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hafanforever · 4 years ago

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It’s Good to Be Bad

I’ve described in previous analyses that I have a strong affinity for villains in fiction, including those by Disney. But like any fan of Disney, there are villains that I love and ones that I deeply detest with every bone in my body. So for my last analysis of the year, I will discuss my five most favorite and five least favorite Disney animated villains, though I also want to list a couple of other characters as honorable mentions to explain why I like or hate them.

The reasons I have for liking my favorite villains are simple, if not somewhat shallow, because I don’t exactly have deep reasons for liking them. Regardless of how evil, sadistic, cruel, and ruthless they are, I like them primarily because they are funny or charismatic. But it’s so much easier for me to list why I hate my least favorite villains, which is largely attributed the kinds of traits they display (most of which I cannot stand in people), their motives for being evil, and how they carry out their evil deeds while showing their evil natures.

This essay has turned into a longer one than I anticipated, so I am adding the “Keep reading” feature. Before I begin, I want to thank my dear buddy and soul sis @minervadeannabond for coming up with this title. Here is yet again another analysis of mine for you to enjoy, sis! 😁😄😉❤️

Most Favorites

Scar - Since The Lion King was the very first Disney film I ever saw in theaters as a child, and the first one I remember well from my childhood, many of my favorites Disney things come from it, including Scar being my #1 favorite Disney villain. Yes, he is a sadistic, tyrannical, narcissistic, cold-blooded murderer, but I think it is because of his cunning, smooth, elegant, charismatic nature and how pivotal he is to the story, particularly with how much he turns out to be a dark reflection of Simba, is why I love him so much. Furthermore, his song “Be Prepared” is my favorite villain song and among my favorite Disney songs of all, further showing how much The Lion King has given me Disney favorites since I was a child. 😁

Hades - Another one I remember well from my childhood, Hades is undoubtedly one of the funniest villains from the Disney animated canon. Although he is as cruel, evil, ruthless, and sadistic as any Disney villain, Hades is also so fast-talking, sleazy, sarcastic, cheeky, and hilarious that it makes it hard for me to take him seriously as a menacing villain. And while he constantly goes into fiery rages and blows his hot-headed top when furious, these help make Hades far more a comical, rather than scary, figure. Heck, when I was a kid, I always laughed, rather than got scared, whenever he unleashed one of his temper tantrums (except when he blows up at Meg with “I OWN YOU!!!”). And James Woods’s performance, especially since he ad-libbed many lines, helps make Hades such an unforgettable and memorable, if not lovable, character. So yeah, Hades’s wisecracking, talkative personality made him a memorable villain for me as a child, and I’ve loved him for it ever since. 😆😂

Ursula - Much like Hades, Ursula is sleazy, scheming, and cunning, yet wisecracking and comical at the same time. Besides her dry sense of humor, Ursula’s eccentricity, flamboyance, and elegance have always been the traits that drew me to her, and Pat Carrolll’s performance of the character is pure excellence. 😉

Maleficent - Despite being an incarnation of pure evil, including with her self-proclaimed title as The Mistress of All Evil, to me, Maleficent is by far the coolest, most badass Disney animated villain of all! 😆👍🏻 Yes, she curses Aurora with no true motive whatsoever, and she’s sadistic, ruthless, blasphemous, and murderous, but her display of her ill temper and dark magic just makes her totally awesome, most especially when she zaps her minions for their stupidity and incompetence upon learning they were only looking for a baby during their 16-year search for Aurora. 😁

Ratigan - Again, Disney has an evil, murderous, sadistic villain in Ratigan, but I love him because he is very collected, calculating, sophisticated, and charismatic, not to mention Vincent Price delivers such a great vocal performance as the character. 😉 What I also love about Ratigan is the moment when he undergoes what is known as a villainous breakdown, which is when a villain snaps and goes utterly crazy. During the film, Ratigan has some moments of losing his cool, but just as quickly manages to become calm and regain his composure. However, upon seeing Basil and Olivia escape from him inside Big Ben, along with Basil having having foiled his earlier scheme to kill the queen and take over England, Ratigan finally snaps, turning from a formal, sophisticated, composed rat to a highly feral, aggressive, savage one. It is the moment when Ratigan reveals the monster within and looks like a true rat, with an aggressive expression, hunched back, elongated claws, and running on all fours. The fact that Ratigan’s breakdown juxtaposes what kind of rat he was for the majority of the film is why his villainous breakdown is my favorite of any Disney villain.

Most Hated

Gaston - I have stated this before in “Bride and Prejudice”, but I pick Gaston as my #1 choice as my least favorite Disney animated villain. And it’s not just because of his extreme vanity, egotism, chauvinism, and arrogance, which are the very traits I hate in people, but because of his inferior, sexist, misogynistic views of women. Gaston is THE walking definition of toxic masculinity, the fictional example of the worst kind of man, the epitome of what men should NEVER be! 😡😡😡 He thinks men are the superior gender and that women are inferior to men, with their only purposes being to serve men and be their sex objects. And since I am a feminist who believes in gender equality, I dislike men who have low, sexist opinions of women, and Gaston fits the profile of what I think is the worst example of such a man. I could go on and on explaining just why I loathe this monster of a man with all my heart, but you can just read the aforementioned analysis to find out more.

Lady Tremaine - If it weren’t for Gaston being my #1 pick because of his extreme sexism and misogyny, I would pick Lady Tremaine. She comes such a close second because her motivations for abusing, oppressing, and being so cruel to Cinderella are petty and stupid, ESPECIALLY because Cinderella never even did anything to deserve such treatment from her in the first place! 😠😡 Lady Tremaine hates Cinderella and is very jealous of her purely because Cinderella so much better-looking and kinder than her own daughters and herself. So they abuse her and make her their servant to make her miserable and unattractive so that they can look better than her instead. Additionally, Lady Tremaine has a deep-rooted obsession to be above Cinderella at all costs that she resorts to lying, manipulation, trickery, and cheating in order to stay above. I particularly loathe it when she manipulates her daughters into tearing up Cinderella’s dress just so that she can appear fair and keep her word regarding her side of the bargain (she says ”if you can find something suitable to wear”, and once it’s wrecked, it’s no longer suitable) while simultaneously making sure she doesn’t have to keep her promise since she never wants Cinderella to go in the first place. All that being said, do these sound like justifiable excuses for hating a completely innocent woman? I DON’T THINK SO!!! 😡😡😡

Claude Frollo - Now if weren’t for BOTH Gaston and Lady Tremaine coming first, Claude Frollo would come on top as well! 😡😡😡 Frollo is without a doubt in my mind the most evil villain in the Disney animated canon. Unlike most Disney villains, he is COMPLETELY devoid of any likable or redeemable traits, making me have nothing but feelings of pure hatred for him. Ruthless, cruel, blasphemous, racist, and evil to his core, Frollo holds a deep-seated hatred for the gypsies and seeks to eradicate them from Paris, making him not only murderous, but genocidal, especially since he seeks to kill them simply out of his own racism, supremacy, and superiority. Throughout the years in his quest to eliminate the gypsies, Frollo murders Quasimodo’s mother by violently kicking her, causing her to fall and hit her head on the stone steps of Notre Dame, then tries to burn Esmeralda at the stake, declaring that she must be killed because she has been practicing witchcraft. After killing the mother, Frollo even attempts to drown baby Quasimodo simply because of his deformity. What makes Frollo even more evil besides doing his deeds is that he is a judge with control over the city, yet he proves himself to be corrupt and hypocritical by violating the laws to accomplish his dark, sinister deeds. Perhaps what makes Frollo the most evil villain of all is that he is in complete denial about how evil he really is. He has a delusional belief that he is a good, religious man doing God’s work by trying to purge the world of evil, when all he really does is twist his “faith” and hypocritically use it for his own evil purposes. What’s worse is that Frollo never once takes an ounce of responsibility for his crimes; he makes excuses to justify his actions, painting himself as guiltless and his victims as the only ones at fault. So with Frollo being such a blasphemous, hypocritical, racist, genocidal, murderous, corrupt judge who never believes he is doing anything wrong and always lays blame on the victims of his misdeeds, I can’t say there is a single thing about him that I like, and I’m happy he met his death in a fiery blaze! 😡🔥

Mother Gothel - A character I see as being an amalgam of Gaston, Lady Tremaine, and Frollo, the reasons why I hate all three of these villains are also found in Gothel: vanity, narcissism, oppression, mental abuse, trickery, manipulation, dishonesty, hypocrisy, and flat-out cruelty. First of all, Gothel’s vanity, narcissism, and obsession with her own beauty makes her extremely insufferable and annoying, not to mention the fact that she hoarded the flower to herself for hundreds of years just to stay alive shows how incredibly selfish and possessive she is. And due to her selfishness, she kidnaps Rapunzel, hides her in a tower, lies to her about the outside world, and continually mentally abuses, manipulates, oppresses, mocks, and belittles her just to ensure that Rapunzel will never leave the tower and the flower’s magic in her hair will keep her (Gothel) alive and young forever. On par with her narcissism, Gothel is shown to be a very spoiled, childish, immature woman who seeks to always have things her way and throws tantrums or other emotional outbursts when she doesn’t get her way or what she wants, especially the very moment she wants it. Furthermore, Gothel possesses a martyr, or victim, complex, which is shown perfectly when victimizes herself and places all the blame on Rapunzel whenever any sort of conflict befalls their lives and relationship, especially when they argue. So with all these flaws in mind, like Gaston, Lady Tremaine, and Frollo, I can’t find any good reason to like Gothel at all. “Mother Knows Best”? More like “Gothel Knows Worst”! 😠😡

Governor Ratcliffe - I said above that I hate Gaston because of his bigoted, low views of women, and prejudice is the main reason why I hate Governor Ratcliffe. However, his prejudice is in the form of racism, the kind of bigotry that I hate the most. Ratcliffe displays this attitude towards the Native Americans, considering them savages and seeing himself as better than them all because of his race, which makes him a white supremacist. Besides his supremacy and superiority regarding his race, Ratcliffe is intensely greedy and selfish since he wants to keep any riches found for himself and believes that the Virginia land and anything he finds on it is his for the taking. In relation to his bigotry, he is also quite delusional and self-righteous, which makes him believe that any theory he has is right and he refuses to believe otherwise or listen to reason. For example, Ratcliffe dismisses Wiggins’ correct assumptions on why the Indians attacked the settlers and John’s claim that there is no gold in the lands after Pocahontas tells him this. The hatred I hold for Ratcliffe is significantly less than the other four listed here, but the reasons I gave are virtually like those I gave for Frollo, so I’m confident with Ratcliffe and his place on my list.

Bonus Mentions

Hans - Hans is a villain that I place in the middle between my most loved and most hated villains, because I love him for WHAT he is as a villain while I simultaneously hate him for WHO he is as a character. I have said it to friends and some of my other analyses before, but one of the reasons why I love Frozen is because it took many of the traditional fairy tale elements and tropes used in their preceding films, and turned them upside down. So rather than having another prince as the heroic male lead in this film, Frozen twisted that trope around by making him the villain instead. And when Hans finally reveals his true nature, you realize that he has fooled not only Anna and the other characters who interacted with him, but first-time viewers as well! So while I love Hans for being a villain who keeps his true nature under wraps for the majority of the film and almost gets away with his crimes because of it, I also hate him because of how cold, cruel, callous, ruthless, and sadistic he really is. When he reveals his true nature and explains his plan to Anna, he mocks her intelligence, naïveté, and desperation for love while explaining just how easy it was for him to deceive and manipulate her into being a pawn in his plan to take over Arendelle. Throughout the whole scene, Hans smiles wickedly and sadistically, clearly showing the delight he is getting from tormenting Anna and watching her suffer while he explains his scheme and extinguishes all light sources to accelerate her death. It’s also easy to see his sadism when he announces his plan to murder Elsa, and that he will get even greater joy out of carrying out the act itself (which we see when Hans smiles widely while swinging his sword over Elsa’s head as he tries to kill her on the fjord).

Chi-Fu - While he is not a true villain, and not even evil at all, Chi-Fu is a very detestable character, one whose guts I hate completely because he has the same traits that make me hate Gaston: arrogance, conceit, egotism, bigotry, superiority, and misogyny. Prejudice against women is a main theme in Mulan, and Chi-Fu is the one man whose prejudiced opinions never change. While Shang and Mulan’s fellow soldiers initially hold views that women are beneath men, they learn to change them after Mulan proves herself a capable warrior in the army (even after her disguise is revealed), most especially when she helps save China from Shan Yu’s reign of terror. Despite the majority of his bigotry being aimed at women, Chi-Fu is also detestable because he shows it towards nearly everyone else, except the Emperor. As the second-in-command to the Emperor, Chi-Fu sees himself superior to almost everyone else around him, which enhances his pompous, elitist, arrogant attitude. Because of all these antagonistic traits, I loathe Chi-Fu while I don’t hate Shan Yu at all, even though the latter is truly pure evil and genocidal! 😠😡 It just goes to show that some people who are neither necessarily good nor bad can be even more contemptible that the most malevolent, murderous people.

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revchainsaw · 4 years ago

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Stargate (1994)

Welcome to the Cult Film Tent Revival my freaky fanatics, prepare yourselves to take the sacrament from across the stars, as we engage in the miraculous works of one of our most beloved Cult Saints, Saint Kurt. Coming to us from the golden age of Sci-fi Adventures, when Hollywood would dump the big bucks into a film so out of this world, we are partaking this evening of 1994's Stargate!

The Message

Every child has an Egypt phase. I remember fondly flipping through my DK Eyewitness guide to ancient Egypt with my Anubis warrior action figure from the movie stargate propped up on my desk. This wasn't even school work, Egypt inspired this young freak to learn outside of the classroom, and Stargate inspired me to look to Egypt in the first place. My father was a military man, as mentioned before, and this film irked him to some degree. He hated that the film was slightly critical of firearms, but mostly he hated that it depicted the high security military installation where he worked unrealistically. You know the high security military installation in the side of Cheyenne Mountain. yeah, that one. I don't know why my father expected a bunch of nerds from Hollywood with not security clearance to have any idea what it looked like in that hyper-secure location, but he did. I suspect after they lost him on the guns he was looking for any reason to hate Stargate, and so, impressionable as I was, I thought for years that this movie was really stupid.

Thank the Gods of Cult that I had the inspiration to give this film a second chance. I have to say, it's a little stupid, but it's not REALLY stupid. Also, Disney's Atlantis is totally just animated Stargate, and that's pretty fucked up.

Stargate is the story of how a big old nerd, whos name is NOT Milo, played by James Spader was enlisted by a bunch of military bad guy types to use his crackpot pseudoscience egyptology crap to decipher a bunch of writings that every other scientist or academic was wrong about. When he does this he succesfully creates a Stargate, a bridge between our world and another.

Our other hero is Sergeant Kurt Russell. Russell is sitting around trying to take two and not call his doctor in the morning, just generally being sad about guns because his son accidentally shot himself. Like father like son I guess. Sorry if that sounds cruel, it's just so desperately reaching for pathos and drama that it kind of enters into the realm of parody parody. I may have been raised by gun nuts, but I am very pro depicting guns as dangerous. Stargate is about as subtle as a pie in the face, or a bullet in the face. Ok, I'm done. Anyway, the military has one more mission for Kurt and he decides for some reason that means that guns are good again for killing bad guys, except for later when he decides that guns are bad again.

So Disney's Atlantis and Guile from Street Fighter enter the Stargate and discover a world where illiterate humans are kept in subjugation by a ruling class of aliens who use them to mine precious minerals and demand to be worshipped as Gods. The leader of these aliens is an immortal alien being who has possessed the body of a teen boy pop sensation and goes by the name of Ra.

James Spader is gifted a wife by the locals because it's so quirky that women are property, i guess, but it's okay because they happen to be in love, and with her help he is able to learn the truth behind this worlds condition. Ra had built the Stargate to travel between worlds and was worshipped in Ancient Egypt, however the people got wise to his BS and he had to escape. He took many humans hostage and crossed the stargate and then banned reading and writing as an attempt to quell any kind of uprising, and it's worked for a long time.

Ra is pissed at the earth boys though because he knows a nuclear weapon when he sees one. Turns out Kurt Russell brought a big ol bomb with him across the stargate as a contingency plan for any aggro aliens they may have found. Hey, they found them so I guess it wasn't too bad of an idea. Ra punishes his worshippers by having them mercilessly bombed and Spader and Russell team up with the locals to revolt. They eventually gain the upper hand and Ra attempts to flee with his Pyramid space ship but our heroes teleport the nuke onto his ship and save the day. Thus launching several Sci-Fi television series that I have never watched.

The Benediction

Best Scene: Ra Footage

The Throne Room Scene where we are first introduced to Ra and his godlike warriors is pretty excellent. It's so menacing how he surrounds himself with a force field of children, and the combination of futuristic technology with an ancient Egyptian aesthetic that this film sells itself on is on it's ultimate display in this scene. I really like the villains in this movie and I savor whenever they get to be shown off.

Best effect: Mastadge Ride

The CG on Stargate is better than in Species which sought to be it's competitor a year later, but it is still dated. It's utilized in cool enough ways and sparingly enough that even though it looks cartoony at moments it is very easy to forgive. Being Easy to forgive however, would be a pretty lackluster qualification for best effect and I'm going to have to turn this honor to the practical creature effects for the Mastadge. When we are first introduced to our alien world one the first things we see is the fuzzy maw of one of these creatures, before it takes James Spader for a very harrowing trip across the desert. These alien beasts of burden do sometimes reveal that they are mounted upon horses, but in close ups they just look so good. I love them and I want one.

Worst Scene: It's just sad OK!

Kurt Russell becomes very popular with the young men from the village of Ra's worshippers. They come to see him as some kind of hero and seek to emulate him. However, these people are very peaceful and not in any way battle hardened. A group of the young men stand up to the leaders and seek to aid the Earthlings in their revolution. They are brave but in many ways out classed by Ra's elite guards. Through the sheer force of numbers they do succeed in casting off the shackles of their oppressors but not before one of the young men we've come to care about is tragically blasted all to shit in slow mo. That scene made me cry a ton when I was a kid, and I dreaded waiting for it as an adult. It is worth noting that if you aren't 5 years old a lot of the drama in Stargate is pretty hamfisted and corny. It's a pretty excellent action movie, and a pretty goofy drama.

Coolest looking Villain: Animals as Leaders

I used to think that Ra was really stupid looking, but I was a kid and was biased towards cool warriors with animal heads, but I really have a much better appreciation for the effects and costume design of all of the godly villain crew than I used to. That said, The Anubis guy in particular still holds up. It's the dope Jackal head, the teal of the armor. It's what I picture when I picture Stargate. The Horus guys are also worth a mention with their awesome hawk jets. I couldn't pick a "Best" villain, so I went with the Coolest Looking.

Worst Aspect: Lacking Character

When I have fond thoughts of Stargate, they almost never revolve around the characters, or if they do it's in a juvenile manner. Who had cool armor, who had cool weapons, or who did the coolest thing? I have a hard time caring about these meandering people. They are inconsistent. They have no flaws that they work on or grow from. They are special because the script insists that it's so, and I don't really care if they succeed or fail at any point in the film. It's a shame because we have a good set up, and good lore. If at any point any body acted like a real person I think Stargate would be better remembered as a film than as the weird older sibling of a long running television series.

Summary

I'd like to say that Stargate succeeds at everything it's trying to do, but it doesn't. Stargate fails in the tragedy and pathos it attempts to create within it's characters; but it does succeed in almost every other way. Stargate is an engaging and exciting action movie. Stargate delivers on it's science fiction concept, and provides some fun fantasy lore to round out it's world building. Stargate is also a great looking (at most times) special effects spectacle. For all of those reasons, It is not a great film, but it is pretty darn good film.

Overall Grade: B

#Stargate #Sci-Fi #1994 #90s #Action #Adventure #aliens #egypt #space #Kurt Russell #James Spader #Grade B #B #Grade: B #(B)

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sambergscott · 5 years ago

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i've been down here before and i know the way out

Summary: Leo Peralta is named after all the greats - the Ninja Turtle, da Vinci, DiCaprio and McGarry.

(someone asked me to write about the name leo for jake and amy’s baby paying homage to leo mcgarry from the west wing and since i've officially joined Team Leo, i figured i'd do this)

(the title has nothing to do with the fic, it’s just my favourite leo/josh quote and i *had* to use it)

It’s a weird feeling, leaving his son for the first time. Sure, he’s only going down the hall to get some much-needed coffee and snacks and he’s in Amy’s more-than-capable hands, but he already feels like he’s missing out on so much. What if he opens his eyes? What if he latches for the first time? What if he says his first word? No, that would be crazy. 5 hour old babies can’t talk, not even when they inherit super smart Santiago genes.

The point is: Leo is the coolest person he’s ever met, named after Leonardo from the Ninja Turtles (or if you ask Amy, some painter from the olden days), and leaving him, even if only for a few minutes, sucks.

He didn’t understand how any of the other Peralta dads could walk out on their sons before and he certainly doesn’t understand it now.

He could never abandon Leo.

Speaking of Peralta dads who abandoned their sons, he instantly recognizes the white hair and crumpled pilot uniform of the man at the coffee machine as his own father and braces himself for the least fun conversation of the day (even worse than a laboring Amy threatening to kill him if he tells her how to breathe one more time).

“Hey, grandpa,” he says, patting Roger on the back.

“Jakey!” He exclaims. “Congratulations, son.”

He’s received a lot of congratulations in the last few hours. From his mom, Amy’s parents, Amy’s brothers, the Nine-Nine, their extended families. Every time he picks up his phone to take a picture of the baby or Amy and the baby or a selfie of all three of them, there’s another 5 comments on his Instagram post about their new recruit. It’s all kind of overwhelming and he hasn’t got back to everyone yet (he knows Amy will want to send handwritten thank you cards anyway), but he has read the comments out loud to Amy and told Leo how loved he already is.

(It’s something Jake didn’t really know as a kid and he vows to raise his son differently, to tell him everyday that his mom and dad love him so much).

Captain Holt’s congratulations in particular brought tears to Jake, Amy and Leo’s eyes. To be fair, Leo was crying because he needed a diaper change, but still. It’s like he knew.

