#womp to the fricking womp

[beware-of-you-98]

Um so i may have updated quantico if anyone cares

[defectivehero]

BECAUSE OF THE HANNIBAL SERIES THAT U HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT ON @defectivevillain I WENT AHEAD AND WATCHED HANNIBAL RISUNG (2007)

And

And

And

And

My world

It has collapsed

In tHE BEST WAY POSSIBLE.

Its been ONE DAY AND I CANNOT STOP THUNGKING ABOUT IT. IM FUCKING FUCKING OBSESSED. HE IS SO 🧛🏻‍♀️😼😎🫀🥳😠🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 LIKE???? Sir??? SIR???? U CAN GLADLY WOMP WOMP ME AND I WILL HOPE U FIND MY BLOOD SWEETER THAN OTHERS.

I CLASSIFLY MYSELF AS A VAMPIRE, AND I WONDER WHAT EILL HAPPEN WHEN TWO CANNIBALISTIC FORCES COLLIDE AND DRINK

I SWEAR TO GOD. I HAVE PICKED OUT A WEDDING DRESS, A PICTURE OF US WHWN WE ARE OLD, ONE WHERE ILL FRUCKLE FRACLE HIM, THE WEDDING CAKE

EVERYTHUNG.

AND IF I HAD NOT READ YOUR WRITINGS RELIGIOUSLY. I WOULD HAVE NOT BEEN BOTHERED ENOUGH TO WATCH IT. IM VERY LAZY WHEN IT COMES TO MOVIES BUT THAT ONE BLEW MY FUCKING MIND OFF TO THE MOON.

Ill be watching its Show very soon. My friend says that IT CURED HER DADDY ISSUES. but Hannibal Rising 2007 MADE ME REALISE IVE GOT THEM BAD (cuz I forget often) AND GOD IT LEFT ME LEGS SHAKING IN THE BEST WAY.

TYSM FOR WRITINF THOSE STORIES AND BRB IM GOING BACK TO DEVOURING UR WRITING MVHAHAHAAHAB

KENDKDBSKFBFNGKFNGKG SCREAMINGGG 💀💀💀 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!! happy to hear that my writing captures the vibe (hopefully?) you gotta watch the tv show, it is absolutely godly

[finchesslingshott]

HI THERE I SAW LES MISERABLES LAST NIGHT HERE ARE MY NOTES

ACT 1     ⁃    SOBBINGGGG OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE YOU ORCHESTRA     ⁃    ok valjean i see you!! get the emotions!!!     ⁃    YES ENSEMBLE I SEE YOU AND I LOVE YOU     ⁃    I DREAMED A DREAM. OH MY GOSH. HER VOICE. cry #1     ⁃    fantine death- THE EMOTIONSSSSSS. OH MY GOSH. cry #2     ⁃    cosette im sobbing i love you     ⁃    YES THENARDIERS YOURE SO ICONIC     ⁃    all together master of the house is a 5000/10 literally so funny     ⁃    THE SET???? THE FRICKING SET???!?!?!!?!?!??!     ⁃    VALJEAN AND BABY COSETTE SINGING TOGETHER BEFORE THE BARGAIN???? BRB SOBBING MY EYES OUT OHMYGOSH     ⁃    OHMYGOSH GAVROCHE. GAVROCHE. GAVROCHE.     ⁃    ok grantaire i see you!??! long haired drunk king??? get it i guess???!!!     ⁃    RED AND BLACKKKK IM CRYING THE HARMONIESSSSS - cry #3     ⁃    "listen!! lisTEN TO ME!!? L I S T E N  E V E R Y B O D Y" (really awkward pause) "general lamarque is dead.."     ⁃    me and my friend both said "womp womp" and were sobbing laughing     ⁃    i LIVE for the grantaire + gavroche duo like theyre such a cute duo i cant     ⁃    DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING OH MY GOODNESS HARMONIESSSS - cry #4     ⁃    oh my gosh the eponine/thenardier fight i love them so much what a traumatic duo     ⁃    IN MY LIIIIIIIIIIIFE I WANT TO BE COSETTE SHES SO HOT     ⁃    A HEART FULL OF LOVE THOSE HARMONIESSSSS THE END OHMYGOSHHHH - cry #5     ⁃    stars - so much better than russell crowe but thats not saying much - 1000000/10 i love you javert     ⁃    I. LOVE. TENORS. OH. MY. GOODNESS.     ⁃    ONE DAY MORE. OH MY GOSH. THE CHOREO. THE SET. THE CHARACTERS. THE HARMONIES. THAT STUPID RED FLAG. OH. MY. GOSH. - ♾️/10 i love you marius never change - cry #6

side note- i was sobbing at the end of "one day more" as intermission started and house lights went up i just looked up at my mom + friend and said "i freaking love tenors" through copious tears ANYWHO-

