thrilled to have been a part of another epic @/bioware story w @/ea . Thanks from the bottom of my heart to the whole team! We worked hard, and put our all into this one. Can’t wait to see you all at #/sdcc2024 this week to celebrate @/dragonagegame #/dragonageveilguard" [source]

Ali: "1st day of San Diego Comic Con 2024 !! The lines were long and the signings so much fun! Met some really nice fans, hung out w dragon age performance director @/ashley___barlow , companions @/thejessicaroseclark @/zach.mendez & Nick Boraine . So SO grateful for this #/dragonageveilguard family!" [source]

Ali: "I love every one of these people. There, I said it! What a warm welcome we received! Thanks to ALL! For EVERYTHING!" [source]

Ali on SDCC: "Gooooooood times. ❤️" [source]

Here is a 'behind the scenes at the DA:TV SDCC panel' photo -

[source]

Here is a photo of Erika Ishii with Rook's blue knife -

[source]

Here is an excerpt from Brianne Battye's website:

Text reads: "Dragon Age: The Veilguard Defy the gods. Rise as Rook, Dragon Age’s newest hero. Be who you want to be and play how you want to play as you fight back and lead your team of seven companions, each with their own rich story. Together, you will become the Veilguard. Coming soon From EA/BioWare. I was responsible for a companion story arc, significant side characters, faction content, exploration content, and helping develop and expand worldbuilding lore."

[source]

Also, last year Zach Mendez (Lucanis) made a prior podcast appearance:

Zach: "I was lucky enough over the pandemic to have just hit a really nice commercial, and then I got this beautiful job on a video game where I was doing motion capture. Motion capture? Okay, so you put on this leotard, this black suit, and those little dots on, and you do all the motion for a video game, and you get to do the voice, and they put all these black lines on your face, so they capture your performance and whatnot. And so I was doing that and had some commercial money, so throughout the pandemic, for the past few years, I’ve just been getting to live off acting, which is great." -- Zach: "[Voiceover is] what I'm working on right now." -- Zach: "My father's from Spain." -- Zach: "I'm currently working on a video game, I can't say which video game." "It is a big one, it's not a big deal, it's a big one, I'm one of the main characters, it's not that big a deal." The interviewer asked about how acting in video games works. "Somebody's giving some performance that of course, they layer on imaging afterwards, like in graphics, right? But you're giving facial expressions, that's what gives it the reality, that's what I find so fascinating about motion capture, is that, you get to give big performances, because you're playing these crazy characters in crazy situations, and a lot of your performance is coming through in the final product which is, just gets me excited about the future of things about all the different ways. It's my voice, a lot of my facial features, I voice, I think, one or two characters in this game."

[source (dated ~a year ago. source link isn’t work-appropriate. I don’t recommend the podcast)]

#dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age the veilguard spoilers #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #morrigan #queen of my heart #solas #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #covid mention #first bullet point was mentioned to me by the-rebel-archivist #ty!#k #(actor soc media posts from before strike began)

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souliebird · 1 year ago

Text

[[and then I met you || ch. 12||

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Words: 5k

banner thanks to the wonderful @theradioactivespidergwen

Even in the middle of the night, the heat of summer in Hell's Kitchen is oppressive. It doesn't help that there is a storm rolling in and it is so humid Matt feels like he's breathing in water. Sweat is pouring off of him and he's glad he opted out of wearing his red armor - he has the feeling he would have overheated within an hour.

The only good thing about it pushing eighty degrees at two am is that only people that have to be out are out. Even though it is Saturday night/ Sunday morning, the streets are empty and Matt has only encountered people on their way back home. He hasn't even needed to scare off any muggers or stop any break ins. In fact, all he has really done all night is track people to make sure they got to their destinations safely.

There was a small surge of people around midnight coming off the trains and they had been rowdy, but hadn't caused any problems. Matt quickly worked out they were part of the protesters who have been crowding outside the courthouse for the past few days and deemed they were not a threat to his beloved city.

He's spoken to a few of them while at the courthouse and he fully supports their cause and their right to protest. Admittedly, Matt is not one to stay on top of current events, but he thinks it is suspicious that the government will not reveal what caused the massive explosion in Connecticut. It's been weeks but instead of answers, it feels like everything about the incident is being shoved under the rug and Matt knows if it was closer to home, Karen would be chomping at the bit to investigate.

Over six hundred people lost their lives and no one is being brought to justice for it. They are saying it was an attack, but no one is claiming ownership or being blamed for the destruction. It makes him angry, and though this isn't his fight, he'll do his part protecting the voices in his community who demand the truth.

Tonight, it seems like his community is safe and Matt will be able to get more than two hours of sleep before he needs to go to Mass. He needs to do a final pass around the neighborhood before he turns in for the night, so he pushes himself up from where he has been crouching like a gargoyle and stretches his limbs. His knees pop and his back screams at him and he decides that despite the heat, he will take a scorching shower to soothe his muscles. He may not have gotten into any big fights the past few nights, but that doesn't matter to his body - it's always aching and throbbing in one way or another.

He pulls his mask down over his face, hating how it instantly makes his forehead sticky and wet, and starts his loop.

He starts at the top of 10th and weaves across and down until he passes Foggy and Marci’s apartment. He pauses across the street and crouches down as he tunes his ears to their bedroom. They are both in a deep sleep and there is no threat he can detect, but still he stays for a minute just to be sure. Daredevil may have complicated his best friend's life, but Foggy has never had trouble making his own enemies. He may not be a vigilante, but his sense of justice is just as strong as Matt's and that has caused people to come at him violently. Someone breaking in is not out of the question.

Marci has her own enemies but if anyone ever tries to come after her, well, Matt will pray for their soul because not even he is that self-destructive. She once made a joke about becoming a crime lord and he still has the occasional nightmare over it.

Matt scans the surrounding buildings for any problems once more before he starts off towards Karen's place. She was still awake when he last passed her building and the odds of her still being up are pretty even. He wouldn't be surprised to find her typing away at some article - stirring up the pot as always. He loves her for that personality trait, even if it mentally puts him through the ringer with worry over her - he supposes it is nothing compared to what he does to her.

But luckily, for the collective sanity of Nelson, Murdock, and Page, more people care about Karen's well-being than care about Matt's.

He knows she has Jessica's number on speed dial - letting them meet is one of his greatest regrets in life. He is well aware of the cameras set up by Frank's computer friend and while the Marine is out of town, he's left her with another layer of protection - his dog Max.

Not that Karen can't take care of herself.

If she and Marci teamed up to take over Manhattan, Matt doesn't know if he could stop them.

Maybe he'll tell her that for her birthday - it will make a better gift than anything he'd be able to think of.

Matt lands on the roof of Karen's building, relieved to find she has gone to sleep since he last checked on her. She must have let the dog get in bed with her, because it's snoring is making it hard for him to tune into her without concentration. She's safe and seemingly happy, so he lingers only a moment before resuming the last dredges of his patrol.

He heads down to the docks next. There are people there, but they are meant to be - prepping for the fish markets and early morning cargo ships. These are good, hard working men who don't dabble in things that would make the Devil hunt them. In fact, he's got a good contact in one of the fish mongers, who will let him know if there's been anything suspicious in the wee hours of the morning. He doesn't need to check in now, as there have been no whispers as of late, and he disappears back into the shadows of the city to head towards Clinton Church.

Matt's stomach turns as he gets closer to where he grew up. His feelings about the location and the people there have been a ridiculous rollercoaster since he found out he was a father.

He deeply misses Father Lantom. Despite what everyone has told him, he firmly blames himself for the man's death and does not understand why God made that choice. It hurts that he isn't here and Matt can barely bring himself to go into the church - he's only started to re-attend Mass since learning about Minnie to seek guidance from God about this new path. He'd give anything to be able to speak to the man who mentored him in life - to hear what he would say about Matt having a daughter.

It isn't that Matt dislikes the new priest - he just doesn't like him. He's resistant to change and it should be Father Lantom giving Communion and taking his Confession.