Ray Holt (Received 22:07):

Dear Amy, Jake and Leo (who Gina informs me is named after the ‘smokeshow’ actor Leonardo DiCaprio? According to the Internet Movie Database, he was in something called The Wolf of Wall Street and Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, although I have only seen the stage productions of the latter so cannot comment on his suitability as a name sake for your child),

Kevin, Cheddar and I would like to offer our congratulations on the birth of your first son. As newborns go, yours is very cute. We hope the labor went smoothly and that you are all enjoying this precious time as a family.

We understand it is customary to buy a stuffed animal for a newborn baby and since we could not agree on a lion (as his name is Leo) or a Corgi (as we have a Corgi called Cheddar), we decided to buy both. We hope you will have sufficient room to store both in your apartment. If not, we have kept the receipts on our person and will return your least favourite to the store.

We look forward to meeting the newest member of our Nine-Nine family and giving him his gifts. Please provide us with an appropriate time slot for visitation.

I am very proud of you both. I know you will make excellent parents.

Sincerely,

Raymond Holt, Kevin Cozner PhD and Cheddar the Dog.

His dad’s two word congratulations pales in comparison to his Work Dad’s, but maybe that’s OK. They just have different styles. The more people who love Leo, the better, as far as Jake’s concerned.

He inserts his money into the vending machine and punches in the code for Sour Candies, then repeats the process for chocolate for Amy, while Roger makes them two coffees - strong. Parenthood is already exhausting; caffeine and sugar are the only thing stopping him from straight up passing out on the hospital floor and sleeping for an entire day. Well, that and the fact that he just had a baby who screams bloody murder when he’s not in his mom or dad’s arms.

“I’m going to need help carrying all this back to the room,” Jake says nonchalantly. “Want to come visit him?”

“Absolutely I do.”

“OK.” Nerves bubble inside of him as they get closer to Room 458 and he stops Roger just outside the door. “You have to promise me that if you go in there, you will be part of his life forever.” His eyes are dark, protective. He’s never been more serious about anything. “I will not let you treat him the way you treated me. He’s too good for that. If you’re in, you have to be all in. Are you all in?”

“I am,” he promises. “I know you’d probably find a way to throw me in jail if I let him down. And I won’t. I know I’ve been a selfish jerk but I really have changed - I want to be a good husband to your mom, a good father to you and your sisters and a good grandpa to your son.”

“His name is Leo,” Jake reveals, opening the door and smiling at the sight of Amy holding him. The tight feeling in his chest dissipates, replaced by a familiar warmth. He strides forward and kisses Amy, then Leo. “How were my two favourite people when I was gone? Missing me loads?”

“Of course,” she says without hesitation. “But other than that he just slept.”

“It’s tough being a baby, huh?” He whispers, stroking his son’s dark head of hair. “Maybe you can open your eyes for daddy now though?”

Nope. Nothing.

Damn it. He opened his eyes for Amy while he was in the bathroom earlier, which is totally not fair. She’s already turned him into a mommy’s boy before he had a chance.

(Not that he blames him. Leo does have a very awesome mom. The awesom-est).

“We brought you coffee,” Roger announces, stepping forward. “And congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Amy responds, gratefully accepting the to-go cup and taking a sip, despite it still being too hot. Not drinking coffee for 9 months was worse than all the worse bits of pregnancy combined. She complained about it constantly, but he’s pretty sure it was worth it all now.

“You look beautiful,” Roger says. “Considering you just had a baby.”

“Oh.” She grimaces at the back-handed, misogynistic comment and Jake hands his dad the precious cargo before he can dig himself an even deeper hole.

He hovers next to him, his super sharp detective instincts ready to catch Leo if anything happens.

Surprisingly - or maybe unsurprisingly, considering how he has at least 4 kids that Jake knows of (and maybe more that Roger himself doesn’t even know about, since he’s slept with so many women) - he holds Leo perfectly, supports his head, bounces him gently when he starts to shift like he knows he’s no longer with mom.

Jake takes a picture before he starts full on crying and then Amy takes a picture of 3 generations of Peralta men that, when framed, will make a perfect Christmas present for Karen.

“Leo’s a great name, by the way. I once knew a Leo. Leo McGarry. One of my teachers at flight school.” He pauses and Jake thinks he might start crying before the baby. “Great pilot, even better man. He was strict, but he believed in me, even when I screwed up my landings over and over. He had a heart attack and died a month before I graduated.”

“I’m sorry, dad,” he murmurs. He sounds like his version of Captain Holt and Jake would be similarly devastated if anything happened to him. Although losing his flight school mentor does explain a lot about why his landings are still bumpy as hell.

Roger smiles to himself. “He could’ve flown Air Force 1 if he wanted, the offer was there. But for some reason he decided to stick around and help idiots like me. He was the best of the best. Your Leo seems pretty great, too. You did good, kid. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.” He exchanges a meaningful look with Amy. “We did good.”

“Peralta and Santiago. Always been a great team,” she grins.

As if hearing their names reminds him that he’s not being held by a) mom or b) dad, Leo wakes up and suddenly screams for them.

“Here, dad, I’ll take him.”

Roger transfers him back to Jake and like some kind of magic spell from Harry Potter has been cast, he calms back down, content in Jake’s arms.

“So dramatic,” Amy teases, taking another sip of coffee. “Maybe we should’ve named him after DiCaprio.”

#b99 fics #jake x amy #my writing #let me know what you think!!!

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lady-hammerlock · 5 years ago

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Of Masks and Concealer (Watch Dogs - Marcus x Wrench)

Summary: Marcus has a perfectly normal male name on his face, hidden beneath a liberal coat of concealer. Is it Wrench's name? He hopes it's Wrench's name. A Wrencus soulmate AU with a liberal dose of angst and fluff.

AN: What is this? Another Watch Dogs fic from me? In truth I discovered this in my writing folder a little while back. I had completely forgotten that I had written it, but it was mostly finished, so I figured it should go out into the world. I hope you all enjoy. :)

As usual, the full story is under the cut. The only real warnings for this one are for mild violence/injuries and Wrench having really big self-esteem issues.

A MASK AND CONCEALER

Marcus Holloway had a rather unique soulbrand. The name itself wasn’t all that strange; just a perfectly ordinary male name. Any confusion that might have caused in him disappeared when he started to hit puberty, and realised that he found plenty of men just as attractive as women.

No, it was the position of the soulbrand that was weird. Plenty of people had them on their arms or legs, and he had heard of soulbrands being on people’s backs a few times. He even had a cousin whose soulbrand was on the sole of her foot. Marcus’s soulbrand however was right below his eye on his right cheek.

As a kid it hadn’t really mattered. For the first couple of years of school he had gone around with it uncovered. The writing was small enough that half the kids couldn’t even read the name of Marcus’s soulmate without getting real close to him.

Marcus soon realised that most other people kept their soulbrands covered up however; both the kids at school and the adults he knew, or at least the adults that hadn’t already met their soulmates and settled down with them. The kids at school hadn’t started to pick on Marcus for his weird soulbrand, but he definitely didn’t want them to start.

Covering up most soulbrands was easy enough. If clothing didn’t naturally cover it up then surely a pair of gloves or a scarf or whatever would do the job.

Marcus’s required a little more creativity. For a while there he went to school with a brightly coloured Band-Aid under his eye, which drew more attention that the soulbrand itself had done. When he grew a little older his Mom started to cover it with concealer. As Marcus grew older he learned how to apply the concealer himself. He’d still wear some sort of Band-Aid when going swimming or whenever the concealer was likely to rub off, but on most days he carried a little container of concealer around in his bag.

By the time he joined Dedsec he was a fucking pro at applying the stuff, which was good, because if there was ever a reason to conceal your soulmate’s identity from everyone and everything then going up against groups like the ones Dedsec regularly picked fights with was it. There was little doubt in Marcus’s mind that groups like !nvite or Blume could find some devious way to use the name of a person’s soulmate against them.

As for the soulmate himself, Marcus didn’t really give the guy much thought. Growing up there had been plenty of guys and girls in his class that had obsessed over finding their other halves. Marcus had met a couple of people who he had even thought for a moment might be the one, either based on name or the sight of a similar patch of concealer or adhesive medical strip on their face, and sure, he had been disappointed when it turned out that they weren’t the one (or in one case, really fucking relieved that they weren’t) but mostly Marcus figured that whoever his soulmate was, he would meet him when the time was right.

Wrench was, without a doubt, one of the coolest, most interesting people Marcus had ever met. They flirted and bonded and got excited over the same dumb shit, and bit by tiny bit, Marcus realised that he was falling in love.

He knew that it was stupid, but he couldn’t stop himself from hoping. After all, Wrench’s face was covered, so there was a tiny chance that somewhere beneath all of those spikes and leather the name ‘Marcus’ was branded on Wrench’s cheek, the twin to Marcus’s own soulbrand.

Marcus always ended up scoffing at himself whenever he caught himself daydreaming about such things though. Sure, Wrench might be awesome and perfect and the exact sort of person that Marcus would want to have as his soulmate, but that didn’t mean shit.

For the first time in his life he actually gave a shit about the identity of his soulmate, and it was mostly because he desperately, hopelessly wished that it was Wrench.

Everything seemed to be going pretty well at the moment, both for Dedsec and for Marcus. Swelter Skelter had brought them all back together and they were beating Prime_Eight into the ground. Marcus was on his way back to headquarters after taking down their most recent Prime_Eight target, on a motorbike that he had ‘liberated’ from its former Prime_Eight owner.

Everything seemed to be looking up. The sun was fucking shining, the radio was playing a rock song he really liked and Wrench, as Wrench was inclined to do while Marcus was on longer trips, had rung him up to talk.

“So Marcus,” Wrench said, and Marcus could just hear the cheeky grin in his voice. “FMK with Jabba the Hut, Emperor Palpatine when he’s old and pale and wrinkly, or Chewbacca.”

Marcus tried to stifle the laughter that bubbled up in his throat, which resulted in it coming out as a gross sort of giggle snort. The two of them had been playing ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’ for a few minutes, and while the people and characters they were playing with had started out attractive enough, they had slowly devolved until they were at this stage.

“You just wanna hear me say I’d fuck or marry Chewbacca,” Marcus replied, taking over a slow moving family van in front of him as he did.

“Aw, come on M,” Wrench whined. “He’d be a really considerate lover. Just think about it; those big strong arms holding you tight, and all that soft fur…”

Marcus chuckled. Stupid conversation like this did absolutely nothing to lessen his crush on Wrench. If anything, it was stupid geeky shit like this that had made him fall in love with Wrench so quickly.

“I thought you didn’t like animals,” Marcus shot back.

Wrench let out an exaggerated gasp of shock.

“Are you calling Chewbacca an animal?” Wrench asked. “Marcus, that’s dangerous talk man. Calling a perfectly civilised and, you absolutely have to concede, attractive gentleman like Chewbacca an animal… What are we going to do with you?”

Marcus chuckled again.

“Just please don’t rip my arms off,” he laughed, before actually giving the question some thought. “Well, straight up let’s kill Jabba.”

“Diego Luna would be heartbroken Marcus,” Wrench interrupted.

Marcus chuckled, and was just about to continue when suddenly a valve in the road in front of him exploded in a burst of scalding hot steam and a shower of asphalt. The car in front of Marcus was thrown to the side of the road. Marcus turned the motorbike as quickly as he could, and just managed to steer around the explosion in time.

He steadied himself, and then looked behind him. It was only then that he spotted the pair of Prime_Eight jerks that were following just behind him in a beat up old sports car.

“Oh shit,” Marcus cursed, kicking the stolen motorbike back into gear and hoping that he could outrun the Prime_Eight members.

“Marcus!” came Wrench’s voice from the other end of the line, immediately worried. “Hey Marcus. Buddy! You okay?”

“Shit!” Marcus said, turning a corner and just making it. “I’ve got a couple of Prime_Eight bastards on my tail. Probably ain’t too happy that I blew up their place.”

“You need help?” Wrench asked.

“Nah, I got this,” Marcus said. He had dealt with plenty of worse situations before. All that he needed was to mess up the idiots behind him and then…

He motored through the next set of traffic lights, hacking into them as he did, hoping to cause a little bit of trouble for the Prime_Eight members. He heard the tell-tale screech of tires and honking of horns behind him, and glanced back to find that his trick had worked just as well as he had hoped. The Prime_Eight van had slammed into another car. There was no way that they were going to be able to chase after him now.

He hadn’t been watching where he was going though, and when he turned his attention back to the road in front of him it was too late to avoid slamming into the side of the car that had pulled out in front of him.

He hit the side of the car and went flying, skidding several metres along the road.

“Marcus?” Wrench screamed over their phone call. “Marcus!”

The breath had been completely knocked out of him. He just lay there for a while, gasping and trying to get air back into his lungs. His arms and legs hurt. He didn’t think that he had broken anything, but his knees and arms stung where the road had torn through his clothing and some of the skin beneath.

“Shit,” he cursed when he had recovered enough to push himself up on his hands and knees.

The owner of the car he had run into had taken off, and everyone else seemed too concerned about the three car pile-up at the intersection to worry about one lone and mostly uninjured motorbike rider. Marcus could faintly hear the muffled and garbled sound of Wrench on the other side of their phone call and reached out to find his phone lying on the floor nearby.

As he picked it up he could hear the other man’s voice, frantically muttering, more to himself now than to Marcus.

“Don’t worry M,” Wrench said. “You’re not too far from headquarters. I’m going to get you. Everything’s going to okay. I’m coming to get you and you’re going to be okay and I’m going to make those stupid fucking Prime_Eight assholes pay for daring to lay a finger on you. You’re going to be all right Marcus. You have to be.”

“Wrench,” Marcus called out, his voice a little quieter and scratchier than he had anticipated.

“Marcus!” Wrench cried out.

“I’m okay man,” Marcus said. “Well, I am a little torn up, but I’ll be fine.”

“No way man,” Wrench replied. “I’ve got your location and I’m almost there now. I’ll see you in a bit, okay M?”

“All right,” Marcus replied.

He glanced back at the chaos he had caused at the intersection and began, despite the protesting of his legs, to walk away from the scene. The last thing he wanted was to still be around when people started asking questions about the crash.

Within minutes Wrench had arrived at the scene and the two of them had found a back alley in which they could tend to Marcus’s injuries in peace.

The scrapes on Marcus’s arms and legs weren’t nearly as bad as they felt; nothing worse than a few scratches really, but Wrench worried as though there might still be a chance of Marcus bleeding out, immediately fetching water and insisting on cleaning off the dirt and gravel himself.

“It’s really nothing,” Marcus insisted, tearing off part of his own long-sleeved shirt so that Wrench could use the fabric to help clean off the wounds and soak up the excess blood. “I mean, it stings a bit, but I’ll be fine Wrench.”

Rather than rolling his eyes Wrench pretty much rolled his whole head.

“Just let me fucking take care of you all right?” he snapped.

“Yes Mom,” Marcus replied. He joked, but inside his heart felt as though it was glowing. Seeing how much Wrench cared about him made him think just for a moment that perhaps his crush on Wrench wasn’t completely hopeless after all.

Perhaps it wouldn’t matter if they weren’t soulmates. Perhaps, if they loved one another then that would be enough. God, he wished that they were soulmates. He wished it with all of his heart. He had never loved anyone like he loved Wrench. The other man’s touch was so gentle as he dabbed the wet cloth on Marcus’s arm; far gentler than a man who covered himself in spikes and took great delight in burning things to the ground had any right to be.

“Hey Marcus,” Wrench said, breaking Marcus’s reverie by reaching out to touch the hacker’s face with his thumb. “You got a little er…”

The other man’s mask changed from question marks to wide, round flashing eyes as his thumb brushed against the spot right beneath Marcus’s right eye; the spot where the name of Marcus’s soulmate sat, usually hidden away from the world.

“Oh shit,” Marcus cursed as Wrench withdrew his thumb. “I guess the make-up rubbed off during the crash.”

Marcus rubbed at his own cheek to discover that the makeup had smeared all down his face.

“Damn it,” Marcus cursed, already reaching into his bag to fetch the container of concealer that was tucked away in there along with everything else.

Marcus was a little annoyed, not entirely because Wrench had seen the name of Marcus’s soulmate. He trusted Wrench, knew that the other guy wouldn’t blab to anyone else and definitely wouldn’t have a problem with the fact that Marcus’s soulmate was a guy.

No, he was annoyed because this would, one way or another, put an end to his dream of Wrench actually being his soulmate. While neither of them said anything Marcus could always pretend that there was some chance of his dream coming true, but now that the name of Marcus’s soulmate was right there, out in the open, Wrench would undoubtedly, in one way or another, confirm that the name on Marcus’s cheek wasn’t his, and then Marcus would be forced to face the horrible, empty realisation that no matter who his soulmate was, there was no way that they could possibly measure up to Wrench.

Damn it. Everything about this sucked. Suddenly the scratches on his arms and legs felt worse, and all he wanted to do was get back to headquarters and have a stiff drink or two.

Marcus was therefore understandably surprised when Wrench let out a garbled sound that could only be described as a squeal and stepped back from Marcus and the newly revealed name on his cheek as though stung.

“That’s… er…” the masked man muttered before finally seeming to recover from his initial shock. “Am I looking at your soulbrand Marcus?”

“What else would it be?” Marcus asked.

“Yeah,” Wrench said. “Of course M. Cool.”

His mask and words were trying to convince Marcus that everything was cool, but his voice and body language was giving him away. Something was up. Perhaps Wrench just wasn’t comfortable with knowing the name of Marcus’s soulmate. It was a pretty private thing.

Or maybe Wrench is jealous, that part of Marcus that was growing increasingly difficult to ignore began to suggest. Or maybe, just maybe, he recognised his own name?

Marcus ignored those thoughts, knowing that it was infinitely more likely that the sight of Marcus’s soulbrand had just made Wrench uncomfortable, and turned his back to Wrench as he started to apply a liberal coat of concealer onto his cheek.

He waited for Wrench to say something; anything. Maybe, if he was extremely lucky then Wrench would make his dreams come true and claim Marcus as his soulmate. If not, and this seemed infinitely more likely, he could at least allow Marcus to stop hoping. Either way, he wished that Wrench would say something.

Instead the other man was still and silent, giving away absolutely nothing except a vague impression of discomfort.

Marcus sighed, twisted the lid back on the concealer and shoved it into his bag, before turning back to Wrench.

“Hey man,” he said, causing Wrench’s eyes to light up in a pair of exclamation marks, probably more of a reaction than those two simple words warranted. “Did I cover the whole thing? I mean, I’m pretty good at covering it up by now, but I don’t exactly have a mirror on me.”

“Huh?” Wrench said, as though Marcus had pulled him out of a daydream. “Yeah, er… Yeah, that’s it. You’ve covered the whole thing. Looks fine to me.”

Wrench’s eyes smiled, but it didn’t reach his voice.

Wrench was strangely quiet for a few days following that. He seemed awkward when he interacted with Marcus as well. Marcus wondered whether he should just confront the other man and ask Wrench what was bothering him.

Meanwhile, Marcus’s own mind seemed intent on annoying him. When his thoughts weren’t depressing ones about how this probably meant it was impossible for Wrench to be his soulmate they were annoying in their hopefulness. He had thought that he had put such stupidity aside after the crash, but apparently not.

What if Wrench was upset because he had seen another man’s name on Marcus’s face and was jealous? What if he had seen his own name on Marcus’s face and just didn’t know how to tell Marcus that they were soulmates?

Yeah right. If he had recognised his own name then it was more likely that he didn’t want Marcus as a soulmate at all and was still trying to work out how to tell Marcus that.

Whatever was going on it was annoying. Marcus just wanted his friend back.

So he was grateful when, after a week or so of weirdness, they got back to normal. They continued to laugh and touch and flirt as though nothing had happened.

Marcus continued to pine and to wonder, but at least he had Wrench at his side once more.

The FBI had Wrench. The fucking FBI had Wrench and Marcus had no idea what they were planning to do to him. No matter how much he cursed and screamed the panic wouldn’t subside.

Even when he was sitting there, watching the FBI interview Wrench through his phone camera he couldn’t think of anything except how to get Wrench out of there, and what he was going to do to the assholes that had taken him.

It was the first time that Marcus had seen the other man’s face, and he couldn’t help but notice how sad his eyes looked. It didn’t matter what he looked like though. He was Wrench, the man Marcus was in love with, and right at that moment the FBI were interrogating him and trying to turn him against Marcus and Dedsec and Marcus wanted to reach through the camera and fucking strangle them.

“Hey, what’s that beneath his eye?”

Sitara was the one to ask it. Marcus had noticed the dark smudge of course, just like he had noticed the red patch above his left eye.

“Have they been hurting him?” Josh asked.

But that wasn’t a bruise. Now that Marcus was looking at it he had a feeling he knew exactly what it was.

His stomach had been turning itself in knots already. There was almost no room in him for the shock of Wrench potentially being his soulmate after all.

“I think it’s a soulbrand,” he told the other two. “Don’t try to make it out, all right? We’ve invaded his privacy enough as it is by getting a look at his face.”

And then fucking Dusan had walked into the room, all sunshine and smiles and promises.

“What’s this?” he asked Wrench, kneeling in front of him and actually putting his hand on Wrench’s shoulder.

Wrench shrugged the other man’s touch off immediately.

“I should have known,” Dusan said as he straightened himself to his full height once more. “That explains a lot, right?”

Wrench was silent, his face turned away from Dusan. He refused to look at the other man no matter how much Dusan got in his face, or at the cameras stationed around the room.

“Does Marcus know?” Dusan asked Wrench.

“Do you know what?” Sitara asked. Marcus didn’t answer. He was too absorbed in what was happening in the interrogation room.

“He doesn’t, does he?” Dusan asked, leaning in so that Wrench was forced to look at him again. “You haven’t told him because you know it won’t matter to him. He doesn’t give a shit about you.”

Marcus wanted to reach through the cameras, tear Dusan away from Wrench and promise his fellow hacker that the other man wouldn’t go anywhere near him ever again. He was powerless to do anything though except sit there and watch.

“You know I’m right,” Dusan said to Wrench.

