#woke up at 4am today and went back to sleep again just to dream up for different scenarios where i was late to work
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#woke up at 4am today and went back to sleep again just to dream up for different scenarios where i was late to work#that was so damn stressful#my sleep is sooo bad lately#every night i wake up like three times because i need to pee#and then i always dream about really weird stuff or being late for work#uff#ignore me#personal
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How i almost shifted
Hello! Honestly this is mainly for me, because i need to write down what happened but it could aslo work as a boost(?) for others who are trying to shift or lucid dream.
I've been trying to shift to my DRs for over a year now (give or take) and Lucid dream for half a year (again give or take). My goal with lucid dreams was to shift through them and use them as a method. I never had a lucid dream tho... UNTIL TODAY. (warning: english isn't my first language)
So i went to sleep a bit earlier than normal. I was feeling really tired so i didn't put on any subliminals as i usually do. Then i woke up from a morbit dream. At first it was a normal dream but then it turned weird and kinda morbit so i was glad i woke up from it (it was 3am).
I wanted to go back to sleep but every time I closed my eyes i could see some scenes from the dream so i grabbed my phone and scrolled through Tiktok instead and went to the kitchen to drink some water.
At 4am i put my headphones in and went back to sleep with a subliminal video (Plane method, if someone wants to try: https://youtu.be/u6sdm3LTIPc?si=nbhswQD3JPxZTDxN) that I've been using for 4 days now. When the video ended i was still kinda up but a little bit after it ended I've fallen asleep.
Then i woke up in a dream. It wasn't anything like any of my DRs. I was a girl with a group of friends on some school grounds with school uniforms and one of my friends was telling me that one of our teachers wanted to talk to me. So i went to meet this teacher into this building next to the school, it was like a dorm building and while i was there with the teacher i went to get some things into my room. Honestly i don't even know what the teacher was saying because literally in this moment i was stepping up the stairs (teacher was talking and going behind me) it was like my consciousness have woken up and i felt everything. I felt the stairs under my shoes, i felt the railing under my hand, i felt my body and it that same moment i was thinking that this is it. This is how I'm gonna shift.
(mind you this is my first time being fully concious in a dream and even THINKING about shifting in a dream)
I was trying to really feel everything, ground myself while i continued walking to the 2nd floor, but then as if my own brain wanted to sabotage me, for this one sec i lost my connection to my body and i tripped over a flower pot. Before it happened though i was looking at them (at the flower pots) and i knew i had a lot of space to just walk around them, but for this one sec i just wasn't lucid anymore and my body literally straight up ran into the flower pot.
Right after it happened i became lucid again but sadly lost the connection to shift. It just wasn't it anymore no matter what i tried, my feelings of my body, ground under my feet, connection to this different reality just vanished. I was feeling bummed but i was still kinda lucid so i tried to enjoy it as much as i could with my group of friends. Having a lucid dream was still a win for me.
The weird thing for me tho is when i woke up i didn't feel anything. I didn't feel happines from finally having a lucid dream nor did i feel dissapointment from losing my chance to finally shift. I just stayed in bed for a while and didn't feel a thing. I should have been happy but i wasn't, but i wasn't unhappy either. This is what confused me the most about it all, my own feelings.
Obviously i think there is something wrong about all of this, i was so close (to shifitng) and then my brain just took away my lucidity for this one moment and ruined it all and then when i wake up, i don't feel anything. If anything i feel only dissapointed because i don't feel a thing about what happend, even tho i should be happy and thrilled.
This is also why i'm posting it here, so that maybe someone can help me with this?? Like does this mean that i have some secret blockages? Why isn't my mind allowing me to do this when i was soooo close??
Well it is what it is, if you've read through all of this, thank you. It was honestly really random but at the same time when i look back at it, i basically used the BTB method (back to bed). Anyway, maybe this has given you some motivation, if so then good luck! Happy shifting everyone! <3
#reality shifter#shifting reality#shiftblr#shifting#shifting community#shifters#reality shifting#lucid dreams#lucid dreaming
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just to tell y’all how my fuckin day went i woke up at 4am this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep so i decided to just get ready for the day and go into the office hella early to try to catch up on my fuckin nightmarish workload atm. i ended up locking my keys in my truck WHICH I NEVER DO BTW i’m usually so paranoid about doing it that i have several safety measures in place but i was so tired i fucked up. i had to call a locksmith like i had nothing on me to break into that bitch with and while i’m sitting on the curb waiting for the guy to show up that one old (MARRIED!!!!) hookup messaged me again asking to see my tits?? at 8 in the fucking morning?? and then the locksmith charged me double what he quoted me?? and i’m on my period so i’m already emotionally fraught and critically miserable. i ended up 20 mins late to work when i should’ve been nearly 2 hours early and all the reports they’ve been giving me for weeks now have been so ridiculously difficult that i’m having stress dreams every single night about them. anyway so that was my day today and i’m having wine about it
#when i got to work i was so miserable that i locked tf in#the standard is 2 reports a day and i did 5#two of which included 700 page legal docs i had to comb through#which is of course on top of the several hundred standard pages of ordinances#the only thing keeping me afloat is that i’m playing dnd with my friends on saturday#and we’re all dressing as our characters#and then going out to eat after
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you have a nightmare that they cheated on you
characters: akaashi + iwaizumi + oikawa + (gn!reader)
request: hi! can I request a headcanon where akaashi, iwaizumi, and oikawa wake up to you having a nightmare that they cheated on you? something fluffy please 🙏🏼🥺 • by @vitamingummies
warnings: mentions of cheating ig but it doesn’t actually happen obvi– + a lil bit of angst
notes: hope u enjoy <3 i tried to make them all a bit different! (i don’t think i’ll do anymore of these tho cause i feel like i’ve run out of possibilities for it to go)
akaashi:
akaashi stirred awake slightly when he felt you moving around on your side of the bed
he was half asleep, drifting in and out
and he felt the bed dip as you got up, which he assumed meant that you were going to the bathroom
but once he realized it’d been a while since you left, he checked the time, 3am
he got up to go look for you, wiping his eyes sleepily
he went to the bathroom and frowned when the lights were off and you were nowhere to be found
he slugged off to the kitchen, then the living room and was shocked to see you sitting there in the dark, wrapped up in a blanket
“baby?” his voice was deep and groggy as he padded over to you, yawning before continuing. “what are you doing out here?”
you noticed him, but didn’t look up, trying to hide your face from him, which, even in his drowsy state, he knew was a bad sign.
he bent down in front of you and felt the fatigue jump out of his body when he realized you had tears falling down your cheeks. “what’s wrong? what happened?” he brought his hands to your cheeks and tried to wipe the tears, but more kept falling seemingly at a faster rate once he touched you.
he tried to catch your eye, but you wouldn’t let him. “come on baby, please talk to me? i’m not going anywhere until i figure out what’s wrong.”
he sat down next to you and pulled you into his lap, making sure the blanket was secure before holding you tight and running his hand up and down your side soothingly.
when your cries had reduced to sniffles and you calmed down a bit, you spoke up, playing with the collar of akaashi’s shirt to distract yourself. “i just...it’s stupid––”
he interrupted immediately, “of course it’s not stupid, if it made you this upset then we should talk about it. i wanna make sure you’re alright, okay?”
you nodded and swallowed, psyching yourself up to reveal everything to him. “well i––i had a dream, no, a nightmare really,” you laughed humorlessly. “where you um...you left me? well that was after you cheated on me but...” you felt him take a deep breath, “it just felt so real, you know? it hurt like a lot and then i woke up because it was so painful and i guess...the emotions carried through even after i left the dream.” you sighed, “i’m sorry i didn’t mean to worry you, i just...i don’t know, i needed to clear my head, i guess.”
a few seconds passed before you felt a gentle hand under your chin, raising your head. you finally looked into akaashi’s eyes and he spoke up. “baby, i’m sorry that you experienced that, even if it was just a dream. just hearing about it hurts me too.” he swiped his thumb over your cheek and you nuzzled into his touch. “but know that i would never ever do that to you, i could never hurt you like that and i won’t, okay?” he waited for you to nod in agreement before nodding as well and pulling you into a hug. “i’m here to love and protect you, remember that.” he kissed your cheek but didn’t let you out of the hug.
“are you better now?” again, he waited for you to nod. “let’s go back to bed, yeah?” he hugged you tight. “i’m not letting you go tonight.”
iwaizumi:
iwaizumi grunted, confused when he felt you moving around more than usual behind him,
no longer wrapped around him with one leg over his waist like how you had fallen asleep
when he heard you mumble a few things under your breath, he thought maybe you were just dreaming
but when he heard a whimper of his name, followed by “please no––”
he turned around immediately, and turned on his bedside lamp, concerned and alert
he noticed that your face looked like it was in pain, like you were hurt
he put a hand on your cheek and stroked it gently with his thumb
“wake up sweetheart.”
you shook your head from side to side, seemingly wrestling with what you were seeing in your nightmare
he kissed your forehead, “come on, come back to me. open your eyes for me baby.”
he shook your side a few times and you finally opened your eyes, but he frowned when he noticed the pain still hadn’t left your face
his eyes widened when you suddenly threw yourself into his arms, burying your face in the crook of his neck, sniffling as you blinked the tears away. he wrapped his arms around you immediately, “hey it’s okay, i’m here. you’re safe.”
he rubbed his hands up and down your back soothingly and whispered reassuring things in your ear, kissing your temple every now and then.
after a few minutes of holding you, he spoke up. “do you wanna tell me what happened in your nightmare? i’m right here, nothing bad’s gonna happen i promise.”
your hand came up to hold the side of his jaw and neck and you sat up slightly, but he made sure to keep you secure and not let you run off, not that you were going to. “um...well i was coming over to your house cause we had a date night planned...” you trailed off slightly and felt his hand rub your thigh reassuringly. you sighed, “the door was unlocked so i came in, and i noticed another girl’s shoes in by the door?” you felt him stiffen under you but you went on. “so i went to find you, to ask you about it...but when i got to your room, you were...on top of her, and you can...fill in the blanks i’m guessing...”
he opened his mouth to say something but you spoke before he could. “and you don’t have to apologize or anything, i know it wasn’t you and you wouldn’t do that...it just felt real and that really hurt me. but i’m sure i’ll get over it soon.” you tried to smile but it felt like a grimace more than anything and iwaizumi sighed. you mistook it for annoyance and your eyes widen, “oh i’m sorry, you’re probably tired, i’ll just––”
you tried to get off his lap but he stopped you, confused. “no, darling i don’t care what time it is, this is important. i only sighed because i don’t like how you’re pretending to be okay when you’re not.” he put a hand under your chin, “it’s okay if you’re not okay. but i’m here for you, to help you feel better, yeah?” he kissed your nose lightly. “you have nothing to apologize for, and i know you said i don’t either, but i’m sorry that i hurt you, even if it was in a dream.”
you smiled for real this time and kissed his cheek, making him blush lightly. “you’re too sweet to me, you know that?”
his brows furrowed, “not possible.” he gave you a quick peck on the lips and lied you back down on the bed with a small smile before turning off the light. he slid back in with you and put his arm around your waist to pull you close. “you ready to sleep?”
you nodded, “do you mind cuddling me until i fall asleep?”
“of course not, but you’re funny if you think i’m letting you go at all, even in my sleep.”
oikawa:
oikawa was sleeping peacefully, rolling over to wrap his arm around you and pull you close and his brows furrowed when you swung his arm back to his side, but he stayed asleep
he kept sleeping even after you repeated this three more times
but when you did it one more time, this time with more force, he whined and blinked his eyes open slowly
“y/n-chaaan, let me hold you~”
you simply huffed and kept staring in front of you, into the darkness of your room, your arms and legs crossed as you sat up against the headboard
you don’t even know how long you’d been awake, it was 4am, but you couldn’t be bothered to care
as soon as you saw oikawa with his tongue down another girl’s throat, while she sat in his lap, you were so mad you couldn’t think
...this was in a dream of course, and you know that––
but it still pissed you off
“wha––” oikawa leaned up on one arm to get a better look at you and make sure he wasn’t imagining things. “what are you doing up?” he turned his head to look at the clock on the nightstand, “wh––four a.m??” he turned back to you dramatically, and while normally you would’ve found it amusing, today was a different day.
you felt oikawa drag himself to a sitting position as he stared at you frantically and utterly confused. “what is going on here??” when you didn’t respond, his shoulders drooped down and he placed a hand on your thigh which you quickly slapped off. he squawked, “baby??–”
“you don’t get to call me that.”
his head bobbed back, offended. “what do you mean?! what happened in the hours that i was asleep?”
again, you stayed silent and of course, he kept talking. “y/n-chan you can’t just not tell me what’s wrong, this is outrageous!”
you sat there, brewing in your annoyance for a few moments before cutting off his rant, voice completely monotone. “you cheated on me.”
there was a brief silence, a moment of processing before he exploded. “i’m sorry, what?! i most certainly did not! what are you talking about ?! i am loyal!”
you shrugged, only fueling the fire and his eyes widened. “what do you mean?” he imitated your shrug mockingly, “where did you get this insane theory from?!”
he was talking far too loud for 4am, and you did not want a visit from the neighbors. “tooru––”
“tooru?! who is that?! i’m baby! love! your loyal boyfriend! soon to be husband when we’re ready!––”
you finally turned to him, “you’re being too loud! it’s four am––”
he glared but lowered his voice, maybe a fraction. “y/n-chan you are not gliding over your preposterous accusation like this––why on earth do you think i cheated?!”
you blinked, unfazed. “i saw it.”
“that’s impossible because it never happened!”
“yes it did! i saw your tongue go down her fucking throat and your hands were all over her and she was in your lap, tooru. that’s why i woke up because i saw it and i got mad. how dare you do that––”
“i’m telling you that never happened! i don’t know who you saw but it wasn’t––wait.” he blinked a few times and you could practically see the gears turning in his head. his eyes narrowed and he tilted his head. “did you say you saw it and you woke up? are you talking about a dream??”
you clenched your jaw, “more like nightmare but that’s irrelevant, the point is you cheated–”
“y/n-chaaan––” he threw himself on you and wrapped his arms around you, ignoring your protests. he placed his head on your lap and looked up at you, with a pout. “you scared me! i thought you were really mad at––”
“i am mad at you.”
“what?! but it wasn’t even real!”
“dream tooru and real tooru are basically the same.”
“when are you going to stop calling me that?” he frowned, giving you puppy dog eyes and you groaned, slapping a hand over his face (gently), but he still yelped anyways.
“don’t look at me like that.”
he took your hand off and kissed your palm softly. “why, is it working?”
you sighed and looked away. “...i know it wasn’t real but it still hurt seeing you like that, you know? that’s why i was so annoyed––it wasn’t even real but it still affected me so much.”
he sat up against the headboard and pulled you into his lap, pleased to see you weren’t complaining. you placed your hands on his shoulders and kept your eyes down, focused on his chest. he squeezed your waist and ducked his head down to peck your lips, smiling victoriously when it made you smile.
“i would never be as dumb as dream me and throw our precious relationship away, i love you way too much and value having you in my life far too much to do something like that.” he kissed your cheek, “you’re it for me, got it?”
you nodded, looking up into his eyes to see how serious he was. you could see the love he had for you. “okay...i love you baby.”
he smiled, “i love you too. so much.” he kissed you on the lips gently. “now can we please cuddle? we both need our beauty sleep.”
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu angst#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu headcanon#haikyuu hcs#akaashi#akaashi x reader#akaashi headcanon#akaashi hc#akaashi fluff#akaashi angst#iwaizumi#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi angst#iwaizumi fluff#iwaizumi headcanon#iwaizumi hc#oikawa#oikawa x reader#oikawa angst#oikawa fluff#oikawa headcanons#oikawa hc
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Sapnap- face cam
Wc- 1987
Warnings- none (I think) I've been up for almost 30 hours mainly because I was doing college homework all of last night and because my boyfriend Sapnap was streaming and being very loud which kept me up in the first place which was why I did my homework anyway. I love Sapnap to death but sometime he can be a little annoying but I put up with it.
Sapnap only got into bed at 4am and he's still asleep now at 11pm meanwhile since then I've finished a big essay, cleaned the apartment, done another essay and then made breakfast for myself which I'm eating now. I wish I could be this productive when I've had sleep but somehow it never works like that.
Eventually Sapnap came downstairs sauntering because he was still sleepy, some of us wish. He walked right over giving me a hug from behind as I washed some dishes and gave me a kiss on my cheek.
"Morning babe you alright?" He asked
"Yeah I'm good a little tired but I'll live" I replied
"Just to let you know I'll be streaming later" he said
He always tells me when he's streaming because his fans don't know about us and he doesn't want to accidentally reveal anything to protect me which is cute but it gets hard when he streams for hours on end and I need help with something. Sapnap is good about to it though if I really need help I either text him or message him on discord and he'll help but he sometimes doesn't read his messages.
I gave him some of what I made for breakfast and he sat down to eat it while I talked at him about college work that he pretends to care about. He's very supportive of all my college work and he'll let me get on with things if I have to but he will also talk about things with me if I want to. Thats one of the best things about Sapnap is his ability to adapt to how I'm feeling at any given moment and I like to think I'm at least ok at doing the same for him.
After breakfast Sapnap cleaned the rest of the dishes and let me take a shower which was nice and relaxing and woke me up a little bit as the cold water at the start hit my back, usually I would not be under the water as it warmed up but today I felt like I needed a shock to my system to get it going for another day. I had more homework and a lecture to do today so there was no chance for a nap until the evening when it's kind of pointless anyway.
After my shower I got dressed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt because it was comfy for sitting down all day in. Sapnap had got my laptop ready for me and had got me a glass for water which was sweet of him. My lecture was in about 2 minutes so I logged onto the class ready for it to start, when it did I put my headphones on so that Sapnap didn't have to listen to my teacher going on about whatever we were doing today, he always says he doesn't care but even I don't want to listen to it sometimes so there is no way he does.
As I tapped away making notes Sapnap put his hand on my knee rubbing his thumb in circles comfortingly. He does this all the time whether its sat on the sofa like right now or while we're driving somewhere but its safe to say that I love it, it lets me know he's there in a weird way it's like he's acknowledging my presence. At one point he got up and went to the kitchen and when he came back he had my favourite snack which he put between us so that we could share. What a lovely boyfriend he's being today, I'm starting to wonder what he thinks he's done that's he's trying to make up for.
My lecture finally finished after what seemed like and age so I went to get straight on with my last essay that needed submitting by the end of the month but Sapnap shut my laptop before I could get the document open, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the sofa and towards the door.
"Come on were going out for a walk" he said
"Why, I have an essay to work on" I whined
"You'll never leave the house if I don't drag you out so come on" he said handing me my shoes
I put them on and grabbed a jacket because according to the weather it was meant to be a little bit chilly out today, Sapnap grabbed the house keys and pushed me out the door onto the street. We don't often go out on walks because neither of us like leaving the house that much if we were to go out it would most likely be in the car to just go for a drive.
The two of us walked down the street holding hands and swinging them back and forth as we took steps forwards. Sapnap clearly had a good idea of where he wanted to go because he was making turns all over the place. Eventually we ended up at the target not that far from our place and we went in looking at everything like you do in target and we topped up on some snacks for a movie night soon.
We left with our snacks and Sapnap dragged me to the nearest park so we could sit outside and get a bit more fresh air. The nearest park is actually the one that we went to on one of our first dates so we have good memories there, on one of the benches by the duck pond is where we had our first kiss and many more after that.
I always love going back to that park with Sapnap because each time we reminisce on the past and talk about the future which seems to change each time we come here. We walked to the exact bench that we had our first kiss on and sat down looking at the scenery. It had changed quite a bit since the first time we were here, there used to be a little play park for kids in the distance but now thats gone and is replaced with a small flower garden instead.
The first time we came here and we talked about the future all we wanted was to still be together after we left for college which of course happened, then the next time we wanted to move in together which we did and now. I'm not really sure what the future holds for us but I'm sure it will be interesting.
"Wow its been so long since we came here we have changed so much and achieved everything that we wanted to" he said
"I know its so weird to think that our last goal was to move in together and now we have been living together for 5 months where do you think we will end up in the future?" I asked
"On man I have no idea but I would love to still be living together and maybe in a bigger place and maybe even be engaged" he said
This shocked me I never expected him to say that but I guess that is the next logical step for us to take in our relationship.
"I like the sound of that" I said
We went back home and Sapnap went to stream while I worked on my essay he didn't tell me how long he was going to stream for but it will probably be about 3 hours. So I sat down and got on with writing the last 15 pages of my essay which would probably take me the entire time he was streaming maybe longer.
My essay took me almost exactly 4 hours to do but when I tried to submit it it wouldn't upload which happens from time to time. I looked at the upload speed of the WiFi since Sapnap taught me how to do it and it was fine but I assumed that it was being used for something else. This problem has happened before when Sapnap is uploading a video so I assumed that was the issue.
It got up and walked to Sapnap’s streaming room waiting outside for a moment to double check that he wasn't still streaming, I waited a couple minutes and heard nothing so I knocked and went in.
As soon as I went in I saw that Sapnap was still streaming and his face cam was on which meant that I was now on his stream in front of however many people. I've never made such a stupid mistake especially one that outs my entire relationship, I just stood in shock not being able to move and get out of the shot. Sapnap had the exact same reaction his face was filled with shock and fear at the same time.
Nothing prepares you for the moment that you expose yourself live in front of probably 100,000 people or more who will record anything that happens. Nothing prepares you for the chaos that will ensue when you do the before mentioned thing and definitely nothing prepares you for the guilt you feel doing so.
"Um hi y/n" He said trying to make things less awkward
"Hey" I replied shyly
He motioned for me to come over because there was no point trying to hide this anymore since no one will believe anything we say now. I stood next to Sapnap luckily being short enough that I still fit in frame but he had obviously given up caring at this point because he pulled me down into his lap to sit while we talked to his chat. Again he did the thing where he rubs his thumb in a circle on my leg and this time it really was for comfort.
"Well chat this is y/n and shes my... girlfriend" he said
"Hi everyone" I said shyly
"Now chat I'm going to need you to be nice to her or I'll be angry because she is very precious to me" he said
His chat were going insane telling others to clip this and people getting way to excited about all of this and some were asking questions. The whole chat was going so incredibly fast that it was hard to read all the messages.
We answered some of the basic questions like how long we have been together and other things, people also asked if George and Dream knew which of course they did and they have made jokes about Sapnap having a girlfriend but no one ever took it too seriously. At one point dream joined the call and started mocking us for being stupid and exposing ourselves and he told some stories that he knew we wouldn't mind him saying which the chat enjoyed.
I started yawning more and more as I stayed on the stream because I wasn't keeping my mind busy my tiredness was taking over. I leant back into Sapnap to rest my head on his shoulder, he out his hand on my head running it through my hair which is very relaxing.
"Are you tired?" He asked
"No I'm fine I can stay awake" I said
"I don't want to hear it I know you've been awake for over 24 hours so you are going to sleep" he almost demanded
He put his arms around my waist and pulled me into a comfortable position where I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost right away forgetting that Sapnap was still streaming but it doesn't matter.
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The Best Fantasies Are With The Ones You Love ~ A Jacksepticeye Ego Fanfic
ANOTHER FABULOUS ANON PROMPT TODAY, THIS TIME REGARDING OUR JAZZY SEPTIC HERO! LET’S DO THIS!
TAGGING: @marvin-lee-magician-blog @marvinleemagician-blog @anti-switch-glitch and @dr-schneeple-switch
Jackie-Boy Man was whining into his hands in the bedroom he shared with his boyfriend Marvin. God, sometimes he really hated his brain. Just when he was trying to focus and hype himself up for an evening of hero work, his brain suddenly decided to fill his head with tickly thoughts! Namely, with his ultimate lee fantasy. Jackie had this ultimate scenario. One night, under cover of darkness as he sleeps soundly, a gang of villains sneak into his room. Somehow without waking him they restrain him, and when he wakes, they proceed to wreck him with the evillest tickle torture imaginable! They do it as vengeance for him besting them and putting them in jail, and proclaim that from that moment onwards he would be their tickle toy for all eternity. It was simultaneously the best and worst thing EVER!
Jackie whined again as he rubbed his flushed cheeks, before scrambling to find his journal and write down everything swirling in his brain. He had to get it out somehow, and when he couldn’t be tickled right there and then, he’d go and write about it in his journal. It wasn’t as cathartic, but it helped to a small degree. Once Jackie had finished writing the scenario in detail he closed the book, set it aside, slipped on his mask, and went out to deliver justice with a semi-clear head. A few hours later, when the magician came to bed… he noticed the journal. Not knowing what it was, he opened it and started reading. Marvin was amazed! Normally of course he would never poke into anyone’s private things, especially his boyfriend’s, but after reading how much Jackie wanted to experience this sweet scenario… Marvin figured that this one time it was okay. Especially since it meant he would be able to give Jackie exactly what he wanted.
Marvin smirked… and went to recruit some assistance. Assistance that came in the form of Anti and Dr Schneeplestein, who were both delighted to hear about Jackie’s dream scenario… as well as feeling very eager to assist Marvin in making it a reality for the hero. So while Jackie was out they planned, plotted, and let their collective mischief grow and grow, figuring out their villain-sonas, putting as much detail into their design as they possibly could. They wanted the scenario to be perfect for Jackie, because he absolutely deserved it with how hard he worked day in and day out, and at night too. Soon though… the plan was ready, and all they had to do was wait.