ACT 2     ⁃    THE BARRICADE????? THE SET????????????? OHMYGOSH????     ⁃    OKAY OH MY GOODNESS WHO ALLOWED IT TO OPEN WITH ON MY OWN THATS NOT FAIR - cry #7     ⁃    little fall of rain OHHHH MY GOSHHHHH MARIUS PONTMERCY I LOVE YOU - cry #8     ⁃    AND WHY ON GODS BEAUTIFUL GREEN EARTH DID "DRINK WITH ME" IMMEDIATELY PROCEED THAT IM SOBBING     ⁃    gavroche sprinting across the stage and hugging grantaire like his life depends on it, grantaire turning around dropping to his knees and just hugging that sweet little boy i love him grantaire was shaking i love him     ⁃    grantaire i love you why did you leave me - cry #9     ⁃    AND THEN "BRING HIM HOME??? RIGHT THERE???? WTFFFF????? - cry #10     ⁃    WHO SET GAVROCHES DEATH I WANT TO HUG YOU AND KILL YOU AT THE SAME TIME YOU PUT A SPOT ON MY BOY ON CENTRE AT THE TOP OF THE BARRICADE AND THEN JUST LET HIM SLUMP INTO GRANTAIRES ARMS??? BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HURT ME THAT MUCH???? - cry #11     ⁃    and ohmygosh the dead silence after his death like everyones in shock oh my goodness gavroche come back i miss you     ⁃    UGHHHH THE WAY THE ABC BOYS DEATHS WERE SETTTTTT I CANT THE SPOTS ON ALL OF EM IM SOBBING - cry #12     ⁃    ENJOLRAS BEING THE LAST ONE AND DOING THE ARM RAISE AND THEN JUST FLOPPING OVER NOOOOO BBY DONT LEAVE ME ILY - cry #13     ⁃    the guy putting gavroche in the cart with enjolras SOBBING I MISS THEM     ⁃    javert starting to emotionally unravel when seeing gavroche dead     ⁃    OK BACKDROP I SEE YOU ATE IT UP     ⁃    thenardier i hate you i cant wait for you to die say hi to judas ascariot for me     ⁃    EMPTY CHAIRS AT EMPTY TABLES MARIUS I LOVE YOU - 10000000000000/10     ⁃    when "phantom faces at the window" all thE ABC BOYS CAME OUT WITH ENJOLRAS AND GAVROCHE SPLITTING CENTRE AS THE FIRST AND LAST OF THE ABC BOYS TO FALL ON THE BARRICADE LITERALLY STOP - cry #14     ⁃    javerts suicide omw literally in shock like jaw DROPPED tears STREAMING - cry #15     ⁃    the EMOTIONNNNNNN     ⁃    ALSO THE WHOLE SCENE LIKE THE BACKDROP??? THE TECH??? THE LIGHTING???     ⁃    orchestra i love you never change ever marry me     ⁃    the wedding ate i freaking love mme. thenardier shes so chaotic     ⁃    "this ones a queer / i'll give it a try" (mr thenardier dips another dude like a fricking king ily)     ⁃    marius i love you marry me forget cosette MARRY ME     ⁃    fantine in valjeans death scene I LITERALLY CANT I LOVE YOU - cry #16     ⁃    EPONINEEEEEE FANTINEEEEE I LOVE YOU     ⁃    valjean pulling off his coat and being in white bcs hes dead now UGH     ⁃    the FRICKING ENSEMBLE AND ENJOLRAS AND GAVROCHE SPLITTING CENTRE AGAIN WITH GRANTAIRE BESIDE GAVROCHE UGH I LOVE THEM - cry #17     ⁃    VALJEAN WALKING BACK AND HUGGING JAVERT UGH TEARS STREAMING - cry #18     ⁃    THE FINAL CHORD - "tomorrOW (pause for five seconds) COOOOOOOOOOOMEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" - cry #19     ⁃    I LOVE YOU ORCHESTRA

conclusion: i dont think i've cried that much in years and i know this is what i want to do with my life also i love you grantaire

thank you for your time i'm gonna go cry now

[yagurlhere]

Okay, so I just had a weird but VERY interesting dream...

So, it was like, a prequel or sequel to another section of the dream I had where I don't know how to describe cause it was chaotic and jumbled, but let's just say...Demon children being reborn.

So, the plot that kickstarts this all is that there's a baby...a literal Demon baby that I think was meant to be the son of Satan, in our house. And they would cause from small things like some mischief or acting unsettling, to FRICKING KILLING OTHERS IN BRUTAL WAYS. So let me explain. There were fictional characters from media too in this house, and the baby would execute them in brutal, unexpecting ways randomly. So yeah, basically The Omen, except more chaotic. The two core ones I remember was:

1. Fear and the other emotions from Inside Out were talking, possibly about the Demon baby, and I think Fear was trying to escape, but suddenly, a door opened up, and Fear was sucked to it. He tried to hold on, but ended up being sucked in and whisked away to God knows what fate awaited him, while the others emotions could only watch helplessly

2. The Demon baby had grown into a child, and they had stolen some cookies, and anyways, Trophy from Inanimate Insanity was nearby, and I think he was talking and maybe taunting the child, so what did they respond with...? Summoning a giant Insect in their hand, much to Trophy's shock and horror. I'm pretty sure it was like, a green Grasshopper, and anyways, more Insects and Bugs appeared, and the Grasshopper and the Insect army proceeded to swarm Trophy and overwhelm him...

Damn...

I was pretty unsettled and it would sometimes switch from cartoony to me and my family taking care of the child, and I'm pretty sure this all took place in Spring, Spring Break, or continuing this Summer Vacation, and I thought to myself "People be like: I had such a great Spring/Spring Break/Summer Vacation!!!! 😇😇😇😇😇😘😘😘💖💖💖 and meanwhile I'm like: Yeah, I spent my Spring/Spring Break/Summer Vacation trying to survive a DEMON BABY" so WOMP WOMP. I remember my other relatives visiting and I bring my grandparent(s), (pretty sure my grandpa,) being like "What an Angel 😇😊" and I was like "You have no idea 😒😏" lol.

I'm pretty sure I made a post about Fear and I added "Sorry Fear, love u pookie 🥺💖💖💖❤" and I wanted to add something to reassure him we'd get him back cause I think either his fate was more ambiguous, so there was a chance we could rescue him, or after we dealt with the Demon child, this was all just kind of a movie scenario dream or something, and we could get him and all the others victims back after, which kind of comforted me cause I felt more courage with that knowledge. Like, maybe I'm the heroine or something...?

Anyways, I think the dream section or dream stopped when I was going outside with my relatives to do something, and I might've woken up...? IDK. Anyways, there were more crazy dream sections I had, but I don't know if I can talk about them all right now.

Anyways, I was both relieved to wake up but also sad cause the dream was interesting, and I wanted to see how the story would end. Thinking of maybe actually making a fanfic about this...?

IDK.

Also, um, if anyone actually made art depictions that would be so cooooooooooool thank you ❤

[l0ganberry]

No fricking way you just said "Womp Womp"😭✋️

Confession time: This moment was the first thing that popped in my head when I first saw DogDay. His bigger body version.

[what-a-messsss]

1x9 rewatch

Yeeeee, this has Jacob and Mathias.  Good good.  ...It bothers me faaaar more than it should (which is to say, at all) that the episode title “Dogs, Horses and Indians” doesn’t have an Oxford comma.  Like, a lot.  o.o

Aaaaaahahaha, and here is Mathias being sneaky, sending Walt and Vic off to the northeast quadrant!  And I am once again confronted with my own double standard.  Because Mathias doing this has me kind of proud of him, but if Walt did it, I would be loading the solar catapult.  Hm.

Henry gives Walt so much leeway.  Mathias’ little dig at Henry about living on the Rez his whole life makes more sense to me now.  After all, Henry and Walt worked on oil rigs up in Alaska for at least part of their 20s according to later info.  That and him living above the Red Pony now, in Durant, make sense that there might be some added friction.

Wooooow.  Vic repeatedly said how weird it was that Mathias was being agreeable, so she just takes it upon herself to be even more of a jerk to balance things out?  Which... the heavy irony being that her “Maybe they didn’t want you running the investigation” crack is right, but also super wrong.  

Haa, the campaign advisor running “joke.” And Henry’s smiiiiile.

