#without spoilers— i really do love how they executed the movie ! ! but sorta felt some parts was too rushed ehe ;;

[cubtales]

my day finally came to an end ʕ￫ᴥ￩ʔ m' fingers r exhausted !

[shinygoldstar]

Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime - sorta review?

*spoilers below* (I tried to avoid mentioning too many details)

Themes/Topics covered: 15/10

Disney and Ghibli won't touch these topics with a 10ft pole. (Disney* refers to Disney Princess collection since Belle fits in this trope) It's interesting to see this movie trope covering about children abuse / childhood trauma / good and bad sides of internet (it's too exaggerated imo but kudos for the attempt) / 'good' guy being the bad guy (the justice corps trying to gain legitimacy by painting Ryuu as a menace then remove Ryuu so that they become heroes. Bonus for the money supporting their campaign via company sponsors) There's many more themes I haven't mention, these are just main ones (Hosoda really went all out in trying to squeeze as many themes as possible into the movie at the cost of plot quality)

Plot: 6/10

Everything is rushed. Suzu's reason why she can't sing, Bell befriending Ryuu, Suzu's school drama, etc. I know they tried to squeeze everything in within the limited movie time but plot transition is terrible tbf. The light novel version added more details but not much, plot jumps are still vertigo inducing, especially the karaoke scene. The scene jumps made the plot weak, like Ryuu chasing Bell away then returning to rescue her could've an extra shot where he felt bad for scaring someone away for just trying tried to help him and tries to find her. The school love drama scene wasn't necessary I think, just an extra internet theme paste on that is standalone from the rest of the plot. Platonic love is nice though I think a lot of people missed the memo even when it's hinted in the trailer MV (they didn't kiss) that might be too subtle for most people though (but I think I might've seen spoiler about the movie being platonic so I might be over prepared for seeing that too)

I think Hosoda tried to capture the feel of internet culture, he got some right, but execution is exaggerated because he either never engaged in real internet enough to make it feel authentic or it's intentionally exaggerated as a parody. School girl love drama- this is more like shoujo love manga kind of drama unless this is culture in Japan? (I've never been in Japanese schooling system so can't say what culture is like there). Or it could be a mock simulation of how celebrity life drama works (because that's exactly what paparazzi + tabloids would do when they see celebrity holding hands with some ordinary person)

The aunties allowing Suzu to go into a potentially dangerous situation in another prefecture alone????? No sensible mature/responsible adult would do that. (there are some people like that but still.. this turned the movie into adults are useless trope) Also kids watching this movie- don't copy Suzu, pls don't go running into dangerous situations on your own without backup

Peggy Sue's cameo- F. The movie gets a 'you tried' star for efforts to do character development with the least amount of scenes possible.

Music: 15/10

Very good music, not much of a surprise there considering all the artists involved in the movie. The only surprise is probably Suzu/Bell's VA. Hosoda picked a really good singer; I'd never think Kaho Nakamura is capable of singing Disney Princess musical style based on her usual music genre. This movie really brought out her hidden talents.

Average Score: 12/10

Overall it's still a great movie so go watch it!

-

(Scores based on comparing this movie with other popular western/anime movies. Above 10 = exceed average very good movies. Ghibli music/songs are always great but Belle's songs takes movie music to whole different level especially when you experience it for the first time)

[k-l-neidecker]

One Person’s Take on what the Infinity War Pitch Room Conversation was Like — K. L. Neidecker

One Person’s Take on what the Infinity War Pitch Room Conversation was Like

A week or so back, I finally broke down and watched Avengers: Infinity War.

It took me a long time to get around to it. I’m not sure, but I think, perhaps, I’ve seen the requisite number of superhero movies one must watch to be considered a happy and productive human in modern society. Check that box, one piece of being an American consumer fully in place, now on to the next strange trend…

Not that I hate comic book movies. In fact, I enjoy them. Just, hey, a few dozen a year is more than enough, thanks! And let’s not even mention that we are stuck with Marvel movies as DC seems to be having…trouble…making movies that don’t suck since the third movie of the Nolan Batman series.

