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blazehedgehog · 1 year ago

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ICYMI: My Sonic Frontiers Criticism/Essay Is Out Now

youtube

So here's the last four months of my life come to fruition: the longest piece of edited criticism I've ever put on my Youtube channel, clocking in at just over an hour. For those of you that may be new around here, I am pretty against making long videos. I don't know if I overthink things too much or what, but it's rare for me to have much tolerance for feature-length reviews of things. They can wear me out just watching them, and it definitely wears me out to make them.

But sometimes you just have a lot to say. And I didn't even necessarily say everything I could have said here; there were things I would have added if not for the looming deadline proposed by the video sponsor. That's not a complaint -- sometimes you need someone else to tell you "be done by this date or else." Limitations foster creativity and toiling away at perfection can sometimes be just as toxic as crunch.

What I was trying to say is it's a big video, and it was hard keeping everything straight in my head because there was so much. One of those times where I was glad how I planned things out in advance, because sometimes the thoughts you had four months ago are not the same thoughts you have today, and the thoughts from four months ago were better.

It's already proving to be a bit of a divisive video, given I am going against the grain here. But I'm a big boy. I've spent time on the front lines of these sorts of things before. I know how to handle myself. I mean, half the reason I started my tumblr back in the day was pointing out some of the truly deranged takes I'd get in the replies to my Sonic 06 video.

Though I do worry. I'm getting a lot of people who are... politely declining to tell me what they think. More than a few "I don't agree with you, but I'm glad you released this video" that then never elaborate further. And that makes me feel bad? But why? Do I want to argue with my friends? Not particularly.

But more to the point, are people afraid to argue with me? Do I get too aggressive? I've picked up on a vibe, not just from friends, where people seem to go out of their way to avoid arguments with and/or around me. I mean I literally just said I started my Tumblr blog as a "get a load of this guy in my comments" spotlight (which, for the record, I don't do anymore). I don't want to be scary. But is it scary, or is it a strength? Or am I just imagining the whole thing? History says it's probably that last one, but it doesn't stop me from wondering. It's a lot to chew on.

At the end of the day, I do think parts of this script could have been better. I do kind of get a little mean at a couple points in ways I could have written around. A lot of people are bristling at the opening spiel, where I get more than a little "you people" about the Game Awards voting situation. There's another part later in the video where I also feature actual comments from a previous video and as I was editing it together I thought, "this sounds mean." But given I was less than 24 hours away from that deadline, I just had to roll with it (so I at least blurred the names and cropped the avatars out).

I'll end this post by quoting what I wrote on Patreon day before yesterday for the early access version of this video:

What a march this has been. I've worked on some videos that felt like they took forever, but nothing like this. This felt like the project that would never end. Some of that's because, after pushing myself so hard on the Sonic Adventure 2 video, I tried to be a little more casual with this one. I think I started the script around the end of April, a couple weeks after finishing the game on-stream. The idea was to avoid burnout. And then the script grew, and grew, and grew, to be the longest script I've ever written. After doing voice over, I had three hours of material I had to cut down. I captured more than 60 hours of gameplay from more than 50 games. Thank goodness I took the time to stop and "storyboard" out this review like I did with the SA2 video. It actually proved to be extremely valuable here -- with a video this long, that takes so long to put together, it's hard to keep all of your ideas hot and ready in your head. Often I'd fall back to the storyboard and realize I planned something months ago that was way better than what I was doing in the moment. And then in July, a sponsor came calling again. Suddenly I had a real deadline. The last four weeks have been a race to move this mountain of material into something resembling the shape of a video. The last couple days in particular have felt something like a miracle. A work ethic I hadn't tapped into in years suddenly roared to life as I locked down 20+ minutes of video in a matter of hours. It may have involved several actual panic attacks and me running on about four hours of sleep, but here we are. I was revising the script all the way up until a week ago. In retrospect, the sponsor segment probably leans a little too much on SAGE content, but by the time I realized that the train was barreling down the tracks too fast to stop. Thoughts for next time, I guess.

Patrons get a PDF of the script I used, including an unfinished earlier draft I abandoned where I think I was actually even meaner about it, if you can believe it. They also get a PDF of what my "storyboarding" process looks like (which is all just text).

I'll probably toss up a post for all the art I made for this video, too.

#sonic the hedgehog #sega #sonic team #sonic frontiers #youtube #video #long #behind the scenes #Youtube

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manonamora-if · 2 years ago

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The Roads I Maybe Should Have Taken

The TRNT Post Mortem

Oye oye! As was promised, so it is! The Post Mortem for The Roads Not Taken (which hopefully won't be as long as the actual game...)

Follow me into my journey of once again speed-running my way through a competition, and coming out scratched and bruised and still not learning my lessons!

First, some links:

if you haven't played the game yet, I recommend you do before reading this!

you can find its IFDB page here (if you want to leave a review?)

and the STF version source code here for the code curious!

shortened version of the PostMortem on IntFic

Then, a little Table of Content:

The Idea

The Story

The Implementation

The Reception

The Do-Over?

And finally, we start! (under the break because it will be long - LoL at me writing 1/5th of TRNT as a Post Mortem)

I should preface this Post Mortem with I entered the SpringThing on a whim. I had just come out of a conga line of competitions and game jams since last Summer (log of release/update), and had plans on finishing working on other projects instead of this one (which I probably should have... sorry The Rye in the Dark City for abandoning you...). But I obviously didn't do that because here was another new fresh game! And then another two of those just after... whooops...

The idea for TRNT just popped into my brain one day and would not leave me until I implemented it, no matter what (yes, I am still weak willed, I have not learned my lesson from The Thick Table Tavern, the one about not rushing a project and publishing it at a later date when it is truly ready). I did have that thought in the back of my mind that if I do do this, it would be very likely I would end up with a repeat of TTTT, as in: half-full drink with too much ice, and expired garnish falling from the very pretty fancy glass.

Also I did not start working on the entry until the SeedComp was in its voting round (so around the 4-5th of March?). I really wasn't kidding about the speed-running thing....

Another thing: I had never created a parser game before this point AND suck real time at playing them! This was also indicated in my Author's comment.

Nothing obviously stopped me anyway, because here we are...

1- The Idea

A few weeks before the opening of the SpringThing intent, the French IF community was streaming some older parser entries, including Aisle* and Pick-Up the Phone Booth and Die, two games where the player can only do one action before the game ends. I'd never really experienced this kind of game before (the closest being having a sudden death/continue the story choice). It packed a punch, it was funny, and also so very weird. It left me dissatisfied and super intrigued. I wanted to try and do that too someday. *Funnily, someone on the French IF discord thought DOL-OS had been inspired by Sam Barlow's work (it wasn't, but TRNT def was).

Not, I am not going to be hella pretentious and full of myself by putting TRNT on the same level as those games (because I don't think I did a good enough job to merit a comparison), but the one-action-only gameplay and multiple endings drew me in (I love abrupt endings, cf P-Rix). I've mainly written longer form of IF rather than short bites, and I thought it would be fun to try to constrict myself as much as possible, by having just one thing, one action, one outcome.

And also: parsers. I had only dabbled with the Choice-Based/Hyperlink format, so I thought it was time to try the last unexplored part of my IF journey: parsers. Since the SpringThing Festival is a nice place to experiment, I thought why not try to make one then! I could not have survived the anxiety of the IFComp reviews for that one...

Still, it was not going to be without a challenge. I had very little experience with parsers, and I honestly didn't think I could learn how to use a parser program in such short amount of time*, when I had a lot of other stuff at the same time. So I thought, why not make it in Twine**, at least I know this program inside-and-out(almost). There would not be a steep learning curve there... What could go wrong? *lol at me, having made an Adventuron game in a non supported language in about 2 weeks after that, without ever having tried the program beforehand. I could totes have managed!! **Also, when I got set with Twine, I realised how fun it would be to maybe put people's expectations upside down by doing something you're not supposed to with Twine... or parsers!

Well, it was going right at first...

2- The Story

I really wanted to recreate the same gameplay of Aisle with its only-one-action-and-it's-over, so I started listing possible actions and put them into a context where this choice of action would mean everything for the PC - because it is the only action you have. Which might not have been a good take? Aisle works because the setting is incredible mundane, and there are no stakes.

The context pretty quickly drew itself as the player will chose a profession/career path, and if they do/choose something wrong, then...😬too bad for them, they made their choice, deal with the consequences. While, in reality, we are not stuck in a life because of one choice, but with a myriad of them (and still we can change this trajectory), it's still a big pressure you get as a youth, having to choose where to go and what to do when you are done with highschool, and what path to take. It's a lot of responsibility that sometimes feels like it will affect/haunt the rest of your life. Do I still have some of that school/parental pressure from when I had to make that choice ingrained somewhere inside? probably...

