#woke up in a cold sweat thinking abt this

[buk0wskis]

ponytail cole save me

[floralcrematorium]

i open CSP

miss ukraine only needs to be rendered,,, and i already started,,,

i close CSP and get in bed.

tomorrow,,,,,

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

im literally being haunted by the nightmare i had last night i dont even remember all of it anymore its just 2 images burned into my brain i have to die rn this is genuinely awful

[habibisagi]

missing bg3 so bad...... feel like romancing karlach.........

[benetnvsch]

Attention everyone:

Kubokai Kunikidazai

That is all

[aengelren]

Was working and felt blood ooze down my thighs, realized I got my period and was surrounded by l male costumers and male co workers only so I had to sit like that for half an hour until a female coworker started her shift

[helianthologies]

i need to find that scorpion and the frog poem again. for mental health reasons

[greededling]

i love u laios touden.......

[walking-fnaf-encyclopedia]

i love flashlight duo as much as everyone else but like….. would evan and cassie not be absolutely incredibly good friends?

[bionic-penis]

Also sorry for the mass postings after midnight these days I'm back on my meds after not being on them for four months

[morverenmaybewrites]

wait r we allowed to send these in for characters u write for? :o

cuz i’m curious abt this one “What freaks them out the most in a relationship?” for jason

Yes, please do!

"What freaks them out most in a relationship?"| Jason Todd

Honestly, I think Jason Todd is afraid to love again, simply because of the way he loves. He tends to love wholeheartedly, without reservation, often to the point of self-destruction.

Remember that this is the man who endured at least six months worth of torture just so he wouldn't betray his father. Not a lot of people are capable of that sort of loyalty. 

To add insult to injury, it's very likely that he never got to experience any sort of positive reinforcement when it comes to loving a person.

In my Arkham fanfics, Jason's father was an abusive drunk and his mother was a junkie. While he learned to avoid his father, I'd like to think that he did hold some sort of love for his mother. He tried, in his own way, to take care of her, keep her safe.

He'd put a blanket over her when she was lost in her heroine-dreams, he'd wipe the drool from the side of her mouth, he'd leave stolen food next to her sweat-stained mattress for when she woke up. And all it ever got Jason, I imagine, was an absent-minded sort of affection. Perhaps she'd give him a vague smile, her eyes bloodshot and glassy, as if she wasn’t really seeing him, perhaps she'd ruffle his hair.

And for a long time, he'd think that was love.

Something rare, something small, but something that kept him warm all the same (for East End was a cold place), and he'd sip it like rainwater between his cupped palms, because it was all he'd ever known.

But then he gets adopted, and suddenly his perspective changes. 

Love, he realizes, can be patient. It can be his father Bruce, who somehow never got angry at him during those early days, when hope had warmed the inside of his chest like a swallowed star.

Love can be easy, he learns. It can be something as simple as Alfred, waiting up for him after a long rainy night, bringing him towels that were somehow always warm. It can be warm soup on the days that he woke up with a sore throat and a fever burning through his skin (and even to this day, he marvels at the idea that in Wayne Manor, food can come so easily--without stealing, without a fight).

But, he'll also tragically learn (or so he thinks) that love has to be earned.

I've always had this idea (and I stand by it) that Bruce did love his kids, deeply. But because of his own issues, he couldn’t love them in a way that they needed to be loved (and isn’t that true of most parents?).

It is the way Bruce never smiled at him when he was Robin. 

It is long nights of training just for a hint of his father’s approval. 

It is the constant comparison to another son, one who is faster, smarter, and better in every way. 

It is the way he thinks–and becomes terrified–that if he doesn’t earn his place in Wayne Manor, if he doesn’t earn his father’s love, he will be back in that cold place in East End where nothing can ever keep him warm again. 

And then Joker happens.

And then Joker happens. 

And no matter how strong he tried to be, how silent, no matter how much he tried to endure. 

He breaks (clean in two, a crack so wide it will never heal, you can trace the fractured seam of him and find the exact place where his heart was broken). 

Even worse, Batman breaks: he leaves Jason for dead (or so he thinks).

And a part of him will always think: is it enough? Was I not enough? 

Was it not enough to endure? To stay silent? To keep his father’s secrets?

Had Jason somehow, through some fault in his won, not done enough to earn being loved, being saved?

(Is he always going to be that small child in East End, and all he will ever know of it are vague smiles through bloodshot, glassy eyes? Was this his punishment for hoping for more? He can drink and drink and it will never be enough, the rainwater will always slip through his palms). 

And then there’s you. 