Oof.  Walt does not know the meaning of “tread lightly,” but again, he’s not wrong about this one.  Mathias did massively mess with the crime scene and muddle the investigation to a spectacular degree.  But Mathias is wily, and far more savvy about politics than Walt ever chooses to be.  And he’s right that he’s in an incredibly tight spot, and it’s not like he could have just asked for help.  Even if Walt had been inclined to help (haa), doing so would have totally undermined his credibility with the force and the tribe.

“Come on, Sheriff.  Can you look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never broke the law for the right reason?”  Matty, that’s his whooooole modus operandi.  As I think you well know.

I do wonder how long it’s been since Cady got her own place.  No judgement on her credit card statements still going there; one of my bills still ends up going to my mom’s despite attempts to change that, and it’s been over 5 years since I’ve lived with her.  But I do wonder.  

GOLF.  Baaahahaha, golf.  Of course the Connallys golf.  Barlow is suuuuuuuch a piece of shiiiiiit.  And of course he’s already leveraging favours and keeping track.  Oooo, but they do make it delightfully easy to hate him, and very satisfying, too.

NO, Walt, somebody being your deputy does not make their personal life your business.  Even when it involves your daughter.  Until either of them make it your business, it sure fucking isn’t.  And then the look on Branch’s face when Walt goes, “You... that’s a different story.”  Aaaah, back when Branch was vaguely sympathetic sometimes.  Ish.

Why... why does Walt charge in with no backup so often?  I guess just general self-destructive tendencies and all, but ffs.  He takes on a biker gang in their home territory with no back up.  On purpose.  He has no idea that the deputies have figured out where he is and are coming.  He just goes charging in and does some impressive damage, but if they hadn’t showed up when they did he’d be in traction or just flat out dead.  Exhausting.

I cannot for the life of me remember the actor’s name, but he’s in my head as Gabriel from the bit of time I did watch Supernatural.  He’s so squeaky new!  He’s such a rube.

I wonder how many ‘excessive force’ charges have been filed against Walt.  Probably not one in 20 times they could have been.  Ruby is not impressed.  And Vic is, as ever, an enabler.  Oooooo, Ruby just called him Walter.  She means business. Too bad he doesn’t give a shit about anything but what he wants.  ...I think I just figured out part of why Walt pisses me off so much.  That entitlement to do whatever the hell he wants and bother the rest rings really familiar from my dad.  Womp womp.  That can go on the list of things to talk about with the therapist.

Awwwww, Cady’s graduation photo on Henry’s desk!  He’s such a good second dad.  

I hadn’t thought about it the first time around, but @cminerva said something in one of our musings (that I think went into our joint fic) about Walt making Mathias come to him for things.  And here we are in the Red Pony, with Walt having had the Tribal Council brought to him, all 10 or so of them, rather than to go to them.  Which... that’s some fucked up power dynamic bullshit right there.  And they’re all sitting in a semi-circle, with Walt and Vic standing.  This is... so uncomfortable.  Crusty old white man scolds Tribal Council, literally standing there with his hands on his hips.  WITH HIS HAND ON HIS GUN--I fricking swear to gods, Walt, what the flaming hell.

Yeeeeeee, Jacob.  He’s so fluffy.  The sides of his hair are so long.  This is a delight.  Ok, but can I just take a moment with the fact that Jacob bought Eaglestar’s debt?  From a cynical point of view, it could be to make sure that he had the president of the tribal council effectively in his pocket, and there was probably an element of that.  But I do genuinely believe that as much of a pragmatist as he is, Jacob is a thwarted optimist.  When he says, “Because I bought his debt.  ...I wanted to make sure no one could influence his decisions, no one could force him to act against his own judgment,” that he’s telling the truth.  “He may have had demons, but he was his own man.”  I think that he probably hopes the same for himself.

Cady’s faaaace when Walt gets back and is ignoring the excessive force charge.  Officially one of my favourite moments of the whole show now.  Yus.  The sheer lack of respect that Walt has for his daughter. Blatant lack of respect for her and her expertice.  Yeet him into the sun, I’m telling you.

Who she sleeps with is not about you, you jackass.  This is such a good scene for her as an actor.  And such a bad scene for him as a dad.  He’s such a bad father.  Which makes me about 400x more grateful that she basically has Henry as her Other Dad.  Who does not suck as much.  Damn.

Mmmmm, Henry’s glasses make a return.

Vic’s “don’t shit where you eat” is pretty rich, considering her multi-year boner for her boss, and then actually getting together with him.  

I’m pretty ridiculously gone on Jacob.  He walks back in at the end the ep and my sad little heart just goes pitter patter.  I’d sort of forgotten that he doesn’t meet the blood-quantum requirements.

“Not cynical.  Just suspicious.”  No, no, suspicious aaand cynical.  You’re mighty good at multitasking on the shitty stuff, Walt.  The accusations he levels at Jacob are so utterly circumstantial, so completely without any shred of proof to back them up, but we’re still in the early days of the show, where we’ve seen him spin these “here’s what happened” things had seen them pan out, that the audience is inclined to believe him.  Walt also has a tendency to complicate things.

If Jacob was setting up dominoes behind the scenes, the convoluted mess that Walt postulates still doesn’t really make sense.  It would make more sense for Jacob to buy Malcolm’s debt in the hopes that he would possibly feel indebted or otherwise favourable towards him to not pass the blood-quantum resolution in the first place.  Arranging a convoluted murder to get himself a place on the council when there are clearly election anyway is just... not clean, not smart, and too liable to go wrong.  Jacob is careful and while he prefers delegating, a total wild card like Mika would be a huge risk for something that could blow up in his face so spectacularly.  Walt, you make no sense.  Como siempre.

This scene at the end with Branch and Cady reinforces my theory that Branch desperately wanted anything positive from Walt.  “He’ll get over it.”  “Yeah, with you.  You’re his daughter.  But me?”  And that’s kind of gutting for him.  So he squares up and off he goes.

“And I’m no quitter.”  No, you’re a drama llama.  Sheesh.

[gloom-and-doom-in-my-room]

Part 2 of playing Mario with my brother!

Lots of dialogue, I don't remember it all so I'll paraphrase.

Bowser: Mario, you have killed Peach-

Mario: Actually that was Wario disguised as me.

Bowser: And who killed Wario?

Mario: He faked his death.

Bowser: I saw his body.

Mario: It was a fake.

Bowser: I'm a doctor.

-----------------------------

Mario: OK, so I lied about eating Peach. We're seeing other people.

Bowser: Oh. But you still killed Wario and Waluigi for pooping on the floor. And ate the little mushroom people. AND STOLE MY HOUSE.

Mario: It's not fair!

Bowser: YOU HIT WOMP, DON'T TALK ABOUT FAIR!

