#wonak

[adamwatchesmovies]

Wonka (2023)

“Wonka” practically steps onto the stage and declares itself a new favorite. I remember when the film was announced. It was met with skepticism because we’ve already had two adaptations of Roald Dahl’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” and going back to see how the book’s most memorable character became who he is felt like a desperate attempt to cram more chocolate down an already-filled stomach. Here’s what the naysayers should’ve paid attention to, however: writer/director Paul King. I know you loved “Paddington” and its sequel, “Paddington 2”. Everything that made those films great – except for the titular bear – is present here, along with catchy musical numbers. This is a lovingly assembled film the whole family will eat up.

After an extended journey around the world gathering the rarest ingredients and learning everything there is to know about sweets, Willy Wonka (Timothée Chalamet) dreams of establishing his own chocolate shop. Unfortunately, his initial trip to the Galéries Gourmet sees him pushed out by the “Chocolate Cartel”. Shortly after, he’s swindled out of his savings and forced into indentured servitude by Mrs. Scrubbit (Olivia Colman) and her co-worker, Bleacher (Tom Davis). He’ll be doing laundry for the next twenty-five years unless he can settle his debts. The only way to do that is to become the chocolatier he's always dreamed of becoming.

In more ways than you can count, “Wonka” is a prequel to 1971’s “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. Two songs are reprised/expanded upon, several visual cues are ported over and Chalamet’s portrayal of the titular character is reminiscent of Gene Wilder’s. If you were to watch the films back-to-back, however, you would spot some inconsistencies. Some, there’s no way you could’ve worked around, such as the character Hugh Grant plays. I won’t spoil what his part in the film is (even though he is on the poster) but if you were to watch this movie before the 1971 original, he would give away one of the latter’s biggest surprises. There’s also an aspect of Wonka’s character that’s a bit off. I personally think people label “WW&tCF” as being much darker and scarier than it is but you can understand why people would call it scary, or "a gateway to children’s horror". This film has no cynicism or darkness in it whatsoever. It’s one of the reasons why it works so well but if this film is indeed a prequel (it’s been called a “companion piece”, but come on, get real), there are some inconsistencies.

With those minor complaints out of the way, let’s talk about the many ways “Wonka” succeeds. First, the cast and tone. There are a lot of villains in this movie. Keegan-Michael Key plays the corrupt, chocolate-addicted Chief-of-Police. Paterson Joseph is Arthur Slugworth, the leader of the Chocolate Cartel. He, along with his cohorts Gerald Prodnose (Matt Lucas) and Felix Fickelgruber (Mathew Baynton) are not above sending innocent people to be enslaved or even murdered. Then, there’s the extended Cartel, which includes a small, but funny role for Rowan Atkinson. Finally, the combo of Mrs. Scrubitt's & Bleacher. On paper, these characters are quite sinister. Despite that, you kind of… like them. They're delightfully ridiculous and quirky. You can tell the performers are having a blast hamming it up – in the best way. They’re all evil. They all love being evil. You love seeing them do their thing.

Nearly everyone we meet is more eccentric than anyone you’ve ever met, except for the friend Wonka makes once all his money is stolen: an orphan named Noodle (Calah Lane). She’s in a worse spot than anyone else, which makes her apprehensive and cynical but also most receptive to the idea of hope once Wonka gets going.

Between the big laughs and musical numbers, we get scenes of magic and wonder - the kind you can only get out of movies where people spontaneously burst into dance. There's something so earnest about "Wonka". It knows exactly what it wants to be and isn't afraid of going for it, of taking single gags and turning them into characters for the sake of a big punchline at the end, of poking fun at itself or of being serious when the scene calls for it. That's what makes "Wonka" special and why it is a great prequel to "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory".

"Wonka" is the kind of movie I wish we’d see more often. You think back to the movies you used to see as a child and it feels like we used to get them all the time… but actually, I don't think that's true. Movies like this one are rare, it's just that they're so much fun you never forget them and they end up getting passed down from generation to generation so it feels like there's this large library that just doesn't get added to. Push away any apprehension you might've had when this film was announced and check it out. (November 22, 2024)

[lyrics365]

여름 같은 놈 (Summer Freak)

yeogi eodiji? eo, yeogi kkumeseo bon geot gatgido hago geunde kkumeun wonak yeoreo chawoni dwiseokyeoseo mwoga mwonji moreugetne Deja Vu inga? ai geunyang jeulgyeobolkka? nan yeoreum gateun nomiya nan yeoreum gateun nomiya nan han yeoreum gateun nomiya nan naneun hae gateun nomiya I was born in the summer I was born in the summertime I was born in the summertime when people often cross their…

[costis]

willie wonak and the cocklate factory. this is a book for children? for our youth?

