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Aubrey plaza the woman you are.
#wlw#aubrey plaza#aubreyplazaedits#rio vidal#ingrid goes west#parks and rec#april ludgate#happiest season#wlwposts#gifs#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness imagine#agathario#agatha x rio
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#aesthetic#whimsical#witchblr#art#witchy#witchy woman#girlblogging#goth#halloween#wlw#wlwposts#wlw art#wlw yearning#lesbian#lesbianmemes#lesbianyearning#witchywlw#lesbianwitch#artist#goth aesthetic#wlwgoth#wlw post#wlw poetry
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I want to wake her up with three fingers inside and make sure she cums hard enough to keep blushing the whole day 🌸
#wlw nsft#sapphicnsft#sapphic yearning#sapphic nsft#sapphic#nsft sapphic#wlwpost#wlw smut#wlw ns/fw#wlw post#wlwdomme#wlw yearning#wlw hornyposting#wlw#lesbian smut#nsft lesbian#lesbiansmut#lesbianthoughts#lesbian
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Summer Blossom
masterslist
PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4
Falling in love is hard. Worse when you know it can’t happen.
Summary -> It’s the summer of ‘73, the absolute last thing you wanted to do is spend summer with your dad all the way in his farm house, which just so happened to be located in the country, far from all your friends. That was until you met her..
Warnings -> Homophobia / Reader denies feelings / Tiny bits of angst (for now) / Avoidant / Reader is 18, Ellie is 19 / Guy hits on reader / Slight bits Jealous!Ellie / Blood! / Description of injuries / Getting outed / (Eventual smut!)
WC: 6.9k
(Not proofread!)
Summer in your dad's farmhouse.
That was easily the last place you wanted to be.
It’s the summer of ‘73, and your mom had the bright idea of getting some quality time in with your dad.
The reason why is because soon enough you’ll be packing up far away from your hometown and going to collage.
Your parents split up young, 10 to be exact, there were no hard feelings that came along with it, it just happened.
Almost naturally, they simply just grew apart, as some people do.
You decided to stay with your mom, with all your friends being in that area. Another split you weren’t really willing to lose.
Your dad was always close, 30-45 minutes out to the straight country.
Nothing but grass and farmland, meaning you didn’t visit a lot.
On special times like your birthday and holidays, your dad or mom would travel to see each other.
They named it important to you, but you’ve always convinced yourself it didn’t bother you.
So when your mom suggested you should go up to your dad's for the summer (and wasn’t taking a no) you ended up here.
You didn’t like it to say the least.
It was hot, none of your friends were here, and the last time you’ll ever be freshly graduated at 18 years old you were spending it alone.
It didn’t help you were also an only child.
You had no one but your dad.
So now your in your current predicament.
You were lying down on your bed.
Knees pointed up towards the ceiling as you’re slowly drowning in the heat. Which feels like it’s covering each square inch of your room.
You were reading a book yet weren’t paying attention, the creeks of the floorboards and the birds chirping outside your window had your focus dwell in many different ways.
A shitty thing that was always on your mind was the fact that you didn’t know if there were people your age, your dad only has one car and it’s strictly named for business purposes.
It wasn’t until the floorboard creeks were slowly coming up the stairs and the sound of a car pulling in which finally made you drop the book putting it closely beside you.
There were a few short knocks and your dad's voice came through.
“Hey, kid?” Your dad mumbles outside your bedroom.
It was always awkward with him.
Not because he was a shit dad or anything. On the contrary, he was nice, he always tried his best and was there for you. You guys just didn’t relate much.
He liked hands-on activities, like working on cars, taking care of the many farm animals, and stuff that involved getting dirty.
You enjoyed, staying inside, not getting dirty, sitting in an area with air conditioning, which is the main thing your dad's place fucking lacked.
“Yup?” You sit up rubbing your hand across your sweaty forehead. “Come in” You awkwardly continue.
Your door opens and your met with your dad. The first thing he says is “You okay?” He asks noticing your tired expression and sweaty face.
“Yeah.” You sigh slightly exasperated. “Just..” You pause. “Hot.”
You’re almost confident you’ve never been in a more awkward situation and the fact he’s your own blood, your father for crying out loud? It made it worse.
He follows by just nodding mumbling a quick agreement.
He doesn’t talk for what feels like forever. But once his mouth finally opens you know he’ll continue.
“My buddy is comin’ over?-“ He paused then smiled “He’s here actually!” The smile continues, he’s just hoping you’ll finally get out of your bedroom, at least for a little.
He hated seeing you bored by his mere presence.
“Daughter around your age is downstairs.” He perks.
It caught your attention too. Because maybe having someone who might relate to you will ease the straight boredom which is being caused from this house.
“Oh yeah?” You ask slowly, swinging your legs over your bed before standing up.
“Yup!” He smiles and continues.
“Been tellin’ them about how you’re coming down for the summer- she seems to be bored out of her mind too.” He chuckles.
You then sigh, because you kinda feel bad for making it so obvious you were bored. Made you feel like a mean daughter.
You know not being able to deal with the simple presence of him.
“Dad-“ You try, obviously trying to apologize.
He waved his hand dismissively. “No-! Trust me I get bored round these parts too.” He smiles not trying to cause you guilt. “So hot movin’ around seems like a liability.” He dryly chuckles.
You chuckle too. “You’re telling me..!”
Once you finish your sentence it’s ended with a nod.
He tilts his head in the bedroom’s door direction suggesting through mannerisms you two should go downstairs.
To which you follow.
You hear talking. The girl downstairs seems to be hesitant, you can’t really hear what she’s saying, having reminiscences of a mumble. Even so, sounds like a short “I really don’t have to meet her-“.
But she was quickly cut off when she saw you.
You guys both lock eyes as you're walking down the stairs.
Just another awkward moment you didn’t need!
She has green eyes, they seem vibrant while contrasted with the sun that gleams through the window.
Her hair represents a faded red falling more along the lines of brunette, it’s in a shaggy mullet, a bold choice compared to what other people have.
Something you instantly noticed.
Despite the blazing hot sun, which is creating what feels like deathly temperatures, she’s accompanied by a skinny pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
And in this moment you’ve came to the realization you’ve probably never seen a girl dressed like that before.
It looks like an outfit a male would wear, which throws you for a loop.
Even though she was mumbling about how she “really didn’t need to meet you” her posture turns straight and a smile presents.
The man who you can only assume is her father talks.
“Your old man tells me a lot about you- shame we haven’t properly met yet.” He smiles holding out his hand to shake.
You awkwardly smile stepping forward to hold out your hand to simply shake back. “I’m Joel- this is my daughter, Ellie.”
His grip peels from yours and he grabs Ellie’s shoulder lightly, making her take a step forward in front of him, she’s now facing directly towards you.
He feels like it’s to give her a light push to properly introduce herself. Knowing that Ellie wouldn’t take that step on her own.
“Nice to meet you.” Ellie smiles nodding her head awkwardly.
“Yeah, you too.” You smile back at her.
It’s awkward, everyone in that room senses it.
So Joel speaks.
“Ellie’s got a truck!” Joel perks up, an almost suggestive tone leaking.
“Was thinkin’ the two of you could head down to town...Your dad was talking about a barbecue” He smiles the last sentence directed towards you.
Ellie’s head turns and she shoots him literal death glares.
Because why in his right mind would he suggest the two of you should go into town. A 10-minute drive after not even knowing each other for 5 minutes.
What would you even talk about?!
Your dad instantly hops on the idea. Thinking it’s about time for you to step out and find a friend down here.
“Great idea!” He smiles.
You and Ellie both look at each other, neither of you trying to hide the tired sighs which leaked through your lips..
You both don’t want to really go.
“Okay..” Ellie nods before turning to the front door.
“We’ll be back in like 30?” Ellie says.
All you do is follow behind her, she opens the door for you first, before you both are hit with the sun.
Ellie unlocks her truck hoping in the driver's seat.
She stretches over the centre console opening the door before you reach it.
All you feel like you can do is mumble a quick thank you.
And that was the start of the painful car ride.
It took 4 minutes at least of straight silence for one of you to talk.
Even though Ellie didn’t want to. She spoke first.
“So- you like it here so far.” She asks clearing her throat.
“None of my friends are here- so like it’s a bit..boring…” Once you finish your sentence, it’s followed by Ellie nodding to show understanding.
“Yeah- it’s not bad though. Like once you get used to it.” Ellie smiles tilting her head towards you before turning back.
“You live here?” You ask. You’re somewhat interested..hardly...
“Yeah- my dad always wanted land..! When I was like 2 we moved, I really don’t remember much before this.” Ellie says looking at the road.
You just slowly nod.
“What do you do…? Like all the time.” You ask.
Ellie’s face does form into a frown. Ellie’s not popular, she’s never been popular. There was a point where she had a good amount of friends.
And that came down in a big crash.
Yet still never popular, not through middle school nor high school, nothing.
Even though she knows why, she doesn’t plan on telling you.
“Friends are a big thing!” She lies with a chuckle, hoping it comes across as sounding truthful.
You buy it, you didn’t even assume it was lying. And plus, say you knew she was lying, you didn’t really care.
You simply didn’t know Ellie.
“We close?” You ask Ellie, your tone is dry, and she can easily read you don’t care about what she has to say.
Ellie nods “Few minutes.”
And that went in a blur because it wasn’t long till you and Ellie were walking into the grocery store. She leads you to the section that displays all the items you could possibly need for a barbecue.
Ellie crouches down about to speak before a voice draws both of your attention.
“Oh, Williams! Didn’t realize you were here?”
Ellie recognizes it immediately. And her face was already red out of pure embarrassment.
It was ironic, the same guy who made her life shit throughout high school was still sulking in the same area she was.
Ellie often saw him as the prime example of peaking in high school.
He was horrible to her, constantly.
Jack McNeill.
He was a “perfect jock”.
He caught every girl’s attention, with his blonde hair and blue eyes. Something that drew everyone’s physical attraction.
She remembers it firsthand when her best friend fell for him. A story she doesn’t feel like even thinking of right now.
And in all fairness, he needed the looks, his personality was shit, and she knew that more than anyone.