----------------------------

Jonathan (Koopa Troopa): Maaaaaariiiiiooooo....

Mario: DIE!

Jonathan: IIIIII... juuuuussst.... caaaaaame.... toooo... giiive... yoooouuu... aaa.... leeeeetteeer...

Mario: I can't read.

Nobody can read except Womp.

Womp: Womp womp womp womp.

Mario: Bowser, translation?

Bowser: Do I look like I can speak Womp?

Jonathan: IIII... caaaan...

-----------------------------

The Mail arc:

Letter 1

Dear Mario,

I know what you did. I am sending my guards to arrest you for the murder of several mushrooms.

Also, if Bowser is with you, ask him if he would like to go on a date.

Peach

Letter 2

Dear Peach,

Yes, Bowser would like to go on a date with you. And your guards are all mushrooms. I will eat them.

Mario

Letter 3

Dear Bowser,

Does 6 at the palace sound good?

Also, tell Mario to stay put until the guards come.

Peach

Letter 4

Dear Peach

Luigi fricking died

Mario

(Mario: I also lied about that, he's just hiding in his room from Boos.) Dear Peach

Luigi is fricking paranoid.

Mario

Letter 5

Dear little brother

It is I, Mario, your big brother.

I hope the food has run out so you will come out of the house. I will be back on Monday if Bowser lets me go. Apparently I have to wait for Peach's guards to show up because I commited 'crimes against mushrooms'. Also, Peach and I broke up.

If I don't come home, I will break out of jail and kill you.

Mario

Letter 6

Dear Mario,

What the hell. Yes, the food has run out. No, I will not go outside. I will eat the tables. Specifically your table. Buttface.

Luigi

Letter 7

Dear Daisy,

It is I, Mario, your big brother-in-law. Go drag your boyfriend outside.

Also, disregard anything he says about me. I am not, and have never been a mushroom eater, AND WARIO FAKED HIS DEATH.

Mario

Your brother in law

Mario

Mario Mario

Mario M. Mario

Mario Mario Mario

Letter 8

Dear Mario,

I rescued Luigi. I also found a disturbing amount of mushroom corpses in your basement.

Also Waluigi's body. You know, Waluigi's missing body. The body that was missing.

Daisy

------------------------------

Also, Peach was cheating on Mario with Bowser. Cue a pokemon stlye battle, Mario vs. Jonathan, Womp, and Bowser. Mario gets knocked out and trapped in Womp's poop cage.

To be continued.

[jungshookz]

ceo!yoongi - daddy’s little girl

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ summary: it seems like hwayoung might have a favourite parent, and, spoiler alert: it’s not you.

→ genre: ceo!yoongi universe, fluFF aka jimin and hwayoung in matching teddy jackets, angst because parenthood is hard, lil touch of smut because yoongi n y/n have missed each other and hwayoung keeps cockblocking them womp womp

→ wordcount: 5.5k

→ notes: if you missed the ceo!yoongiverse as much as i did i hope you’ll like this drabble!! i’m sorry it took so long ya girl’s been buSY as heck! anyways i have moVed on from google translate and i have a vEry special translator who i will not expose in case they want to remain anonymous but for those of you who were horrified by the google translate korean from a couple drabbles ago i hope this time around it’s better!! also i couldn’t come up with a better title so get ur minds out of the guTTER

if you have no idea whO ceo!yoongi is, go ahead and read the fic that started it allllllllll anyways i hope you guys like this one! feel free to flood the friCK out of my inbox i love dat shit

or if you’re interested in reading other ceo!yoongi drabbles: the proposal | x | the wedding | x | the first date | x | jealousy | x | baby makes three | x | the fishnet stockings | x | baby min’s timeline | x | the birth of baby min | x |

if u wanna ask yoongs or y/n (or hwayoung?? u won’t get a lot outta her unfortunately) anything u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

you’re pretty sure hwayoung hates you

which is NOT fair because you gRew her for nine months and um also YOU BIRTHED HER

“we’re never going to get this diaper on if you keep kiCking me” you scowl as her tiny foot digs into your (still sensitive) stomach and you wince in pain

how the frick do diapers work

it’s just deconstructed underwear and you can’t even figure it out

which way is the back????

“okay, let me just…” you lift her up a little and slide the diaper underneath and plop her bum back down

hm

no that doesn’t look right

maybe that’s the front???

“sorry, wait-“ you lift her up again and she gurgles when you whIp the diaper away from under her “okay, now i got it”

you’re about to reach out to lift her up again but then

o frick

you sigh frustratedly when her face crumples up and she starts to wail “oH my god girl why are you crying?? what is there to cry about?????? do you want to hang out in a poopy diaper all day???? i’m trying to help you!!”

she starts to cry harder and now yOU want to cry

jesus

your ears are literally about to start bleeding

this girl has a pair of lungs for sure

“hey, what’s wrong? y/n, what did you do?” you turn as yoongi walks into the nursery looking as concerned as ever

“wha- what makes you think i did something??” you scoff and yoongi plucks the diaper from your hand

“오~케이 아빠왔다! 아빠가 기저귀 빨리 갈아줄게! [oh...okay... daddy’s here! daddy’s gonna change your diaper!]” yoongi tuts and slides the diaper underneath her and her wails begin to reduce to small hiccups and whimpers “y/n, jagi, i know you’re tired but maybe you shouldn’t yell at our two-month-old child, hm?”

“i wasn’t yelling-“

“you kind of were” yoongi mutters and you clench your fists in frustration

you can’t help it

you haven’t slept in like a week so you’re exhausted and you feel like you’re about to pass out all the time

your boobs are always just,.., leaKIng

your nipples!!! are so chaffed!!! and so raw!!!!!!!!

all of your clothes are now stained with multiple types of bodily fluids

you watch as yoongi tightens the straps and then sticks the little tabs down

and the whole time

hwayoung doesn’t move and barely makes a peep

she gurgles as he tucks her legs back into the onesie and buttons her little outfit back up

“alright, you chunky monkey” he pinches her thighs and grins down at her “we’re all done! 아~ 내 째깐한기— 누구 딸이길레 이렇게 귀여운거야? [oh, you’re so cute - whose baby is this cute?]” he coos and tickles her plump lil belly

he rubs his nose against hers and her tiny palm slaps against his cheek

yoongi picks her up and cradles her in his arms and she sucks her fist into her mouth