It should be Father Lantom who Baptizes Minnie, not this man Matt has never even spoken with.

Maggie is trying to get Matt to interact with the man, but his relationship with her is going through a rocky patch and he hasn't actually spoken with her in about two weeks. She hasn't done anything wrong - he is just having an internal crisis over how learning he is a parent changed him and his abandonment issues. He's spent a lot of time in reflection and understands why she left him and his father, but he now has a renewed anger at her for not telling him the truth sooner.

Did she not love him like he loves Minnie? Was it something he did wrong?

Will she love Minnie like she loved Matt? He trusts her to care for his daughter, but will she love her granddaughter the way she deserves to be loved?

Everything is made more complicated over how guilty he is over having these feelings and so, instead of talking to his mother, he's been avoiding her. He knows he needs to eventually address it, but for the moment Maggie is none the wiser about his mini-me.

He'll tell her after he tells you about her.

It is something he needs to do still - it just hasn't come up yet. Most of your conversations center around Minnie and you are still getting to know each other. You've shared few stories about your childhood - mostly about school - and Matt isn't so sure how your anxiety will handle Maggie. His mother is a good person, but she is a lot and he knows you have your own parent issues.

Like at the docks, there are people active at the Church. A few homeless patrons are seeking shelter before the rain and there is a nun tending to their needs. The kids are safely tucked into bed, and while it sounds like a few are having nightmares, there is nothing he can do for them at the moment.

If they wake and cry out, he prays their calls are answered.

Matt practically flees the sacred grounds and his anxiety only settles once he crosses into Chelsea.

As he runs, he hones his senses to the apartment building you live in. It is easy for him to lock onto - he's already spent countless hours perched on the boundaries of the two neighborhoods listening to you and Minnie sleep. He knows it is creepy, but he cannot help himself.

Minnie’s laugh is his new favorite sound, and not far behind it is your heartbeat. Much like his daughter, he's found himself focusing on it when things get too much and it is the perfect way to end patrols - winding down while you and Mouse dream.

You mumble in your sleep and it is the most endearing thing he's ever encountered. He likes to respond to your strange statements, imagining he's right there in bed with you. There has been a recurring theme of parrots and he is thinking that the bird exhibit will be off limits during Minnie’s birthday trip to the zoo, based on what he's heard.

But it isn't you mumbling in your apartment tonight - it's Minnie.

His daughter is awake and has moved from the bedroom to the living room. The television is on - playing what he thinks is Sesame Street - and she seems to be fussing with a toy. Context clues tell him she's playing with a doll or stuffed animal - dress up is one of her favorite games and he knows it is one of her Quiet Games.

“Nexts,” she says sweetly to her toy, “we gotta do your make ups.”

Matt decides to wait until he's landed on the roof before he makes her aware of his presence. He kneels and takes a moment to center himself, taking a deep breath to do so. He focuses on calming the Devil in his chest - this is the first time he's caught Minnie awake in the middle of the night and he needs to address it as Matt and not Daredevil.

He doesn't want to scare her, after all. She'll probably be very confused as to why he's there and being scared won't help anything.

“Minnie, sweetheart, can you hear me?” He asks, keeping his voice soft as possible as he does.

To her credit, she doesn't start at all. It takes her a moment to process, but then she questions, “Daddy?”

The name makes his heart soar - everytime she says it, he breaks into the biggest smile. It is the sweetest sound and the fact she switched to calling him that all on her own means the world to him.

She wants him to be her Daddy.

“Yeah, sweetheart, it's me. What are you doing awake?” he questions, smiling as he hears her get up and start to walk around. He wonders if she is looking for him and his guess is confirmed when he hears her start lifting things up to look under them.

“I'm watching Cookie Monsters,” she replies and Matt chuckles. He thinks it is so adorable she is also so direct with her answers. She always answers exactly what is asked.

“I don't think it is time for Cookie Monster, Mouse. I think it's sleep time. Mommy is sleeping.”

You are in a deep sleep, your breathing slow and even. He can tell you've been exhausted lately and probably need the sleep. More than once he's found you awake during his patrols. If Minnie tried to wake you up, you probably weren't responsive and she had left you to sleep.

She peters her way back to in front of the television and plops back down after checking under the dining table. Matt waits for her to respond, knowing sometimes it takes her time to form what she wants to say.

“I can't sleep,” she mumbles, upset clear in her voice, “there's a monster.”

The Devil flares up inside of him and he instantly scans the area for a threat. There are few people awake in the area and he focuses in on them - none of them appear to be any sort of danger to his daughter. At the moment.

But they could have been earlier. They could have woken her up by doing something horrible. A mugging. Domestic violence. Something worse.

He curls his lip into a snarl.

He'll find whoever upset his daughter and drive them from his city. The state.

It's a miracle he manages to keep his voice calm and gentle, “A monster?”

“A monster,” she confirms sadly. Her breathing becomes muffled and Matt figures she has shoved her hand into her mouth to self-comfort.

“Can you tell Daddy about the monster?”

She sucks on her fingers and with her free hand, pulls her toy into her lap. He wants to push her to tell him, but he knows he can't. She's not a witness or a suspect - she's his daughter trying her best. He can tell she wants to answer, he just needs to be patient.

“He ran really fast,” Minnie starts to say, barely taking her hand out of her mouth to do so, “and went eek-eek-eek and smelled like poopy-butt.”

The words baffle him and Matt knits his brows - this monster was close enough for Minnie to smell him? The monster in his chest snarls and he has to fight to keep his composure. He knows Minnie is locked onto him and if he lets his rage show, she will know and she will get scared.

He needs to protect his daughter. He needs to believe God will not test him in this.

“Minnie, sweetie, can you tell Daddy where the monster is?”

Her little head turns up to face exactly where he is standing, asking in a small voice, “are you gonna fight him?”

The Devil roars ‘yes’, but the Father in him says, “Do you want me to?”

“Mommy scares him away,” she advises hesitantly. He can practically feel the nerves radiating off of her and it makes him clench his fist.

Matt doesn't understand. This has happened before?

Then it beams him in the head like a baseball and Matt feels like a complete idiot.

Minnie is a toddler. Her monsters are shadows, creaky pipes, and the four legged creatures in the city. Those are things that no longer register on Matt's radar but she hasn't learned to tune them out yet. Of course she would be scared of those things - Matt was scared of those things when he first got his senses and he was much older than Minnie at the time.

He remembers his first phone call with you and how it ended - something about Monster Repellent.

“I can go scare off the monster - would you like that?” he asks, the Devil in him settling down now that he knows no one is trying to hurt his little girl.

He doesn't know if it's Minnie sensing his shift in mood or if she didn't want him to fight the monster and scaring it away is what she wants, but she untenses her shoulders and her hand comes out of her mouth.

“You'll scare him away?” She asks after hugging her toy right to her chest.

“I'll scare him away,” he quickly promises.

“He smells like poopy-butt,” she repeats and Matt wonders if she is making a stinky face. That is something you tell him he and Minnie share - a certain curl of their lips when they find something unappealing.

“That's okay, sweetie, I'll make him go smell bad somewhere else. He won't bother you,” he says. “Can you tell me where he went and I'll go chase him away.”

Finally, she points down towards the alleyway between her building and the neighboring one and adds, “He can climb walls. Like Spidey-Man.”

Matt resists the urge to huff over the mention of the other vigilante. He has met the kid twice before and his biggest take, besides it was a kid under the mask and that had been its own thing, was that he needed to learn how to throw a proper punch. It confirmed for him all that Avengers training and showboating really meant nothing and they really were better off fighting aliens and wizards than helping out real people.

“Don't worry, Mouse, I can climb the walls, too.” He's definitely letting his Pride show through, but if he can't show off for his daughter, who can he show off for?

He makes a quick map in his head, then goes to the edge of the roof. Minnie’s head is still angled up towards him and she ‘watches’ as he parkours down to street level. If he adds a few unnecessary flips, well, that is no one's business but his own.