But the more foolish idea was to let my brain continue to think more about that context and create a world and story further than the choice. Instead of going forward with the consequences and the hints of what could have happened or just let the choice being the centre piece, the brain just went backwards and created a society (some sort of futuristic one) and vaguely described beings (that are not humans), and the ritualistic culture of this society, etc... While it was fun to think about all of those, and maybe provided a fun setting and enticing story for the player to go through the game, there might have been a bit too much of it. I think, in hindsight, this may have devalued the choice itself (which became even more watered down when I continued on writing the first screens).

And so, the job choice soon became the player is going through some sort of ritual (v trope-y) to determine their place in society. If it has a vibe of The Giver, it shouldn't be too surprising, the book is on my shelf.

So we still have the one-choice-to-rule-them-all, but now there is a also backstory and setting... and I have to include it somewhoeeven if it means cramming it somewhere, anywhere.

Oh wait, I thought, I'll just make it like a prologue to build anticipation for the choice!

And so the brain went on zooming again to create the waiting room, and the agonising walk in the corridor, and the finding your way to the altar, before you cant finally make your choice..... only to end up with two(-ish) paragraphs for each endings. wow - what a good balanced game this is becoming...

Speaking of endings, I had originally listed over 50 actions, each planned to have a different ending.... only to end up with about 11, 7 of those were actually related to the final countdown choice. It made me sadder than when I cut onions :(

It wasn't just the player that needed to make...

At this point, we were two weeks away from the deadline. I had the backbone of the code (-ish), a good third of the writing wasn't complete (and this was mainly those 11 endings), and no one had tested the game yet. There was no way I could have included all 50 original options if I wanted to make the deadline. might have been good in hindsight to remove those choices, especially with the current command system.

So choices had to be made and a buttload of planned things had to be cut. I narrowly managed to finish the needed endings in time (which required re-writing some of those into a fake choice), at least.

At the end, I strayed quite a bit from the Aisle concept of a mini intro - one action - an ending puzzle-y feel (and making the player piece the story together from the endings), to arrive at... well... this anxiously geolian walk to one's doom (or dream). Making the story quite... well... linear.

And from going somewhat wrong, it went a little wrong-er...

3- The Implementation

Wanting to avoid the headache of learning a new program, I had settled on Twine pretty much from the start (SugarCube, because that's how I've been rolling for the past almost 2 years!).

The big problématiques of this project were:

Twine is not a parser program (duh)

SugarCube has its limitations still (and macros that don't always work the way you want to)

I had never written a parser game before and suck at playing them (thank you, French IF streams that helps me enjoy them without experiencing the frustration of not finding the right combo!)

I still suck at JavaScript/jQuery to do weird things with the page (and probably fix all those issues)

and well did I already say Twine is not a parser program?

So I tried to get to the basic of parsers (an input box and text revealing itself onto the page when a command is entered) and prayed for the best. Easy, right?

WRONG!

SugarCube has an input box, but can only autofocus* inside one specific place (so you can't lock it somewhere else but the passage itself, which means you need to add it to every screen...) and when the passage is first loaded (doesn't work if the input box is added later on). *I have also hurt some kitten by overusing autofocus, which was only compensated by offering the the SugarCube God some bug reports about it so those issues could be fixed for the next update (TBA). But you really are not supposed to use autofocus as much as I did... 😬

SugarCube has an input box, but you can only move to another passage after you press Enter. So you can't have some fancy input checks, and you stay on the same page... without some custom listener macro* that is (Bless you Maliface and your Listen Macro) - or I guess some JavaScript code, but who has time for that... I had included a button as an alternative to confirm the commands (which was how I had coded it for DOL-OS), but it would have made the parser experience much worse if using Enter would not have loaded a response (this was a criticism from DOL-OS, which now that I know how to fix, I really should do so...). *at least until the next Sugarcube update which will include a listener.

SugarCube has an input box, but doesn't have a bank of commands, or set object indicator (like with the parsers). While you can technically separate the inputed words with some JavaScript**, whether you do so or not will end with the same amount of spaghetti code at the end, with the different conditional statements for each actions on each screen to show the correct text bits (mine amounted to almost 600 lines of code for 7 screens... without included the printed text! -> see the source code). Now that I've messed around with Adventuron, I can see how easy it is to make a parser game (set up commands and rooms and interactive object), when you have a bank of built-in commands and not have to worry about how to add the new text on the screen. Twine really added a new layer of complexity to this.... Was there a better way of doing this? probably, but don't look at me to find it. *this was how the name chosenname command came to be, and how it only printed the chosen name on the following screens. That and the autofocus being messy...

SugarCube can add text bits to a page, but unlike parser programs, it won't automatically scroll down to the bottom of the page, or at least to the added element. Adding a scroll down to the bottom or scroll up to the page was not too hard (I had some leftover js code), but it was not the solution: the UI is mobile/tablet accessible (smaller screens), which means scrolling to the bottom would make those players having to manually scroll back up (and I am usually quite verbose in my writing). So very much EH.... NOT GREAT! After quite a lot of testing, broken pieces of code, way too much swearing, and re-doing the base of the UI, I did manage to find a solution.... a month into the review/voting period.

But even with those limitations, I pushed through. I knew it was possible to make it work, so I either tried to find work arounds (and gave up the scrolling, at least until the deadline), and pushed through, banging my head against my desk because of what was achievable...

LIKE BUILDING A WHOLE COMMANDS SYSTEM...

Wanting to make things easy for myself (and the players), I thought maybe removing all verbs would make it easier to go through the game, even when having to interact with objects or people around. Enter the bolded word* from the text as the input, press enter, and read the new text! *It was important for me to have some sort of "easy" mode where the interactive things were obvious to the player, coming from a scene where parsers are not the norm/favoured.

Simple right?

This idea... stopped working as soon as I introduced physical actions (sit, stand, jump, etc...), directional actions (the story might be linear but it still has multiple rooms), but most importantly as soon as I wrote flavour texts for one same object. Even if I could get away with removing X/LOOK/EXAMINE*, adding verbs at the end was a necessity (I didn't want to see all the already written variation go to waste...). *I did include look in the code, but mistakenly didn't think about its synonym <- shows the no-knowledge of parser, and not having a bank of commands built-in.

So verbs were added, and then some of its synonyms (but evidently not the most important ones 😬), and then some prepositions just in case, and noun synonyms with adjectives because of how it is described in the text, and then.... so on and so forth. And because of how SugarCube is set, I ended up with lines like this at the end:

<<if ["initiate", "look initiate", "look at initiate", "remember initiate", "initiates", "look initiates", "look at initiates", "remember initiates", "recall initiate", "recall initiates"].contains(_cmd)>>

(and this is not even a correct or complete command list, since it is missing EXAMINE and X)

Et rebelotte for all the interactive words on the page, as well as the added variations requiring another set other verbs. There's not really a verb/noun aliases list to help...

BUT WAIT

Because I always like to make it difficult for myself and not think of the amount of work my ideas/plan will require, I had to make some bits of text appear only once (even if some commands could be used more than once on that page) OR removing the player's ability to make a different action when they do a specific one AND have some bits of text only appear after a command has been used on that page. Pushing the player through extra invisible gates on top of the different rooms. I could have made it easier on myself to break scenes further than I had already done, but nooooooo

And I did this not just once. BUT THREE TIME! When the player is called to get in line, in the corridor, and just before the big doors.

I could have fed myself for a whole week with the spaghetti that came out of my code.

But Manon, I can hear the little devil on my shoulder say, Why all the whining and excuses? You could have stopped if it turned out to be a bad idea, especially if you couldn't implement it properly. Why not have made the story in something else than a parser?

Well...

because Time (wa)s running out and I wasn't going to let all this hard work go to waste by changing everything up at the last minute (it could have worked/been easier, that's true)

because it was still a fun puzzle to solve, even if frustrating most of the time,

because you learn more when you fail than when you win

I'm not a quitter :P (hiding my too many WIPs waiting for me....)

Even if I doubted myself with finishing the game on time, I still pushed myself to cross the finish line, since I knew I would not have finished the project otherwise. Thought it could have been fun to get the 12 angry men passing judgement on my Twine monstrosity making a mockery of parsers had I submitted it to the very serious ParserComp instead. /jk lovingly

So after some "extensive" testing (rushed in the last week, because I am a nightmare to people, sorry @groggydog and @lapinlunairegames for making you go through this, but also thank you for your help!!), I made it to the end!