“how about you go and take a shower? i can take care of her for a bit” yoongi murmurs and yanks her fist out of her mouth

she whines and shoves her fist back in

he doesn’t give you a choiCe because then he’s walking out of the nursery

okay

guess you’re taking a shower

you let out a long sigh as the hot water rains down on you

you don’t know how you’re going to survive motherhood

it’s already so hard

you can’t even put a diaper on

you know what

motherhood is difficult buT you know for a fact it’s going to become easier

yeah

just give it some time

everything will be fine

3AM

the sudden sound of wailing jolts you awake and you sit up immediately

the baby monitor next to you is blinking like crazy

u don’t even need the baby monitor to tell u that hwayoung is crying because her cries are so loUD

you reach over and turn on the lamp and let out a sigh

there’s some shuffling next to you and yoongi reaches over and places a hand on your bare thigh

“i got it, don’t worry.” yoongi murmurs and rubs the sleep out of his eyes with his other hand

“you had a long day at work today… i can take care of it” you bring his hand up to your mouth and press a kiss over his knuckles

“no… no….i…i got it…” yoongi rolls over onto his stomach and flops an arm over your lap

he’s basically fallen back asleep and you can’t help but snort quietly at your husband

you run your fingers through his hair gently before pushing him back so that he’s on his back

you let out another yawn and crawl out of bed

“coming, i’m coming…” you make your way down the hall to hwayoung’s room

goD

you are so tired you could pass out right now

“hi, sweet girl… can’t sleep, hm?” you scoop her up into your arms and she tucks her face into the crook of your neck and continues to sob

you can feel your shoulder getting wet from the copious amount of tears and snoT being produced by your child as you pace back and forth

you spend the next twenty or so minutes trying to calm her down but nothing seems to be working

she keeps spitting out her pacifier

you tried bouncing her and it didn’t work

you cradled her in your arms and sat in the rocking chair and it didn’t work

you even tried singing that stupid tomato song that jungkook and jimin sing to her that she seems to like (u don’t really know the lyrics so it was basically just you saying ‘tomato’ over and over again but in the tune of the song lmao)

“she’s still crying?” you look over your shoulder to see yoongi standing by the door

you’re about to respond but hwayoung lets out another ear-piercing sob

he scratches at his bare chest and lets out a yawn before holding his arms out “c’mere, give her to me”

you’re about to protest because u want to prove to yourself AND yoongi that you are capable of making your guys’ child stop crying but like

your arms are starting to get tired

and hwayoung doesn’t seem like she’s going to stop crying any time soon

the moment yoongi takes her into his arms her cries start to quiet down significantly and you’re like ????????

are u having a fever dream

is this even happening right now

“yeah, there we go… 아이고야, 아기야 울지말거라.....[no need to cry…]” yoongi coos and pats her back gently

a fat tear rolls down her cheek as she shuts her eyes and-

what

did she just fall asleep

she totally just fell asleep

“hey, look at that! easy-peasy.” yoongi teases but the smile drops from his face when he sees that you are very noT amused

“that is so not fair.” you grumble and watch him put her back in her crib

as days start bleeding into weeks you can’t help but realise just how exhausting being a mother is

you can’t even grasp the basic concept of time because you’ve been hanging out at home all day and all night

you only know it’s nighttime whenever yoongi comes back from work

yoongi’s been a vEry supportive and doting husband and father even though you know he’s super busy at work

he offers to make dinner and he gives you back massages when you need it

he’s always the first one outta bed whenever hwayoung starts crying in the middle of the night

jimin and kook stop by from time to time

most of the time they bring food for you which you’re very grateful for

the point is

usually you have someone there with you whenever things get rough

but tonight

tonight is really testing you

yoongi isn’t going to be home for a little while longer

jimin is busy at work with yoongi

jungkook’s hanging out with his other pals tonight

so it’s just you and your baby

speaking of your baby

hwayoung is being especially difficult tonight

more difficult than usual

you can’t help but wonder if she inherited the stubborn gene from you (the answer is yes in case it wasn’t already painfully clear)

she hasn’t cried in two hours which is concerning because she usually bursts into tears like every twenty minutes

that means when she eventually cries it’s going to be the most intense waiLS you think you’ll ever get from her

“you sure you don’t want any milk?” you let out a sigh of frustration as you try feeding her your nipple and she moves her head away before bursting into tears “c’mon, just-“ you try manoeuvring her head towards your boob again and she whips her head away “hwayoung, please, mommy’s boob is literally probABly going to explode if you don’t-“ she starts to cry harder and you’re pretty sure she’s going to pop a lung if she doesn’t stop “okay okAY okay no milk no milk” you shush and stand up and start bouncing her gently

you wince and reach up to cup your boob

o god

your boobs hurt so fuckign much

you need to pump some milk out before you pass out

you haven’t used the breast pump yet because hwayoung’s been diligent with the milk drinking but for some reason she’s refused to drink aLL day today which has resulted in what you think is an ovERProduction of milk in your boobs

“shh, it’s okay, there’s nothing to cry about…” you mutter as you go through the cupboards and- “ah! found it!!”

“mommy’s just gonna put you down here, okay?” hwayoung’s calmed down a bit but you know she’s still irritated because she keeps fussing and whining

you lie her down on the couch and take a seat next to her

you don’t think you’ve ever felt suCh relief in your life when you finally attach the pump to your boob and it starts suCkINg the milk out of your body

“thank god..” you sigh and rest your head back against the couch

all that can be heard in the room is the continuous pumping of the machine with hwayoung’s occasional babble thrown in

see

everything’s fine

you glance over and-

“hwayoung-!” you gasp and imMediately reach out to grab her before she can roll off the damn couch

and then all hell breaks loose

your hand knocks against the bottle attached to your boob when your arms whIP out to grab onto her

the bottle tumbles onto the ground and you literally want to die when the milk spills out and starts soaking into the rug

that was

that was like all of your milk

that was hwayoung’s meal and it’s all gone

“fuckin-“ hwayoung’s shrieking at this point and you have no idea what to do

here you are in the middle of the living room with a boob hanging out of your nurSing bra with your child crying into the crook of your neck

“okay, it’s fine, don’t cry!” you seem like you’re telling yourself that rather than hwayoung

you groan in pain when you shoVe your sore boob back into your bra and you don’t even bother buttoning yoongi’s shirt up because there’s no timE

“okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, mommy’s here,” you try to shush hwayoung as you furiously dab at the carpet with her ducky blanket

she’s squirming in your grip and you wince when she smacks her tiny fist against your face

“-daddy heard your crying all the way from- woAh what the hell” the last thing yoongi expects to see when he walks into the penthouse is the sight of you on your knees scrubbing at the carpet while cradling hwayoung in your arms (who is squirming so much she’s literally about to faLL out of your arms)  

“take her, i need to clean up the milk” yoongi rushes over and takes hwayoung from you and you immediately zip to the kitchen to grab the cleaning supplies

“눈물 뚝... [don’t cry, don’t cry...]” yoongi whispers and bounces her in his arms

she continues blubbering and big fat tears roll down the sides of her face “화영아 울지마... 아빠야.. [hwayoungie, don’t cry... it’s daddy...] no, no! don’t cry, it’s okay!] y/n, what happened??”

