I apologize for another love booster XD. What would happen if Estinien ate a pumpkin cookie laced with Love booster. I am just curious how a beautiful witch like Agni would handle a very very very horny ghost
Esme is with Mum, which means...we get to be out for as long as we like! Agnes squealed as she sipped some apple cider. She and Estinien came to the All Saints' Wake Party in Gridania. More like I dragged him here, and he insisted on wearing the ghost costume. Oh love, everyone will know it's you. Most adorable, sexiest, grumpiest ghost ever! She was taken out of her thoughts by said ghost nearly running into her.
"Agi! My angel! My...witch." The ghost growled.
"Love! Please be careful! You almost knocked me and my cider over." She laughed. Don't want apple cider on my tits!
"Forgive me, my sweet. I simply...love you so very much." Did his voice get lower? Oh dear, is it ghost dragon time? "You see, my pretty, I've been bewitched, charmed by the most beautiful witch on the star." A ghost hand grabbed Agnes's behind and squeezed. "And you, my witchy wife, are the only cure." He squeeezd her ass again, more forcefully. "Agi, you are sexiest witch to ever exist. And the sweetest..."
There is no fucking way an alchemist from Radz-at-Han came here right? Right? RIGHT? "Love, did you eat or drink anything?"
The ghost paused its praises and sighed. "A pumpkin cookie not worth mentioning. You are the far superior--"
Out of nowhere, Agnes's staff appeared, glowing white, and she slammed it on the ground. Partygoers stared at the couple. "ALRIGHT, WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS IS AN ALCHEMIST FROM RADZ-AT-HAN WHO BAKED SOME SHIT LOVE POTION PUMPKIN COOKIES?"
An au'ra in a costume resembling one of the Three Sisters raised her hand. "Mrs. Agi! Twas just a simple experiment--"
"WELL HOW'S THIS FOR A FUCKING EXPERIMENT?!!?!?" Preparing to cast Holy III, a white light enveloped Agnes, while partygoers slowly backed away.
Not the ghost though.
"My sweet pretty girl there's no need--"
"SHUT UP, ESTINIEN!" Agnes screamed shrilly. "YOU CAN FUCK ME LATER. YOUR WIFE IS ABOUT TO HOLY AN ALCHEMIST TO THE NEXT BLOODY DIMENSION!"
While Agnes was trying (and failing) to chase the alchemist, casting Glare, Dia, and Holy, a trio of ghosts of varying sizes watched the spectacle with great amusement.
"Oh dear, Agi is certainly not someone to anger." The lalafellan ghost sighed. "Has she always had this much of a temper?"
The hyur-sized ghost shook its head. "Nay. Even as a trainee conjurer, Agi has usually kept a level head."
The tallest ghost laughed. "Any child of Vylbrand who doesn't the honor...or sanity of their loved is a fool and coward. Aye, that's her roots surfacing. Hurricane Agi comin' in!"
Another large ghost, appearing as if it only had one arm, joined the group. "The only time I saw her that angry was after one of her Flames squadron insulted Ser Estinien after Pagl'than. She went positively bonkers! Twas a hilarious sight, I'll not lie."
An elezen ghost also joined the group, chuckling, drink in hand. "If you think that's bad, you should've seen what she did to my father and the Heavensward. Obliterated from this earth. How does the saying go? 'Beware the nice ones?' I adore Agnes, but I wouldn't want to be on her 'shit list' as she calls it."
The five ghosts nodded and continued to watch, all greatly amused.
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FFXIV Write 2021 #19: Freebie - Wagers Due
((An overdue post from me; I used a Free Day to finish off this year-old draft. Silliness abounds. Post 5.3, Pre-5.4. Just imagine everyone got together in Ul’dah for a “Welcome Home” meeting. Revised 10/21/21. Now on Ao3.))
“Well, now that’s out of the way,” Merlwyb said with a stretch. “I must indulge my curiosity.”
“Oh no,” Kan-E said, eyeing the roegadyn.