It was about 4am when Jackie returned, exhausted from the night’s efforts. He showered and passed out in bed for some well-deserved sleep. Now, the first part of the plan involved turning Jackie’s alarm off so he could get all the sleep he needed – this turned out to be around 10 hours, which is when Marvin’s magic detected the hero starting to stir. Then, with Marvin using his magic to gently keep Jackie asleep, the three “villains” entered the room. They tied Jackie up so he was spread-eagle on the bed, looking incredibly cute and vulnerable, before Marvin retracted his magic so Jackie could wake up naturally. And so he did. Jackie yawned widely as he woke up, smiling to himself as he went to rub his eyes… but then his face scrunched in confusion when he found he couldn’t brings his arms down.
‘Aww, having trouble there hero?’
Jackie blinked repeatedly, and when his vision finally focused, his eyes widened. Anti had been the one who’d spoken, and he was the first person Jackie saw, since the glitch was leaning over him. Anti cackled at Jackie’s expression as the hero stammered.
‘Anti? Wha-… what the heck?! Why am I-?
‘Hehe, oh he looks so cute when he’s all befuddled!’
Jackie was interrupted, and as Anti leant back it allowed Jackie to see who else was in the room. Schneeple had been the one to interrupt him, the doctor smirking sinisterly at him. Next to him however, was someone that made Jackie blush just to see him. Marvin, his boyfriend. Jackie gaped at the sight of him. Marvin was dressed in a sleek, tight black suit with red and emerald accents, with a porcelain version of his mask resting on his face… he looked so hot, but the sneer he wore gave Jackie chills.
‘Oh I quite agree.’
Marvin then purred, chuckling gently as he watched Jackie try to process everything that was going on. Jackie was still utterly confused! He’d woken up restrained before, since he lived in a household of pranksters and mischief-makers, but he couldn’t fathom why he was being ganged up on like this!
‘What-… I-I don’t…?’
Jackie stuttered, looking between his three captors, who giggled. Marvin let out a fond, exaggerated sigh as he cooed.
‘Oh you sweet thing. So confused and so adorable. I don’t think he realises the vengeance we’re about to bring down upon him.’
Marvin grinned at his co-conspirators, and Jackie gulped. Vengeance?! He didn’t know what on earth he’d done to deserve any kind of vengeance!
‘V-Vengeance?’
Marvin, Schneeple and Anti snickered. Though Jackie’s confusion was endearing, they wanted him to realise what was going on. Marvin’s eyes glittered as he paced around to the side of the bed, leaning over Jackie as he raised an eyebrow down at him.
‘You don’t recall your silly little heroics landing us all in prison?’
Jackie’s eyes widened. No… no way, there’s no way they could be… could they? Jackie watched as Marvin’s eyes flicked over to Jackie’s desk, and the hero’s face went beet red when he saw his journal lying open on top of it. Open on his most recent entry… where he’d talked about this exact fantasy! Jackie was silent in shock, which made Marvin really want to laugh, but he managed to maintain his villainous personal as he stood up straight and sighed.
‘And here I thought I’d made an impression.’
Jackie blinked, biting his lip to try and hold back his smile as butterflies swarmed in his belly. This was actually happening! His boyfriend and two of his best friends had tied him down and were pretending to be villains, doing all this for him… the hero just felt so damn loved. One thing he was also certain of, was that he was going to go all-in with it! He took a deep breath, and mustered up his most determined expression as he exclaimed.
‘Y-You should untie me right now, if you know what’s good for you!’
His captors laughed at him, giving him the best goose-bumps; the three of them felt so giddy at Jackie being so eager! Anti skipped over to Jackie’s side, cocking his head down at him, tongue poking out through his teeth as he giggled.
‘Oh but that would be no fun! How are we meant to torture you if you’re not tied up? Silly Jackie-Boy!’
Anti then reached down and skittered his fingers up one of Jackie’s exposed sides, ending with fluttering his fingers in the hero’s vulnerable hollow. The sudden tickle made Jackie squeak and splutter, his heart starting to pound as the situation now REALLY sunk in.
‘H-Hehey, get ohoff!’
Jackie said… but that was never going to stop Anti. The glitch smirked brightly, pinned Jackie’s bicep down, and with his free hand scratched as deep as he could into the hero’s bare underarm.
‘Awww Jackie Jackie Jackie, so bossy! I know, let’s tickle the bossiness outta you! Gitchy gitchy gooo!’
‘AHH! N-Nononohoho! Stahahap thahahat s-stahahahappit!’
Jackie yelled, spluttering and giggling frantically; if he was being honest, he’d actually forgotten just how damn ticklish his armpits were! He was tugging desperately at his arm, but there was no shifting it. Marvin chuckled warmly, folding his arms across his chest as he continued to watch. Meanwhile, Schneeple came around to stand at Jackie’s other side, a delighted grin of fascination having spread across his face.
‘Such a response! He must have a fascinating nervous system!’
The doctor then took it upon himself to pin Jackie’s other bicep and give that armpit the same tickle treatment that Anti was doling out. Jackie giggled madly as he shook his head, arching his back and wailing as the tickling sent bolts and sparks through his entire, vulnerable body.
‘Gehehehet ohohohoff mehehehe! Stahahahap!’
Jackie tried to demand, but it did him no good. Anti snickered, looking to Schneeple giddily.
‘Oooh, you gonna do some fun experiments doc?’
‘Oh for sure! I have some lovely new compounds that require a sensitive little test subject.’
Schneeple replied with an eager smile, making it seem like he had countless evil plans at the ready to torment the imprisoned hero with in the coming days of his captivity. Jackie honestly thought he’d never been so flustered in his whole damn life!
‘Nahahaha y-yohohou’ll nehehever gehet ahaway wihihith thihihihis!’
He exclaimed, making one last ditch effort to act tough… but it was no use. Jackie gulped when Marvin let out a loud, amused laugh. The malevolent magician clapped his hands together, before gripping the railings at the foot of the bed, leaning over Jackie’s legs as he sneered amidst his taunting reply.
‘Oh but we already have, my dear. No-one will ever find you. Now we have you, you will have the delight of living your life as our tickle toy… for the rest of eternity.
If Jackie’s face wasn’t completely red before, then it certainly was now. Hearing those words was evil enough, but hearing them from Marvin made them all the more effective on the poor hero. Marvin was clearly the head “villain” in this scenario, which Jackie loved. Furthermore, another thing that Jackie loved was being a cheeky brat when he was being tickled; a demeanour which in this situation, fit his heroic persona perfectly.
‘Ihihihi’m nahahat aha dahamn tohoy y-yohou ahasshole!’
Jackie’s exclamation made Marvin’s eyebrows shoot up as Schneeple and Anti gasped. The two of them looked at Marvin as he locked eyes with Jackie, glaring at him as a sneer grew on his face. Then he glanced at Schneeple and Anti and commanded.
‘Tickle him harder.’
They beamed and immediately obliged, making Jackie squeal through his mirth. Then he let out a series of flustered gasps as Marvin came around… and crawled on top of him. Before Jackie knew it, Marvin was straddling his hips and leaning over him, eyes bright with his malevolence and passion as he purred down at him.
‘You have such a strong will, and I admire that. But by the time this day has ended, you will already be broken.’
Marvin then slid his hands down Jackie’s torso, before delivering the most ruthless, tickly squeezes to his hips that Jackie had ever felt! Jackie howled with laughter as he bucked, eyes wide as he internally crowed at the delightful tickle torture – though on the outside he of course protested.
‘AHHH NAHAHA DOHOHON’T! GEHEHET OHOFF THEHERE GEHET OHOHOFF!’
Jackie’s hips were a real bad spot on him, which Marvin of course knew all too well. He remembered the first time he’d discovered they were ticklish; he and Jackie had been tussling and he’d gripped the hero’s hips to try and pin him, and instead had been rewarded with sweet laughter. Meanwhile Anti and Schneeple were using all ten fingers in each of Jackie’s armpits, both of them filled with evil glee.
‘Ooohh look at him bucking, it’s like his hips are asking for more!’
Anti teased, making the doctor laugh and gasp dramatically; the two of them were having A LOT of fun being all villainous.
‘Why Anti I think you’re right!’
Jackie was just a mess of mirth at this point. His hair was sticking to his forehead as he thrashed in the restraints, truly feeling like he had no escape from the tickling. A teasy grin would fill his gaze whichever way he looked, and their taunting words echoed in his mind long after they said them. It was incredible.
‘PLEHEHEASE OHOGOHOD NOHO MOHOHORE!’
Jackie begged adorably, making his tormentors chuckle, Marvin especially.
‘No more? Oh but darling we’ve barely begun! We’re only two tickle spots in, and you’re already begging for mercy? I knew this would be fun, but sweetheart this is just hilarious.’
Marvin taunted, vibrating his thumbs deep into the bowels of Jackie’s hips now, making the hero shriek and throw his head back with his vibrant laughter.
‘YOHOHOHOU’RE EHEHEVIHIL!’
‘Thank you.’
Marvin replied, chuckling warmly as he stayed nice and close to the hero; his sweet scent and warm breath constantly cascaded over Jackie’s face, keeping him in a beautifully flustered haze amidst the tickles. The magician sneered as he drank in Jackie’s mirth… before he glanced over to Schneeple and Anti
‘Say boys, his feet seem to be kicking up quite a fuss behind me, how about you go give them your attention?’
Anti and Schneeple giggle evilly, not hesitating to oblige. The pair of them had mercy on Jackie’s armpits before they darted to the foot of the bed, sitting down and each taking a bare foot into their lap. Jackie’s eyes widened and he whimpered, panting amidst the little respite as he gazed up at Marvin pleadingly.
‘P-Plehease! Please not there, M-Marvin… please y-you don’t have to be evil, n-none of you do! I can help you! Y-You don’t n-need to torture me like this!’
Jackie stammered desperately; though his hips were diabolical, his feet were so ticklish that he always thought his sensitivity there would drive him to insanity. Again, something Marvin knew all too well. Marvin was in love with how invested in the scenario Jackie was, and he could tell how happy he was. It made him impossibly happy, because he and the others were adoring it too. Marvin grinned a a feral grin, and stroked Jackie’s cheek affectionately as he purred.
‘Oh my sweet Jackie, I’m sorry but… you are just too beautiful not to torture.’
Jackie’s beet red flush spread down his neck as his flusteredness reached its peak… and then he screamed. His laughter was high-pitched and filled with squeals as Anti and Schneeple raked their blunt nails up and down his soles, entirely without mercy.
‘NAAAAHAHAHA FUHUHUHAHAHAACK STAHAHAAA!’
‘Dawww, looks like someone has tickly wittle footsies!’
‘And toes too, ohh I have so many tools I can use on these wiggly little piggies!’
Anti and Schneeple teased effortlessly, sharing evil looks between them and sending winks in Jackie’s direction. All Jackie could think was yup… this is it, I’m actually going to lose my sanity! He tried to scrunch and pull at his feet, but Anti and Schneeple were too clever to give him any lee-way. They held each foot securely, holding his toes back so there was nothing he could do except take the tickles and grow more and more hysterical.
‘OHOHOHO GAHAHAHA!’
He shrieked. Amidst all this, Marvin was gazing down at him lovingly, still stroking his cheek as he purred, whispering only for the hero’s ears.
‘You must feel so weak, finally being at our mercy. The great Jackie-Boy Man, so-called superhero, reduced to a mess of mirth and begging… all from a little tickling. You have no idea how much this pleases me.’
Marvin’s hypnotic teasing swirled inside Jackie’s head. It was he could hear, all he could comprehend. He loved every tingle-inducing syllable of it.
‘This is your life now… your every waking moment will be a torment. All the nerves your body holds will be found and tickled in every way you can possibly imagine, over and over again until we find out just what ruins you the most. Doesn’t that sound fun?’
Marvin queried, adoring how tears started building in Jackie’s eyes. Marvin would never usually wreck Jackie this severely, but he could tell his darling needed this. He’d been working so hard, training so much… he just needed the chance to let his mind and body go for a little while, and he was more than happy to do that for him. Marvin would do anything for him, plus Anti and Schneeple would always drop everything to help their hero… and Jackie was forever grateful for the love he was surrounded by every single day.
‘PLEHEHEHEASE OHOHO GAHAHAHA AHAHA-AGH-’
Now though, Jackie let out a few coughs amidst his laughter. This was the sign to his tormentors that this particular game was at an end. The three of them had mercy on him, with Marvin glancing at Schneeple and Anti, signalling for them to gently untie Jackie’s ankles; meanwhile, Marvin snapped his fingers to get rid of the wrist restraints. He shifted off Jackie gently and laid down next to him, stroking his hair as he whispered warmly.
‘It’s all done my love, you’re okay. You did so good, you’re so incredible my darling, you’re so amazing.’
Jackie panted and giggled residually, instinctively curling into Marvin’s chest as he melted at the delightful praise. Soon enough Anti and Schneeple got on the bed too and snuggled around him, making him smile as he looked up at Marvin, his expression oh so sweet and bashful.
‘Yohou… r-rehead my journal…’
Jackie said quietly, making Marvin nod down at him with a grin. Marvin teasingly nuzzled his cheek as he replied.
‘Well you did leave it lying around. You don’t mind, do you honey?’
Jackie giggled, before shaking his head. He didn’t mind one little bit. Then though, he exhibited a particularly cute yawn, making the three “villains” around him giggle fondly.
‘I think it’s naptime.’
Schneeple said, and so it was. They all snuggled in close together, and fell into a serene, warm, collective sleep. They all had individual dreams, each person’s little fantasies dancing about in their minds… but after today, all of them would certainly agree that fantasies were always better, when shared with the ones you love.
WOOOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DID WOOO LUV YOUS!!
#jacksepticeye#jacksepticeye egos#jackie-boy man#jackie#marvin the magnificent#marvin#antisepticeye#anti#dr schneeplestein#schneeplestein#schneeple#sfw#prompt#platonic#romantic#ego fic#ego fanfic#tword fic#tword fanfic#tword#twords#twording#twordish#luv these dorks
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Homesick - (Christen Press x reader)
Hey guys!!! Honestly heard this song and loved it so much and thought it would be good for an imagine. Halfway through writing it I thought it would have been better with an army service person but honestly was too tired to change it all. But I hope you enjoy!!!
You look so peaceful in our bed
I didn't wanna wake you when I left
To catch my plane
And I'll be trailing through the sky
Just another silhouette up high
Before you wake
I groan quietly as the alarm on my Fitbit buzzes awaking me from my peaceful night. I lay there for another minute before deciding I unfortunately have to get up. Ever so slowly I gently slip out from Christen's grasp and quietly get out of the bed.
I start to move around the room getting ready. The benefit of having everything packed the day before means I wasn't in a rush to pack and I all I had to do was get changed. As I check my watch I see I need to be leaving soon to make my flight. But as I look over at Christen who is still sleeping peacefully in the bed I smile softly at the sight.
She looked so serene and peaceful. She looked so relaxed as her chest rises and falls in slow rhythmic breaths. I frown knowing how hard she's been working lately on Re Inc alongside training and everything else that needs to be done. I sigh and bite the inside of my cheek. We had a traditional, sort of like an unspoken rule. Whenever one of us had to leave for somewhere we would always wake the other up to say goodbye. Sadly it was usually me doing the waking up having to travel a lot for work.
But knowing how stressed she been recently about Re Inc's new capsule launch and the upcoming Olympics, I didn't have the heart to wake her up.
Instead I settle for a gentle kiss on her forehead. I freeze as she stirs in her sleep as she shuffles around in the bed before burying her head into my pillow. With one last smile I creep out of the room leaving her a small note on the counter before leaving for the airport.
Knowing by the time she wakes up I'll be high in the sky.
You tell me that you had that dream again
When I didn't have to go
I wish that we could live inside your head
I had barely stepped into my hotel room when my phone rings. I drop my bags before fishing around in my pockets to find my phone. But I smile as I see the name pop up on my screen, "Morning Chris".
"You didn't wake me this morning..." I didn't even need to see her to know that she was pouting on the other end. I bite my lip, "I know but I know how hard you've been working and you just looked so beautiful and peaceful. I just couldn't do it". She giggles, "Maybe it's because of the dream I was having".
I flop back into the bed settling back into the mattress, "What were you dreaming about?" "You woke me up and told me that your gig was cancelled and you didn't have to leave". I chuckle and run my hand through my hair, "I like the sound of that. I wish we could live inside you head".
And I know that you'll feel better
When you're sat there in my sweater
That I gave you to remember
Being on the sofa next to me
And I'm waking up at 6:00 a.m.
To call before you go to bed
And tell you 'bout the day I've planned
And listen to the one you had
And when I'm homesick
I've got you on my home screen
So anywhere I'm going
I know that you'll be with me
Until I hold you, darling
I grin, "I'm sorry I didn't wake you up. But I have a surprise that will make you happy". She hums, "Oh yeah? What is it?" "Go look in the wardrobe" I tell her. I can hear her shuffling on her end as she no doubt goes to the wardrobe. Then I hear her coo over the phone, "Awe Y/n..." I smile, "I know it sucks being away from each other a lot of the time especially with conflicting schedules and stuff. But I hope this will help remind you I'm always here for you".
She giggles, "It's smells like you and a small bit of popcorn". I had left her one of my oversized sweater which she always loved to steal off me. She had spent many nights curled up in my sweater on the sofa for our movie nights. It was one of my favourites but I could never be mad at her for taking it. She just looked so adorable all swallowed up in the massive hoodie.
"This way" I tell her, "whenever you start to miss me. You can just put this on and think of the two of us cuddled up on the couch". She lets out a content sigh, "I love you". I smile, "I love you too".
Your friends, they ask you all the time
Why'd you wanna wait another night
When I'm not home?
And nothing seems to settle down
Just another day, another town
And we're alone
As much as I love my job it did suck at times. Being a photographer for hire was brilliant as I got to do what I loved and got to travel all over the world meeting amazing people. The problem with being in such high demand means I'm traveling a little too much at times.
It also meant that I was purely reliant on reputation alone. Thankfully I had spent years building it up. It didn't hurt that I was very versatile doing just about everything from travel pictures to modelling shoots. But in building up a reputation it meant that I couldn't turn down bookings.
And it seems that I always had the worst timing with luck. It seems that just as I finish up a job I get booked for another one. Postponing my return home. Things just never seems to settle down. Meaning spending even longer away from Christen. Or just when I come home she's leaving for camp or matches. I would be hopping town to town. The two of us alone.
But not really
But I can never let this go to waste
The further that I go
The more I seem to love you every day
But no matter how far away we are from each other. No matter the distance I travel it could never diminish how much I love Christen. It's as if the further I travel the more my love grows for her. I guess what they say is true.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
And I know that you'll feel better
When you're sat there in my sweater
That I gave you to remember
Being on the sofa next to me
And I'm waking up at 6:00 a.m.
To call before you go to bed
And tell you 'bout the day I've planned
And listen to the one you had
And when I'm homesick
I've got you on my home screen
So anywhere I'm going
I know that you'll be with me
Until I hold you
When I'm homesick
I've got you on my home screen
So anywhere I'm going
I know that you'll be with me
Until I hold you, darling
After touching down in New York and hailing down a taxi I slump back in the seat as they drive me to the hotel for the night. But the first thing I do is check the time difference. It just became apart of my routine everytime I went somewhere for work. I would always check the time difference between where I am with wherever Christen is.
I had made it a priority to always call Christen before she goes to bed no matter what unless it was organised before hand for some reason.
Of course I never told Christen this. Purely cause in doing so it means that I would have to be awake at insane hours in order to call her. Of course it was a pain but everything was worth it to hear about Christen's day.
As I get to the hotel I immediately slide into the bed not even bothering to change and instead just dropping my bags and getting comfortable underneath the warn blankets. Knowing I only have a few hour before needing to wake up to call Christen.
I groan lightly when I hear the alarm on my phone go off. I sit up in my bed with a yawn before taking my phone off the charge and dialling Christen's number. I rub the sleep from my eyes as it rings. But it doesn't take long as it only has the chance to ring twice before I hear my beautiful girlfriend's voice on the other end, "Hey Y/n!"
I smile tiredly, "Hey Love". "You okay? You sound tired. Early start?" I chuckle quietly she has no idea. "Eh it's okay I just woke up is all". I stifle a yawn, "But don't worry about that how was your day?"
I can't help but smile as she begins her long rant about her day. Starting off with the usual with her morning yoga and meditation and everything. Then tells me about Kelley acting like a crack head at training and work for Re Inc. "Mal was asking for you as well today" she tells me making me smile. "Awe" coo, "tell the little nugget I miss her too".
"Do you have much planned for the day?" She asks. I shrug although I know she can't see me, "Well other than the shoot I have today I don't really know. Maybe if I get a chance I can go explore maybe take a few pictures". She groans, "Uh I wish I could go exploring with you". I smile, "Maybe one day I'll bring you back with me and then we can explore together". "I would like that" she says softly.
There's a small pause before she speaks again. "So do you know when your going to be coming home?" She asks quietly. I sigh knowing it was coming. She asks every time and I hate it. Purely because I can never give her a good answer. I never liked giving her an answer only for her to be disappointed when another job calls me away again. "I don't know Chris" I sigh. "I have this gig which is a city wide shoot which could go on for days if we get delayed and then I might be getting called for another in England afterwards".
I could practically see the frown on her face, "Okay..." I sigh and play with the ring on my finger, "But you know that I'm doing everything in my power to get back home to you". "I know". I inhale deeply, "I love you so so so so much Christen Press". I smile as I hear her giggle down the line, "I love you too". "To the moon and back" I whisper. She sighs contently.
"To the moon and back"
I know that you'll feel better
When you're sat there in my sweater
That I gave you to remember
Being on the sofa next to me
I groan quietly as I rub my eyes tired from constantly staring at the screen. When I glance up I see I've been editing these photos for over 3 hours now as the it now shows that it's nearing 4am. I slump back in the chair and stare up at the ceiling just taking a moment to rest my eyes.
I loved photography and taking pictures of different things. But this was the part I hated the most. Editing. Was simply the bain of my existence. It was just a slow process and took so long to do such small things. And as much as I wanted to just go to sleep I knew I couldn't. The longer I put these off the more pressure I'll be under to get them sent off.
It would also lead to just a bigger amount of pictures to edit and that didn't seem all that appealing either.
It didn't help that all my thoughts just seems to trail back to Christen. She's probably in the middle of team bonding or free time right now. Probably hanging with Tobin or someone right now. What I wouldn't give to just be cuddled up with her right now taking a nap.
I missed her so much right now
My thoughts are interrupted by my phone pinging. I sigh as I grab my phone only to see it's an Instagram notification. I scrunch my face "I've been tagged?" I shrug thinking it's just probably someone posting some photos I took for them but instantly smile when I see who it was.
It was a picture I had actually taken a while ago just for fun but it came out extremely well. It was a picture of Chris sitting on our sofa looking away from the camera and instead to the seat beside her. The light streaming in from the windows we're hitting her perfectly. But the best part was her sitting them in my baggy sweater adorning her small frame making her look even smaller than usual.
Christenpress Wish you were here next to me
I chuckle as I like the photo. Christen was such a tease. She knew that fans had suspicions that she was dating someone but would never come out and directly say who. It was quite funny seeing how many people speculated Christen and Tobin were dating from photos I had taken. Taking friendly gestures way out of context.
After staring at the picture for a while longer I switch off my phone and get back to editing the photos. Wanting to get these done as quickly as possible. Because the quicker I get these done.
The quicker I get home to her.
And when I'm homesick
I've got you on my home screen
So anywhere I'm going
I know that you'll be with me
Until I hold you
When I'm homesick
The day had been longer than it should have been. The shoot had a rocky start with an overbearing manager interrupting the shoot constantly and questioning everything every 5 minutes. I was quickly coming to the end of my tether but I finally cracked. Not only was he making the model uncomfortable, he started questioning me. So I eventually kicked him off the shoot.
Which was the best decision as the model finally relaxed enough to continue on with the shoot. It ran much smoother after that but we had a lot of time to make up for. And along with the wardrobe changes and travelling between locations the day was just tiring overall.
It didn't help that homesickness hit my like a train today.
I don't know why but everything just remind me of Christen. It was almost crippling how much I missed her. Wanting nothing more than to be in her arms. But I plastered a smile on my face and grinned and bared it. The only thing getting me through the day was my phone.
My phone was my lifeline and my medicine for homesickness. Whenever I was having a bad day or just missing home all I had to do was turn on my phone. And I was met with Christen smiling up at me from my home screen. It was a picture that I think one of her teammates took. It was of a picture of a few of us at a party or team celebration I honestly couldn't remember. With Tobin, Pinoe and a few others either side of us while Christen was sitting on my lap with my arms wrapped around her and my chin resting on her shoulder. Both of us smiling at the camera. It was of It's my own way of always having her with me.
She has my sweater and I have my home screen. And that will keep us going until we're back together again.