Once he is on the pavement, he opens his senses to the things he normally blocks out. The city becomes far more lively around him - cats, raccoons, birds, dogs, all sorts of bugs and things he doesn't like to think about. There's yowling and chirps and suddenly so much more movement, most of it under his feet.

Mouse’s monster is easy to find. It is a disgustingly large rat that has built a nest of trash and grime under a dumpster. The thing has a respiratory infection, which has it wheezing and rattling and he very much understands why Minnie was scared of it. It is not a pleasant sound and the infection is not at all helping how the creature smells. Animals smell at the best of times, but this rat clearly enjoys the sewers and ‘poopy-butt’ doesn't begin to cover how rancid it is.

Matt starts to work out what he needs to do to make sure this sick rodent stays far away from his family. If it has a nest, it will come back, so he needs to destroy that - without damaging the animal. He doesn't have the heart to actually hurt the thing.

He pulls out his billy clubs and snaps them together to make a bo staff, then moves to crouch in front of the dumpster. “Okay, sir, I'm here to evict you,” he says, more for Minnie’s benefit than anything. “You gotta go.”

He jabs at the nest of wet cardboard and almost immediately, the rat scurries out and hisses at him. It snaps its jaws at him a few times instead of running away and Matt huffs at the display, turning his staff towards the creature and swatting at it. “Get out of here.” To its credit, it tries to fight him, biting at his billy clubs and screeching at him, but after a few good thwacks to its side, it realizes it has no chance against him and dashes toward a nearby grate.

He listens to it go down into some pipes and once it's out of range, he tilts his head up towards Minnie, a smile starting to form in his lips, “The monster has been vanquished, my princess.”

His words make her giggle and he can't help but chuckle as well. He hears her push up into standing and she toddles towards the window. There's a table in front of it, so he knows she can't see out of it, but he knows she's trying to find him.

“He's not gonna come back?” She questions and in response he starts to break up the nest. He spreads the trash around, knocking things down and away. It's not a big very big rat den, relying heavily on the dumpster.

“He's not, he's gonna go find a new home,” he promises as he works, and once he's satisfied with his destruction, he collapses his billy clubs and holsters them. He pushes up into standing and steps away from the trash can.

“Far away?” Minnie asks and his heart breaks for her. The stupid animal must have terrified her.

“Very, very far away.”

He locates the fire escape and starts to scale it back up to your apartment floor. As he does, he starts closing off his senses again. Things begin to fade into the background - the things he will need to start teaching Minnie. She's got a good handle on it already, having learned to function with it instead of needing to adapt.

He's so proud. So unbelievably proud.

She's such a good and pure child. She always wants to help and asks about other people. She may be shy, but she's empathetic.

You've taught her well.

Matt understands how Minnie is a mini-him in her abilities and mannerisms due to those abilities, but her sweet nature is from you.

He knows he's gone for you.

Foggy has pointed it out. Karen has pointed it out. God has smacked him in the face with signs.

His realization moment was hearing a man purchasing an engagement ring for a woman who shared your name. He had gotten so furiously jealous he had to go take it out on the punching bag.

Foggy laughed so hard at him.

He doesn't think you noticed at all. It is nothing against you, he completely understands. You are like him - you don't think you deserve love. You had been painfully shy your first night together, as well, and he had been charmed by it.

He's angry at himself for letting you be a one night stand.

He should have been there when you needed him most.

He's not going to fuck that up again.

He pulls off his mask before making a show off popping up in front of your window and Minnie dissolves into giggles.

“Hi, Daddy!” She waves at him and he can tell she is absolutely beaming. He eagerly waves back and he knows he's matching her smile.

“Hi, Mouse.”

“Why are you outside?”

He's planned for this. He has discussed this with Foggy and Karen at length. He did the unthinkable - he asked Frank - who apparently knew who Minnie was before either Foggy or Karen did. They had attacked the question from all sides. As the firm. As friends. As parents.

They couldn't lie to Minnie. Matt can see the signs she's picking up on what different heart beats mean. She's going to know and there's nothing they can do to hide it. She can hear all of Hell’s Kitchen just as well as he can. It may not happen until she's older, but she'll figure it out.

So, he's not going to lie to her. He thinks you would approve. You don't like lying to her - you soften the truth into something she can comprehend. He's going to follow your lead.

“I'm working,” Matt answers, crouching on the rails and resting his wrists on his knees. He's suddenly very glad he had a very boring night. “What are you doing inside?”

Mouse accepts the answer and hugs her toy to her chest, swaying side to side “I'm talking to you.”

He laughs at her utter sweetness. She giggles along with him.

He gives a fond shake of his lead, then leans forward so she can see him a bit better, “What should you be doing, sweetheart?”

She scrunches up her face as she thinks, then she falls into a pout, “Sleeping.”

“Yeah, you should be sleeping. You're going to be tired tomorrow. It's not going to be fun,” he gently warns. He knows it isn't her fault, but he knows it will eventually help her learn to push those noises to the background.

“Okay, I'll go bed. I gotta clean up first. Mommy says …Mommy says don't leave it until morning. You'll make morning you sad. Be nice to morning you,” she recites, patting her hands against her stuffed animal - it's not Scooby or Pig. (He doesn't know this one. His best guess is it's a Raggedy-Anne type princess doll. His little girl loves princesses - no specific one, just the concept and aesthetic.)

He loves the values you are instilling in her. He's going to steal this mantra and tell it to Foggy and Karen.

“Okay. I'll keep watch for any monsters,” he tells her. This is one of the reasons he wants her to know the truth. He wants her to know her Daddy will protect her from all of the monsters.

“Okay. Thank you. Love you!” She chants, then turns away.

“I love you, too, Mouse. So much.”

And he will tell her every chance he gets.

She carefully walks back to where she had been sitting and turns off the television, then goes to put her toys away. Like always, she's very methodical about what she does. He could spend hours watching her play. She fascinates him. She picks up one toy at a time and tells it good night as she puts it back into her toy chest.

She doesn't have much to clean up and when she finishes, she turns to face him.

“Will you tuck me in? Please? Thank you?” Minnie asks like he can say no.

“Of course, my love. Are you all ready for bed?” He questions as he hops down onto the fire escape - one of the screws holding it together shakes and he decides he'll come back another night with a wrench to tighten everything up.

“All ready!” she confirms and he can tell she's watching him with great curiosity.

He begins to run his fingers over the edges of the window, searching for a way in. You certainly don't make it easy - you invested in apartment security and it takes him a moment to disable it. He's careful as he slides the window up and pops out the screen. He slips into the apartment, then quickly closes the window behind him, leaving the screen on the floor.

Minnie has the decency to wait until that moment to run to him with open arms. Matt scoops her up, swinging her a little before putting her on his hip and once she is settled, he leans down to press his forehead to hers.

“We have to be quiet, okay? We can't wake up, Mommy,” he tells her and she quickly nods in understanding.

He doesn't know what he'll do if you wake up and find him in your home - but luckily you are still in a deep sleep. As long as Minnie keeps calm, you should stay lost in Dreamland.

He kisses her forehead then starts towards the bedroom. She returns the affection, planting a big kiss on his cheek before she gently smacks him in the face with her doll with a quiet, “mwah!” Then, she flops against his shoulder, using him as a pillow.

He has to fight back a pleased huff - his little angel is so sweet. He'll never get sick of getting kisses from her toys - it's so loving and innocent and he is greedy for any and all affection.

Your bedroom is a good twenty degrees cooler than the rest of the apartment - there's a fan going and accompanying it is a little window unit blowing in cold air. It feels like Heaven in the blistering heat that is the rest of the city. The chill seems to suck the consciousness from Mouse - she gives a big dramatic yawn, smacking her lips against his neck. Her body slumps into him and he rubs her back encouragingly.

He crosses the room carefully, hyper aware of any toys that may have found their way to the floor post-bedtime. It absolutely breaks his heart to have to pull her away from him and she does try to stay clinging to him - not fighting him just resistant - but she ends up in her bed and under her covers. He doesn't know if he would have had the strength to force her to let go if she really did want to stay in his arms.