But still, everyone who knew him loved him, unless you were one of the ‘lucky’ ones who gained his unwanted attention. The one where he’d practically torment you.
“Who’s this?” He smiles with a cocky expression, it’s directed towards you.
Ellie frowns and looks at you.
You guys lock eyes, Ellie’s eyes are silently expressing that she’s sorry. But you can’t tell why.
Nothing that’s been said needed any sort of apology.
“Or…is she for you?” He chuckles. Just by his tone you know it’s lurking with an accusatory tone. Having slight reminiscence of disgust.
You didn’t get what he meant by that comment “Is she for you?”.
It felt like you were being bided on.
And it hardly made sense! Why would he direct that comment to Ellie, someone who you hardly knew??
And who’s a fucking girl?
“She’s my dad's like- it’s his friend's daughter..” Ellie quickly stands up trying to get out of this conversation as fast as she can, even though it’s hardly working.
Ellie knows she doesn’t owe Jack an explanation, but he doesn’t ever stop pushing once he starts, something you’d expect from a toddler, not someone who turns 20 in a month.
“Ahh…What’s your name?” He smiles at you, it physically makes you cringe at how his tongue pokes out of his mouth out of pure concentration.
You look at Ellie and then back at him.
You know 100% this look and this sentence worked on other people, you see how confident he looks, it’s almost gross.
“We’re in a grocery store?” You chuckle tilting your head.
“Mhm?” He questions.
Ellie’s looking back and forth between the both of you. Starting to think the charm that Jack seems to have on every fucking girl on the planet will end up working on you.
So she can’t even help but roll her eyes.
“Thank you, but no thank you.” You nod politely.
“Wanna go?” You question turning to Ellie. Now realizing she has everything that she actually needs in hand.
Ellie just nods looking at you then back at Jack, she has a smirk plastered all over her face. She didn’t care if you and Jack went out or something, it just helped to see his face drop.
It’s like it’s the first time he’s ever faced rejection.
Granted it probably is.
It only took till you guys got outside for you to talk.
“That guy is a dick?” You smile looking at Ellie.
Ellie also smiles, nods lightly, and talks. “Little bit huh?”
And even though that moment seemed so insignificant from any other viewpoint, it genuinely felt like that’s what sprouted yours and Ellie’s friendship.
And at this point picturing a summer day without her seemed simply impossible.
Because after spending almost a month together, being apart seemed odd.
It had you basically dreading on the fact that summer will eventually end, and you’ll be far from not only your family or friends.
But you’ll be far from Ellie.
She easily fit in the category of a friend. Just you felt like you’ve never connected to someone so fast, meaning calling her one, was something you’ve never fully thought about.
Because Ellie didn’t seem like just a friend?
She seemed different.
Either way it didn’t matter. You always tried to shrug off any thoughts before they could even form.
All she realistically is, is a friend.
Strictly.
I guess you just hated finding yourself constantly overthinking when it comes to Ellie.
The lines of friendship were blurring, and you didn’t like that...
Like when you guys wouldn’t act like just friends, situations where you would share the same bed during sleepover, when you and her would lay on your wood floor (since it was cooler than the air) and her head would be on your shoulder peeking over at the book you were reading.
It was the little things.
You’ve come to the consensus forgetting about it would somehow ease the awkward and unwanted feelings.
I guess it also didn’t help Ellie and Joel practically come over everyday. Which allowed your friendship to grow all that more.
Even though you guys were different, extremely fucking different you felt like you got each other in the more important ways.
Because you told Ellie certain things, and she told you some back.
She was a secretive person, it didn’t bother you much, because you’ve always labeled her as shy, since your first interaction that is.
Even though she was already socially awkward her being shy really just seemed like an add on.
She’s never would expand on how high school was for her, if she had friends, a boyfriend even. She never fucking talked about it.
You’ve never met one of Ellie’s friends, you’ve asked, but she comes up with the same reason. Or in Ellie’s mind an easy excuse to stop the questions from coming any further.
“There out for the summer.” Ellie mumbles following you up the stairs to your bedroom.
Ellie and Joel arrived around 5pm, your dad quickly suggested the idea to have dinner with them.
Of course that went with a shit ton of talking, with a hint of alcohol. Your dad always got chatty when liquor was involved.
Joel also got a few drinks cracked in him, nothing heavy but enough to tell Ellie that they should just crash at your dads place for the night.
In order for them to do some “manly bonding.” Or whatever the fuck they called it?
it ended up making it easier for Ellie, because now that the both of them were staying the night, Ellie didn’t have to carry a stumbling Joel back into their place.
So here you are.
Walking up the stairs with Ellie going on about how you really wanted to meet her friends you read the clock.
It’s only 8pm. The sun is still out due to the earth's tilt..
Which worked in your favour.
Because you had an idea.
After Ellie grumbled her little “There out for the summer.”
All you can reply with is a short sigh.
“Okay what about parties?” You ask looking at her.
“Parties?” Ellie laughs thinking you’re joking.
Both of your legs moving into your bedroom.
“What?” You question turning around to get a good look at her.
Awkwardly it created a close environment for the both of you, practically nose to nose to be exact. To which you backed up as Ellie stayed frozen. Cheeks tinted pink.
You stepped back probably as soon as it happened. You didn’t talk, just looked at her.
Ellie then snaps out of it, trying to forgot that fact she definitely felt your breath on her lips. Ellie was starting to hate herself for even thinking about it.
She knows the both of your are friends. And more importantly you don’t even know about it.
Ellie clears her throat watching as you backed up, quick reminder you definitely didn’t see Ellie like that. Not that it mattered.
“Okay since when do you party?” She ask tilting her head, a quick smile painting right on.
“Whatever?? Tonight- let’s go!” You smile looking at her.
Ellie shakes her head and laughs. “No?? Your dad would kill me? It’s going to get late and- what fucking party.”
“My dad and Joel wouldn’t even notice El? Their drunk. And plus It’s summer! There’s 100% a party happening.”
Ellie sighs.
“Actually?” Ellie questions, she’s praying you’re joking. Because again, she’s not the most popular person around town.
You tilt your head and smile. “Please..!” You sigh out.
“I don’t know..?” She shrugs, and looks at you before continuing. “I just- like what if it’s not fun?” Ellie’s trying to think of any lie that’s realistic. You know other than ‘I don’t feel good’
You look at her shining one last smile hoping it will work.
“Okay- okay fine.” Ellie sighs dramatically, you quickly hug her and pull back.
“Okay let’s get ready!” You suggested.
“No?” Ellie laughs.
“What do you mean ‘no’!” You chuckle grabbing her hand to make her sit down on your bed.
“What if there’s a cute guy you see?” You say suggestively which gets Ellie to cringe back and shake her head. That wasn’t happening..
“I doubt it?” She chuckles looking at you.
A frown is now present on your face. Ellie was so avoidant when it came to the subject of boyfriends. She seemed physically repulsed by them, almost men in general.
And it was getting hard to ignore it now.
You’ve figure she might of had a secret boyfriend, but that was shut down real quick after Ellie denied for a solid 10 minutes after you asked her.
You just didn’t get why she was acting like this.
“No?” You question.
“‘No.” Ellie confirms looking at you. “Trust me I won’t see any guy there that I actually, you know, like.” She shrugs.
“Why?” You ask.
Ellie quickly stands up. Putting on a fake smile. “Let’s go!”
It almost gave you whiplash, I mean it wasn’t new. There’s been countless moments where Ellie just disregarded whatever you said. The first time it happened it ended with you laughing, thinking it was a simple joke.
But she does it a lot. If she doesn’t want to answer, she try’s to act like you didn’t even say it.
Now creating an endless cycle you were genuinely getting tired of.
“Okay.” You follow after Ellie.
You were driving with Ellie. She knew a party nearby. Not that she was invited, she just heard around.
Ellie and you haven’t really spoken since the moment in your room. It’s not like your mad at her, just the secretive act has been getting..annoying.
You told Ellie a lot about you- and it’s like she’s scared to give you anything fucking personal information.
“What..?” Ellie sighs turning over to you before her eyes gaze back on the road ahead.
One hand is on the steering wheel while the others on the centre console.
“I didn’t say anything..?” You shrug looking at Ellie.
Ellie nods awkwardly with a twinge of nervousness. She knows herself she’s being avoidant, and she doesn’t want to lose you because of that.
After Ellie finishes her little nod she talked.
“Are you mad at me?” Ellie ask looking back to you, your gaze is glued to the window purposefully avoiding her.
Ellie hated that.
“No” You just sigh and finally lock with Ellie’s side profile. “You just don’t tell me shit.” You tilt your head.
“I tell you shit.?” Ellie shrugs and smiles trying to ease the tension in the car.
She’s eyeing you once again.
“Get your eyes back on the road.” You groan rolling your eyes, Ellie’s mannerisms were hard not to fold over, which is annoying..
Ellie shifts her eyes to the road.
“What do you wanna know?” She now ask, her teeth are slotted in the bottom of her lip out of nervousness.
Yet her poker face is good enough for you not to get the memo.
“I don’t know- about you?” You say shrugging.
“There’s not much to tell?” Ellie says with a chuckle.
The car stops and she gets out first before opening the door for you. “You’re such a fucking liar?” You chuckle hopping out.
“Im-“ Ellie try’s to defend it, but you shake your head.
“No i’m getting your drunk and i’m hearing all about your little secrets” You joke with a smile.
Yet Ellie definitely wasn’t the one who got drunk.
Because just an hour later you were a slurring, stumbling over your feet trailing back to no other then the kitchen.
There sat the blonde hair blue eyed guy who you turned down a little over 2 weeks ago.
His poster straightens up when he sees you.
“Hey..” He smiles and grabs a red solo cup before handing it to you.
“Hi!” You say excitedly.
He tilts his head and looks around, looking for the other girl who can realistically turn down what’s happening. “Where’s Ellie?”
“Sheees..” You slur looking around, you don’t notice her figure. Which is strange because she definitely stands out.
You quickly turn your attention back to him. “Not sure!” You chuckle.
So does he.
With that he steps forward.