I've got you on my home screen
So anywhere I'm going
I know that you'll be with me
Until I hold you, darling
I focus my camera waiting for the perfect moment until I quickly snap the photo. I grin as I see the outcome of the shots and swear that she could never take a bad photo ever. I wait anxiously taking the occasional picture until the whistle finally blows.
I pull the snood closer to my face and pull my hat down further down my face making me almost unrecognisable. As I make my way onto the field I snap pictures of the players trading after match pleasantries and talking to each other. I smile as I see her smiling and laughing with Tobin and Mal. I raise the camera to my eye and wave at them, "Hey! Can I get a picture?"
They all nod before standing beside each other and smiling at me with their arms around each other. I quickly take the picture before lowering the camera, "Beautiful! Thank you but I was expecting a better reaction from you".
She looks at me confused before I lower my snood and smile at my girlfriend, "Hey Love". She gasps at me before launching herself into my arms giving me just enough time to move my camera away from getting crushed and catch her in my arms. I spin her around in my arms before putting her back on her feet. "Your here! Omg your actually here!" She squeals as she wraps her arms around my neck.
After passing off my phone to Mal with a smile I securely wrap my arms around her waist pulling her even closer to me, "Yes Darling. I'm here".
We sway side to side for a bit just enjoying being back in each others arms again. "I missed you" she whispers into my neck as I kiss the side of her head, "I missed you too. So so so much Chris".
She pulled back just even to look into my eyes before leaning in to kiss me. Finally being back in each others arms we were so happy to be back with each other. "I love you to the moon and back" I whisper pressing my forehead against hers.
"I love you to the moon and back"
#uswnt imagine#uswnt imagines#christen press x reader#christen press imagines#christen press imagine#uswnt x reader
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Playing With Fire - Mrs. Andrews
A/N: So this is my first crack at Chicago fire fanfiction, so don't judge too hard, alright? This will unfold from the beginning of season three, so if you haven't watched it yet, but plan to; SPOILER ALERT! I tried to follow along with the storyline of the show, but some things have been changed. Shout out to my superawesome beta @thorne93, you rock!
A/N 2: Just one more part after this, guys. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this, been patient with my very flimsy posting schedule, and to those who has showed me love throughout this series. You are all AMAZING!
Fandom: Chicago Fire
Pairing: Kelly Severide x Beth (OFC)
Warnings: None I think
Wordcount: 2225
MASTERLIST
A million thanks to @campingmonkey��� for making this GIF for me on request. You’re the best!
Kelly didn't really understand what was happening when his alarm went off at 4am. He was ready to roll around and continue his sleep when he remembered why he had set his alarm in the first place. He basically rolled himself off the couch with a groan and padded his way to Beth's room.
Nightmares plagued Beth's sleep. Over and over again she saw that car coming towards her in slow motion. A loud crash, followed by Alex running away, and then she was all alone. No help ever came. When Kelly gently nudged her arm, she jerked awake.
“Sorry,” he whispered as Beth sat up in her bed.
“No, it's okay,” she said, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands.
Kelly sat on the edge of her bed, concern etched into his handsome face as he placed a hand on her knee. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I'm fine. Just a bad dream.”
“Want to talk about it?” he asked.
"I don't remember what it was,” she lied.
“Alright.” He gave her knee a firm squeeze. “Try and get some more rest. I'm right in there if you need me,” he reminded as he got to his feet again. He was just about to go back to the living room when a small, gentle hand closed around his wrist. He looked down to where their hands connected before he let his eyes meet hers.
It took a second for her to find her voice. “Can you stay here with me?”
She sounded so vulnerable, so broken, that Kelly was powerless to deny her anything. He nodded his head without saying a word and Beth moved over to make room for him before he climbed in. Neither of them spoke as Beth reached down and laced their fingers together, resting her head on his shoulder. Kelly kissed her hair and whispered a goodnight, and before long, Beth had drifted off to sleep again. Kelly on the other hand, didn't want to sleep right away, he wanted to stay awake a little and just enjoy the moment. It was nice to have her so close again, to feel her hand in his as he listened to her heavy, sleep filled breaths. Yes, he definitely needed to savor this moment for as long as he possibly could.
Beth woke up alone the next morning. Kelly had woken up at eight that morning, but he didn't have the heart to wake her up, so he had let her sleep. It was nearly an hour later when Beth came padding into the kitchen, her hair sticking out to all odds and end, her eyes still filled with sleep.
“Morning,” Kelly greeted, flashing her that charming smile of his. One thing he had learned about her was that she wasn't human until she had her morning coffee, so as soon as he saw her, he started getting a cup ready for her.
“Morning,” she greeted back, sending him a smile as he handed her the mug. She took a deep breath before she spoke. “Thank you for staying with me,” she said softly.
“Don't mention it,” he said kindly as they both took a seat at her table. “You remember what you were dreaming?”
“Just the accident,” she said, not looking up at him. “Apparently my brain thought it would be fun to play it on a loop in slow motion.”
“Are you okay?” he asked again, worrying his brows.
“I promise.”
“Can I ask you something?” he asked tentatively and Beth answered with a nod. “You said you’re claustrophobic,” he started.
“Mhm..”
“Does that have anything to do with why you left NYFD?”
Beth sighed and put her cup on the table. “It was a building collapse,” she started. “My partner and I got trapped with a patient we were trying to save. The patient died on impact, and my partner was badly injured. We were stuck there for nearly eleven hours,” she said with pain in her voice.
“I'm sorry, Beth,” he said, reaching out to give her hand a comforting squeeze. “How’s your partner?”
“He didn't make it.” A tear fell from her eye and she wiped it away. “My leg was pinned under some rubble and I couldn't get to him. So I just had to sit there and watch him die,” she sniffled at the memory.
Kelly got up from his seat and rounded the table, crouching down in front of her. It wasn't hard to understand why she had reacted the way she did when she got pinned in that car. He didn't know what to say to her, so he just reached up and cupped her cheek.
She melted into his touch, taking the comfort it provided. “I tried to go back after my leg had healed up, but I couldn't do the job anymore. Claustrophobia and panic attacks don't really go hand in hand with being a paramedic.”
“But it's getting better?” he wondered.
“Yeah, I'm getting there. I guess being stuck in that car- just a little too familiar I guess.”
Kelly didn't quite know what else to say, so he opted to give her a hug instead, trying to provide her with a little comfort. He knew as well as anyone what this job could be like, and he had seen how it could change people. The fact that Beth had left it behind after her injuries didn't make him think any less of her, to the contrary. It took strength to walk away from something you loved, to admit that it might have changed for you.
Beth sniffled into his shoulder, appreciating the gesture. She was about to say something more to him, but before she could, a knock on the door interrupted her, and pulled them apart.
“It's probably just Gabby checking in,” she said as she got to her feet. “You mind? I'm gonna go put some pants on.”
Kelly just nodded and went to open the door. He was expecting Gabby, or anyone else from 51, but he didn't recognise the woman on the other side of the door.
“Who are you?” she asked in a demanding tone.
Beth froze as she heard the familiar voice, instantly turning on her heel to go save Kelly.
“Mom! What are you doing here?”
She didn't answer, just looked Beth up and down with a disapproving look on her face while Kelly seemed as though he was a deer stuck in headlights.
“You know why I'm here,” mom countered, “You gonna let me in?”
‘No’ Beth thought to herself, but Kelly stepped aside to let the woman in. She pushed past them both, leaving her luggage in the hallway. Beth grabbed the suitcase and wheeled it inside before following her mom.
“It's smaller than I imagined,” she criticised as she looked around the apartment. When her eyes landed on her daughter, her hard features softened and she reached out to give Beth a hug. “I was so worried about you.”
Kelly came up to introduce himself. “It's nice to meet you Mrs. Andrews,” he said politely.
“So you’re Beth's friend?” she quizzed, actually making quotation marks around the word friend.
“Oh my god,” Beth exclaimed, hiding her face in her hands. “He's just a friend,” she pressed, pointing to the couch that was still made up.
“You always walk around half naked when you have friends over?”
“I just got out of bed, mom. And I've definitely not had enough coffee for this,” she added that last part under her breath.
“Have you eaten yet, or should I make something for you real quick?” She was already heading for the fridge.
And just like that Beth felt like she was fourteen years old again. “I don't have time for food mom, I have an appointment at the hospital.”
“Oh good. I wanted to talk to your doctor,” she chirped.
“No, mom. You don't have to come. Kelly is gonna give me a lift.”
“Nonsense. I'm here now. There's no need to put him out anymore,” Mrs. Andrews said sweetly, sending Kelly a tightlipped smile.
“No one is putting me out,” Kelly said politely. “I don't mind taking you both if that's alright?” he offered.
“Excuse us for a moment,” Beth said, taking Kelly by the arm and dragging him away. “I am so sorry about this,” she said with wide eyes. “I really didn't think she would just show up like this.”
“It's okay,” Kelly said with a chuckle.
“You should just go. Save yourself,” she suggested.
“I'm a big boy, Beth. I can take it,” he noted. “Besides, how bad can she be?”
“You’re gonna regret those words, Lieutenant.”
***
At least there weren't any awkward silences with Beth's mom around. There was a constant flow of words coming out of her mouth. Everything from complaining about the cold Chicago winter, to gossiping about neighbours back in New York, to bragging about Beth's brothers and their recent accomplishments. By the time Kelly pulled his car up to Beth's apartment, his ears were practically bleeding, and he was definitely excited about dropping them off. Beth on the other hand, was so embarrassed that she didn't have words.
She gave her mom the keys to her apartment and told her she'd be right in.
“Bet you regret not bailing when you had the chance,” Beth noted as soon as mom had disappeared through the front door.
“Just a tad,” he chuckled.
“I'm really sorry about all this. Is there any way I can make it up to you?”
He just shrugged it off. “So, what are your plans now that you have a clean bill of health?” he wondered, sticking his hands in his pockets.
“I don't know. Guess I have to ask my mom,” she joked, making Kelly laugh. Just then, Mrs Andrews stuck her head out the door and yelled something about them catching the flu if they stayed out there in the cold. Beth rolled her eyes and said she'd be right in. “You and Gabby be careful today, alright?” Kelly just bobbed his head. “I hope you find some answers.”
“Me too.” He closed the gap between them and placed a chaste kiss to her forehead before he started making his way around the car again.
“I'm here if you want to talk,” she called out just as he was about to get in.
“I'll keep that in mind,” he said with a smile. And with that he got back in his car and drove away.
Beth watched him until he turned the corner and then she took a deep breath to gather some strength before she headed back inside.
***
The next day was unbelievably cold, to the point that Chicago had issued a state of weather emergency and urged everyone to stay inside. Kelly tried to get out of his car, but didn't get very far before he sat back in and closed the door. He looked around for anything he could use to shield him from the cold during the short walk from his car and to the firehouse. A sweatshirt lay in the back seat, so he threw it on like a scarf and ran inside.
“Wow!” he exclaimed as he came through the door and almost ran into Tony.
“Pretty brutal out there today,” Tony noted.
“Yeah. I just saw a penguin. Crying,” Kelly joked.
Because of the weather emergency, everyone at the station knew that it was going to be a busy day. To top it all off, radio communication was down and the ambulance had starting issues. Kelly was in a good mood though. They had finally learned the truth about Shay’s death, and he really felt like that brought a little closure. His already good mood improved as Beth came through the door, carrying two full grocery bags.
Dawson greeted her first, taking one of the bags off of her hands. “What are you doing here? Didn't you catch the part about staying home?”
“I heard something about that on the radio on my way here. About the same time as I passed a crying penguin,” she joked.
Gabby looked from Beth to Kelly, chuckling as she shook her head. “Peas in a pod,” she muttered under her breath.
Beth turned to Kelly with a confused look on her face. “I made that same joke not ten minutes ago,” he explained, taking the other bag from her hands. “What are you doing here?”
“To make soup… and get away from my mom. Figured you'd all be pretty busy today, and cold, so.”
“I'm sure everyone will appreciate it,” he noted as they made their way to the kitchen. “How long is she staying?”
“I have no clue,” Beth said with a deep sigh. “She doesn't have a return flight and she keeps changing the subject everytime I ask. I hope soon though. She's taken over my entire apartment… even rearranged my cupboards - twice.”
“Wow.”
“Right!? I literally snuck out while she was in the shower.”
“And how many times has she called since then?”
“Just four. I call that improvement.”
Gabby came rushing through the doors, panic written all over her face, a small baby in her arms. “Someone just left her under the Safe Haven sign,” she breathed out.
“What?” Beth exclaimed as she hurried over. “People actually do that?”
Tags: @campingmonkey @deansgirl215 @thevelvetseries @graniairish
#Chicago Fire#chicago fire fanfic#chicago fire fanfiction#Kelly Severide#kelly severide fanfic#kelly severide fanfiction#kelly severide x reader#kelly severide series#kelly severide angst#kelly severide fluff
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Hello! I recently read your azul's ficlet and i'm close to crying at how beautiful it is (its 4am emo hours). If its okay, may I request a ficlet of Jade with a gn!reader with the word 'sleep' or 'rest' (pick whichever suits better!). Thank you in advance! 💖
CW: Spoilers for the movie Your Name (Kimi no na wa), character death, body switching, angst with a happy ending, and slow burn (sort of)
Feedback in greatly appreciated!
Thank you to @opalmaplehibiscus , @jellyfishstuckinwonderland , and @raven-at-the-writing-desk for the input in the making of this fic. I greatly appreciate your help.
The Possibilities are Endless
“My name is..”
“Please remember me...!”
The crowds on the train pushed them apart, a braided bracelet was tossed towards Jade. A lifeline connecting both of them together, a connection between two souls; the face of one that was desperate to keep holding on, they yelled one last time just as the doors of the train closed and their grip on the bracelet wrap loosened.
“My name is—!”
Jade opened his eyes and he was in his room, his very dark room. To his side was his closet and to the other a white wall. The sound of bubbling water churned behind the window of his dorm room and with one slow blink, he pulled himself up and hunched over.
The same dream, the same voice, the same bracelet tossed to him.
He craned his head to his lamp stand where the colorful wrap lay next to his earring, he doesn’t remember where he got it nor does he remember why he wanted to keep it for so long. He took the bracelet and looked at it and thought back to the voice in his dream.
“Please remember me...!”
Pushing himself off he moved to the mirror to fix his appearance, with his brush and hair gel in hand he let out a gasp when the lights of vanity shined light on a note. A note written on his cheek with a marker, a message he didn’t remember writing.
“Who are you?”
It was during breakfast that Jade began to notice the strange happenings around him, how Azul asked if he was feeling better or how Floyd said he was wearing his earring again. “What do you mean,” Jade questioned. “I always wear it.”
“You weren’t yesterday. And you looked so lost like some little guppy, you even forget how to get to class yesterday morning.” Floyd complained, eating his breakfast with a huff. “Was it a prank? Cuz’ you got me good.”
What was he doing yesterday?
He woke up, went to school...No. That wasn’t what happened. He didn’t recall anything from the previous day. In fact, he remembered being at a different place.
In a city full of buildings and faraway from the sea, the familiar smell of white roses, the smile of an unfamiliar fellow and a bento box he had no recollection of him cooking or making.
His uniform wasn’t black but a cream with a tint of yellow, his magical pen was nowhere to be seen and was instead replaced with a pen nib brooch. He touches his cheek, remembering the message written on his cheek. “Who are you?”
“C’mon, you gotta tell me.” Floyd pestered, his arm over Jade’s neck “Was it a prank?”
“Perhaps.” The twins laughed, Floyd pulling close but in his mind he thought of the message, his incapability to remember the previous day. He needed more answers but only questions filled his head.
His notes were a mess and full of sketches. There were sketches of Night Raven’s facade and the students, his classmates. A slew of messy messages on paper, the handwriting worrying as if the person writing was stressed beyond belief.
“The uniforms are black, the gems are pens.”
“Nothing but roses for miles.”
“Wishing well???”
“Where am I?”
“Mr Leech, please read the next line.”
“Yes, sir.”
Trein’s brow raised and he blinked. “Well, today you actually remember your name. Perhaps you were just feeling ill.” A hum of laughter passed through the class. “And your hair is fixed as well; I was beginning to think you and your brother switched places when you came into class with a messy bed head.”
Jade blinked, tilting his head. “I...see. I’ll make sure to not make that mistake again, professor.”
“Good. Continue on reading.”
“Magic transcends all meaning when twilight occurs, when the sun and the moon share the sky for a single moment.” Trein explained, using a magical pointer. “The word twilight means ‘half-light’ when the light of the sun glows and causes refraction in the atmosphere and signaling the end of the morning and welcoming of night or visa versa. At times like this does magic become unpredictable and free-forming and when realities begin to overlap each other for the time twilight occurs. This was used to the advantage of the earliest magician in recorded history.”
Trein faced his students. “Nowadays, these times of day are known as dusk and dawn as the world twilight has fallen out of favor in recent years.”
“It’s probably because of that one book.” A student yelled from the rows behind and Trein nodded his head. “Ah, yes, ten years ago was an odd time for the word ‘twilight’.” Trein blinked, shaking his head slightly. “Who would have thought the human body produced so much diamonds but that is beside the point.” The bell rang and the students began taking their books. “Be sure to read up on your lesson today, we will be having a quiz tomorrow on the topic.”
Jade stayed in his seat for some time and stared at the diagram on the board.
Twilight.
In the back of his mind, a flash of a memory comes to him. He remembers a train stopping by and the droves of people coming in and out. Jade was alone that time, buying something some seeds or fungi. The sun was setting at the time, the yellow sun turning orange and the sky dimming to a nightly violet.
“Jade.”
He didn’t know the person who called out his name nor did he remember what they looked like but he did remember the smile they had, as if they were looking for him for a long time, it was a face relief.
“It’s me.”
He didn’t know who this person was nor did he ever remember their face and yet, at that instant he seemed to have known them his entire life. In his heart was a feeling of warmth, of glee, of content and relief; he was confused by it all. A strike of panic pierced his heart when that smile turned into a confused and upset frown. “You don’t...remember me..?”
The next stop came and people began filing out, pushing the two of them away from each other. “Jade, please remember me!” They said as they were pushed out by the crowd. Reaching up, they pulled the braided tie from their hair and threw it out of him. “Please remember me..!”
He caught the braided tie just as the other let go and doors began to close.
“My name is—!”
“Is there something wrong, Mr Leech?” He blinked, looking to Trein with confusion. He had missed the door and stood by the wall of the classroom. “Ah—I’m sorry.” There was a hissy laugh from Lucius as Trein set him down on the table to collect his papers. “You seem to be in deep thought, is there something on your mind?”
“No, professor, I was just thinking about our topic today.” Jade lied through his teeth and Trein took it with a huff. “I know twilight is a regular phenomenon but I didn’t know that it was an important time of day for mages and magicians.” A nod came from his professor. “Many people nowadays don’t see its importance as magical materials and magic itself have grown and changed over time. With the new technology and the new breakthroughs we have, the archaic practices of the past have since then been abandoned.”
Trein looked to the window and Jade followed his gaze, the sun began to set and the color of orange and violet painted the sky. “Twilight has begun.” Picking up his beloved cat, Trein stretched his back and moved to face the student in front of him. “It’s best to get back to your dorm, you might miss the curfew.”
“Professor, have you ever experienced anything during twilight? Like the way you’ve explained it during class?” Jade asked suddenly, his professor’s eyes widened then looking to the side to think for a moment. “I have but they were more of dreams than the otherworldly claims of recording happenings. I would often see myself in another person’s shoes, seeing a world I did not know about, it wasn’t a pleasant experience but...It was interesting, for a dream at least.”
“I see. Thank you very much, professor. I’ll be on my way.”
He stared at his messy notebook unblinking, the messy handwriting and the sketches were foreign to him. He drew a few doodles but he never put any detail to it nor was he able to do sketches of his peers in movement.
“Where am I?”
Taking his pen, Jade wrote a message. What had happened to him wasn’t a dream, he knew that and he knew that what he was about to do wasn’t a sure fire guarantee that whoever wrote this will see it but the unpredictability of the situation allowed him to push through with an eagerness to see the end results.
“You are in Night Raven College. My name is Jade.”
The night loomed over the dorm, the once blue waters a dark purple and tinge of black. Twilight has ended. Jade closes his eyes for a moment and sighed, thinking back about the lesson and to the confused glances of his peers.
“Please remember me...!” The voice begged, the image of a braided bracelet flowing through the air as it flew towards him. Tugging his sleeve, the bracelet was wrapped around his wrist snugly; its design was simple and bright mix of blue, yellow, and red.
“Please remember me...!”
Jade tugs his sleeves back down, only stepping out of to his bed when he felt tired. The bracelet was removed from his wrist and sat next to him.
“My name is—!”
The voice echoed through his mind, he felt that he should remember it, he felt like he should know who it was, and all he felt was frustration and eagerness to see this unpredictable situation through. He closed his eyes wanting to rest his eyes rather than sleep.
“So this is what Night Raven College looks like. It’s very pretty, your uniforms are very pretty too but I’m not used to the environment there. It’s probably because of the walls or the silence.”
It had been a few days since the messaging through the notebook began with Jade and his pen pal, of sorts. It seemed that his new pen pal had been observing weird happenings to them too. Their classmates telling them of their weird behaviors, one time all they ate were mushrooms.
“I don’t even like mushrooms and because of you I ate a whole lot of them in just one day!”
It seemed that his odd dreams of seeing another world unlike his own weren’t dreams after all. The white and yellow uniforms, the sweet smell of lilies, and the pen nib brooch all pointed to Royal Swords Academy. Apparently the person he switched bodies with studied there.
“And I was told that I ate eel for lunch and it upset my brother. It seems both of us are even on this regard.”
He always wrote messages on his notebook the moment he got home and he preferred it that way rather than waking up to writings on his face and arms. The marker ink was hard to wash off, even with large amounts of sudsy soaps.
“We have a notebook to communicate for a reason, please use that.”
“I like writing on your hand, Jade.”
There were moments that he expressed frustration with them, even anger but that soon dissipated into childish antics of messages written on skin, eating disgusting foods they came to like, and a bond that transcended physical reality. They were from two different worlds and yet, here they were being friends.
All this was just like a dream to him.
“Hey, about that braided bracelet...Where did you get it? I had one just like it before it disappeared; I used to wear it on my hair.”
“I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to that. It just came with me, I suppose. I couldn’t part with it for some reason so I’ve been wearing it ever since.”
“I guess we just so happened to have the same braided tie, huh? Hehehe!”
After class, Jade went to experience the twilight hour for once and see the students filter out of school and run about. It was the end of the week and it was a time for fun, brooms flew overhead and magical swirls of dust were thrown about by fun-loving students.
“What I like about your school is that none of you are afraid to get dirty and have fun.” He remembered his pen pal writing. “I love RSA but the uniforms and the rules we live by stop us from having fun like all of you there in NRC.”
He couldn’t blame them, RSA had some rules to go by and the uniforms really stopped them from having fun too. The chaos that he saw in RSA wasn’t like those in NRC, not by a long shot but he could see the charm it had in it despite the difference in school life.
Jade wanted them to experience this first hand one day. In their own body, of course.
He went back to his room when the sun had disappeared and the moon stood in its place. Sitting by the notebook, he took his magical pen from his pocket and began writing his response to his pen pal’s recent message.
“RSA has beautiful scenery, there’s no doubt about it. It’s a nice change of pace from the gothic feel NRC has, I find it rather peaceful. Though the sudden music lessons do tend to throw me off but that is something I will eventually come to get used to.
He tapped his pen on his desk, humming at his short reply. He looked at his wrist; the braid coiled around his wrist and was vibrant under the yellow light of his lamp. Unlike them, he never really gave hints of what his school life was about nor did he give details of what it was like to spend a day in RSA.
“We had a lesson about the magical phenomena known as Twilight. Apparently around that time, magic becomes different and realities begin to overlap...Do you think that’s what’s causing us to switch bodies?”
“Twilight...I’ve heard of that phenomenon too! It actually makes sense, maybe that’s what's causing it but if it’s really true then that’s some real strong magic!”
Jade slept that late that night, the braided tie next to his forehead. For once, he didn’t dream of the train station but of a hand coming up to take his own. No, it wasn’t his hand, it was his pen pal’s hand, and it grasped softly then tugged for him to follow.
He was on a mountain, the sky glittering with millions upon millions of stars. It was a beautiful sight, his eyes widening as the stars grew closer and closer, the heat around him rising and rising; burning his skin and singing his hair. The world around him was destroyed and the last thing he heard was the terrified scream of someone he was beginning to hold dear.
He awoke with a gasp, his eyes tearful and his lungs out of breath. Next to him were a concerned Azul and his brother Floyd. “We could hear you gasping from the hallway.” Azul explained but Jade kicked off his covers and ran to his desk, his notebook, their means of communication was empty. The messages he had collected with them were gone and only his own remained.
His brother tugged at his shoulder. “Look at me.” He was whirled around, their foreheads touching. “Breathe. You’re gonna give yourself an attack if you don’t breathe.”
He closed his eyes, leaning against his brother to breathe harshly. A pair of hands pats his back, Azul’s and Floyd’s, in an act of comfort but none of their touches reached Jade. He was too confused, too shaken up, too anxious. “It was just a bad dream.”
A dream...