He helps her adjust her sleeping headband so it is around her eyes and ears, then kisses her cheek one final time, “ready for sleep?”

The response is a barely there nod and Matt can't help but feel so much love for his daughter. Being able to conk right out as soon as she's comfortable shows how much she trusts him. His little girl is always so wary and subtly alert.

He's going to cherish this moment forever.

“Love you, Mouse.” He whispers.

“Luvo, Daffy,” is what it sounds like she says as she rolls to bury her face into her pillow. A moment later she is snoring.

Matt allows a few tears to fall before wiping them away and turning his attention to you. You have nested yourself under your blankets, breath hitching every so often. He's learned over time from various people this usually means bad dreams - not nightmares but things that can leave you shaken.

He doesn't dare move closer to try to soothe you with touch - that would certainly wake you up.

Instead, he promises, “I'll chase all your monsters away, too.”

tags:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife

@petrovafire39 @allllium

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium

two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04 @ astridstark13

@lovingkryptonitehideout @moongirlgodness @soocore @bluestuesday

#soulie writes #fanfiction #daredevil #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #and then i met you

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georgiapeach30513 · 5 days ago

Text

Two Good Reasons, Part 16

Summary: Suede turns four

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: 🥺🥺🥺

Warnings: mild language, Audrey 🥺, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 8K

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“Big boys seep in hewe?” Suede shouts loudly as you help him put away his clothes. “Pease?” you turn to look at him, and he quickly throws the rest of his socks in the drawer. “Pease?”

“You want Cooper and Connor to stay in your room?”

“Chess. Right dere,” he gives a point over to his bunk beds, and gives you a cheesing grin, “Pease?” He knows how to turn on the cuteness already.

“Where are you going to sleep then?”

“In hewe wif dem,” his speech has vastly improved. Speaking in full sentences, even if the words weren’t the most clear. You can’t help but smile at his communication. He’s clear, and to the point. Very much like his dad. His father was a snake in the grass, but Andy says what he means, and means what he says. Suede is literally a little him now.

“Pease?” He reiterates, and points his finger back towards the bunks.

“Where are you going to sleep then, buddy? If Cooper and Connor are on the bunks.”

“In da foor, duh. Connow up der, Coopa big bed,” you giggle. Suede got along great with your nephews. They entertained him well, and included him in their football tossing, so it’s no wonder that he would want to share his space with the cool older boys. “Not funny, mama. Dey seep in hewe, pease?”

He’s so polite, even if he’s sassy. “We will ask. Uncle Ryan said he was going to bring a tent for them to sleep in the backyard.”

“Me, too!”

“No,” his arms cross over his chest, and he glares at you. “Nope, you’re not sleeping outside where I can’t be near you. If the boys want to sleep in here, they can. And we’ll get out an air mattress for you.”

“Ugh,” he groans, and picks up the rest of his clothes to shove in a drawer. Boys. “Oo no fun.”

“I know, mama is boring. But now the clothes are put away. Put your shoes on, and we’re going to take Rosie on our evening walk,” his quick pouting session is now forgotten, and he smiles looking at you.

“Otay. Me weaw my bits.”

“Your boots?”

“Yeah, me boots. Me hold Osie’s ope?”

“Daddy is going to hold the leash, buddy. Rosie is getting just about too big for you and Audi, huh?”

“Chess. Too big. Big big,” he walks over to his closet, pulling out his favorite rain boots to slip on. “Wain?”

“It’s not raining, Suedey,” he just shrugs, pulling the boots out anyways. He loves them mostly because they’re easy for him to slip on, “You want to get Audrey and Rosie, while I get us some water bottles?��

“Otay. Me bewwy watew, tay?” he says bouncing on out of his room, and into Audrey’s. Berry water has become both his and Audrey’s walking water. Because they get a snack on the walk. And Rosie, sweet puppy has already grown again, but the vet assured you that she should be at a stable weight. One of the best decisions you and Andy made as parents was to let Audrey have a dog.

You glide down the stairs, and get an eye full of the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen; Andy with boxes of diapers. “We got another order,” he says, scrunching his nose. “I feel,” his eyes move over your highly swollen stomach. “I feel this is becoming more and more real,” with every order for the twins Andy mentions this. The reality of him having infants to hold. Diapers to change. Two more kids in the house.

“Yeah, daddy, they’re growing. And Ryden and Everly thank you daily for bringing in all the boxes of things we’re getting. Can Ransom ask Linda to calm down?” Smiling he walks over to you, and kisses you before he’s carrying the box of diapers to the growing nursery. It’s already getting packed. There is always something to put away in their room.

He’ll tend to Rosie’s harness and leash while you get water bottles. You’re not even walking too far, but your kids love feeling independently responsible for their own water. And what could be wrong with more hydration? And actual quality family time. Andy loves his evenings with his family. You can tell it’s his favorite part.

You groan as Ryden gives your stomach a kick. Andy always questions how you know which baby is which, and you just do. You could be crazy, but you’re doubtful of that. Andy’s head pops into the kitchen, “You’re good?” Always worrying about the noises you make.

“Andy, I am fine. Your son just likes to kick my ribs. Tell him to take it easy on his mom, and make sure to help the kids with Rosie,” babies kick and move, but Andy worries about everything. He’ll ask you ten thousand times while on the walk if you are good. It’s sweet, and sometimes annoying.

“Mommy! We’re ready,” Audrey calls from the front door. Scritching behind Rosie’s ears while she waits on you. You gather up the water bottles, and smile as you peek to the front door. Everyone is already piling out of the door. Andy has been the lifeline to you and your kids. The missing piece that you always needed, and also wanted.

Suede is his shadow. Stands up straighter, smiles more, has more confidence, and his speech is improving. While Audrey clings to Andy’s attention, and approval. Someone that actually put her wants ahead of her future. Someone that made her laugh and smile daily. You know it’s because of her father’s absence, again. The last fiasco, and having court ordered visitations isn’t something he has been willing to do. So instead, she gets her fatherly attention from Andy. Or Ransom, but that’s more in a heart eyes way. Cutest little first crush.

Andy takes on the role of a father like he was born for it. Like you always knew he would. All those stupid little fantasies that the two of you had in high school have come true. You hoped they would, but you didn’t realize that an accidental ride on the school bus when you were a kid would lead to your best friend, to your partner in crime, to your first love, first boyfriend, first everything, to your dreams of a family, to your reality.

That’s what Andy provides; the dream turned into reality. There’s hard and difficult moments. Times when the two of you argue over stupid things. But at the end of the day you wouldn’t want to do any of this without him. You wouldn’t want to have any of the dreams with anyone else but him.

Andy turns, and catches you gazing at your family. He bites on his lips, and looks around him nodding. He feels it, too. Maybe even more than you do. He’s wanted a family so much. Wanted to create something he never had. Become the father he didn’t have. He’s succeeded. While Billy doesn’t deserve it, you wish he could see all that his son has accomplished. Not just accomplished, but how loved he is. How respected he is. How the kids wait for him every evening, and welcome him with the biggest hug, and then he walks over to you with a kiss. Dreamlike.

“Honey, you coming?” He asks, his eyes going glossy. He’s thinking the same thing. You would tell this man every second of the day how much you love him, desire him, and how proud you are of him, and it would never be enough for what he deserves. He sniffles as he holds a hand out for you.

“Thanks, babe,” you whisper, closing the door behind you.

“No, thank you,” he pulls you into his side for a quick hug. “Suede, you and Audi lead the way. We’ll stay back far enough for Rosie to walk between you.”

“Chess! Dis way day, Audi?” Suede gives a point, and Audrey nods her head. The four and half of you start your evening walk. Just the beginning of your ending routine. You love ending the day as a family.

Tomorrow will of course be a new day with its new challenges. Ryden and Everly are growing nonstop. Audrey has quit making excuses for her father for today. Suede is a ball of energy and learning something new daily. Even going back to the daycare center three days a week. You’re making it. One day at a time.