[ambeann]

Stella Jang - Recipe (레시피) Lyrics

Stella Jang - Recipe (레시피) Lyrics

[Hangul + Romanization] Stella Jang - Recipe (레시피) Lyrics [Single] 레시피 Artist: 스텔라장 (Stella Jang) Genre: Ballad Release Date: 2020.03.01 ℗© (주)모노트리 Lyricist: G-HIGH (MonoTree), 손고은 (MonoTree) Composer: G-HIGH (MonoTree), 손고은 (MonoTree) Arranger: G-HIGH (MonoTree), 손고은 (MonoTree)

Romanization neomu dalkomhanga ani saljjak singgeo-unga dotong al su eomneun resipicheoreom naui mamdo wonak kkadarowa na saljjak yeminhan geol byeol se gaega kkwak chan reseutorangjocha geunyang geureonde jeomjeom byeonhaeganeun nareul balgyeonhae neoreul ttara geu eodireul gado joha na sareureu nogagayo saekdareureun masi nayo jom tteugeowotda chagawotda moreugenneun pieo-oreun jangmiboda dalkomhan hyanggi han ip du ip deo meogeobomyeon alge doelkka neol saekdareun sido? okay like masimello keopkeikeu museun masi nalkka gunggeumhaejyeo nan dugeungeorine jeomjeom byeonhaeganeun neoreul balgyeonhae neoreul ttara teukbyeolhaejineun ge joha na <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> sareureu nogagayo saekdareureun masi nayo jom tteugeowotda chagawotda moreugenneun pieo-oreun jangmiboda dalkomhan hyanggi han ip du ip deo meogeobomyeon alge doelkka neol saekomdalkomhan ttaeron dalkom sseupsseulhan i jjaritjjarithan mat neo sareureu nogagayo saekdareureun masi nayo jom tteugeowotda chagawotda moreugenneun chaoreuneun neukkim gadeuk peojineun hyanggi han ip du ip deo ppajyeodeuneun uriraneun mat Hangeul 너무 달콤한가 아니 살짝 싱거운가 도통 알 수 없는 레시피처럼 나의 맘도 워낙 까다로와 나 살짝 예민한 걸 별 세 개가 꽉 찬 레스토랑조차 그냥 그런데 점점 변해가는 나를 발견해 너를 따라 그 어디를 가도 좋아 나 사르르 녹아가요 색다르른 맛이 나요 좀 뜨거웠다 차가웠다 모르겠는 피어오른 장미보다 달콤한 향기 한 입 두 입 더 먹어보면 알게 될까 널 색다른 시도? okay like 마시멜로 컵케이크 무슨 맛이 날까 궁금해져 난 두근거리네 점점 변해가는 너를 발견해 너를 따라 특별해지는 게 좋아 나 <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> 사르르 녹아가요 색다르른 맛이 나요 좀 뜨거웠다 차가웠다 모르겠는 피어오른 장미보다 달콤한 향기 한 입 두 입 더 먹어보면 알게 될까 널 새콤달콤한 때론 달콤 씁쓸한 이 짜릿짜릿한 맛 너 사르르 녹아가요 색다르른 맛이 나요 좀 뜨거웠다 차가웠다 모르겠는 차오르는 느낌 가득 퍼지는 향기 한 입 두 입 더 빠져드는 우리라는 맛 English Translation N/A Source: Genie Music Romanization: K-Lyrics For You English Translation: N/A K-Lyrics For You Lyrics, Korean Song, Kpop Song, Kpops Lyrics, Korean Lyrics from Stella Jang - Recipe (레시피) Lyrics http://sinkpop.blogspot.com/2020/03/stella-jang-recipe-lyrics.html Korean Song Lyrics Kpop Artis Korean Boyband Korean Girlband from Blogger Lirik Lagu Korea Stella Jang - Recipe (레시피) Lyrics http://kpopslyric.blogspot.com/2020/03/stella-jang-recipe-lyrics.html