“On which point, Admiral?” Alphinaud asked.
The Scions sat on one side of the large table in the Sultana’s dining hall, the leaders of the Alliance sitting on the other. Lyse and Pipin had joined them, the Marshal at the Sultana’s right hand, Lyse at the end of the table by Raubahn. Lucia hovered in the background, conferring with Kan-E’s guard even while the First Commander kept a vigilant eye on Aymeric. Lord Hien and Yugiri were likewise present, ostensibly as representation of the Eastern Alliance, but they had rushed to Eorzea via teleport to welcome home the Scions as well.
“Merlwyb,” Raubahn groaned. “You could wait until after we’ve had a few drinks, and when some have wandered off.”
She shrugged, giving him a mischievous grin. “I simply wish to learn who won the wagers. Surely Y’shtola can at least tell us that much.”
There was a pause, Nanamo covering her face with her hands—in embarrassment, laughter, or both, it was hard to say. Aymeric and Hien looked bewildered, as did many of the Scions.
Y’shtola thought for a long moment, then straightened. “Ah, yes. Apologies, it has been a few years for me.” She sipped her tea, trying to cover her own grin.
“What bets did you keep for them now?” Thancred asked.
Y’shtola smirked at him before shifting her attention back to the leaders, her tail flicking dangerously. The other Scions were just as puzzled, though dawning realization was coming to Alisaie and Urianger. Lyse too, looked between the leaders and the Scions and seemed to understand. “Uh, can I be excused? Aeryn and I have some catching up to do…”
“You’re in on this too, Commander, don’t forget,” Merlwyb said, a finger wagging, her sharkish grin sharper. Lyse cringed and sank lower in her seat.
“Though indeed, certain people should be allowed to leave,” Lucia said almost offhand from behind Aymeric’s chair, leaving the Lord Speaker to wonder what he was missing, yet somehow unsurprised his second in command was in on it.
Pipin sighed. “May as well get on with it,” he said with the resignation of a man facing the gallows. Next to him, Nanamo’s shoulders were shaking; Her Grace was definitely laughing behind her hands.
Y’shtola set down her teacup. “Of course, none of us could have foreseen these circumstances, let alone the variable time between worlds. However, if I have to declare a winner, then I must say it would be our own G’raha Tia.”
A round of disappointed sounds broke from the assembled leaders and their seconds, while G’raha joined the few others in blinking confusion. Hien peered at him. “Then you know what this is about?”
G’raha looked around the chamber, noticing where a good deal of the attention was pointed—and not at him.
Thancred seemed to catch on now, his scowl deepening. “Oh for the love of—“
“When did G’raha get in on this?!” Alisaie demanded.
“While he was yet the Crystal Exarch, of course,” Y’shtola said smoothly. “Though he had the advantage of knowing Ryne.”
Thancred’s forehead thunked on the table. “Urianger? Kill me.”
“I do believe there would be objections to such an action,” Urianger replied, patting his friend’s back.
“…Ooohhhh,” G’raha said, his tail puffing and lashing, ears flattening. “I uh, yes, now I recall…I mean, I never meant it seriously after all…”
Aeryn raised her hand. “I’m lost?”
Merlwyb cackled, Kan-E giving the Admiral a glower. Nanamo was no longer hiding her own laughter, though Pipin had the grace to look sympathetic. But for a twitch at the corner of her lip, Lucia was a stone behind a still-bewildered Aymeric. Hien was in a state of amused confusion while Yugiri eye-rolled and shook her head. Raubahn sighed as Lyse cleared her throat. “Soooo, there’s been a bit of a wager going on, for a while now…”
“By whom, and how exactly, would your and Thancred’s ongoing affair be made public knowledge,” Y’shtola said, taking another sip of her tea.
Aeryn stared, her face immediately turning red.
“You really weren’t that secretive about it,” Alisaie pointed out. “I even told you before I was Called to Norvrandt!”
“I didn’t think you were serious!” Aeryn hissed.