So, considering the spoilers about Infinity War which assaulted my eyes for months, and the fact I knew what was going to happen…the supposed “big moment”…I simply felt no great rush to see it. Sure, I’d see it sooner or later, but it was way down on the the list of things to do—somewhere below a visit to the proctologist and spraying out the inside of the garbage cans.

But, hey, I figured it would be fine for a movie night.

And from minute one, I knew I made a terrible mistake, one which proves karma is a bitch and in a past life I must have been a terrible person. Maybe Attila the Hun’s third cousin twice removed, Bob the Hunnish.

I’d like to present to you my imaginings if what the pitching and brainstorming room must have been like as they planned Infinity War out.

Neon lights flicker and highlight nicotine stained drop ceiling panels. The energy is high, the air buzzing with electricity, though that could always just be the faulty wiring buried in walls which have been privy to so many great ideas in better days…

“Ok, so me and the boys have been talking,” Jim said, gesturing to a pile of sock puppets discarded in a dingy corner, button-eyes staring blankly into the distance, “and we got some ideas for the next Avengers movie.”

The writer’s room hushed in anticipation. A head writer for Iron Man 2, an artichoke heart pickled in brine, wetly rolled from its perch.

“Ok, so we open with a battle! Action is good, right? People love that stuff.”

A cricket farted in the distance, the mating call falling on dead ears.

“I mean, just some fighting, on a space ship. In space! Bunch of stuff happens. Sure, it will be confusing, and maybe some viewers will wonder, hey, did I miss an entire movie or something, because this scene feels like it’s part of some larger whole…

“And then we kill off some important characters! Yeah, baby, yeah! That will get people invested.”

A murmur of assent rippled through the room, taking the form of various belches and the whisper quiet rustle of a nostril mined for ore by a probing digit.

“Ok, and then the Hulk enters the picture, a being so powerful he’s been sent into space because of how dangerous he is to have around…but Thanos mops the floor with him. And guess what? That’s the last time we see the Hulk for the rest of the movie!” Jim leaned back and placed dirty boots on the table, grinning.

He continued, “So, no Hulk, because hell, who needs him anyway, and it fixes the plot hole where he would simply own Thanos early on, end of movie.

“Then, we add in every Marvel hero we have into the mix. So many, in fact, that they all only get five minute snippets on screen, and we just keep cutting between everyone fast enough to send a third of our viewers into epileptic fits. Thank goodness for CGI because we need a half-thousand sets to marionette these characters over.

“Thor, even though he’s been around multiple earthlings over a bunch of movies, will act dumb as hell and confused about words like ‘moron’”

Moron twitched in his sleep, the sound of his name nearly pulling him out of his comfortable dreamland.

“Also, some of the best characters in our universe, the space cadets from Gargantuans of the Galaxy or whatever it was we made a few years back, will run into Thor at random in the almost infinite reaches of the unfathomable soul sucking emptiness that is the ever expanding universe. Good timing!

“Let’s see…ah, right, Thanos just keeps winning non stop, and our heroes simply throw the same tactics at him over and over to no avail. You know, like punches and missiles and some Kung fu or some shit. Hey, the dude owned Hulk, so why wouldn’t Captain America try punching him in the gob?”

Tim, the newest writer, one not yet broken in by Marvel and not yet fitted out for his Marvel Brand Gimp Suit™, broke his silence when he could take no more. “Hey, uh, this all sounds great and all, but don’t you think—“

“No, I try not to, Tim. Thinking is the direct cause of migraines and bed wetting. Ok, so, we have wizards doing the circle things with their palms, some space folk bopping around almost disconnected from the rest of the story, Avengers not calling other Avengers even though fifty percent of the life of the entire universe hangs in the balance…damn, what else was I going to say,” Jim grasped a bong like an infant would a bottle and ripped on it before smashing it on his own head in victory.

“Right. The love story. Every great tale needs a love story: Romeo and Juliet, Ren and Stimpy, all the greats. So, we have a budding relationship between Vision and whatsherface. Let’s make the viewer care, get them invested.”