Well... barely. Ended up with a few bug fixes update along the way.

4- The Reception

(it was like that in my heart)

Like TTTT, this was not explosion of praise and accolades. And I fully expected it. You can't make experiments omelettes without cracking a few programs/rules eggs. At least my omelette didn't have too many eggshells :P

Looking at the numbers, at the time of writing this posts, TRNT is currently sitting at 5 stars (4 ratings) on itch, and 3-1/2 stars on IFDB (2 ratings)*, with 4 reviews on the Forum (bellow the median/average this festival). None of the ratings game with reviews/comments. *When some of the reviews will be moved to the IFDB, I do expect this average to get lower. The itch one is nice (really happy 4 peeps loved it!), but most people only rate when they didn't like it or when they loved it.

As for the feedbacks gotten, they came from a few sources: the people who playtested TRNT, dms on Tumblr and the Forum, the Twine server, and the awaited reviews on the Forum.

Overall, the people who liked the game really enjoyed themselves, from the writing and the worldbuilding being intriguing, or how pretty the UI was. Even with the issues raised during the festival, quite a lot of people (who sent me comments) thought the experiment was either a success, something really cool, or impressive considering the limitations (of the festival and/or of the program). Even in the more critical comments, this experiment was seen as an interesting one to be commended (with a bit of a why did you bother... sprinkled in there). Someone told me TRNT reminded them of the Divergent series (and fair comparison, considering the whole ritual to put you in one job for the rest of your life).

The most surprising thing was that people who never played parser before (or didn't really liked them) found the game entertaining and fun to go through, managing to get to the end without too many issues; while the reviewers with more experience in the genre had a bit more restraints due to the command system I put in place.

Whether my giddiness about verbose writing was to the liking of the player or not, I was honestly happy comments about my grammar didn't make much of an appearance this time around (yay, progress!), and that I would get kudos for the vague story behind the experiment itself, and the structure of the story itself.

But this doesn't mean that it was all sunshine and rainbow here. TRNT had some obvious issues, which should have been squashed during the testing phase had this one been longer (yet again, me speed-running through comps when I should take my time... when will I learn...). There were two main ones: the commands and the UI.

The biggest issue came from the commands, being either unclear or confusing, especially when it came to the cardinal direction, the choice of synonym for the actions, or special actions like the name input. Even if you could go along the story with just a noun or press C until you reached the end, missing important verb commands did not help the game feel complete (EXAMINE/GET/the shortcuts). This is where having some Parser knowledge/experience would have come handy, he.... As for the cardinal directions, it was probably most confusing because I used them as synonyms for forward/back/left/right instead of N/S/W/E (that and it wasn't clear where you were able to go in the text either). Quite a few players were also getting stuck in the corridor (after you come to a stop, you hear some thing up front and your choices are to move to the side/jump or stand still). Special actions like the name input or the final choice were felt a bit off/broke immersion. Party due to the way SugarCube is, partly due to how I organised the game. Having a simple input where the player is asked for their name before the game start and have a say name command, might have worked better there. That and a better hinting system. Fix for those TBD.

Closely followed was the UI being annoying (which ;-; bc I pride myself on creating good UI, but it was fair critique), from the scrolling being an absolute ass, to the confusing bolding of the start of passages being the same as the interactive words (if you didn't change the colour in the settings), to the back/replay last choice command on the END screen not going to the right spot, or the responses of computing an inputted command not appearing/being confusing (in relation to the scrolling), some quirks with the UI being wonky for some screen sizes, etc... Thankfully, all those have been fixed.... but too late for the reviews already published. A quick revamp of the UI base + solving the scrolling issue + slight reformatting of the printed new text bits solved if not all of those issues. Still... too little too late... That's what you get for making a UI in a large screen and only checking different width but not different heights....

A SIDENOTE ON WHY PARSER AND NOT HYPERTEXT

Or me going a bit on a rant. Scroll down to pt 5- The Do-Over to resume coherent levelled conversation.

Still, making a parser a Twine was a CHOICETM, which didn't work for everybody. I don't know if it was because the game was put forth as a Twine game before being a parser, or because the story was maybe a bit too linear/not very interactive compared to other parsers, or because I set out to make a parser before thinking of a story and it showed for some, (or probably because the parser system was not very well implemented) but I did have a few commenters wondering if my choice of making it a parser was the correct one, as in why would you use parser when hyperlinks would have probably worked better?

Maybe a cop-out answer would be Why not. Why not try to break the rules and the codes of what is a Twine game or what is a parser? Why not push Twine to where it is probably not supposed to go (sorry, TME)? Why not blur the lines of the divides between the subgenres of IF? I wrote some part while having a bit of a fever, and my notes had Why not make parsers less puzzle-y/more linear choice-based like? and oh boi is it good to re-read yourself... Cause yiekes what a load of BS.

The other part of the answer is Because experimenting and doing weird thing is fun! Doing weird thing, writing bad code that should probably not work but it does, putting the program on a lifeline, making up stories that are nonsensical, etc... and breaking people's mind in the process with what could be done. Also it was just fun to find out whether it was just possible to do it at all. The rush of happiness when you the puzzle is solved is so incredibly gratifying. It was really fun to try something different (for me but also for what Twine can generally do), to solve a puzzle of mashing two things that don't/shouldn't go together, to find what makes them tick and make it all work, and to challenge myself to do something new (did I mention before it was my fist time making a parser?). AND, having fun creating! And the SpringThing has always been a beacon to promote experimentation with the genre and more out there stuff. So it's was kind of like the stars aligned or something :P

Also Because it was possible!That one is pretty self-explanatory...

Maybe a bit more presumptuous of me: Because experimenting keeps Interactive Fiction fresh and exciting! I'm not trying to set a trend or anything here (honestly, it's not too strange, TRNT's weirdness kind of follows my previous work with TTTT and its mixology element, or DOL-OS with it computer interphase), but isn't fun to see what else can be done in IF, or what new area can be explored now that funky stuff has been tried, or what else should probably not be done (hopefully this doesn't apply to TRNT lol, I think it should be fun to have more parser in Twine). Even if my entry was not really a novel idea even in the gameplay (exhibit A, exhibit B, exhibit C), I still think there should be more weird stuff out there, so I contribute to that where/when I can! It'd be sad if IF became same-y and stale... It'd be fun if someone did something like this because they played TRNT and thought it was neat :P

And Because it didn't fit with my original vision of the game. Even if the game changed quite a lot along the way, the parser element was something I would not compromise with, no matter how good or bad the final product was. Sorry TME for the kittens lost in the autofocus of the textboxes...

I did wonder for a while how many people opened the settings at all 🤔

5- The Do-Over?

Ha.

Haha.

Hahaha.

No.

Honestly... If I was going back to the start, I don't think I would change anything. Even if the length of the testing was more than minimal (still haven't learned my lesson), even if I rushed into the competition (again, not learned my lesson), even if I made errors along the way (well, maybe fixing the UI earlier instead) or let the story stray that much away from the original idea (honestly it was probably for the best that it ended not being too close to Aisle at the end, I might have gotten eviscerated in the reviews). It did what it was supposed to do, and checked all the boxes from what I wanted to try. At the end, to me, it was a complete (and stressful success).

Will there be some changes in the future?

Just a bit, at some point, TBD and TBA. Just to fix the commands a bit, maybe rearrange some passages, add a bit more variation/hidden codex entries, maybe even a new ending or two! But it wouldn't go further than that. TRNT was an experiment through and throuh.

==================== THE END ====================

Anyway, my weird hybrid beast of a parser in Twine and I are done rambling about my awesome show of tricks that may or may not have landed badly and with a broken skateboard. We will go collect our ribbons, now!

Make IF weird, Do word crimes, Have fun

I do wonder if me submitting the game in the Main Garden rather than at the Back Garden played into the expectations of the reviewers, since the BG is meant for more experimental IF. But in the same vein, there was the Kuolema running on a Google Form and people flocked to it so 🤷 It's probably the quality that made things the way it is whooooops :P

#postmortem #trnt #the roads not taken #I have once written too much #and wrote a lot of this under the influence of insomnia #I did win a special accolade: McGruber Honorarium #interactive fiction

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crispn-n · 2 months ago

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the girl on her first errand the mysterious [beast] who craves finer things. the young man whose role to keep the village safe. The moment the girl stepped in、that's where it all began an in·tro·duc·tion

Hapiharo au excitement!!:DD I'm so happy to draw this ideas that been roaming on my mind since last year! Allow me to ramble about the working process of this set

— 01/10/2024

As an opening to October... Initially I wanted to make animation out of this Wolf drawing. Like the classic scene whereas the wolf were caught doing her thing (re : munching her brunch). Yet she immediately noticed your presence few meters away. By the sound of your feet stomping on the leaves? Or perhaps your smell?

