#without needing to make a list kf reasons or hide it behind “iys for This cause. Its because im doing it for This”
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I am a simple man. I think too hard about a guest for Mr Spider and I start crying
#HE WAS A KID! HE WAS A KID!!!#THE FACT HIS PARENTS WERE DEAD WAS A FOOTNOTE. BECAUSE THEY WERE THERE FOR SO LITTLE. THAT HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THEM.#HE IS PRACTICALLY BEGGING THE NON EXISTANT LISTENER NOT TO JUDGE HIS GRANDMOTHER#FEELING GUILTY FOR DESCRIBING HIS FEELINGS ABOUT HER TO *NO ONE.*#WHEN HE WASNT EVEN SAYING ANYTHING SHE DID AT FIRST#HE BARELY EVEN GOT INTO WHAT SHE ACTUALLY DID BEFORE SAYING SHE DID HER BEST#he cant even let himself have his feelings in the privacy of his own skull.#he always needs to justify or apologize or make some excuse. he cant even let himself feel#has he ever let himself be truly angry at his grandmother? at his bully? at any of the people who hurt him. without needing to justify it#without needing to make a list kf reasons or hide it behind “iys for This cause. Its because im doing it for This”#has he ever let himself just be angry. without feeling horrible about it
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