“Nini! Papa!” Audrey darts down the front porch steps, followed by Suede as they capture your parents into a tight hug. “Where's Uncle Ryan?”

“And Coopew and Connow?” Your mom gives a look up to you with a smile at Suede’s voice. “Me boys hewe?”

“They’ll be here tomorrow, but Papa and I are here now,” Suede gives a little pout, but Audrey still hugs tightly to your father tightly. “It’s beautiful out here, sweetheart,” she says admiring the outside of the house and property. ”Come on, why don’t we go inside and you can show me your bedrooms.”

“Me dinoso, rawr!”

“Suede has dinosaurs in his room, but daddy said I could have a princess room,” Audrey is most proud of her overly pink room. A room that her daddy let her design all on her own. The two of them actually picked out the color of the walls together. He let her help paint, but he took so much pride in painting the walls for her. They even were singing Taylor Swift together while he painted.

“Scott’s been…” you clear your throat, shaking your head as you walk up to your mom with a hug. The last thing you want to talk about is Scott. Especially with little ears present, “Oh. Oh, that’s right. Wow, you look huge.”

“Thanks, mother. That’s just what every pregnant woman with twins wants to hear. Hey, dad,” you give them a hug, looking at their copious amounts of luggage. “What’s…that’s a lot for a week.”

“Well, let’s go inside, and talk to your hot husband. Okay?” Your father clears his throat. Motioning to the luggage. “Oh, honey, she isn’t allowed to carry suitcases, Andy won’t allow it. And I’m old.”

“I’m older than you are. Sweetheart, tell Andy he can stop hiding and avoiding me, and get out here, and help with this,” for emphasis he points at the suitcases.

“Oh, he’s not hiding. He’s in the back starting up the grill,” it is only a bit of a lie. That is where he was about to go. And sure, it was slightly to avoid being alone with your father. “But I will go get him.”

“Me fiwst!” Suede runs back towards the house, followed by Audrey. They love being in charge of getting their dad.

“They’ll go get their dad. You want to talk about the luggage?” You ask, and you silently count how many they had.

“Nope. I want you to show me the house with the kids, while Andy and your father get the luggage inside, okay?” Nope. This is your parents' way of wrangling Andy to be alone with your father. He notoriously wasn’t ever the biggest fan of your husband. But he did somehow approve of your relationship with Scott, and that didn’t turn out well. If they want to be weird, Andy can hold his own.

—

“Andrew,” your father stares at Andy with his hands on his hips. “Took you long enough.”

“I had just started to take the food out to the grill,” there’s no amusement on your father’s face, and no attempt at reaching for any of the suitcases. “So I guess we should get these inside.”

“For a man that has all your power, why are you cowering away from me when you’re alone.”

“With all due respect, sir, but I still see you like I did as a little boy, and you hated me. I just want to keep the peace so my wife and kids have a great day and week,” it’s all he wants to do. You love and respect your father, and that’s what he’ll do. Even though he finds him to be terrifying. Retired cops can do that.

“I never hated you.”

“Yeah, if I recall correctly, you, well — you were never nice.”

“I never thought you were good enough for my daughter,” Andy shrugs. There really isn’t much use in trying to change your father’s mind now. He’s married to you, impregnated you, and will adopt your other two children. Andy is in. He’s always been in.

“And it seems I was very wrong. I judged you harshly because of your own sperm donor,” Andy just nods. Hoping that the man will further iterate his frustrations. “And dammit, I knew you’d take my daughter away from me. You two were too young.”

“We’re not too young now, sir. And I’ve kept my promise. I will become a judge someday. But more importantly, I love your daughter, and your grandchildren.”

“I truly don’t care what you do. You’ve gone further in your career than I ever saw happening. You were too young to be playing house,” a little mishap that Ryan couldn’t keep his mouth shut about, and Andy truly became enemy number one. “That playing house was supposed to stay when you were kids. You know what you did.”

“Loved her?”

“Cute. You — you were too young.”

“She was seventeen.”

“And too young to be,” your father groans, running his hand down his face.

“I loved her then, too. We waited. And then, well…things happened.”

“Then you made promises you couldn’t keep, and focused on school, and forgot about her. How is that fair?” And college is where everything changed for Andy. You were once the priority in his life, but then it became his school because he would make you proud. Mistakes were made that he can’t change. But he’s here with you now.

“You broke her heart.”

“I know. And it’s something I have to live with. It’s one of my biggest regrets, but I can’t change that now.”

“I thought with the douche bag she was going to have a brand new start. He came from a good well off family. He spoiled her with things. And I think for a while she was happy. Happiest when she became a mother. My wife never cared for him. I see now why,” there’s a silence that falls between the two of them. Both realizing that there were so many things that aren’t worth dwelling over.

“When are you adopting my grandchildren?”

“Suede’s petition has just one more week in the paper. So far nobody has contested it. Audrey is a bit different. Scott thinks he wants her,” your father’s brow lifts up, and Andy sighs. He’s aware that you don’t care if your parents know Scott’s dirty business. He’s heard you talking to your mom about it. “He doesn’t want my wife, but he still wants to control her. You should know by now the only way to control her is through her kids.”

“What do you mean?”

“She was born to be a mom. She’s always wanted it, and she’s a damn good mom. She’d do anything for her kids, and either you are present with her and them as a whole, or you’re not in her life,” it’s a simple fact. You loved and mothered fiercely. And still made time to be a wife to him.

“Is that why you accepted my grandchildren quickly?”

Andy nods. No reason to lie now. Only Ransom truly knew Andy’s inside thoughts concerning the relationship. “Initially, yeah. If I wanted her, I had to want them. But,” he smiles, and runs his hand down his beard. “They make it easy to fall in love with them just as much as I did their mother. I knew it was a need for me to be good to them if I wanted her. But I didn’t even have to try. Second nature. I want to be good to them, but mostly be good for them. It’s what they and your daughter deserve. I made mistakes when we were young, but I’ve never stopped loving her or the extensions of her. And when Scott realizes that it’s not his kids he wants, but the status of fulfilling his caveman needs, he’ll let Audrey go. He doesn’t love her like a father. If he did, he wouldn't have been drunk in front of her, and he’d call her on a regular basis.”

“Do you drink?” Andy nods. One thing the kids had never seen Andy was drunk, and they never would. “How many a night?”

“No more than two, but usually it’s just one beer.”

“Good man. Anyways. Umm, thank you for not being the deadbeat I thought you would be. I wish you all the luck with Suede, and eventually Audrey. And you’re right, the kids are my daughter’s life. So where do you fit in the picture?” This is where your father saw yours and Scott’s relationship go rocky. The moment someone else became her priority.

“The difference between me and Scott and I is I realize that they need her in that way. I don’t. I also came into their lives while she was a mother. I’m aware of how devoted she is to them. We’re partners, sir. We parent together, and when they go to sleep, we…”

“That’s good. We don’t need to go on,” Andy smirks, running his fingers down his beard. He finally has the approval of your old man.

“We’re not playing house anymore, sir. We’re a family.”

“You treat his kids the same as you do your own, and I don’t care.”

“They’re all mine,” Andy grunts as he picks up a suitcase. “He was just the sperm donor. And make no mistake, your daughter will cut my balls off if I don’t. Why are there so many suitcases?”

“Because Charlene says that you guys need us,” Andy sets the suitcase down, and stares at him. This is going into enemy territory. He didn’t know anything about this, so he’s guessing you don’t either. “It was joked that we could come and live with you for a few months until after the twins were born. Your wife said there’s a guest bedroom until the twins are old enough to be separate,” Andy stares confused at your father. “I don’t know how serious she was, but my wife is very serious. We’re here to stay until the twins are a few months old. You’re going to be working. She’s got the older two kids, and just two arms.”

“You’re living here?” Danger. He needs you.

“We won’t be in the way. And we’re not staying out here yet. We’ve got another trip to go on, and we’ll be back before the babies are born. She is. I’ve got some business to attend to with my other daughter,” Morgan. Always needing her dad to coddle her and tell her how perfect she is.