And at first he thinks it’s easy (as easy as warm soup on days when he’s feeling sick, as easy as a towel after a night in the rain), because you are brave and reckless and you are quite pretty when you smile. And it has been so long since he’s had a friend. 

It’s easy because you’re easy to be with: you read into his silences, you calm him down when he falters and you are braver than he gives you credit for (and there are days when he wishes that you are less brave). 

It is easy until one day, Jason realizes what’s happening and the first thing he thinks is that he can’t go through this again. 

He cannot be that child in East End, who follows his mother for crumbs of her affection like a dog starving for scraps.

He cannot be the boy in the Batcave, practicing over and over just so he’ll finally get to see his father’s smile

He cannot be Robin in Arkham Asylum, with a bullet hole in his chest and a brand burning on his face

And yet, and yet, Jason does not know any other way to love. 

He does not know of any other way it does not end in tragedy (and hurt and pain and betrayal). 

Oh, he is terrified. He thinks he fears you more than any other living thing in Gotham. 

To love you, he thinks, is to give you the chance to destroy him all over again. 

And he can’t, he can’t go through that again. 

(But oh, there are days Jason thinks you will be worth it.). 

[moviecritc]

second best ⋆ max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x teammate!reader

summary: max realizes that your situationship isn't going anywhere, so he decides to start a pr relationship for his own public image

word count: 1K

warnings: angst, hurt without comfort

a/n: this turned out amazing actually, i'm very proud of it <3 yk i loveee to write abt this blond dutch

masterlist | wattpad | letterboxd

“I think it's better if we stop seeing each other.”

Y/N frowned slightly. She was under Max's arm, lying on the bed in the hotel in Imola.

“We’re on the same team, Maxie. We see each other all the time,” she said, completely oblivious to what Max was saying. She even smiled a little.

“I mean this,” Max sat up, forcing her to do the same. He swallowed a bit. “I think we should stop sleeping together.”

Y/N pressed her lips together and wiped the trace of sweat from her forehead. “Oh,” was all she could articulate as she chewed over that sentence. “Why?”

“For our careers,” he said immediately, as if he had it premeditated. “There are already a lot of rumors, if this got out…”

“What?” That didn’t make any sense. “We've been sleeping together for over a year, and now all of a sudden you're worried about rumors. Don’t bullshit me, Max. What the hell is wrong with you?” Y/N felt around the edge of the bed, searching for her underwear.

“I'm telling you, this is affecting our careers.”

Y/N clicked her tongue and stood up, finishing getting dressed. “Bullshit, Max. When you want to tell me what's really going on, let me know.”

Y/N left the room, slamming the door. Max leaned back, knowing that Y/N was right. It wasn’t about their careers, but about the pressure. His father and the rest of the team were pressuring him to have a relationship with a model, and YN was an obstacle in that equation.

Max never explained anything to her. They stopped seeing each other outside of work environments and even while working, they avoided each other as much as possible. Y/N refused to feel hurt. It wasn’t a breakup because there was nothing to break. In the end, they were just two teammates with too much sexual tension to satisfy. Even if that tension lasted a year and a half, three vacations together, a Christmas dinner, and countless private dates.

Y/N was determined to move on, focusing on her job, fighting for the title, and maybe—just maybe—accepting that date with Carlos at the end of the season.

But Max had other ideas, because two weeks after the breakup, the pages were on fire because finally, someone had conquered the cold heart of Max Verstappen. He and a woman nine years older had been seen dining and kissing in Monaco.

She was surprised, that was the last thing she expected from Max. Nine years older than him. Y/N couldn't help but dig a little, stalking her profile and seeing how pretty she was. That really hurt, had it meant so little to him?

Y/N flew to Monaco alone when she used to go in Max's private jet. From then on, she realized how much Max was in her routine. Arriving at her apartment, she found it cold with the plants dried up; she hardly had any clothes there. She knew she’d have to write to Max to get her things back, but she delayed it as long as possible—which wasn’t long. Y/N wrote to her friends to see if they wanted to go out, but no one responded; she hadn't written to them in over four months.

She spent that night alone at home, looking at her phone every now and then without expecting any messages. She found herself drinking and then went out for a walk, desperate to feel something. The next morning, photos of her were out, looking horrible with traces of mascara under her eyes. She also woke up to a simple message from Max:

Can we meet?

They agreed to meet at her apartment, Y/N knew the way almost with her eyes closed.

“Good morning,” said Max. He looked as usual, shorts and a t-shirt, a bit of gel in his hair, and clean-shaven.

“Hello,” Y/N said, clearing her throat. She stood still at the door until Max motioned for her to come in.

“Come in, please,” he said calmly. She nodded and entered, looking for traces of that woman, though the apartment still smelled of her perfume.