And then the man told Wrench that he was free to go; that he should run off and tell the rest of Dedsec, minus Marcus of course, that any of them could accept Dusan’s deal and turn on the rest of them at any time that they wished.

Surprisingly he seemed to actually let Wrench go as well, but not without first taking his mask.

Marcus wasn’t worried about any of his friends turning on them, not even for a moment. All he was worried about was Wrench, and getting the other man’s mask back and making sure that he was okay. There was barely any room left for him to worry about the soulbrand they had all seen on Wrench’s cheek.

It had taken a little bit of tech, a few explosions and a lot of luck, but Marcus had gotten Wrench’s mask back. It was only when he was on his way to return the mask that he started to think of the soulbrand they had all spotted on Wrench’s cheek.

It was probably Marcus’s name. Marcus realised that now. As he walked up the stairs to the meeting place he had organised with Wrench, mask clasped between his hands, he felt his heart pounding harder and faster in his chest.

Marcus knew that he was, once and for all, about to find out whether Wrench was his soulmate. There would be no maybe this time, no stupid hopes or stupider excuses.

By the time he spotted Wrench and moved to sit beside him Marcus was a nervous wreck. He thought he was doing a pretty good job of keeping it together though, all things considered.

“Hey,” Marcus gently greeted his friend, holding the mask out for Wrench to take back.

Wrench turned his head just a little, so that Marcus could see at least some of his face. Marcus took in the scruffy blonde hair, long nose and blue eyes as pale as ice, but what caught his eye more than anything else was the black letters that sat on Wrench’s right cheek, now right there where he could read them.

‘Marcus’

Wrench was staring at him, looking as though he was only two seconds away from bursting into tears. Marcus was so used to the mask, to Wrench’s usual energy and ridiculous humour. Seeing him so withdrawn and broken was breaking Marcus’s heart. He needed to say something to the other man, but Marcus had absolutely no idea what it was that he should say.

“We’re soulmates,” he ended up saying without ever planning for the words to leave his lips. “Huh.”

Wrench’s eyes were darting around the roof nervously, first looking at Marcus and then the plants around them or the pool a few metres away. He was clearly restless.

“I mean we are, right?” Marcus asked. “That name on my cheek; that’s your real… well, the name you were born with, right?”

Wrench nodded slowly a couple of times, not meeting Marcus’s eyes as he did, his eyes instead fixed on the mask that he clutched tightly in his own hands.

“Holy shit,” Marcus said, and then, as his own thoughts caught up with him. “Holy shit. I know your real name. Not that I’m gonna tell anybody. Holy shit no. I would never tell anybody if you don’t want me to. Holy shit Wrench. You’re… We’re…”

Wrench just sighed loudly, put his mask back on and then got to his feet.

“Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private?” Wrench suggested. “This conversation… I dunno. It could get messy.”

Marcus didn’t like the sound of that. Messy was not good. Messy made it sound as though at least one of them wasn’t going to be happy with how things turned out.

“Okay,” he said though, getting to his feet and then offering Wrench his hand. “That’s probably a good idea, yeah.”

–

They ended up back at Wrench’s garage. The drive back had been far tenser than Marcus had imagined it was going to be. Wrench was not just uncharacteristically quiet; he had failed to say anything at all since they had both gotten into Marcus’s car, and had remained silent until they were both safely back in the garage.

“So…” Marcus began, feeling more than a little awkward. Should he start with the FBI thing or the soulmates thing? In the end he settled on the most important thing; Wrench himself. “How you doing in there Wrench?”

“Better, now that I’ve got my mask back,” Wrench replied. “Thanks for that M.”

“No problem man,” Marcus replied, glancing over and sending a smile towards the other man. “What are friends for, right?”

Except they weren’t just friends now. They were soulmates, and that came with a whole new host of complications, right? Wrench’s eyes were sending a smiley emoji at him now though, so that was a good start.

“So er…” Marcus began, feeling rather awkward again. “We’re soulmates huh?”

Wrench had wondered if Marcus Holloway was his Marcus for about two whole seconds. The name was right, but as soon as he met the man he discovered there was no soulbrand under Marcus’s right eye to match his own. There was no point in wondering. He knew that. Marcus wasn’t his.

He couldn’t completely stop himself from hoping though. He liked Marcus. He really did. And even if Marcus didn’t have Wrench’s real name on his cheek that didn’t completely rule out the possibility, right? After all, Marcus could have had the soulbrand removed because of the whole hacking thing, or perhaps he was hiding it somehow. It was possible, right?

But no. Of course it wasn’t possible. The more Wrench came to know about Marcus Holloway, the more he understood that there was no way in hell that Marcus could be Wrench’s Marcus.

It all came down to one simple, undeniable truth; Marcus Holloway was far too fucking good for Wrench. He was not only completely fucking gorgeous, he was a really cool guy; intelligent and a brilliant hacker with a sense of humour and taste in everything that worked so well with Wrench’s own. He was just so fucking amazing that he made Wrench wish that he was better person. Perhaps then, if it wasn’t for the fucking mask and his real fucking face and his everything, he might actually be worthy of Marcus’s friendship, but he would never be worthy of Marcus’s heart. He knew that, and after a few too many vodka and Red Bulls and an hour or so of sending a few smaller electrical appliances to an early grave with the help of a sledgehammer, he even came to peace with the knowledge.

He still wanted to make Marcus proud, and he vowed to do everything he could to earn the other man’s trust and friendship, but he gave up all hope of it ever leading to anything romantic.

And then there had been that stupid fucking mission with the stupid fucking motorbike crash and Wrench had been worried that Marcus was seriously hurt and he wasn’t but then he had seen the name he had been born with on Marcus’s cheek and it felt as though the entire fucking world stopped.

Marcus was amazing. Marcus was the best person that Wrench knew. He did not deserve to be saddled with a train wreck like Wrench; Wrench, who wouldn’t even tell Marcus his real name or remove his mask so that Marcus could see his own name resting on Wrench’s cheek. He hadn’t been inclined to reveal his face to Marcus before learning the truth. He had even more of a reason to cover it up now.

He knew that Marcus was both kind and polite enough that he wouldn’t deliberately be a jerk about the whole soulmate thing. No, when he discovered that fate had been shitty enough to give him a fuck-up like Wrench for a soulmate he would smile and act like he wasn’t horribly fucking disappointed, but how could he be anything but horribly fucking disappointed. Wrench didn’t want to see that; didn’t want to see Marcus’s disappointment disguised as joy; didn’t want to be the one to let Marcus know that the universe had fucked up so badly.

And then there was the stupid fucking mission with the stupid fucking FBI. Wrench had practically been forced to reveal the truth to Marcus. Wrench didn’t know what he had been expecting from Marcus; disappointment probably. He wasn’t so far in denial that he wouldn’t admit that he had been hoping for more. In those beautiful moments during which he and Marcus just clicked and Marcus made Wrench so happy that he managed to forget how much he hated himself, he began to imagine what it might be like if Marcus did accept him. He fantasized about Marcus immediately grabbing Wrench and kissing him senseless, even though Wrench knew that the odds of that actually happening were small enough as to be non-existent. Marcus just standing there and staring at Wrench and the name on his cheek in shock? That seemed par for the course; much more understandable than any fantasies of kissing or confessions of love that Wrench had allowed himself to get lost in.

Which lead them to now; Marcus standing in front of him and saying that they were soulmates, as though it was just that simple.

“You knew that we were soulmates, right?” Marcus asked. “I mean, after that accident you had to know.”

Wrench nodded slowly. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Marcus’s face. The other man was upset, and had every right to be.

“I suspected that we were,” Wrench replied. “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me man?” Marcus asked.

Wrench took a deep breath, grabbed a couple of beers and tossed one to Marcus.

Then, very slowly and with nowhere near the amount of coherency he would have preferred, he began to tell Marcus about everything, about how he hadn’t known for sure, about how, despite knowing how stupid it was, he couldn’t stop himself from hoping, about how he hid the truth away because he didn’t want to disappoint Marcus, and Marcus stood there and listened to it all without saying a single word.

–

Marcus stared at Wrench as the other man came to the end of his tale. It had felt as though his heart had broken just that little bit more with every word that Wrench said.

Honestly, he had been expecting Wrench to tell him that he didn’t like dudes, or that he loved Marcus, but not like that, or any one of another dozen or so reasons that ultimately lead back to the fact that Wrench had stayed quiet about being Marcus’s soulmate because he didn’t want to be with Marcus romantically.

He had not expected Wrench to be so shy, so utterly convinced about his own lack of worth. Marcus didn’t know what had happened to Wrench to make him so sure that he was unworthy of love, but Marcus swore then that he would find some way to change Wrench’s mind; to convince him that he was not only worthy, but that Marcus loved him with his whole heart, and would have even if they weren’t soulmates.

“I’m not disappointed man,” he said when it was clear that Wrench was finished.

“What?” Wrench asked, his mask quickly changing to question marks.

“I’m not disappointed with having you as a soulmate,” Marcus explained, slowly and as clearly as he could, so there was absolutely no chance that Wrench might misunderstand him. “Hell, I’m really happy Wrench.”

The two of them were leaning against one of Wrench’s work benches, their now empty cans of beer resting just behind them. Wrench had been looking right at Marcus, but at that he turned his head and scoffed loudly.

“Not you’re not,” he said. “You wouldn’t have just stood there and stared at me as though the universe had just told you the worst possible joke in existence if you were actually happy Marcus.”

“Fuck you,” Marcus replied playfully. “Yes I am. Damn it Wrench, I was caught off guard the other night. You never said anything about maybe being my soulmate, not even after the crash, so, you know, I was surprised. It was a good surprise though; a damn good one.”

“Come on man,” Wrench muttered, a hint of what might have been self-deprecating laughter or might have been actual tears choking up his voice. “You don’t have to pretend that you’re happy for my sake. God fucking knows I wouldn’t be happy with me as a soulmate.”

“Yeah, well good thing I’m not you then,” Marcus immediately replied.

Wrench froze, even the eye-displays in his mask displaying nothing but their default crosses.

Marcus sighed, rubbed at the back of his head and wondered what it would take to actually convince Wrench that he was one of the most awesome people Marcus had ever met.

“Look Wrench,” Marcus began, hoping that he wouldn’t fuck this whole thing up before it had even really begun. “I like you man. I mean, really, really fucking like you. Hell, I think I might be in love with you.”

Wrench scoffed again in response to that.

“Hey, it’s true,” Marcus continued. “Before I found out that you were my soulmate I kind of well… I hoped that you were. After all, I couldn’t see your face, so I didn’t know for sure that you weren’t so… yeah…”

“Don’t fuck with me Marcus,” Wrench said, sighing and sounding just so fucking tired. “That’s just low, you know?”

“I ain’t fucking with you Wrench,” Marcus insisted. “I think I… No, I know that I am in love with you. I love you Wrench.”

Wrench scoffed again. This time the sound came out so broken and distorted that Marcus got the distinct impression that Wrench actually was crying behind the mask.

“Wrench?” Marcus asked, immediately moving to stand right in front of the other man. He reached out, placing one hand on either side of Wrench’s face and tilting the other man’s head up, forcing Wrench to look at his face.

“I’m not lying,” Marcus insisted. “I swear Wrench, I’ve never wanted anyone to be my soulmate more than I wanted you to be that guy, so finding out that you are? That’s like a fucking dream come true man. You hear me? I’m so damned glad you’re my soulmate.”

Another choked sound emerged from behind the mask and Marcus knew for sure that the other man was crying.

“Hey,” Marcus murmured, his fingers stroking what skin they could reach around the leather and metal of Wrench’s mask. “You okay in there?”

Wrench threw himself at Marcus then, his hands clinging to the front of Marcus’s shirt, his masked face burying into the crook of Marcus’s neck. The spikes on Wrench’s mask made it more than a little uncomfortable, but if it was what Wrench needed then Marcus would be damned before he shoved his soulmate off.

“How?” Wrench sobbed into Marcus’s neck. “How could you possibly be happy with a fuck-up like me?”

Marcus couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He wrapped his arms around Wrench’s back and held him tightly.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he said, meaning it. “You’ve got the same shitty taste in movies as me, you’re one of the coolest, most unique people I’ve ever met, you’re smart, funny, just the right level of crazy and drop-dead gorgeous.”

That last comment earned him a burst of laughter from Wrench.

“How can you think that?” he asked Marcus. “You only saw me for a couple of seconds in shitty lighting Marcus.”

“Well, a couple of seconds was all I needed,” Marcus immediately fired back. “I know a good-looking guy when I see one Wrench.”

That earned him another burst of laughter.

“I think you need new glasses M,” Wrench said.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Marcus said with a shrug, to which Wrench immediately went still. “Ain’t no way that a man as hot as the one I saw would feel the need to cover his face, right?”

That was enough to have Wrench pulling back from the hug and playfully punching Marcus right in the shoulder.

“Hey, will you fucking stop already?” he pleaded. He was still for a moment, but when he turned to face Marcus again his LED eyes were smiling, which was definite progress.

“Look Marcus,” Wrench said, his voice still quiet and broken even if the crying had stopped. “I know I’m never going to be good enough for you. It’s… it’s okay really. I’ve come to terms with that already. I just… I want you to be honest with me, and… shit, this is so fucking cliché, isn’t it? We’re a regular fucking after-school special here, huh? I hope that… that you’ll still let me hang out with you and stuff.”

Marcus rolled his eyes at the other man.

“Did you not just hear me say I love you two minutes ago?” Marcus asked.

Wrench stared at him, frozen and silent once more.

“I love you,” Marcus repeated. “I’m not just saying it to make you happy or whatever you think is going on here. I love you Wrench. If you don’t want to be a couple then that’s cool. I’ll stop saying I love you and the two of us can just go back to being the best damn friends ever, no problem at all, but I ain’t backing down just because you think you don’t deserve me or whatever this bullshit is.”

Wrench still didn’t move. Marcus wished that he knew what was going on behind the other man’s mask. Was he freaking out? Was he happy or feeling shy or what? Without the LED emojis on the other man’s face and with Wrench as still as he was it was impossible to tell.

“Hey,” Marcus said, his voice soft. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Wrench away again, but with what he was about to ask it was possible that he might. “Can I see your face again?”

The eyes of Wrench’s mask displayed two bright exclamation marks that flashed on and off. The other man’s hands formed into tightly clenched fists at his sides.

Marcus wondered whether he had pushed too far.

Then Wrench reached up to push back his own hood and start to pull off his mask. Marcus could tell that his soulmate’s hands were shaking.

“Hey Wrench, if you don’t want to…” Marcus began, reaching out to Wrench, although he had no idea what it was he actually intended to do.

“No,” Wrench said as he started to pull his mask off. “I should… I need to do this… You… you deserve to see…”

His voice had changed part way through removing the mask, immediately becoming quieter and less sure of itself as soon as it had lost the mask’s distortion.

Wrench clenched his mask in both of his hands and looked at Marcus, his pale blue eyes meeting with Marcus’s own. Marcus felt himself choking up at the sight of the other man’s face. He looked so scared, as though he was just waiting for Marcus to come to his senses and reject him.

He didn’t know why Wrench was so convinced that he was ugly. The angry red birthmark over one of his eyes might have had something to do with it. Clearly there was some sort of complex there, one that Marcus silently promised he would do everything he could to help Wrench overcome.

“Hey there gorgeous,” Marcus said, smiling over at the other man.

He reached out and cupped the side of Wrench’s face with one hand. That actually earned him a smile from Wrench, and before long the blonde man was pressing his face into Marcus’s touch and letting out a pleased sigh.

Marcus reached out with his other hand as well, his fingertips delicately tracing over Wrench’s nose and eyelids and mouth, and then finally his name, where it rested on Wrench’s right cheek, right below his eye.

“Marcus,” Wrench whispered. His voice sounded so different without the mask; so deep and smooth and shy. It was probably going to take some getting used to, but Marcus already knew that he loved it.

“Hey,” Marcus murmured, already hovering so close to Wrench that he could feel the other man’s breath on his lips. “Can I kiss you?”

Wrench’s eyes went wide, and then he was blushing and looking away from Marcus as though just that suggestion had been enough to embarrass him.

“Yeah,” Wrench said, so quietly that Marcus almost missed it. “Okay.”

Marcus continued to cup Wrench’s face in his hands, leaned forward, and pressed his lips against Wrench’s own in a soft, gentle kiss that nevertheless had Wrench moaning and pressing against Marcus, his hands tangling in the fabric of Marcus’s shirt and pulling him closer.

They parted before the kiss could grow any deeper, both of them panting and Marcus more turned on by a simple kiss than he could ever remember being before. Wrench’s lips had been so soft and warm and perfect.

He leaned in again for another kiss which Wrench returned even more eagerly than the first, his arms moving to wrap around Marcus’s shoulder and waist and hold him close.

Before long Marcus had Wrench pinned against the workbench, the other man’s arms and eventually legs pulling him closer and refusing to let go. Their kisses grew a little deeper, a little longer, until they were full on making out like a pair of desperate and horny teens.

When they next pulled back it was only by a couple of inches. Marcus stared at the blue, heavily-lidded eyes of his soulmate and was almost blown away by the bliss and love and trust he saw in them.

“I love you,” he whispered to Wrench, because he needed to say it again otherwise he felt as though all the love bubbling up inside him would cause him to explode.

“I love you too,” Wrench whispered back. “God Marcus, I love you so much.”

Marcus couldn’t think of any way to respond to that except to kiss Wrench senseless.

A few days later saw Wrench feeling the happiest that he could ever remember being. Being Marcus’s soulmate turned out to be a dream come true.

They had planned to take things slow, but they had both grown so horny during their second make-out session that grinding against one another had turned into Marcus pressing their cocks together and getting them both off. They stole kisses whenever they could, and beneath Wrench’s hoodie there was a rather large red mark that Marcus had left on his neck. They had yet to spend a whole night together, but Wrench knew that it would only be a matter of time.

Their relationship as lovers had proven to be just as easy as the formation of their friendship had been. They fit together so seamlessly, like two pieces coming together to form some sort of glorious whole.

It was so beautiful and perfect and far more than Wrench had ever expected he would have. He was head over heels in love with his soulmate, and found himself wanting to be around Marcus even more than he had when they had just been friends.

So when Marcus told Wrench that something had been bothering him, Wrench was more than a little confused, especially when Marcus refused to fully explain what he was talking about and instead dragged a still very confused Wrench to a nearby tattoo parlour.

“Marcus,” Wrench began, looking at the front of the tattoo parlour with more than a little suspicion. “What the fuck are we doing here?”

“I’m getting my soulbrand tattooed over,” Marcus said, as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

For a moment Wrench felt like his heart had stopped; like his entire world had been turned upside-down by Marcus uttering just those few words.

Why? It didn’t make any sense. Marcus kept saying that he loved Wrench, and Wrench had thought that everything was going so well. Why the hell would Marcus want to do something like that?

Luckily the absolute terror that arose at the thought that he might lose Marcus’s love was banished when Marcus continued to speak.

“I’m gonna get ‘Wrench’ tattooed in its place,” Marcus said. “I mean, that’s your name now, right? And the original brand was way small anyway. The new one is gonna be much bigger.”

Suddenly Wrench was incredibly fucking glad that he was wearing his mask. Mostly because it only took a moment for Marcus’s words to really sink in before Wrench started crying.

“Damn it Marcus,” Wrench said, his voice breaking despite everything he was doing to try and hide it. “That’s so fucking stupid.”

“I don’t think so,” Marcus said. “Thought I was being pretty smart actually. This way I don’t have to keep putting fucking concealer over the thing. I can be open about being head over heels in love with you without worrying about giving away your identity. I’m yours Wrench.”

Wrench couldn’t take it. The other man was being too damned perfect. The idea was so stupid and so wonderful and so Marcus that Wrench didn’t know what to say or do. He just knew that he loved Marcus and that even if he spent the rest of his life trying he would never deserve someone as wonderful as Marcus Holloway.

Wrench threw himself at his soulmate and clung to the other man, nuzzling into his shoulder and trying to bury himself in the feeling and smell of the other man. It was a stupid thing to do considering he still had his mask on, and it was only when he pulled back that he realised he had torn a couple of holes in the woolen vest that his soulmate was wearing.

Marcus didn’t seem to mind though. He just smiled at Wrench. Wrench smiled back, both with his mouth and the mask.

“Unless…” Marcus began, his smile faltering, and Wrench almost panicked when he realised that his soulmate was perhaps not quite as happy as Wrench had originally thought. “If you don’t want to let everyone know we’re together then that’s cool too. Ah hell. I probably should have cleared this with you before dragging you over. I just got so excited thinking about it man…”

“No, no, no,” Wrench said, squeezing Marcus in a tight hug. “This is brilliant Marcus. This is amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!”

Already he was thinking whether or not he should get Marcus’s name tattooed somewhere on his body that was more visible than his face. Now that he was starting to get used to the idea that Marcus did actually love him back he wanted to shout their love from the rooftops, he wanted to tell all of Dedsec… No, fuck that; he wanted to tell all of San Francisco that he had the best fucking soulmate in the entire world.

“Stay here and hold my hand while I get it done?” Marcus asked.

“Yeah,” Wrench said, immediately grabbing Marcus’s hand and holding it tightly.

He fluttered his eyelashes, knowing that would make his mask display two less than three style love hearts at Marcus. He had a feeling he would be doing that a lot over the next few weeks… or months… hell, hopefully years. They were soulmates after all. Assuming Marcus didn’t realise what a horrible mistake he had made in accepting Wrench and ran for the hills then they would be together for the rest of their lives. That was how it worked, right?

It should have scared Wrench. It didn’t.

In fact, spending the rest of his life with Marcus sounded like absolute bliss to him.

“Totally gonna hold your hand,” Wrench continued. “This is your first tattoo, right? Don’t know if you know this M, but getting one on your face? Ooh, buddy. That’s gonna sting like a bitch. I’m here for you though babe.”

And I always will be, he added silently.