I figured out animations would took too much time. 😓 Regular illustration would be good enough with this time restraint!

Took a quite a while before I decide how the final art would end like. Asked my risma pardner for the wolf's eyes treatment. I decided to go w/ the 1st version this time. That eerie feeling... looks nice. At least to give an intimidating first impression before the truth unfolds >:)

This wolf drawing could be seen as her first encountered either with the red riding hood and/or the hunter. The prologue, for sure.

================

— 03/10/2024

Gun down or gun up?

I asked few friends' opinion on my sketches... Most vote went to the 1st one a.k.a gun down! I personally like that one too, i want to draw the hunter as hot cool as possible (trying! my best)

I like how the 1st choice got interpreted as "The Hunter is appearing cautious--all skeptical--as he searches for the feared beast. He lowered his rifle as soon as he realized something is off. Well, it's still the prologue after all!"

So I proceed with that first sketch. My only concern was that his holding-the-riffle pose wasn't clearly visible when cropped to the composition. I still keep the other two version of the sketches, I could still use it for something in the future. Also IDK how to draw riffle for real. JKSDAJKFS BUT thanks CSP gallery for having that free 3D asset. Huge lifesaver!!! I can draw hapiharo doujinshi!!!!

This Hunter drawing was finished and published 5 days later, irl coming in the way @ most of part oof.

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— 11/10/2024

Finally getting the time to start working on Mikakazukin!! he he he. I came up with various sketches (there are 5 of them but I decide to only show these two!)

As usual, asked my risma pardner to vote again.. The 1st one has a pretty good composition and pose! I like it... but the foreshadowing-lore-accurate sketch was the winner. 😇 (aka the second sketch)

The Red Ridng Hood seemed like she was caught off guard. Looking down, realizing that she might've stepped...onto..something. That led to her first encounter with the wolf.

I thought the second one also has a matching vibe with the rest of the set. The first one is like.. good for aesthetic-purposes.

Writing "Red Riding Hood" takes too much space on the ribbon. So I decided to stick with "The Villager" title for her. It matched the whole set better 🤝😉 Since lil red riding hood wasn't the main focus on this AU, villager suits her too story-wise hehehe

The Red Riding Hood drawing completed the quickest among the other two. I didn't spend too much time pondering what to add or what to fix. It was posted on the next day.

===============

Ok maybe thats all the rambles for this set! Crosses finger I could somehow draw the stories as comics. I feel like I've been cooking quite well for this AU ^_^ if not this month, definitely next year.

Hopefully i'll be able to cook one more thing by the end of october :D

od im so slow... but thats okay i'd like to take all the time i can to pursue what i passion for. Commissioning someone else for this AU been a very hard to achieve due to lot of reasons. So i'll try to cook it myself!!!!

I'd like to thank all my friends that helped me going thru artistic indecisiveness in this creating journey <3 see u on next ramble

#oc #drawing #crisp rambles #polished art #hapiharo #artist on tumblr

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vinnymauro · 1 year ago

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make me write: 5k edition

it's that time again!! the 5k went well last time so this time i'd like to keep it going before i bump it up to 10k. i probably won't bump it up until i finish tied me to you tbh. anyway thank you so much for voting!!

acey’s poll breakdown

this poll is to determine which of my wips will be worked on for 1 week for a goal of 5k

in case of a tie, i’ll split 2.5k between both

the writing won’t start until tuesday 12 am and will end the following wednesday 12 am (est)

you may (and it’s highly encouraged!!) periodically message me for snippets of which won

you may reblog and random people may vote idc

if you’d like to do this, may i point you to the original poll post that i’m basing this off. but also feel free to do what you want bc, after all, this is for fun!!

the wips

another life

pairing: eddie munson x nancy wheeler prompt: things you said when we were on top of the world plot: musician!nancy wheeler & actor!eddie munson are getting a divorce! read all about it on page six. in an era of social media and high expectations, two people fell in love with versions of themselves they no longer know or recognize.

city lights

pairing: eddie munson x nancy wheeler prompt: things you said when you thought i was asleep plot: affectionately called bartender au where nancy is a bartender, currently lost and trying to find herself in the new city she’s been living in for the past year. eddie is a musician in this but not terribly successful, playing small clubs here and there. there’s a past.

tied pt 3

pairing: steve harrington x chrissy cunningham prompt: things you said when you thought i was asleep (pt 4 will also be this one) plot: the third part of tied me to you where there’s a funky little time jump and it’ll cover fall and new years eve of 1990. steve’s point of view. this is where the when harry met sally vibes come in.

secret 4th thing (liminal space prompt)

pairing: unknown prompt: #93. graffiti'd train car (prompt list) plot: if you vote for this you should also tell me who you'd like to see for this.

#acey talks #wip games #5ktreatment*

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eurovision-revisited · 8 months ago

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Eurovision 2003 - Number 2 - Nicola - "Don't Break My Heart"

youtube

Eurovision national finals often have contestants who keep coming back despite missing out several times before. To this point none have been as determined as Nicola Alexandru. She has been featuring in my blogs for some time now. Her first appearance was as early as 1994, then again the previous year to this 2002. If I'd have been compiling top 48s back in 1993, she's have been featured that year too.

In 2003, she finally won Selecția Națională having entered it every single time it was held, since the first one took place in 1993. In that time she'd had some bad results and finishes, but she always came back. It was a different story on her seventh attempt. Nicola won comfortably. In both the semi-final and the final she finished top of both the jury points and the televote. If anyone deserved a shot at Eurovision, it was Nicola.

What a song to enter with. Don't Break My Heart is full-speed Eurodance/Europop headlong rush that leaves Nicola almost no time to draw breath. Even the lower key verses are rammed full of lyrics, with almost no pause for oxygen. It's not as if she's taking it easy on her voice either. It's full on from the very first word. Yes, it's repetitive, and Nicola's distinctive vocal is straining at points with the power she's having to use to keep up with the propulsion imparted by the instrumental. It was written by Nicola and her then husband Mihai Alexandru, so at least she was the architect of her own trial.

The staging is novel. Two things stand out. First is that there is a story being told exclusively by the dancers while Nicola sings. The second thing is the relative lack of camera time Nicola gets. There're a lot of wide shots to try to take everything that's happening in. When there's a close-up shot, more often than not it's on the dancers Their high-kicking love triangle appears to end up both peaceful and polygamous, just so they can fit in the colours of the Romanian flag.

There have been other attempts to do some other choreographed story telling in Eurovision history, but rarely is it this complex. It's certainly attention grabbing. They shed so many of their clothes, this is the ultimate destination of Marie N.s performance two years ago. You're taken in not only by the momentum of the song but in trying to follow exactly what's going on.

It was the song that cemented the onset of the Romanian years of Eurovision. It finished 10th, their second top 10 finish in a row. It was a demonstration that Romania had worked something out. They had an approach to Eurovision that worked. Upbeat, high-tempo songs with inventive, memorable staging that people would keep in mind when it came to voting. Fan opinion still holds this in good esteem. It's as high as fifth in the ESC Discord global rankings for 2003.

I love the pace and energy, as well as Nicola's commitment to her moment on the Eurovision stage. Going into 2003, I thought this would be my winner but something else pipped her at the post.

#Youtube #esc #esc 2003 #eurovision #eurovision song contest #national finals #Romania #Selecția Națională 2003 #Nicola #Nicola Alexandru #Mihai Alexandru #riga #riga 2003

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tokkiasnanowrimo · 1 year ago

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some pre-nanowrimo thoughts!

it's the 31st here which means nanowrimo starts tomorrow for me so i wanted to put my thoughts out into the world before everything kicks off

first of all, wow thank you all so much for your support, i genuinely thought like 3 people would follow me so to see there's so many of you who are interested in my nanowrimo journey (or probably more likely the story itself lol) is really nice. thank you all wow thats a lotta people to disappoint

second, i will say up front, i do not think i'm getting to the 50k word goal. even though it's only 1667 words a day which is a pretty average number for me, i still don't feel completely back to my old self where i can just write like it's nothing. you guys also managed to overwhelmingly vote for the one fic i had absolutely no plans for. i had a trope and a dream and i straight up put that option there to pad it out thinking no one would vote for it. that one was my bad. i know i'm not obligated to do that option but i have wanted to write a nalu fake dating au forever and if i don't do it now i don't know if i ever will. i have managed to come up with... sort of a plan. i have the big plot points and i just need to figure out what goes in between. i'm hoping it comes together quickly lol

if not the 50k end goal, i'd like to at least hit 25k words written. i'd like to have completely finished the fic before i start posting so i can do weekly updates and not leave you guys hanging for months on end waiting for new updates lol

if you made it this far, thanks for reading and wish me luck!