Tim nodded, “Right, that’s a solid idea man, sounds—“

Jim cut him off, “Of course, with fifty main characters and a two hour runtime, we won’t actually see any of this love or whatever. We’ll just hint at it a bit, you know. Gotta save screen time for purple ballsack, er, I mean Thanos, to wax laconically about how nice a bro he really is on the inside.”

“Hey, no, I don’t think—“ Tim stuttered.

“Good, my man, good. I think you’ll fit in here with that attitude. So, then let’s kill of all the fun characters. Let’s start with the people of color. First scene to last scene, let’s off some green folk, dissolve some Wakanda heroes, let’s go for broke.

“Again, no Hulk. Just Bruce in a CGI suit, so it’s kinda like the Hulk but suckier. You know, we wouldn’t want that actor to actually be in the movie or anything. Just CGI his ass at all times. Note to self, can we just completely CGI his likeness and not have to have an actor at all?

“Let’s have Dr. Strangelove or whatever his name is willingly hand over the one item his entire order was formed to protect… You know, stay true to the characters.”

The sounds of shattering glass echoed from wall to wall as two writers leapt naked through the windows, fist-bumping one another and shouting, “Brooooooooo!”

“See, Tim,” Jim said, “that’s the kind of energy we need here. Get your shit together. Ok, and lastly, let’s dissolve all the interesting characters we have left. Black Panther for one! Oh, and did I bring up the White Wolf? No? Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have an arc in the movie anyway. Hell, no one needs a character arc here. It’s only half a story, after all, and doesn’t need to stand alone or anything.”

Joseph the Randy Donkey brayed a lonely song at the water cooler before defecating a sad pile on the floor.

“Damn, I love that donkey,” Jim said while cleaning his left ear with his right big toe. “So, you see where I’m going here, right? For year people have complained we are formulaic, but look at us being all badass and breaking the mold! We will take a decade worth of characters and squash them together, making half a movie that means nothing on it’s own, simply designed to set up our next million dollar movie in a year, needlessly kill off dozens of the best characters in a way that means nothing and will be reversed within the first quarter of the next movie, dabble in romance sorta, and wipe out half the life in the universe to save everyone from running out of food and stuff!”

The room erupted in cheers and whoops. Three men dueled to the death in celebration, Moron awoke from his long slumber in time to vote in the midterms and drive without using his blinkers, seven Hollywood executives took time away from sexually harassing the donkey the stamp and squeal in delight, a motley mob of slatterns boxed with a dusty group of heroin addicts in a mock Walmart, and the seventh seal was opened in the distance.

But a hush fell on the room like a smothering pillow as Tim cleared his throat.

“Hey, um, if Thanos can control time and matter with a mere thought, wielding enough power to kill fifty percent of all living things at the blink of an eye…why doesn’t he simply will infinite resources into being instead of killing untold trillions due to limited resources?”

The silence in the room laid so thick in the air that a large housefly, fat and well fed on over-ripe Hollywood movie drech, collapsed like a crumpled piece of tinfoil from the mere pressure in the room.

Lucky for the brave writers of Infinity War, there was a handy and already broken window to defenestrate Tim from before calling the seventy-five actors and warming up the computers for modern CGI magic.

https://klneidecker.com/2018/10/22/one-persons-take-on-what-the-infinity-war-pitch-room-conversation-was-like/

[cinco-cabezas]

so i watched Last Jedi on thursday...

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS FOR THE LAST JEDI UNER THE CUT

overall thoughts is that i liked it a lot! i liked it more than tfa, and i liked tfa just fine.

stuff i liked: - i liked luke. just in general, he was very good. and vey good job, mark hamil.

- that lady admiral was great. i love her, she's awesome. i suck for forgetting her name.

- i like leia, she was good. though i spent the entire movie waiting for her death and the inevitable waterworks that would ensue, but alas, she didn’t die! well played, i guess? can’t stop thinking they shot themselves in the foot with that one, really. is episode nine going to open with someone saying “oh, yeah, it was super sad when leia died offscreen two weeks ago right guys?”