#wrencus #Watch Dogs #watch dogs 2 #marcus holloway #wd wrench #wrench

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bittysvalentines · 6 years ago

Text

You Shine in What I Am / Mas Brilhas No Que Sou

From: @aceinhyperspace

To: @sailorsav

Fic Summary: When Whiskey turns 18 years old, he receives his Gift. But what is he supposed to do with Love? No Content Warnings. General tags: Gen (no pairing); Asexual Whiskey; Eric Bittle; Magic Au; Message: I was so happy to see that I got your gift! Your magic AUs are some of my favourite fics and when I saw that Asexual Whiskey is your jam, I just KNEW what I was going to be writing about. I hope you enjoy!!

Connor knew what love was long before he knew he was ace. It was six year olds holding hands and twelve year olds sneaking kisses because they wanted to be grown up. It was the women in movies, pining after men and demanding roses. It was his teammates in the locker room, talking about bases and the girls they wanted to hook up with after games.

Connor knew that love was something physical and scary and frankly, he wanted no part of it.

Thankfully as everyone in his grade crept closer to their 18th birthdays, the “plant boy” jokes wound down. There was much more interesting news as people got their letters.

“I can’t believe Lauren got metal-bending and I got nothing,” Adriana complained one day at lunch, sprawled on the floor of the hallway outside their 5th period class.

“You know the Guild doesn’t actually call it metal-bending.” Whiskey said into his sandwich.

Adriana rolled her eyes so violently, her head moved as well, dragging her tightly coiled hair across the linoleum. “Ugh, you nerd. That’s not the point. Pretty white girl, I wear bows even on days where there’s no football games, Lauren. She gets to manipulate metal, Connor Whisk. Me-tal.”

“We don’t get a choice, Adri. And frankly, I’ll be thrilled when I get my letter and the Guild tells me ‘Hey, Connor, you’re off the hook. Go play hockey and don’t worry about accidentally setting your college dorm room on fire with this super exciting new superpower you manifested.’”

“Give Peder a break. He’s doing much better now.”

“Yeah, whatever, Adri.”

That evening when he got home, his mother was already at the kitchen table, Skyping her sister in Brasil, hands elegantly shaping the lump of clay spinning on the wheel.

Connor loved watching his mother work- ancient techniques interacting seamlessly with her magic. Her deep brown hands skimmed the edges of the vase, feeling for form sleeping inside the unshapen material. She once told him that her Gift was so much more than moving dirt around. From the rock beds lining the back of their desert home to the red dust she could sweep away with the movement of her hand, Ana Maria Francisca da Silva Whisk saw potential. She saw the shape of things that had been and were meant to be.

“I think I always knew,” She told him a couple years ago, combing her fingers through his hair, loose and chestnut colored, like his father. “Your avô had a farm when I was little. He couldn’t keep me out of the animal pens! He and my mother would lose sight of me for a minute, and they’d find me pelado como Adão e Eva-

“Mãe!”

“-sitting in the middle of the pigs, covered head to toe in mud.” She laughed and laughed.

That day, Connor didn’t feel much like laughing.

“Mamãe?”

“Si, meu amor?”

“Do you see anything in me?”

“O que você quer dizer?” His mother stopped the wheel and looked directly at him. Her eyes were dark, warm.

“I guess…” He stopped, unsure of the words. “I guess I’m worried.”

“Your letter?”

“Sim.”

She took a deep breath, the fine grey dust covering her hands loosening, gently floating to the floor. “Is that it?”

“I don’t know. I’m just ready for highschool to be over. Jake decided to spend all of bio making uncreative jokes about cellular reproduction. And how my gift would be to clone myself.”

��Meu amor, when we spoke about you coming out, I did tell you to be prepared. People can be cruel.”

“Okay, but I thought you meant that about the bi part, not the ace part.”

A small smile flickered across his mother’s lips. Her hand reached out to touch his cheek gently. “I just want things to be easy for you.”

“Eu sei, mamãe.” Connor sighed. “I guess I wanted to know that I’ll be something more than the weird kid.”

“Meu filho. You are so much more than I can tell you. I get glimpses of the man you will be and can only be proud.”

“Ugh, gross mom.” Connor complained, his voice rising in pitch, swatting her hand away.

“Ah! Sem graça! Deixe seu mãe dá amor quando ela pode. Amanhã você vai ficar uma homem grande!”

“Mom!” He ran off, and his mother tossed bits of clay at his retreating back.

-------

Connor had to fight to open his eyes the next morning.

His eighteenth birthday. The day he would receive his Gift.

His feet couldn’t even lift off the ground as he drug himself down the hall towards the kitchen.

Please don’t let it be clones. Please don’t let it be clones.

It wouldn’t be clones, Connor reasoned with himself. His whole family had natural gifts or no gifts at all. If he was lucky, maybe he’d be like his father and oldest sister, who got to live life normally. That way he could focus on hockey and school and not worry about things exploding like Peder. His oldest brother’s pyrokinesis was the coolest thing ever for approximately five minutes.

He stood in the doorway, the glass door separating the kitchen from the rest of the house an immovable barrier. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this.

“Meu amor, vem aqui,” his mother called gently from inside. Her black eyes, sometimes so disarming, were as soft as he ever had seen them. Using all of his strength, he turned the handle and stepped inside.

As soon as he crossed the threshold, his mother stepped forward and wrapped him in her arms. “Voce ‘sta pronto?”

“Nunca.”

“Whatever it is, you can always decline, okay? There is no shame in that.” Her chin rested gently on his shoulder. When had he gotten so much taller than her? She’d always been a towering figure in the family, carrying them through.

“Okay.”

She stepped back, pulling the letter from her work apron. He took it with trepidation, carefully tearing the seal and unfolding the heavy paper.

After a few moments, most of which the words on the page didn’t register, he spoke.

“I… I think... the Guild sent the wrong thing, Mamae.”

“They’re just messengers. You know they have no control over what manifests.” His mother responded, hands already buried in the clay lumped on the wheel of the kitchen nook. “Deixa eu ver.”

His mother’s hand left gray fingerprints on the paper, but she didn’t seem to notice as her eyes scanned the letter.

“Amor.”

“Yes, mom?”

“Nao, not you amor. Amor amor.”

“I think it’s a mistake.” Connor whispered. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Love magic.

For him.

Connor Whisk, asexual extraordinaire, whose longest relationship was with the Shane Doan jersey pinned lovingly to his bedroom wall.

Love magic.

“Connor Silva Whisk.” The letter gently thwapped across the back of his head. “I raised you better than that. Now, if you don’t want it, that’s your decision to make. But what can you do with love? That is a very stupid question.”

Fast forward six years and behold: Whiskey, collegiate hockey champion, in possession of a liberal arts degree, bartending license, and a certificate in business administration, still has no idea.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day that Whiskey meets Eric Bittle, the lights go out.

No, seriously. The lights are actually out.

“I’m so sorry! That just, happens sometimes? I’m workin’ on it. Oh Lord. There is nothing worse than these delicate wire light bulbs, one short and they’re toast! I am so sorry. You know, they make LED versions of these now? Not that I’m telling you how to run your business but-”

Whiskey only stares at the man in front of him, blonde and tanned from the summer sun, already on his knees gingerly picking up shards of glass with his bare hands, words running at a thousand miles an hour.

Poetry, early readers, maybe a teacher? Needs something smoky to drink… whiskey… no, red wine. I have the perfect Zin in the back.

His quick scan of the other man’s desires only takes a second or two. His needs sit close to the surface, close enough that he was probably on his way to ask Whiskey himself.

“If you want to help, at least use a broom. I don’t need to clean up your blood too.” Whiskey says from behind the bar.

The young man freezes, hands already filled with glass. “Well, I suppose that would make much more sense.”

“Yeah, probably,” Whiskey says. He reaches out with a metal bucket. “Here.”

The glass clinks as it’s dropped into the bucket.

“I really am sorry about that. I’m Eric. Eric Bittle. I live up on the third floor. And uh, I have a gift for electricity. Well. Usually. Sometimes unfamiliar systems don’t react well to my emotions. Have you read that fantastic book by Derek Nurse? That’s what caused this whole mess in the first place.”

“Connor Whisk. People call me Whiskey.”

Somehow, even after their disaster of a first meeting, Eric becomes a staple of Whiskey’s bookstore-slash-bar. Most nights find Eric in the corner sofa, a glass of red wine in hand, grading papers for the kids he student teaches.

On a slow night, Whiskey sits next to him, reading through new releases he wants to stock.

Eric’s head hits the back of the sofa.

“Why can’t I just become an electrician?”

Whiskey snorts. “That’d be too predictable. Also, you clearly adore children. You’ll make a great teacher.”

“You’ve never seen me with a child in your life, Connor.” Eric groans.

“Trust me, I just know.”

Not that Whiskey was ever planning on telling him how.

------

The day that Whiskey meets Jack Zimmerman, the lights go off again.

This time metaphorically.

It’s a busy Wednesday night, which puts it right between a quiet Saturday and an overwhelming Monday. Ford and Tango from upstairs are arguing over a game of scrabble; Ransom laughs at them from above his post-rotation beer, hand on Holster’s knee. Dex and Bitty are finishing a diagram of the best way to rewire the bar lights to save energy while still providing ample lighting. Nurse helps stack chairs after his poetry reading. A couple other folks float in and out of the store, occasionally stopping to ask a question. And Whiskey is hovering around all of them, making sure everyone is satisfied.

The seating area is small, so when a stupidly handsome man wearing a godawful black tracksuit walks in, everyone notices.

Grad student… maybe? He’s here for history? Queer Theory? Well, he’ll get more of the latter, but he’ll see that out soon enough. No alcohol. I’ll make some tea in the back after I check in with everyone.

“Excuse me?” Eric leans forward, bridge of his nose crinkled in interest.

“What?” Whiskey asks, picking up the empty glasses on the low coffee table.

“You just started talking about Queer Theory and tea?” Eric says. “I wasn’t hallucinating was I?”

Dex shakes his head. “Nope, I heard it too.”

Whiskey’s stomach drops. “Uh, nothing, just restocking the shelves.”

“If you say so.” Eric is completely unconvinced, but is too polite to push the subject in public.

Yellow.

The echo of desire floats from among the shelves. The new customer’s hands rest on a book, the cover a bright canary, and Whiskey smiles.

With that, he leaves Eric to his drink to help the customers that are reclining against the bar.

About 5 minutes later, the customer had taken a seat at one of the couches in the reading corner, setting the book on the coffee table between him and Bitty.

“Do you mind?” Whiskey, hears him ask. Bittle’s face is flushed.

“Not at all! On second thought, let me move my mess so you don’t have to be competing with… whatever this book is-” Eric waves animatedly at the pile that had been forming in front of him.

Whiskey barely restrains himself from snorting.

Bittle hurriedly shoves his work into a stack and then escapes to the bar counter, “Good Lord, it’s a good thing that man dresses like a russian mobster because if he paired his face with nice clothes, it’d be over for the rest of us.

Ford, two seats down, snorts into her coffee mug.

“This is a small shop, Bits.” Whiskey laughs, “Careful with the volume.”

“Honey, this is New England. I travelled 3,000 miles to be unabashedly loud and gay. This is a queer bookstore for God’s sake.”

“You can say what you want, just know that the object of your unabashedness can probably hear you,” Whiskey says.

They look over to the man in the corner and sure enough, his eyes are on the both of them, a deep furrow in the middle. The intensity of his gaze and the concerned frown on his lips seem to indicate anger. But Connor feels something else.

It hadn’t been the book.

Oh.

OH.

Yellow.

It smells like Quebec in the summer (had he ever been to Quebec?), and feels like a long car trip, singing into the wind, stealing ears of corn from the farmer’s field, grilling it over a campfire at night. There is expensive whiskey and cheap beer on his lips, elation.

Yellow like the afternoon sun reflecting against the pond in winter. Blinding and exhilarating, flying with no sense of direction and no hope of stopping.

“You.” Whiskey whispers.

He can’t hear if Eric responds, his head still filled with desires not his own. It takes him another moment to come into the present, shaking his head subtly to remove the extra noise.

“Connor? Are you alright?” Eric says, gently laying a hand on his arm.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just caught up for a moment.”

“You sure?”

“Just a side effect. I try not to go that deeply but some people suck me in.”

“Oh I knew it! You are a telepath!” Eric whispers excitedly. “Did I tell you my PawPaw once-”

Whiskey cuts Eric off, running an embarrassed hand through his hair. “No, no. I definitely can’t read people’s minds. But, uhhh. I can see what they… love?”

Eric’s eyes widened. “My Lord.” There’s a reverent sparkle in them that Whiskey can’t explain. “You have a Love Gift. That’s something special. Much more special than electricity.”

Whiskey rolls his eyes. “Sure. Really special. I can’t do anything but tell what drink someone wants before they order.”

“It’s a real shame you think that way, Connor.” Eric shakes his head. “Well, now I know how you’ve managed to draw us all here like flies to a sty.”

“Isn’t it flies to honey-”

“Think about it. All of us were floating around, not from the same place or backgrounds. Some with gifts and many without, but now we’re here. Together. That’s because of you.”

Eric saunters back to the couch, oblivious to the distress rising in Whiskey’s chest.

“Hey, Ford. You mind watching front of house for a second?” Connor manages to say before he loses his breath completely, slipping into the back room before receiving a response.

The phone is clammy in his hands, but, like clockwork, she picks up on the second ring.

“Amor?”

“Mom.

“Que está acontecendo, filho? Você ‘tá no trabalho?”

“Mom, I did it again.”

There’s no sound on the other end of the phone for a brief moment. When his mother’s voice comes back on the line, he feels his breath release.

“Okay, I can talk now. Tell me everything.”

“Well, there’s a group of people that come to the store a lot. And I like them, mom. I like all of them. But Eric-”

“That’s the Southern boy, right?”

“Yes Mom, but Eric found out about my Gift today. And he said that everyone is here because of me. It’s my fault. It’s like college all over again.”

“Did he say he didn’t want to be there?”

“No but-”

“Did he say anything about being in love with you- romantically I mean.”

“No, that’s not-”

“Then this doesn’t sound anything like what happened back then.”

Connor takes a few deep breaths. “Mom, I don’t know what to do with this Gift,” he barely whispers into the phone.

A few more seconds pass.

“This may not be my place. You are a grown man now and can make your own decisions. But my love? You need to get your head out of your ass.”

Whiskey stops, shocked. “What?”

The voice on the line is firm, like the earth she manipulates. “I am your mother. I would give you the world, make it kind and easy. But I can’t. You told me, all of seventeen shaking years old that you were bisexual and ace and I let you make the choice to tell others on your own. You received your Gift and kept it on your own. And then when you transferred out east and graduated and started your own business- you did that on your own too. If you want to live the rest of your life away from others, separated by your fear, that is a choice you also make on your own.”

A deep sigh breaks the tension across the line and when his mother speaks again, her tone is gentle.

“I am here for you now, whatever you need, but that won’t always be true. What happened in college was awful, amor. Love magic is a powerful, dangerous thing. But you are not that scared young boy anymore. You are building a new home with new people. And that requires you to love, filho. Love. Love yourself and others and let them love you too.”

Whiskey feels the wet lines running down his cheeks before he realizes he’s crying.

“Thank you mom. I love you.”

“Eu te amo também. Agora, faz uma decisão. E chama-me mais frequente, eu sinto falta da sua voz.”

When Connor comes out of the back room a couple minutes later, he does so with his Gift wide open. And the hearts of the people in the space are so bright, he can’t even see the lights.

#whiskey #fanfiction #bittysvalentines #bv2019 #omgcp

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swans-anime-ramblings · 7 years ago

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“Luffy had no reaction to Boa...doesn’t that mean he won’t have romance?”

I’ve been debating about posting this blog because I was hesitant about the kind of reaction it would receive. But I think this topic is worth discussing logically.

Alright, so let’s dig into this thing.

If we’re going to understand Luffy and his actions (or not actions) towards Boa, then we have to first understand him as being a character that fits the Battle Shonen archetype. The genre, despite people’s complaints about it, is the most popular type of manga/anime genre there is. And One Piece, for all its glorious writing, world building and character development, is perfectly happy to sit in its genre, with Luffy fitting right into the hero archetype.

Where did this archetype even come from? It may surprise you to learn that Dragon Ball is in fact the grandfather of modern Shonen. You know what kind of stories were running in WSJ as DB’s contemporaries? Big burley manly men who never changed or progressed like Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star.

And the antithesis of this is Goku, little innocent Goku who takes this character type and flip it on its head. (Kid Goku is so cute guys! *cries*)

Toriyama’s writing absolutely can’t be understated here. Nobody had ever seen anything like Dragon Ball. It became a cultural phenomenon. It became a blueprint for success.

The classic Shonen Hero archetype has evolved into the following:

innocent

clueless when it comes to love

loves to fight/ get stronger

has a catch phrase

wants to protect their “Nakama”

thinks before they act

often stupid or a simpleton

gains power ups through training and other means

cute

Within the archetype you’ve got big hitters such as:

Goku— the OG who was so clueless, he couldn’t tell someone’s gender without slapping them in the crotch. Also obsessed with getting stronger to the detriment of, well, everything

Luffy— the uber innocent muffin who will do anything for his crew, and will go out of his way for people if it concerns their dreams. Aware of his weaknesses more than the others, Also really dumb at first

Naruto--- the misfit who starts out peeping at girls but then ends up taking on the burden of the entire world, because he’s THAT concerned about everyone and everything. Definitely the most selfless, has dumb moments, but smarter than the others

Ichigo--- the lovable grump who literally doesn’t give a shit. Coolest one of the bunch

Natsu--- loves his friends so much he gains power ups in the middle of the battle to win through the power of friendship. Probably the funniest one, takes life one job request at a time

Asta— the new kid on the block. Constantly yells to the point of irritation, believes working hard will solve all problems, doesn’t understand how relationships work and that nuns don’t get married

Deku— I know people will ask. Yes, he is a Shonen Hero, But doesn’t fit into the archetype so be will be left out of the discussion (the kid actually suffers from overthinking...complete opposite than these lovable idiots)

So, for fun, let’s throw all these Shonen Heroes into the same situation Luffy found himself in

All of these heroes fall through the ceiling and into Boa Hancock’s bath where they come face to face with the most beautiful woman on the planet who is naked.

Goku: completely unphased by Boa’s beauty. Asks who Boa is, and when she gets pissed, stands there with a “huh?” Look on his face when she shoots the love beam at him. After it has no effect, Goku puts his hand up with a smile and then says, “see ya!” Before flying off. Probably more concerned with where Vegeta went and if he managed to find a new level of Super Saiyan

Naruto: definitely phased by Boa. Would probably turn to stone ahahahaha

Ichigo: after being annoyed because he fell through the roof, would take one look at Boa, and get flustered out of embarrassment. By the time Boa tries to question him, he’s already left and found the exit.

Natsu: upon falling into the bath, he’d also be completely unphased by Boa. Would most likely take note of her earrings and ask about them. He’d probably also end up saying something Boa would find unbelievably rude, but something I would laugh hysterically at. “Woah?! Is that your guild mark?! Cool!!!”

Asta: I imagine Asta would most likely cover his eyes out of courtesy, and ask for the way out. When Boa gets mad and asks why he’s not head over heals for her, nor why he’s looking at her body, he’d say something like, “sister Lilly is waiting for me” and then leave. *sigh*

So here’s my point. Three of our boys would have the same exact reaction as Luffy. When it comes to the archetype, lusting after girls simply isn’t in their nature. Natsu’s reaction to a naked Lucy was to cover her boobs with his hands “fine I’ll cover them” he sighs in the dub. No lustful reaction whatsoever. I’m pretty sure any normal guy would, um, not react that way. He looks so bored.

Asta refused to peep at a girls bath (way to shut that down buddy), and Goku’s seen plenty of naked people and he doesn’t care. He even has the same reaction in Dragon Ball Super, after he’s married, when he accidentally sees another woman naked (who is very beautiful).

(Harsh reaction there Goku, lmao)

Luffy’s reaction to Boa is completely in line with the archetype. The innocent nature of the main character is extremely important. Oda even says in the SBS that it would just be plain weird for Luffy to get a nose bleed. I agree.

So, do our boys reactions to Boa mean romance isn’t possible for them? Of course not. Goku got married and had 2 kids. Naruto, who is the most interested in women, got married. Ichigo ended up with someone and had a kid. Natsu’s relationship with Lucy isn’t “canon” yet, buuuttt with this sequel coming and all the art Mashima’s been posting, I think we can all just call it and it’ll be happening. As for Asta, the manga is still young so it’s hard to say, but judging how Tabata is treating romance in his manga, I’d say It’s a distinct possibility. Asta does have a low-key herem going on 🤷‍♀️

When Goku was a kid, he came across a foe who could turn evil (ie bad thoughts) into a weapon and kill you. Goku was the only person to ever survive because he has no impure thoughts. It basically works the same way as Boa’s love-love beam.

This innocence is why Goku can ride his magical flying cloud the Kinto-Un, aka the Flying Nimbus. That innocence in Goku stays with him forever, too. Goku can ride the cloud after he’s gotten married and created spawns. The idea is, sex isn’t dirty. It’s just how you treat it may or may not make it dirty (ie unwarranted advances). Master Roshi, Goku’s perverted teacher, can’t ride the Kinto-Un. Using Goku as an example, our innocent muffins can still have romance/make babies. Their highly innocent nature doesn’t stop them, but normally with these types, they will only have romance/make babies if it’s with one very special person.

This is important to remember; for this genre, romance is a part of maturing and growing up. Most of these shonen heroes end up with someone once they’ve passed a certain point.

In One Piece Specifically

When it comes to Oda’s writing specifically, romance between characters doesn’t really play a huge role in One Piece like the way it does in Naruto and Fairy Tail. Everyone who reads OP should recognize this. Whatever ends up happening at the end of One Piece, there aren’t going to be a zillion pairings and those pairings staring off into the sunset.

There’s that famous line from Oda where he answered a question in the SBS (from chapter 317)

D: Doesn't anyone on Luffy's crew fall in love? Will there never be a tale of on-board romance? (Sanji is an exception in this case) I'm just wondering.

O: OF COURSE THEY'RE IN LOVE... WITH ADVENTURE! (← good one)

The SBS is a place where Oda jokes around with his readers. I think his answer is a good answer because it’s true, and when it comes down to it, a deflective answer. And whatever else Oda has said or hasn’t said in magazines or interviews, Oda can change his mind about what he wants to include or not include in his manga.