“You’re Jack, yeah?” You ask remembering how Ellie told you on the way back to your dad's place. Leaving the grocery store you two were previously in.
“Mhm?” He smiles moving his hand to your shoulder.
“Do you know my name?” You ask, you notice the way his eyes light up, clearing thinking of something, your eyes on the other hand are glossy from the liquor coursing through your veins..
You’re definitely not thinking straight.
“Why don’t you tell me upstairs?” He suggest. The cocky tone from the grocery store coming right back.
You’re not a hook up type person, you’ve genuinely never been. You can tell by Jacks suggestive tone he’s doesn’t just want to ‘learn your name’. Fuck you’re not stupid.
But..there’s thoughts in your mind about Ellie. Shit you don’t like, stuff you’d never admit. Not even if you were in a life or death situation.
When you’re talking to Jack. They start to falter, go quiet no longer disrupting you.
So you nod. Hesitantly, while a flash of Ellie’s face becomes apparent.
When his uncomfortably big hands loop to your wrist, it’s more forceful than you’d like, yet you agree. You guys are both walking to the stairs, you’re almost falling over due to still being drunk.
“What the fuck?” He groans feeling a sudden grip on his shoulder. His eyes are turning around as yours are too. Once you see green eyes you just sigh. Those previous thoughts coming back.
“What do you want Williams?” He smiles looping his arm around your waist. It ended up closing the little distance you too just previously had.
Ellie doesn’t answer her eyes just go to his arm, the one that is looped around your waist to be exact.
“We're going back.” Ellie says sternly looking back at the two of you.
“Jealous?” He taunts stepping forward.
“Oh fuck off.” Ellie says trying to step closer towards you, something you wouldn’t mind right now. It’s awkward watching this whole interaction on the sidelines. It feels like you’re just spectating.
He steps forward again his arms pushing Ellie back from her chest forcefully?
“Your little friend knows then?” He questions turning back to you. Just by the way he’s speaking down to Ellie. You know it’s not good.
“What?” You say looking back at Ellie. Her face is pale mixed with a bit of red. It’s out of embarrassment, yet you can also tell she’s scared of what he might say.
Jacks laugh fully echos in the house, it’s  obnoxious and loud.
Currently being the only thing you can hear right now.
He then shrugs looking at Ellie.
“Wanna tell her, or should I Williams?” Jack questions licking his lips, it’s taunting.
Ellie doesn’t answer, she can’t answer. Her whole body went numb, because she really can’t experience this feeling once again.
From the silence Jack then shrugs mumbling a “So be it?”
“You know, the fact she’s a little dyk-“
It went in a flash. That whole moment.
The last thing you saw was Ellie’s fist flying straight at Jacks face, Ellie got a good hit in. But his arm was swinging back, quicker and way harder.
And soon enough, despite being the drunk one. You had Ellie’s arm slinging around you while you both walked out.
There was other party attendees rushing out of the door. Some laughing, some even yelling at Ellie. Calling her shit you wouldn’t ever repeat.
Then there was Jack, fuck was he the worst of it. Sure people were saying horrible things to Ellie as she walked out.
But each one of his words made you wince.
You ran an unlocked Ellie’s car before opening the back seat so she has a place to sit down comfortably..
Her nose had to be broken. It was practically spraying with blood and you didn’t know what to do.
Ellie’s hands were shaking and her eyes had a few tears leaving it. Which she attempted to hide from you.
Didn’t work though.
You lightly rub her cheek with your hand trying to wipe them just as fast as they come out.
Soon pulling back wondering if it’s to weird.
“You have something I can stop the bleeding with??” You asked probably just as panicked as her. All she could respond with is a quick nod of her head and a few words.
“T-trunk” Ellie says.
You run to the back of the trunk and look. She has a spare white tank top.
Once you run back you apply light pressure to her nose.
Ellie holds your wrist trying to calm her nerves the fuck down.
“Breathe El..” You say trying to get her to calm down.
Ellie’s chest rose slowly and you felt her breath come through the balled up tank top.
Your other hand went to her jaw then neck.
“What was that Ellie?” You say looking at her.
You heard the stuff they were calling her, it would be a ironic and nearly impossible for everyone in that party to randomly come up with the same insult.
Not to mention the shit Jack was saying.
Some talk of an ex best friend was mentioned..You heard all of it..
Ellie fucking knew that too. So all she can reply with is a simple shake of her head.
And this time you understood why she was being so fucking secretive.
Because say you were like her, and in that position. You’d probably avoid it too.
So you’re finally accepting that fact she doesn’t want to talk about it..
Ellie stands up abruptly causing you to flinch back.
She seems colder now. Like she’s masking clear embarrassment with the face of no feelings.
“We can go.” It’s a statement not a question. Ellies whole personality shifted. You watch as she trails back to the trunk throwing the bloody shirt somewhere.
Ellie clears her throat and gets in the car she’s facing only forward, she physically can’t look at you.
What if you knew now.
The one thing she’s been trying her absolute hardest to hide.
And why?
Because Ellie’s a coward.
Probably the biggest fucking one, she can’t go through the feeling of losing another friend simply because she’s..
————
“You’re lesbian..?” Emma says. It sounds like she scared to ask. Worrying about any confirmation that Ellie might ensue.
Emma and Ellie have been friends for longer then both of them could even remember. There was a point where they weren’t friends though. About 4 months. That was until Ellie was born.
So they’ve been together in the little moments like preschool, and middle, finally reaching where they are now, high school. They’ve always been together.
They met through each others parents. Ellie’s dad Joel, and Emma’s father Adam were practically the same men. They liked outdoors, fishing, shit like that.
Ellie swears if she hadn’t known better you could even call them twins.
There was only one difference.
Emma’s family was an extreme stereotypical “Perfect family”.
They had a nice house, christian, perfect looking animals and kids, plus Ellie’s almost confident she hasn’t even heard Emma’s mom swear. Not once.
Yet she just sorta assumed it never passed to Emma?
Ellie’s whole face is red. All she can reply with is a nod. She’s embarrassed, yet not scared.
Because fuck. Emma’s her best friend.
She’s never once considered the fact maybe Emma wouldn’t accept her? Because she simply could not see why.
It’s still Ellie. It just felt like a tiny part of her was hidden.
“D-do you like me?” Emma stands off her bed. Now concerned with the fact Ellie’s in love with her or something. Which just wasn’t true.
Ellie loved Emma, of course. But fucking platonically. She wasn’t alluded with her or something, it almost felt like Emma was joking.
Either way Ellie’s face dropped, because out of all the possibilities she wasn’t fucking excepting this one. A one where maybe Emma didn’t accept her.
“Wh-what n-no!” Ellie’s a stuttering mess now standing up off Emma’s bed. She feels all her nerves turn to jelly. What does she say?
“The fuck Ellie- we’ve- we’ve slept in the same bed before.“ Emma’s tone is loud. It’s like she’s yelling at Ellie now. Like she’s mad.
And Ellie’s never been able to read a face more clear then Emma’s that day.
Pure disgust.
“E-Em?” Ellie try’s stepping forward trying to reach her hand over.
Emma shakes her head and backs up again, she’s acting like Ellie’s infected. Ellie’s searching for any signs of hope. Like it’s some sick joke. Her eyes are just trailing up and down..
“You know I like Jack?” Emma says.
“I kn-“ Ellie starts again, quickly stopped by brown eyed girl.
“Ellie get the fuck out!” Emma yells..
The sound made her wince. Emma never yelled like that, none the less directed towards Ellie.
That night Ellie stumbled out of Emma’s house tears streaming down her face, because she didn’t really have anyone after that. Sure she had some other friends, Joel would be there for her. But fuck..it was Emma.
Someone she simply couldn’t replace, not if she wanted to.
The next day was probably worse.
Ellie woke up to Joel sitting pulled into their kitchen table a little mug rested in the middle of his hands, which was of course full of coffee.
Joel’s never up early, so she already knew she was fucked.
It started off with a short.
“Kid you know I love you. No matter what.” He sighs out.
“Adam called me. He was tellin’ me about some crush on Emma?” He shrugs standing up.
“Is that true?” He questions.
Ellie’s eyes are already glossy, she really didn’t need to be immediately reminded about the disaster which was last night..
“N-no I-I don’t like her?” Ellie puts her head in her hands wiping the tears just as fast as they come.
Joel stands up wrapping her in a bear hug.
“I’m not being buddies with someone who will talk badly about my family.” Joel crouches down reassuring Ellie.
So yes Joel did end up taking it well. Ellie explained everything. What Emma said. Everything.
She just wasn’t prepared for the shit show at school.
Because apparently Emma called Jack McNeill whining about some shitty betrayal. Like she was the one who was hurt.
So not only did Ellie lose Emma, she lost all her remaining friends, her whole school would talk about her like she’s not there, the girls locker rooms would be cleared if she were to ever step foot in them, and she was sorta just alone.
Ellie made a decision right then, she’s not telling people anymore.
————
“El?” You question looking at her. Repeating yourself for the second time.
It looks like she just glitched in real life.
She doesn’t respond but by the fact her eyes didn’t seem so deep in thought you decided to assume she heard you.
“Are we going to talk about it?” You ask once more, silently begging for a response.
The car stops abruptly.
Your eyes are met with the quiet home which belongs to your father.
The lights are off so you know Joel and your dad are sure to be sleeping.
“I’ll see you later.” Ellie says coldly, she’s only looking forward, purposefully avoiding how your eyes won’t peel away from her side profile.
You were scared of how you felt for Ellie, but you were drunk. And right now she seems like she’s going to cry once again. So you pushed that down and talked.
“Ellie it’s late.” You sigh.
She doesn’t respond, she just clears her throat..
Once you shut the passenger door she assumes you’re leaving. But nope..
Ellie watched as you walked over to the driver seat opening the door.
“Come on” You hold out your hand.
Ellie looks at your hand and sighs. “No-“
“Come on…” You pause for a few seconds. “Please.”
Ellie steps out of her truck ignoring how your hand laid open for hers. Ellie decides to stuff both of hers inside her pockets. Creating an easy way of ignoring it.
“You’re the one who punched him Ellie. Don’t know why you’re being bitchy with me.” You say sheepishly.