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fountainpenguin · 1 year ago

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Who were you rooting for to win in each finale of Total Drama (including Ridonculous Race)?

?? It has literally never occurred to me to root for someone while I watch. TIL.

[Disclaimer - I do like Total Drama but this post involves me talking about ships and characters I don't like; I don't like putting that kind of stuff in the tags. I'm not disabling reblogs but please only reblog if you like this post and not because you want to fight; I'm just answering an Ask]

R-Race was the only one that left me truly "Aw man" about it. The characters who are my favorites to watch vs. those who I would expect and/or desire the narrative to reward with my author eyes are absolutely different, ha ha.

So for those who don't know, in the first 3 seasons (maybe more?), the two finalists each have an ending, and different endings air in different countries (I believe they were determined by voting on the Total Drama website during the final week).

All my TD 'fics take place in the same universe and the canon winners in my storyline were Owen, Duncan (who felt guilt-ridden about it, which was the plot of my one-shot "Chris Missed"), Heather, Cameron, Zoey, Shawn... I didn't post any R-Race 'fics beyond the opening bits of Lions Under Palm Trees, but I remember being disappointed by the winners. But that's more because I dislike Geoff with a fiery passion than anything else.

The characters I would argue are the narrative's main characters of their season... I would say Gwen for Island, Duncan for Action, Cody for World Tour, Mike for Revenge, Zoey for All-Stars, Jasmine for Pahkitew, and the cops for Race. Those aren't necessarily the people I personally want to be winners; just saying I think that's who the writers liked a lot and it showed.

World Tour was my first season; I was exposed to it by a sibling listening to it in the same room as me (which also means Aleheather came out of NOWHERE for me because it was purely audio exposure and missed all the small visual cues and I thought they just hated each other... I mean, I've rewatched the series several times since then and I still dislike this ship because I feel like it came out of nowhere and I don't feel any love between them, but idk how much of that was influenced by my first non-visual exposure to their relationship. And just because it's a NOTP for me, that doesn't mean I consider it non-canon... but that's how I write all my 'fics when my NOTPs are canon, so).

I was definitely exposed to the World Tour versions of Courtney's, Heather's, Cody's, Ezekiel's, and Noah's personalities before their Island selves, which I think influences my interest in them as characters in the prequels. Hands down TDWT favorite season, absolutely no contest for me. Pahkitew is close second, though.

I think Cody's the only character I would consider myself to be "rooting for" during a season. The concept of a character who got mauled by a bear in his first season, had to sit out the second season, then finally comes back and gets a fangirl who is obsessed with him to the point that he can barely participate in half the challenges because she is In The Way is SO funny. I also feel like Cody suffered more than most characters on the show due to the combo of bear mauling and having his boundaries consistently violated... He deserved a win. I know he's already a rich kid but I don't care.

In no particular order, my favorite characters in the series are Ezekiel, Eva, Noah, Leonard, Topher, Max, Dwayne Junior, and the Adversity Twins, but I wouldn't describe myself as rooting for them... they got as much screen time as they needed to. Leonard and Topher are some of the best characters I've ever seen in media though, I love them so much <3 To this day, I've never loved writing a character as much as I've loved writing Leonard. He's SO funny and he's a goofy little angel. I have so many unfinished Leonard drafts... I'd love to finish those 'fics someday, but I just don't have time to do everything.

I don't know what current fandom opinions on Topher are, but back when Pahkitew was airing, my quip to my siblings was that "Topher is so manipulative, he even fooled the fandom into thinking he's not as bad as he is." That kid played up the manipulative angle to look shallow on purpose... to hide the fact that he legitimately was super manipulative. He's fantastic. I haven't seen Pahkitew in about 7 years so a fresh watch might affect me differently, but... man. Topher, my absolute beloved.

(In my 'verse Topher is the son of Don (the R-Race host) which means he was just chilling around the elimination area in my R-Race elimination 'fic Lions Under Palm Trees, and man... my love for "character who lives in a hotel, doesn't have either of his parents around, who has mostly been left to care for himself, and he looks up to his dad with stars in his eyes despite also being the most manipulative slimeball in the world..." He's horrific, wants you to think he's a cinnamon roll but can and will absolutely destroy you just because he's bored... I love that 'fic draft so much.)

One of my favorite R-Race teams was also the couple who was super mushy at the start and then started fighting all the time (I think their names were Ryan and Stephanie, but it's been years so I might be wrong). I didn't feel attached to them as characters but I loved how they were portrayed, if that makes sense. My family were big fans of Amazing Race for years (used to watch it weekly) and we watched the second half of R-Race together as a family. We were crying laughing about how accurate their fighting was to the couples who actually participate in Amazing Race. Absolutely 10/10 characterization. No notes.

I don't know if any of that answers your original question, but that's kind of all I have to say. I liked characters who did neat things, but if they weren't competitive enough to fight for victory then they did not deserve to and I would have been mad if they ended up in the finals despite not being a good player. If you're weak then you deserve to go home like the weak links you are <3

I root for "being fun to watch" I guess. And Cody in World Tour.

(Zeke deserved better but also I wouldn't change his World Tour arc for a second. Becoming blinded with obsession to the point that you literally become a twisted, feral version of yourself and start hunting the other characters down and that's it, that's your character arc is the best thing I've ever seen. That moment of quietly cold, calculated, absolutely suppressed fury on Zeke's face after he kidnaps Chris in "All Stars" and Chris is monologuing about every horrible thing he's ever done to Zeke is my everything. That moment when you see what a broken human he's become. That moment he realizes Chris doesn't care he's hurting and doesn't want to help him because feral Zeke is "good content." I need everyone to understand.)

#99% true as far as we remember #Long post #Lions Under Palm Trees #I'll get actual tags someday sorry #The Story Where Courtney Takes Feral Zeke to Prom was one of the best things I ever wrote I think. because it makes me giggle #No Zeke Recovery Speedruns he suffers like the universe intended

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annes-room · 2 months ago

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mid-point book review: Powerless by Lauren Roberts ⚔️

I got this from the library a few days ago and I'd had it on hold for so long I forgot what had initially intrigued me 😅 but! I'm halfway through now and want to give a review of what I've read so far!

the biggest thing I've noticed is that this book is a mash up between The Hunger Games, The Selection series, and Graceling.

I have spoilers under the cut for the comparisons I've noticed, but my spoiler-free review for right now is that I do really like it! it's an easy read and despite there being so many similarities to other books, I don't know how it's going to end and I'd like to find out. if an enemies to lovers version of The Hunger Games sounds good to you, you'd probably like this.

🏹 the most obvious influence is The Hunger Games.

-rather than annual, every 5 years a set of Trials takes place in the kingdom, a competition to show off your powers (doesn't seem to be a lottery system though) -the Trials started after the Plague like how the Hunger Games started after the Dark Days (timing wise, not necessarily purpose wise) -the main female character, Paedyn, lives in the slums, stealing to survive, lives with a girl (Adena) she considers to be her sister who loves beautiful things -she makes a promise to Adena that she'll survive and come back to her -Paedyn's father was killed during her early teens and once he died, she had to take on the work of keeping herself alive -gets a bow and arrows during the first Trial and shoots a rabbit straight through the eye -the lead up to the Trials is VERY similar to the Hunger Games. all competitors are taken to live in the castle in identical rooms (even if they're already royalty), training and an interview before the Trails start, interview host has an unusual hair colour, votes cast during interviews indicate crowd favourites -the first Trial has them all in a different location in the kingdom (like the arena) and none of the contestants know ahead of time where it is -weapons and medicine left around the Trial arena similar to the Cornucopia and parachutes -the Trial being recorded and shown at the post-Trial interview

👑 The Selection series: -Slow burn romance, lots of will they/won't they -Male love interest is a prince -Adena is so similar to May in terms of character traits and being brought to the castle during the Trials -attacks on the castle by the revolution via being disguised as guards -Blair is very similar to Celeste in the first book of the Selection -Prince harmed by his own father to "teach him" -kingdom named Ilya, very similar to Illéa -Paedyn learns of her father's involvement in the Resistance only after he dies, much like America and her father

🗡️ Graceling: -some people have supernatural abilities (Elites) and others don't (Ordinaries), it's unclear (so far) why some people have their abilities and others don't -similar themes of survival

with all that said, there is a lot that's different in Powerless from the series I've just compared it too, but I am a little bit taken out of the world-building aspect since it is so similar to THG. I don't mean for this to be a tear-down of Powerless, just my honest thoughts and observations.

like I said at the top, I'm about halfway through right now, I'll probably finish it in the next day or so and then I'll update with my final thoughts! (no spoilers please!)