The reason I think this is worth bringing up is because I can see a storytelling shift which has changed in his manga. Romance in any capacity used to play almost no role in the early story. Just think about the type of characters he was creating. You’ve got Nolan’s descendant who hangs out with guys that look like monkeys. You’ve got the giants of Elbaf, you’ve got the Galley-Law company guys. There’s hardly any blood families in the first half either. Vivi and her Dad are a notable example, but they are the minority, not the majority. The first half of the story was mostly focused on people who were not blood related and were making their own families, like the Franky family. Like the Strawhats.

Post time-skip and New World, we’ve got a very different story being told. With Kyros and his wife Scarlet, Oda actually gave us the backstory to their romance! Dressrosa was set up a bit for that type of story, but I still find it notable. It wasn’t necessary for character motivations for Kyros. It felt like Oda wrote it because he wanted to.

You’ve got romance playing a big role in Whole Cake Island, even with Chiffon and Bege. This is a married couple with a young son, and not the type of characters we’d see in the early story. Sanji and Pudding were more of a serious type of relationship, even with Sanji “choosing to feel love” for Pudding. Guys, that’s...mature. We’ve seen a lot more blood ties in the New World, even to the point of the Big Mom pirates, dysfunctional as they are.

In the end, you write what you know. When One Piece started, Oda was a single guy, now he’s in his early 40′s with a daughter. The types of stories he’s telling now are based on more mature aspects of his own life.

Does this mean Luffy will most definitely end up with someone? Of course not. There’s a distinct possibility OP will end with Luffy as he is and there be no pairings of any sort.

But to dismiss the possibility of parings based on Luffy’s reaction to women or something Oda said back in some interview, is also too dismissive of a stance to take. Like his Shonen counterparts, romance for Luffy is a possibility. Remember what I said about the genre; romance is sign of growing up and maturing. Luffy is still growing and maturing, so it isn’t out of the cards.

In the end, Only Oda knows. Until One Piece has concluded, we’ll have to wait and see.

#luffy #lunami #luna #luffyxnami #luffy ship

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grs-the-neighborhood · 6 years ago

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@shorty-tori owned this character

Edward “The Changer” Logan

Age: 15

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Demi-sexual

Birthday (Zodiac): July 15; Cancer

Species: ½ Metahuman, ¼ Azarathian, ¼ Demon

Alignment: Vanguard League (formerly) Position: Tech. Department (formerly)

Powers/Abilities:

Martial Arts Training

Matter Manipulation

Telekinesis

Thought projection

Relatives: Garfield Mark Logan/Beast Boy (Father),Rachel Ross/Raven (mother), Trigon (grandfather), Sarina (half maternal sister)

Background: (WIP)

Being the son of Garfield Logan and Raven, two members of the famous “Teen Titans,” he is never able to forget it. Because he is the offspring of two superheroes and has inherited some of his parents’ abilities he is expected to be a superhero as well. Sometimes he feels like that’s the least thing he wants to do, and not because he is a bad person but because most of the time he just wants to relax and enjoy some video gaming and a nice cup of herbal tea. If it wasn’t for a certain “annoying teenage girl”, then he wouldn’t have joined the Vanguard League. Logan was born to two of the legendary members of the Teen Titans; Logan Garfield and Rachel Roth, aka Beast Boy and Raven. Ever since he was born people always pushed their ideas on him that it was his.

However, his life turn upside down when he transportated in another universe (because his was destroyed and wipe out of existance), where it is the same, except he does not exist.

Personality:

He is calm like his mother; and even though his abilities are not the same as hers (for as far as they know), there have been times where his emotions have caused objects in the household to go everywhere when he gets extremely angry. Since then he tries to remain calm as much as possible.

Though just because he is calm doesn’t make him boring. He likes playing video games like his father, always happy when he gets a new game or beats his high scores. If someone were to ask him he would say he is a gaming pro, and that no one is as good as him—wonder where that ego comes from. Also, he likes to be a mischief maker. He enjoys being sarcastic, tricking people, and pulling playful jokes that “hopefully” don’t cause any internal damage to anyone.

Because of his calm and slightly emotionless demeanor, people have thought of him as a cold person. And due to this he barely got any friends as he grew up, that is until he joined the Vanguard League and was able to meet other people like him.

Appearance: The only thing he inherited from his parents were his father’s ears and his green eyes. His hair is a mixed color of his mother and father’s hair and is spiky. He is short in size, like his father was when he was his age, about 5’ 2” and has muscular arms and legs (thanks to his martial arts training). He always wears his red hoodie when he is out of his house along with his matching red high-top converse shoes. During any time he likes wearing fingerless gloves--has different colors for different outfits--and he likes wearing the belts like his father used to. Tries to hide a birthmark in the shape of a snake on his upper left thigh.

Relationships: (WIP) Edward has a good relationship with both of his parents. Because he is a combination of the two, he has always been in the middle of them when they argue—which isn’t hard to believe is about all the time. Though even though his parents argued a lot during his childhood, he doesn’t think he has that it was awful because he could always tell that his parents loved each other.

Cyborg and Beast Boy are best friends, and that continued into adulthood when they became parents. And when two men have children around the same age the one thing they believe would be the "coolest thing in the world" is to have their kids become best friends as well! They were successful, however the two of them can get into arguments at times. Danielle likes to fiddle with his game consoles, phones, and tablets and when she does he usually turns something of hers into a plastic elephant (no real reason for them being elephants, he just does it because it makes her mad). Even after the original Teen Titans grew up and went on their own roads of being heroes, Cyborg and Beast Boy remained best friends. When they reached the point in their lives when they planned on having kids they There are a few people that Edward looks up to, and one of them happens to be Vanguard League's very own Micah Jojo. Being with Micah makes him feel like he is at home relaxing. Just being with someone so chill and relaxed makes him feel the same way. Whenever the two of them play games together the room can turn into a war zone with how competitive the two can be, and one of them ends up extremely butt hurt after they lose but they always make up because it was only just a game. It isn't a secret that the Vanguard League is made up of a lot of members that are highly energetic

Trivia:

· His favorite color is red, and he hates wearing purple and violet

· Favorite game is game is “Roles of Responsibility” (can someone guess the real game?)

· He likes animals, however has never wanted a pet—his dad can transform into literally any animal and pets are too much work

· His favorite drink is herbal tea with one spoon of sugar and some honey

Quotes:

Walking around the Vanguard League base, not having anything better to do Edward decides to play on his hand console game. Not looking where he was going he accidentally bumped into someone and dropped his game, luckily it didn’t break.

“Oh sorry, here you go,” a soothing male voice spoke as a boy kneeled and picked up the hand-held video game device. The guy who spoke had brown and blonde hair and was wearing a blue and white varsity jacket.

As the guy stood up and held out the device Edward immediately knew who he was. Wide eyed he just gawked at the popular video gamer. “Y-y-you’re you’re dr0pTHEmicah,” he took back his game, “man you’re one of my gaming idols! We should totally hang out sometime!”

Edward’s Story: Pick a Side!

Today seemed like a good day; his parents hadn’t fought all day, he broke the high score on his favorite video game, and he was finally about to have a drink of nice herbal tea. It was almost perfect…then Danielle had to come in and ruin it for him.

“Edward, just what are ya doin’?” she yelled as she got in his personal space, “I thought you were going to meet me at my place, so I could take you to check out the Vanguard League!” Even though the force of her screams almost blew him over, he calmly took a sip of his tea.

Being used to yelling and upset women, Edward knew the best thing to do was to remain calm—especially with this one. “Sorry Danielle, I must have forgot. You know if you want to make plans with me you have to make sure I put it on my calendar,” the older teen just glared at him, “and when did I agree to check out the Vanguard League?”

“Oh, just shut up and get ready. You know you’re not getting out of this no matter what you do,” she pulled him from the chair he was sitting on and pushed him towards his room. “You have such cool abilities, your parents are superheroes, and you’re a good kid—you need to be in the Vanguard League! They could use a guy like you.”

Slowly he walked to his room, not wanting to get ready to leave the house. “Come on Danie! Can we please not do this today, I was about to read a book and invite some friends over to play some games!” He sluggishly tried to whine his way out of the situation, but it didn’t matter because one; his voice never moved an octave, and two; Danielle was used to his protesting.

“What friends?” she snorted and continued pushing.

“Touché,” was his only response and as they approached his bedroom door he turned the knob and they entered his room. “Do I have to wear anything special, or can I pick out my own clothes?” He opened his closet and looked through his clothes.

Danielle sat down on his swivel chair for his desk and started to tinker around with his tablet. “Nah, it doesn’t matter, just chose whatever you want. I’m just here to make sure you actually get dressed.”

Quickly the tablet was pulled out of her hands and onto his bed, “I know you like tech,” he pulled off his shirt and using his telekinesis he moved it to his dirty laundry hamper, “but please reframe from playing with my stuff,” he pulled on his signature red hoodie, “I happen to like my tablet just the way it is.”

She quietly pouted and spun around in the chair, and when he was done changing she jumped out of it and once again began dragging him, “finally we can leave! I thought you were going to take forever!”

“If only I could take forever, then I wouldn’t have to deal with this,” he grumbled under his breath.

Before they could make their way out of the door they are stopped by a black raven. “Just where do you two think you’re going?” a woman’s voice caught their attention; that woman being Raven—yes, THE Raven from the Teen Titans.

“Hey Auntie Raven, I was just taking little Edward here to check out the Vanguard League! I hope you don’t mind,” Danielle was so excited that she didn’t notice the slight change in Raven’s expression, but Edward did.

The raven was removed from their way and she gave the two teens a nod, “alright, just don’t get too out of control.”

Before the older teen could drag him far from the front door he quickly pulled away and crept back and opened the door open ajar. Not far he could hear his parents talking.

“Hey Rae, what’s wrong?” he heard his father ask.

For a moment his mother said nothing, then slowly she spoke, “I am just afraid…afraid of the same thing I was when I was pregnant with him. What if he has something evil inside of him like I do? And someone tries to take advantage of him, or use him?” It was rare that he heard his mother worry or become sad, but as she spoke that was all he could hear in her voice.

Garfield chuckled, “Our son is a lot like his mother—one of the best and good-hearted people in this universe!” Raven laughed, and a sound of a kiss could be heard coming from inside the house.

Even though he had been hesitant from joining any super powered groups, he knew now what the right decision was to make; after all he was indeed a good-hearted person, even if other people think he’s cold and emotionless.

Slowly closing the door and walking back to a confused Danielle Edward could help but smile. “Alright Danie, you win. I’m going to join the Vanguard.”

Without even questioning his decision she tackled him in a hug, “awh ya man, boo-yah!”

p> @shorty-tori created this character, but @froppy-butterflyfan2000 post it.

#Character list #shorty-tori #repost #submission

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l0ve-pand0ra · 5 years ago

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anime review: boku no hero academia

not gunna lie.. i shit talked the Hell out of my hero. like sooo much shit. i claimed it wasn’t worth the hype that it was lame, bad plot, etc. all b4 actually watching it like a dumbass. oh , how Wrong i was. my hero for anyone new or old to anime is well known and is very big especially for the incredible character design. my hero gets alot of hype and i do thinks its for a reason. shonen anime is probably the most popular and is where the most popular franchises are born aka naruto, one piece, and dbz. and my hero is at the front running for being this generations leader in shonen. although this is not an anime that i cant find faults in , i can find quite a few but this is one of my favorite animes and is definitely worth the watch, now lets get into it.

this shonen like many is about the underdog who can! when 80% of the population has some sort of super human ability known as a quirk izuku midoriya is in minority 20% of people in superhuman society that do not have a quirk. and with the birth of the superhuman powers came the rise of a new profession, heroism. in which people with quirks get licenses to use them to save people. it’s sorta like how kids now wanna be youtubers well thats what being a hero is in this anime. of course midoriya wants to be a hero just like his idol All Might the #1 hero and pillar of peace.

in order to do that he must get into the top hero school in Japan, U.A Academy. with an acceptance rate of less then 2% (or 0.2% i genuinely cannot remember lol) . midoriya is the classic meek bullied kid being pushed around by childhood friends kaksuki bakugou who is loud, angry, and LOUD, and also wants to be a hero. his quirk is explosions that he creates from his palms with his nitroglycerin like sweat.

one day midoriya gets to meet his idol and the series kicks off. midoriyas journey in getting into U.A, viallian attacks, sports festivals., interships, training camps and more!

now midoriya as a main character grew on me. truth me told the first 5 episodes of my hero are Painful to get through, they made me cringe and midoriya cries about 5 times in one 20 minute episode which is exhausting. personally my favorite type of shonen anime protagonist are himbos , aka dumb sunshines. midoriya is not this he’s actually incrediblely smart but he’s so meek it’s annoying and for a while I thought he was the worst choice for protagonist especially with how amazing the side characters are, but he grows on you and it makes sense why he is the way he is and his character development is good. he grows much more confident and sure of himself. he has that naruto talk-no-jutsu vibe about him lol. but overall he’s good, not my favorite character by anymeans in fact i doubt he’d be in my top 5 in this series.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART ABOUT MY HERO; SIDE CHARACTERS (now i am only a mortal so i will only be talking about characters that stand out and add something to the show aka invisible girl is not mentioned neither is tail boy)

bakugou!!!! listen, he is a piece of work. and honestly it took me till season 2 to actually like and enjoy his character. he’s defently different from the normal angry anime boy because he has Zero reason to be angry which sorta adds to the comedy of the show. hes weathly, has two good parents, hes liked and popular despite being somewhat nasty, and he has a cool ass quirk along with being a prodigy at basically everything. his inferiority complex is what he battles the entire show I do feel like his character development was a little too slow, they could moved it along a little bit and not held onto how angry he was for absolutely no reason but again it kind of adds to the charm his character. his design is so beautiful the blonde hair the red eyes he’s great and hes my second fave character. his anger is toward mostly midoriya toward most people hes just loud but he really has a problem with midoriya. a problem he lowkey made up in his head but overall bakugou is a strong character and a different type of hero, he’s the opposite of all might in everyway.

TODOROKI!!!!!! if you dont know who todoroki is and you somewhat watch anime or see anime content on your social media, you are lying. his character design is super well known and is honestly beautiful he’s literally breath taking. speaking of character design let’s leave the Zuko versus Todoroki discord somewhere else I just don’t care let’s leave it alone they both have scars and daddy issues big whoop! they would literally be bffs move on. now that thats out of the way, todoroki is phenomenal, he’s the more silent type but not tsundere at all. we dont see alot of him in season 1 but mainly in season 2, he’s the son of the #2 hero endeavor who despite being a hero is human garbage! his quirk is half cold half hot. essentially he has two quirks one creating ice from the right side of his body and create flames from his left (the coolest and most versatile quirk in the series) his hatred towards his father makes him unwilling to use his fire side. but he gets over it! todoroki i feel definitely got snubbed , i feel like the dimmed him down because of how easily he could overshadow midoriya and honestly my hero could have easily been about todoroki and his journey discovering what kind of hero he wants to be thats how good he is. I cried 4 times during his battle with midoriya. i love todoroki and he is my fave character of the series.

Kirishima!!!!!! his quirk his hardening, he makes his whole body rock hard. i adore kirishima hes is so wonderful as a side character. we really see him shine in s4 during his work study and i love that especially since he was often pushed to the side. he’s also the first person bakugou acknowledes as an equal and friend. his backstory and motivation is really touching and his character design is so fun !! i love sharp teeth boi’s!!!!! and also i dont know they made him so obsessed with being chivalrous and manly but not a misogynist that is like so hard to do and they did it so well. and the fact that his motivation to keep going is a woman and someone who he respects was also so cool. also his hero custome is so cool. he said full chest out !!

mineta, now this is a character that literally everyone hates and granted he’s not my favorite character not even close but I don’t think he’s that bad. He’s the classic pervert classic girl obsessed character. His quirk is literally detaching sticky balls from his head he’s gross but I don’t mind him like all he does is talk like they have an anime character is a straight up harass women which he does sometimes but I don’t know I just don’t get why hes so hated when there are tons of similar character types like him that are worse that don’t get that much hate like I’m not defending him he’s gross but it’s not terrible and he provides comedic relief which is not always funny but it’s there

kaminari! cute shock boy! hes a more digestible and attractive version of mineta, slightly girl crazy but hes fun! hes also friends with bakugou and his quirk electricity but if he over uses it he gives himself brain damage and turns dumb. again hes more often then not pushed aside but hes funny and his personality is awesome and bright.

Iida, someone im kinda lukewarm about? he’s definitely a major side character and gets his own huge moments and out of all the side characters gets alot of screen time. his quirk is engine legs that make him super fast. hes a stick up his ass class rep but he’s nice and way more likeable after the first few episodes

ochaco.....um. shes ok ig, her quirk is making these float. has a crush on midoriya which is fine even though she looks his she could be his cousin dndjd. idk i dont love her type of preppy i wanna be like my crush character type, hinata does it better. but shes ok again lukewarm about her, i definitely like some of the other female characters better but shes not awful. again most shonen animes use female characters as prop to further the male protagonist character along. idk i jus dont like her personality.

froppy!!!! tsu!!! i adore you ! would d word for you!!! i love her so much shes such a cool character and she doesn’t fit into a box in terms of character type. her quirk is frog meaning she can do everything a frog can do. she’s so level headed and smart and witty she really adds something everytime she comes on. she’s just so chill i really appreciate that.

jiro!!! wonderfully talented queen! her quirk is earphone jack! shes just so again chilled and laid back but also super smart and perceptive. sorta tomboyish which is really cool 2 see a different look for a female character.

yayorozu!!!!! my favorite female characters of the show. her quirk is creation, she makes anything she wants as long as she knows the structure. its dope af. shes so smart and responsible and has an awesome sense of self improvement. i do believe in eating the rich but i still love her. shes a natural leader which i love to see and i think she should have been class rep but as always, men have to be in postions of power ...

tetsutetsu!!!!! the only person in class b with rights. hes kind of like kirishimas counter part, he also has a hardening quirk which makes his body into steele. hes jus so Funny and loud and i wish he was in class 1 a he’d be so good. he brings alot of energy and his fight with kirishima was so fun to watch.

miro, again. someone i shit talked b4 seeing what they were about. i honestly thought miro was going to have some evil agenda against my midoriya but he didn’t he was so good so bright his quirk is so cool it’s permeation meaning he can like walk through walls and stuff he’s so cool!!

tamaki!!!!!!!!! I ADORE HIM! SO MUCH!! hes so shy and insecure but wtf so badass with an amazing quirk called manifest meaning he can manifest on his body the different types of food he eats like he eats octopus he gets tentacle arms which means he basically has like an unlimited number of quirks??!! so dope and his character design is so sexy hes my bf

shinso, now his design is very good he reminds me alot of aizawa, and his quirk is insane and i dont know how people like invisible girl, tail guy, fucking mineta got into the hero course but someone like shinso with a brainwashing quirk didn’t, all someone has to do is answer his question and their under his control, literally so useful. he’s a really hyped up character which I find interesting because in the anime manga people don’t come for me he isn’t really showcased which is really annoying because he’s cool and I get what the hype is about but I just wish we saw more of him I think there is in the actual manga but in the anime he makes like two appearances??

AIZAWA!!! hes so ,, hot, idc him a bun forget it.. im .. his quirk... SO DOPE I MEAN TO BE ABLE TO ERASE SOMEONE QUIRK,,? dope af, his tsundere with more dere then anything hes so sweet and genuinely loves his class So Much, they are his babies. his character is super genuine and its so fun to see him and someone like all might working along side eachother just because they are such different people. aizawa is definitely my third favorite character

all might!!! the big man himself! honestly all might is what superman wishes he was, he is just so Nice and caring and just wants to help people thats all he wants to do, hes the only person deemed worthy by stain. he plays such a huge role in the series in a way a mentor/idol really never has 4 me. i love his other version as well its so well designed to be such a contrast to his muscle form.

stain, the best villain on the show, most complex and truly thought provoking and just all in all they did such a good job with his character design and his motives the stain arc was my favorite in terms of villains because my hero really kind of lacks in villians and sure the league does get better but stain has the most like convincing argument and morals like the concept that he wants to purge the fake heroes of the society away is just fascinating because society in the series so overpopulated with heros and just ugh such a good villain and his quirk,, crazy being to paralyze people by tasting their blood wild

dabi!!! aka todorokis brother (thats not a spoiler jus a fan theory that i wholeheartedly believe) his quirk is cremation which he basically has such hot fire that it jus turns everything to ash. aka his character design being him with burns, his body most likely can’t fully handle his quirk. hes so hot ugh literally come on emo boy! but really hes a cool villain and works for the League. I wish we saw more of him which I know in season 4 like toward the end he makes a pretty big appearance but after training camp we don’t see him as much as I wish we did and he’s super famous hyped up character again because his design is so dope. he’d be a good anti hero.

shigaraki!!! he’s actually my fourth favorite character.... you guys ever have that one character that one think most likely thinks is hot, but you do. YES HES CRUSTY BUT STILL SEXY GAMER. if i could just give him a skincare routine...His character is one that got probably the most development I mean we see this bratty childish kind of loser in season one in in season for a re-really see a masterminded plan from him and something truly thought out because I feel like a lot of his plans aren’t thought through and this is one of the first ones that I see truly come to fruition the way he wanted to. I really appreciate that from a villain who can grow because he wasn’t a very convincing villian and he had no motivation to do what he was doing and just seem like a dumb kid but like now after watching him grow he’s really coming into his own and for season five I want to see him continue that growth he’s having.

OK IM SO SORRY THE SIDE CHARACTERS TOOK 80 YEARS THERE ARE SO MANY

now onto my critiques these are MY opinions which literally don’t matter the author/artist is incredible and knows what they’re doing and they don’t have to cater to what I want at all this is just how I thought while watching the anime.