What he had seen in the eyes of his pen pal was all a dream...?
Pen pal?
“It’s best that you get some more rest.” Azul said, pulling Jade back to his bed. “I’ll explain to the teachers what happened to you.” Floyd nudged him down and pulled the covers up until his brother’s chin. “We need you well rested, Jade. We’ll have the others check on you every once in a while.”
He forced himself to breathe slowly and carefully, his eyes screwed shut and thoughts in a whirlwind. His memories scrambling and confusing, he tries to remember the train station, the lake that was on RSA’s sloping hills and the falling meteorite.
Had there been a meteor shower? There was no news of it, no indication.
A hand caressed his head, shushing his sounds to silence.
“Sleep, Jade.”
The next day, Jade spent all his time in the library with books about stars and meteors and sleep being the furthest thing from his mind. He poured through the articles about meteor showers, checking online news sites, and pouring through scientific documents.
Nothing.
No recent reports of a meteor shower anywhere near the area of RSA or NRC.
A frustrated sigh left Jade’s lips and he held his head with a huff, burying his fingers into his hair when a fluffy tail rubbed and pawed against his arm. “Good to see you’re up and about, Mr Leech.” Trein stood over him as Lucius stepped over the articles to sit on one of the books.
“I didn’t know you were taking a liking to astronomy.” The professor commented, taking an article and reading through it. “Meteor showers, eh? I haven’t seen those for some time. The last one was beautiful but also very tragic.”
“What do you mean, professor?” Jade stared up at his teacher, slightly surprised.
“You weren’t in NRC at the time this happened but there was a meteor shower that passed by Twisted Wonderland, it was a festive time...But that soon became a tragedy when a fragment broke off from one of the passing meteorites.” He sighed, closing his eyes and setting the paper down. “Though NRC and RSA have been rivals for a long time, I can’t bear to think such a catastrophic event would happen to them.”
His heart skipped a beat, eyes wide in surprise. “You mean to say...”
“A meteorite fragment fell on RSA three years ago, specifically on the field just outside the school where some students were watching the shower. Those poor children...”
The white crystal of his magical pen glowed bright and Jade pushed himself off his chair, figure hunched forward and head hung low. Lucius let out a meow as he scrambled away from the student. “Mr Leech, what are you doing?” Trein demanded but his voice fell on deaf ears, Jade remembers his last dream, the last time he switched bodies. He remembers the falling meteorite, the scream that wasn’t his own, he remembers them.
His pen pal.
In a burst of magic, Jade disappeared from his position leaving a scared Lucius and a confused and upset Mozus Trein.
The landscape around him was heavy, the crater left by the meteorite was massive and no traces of life were seen within the impact zone. The memory of the meteorite fragment falling right on top of his pen pal, killing them instantly played again and again in his head. Jade, normally so aloof and calm, fell to his knees.
They died.
They died where he stood.
For the first time in a long while, Jade screamed his heart out. A wail of agony loud enough to echo through the empty void that was essentially his pen pal resting place. He sunk to his knees and continued crying until his throat became hoarse and painful.
He laid on his side as the sun went down, the braided tie peeked out of his blazer.
“Please remember me—!”
The train station...Was that a dream too? What had he been doing when he was in there? What was he there for?
Who was calling out his name.
“Jade...?”
The sun set over him, the sky turning orange and violet. It was twilight hour.
“Jade..”
“Jade.”
There was a touch to his shoulder and a soft shake. His head turned, his eyes widened. A student from RSA stood over him. They smelled of white lilies, uniform a mix of white and yellow, and their magical crystal a pen nib brooch. There was a familiar gleam in their eyes, a smile he came to know from the many days they had switched bodies.
His pen pal smiled at him, offering their hand for him to take. “It’s really you, Jade. It’s actually you.”
They laughed, pulling Jade into a hug; his tall figure dwarfing them easily as they hugged his chest. Jade sighed, returning the hug soon after and rocking each other back and forth for a few moments the sun shined in the horizon.
“I thought I lost you, y’know?” They said, looking up at him. “I just...I suddenly couldn’t reach you.”
“I thought you had died. I saw the meteor fall on you.”
They looked at each other for a moment and a laugh was shared, their foreheads linked together soon after. “I know but...somehow, maybe...I don’t really know what happened to me. I just couldn’t reach you to tell you what happened on that day. I nearly forgot about you and I cried for days wondering why.”
Pulling away, they looked down to Jade’s wrist. “Hey, that bracelet...”
“You gave it to me in the train station.”
It was all coming back to him now. This person, his pen pal, was someone he held dear for a long time.
He felt comfort.
“Oh yeah! I did, didn’t I?”
“Do you want it back?”
“No. Keep it.”
The two held hands for some time but were immediately thwarted by them pulling out a marker. “Hey, why don’t we write our names? That way, if we ever forget each other there’ll always be a reminder. Ah, but I don’t have any paper with me...”
Jade offered his palm, his smile teasing and knowing. “You always liked writing on my skin.”
They shared another laugh and the marker’s cap was pulled off, Jade looking over the horizon as they wrote their name on his palm. “Your turn.”
He took the pen from them and as soon as he wrote the starting strokes of his name, the marker fell from his grasp.
The twilight hour had ended and the moon took over the sky.
“Eh...? What am I...doing...?”
Jade was found by his peers not long after, taking him in and letting him rest as they descended the crater near RSA. Mozus Trein was their chaperone, explaining to the staff of the rival school and covering his own students.
“Someone he knew died here,” He explained, looking at Jade being covered with a blanket by his brother. Jade’s eyes were closed and he leaned against him, clearly exhausted from the ordeal and exposure to the elements.
“I’m very sorry to hear that, professor.” Said one RSA’s employees, brows upturned and frowning deep. “The meteorite crash was a very tragic event for all schools. I can’t imagine how much grief that young boy has gone through knowing that a friend of his died that day.”
“I hope you can look the other way on this. I know we shouldn’t come into each other’s premises without proper—“
“It’s quite alright. I’ll explain the situation to the headmaster once everything has settled.”
Floyd pulled his brother to his chest and stood up, Azul placing a hand on his back.
“Let’s go home, Jade.”
Jade wasn’t alone that night, Floyd and Azul wouldn’t allow him to be alone. They slept next to him, keeping him company but while the two slept, he couldn’t. The moon shone against his window and gave his room a very soft blue glow. He raised his hand to his face, the message from someone he held dear was still visible but slightly smudged.
“Thank you.”
Bitterness rose in his chest and to his throat, his brows furrowed in frustration. The tears forming stung his eyes.
“You idiot,” he brought his palm to his face, sniffling. “I can’t remember you this way.”
A year had passed and the dreams stopped coming after that night. Jade had picked up the habit of sitting outside during twilight hour, watching the set and holding the bracelet that never left his wrist for more than a second. He wore it everywhere he went but when asked; he never had a proper reason for it.
“I feel complete wearing it.”
The yearly magical shift festival brought troves of customers and onlookers, Jade and his brother sat on a bench and let their legs rest after a long day. “I’m gonna go get something to eat. You want anything?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll buy some myself.”
“’Kay.”
Jade was left alone after that and he closed his eyes for a moment, his nose taking in the different smells of food and perfumes.
There was a familiar smell of white lilies.
“Excuse me.”
A person stood in front of him, holding a brochure. They were a uniform of white and yellow and a pen nib brooch. They smiled at him and familiar warmth bloomed in his chest. “I don’t mean to disturb you or anything.”
Their smile was sheepish but it felt as if he’d seen it somewhere before.
“Do we know each other by any chance?”
“I think so.” Jade’s smile was easy and suddenly their eyes began to water. “I had a feeling we did.”
“Hey,” Jade reached over and intertwined their hands, the bracelet’s colors were vibrant against his skin and theirs.
“May I…”
“Can I…”
“...Know your name?”
#works from the typewriter#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#jade leech x reader#jade leech#twst jade leech#twst jade x reader#angst#jade ficlets#this took me so long to write oml#twst#twst x reader#gender neutral reader#gn reader
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❝𝕀𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕠𝕠𝕡❞
𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:
⇢ Episodes 3-4
𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:
⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. requests and feedback are highly appreciated!
⇢ script form (name: lines) are the interviews
EPISODE 3
she was shown tucked under her purple blanket still sleeping while the others were starting to wake up
while jin makes his way to the upper house’s kitchen, she slowly gets up and checks her phone
“11? already?”
the next cut you see is of her in lounge shorts and a big shirt instead of her pajama set waddling her way to yoongi and attaching herself to his side
“oppas,” she wrapped her arms around his waist, tucking herself under his arm, “how do you guys have so much energy right now”
“aigoo, our makdungie just woke up,” seokjin cooed while hoseok just squished her cheeks in an attempt to help her regain her senses
“wake yourself up, princess, then come help me with ingredients” “okay”
she helps yoongi with the vegetables, him making sure to take the onions away from her
she was giggling with hoseok at yoongi’s face when he was cutting up onions
hoseok had her in a back hug with his chin on her head while yoongi stirred the ingredients together. her job, despite being the best cook in bangtan, was adding the cheese
miya: i’m actually pretty good with meals, but if i don’t cook alone, the oppas usually make me do the minimum. something about it being dangerous?
the older members passed her off to jungkook as soon as he got there
aaaaand the two maknaes disappeared
a clip of them talking while walking towards everyone else played. their conversation was hushed, though, and the background music just played over it. the subtitles read “maknaes are quiet in the morning”
she headed over to the grass in front of the main house where she started doing stretches. she did basic stretches then went on to a few more advanced ones
namjoon saw her from a distance
“yoon-ah, are you okay over there?” “i’m okay!”
after her stretches she just ended up lying on the grass and scrolling through her phone
eventually she just plays music and puts her phone in a safe spot then entered the trampoline
she shook her head amusedly when she saw jungkook, taehyung, and hoseok jogging past her
she starts hopping around the trampoline to build up momentum and, next thing you know, she’s practicing different gymnastics tricks
you don’t see her for a while
she’s next shown in the main house sitting next to yoongi, excitedly bouncing in place while opening a box
“i can make makeup! oppa, look!”
the editors replayed the clip, emphasizing on how all four boys in the room turned to her
she excitedly took stuff out and started setting up while animatedly telling the boys about everything she could grab a hold of
yoongi was just nodding and humming in response every now and then while the other three did the same but while doing their own activities
until she eventually became way too focused to talk
around the time jungkook and taehyung are boxing each other, she turned to jimin
“oppa, sit still!”
and she places something on his lips with a grin. it was lip gloss with pink glitters
“ooooh it looks nice” jimin poked at his lips while checking his face in his phone
“i should sell these,” she laughed and closed the containers
then she heads off somewhere with the box holding all the cosmetics
the next clip of her is when it’s raining. she’s sitting on the roofed area of the deck on the boathouse with her guitar and a notebook. she’s just mindlessly playing the guitar while watching the rain
miya: there was something calming about watching the rain hit the water… i guess i just don’t see it too often nowadays. not much in the past few years, actually
she’s next seen when yoongi stops by to bring her with him over to come with him to get his recording equipment
“we’re making a theme song?” “looks like it.”
she just laughs and follows him after setting her guitar and notebook down in her room
she’s in giggles when namjoon’s recording “in the soop” and hoseok’s kinda just coddling her and laughing with her
she’s lying down on the floor while jungkook was building toys. hoseok comes in and tosses them both a pair of sweatpants and calls them for food. she could smell the food when she opened the door.
“pajeoooooooooon!”
she comes running to the tarp and shouting excitedly. the older members laugh fondly
you can see her and jungkook cheers makgeolli a few times on the side
she smiles at taehyung when they’re telling him he can flip the pajeon next “oppa fighting!”
the steam from the soup goes towards her face and she scrunches up her nose “it’s so humid wait”
she applauds when taehyung successfully flipped the pajeon and when jungkook did the same
“can i cook beef tomorrow?” and yoongi just looks at her “you and me in the kitchen tomorrow” and she just sits back with a satisfied smile
they’re all singing and she’s giggling on the side “you guys sound like drunk ahjussis”
somehow she’s curled up on hoseok’s lap all giggly and he looks at her “our makdungie is tipsy from the looks of it”
EPISODE 4
at the start of the episode you can see her curled up in yoongi’s side and playing a game on her phone
“how much makgeolli did hobi sneak you to make you tipsy?” “honestly, oppa, i don’t know”
the next you see her, she and jungkook are in his room, a bottle of soju between them, and just talking
“you know, i didn’t expect that we’d be this close at first”
yoonmi laughed at his statement “neither did i. you came and were kinda scary”
“it was completely new to me having a girl around,” he defended himself while pouring them another shot each, “but i found my best friend that way”
they clinked their shot glasses together and downed their current shots
“it’s a little funny, isn’t it?” she asked him
“what is?” “the fact that we became best friends. most guys your age at the time would have found it weird hanging out with a little girl”
he scoffed “i’m different! besides, i think it’s because the hyungs said it takes a while to get close to you, and i wanted to be the fastest”
she poured them their next shots “your competitive streak never died down”
they took their shots and sat in silence for a little bit just letting their music play from jungkook’s phone
the captions read “the two maknaes are communicating through the silence” while they just sat there and drank their soju
“hey, have i ever thanked you?” she asked all of a sudden
he raised an eyebrow at her, “for what?”
“everything,” she laughed, “taking care of me, being on my side, being someone i can talk to”
“many times, yeah,” he chuckled “you do the same thing for me, anyway. that’s why we’re best friends, remember?”
“then why do you always toss me around like a doll” “you look like a doll, face it”
she laughed while pouring them the last of the soju
“cheers to best friends and being bangtan’s maknaes,” she held her shot glass up “sleepover today?”
he laughed and clinked their glasses again “sleepover any time”
miya: ggukoo oppa, we’ve been friends since we were kids. we grew up together, so i guess we understand each other a lot? sometimes we have deep talks, sometimes we sit in silence. sometimes we fight, and sometimes we team up against the other oppas.
jungkook: i think people don’t understand that mimi and i have a deeper kind of dynamic rather than just the childish image we usually have together on screen. us talking like this is something we do a lot, and it brings us both a lot of comfort. clarity, too
then there’s a mini montage of them talking, but their words are muted and music played over them. there are bits of them laughing, drinking, and maybe letting out a tear or two before they just got into jungkook’s bed to go to sleep
when taehyung goes to the boathouse to sail his rc boat, he checks on them. the editors put a clip of jungkook and yoonmi sleeping with the caption “maknae siblings are tired from talking until 4am”
a while passes, and there’s a clip of jungkook sitting up in bed, yawning and rubbing the back of his head. he looks around the room a little before shaking yoonmi awake
“hmm?” “come with me to the main house” “okay”
the scene cuts and you next see them in the main house, jungkook working on his glider with yoonmi lying down next to him, her head on his lap and still half-asleep while namjoon and jungkook talk
“sleep late, yoon-ah?” “ggukoo oppa and i stayed up until four i think”
her mumbling was slightly incoherent, though and namjoon just laughed and patted her head
when he gives up on the glider, his hand rests on yoonmi’s head, lightly massaging for a bit before transferring her head to namjoon’s lap and heading to cook
“joonie oppa?” “hmm?” “are you reading?” “yeah, why?” “could you read out loud?”
namjoon’s just reading stuff out loud while she’s listening intently to every word
namjoon and taehyung headed up to the upper house first while she sat by the kitchen and waited for jungkook to finish what he was cooking
she opened her mouth as he turned around, just in time for him to pop a piece into her mouth “let’s go”
she settled into taehyung’s side and slowly began to eat after thanking the older members for the food. yoongi chuckled at her sleepy demeanor
“you’re taking a while to wake up today, princess” “ggukoo oppa and i had soju before sleeping”
“i like the melon,” she noted, making taehyung grin at her and nuzzle his forehead against the top of her head
she took over drying the dishes for namjoon and kissed him on the cheek “stay safe on the way back, oppa” “you, too”
she ended up cleaning up with jimin, humming a little song. she was telling him about the dream she had where they all performed live again. once they finished, she went off to sit with hoseok and read while he customized his shoes
“oppa, if it turns out good, you’re going to have to make one for me, too!” “ooooh matching shoes? you’ve got it”
jimin came and started customizing his shoes as well after briefly petting her hair
she went inside so jimin could use her chair and sat next to taehyung who pulled her into his lap. he rested his chin on her shoulder while she read
when it came to packing up, she was muttering to herself while folding things into her carrier “should i have done more? i feel like i was too boring… oh well”
jimin walked into her room and leaned against the door frame
“need help, aegi?” “... yes, please” he helped her carry the bag with her clothes and the bag with her recording and producing equipment while she carried her guitar out
she ended up playing a vr game with jungkook where they had to break boxes to the rhythm of songs
there was a lot of giggling and laughter while they tried to distract each other with jimin on her side and taehyung on jungkook’s side
“ggukoo oppa’s cheating!” “uh huh, get your revenge later, let’s eat first”
she pouted at seokjin’s words but took of the vr goggles and skipped outside
“thank you for the food!” and she digs into her jjapaguri
she laughed at the reactions part until hoseok turned to her “why are you laughing? you can’t hide it the most!”
“only to you guys! but to everyone else, i can fake it”
she put her bags and guitar into the car yoongi drove and was surprised when yoongi told her to her to get in shotgun. she did and saw seokjin walking towards them and the car in front driving off
“pretend you’re asleep, princess”
she quickly closed her eyes and faced yoongi, struggling to hold in her laughter when she hear seokjin trying to open the door
she just lost it when yoongi drove off
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Coffee puns and wayside milkshakes
Pairing: Seokjin x reader (idol!jin, non-idol!reader, established relationship)
Warnings: some light swearing, really bad puns
Summary: Busy schedules have made it impossible to spend time with your boyfriend but he makes sure to assure you that he is still thinking of you. So even though he has promotions during summer he takes the time to plan an amazing road trip just for the two of you. Even if it is just to the drive thru in the next town over.
Genre: fluff gone into crack or crack gone into fluff
Word count: 3,020
Rating: g
A/N: This is part of the @bangtanwritingbingo event! Chosen square number 1 is 'road trip'. I made it pure fluff which i have to admit i thought i would be completely terrible at, but the more i write the better i get at it (hopefully). I had so much fun writing this! It was also once again meant to be a drabble, but....that is clearly something i have to work on. Enjoy some really bad puns from me!
Copyrights @joyfulhopelox for both the work and the banner
“Tell me again why are we up….” observing the still and dark atmosphere out the window you sighed, “at the ass crack of dawn?”
Normally, you would not question your boyfriend. Even when he would make stupid jokes or do stupid things, which acted contrary to his close-to-30 age. You trusted him completely, you may even say you trusted him with your life. And yet, this morning or night, you were seriously questioning his sanity. Have his schedules gotten to his head? Has the tiredness of constant practice and promotions made him lose it?
“Just you wait, love, i told you it’s a surprise” he shushed you, excitedly jumping out of the warm bed. Not wanting to get up just yet, it was 4am in the morning for God’s sake, you burrowed yourself deeper into the warm sheets whilst commandeering his pillow. “Love, come on get up. The surprise will not work if we are late” Seokjin whined.
“No, 5 more minutes” you grumbled into the pillow. It smelled of him and that comfort was slowly getting you back into the dream world. A dream world where a normal Jin would wake you up at a normal time, and you would get to spend a normal day together, gaming and cooking. But no, reality had to be shattered, instead this Seokjin was tugging at the duvet whilst patting your leg. “Okay, 5 more minutes whilst i go wash up but then you have to get up. We have to be in the car in 30 minutes” he warned, breaking you out of your dreamworld.
Basking in the comfort of the bed until you hear the bathroom door close, you decide that you were awake enough to face the chill of a summer morning. Throwing the blanket off of you, you gave the window a dirty look. As if it was the cause of your distress. It was summer, why was it so dark outside early in the morning? Because you woke up, correction because your lovely boyfriend woke you up at an ungodly hour. “I swear Kim Seokjin….” you mumbled to yourself. Making your way hurriedly to the kitchen, your form still wrapped like a burrito in the blanket you decided you needed caffeine, and fast.
“Love, now is not the time, we can’t be late” jumping at the whiny voice of your boyfriend you turned around, and when recalling this story to his friends, Jin would swear that he physically felt your murderous gaze stabbing him. “Kim Seokjin, if you do not allow me to have at least one cup of coffee before we set out onto this whatever it is” motioning wildly in the air “i swear i will make your life a living hell forever, even after i am dead i will haunt you until you are dead, and even in death i will haunt you” rambling on you failed to notice the amused expression on Jin’s face. God, you were adorable. However, as soon as you had finished your rant and you gazed back at him, for the sake of his life and his family jewels he straightened his pose and nodded at you in an attempt to be serious.
“Of course”
Satisfied you turned back to making your coffee, and some for the road. You knew that as active as Jin was at the moment, once on the road he would harass you for a sip. And if there was one thing you could not stand, it was sharing your coffee.
“Hey Y/N, what do you call a sad cup of coffee?” Oh no, here we go again. “Jiiiiiin” you whined, “it’s too early for this, what do you call it?” despite having complained about his bad dad jokes, you secretly enjoyed it when he made them. The jokes were not amazing most times, but seeing him so happy and hearing his laugh was what made them the best jokes you could have ever heard.
“A depresso” bursting out laughing fully at his own joke made you giggle at him. He was adorable, and he was all yours. Fondly gazing at him you shook your head whilst still giggling. His infectious humour was better at brightening your day than any coffee.
“Very funny baby, now let me finish making this coffee so we can leave. You’re the one in a hurry” you stuck your tongue out at him.
“Ah, yes indeed” he rushed to exit the kitchen. Not before turning around to wink at you and blow you a kiss whilst delivering his last one line puncher. “After all, we don’t want to be latte.” You could still hear his laugh even as he reached the other end of the corridor.
“Silly man”
-
Finally with two coffees in tow, you got yourself strapped into the car and waited for Jin to finish shoving into the back of the car what he presented as “top secret and you are not allowed to peek”. So you did your best to not let curiosity get to you and instead closed your eyes in an attempt to get a few more minutes of sleep. As you were drifting off slowly but surely, all you could hear in the background were the constant complaints of your boyfriend arguing with whatever he was trying to fit into the back of the car. And by the way the car was shaking it felt like he was forcing an elephant in there. You smiled gently to yourself, this is what bliss felt like to you. Not those extra minutes of sleep, not the thought of the planned date- which excited you nonetheless, but the knowledge that today was a day where you could spend some time with Jin and listen to him whine, complain, rant, express his love for you, cuddle you and all that in person.
“You alright there love?” you finally decided to check on his well being after another 10 minutes of grumbling.
“Yes, yes. Just trying….to get this thing to…..fit” heaving he let out a triumphal yell. “Done! Now let’s gogogogogo on this exciting road trip!” enthusiastically he opened the car door and jumped in almost hitting you in the face with his arm and whacking his own knee on the wheel of the car. “Oh my gosh, are you ok, did i hit you?” you stifled a giggle, he did not hit you and yet even though he clearly was in pain he made sure to check on you first.
“Jin, i’m fine babe, but clearly you aren’t. Please be more careful” you chided gently reaching over to rub the sore spot on his shin. With a gentle smile he grabbed your hand in his warm one. Despite the chilly air of the morning, he was warm and inviting, his hand on yours instantly heating up your cold ones. “I’m sorry love, I promise i will be” he reached out to cup your cheek with his free hand rubbing your skin and with care as if you were made out of porcelain he brought his soft plump lips to yours in a brief kiss that left you breathless.
“Hey, Y/N?” his lips a breath away from you that made you swear you still felt them on yours, was that wishful thinking? Maybe. “I love you” your eyes skimmed over his features lost in a world of your own and with a suddenly mischievous grin you pulled back from him fastening your seatbelt.
“I love you too, you mocha me very happy”
With an incredulous scoff, Jin fastened his own seatbelt and put the car into drive. “Careful love, you will become worse than me” he warned amusedly, the pride in his voice unmasked. He did love it when you would one up him on his jokes. Sometimes you would make a competition out of it, an unannounced one so that neither of you could have pre prepared comebacks and see who won. Most times you lost miserably, and the times you won you were absolutely certain that Jin went easy on you. He was the fountain of knowledge when it came to puns.
“But Jin, i am worse than you” giggling like idiots, you turned your gaze to the window prepared for the trip ahead. You had no idea where you were going but as long as you were with Seokjin, you would be absolutely fine.
------------
“I swear to god Kim Seokjin, you plan a trip in the middle of the night to somewhere, lord knows where, and you don’t even think to consider checking the gas tank????”
As the car slowly sputtered and came to a stop at the end of the road you turned to look at your desperate boyfriend. “Oh nononnononono, this can’t be happening. I was meant to stop at a station as soon as we exited the city” trying to get the car to start again you bit your lip. Maybe it was the fact that you had placed your trust fully in him, or the fact that he was so sure of this trip, or the fact that he had bragged about this trip for a while now but this end you had not foreseen, and so it made it incredibly amusing for you. 30 minutes outside of your own city and the car had run out of fuel. If it weren’t for Jin’s distressed pleas for the car to start up and for you to forgive him for ruining this trip you would have burst out laughing a while back.