- yoda was good too. i liked that they made him a muppet again. good movie for old people this was.

- i liked that poe learned his lesson. i also liked what the lesson was, very good. thinking back on it his stuff felt very passing the torch (re leading the rebellion)? i’m okay with that

- i liked the salt planet, it looked cool.

- i liked admiral holdo's (there's the name!) suicide jump to destgroy snoke's ship, best shot of the movie hands down, got a big cheer from the audience.

- liked the stuff with rey and kylo a lot actually, and i say this as someone that does not care for the ship, i really hope they don't make it romantic, but damn, their stuff was so good i have hope in the writing.

- i liked the backstory about luke and kylo too! good stuff.

- i enjoyed beloved supreme leader kylo more than i thought i would. it was very good how impatient and unbalanced he was by the end and how he kept making very stupid choices.

- it was funny how luke did the final battle via skype. i actually liked this a lot, love me some jedi masters doing impressive stuff with the force that's more creative than shove or slam. the only sorta gripe i have with this is the bait and switch they did with luke's death took me out of the moment, i was so ready for the ben kenobi parallel when luke turned the lightsaber off and made the wise master accepting death pose that it was genuenly shocking when it didn't happen, only for luke to die anyway a few minutes later. and don't get me wrong here, i think luke's last moments were done really really well, i just didn’t feel i was as into it as i could have been. i don't know how they could go about fixing this, or even if anybody else got this problem. oh well, much like scenes with leia, i think i will enjoy this better on a rewatch.

things i didn't like so much:

-i think some of the stuff at the end could have used a bit more subltely. like the sad little slave orphans, that was too much, and for the last shot of the movie, too. yes, i get it, the point is that there is people in the galaxy that still need and will fight for the rebellion but! the sad orphans were a bit much!

ditto for rey and leia talking about luke dying. i think in this instance more is less, the look they exchanged was enough, it got everything it needed to get across. yes, rey, we just saw luke vanish in front of a beautifull sunset, we know he died in peace, you don’t need to make a speech about it. even if you absolutely need them to spell it out, i think minimal dialogue would have been better. rey: “luke is dead.” leia: “i know.” here is were you want to get the point across through acting rather than dialogue! and this two actors in particular have the emotional chops to spare to convey “i force-felt luke dying in peace” without having to speak a word, see: the look they exchanged five seconds prior.

- i really don't like what they did with finn. basically relegated to comic relief and inconsecuential to the narrative. seriously, the only thing that impacted the plot that resulted from his actions was that benicio del toro got captured by the first order and sold them the rebel transports. good job hero indeed. and what even was his character arc?? he starts selfish and ends self-sacrifincing? he ended tfa facing kylo ren alone to protect a friend, that’s not selfish by any measure. i guess it would be more accurate to say he begins interested only in himself and rey (”i’m not a hero”, tries to sneak out with the thingy that will call rey back) and ends loyal to the rebellion (listens to rose’s story, asserts his rebel-nes to phasma, attempts suicide run on the cannon) thats... i guess that’s a little bit better, though i’m not trilled about it either. the writers room needed to stack up on coffee and put a lot more hours on finn’s subplot (and tying that to the plot-plot) because that was not good enough! he's supposed to be one of the main characters of the trilogy, he deserves better!

i did like his showdown with phasma (finally getting some good use of that gwendoline christine! not an ounce of sarcasm here, phasma had little time on screen but they made fantastic use of every minute, she came off as just the right measure of threatening and imposing, esp from finn and rose’s perspective), in isolation, it was a great moment. but it really needed to come after a movie where finn got to tell his sad backstory, and face his demons, like rey got to do.

writing this actually made me realize what the writer’s intentions for finn were in this movie, and it’s not as bad as i previously thoguht, but the execution of this subplot was substandard. it is not baseless to have finn not be completely on board with the rebellion at the begining, he did have some moments of protest in tfa about getting dragged into rebel’s affairs, he was finn the stormtrooper deserter, who wanted to stay with ray and be left alone, and you know what, fair enoguh, he was abducted and trained as a child soldier! his only ties to the rebellion is his relationship with rey and poe, and actually, having a movie dedicated to his journey from that to rebel scum/hero of the rebellion is actually a good direction for his character, but, seriosly, all this is begging for far better writing.