Because frankly you’re annoyed, she’s acting like it’s your fault.
“Wouldn’t have to..you’re the one decide to practically stumble with him upstairs.” Ellie says harshly. She didn’t mean for it to come out that way. It just..did?
And for that reason you frowned.
You only opened the door for her.
“Go to the washroom.” You say looking at the body which trailed beside you.
“What?” Ellie questions face turning red.
“Your shirt” You confirm. “It’s covered in blood.” You say dryly. You’re clearly mad at her.
Ellie just nods, she’s embarrassed at her own actions, her choice of words also weren’t the brightest..?
Once she gets into your bathroom which is right beside your bedroom she just sits on the sink for a few seconds.
It doesn’t take long before she heard your light knock. A signal you’re outside waiting.
“Yeah come in.” Ellie sighs. Rubbing one hand down her face avoiding the throbbing nose.
You hand her a t-shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts.
Ellie looks down at them then back at you. “I’m sorry..” She says shortly continuing. “For the fight- ignoring you. Then what I said after.” She says.
“Thank you.” You say awkwardly.
It hasn’t been this awkward since the day the both of you first met each other.
This is because Ellie knows a certain questions on your mind.
You know it too. It’s looming. And even though you wanna ask it, you don’t.
Your voice comes out quiet. “I’ll wait in my bedroom.” You clear your throat. “For you” You nod.
Ellie nods too and smiles. “Okay” She mumbles out.
You laid flat on your bed until you heard the door opening. Ellie walked in your bedroom, throwing her previous clothes somewhere on the floor.
She didn’t say much. She just got beside you in bed, something which was overall normal when she’d stay the night.
Just this time it was quiet and cold, despite the hot weather.
You guys both tumbled during that night, you still felt tipsy, and your head felt like it was spinning. Something which wasn’t going away.
The fact Ellie was moving around meant she was definitely fading between consciousness and a deep sleep.
So since you both were in that tired state, it hardly registered when she turned sideways having her arm draped over you, falling right on your waist.
And that was the first issue.
Because did you pull back.
Nope!..
You fucking pushed yourself back into Ellie, finally feeling her lips shadow your neck.
Her breath was warm, extremely steady and she was fading into that deep sleep she lacked a few minutes ago.
Because now once she was holding onto you, it felt like she was on cloud nine.
And for her it didn’t even feel like it went to her brain, if you told Ellie that moment was all a dream she 100% would have believed it.
You moved your body around now so your faces where positioned in front of each other. You looped one arm around her waist and the other behind her neck, head positioned right on her chest.
Your lips hit her collar bone, and it wasn’t like you kissed that area or anything.
You just let them sit there.
“You okay..?” Ellie sleepily mumbles.
“Mhm..” You say.
Waking up in the country was odd.
Because it wasn’t peaceful, nope. There was a rooster which worked as a free alarm clock. Always starting around 8am, so really extremely bright and early.
You woke up with the feeling of a hand on your back, and your head is sat on another body. The hand on you was poking between the sliver of skin between your shirt and shorts.
There was a thumb dragging back and forth and your hips.
Yet you soon realized that hand that belonged to Ellie.
Your whole face turned red.
And you’re now in auto pilot, because you’re jumping out of your bed like there was a million ants that laid there.
But no, only Ellie..
Her eyes opened slowly, the pain in her nose now becoming more prominent then ever..
But she didn’t care, not right now at least.
Because last night wasn’t a dream? Nope.
You guys slept in the same bed. Hugged, cuddled, and at one point your lips were on her skin..
And both of you are now dealing with the consequences the next morning.
Ellies eyes can’t scan your face, she doesn’t know what the fuck you’re trying to relay but it’s not processing for her. And maybe because you yourself don’t even know what to feel.
You were in a moment of shock. Not knowing what to say. Or even what to fucking do.
So you do the only think you can think of.
“Ellie you should leave!” You spit out. It was a panicked statement. Yet it just came out harsh and rude. Now leaving Ellie to feel like the idiot.
“What..?” Ellie questions, she’s fucking shell shocked herself.
She didn’t know what to except, just wasn’t this.
“You need to leave!” You spit again. “Now!”
Ellie stands up collecting her clothes off the floor. Even though the scene which is playing out almost seems like a hookup. It was so fucking far from that.
Because instead of it being a hookup you’re going insane over one stupid night, which on the contrary could mean absolutely nothing.
But you know that you felt something, that makes everything worse.
Ellie’s puts on her shoes before looking at you.
“You’re ridiculous you know?” She says looking straight at you before turning to leave your room.
You only follow her out though, convincing yourself it’s only because you need to make sure she’s really leaving. Which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
“What.?” You say following her down the stairs.
“Don’t fucking act all innocent.” She says looking at you.
“I asked you last night- I asked if you we’re okay!” She yells, she sorta wants it to come out as harsh. Yet it just comes out tired, weak like.
“I was drunk?! For fuck sake Ellie!” You yell back at her. It was a pity accuse for sure. It was just easier that way. You wanted to make her feel stupid.
Yet you felt stupid, because you we’re currently denying what you felt for Ellie, and you were doing that by hurting her.
“The people at the party were right. Jack- all of them.” You couldn’t even process what you were saying, it just came out. In another moment of panic? So your face frowns, really fucking fast.
You immediately remember thinking last night how you would ���never repeat the shit they said to her.’
And you didn’t, but you almost said worse.
Causing you to switch up fast shaking your head.
You start fast. “Ellie I didn’t mea-“
Ellie shakes her head opening the front door. “Fuck you.”
You knew you fucked up.
Joel’s still here and you’d have to think of some lie as to why Ellie went home early.
And to be fair that’s the last thing you cared about, because you single handily said the worst possible thing in that moment.
And because of it.
You’ve lost Ellie.
A/N -> new series 😋😋
I’m switching up my style a bit and going back to the past, I wasn’t fucking born in the 70s so don’t come for me if something is not historically accurate?
I genuinely remember searching up “skinny jeans 70s” tryna see if it was accurate, and spoiler alert (mfs where not wearing that! 🗣️) Like they sorta were but not rlly.
But idc!
As i’m writing this I haven’t even started fated hearts start with fire soo yeah! But maybe if ur lucky it’ll be posted by the time this comes out.
That’s all, hope you enjoyed reading and lmk if you wanna be on the taglist!
(Likes and reblogs are always appreciated)
#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie williams x reader#lgbtq#ellie x reader#ellie x you#the last of us#the last of us two#loser!ellie#ellie x y/n#thelastofus#loser ellie#elliewilliams#ellie williams smut#ellie x fem reader#ellie tlou#ellie smut#lgbtqia#lesbian fic#lesbian#lesbian post#pride month#ellie#ellie williams audio#wlwpost#wlw ns/fw#wlw smut#wlw#wlw post
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MY SHAYLA
#yara tlou#the hunger games#the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#wlw#wlwpost#video games#my edit#edit
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now touch yourself and think about me 🤭
#wlw#wlwpost#wlw domme#wlw dom/sub#wlw sub#wlw nsft#wlw yearning#wlw smut#wlw blog#wlw ns/fw#wlw bd/sm#wlw kink#touch#don’t be shy#lesbian smut#lesbian#legs open
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her boxer band peeking over her low rise jeans has me feeling like a victorian man getting a glimpse of ankle for the first time
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i was everything she hated but she was everything i wanted to be
~where i was once 12.07.24
#philosophy#thought daughter#gay#journal#queer#writers on tumblr#religious trauma#palegrunge#deconstruction#dark academia#closetedlesbian#house in nebraska#sun bleached flies#ex christian#exvangelical#wlw#wlwpost#longing#heartache#change#love#hate#lesbian#sapphic#lesbianism#wlw post#ethel cain#preachers daughter#punish ethel cain#daughter of cain
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Manifesting an artsy, witchy gf to match my freak.
#wlw#sapphic#lesbians#lgbtq#witchylesbian#olderwlw#wlwposts#wlw yearning#sapphic yearning#witchy woman#artsywlw#artsy#artsystuff#art girl#artist#wlw art#wlw aesthetic#aesthetic#just thoughts#just girly things#agatha all along#agatha harkness
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Struggle is real
#aesthetic#art#whimsical#witchblr#witchy#witchy woman#goth#wlw#wlw post#wlw yearning#lesbian#lesbianyearning#yearning#sapphic yearning#wlw poetry#wlwposts#girls#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#artist
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Serena
Disclaimer: This is based off something I wrote, my characters Serena and Calista. Calista was dating Lysander and trying to recover from a traumatic past but struggling with self-harm. She doesn't have really bad disordered eating but she does have a bad relationship with food. Also it's probably really bad but...enjoy
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I was terribly and irrevocably in love with her, I just didn't know it yet at that time. Now looking back, now reflecting upon it- I was perhaps the worst person possible.
And in love.
Love makes you do awful things, but I was more than awful. I was horrible to her. She had a terrible relationship with food and I knew that, but I basically promoted it to her. I will forever loathe myself for that. I am now gone and I am so, so jealous of Lysander who can grieve for her openly. Everyone expects that. But from me...
I am jealous, even though she was never mine. And she never even knew how I felt. She wasn't mine but I was hers. I was hers the first time I saw her. I just couldn't stop. She was beautiful. So beautiful. Maybe I should have focused on helping her see that instead of trying to act nonchalant and 'cool'. I was just insensitive and cruel.
Calista, the first time she saw me, she was wandering around the college campus. She approached me for no particular reason, and asked for my name. I could hardly even answer her. When I saw her, my heart said- She's the one for me.
But I was ignorant and hated myself, hated her, for feeling that way.
To put simply, I was homophobic. I hated myself but decided to project the hate on Calista, who was oblivious to my feelings.
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Summer Blossoms
PT3 - Veil Of Petals
masterlist
PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 4
Falling in love is hard. Worse when you know it can’t happen.
Summery -> You and Ellie were now under the same impression, you’re friends once again, the rough patch of your friendship now supposedly over..if only it was that easy!