[kpopdancings]

GOT7’s Jinyoung talked about support from his members during his drama “He is Psychometric”

New Post has been published on http://www.whatsupkpop.com/got7s-jinyoung-talked-about-support-from-his-members-during-his-drama-he-is-psychometric/

GOT7’s Jinyoung talked about support from his members during his drama “He is Psychometric”

On the morning of March 3, Park Jin-young interviewed a variety of TV dramas, including the drama episode, in a café in Seongsu-dong, Seongdong-gu, Seoul, in an interview announcing the ending of the cable channel tvN Wolhwa drama “Si Comet Lee Gee”

Park Jin-young said, “Even if I get accustomed to it, I am a teacher because I have the same name as JYP producer Park Jin-young and I feel burdened.” Sometimes I am a teacher but I am a teacher. that is, “he told aroused laughter

the minutes you yet” wonak self-management is thorough. the name sounds like why I lot of reflection about how scarce. it is awkward yet (points of the same name is a). ‘jinyoungah! I can not say ‘your brother is my brother’, but it was nice to be able to watch the drama well. ”

Soon, the members of the group also responded to the drama. Park Jinyoung said, “Most of the members saw it and they sent it to me and said,” Why are you doing this? “(Laughter) So many people teased me. I was the most foolish, the two who called me OST,

Ian’s psychic thriller drama, with a cometry ability, reads the secrets of Yoon Jae-in (new renegade) and his opponent’s secrets in the mind, and last month’s record of 2.3% (Nielsen Korea National Household Standard) Work was done.

Park Jin-young’s interview, which played a leading role in the TVN ‘Sai Comet Lee Gee’ (hereafter, “the guy”) at the cafe near the Seoul Forest in Sungdong-gu, Seoul,

Ian’s psychic thriller with the ability of ‘Intercourse Lee’ with Yi Jae-in, who has hidden the secret in his mind, and ‘Intercourse’, which reads the secret of the opponent.

In this drama, Jin took on the first starring of the TVN Wallmaw drama, and played the role of Ian to develop a sneaky cycometry ability. I also worked with the new JYP, an agency of JYP Entertainment, to meet the romance.

Especially, the thing that attracted attention here was the “Seven Unit Jus2” (JB, Yu) who opened the OST “TAKE”.

“I did not know the members at first,” said Jin. He said, “I thought that when the OST came out at the end, the voice was similar to the real member, but I was really surprised that Jus2 would appear in the subtitle below. I knew that he called OST. ”

“It seemed like it was good,” said the member of the drama, “It was fun and exciting to have the members sing something together.”

Park Jin-young mentioned Gates Seven members who supported the actor’s activities.

Park Jin-young met with viewers in the role of “Ian” in the drama “Sa Comet Li Gee,” which last month. Park Jin-young, a 16-episode mini-series, long-breathing drama, successfully finished without controversy, revealed the presence as a leading actor.

Park Jin-young has proved his broad acting spectrofur with his new genre of psychic thriller, from the very beginning to the end of his life. Park Jin-young, who met the Herald-POP at a cafe in Seongsu-dong, Seoul on the morning of the 3rd, said he received help from many people while shooting a drama.

Park said about the breathing with the actors who appeared together in the drama. Park Jin-young said, “Yoon Eun and I both had such a long pole, so we were able to shoot while fighting together, and that was the best. I was able to practice in the same practice room as the two of us were in the same company. “I recalled at the time.

After that, Park Jin-young said, “I did not think it was the first kiss scene (laughs), so I heard a lot of words from the bishop. I did not come out, “he added.

In addition, Park Jin-young said, “I will think of you as a business of your brother.” “I am sure there will be fans who feel sad, but there is a point that fans understand because it is a work. I do not want to do it, so I try. ”

Park Jin-young also mentioned Kim Kwon. Park Jin-young said, “Kwon-hyung is really good, Kwon-hyung has always said,” Jin-young, you should start feeling if you get caught. “I would like to thank you again for this opportunity. I expressed appreciation.

