#without wven interviewing me

[candiid-caniine]

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[satans-helper]

Hi... I'm sorry for all the stirring-up I've caused. I don't mean to cause anyone stress, particularly me or you! I guess I was tryong to say that I don't expect anything from them, either, because I don't see that as part of their job. Maybe I have odd ideas about what celebrities do and sont need to do. I don't care about social media, if they did post about issues I wouldn't say I'd discard it but... I'd discard it. Idk what's going on with them, what they're thinking or feeling 1/2

I think they're trying to live their lives how they always did, they may wven be regretting becoming so big who knows! I know I would if this was the whole haze I was surrounded in. Idk, I'm kimda losing my train of thought... basically I'm sorry to bring this up in the fandom I wasn't trying to make it a *thing*, I'm not mad at you or anyone else, and everyone has very valid points, we just interpret what their job is differently I think” 2/2

I’m on desktop right now, sorry.

I’m gonna say right up front that GVF is not that big. Even just as a small reference, they have not even made it to 770K followers on instagram (I wonder why?) and that number hasn’t really moved in a long time. Do I think they’re one of the best bands in the world right now? Yeah. Do all of us in the fandom? Probably. That doesn’t mean they are actually big yet, though, and they won’t be if they do not change their current style.

Bands in the 60s, 70s, 80s did not have social media and they still made it big, yes. How? A lot of that comes down to engaging with people and the public in other ways. Surprise! PR. TV, radio shows, magazines, etc. Each time GVF has been in a magazine I’ve had to hear about it from someone in the fandom, not the band themselves. I don’t understand why management isn’t even letting people know something of that nature. But they don’t let us know about interviews either. The last one with Sam & Danny wasn’t posted about on the band’s page. Their parents are giving more to us than they are. 

Speaking of the band’s page...I really don’t care if the boys as individuals post content. It would be wonderful to see that and I will be forever replaying Danny’s golf swing instagram story in my mind, but my larger concern is the band’s page. There has been nothing. That’s not a good thing. I’ve always appreciated how they aren’t all about social media, actually, but posting literally nothing for months is not a positive thing in this day and age. Sorry y’all, we live in a world run by social media. If the boys want to have a more fulfilling career that involves more outreach, more fans, more music, more money, they are going to have to get with the times a little bit.

I can live without content for my own personal benefit. That’s not my utmost concern at the end of the day. But I want to see GVF thrive and I want to be able to experience them at their brightest for years to come. The way they’re doing things now goes beyond personal feelings--at this point, they are a business, and their business is being run poorly. They have a whole team of people at their disposal to help with social media at the very least. It seems like they either need better people behind them or, as I’ve said, they need to learn to advocate for themselves. 

I am not here to ruffle anyone’s feathers, ever, but I am also never willing to not speak my mind. I love this band so fucking much, it’s actually insane, and I will be devastated if they fail so soon into their career. Also, you know I love you, Lulu, so please never think otherwise! 

[rufusbruts]

Exactly one year ago, this was the day that I decided to drive from Cebu to my mom’s hometown. Then to her hometown, Tuburan.

It was half-foolish knowing my salary is not that high it was such a good risk because I will never be able to drive that far again since I am selling my car.

I was foolish enough to believe in the saying "drive 5 hours to see the person you love for one hour." I was hopeful for a chance.

By the time I arrived at her hometown, I have so much admiration for their beaches. But their municipality lacks progress. Their church is not even painted well.

I am writing this as a form of saying good bye to my love for her.

When I saw her how happy she is woth him, I cried last night. Walked in the rain. Prayed to God.

I got home. Took a bath and still cried and cried until my heart felt numb. I asked God to please kill the hope in my heart - the immortality of this hope that she’s coming back.

Two years ago after mom died. I saw her picture with C. I just nod and nod and not. I told myself, “Prolly the reason why she never liked me because she already has somebody else all along”. And then. The feeling of accpetance came rushing in and I was so thankful because I thoughy I will never move on from her.

Now, when I went to St Jude’s church and prayed for her health and happiness. I looked at their photo together and just felt that bittersweet happiness for them. The same feeling that I felt when I saw her with C.

After I met with Milo, I went to the Mcdonalds where we first met. I ordered chicken sandwich. I remember asking her to meet me there even just for a while because I was having a hard time coping with Ma’s situation. She was there to listen. I recall many of our memories wherein we would meet there for a breakfast after my shift where she would do a great effort just to see me. I remember not having money at that time but it was our monthsary. I bought her a dozen of roses for the price of 50php- without decoarations. I had to improvise somehow. I do not know if she appreciated it because I never saw her smile.

As I slowly ate my burger, I recalled all our memories. How I let her take advantage of me, letting her step on my worth, allowing her to talk down on me because I was nothing. I had no loney anymore. I was dependent and clingy on her.

This was also the time wherein my friends was so mad because I allowed her to take advantage of me. I know I deserved to be treated wrongly by her because I broker so many times suring the first six months of our relationship. We got back together and the situation was reversed. She became the sinister one while I turned out to be meek.

I recalled how many timea I let her lie and believe whatever she says in regard to Y. She cannot accept the fact that Y chose to get back with her ex gf than chose her. She would even scold me why I felt so insecure and why this is such a big issue. For starters, she never spent a cent, not even on gifts for me. Even if I ask her not to buy me anything but it was a test. And she didn’t buy anything for me. Even on our monthsaries or even at my birthday. I never felt special or relevant to her somehow. She said she loves me but she loves only when the doors are closed and no one can see. She cannot wven intrpduced me to her family. Though with her sister but I was kept in the shadows.

I recall the days I am there for her on her bad and critical days. Failed job interviews or arguments with her parents. But she was never there fpr me on my lowest points. She was never even thwre for me when I had dengue. She was never there for me when Mom died.

I think she only felt what she thought was love because it was all out of guilt.

I never realized it until today. And somehow, I felt a regret that is gonna stay for a long time because I gave her my mom’s ring. The first ring was the ruby, it was the first piece of jewelry wherein my mom bought it from her firat salary.

The second was an infinity ring. It was the best lesson I learned from mom that love conquers all.

But it has been done and now, I just wanna move on and be cured from this cancer. I want to live the remaining days of my life fulfilled.

I am just really thankful for this epiphany. God sure is kind and He wants what is best for me and D and now that I felt a sense of forgiveness for me, I am now happy to move on and leave everything behind.

i pray to God that if ever He will let me feel love again for someone, I pray that she will be the right one for me this time. I am Thankful how I was humbled by this excruciating painful experience.

So thank you for the blessing of healing, God. My life is all yours now.

And thank you, Ma. For protecting my heart from her. I am sorry I did not feel it right away. I was blinded by my love. And now my heart and eyes can now feel it clearly.