This chapter contains -> Heavy with internalized homophobia / A lot of this part is in Reads POV / Angst / Jealous!Reader finally makes an appearance / Cat also makes an appearance 🌚 / Cat and Ellie sorta have a thing / No established relationship but ig it’s implied / Denying of feelings / I describe readers clothing once / Kissing / Lots of confusion / Tensionnnnnnn / They’re both convinced that feelings aren’t reciprocated / Eventual smut! / (Lmk if I missed anything!!!) /
WC : 8k
(Not proofread)
You were desperate.
You knew you put the nail in the coffin with Ellie.
You could easily sense how the atmosphere between you two changed. Sure you were “friends,” on good pages, but you both felt it. It couldn’t help but feel like the two of you were actively stepping over broken glass at the hands of you.
You shattered that previous connection as soon as you yelled at Ellie. Agreeing with what the party attendees said, what Jack said. And you wanted so bad to think that maybe a part of that freakout was indeed valid. That the whole situation was the fault of Ellie. But it was just a shitty excuse, something to cover how you actually felt about her. A feeling that you aren’t sure you’ve ever truly had. I mean, the last thing you wanted to admit is that maybe you’ve fallen for a girl.
So you yelled at her without a second thought; you made her feel stupid, gross, like she was the problem. Because to you, that felt easier, far easier than accepting that maybe you not pulling back from her that night, letting your lips rest on her pale skin, mumbling that you were okay with what was playing out actually fucking meant something-
You genuinely just wanted to ignore that there was a chance it wasn’t all on her. And you knew why. You knew that she was different; from the little moments where she would smile at something you said, it was embarrassing how fast your heart would suddenly increase in pace. Or when her touch would linger, and coincidentally you were hyperaware of anything and everything around you...
You’d like to think you’re not dumb, but it shouldn’t have taken Ellie assuring you that she didn’t see you that way, confirming to your face that she never actually had feelings for you, adding on how you were just her best friend; her uttering those sentences shouldn’t have made you realize that a friend wasn't all she was. It was laughable, because really, how was that the night where it clicked? You genuinely couldn’t wrap your head around that being the moment where you realized you liked Ellie. It was ridiculous.
And now, you’re coming to the realization that the Ellie you liked, that version of her, was gone. And the worst part was it wasn’t in the form of her being a dick or ignoring you. She never deliberately treated you differently. She was just more aware of how you two acted together. She didn’t lie on your bedroom floor, peeking over your shoulder to get a glance of your book. Rather, she stayed on your bed.
Late nights filled with laughs, and often drives also stopped, and even if you wanted to, you couldn’t even fucking blame her. Ellie stopped making that effort, and in all honesty, you did too. It was a tremendous shift from the beginning of your friendship, which once felt so light, now felt extremely forced. Like you were trying to fix a broken piece of glass, it was impossible to hide those shatters.
Because fuck, it was to the point where the only time you guys would actually hang out was when Joel would come over to see your father.
It was like she’d be scared to be in your personal space again, and even though you knew Ellie would never tell you, you were fully aware that the outcome of your friendship was your fault. And you weren’t even sure if you could fix it.
You have a little over a month to spend at your dad's place, and then, soon enough, you’d go back home to your mom's, prepared to pack your bags and leave for college. And it was like a polar opposite from when you first arrived, because despite being desperate in the beginning to leave, you wanted nothing more than to have more time. Try to mend whatever you broke. Yet time was ticking, and you can’t stop the inevitable. You were sure to be leaving soon.
As you are lying on your bed, your mind racing with a billion different thoughts, the faint sound of a yell is heard echoing from downstairs. You sigh and sit up, pushing your palms against your mattress. You’re not even sure if you heard correctly.
Much to your dismay, soon enough there was a swing of the door, and your father walked in with a bright smile displayed all over his face. “Do I have to get a megaphone for you?” He chuckles, his voice a little strained.
A dry chuckle leaves your lips, quickly having them curl into a smile. With a light shake of your head, you respond, “No?” You pause and swing your legs over the edge of your bed; you talk as you rise to your feet. “What's up?”
“Joel and Ellie are coming over today.” He pauses and then continues. “For dinner—and, uh, when Ellie gets here, I just need you two to swing by the grocery store and get some food.” He smiles thoughtfully.
You hate how this one sentence has your body flooding with anxiety; obviously, you’re aware of how you and Ellie have hung out after the lake house; you just didn’t want to be trapped in a car with her…! You can already picture the awkward silence, both of you getting rather quiet in uncomfortable situations. And your silence leaves your dad confused; he awkwardly clears his throat before speaking up, eyes on you. “Does that work on your schedule?” He jokes, offering a different manner. Thankfully, it does help cloud your worries to a certain extent.
You just nod, a light laugh leaving your lips. “Yes—yeah, sorry, I was just thinking.” You smile at him before turning around to make your bed. Your best attempt to clean up your room before Ellie gets here. It’s also the moment where your smile instantly fades.
Your dad has noticed a shift in your behaviour since the two of you came back from Joel's lake house. Probably even before that.
Sure he was aware of how yours and Ellie’s hangouts suddenly stopped, of course being before your father dragged you to the lake house. It was extremely sudden; like as soon as Ellie left Joel sleeping at your house alone, her truck gone, was the same moment where your demeanour changed. Both of yours for that matter. Because of course he saw how you guys talked again after that lake house, but it wasn’t the same. You were far more distant with each other, Ellie only coming when Joel would be there to hang out with him. And he couldn’t pinpoint why. He just wasn't quite sure why the only person you’ve met since you arrived at his farmhouse is now the one he rarely sees you with.
It was truly like your mind always has something going on inside of it. Zoning out was now a regular thing with you; every so often, in the middle of a conversation, it’s like the gears inside your brain jammed, like you were experiencing a feeling of mystification.
But unfortunately, your dad being your dad, he just doesn’t think to mention it. He can only assume you're nervous about leaving your mom to go to college. Dwelling on it. And fuck, how you wish that was all it was.
Roars from outside catch your attention; the distinct sound of a truck pulling up is a telltale sound that Ellie and Joel are here. Your dad faces your back as you make your bed; regardless, he still talks. “Looks like they’re here!” He says feet trailing outside your bedroom. Quickly hearing how the creaks of the floorboards make their way downstairs.
And as soon as your dad is gone, you shut your door and grab an outfit from your dresser, throwing it on as you try your best to fix your messy hair, hoping it now falls along the lines of being decently presentable. And you’re about to head downstairs, opening your bedroom door in preparation, but you stop. Though you can’t actually understand what they’re saying, there are three voices. Joel's, Ellies. And one extra. I mean, you didn’t think you were going crazy, but you were almost sure you heard an additional voice, a woman’s to be exact. It sounded soft, less raspy if anything, that being a clear distinction that it wasn’t Ellies.
And sure enough, you got further confirmation when you trailed downstairs. A woman was standing right beside Ellie. She seemed maybe a year or two older than you; she had tattoos trailing all over her arms and dark eyes, paired with raven hair. And you stopped to look at her for a few seconds and to say she was pretty; that would be a huge understatement, and without any type of warning, you were now immensely mindful of how you looked.
A wave of self-consciousness passed through you like clockwork.
Ellie's eyes were only on the woman, and you were almost sure she hadn't even seen you walking down the stairs. Not till Joel spoke up, his eyes locked with yours as he stepped forward. “Hey kid!” He smiles and continues softly, his accent thick. “Your dad tells me that you here are picking up a few things from the grocery store!”
And as Ellie hears Joel talk, she finally pulls her eyes away from the woman, her green irises and soft smile now directed towards you. She awkwardly keeps her hand at her waist and waves at you.
You feel like you have to force your eyes off of her, trying to give your full attention to Joel as you turn his direction, you give him nod to confirm what he said, of course paired with an awkward smile.
And as you finish your sentence, you're locking eyes back with Ellie’s green ones. You give her a soft smile, waving your hand back at her.
You try to ignore how the woman’s eyes haven't left Ellie’s side profile, like she's still trying to pin her attention. Although you feel a pang of uncomfortability hit your chest, you manage to talk, an unfamiliar ache staining the area right after. “Yeah—with Ellie, I think?”
Ellie nods softly at you. And in what's coming, consistency, she looks right back at the woman. The same girl whose name you don't even know...! “Are you going to come with us? To the grocery store?”
Fucking Christ. You look at the girl, then right back at Ellie. Who even is this, and why is she even in your dad's house? Why was she in the car with them? There are a thousand questions going through your mind. I mean, you literally saw Ellie less than a week ago; there was never even a mention of this woman? ... I mean, of course she didn’t owe you that; you just assumed she’d tell you.
And it’s like Joel catches your unease and discomfort because he nudges Ellie lightly, directing his eyes towards your face; this has Ellie's eyes following, of course landing straight on you. She reads your confusion, leading her to quickly clear her throat; she manages to mumble out a shitty introduction. “Shit—sorry, this is Cat!”
Joel smiles and talks, looking at you, then at your dad. “She’s staying with us for about a week, helping me with tasks around the farm! Right before summer ends!” He looks back and forth between you, Ellie, and Cat.
The tension in the room eases to a certain extent; I mean that was better than what you were leaning towards. Yet it only further confused you in why she and Ellie seemed so…close? You didn’t really understand why Cat seemed so entrapped by Ellie's mere presence, but you tried to ignore it. It’s not your business.
Ellie absently leans back and forth on her heels for a solid second; she looks at you and Cat. The silence now stretching for what feels like hours. She clears her throat before speaking. Eyes trailing back to the raven-headed girl, “We can head out now...?” Ellie looks at you. “If that's alright with you guys?”
You just nod and mumble out a quick “Mhm,” your hand moving to pick up your pair of shoes, sliding them on both of your feet. Ellie doesn’t necessarily wait up for you, her feet moving out the door before you even get on your second shoe. And of course neither does Cat.
It’s literally like she's some parasite stuck to Ellie, yet it’s like Ellie enjoys her presence! Like she doesn’t care that some woman is following her around...!
And now, you’re of course getting the feeling that they don’t want you there.
Cat ended up taking the passenger seat without a second thought, so it left you in the back, alone.
Now leaving you to watch as they interacted with each other.