“Here here?” Andy’s voice goes up an octave. Your dad is serious. He’s stating that your parents would be living here.

“Yeah, we’re going to be housemates. That is unless you think we’re overstaying our welcome. A few extra hands to help with four kids would be nice though. So we’re leaving some stuff here. Going on vacation, Charlene will come back, and I’ll be back probably when the twins are born.”

“Here with us?” This is unbelievable.

“I feel like you have a problem with this,” Andy shakes his head. Not a problem. A bit blindsided. He wonders how you’re going to feel about this. The extra help once the twins arrive could be nice. Not a long term thing though. No, he’s going to need the two of them out before it becomes too long.

“Have — you just assumed that this was a good idea?”

“My daughter mentioned it would be nice. So here we are being nice. Do you have a problem with us being here?” Andy grits his teeth, shaking his head. “Is this going to cause a fight with the two of you?”

“Nope. No, sir. We don’t have fights because stress is not good for her,” but there would have to be a conversation with you. Just you and him. Your parents didn’t need to be privy to the conversation. He would let you decide if you want them here.

“I feel you have a problem.”

“I feel you’re a bit testy,” wanting to see if Andy will actually blow up. He won’t.

“Jack, I’m not testy,” your father gives him a nod as he hoists up some suitcases. “Was that a test?”

“Yep. The first one would have already blown his top. Anyways, I know my wife imposes herself when it comes to the kids, so if it is an issue, we can change things. It’s not that big of a deal. You’re the man of the house now,” your father taps him on the shoulder, and walks inside.

Andy is the man of the house, but he wants this decision to be made by the both of you. He doesn’t particularly have a problem with your parents staying, but they can’t stress you out. The doctor gave clear instructions, no stress. The babies had too far to go for you to be getting stressed regularly.

Actually, your mom being here didn’t sound like such a bad thing. Especially now with Suede back in daycare. Leaving you at home alone. Something that bothers him immensely. He even taught Suede how to call 911 in case of an emergency. Home isn’t too close to town. Her being here could solve some of that problem.

And then once the twins got here, there would be two of them, and still Audrey and Suede need him. And you may need him. And the twins will need him. And suddenly her being here, if she’s offering sounds great. He could make it work. Whatever you wanted. But he’s definitely on board.

Now he has to wait for your brother and his boys. And then a party. Hardly anyone is going to be here apart from your family, but he could sense Audrey’s anxiety rising already. He can’t imagine having to watch someone losing air the way Suede was at her age. All on her birthday. It is already agreed that you would stay right with Audrey the entire time, and he would stay right with Suede. No food apart from preapproved food from the two of you would be here.

Whatever it takes to make her comfortable. She knows the plan. And once Ransom and Tatum arrived that just gave extra adult eyes. But images like Suede unable to breathe never leave you, especially when you’re such a small little girl.

“Me race!!” Suede gives a scream as he jumps in front of your nephews. “Me yittwe, me fiwst, tay?” This is great logic. He is little, he should go first.

“Are you finally admitting you have short legs?” Connor says, teasingly. Suede loves them. Loves that they spend time with him. Anyone else might have got a pout with this comment, but not Connor and Cooper.

“Chess. Me yittwe. Onwy fouw. Yittwe yegs. See,” he holds out his legs for emphasis. “Oo taww boys. Me yittwe, but me gwow big big wike my daddy!” He gives a point over to Andy. “Oo dad showtew!”

“Dad! A three year old is saying you’re shorter Andy,” Cooper giggles, getting into position to run.

“Me fouw today!” Suede stomps, growling up at the older boys.

“Yeah, Andy is just a tall asshole,” Ryan laughs at his oldest son, and Suede turns to look at him gasping.

“Ass hoe?” Andy cringes as he looks at Ryan. “What is ass hoe? My mom ass hoe?”

“No,” Ryan shakes his head, realizing that he’s with younger kids than his own teenagers. His two sons laugh, listening to Suede repeat ass hoe for the thirteenth time. “Forget I said anything.”

“Suede, uncle Ryan is an idiot, and mommy is going to put him in time out. Now run your race, buddy.”

“Mama be mad? Unk Yan is ass hoe?” There is no winning in this situation. Once Suede realizes that it’s something he shouldn’t do, he smirks as he repeating the word or action. Testing to see just how long he can go without getting in trouble.

“Stop saying that word.”

“Ass hoe bad?”

“Suede,” Andy narrows his eyes, using that tone, and Suede sighs, turning back to the race. “Your sister is going to kill you for that.”

“You just said his name, and he stops? You didn’t even offer him to get in trouble or raise your voice. How?”

“Your teens are too far gone now,” Ryan scowls at Andy as he watches the boys mostly just run around more than race. It wouldn’t have been a fair race between the three of them. They adapt. “You guys live too far away.”

“Yeah, well, their mom will not be entertaining me moving out here with the boys. We have 50/50 custody. You on the other hand. Suede’s almost legally yours,” Ryan wiggles his brows, insinuating that you guys should move back to Michigan.

“Moving isn’t in our future. This is our home,” this is the most perfect house for your soon to be family of six. Andy can’t even fathom leaving the area, much less this house. This home. “Is Connor thinking about what he’s going to do after high school?”

“Welder like me. Cooper is my dreamer though. He thinks pro soccer is in the future.”

“Daddy!” Andy sits forward and looks behind him at the screaming girl who runs right towards him. She doesn’t stop until she’s colliding in his arms. “Are you watching Suedey?”

“Yes, princess.”

“And he has eaten anything he shouldn’t?” Ryan looks uncomfortably at Audrey, and turns to look at you with your parents. Carrying trays of food to set on the table. He didn’t realize how Audrey’s anxiety about Suede's birthday affected her. Nobody realizes how serious it her behavior change is until they see it. All morning she watched as you and his mom prepared food, asking questions nonstop.

“No, princess. Remember, we checked all labels as a family,” she sighs watching the three boys running around, and scratches her nose. “Baby, he’s okay, and he’s going to be okay.”

“What about the bees? Y-y-you you you know that he got stung, and we had to use his pen. And and and I don’t know if Connor and Cooper can can can deal with that.”

“Rosie,” Andy gives a whistle waiting for the sweet dog to be by Audrey’s side, and he taps her leg. Rosie lays her nose on Audrey’s lap, and Andy holds her just a bit tighter, “Connor and Cooper don’t have to deal with anything; me and mommy are here. And I’ve got my eyes on Suede all day, okay? Mommy, too. But if you need anything, mommy will be the one helping you, so I can stay watching, bubs, okay?”

“I know, but but but I just worry. You p-p-promise nothing will happen to him? I just just just worry. It was — it was scary.”

Andy leans forward, kissing her on the forehead, and nods his head, “I promise I won’t let anything happen to bub. Now, Uncle Ann and Miss Tatum will be here in a little bit. Didn’t you make something for Miss Tatum?”

“It’s just a coloring page. Uncle Ann said her favorite flower was an iris. But I’ll go get it. Don’t take your eyes off him, okay?”

Ryan watches Audrey run off, and back towards you. She gives you a quick hug, and a look up to you before she and Rosie go back into the house, “She stutters?”

“Only when talking about Suede’s allergies, and her father now. It was just randomly. Stress causes her brain and mouth to not work together,,” Andy’s voice clips off. He pays far too much attention to Suede. The atmosphere around the two men changes immediately. “He doesn’t even realize how much he’s messed with her mind. Doesn’t even care that we could have lost Suede. Doesn’t even care about him. It’s a good thing for me, but I look at that little boy, and wonder how in the world could he even consider that? How does he sleep at night not knowing if his kids are okay? If they’re healthy?”

“You could argue he feels comfortable knowing my sister is their mother. And he knows you’re a better option as a father.”

“No,” Andy responds resolutely. “He’s an ass. One that doesn't deserve these kids. He also doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of his actions with Suede. Audrey will deal with that trauma for the rest of her life. While her father can’t even tell her the truth. Suede is trash and disposable for him. And Audrey is no good to him broken.”