‘Cycometric Lee Gee’ is a sequel to ‘The King of Men’. Sadly, it ended with a 2.3% audience rating, which is somewhat slower than previous works. Park Jin-young said, “I guess I did not think about the audience rating. There were a lot of enthusiasts who watched the drama, so it seems that I took a lot of fun with them thanks to them. I think it’s just happiness. ”

Park Jin Young also talks about Ian ‘s companion dog, “White Eyes,” which is another main character of’ Psychomatric Lee ‘. Park Jin-young said, “Perhaps the white snow was the most popular in our drama. (Laughter) Because the white-eyed man likes people so much, NG did not do well. And the white eye was a child. He was a little lacking in acting than the adult. ”

The group also spoke without mentioning the group members of the group. Park Jin-young said, “The members sent me tea tea, and I also captured the drama scenes, and when I was bright, the members were really brighter and helped me in the early part of the play.” I turned my mind.

[ndim-loh]

Lh- ngamshaya ubby daddy

P1...Mhlazane ngiboshwa kade ngishaya uBby daddy nentombi yakhe. Ngafika ngingabiziwe kubo kwengane kanti ngzofica intombi igcwele indlu. Ihheeee ngathi ngbuza kuthi ingubani yangphendula ngokuphapha kwabe izithele kimi😓 iyanghlukumeza lendaba webo mnakx indlela engadonsa ngayo ejele ngivalelwe ngingakwazi nokubon ingane yami.. Mina ngzozwa ngani uma senivukile😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓

P2.. Ok indaba imi kanje ngthandane noMlisa ndini iminyaka emihlanu. Kuthe ngskhulelwe wafuna kungishada wavele weza ngenkani ekhya nabakhongi bezokwenza njalo hayike kwamnandi kwaba nje.. kubo ngyaziwa naye ekhaya uyaziwa ngfika kubo noma inin even yena engangbizang kumnandi nje. Kuthe uma esesebenza kahle esekhushulelw iholo emsebenzin waqalake wangqhenyela. Washintsha nje wawumuntu onolaka kfanele ngisho njalo uma ngzokwenza into. Kanti useqonyiwe bakith. Ngezwa ngabantu asebenza nabo kuth basola ngathi udlisiwe akezwa lutho ngalosisi asenaye. Yimi loya ngbeletha ingane ngbheke khona wazise insuku zakhe zokuhola. Mangfika ntambama ngfica intombi igcwele indlu ize ishaye music oncane uyabona kuthi ihappy nje sekunezithomb zabo odongen esengane yethu kubhalwe "RIP NGANE KAMZALA" cabang ngane yakhe njalo lena😓😓😓😭 guys lendaba ingvusela ngisizi lodwa nje..

P3.. Kuthe kusanjalo ngisbuka lomhlola wangen uyise wengane wathi sengbekwa yini manje lana sengzofuna umshodo ngenkani athi phela ekhaya siyacuthana nje futhi lengane ijazi seyayibona ingakho engasondli. Ngvele ngizwa ngicikeka aphume athi uyolanda sisi wakhe yena zongnika ndawo yokulala neJazi lami. Wathi angaphuma nje ngasala nentombi sabukana nje lapho ngfuthekile nglinde ikhulume nje bese ngyaydumel. Iheee ithe isathi sory mawejazi ngaydumela ngenduku yomshanelo hay ngayiqoba yezwa ngezwa kuth cosololo ngaphakathi. Ngthe ngaqeda ngayo ngayifaka phansi kombede ngalind umlisa naye ngathi ngamqeda wavele wayibamba induku salwa ngezandla ngaze ngbona kuncono ngthath bhodlela ngimshaye ngalo... kanti usis wakhe usezwile kuthi kushubile sebize nomakhelwane sekufonelwe namaphoyisa nawo afika nje ngyavutha ngizimbeva habe ngth ngeke ndale abantu mina kwaze kwalamula wonake angthatha ngayovalelwa.