Deciding to end his misery you grabbed for his hand, now clammy from stress. “Babe, it’s ok. Let's just get out of the car and try to call someone to check the car out. We ran out of gas, it happens” rubbing your finger over the back of his hand in an attempt to call him you used your other hand to try to look for your phone.
Only to remember that in your hurry you had left without it. Groaning, you did not want to panic Jin more than he was so you did not mention your own phones. Knowing him, he’s forgotten his at home on purpose. On days when he had plans with you, he would make it a point to not spend time on his phone. Thanking your lucky stars you at least had your cards with you and some cash.
“I’m really really really sorry love” Jin gave you a pleading look. Shaking your head you sighed and opened your door. “Come on lover boy, let's get this situation fixed”
A couple of steps into the trek you finally hear the car being locked and the sound of pounding footsteps behind you. You walked in silence for 15 minutes, neither of you knowing what to say. You were decently tired and hungry but more worried about Jin’s state of mind. On the other hand your boyfriend was berating himself for ruining a perfectly planned day and probably making you upset for doing so. Finding the service phone by the side of the road you quickly phoned for someone to come and fix the situation and they informed you it may take a couple of hours to get to you. But it was better than nothing. You would probably miss entirely what Jin’s planned for you but you could always make the most of what you currently had. Now, on the way back to the car you finally sneaked a glance at your own boyfriend.
Catching his own worried gaze you looked away. You were in the middle of almost nowhere, stuck, without a car or food, it was still extremely early, and yet all you could think of was how handsome Jin looked. In the soft morning glow reflected on his skin and his messy hair stuffed under his cap, you realised how lucky you were. Misinterpreting your long stare he bit his lip, “Are you angry?” You did not want to respond to him, not yet at least. If you did you would either burst out in giggles or you would end up trying to comfort him, and you had no time to spare at the moment. Was it mean? Probably but you swore to yourself you would make it up to him. “Love” he kept insisting, “Y/N, are you angry?” Only when you heard the sadness creep into his usual tone of voice did you stop and look at him.
You opened your mouth to reply to him, but he would not allow you to speak yet. Afraid that you would start telling him how awful of a boyfriend he is, gone for long periods of time and when he is finally home he clearly cannot do anything proper, he starts stumbling over his words trying to explain himself to you. “Love, i’m so so so sorry. I did not mean for this to happen. I had the whole thing planned, i was going to take us to the seaside today so we can watch the sunrise and sunset on the beach like you have always wanted, and we were going to enjoy a picnic and a nice dip in the ocean and i was going to take you to the fair at night time so we can ride the ferris wheel and have a romantic kiss at the top and…”
As adorable as you found a rambling Jin, his red cheeks, his lips which were now extremely swollen from how much he bit them, you could not let him torture himself much longer. You were worried he may end up having a self induced anxiety attack. And you definitely were not angry as he seemed to think you would be.
“Love” you tried once, but in his distress he had stopped listening to you. “Jin” and again, finally having had enough you took three strides towards him and placed your hand over his mouth in a gentle attempt to get him to stop talking.
“It is ok. I am not angry. Not by a long shot. I don’t care about sunrises, I don't care about sunsets, I don't care about ferris wheel rides, I don't care about picnics. Seeing the hurt in his eyes you immediately added, “ I don't care about all these things if they don’t happen with you. Plans get ruined, that is why they are plans. We could have spent the whole day in our pjs and had a coffee pun competition whilst playing games and i would have not minded. We could have spent the whole day just literally doing nothing but staying in bed and I would have not minded. The thought of you even just planning to put all this together even when you are so busy is more than enough for me. Please stop apologising about this. I am not mad at all”
Jin reached out delicately and lowered your hand away from his mouth. “But it’s because I've been so busy that I have fucked up immensely. I wanted to do something nice for you to show you how much I care about you. Being away all the time is hard especially when all i want to do is have you there with me all the time but knowing that i can’t.” A strand of your hair had been blown into your face by the wind and he took his time to fix it for you, his hand dropping down onto the hollow of your neck.
“Babe, i would want nothing more than to be able to be with you all the time, but unfortunately we can’t. And you would get sick of me anyways” you laughed gently. Jin was about to protest but you continued. “ You show me everyday how much you care about me, no matter how busy you are you always take your time to talk even if briefly. You always send me cute pictures and pictures of food, which make me really jealous by the way” Jin laughed, his eyes crinkling.
“And when we do actually get to spend time together we have the best of times no matter what we do. Not because we are doing something out of the ordinary but because we are spending time together. If i’m with you i don’t care what we are doing, it’s the best time of my life” You slowly rose on your toes to press your lips to his. Seeing it as an opportunity Jin tightly wrapped your arms around your waist and lifted you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist with a squeal. A kiss that was meant to last a few seconds ended up with you propped against the side of the car wrapped around Jin’s sturdy frame.
“I love you” he whispered once he settled you back on his feet. “So so so much”
Prepared to answer with a confession of your own, you felt your stomach grumble. The moment now interrupted, both of you started cackling. “I love you too babe,” patting his chest, “but you know what I would love more? Some food.”
“We have a bit more to wait until we get this situation fixed” As if a lightbulb had been turned on Jin jerked away from you. “Wait here” running around to the back of the car he opened it and pulled out a cooler and two tumblrs. Ignoring your inquisitive looks he opened the cooler and got out some vanilla ice cream. Reaching out into the boot again he pulled out a pack of fresh strawberries. Laughing you finally understood.
“Milkshakes?” He held both items in his hands proudly.
When you had told him you would give anything in exchange for spending time with him you meant it. Whether the road trip would have been a success in the end, or you just called it a day after you got your car sorted. But just sitting there on the wayside by the car enjoying your makeshift milkshakes and each other’s company was complete perfection to you and you would not have it any other way.
#bangtansummerbingo#btshoneyhive#btswritingbingo#seokjin x reader#seokjin fic#seokjin scenario#bts fluff#i write because i enjoy it
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fonulyn’s 2020 in fics
this is kind of exciting since in 2020 I did get a lot writing done, and it marks the second year in a row that I’m able to actually make one of these posts after that horrible not good at all terrible disastrous three and a half years when I wrote absolutely nothing. so it’s a triumph to get another one of these up! personal victory haha.
in total, in 2020 I wrote 148 fics, ranging from like 200 words to 34k (idk if those short things can be called fics but i just did). by pairing, there’s
13 of Joe/Nicky
58 of Piers/Leon
56 of Chris/Leon
(1 with Piers/Leon and Chris/Leon)
5 of the ot3 (Chris/Leon/Piers)
11 of Krauser/Leon
3 of Wesker/Chris (lmao still can’t believe this)
1 of Chris/Leon/Krauser
so. in retrospect, i did okay.
it’s over 300 thousand words and I am kind of. surprised. and that is not counting the approximately 50k of wips i’m ignoring :’D
I’d also like to take a second to thank everyone who has ever sent me nice messages, commented on the fics, left reblogs or kudos, and the like. you’re what kept me going, I wouldn’t have gotten even half as much done otherwise.
without further ado, links to all of the fics under the cut! they’re organized by pairing, and the links take you to tumblr posts (bc I’m lazy) and a lot of them have a link in the post that takes you to ao3. (also can you see I put ~~so much~~ effort into naming the tumblr ficlets :’D feel free to laugh at me)
Joe/Nicky
a dog by any other name | 1,5k | The one wherein they end up owning a dog.
within the heart a flame of desires | 5,0k | Nicolo watches Yusuf have sex with others, desperately wishing he was with him instead. Until things change. He much prefers having Yusuf all for himself.
the world will wait | 2,4k | The one wherein Joe takes a lot of naps and the whole team gets to relax.
catch this | 650w | Every time Joe gets distracted (by Nicky), Andy tries to take him by surprise.
nobody’s perfect | 1,9k | Even immortal warriors have their weaknesses, Nile learns. Those just aren’t what she expected.
only in these arms | 780w | Nicky has trouble sleeping alone. Andy is a decent substitute, but only when Joe returns so does Nicky’s ability to get a decent night’s rest.
(please don’t explain) that time in Malta | 580w | Nile doesn’t think at first it would even be possible for Joe to be embarrassed. By anything. Until one evening, they talk about Malta.
cool it down boys | 400w | Andy gets no sleep. She gets revenge, though.
cowboy, baby | 340w | Nicky has the fashion sense of a sack of flour, and he is fine with that.
that day is not today | 4,9k | They struggle through the whole lab-experience. It isn’t the time yet to forgive Booker.
tea, soup and tlc | 2k | The one wherein Joe is not sick. At all. Nope. He isn't.
two drinks too many | 770w | Nicky is a little drunk. Joe loves him anyway.
safe haven | 3,9k | The one wherein everyone gets quality cuddles from Joe.
Piers/Leon
it was you that I found | 23,4k | Leon doesn’t really do relationships. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he always seems to be so bad at them. Of course entirely by accident he manages to build one without even realizing it.
unexpected visitor | 690w | Piers is forced on bed-rest. At least Leon stops by.
got me all tied up (never let me go) | 4,0k | Piers doesn’t like suits. Leon loves Piers in a suit.
not so subtle | 210w | “Soo, were you checking me out all night, or was that just my imagination?” Leon asks suddenly, Piers chokes on his drink in surprise.
nighttime fools | 4,8k | Piers and Leon get arrested for public indecency. It’s not their fault, honest.
piers isn’t sick, really, he isn’t (he is) | 670w | “Oh, hi,” Piers said immediately, a goofy smile slipping onto his face. Man, he was happy to see Leon. So happy to see him.
so you’ve met Xena | 620w | “Xena?” Leon turned to look at Piers, decidedly unimpressed. “You named your dog after the Warrior Princess?“
you’re cute, you know | 680w | Piers took the opportunity the second their gazes met. He grinned, as charmingly as he possibly managed, and said “You’re cute, you know that?“
kiss the nightmares away | 470w | Sleepily Piers blinked, trying to make his eyes work properly. He squinted at the digital clock on the bedside, and its harsh red numbers that told him it was 3:30, and confusedly he turned to frown at Leon. “Why aren’t you sleeping?“
smooth talking, Nivans, very smooth | 1,4k | Piers can not control what comes out of his mouth.
dream a little (dirty) dream of me | 1,3k | Piers wakes Leon up. That's it.
your shirt is my shirt | 950w | With a sigh Piers grabbed the only shirt available that wasn’t battery operated and obnoxious. It was Leon’s, so old that the print had faded completely, leaving only faint outlines behind. And when Piers pulled it on he grumbled again, realizing how tight it was.
here for you | 620w | Leon can’t sleep, but somehow Piers makes his anxieties bleed away.
grand plans | 260w | “Are you seriously going to wear that?”
new puppy | 430w | “Hey there little guy.” Leon bent down to pick up the little puppy, straightening again to hold it against his chest. His hands looked almost comically large as the dog was so tiny, and carefully he cradled it close.
a little bit funny | 850w | So maybe Piers hadn’t slept properly in days, and the sleep deprivation was making him a little hysterical, but he didn’t even remember when a stupid comedy would’ve made him laugh so much.
for now our time is here | 4,4k | When Chris had told them to wait up and left them alone for a while, this probably wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but the second he’d closed the door behind himself the tension that had been brewing between Leon and Piers had snapped like a cord.
wanting too much | 1,1k | “Fucking hell, never do that to me again,“ Leon huffed out, clearly relieved beyond anything.
the prettiest agent with the prettiest hair | 1,2k | Piers stress-braids. Leon doesn't mind. And besides, Piers always undoes the braids whenever he's done with them. Until one night he forgets.
you can be the air that i breathe | 1,0k | It wasn’t the first time Piers got punched in the face by a gigantic BOW so hard that the hit sent him flying. It was, however, the first time he was sent careening off a bridge and into the river below. And it was, definitely, the first time Leon saved his life.
before I found you | 890w | The second Piers realized that the spikes covering the monster actually came off, and it was able to shoot them towards its attackers, it was already too late for him to react.
you don’t need to stay | 950w | Piers did his best to take care of Leon. And as much as Leon appreciated it, he didn’t want to be a goddamn nuisance.
need me, baby, just a little stronger tonight | 2,1k | Leon really has to practice perfecting his poker face. At least he gets what he wants in the end.
be my valentine | 920w | “Are you sure?“ Piers asked for the tenth time, frowning down at the bar of Fazer blue chocolate. “I still think it’s… not a lot?”
you're the world that I wanna discover | 7,5k | The one wherein they buy a house, fall even more in love, and Leon reaches a breaking point.
call me (tell me what you feel) | 1,7k | Leon is stuck at the airport. At least he gets a nice phone call with Piers.
incentive to stay alive | 1,0k | "Hey, Nivans, wake up,” he tried, but there was no answer, and he couldn’t help but let the worry in his voice. “Piers. Don’t you dare die on me. Chris would kill me if I let anything happen to his best sniper.”
blanket hog Leon | 880w | Grumbling, Piers turned around, and as he’d expected Leon was cozily wrapped in at least four blankets, leaving nothing for Piers, who was currently freezing his ass off.
I give you all I am | 2,0k | “Leon?” Piers approached in quick steps, watching recognition flicker in Leon’s eyes as he lowered his own weapon too. Leon was slumped against the wall, hunched over and holding his side, and there was something feverish about his eyes. Yet as soon as he realized it was Piers he gave a shaky grin, even if that was all he managed.
why are the gorgeous ones always taken | 810w | Piers blinked his eyes open slowly, expression scrunched up, and it took a long moment before he managed to actually focus his gaze on Leon’s face. When he did, a smile immediately bloomed on his face, and he even tilted his head a little. “Have I died and gone to heaven?” he croaked out, his voice rough from lack of use.
still intact | 1,1k | It took a week before the level of painkillers was correct and Piers woke up with a gasp instead of a scream. And the first thing he asked was for someone to kill him.
of guns and ...guns | 270w | Leon likes the way Piers handles his rifle. There’s drool involved.
always fashionable | 540w | Apparently having a crush on the well-dressed, professional Leon translated into being absolutely fucking in love with the sleep-mussed and squinty Leon.
misplaced phones and revelations | 660w | Chris finds Piers’ phone. Which turns out to be Leon’s phone. The two turn out to be dating. Chris feels kind of blind.
yee-haw! | 1,0k | Leon rides Piers. Wearing a cowboy hat.
you’re cute when you’re angry | 620w | When he’s stressed, Piers washes the dishes. Angrily.
want to drink (with) you | 1,1k | Piers is an embarrassing drunk. Leon loves him anyway.
and each one of us is a path somewhere | 22,2k | Piers gets thrown twenty years back in time. Into Raccoon City, 1998. He’d heard about what Leon went through that night, but he never thought he’d have to actually experience it himself. Together with bright eyed rookie Leon.
hold me close | 560w | Leon falls asleep against Piers’ shoulder.
goatee man | 890w | Piers thinks growing a beard might make him look more manly.
promises kept | 2,9k | Leon finds out Piers isn't dead after all. He's just locked up in a BSAA research facility with no one allowed in to visit.
stay with me tonight (stay until the end of life) | 2,2k | Leon doesn’t know I’m contacting you, but a fair warning, because I’m worried. He was found unconscious on the bathroom floor at 10AM. They took him to the hospital, but he checked himself out. Look after him, okay?
4am | 760w | “What can I say,” Piers grinned against Leon’s neck, “I was dreaming of you.” He had no reservations about moving his hips, letting Leon feel just how nice the dream had been.
caffeinated | 550w | Someone gives Piers coffee. Leon knows what to do with that excess energy.
and i'm you and you're me | 7,0k | The one wherein Leon and Piers accidentally swap bodies.
girls’ day in bed | 780w | Piers and Leon wake up one morning with boobs and other assorted lady parts. It’s a fun day. (Spoiler alert: they have a lot of sex.)
worlds apart | 3,2k | Krauser kidnaps Piers to lure Leon to him. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)
not again | 530w | Watching Piers’ mutation brings Leon some very unfortunate flashbacks. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)
gorgeous | 300w | Piers calls Leon gorgeous.
the most comfortable pillow | 350w | Leon falls asleep with his head on Piers’ lap.
beautiful | 840w | Even after losing an arm and ruining half of his face, Piers is the most beautiful thing to Leon.
as seen in adult films | 580w | Piers doesn’t know one damn thing about dishwashers. He volunteers to fix one anyway.
never letting go | 260w | Leon is goddamn comfortable right here. He isn’t going to move a single inch.
nose kisses | 390w | Piers is cute when he’s cranky. Just ask Leon.
no other half could ever make me whole | 6,3k | The one wherein they get a scare and there's a proposal.
the luxury of being held | 690w | The fabric of Piers’ hoodie is the perfect place to hide. (feat. Theo’s amazing art)
just one step from heaven, one step from paradise | 2,7k | The one wherein Piers makes sure Leon doesn’t freeze, and they enjoy their vacation.
all is fair in war, love and Mario Kart | 600w | Piers sucks at Mario Kart.
Chris/Leon
if i never see all my dreams come true, the one that mattered the most was you | 5,9k | Chris enlists Leon’s help on a mission as a clever ruse to make the man take a break he so obviously needs.
and I don't want to know how slow the time must flow | 11,1k | Chris and Leon try to fight their way out of a castle and feelings take over.
you are my heart, you are my home | 3,2k | Chris is sick, and he’s being extra dramatic about it.
from the gates of longing | 5,5k | Chris volunteers to take Leon home, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.
how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans | 2,3k | Piers accidentally keeps calling Chris dad, and Chris and Leon sort of unofficially adopt him.
right here by your side | 1,9k | When Chris shows up to check up on Leon, four days into his self-imposed flu-exile, at first Leon wants to just throw him out. But then it turns into a relationship-building moment and suddenly he can’t mind all that much.
about time | 1,8k | Leon is freezing. Chris warms him up.
yet you'll lose yourself in me | 3,3k | The one wherein Chris is generously proportioned and Leon kind of loves it. (whispers: size kink)
beyond tomorrow | 1,7k | Leon ends up in the hospital after a mission, Chris hurries to see if he’s okay. Claire is already there.
look at those heart-eyes | 180w | Quickly Chris shook his head, reluctantly pulling his attention away from Leon.
there’s a cat in the sink | 220w | “There’s a cat in the sink, and we don’t own a cat.”
from the future | 300w | It’s 1998 and Leon comes face to face with himself, from 2017.
surprise redfield | 250w | “Don’t worry,“ Chris says, nonchalantly as if it’s an everyday occurrence that he’s standing in Leon’s kitchen.
need this feeling to last (there's no denying) | 2,4k | “Why don’t you fuck me yourself, you coward!“
something solid, something good | 520w | Chris was so warm, and that together with all the glorious skin-on-skin contact made Leon happily sink back into the embrace.
come closer | 520w | Leon is done with Chris being so careful around him.
your arms around me | 690w | Chris woke up cold and alone.
a needed break | 440w | Sometimes Chris got so single-mindedly stuck on a task that he forgot everything around himself.
the iron maiden | 820w | Suddenly it was hard to breathe, like he couldn’t fill his lungs with oxygen no matter how much he tried, to the point that his vision started to get blurry.
robin hood: chris in tights | 480w | Chris’ face was twisted into a theatrical grimace as he tugged a little on the green tights we was wearing. They were like painted on and although he didn’t really have body issues in general, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about it.
luckless romance | 4,0k | Leon and Chris turn a drunken argument into something better. (Please note: The link takes you to the last part of six.)
take my hand | 920w | The worst part, by far, is not seeing anything. There are sounds, people talking like he isn’t even in the room, machines beeping and doors opening, quick busy steps against the floor.
let me take you to the edge of the stars and back again | 3,0k | Chris takes his sweet, sweet time before he gives Leon what he wants.
I’m going to seduce you | 1,1k | Jesus Christ, they’d had sex. Leon groaned again, this time less because of the headache and more because he felt so unbearably dumb. He’d probably had the best sex of his life, and he couldn’t remember it.
a little help | 430w | Those fucking idiots, Claire thought for the millionth time, as she watched her brother give the biggest dumbest heart eyes at Leon, who was blissfully oblivious about everything going on around him.
the way to anyone’s heart (the answer is food, good food) | 2,4k | Chris asks Leon to teach him how to cook. (Spoiler: Leon doesn't know how.)
oh the horror | 270w | “I seriously don’t understand why you want to watch this shit,” Leon groaned, pressing his face into Chris’ chest.
jealousy | 670w | Chris swallowed hard, downed the last of his beer, and took the leap. “I’m jealous okay.”
twist me up | 510w | Sure Chris had always known that Leon was flexible. Sure he had seen him even do these weird-ass yoga poses more than once. There was nothing new to it.
meet the parents | 600w | Leon brings Chris home for Christmas.
precious cargo | 930w | Chris lugs Leon around like luggage.
it's always been you | 870w | The hardest thing for Leon was when someone he cared about was in danger but there was nothing he could do about it. And then Chris fell into a ravine.
come away with me (to another world) | 2,0k | Leon finally gets a vacation.
first time sucker | 930w | “I don’t know, because it’s fun?” Leon said. “I promise you, you’re missing out.”
read my scars | 1,9k | Chris learns about Leon's scars.
battered and bruised | 650w | Ignoring the bruises and scrapes he had, Chris turned around and sprinted towards Leon, gritting his teeth against the strain moving put on his side.
a different kind of proposal | 500w | “If you keep fucking me this good,“ he breathed out, unsure if Chris even heard the words, “I’ll have to marry you.“
welcome home | 370w | The door had barely fallen shut behind Chris when Leon was in his personal space, grabbing him by the lapels of the trench coat he was wearing so he could pull him in close for a kiss.
I’d always choose you | 280w | Ada was something they didn’t talk about. When someone, anyone, brought her up Leon clammed up and changed the subject. And Chris had tried to be understanding, had tried to be patient, had tried his very best to respect Leon’s boundaries with this. But Chris was only human.
fuck or die | 1,7k | Chris gets hit by a weird plant, and his hard-on just will not go down. Until Leon takes matters into his hands.
i need a hug | 470w | “I think,“ Leon sighed, but then it was like all fight bled from him and he slumped a little forward. “I need a hug.“
oh no there’s only one bed | 990w | “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just one night. I’m sure you’ve slept with worse persons than me.”
the butt that became a pillow | 420w | Chris falls asleep on Leon.
like father like son | 2,8k | Leon finds out he has a son.
monster magnet | 1,1k | Leon didn’t know when it had become something he recognized so easily. When had it become so normal for mutated creatures to look at him with such unadulterated lust.
please be okay | 620w | Leon faints from sheer exhaustion.
like father like... grandson? | 4,1k | Liam proposes to a girl but ends up with Piers anyway. Chris and Leon are the friendly neighborhood grandpas. Their grandson is adorable, and Leon thinks he takes after him. Obviously. (feat. Piers/OMC)
black lace | 790w | Chris gets to come home to Leon in thigh high black lacy stockings and matching lingerie, instantly sending Chris’ brains into an overdrive.
at least let me help | 790w | Leon opens the door an inch, Chris uses the given opportunity to slam it wide open. Metaphorically speaking.
bridal style | 200w | Leon refuses the medical check up. So Chris carries him.
dance with me | 1,0k | Wedding planning with two schmoopy idiots in love.
drunken cravings | 480w | Chris and Leon are drunk, hungry, and incapable of cooking.
blow me | 650w | Chris gets his brains sucked out through his dick.
Claire knows best | 610w | Chris tries to set Leon up with Claire. Then Claire does set Leon up with Chris.
chase the demons away | 940w | Chris struggles with nightmares, Leon is there to hold him through them.
dance me to the end of love | 550w | Leon struggles to learn to dance.
Piers/Leon, Chris/Leon
fate changed (we keep loving as if the story isn't over yet) | 34,3k | In hindsight, Leon knew the second he opened the door and saw Chris standing there, dressed in his service uniform, mouth pinched to a grim line and unable to meet Leon’s gaze straight. There was only one logical reason for it, only one way to explain why he was standing there like he would rather be anywhere else, and Leon almost slammed the door right in his face. -- Or the one wherein no one really knows how to handle their grief, but somehow life goes on anyway. (I’m still so proud of this one negl)
Chris/Leon/Krauser
hearts beating fast (let's make this moment last) | 5,7k | Chris gets invited in for a threesome. The clever thing would’ve been to refuse, knowing his unrequited, helpless feelings. But then again, he’s just a man.
OT3
double the fun | 3,1k | Truthfully, Leon hadn’t thought his day could get this much better. Everything had gone wrong from the second he’d woken up and he’d already written the day off entirely, until the moment Chris had looked him dead in the eye and asked “How do you feel about two at once?”
of cuddles and blanket forts | 620w | Piers and Leon build a blanket fort. Chris would think they’re idiots, but they might actually be kind of brilliant.
hair straightener or waffle iron? | 310w | Chris and Piers break Leon’s hair straightener.
the last piece of the puzzle | 2,7k | The one wherein two becomes three.
not alone | 2,3k | Completely on accident, Piers and Chris happen to be there to save Leon from a tight spot. Cuddles ensue.