#annes room #my bookshelf #2024 reading #reading #powerless lauren roberts #lauren roberts #powerless trilogy #book review #the hunger games #enemies to lovers

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spaceacethespookypansfanfics · 5 months ago

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Bros Hanging Out (Plus Robin)

Bros hanging out 2.0

Rick, Radford, Robin, Kevin, and Streber

Movie night?

Human Streber

Radford and Kevin are best friends

Streber and Robin are college friends from the theatre department

Rick is friends with Radford and Kevin from working together

Streber and Robin are older than Kevin and Radford but Rick is the oldest

They play video games together and just generally all hang out together at Robin and Radford’s house

They’re watching a horror movie due to majority vote

Kevin and Radford don’t like horror movies, but everyone else does

Here is a warmup oneshot of the spooky month guys (and robin) hanging out watching a horror movie. It's so short, I figured I'd post it here, but I'll also provide a link to the ao3 counterpart for anyone who prefers reading there.

Bros (And Robin) hanging Out Again (Movie night addition) (837 words) by SpaceAceTheSpookyPan Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spooky Month (Short Films - Sr Pelo) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kevin/Streber (Spooky Month), Kevin & Radford (Spooky Month), Radford & Streber (Spooky Month), Rick Hedony & Kevin & Radford & Streber, Rick Hedony & Kevin, The boys (Rick Radford Kevin Streber) and Robin (Spooky Month) Characters: Kevin (Spooky Month), Streber (Spooky Month), Radford (Spooky Month), Rick Hedony (Spooky Month), Robin (Spooky Month) Additional Tags: Established Candybats, Everyone is friends, Robin is Radford's sister, Robin and Streber are college friends, Rick is the oldest, Kevin and Radford are the youngest, And best friends, not candybats focused, just friends watching a movie together, It's a horror movie, author knows nothing about horror movies, Kevin and Radford don't like horror movies, Radford and Rick are NOT dating, Just Friends, they play diablo iii at the end because that's author's favourite video game currently Summary: Rick, Robin, and Streber majority vote for their monthly movie night to watch a horror movie. Radford and Kevin hate this, as they hate horror movies. But a vote is a vote and the tradition must be honoured and upheld.

“Come oooon, guuuuys, do we really have to watch this?” Kevin whines as he sets the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

“Yes! We all agreed so stop complaining.” Streber sets down the drinks next to the bowl. He grabs one of the cans of pop and cracks it open with one hand before plopping his butt down on the floor against the couch. Streber’s usual spot.

Kevin groans, sitting in his usual spot, behind Streber on the couch. He has to lift his long legs to step over and around Streber as to not knock his boyfriend in the head. Streber does not help at all, staying perfectly still, almost as if he’s daring Kevin to hit him.

“Okay, but like why this one? Isn’t it supposed to be incredibly stupid?” Radford walks into the den, Robin following behind him.

“It’s not stupid, it’s a classic. A must see,” Robin argues back, crossing her arms.

Rick pushes through the siblings with the dvd case in hand. “Stop complaining, both of you.” He shoots Kevin a hard look from across the room to which, Kevin flips him off.

Radford lets out the biggest sigh before making his way to the couch, and sitting on the floor next to Streber, his own usual spot in front of Rick. As the younger brother, he’s not permitted the chair, that’s Robin’s throne and she’s made that very clear in the past.

“Fineee, let’s just get this over with. And next time, Kevin and I get to pick, you monsters.”

“. . . That was . . .” Radford starts, absolutely gobsmacked. He can’t finish his thought, the words just not coming to mind.

Kevin is gripping one of the lumpy throw pillows with all his might, holding it to his chest and face as a shield. “. . . Awful?” He supplies.

Radford’s brain kickstarts again. “Terrible. Absolutely terrible. I never want to watch that again.” His words are resolute and probably even a little offensive to the three horror buffs in the room.

Rick flips Radford off with his beer bottle in hand. “Shut up or we’re watching the next one,” he threatens.

Streber pats Kevin’s thigh. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad guys.” He reaches over and claps Radford’s shoulder.

Radford frowns at him behind his thick rimmed glasses but it’s not very menacing. “I hate you all so much right now,” he says, “except you Kevin,” he adds quickly.

Kevin lets out a weak groan behind his pillow shield. “I’m literally not gonna be able to sleep tonight, thanks guys.”

“Aw, don’t worry babe, it’ll be okay. I’ll stay with you tonight.” Streber twists to face Kevin, patting his leg once more with even more affection. “I’ll protect you from the ghosts in your apartment,” Streber adds.

A distressed squawk sounds from behind the pillow making everyone laugh. “Not funny, Streb!” Kevin swats at Streber’s shoulder, lowering his defensive pillow for a moment before quickly holding it back to his face.

Streber chuckles with too much mirth have any sort of conscience. Kevin almost wonders if he wants Streber by his side for the night, or he should stay with Radford instead. At least Radford won’t joke at his expense.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough laughing at the poor babies. What do we wanna do now?” Robin cuts through the laughter with her big sisterly tone, assuming leadership of the group as usual.

“We could continue our Diablo campaign? Still got a few season quests to do,” Streber suggests. He knows video games will help take Kevin and Radford’s minds off the horror movie.

Rick hums behind his beer, “good idea. Help the babies calm down a bit.” Both Kevin and Radford shoot glares at Rick.

They may be the babies of the group, but no 21-year-olds appreciate being called babies just because they don’t like scary movies and are a little uneasy after watching one. “Can you stop calling us babies already?” Radford demands. He throws a popcorn kernel at Rick’s face who flinches away successfully before glaring back.

“Don’t act like a baby then and I won’t.” He grabs the kernel that landed on his shirt and flicks it back at Radford, landing it in his unruly curls with a satisfied smirk.

“Oh real mature of you.” Radford digs his fingers through his hair, trying to find the kernel, it takes a second but eventually he shakes it out, the popcorn falling harmlessly to the carpeted floor.

“Stop throwing food at each other before I make you,” Robin warns, not wanting things to escalate or she’ll no doubt have to vacuum the den again thanks to those two.

Streber chuckles at his friends’ antics while he crawls around the coffee table and over to the TV stand where he switches the input to the game console and hits the power button. He passes out everyone’s respective controller (they all have a favourite one) before adjusting the TV volume to be less loud.

“Well, let’s get to it then. We got some monsters to massacre.”

#spooky month #fanfic #candybats #kevin spooky month #streber spooky month #radford spooky month #rick spooky month #robin spooky month #robin is radford's sister #everyone is friends #fanfic oneshot #movie night with the bros #kevin and radford don't like horror movies #I know nothing about horror movies

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chodarktrash · 6 months ago

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i thought i'd make a further addition to this post - first of all thanks you guys for all the votes! I wanted to give some more information as to how i plan to sell these:

given each character has more than one vote, and quite a few people interested in buying more than one i'm thinking an ebay listing would make the most sense? i've never sold things online before and i wouldn't feel comfortable doing private sales for worry about chargebacks and such

i'll give lots of notice for when the different plushies go upso that everyone gets an equal chance, and i'll start the price at a little under £30 - I took a look around and found some sold out for $50+ which is just utterly ridiculous, these are nice plushes but they're not $50 nice

the plush will come with the OG box and blind bag (and maybe a little treat too! :D)

i will be giving an update mid-late July and aim to get them sold and shipped by the end of next month, everything will ~commence~ after i finish my house move with my parents

the money will go towards my masters degree im starting this year! :D

i will need the buyers to pay for shipping, especially because i expect most to be overseas, i'll figure this out nearer the time when i get the ebay set up

Remember the Youtooz blind boxes?

#i need to come up with a tag for this in case people want to filter it out #youtooz sale #that'll probably work!#i plan on bumping this post a little but it'll likely only be two updates at most after this #please do share if you have any friends who might be interested! :D #if you have any questions feel free to message me :)

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manonamora-if · 2 years ago

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Another week passed... I did things!

Patched some lil bugs (one that I had created trying to fix something else...), reformatted some pages, and fixed some typos.