“You think she’s broken?”

“I know she is. She’s five and stutters when we have get togethers. She stresses about the food that her brother eats so much that she has to read labels with us. She wants to make sure that someone is always watching him. Yeah, she’s broken, but we’re doing what we can to fix her. And maybe this will always give her anxiety. And while I’m annoyed, it’s not at her. I will do whatever I have to to make sure that tiny little girl is assured as much as possible. I will give her what she needs if it means that she has one less stressor in her life.”

“She is very small,” Andy rolls his eyes as he looks at Ryan. “Is she eating regularly?”

“Really? You think we’re malnourishing her?”

“No,” Ryan changes his tone, attempting to tread lightly. “I mean has she continued to eat regularly since the stress with Scott?”

“Yes. She’ll go through ebbs and flows after seeing him where her appetite isn’t the best, but she hasn’t seen or heard from him in three weeks now. Coward. And he can’t deal with the fact that he has to see her at a center. His lawyer informed me that it could be uncomfortable for Audrey, meaning him. So the simple solution was dinner with all of us, and he declined. And as for Audrey being small, she’s petite, but perfect,” Ryan gives a nod, staring out at the boys playing again.

“I’m going to get a beer. Want one?” Ryan answers with a short yes, and Andy stands up to walk away. He continues to look towards Suede as he walks towards the garage. Having to take his eyes off the little boy in order to retrieve him and his brother in law a beer, and to use the restroom for a moment.

You give a little laugh to your mom as you, her, and Audrey walk out of the house with Rosie. Your sweet little girl looks at her brother screaming, and laughing, and then to the seat where Andy had vacated before she drops the bag of chips, grasping at her chest. “Mommy,” she chokes out.

Setting the plate of food on the table, you turn around, and your smile quickly fades. Audrey’s face is all ruddy, and eyes filled with tears as she points to Andy’s empty chair. Rosie walks in circles around her as she pulls at the bottom of Audrey’s dress.

Your legs are already carrying towards your daughter, “Audrey, baby, breathe for mommy,” she shakes her head pointing at the chair, and Ryan turns around, and stands up to walk over to you.

“No! Suedey! He can’t breathe! Stay with him!!”

“Audrey, Suedey is breathing just fine. Eyes on me,” your voice tries to calm her as you get to your knees, and on her level. “He’s breathing hard because he’s running.”

“Daddy promised!” Stepping out of the garage, Andy looks towards Suede, and then over towards the two of you. “You — promised. Mommy, I can’t — can’t breathe. I can’t breathe! It hurts.”

“Princess…”

“No!” Her small body crashes into you in the tightest embrace that she can give you, and you motion for Andy to assist you to get back up. “Mommy, I can’t…”

“Shh, baby, we’re going inside. Rosie, come here. Come see your girl with me,” she’ll never regulate her breathing out here with everyone looking at them.

“But — daddy.”

“Daddy is going to stay outside and watch Suedey,” her breathing is still too ragged to be around all these people. Audrey doesn’t like people as it is, and now there’s more in her safe space of home, so you need to get her away from the conversation, and let her breathe.

“Doe,” Andy says, looking at you regretfully. “You got her?” Nodding your head, you point over to his perch for him to watch Suede, and you carry your baby inside. Poor Rosie follows you with her head looking up at Audrey. Yipping at you when she can’t get to her.

“Come on, Rosie girl. Uhh,” you let out an exasperated breath, sitting on the couch, and pat on the seat for Rosie to join you. The sweet pup jumps onto the couch, and lays her head on Audrey’s leg, but she still clings to your body haphazardly due to the twins. Her head rests on your chest, and she hiccups trying to catch her breath.

You sit and let her hear your steady heartbreak. Let her feel you breathing before you ever even attempt to talk. Just be present. Be her constant during her fearful panic attack. Her fingers pulse on your ribs. The little chubby digits slightly digging into your body, matching her steadying breaths, and you just hope that she can vocalize her feelings.

Audrey’s tiny hand rubs down your side, searching for Rosie before the chocolate lab’s nose pushes up on her hand. Softly she starts petting her snout, sniffling and whispering inaudibly. “Why did daddy leave?”

“Is that why you were struggling to breathe?” In lieu of responding with words, she nods her head on your chest. “I think daddy had to go to the bathroom, and uncle Ryan was there. Mommy was just inside.”

“But he promised.”

“Suede was running around with the boys, and remember how we all checked his labels?” She nods on your body again, still unable to lift her head. “Do you know why we all checked his labels?”

“To make sure he wouldn’t eat any allergy.”

“That’s right. So even if his sticky little fingers made it to the food, Suede could have safely eaten everything,” you want to hit Scott, and you’re not someone that resorts to physical pain. But it would feel good to hit him.

“But the bees,” she taps on her knee, urging Rosie to come closer, and her friend inches as close as possible. Laying her head down on her leg.

“Suede isn’t allergic to bees.”

“But at the pumpkin patch?”

“That was because he was stung so many times. Remember he had to take an allergy test, and he’s not allergic to bees,” she lets out an annoyed puff of air.

“Suede is okay?” Audrey lifts her head up to look at you, looking so much younger than she actually is. For how mature she is, she’s still just your tiny five year old. You nod your head, and give her a kiss to her forehead. “Has my Scott dad called him?”

“No, baby.”

“Because he doesn’t want Suede?” You look at her without saying anything. Staring at her as her eyes go red. “He doesn’t love Suede, does he?”

“I think he thought parenting Suede was difficult. Maybe Suede scared him with all his allergies.”

“Does he scare you?” You push back her baby hairs, nodding your head. You can’t forever coddle Scott’s reputation. You won’t speak ill of him, but if Audrey puts the thoughts together, you won’t stop her. She’s smart enough, “Do you want to — give up on him?”

“Never. I’ll never give up on any of my kids. I never even want to spend a day without any of you.”

“Were you sad when I went to my Scott daddy’s?” You nod, and Audrey looks down at Rosie. You can almost see the thought rushing through her brain as she tries and processes something. “If he asks me to see him, do you not want me to go?”

“Baby, all I want is for you to be happy and safe. And I will do whatever I can in my power to make sure that you are. You know that for now you have to see your father at either a visitation center or with me and daddy present.”

“Because he had that square bottle and was acting weird?” You give her a nod, and she retreats back into her thoughts. You almost hate that it’s at this moment that she looks like your baby again, but it’s for the worst reason. She looks so angelic and little as she tries to figure out her father’s behavior, “It’s alcohol, right?”

“What do you know about alcohol?”

“Well, Scott daddy said that Andy drinks alcohol, too. The stuff in the garage that stays locked up. The beer. He drinks it at dinner,” there isn’t much to add. You have made it clear that you always want the alcohol away from kid hands. The solution was a tiny room built onto the garage that housed a separate fridge, and space for wine and liquor. The lock always stays on, and Andy has never gone past his limit.

“How come daddy never acts weird?”

“He doesn’t drink too much.”

“Do you like alcohol?”

“Sometimes. But I can’t drink when I’m pregnant because it will hurt the babies. Does it bother you that Andy drinks?” She shakes her head no, and you want to sigh in relief. You’d make him drink after they fell asleep. But she remembers and recognizes Scott’s altered behavior. In her tiny little mind she’s comparing the two men.

“Does my Scott daddy hate me and Suede?”

“No, baby,” he should be the one responding to these questions. He should see her face scrunch up in confusion as she tries to figure out why her father doesn’t see her as much as Andy does. Why Scott gave up Suede but not her. And she wonders why Scott makes mean comments towards her brother.

“Does my Scott daddy love me like daddy does?” You sigh, shrugging. Shaking your head because you have no idea how you respond to that. How to even begin to figure out an answer. You don’t know Scott. As long as you were with the man, who he is now is not who you married.

“Do you think daddy and your scott daddy love you differently?”

“I think daddy misses me when I’m gone.”