Krauser/Leon
drive me crazy (your eyes made me crave for this) | 2,3k | It was the best sex Krauser had ever had in his life. That’s why he kept coming back to Leon, kept saying ‘yes’ every single time the man as much as hinted that he might be up for meeting. He was getting off, and he was enjoying every second of it, and that was the extent of it. There certainly weren’t any feelings involved. None. None at all.
enjoying the view | 200w | Krauser likes ass-watching.
carry me to bed | 440w | Slowly Leon was coming back to his senses. Sweat was cooling on his skin, the hard surface of the table underneath him starting to feel uncomfortable.
and I lied that we would be fine | 1,1k | Leon knows he isn’t supposed to be doing this. There’s a vague recollection of something more important, something he should be focusing on, but the vast majority of his world has narrowed down onto the slick slide of their bodies, on the cheap scratchy sheets on his skin, on the sound of Krauser’s voice in his ear, and he can’t bring himself to care.
yet never enough | 1,9k | Krauser likes mirrors.
of wanting | 400w | Leon’s laughter echoed in the room as Krauser pinned him against the wall, before shutting him up with a ravenous kiss.
better with you | 590w | Despite knowing Krauser had his back, Leon was genuinely surprised when the man sat down right next to him instead of telling him to suck it up and get moving.
breakfast | 530w | Lately things had slowly begun to shift. And Leon wasn’t sure yet what was going on. Or how he felt about it.
kill me now | 900w | It was more than clear how much Krauser enjoyed their frantic attempts to kill one another, and Leon’s traitorous body shivered in response, the memory of times long gone returning like no time had passed at all.
lust that I've already spilled | 1,4k | “C’mon, Leon,” Krauser taunted, grinning as widened his stance. “This cock isn’t gonna suck itself.”
will you just look at me | 650w | Krauser refuses to do feelings.
Wesker/Chris
I am the light that shall lead you to darkness | 1,8k | In all honesty, Chris wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up here: a panting mess, bent over a massive wooden table with Wesker holding him down laughably easily.
the light to drown in darkness | 2,0k | Wesker craves Chris. So Wesker takes Chris.
love-hate-(obsession?) | 470w | Wesker is a lovesick fool. If he wasn’t also a homicidal maniac, Jill would almost feel sorry for him.
#the old guard#resident evil#kaysanova#chreon#metaltango#nivannedy#chrisker#kreon#idk what i'm forgetting it's 2 am and i've spent seven hours on this#have pity on me :'D#my fics#2020#this was so much work#i am praying for the links to work properly#so i don't need to touch this again nnhhh
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Nightmares
Ship: Madderton
Word Count: 2146
Summary: Richard suffers from nightmares, calling his boyfriend Taron is the only thing that soothes him back to sleep. One night he turns up in front of Taron’s door and T decides to let him stay for a few days, leading to a few confessions...
Additional Tags: nightmares, fluff, comfort, cheesy, angst,
Requested via chat by: @queenmerabby
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Richard had trouble with sleeping his whole life. There had been anxious nights of tossing and turning, thoughts running wild. There had been trouble with settling down and falling asleep at all. But one thing hasn't been happening in a very long time; nightmares.
His life went almost perfect at the moment. He had finished his newest movie, was healthy and had the most gorgeous boyfriend he could've ever wished for. Taron was perfect; His soft smile combined with those beautiful blueish-green bright eyes that twinkled whenever he smiled. He was attentive, caring, soft, loving and a lot of fun to be around.
They were a couple for six months now, everything went fine, but didn't live together yet. Both had been busy with work in between and so they just never talked about it.
Richard had been with Taron when it happened for the first time. They had been cuddling on the sofa, falling asleep after a while. When T woke up again he went to the bathroom and got himself something to drink, finding Richard squirming on the sofa. Richard still remembers how he woke up panting in his boyfriend's arms and the sweet nonsense he whispered to him, calming him down. Rich had to promise Taron that day that he'd call him after a bad nightmare.
Now he was sitting there shaking, phone in his hand, unsure if this was a good idea. Should he really wake up Taron at 4am? But he promised and Taron would notice it when they'd spend time together later today. He anxiously presses call and wraps his blanket close around him.
"Rich? You're okay?" Taron asks, voice raspier than usual.
"I'm okay... Just promised you to call," he says softly. "M' sorry for waking you up."
Taron rubs his face and sits up against the headboard. "No, it's fine. Having nightmares?" Rich just hums agreeing, not wanting to talk about them. T nods to himself, Rich would open up when he'd be ready. "Can I do anything for you, love?" he asks softly.
"Just wanted to hear your voice," Rich admits as he lays down, putting his phone beside him and on speaker.
"Oh sweetie." he coos softly, lying down again. "I'm glad if I can help you with talking nonsense." Rich chuckles softly at that. "Why don't you try and relax while I'll sing you a lullaby?"
"Sounds lovely." Richard smiles a little and gets comfortable again. What did he do to deserve this sweetheart?
Taron smiles and starts singing to him until Richard gets all quiet and continues for a little longer to be sure he was asleep.
-
After taking a shower and getting ready, Richard drove to Taron's apartment that day. He used his key and stepped inside, finding T relaxing on the sofa in his sweater and sweatpants, hair a fluffy mess. Taron was reading through a script and threw it aside when he saw him. "My handsome love." he makes grabby hands towards him.
Rich chuckles and walks over, getting pulled down and straddles his lap. "Hey, you," he speaks softly and kisses him lovingly.
Taron cups his face and hums into the kiss happily. "Missed ya."
Richard smiles into the kiss. "Was here yesterday, but I know what you mean... Missed ya too."
"I always miss you when you're gone," he says softly.
Richard nudges their noses together, smiling softly. "Thank you for being there yesterday."
"Of course, Richie," he speaks gently and kisses his forehead. He cuddles him close and pulls him down, now lying on top of Richard. "I'll be there for you whenever you need me."
"I love you so much," Rich says adoringly and fondles over his hair.
"I love you too, angel eyes." he smiles and pushes himself up looking down at him. He lets his eyes wander all over Richard's face, studies his full lips, long lashes, and those beautiful deep blue eyes. "Gosh I'm lucky." he breathes out and giggles as Richard blushes a bit. His finger traces down his nose, bopping it softly, and fondles over his lips while he looks deep into his eyes. His fingers run through his hair, playing with the grey streak.
"You're doing that cute thing again," he whispers.
"Looking at you like you mean everything to me?" he whispers back. "Because then you're absolutely right." his eyes get soft and adoring and Richard's heart skips a beat.
He smiles up to him softly and cups his face, caressing his cheeks. Taron searches his look before leaning down as if he's asking for permission. Richard nods softly and Taron's lips sink down onto his. They sink into the kiss, holding onto each other as if they were feared to lose each other right here and now.
"Don't you ever leave me," Taron whispers.
"Not planning to do so," he whispers back.
"I. Need. You. By. My. Side. For. The. Rest. Of. My damn life." he said between little soft kisses.
-
Richard and Taron spent the day cuddling and Rich was showered by sweet things from Taron. Rich found out quite early in their relationship that T always got very sweet and cheesy when he knew he wasn't feeling that well. It was quite adorable.
A few days later he settles down in bed and closes his eyes trying to sleep. It does go well for a while until he wakes up panting Taron's name and feels tears on his cheeks. He sits up shaking and rubs his face tiredly. "Fuck." he breathes out.
Over the last few days the nightmares kept on waking him up and every time Taron was on the phone immediately to soothe him back to sleep.
Richard stares at his phone and feels like it won't be enough to settle down this time. He gets up and gets the sweater of T he has here to put it on. Richard puts on some of Taron's cologne and curls up in bed again, burying his nose in the fabric.
-
Taron wakes up to the sound of his doorbell and sees it's around 3am. He growls softly and pushes himself up grabbing his sweater and putting on some sweatpants. T rubs his face as he walks over to the door and frowns softly as he opens it. "Richie? You've been crying -?" he stops himself and pulls him in, closing the door. His boyfriend looks tired, his eyes are red and puffy, he's wearing his sweater and T can smell his cologne on him. "Come here," he says softly and pulls him into a loving hug.
Richard buries his face in his shoulder and holds him tightly, calming down a little. He knows he doesn't have to say anything or explain himself, T knew what was going on.
"Let's go to bed," Taron says after a while and closes the door. He grabs his hand and leads the way towards his bedroom. They settle down in bed and Taron smiles softly as Rich cuddles into him. "Better?"
"Mm, better," he answered softly.
-
Taron wakes up to Richard whimpering his name later and turns on the bedside lamp. Rich was crying in his sleep, holding onto the sheets tightly as he whimpered his name again. T sits up frowning, Rich didn't tell him his nightmares involved him. "Hey, love, wake up," he said softly rubbing his shoulder.
Richard turns onto his back shaking and whines softly. Taron gently fondles back his sweaty hair and watches him worried. "Babe, wake up."
"No, T, please." he whimpers before sucking in a sharp breath and sitting up suddenly.
Taron sits in front of him gently wrapping his arms around him. "Richie?"
Richard breathes out his name relieved and wraps his arms around him, sniffling softly.
"I'm here, baby," he promises and holds him close, running his hand over his hair soothingly. "You're safe, love, I got you."
"I'm sorry," he mumbles.
"No, none of that," he says firmly and shakes his head. "There's nothing to apologize for." he holds him safely before settling down with him again. He kisses his forehead softly, kisses away his tears, and sings a lullaby. Taron stays up for a bit until Richard is safely asleep.
-
The next day Taron watches him during their breakfast. "You never told me you're dreaming of me," he says carefully.
"Beg your pardon?" he looks up frowning.
"You said my name yesterday, several times," he says slowly. "Actually whimpered it."
Richard puts down his cup of coffee and nods slowly. "I'm... I guess deep down I'm very afraid to lose you," he says quietly and stares down at his hands, not looking up when he hears Taron getting up.
Taron straddles his lap and wraps his arms around him. He kisses his cheek and holds him close, tears brimming his eyes when Richard buries his face in his shoulder, cuddling into him. "You won't lose me, silly," he speaks softly.
"You don't know that." he insists gently, holding him tight.
"Neither do you." he gives back just as gentle. He pulls back and cups his face. "I love you very much, Richie. And this won't change no matter what. You make me feel like no one else." he leans his forehead against Richard's and nudges their noses together.
"I love you too." he smiles softly and closes his eyes, enjoying the comfort Taron spends.
"Stay here for a few days. We can take some time off together," he suggests. "Lots of cuddles, kisses, we can cook together or just order in."
"How could I say no to this?" he chuckles softly and Taron cuddles into him.
-
They do as he suggested and Taron realized something over the last few days. He sits next to Richard on the sofa and takes his hand gently. "Richie?" he asks sweetly.
"What do you want?" he groans softly looking up from his script. Taron had been adorably annoying over the last half an hour.
T grins and kisses him lovingly. "I'm sorry for annoying you." he gently takes his script out of his hands and puts it on the table. "But.. I need to talk to you," he says and sits onto his lap, leaning against him sideways.
"What is it now?" he giggled softly, T usually searched his near when he really wanted something.
He gently rubs his chest and cuddles into him. "Did you have a nightmare since I asked you to stay with me?"
Richard frowns softly but thinks about it. "... Actually, no, I don't think so. Why?"
"Well, maybe you just needed some cuddles during sleeping," T says slowly, working his way forward.
"Maybe yeah." Rich nods and looks down at him. What was he up to now?
"I've been thinking," he continues. "I really enjoyed having you here all the time. But I really want you to go and pack your stuff..." he stops and sees Richard's face going blank. He bites his lip trying not to laugh. "...because you'll need it in our shared apartment."
Richard blinks at him. "What?!" he asks and chuckles softly when he realizes what he said. "You..you really wanna move in with me?"
"Absolutely my dear angel." Taron nods and smiles up at him. "I wanna cuddle with you every night and wake up with you again. As often as possible with our job," he adds.
Richard captures his lips in a gentle kiss and smiles as Taron makes a soft sound against his lips. "That's a yes by the way." he smiles.
Taron straddles his lap and wraps his arms around his neck kissing him passionately. "Mm, that's exactly what I wanted to hear."
Richard giggles into the kiss and pulls him close.
"I love you, angel eyes." he smiles down at him, playing with his curls.
"I love you more, bubs." he smiles back.
"Not possible," he smirks and kisses him sweetly before he can protest.
Richard grins and kisses back happily. He was home and home, he realized once more, was Taron, his darling.
@taron-eggmcmuffin @maddertonmyheart @madderton-obsessed @ispewglitter @dickieandduckie
#taron egerton#Richard Madden#madderton#taron egerton fic#richard madden fic#madderton fic#taron egerton fluff#richard madden fluff#madderton fluff#taron egerton angst#richard madden angst#nightmares#angst#fluff#cuddles
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This is my story off of wattpad that I had just decided to put here, do not repost, if I see this story anywhere else I will ask you to take it down, thank you :)
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Prompt: Virgil lends their sweater to Remus. When Remus is home, he realizes he still has Virgil's sweater and finds Virgil's iPod. Out of curiosity, Remus looks through Virgil's music and finds a playlist titled with Remus's name..
Virgil sat comfortably on the couch, casually scrolling through Instagram (yes, FINALLY, something other than Tumblr-). He hadn't had much to do that day since Patton was out getting things for a movie night, Roman was writing the script for a new video, and Logan was out with Patton, probably just out and about to resupply on crofters since he was running low on them.
It was mid February, and due to the climate in Florida it was still quite cold to say the least. Though Virgil didn't mind the freezing temperature due to the fact he almost always wore his black and purple sweater, he seemed almost unfazed by the somewhat cold atmosphere.
Around the evening is when the anxious trait heard light shuffling behind him and he quickly spun around from his position on the couch, only to spot a seemingly freezing Remus that previously planned on pouncing on him. "Remus? What are you doing here?" Virgil asked, as it wasn't very common for the dark sides to just come along particularly unannounced like that. "Oh the heater part thing in the air conditioner broke over on the dark side and Janus won't let me use his heat coil thingy, so I thought it'd be warmer here, and surprise surprise, it's FUCKING not~" Remus seemed to be speaking in an utterly annoyed an sarcastic tone. Virgil rolled his eyes and tucked away his ear buds, propping his arms up on the back of the couch. "Huh, that sucks now doesn't it" The emo said, still completely unfazed by the situation.
Remus looked Virgil up and down in complete shock. He wasn't shivering, and was acting as though everything was fine. The intrusive side then scoffed and crossed his arms, developing a somewhat snarky attitude towards the smaller side. "How the hell are you so okay with this, it's fucking freezing here! Are you immune or something?!" Remus wasn't very pleased. Virgil made it look so simple and easy to just ignore the cold, it was almost like the emo was taunting him. "Relax Remus, I just have a really thick sweater on. Here, if it makes you feel any better, would you like to borrow it?" Virgil tried to be kind to Remus, as he hated conflict between sides and wasn't one to want to get involved. In fact, Virgil did this willingly, he'd do anything just to see Remus smile just once. It was just a little temperature, how bad could it possibly be?
Remus stared at the emo like he was being taunted once more, but then eased up a bit, seeing there was no signs of mockery in his soft expression. Remus simply gave in, un-crossing his arms and giving a small nod, watching as Virgil then took off his sweater and handed it over.
Remus seemed so happy as he quickly grabbed the sweater and put it on. Though Remus was enjoying himself, this was a decision that Virgil very quickly regret as a cold draft of air hit him like a bus. God it was freezing, yet he plastered a smile on his face as not to let Remus worry. "Thanks emo, this thing really is warm!" Remus said in an almost happy tone. It was rare that Virgil ever saw Remus happy like this since he was mostly intrusive, so like any other side would, he took it all in while he still could. "You're welcome dude, I didn't want you dying from hypothermia, you looked like an angry ice cube." The emo smirked, using his little remark to distract himself from the cold atmosphere. Remus laughed, something Virgil just loved to see, thank god his pale foundation was covering his slightly red face. Though Remus could clearly see how satisfied Virgil was by the decision, and leaned forward, placing and gentle kiss on the freezing emo's face, causing the anxious trait to tense up. "I have to go now Virge, and seriously, thanks for the sweater, I promise I'll give it back" Remus stated happily as he then quickly sunk out. Who's to say he probably snuck out while Janus was distracted, he didn't even give Virgil a chance to speak before he left.
After about a week had past, Virgil had ended up borrowing one of Patton's sweaters, as morality had plenty, so yeah it wasn't his usual style, but at least he was fairly warm. After all, only a few hours after Remus left the week before was when the light sides soon discovered that their air conditioning had broke as well. Back with the dark sides however, Janus had been trying to get Remus to confess on where he had gotten that sweater all week, but as time went on, he had eventually given up. Around this time, Remus was in his room playing around with his mace, he honestly had no intention on giving Virgil his sweater back, as he loved it like his own, but he knew the sad truth was that he had to give it up sooner or later.
As the intrusive side swung hos mace one last time, A small object fell out of the pocket of Virgil's sweater. Remus stopped all he was doing and set his mace aside, picking up the object only to discover it was a dark purple iPod with Virgil's name on it. Being curious, Remus conjured some headphones and plugged them into it, starting to look through his playlists he had saved:
"P!ATD? Of course he would"
"Huh, I..guess.. Billie Eilish makes sense..?"
"ugh, and I think Lofi music would be for his panic attacks, I still wouldn't listen to that"
"AVIVA, again, of course he would."
"MCR, yep, That's Virgil alright, it's sad he only has like 2 songs in this playlist"
Remus went on and on over the playlists, until he came across one that caught his eye, 'reminds me of Remus'. No way the anxious trait really had a playlist dedicated to him, right? Remus clicked the playlist and immediately saw a song that captured his main personality, the one that he used around Virgil:
'Green' by cavetown
Remus had closed the iPod immediately and sighed, he realized the only reason Virgil gave up his sweater was because he cared for Remus, and you know what, that wasn't what Remus had thought at all, he simply thought the emo pitied him, nothing more. Turns out the emo really did like him back after all.
Remus acted quickly, playing a recording of him messing around in his room and locked the door so he could sneak out unnoticed. Once he'd done that he quickly sunk out, hoping Virgil was in his room, and to his relief, he was. Virgil was laying peacefully in his bed, curled up under his blankets, and the room completely silent apart from his very light snoring which Remus had found adorable. Virgil slept in often as he barely got any sleep once the sun set. The intrusive aspect guessed that he fell asleep around 4am today, and he only needed an hour of sleep, but it seemed as though he decided to sleep in the one day Remus decided to confront him.
Instead of waking the emo, Remus had decided to be very quiet and get in bed next to him. If Virgil truly loved Remus, then surely he wouldn't mind.
It had only been a few hours before Virgil woke up, a strong and warm embrace wrapped around his small figure. It had only took him a moment to realize he wasn't alone, quickly turning to look up at who had broken into his room; "Remus.." The younger gently whispered, causing Remus to flutter his eyes open and smile to the small anxious trait in his arms.
Virgil had to admit, he was loving every second of this, he simply looked up at Remus, frozen in silence. He had so many questions; why was he here? How long had he been there? And most importantly, did he even want to be this close to someone like himself. As Virgil's mind trailed off, he felt a pair of lips capture his as he felt his waist was being strattled. The emo didn't resist nor comply, he simply screwed his eyes shut, a few small tears falling from them. Oh how he dreamed of this, how he wanted nothing but to be loved like this.. He'd been longing for someone to love him back...
The kiss lingered for a moment before being broken, Remus placing a hand against the emo's cheek. It was firm, yet so gentle and loving. The intrusive side then used his thumb to wipe away any tears Virgil had, and gave a comforting smile "why didn't you tell me sooner Virgil" he asked kindly, a tone that Virgil rarely ever got to hear. "I was scared.. You'd reject me.." He spoke with pure honesty, and slight guilt for not telling sooner, after all he was the embodiment of fear and anxiety. Though nevertheless, who could stay upset at a face like Virgil's?
Remus chuckled as he sat up, scooping up the smaller trait and placing him in his lap and peppering his face with kisses. "it's okay now love, you don't need to hide it from me anymore, I've got you" Remus sighed out, reassuring Virgil that he had absolutely nothing to be afraid of. A beautiful moment of silence quickly followed those words, and Virgil almost immediately fell asleep in Remus's arms after that. He hadn't felt this loved and relaxed in god knows how long since he was always careful and on edge. It was a wonderful feeling, so great that it put him to sleep. Remus simply chuckled once more, laying his new lover back down as he took his place beside the younger trait, wrapping his arms around Virgil as he then too, drifted off to sleep.
Words: 1694
Sanity: 100%, this was beautiful
My sleep schedule: it's 1am and I have school, so idk, you tell me- :/
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Everyone Deserves Love chapter 5
A/N: They have met! And now they are stuck together! Will Barba be able to not be an asshole to Devon? Will he stop rolling his eyes? Tune in to find out!
Just kidding; this chapter starts off on the next day. About halfway through, it jumps, so watch out! I do put the dates, so they are kinda important. But in case you miss them, I think I also generally put in a sentence explaining the jump. I also totally head cannon both Barba and Fin as super not-morning people. Also also, I spent...too much time looking up knife wounds for this to be as accurate as it is. Triple also, obligatory straddling/pinning down scene while training >.>
Shoutout to my friend Adrian in Colombia, who translated Spanish phrases for me. They are in English in parenthesis next to the Spanish.
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Tags: blood, stab wounds, knives, fighting
Words: 11k+
Apartment of Rafael Barba
Friday, January 28th. 4:00am
Devon was the first awake—not something new to her. Actually, it was incredibly rare that she wasn’t the first up; ever since taking the UC in California, she had trouble sleeping, exasperated by the time difference. There was just too much going on in her mind, especially now, having to protect someone for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Plus, the root of the problem (that she refused to admit, even to herself) was that she was always on alert, always afraid of resting, even for a few hours at night. She never felt safe, even when she wasn’t working a job. Her place in the FBI was one that she loved, but it also put her in harm’s way often. She knew that she had enemies out there: cartels, mobs, gangs. But she never had anyone come after her directly. She had buddies in high ranking FBI positions, and even in the CIA, that would routinely check if they had heard about a hit on her, but it has only happened a couple times in the past, and always a one-person vendetta. Not a whole gang, like what Barba now faced. Even so, Devon was always on alert, even when simply walking down the street.
So, when she woke up at 4am to a quiet loft on this Friday morning, it was no surprise. She got up, stretched, then got on the floor. She did pushups, sit-ups, stretches, lunges, and every other exercise she could think to do when in the living room of a loft—no chance for a run, and even less of a chance to hit the gym. Barba didn’t look like the “gym” type. Devon chuckled at the thought as she worked. Once finished, she snuck into the bathroom in the hallway, praying that Barba was a heavy sleeper; waking him up early was probably not a great start to the day. She stripped quickly and hopped in the shower. She had shampoo, conditioner, and soap in her grip, plus deodorant, toothbrush and paste, and a variety of perfume.
She prided herself in being prepared for anything that fate threw at her; she collected perfumes and outfits for her job as a chameleon. She was damn good at blending in, and she planned on doing that today. She knew that Barba was…less than ideal as a victim; he was abrasive, spiteful, and seemed to dislike having her around—last night seemed like fatigue took out some of his bite. But she could play into that; she planned on wearing neutral colors, wearing natural-colored makeup, and donning a soft perfume. She wanted to look as plain as possible, wanted no one to notice her. Wanted to just be another face in the courthouse. The only thing that gave her away was the badge and gun on her waistband—though her jacket hid them unless at the right angle—and a knife strapped to her upper thigh. The sheath, straps, and hilt of the knife was black, which blended in with her black slacks. Ever since the UC in California, Devon kept the knife on her at all times—well, maybe not while sleeping.
Dressed and feeling refreshed, Devon tiptoed out of the bathroom. There was no sound from Barba’s room, so she assumed he was still asleep. She opened her laptop and wrote up her report from the day before; she’d have to have a report for every day for Olivia, plus a report for her boss, Jenkins. Even though she wasn’t technically working for the FBI for this, she knew that he’d want a debriefing at the end of this. Soon enough, she heard Barba’s muffled alarm go off, heard him haphazardly slap it until it turned off. He let out a groan and the bed creaked as he stood. A couple moments passed, and then the tale tell sound of a shower starting up filled the loft. Devon finished Olivia’s report at the same time Barba opened his bedroom door, walking quickly to the living room. He was dressed in a sharp black suit, bright blue tie bringing out the green of his eyes. He wore a strong cologne, his hair slicked back; he looked handsome, but his face showed that he was not quite awake yet.
He looked at his watch; he was running a little late today. He sighed, then jumped when he saw Devon sitting on the loveseat, fully awake and dressed. He had forgotten in his rush that she had stayed the night, had thought it might have been a dream.
“Good morning~!” she sang out, closing her laptop. She packed it into a small computer bag, then went to disable the screaming doorstop. Once disabled, she placed it on the coffee table.
“Morning,” he replied, groggily. He grabbed his briefcase and went to open the front door. Devon cut him off, opening it and poking her head out, checking the corridor. Barba caught himself rolling his eyes; he remembered that he resolved to be a “good victim” for her, no matter how ridiculous her safety precautions seemed. Once determined clear, they both made their way to the elevator. His phone went off and he looked to see who was texting him this early. Oh, Olivia. Of course.
Fin and Rollins are outside your loft, ready to take you to work
Barba couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes this time as he responded. I agreed to having one babysitter, not three
Liv wrote back almost immediately. Just get in the car, Barba
The elevator doors opened, and Devon took the lead again. Barba informed her that they had an escort this morning and who to look for.