“Is she not here?” she asked, turning on her heels to look at him.

“No. That's what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “You want to talk to me about your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

She let out a laugh, the same thing she had told her friends at a dinner while he had a hand almost reaching her inner thigh.

“You never have girlfriends, do you?”

“Y/N, it’s not what you think.”

She crossed her arms. “You know what I think? I think you’re a hypocrite. A damn hypocrite who, because I didn’t suit him, found someone easier.”

Max approached Y/N. “It’s PR, they forced me.”

“They forced you?” she let out a painful laugh. “Did they force you before or after ending things with us?”

Max stayed silent. They had pressured him, but the final decision had been his. He couldn’t find a way to explain himself. That silence meant everything to Y/N.

“You're pathetic. Totally pathetic.”

“Y/N, I’m sor-” he took half a step towards her but backed off immediately.

“Bullshit,” Y/N exploded. “Do you think apologizing is enough? You treated me like a fucking toy, damn it.”

“I didn't… I never wanted to hurt you,” Max choked on his words.

“But neither did you want to treat me well.”

Max stayed silent, feeling like the stupidest man on earth. He wanted to shout that she was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time while kissing her until he ran out of breath. But he said nothing. Y/N looked away with a long sigh.

“I’m going to collect my clothes,” she said, clearly disappointed in her voice. She hoped that Max would follow her, not let her pack her things and beg her to stay. That he’d tell her she was worthy of love.

Max waited, sitting on his couch, running his hands over his face, searching for the words.

Y/N came out of the room and walked past the living room, intending to leave without saying goodbye.

“I'll break up with Kelly,” Max stood up, stopping her with his words.

“Do you think that will help? You’ll still hide me as if you’re ashamed.”

“Y/N…” He couldn’t find the words.

“No. I'm leaving. I'm tired. Of you and all your crap.”

[buuberry00]

haii can i request an angst abt Luka who still gets nightmares and cant stop thinking about readers death after they died in alien stage while competing against him ? like he keeps wake up in cold sweat after having dreams about the time when reader and luka competed against eachother over and over again , and it messes up his sleeping schedule , slowly drives him insane and cause him to hallucinate about reader . hope your doing ok btw ! !

hi hi!! yes, ofc, i LOVE this idea!! so sorry for the wait, too!! ᯓ★

tw: hallucinations, PTSD, self-deprecation, nightmares, mentions of abuse, mental health-related issues + mentions of death/gore!

pls take care of yourselves!! <3

ᯓ★

It should've been him.

That day, when the two of you competed and he acted like it was just another performance; the endless flirting, lingering touches, the fact that he nearly kissed you and you looked like you wanted him to.

Then the gunshot. The alien audience who roared and watched with amusement as you fell to the floor, choking on your own blood. He'd never felt such pain before, nothing even close to it.

Luka remembered the way he ran to you, threw all caution to the wind and caught you in his arms. Who cares if his owner would've probably beat the shit out of him for falling out of character? Who cares if he lost ratings and became uninteresting to the fans?

All Luka cared about was you. His will to live and to fight, dying in his arms.

He could never forget it - your wide eyes and the way your breathing had changed into something so erratic and uncontrollable. Luka was scared, terrified of losing you that he hadn't even realized how much he cried that day.

His purple-tipped fingers intertwined with yours - not in the way he'd always wanted - but instead to help stop the bleeding. The way he whispered reassurances into your ear - not the way he dreamed - but to comfort you as you fell into Death's embrace.

Luka would sure as hell never forget the way the light left your eyes and the way your skin, so warm and soft, grew cold and red with blood.

It took the guards a full day to separate him from your corpse. It took him at least a week to eat something, and months to get him to shower. How could he? How could he shower and wash off your touch?

Luka, who dreamed of your dead face, woke up drenched in sweat. The shadows in his room seemed to mock him, and even as he rubbed his eyes and took deep breaths, the shadows still mocked him.

Was it you? Coming back to haunt him? Was this your way of coming back to him, not in the way he hoped?

Luka normally would pace around the room or sit by the small window for hours, rereading all the little notes you'd leave him or holding your shirt close to his chest.

'Luka,

My life, my glory, my love.

I trace your name through midnight skies, A silent wish where starlight lies. Though time and space may hold us far, My heart still knows just where you are.

Each moment aches—a sweet, slow burn, For every day you don’t return. But love like mine, it doesn’t fade, It lingers strong, though plans are swayed.

If I could hold you, just one night, I’d steal the world to make it right. But till that dream and dawn align, Know all I am is only thine.

yours, y/n'

Luka had completely abandoned the idea of showering, or sleeping, or eating. What if you came back and strangled him while he showered, or stared him down while he attempted to sleep, or poison him while he ate? Would he let you, or would he hide away?