Ellie would turn back every so often; she wanted to try and include you in their conversation, but you genuinely didn’t understand half the shit they were talking about. It was all about work, specifically work in the farm department, so for half the car ride you were just sitting there awkwardly! You already weren’t excited to be in a car with Ellie, but now you’re in a car with Ellie and some woman you’ve never fucking communicated with.
You tried your best to push down your judgment on Cat; as the car ride went on, you figured that she seemed nice enough.?
She made Ellie laugh a lot.
It reminded you a lot of how the two of you sounded before everything went down, and now you’re wondering if you had never freaked out on her that night, maybe that would be you in the front seat, making her laugh at stupid inside jokes. That feeling of reminiscing almost made this whole situation worse. It made you feel fucking sick to your stomach.
I mean anyone with a pair of eyes could see Ellie was equally as interested in the girl, like she couldn’t get enough of her jokes and conversation; you haven’t seen Ellie like that in a while.
And then the muffled sound of Cat's voice shatters through your train of thought, “So…how old are you?” Cat turns around in the passenger seat, eyes locking with yours.
You pause, your eyes moving back and forth between her pair... “W-what?” You look at your hands nervously, shifting them back up at her as you finish your sentence. You couldn’t understand why you found this woman so intimidating. Maybe it was the fact she asked you a question as you were staring off into space.
Or maybe how she’s had Ellie’s attention almost the whole drive...!
Cat just simply chuckles and looks at you, her dark eyes looking at your confused face, “Just asked how old you were?” She looks at Ellie and sorta laughs. Ellie's eyes shift to look at her, eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiles, cheeks noticeably turning pink before her gaze focuses back on the road.
You look at the two of them and fight the urge to roll your eyes. It’s getting a bit theatrical at this point; no way looking at someone has Ellie's cheeks turning fucking pink. “I’m 18.” You look at Cat, clearing your throat in the process. “You?”
She smiles as she directs her attention back at Ellie. “Shit, Williams, didn’t realize you hung around 18 year olds?” She’s obviously kidding; you’re not stupid; you can tell she’s making a joke, but it was fucking dumb; Ellie was 19 for fuck's sake! “Shut up, man.” Ellie chuckles and looks at Cat for a solid second, eyes swiftly moving back to the road.
Cat talks and smiles, “I’m 21.” She chuckles, replying to your unanswered question. You watch as she looks straight back at Ellie. It’s like they couldn’t pull their eyes away from each other.
And you can’t get over how different Ellie’s acting is, like she’s trying to put on a show for some audience. However, the only audience is some chick. Like she’s throwing on some cool facade? It’s weird to say the least; Ellie never acts like this, at least she never acted like this when she was around you.
It makes you want to leave the car. Getting increasingly uncomfortable in the small atmosphere, you feel like they don’t want you there. Plus, the small comment on your age made you embarrassed.
You just reply to Cat with a simple nod.
And it’s like your prayers are answered because the car finally parks in front of the store. You immediately unbuckle your seatbelt and open the trunk door to get out.
And you’re starting to think maybe you were wrong; maybe Ellie was still mad. And sure, she had the right to be? But fuck, you were just in serious need of your friendship going back to normal; you hated being whatever this was.
The worst sting so far was the fact Ellie didn’t even hesitate to open Cat's door for her, in the meantime practically ignoring you. You observe the two of them for a few seconds, neither of them even paying mind that you were in fact also in the car.
You awkwardly watch as Cat tilts her head at Ellie, batting her eyelashes at her, as if she is starving for some sort of reaction. And a reaction she gets, because almost instantaneously, Ellie's cheeks stain a light pink. Cats hand now trailing her forearm, of course where her tattoo is.
You’re grateful for the open surroundings of the parking lot. It genuinely made leaving them and walking straight to the grocery store easy, you having zero intent to wait up for them.
As you were looking for your items, your head kept glancing at the list your father provided; you tried to distract yourself with literally anything. The sounds, the environment, anything that now surrounds you, and unfortunately nothing fucking worked; it’s like you could get your mind off of stupid Ellie.
And it was ludicrous, outlandish even. She could even lock eyes with you for more than 30 seconds, yet you’re over here in a grocery store fully ready to cry, a familiar burn in your throat appearing.
Ellie's soft voice has your train of thought snap, “So? What are we looking for exactly? She asks, green eyes on you as she smiles softly. You look around; you see Cat not too far away; she’s fully distracted talking to a worker; your best guess is her trying to find something.
You stare at Ellie for a few seconds, your hand moving itself as you hand her the list, intentionally trying to avoid making conversation with her. Ellie watches as you conveniently ignore her presence, in the sense that you won’t talk to her. That simple action makes her frown.
“You alright?” She mumbles, awkwardly clearing her throat as her eyes don’t peel away from your figure. You look back at her, eyes finally locking as you nod. “I’m fine.” You say, your voice strong with the tone of confidence. It’s almost like you’re not only trying to convince Ellie there’s nothing wrong, but also yourself.
You grab a few items from the list, pulling your eyes away from her, actively trying to distract yourself, way better than focusing on how Ellie’s shoulders deflate, catching the fact that you lied to her face.
Her eyes go soft, nodding softly at your response, hands trailing into her pockets.
She doesn’t even understand; are you mad at her? Because that’s all she’s thinking, her mind is racing, trying to come up with any explanation as to why you suddenly seem annoyed by her. And just as she was about to talk, completely prepared to ask you once again if you were actually okay, Cat walked over in queue, her hand moving straight to Ellie’s shoulder. “You guys okay?” She asks softly; it seems like a general question directed to the both of you. But you see how her dark eyes trail to only focus on the auburn-haired girl. It’s clear to see Cat doesn’t actually care about what you're currently feeling. Clearly just trying to be polite.
Ellie looks at you rather than Cat; her eyes are trying their best to read you, and for once she doesn’t care how she has Cat's arms on her. Ellie’s gaze lingers on you for an excessive amount of time; she notices how Cat's arms tighten slightly; however, to Ellie, it feels like nothing else at this moment matters. Her eyes are pleading with you, begging for you to break down this newly built wall. It makes the air feel heavy.
You both feel it...
You pause and clear your throat, picking up one of the final items you need. “I’m fine.” You spit out, your eyes shifting towards Cats; you again have to force yourself to look away from Ellie’s green irises. Because once again you noticed that desperate look in her eyes, trying to understand what she might have done to upset you.
It never wavers either, even after you left the grocery store, all three of you getting in Ellie’s truck, journeying back to your dad's place. Her newfound concern has your chest tighten. The car ride back has a huge shift, everyone in the car growing more quiet than usual; you avoid talking as best as you can, eyes constantly glancing to your hands.
It didn’t feel extremely long, the car pulling into the driveway shortly after you zoned out. It felt almost like your body moved itself, unbuckling yourself from the seatbelt, opening the car door to land on the ground, the soft crunch of the gravel falling under each pair of feet. The familiar sight of your dad's home offered some comfort, especially after being in a car with Ellie and Cat for so fucking long.
You were the first to enter your dad's home, creating some much-needed space between the pair. As you drag your feet through the home, you hear the sound of Ellie and Cat talking. You also catch the exhausted sigh Ellie lets out, and as you turn back, you see Cat leaning over into Ellie, brushing over her arm as she mumbles an incoherent sentence.
You don’t stop to listen; instead, you continue with the grocery bags in your hand, and you try your best to pretend the tightening in your chest doesn’t increase. Instead, distract your mind by joining Joel and your father outside on the porch.
Your dad quickly notices you walking outside and quickly smiles, stopping his conversation with Joel. “Took you long enough, kid.” He jokes a chuckle leaving his mouth. You see Joel snicker, a beer resting in his hands. You just roll your eyes, talking softly. “Yeah, well next time—“ you push the grocery bags in his chest, “you can get it yourself!”
Your dad jokingly puts up his hands defensively; you look at him for a few seconds, mouth open, as you are about to talk. Yet the sound of the door sliding open caught your attention, your own eyes now peering behind you.
By the time Ellie and Cat join, you hear their chattering, well…mainly just Cat's! You see Ellie positioned right behind her, her green eyes flickering towards you, now desperately trying to catch her gaze. You notice it, and you ignore it, turning around to look right back at your dad.
Ellie sighs. She stops for a few seconds; it’s hard to understand what the fuck is wrong when you refuse to even talk to her. And in that moment she hesitantly turns towards Cat, her voice soft as she speaks. “Shit—I think I left my keys on the counter. Do you mind?” Ellie says, eyes partially on Cat, and in a swift motion flicking back towards you.
Cat nods; from your position, you can’t hear what she says, but soon enough the door is sliding open, closing only a few seconds after.
Ellie lingers at the doorway for a few seconds; she’s currently trying to psych herself up. She didn’t get why she still cared so much about your interpretation of her; you guys are just good friends. She knows that now. And plus, she has Cat, someone who she’s 90% sure likes her.
Regardless, nerves get the better of her, so she’s currently standing awkwardly with her hands stuffed into her pockets; it probably doesn’t help that her gaze is literally burning into your figure, only making her even more fucking nervous. She clears her throat and murmurs a short “Fuck“ feet now moving towards you, the porch creaking with each step.
“Hey...!” She taps your shoulder lightly, her voice soft and careful. As you turn around, she watches as your gaze lingers on her face, not uttering a word. And that’s what sends Ellie into a state of panic; it was dramatic, sure, but you being completely silent makes Ellie’s heart increase in pace, that leading her to speak once again. “Are you alright? You just seem— She stops as soon as she sees a long sigh leave your lips, eyes closing as if you are exhausted.
It takes you a few seconds to push some words out of your mouth, and as you do, your voice takes a tired tone. “Why do you keep asking me that, Ellie? I'm fine.” It comes out a tad bit harsher than intended, and you watch as her face shifts, starting to materialize with a sad frown. She just awkwardly clears her throat, her hand coming to rub the back of her neck. “I don’t—I don’t know?” She stutters, her voice wavering; she's starting to wonder why she constantly bothers; it’s so clear you don’t fucking need to be checked up on. She doesn’t understand why she can’t get that easy information through her head.