Devon let out a giddy laugh at some unknown joke, and Barba wondered how someone could be so perky in the morning. “How Liv got Fin out of bed this early, I will never know.” Barba smiled at the fact that someone was as grumpy as he was and followed her over to the detective’s car. They greeted each other, and Barba saw Devon struggling to hide a smile as Fin was downright nasty. He said nothing as he waited for them to get in, Rollins not nearly as successful as Devon in hiding her smile at Fin’s expense.
1 Hogan Place
Friday, January 28th. 7:30am
Fin dropped them off in front of the DA’s building and barely waited for Barba and Devon to get out of the car before he peeled away.
“I know that some people aren’t morning people, but jeez,” Devon chuckled.
“And I thought that I was moody in the morning,” Barba replied. Devon turned to the doors but stopped when she saw Barba turn the opposite direction.
“Trying to ditch me already?” Devon admonished, whipping around to face the same direction.
“Of course not; I just want some good coffee before I have to deal with shitty office coffee,” Barba said. He looked both ways, then did a little jog across the street. Devon, seeing the only coffee stand across the street, kept up with the ADA easily. She looked around on high alert, looking at everyone who even glanced their way. She had her gun on her hip, like normal, but realized two things; 1) it would be too slow to reach for it if someone came at Barba with a gun already drawn, and 2) it probably wouldn’t look good to the public if she did have it drawn. Instead, she opted for the knife she kept strapped to her outer left thigh. It was over her clothes, but it had a button release so that it couldn’t be drawn without hitting the button. She hit that button now and kept the short throwing dagger in her left hand. She was ambidextrous when it came to hand-to-hand combat, including with knives; they were her specialty. She actually felt more competent with a knife than with a gun, but until recently, she hadn’t been given the OK to use them in the streets.
“Did you want something?” Barba asked, pulling Devon’s attention to him. She realized that they were standing at the window, Barba having already ordered. The barista was looking at her expectantly.
“Oh, sure, sorry. I’ll have a large mocha, please.” She looked at the menu really quick, realizing that she hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, and added, “and a poppyseed muffin, please and thank you.” The barista nodded and went to grab the muffin. “Thank you,” she said to Barba as he pulled some bills out of his wallet.
“No problem,” he gave her a puzzled look. “Where were you just now?”
Devon gave another quick glance around their surroundings before answering, “I’m just trying to make sure you don’t die right now.” She said it as a joke, but the realness of it settled on Barba.
“Well, I’m glad you’re the one staying on top of it. I’m not even awake enough to consider throwing a punch right now,” he smirked, grabbing their coffees, and thanking the barista—Jordan, if memory served. Barba tried to hand Devon hers before realizing that her hands were taken up. He knew that she had a muffin, but he was shocked to see a knife glinting in her left hand. Devon hesitated a moment before sheathing the knife at her side—he didn’t even notice the holster strapped to her leg, it blended in well—and took the coffee.
“Thanks again,” she said before taking a sip. Barba opened his mouth to warn her; Jordan may run the best coffee stand in town, but his coffee was also notorious for being incredibly hot. But Devon was able to take a sip, not even flinching. She lowered the cup from her mouth, clicked her tongue a couple times, tasting the coffee, before swallowing and saying, “this coffee is hot as hell.”
Barba laughed at that; a nice sound, Devon noticed. She was glad that he seemed a little looser today than yesterday. Maybe it was just nerves that made him that crabby the day before. She couldn’t blame him; the flood of adrenaline and emotions that come from narrowly avoiding death can sour anyone’s mood, especially twice in as many days. At least this smoldering coffee would make for a good weapon, since she didn’t have the hands for a knife right now.
They quickly made their way back across the street, into the DA’s building. Barba was shocked when Devon didn’t insist on leading him; instead, they walked side by side. It was only once inside that he figured out why; the building was bustling, even this early. Attorneys, police officers, and other general people moved in and out of hallways, ducking into their offices. Barba and Devon weaved their way through the throng, quickly making it to his office. Once there, Devon ripped into the muffin while Barba prepared his first court case for the day. Devon offered him some of her muffin—“you should really eat something before going and standing all day”—but he declined; he had a stash of snacks in his desk. He pulled out a small package of nuts and ate them while he made sure his case was solid, or as solid as it was going to be, going over every little detail that he could think of. Once it was 8:30, Barba gathered his things, mentally aligning himself with his work self; he was in no way a saint outside the court, but he was downright devilish in the courtroom, and he knew it, prided himself on it.
Devon had since finished her muffin and mocha and stood when she saw Barba gathering his things. She made a last-minute decision, leaving her laptop behind; she wouldn’t be able to work in the gallery anyways. She muted her phone and followed Barba out of his office. What had always seemed like a short, easy walk from his office to the courthouse now seemed to take forever. Devon’s head was constantly on a swivel, watching the crowded street, marking every person who looked a little too long, who gave a weird look. One man reached into his pocket and Devon’s heart leapt into her throat until she saw him simply pull out his phone and start typing. This is going to be a very, very long job, she thought.
It was a relief when they made it to the stairs leading into the courthouse. If Barba felt any of the anxiousness that Devon did, he showed no sign of it. Instead, he seemed calm, collected. He took the lead up the stairs, and Devon let him. He knew the courthouse better than she did, so she let him lead her through the winding hallways, keeping an eye open to the people around. They made it to the courtroom, and Barba went up to his normal table, while Devon sat directly behind him, turning to look at everyone who opened the door behind her, just in case. She still didn’t particularly enjoy being in a courtroom, but her fear was much more manageable, thanks to the time she spent with ADA Casey Novak. This quickly became their routine for the whole day; they walked together to whichever courtroom Barba was assigned, He went to the table while she sat and watched from the gallery as he destroyed the defense’s case over and over again. Devon was impressed with how well he conducted himself in court, glad to see he was just as capable, even more so, than the past ADAs she dealt with. Then they would leave, sometimes going back to his office, but more likely, heading to another courtroom. They broke at around 2pm; they hid in Barba’s office and ordered takeout while he worked on some papers and she trolled the FBI database for information on the Aces. They barely got their food by the time Barba was called into the DA’s office to ask about the attempt on his life the day before. Devon was honestly shocked it took that long for his boss to mention anything. She strong-armed her way into the DA’s office with Barba, much to his chagrin. The DA—Jack McCoy—wasn’t too pleased about it, but she knew how to deal with his type. She let Barba relay in brief detail what had happened, and then explained that she was there to protect him. Seemingly satisfied with that, McCoy kicked them both out of his office. Afterwards, they hurried back to Barba’s office, and got a couple of bites in before it was time to go back to the courtroom.
“I’m sorry about this,” Barba said, indicating the food. “Don’t get much time to eat in this profession.”
“Don’t be, it’s fine. Work is work,” Devon smiled. She knew what it was like to not have a moment to yourself, let alone to eat. And the last thing Devon was, was a complainer. So, they went back to the courtrooms, the cases, the defense vs. the prosecution. It wasn’t until 6pm that they made it back to his office. Only two of the cases had ended in convictions today, but they were in Barba’s favor. Devon marveled at how well-spoken he was in court; she may be a negotiator, but she wanted to learn some of his tricks. Maybe she’d pick them up if she watched him work enough.
Barba put the takeout container down, sighing contently. “I promise that most days aren’t this intense. Maybe a week or two every other month. I’m not normally in court this often. I’m usually in here, prepping,” he gestured at his office.
“Why the big case load?” Devon asked. She was genuinely interested; she had never worked closely with a lawyer before, especially an ADA. She didn’t know the ins and outs, but if she learned, maybe she could add that profession to her repertoire of fake jobs she took while undercover.
Barba sat up a little straighter in his chair. “Besides the one case that got moved to today from yesterday, there was a huge sex trafficking bust a couple months ago. A lot of the people involved took a plea, but the ones who didn’t are finally getting processed. Those two cases from today will be continued tomorrow, but after that, it should slow down.”
Devon nodded. “I forget how long the courts take, sometimes. I’m actually surprised that their being processed only a couple of months after the fact.”
“Through some legal maneuvers, and with urges from the mayor, the DA was able to speed up their trials.”
Devon gave Barba a knowing look; she knew how the Big Bosses pushed around things that they wished to. Liv complained about 1PP all the time, and she had experienced it every now and again with the Feds.
“Well, I don’t mind; running around so much means time goes by much quicker.”
Barba smiled at that, “sometimes, too quick. Speaking of,” he looked at the time, “I think that’s it for tonight.”
Devon looked at the clock on the wall. 7:05pm. “Wow, calling it early, eh?”
“I try and not spend my whole life trapped here, as much as it appears otherwise,” he replied. Devon grinned, standing up. Barba stood as well, grabbing his things. Devon swung her laptop bag over her shoulder, unsheathed her knife—she wanted less conspicuous tonight, and her gun still felt heavy in her hand--and made her way to the door. Barba waited behind her, without prompting today, as she cracked open the door and made sure the coast was clear. It wasn’t until after the elevator doors opened, letting them off, that they noticed how many people were still around. Devon kept the knife by her side, though she kept her arm loose, flexible, ready to defend. But they met no obstacles as they made their way outside. Devon was shocked to see that Fin and Rollins were once again parked outside, readying to escort the two back to Barba’s place.
“Liv said she texted you,” Rollins said as an explanation. Taken aback, Devon took out her phone and noticed that there were a couple missed texts from Olivia. Then it dawned on her; her phone was still muted from earlier. She’d have to remember to keep it on vibrate from now on. She sent a quick apology text, promising to call once they were secured at Barba’s place.
Apartment of Rafael Barba
Friday, January 28th. 7:30pm
“Today wasn’t so bad,” Devon commented after hanging up her call with Liv.
Barba had been working on the coffee table again and looked up. “No, it really wasn’t. I hope I’m not being lulled into a false sense of security, what with no attempt on my life today.”
Devon was going to joke about how the night was still young but thought better of it. She realized that she still didn’t really know this man; she didn’t know his humor, and she didn’t want to worry him. Besides, today really had been pretty good; she didn’t notice anyone tailing them, or anyone threatening. But that just seemed to add to her anxiety; they went from back-to-back attacks to nothing. They could be taking this time to plan. She was going to have to be more alert the next day.
After a couple hours of work, they both said goodnight, and made their separate ways to bed. And with a full day together done, this became their framework for every day afterwards, never really deviating from the norm.
Apartment of Rafael Barba
Monday, March 16th. 9:36pm
“When did you join the FBI?” Barba asked. They were eating pizza for dinner in Barba’s loft. It had been almost 2 months since he was shot at, and Devon took on the job of bodyguard. There hadn’t been an attempt since, which only made Devon more nervous; her head was on a swivel, eyes never settling on anything for too long. Sleep had been becoming harder and harder for her, eyes snapping open at every creak. If Barba was feeling nervous, he didn’t show it; he just went about his day as if nothing were different. At least Liv had called the day before to tell them that 11 Aces were now in jail; the only good news they had gotten. But none of them were talking to the SVU detectives about the hit.
Devon thought about how much she wanted to say. She chose a simple answer. “I was recruited when I was 20.”
“Recruited? How do you get recruited to the FBI?”
Whoops, wrong use of words. “Carefully,” she said, smirking.
Barba knew her enough to know that he’d get nowhere if he pushed the subject. There were only a couple subjects that Devon avoided, mostly her childhood and family. Barba couldn’t tell yet if she locked her past away because of her training in the FBI, or because it was painful to revisit. To be completely fair, he dodged the question about his parents, too, when she retaliated after he asked her first.
After a pause, Devon asked, “why ADA?”
This was how almost every night went when they weren’t absorbed in their own work. One of them would break the silence with a question, and then they’d get sucked into hours-long discussions. They were slowly getting more comfortable with each other—easy to do when they were stuck with each other all day, every day. Devon had even followed Barba into the men’s restroom at the courthouse, to his embarrassment. It took some arguing, but she eventually checked every stall and left, not allowing anyone else in until Barba had finished and come back out, still red in the face.
“To be honest, it wasn’t my first choice…or a path I even considered until my last years in high school.” Barba thought back to his high school years, to his past career choices. He never had a “dream job;” he actually felt like he was living it now, even if it wasn’t something that had crossed his mind as a child. “I had no idea what I wanted to do as a kid. I played around with some stupid hobbies, but they didn’t pan out. So, in high school, I just started taking classes that sounded interesting. I ended up taking a criminology course and fell in love, as cliché as that sounds.” Barba smiled at the memory. “I did well enough that I got a full ride scholarship to Harvard.”
Devon nodded; she liked hearing stories of people finding themselves, finding their passions. She was glad that Barba seemed motivated; he actually loved his job, instead of being forced into it by his parents. Though, she was curious what his idea of “stupid hobbies” was.
Barba thought a moment, then asked, “you said you joined the FBI at age 20. Does that mean you skipped college?”
Devon grimaced. “Uh, yeah, I never even applied.” She tried to shut out the memories from that part of her life, but the familiar knot formed in her stomach.
“Say you quit the FBI; you’ve had enough, and you’re done with all of it. What profession would you go into?”
Devon thought for a long time. It had been so long since she even considered doing a different job. “I’m not sure, actually. I’ve been in the FBI for nearly two decades. They don’t exactly teach job skills outside of my profession.”
Barba scoffed, “come on, you must have had a dream job when you were a child, right? What would you have done if you never joined the FBI?”
Devon knew the answer to the latter, but she knew she couldn’t tell him. I’d be in jail. Instead, she answered, “I didn’t really have a dream job lined up. When I was in high school, I only ever thought about college as just a way to get away from my parents; I had no long-term goals. I honestly didn’t even see myself as attending college, not that I could’ve afforded it, anyways.”
Barba was at a loss for words. He tucked the small nugget of information about her family into his mind, which answered an earlier question; she didn’t talk about her family because it was painful. He could certainly understand that.
Both of them seemed to be content with letting the conversation die there. It was getting late anyways, and Barba had yet another early morning the next day, though not as early as that first day. They went through their nightly routines before saying their goodnights and heading to bed. They both had a little trouble sleeping that night, stuck in memories of past lives, both good and bad.
Apartment of Rafael Barba
Tuesday, March 17th. 4:00am
The next morning, their routine hadn’t changed. Devon was up first, showered, and ready for the day. She had a weird feeling in her gut, so she made sure she packed some gauze and an extra shirt in her laptop bag. She didn’t believe in superstitions, but she did know to listen to her gut; it’s saved her ass before. By the time she was ready, Barba was up and showering.
“Morning,” he grumbled when he came out, voice thick with sleep.
To the untrained eye, he didn’t look any different than normal; sharp suit, sharp hair, sharp cologne. But Devon could see the exhaustion in his expression, in his slightly stooped shoulders. “Couldn’t sleep?” A tired huff was his only reply. “Why don’t I make us some coffee? Carmen won’t care if you’re a little late today. ‘Sides, you don’t have an arraignment until 9:30—we got time.”
Barba was too tired to argue. He sat heavily in the armchair while Devon flitted about the kitchen, scooping coffee into Barba’s French press—something she had teased him about the first time he showed her how to use it (“how can some kid from the Bronx be such a coffee snob?”). While the water heated up, Devon examined Barba’s resting form; his eyes were closed, his breaths were soft. It was almost as if he had fallen back asleep. But he opened his eyes when he heard Devon move to pour the water into the pot. After a couple more minutes, letting the water seep into the coffee the perfect amount, Devon poured them both a healthy amount in to-go cups, pouring in the small amount of sugar she knew Barba liked, and the copious amounts she liked herself.
“Thanks,” Barba said with a small smile, standing and taking the cup from her. She smiled back, then headed for the door, checking the corridor like normal before leading him down to the street.
“What took so long?” Amaro said by way of greeting, though there was no real anger in his voice. Rollins made eye contact with Devon and raised her eyebrows. Devon, oblivious, shrugged and got in the back with Barba.
“Made some coffee this morning. We were up late working,” Devon replied. Rollins’s smile grew, and even Amaro made eye contact with Devon in the rearview mirror.
“Oh yeah? Working on what?” Amaro asked accusingly.
“Get your minds out of the gutter, detectives,” Barba spat before taking a long sip of coffee. If Devon didn’t know any better, she’d swear she saw a blush on his cheeks. But why is he blush—oh, Devon thought, feeling her own face turn red. Is that what they thought they were doing last night? She took her own sip of coffee, attempting to hide her face. They sat in silence for the rest of the car ride, trying to ignore the tension in the backseat.
1 Hogan Place
Tuesday, March 17th. 8:30am
All of the detectives have learned to drop Devon and Barba off across the street from the DA’s building at this point, so that they could get their morning coffee. Even though they both had a cup in their hands, the habit was hard to break, and Amaro dropped them off in the normal spot.
“Idiots,” Barba mumbled as they drove off, and Devon didn’t think it had anything to do with where they were dropped off. Her face was still red, and she couldn’t look at Barba directly. Glad to see SVU is still a gossip ring, she thought.
“Let’s at least grab some breakfast,” she suggested, walking towards Jordan’s coffee stand. Those muffins really were delicious. She heard Barba sigh and follow her.
The tension in the air was still tight, and Devon desperately wanted to say something to change the subject, but nothing came to mind. She looked down at the coffee in her hand, coming up with a weak topic.
“Hey, feeling more awake now?” she asked sheepishly. When Barba didn’t answer, she chanced a glance at him. His mouth was slightly ajar, eyes wide in shock and fear, locked on something over Devon’s right shoulder. Instinct took over, and she threw herself in front of him, coffee flying out of her hand. She had her forearm pushed across his chest, shoving him against the coffee cart, her face inches from his. She felt a pressure that turned to pain in her right shoulder, but adrenaline had taken over, and the pain was soon forgotten. Without missing a beat, Devon whipped around and saw one of the men from the night in the alley—Rogelio Olivera—looking shocked and backing away slowly. His arm was raised, but nothing was in his hand, which seemed odd to her. But she had no time to think about it as she used her momentum, turning towards him to punch him in the face with her left fist. Rogelio went sprawling onto the ground.
Movement in the corner of Devon’s eye caught her attention. Jose, the younger brother and the other man from the alley, was trying to use the diversion his brother set up to attack Devon, knife gripped in his hand. He swung it towards her gut, but she blocked, throwing her right forearm haphazardly into his hard enough that he dropped his weapon. She pushed down on him, letting his momentum carry him downwards, and she punched him hard on the spine with her left, dropping him to the ground. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out one of her pairs of handcuffs and cuffed him before he could regain his composure. She couldn’t get a grip on his wrists with her right hand, though—there was so much blood on her hand, it made everything slippery. In the rush, Devon didn’t think about where the blood came from, nor the fact that the muscles in her right hand weren’t working correctly. Instead, she pushed a knee between his shoulders, forced his hands together with her left, and somehow cuffed him with the right.
“Stop resisting,” she said. Shockingly, he laid still, turning his attention to the right. Devon saw the movement and followed his line of sight to his brother.
Rogelio, who was just getting to his feet, gave his brother a guilty look. He was just out of reach of Devon, so she instead reached for her knife on her thigh. Rogelio saw his chance and took it; he turned and ran. He only made it a couple steps by the time Devon had cocked back her left arm and threw her knife. It twirled through the air perfectly, blade over handle, before embedding itself into his left calf. He stumbled to the ground, yelping in pain.
Devon looked to Barba, who’s mouth was agape in shock and awe, and commanded, “call 911 now. Tell them we need a bus and an officer.” With that, she sat Jose up, telling him not to move, and then made her way to Rogelio. He was clutching his calf, which was bleeding but not gushing, and looked like he was going for the knife. “Leave that there; you’ll bleed out if you don’t,” she advised. She felt like handcuffs were kind of unnecessary at this point, so she half helped, half dragged him to where his brother was sitting quietly, possibly in shock as he stared at the knife protruding from his brother’s leg.
She looked up as Barba hung up his phone, his hands shaking, eyes still wide. “Are you okay?” she asked. In the madness, she never looked to see if he was injured or not. Mentally, she berated herself for even letting this two get close enough to attack, getting distracted by some idiotic rumors. Stupid….
“I’m fine; are you okay?” His voice was full of concern. When Devon squinted in confusion, he continued, “there’s a knife in your shoulder.”
As if he had spoken it into existence, pain shot through her right shoulder. She looked and was able to make out the hilt sticking out of her back. That…explains a lot, she thought, remembering the pain she felt earlier after shielding Barba, the blood, and not being able to use her hand while cuffing Jose. She looked at her right hand, now covered in red, flexing and closing her fingers. At least those still worked, albeit weakly, but she was unwilling to test the full motion of her arm, at least until the knife was removed.
“Never better,” she tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace. Sirens were going off in the distance; the ambulance was coming. Devon looked around at the gathering crowd, noticing that most of them had phones out, filming everything. Great; if the Aces didn’t know Barba had protection, they did now. With any luck, they wouldn’t hire anyone outside the gang to take him out; hopefully, it was a personal enough hit that they wouldn’t outsource. Either way, Devon was going to have to make some calls, keep an eye on known hitmen. She ignored the people murmuring about police brutality, and just tried to focus on the next steps. No one looked like they were about to take a shot at Barba, but she still hovered near his side, just in case. The pain in her shoulder hurt, but it wasn’t extreme; she’d had worse before. Though, the blood starting to pool at her feet, dripping off her fingers, wasn’t a great sign. At least she had extra gauze and an extra shirt. Always follow those gut instincts.
The ambulance arrived a few moments later, three cop cars right behind it. One set of cops took Jose into custody while another set took Rogelio to the back of the ambulance. Devon followed, handing the EMT her card and asking for her knife to be returned to her after it was taken out. The EMT looked a little disgusted with her priorities but took the card anyways.
“That was a little tactless,” Barba said.
“That was a really good knife,” Devon replied.
The last two cops came to check on Devon and Barba, get their statements. Once they saw the handle sticking out of Devon’s shoulder, though, they called an EMT over. Devon had lost enough blood to feel woozy, but not enough that the EMT could convince her to go to the hospital. Being a torso wound, the EMT could dislodge it right there, after discerning that no major arteries were hit, though he did so begrudgingly, saying that she should really go to the hospital. After the knife was removed, and Devon received 8 stitches, she went through the whole range of motions that she could; it seemed like the knife had missed the important stuff, though she couldn’t raise her right arm above her head. The EMT gave her a look before forcing her to sit still and wrapping her in gauze. Statements given, and all patched up, Devon led Barba into the courthouse and away from the growing crowd. With the time wasted, they were now running late for Barba’s first arraignment of the day.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You should go to the hospital,” Barba said once away from the peering faces.
Devon focused on walking straight, one foot in front of the other, trying to block out the pain, the wooziness. “I’m fine, really. This isn’t the first time I’ve been stabbed.” Barba whipped to look at her, trying to find out if she was joking or not. “Besides, how are you feeling? You’re due in court”—she looked at her phone—“2 minutes from now. Are you feeling up to it? Should I convince the judge to give you a continuous?”
After the attack, Barba’s hands had been shaking. From fear, adrenaline, or worry, he didn’t know; maybe it was a mix of all the above. But with how long it took to give statements to the officers, to remove the knife and get Devon patched up, and then her fighting with the EMTs to not go to the hospital, Barba’s nerves had calmed down. At least a little bit; better than nothing.
“I’m fine; it’s only arraignments,” he replied. She shot him a skeptical look; they didn’t have time to eat their breakfast and they didn’t have time to make any coffee in his office. He was going to say more to try and reassure her, but they had arrived at the courtroom he needed to go preach law into anyways. Barba had a sudden thought, looking at Devon, or more importantly, the state of her clothes; her shirt, though black, was sticky and turning hard from dried blood. Sitting behind her, one could even see the stab hole in the fabric, the white of the gauze peeking through. In the craziness of the attack, Devon had dropped her laptop bag, and had completely forgotten to change clothes. Barba took the overcoat he had been carrying and held it up for Devon to put on.
“Here, wear this,” he prompted.
Ever sharp, even with her woozy mind, Devon understood immediately, slipping her arms into the sleeves and shrugging the heavy coat on. The winter jacket was way too hot to be worn in the courtroom, but it was better than having a bloodied Federal Agent in the front row of the gallery. Plus, it was only arraignments; they didn’t take long. It also smells like his cologne…she thought, wistfully, mind drifting.
“You’re late, Mr. Barba,” Judge Barth admonished when they both finally walked into the courtroom. He had some snappy comment that Devon missed; she spent all her attention on making it to the bench on wobbly legs.
Devon dutifully sat in the front row of the gallery, right behind Barba. He gave her one more once-over, noticing how her eyelids drooped and how pained she looked, sweat on her brow, before switching his mind into ADA-mode. He could worry about her injury later.
Luckily, it was only a couple arraignments, so after 2 hours, they were headed back to Barba’s office. Devon seemed alert, but not like normal; it was almost as if she was relying more on instincts than on thoughts. Her eyelids were still drooping, her footsteps seemed heavier, and she wasn’t looking around as much as she usually did. But she still hung close to his side protectively, uninjured hand resting on her gun hidden under Barba’s jacket that she was still wearing. They made it quickly to his office, Devon making it through the door first, to make sure no one unexpected was occupying his office. Once cleared, she all but collapsed onto the short couch against the wall, letting out a grunt of pain.