I feel like midoriya is a character that can’t really shine on his. I feel like side characters need to be pushed down and snubbed for him to look cool. and in general I just feel like because of the personality that he has as a main character he kind of struggles to shine unless they dim the light of the other characters because especially in season four midoriya is just constantly pushed and pushed as this end all be all if feels which OK he’s the main character but like was it realistic for some of the things that happen in season four to happen I don’t wanna spoil but if you watched it you know like who defeated who and so on. at least to me sometimes it’s really obvious that they’re pushing for you to have that midoriya is so cool reaction which just seems forced.

I mention this in some of the side character villains but my hero really doesn’t have like super compelling villains with proper reasoning to what they’re doing or maybe we just haven’t seen that yet in the anime but for me the only good villain the whole series was stain. sure the league of villains gets better but they’re seen as a joke for most of the series at least to me like I didn’t really take them seriously just them minus all for one. I feel like they have these major villains but only see them once especially with all for one we saw him once and then if you watch the my hero movie he’s like there for 2.2 seconds as a major plot point but him physically as a villain but I see him once in action and even so I still think stain is a better villain and notice how I’m not mentioning overhaul in this conversation. there was just something beyond villainious about overhaul especially the child abuse. and again he’s someone who was spoiler alert defeated and in one shot kind of way it only took half the season and if you compare him and his organization to the league their miles ahead of the League so why did they get defeated first it just kind of didn’t make sense to me.

I was sort of annoyed when the big three got introduced for my side character analysis I praised two out of the three of them and I love the third member she is incredible and a bad ass I just couldn’t write any more about side characters or else this will never end but did we need the introduction of more students when there are so many in class 1a themselves that just don’t get the light of day especially in season four with Todoroki and Bakugou being absent for most of it.

endeavor doesn’t deserve redemption arc that’s what they’re setting up for now i don’t want it he’s gross he’s a domestic abuser he’s a child beater he’s a child neglecter. he’s gross and I don’t understand how this hasn’t been exposed to the public about how the number one hero beat his wife and kids how we just not know that.

I mentioned this with bakugous character review but I feel like his development was just so agonizingly slow for no reason because it wasn’t this deep-rooted issue it was something he misinterpreted and created this fake narrative in his head about midoriya. and even after they have that big fight and acknowledge each other I feel like there’s still something missing which bothers me because there is no reason one it should’ve taken four seasons when Todoroki‘s deep-rooted issues were solved in a couple episodes basically.

I feel like the series attempted to add romance and then gave up which I think was a smart move just because at the moment there isn’t really a place for it and this is coming from someone who adores romance in anime and I thrive off it but in my hero specifically especially the way they were going to do it with Ocacho was just not it and I really hope they don’t reduce her character even more to just pining over the male protagonist because I’ll be sad because even though I’m not crazy for her I still think she’s a solid character who I don’t want to become just a propeller for character development for the sake of the male protagonist.

things i love!!

the animation is beautiful, it’s so unique and different and just feels really fresh. you can clearly see the movements and can we talk about how well they draw hands? got tier anime hands.

the fighting was the Best ive ever seen in terms of timing, most shonen animes can drag on battles for many many episodes especially dbz, it honestly feels tiring and i love the my hero has the Perfect length to i get all the action and never feel bored or over it. I also enjoy that the anime wasn’t super fillery, and when there was it wasn’t that noticeable that it wasn’t canon.

how everyone is friends really makes me happy especially to see midoriya be so loved and respected by his peers, and everyone views him as an inspiration. to know he was bullied and hated by his class in middle school to in high school having everyone love him enough to make him class rep at first. which I am so glad he stepped down from because it was lowkey cringe that he won djdj.

how rivalry is done is nice because its not a huge major thing, sure everyone is competitive but its friendly and motivating. its not cutthroat.

the dub is really good, ik people shit on dub which is fair. but sometimes the dub hits and there are moments when you wanna watch anime but you have stuff to do so you can’t solely focus on the screen. personally i don’t know why but i had a hard time getting into my hero with sub and had to watch it dub. but if you do like dubbed anime then the my hero dub is solid im sure certain things are said cooler in the sub than dub (aka hqs “dont let me down fellas alright?” jdjdxjxj) but it is a funimation dub which are almost always decent.

the structure of society and the information we get told about heros and the job are soo well done. I feel like I really understand the setting which in fanatasy animes can be somewhat difficult, and everything makes sense and is really normal. they do such a good job making being a hero a normal thing, especially since heroism especially in the western comics is viewed as this big deal that not everyone can do while in my hero its the opposite. i love that.

midoriyas not give up attitude is really endearing, sure most shonen protagonist have this but especially with midoriya being the Biggest underdog to the point where he ruins his body over and over again and still keeps moving. a moments i genuinely loved midoriyas character and fell for him completely was during training camp, when he fight smuscular and still keeps moving despite being Ruined. it’s my favorite right after stains.

i love seeing them train! ik the actual villains are exciting but things like training camp and the creating special moves moment were my favorite.

Overall;

i love my hero, it’s quickly made its way to my favorite animes of all time, the characters, plot, and motivations are so good. it’s an anime that makes me feel like I can do anything i set my mind to. I enjoy the fact that it’s an anime that like I feel like there can be a discussion and not one over about whether it’s good or bad because it’s definitely good but more in how things are done the reason things were done how things could’ve been done differently there’s a lot to talk about and I feel like this is a very unique thing because I think with a lot of anime everything is so set in stone and if things were done a different way and it wouldn’t work with my hero there are so many ways things would go which I love. and I also love that there are things that I don’t like about it or that I’m not crazy about and for some reason that makes me like it even more because I feel like again back to the discussion point there’s so much to talk about especially on like Reddit where you can see what other people think and if you’re wrong if you’re right it doesn’t really matter because I think today this is just anime! give it a watch if you are curious you wont regret it!

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #anime #bnha

0 notes

thelonglazyworm · 8 years ago

Link

[TKA Fan Radio Drama] Glory Professional Alliance Sports Meet (with translated transcript)

One of those fan radio drama from a couple of years back. It’s pretty fun~

Many of the voices actors that took part in this ended up officially in the animation for characters such as Ye Xiu, Huang Shaotian, Steam Bun, Han Wenqing. This fan radio drama is actually one of the reasons why they ended up in their respective roles. I really love the voice acting here!

Someone put up the transcript so I took liberties to loosely translate it here. Many thanks to Amsdia & Merlin for doing a quick proofread!

I was halfway into the translation when I realised that people who finished the book probably don’t need this translation. -o- People who are following the English translation of the novel probably aren’t familiar with half of the characters here. There’s also bunch of spoilers... Oh well.... You’ve been warned.

Translation:

Glory Professional Alliance Sports Meet

Chairman Feng: We are at the tail-end of summer, as the autumn wind rounds the corner. Thanks to the valiant efforts of the Sports Committee and the participants, the first Glory Alliance Sports Meet opens today! (Applause) Blah blah blah…...

Wei Chen: Damn it. Why is Old Feng so long-winded today? He was never this bad during the pro-league prize presentations.

Ye Xiu: Yeah, it’s been almost an hour. Man, I’m about to be burned to death.

Wei Chen: What the fuck are you doing?

Ye Xiu: I can barely stand. Come on, let me lean on you for a bit.

Wei Chen: Get off. Can’t you see that I’m in the same situation?

Ye Xiu: Get Cold Hands to recover your HP.

Wei Chen: Why don’t you do that!?

Fang Rui: Hey, will the two of you keep it down? Have some restraint.

Wei Chen: Fang Rui, you shameless fucker. Saying that when you’re about to fall onto Tyranny’s side yourself.

Ye Xiu: Say, Old Han, aren’t you Tyranny people feeling the heat in all that black clothing? Who’s the designer? Does he hate you?

Huang Shaotian: Hot like hell hot like hell hot like hell hot like hell hot like hell hot like hell! Captain, don’t you think that the Alliance must be brain dead from the heat? What’s with organizing such a stupid Sports Meet before the competitions? That’s totally heartless and inhuman! Don’t you agree, Captain? Don’t you agree?

Yu Wenzhou: Chairman Feng has mentioned that the body is essential to playing games. Therefore pro-players also need to train up.

Wei Chen: Haha. Do you really buy that explanation?

Yu Wenzhou: Ah. Hello Captain Wei.

Huang Shaotian: Say, Boss Wei. How could you eavesdrop on others’ conversations?

Wei Chen: Bullshit, kid. Who needs to eavesdrop when you’re that loud? Didn’t you see Old Feng glaring at you from the corner of his eyes? [Pang Guang = corner of his eyes]

Huang Shaotian: Side glance, Boss, it should be side glance. “Pang Guang” is for pissing. [Pang Guang = bladder]

Wei Chen: Piss off! I meant “pang” as in side! Are you looking for a beating?

Huang Shaotian: Hey, hey, a gentleman doesn’t raise his hands.

Wei Chen: (hitting while saying) I am so raising them! Raising and using them!

Huang Shaotian: Sidestepping, sidestepping. Haha, heh, you can’t hit me~

Cheng Guo: (speechless) Seriously, that’s enough...

Tang Rou: Frankly, it’s a pretty daunting task for people who aren’t used to working out to compete in such sweltering heat.

Ye Xiu: Sigh. Should have applied for sick leave. I’m starting to miss the keyboard and in-game world.

Lin Jingyan: God Ye is sick? What illness?

Han Wenqing: Final stage of lazy cancer.

Everyone: Pft! (laughter)

Steam Bun: What? Boss has cancer? Oh no! When did that happen?

Ye Xiu: Steam Bun, you...

Su Mucheng: Shh. Quiet, quiet. The Chairman is almost done with his speech.

Chairman Feng: … And I hereby announce, the Glory Alliance Friendly Sports Meet, starts now!

Pan Lin: Hello everyone, I am Pan Lin, your announcer for today.

Li Yibo: And I am Li Yibo.

Pan Lin: First up is the Men’s 200m heats. Let us put our hands together to welcome our first group of competitors!

Li Yibo: They are: Wei Chen from Team Happy, Huang Shaotian from Team Blue Rain, Xiao Shiqin from Team Thunderclap, Wu Yuce from Team Void, and Li Hua from Team Misty Rain.

Wei Chen: Thank you! Thank you, everyone, for all your wishes and support towards me.

Huang Shaotian: Boss Wei, please keep your shamelessness in check. Are you sure those cheers are for you? Take a closer look. See, those are obviously banners for Blue Rain!

Blue Rain Fans: Blue Rain, Blue Rain is the best! Blue Rain, Blue Rain beats the rest!

Wei Chen: Hah. It even rhymes.

Pan Lin: Ok, everyone is prepared and ready to go. And the referee raises his gun.

(Cheers)

Pan Lin: And with a bang, Huang Shaotian is the first to head off, as expected of the best opportunist of the Alliance!

Li Yibo: Right on his heels is Wu Yuce. Ah! And Wu Yuce has overtaken Huang Shaotian! He is fast!

Pan Lin: But Huang Shaotian is not giving up. He is speeding up, and it seems… That he’s shouting something?

Huang Shaotian: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you! Look, here’s my triple slash speed boost! AHHHH!

Li Yibo: Huang Shaotian sure is energetic...

Pan Lin: Ah, Li Hua is also close behind! And Misty Rain’s female fans are screaming their hearts out!

Li Yibo: Over at the finishing point, Dai Yanqi is waving her arms wildly, cheering for her team captain, Xiao Shiqin. Such touching team spirit!

Dai Yanqi: Good luck, Captain! All the best! Captain is the coolest! (squeals)

Pan Lin: And so, Wei Chen is the last of them! He’s quite a distance from the finishing line, it’ll be quite hard to catch up.

Li Yibo: Well, it does seem like this level of activity is somewhat taxing for the old guard.

Pan Lin: Yeah.

Wei Chen: (sounds of panting and slow steps)

Pan Lin: As Wei Chen gets slower and slower, Wu Yuce becomes the first to cross the finishing line! That’s truly rare athleticism for a professional gamer!

(Wei Chen stops, panting)

Wei Chen: (gasping)

Ye Xiu: Say, can you still go on?

Wei Chen: Old… Old me… Is… Is just… Just...

Ye Xiu: I understand, I understand. This elderly one is proving a point~ Shall I call an ambulance for you?

Wei Chen: … Fuck off...!

Li Yibo: Next up, the 2nd heats of Men’s 200m is about to start. In the order of their respective lanes are: Wang Jiexi of Team Tiny Herb, Zhang Jiale from Team Tyranny, Zhou Zekai from Team Samsara, Yang Cong from Team 301, and Zou Yuan from Team Hundred Blossoms.

Zhang Xinjie: You’re up, Senior Zhang Jiale.

Lin Jingyan: All the best! We believe in you.

Zhang Jiale: No sweat. 200m is nothing.

Ye Xiu: Good luck, Le Le. Aim for number 2~

Zhang Jiale: (shows the middle finger) Fuck you!

Jiang Botao: Captain, do your best too.

Zhou Zekai: Mm!

Ye Xiu: Xiao Zhou looks like the kind who exercises regularly.

Zhou Zekai: Yes. Every day 20.

Ye Xiu: 20?

Zhou Zekai: 500m, 20 rounds.

Ye Xiu: …(awkward cough) Erm, go on quickly, the referee’s calling for you.

Pan Lin: Great, everyone’s now in their respective lanes.

(Gunshot)

Li Yibo: And the race starts! Zhou Zekai is staying put in the lead position and behind him are Zhang Jiale, Zou Yuan, Wang Jiexi, and Yang Cong.

Huang Shaotian: The hell? Does Zhou Zekai intend to run all the way with this speed? Good looks, great gaming skills, and this good at running? Heaven is being absurdly unfair!

Ye Xiu: Uh-huh, it’s quite unfair.

Huang Shaotian: You think so too, right?

Ye Xiu: Why are his conversation skill points all given to you?

Huang Shaotian: … You asshole!

Pan Lin: There’s 50m left! 30m! And Zhou Zekai has started sprinting! He’s sprinting!

Li Yibo: Awesome! Zhou Zekai leads all the way and is the first to cross the finishing line! That was superb!

Pan Lin: Zhang Jiale also meets everyone’s expectations, doing a good job of taking the number 2 spot. Ah, he’s pointing his... Middle finger at me, expressing his current, erm, enthusiastic feelings...

Ye Xiu: Take it easy, Old Sun.

Sun Zheping: Thanks.

(Ye Xiu turns, almost bumping into incoming Zhang Jiale)

Ye Xiu: Whoa! Hey, aren’t you too eager to see Old Sun? After all, Zhang Xinjie’s also in this round. You should put on your professional best to support your team, Tyranny.

Zhang Jiale: (gasping) Pah! As if you have any right to criticize me. Who’s the one that’s been going around all morning, putting a wedge among the rivals in competition?

(Zhang Jiale turns to wave at Sun Zheping)

Zhang Jiale: Do your best, Big Sun!

(A sudden burst of fangirls screaming among the spectators)

Fangirls: Zhang Jiale! Sun Zheping! One million years of Blossom and Blood! One~ Million~ Years~ [Blossom and Blood: their famous combo move]

Zhang Jiale: (shocked) What the hell… What is this!?

Ye Xiu: Just focus on watching the game...

(Zhang Jiale drinks water)

Zhang Jiale: (swallows) Sigh, I can’t tell what Sun Zheping is thinking. He usually doesn’t exercise. It’s a miracle if he even bothers to sweep the floor…. Hey, don’t spread this around. I’m screwed if he finds out I’ve been complaining behind his back.

Ye Xiu: No problem~

(Ye Xiu turns his head to shout)

Ye Xiu: Dear friends from Heavenly Sword! I’ve heard that Old Sun doesn’t even sweep his own floor! Send my heartfelt regards to your cleaning lady!

(Zhang Jiale spits out his drink)

Zhang Jiale: (coughs) Fuck, do you want to die? Don’t run!

Ye Xiu: I am off~

(Ye Xiu runs off)

Zhang Jiale: (shouts) Just you wait, Old Ye! I will get my revenge someday!

(At Samsara)

Du Ming: This looks nice. This one’s also good. So hard to choose...

Lu Boyuan: Du Ming! What are you doing, acting so suspiciously?

Du Ming: Ah?! No...nothing in particular!

(Phone is snatched)

Du Ming: Hey! Give it back!

Lu Boyuan: Yo! Pretty lady Tang Rou huh~ Not a bad photo.

(Jiang Botao walks over)

Jiang Botao: Tang Rou?

Du Ming: Um.. Taken just… Just now during the Women’s 200m race.

(Swipes the phone)

Jiang Botao: Well, this one looks nice.

Du Ming: Thank you, Vice Captain.

Jiang Botao: What is it for?

Lu Boyuan: Need you ask? For his handphone wallpaper, of course~

Du Ming: Go away!

Li Yibo: The morning matches have all ended. We will continue in the afternoon at 1.30pm. Have a good break, and we’ll see you again in the afternoon!

Li Yibo: Hello everyone, good afternoon! I am Li Yibo.

Pan Lin: And I am Pan Lin.

Li Yibo: Welcome back to the live of the first ever Glory Sports Meets. You probably still can’t get enough of the exciting matches from this morning. Worry not, as there’s more to come!

Pan Lin: First up is the finals for Men’s Long Jump. In this match, we have our famed Glory Textbook, God Ye Xiu! A rare sighting indeed!

Li Yibo: That’s right! What else could be more exciting than that?

(Behind the scenes)

Ye Xiu: Say… Is it too late for me to back out...?

Chen Guo: Too late! Go, go!

Su Mucheng: Do your best~

Steam Bun: Good luck, Boss! Good luck!

(Ye Xiu is pushed out)

(Crowd cheering)

Pan Lin: Oh? Speak of the devil! Team Happy’s Captain, Ye Xiu, has just appeared on the pit.

Li Yibo: God Ye Xiu immediately strikes up a conversation with Sun Xiang who is also competing in this category.

Pan Lin: The two of them have a somewhat delicate relation in the Pro-Alliance. I can’t help but wonder what they might talk about before the match.

Li Yibo: Now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m curious too!

(Ye Xiu walks over)

Ye Xiu: Comrade Sun Xiang looks spirited. But are you prepared to admit your loss to this awesomeness in front of you?

Sun XIang: You…!

Jiang Botao: Sun Xiang, it’s your turn!

(Crowd cheering)

Sun Xiang: Hnn!

(Sun Xiang left)

Ye Xiu: Ah, that kid’s still as impulsive as ever.

(Sun Xiang aims)

Sun Xiang: Hng!

(Sun Xiang jumps)

Pan Lin: Sun Xiang’s record is a little unexpected… But to be able to jump 2.5m, it’s already not bad for a professional gamer, right? Yibo?

Li Yibo: Haha! That’s right. After Sun Xiang, we’ve now come to Ye Xiu’s turn. Fans here are pretty worked up right now! Ah, someone just threw a water bottle from Tyranny’s side.

(Cheers and Boos)

Ye Xiu: Fans are way too passionate. Oh well, with my overwhelming popularity, that can’t be helped.

(Ye Xiu walks over)

Pan Lin: God Ye Xiu is getting ready to jump! What will his result be? Let‘s keep our eyes peeled!

Ye Xiu: 1, 2, 3… Hey ho!

(Ye Xiu jumps and lands)

(Crowd boos)

Pan Lin: (awkward).....Erm… Ah…. This is a friendly match after all, nobody is a professional athlete. 1.9m is already quite good...

Li Yibo: Yes, yes… Ye Xiu is probably much better performing in Glory. Erm…. Moving on to the next match!

(Behind the scenes of Team Happy)

Wei Chen: My back is about to break!

Ye Xiu: Don’t say anymore. I have a headache – it’s as if I’ve listened Huang Shaotian perform a crosstalk…. For that team captain friendly something-or-other match later, can I pretend I’m dead?

(Chen Guo jumps up and slaps Ye Xiu’s back)

Chen Guo: Of course not!

Ye Xiu: Oooh ouch ouch pain pain pain!

Chen Guo: Other teams have gotten quite a few champions! We have nothing except for Steam Bun’s win at discus throwing!

Ye Xiu: Sis, it’s just a friendly match…. Surely you don’t have to be so serious?

Chen Guo: Even if it’s a friendly match!

Wei Chen: Girl, you’re getting desperate...

Chen Guo: Shut up!

Pan Lin: Everyone! We are now at the most exciting part of the day! The final match of this Sports Meet, the Three-Legged 200m Run!

Li Yibo: This is a friendly match where all the team captains participate together in groups of two. Each group is decided by random draw. Isn’t it exciting? Aren’t you looking forward to it?

(Crowd cheers and screams)

Li Yibo: Let us take a look at the final outcome of the draw.

Pan Lin: Okay.

Li Yibo: Blue Rain’s Yu Wenzhou with Samsara’s Zhou Zekai; Void’s Li Xuan with Hundred Blossom’s Yu Feng.

Pan Lin: Tiny Herb’s Wang Jiexi and Excellent Era’s Qiu Fei….. Oh? Who’d have thought, who’d have thought!? Team Happy’s Ye Xiu and Tyranny drew the same lot! Hahahahaha! This must be destiny!

(behind the scenes)

Ye Xiu: Are they trying to make a joke out of me?

Fang Rui: My, my! What a rare matchup! O’ Great Ye Xiu is lucky today!

Tang Rou: Do your best, I favour you two.

Wei Chen: (claps Ye Xiu’s shoulder) I truly admire the close relationship you two share.

Qiao Yifan: Captain, be careful not to trip.

An Wenyi: Captain, you… are really my idol.

Luo Ji: Captain, we’ll all be cheering for you!

Su Mucheng: I needn’t say anything. You know~

Mo Fan: Er… Good luck.

Chen Guo: (claps Ye Xiu’s shoulder) Get a hold of yourself! See, even Mo Fan is cheering for you. Do a good job and don’t tarnish Happy’s reputation!

Ye Xiu: You all definitely planned this together...

(Tyranny’s F4 comes over)

Zhang Jiale: Hahahaha! Serves you right! Karma’s a bitch!

Zhang Xinjie: (serious) All the best. I believe in the unspoken understanding between Captain and Senior Ye Xiu.

Lin Jingyan: (gleefully fanning fires) Haha! Me too!

(elbows Han Wenqing)

Ye Xiu: Wipe off that suffering look, Old Han. Do you think I’m happy? This is the fault of the ballot...