P4..Ngavalelwa izinyanga eziw9 ngaphandle kokubonwa abasekhaya even kukhuluma nabo. Ngahlukumezeka ngalento guys kumanje asibhekani noyise wengane usezacile uyaphephuka uthi ucabang kuthi sishade sihlale nengane yethu nje qha ngaphendle kwendeni yethu.. yazi ngavele ngabuza kuth usathatha kahle yini ekhanda lapho mina ngyashayina boMnakx.. Ngyabonga ngeskhath senu hope kuzodlula kancane kancane since sengkwazi nokukhuluma ngalesisehlakalo😢😢😢😢

[bitcity]

Top 5 Picnic Spots According To My Daughter

The grassy space next to the Touhy Westbound onramp onto 94

The grassy space next to the Oakton exit off 294

On top of the green blanket on our living room floor

The grassy space under the power lines

Inside the elk exhibit in Elk Grove Village

[megatronj2015]

[bitcity]

Bit City Answer Desk

Dear Bit City,

I’m at the park and need a quick answer. Should I let my toddler walk around the edge of this empty concrete fountain all by himself? He really wants to.

Sincerely,

Tired Dad

Dear TD,

Every parent has to find the right balance between Helicopter Parent and Free-Range Parent. If you're too overbearing now, in just 10 years he'll rebel and flip his friend Shork's four-wheeler mid-fistpump. And if you let him live and learn like your dad did to you, well, then you're turning into your dad. Which is inevitable. You already floss like him (languidly).

When in a situation where you're not sure how much intervention your child needs, ask yourself the following questions:

1. How badly would my child get hurt? Are we talking ER visit? Because that is expensive.

2. How many other parents are watching this kid and wondering where the hell his

dad is? Is it just one or two, or is a whole murder of lacrosse moms looking for every reason to judge you? (He's already got a fudgsicle smear on his neck).

3. Can you use his sister to distract him, without having to get off the bench? Some kind of, "Calliope, go show Wolf the dead wasp you found!" You know he wants to do anything Calliope is doing.

After your assessment, act accordingly. But if you do intervene, make sure you're super casual about it so everyone knows you're not about to land on the helipad. And if you decide to keep sitting, stay at the park until all the other parents have left. If your son calls out your name, look the other way. Basically pretend like that jerk of a dad who didn't help his son on the fountain is someone else.

P.S. Have you ever really looked at the word "fudgsicle" just typed like that? It is truly hideous and we hate it.

Sincerely,

Sarah W. and Matt T.

Bit City

[bitcity]

I picture a hapless dad, trying to connect with his increasingly distracted kids with a homemade pizza ("Dad, are these radishes?"), a make-your-own sundae bar ("Oh, I see, you got greek yogurt.") and a quick round of Uno. ("No, Dad, you have to take a card.") And then, Dad finally reveals he brought home Ratatoing to watch from the library! Just like the kids saw a few years ago in the theater at Doug Wabbler's birthday party. C'mon everybody, get on the couch! We're watching Ratatoing! Also, what's happening on the cover there? That rat is just serving a piece of regular cheese. And the pink rat has human breasts. And there is an umlaut over the g...unless those are rat ears? The best part is that this is some kid's favorite movie.

[bitcity]

Gettin' Old Timey With Wonak!

With summer comes the possibility of storms, downed power lines and blackouts. And that's just another opportunity to Get Old Timey! Let's explore how you can entertain yourself like a nineteenth centuryer (that's got to be a word) the next time you find yourself powerless.

Read by candlelight Sure, flashlight is probably better on the eyes, but candlelight is more fun! Best done surrounded by stacks of hardcover books, beeswax candles, and while frantically searching for more information about dragons, Norwegian naval history or Sparrow Pox. Even better, make like a scribe: pull out your favorite dog-eared paperback, don your long white synthetic beard-wig (watch the flame!), and create an illuminated manuscript. You will cherish that copy of Superfudge for years to come.    Talk to someone Turn to your spouse, child, roommate and tell them about your day. What emails did you get? What websites did you visit? Don't you have a funny story about the podcast you listened to on the train?   Meet the neighbors More than one spontaneous block party has occured when the power goes out. The men gaggle together to drink Fartfeet's PBR; the women gossip about Mrs. Scallaway, the school librarian; and the children play kick the can and bully Jeremy. (PEARL JAM REFERENCE)   Look at the stars Even if you don't want to mingle with neighbors, take the time to enjoy the breeze from your porch and try to find a single constellation in the sky. Is that Cassiopeia? You have no idea. But, thanks to ComEd, you've got a Dark Sky Park in your backyard for the next few hours! Too bad you can't look any up on the Internet since your laptop battery's been shot for weeks. That's okay! They haven't been updated in a while anyway... time to modernize and make up your own constellations. Like, that cluster over there is obviously the American Idol logo. Down by the horizon it looks like a Facebook Timeline Page. Just above those trees you can see Obama's Longform Birth Certificate.   Sleep outside No power means your A/C is out, and you'll swelter in your stuffy bedroom. Instead, lay out some soft cotton blankets on the cool grass, and let God condition your air. This was very common in, like, the 1950's, right? I remember seeing some movie that showed that, maybe. Nowadays, I would suggest setting up a rotating watch to make sure no hobos slip past the chain-link gate to steal your children, slit your throats and eat your beans.   Go to bed early This is boring. I'm going to turn in. I feel a cold coming on anyway. GOD. HOW DID PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS?