“No calls or visits, please,” Barba said to Carmen. She nodded, and he closed the door, throwing the lock. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call an ambulance for you?”
Devon turned to shoot him a glare, but in this state, it fell flat. “If you ask me that one more time, you’re going to be the one who needs the ambulance.”
Barba would have laughed at that, but he was too worried about her to manage it. He went over to the little water cooler he had put in—sometimes he needed something besides coffee, only sometimes—and filled a cup. He forced it into Devon’s hand, the left one, the uninjured one. She drank the whole thing gratefully, and he went to refill it.
While he did, she shrugged out of his coat, grimacing at the motion. “Thank god I brought an extra shirt. Though, I don’t think I can put it on,” she chuckled softly, then winced as her mirth cause her body to shake her shoulder painfully. Oh, this was going to suck.
Barba handed her the second glass of water then said, voice barely above a whisper, “I can help…if you want, of course.” She sipped at the water this time rather than chugging it, shocked that he’d offer. Normally, she wouldn’t care if someone she counted as a friend helped her put on a shirt while she was injured. And she did count Barba as a friend. But the conversation with Amaro and Rollins came flooding back, making her hesitate. Did he think of her as a friend?
“Go for it,” she replied drily, trying to play it off as nothing. As if it were just another work thing. As if she didn’t care. Barba nodded, going to where her bag was on one of the chairs, digging through it until her found the extra shirt she had packed that morning. Grabbing it, he came back over to her. Devon moved to sit on the arm of the couch, feet on the cushions. He sucked in a breath as he stood behind her, preparing himself for what he was about to do; he’d never helped dress someone before…well, besides maybe shoving discarded clothes into someone’s arms after a night together. He was glad that her back was to him, that she couldn’t see the blush on his face. Devon grabbed the hem of her shirt and raised it as high as her hurt arm allowed. Gently, he unstuck her shirt from her shoulder—it was still caked in dried blood—and pulled it off of her, left arm first, then over her head, then off her right arm.
He found himself caught staring at the patch of gauze, stark white against Devon’s otherwise tan skin. There was a little bit of red, only a little, to show that some blood had seeped into the material but had since stopped. He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to check; he knew that the EMTs already did, but deep down, he had to know for himself, what he had narrowly avoided. And how much she was now hurt because of him. This was all his fault, he knew; if he had warned her, if he made them go to his office instead of out in the wide open, if he didn’t have a target on himself, then Devon would be fine. She would be enjoying her time off after three years of whatever hell she had endured in California.
His gaze wandered from the patch on her shoulder to the rest of her broad back, starting with her other shoulder, than travelling down her spine, then resting on where the waistband of her slacks rested on her hips. She was littered with scars, most of them thin lines of white, but others that were longer, thicker, some that were straight, some curved. One of them even looked like a bullet hole down by her hip. Barba fought the urge to trace the markings along her back, wondering how she had gotten them all.
Devon had winced as Barba removed the ruined shirt from her—a part of her was shocked with how gentle he could be. But she resolved not to make a noise; she didn’t want to seem weak to him, to seem too injured. Besides, sitting and drinking water was already helping her wooziness and nausea, though she knew that she needed food. After what seemed like forever of him being silent behind her, she cleared her throat.
“Sorry,” Barba murmured, shaking himself, ripping his eyes away from a particularly long, thin scar across her spine. He moved to scrunch the shirt up to the right sleeve, slipping that over her injured arm, before helping it over her head and other arm. She fixed the hem while he checked her glass of water, which was still half-full, before sitting at his desk. He pulled out his phone and called in an order from his favorite Chinese place—he already knew Devon’s order after spending this much time together. While he was doing that, Devon felt like she should warn Olivia about the encounter. Devon knew it would get back to her eventually, better to get in front of it.
Just so you know, I was able to subdue and arrest two Aces in front of the DA’s Building
Olivia wrote back immediately. Good work. Is Barba okay?
All business with her, like usual. He’s fine, no injuries. I’m sure it’s already viral
There was silence for a couple minutes before her phone lit up. YOU WERE STABBED? Are you alright? Are you at the hospital? Is Barba with you? Devon laughed, knowing Liv must have seen one of the many, shitty phone videos of the attack.
I’m fine; Barba and I are safe in his office, ordering lunch. An EMT stitched me up; no worries. I’ll call you tonight with more details.
Devon put her phone away before she could see Liv’s reply; she didn’t have the strength to fight off both Barba and Olivia worrying about her health. Barba hung up shortly afterwards.
“Thank you, by the way. That’s twice now that you’ve saved my life,” Barba said.
Devon waved him off. “All in a day’s work,” she smiled, then grimaced in pain.
It looked like he was going to ask if she was alright again but thought better of it when he saw the glare she shot him. He instead changed the subject. “How did you throw your knife so accurately?”
She grinned at some inside joke, then answered almost sheepishly, “many, many years of practice. I’m still practicing.”
Barba looked impressed. “It was pretty amazing to watch. It was like something in a James Bond movie; I never thought I’d see something like that in real life, with my own eyes.”
Devon smirked to herself; the fact that Barba even watched James Bond was weirdly funny to her. “Wanna know something stupid?” Barba perked up. “I started teaching myself to throw knives when I was 13, because I thought it would make me look cool. Then, when I joined the Bureau, I thought that it was a great skill to master. So, I could be a cool, super-agent like some shitty action movie.”
“You’re right; that is stupid,” Barba replied. A beat of silence, then they were both laughing, at least until Devon’s laugh turned into a groan and she grabbed her shoulder. Barba went straight into worried again, launching out of his chair. He made it halfway around the desk before Devon waved him off.
Once the pain subsided, Devon said, “well, it may be stupid, but it has come in handy plenty of times. I think that it’s the element of surprise; no one actually predicts someone to throw a knife at them. Not in real life, and not accurately.”
At that moment, food had arrived. Devon still didn’t know how Barba got lunch delivered so quickly, and he refused to give away his secret. They both hungrily scarfed down most of their food before a thought occurred to Devon, something that she should have asked the day she took this job.
“Do you know how to defend yourself? In anyway besides that mouth of yours?”
Barba finished chewing and swallowed. “I think the last fight I was in was when I was 15. And it wasn’t really a fight. It was more a kid beating me up until my friend chased them off.”
“So, no. Awesome. We’re going to fix that, starting tonight.”
“Tonight? Did you forget that you were stabbed today? You are going to take it easy tonight.”
Devon shot an annoyed look at him. “Is Mr. Never-been-in-a-real-fight trying to boss me around?”
Barba shot a glare right back. If looks could kill, then Barba would at least have some sort of self-defense training. “Damn straight I am. Early night tonight, and you’re going to sleep in a bed. That couch cannot be comfortable.”
“Oh-ho, really? You’re not the only one who relies on spite, Barbs. Besides, injured shoulder or not, I could still kick your ass. And the couch is fine.”
Barba was taken aback by that; not so much the threat, but what she had called him. Barbs. As far as he knew, she didn’t call anyone by a nickname, except for Fin and Liv. And anyone who called Fin by his full name was either not a friend or would not be around long.
“Oh, I don’t doubt it. But I’d feel better if you were at 100% before hurting yourself on me,” he looked at her over his takeout box, “and yes, the bed. This isn’t a negotiation.”
“And I’d feel better if you knew at least basic self-defense,” she countered, “and you’re right; this isn’t a negotiation. I will sleep where I want.” Stalemate, how most of their arguments ended. She knew he was done talking about it as he rolled his eyes and stabbed what remained of his lunch.
The rest of the day went normally, or as normally as it could; Barba only had the arraignments in the morning, so they hadn’t left his office until 5pm on the dot. Early night indeed. Devon still went through the motions of checking the hallways as they left, keeping Barba behind her, even though he was pretty sure she couldn’t do much in way of protection, though Devon disagreed (“I only need one working arm to use a gun, Barbs”). They met no resistance and made it to the street. They hailed a cab—the detectives were in a flurry after the attack today--and made it to the loft promptly.
Apartment of Rafael Barba
Tuesday, March 17th. 5:42pm
Devon still insisted on Barba placing his hand on her back as she cleared each room. He tried to touch her gently, keeping to her left. Devon thought it was sweet, but she was getting a little annoyed by the kid-gloves he was treating her with.
Once the nightly routine was done, Devon said, “you know I’m still teaching you some self-defense tonight, right?” Barba started to argue, but she overrode him, “nothing too physical. More positions and motions tonight. We can practice them in full when the stitches come out. Deal?”
He huffed; there really was no way to win an argument with her, was there? He may be a successful lawyer, but he could not outtalk the agent when she had her mind set. Stubborn, like him. “Deal,” he replied begrudgingly. They moved the furniture to the walls, giving them enough room to move comfortably. Barba discarded his suit jacket and tie, rolling up his shirtsleeves to the elbow. Devon shed his winter jacket—he let her wear it again for the ride home—and gun, placing them on the table. She then went through the most basic ways to break someone’s hold, whether they were grabbing an arm, a wrist, or the torso from behind. Surprisingly, Barba picked it up quickly. He had some muscle despite being an attorney.
“Ha-ha, very funny,” he said when she commented on it.
“That’s a good thing, promise,” she laughed. Her shoulder was hurting, but it was more of a dull thrum in the back of her mind. Plus, she knew if she mentioned it, or winced at all, that he would call the exercise to and end, and she didn’t want to stop this night yet. She was enjoying teaching him something, his eyes bright with focus, and then watching him recreate the steps. Maybe she’d retire and teach self-defense classes one day, if she was lucky enough to have the chance to retire. “Last one for the night, then we can stop.” Barba nodded and she taught him how to flip a person that grabs him from behind over his shoulder, then mount them, ready to attack the face and chest of his attacker. Simple.
“We’re not going to actually flip each other,” Devon said when Barba started to protest.
“Better not,” he replied. “Now show me the steps again.”
At this point, Devon had almost completely forgotten about the pain in her shoulder; it was a constant throb, but it blended into the background as she focused on the steps. She grabbed Barba by the arm gently as she demonstrated, without actually throwing him, what to do slowly. Barba found that he enjoyed having her teach him things, especially if it meant that she could ease up on her vigilance. It was also a plus that she was touching him, not in a sexual way, but her strong hands on his sweaty skin was enough to make his heart beat faster. He could feel the strength in her powerful form; her hands, arms, back, legs. Every bit of her was muscle.
“May I flip you over my uninjured shoulder? I’ll put the sofa cushions down first. You’ll be safe, I promise,” Devon asked. “But it’s important to teach you how to go from leaning over a prone attacker to on top of them.”
Barba sighed and reluctantly agreed. She always got what she wanted. “But only if you use your left.” Devon nodded and they both stripped the couch of cushions. Barba felt nervous as he stepped up behind her. The thought of flying through the air was exhilarating, but not something that Barba ever thought he’d be doing on a weekday evening in his loft with an FBI agent. He forced himself to breath, to keep his eyes open so that he could pay attention, as he wrapped his arms around Devon’s torso. She pretended to elbow him in the gut, like she showed him, and he let go. She then grabbed him by the arm and threw him over her left shoulder. His world spun until he landed flat on his back, Devon didn’t move, waiting for him to lock eyes with her.
“You okay?” she asked.
He grinned back up at her, feeling oddly alive. “Never better,” he parroted her words from earlier back to her. She smiled back, then went through the next steps slowly, narrating as she went, until she was straddling his hips, knees pinning his hands into the cushions by his sides, hands raised as if she were going to punch him in the face. He fought to keep the blush from creeping up his neck, hoping that Devon would attribute his red face to how hot he was from the workout.
“Got it?”
“I think so.”
She got off him, held out her hand. He took it and she helped him up.
“Now it’s your turn,” she announced. The thought of him straddling her was enough to get the blush to fully infiltrate his face. He turned away, nodding as he did, hoping that she would miss the redness creeping around his ears and neck. Instead, he stood at the cushions, facing away from her.
Devon came up behind Barba and wrapped her arms around his torso. She smelled his cologne, mixing with his sweat, and felt his rapid breathing against her body through his back, matching her own breathing. She hoped he couldn’t feel her heart fluttering in her chest. They���d been doing this for a couple hours and were both slightly out of breath. Bracing herself, she tightened her arms, signaling the start of the exercise. Barba positioned his feet the way she showed him, fake hit her, and bent forward. Devon felt weightless as she was thrown over his shoulder, then slammed into the cushions. Pain shot through her shoulder and she whimpered in pain. Barba, though, was already following the motions that she had shown him, straddling her hips, fist raised above her head in mock-fight. It took him a moment to recognize the pain in her face, to realize what he had done.
“Ah mierda, estas bien? (Holy shit, are you okay?) Did I hurt you?” he asked, dropping his hand from fist to cupping her cheek, searching her eyes.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she breathed, heart fluttering and not entirely from pain. Barba leaned down closer, scanning her face for any sign of a lie. “Good form.”
At that moment, there was a knock on the door. Both of them whipped their heads to look at the door. “You expecting company?” Devon asked. Barba shook his head, then scrambled off of her. Devon pushed herself off the floor with her left arm—her right buckled in pain when she put pressure on it--grabbed her discarded gun and aimed it at the door. She moved slowly, carefully, towards the door. Another round of knocking rang out.
“Dev? Barba? It’s Olivia,” Liv’s voice called through the door. Breathing a sigh of relief, Devon made it to the door and looked out the eyehole; it was indeed Liv. Not taking any chances, Devon kept the gun aimed as she unlocked the door. She motioned for Barba to stay put, well away and out of line of sight of the door. Devon opened the door, pushed past the shocked Olivia—she did have a gun in her face when the door opened—and checked the hallways.
“Clear,” she called out, beckoning Liv inside.
Once the door was closed and relocked, Liv took in the pushed aside furniture and cushions on the ground, before asking, “what happened today? Are you alright?”
Devon spent the next couple minutes going over the ordeal from that morning, Barba interjecting a couple of times with his point of view, but otherwise staying silent. Devon then spent the next half hour convincing Liv that: yes she was okay, no she didn’t need to go to the hospital, yes she could still protect Barba, no she didn’t need backup. Barba had surprisingly backed her up, saying that she seemed completely capable. Devon was slightly touched at the gesture, her heart clenching with his support.
Olivia sighed. “Well, the other reason I wanted to stop by was to give you an update on our side. The NYPD have collectively caught another 8 Aces, putting the total at 21 incarcerated. If that number of 65 gang members is accurate, then there’s only 44 left.”
“Only 44?” Barba commented, incredulous.
“Better than 65, yeah?” Devon shot back. Barba rolled his eyes but didn’t answer. She did have a point; 44 was less than 65. But 44 people with the potential to kill him left a twisting feeling in his gut that he fought to ignore.
Liv nodded. “We have patrols working around the clock to pick up members. But they know we’re on them; a lot of them have gone into hiding. And those videos of you taking down two of them in front of the DA Building isn’t doing us any favors.
Devon shrugged. “As Munch would say, good ol’ Big Brother looking out for the gang members in that sense.” They talked for a few more minutes about a couple of known hideouts before Olivia excused herself. Devon locked the door after she had left and stretched. Once her right arm was level with her head, she grimaced and dropped it.
Barba was instantly by her side. “Let me see it; I may have pulled the stitches when I flipped you.” Devon didn’t object as he pulled back her shirt, being even more gentle than when he examined her in his office. “Can I take the gauze off? The EMT said that we should change it out tonight.”
“Let’s get the replacement ready, first,” Devon replied. As Barba went to grab gauze from her grip, she struggled to get out of her shirt.
Gauze in hand, Barba looked up to see her struggling to get her shirt over her head. They locked eyes for the briefest moment before Barba quickly adverted his eyes, cheeks turning red.
“Oh, stop playing choir boy and come help me,” Devon huffed, hiding her own face in the fabric of the shirt she was tangled in. Barba made his way over, his ears turning bright red. He grasped the cloth and gently pulled it up and over her head. He discarded it on the back of the armchair, moving to stand behind her once more. He didn’t know why he was so embarrassed by this—he helped her change earlier today. And while he was struggling with his emotions then, too, this seemed more…intimate. Maybe it was because Devon was essentially stripping in his living room rather than his office. Either way, he needed to get his mind out of his pants. Though, his eyes still got pulled from the white patch of gauze to the scars painting her back. Unlike in his office, Barba wasn’t able to stop himself from touching the longest scar on her back, his fingertip ghosting over the white line that stretched from just under her left shoulder blade and leading to under the gauze. Goosebumps sprung up under his finger, and Devon’s breathing hitched.
“What caused this?” Barba breathed, voice barely a whisper. He wasn’t actually expecting an answer, so he was shocked when Devon cleared her throat.
“I believe that one was a leather belt,” Devon muttered. They sat in silence, Devon unwilling to continue, and Barba unwilling to ask for more. Instead, he set about changing the gauze, questions swirling in his mind…though, he was pretty sure he was starting to get an answer.
He slowly pulled off the old gauze on her shoulder. The stitches were still intact, and there was no new blood on or around the wound. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. How could he be so stupid? He knew she was injured, fought against training tonight. But still, he lost focus, he let her call the shots, and it got her hurt. He chastised himself for hurting her; she saves his life, takes a goddamn knife for him, and he slams her onto the ground. If he hadn’t distracted her this morning, if he hadn’t relaxed his guard, then maybe—
“You alright back there?” she asked, pulling him out of his self-hating spiral. He gently placed the new gauze over the wound, pushing it down against her warm skin. Devon sucked in a breath through her teeth, straightening her back at the pain.
“Let me get you an ice pack,” he said over his shoulder as he walked to the kitchen. He needed a moment to collect himself, to get away from the heat in the room, and to also let her get dressed...if she could on her own. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the blood rushing through him, and grabbed the ice pack from the freezer before coming back out to her. She had, thankfully, got into her oversized, pajama shirt by herself.
“Sit,” he ordered. Devon obeyed, sitting in the armchair. Barba had her lean forward, then placed the ice pack between the chair and her shoulder—she jumped at the coolness seeping through her new shirt and gauze--and ordered her to lean back into the chair, holding it in place. She relaxed into the chair, eyes closed at the comfort she felt almost immediately; she hadn’t noticed how hot her skin was in that area...compared to the rest of her that was on fire from his touch. Barba sat on the arm of the loveseat and watched her face. All the tension left her features, making her look younger. He never noticed how much stress she had around her eyes until this moment, something that he noticed with others in this line of work. He was shocked he hadn’t noticed until now, when she was relaxed; her attitude, her…liveliness often exuded off her, making her seem much more jovial than the stress on her face showed. He suddenly wondered how much hardship she had gone through in her life, as an agent and otherwise.
Devon sat like that for a couple moments, and Barba felt like he could stare at her in comfort forever. Memories came flooding back to him; that first night when they sat so close to each other on the armchair, her smile and perky “good morning~!” every day, her eyes and body language when she was alert—dangerous, protective—Amaro and Rollins having their fantasies about why they were late, him straddling her in his living room, hand cupping her face as he made sure she was alright. The scars covering her back like a living tattoo proving that she had lived a full, hard life, yet still found a way to smile.
Oh…he thought before he mentally shook himself; he would not allow those feelings to manifest. He’d learned long ago that that path wasn’t a viable option, that it was his lot in life to be alone, and he’d be damned if his resolve would break after only a couple months with this woman. So, he locked away those memories and feelings, shoving them in a tight little metal box in his heart and throwing away the key.
“I’m fine, really,” Devon finally said, opening her eyes. She looked at Barba, found him staring at her, eyes boring into hers. “That was just a stupid mistake; I got carried away in our training. I’m sorry to put you in that situation.”
“It’s my fault; I knew that you were hurt, and I still went along with it.”
Devon chuckled. “We’re going to get nowhere in a conversation if we keep hogging the blame and self-deprecation. Let’s just say that mistakes were made and leave it at that.”
Barba agreed verbally, but he didn’t really believe it. He knew better, needed to be better. After waiting the allotted 30 minutes that the EMT advised, Barba stood, taking the icepack from her and returning it to the freezer. “We should both go to bed,” he said.
Devon nodded, moving to the loveseat. She knew that she’d be up for a couple more hours doing work, but she couldn’t tell him that. She learned early on that he’d get annoyed if she stayed up half the night working—whether it was a worry about her not being alert the next day, or just a concern for her sleeping habits, she didn’t know--but she just couldn’t force herself to go to sleep. She couldn’t turn her mind off. It was hard enough to sleep at night as it was, and with the attack that happened earlier, tonight was going to be even harder.
“You’re sleeping in the bed tonight, remember? I’ll take the couch,” Barba reminded her.
Devon chuckled and made a big show of stretching out on the couch. “It’s so funny when you think you can order me around.”
Barba gave her a look. “You order me around all the time.”
“And you obey, like, 60% of the time. I appreciate that. Now, off to bed with you,” she gave him a little wave towards the hallway, dismissing him.
He shook his head in disbelief. This woman really knew how to push his buttons. “I’m serious; this couch isn’t good for you. You’re injured.”
Devon pretended to be deep in thought, finger on her chin, before saying, “nah, I like the couch. Goodnight, Barbs.”
This was getting him nowhere; if she wanted to sleep here, then fine. He tried to be polite, gentlemanly, but if chivalry really was dead, then she’s the one who killed it. As he started making his way down the hallway, he stopped, looking over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised. “Barbs?”
“It’s quicker than saying Barba; only one syllable. Does it bother you?”
He could tell by her tone that she did actually care if it bothered him; if he said yes, then he knew she’d never use it again. But, if truth be told, he rather liked it; a name for him that only she used. It was kind of…cute, in a way. “It’s fine,” he replied, turning back to his bedroom door, a small smile on his lips.
Once he was closed off in his room, Devon pulled out her laptop. She started in on her daily report for Liv, but soon enough, her mind started to wander. She learned something new tonight, something that she didn’t want to admit to herself. But she knew that now, while alone, was the best time to go through it; she had to take the thought out, examine it, understand it, and then lock it away.
She couldn’t deny the feelings and thoughts that she had when Barba had straddled her, or when he touched her back, feelings that had appeared briefly that morning in his office, while he helped her change shirts. The heat that had flooded her face, among other places. And sure, pain was one of those feelings as well, but even that went away when he had cupped her face, had looked at her with such concern in his bright green eyes. It was as if time had stopped; she didn’t even hear what he said to her, though his mouth was moving. That was the moment she had noticed; she had feelings for him. How the hell that had happened, she wasn’t quite sure. Now sitting and thinking about it, she realized that she liked quite a bit about him. She liked how he dressed, his smell, his vocabulary, how he worked, his mannerisms and little quirks. She liked that he tapped his pen when deep in thought. She liked that he mumbled to himself while doing paperwork. She liked how his eyes lit up when he was focused, or when he thought of the perfect argument for a case. She liked the brief, accidental touches, just a brush of a hand, when they were both working on his desk. And the longer, less accidental touches, like when she grabbed his hand and dragged him to the coffee stand, or when they smushed too close in the crowded elevator, his cologne strong in her nose. Maybe it was because she had never spent this long living with someone before. Maybe it was because the past three years have left her emotionally drained, vulnerable. In any case, there was no chance of…whatever they could be from happening. 1) She had a strict no-dating rule with victims, whether he played a victim or not. And 2) she didn’t “do” relationships. She didn’t have the time, energy, or patience to dedicate herself to someone else. Sure, she had taken out some stress in someone’s bed before, but she never had repeats—one and done was her motto. She refused to let someone have that part of her; she kept her heart locked in a stronghold. So, how in the hell did Rafael Barba make his way through the drawbridge when she had thought it was up?
#everyone deserves love#edl#edl ch 5#everyone deserves love chapter 5#law and order svu#law and order svu fanfic#rafael barba x oc#fanfic#my writing#amaro and rollins totes gossip#all the time#about everyone
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August 20: Storm; Phone Call
Was going to write up my TOS thoughts today but I feel like they’re gonna get long and I’m just way too tired for that. Brain is off.
B and I talked for an hour and a half today after work. He updated on me the saga that is his current situation, which I am still obsessing over, and I told some Fun Library stories and also brought out some stories from the vault I’d forgotten about, from high school and college.
I can’t believe it’s Friday. Not sure where this week went or what the Mood is going into this weekend. I wouldn’t be opposed to another weekend like last week... Lowkey, get some writing done... I have a lot of vague ideas floating in my head again.
An incredibly loud thunderstorm woke me up at 4am today. I can’t remember the last time weather woke me up. At least two of my co-workers were also woken up by it, and one lives on the other side of town. I remember thinking ‘if it’s this bad when I actually have to go to work, I’m working remote’ and then going back to sleep. Then I completely forgot about it--distracted by very complex dreams and the terror and anguish I felt when I woke up to my last alarm and had to immediately get up--and in fact was even surprised to see puddles outside, until my co-worker mentioned the storm and the memory suddenly returned.
There’s a lot of rain still in the forecast but aside from the storm not as much as I was expecting the last two days. A part of me wants to go out this weekend... I want some coffee shop time. But I don’t to risk frivolous outings, I don’t want to get caught in the rain, and it might still be too hot anyway.
I just really want to write... be creative... this weekend. I’m itching to just LAUNCH myself into something. Maybe multiple things. But I also feel like I should get back into some WIPs and that always makes me nervous....
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