It should've been him, a thousand times over just to bring you back.

ᯓ★

i have a love-hate relationship with angst <3

-venus

[casses-trenchcoat]

I literally just woke up in a cold sweat my first thought being spn. Actually i was thinking abt it in my sleep. Nothing specific just. Like all the characters were racing through my mind and then when i started doing things and even half an hour later theyre still constantly in the back of my head LEAVE ME ALONE!! WHEN A HYPERFIXATION GETS SO BAD I LITERALLY CAN'T STOP THINKING ABT THEM NO LEAVENME AOOEN NO

often when i hyperfixate on smthn enough i will genuinely. Have sleepless nights bc I won't be fully sleeping bc my subconscious is thinking abt that thing constantly and i either have like a million dreams about it or none but that media like plays in my head all damn night LEIKEKDIDKDJSISJKFMSALDNJDDND this happened with umbrella academy when i was 9 and it was the worst a hyperfixation obsession got NOW IT'S JUST AS BAD BUT SPN NOOOOSKENSKSSKSNJS

[staarlight-snow]

Reflections in the Murky Waters

[Short sequel to Murky Waters - Island of the Slaughtered]

TW: panic attacks (??), nightmares, ig horror, mentioned death

"Well, hoping is the only thing we can do right now.. Why not make the most of it? Right Noah?"

-

Cody jumped up from where he lay in cold sweat, tightly gripping at his shirt. His breathing was heavy and he felt tears run down his cheeks. He softly groaned – covering his ears with both his hands, his surroundings were quiet but his mind was loud. He winced at every memory, every thought and every imagery that stayed in his mind

"Another nightmare again?" A soft voice spoke, shuffling in her side of the cabin. "S-sorry.. Did I wake you?" Cody asked, moving his hands away from where they were. "No.." Gwen whispered, moving closer to the other. "I'm having trouble sleeping.. It's like every time I close my eyes I can hear him call my name." She vented, staring at the rotting wooden floor beneath them.

"Yeah.. I get the feeling. I have this.. recurring dream." He confessed, picking at the seams of his jeans. "Yeah? Want to talk about it?" Gwen offered, tilting her head as she looked at the boy. Cody took a deep breath and closed his eyes, images flashing in his mind. "It starts out with me, I walk out of the cabin holding some stuff. And I look out in the forest and he's there.. He's alive." He dragged out that last part with pain in his voice.

"I make my way towards him but.." He stopped for a moment. He hated this part. "E-every damn time I could even get close to him.. He gets pulled into the forest.. A-and it's quick! I ran after him, as fast as I could. Every night I go to bed, I try to save him.. even if it's only in my dream.." He breathed out, his voice getting weaker by the second. He's never confided these dreams with anyone before. He never thought talking about them could be just as painful as having them.

"But no matter how I try and what I do.. I couldn't save him." Tears were streaming down his face and his voice was broken. It was a pain to hear it. "Heh.. There was this one time, I managed to get to him in time. I had his hand in mine. And I was pulling him out of the water but something was also pulling him down. He told me 'Let go because it'll hurt more if you keep dwelling on it' I-I don't know if that was my brain telling me to get over it or.. if it was actually Noah.." Cody finished, he opened his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

Gwen moved her hand to the others back to console him. "It takes time to heal and right now, everyone in this cabin needs it but I think our main focus right now is to survive.. There's no point in healing if you know you'll get hurt again the next day." She sighed in defeat. It was like every slither of hope they had was slowly drifting away and all they had left was their lives. "Surviving? What's the point! There's nothing to live for anymore." Cody cried. "Don't say that!" Gwen scolded, furrowing her eyebrows.

"We promised we'd get out together.. And that's what I had going for me.. It's not like someone's waiting for me at home anyway." He muttered in between sobs, moving his legs closer to his chest. Gwen looked at the other and sighed. "Can you atleast promise me we'll both get out of here? You and me.." She asked. Cody slumped over and rested his chin on top of his knees.

"It's what they would've wanted.." He answered. "You're right.. They're our friends, they only want what's best for us." Gwen smiled, to which Cody returned. They hadn't smiled in a while – they never found a reason to anyway.

Maybe this time the world will be fair.

--

i woke up and immediately thought, "man cody's brain chemistry must've been fucked lmao.. lemme write abt that" HUAHAUAHUA I CRAVE ANGST RAGHH 👺👺 *feral gremlin noises*

anyway this isnt me shipping gwen and cody, unless u wanna view it that way ig 🤨 i just think they'll hv a kind of bond and comfort in one another ngl 😔