[bitcity]

Bit City Uninformed Review: DOWNTON ABBEY

Hello, we're Martin & Sarah. We're busy professionals and parents and can't really keep up on pop culture, but we ARE taste-makers. As long as one of us has seen something, we feel pretty confident that we can write an excellent review. Here's our review of Downton Abbey.

Sarah: I've never actually seen the show. I've seen lots of vague facebook statuses about it, once listened to an NPR interview about how linguistically the script is NOT historically accurate, and saw a Slate headline for an article comparing Mad Men characters to Downton Abbey characters. (I did not click the link to learn more). I didn't even do any Internet research for this piece. So, yes. My opinion is ridiculously uninformed. But, I still have a right to my opinion, right? RIGHT. Look, I love this show. LOVE IT. It's true that I love any period costume drama, and would probably even love Two and a Half Men if they dressed in period costumes. But it's more than that. It's British! It's set in Victorian England! It's a little bit Jane Austen, a little bit PBS reality TV show Manor house, and a little bit lusty romance novel. What's not to love? This series is basically a re-telling of Upstairs, Downstairs, the classic British drama about nobles and the servants who work for them, which I’ve also never seen. I think I have seen an episode of Fawlty Towers, which I think is a comedy about servants starring John Cleese. Anyway, it's awesome seeing all the ways that the two classes clash - and how their perspectives are actually growing closer as we march on to modernity. Maggie Smith (aka McGonagal from Harry Potter) is in it! I'm pretty sure she plays a hard-nosed dowager who isn't willing to change with the times. (But has some intense love affair going on behind on the scenes). The best part, though, is the love triangle! There IS a love triangle, right? There's got to be. I am on Team Nice Guy/Underdog, obviously. Oh! He is such a heartthrob. Let me guess: The spunky ingenue, Elizabeth, grew up with the steward’s son, Oliver, who’s so nice and sweet and smitten with her. But she recently met Giuseppe, the dangerous, rich, Italian-born friend of her cousin, and she’s falling for him. Did I get it right, Martin? Martin: I’m proud to say that I’ve watched each and every minute of Downton Abbey and, Sarah, your ridiculously uninformed opinion is not wrong. In fact, while each and every detail is completely inaccurate, the larger picture you paint is good; it’s like you stood in front of a canvas, closed your eyes, and randomly flailed your brush, but the painting you ended up with was actually modernist and pretty compelling. The show is actually set just before (and, later, during) WWI (that was the war with the trenches, right?). Victorian England was like 1800 or something.  I also refuse to do any internet research on this. So let’s say that Victorian England was from 1750--1850 and World War 1 was from like the beginning of 1910 to maybe the end of 1910?  That means this show takes place from 1909--1911 (so far). Since the war begins and ends in the span of a single season, it certainly feels like it starts during a garden party in March and is over by Christmas (just in time for a Very Special Episode).  But nice try, Sarah. Anyway, there are definitely a lot of costumes and underdogs and servants and backstabbing and love and lust in Downton Abbey.  It’s soapy, sudsy, sumptuously shot, and sensational to look at.  The second season, however, really catapulted the show into Days-of-our-Lives-levels of subtlety and Candyland-levels of nuance, but it was still pretty watchable and addictive. Actually, Sarah, the thing that you got, startlingly, MOST/LEAST/SORT OF correct about Downton Abbey is Maggie Smith’s torrid behind-the-scenes love-affair: in fact, the show is mostly just a soft-core porn starring Dame Maggie Smith. Take it from me -- I’ve seen it all!