“He does. He paced around the house, and was checking his watch nonstop. And was even looking at his phone to see if you had used the iPad mini to call,” she winces, recalling why she didn’t call on her iPad. Her Scott daddy broke it.

“Do you know when he goes to get a drink of water or a snack, he comes upstairs and checks in on me and Suede?” You nod your head yes. Suede had a camera put in his room to make yourself feel relaxed about him being so far away from you since they are upstairs.

Andy also told you he’d go check on them, and he does, every night before he settles into bed. But if he woke up to check on them, you didn’t sleep well without Andy, and you watched the camera to see him just looking at Suede, and he always checks on Audrey while upstairs.

“He got scared one time when I wasn’t in my room. I had to go potty. Is he afraid that my Scott daddy will come and take me?” It is a fear that Andy has. He’s told you so many times that he worries Scott will come here. Cameras were at every entrance, and set up in hallways. You hate the paranoia. You didn’t quite have that anxiety, but it made him comfortable.

“I think Andy is just scared.”

“Because of his dad?” You and Andy never discussed his father. Hadn’t since before you met Scott. You didn’t have to. You knew Andy’s story, and you didn’t care, “My Scott daddy said he’s in jail for,” she leans closer, and cups your ear, “For killing a woman.”

“That happened when Andy was a young boy. He never raised him. Your father shouldn’t have said anything about that man, or told you things much too adult for you.”

“I’m sorry,” shamefully she looks away, but you lift her chin up for you to look at you.

“You don’t have to be sorry. You’re a child that doesn’t need to know adult things. But if there’s ever anything that your father says or does that confuses you, will you talk to me and daddy? I’m not mad, but I want you to be a child for as long as possible. I don’t want you to worry about your brother the way you do, but I’m thankful you love him so much. I don’t want you to have so much anxiety because your biggest concern should be what color dress you want to put on your dolls, and what you want your clean clothes to smell like.”

“I like the new kind. The maggie-olia,” magnolia. You want to put that in your vault of cute things your kids say.

“Remember, all I want is for you to be happy and safe. And above all to feel loved.”

“Did I look like a dork out there?”

“No, in fact I think everyone, including Suede, were worried. I think you were overwhelmed by your fear, and the way your body reacts to that isn’t your fault. You have seen and heard so much for such a sweet five year old. You’re still so young, and you’re growing, and you have these complex emotions that your brain just can't understand.”

“Will it understand some day?”

“Yes, princess. But I think that you, and all of us as a family, maybe need to look into talking with someone,” hers and Rosie’s head both tilt at the same time and in the same manner. “Someone that can help us heal as a family, and maybe if you want to talk to them alone they can help you understand these big feelings that you have.”

“You promise Suede is okay?”

“Yes. But can you promise me that Audrey is okay?”

She giggles, and leans forward, pressing her forehead against yours, “You’re a good mommy,” you doubt it sometimes. Doubt if you’ve made the right decisions concerning Scott, so confirmation from the cutest five year old feels so good.

“And you’re my most beautiful perfect Audrey. You’re such a good daughter, baby.”

“Can I sit with daddy?” You whisper out a yeah to her. You see in her eyes how exhausted she is. She might even fall asleep in Andy’s arms. Knowing just how much your baby is pretending to be okay some days, breaks your heart “I know you can’t chase after Suede, but he can sit with you.”

“I think I’ve been traded for Cooper and Connor. How about they sit across from us at the table?”

“Okay,” Audrey’s head perks up when she hears a familiar laugh talking to Andy. She peeks towards the front door, and smiles at you. “Even though Uncle Ann and Miss Tatum are here, I still want to sit with daddy, okay? But can you tell Uncle Ann? I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“Yes, darling. Are you ready to go back outside? I bet everyone is hungry, and I know Suede will be excited about presents,” without responding she slides off your lap, and waits on both you and Rosie to get off the couch. These babies are crowding your belly. It is becoming more and more difficult to get up off the couch.

“Thanks, mommy,” Audrey holds up a hand for you, and you take it in your own before walking outside to your family. Everyone out there is your family. Andy’s, too.

Sitting beside your father, your mother smiles at your family on the opposite couch. One part of the luggage was old photos of you when you were a child. Ryan snoozes in the chair, waiting on everyone to leave the living room so he can stretch out.

The teenagers are upstairs “sleeping” when in reality they’re watching a scary movie that Suede couldn’t watch. It’s fine. You hadn’t got to truly spend time with Suede today, so extra time with him is nice. The four of you are clad in the matching dinosaur pajama sets that ’Miss Tatum’ gave Suede as a family gift. She already told you it was Ransom that picked them out.

Audrey hugs on the swell of your stomach, resting her head at the top, while Suede sits between you and Andy. He flips through some of the photo albums, and you can’t help but to glance up at Andy. He looks so happy and at peace.

“That not daddy,” Suede laughs, pointing at a scrawny little boy that was very much daddy.

“Buddy, that is definitely me,” Audrey covers her mouth with her hand and giggle, while you lean over to kiss your husband.

“Oo wittwe wike me!”

“It took me several years to start growing.”

“Mommy!” Audrey gasps and sits up. She causes Rosie’s head to jolt up, and she looks at the little girl long enough to realize that she is okay before laying her head back down on her bed. “Is that you and daddy?”

“It is. That is daddy’s junior prom,” you hear your dad groan, turning up the television a bit more. Your mom gives him a playful whack to his belly. Your mom clearly told him that Andy’s junior prom was the night you lost your virginity. Rude. He didn’t need to know that.

“You look like a princess.”

“She was my princess,” your dad growls again. Rolling her eyes, your mom settles back further into the couch, and smiles as she watches the four of you. The random little kisses you and Andy give each other. The way he watches at both Audrey and Suede as they ask questions about the photos, and even the constant touches he gives your baby bump.

Against all odds, you and Andy did it. You made it. You’re exactly where you said you would be, loving each other. Creating your family, and he has surpassed every thing that she knew he could be as a husband and father.

So much is going in your custody, but she knows that deep down the family will be okay. Andy loves you too fiercely for it not to be. He enjoys you, and your kids. He wants to spend time with you, and your kids. He wants to create memories with you, and your kids. He is the man that you said he was.

You peek up at the top of the stairs as Connor gives you a head nod that the movie is over, and it is time for bed. You’d linger a bit longer if it wasn’t for your exhausted brother. “How did you and daddy meet?” Audrey asks, pointing to a photo of the cute scrawny boy again.

“We’ll save that story for another time. Uncle Ryan is exhausted though. And it’s been a long day, so why don’t we go upstairs and tuck you two in bed, huh?”

“No, oo no need tuck me in. Me big boy,” he would say that since Connor and Cooper are here.

“I still need to be tucked in.”

“Oo no baby, Audi.”

“I know, Suedey. Rosie, bedtime,” your mother watches you and Andy both walk upstairs with the kids before she gets off the loveseat, and wakes up her oldest baby. She looks back at your father, and smiles before he stands and they walk into the guest bedroom. It’d been a long day. But she has doubts on your future anymore, and she knows your father doesn’t anymore either.

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @rnurse-kole @peaches1958 @seitmai

@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989

@pandaxnienke @kmm-fluv @rogersbarber @theinheriteddutchess @buckybarnesisdaddy

@hisredheadedgoddess28 @capswife @distractingbeth @talk2trish @shoegal73

#two good reason #andy barber #andy barber x reader #andy barber x female reader #andy barber x fem!reader #andy barber x y/n #andy barber x you #divorce #andy barber fic #andy barber fics #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber fanfic #andy barber fanfics #second chance romance

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inevitably-johnlocked · 2 months ago

Note

Do you have fics where John is questioning his sexuality? I have recently realized it's just about my favorite Sherlock specific trope.

Hi Lovely!

I do!! Sorry for the delay on this list, I was collecting all the fics in my bookmarks that I know of into one post. I didn't get a chance to go through my MFL list before I ran out of time to make lists, so I am sorry that I don't have more for you, but I would love if people added some more of their own fics or recs!!

I hope these please you!! Enjoy!!

JOHN’S SEXUALITY