#wolfsatr microfics

[emmawithtwoms]

Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom

@wolfstarmicrofic day 30 -1000 words

“Tell me again, why are we doing this here?” 

Remus was watching his friends brew some kind of potion, all three hunched over a cauldron.

“Because, dear Moony, nobody will ever come looking for us here.” 

James answered him, and Remus genuinely thought that all the bulgers he took in head were starting to affect him. 

“They will not look for us, in the middle of the day, openly in a bathroom, just in front of the entrance… Prongs are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

James rolled his eyes, Sirius snickered and Peter lifted his head from the lizard livers he was chopping. 

“Remus.. This is Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, nobody will come in here…”

Peter looked around in distress while saying that.

“Who?” 

When Remus asked that, Peter’s blood drained from his face, while James snickered and Sirius groaned in annoyance.

“Please tell me she didn’t hear you…” 

“I AM MOANING MYRTLE”

Remus screeched when the ghost of a girl yelled from the stall behind him.

“Obviously, I wouldn't expect you to know me. Who would ever care about the annoying, sad, ugly moaning Myrtle…” 

The ghost rambled on and placed herself on the windowstill.

“Moony, did you really not know her? Everybody knows this is her bathroom.”

Sirius said while mixing the chopped livers in the potion.

“Well I’m sorry for not being familiar with the girls’ bathrooms guys…” 

“Ohhhh, so you’re a gentleman, huh? We should thank you for not creeping around in the girls’ bathroom, huh? I should just banish you from here.” 

“Oh come on, Myr, he didn’t mean it like that, you know it. Don’t be so mean”

Myr?? Since when was Sirius friends with the ghost?

“Oh, not you, Sirius darling, I wouldn’t dream of banishing you from here… In fact, you can come whenever you want, even after your death, we could share my stall”

WHAT?? Remus could believe what he was seeing. 

That’s not true: Sirius flirting with someone to get what he wants is a daily occurrence. But still, a ghost inviting his boyfriend to share their haunting place???

“Well, thank you Myrtle, but I need my friends to finish this potion, I can’t do it alone, you see? So could you please forgive Remus? He doesn’t know what he’s saying” 

“Oh, so he’s daft?” 

“You could say that…” 

And Sirius had the audacity to wink after that. Oh he was so gonna pay for it. 

Remus got closer to his boyfriend, watching the potion from over his shoulder.

“So, love, what exactly is the potion you’re brewing in this beautiful bathroom?” 

Sirius shot him a glare, but did not say anything about the pet name. He clearly understood what Remus was doing. 

“We’re brewing a hallucinating potion to give to the Slytherins, they’re all gonna believe that they’re Dragons for a day. Did you bring the pixie dust?” 

“Yes, I did, darling.” 

Remus handed him a small vial, and Sirius poured it carefully in the cauldron. 

“You know, you are so good at potions, you should consider taking it to a NEWT level” 

Moony started playing with a loose strand of hair that fell from the bun Sirius tied them on. 

“Yeah, well, if I wanna be a curse breaker I have to get my potion’s NEWT, so…” 

“Oh, right, right, you’re gonna be a curse breaker, that’s so brave of you, dear.” 

James and Peter were muffling their giggles with their hands while watching Remus blatantly flirt with his boyfriend and Myrtle narrowing her eyes at them. 

“Remus, I know what you are doing, stop it.” 

“But baby, I’m not doing anything…” 

Sirius could feel the werewolf’s hands sliding on his waist, just the way he liked it, and placing his chin on his shoulder, so that his mouth was at Padfoot's ear level.  

“Moons, stop it, you’re gonna get us in trouble with Myrtle.” 

“Well, maybe next time you shouldn’t flirt with a ghost in front of your boyfriend, honey.” 

“BOYFRIEND??? YOU ARE HIS BOYFRIEND????” 

Myrtle was now livid with rage, she flew to them, floating right in front of their faces. 

“Oh yeah, didn’t Padfoot tell you? We’ve been together for three months.”

James and Peter gave up trying to muffle their laughter, and they were now holding their stomachs looking at the scene that was unravelling in front of them. 

“THREE MONTHS?? HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU LITTLE SCARRED LOSER TAUNT MY SIRIUS THAT WAY! YOU.. YOU… HOMEWRECKER!!”

“Wait, what? Homewrecker?” 

It was not going as planned.

“GET OUT!” 

Myrtle lifted her arm, and a menacing grumbling came from the stall behind Remus. Suddenly, gallons and gallons of water were being poured on his head, drenching him from head to toe, somehow not touching Sirius. 

“Myrtle, darling, could you please not drown my boyfriend? I quite like him alive.” 

The water stopped and Remus started sputtering. 

“But Sirius, dear, he's getting between us!”

“I know Myrtle, but sadly I like him quite a lot, so could you forgive him? I am very happy with him. And you want me to be happy and smiling when you see me, right? Well, keeping Remus alive is the way to keep me smiling and funny.”

“Oh… ok Sirius. But if you ever became a ghost-”

“Then I promise you I will come share your toilet stall, Black’s word.” 

“Mh. Then I guess the loser can stay alive. For now…” 

“Thank you Myrtle, you’re a peach” 

And with a last giggle, the ghost went back to her toilet. 

“See? This is why you should have stopped, darling.” 

Remus, who was now shivering, still wet and dripping, flipped him off. 

“Oh Merlin, Wormy, we should have brought a camera!That was the funniest thing I have ever seen!”

James was still wheezing between laughter, and Wormtail could still not speak, trying to regain his breath.

“Come on guys, don’t taunt my darling lover this way, he was just a bit jealous. Right baby?”

“Fuck off. All of you.”

A.N: well, this wraps up November's Microfics!!!! Wooo hoooo!!! I hope you guys had fun reading them just as much as I had writing them. Can't wait for December Prompts!!!