Thanks for reading Sarah & Martin’s Uninformed Review -- that’s our review and we’re sticking to it!

[bitcity]

The Worst Holidays Once You Have Kids

Halloween

Okay, the day itself is actually way more fun. Kids remind you that all the parts you've grown to dread about the holiday are actually really awesome: dressing up, answering the door, walking outside in the cold/rain at night. But the weeks that follow are torture. Do you have your kid eat all their candy at once, so at least their teeth only experience one "sugar event" (or as I like to call it, "sucrose black-tie affair") which can be easily brushed away? Or do you spread out the hyperactivity yet set yourself up for some cavities by allowing your kid one piece of candy a night for weeks? We tried the "eat it all tonight" route. Turns out our kid actually got sick of the candy after 4 or 5 pieces, so that didn't work. Also, did you know it's no longer cool for houses to hand out just one piece of candy? Kids expect handfuls of candy from each house, or a little pre-filled baggie. Are you kidding me? I'll gladly be the cheap old lady in the middle of the street who only gives one Tootsie Roll and smacks your hand if you try to take two. She always dresses in the same business-casual witch costume, and her cracked cement driveway is the most treacherous part of Halloween.   Easter

More candy, more candy battles. This is mostly what parenting is about: Kids want to eat candy all the time. Parents don't want them to. If I were to write a parenting guide, it would be 30% on how to avoid candy battles, and 70% just complaining about how you no longer have any time or get any sleep once you have kids. To prevent candy battles, I've taken to eating my kid's candy when she's not looking, especially any white chocolate. Other fun things about Easter: you're guaranteed to make at least one kid cry because you permanently lost one of their assigned eggs during the egg hunt. You really have no idea where you hid it. Way to go, Mom.   Valentine's Day

Did you realize this day is mostly about candy now, too? Ugh. Kids don't give just paper valentines. They're valentines attached to candy. Or sometimes candy, with space to write the valentine part. I can hear the dentists across the realm guffawing in their coppers. (Sorry, I'm re-reading the Song of Ice and Fire, and it's affected my writing.)   New Year's Eve

Oh man, remember when you used to celebrate by spending the night at Arimond's house in Barrington, drinking and hors d'oeuvre-ing all night and celebrating the first day of the new year with some Egg Harbor and a movie? My last New Year's Eve was spent hanging out in my living room with my in-laws. We had challenged them to stay awake until midnight, and my father-in-law had us watch WWE (yes, fake wrestling) for two hours to help him stay awake. We missed Ryan Seacrest, and even Janet Davies and Mark Giangreco's awkward midnight kiss, and instead were watching The Copyeditor or whatever his stupid name is. Everyone laughed when I suggested opening our 6-year-old bottle of champagne (like it wasn't a good idea or something?!?), and immediately went to bed. We didn't even toast water.   Daylight Savings Time

I know, I know. Not technically a holiday. But, when you're young and kid-less, you celebrate "falling back" by sleeping in late and then going to brunch. Not so once you have little farts to care for. It takes weeks for their inner clocks to adjust to the new time. In the fall, they now wake up an hour earlier, squealing at you at 3:30 in the morning. You try to lure them back to sleep in your own bed, and they just flip around and kick you in the head for hours. In the spring, bedtime becomes (even more) of a battle. Your 4-year-old's been in bed since 8, but it's 10:30 and she's singing and taking the attendance of her stuffed animals like it's mid-afternoon. I know the stuffed giraffe, mini monkey, giant chimp and baby doll, all named Lily, are glaring at her through their marble eyes that they are PRESENT and they want to JUST ONCE get some SLEEP.   The holiday that's suddenly way, way better: Christmas

EVERYTHING turns magical again. You get to decorate your house with homemade green-and-red construction paper chains and snowflakes. You get to make cookies and not even care about how they turn out or what they look like, because decorating every one of them with the same red sprinkles is the fun part. You get to squeal at the Holiday Train and neighborhood decorations and municipal holiday events like "Breakfast with Santa." Breakfast, ya'll! With SANTA! It does not get better than that.

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Bit City Nerd-Off

In which Bit City contributors determine who's nerdiest.

Wonak: In fourth grade, I decided I wanted to design a brand-new haircut. I drew a picture of what I wanted so the hairdresser would know. In retrospect, I've realized I "invented" the mullet. My mom said I looked so much older with that haircut.