Everyone stilled for a moment, with only G’raha murmuring a concerned “wicked white” as his wide crimson eyes looked between Thancred (who had turned his head, still on the table, to glare at the former Exarch) and Aeryn.
Aeryn sighed, her blush creeping up her ears. “…So how much does he win for our girl telling the whole damned Crystarium?” she asked as she covered her burning face.
Raubahn unsuccessfully hid a snort of laughter.
Y’shtola smirked. “Enough that Tataru shall be pleased to help sort him out.”
“Oh this isn’t fair,” Kan-E pointed out. “The terms—“
“Were only by who and how their relationship would be made public knowledge, there was naught about the where. And as keeper of the agreements, ‘tis my judgment this counts.” Y’shtola said evenly.
“That seems rather pedantic,” Lucia said, crossing her arms.
“It’s Y’shtola,” Lyse replied glumly. “I guess from now on we specify ‘in Eorzea’. Or ‘in Doma’ for that matter,” she said, looking at Hien and Yugiri.
Hien shook his head. “You Eorzeans certainly have some strange customs.” He couldn’t help laughing along, however. Yugiri only sighed and made a note, mumbling something about what Gosetsu owed when next they saw the old samurai.
Aeryn rubbed her forehead. “I love my friends, I love my friends,” she muttered, reminding herself. “Can my personal life not be the subject of these bets going forward?”
“That is a useless request,” Thancred replied as he sat back up. “Those three troublemakers—” he gestured at Kan-E, Merlwyb, and Raubahn, who all scoffed at him. “—are far too easily amused. And have set the example for Her Impetuousness from the beginning.” Thancred turned a baleful eye to Nanamo, who was wiping her eyes, her giggle fit finally under control.
“You haven’t called me that in some time,” she pointed out, smiling sweetly. “Here I thought I’d outgrown that nickname.”
“Not if you now take part in such wagers, Your Grace,” Thancred answered, unable to keep a bit of fondness from his voice.
“I suppose there’s naught but to pay up,” Lucia said. “Honestly, I thought one of the twins would slip sooner.” Aymeric still seemed mostly bemused as he watched Lucia take out her coin purse, the Lord Commander covering his growing grin with his teacup.
Alphinaud had himself gone from confused to cautious amusement, well aware he was sitting next to Aeryn. “Unfortunately Commander, I was one of those who had to have it spelled out for me,” Alphinaud replied good-naturedly. “Alisaie didn’t let me hear the end of that for a sennight.”
“For being so brilliant, you are so obtuse about so many things,” his twin said.
“Yes well, you were told directly—“
“Truly though,” Kan-E said gently as they all tuned out the twins’ bickering. “We’re all quite happy for you. Both of you.”
Aeryn’s face was still only a few shades off from her coat, but she nodded and smiled tightly to Kan-E. Thancred sighed and pushed himself up from the table. “If that is the case, Seedseer, then none will object if I escort my lady away from you degenerates and your terrible gambling addiction,” he teased, offering Aeryn a hand. “Shall we?”
“Oh, but I really wanted to spend time—” Lyse began, pouting.
“Later, Lyse,” Aeryn promised. “When I don’t feel like I’ve spent a bell standing next to Ifrit.” She took Thancred’s hand–and obviously had to struggle to not outpace him, let alone outright dash out of the dining hall.
Nanamo started laughing again. “Please, Your Grace,” Pipin begged. It was a losing battle for the young Marshal, as the rest of the table–including Pipin–caught the Sultana’s infectious laughter, even the twins pausing their banter to giggle at their friends’ expense.
“You’re all terrible,” G’raha said fondly, shaking his head. “Assuming I live past the morrow…how much did I win?”
——-
In the halls of the palace, a Sultansworn guard investigated a strange sound, only to find two Scions–one of them the familiar and frustrating bard, the other the Warrior of Light–leaning on a wall in embarrassed laughter and blabbering something about the city leaders between giggles.
The young paladin turned on his heel and walked away, deciding this was well above his paygrade.
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