- while i think in concept the character of rose is fine, and maybe a good contrast for finn, if all i just wrote is true and not just the first draft of a very bitter fanfiction, i feel like the inclusion of her character came at the expanse of finn. like her jaded and cynical survivor to finn’s... childlike wonder at shiny stuff? that made finn look spoiled and sheltered. he wasn’t. he was a child soldier. this is what i meant when i said the writing wasn’t very good. little things like this, they add up. like rose telling her sad backstory and finn just staying quiet. you know he has one of those too, right? the whole child soldier thing? that was a good moment to share, tell us how he feels about it, about the first order, about animal cruelty? something!

yeah, finn’s treatment is my only real problem with this movie.

oh wait. that kiss sure as fuck came out of nowhere. i don’t buy that rose fell in love with finn. finn’s reaction was bewilderment and nothing else. i do believe they developed a strong friendship over the course of the movie, but love? footage not found. also, hilariously, we do have an actual timer on how long it’s been since they met, it’s hours. disney, ammirite?

that’s mostly nitpicking about the kiss, but boy oh boy if it didn’t leave the nastiest impression that it was shoehorned in to remove finn as a possible love interest for rey. I WONDER WHY GEE! I WONDER IF THE REASON COULD BE A WORD THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER R

also if it was made so to make room for reylo i am going to throw the shittiest of fits, you just whatch me.

[chrismaverickdotcom]

Death by Franchise (a Blade Runner 2049 review -- No spoilers)

As I said in my review of The Mountain Between Us, which I knew no-one was really going to care about except for me, I saw the big movie everyone cared about yesterday too and of course I’m going to review it as well. So lets talk about My Little Pony.

Oh, that’s not the movie that everyone is curious about? It’s Blade Runner 2049? FINE! Be that way. (I promise, no spoilers here)

Ok, actually I didn’t see My Little Pony this weekend. I did in fact go to Blade Runner 2049. I was too tired to write up the review last night and figured I’d wait til the morning. I’m actually pretty glad I did. Because that allows me to address something that sort of surprised me, but probably shouldn’t have. Namely, that no one went to go see it.

Ok, not no one. It is going to be the highest grossing movie the box office this week, but it’s going to miss its mark by a lot. It was looking to clear about $50million. It looks like it might come in under $30M. Steph and I went to see it last night and there were a lot of empty seats for a Friday night. A whole lot of empty seats really. Way more than I was expecting.

And I’m pretty sure it was way more than Hollywood was expecting too. Because I think the problem is that in 2017, Hollywood is so addicted to the idea of extending existing IP into marketable franchises, that they forgot one very important detail. NO ONE FUCKING LIKED THE ORIGINAL BLADE RUNNER WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT. Seriously! The original Blade Runner was produced on a $28M budget. And it managed to gross … drumroll please… $27M domestically. And an additional $6million overseas. That’s it. Yes, it was 35 years ago and that’s more money than it sounds like now, but it’s still a box office failure. Blade Runner LOST money!

So clearly the right thing to do is wait 35 years and bump the budget up an extra $150M and see what happens?

What? That’s crazy, you say? Why would anyone give an extra $150M to a movie that no one really cared about in the 1980s and wait 35 years to make it? Well, if you had that thought, maybe you should be working as a Hollywood producer in charge of green lighting pictures. Because, apparently no one there did.

It probably seems like I don’t like Blade Runner. That’s wrong. I fucking love it. I love it so much that I have the BluRay boxed set which has like five different versions of the movie, and comes with a collectible scale model of Deckard’s car (which my wife doesn’t understand why I keep sealed in the box rather than taking it out to play with or put on a shelf because she’s some kind of savage). I loved the original movie. And I liked this one a lot (may need to see it again to see if grows on me even more). So what went wrong?

Well, I’m not the viewing public. And neither are the rest of the critics on the Internet.