“i- it’s fine, everything’s fine, it was an accident,” you breathe out as you come back with a damp cloth “-i was pumping milk and i put her down and i wasn’t paying attention and she was wiggling around a lot and i guess she squirmed all the way to the edge of the couch buT BUT i caught her! i caught her and ended up ripPing the pump off my boob-“ you drop to your knees and start dabbing at the milk

it’s too late

most of it has soaked into the rug and you don’t want the living room to reek of your crusty breast milk when it fully dries

shiT

you should grab the bleach

but this rug was eXPENSIVE

“i’ll go put her to bed, okay? i’ll be right back”

you don’t know if it’s the hormones or the lack of sleep or whatever but suddenly you feel your eyes starting to well up with tears the moment you’re left alone

it’s just

you’re so overwhelmed and so tired

hwayoung hates you

you can’t do anything right

you can’t even put a damn diaper on your baby

you can’t get her to drink from your stupid boob

and not to mention it took you like 20 minutes to figure out how to attach a pump to your boOb

your movements start to slow down significantly when it hits you

you’re an unfit mother

it’s true

you are an unfit mother

“she’s a bit fussy tonight, no?” yoongi jokes as he comes down the stairs

he purses his lips when you don’t reply and continue to scrub fuRIously at the rug “…lemme help-“

“no, it’s okay.” you shake your head quickly and swallow the lump growing in your throat

yoongi kinda stands there awkwardly because he doesn’t know,..,,. what to do.,.,

“okay. uh… do you… want pizza for dinner? cauliflower crust good with you.” he jokes aGain as he loosens his tie

and once again

he’s met with nothing but silence

he feels like this is the calm before the storm

something’s coming

u know what

he’s just going to call the pizza place

he’ll make sure to get extra garlic dip for u

hopefully that’ll cheer you up a bit

you lean back against the couch and look down at the dark patch on the rug

okay well

you got most of the milk out

so everything is fine now

yes

everything is fine

you press your lips together to try and suppress the incoming soB because you know yoongi’s tired and he probably doesn’t want to deal with-  

“i’m a terrible mother!” you burst into tears and immediately reach up to cover your face with your hands and yoongi jumps in surprise

thEre it is

“baby, no! you’re not a terrible mother!!” yoongi’s brows knit together and he drops to the ground right next to you

you immediately launch yourself into yoongi’s arms and bury your face into the crook of his neck

“i just don’t understand why i can’t do anything right like i can’t [hiccup] even change her diaper i don’t know [sob] what the f-front of the diaper looks like and what the back of the diaper [hiccup] looks like and she won’T EVEN drINk from my b-boob so now my boobs huRT [sob] and i know it’s not her fault because it’s always my fault i’m the one who keeps messing up howamisupposedtotakecareofababywhenicanbarelytakecareofmyself-“  

yoongi can barely understand what you’re saying because your words are muffled and you’re blurring them together pluS you’re uncontrollably sobbing but he manages to make out a couple of your sentences

he lets you cry and cry and crY out all your anger and sadness and frustrations for the next ten minutes until you quite literally have no tears left to cry

you sniffle and pull away from yoongi

your eyes are watery and puffy and your nose is red and your lips are swollen “…so how was work?”

“you aren’t a terrible mother.” yoongi deadpans before reaching up to cup your cheeks “how’d you manage to get that silly idea into your head?”

you scoff and reach up to wipe at your eyes “yoongi, i can’t do anything right. you’re nailing this whole being a parent thing and i’m just fucking it up for everyone.”

“no, you’re not! and you’re not alone, you know that! we’re both in this together - last time i checked, hwayoung is half of you and half of me. i have my fuck up moments too! i didn’t tell you this because i didn’t want you to get mad but i accidentally clipped hwayoung’s finger when i was cutting her fingernails and there was a little bit of blood but-“

“you whAT-“

“-not to mention, you have jimin and unfortunately you have jungkook too but the point is you are not alone in this!!! i know things are hard right now because babies are difficult but you are not a terrible mother. you take care of hwayoung-ie so well and you love her so much and i can’t even think of any woman more perfect than you to raise my child. it’ll get better, i promise. but for now, the most important thing you need to know is that you are not a terrible mother.” yoongi holds your face up “look at me and say it.”

your eyes flicker up to him before they look back down at the rug “…u r not a terrible mother”

“y/n, seriously-“

“i am not a terrible mother.” you murmur and reach up to wipe at your puffy eyes

“i would ask you to say it louder but i’m not risking waking the baby up.” yoongi laughs lightly and wipes a stray tear away for you before giving you a sweet lil kiss “you okay?”

“ya i guess so... you still gonna order pizza for us?”

“mhm”

“with extra cheese?”

“yup”

“and stuffed crust?”

“…well now you’re just pushing it buT yes, you deserve stuffed crust.”

:-)

yoongi was right

things got better

“what’s the matter with this film?? it’s about mermaids! i’m sure you’ll grow to like mermaids.” you look over at hwayoung who’s just chilling in her little rocker

since you and yoongi are ~millennial~ parents obviously you guys had to get your baby more modern things

it’s a rocker that rocks itself!!

..or maybe u guys are just lazy lol

hwayoung gurgles and her little arms flail around a bit

“unless you wanna watch basketball or something.” you mutter and switch the channel

you’re sitting on the ground next to her and the both of you are just enjoying each others’ company

once again hwayoung’s pudgy bread roll arms flail around

“what’s the matter, miss fussy?” you coo and pull her out of the rocker gently and proceed to place her on your chest

you lower the volume on the tv because you figure she’d appreciate more silence since she’s tryna go to sleep