Since the end of the Comp, the French IF community has been streaming the entries. Last Wednesday was my turn! It is not a full playthrough (as the game is really that long), but it solved all puzzles but one. The participants in the stream were also quite close in figuring out the story... :)

Two people on the IntFiction Forum are also reviewing the Comp entries. And I was among the first to get very lovely reviews from both of them!

I've also got someone lovely return from players in general, as well as more critical feedback/ideas for edits. When I have a bit more time, I will try to implement those and add an English translation to it...

Anyway, play DOL-OS here!

No one has figured out the Easter Egg or found the hidden meaning either yet... :(

I have finished reworking the UI. This include shuffling around some blocks, increasing the container size, simplifying the Interface code, adding some transitions between screens, fixing the animations (;-; finally), adding a new "screen", customising the Dialog boxes, etc...

AND ! The UI has been optimising for Mobile view too! To get the full experience, I'd still advise for a screen being at least 900x600, but smaller screen (portrait) will be able to play soon!

Before I upload the fix, I would like to add a tad more text (a small scene with Mr. E) and add a few extra settings, especially for timed/typed animated text (tested, need to add to the file), and font options.

Maybe next week update? Or the week after...

You know what I forgot last week? Recoding the searching through the room part of Scene 1 (because it's a sperate file)... That's done now. As well as the side destination options. I've done 1/3rd of Scene 2, not touched Scene 3, and half of Scene 4.

I thought I would have been further than I am now but I'm not... I forgot how big the chapter were. Each file is 1.3k - 2k lines of code/writing. That's a lot to go through.

On the plus side, since I've figured out a better way of coding the next animation, I got to optimise some stuff!

I am still not set on a title, but I do have the theme for my SeedComp! entry: Noir... but kind of a spoof?

Short pitch: you play as a down-on-your-luck P.I. waiting for your next case to pay your bills, when a Dame enters your office.

The whole thing is drafted, I've described the big actions/choices, and started writing it. Since I've also set myself on the One Page template as my UI, I won't need to spend too much time on that. Just the coding, when the writing is done.

Some repeat of last week:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~IFDB AWARDS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The IFDB Awards are almost over. Less than one week to vote!

Check out this post for more information.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SEEDCOMP !~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A bit more than 2 weeks left on the Sprouting Round of the @seedcomp-if ! Come join me and create a little game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SPRING THING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FRENCH COMP~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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That's about it. Toodles~

#progress #p-rix - space trucker #p-st #dol-os #crwl #crimson rose and white lily #seedcomp #ifdb awards #springthing

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hoopdiddies · 6 years ago

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I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 8)

A/N: Ayoooo. Hey guys, here's part 8 and I'm so sorry if the previous chapters kind of frustrated you. I didn't really mean for it to but I hope you enjoy this one. I'll be posting 9 tomorrow or the day atfter. Thanks again for your feedbacks, y'all motivate me a lot ^^ ♥ (My Wi-Fi has prejudice against tumblr rn)

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Angst, bois. ANGST (I cried like a sucker during one part I wrote 😔) mention of blood, yet again drinking, some speckles of fluff, and unnecessary dialogue if you look closely enough :^ I feel like a terrible writer today

WC: 4k I think?

Tags: As always my taglist is always open uwu

@haendel-me-with-care

@mrsdoradominguez-barnes

@mickmoon

@lakef

@mrsmazzello

@valeriecarolinaw

@queen-turtle-boiii

@hardzzellos

"You look...beautiful." Ben's comment is indeed one thing to start the night. It's not like he's never told you that before–it's just the tone in which he has said it in is...different. A foreign tone never been released from his lips until you. You look up at him through your lashes, giving him a slanted smile accompanied by a bubbly chuckle. "Thanks. You smell nice too."

The corner of his eyes crinkle as his curving lips push them up. As expected, Rosy chimes in between you and Ben almost too quickly, the blurry speed in which she has arrived in making you gasp. "Excuse me, babe. You got interviewers on your tail and I- oh," her brows shoot up upon seeing you, seemingly haughty eyes flicking up and down your outfit in mild contempt.

"Surprised to see you here as well." The smile plastered on her face couldn't be any more forced than it is.

Girl, chill. Anti-aging soaps are not easy to manufacture these days. You begin holding your breath to prevent yourself from bursting into a fit from hearing that thought ring in your head. You shrug, garnering the guts to shift on your heightened stance and lean in an inch close.

"You're not the only one with a celebrity date."

You turn around too early to gauge her reaction, finally exhaling from holding your breath too long. You can finally conclude that she's had an effortless transition from being benign to far from being benign. The smoothest one-eighty you've ever witnessed. You remember her clearly being downright considerate of you the first time you met her yet now is a whole different story. You wonder if she was actually ever considerate.

As the boys and Lucy indulge in brief interviews, you stand behind the scenes and get the first-class chance of conversing with Brian. He's readily the coolest person in the house right now, bantering with you every once in three, fascinating topics. How fortunate are you to be in the spot a million Queen fans would die for but of course, you don't want to leave out Roger who - by a landslide - makes you wish you could wheeze and snort all you want if you weren't in a luxury event such as the Oscars. He seemed intimidating for you at first but as he joined in your talk with Brian, things escalated real quickly.

With the pre-ceremony interviews and the clinking of champagne glasses dampening, you begin hunting for your seats in the theatre.

Before you know it, you are informed that only a specific line of people are given exclusivity for the seats. And it shocks you that Joe, Allen, Ben and Gwilym are not given that card when in fact they were part of the very film that brought forth a new generation of fans.You shake your head disappointingly albeit contented that Rami, Lucy, Brian and Roger and their wives are part of the exclusivity.

Utterly determined to know the results - by Joe's 'sovereign' vote - the rest of you hang around in the waiting area, focusing on the ceremony rights shown on TV. Quietly sitting through the results, you all whoop and applaud at the mention of Bohemian Rhapsody obtaining three awards straight– your cheers amping up a notch as Rami brings home the 'Best Actor' award. Joe begins filming your reactions for Instagram, zooming into Gwilym, Ben and Allen's faces for most of the video. You throw your head back in laughter at how goofy the boys look; a bunch of men in their 30's bouncing up and down with one of them documenting the entire episode. At one point, Gwilym yanks as you in for a group hug, mercilessly crushing you in between their muscles– the disorienting experience now being something you wish you would never undergo again.

As Rami's thank you speech unfolds, you pay attention closely. The sentimentality of him lovingly thanking Lucy for being his anchor after dedicating his award to Freddie Mercury is just overwhelming and you wish you could tear up but your mascara would be waste. You're certain that made Brian and Roger emotional as well.

An hour after the ceremony, you all head down to the Vanity Fair after party in the same limo you had arrived in with every single person in the group eager to get the night progressing. Regardless of saying that these type of parties are not up to your speed, you try to get along with the evening and revel in what you know would be your last night with them. Sadly enough, Roger and Brian had to skip out on this with rough schedules on their hands. The moment they walked out of the place, they spent nearly half an hour congratulating the boys and having other celebrities congratulate them.

As you are seated across Ben and Rosy, you can't help but notice him acting a little distant from her. She's all nuzzled up against his arm and he is nowhere close to returning the favor. He's just...lost in thought, staring out the tinted window. It's still early to assume that in all the hours you were within a close range to them, Ben only ever acted aloof, giving her attention when the situation required it.

Perhaps a lover's tiff took place?

"Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing too." Mimicking your position, Joe calling you back to Earth makes you gasp a little. You close your eyes and look at your fingers blankly after recovering, sighing. "I think we should end all this pretending. It was simply a cop-out in the first place."

"I know," he whispers audibly enough for only you to hear, running his fingers through his fiery, red hair, "you should probably come clean soon enough before you leave."

And that you will. At least, you'll try.

In your defense, you thought the after party would host a fancy banquet but seated around with celebratory drinks -considerable with something classy - and attendees breaking down on the dance floor is a rather okay scene as well. As long as you don't end up like the night you were invited out for a drink with your colleagues, you should be fine for the most part.

The boys and Lucy have fully immersed themselves in the beat of the music while you've decided to remain stationary with one glass of wine, the only glass you'll be having for the rest of the party.

The entire time you gawk at them amusingly as they break out their dance moves, your eyes always find their way to Ben, who makes you snort painfully from all his antics as he moves along with Joe. They're a mess with their ties and buttons undone from all the movement and the sight inspires you to stay put.

But oh dear lord, can Ben dance like an uncle.