“I’m—I’m sorry... but I'm fine?” You look at her, your voice now soft as you softly reassure her, both of you looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds. For those few seconds, it feels like it used to. Ellie’s green eyes shining in the sun. You always liked how they looked, something you've never thought to even tell her, and maybe if it was like it was before, you would tell her.
You notice how her eyes are bouncing back and forth between your pair; she clears her throat out of nervousness, looking down as she says her next sentence. “Like, are you mad at me or something?” She asks, instantly awaiting an answer once it leaves her lips.
You pause for a few seconds; your initial response is to completely deny it, because truthfully you’re not mad at Ellie…You don’t think you are? And shockingly, a large part of you wants to tell her the truth. But the fact that those words feel like they’re burning in your throat makes you second-guess that decision. In all honesty, it feels like you’ve hardly even accepted it yourself; you are sure you like Ellie, but admitting that out loud—no way...
You’re about to talk, taking a long, deep breath, eyes searching for hers. You want to try your best to lay it all out. Maybe give her a watered-down version of your feelings; that way it may not feel as scary. It’s simple enough to say the night in your bedroom meant something, where you laid your head on her chest, falling asleep in each other's arms. That doesn’t necessarily mean you like her? It just means that maybe that night didn’t need to be deemed as some mistake.
“Ellie—“
As you attempt to speak, the sound of the door sliding catches both of your attention. The dark-eyed girl comes outside, her body moving straight towards Ellie, arm instantly looping around hers. She didn’t even stop to acknowledge the fact that you were just talking, and without a second thought, she spoke. “Couldn’t find your keys on the counter, sorry Els…”
However, Ellie's gaze never leaves your face, and without delay, Cat notices. She sees how it falls on you, like the auburn-haired girl can’t pull her eyes away from you. And it’s like Cat noticing that; it only made her hold onto Ellie tighter, her hand trailing back and forth on Ellie’s forearm. Like she’s looking for a reaction. And although you feel one, you don’t let it show on your face, leaving it carefully neutral; it wasn’t as hard as you thought to act like you hadn't even noticed.
You see how Cat shifts slightly, a soft smile present on her face; it’s subtle, and it makes you wonder what she’s even trying to convey, and you know that this smile isn’t the result of holding Ellie. You see how she's staring right at you! And it makes you confused, because someone who seemed nice in the beginning is now seeming like a burden to have around, and sure she’s Ellie’s…friend, but it appears like she’s doing it on purpose. Intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable!
And although it seemed obvious to you, Ellie, on the other hand, is completely oblivious. Or at least she's pretending to be; her eyes are still locked on you with an inexplicable amount of intensity, like she’s still awaiting your answer to her question. You watch as her lips part, as if she’s about to talk. You even believe she might, yet not even a second later her lips close and she turns, her green eyes now looking straight at Cat. “Ahh…okay, I think I may have just misplaced them.” Ellie smiles sweetly, clears her throat, and continues. “Sorry for making you look.”
Cat shakes her head and smiles. “It’s not a problem.”
And that’s how it often went. Two quickly became three. If Ellie was at your dad's place, so was Cat. Like they were connected, interlinked in a way.
And to say it was awkward, that’d easily be putting it lightly. You felt like an unintentional third wheel constantly...! You watched as Cat made it a point to only talk to Ellie, regardless of whether she was in your space! It was comical really; you could be in your bedroom with the pair, and somehow, the conversation would always revolve completely around Ellie. It was as if you were invisible, or maybe some convenient backdrop to their little inside jokes.
And as always, that's what was happening tonight.
You would watch as Cat's eyes would always occasionally flicker towards you, as if she was making sure you were still watching as they bonded together; you’d also watch as they would immediately move back to Ellie, like some magnetic connection. Maybe it was dramatic, but even sitting in your small room, it felt like you were miles apart from them. Like you couldn’t break into their invisible thread that seemed to entrap them.
And it wasn’t even like you wanted to be the centre of attention. It wasn't even about that…? But it was so hard not to notice how they were always talking, and you were just there; it felt like the hangouts were pointless. It was difficult to act like it wasn’t a big deal. And you knew that they were friends after all. You haven't seen them do anything other than light touches, which were always initiated by Cat. And you knew their closeness was not something to be threatened by; plus, Cat left in a few days anyway, her week with Joel quickly coming to an end.
But knowing that made you sad, and not because of Cat; you were sad because you knew you were shortly after. After she was gone, you had less than a month to spend at your dad's house, and not dwelling on that became an impossible task.
“Do you mind grabbing the drinks from Ellie's truck?” Cat says cutting off your train of thought. You stay silent for a few seconds, not only out of habit, but you weren’t even sure if she was talking to you; it takes Ellie’s eyes flicking towards you to understand that it was indeed a question directed at you. Your silence is what makes Cat chuckle, heat rising to your cheeks without missing a second.
“Right...” you mutter, the words barely escaping your lips as you swing your legs over your bed. Cat is already turning her head, presumably to go straight back to meet Ellie's eyes, ready to spike up more conversation. It makes you sigh softly, your legs feeling heavy as you attempt to start moving forward. All you really want to do is leave your bedroom; being in a space with Ellie and Cat is starting to feel suffocating. The task already felt hard enough; your movements haltered and slow, it only got worse as Ellie stood abruptly, standing in front of you, which ends up blocking your path.
You look at her for a few seconds, your mannerisms expressing your clear confusion. Ellie's eyes are staring intensely at you, every so often looking back and forth between you and Cat, Cat's body still sitting on the floor. Ellie's silence comes to an end as she manages to spit out a stuttered sentence: “N-need a hand?”
Cat's face immediately drops as Ellie talks, silently trying to express her distaste through her eyes; luckily, it doesn't work. Ellie doesn’t even notice Cat's dark eyes on her; all she can focus on is the girl in front of her, the girl who is you. When Ellie looks at you, she suddenly understands why your opinion of her still mattered so much. It’s hard to lose those feelings immediately, even after how persistent she was to lock them away.
Her gaze makes you nervous, eyes trailing to your bedroom door behind Ellie. You pause for a few seconds before attempting to break past her figure, all while forgetting there was still a girl on your floor, actively watching the both of you. Your voice comes out short as you move hastily, “I—I’m fine, Ellie. Thank you, though.”
Ellie quickly shakes her head, cutting you off as she makes eye contact with you once again. “No, no, I don’t mind. The cases are heavy, so...! She says awkwardly as she opens your bedroom door, and Ellie watches as you walk out of your bedroom door; it was clear that Ellie wasn't taking no for an answer.
You turn around, watching as Ellie mumbles something to Cat. Cats face expressing nothing but a sour expression, she seems mad at Ellie, or maybe even you. Regardless, it doesn’t take long before Ellie leaves Cat alone in your bedroom; a part of you wants to feel bad, but then again, Cat clearly didn’t when she left you out of conversations.
Ellie is quiet as she walks down the creaky stairs of your dad's house. Truthfully, both of you were doing your best to keep quiet; maybe it was out of awkwardness.
She is trailing behind you, keys jiggling as she grabs them out of her pocket. And finally she talks, breaking that wall of tension both of you previously had up. “Cat leaves in 2 days, you know?” Ellie says softly, opening the door as you both trail outside. She unlocks her car, quickly grabbing a case of alcohol that Cat purchased.
“Yeah, but who's counting?” You joke, your eyes locking with Ellie's. Your manner has both of you ease up, stepping into territory that felt like how it was before that night. You watch as Ellie's lips curl into a soft smile, a chuckle leaving her lips as her eyes light up slightly.
You instantly let out a soft sigh of relief; you weren't sure if she was going to laugh at your words. Both of you have been stale, so that little chuckle felt like endless confirmation that maybe it wasn’t doomed, your friendship that is.
“I was just lettin’ you know!” She says, pausing as she thinks of her next words carefully. Her own mind drifting away from the woman who is still inside waiting for the both of you to return. “There’s a lake you know...?” A quaver in her voice as if she's nervous.
You glance at her for a few seconds; you’re curious, maybe even a little intrigued. “A lake?” You dampen, eyebrow raising at her words. “Like…a secret one, or one I just didn’t know about.” The pause between the two of you lingers; it almost feels like Ellie’s opening up again, like the doors you were sure you sealed shut are starting to be pushed open, like those cracks are becoming visible once again. You both feel it.
“How many lakes do you know about?” Ellie tilts her head, a grin on her face as if she's challenging you. Her words make you laugh as you shrug, your voice coming out light as you stare at each other. “I don't know—just what's so cool about this lake?”
“I don’t know; it’s quiet. Peaceful, if you will?” Ellie talks, a stupid smirk on her face as she says the last four words, eyes flickering down to the case of alcohol, promptly being held up in her two hands. “I mean, it’s a little out of the way…” She continues, eyes moving back to you. “But literally no one ever goes there; we could check it out.” Ellie smiles as she looks at you, nervously rubbing the back of her neck.
“Okay!”
Three days later you guys do end up going out to that same lake Ellie mentioned.
You found yourself sitting in Ellie's passenger seat of her truck; you genuinely couldn’t remember the last time it was just the two of you in this car, not being forced upon awkward circumstances. Granted, it wasn’t like it wasn’t awkward; the two of you didn’t really know what to talk about. Even so, the soft hum of the engine and the cracking of the radio filled the unwanted silence, which was nice.
Cat being gone also felt like a breath of fresh air, the weight lifting off the space of you and Ellie. You really didn't realize how heavy the tension had been until it was gone; she was gone. Cat’s presence did always seem to hover, like she was lingering in a possessive sense. Her gestures always being small yet noticeable. Her hands always finding excuses to be on Ellie's skin, the way she would always inch closer during conversations, she would constantly try to claim attention in ways that made you feel left out, regardless of being the person who had been there first.
The sound of Ellie's car pulling over to the side caught your attention, quickly snapping you out of your long train of thought. The tires were slowly crunching as they came to a stop; her car was now idling, sitting on a dirt patch beside the water. The lake stretches out before you; it was calm and still, the trees on the far side reflecting on the water. It felt like a place that demanded a slow breath, almost like it could wash away everything if you let it.