“alright alright just gimme a second to get comfortable.” you can’t help but laugh when she lets out the tiniest most adorable yawn

you sit on the couch and lean back a bit and hwayoung burrows her face into the crook of your neck before turning and squishing her cheek against your shoulder

and-

you pause

“…hwayoung?” you whisper and awkwardly crane your neck so you can kINda look at her face

oh my god

she fell asleep

no way

you press your lips together to keep yourself from scREECHING in excitement because she nEVER falls asleep in your arms!!!!!!! EVER

holy shit

ok

oh god

now you can’t move because u don’t want to wake her up

u know what it’s totally fine because the point is hwayoung is sleeping on yOU

“i can do this.” you breathe out as you look up at the ceiling

yeah

you can do this

you’re not a terrible mother

yoongi shuts the door behind him as quietly as he can

the penthouse is eerily quiet tonight and yoongi’s only slightly concerned

he’s tempted to call out for you but he doesn’t want to just in case-

oh

aw

yoongi has to press his lips together to suppress the big fat grin on his face because there you are

there you are

asleep on the couch with an arm hanging off the edge while the other is wrapped around hwayoung

meanwhile hwayoung is sprawled on top of you with her lil cheek smushed against your chest

her little duckie blanket is tossed over her

the two of you are drooling which yoongi finds absolutely endearing

“c’mere...” yoongi scoops hwayoung up from your chest and cradles her in his arms

she stirs in her sleep and her little nose twitches (yoongi wants to melt right then and there because she definitely picked that up from you!!)

he tucks her into bed as slowly as possible so that she doesn’t wake up

of course his head knocks into the mobile hanging above her bed and it jingles a little bit

luckily she’s a deep sleeper

he picks up her little chocolate chip cookie plushie (you named it shooky for some reason which don’t even make any damn sense) and places it right next to her head

and then he just takes a moment to admire her

wow

that’s his little baby

that’s his daughter

he never thought he’d be a dad this young

heck

he didn’t even think he’d be married this young but

u know what

life works in funny ways

and he’s pretty sure he’s the luckiest guy in the world

the floorboards creak under his feet as he makes his way back to you

he bends down and reaches over to move a strand of hair away from your face

“y/n…” yoongi whispers and smiles fondly when you stir in your sleep

there’s that nose twitch

you peel an eye open before reaching over to cup yoongi’s jaw “hey… you’re finally ho-“ suddenly you sit straIGHt up and look down

“i put her in bed a minute ago” you visibly relax and you let out a sigh before lying back down

“she fell asleep on me tonight” you hum happily “i think she likes me”

yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes before getting back up onto his feet “c’mon, you. let’s get you into bed too” you let out a whine and swat lazily at his hand

“i’m too tired to move”

classic

yoongi bends down to pick you up

you wrap your arms around his neck and he wraps your legs around his waist

“c’mon, you big baby.”

he bounces you a little to make sure he has a good grip on you and you hum

this position feels very familiar hEhe

“i thought you were tired” yoongi teases when he feels you begin to plant kisses down his neck as he makes his way up the stairs

“changed my mind” you murmur

one hand wraps around the nape of his neck

meanwhile your other hand wraps around his bicep and you give him a lil squeeze

hoLy moly

“have you been working out?” you pull away from him and yoongi raises his eyebrows

“if by rocking our child to sleep every night for like two hours straight, then yes, i have been working out”

yoongi plops you down on the mattress before settling in between your legs

you wrap your legs around his waist and yoongi can’t help but laugh because he’s trYIng to undo his tie but you keep pawing at him

“what’s gotten into you??” you’ve sat up to unbuckle his belt

you are a woman on a mission

and he’s not complaining

you’re just being vERY speedy

“our baby might start crying at any moment-“

“she sleeps like a log-“

“buT she always starts crying at the most inconvenient time!! it’s like she knows everythING that goes on- christ, you’re really taking your sweet time with- you know what-“ suddenly everything whiRLS and yoongi’s staring up at the ceiling

he blinks twice

what the heck

“now shut up and enjoy the ride.”

god

he really is the luckiest guy in the world

“look, we match!” jimin beams

he has hwayoung cradled in his arms and she’s sucking on her fist while wearing the most adorable teddy jacket

and jimin

jiMIN is wearing an equally as adorable teddy jacket and you’re pretty sure your heart stops beating when he nuzzles his nose into her cheek

they’re both so squishy

she places her hand over his mouth and pinches his plump bottom lip in response and he yelps in pain which then triggers hwayoung to become a giggling mess

“y/n, take a picture!!” jimin hands you his phone and points to you in an attempt to get hwayoung to look at the camera

she keeps staring at him as if she were completely entranced by his beauty which.,.,. is fair

jungkook appears behind you and starts whistling and popping his tongue “정국삼촌보세요!!! [look at uncle jungkook!]”

jimin grins for the camera and squishes his cheek against hwayoung’s as he squeezes her tight

hwayoung squeals in delight when jungkook sticks his tongue out and crosses his eyes and you snap the picture quickly

“got it??” jimin bounces hwayoung up and down while continuing to squish his cheek against hers

you nod and hand his phone back to him expEcting him to give you hwayoung

“i’m taking her for the rest of the day!! i have to show the reSt of the office my baby”

“your baby?? i’m the one who pushed her out of my vagina!” you scoff and jimin puShes past you while baby-talking to hwayoung

“look at you in your little teddy jacket, you cutie! uncle jimin loves spoiling you, yes he does! i’m gonna take you on a shopping spree and you can buy whatever your little heart wants!”  

she babbles back to him and shoves her fist back into her mouth

“화영이 내꺼~야, 삼촌이 더 좋지? [hwayoung is mine~ i’m better, right?]” jimin coos and you watch as he disappears down the hallway

well

you’re probably never going to get your child back now

jungkook didn’t think he’d like hwayoung as much as he does because like

babies are disgusting

and annoying

and loud

and they drool and poop everywhere and they’re just constantly leaking fluids

but bitch

he is W HI P P ED for this baby with a capital wH

“i love tummy time, don’t you?” jungkook sighs and rests his cheek against his fist before looking over at hwayoung

he reaches over to squeeze her bread roll arm

squidge

uWU

“i’m gonna eat ur little bread roll arms yes i am yes i am” he shifts closer and leans down to nip at her elbow and she squawks

you can’t help but snort before returning your attention back to your laptop

you set up hwayoung’s mobile in yoongi’s office and jungkook popped over with your coffee and is supposed to go back to work immediately but here he is lying on the floor with your baby

hwayoung gurgles before letting out a huff and squishing her cheek against the floor

keeping your head up is hard work okAy give her a break

jungkook flips over onto his back and reaches up to whack at the little moon plush that’s hanging from the top of the mobile

hwayoung lets out a muffled whine because her face is currently smooshed against the floor seeing that she cannoT LIFT HER HEAD SOMEONE HELP HER

“알았~어 인제 한번 뒤집어보자? [okay~ how about we flip you over?]” jungkook tilts his head backwards so that he can look at hwayoung but all he sees is the top of her head

he sits up before turning and picking hwayoung up gently and flips her over like a lil pancake