Young: When I was seven or so, I stuck a pair scissors in an electrical wall outlet. I wanted to plug into a computer like R2-D2. Sparks immediately started flying out and I swatted it out (if I'd grabbed it, I'd probably be dead). All the power in our house went out. My dad flipped the breaker to get power back on and he could tell that I'd done something but he couldn't figure out what.

Wonak: My senior year of high school, I was drum major of the marching band, co-captain of the forensics team, and president of the thespian society.

Young: In college I made a Robin costume (as in Batman &) and a Speed Racer costume. In college.

Trupe: In high school, I bought black suspenders and painted a white checkerboard pattern on them because I loved ska. I also made matching shoes by painting white patches on a pair of black Payless wingtips. The paint came off immediately.

Wilson: In high school I bought a Star Wars novel in hardback because I just couldn't wait.

Young: I once fell asleep watching a VHS tape that had all three of the original Star Wars movies recorded on them. I fell asleep during Empire and woke up towards the end of Jedi when Luke was taking off Vader's mask. I started to cry a little and thought "That's his dad."

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Get Ready For Rush Hour

Look, I know we've been stranded on this 'L' train for almost 30 minutes now. I know we haven't moved an inch, and we're not sure how long it will take us all to get home.

But your comparison to Speed is just far-fetched at best, and insulting at worst. First of all, that movie is 18 years old. It's old enough to vote, old enough to fight and die for our country. Just as the title died on your lips as you tried to reference it. "This is like that movie - where they're stuck on a bus? Hahaha."

Oh, the self-laugh. Keanu Reeves is rolling over in his grave. (I dreamt he died last night. Is that not true?)

Has it been 18 years since you've watched Speed? Have you really not caught it on TBS at some point in the last decade? Maybe you don't remember, but I do. I remember the terror that filled the bus passengers hearts, as they careened through traffic, with only chirpy Sandra Bullock and doofusy Keanu Reeves to steer them to safety. Sandra's armspan was barely bigger than the steering wheel itself! I remember the horror they all felt, as they jumped that divide, or drove off the unfinished highway, or whatever it was. I mean, it has been a while since I saw the movie, I don't remember the specifics. But I remember the relief they felt when they finally reached safety.

This 'L' ride is giving me none of those emotions. Mostly I'm feeling annoyed at how impatient my fellow passengers are. What's the movie reference for that? I suppose it could be like Rush Hour, but I've never seen it, so who knows.

[bitcity]

Gettin' Old Timey With Wonak!

A Why and How-to Guide on Enjoying Old-Timey Things with Sarah Wonak!

SAUERKRAUT Why you should learn to enjoy it: It's so good for you! My family credits my dziadzia's daily sauerkraut for why he lived past 100. Wikipedia tells me that raw sauerkraut contains vitamin C, lactobacilli, and other nutrients. (What's lactobacilli, you ask? Well, per Wikipedia, "Lactobacillus, also called Döderlein's bacillus, is a genus of Gram-positive facultative anaerobic or microaerophilic rod-shaped bacteria". Whoops, I've been misusing the term 'Döderlein's bacillus' for years.)   How: My Aunt Jean fried it up with some butter one time, and the whole family was ooh-ing and ah-ing like she was David Blaine levitating on the street. It really transformed the flavor into a smooth, velvety deliciousness.    LICORICE Why you should learn to enjoy it: What better way to bond with your grandma? One bite is like walking through one of those terrifying used bookstores with the precarious shelves and series of claustrophobic mini-rooms. In particular, it's like sitting in the history/music mini-room, right before you see a silverfish scuttle out of the binding of a P.G.T. Beauregaurd biography.   How: You're probably most familiar with soft, chewy and sweet licorice. Have you tried a more leathery kind, like a licorice snap? Those are awesome, and the perfect last-minute gift for my dad. Have you tried a salty kind, like the Europeans prefer? Me either. But let's both try a Turkish Pepper and report back in a week.   BUTTERSCOTCH Why you should learn to enjoy it: Really? You don't like butterscotch? Man, there is no hope for you.    How: It doesn't just have to be butterscotch hard candies. What about a butterscotch dipped cone from DQ? Oatmeal butterscotch cookies? Butterscotch fudge?