Han Wenqing: Don’t drag me down.

Ye Xiu: Che. That’s my line. Don’t you dare trip in the middle of it. Many pairs of eyes will be staring hard at you.

Han Wenqing: Same to you.

Steam Bun: Boss, you can definitely do it!

Fang Rui: Good luck, good luck~

Steam Bun: Good luck, Boss!

(Crowd cheers)

Tyranny Fans: Tyranny! All the best! Tyranny! All the best!

Happy Fans: Go Happy, go! Go Happy, go!

Su Mucheng: What’s there to fight about when those two are already tied together… Do the fans still want them to fight each other while tied up?

Wei Chen: Must be a sin...

Huang Shaotian: Captain good luck good luck good luck! Zhou Zekai, don’t you dare drag our Captain down!

Sun Xiang: For all you know, it’s the other way round.

Huang Shaotian: What about it? You looking for a fight? Tonight 8pm PK in the arena! Whoever doesn’t turn up is a scaredy cat!

Sun Xiang: Fine! What’s there to be afraid of?

Ye Xiu: It’s real lively, huh. Say, Old Han, let’s start with the tied legs first. Look at Xiao Shiqin and Yunxiu discussing, (leans over to whisper) I’ve heard all their tactics.

Han Wenqing: So did I.

Ye Xiu: Bravo, Old Han. Never knew that your heart’s pretty black too.

Han Wenqing: Hn, not as black as yours.

Ye Xiu: Hah.

Li Yibo: All the groups have been announced and the team captain’s legs are all tied together. Everyone’s ready to go.

Pan Lin: I’m sure all the fans with us are as excited as we are. Let’s cut the chatter. An amazing race is about to start!

Ye Xiu: (whisper) It’s this leg.

Han Wenqing: Shut up.

(Gunshot, Crowd cheers)

Fans: Go! Go!

Pan Lin: This three-legged match demands synchronisation from both partners. And as everyone knows, all the captains are opponents.

Li Yibo: That’s right. Will they be able to overcome their enmity in such a short time and become friends?

Yu Feng: (impatient) Li Xuan, is the rope a little loose? Why do I feel like my legs are getting lighter?

Li Xuan: (panting) That’s because my leg isn’t even reaching the ground okay!?

Qui Fei: (cautiously polite) Senior Wang Jiexi, aren’t we being… a bit too cautious? We have only moved four steps...

Yu Wenzhou: Wait a moment, Cap’n Zhou, hold on! You’re going too fast, I can barely keep up… Ah… now it seems too slow...

Chu Yunxiu: (testily) Darn you, Xiao Shiqin, run slower! Mind the pace, the pace! Counting 1, 2… That’s not 1! 1 is the right leg! Right! You are using your left!

Xiao Shiqin: Sis, my left leg is your right leg!

(Fans cheering)

Li Yibo: Looks like this particular competition is of some difficulty for these long-time rivals.

Pan Lin: But the most unbelievable thing is Ye Xiu and Han Wenqing, who are in the lead right now! And they’re ahead of the current number 2, Yu Feng and Li Xuan, by almost 50m!

Li Yibo: That’s right! Speaking of which, they’re both nearing the finishing line!

Li Yibo: Go for it!

Pan Lin: They’ve passed it! That’s simply incredible! The number 1s are actually Tyranny’s Han Wenqing and Happy’s Ye Xiu, who’ve been bitter rivals for 10 years! Have they just proven that “your enemy knows you best”? This is crazy! The fans of Tyranny and Happy are also ecstatic! They’re waving the team flags enthusiastically!

Tyranny fans: Tyranny! Champion! Tyranny! Champion!

Happy fans: Happy! Champion! Happy! Champion!

(Ye Xiu bends to untie the rope)

Ye Xiu: Damn it....

Han Wenqing: (impatient) What’s taking you so long?

Ye Xiu: Fuck… Who was the one who tied the rope on us!? It’s a dead knot!

Chairman Feng: To all the participants, referees, and people involved in this event. After a long day of intense matches, we’ve come to the end of the first ever Glory Alliance Sports Meet. Each exciting moment shall be a part of our memorable journey with Glory. Regardless of winning or losing, glory is forever in our hearts. Among all the blessings we’ve received, to be able to stand here together is our greatest blessing….

(below the stage, everyone is whispering/chatting)

Su Mucheng: Hahaha~

Cheng Guo: What’s so funny, Mu Mu?

Su Mucheng: Guo Guo, see this. Pictures of Old Ye and Old Han tied together are being spread all over Weibo by fans.

Tang Rou: That looks like the Alliance’s Weibo interaction with the fans, doesn’t it?

Fang Rui: Let me see! Let me see! Oh~ The photo’s pretty good.

Wei Chen: Hey, hey, this angle is a bit too….

Steam Bun: Woah, it’s trending like crazy! Boss, you’re a super hot topic~

Huang Shaotian: What is it? What is it? I want to see too, I want to see! Let me see! Damn it, Su Mucheng! Don’t you switch it off! Hey!

(ruckus)

Ye Xiu: Eh, Old Han. Maybe we should take a selfie of ourselves and post it up.

Han Wenqing: (black face) Go away!

Chairman Feng: …..and friends, thank you everyone for your eager participation in the Glory Alliance Sports Meet. Next year we shall continue to do our best!

Huang Shaotian: Geez! It’s finally over~ Seriously, the Alliance organising such a stupid sports event. Pah! Zhou Zekai you bugger! Getting three golds for Men’s 200m, 1000m and high jump alone! Where’s the fairness in that? And that Wu Yuce, so what if he has long legs? What’s so great about that? And that Yu Feng! And that, that Bao something! I protest! The Alliance should seriously consider banning these buggy people from competing! Oh~ Right, right~ Old Ye and Old Han’s photo broke a million views! That’s definitely a headline for the next Gaming Weekly Magazine! It totally proves that what goes around comes around~ Heaven has eyes and you can’t hide~ Hahahahahaha!!!

Ye Xiu: What is Shaotian muttering to himself over there?

Han Wenqing: His skin itches [for a good thrashing.]

[END]

P.s, If you liked this, do check out another fan radio drama, 全职高手之全员闹微博配音剧 (TKA: Chaos on Weibo). Because that’s another awesome production!

And if you need a translated transcript for that (shameless plugging =P):

https://thelonglazyworm.tumblr.com/post/162012493344/

#the king's avatar #quan zhi gao shou #全职高手 #全職高手 #qzgs #fan radio drama #translation

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belletristbooks · 8 years ago

Text

After finishing taping The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Emma raced out of the Ed Sullivan Theatre and made her way through Midtown to meet Karah at the legendary Strand Bookstore for a conversation with the one and only Ariel Levy:

EMMA ROBERTS: It was interesting that you said during your conversation with Emily [Nussbaum] that The Year of Magical Thinking is the bible on grief because the last time Karah and I met up and chased after a writer at an event, it was Vanessa Redgrave and Joan Didion at St. John the Divine…Early that day, I had been at a photo shoot and they were like, "You're not going to make it to your book event," and I started crying, and I said, "I have to see Joan!" And she [Karah] was waiting for me outside, and we ran in laughing. So tonight I was at Colbert and I ran here and met Karah outside, and it was a Joan moment…

ARIEL LEVY: I just think it is the coolest, best thing in the world that you're putting your weight behind books. It just makes me so fucking happy, I can't even tell you.

EMMA ROBERTS: We literally love books. I think that's been the strongest part of our friendship. We met through mutual friends, and it was one of those things where people thought maybe we wouldn't really become that close, but we ended up becoming really close because of...

KARAH PREISS: Books.

EMMA: ... a love for reading and just wanting to learn more, read more and ... she [Karah] really imposed such a reading list on me.

ARIEL: It's such a gift to writers that you guys are like, instead of using the power of social media to sell a handbag... KARAH: Tell her. EMMA: You tell her! KARAH: We said we want to do what Kylie Jenner has done to lip kits ... EMMA: ... for books. KARAH: For books.

EMMA: Well I know you said The Year of Magical Thinking obviously influenced you, but before, even when you were a teenager, what were some books that you remember that you fell in love with, or even just ... ARIEL: When I was a teenager I read some weird things. When I was in my early twenties, or when I was in college, I was super into Grace Paley, who I still love. Grace Paley, was super important to me always. I think when I was right out of college, I was reading Jeannette Winterson…I think that may have also been when I first started reading Joan Didion, actually, like Slouching Towards Bethlehem. And also Janet Malcolm, who's now my colleague, who I worship. I think probably the first thing I read of hers would've been The Journalist and the Murderer. But my favorite Janet Malcolm book is Two Lives, about Alice B. Toklas and Gertrude Stein. When I was at Wesleyan, there was no core curriculum, and I was very committed to having a canonical education, so I took a lot of Greek mythology and Victorian literature. But then when I was out of school is when I got ... I was really into short stories. I was really into reading short stories. I particularly love American short stories. I think we're good at that. I mean, not me, but other Americans who can make things up. EMMA: I love short stories. Would you write short stories? ARIEL: I can't. I can't think of things. I can only ... EMMA: I beg to differ after reading this book, I think you can ... ARIEL: I can only think of things ...I can't make things up. EMMA: Did it ever cross your mind to maybe rework this book into a novel and not write it as a memoir, or was it ... ARIEL: I probably should've so I wouldn't have hurt people's feelings as much, but... no, I really think of myself as a nonfiction writer. I think that's what I do. I'd feel like I was fronting if I was just like, "It's a novel!" EMMA: You'd maybe slip up in press, too. ARIEL: Yeah, I can't ... I just am not, I don't have it. Liz Strout told me that the way she writes is like a character comes to her, and she just sees it in her head and then she starts writing from that character's point of view. And Zadie Smith told me not that, but something enough close to that, that I'm like, there's a thing that is being a fiction writer, and it's not what I've got. I've got a desire to see the things in front of me and write about them, and try to convince readers that that's the world. EMMA: Yeah. Well, it's a gift. You do it really well. KARAH: Very, very well.

ARIEL: How old are you guys? KARAH: I'm 27, and you're [pointing to Emma] 26 ... EMMA: I'm 19… ARIEL: Yeah, yeah, yeah. KARAH: I was just wondering, from when you were 20 up until now, how much have you grappled with domesticity versus ... your wild life?

ARIEL: A ton. A ton! ... in my twenties and my early thirties, that's all I thought about. I think I thought about all that stuff constantly, and I think that it's very much a human conflict, the fundamental human conflict between the desire for adventure and novelty and excitement versus the desire for stability and intimacy and safety. That's humanity ... But I think it's extra-complicated for women, because ... I think that men have been able to have both without much trouble for generations. And it's only recently that the world of adventure and being the protagonist in your own life is even available to us. So I think that this whole thing where people are like, "Can women have it all?" It's like, well no one can have it all, but the reason we're asking that about women is because, until recently, we didn't get to leave the bloody house! So of course we weren't out having adventures! Of course you didn't grow up reading stories, other than Pippi Longstocking ... it's always a boy. You had to learn how to project yourself into the male protagonist because it would be boring to always identify with the female sidekick. EMMA: Well, I think also it feels like it's being asked more and more now because ...the question is allowed to be asked louder, which is a good thing. ARIEL: I think that is a good thing, and I also think it's not untrue that being a mother is demanding in ways that are unique. Physically, for one thing. I mean, I think that pregnancy, breastfeeding, all the stuff that you have to do as a female animal as opposed to a male animal when you have an offspring, it's a different project, and it is ... just because I can't have children doesn't mean that you have to pick between being an adventurer and being a mother... all those women I was just talking about. Janet Malcolm, Joan Didion, many of my colleagues- ... they all have kids. They've all managed to do both. It just didn't work out for me. And that blows! That's a sad thing. And now I have so much extra maternal energy that I have an almost inappropriate reaction to younger women. Like, I'm like, "I want to raise you." I have a lot of extra maternal energy. EMMA: ... you have hands that are ... like when you were talking up onstage, I was like ... ARIEL: I have the hands of a Muppet, it's true. EMMA: No, very ... comforting.

EMMA: When did you realize the title of this… ARIEL: The initial title I had in my mind was: To the Blue Sky and Back, because it was like, "to the blue sky and back adventure," but also the hotel in Mongolia was called the Blue Sky. EMMA: I love any reference to Blue. Bluets by Maggie Nelson is ... ARIEL: Oh, it's a beautiful book. EMMA: ... the Rebecca Solnit Field Guide to Getting Lost, she talks about “the blue…” ARIEL: And Joan Didion has Blue Nights. EMMA: Blue Nights. My eye starts twitching when I think about Blue Nights, literally. ARIEL: But my editor convinced me, and I think she was right. She was like, "It sounds too dreamy..." Don't call it that. It's too dreamy." And I thought it was like, it should have a more aggressive title. EMMA: I also like it because The Rules Do Not Apply to some… that is actually a positive thing sometimes, like the rules don't apply to you, so it's kind of ... it's a little ironic at times, obviously in this [book]. ARIEL: It's both. That's what I always look for with New Yorker profiles. I'm always trying to write about women who, like Edith Windsor, or Diana Nyad who swam from Cuba to Florida when she was 64 years old, just who are like ... "I'm just not going to be constrained by society's definition of women or the expectations of my gender." So I think it's a very positive thing. I mean, I don't think we'd have many of the advances we've had. You wouldn't have gay marriage, for example, if someone hadn't been like, "No, that's a bad rule. I'm not following it." But it's also the case that once you're like, "I'm free to do anything I want," you can get into the delusion that you have the power to do everything you want and that you can control things. Your life. KARAH: Well, I was going to ask you a follow-up about visionaries being narcissists, do you think that's ... ARIEL: No. No! I don't think visionaries are narcissists, I think that it just happens to be the case that the Venn diagram of narcissism and the Venn diagram of visionaries intersects, and that they think the rules don't apply. So like Donald Trump doesn't think the rules apply to him, right? He doesn't have to tell the truth, disclose his taxes, have a press co-, he doesn't have to do anything a normal president has to do. That's bad. That's narcissism. But it's also true that Hillary Clinton thought the rules didn't apply. She was like, "I'm going to be the first woman president." So it's both a liberating, exciting, fantastic way to look at the world, and has the potential to be a perspective where you don't realize that there are limits to every life.

EMMA: I love the Lamar Van Dyke quote, you quote her in saying, where she's like, "We weren't all looking at our screens, we were actually doing stuff ..." I love that because I feel like, as much as I'm a part of social media and I like social media, and even starting this book club, social media is a huge part of it and we get that, but there is a love-hate relationship with it of when to step away and when ... ARIEL: When to be in the world and when to be ... EMMA: Exactly. So I was just wondering what your relationship is with social media and with your phone in general, and especially being a journalist… ARIEL: Well I use the recorder like you guys do a lot, so it's become important, like I always have it. EMMA: So what is your relationship with social media? ARIEL: Really, really glad you guys are helping me with it, because … I don't quite get it. EMMA: Honestly, I feel like I was so ahead of everything being a millennial, and now everyone who was a toddler is now a teenager, and so they know more than me, and now I'm the person that doesn't know anything. My sister's 16, so I'm like ... so now I'm the idiot. I was the genius, now I'm the idiot. You know how it goes. ARIEL: I know exactly. I read you say how you always like the book itself. EMMA: People make fun of me on trips because I'll bring a tote bag to the beach of all these books, and they're like, "Put it on your iPad!" and I'm like, "No, I want to see what I'm reading, I want to look at my ... I want to see it all, and I want to have my notes." Also, how many times have I gotten on a plane with one of my stupid friends whose iPad's dead, and I'm like, "Hm! I guess you're going to be bored the whole flight." That's a diss, by the way. That's my version of a diss. "Your iPad died, loser, you don't have a hard copy." ARIEL: That's tough stuff. You pack a punch.

EMMA: Anyway. Karah? KARAH: ... in the book, there's a line, I think basically where you had decided to have a child, and you said, "I decided that I no longer wanted to be ruled by wanderlust” and I don't know if this is because I'm neurotic, but I wonder, had you not been ruled by other things ... and I know maybe you were taking creative license ... but had you not been ruled by other things before that, and what are you ruled by now? As you've said, you know you're not going to have a child. What are the things that rule your life? ARIEL: The upside of having my whole life fall apart at such a speed that I was like, "The fuck is going to happen next? Is my apartment going to crumble?" I was just like, "This is getting ridiculous!" You know? The upside of that is that it left me like, "All right, I guess I'm just going to surrender to what happens." And because of that, I was able to be like, "I guess I'm going to keep emailing with this dude who is a doctor in Mongolia who lives in South Africa," and then eventually like, "All right. I guess we're in love!" Like, "All right, I guess I'm going to spend half my time riding horses in the mountains in South Africa." I didn't see that coming. So now it's like, I would say I'm a lot more open to whatever's coming my way, but also the thing that I was always ruled by was writing. That was always the A #1 priority and it still ... it's writing and ... the nice thing about my relationship with the person I'm about to marry is that he's got a lot of wanderlust too. It's not for nothing that we met in Mongolia, and we're back and forth between New York and South Africa and wherever, and it's like we can take this home that is each other on the road. My dream as a kid was always to be in a gypsy caravan, and I think you [looking at Emma] know where I got that idea. EMMA: “Emma Rose”

KARAH: I just want to say to people, I want to say to girls [grabbing The Rules Do Not Apply], I want to just be like, "Just go read this in the fucking corner and come back and talk to me." ARIEL: Well I wish you would do that. EMMA: Well we're going to. KARAH: We're going to do that. EMMA: I just want to show you something really quick. So last night I was deep ... I was watching interview after interview with you and reading all your articles just so I was prepared ... ... and then I was like Who did say you can have it all?" ARIEL: Well, who did? EMMA: [Showing Ariel phone screen] "You are not connected to the internet." That's what came up! I typed it in, I said, "Who said you can have it all?" and my browser, it said, "You are not connected to the internet!” I was like ... yeah, I was like, "That's the answer. You are not connected to internet." ARIEL: Well there it is. EMMA: Witchery.

#interview

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katdvs · 8 years ago

Photo

Lucas Friar moved back to Texas at 17, now he’s running for Mayor of Rosewood Springs so best friend Zay and little sister Gigi decide he needs a little help from a political consultant.

Riley Matthews found her calling, she found a fiancé, but she never expected to find herself here, of all places.

Cross-posted to FF.net | Soundtrack | Past Chapters

Author Note: So how about that movie date huh? I’m going to try and get one more chapter out this week, and also hopefully the one-shot for the winner of the fanfic giveaway so keep your eyes open for that.

-coolest thing I ever felt-

“So, my big brother and Riley, they were awfully cozy for two people just pretending to date, don’t you think?” Gigi is wiping down the bar now that they were closed for the night.

Zay was going over the credit card information for the evening, “That’s how they used to be when they were actually dating.”

“Do you think Dave is really an issue, a roadblock?” Gigi looked around thankful they would be done soon.

“I think Dave is a speedbump.” Zay looked up, feeling his breath hitch as he saw the way the neon lights glowed over her body, “Um, I uh think that Riley and Lucas just need to talk. Clear the air about things. Like they’re still mad at each other for different things, and they need to talk about it.”

“Riley is the one, isn’t she?”

“As in the one for your brother, yes.”

“If Dave isn’t the roadblock for Lucas and Riley, what or who is?” Gigi grabbed her purse and pulled her hair down shaking it free.

Zay closed his eyes for a moment, trying to ignore the memory of her lips on his, the night before, “Riley and Lucas are and always will be their biggest roadblock.”

“How so?” She took her keys out to unlock the front door for her and Zay to leave through before locking it while they stood on the sidewalk.

“They get scared, they run and stop talking to each other.” Zay walked her to his truck, “When they stop talking, that’s when fear and insecurity takes over. It happened when Riley thought Lucas liked Maya, it happened when you all moved back to Texas, and whatever it was that happened in Vegas as well.”

“We could always just lock them in a room together.” Gigi suggested as they got in the truck.

Zay chuckled, “I’m not so sure about that.”

“We’ll keep it as a last resort.” Gigi sighed as the engine started the local country station filled the cab with music. “Zay,” she spoke as the song ended and they were out of town.

“Yes Gigi?” He was nervous, he wasn’t sure what she was thinking about, he kept waiting for her to bring up the kiss from the night before.

“Was there ever a girl like Riley for you, I mean someone you dated in New York that you left behind?”

“No, I didn’t have much luck with the ladies until college.” He confessed, “Well I had that thing with Vanessa years ago, but still.”

“You and Vanessa, really?” Gigi cringed, “She’s like so old though.”

“She’s the same age I am.” Zay chuckled, “But I guess being a mom to three kids already probably makes her seem old to you.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Gigi remained silent the rest of the way home, when they pulled up into the driveway she looked at the house, “Hmm, both are restless, look they each have lights on.”

“Well it must be difficult to sleep after you spend the night pretending your dating the love of your life.” Zay parked the truck.

“You really think they’re the loves of each other’s lives?”

“I’ve thought it since Lucas was torn up over Riley in the eighth grade, I’ve known it since they finally got together in the ninth grade.”

Gigi stayed in her seat looking up at the two rooms with their lights on, “I wonder what that feels like.”

“You’ll know it someday Gi, when the right guy comes along.” Zay quickly got out of the truck, suddenly afraid of where this conversation was going to go.

Gigi got out, chasing after Zay, “What are you afraid of?”

He could list a lot of things he was afraid of, “Gigi, you are Lucas’ younger sister. I’ve known you basically your whole life.”

“So?”

“So, you’re a kid, you have a whole life to live.”

“And what does that make you? An old man set in his ways?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Zay went into the house, afraid to look back, knowing if he saw how much he hurt her just now, he’d give in to everything he was fighting.

Riley heard Zay and Gigi return, hoping that neither of them knocked on her door. She didn’t want to talk about why she was still awake.

Kissing Lucas, curling up to him during the movie, talking to him at the bar, it was all too easy. That terrified her.

It felt too real.

There was also this nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her to just go and knock on his door, kiss him, undress him, do everything she’d ever fantasized about doing with him, even if it took years to do everything.

She should be missing Dave, shouldn’t she?

She should be thinking about him laying next to her, about him touching her, about him kissing her with every ounce of passion possible.