“jungkook, careful” you scowl and jungkook waves you off before reaching down to flick the moon plush

hwayoung reaches up to try and grab it

her chubby fingers brush against the bottom of it and jungkook coos

“you can’t reach the moon because of your sausage fingers, ya loser” he teases and reaches down to boop her nose and she swats at his finger

jungkook is still hooked on this bread roll arm thing (he’ll never get over it for as long as he lives) and pretty soon all that can be heard in the room is him fAWning over hwayoung

“얘는 팔에 식빵 있네! 식빵 사세요!!! [this baby has bread-roll arms! come buy this bread!]” he laughs as he wiggles her plump arm around

yep

caPITAL wH

“and if those papers aren’t on my desk by monday morning 8am you can consider yourself fiREd” yoongi barks before slamming the phone back down onto the receiver “ridiculous! absolutely ridiculous” he scoffs and whips around

hwayoung squawks in the baby carrier and wraps her tiny fingers around yoongi’s pointer finger

“하.. 나진짜! [i mean, seriously!]” yoongi bounces up and down as he continues to ramble on and on “이 사람들은 내 시간 낭비하는게 일인가.. 서류 작성하는게 뭔 어려운 일이라고...??[these people are wasting my time! how hard is it to fill out documents??]”

when the korean comes out that’s when you know yoongi’s suPer pissed

you poke your head through the crack of the door and you’re only a little surprised to see yoongi pacing back and forth ranting angrily while hwayoung lets out the occasional babble

she looks at you like she wants you to save her from this hELL because yoongi’s bouncing her a little bit too aggressively now

she’s got her fingers wrapped around his pointer finger as he goes oN and oN

yoongi looks down at the baby attached to his chest “don’t you think this is ridiculous? i’m probably going to have to start firing people at this rate.”

hwayoung looks up at him and gurgles

“누구 해고하는거 내 마음인데, [i can fire whoever i want] thank you very much.”

“agha”

“얘네 무능하다 [they’re incompetent], that’s why!”

“bajdsl”

hm

this seems like a daddy-daughter moment

you’ll leave them alone for now

“you look like such a dad.” you snort and yoongi glances over at you before returning his attention to the TV

“i am a dad.”

he’s wearing a plaid button-up pyjama top with a t-shirt underneath (because it’s still a lil cold out) and hwayoung is lying on his chest just snoozing away

she’s wearing a matching plaid onesie which is adorable and u know yoongi did it on puRpose

you sit down next to yoongi and peek at hwayoung

her cheek is squished against his chest and you can’t help but poke her little nose

you rest your head on yoongi’s shoulder n he gives the top of your head a kiss

in this moment you can’t help but feel overwhelmingly happy

because you love your husband

and you love your daughter

“…i think hwayoung just pooped.”

…and you love your lil family of three.

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Same omg

“  #JUST SAY FUCK!!!! PLEASE #ive only see ppl in fandom use it #and it gives me the energy of people saying fricking/freaking/frick frack “

Right??? It just kinda feels... Childish??

No movies/shows characters have said it, I’ve seen it come up in comics/books/battlefront II, it’s very arbitrary.

Some alternative popular star wars swears/insults that are used (often quite frequently) in the shows/movies:

- sleemo

- dank farrik

- karabast

- scrag

- bantha fodder/crap

- poodoo

- every word Leia uses to describe Han

- moof-milker

- son of a bantha

- womp rat

and more

unpopular opinion but kriff/kriffing annoys me more than dank ferrik

[junker-town]

Yes, the Jazz lost by 50 points to a lottery team

We have that and more in Thursday’s NBA newsletter.

The Jazz lost by 50 points to a 6-8 squad that has been in the lottery for the last two seasons.

The Jazz lost by 50 points.

50.

Points.

The Jazz shot 31 percent and watched the victorious Mavericks shoot 58 percent. Utah scored all of 22 points in the second half. Dallas scored more than that in each individual quarter. Had the Mavericks failed to score at all in the fourth quarter, they still would have won by 16. Had the Mavericks failed to score at all in the entire second half, they would have only lost by 10.

The Mavericks played really well, and might in fact be an upstart squad worth paying attention to as we shuffle toward the quarter pole of the season. But teams like the Jazz shouldn’t lose by 50 to anybody, and especially not teams under .500.

Scores

Sixers 106, Magic 111 Cavaliers 95, Wizards 119 Bulls 82, Celtics 111 Heat 120, Nets 107 Pistons 106, Raptors 104 Grizzlies 116, Bucks 113 Pelicans 100, Timberwolves 107 Knicks 103, Thunder 128 Jazz 68, Mavericks 118 Spurs 96, Suns 116 Blazers 117, Lakers 126

Schedule

Warriors at Rockets, 8 p.m. ET, TNT Hawks at Nuggets, 9 p.m. ET, League Pass Spurs at Clippers, 10:30 p.m. ET, TNT

Links

LeBron passed Wilt Chamberlain on the all-time scoring list. What are the odds he catches Kareem?

Nick Nurse replaced his fired mentor in Toronto. That’s weird, writes Seerat Sohi. How was Nurse handled it?

Speaking of which, Dwane Casey’s Pistons came from 19 down in Toronto and won on a Reggie Bullock buzzer beater off a baseline out-of-bounds play. Un-fricking-believable. The NBA is amazing sometimes. When the Raptors lose, they lose in style. Wow.

The Sixers lost Jimmy Butler’s debut. Womp womp. The Wolves won another game without Jimmy.

An important story on Kobe’s legacy and future in a new Hollywood from Kent Babb in the Washington Post. There’s a fairly shocking, off-putting quote from Bryant in there.

Kevin Arnovitz on the clock ticking in the background of the Pelicans’ season.

Believe in the Kings? If you like being miserable, go right ahead.

Fun piece from Andrew Keh on the decidedly un-fun Larry Brown, now getting his basketball coaching fix in Italy.

Brian Windhorst on Jimmy Butler, Kawhi Leonard, and what trade demands are doing to the NBA.

Bomani Jones explains the legend of White Donte.

Dan Devine’s most interesting teams of the week. The Warriors are legitimately interesting for reasons not connected to their overwhelming excellence for the first time in a long time.

Kristaps Porzingis just wants from cookie dough Ben and Jerry’s, y’all. I need to know if he prefers Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough or Half Baked, though. This is important.

Trae Young Hive, please assemble for a group discussion on this triumphant Andrew Sharp piece.

What Dario Saric and Robert Covington can do for the Wolves.

Ethan Strauss’s theories on why Draymond Green and Kevin Durant blew up. I wondered if this spells out the end of the Warriors dynasty. Here’s a timeline of Green-Durant arguments. Meanwhile, Stephen Curry is out at least five more games.

And finally: these photos of Trae Young and Kevin Durant over the course of, like, 10 years are adorable.

Be excellent to each other.