The original Blade Runner is a hard movie to watch. It really is. It’s slow and complex and convoluted and really doesn’t make a fuck ton of sense. It’s also amazing and innovative. It is visually gorgeous. It’s a film that changed the sci-fi industry. It changed the film industry. It changed cinematography and special effects. It’s a film that I have studied in film classes, screen writing classes, literature classes and cultural studies classes. In many ways it’s a masterpiece. And in many ways, that basically makes it school work.

People don’t like schoolwork.

Except, sometimes, when something becomes important enough it gets lucky… and over 35 years it develops enough prestige that it gets a cult following, and then people do like it. That’s Blade Runnner. The first one. And maybe, in 2052, that will be this one too. Maybe. It’s not there yet.

And that’s the thing. People weren’t really clamoring for a sequel to Blade Runner. At least not a lot of people. There were some loud people. But those are the hardcore sci-fi fans. These are the people who are going to see any sci-fi film anyway. What you need, if you want to justify a $185million budget, is to get in regular people. People who just want to enjoy an evening at the movies and not work so hard. Yes, the first film is a science fiction film and maybe that makes it feel like a Hollywood blockbuster. But it isn’t. It’s an artistic thought piece and exercise in intellectual film making. And it’s one that doesn’t actually have a built-in audience of nostalgia fans the way the Star Wars or Star Trek franchises do. Turning Blade Runner into a franchise and expecting it to be successful at the level that justifies that budget makes as much sense as throwing $185M at Roshomon or Battleship Potemkin. And if you’re asking yourself “what the fuck are those?!?!” then I have two answers for you: “they’re brilliant” and “exactly!”

As for the movie itself? Well, like the original film, it tries to do a lot. And in fact it succeeds and doing a lot. But in trying to live up to it’s own legend, it maybe tried to do too much for the forum that it had to exist in.

Goal #1: It had to be part of the franchise and capitalize on the nostalgia of the first film, because it’s 2017 and apparently that’s what we fucking do now. This is the place where it probably failed the hardest. Mostly because, as I pointed out, there really ISN’T any franchise nostalgia for Blade Runner. The people who are the biggest fans of it are actually film and hard sci-fi fans who don’t care about that. So the film tries to manufacture it by Rogue Oneing it. In particular there are two cameos in this film that just don’t belong there. One at least sorta kinda makes plot sense. The other, which seems like it’s there just to make ME specifically excited… just doesn’t work at all. It is totally inconsequential, other than to say “hey, remember this… from the Blade Runner? Have some more Blade Runner in your Blade Runner. We’re Blade Runnering this shit up, yo!” This is not that kind of movie. It didn’t need it. Both could have just been removed.

Goal #2: Be an interesting thought piece that uses hard science fiction to comment on the world around us. This worked a lot better. In fact, I was really engaged in the storyline. One of the things this does really well is extend the themes of the first movie (consumerism, fear of technology, the nature of humanity, capitalism and government run amuck) by exploring it with NEW plot lines instead of just rehashing the old ones. In particular the main plot line, while related to the first film, is really its own thing that kind of boldy goes in its own direction and really draws me in. I cared about it. I cared about how the character would proceed through it. I could see that it was designed to dovetail into the B plot line (which was far more related to the first film) from the very beginning, but I wanted to see the execution and see how these two ideas intersected. If I had a problem with it, it is that once the B plot really gets rolling in the third act, it sort of overtakes the A plot. And I was far more interested in the A plot. I felt a little cheated because I was more invested in the new characters and their story. That said, I was still on board.