But it wasn’t him who consumed her thoughts, if she could be honest with herself for just a few seconds in the depth of the night, Lucas had always consumed her romantic thoughts, fantasies, hopes, everything, even when she had other boyfriends, they all got compared to Lucas.

Even with how things ended, even with him not coming to the chapel not a single man came close to him.

She had to find closure with Lucas, it was the only way she could move on with Dave.

He was her future, he was her stability.

Then why did she get so possessive of Lucas when she saw him talking to Dixie? Why did she never feel that bubble up when Dave was with other women?

Why did Lucas Friar have this pull over her? He’d already hurt her, why was she opening herself up this way to get hurt yet again?

Because one thing she knew for sure was that Lucas would break her heart again if she didn’t protect herself.

Lucas had spent most of the night pacing his bedroom, Riley was jealous of other women. She’d released her primal need to show other women that he belonged to her.

But she was still engaged to Dave.

He’d lost count how many times he’d thrown his door open, ready to storm down the hall to go to her room, to kiss her and not holdback, to kiss her until she forgot all about Corn Chip Dave.

To make love to her until sunrise, to please her in ways he was sure no other man ever had or ever could.

But something kept stopping him.

Fear.

He was afraid he could make the move and she would reject him. How many times had Riley crushed his heart already?

Could he really open himself up to that happening again?

He flopped down on the bed, closing his eyes, begging his body to let him sleep.

To give him a few hours where his brain wasn’t fighting with his heart.

He tossed and turned. He paced around the room, opening his sock drawer, taking the ring, wondering if she would ever allow him to place it on her finger. He put it back before going over to his nightstand, pulling out his Bible, hoping maybe a passage would give him clarity.

As he opened the pages an envelope fell out. He picked it up, studying the faded lip print from a night a lifetime ago of a woman he couldn’t remember other than flashes.

He held the note, looking at the handwriting, something was comforting about it. He held it up to the light, noticing for the first time inside the envelope was another piece of paper.

He could open this, solve one mystery. He could maybe find out the name of the woman he called princess, the woman who moaned his name in a way that sent a shiver down his spine. He could remember the woman who ran her tongue over his chest, who looked up at him with brown eyes.

Brown eyes.

He hadn’t remembered that before.

He could remember her long brown hair—the same shade as Riley’s. He could remember the way her curves looked against the light from the strip glowing in the room.

He could remember her tattoo on her right hip. Small, the size of dime, pink.

Lucas sat up, that tattoo, he’d seen the same logo recently. Running his hand through his hair he looked towards the wall that separated him and Riley.

She’d had it on her t-shirt a few nights ago, her sorority.

His mind was teasing him with his desires for the woman next door, the only woman he’d ever loved. Now it was letting him think it could’ve been Riley.

God, he wished it had been Riley.

He looked at the empty space in the bed next to him, wondering what she looked like sleeping, would her hair fan out, or would it be piled on her hair in a messy bun.

He grabbed his phone, pulling up Instagram, he scrolled through years’ worth of pictures of animals and the ranch before he found it.

Riley…she’d been there, could she have been the girl?

He looked at the note again, would Riley leave him a note and not say goodbye?

“Only one way to know” he told himself as he stared at the note he’d kept for years when most men would’ve thrown it away.

His phone rang and he saw the number, “Dr. Friar” he answered, as he listened to Camilla Harrison tell him the issue her dog was having. “I’ll be there as soon as I can, don’t worry, just keep him comfortable and calm.”

He quickly changed, dropping the note back in his Bible and tucking it away for now.

#Thunder Chasing The Wind #Riley Matthews #Lucas Friar #Rucas #Rucas Fanfic #Girl Meets World #GMW Fanfic #Zay Babineaux

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sapphic-sith · 8 years ago

Note

Top 5 strong female characters (any fandom) :)

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH Don’t give me so many options. Any fandom????? Uhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay, so um, I think I know how to narrow this down. Because there are just so many strong female characters I love. But I think if i go with who I still obsess over from as early as i can remember, that will help. So the only reason they are numbered as they are is because I’m gong from earliest to most recent. Plus since I’m not sure if you meant strong in the physical sense or strong i general, i’m going with the latter:

1) Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. I have loved this woman since I was 3 years old. I remember watching her Movie Macabre from that age and thinking she was the prettiest, coolest and funniest person ever and still do to this day. What I love about her character is that she’s kind of like the more comedic and campy Buffy the Vampire Slayer in that she is a female character thriving in a genre where women are usually always victims and damsels in distress and are just there to be sexy and be the love interest for the male hero. But in all over projects, especially her 2 movies Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) and Elvira’s Haunted Hills (2002) whatever trouble she finds herself in she always takes care of it herself, even when in situations that are usually the ones the women get freed from by the male hero. Heck, even the male love interests in both films are just there to be that- the pretty hunky eye candy that Elvira swoons over (more so in the second film, at least Bob in the first movie had some more screen time and he and Elvira actually had some time to connect a little). So Elvira, thank you for being my first strong female role model, my first imaginary friend and big sister figure and the most obvious sign that i loved girls considering how obsessed I was (and still am) with you.

2) Maleficent (1959). What can I say about Disney’s most iconic villain that hasn’t been said already? She’s tall, gorgeous, magnificent, best dressed, powerful, spiteful and turns into an f-ing dragon! Eleanor Audley did an amazing job voicing the Mistress of All Evil and bringing this stunning villain to life.

3) Lily Munster. This was my all-time favorite show to watch on TV Land when I was a kid. Lily was the kind and strong-willed matriarch of The Munster household. She was supportive of everyone, the voice of reason, did her best to keep her father and husband out of trouble (or bail them out of it since Herman and Grandpa always got into some shenanigan anyway) and never thought twice about getting a job to help provide for her family in a time when women working was still very uncommon and taboo. Lily was stunning, smart, loving, fierce and one of the strongest women to enter my childhood. Plus, in being a vampire she also had super human strength. In the movie, Munster Go Home, she pushes a cart of hay (that’s at least half the size of a truck trailer) out of a road. And I also happen to share my birthday with her actress, Yvonne De Carlo.

4) Taarna. This beautiful badass is literally the poster child for the 1981 cult classic Heavy Metal. She was featured in the last short of the movie and although seen mostly as a sex symbol in geek culture, is truly a woman with so much potential to be a great character. If you can manage to look past the skimpy armor there is a potential gold mine in an awesome character. For one, Taarna never says a word but the animators did a great job at communicating her emotions through her facial expressions and body language. Because of this, I headcanon her as mute and in an animated film- that’s a great challenge to work with because it is up to the animators to communicate for her alone. Taarna is also the last of a warrior race that had made a pact to defend the people of her world. She is bound by duty to fulfill her pact and avenge the many that were slaughtered when the evil mcguffin came to her world (never said it was a perfect film). Taarna is strong of mind and body but also has a compassionate side that we see with her bird companion. I’ll be honest. If I ever become successful enough in my animation career to buy the rights to her character, I’m creating an animated series based off of her. Taarna the Taarakian is one bad ass woman I will never forget and hope to do justice for even if it is just through fan works.

5) Lady Death. This was a hard spot because there are so many awesome characters i want to mention, but I decided to use this opportunity to talk about another lesser known fave who is much more than the cheesecake she is always seen in. Don’t get me wrong, I am not here to get on a soapbox and rant about how evil and horrible men are for putting these fictional women in revealing, horribly impractical clothing. I’m just going to make a note that while I won’t deny i enjoy seeing female characters i love in sexy outfits it would also be nice to seem them practical armor and clothing when it is called for- just find the balance is all i’m asking. Okay, enough of that. Lady Death was first introduced in the Evil Ernie comics as the namesake’s goal and drive for him trying to kill everyone on earth. He’s in love with her and she wants him to rid the earth of all life cause….reasons? Okay, not a great plot. But, the creator, Brian Pulido did start Lady Death in her own series with a pretty interesting backstory. To keep this from getting too long I’m just going to include a link to her wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Death. Her original back story is what got me hooked on her character (okay, maybe her appearance got me hooked at first but the backstory made me fall in love with her as a character). She has literally been through so much Hell and has been through so many incarnations and stories it’s hard not to like at least 1 version of her. But no matter what, she will always be the undead goddess kicking ass with a sword and fighting all sorts of evil for either her own ambitions or something bigger than herself.

Sadly tumblr doesn’t have any gifs from her animated movie so have some pictures instead.

#long post #damn it now i want to read my lady Death comics again and try to hunt down all the new ones #elvira #maleficent #lily munster #taarna #lady death

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fandomsandfeminism · 8 years ago

Video

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JRR Tolkien, master of modern fantasy, held a deep, undying dislike for the Bard of England. Let's talk about why and how it impacted his writing.

Transcript:

Alright, listen friends. I am not a complicated person with complicated hobbies. If you asked someone to name 3 things I like, they would be totally in the right to list “Anime, Shakespeare, and Lord of the Rings.” So today we are going to talk about the intersection of two of these excellent things.

No… not Anime Romeo and Juliet…..though….I mean, it is a good show...t fixes some of my complaints about the original….maybe next time.

No, no, today we are going to talk about how JRR Tolkien absolutely freakin hated Shakespeare and that’s why Eowyn is a badass.

So, let’s start by talking about Tolkien. John Ronald Ruel Tolkien was born on January 3rd, 1892. The Hobbit was written in 1937, after he had served in world war 1, when Tolkien was 45. The Lord of the Rings was written in stages, the last book being released in 1949, when he was 57. So for most of his life, Tolkien was not “the guy who wrote Lord of the Rings.” Instead, for most of his adult life, Tolkien’s claim to fame was his research, translation, and annotation of Beowulf. (Yes, the Beowulf that your well meaning 12th grade English teacher will force you to read.)

You see, Tolkien was a professor of English and Literature at Oxford. Fun fact, he also worked on the Webster dictionary (specifically on words that began with W with a germanic origin. Dictionary writing is apparently very specialized.) He gave lectures and did research on ancient English literature and language as his specialty.

And let me make something clear. As a person who is academically trained in English literature, this ensures 2 things are true about Tolkien: 1. He was a huge nerd. And 2. He had Opinions.

And Tolkien hated Shakespeare. Hated him. You see, Tolkien believed that too much time was spent in English Literature departments reading and studying Shakespeare. But before you leap to agree with him, know this: It was his opinion that a well rounded student of literature should spend little to no time reading ANYTHING more modern than Chaucer. Yeah, the Canterbury Tales, Chaucer. That’s right kids, anything more modern than 1478 was hip modern dribble unworthy of serious study. (Can you imagine what Tolkien would think of modern lit classes these days? Ha.)

But more than that, Tolkien believed that fantasy inherently could not be adequately represented on stage, and that any attempt to do so was fundamentally flawed. (This is where I point out that there are several stage adaptations of Lord of the Rings, including a musical version, all of which are pretty bad and all of which Tolkien would have hated)

He also took objection to Shakespeare drawing on Greek and Anglo-Saxon inspiration for his fairies and elves, rather than what Tolkien saw as a more refined and authentic source: Norse and Celtic traditions.

Tolkien looked at Shakespeare's elves and fairies in A Midsummer Night’s Dream and felt that these corrupt, diminutive depictions of elves were horrible. They weren’t REAL elves. They didn’t act the way REAL elves should act! Like I said, the man had Opinions. Strong opinions about...elves.

And that brings us to Macbeth. Set aside Tolkien for a moment while we go into some backstory about The Scottish Play.

Macbeth is arguably Shakespeare’s bloodiest tragedy. First performed in 1606 (Well after our Tolkien approved literary cut off of the 1470s) it follows the story of a well respected general Macbeth. One day on the road he comes across a trio of witches who give him a prophecy. Invoking the greek tradition of the 3 fates and greek prophesy, this premonition is destined to be true. They tell Macbeth that he will be king.

Macbeth relays this information to his wife, Lady Macbeth who...basically bullies him into regicide and murder so he can, in fact, become King. She tells him that she’s more of a man than he is because he’s pussyfooting around multiple premeditated murders of friends and allies.

She eventually kills herself out of regret and guilt. Oops. In the midst of all this killing and mayhem, Macbeth seeks out the witches again and asks them for more prophecy. Will he remain king? Will he be deposed, as he deposed the last king?

First, they tell him to beware his rival Macduff. Second, they tell him that no man born of a woman will kill him. Third, they tell him he will be safe until the great Birnam Wood comes to the castle. He feels pretty safe, since two of these three seem pretty impossible. All men are born of women and forests don’t generally go walking around.

In the end, just as with all prophecy, these things come true. Kind of. Macduff reveals that he was born via C-section, which, apparently counts as “not being born from a woman.” And a whole bunch of soldiers use branches of the Birnam forest to disguise themselves as they march on the castle. Macbeth is killed, and thus this tragedy of lust for power and greed has its tragic end.

Now, despite your English Teacher’s most persuasive arguments, your future does not ultimately hinge on your ability to read and appreciate Macbeth. It will help you understand all the allusions in Hocus Pocus, and will probably strengthen your, ya know, general reading comprehension and cultural awareness, but ya know, you won’t die without it.

And Tolkien hated Macbeth. Specifically, he really took issue with, what he felt, was a cop out with the final 2 prophecies. He felt that the loopholes about c-section and camouflage cheated the audience, and he was not having it.

So. Lord of the Rings. Tolkien’s excuse to write entire languages and genealogical histories with a loose thread of plot to move from one intense exploration of some odd bit of lore to another. Along with satisfying his need to write a new mythology for England and be the world’s biggest linguistics nerd, Tolkien was also able to address and ultimately fix what he saw as these flaws in Macbeth.

The first is the prophecy about Birnam forest marching on the castle. Rather than have the ~bullshit~ loophole about normal everyday soldiers using branches as camouflage, Tolkien looked that plot point in the eye and declared ENTS. Living, walking, actual tree people. Screw Shakespeare and the limitations of the stage. He could actually have a forest rise up and march on a fortress if he damn well wanted to. And so he did. The ents attack Sarumon's tower in stunning fashion. The man inside the castle, corrupted by a lust for power, is defeated.

The next, and ultimately coolest, is Eowyn. Specifically Eowyn’s duel with the Witch King. Take a minute and picture that scene in Return of the King. The Witch King stands over Eowyn on the battlefield, all confidence and radiating evil, and he declares “No man can kill me!”

The Witch King is, also, Macbeth- a human king driven to acts of evil by his lust for power. In Macbeth the “no man born of a woman can kill me” is solved by...c-section apparently not counting as being born? Tolkien looked that plot point dead in the face and threw Eowyn at it. SHE is no man. She, a woman, breaks that prophecy is a much more satisfying and less bullshitty way.

So yes. That’s how Tolkien wrote one of the greatest scenes in modern fantasy just to pick a fight with William Shakespeare. Bonus fact, years later CS Lewis would similarly pick a fight with Tolkien because Tolkien had said that electric lamps had no place in fantasy. CS Lewis responded by putting a damn lamppost in the middle of Narnia just to mess with him.

In summary: Authors are petty and I love them.

So yeah. Thank you for watching this video! This channel is still really new, so I always appreciate comments and likes. I’ll be sure to see yall down in the comments. And as always, if you enjoyed listening to this queer millennial feminist with a BA in English, feel free to subscribe.

#tolkien #lord of the rings #eowyn #shakespeare #macbeth #William Shakespeare #jrr tolkien

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gethealthy18-blog · 5 years ago

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101 Fun Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/getting-healthy/getting-healthy-women/101-fun-questions-to-ask-your-boyfriend/

101 Fun Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend

Harini Natarajan Hyderabd040-395603080 July 5, 2019

The secret to a strong relationship is getting to truly know your partner. It doesn’t really matter whether your relationship is brand new or you have been together for a while. To build a deeper and more meaningful relationship with your love, ask him some fun questions to dig out the information buried deep within him. Confused about how to start off the whole thing?

First, light some candles and get some wine. As for the questions, you need not worry. We have done all the hard work for you, princess. Here is a list of 101 questions that cover almost all topics. Choose the ones that are applicable to your partner and get ready to get closer to him, both figuratively and physically! Don’t forget to have fun doing this!

101 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend For Fun

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How often have you got up to go into a room, then stood at the doorway because you forgot why you wanted to go into the room?

How often does your brain put itself on autopilot? Are you aware of it when it happens?

What names would you never give your own child? Name at least three.

What is the most relaxing thing you can get done or do for less than 500 rupees?

What is the most puke-worthy drink you have consumed? Where did it happen?

How do you waste your time? What are your guilty pleasures?

What silly things are you capable of doing that you take a lot of pride in?

If animals were as intelligent as humans, which animal would you hire as your secretary? What would you name it?

Do you think fish have necks? Explain. Can you draw a picture of a fish with a neck for me?

Who has been your strangest celebrity crush that others don’t like but you have a soft corner for? Why do you like him/her?

If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?

What has been the strangest conversation you have ever overheard? Do you remember the details?

What kind of chocolate would you use to build your dream mansion?

What would you do if a guy was interested in you and asked for your number?

If you were ice cream, which flavor would you be? Which flavor would you absolutely loathe to be?

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What is the story behind your latest Insta/ Facebook photo? Who took the picture?

Describe the worst first date you have ever been on. Why was it so awful?

If you could be any superhero, who would you choose? Why?

What crazy things would you do (and try to get away with) if you were stinking rich?

What was the last thing you Googled? Is your browser history SFW (safe for work)?

Did you ever receive a weird wrong number text or call? What did they say?

If you could name yourself, what would be the coolest name you would choose?

If you were a girl, would you date Batman or Superman? Why?

Has someone ever confessed their secrets to you while being drunk? What did they say?

If someone you hate had something on their face, would you tell them?

What is that one thing that you have never told anyone because you were embarrassed?

Do you believe in ghosts? If yes, have you ever seen one?

Is there anyone you are afraid of? Why?

Who is your favorite sibling?

What would you rather have – respect or unlimited money?

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Who among your friends are your favorites? Who do you like to spend time with the most?

What was your favorite toy as a child? What is your favorite toy now? 😉

Did you ever have a crush on anyone I know?

If you were forced to leave your house at a moment’s notice, what is the one thing you would grab to take with you?

Name the TV shows you could binge watch all day. Which one is your favorite?

What quirks does your body have? Are you embarrassed of them?

Which parent is your favorite? Why?

Do you think I look sexy in glasses? Do you think I should try a different style?

What have you always been a snob about? Do your friends give you grief about it?

Do you procrastinate? Explain.

Do you judge people too quickly? How often are you right about your judgment?

You just found two thousand rupees on the ground. What would you do?

If drugs were legal, would you try them?

What are some traits you like about yourself?

If you could change three things about your life, what would they be?

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What are the three things that you wouldn’t change about your life, no matter what?

What is your favorite drink and why?

If you were forced to eat the same food for a month, what would you choose?

Where would you choose to live if work and money were not a factor?

Do you listen to your mind or heart when making important decisions?

What is the worst yet most expensive purchase you have ever made?

Who was your role model as a kid? Why did you like him/her?

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received? Who gave it to you?

What is your biggest pet peeve?

If your life was a movie, what would you name it?

What is that one thing on your bucket list you freak out about and keep pushing back?

If money was not a factor, would you leave your job and travel the world? Where would you go?

If you had to describe yourself in three words, which ones would you choose?

Do you hate any of your personality traits? Why?

What are you truly obsessed about? Are you ashamed of it?

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How often do you argue in the comments section with people on the internet?

What is the funniest screw-up you have ever seen on Facebook or Instagram?

Do you believe in soulmates? Explain.

What is that one difference between the both of us that you absolutely adore?

What is that one similarity between both of us that you absolutely love?

Are you scared to love someone wholeheartedly? If yes, why?

Where is your favorite place to hang out with me? Why?

Is there any song that makes you think about me?

Was it love at first sight for us? Can you describe the exact “a-ha!” moment you realized you have fallen for me?

If you had to give me a new nickname/pet name, what would you like to call me?

Which trait of my personality drew you towards me?

Were you nervous when we had our first kiss? Were you expecting it to happen?

If (God forbid) our relationship came to an end, what is the one thing you would miss about me the most?

What is the one thing you would like to change about our relationship?

Who do you think is the vulnerable one in our relationship?

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Do you like watching romantic movies? What is the most romantic movie you have ever watched?

What is your favorite way of receiving affection?

Do you prefer big weddings or small ones?

What is your favorite way of showing affection?

What is the sexiest fantasy you have ever had about the both of us?

Do you ever want to settle down and have children? If yes, how many?

In what ways do you think we both have changed since we first got into this relationship?

What about both of us is exactly the same since we first got into this relationship?

What does love mean in your dictionary? Explain.

What do you visualize when you are kissing me?

Would you be embarrassed to hold my hand in public?

Do you like romantic sh*t like kissing on the neck, cuddling, and PDA?

Did you ever think about kissing me before we had our actual first kiss?

Which part of my body do you like the most? Explain why.

Guess which part of your body I like the most.

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Do you ever want to go skinny dipping with me? Would you be scared of getting caught?

Would you ever take a shower or bath with me? Would you be shy?

Do you think I am too clingy?

Do you ever just think about me when I am not with you?

What are the little things that remind you of me?

Do you think there is such a thing as being too much in love? Have you ever felt that about anyone?

What was your first impression of me when you saw me for the first time? Were you attracted to me?

If I was sad, how would you cheer me up?

Do you want a future with me? Why?

What is the one quirky thing about me that you adore?

Did you ever think that I looked completely crazy in an outfit of mine? If yes, which one?

Asking your boyfriend these questions will not only start a fun conversation but also help you get to know him better. For a relationship to stay passionate and last long, you need to know your partner inside out. There will be no bonding if you are not on the same wavelength.

But, men are known to be a bit aloof and closed off when it comes to communicating their feelings. Most of them use one-word answers, making it very difficult to keep the dialogue going. It can really feel like getting your teeth pulled! This method of asking questions will help you both talk about a particular subject in depth.

You need more than just small talk if you want your bae to come out of his shell, especially if he is the shy type. You also need to be ready to ask lots of follow-up questions as well. Every guy is unique, so some of the questions may not work for your guy. Find the ones that work for you both and get the conversation going! Have fun!

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Source: https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/fun-questions-to-ask-your-boyfriend/

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