“Well...!” Ellie said as she killed the engine to her truck. She opened the door and hopped out of her truck; the dust below Ellie settled as she swung her legs out, planting them firmly on the ground. You watch as she makes her way to your side of the truck, hand reaching for the door as she opens it for you. That little moment had the air change for you. “This is it!” She almost sounded tentative, but there was a flicker of something else, something you hadn’t heard from Ellie in a while. Hope, maybe? Reminiscences of desire for normalcy, it’s something that has been missing between you two for so long.
“This is it!” You repeat, your eyes locked on her as you step out of her truck. “It’s beautiful.” You say eyes locked on the water as you take it all in. The shine of the stars was clearly reflecting on the water; it was all so pretty.
Ellie stood next to you for a few seconds, quiet at first as she took in the sight in front of her. Slowly she turns her head, eyes locking with you. “It is, isn’t it?” She smiles, the shine of the moon illuminating her eyes. You watch as her eyes move off of you, missing the moment where your cheeks tint a light shade of pink. You’re almost grateful she missed it.
Surely she’s doing this on purpose... That’s all you can think, the realization making your head spin. And you really couldn’t help but stare at her for a moment. Caught in the sincerity of her expression. Again, a look you haven’t seen in her in a while.
“So…” Ellie says, breaking the newfound tension, her voice a little louder as she says her next sentence, “Are we going swimming?” She spits out, her eyes fixated on the lake in front of the two of you. Her tone is almost casual, with no teasing edge to it.
“Swimming? Ellie I didn’t- you never even mentioned swimming. You spit out, eyes struck with clear confusion.
Ellie shrugs, a smile present on her face, specifically forming in the middle of her face, framing at the corner of her mouth. “Um, it’s a lake? I sort of assumed you‘d get the memo." She laughs softly.
You glance from the water to Ellie; you try to process her words. Sure, the offer seems inviting; the lake is calm and clear, but it’s not like you brought a bathing suit, plus the idea of jumping in freezing cold water was unsurprisingly uninviting.
“Hold on?!” You raise your hand; despite the raised voice, your tone is not serious, a clear smile written all over your face. “You came here to what?- swim? After all that talk about it being peaceful and quiet?” You look at her with an amused expression; you have to force yourself not to laugh at her. “Plus it’s almost midnight, not exactly ‘perfect’ swimming weather.”
Ellie smiles and shakes her head proudly, her legs moving fast as she gets to the edge of the water. “It’s perfect swimming weather if you ask me!”
“Turn around!” Ellie says hesitantly, her voice strong with undertones of embarrassment. Voice going soft and quiet. Bashful even.
“Why?” You ask, your voice instantly betraying your confusion.
Ellie’s gaze flickers to the side, avoiding yours for a moment, before she groans in frustration. “Just! Turn around!”
Your movements grow slow as you process her words, still not entirely sure as to what she's up to. Your eyes flicker to Ellie as she shifts her weight from one foot to another, clearly anxious. Those mannerisms make you fold, so you listen, turning around slowly.
After a few moments you hear the sound of fabric rustling, followed by the sound of a heavy drop hitting the ground. And suddenly you feel frozen.
Your heart genuinely feels like it stops for a few moments, completely caught off guard. Your brain is trying to process the fact that Ellie seems to be getting out of her clothes right behind you.
You hear the soft sound of splashes not coming too long after her clothes hitting the ground, and finally Ellie speaks once again. “Alright! Turn around!” Her voice is also a little shaky, leading you to take it as she’s nervous too; that factor makes you feel better. A breath of relief leaving your system.
You try to steady yourself, now breathing slowly, as you move your body at sloth speed to turn around and see Ellie.
You’re silently thanking the fact it’s night, the dark sky acting as a blanket over everything, the stars twinkling above, making you feel like they’re also watching this scene unfold. Soon enough you see Ellie swim closer into shore. “Okay, your turn!” Ellie shouts, looking at you, her sentence leaving you awkwardly standing. “What?!” You laugh out, No way. No way you're doing all this shit in front of Ellie.
“The water feels amazing!” She yells out, splashing around with her arms as if she’s trying to prove her point. At the same time trying to calm her own nerves!
You stare at her for a few seconds. “You’re insane.” You laugh softly, your heart rate now starting to calm down. The idea of being in front of Ellie with nothing but underwear and a bra seems terrible, far too vulnerable.
Ellie thinks for a few seconds, going quiet. “Look!” Ellie shouts, her figure now standing up in the water. You watch as she visibly turns around, as if she’s trying not to make this feel as weird as it does. And you do hesitate, eyes moving to the water below then to the starry night.
“It’s nice in the water, I promise!” Ellie says softly, a smile evident in her tone.
You look at her figure from behind, your heart picking back up again as you move your hands to the hem of your shirt. Hands moving above your head as you strip yourself of your t-shirt. The cool air hits your skin, and you feel the need to put back on your shirt, but you don't; you suck it up.
Your hands then move to your shorts, fingers accidentally fumbling with the buttons. The silence between you two is deafening, both under a silent understanding that maybe this moment deserves quietness. And in all honesty, when Ellie heard your clothes falling behind her, her thoughts ended up freezing anyway!
Not too long after ranting about how going in the water was insane, you're now just in your bra and underwear, hesitantly moving to the edge of the shore as you let your legs get covered with the cool water. It is cold but refreshing.
“Can I turn around now?” Ellie questions, her voice soft as she breaks through the water's gentle movement. It’s softer than before, almost hesitant. The sound of Ellie's small movements almost sounds as loud as your heartbeat, which is saying a lot.
“Mhm.” You mumble out, body still adjusting to the cool water. It’s up to your chest now, the lake pulling you deeper with each step. Yet it’s not just the water pulling you closer; maybe it’s something else. Like the way Ellie's voice sounds, a little more open, vulnerable, something you again haven't heard in so long before this night. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re both finally here, now in the same space together, the quiet acknowledgment that in this moment, you are both standing on the same ground.
You glance over at her and really see her, in one of her most vulnerable forms, the same way she’s currently seeing you. The moon reflecting on both of your wet skin. You see as Ellie's eyes are fixated on you, the same amount of intensity yours are holding. There are no walls, no playful manner; it’s just really the two of you, laid out on a hypothetical table for each other to see. It makes your breath hitch.
You don’t even realize it immediately, but the initial space the two of you had eventually started to fade. The steady rhythm of your breathing, everything is unspoken yet clear; you both have crossed the line.
And maybe it’s the lack of words that's encouraged Ellie to make her next move; there's a clear absence in her thought process, but can you blame her? The way you were looking at her, eyes locked on each other. It all came together to make her incredibly delirious.
Her body shifts with a small wave of a movement. Her gaze never leaving yours, both of your eyes locked together. It almost seems like she's waiting for something, waiting for you. It’s silent, yet you both know what is playing out, and suddenly kissing a girl doesn’t seem as scary as before.
Ellie doesn’t even wait for permission; she doesn't have to. Her hand reaches out to touch your cheek, the other hand moving to graze your arm. You feel her calloused fingers. Her touch is light but unmistakably deliberate. She doesn’t pull away, and neither do you. It’s a simple connection but electric.
And without thinking too deeply into it, Ellie closes the gap.
A/N -> after MONTHS part 3 is finally out!!!
I am SO sorry for everyone who I kept waiting, i’ve been on the other side of this and I completely understand how annoying it is to wait for someone to continue their series!
I swear life just got insane and I’ve been so so so busy, not the mention the crazy writes block I was going through!
I will make sure the next part doesn’t take as long as this one, yet i’m not sure how quick i’ll be getting it out.
( I have school, work, and sooo much more so I apologize in advance! )
Ily you all soooo much and thank you for understanding!
(likes and reblogs are always appreciated)
taglist: @diddiqueen @bready101 @mcqueeferson (can’t tag some ppl!)
#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie williams x reader#lgbtq#the last of us two#ellie x reader#the last of us#ellie x you#loser!ellie#lesbian#lgbtq community#thelastofus2#thelastofus#ellie#ellie smut#elliewilliams#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams smut#ellie tlou#ellie willams x reader#lesbian fic#lesbian post#series#wlw#wlwpost#wlw fiction#tlou#tlou game#tlou part 2#ellie williams fic
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First post here, been here since fed 2023. I edit the last of us, and the hunger games mainly!!
#the hunger games#the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#video games#my edit#edit#tlouedit#wlw#wlwedit#wlwpost
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I'm in such a needy state rn. I want to be held gently and kissed all over my neck, having my tits licked and caressed and my waist being grabbed greedily. I get all worked up and start breathing heavily as you sink your hands into my thighs grabbing them so eagerly and moving up inside my skirt, softly teasing my desperate little pussy over my panties as i look up at you, blushing, trying not to let out any moans, all embarrassed and flushed cause i know you can feel what a mess i've already made of myself just by imagining pushing down onto your fingers as you slide them deeply into my soft little pussy. whimpering achingly cause i can't hold back how needy i am anymore and how badly i want to be called your pretty little princess and your good girl while you thrust your strap into me and all i can do is hang on to you with my arms around your neck, moaning and whimpering into your ears and trying desperately to form the words "i'm all yours" "please fuck me" and "my pussy belongs to you" 😩🥺 you can fill me up and use all of my body and tease me and make me all dumb and breathless and non verbal until all i can do is crawl into your arms and beg for soft kisses and cuddles
Does anyone want me? i'll be such a good girl 🥺
#wlw #wlwsmut #lesbian #needyfem #femme4all #mommysgirl #goodgirl #wlwpost
#sapphic
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Trying to avoid hissing and growling at the person who tagged my post about transmasc people and how cool our dicks are with #wlwpost and #girlcock like bestie that's problematic to *everyone*
#Creature rambles#i love you lesbians i look at you like this 👁🩷👁 when you interact#BUT PLEASE I AM A MAN I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT#THESE CANNOT BE WLW POSTS BECAUSE I MADE THEM AND I AM NOT A W SO EVEN IF I LW ITS NOT WLW#and also that post straight up does not apply to girlcock like tdick means a specific geographic map of junk im sorry#id make a better more effusive post for girlcock i love girlcock with my whole heart
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guys it is femslash february and I feel like DC fans better be wlwposting is all I’m saying
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