#women's bathrooms

[hjellacott]

I did an accidental social experiment about trans in bathrooms. It was very revealing.

I was recently in Stansted Airport (UK) and they've got this snail-shaped entrance to the bathrooms so as you come out of the ladies you have to turn left to leave or right to the men's. And there was A LOT of people so I got confused and as I came out I accidentally HEADED for the men's. Let me be clear I didn't even reach their door.

I was wearing a hoodie and a long coat plus face covering so I could've perfectly been a trans man, but immediately, not one, not two, but about five men all around me began shouting things like "wrong way!" "Men only!" "You're a girl!" So I immediately realised I'd turn the wrong way and left.

But then I sat thinking. Mine was a completely innocent mistake. It was only my second time in that airport, incredibly early morning, I was tired and turned the wrong way. But what if I HAD actually been trans, heading for the bathroom I felt most comfortable in? The men wouldn't have allowed. There were dozens there (peak time plus is right next to a rest area, drinking water fountain and near a bar) and no one shouted "shut up perhaps he's a boy!". On the contrary, even with how covered I was, I was correctly identified as a woman and multiple people made it very clear very loudly that the men's isn't my place, and that telling me so wasn't a bad thing. Even as I left some people kindly said "yours is right next, darling".

So it's not OK for women to enter the men's. Even if I had felt like a man. Men have a right to decide I don't belong there, let me know, and I must respect it.

So why isn't the same with women? Why can't women just as easily and naturally decide who they don't want there with no negative consequences?

Clue: misogyny.

[mckitterick]

[ ID: screenshot of a post by sara -

an adventuring party that forms in the women's bathroom of the tavern because someone is crying and random drunk girls at a bar will do anything for you /ID ]

[jessica-marie-baumgartner]

What a great way to prove that men don't belong in women's bathrooms

[rawstrap]

I've seen people say terf rhetoric is any hatred of men and I've seen people say terf rhetoric is anything transphobic said by anyone. the refusal to actually engage with the reality that terfism is primarily focused on oppressing trans women is in itself a form of transmisogyny. yes they hate all trans people, but it is quite easy to see who they primarily target with their words, actions and policies, you just don't want to care about trans women. claiming someone is a man hater doesn't mean you get to call them a terf or a radfem, thats an obvious, willfull dilution and denial of what terfs are.

[mylittlesecrethaven]

Preferred Bathrooms

This is just my opinion of the gender bathrooms I've gone in.

Men: Honestly, it's ok. Some places don't have stall doors and sometimes the urinals don't have those little side thingys (I can't remember what they're called) and it's just uncomfy to look over and see that.

Women: It's not as common, but some places also don't have stall doors. Also, they have those baby changing stations (which are sometimes in the men's) and the little dispensers (which are always empty for some reason) which is nice. Also, from what I've seen, in sleazy places, women's bathrooms are dirtier and men's are cleaner, and in nicer places women's bathrooms are cleaner and men's bathrooms are dirtier.

Family: I like family bathrooms because there's an actual door and you aren't sharing stalls. It's really nice.

Gender Neutral: Idk. Never been in one.

[butch-reidentified]

in the real world, women DO interact in restrooms. all the time. this is such an "awkward loser" description of using the restroom. I'm sorry, truly not TRYING to be mean, just calling it like I see it. I've made lasting friendships in bathrooms while partying downtown. I've exchanged numbers with well over 100 women in restrooms in my lifetime, and I'm not even 30.

& there's a reason women fought for separate restrooms. there's a reason women's restrooms in the airport are wallpapered with human trafficking warning posters.

and as said & reiterated in the tags before, mutual aid in women's restrooms is very very real and common. I made a post like just a couple weeks ago giving advice on how to handle encountering a potential abuse situation in public, and using the women's restroom to get even a second's interaction with her was a CRUCIAL part of my advice. and something I've done multiple times.

women's restrooms are not and never have been JUST a "toilet's space," and you are either male, a child, or laughably privileged if you truly think that 🤷

the idea of public restrooms as "women's spaces" continues to confound me. you know who I hope is in a public bathroom when I go in?? no one. I would prefer no one else be in the bathroom. and if someone else is in the bathroom I am going to ignore them as much as possible. I did not go into the bathroom to connect with other women. I went into the bathroom to piss and/or shit. it's a toilet's space, not a women's space. shut the fuck up and let trans people piss and shit in peace. let's all continue to avoid eye contact with each other and any and all interaction in the toilet's space.

[asteroidaffection]

[feloire]

[mindsynthcreations]

Intimacy

[anti-terf-posts]

remembering the time I came across a radfem blog that shared links to articles that supported radfem beliefs, and one of them was literally about how gender and sex is different. like yes ???? that's what we've been saying the entire time ???? you guys are soooo close 😭

[femconstellation]

Not a huge fan of how gay men think they are separate from ‘men’ as a group. Yes, when we criticize men, you are included in that. You are not your own separate sex.

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

[katzish]

genuinely fucking furious about reactions to Mcbride, especially seeing this shit coming from fellow trans ppl…. like have you lost the fucking plot????

[feloire]

[theereina]

This is the level of organized I want to be.