Goal #3: Expand the world. Here is where I was most impressed ands consequently, maybe the most let down. One of the great things about the world of Blade Runner is that it is clearly set up to be lived in. While the first film focuses on Deckerd, there are clearly interesting and engaging storylines set up for Rachel, Roy, Priss, Gaff and Tyrell. This does much the same thing, but maybe too well. While the first film leaves me with questions that I feel comfortable with pondering for the rest of my life, this one left me with questions that I just wanted more answers to. There are C, D and E plot lines that are very interesting and have little if nothing to do with the concepts from the additional film. And yet, because the world is built so well and is so expansive, they work in seamlessly. And they are interesting. My favorite character in the film by far is Joi (played by Ana de Armas). I won’t say why, because of spoilers, but she was great. She was interesting and I saw that they were doing something very original with her. I was all-in every time she was on screen and missed her when she wasn’t. I wanted to know more about her story and her motivations. She could have been the whole movie on her own. But since she doesn’t have her own movie she serves as the C plot for this one. And she is so unimportant to the A plot and the B plot that she could be removed from the film entirely without affecting the narrative. In fact, the Wikipedia entry for the movie has a very thorough recap of the plot (which you shouldn’t read, because again spoilers) and yet, it doesn’t mention her AT ALL in the entry, other than the cast list at the time I am writing this. And that leaves it somewhat unbalanced. One of the most interesting things from the entire film for me regards Joi’s relationship with Mariette (played by Mackenzie Davis). I was fascinated by the story that is hinted at by the film, but Mariette is the F or G plot line at best, and not only is she not mentioned on the Wikipedia page, I’m betting most people who have seen the film and are reading this are saying “who the fuck is Mariette? What is he talking about? I better google it… Ohhhhhh….”

And that’s sort of the problem with the movie. Like the first film, there’s just a lot going on. However, the first film didn’t even try to be a movie for the masses. This wants to be. And the masses are just not going to get it. The first film was sort of a miracle of working within budget constraints. It was expensive for the day, but does a lot of film innovation to make it look even bigger. This film didn’t have that. It just burned money on special effects. It also threw a lot of money at getting a good cast. Obviously they wanted Harrison Ford back, and they cast Ryan Gosling as the new lead. But they didn’t particularly need Robin Wright (although she’s really good because she’s a phenomenal actress). And Jared Leto is…. there. Basically he Jared Leto’s about, and… well… probably isn’t worth it. He brings his name to the film and not much else. He’s clearly trying to do his best impression of Joe Turkel as Eldon Tyrell, but it doesn’t really work. His character, Niander Wallace, is just different and every time he was onscreen I just saw Jared Leto doing his schtick. Everyone else was great, particularly Armas, as I said before, but also Sylvia Hoeks.

But with that much going on, the film needed to make some choices. It is more than 45 minutes longer than the original, a film that already seemed slowly pace. As I said, my favorite part of it, the Joi plot line, could have been removed entirely with no incident. But there was another way to go. It probably shouldn’t have been a movie at all. At two hours and forty-four minutes, it should have either been cut to two hours or expanded to eight. Much like Westworld, a film from 1976 that no one was really begging for a sequel to, and yet became a very successful HBO series last year, this would have thrived if it was set to a slow enough pace that it could have been explored in depth on television. My problems with Joi and Mariette could have been solved easily if they were given more time to breathe. The Westworld tv show had a $100 million budget and the extra time really enhances the story. We have reached a point where television is prestigious enough to allow this to happen. It feels like Blade Runner 2049 may only be a theatrical because it’s “supposed to be” and it could perhaps better be served another way.

So, my recommendation for this one is hard. I enjoyed it. I think it’s a great film. But I can’t really recommend going to see it for everyone. You have to ask yourself, would you really really really have paid to see the original Blade Runner in the theater if it were released in 2017 without the legend of what it has become behind it? Would you have enjoyed it? How about if it was 45 minutes longer. Can you watch nearly 3 hours of Blade Runner without a bathroom break? Did you enjoy Cloud Atlas? Because I did. I fucking loved Cloud Atlas. But if that’s if you didn’t… well, you might want to wait til you can watch this at home with a pause button and four different directors cut versions.

★★★⅓☆ (3.33 out of 5 stars) for regular people 🍪🍪🍪🍪🥕 (4 fucking cookies and a carrot because apparently the broccoli emoji isn’t standardized yet) for film or sci-fi geeks.

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Death by Franchise (a Blade Runner 2049 review — No spoilers) was originally published on ChrisMaverick dotcom