Keeping your attention on them, a descending weight sinks down next to you. You pay no mind to whoever it is but do as her voice interrupts your thoughts. "I hope your eye is on the right person, honey." You click your tongue in exasperation, turning your body towards Rosy and her developing, bitchy tendencies, scoffing as you place your drink down to set things straight with her. "First of all, what did I ever do to you to deserve this kind of talk?"

She smacks her lips together at you, simpering. "You didn't think I'd notice?"

"What are you talking about?"

Her almond eyes narrow as if she's trying pin you down with a warning. "Please, don't act like I never noticed. You're overstepping that boundary between you and your best friend- my fiance." Okay, so she's noticed. But your neutralized expression is not going to be giving away anything.

You incline your head to one side in hopes that the facade you're pulling would decompress her suspicion. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Ben is like my brother. "

Grabbing her drink from the table, she sighs and stands up, hands firm on her hips and face silhouetted under the beaming light nevertheless giving you a transpiercing glower in the manner of seeing through the makeshift barrier you've pulled up. "He better be. Try backing off every once in a while when I'm around."

To your dismay, you snap inside, whipping your head up at her and replying sharply to make the message crystal clear. "Rosy, you have no idea." Unable to withstand the atmosphere you're in, you put great emphasis on your words and snatch your drink, walking out to the mini garden to finish what's left of your wine without having to bear being around her.

The question is unadulterated and obvious– bold and italicized if you wish to give it a stretch and clarify it.

Why is Ben still with her?

Is he that clueless not to realize it?

You don't want to pry the answer out yourself but ruminating on it, Rosy pulling off a full one-eighty only when Ben's at an appropriate distance for her to squeeze you between her fingers is just about good as a reason as anything. Your unwavering feelings for Ben are clearly perceived by her– from the way you had reacted the day he introduced you both to each other to not so long ago.

You wonder if Ben ever took heed of her growing attitude towards you.

Finishing your wine in one, immediate, swig, you place it down on the marble surface before you with your fingers cradling the stem of the glass– relishing the spicy liquid flushing down your throat.

At the extent of overexerting themselves, Joe and Gwilym flop down back on their seats like jelly, tuckered out from the unconventional combination of alcohol and unsteady movement. Panting like a dog who had just participated in a marathon, Joe shrugs out of his blazer and tosses it over his shoulder, silently wishing the ice in the bucket that held the bottle of wine would save him from the grinding heat of the wine he had just about five minutes ago.

"Mate, you're deep in the heat." Gwilym comments as it is followed by a gentle laugh on how Joe's glistening in sweat under the dimming lights. He hands him a partially bland look before wiping his forehead with his handkerchief. Lucy and Rami are situated at other end of the place enjoying a chat with another party of people meanwhile Ben and Rosy are nowhere near any of them. Until, of course, they reappear from God knows where and Ben suddenly asks Joe where you've gone.

"I-I don't know." He says after a hefty sigh. Somewhat eager to find you, Ben begins excusing himself from Rosy whom which he has spiked a bitter reaction from for sharing his supposed time for her with you. Fed up and jealous in the slightest, Rosy snaps at him.

"Okay Ben, why do you always have to skip in between minutes to hang out with her even when we're together?"

He pauses from turning around completely and sighs. "She's my friend, babe."

Unwilling to accept his statement, she claims. "Well your friend is getting in the way of what was supposed to be our time together! Can't you set aside a limited time for her?! " This has alarmed Joe and Gwilym but it isn't their business to butt in and stop a quarrel from breaking out. Unless it turns physical, which is doubtful to happen. Ben, a little frustrated but still tolerant of her ongoing skittish behavior, tries to reassure her. "I know that, alright? But something's been bothering her for days and I just want to make sure she's doing alright."

"Can't you leave the worrying to Joe? He's her bloody boyfriend anyway!"

Wagging his forefinger at Rosy, Joe grumbles as he is not having any of her talk, scrunching his brows at her.

Grabbing her shoulders gently, Ben tries to relieve her of tension and assures her once more, but with a well-known fact she obviously still doesn't accept. "Joe's a little drunk. She's like...a sister to me," it really took him an abrupt pause to say 'sister', "besides, you're my fiancee. There's nothing to be jealous about."

"Why does she still have to be a part of your life? Our life?" Now that's a question that has just shifted Ben to a farther side. His brows knit together in momentary disbelief, unable to take her words in a good light. "God, Rosy! She's been around for so long! At least make an effort to accept her!" Like a slap to her conceitedness, Ben turns on his heels and walks out to find you. Leaving Rosy a steaming mess of insecurity.

However slightly drunk, Joe mutters to himself as he makes sure neither Gwilym or especially Rosy hears his words stumble out in a whisper. "You've grown a pair, Ben. You've grown a pair."

You've been outside for nearly half an hour; wine glass empty and your hair, along with the skirt of your dress, drifting along the harmless breeze and the waning moon spilling some light from behind the shaded clouds. Though there were a couple of people that found their way here to get some respite not too long ago, you're just glad to have this space to breathe in from the draining background of the party.

As you lose yourself in thought, a certain voice brings you back to reality.

"Nice night out, huh?"

Turning around slowly, you are met with the cool, forest green irises that you've grown to never tire of seeing. "I'm surprised you're still well-kept in that suit despite the scene back in there. " You give in to a chuckle, your smile pulling Ben to approach your side leisurely. "It's my Oscars suit. Something worthy of protecting."

"Hah!"

As he rests his elbows on the surface next to you, the distance between your skins makes you a tad bit anxious. Comfortable silence falls upon you both– for Ben at least, it's tolerable however you're not taking it well, not even in the slightest. You rub your hands together and sigh, prompting Ben to finally ask you.

"You alright? You've been tensing up lately."

You nod, closing your eyes and opening them afterwards. "This dress is just depleting me of bodily warmth." Half a lie told by you. Acting on his thoughts, Ben begins taking his blazer off but you stop him mid-shrug. "Keep it on. You look better with it on."

"This would look better on you, you're obviously freezing." He's really keen on keeping you warm but you're just as so in letting him keep it on. "I'm serious. Keep it on. I'm fine."

What can he do but just give in? When you're serious, you're serious. He lifts his shoulder in half a shrug, ducking his head as an idea flickers in his head like a bulb. He wants to relive something that has been lost through the years and it's only right that he does...now that you have less than a day to disappear from his life completely.

"Y/N..." He muses gently. You raise your brows at him in question, taken by surprise that he has his hand held out to you. Bewildered, you raise your finger to ask what on Earth he's doing. "What- what are you doing?"

He licks his bottom lip and the smile on his face becomes bashful but certain. "What else does it look like I'm doing, silly girl? Asking you to dance."

You're sorry that you couldn't keep a snort at bay. "Pfft. Ben, I think you're asking the wrong girl."

"Just let me dance with my best friend."

"Wow! That's noble of you," your chuckles can not be contained, even so much as restraining yourself from letting the blush spread throughout your face. But he has the fragments of what was once your heart, so why wouldn't you? You slip your hand in his and the grin on his face widens. "There we go. Easy does it." He breathes out, his voice getting gravelly. You hit him softly on his chest for cooing, at the same time realizing that his voice becomes that way only and only when he's nervous– something uncommon between you both. As his hands find home on your waist, you throw your arms around his neck, laughing at how awkward yet funny it feels. What a huge nod to how you danced with him on Homecoming.

"You're so weird sometimes. You got your fiancee, why don't you dance with her?" Getting used to the sting of referring to Rosy, you question anyway. He initiates with a sway before responding. "I already have. But, " he diverts his heavy-lidded eyes from staring off the distance to yours and suddenly, it feels like you're home, "I want to finish that Homecoming dance."

You find yourself speechless as you shift your unflinching gaze at him and he at you, your bodies swaying along the concrete and in perfect sync, coincidentally to the sudden change in music from inside, compared to the bittersweet night you had before the day that parted you both. Thin silence hangs in the atmosphere but only because you are looking at each other in a way you never have in your entire lives.

Instinctively, you break your gaze from his and rest your head on his chest, your hair falling into your face as your eyes screw shut. You hear his heart skip a beat, unusually in the same manner yours always has. Feeling your head follow the rise and fall of his chest tickles you inside– temporarily making you forget about the pain of soon letting him go and producing a sense of safety.

Maybe it's because of exhaustion? You wonder. He doesn't hesitate to stroke your hair and revel in the moment as well, easing you in closer to his body without breaking the sway. "You'll be there on my wedding day, right?" He asks nervously, his question pulling you back to the harshest reality.

You open your eyes slowly, your lips trembling as you let out the saddest sigh, feeling your chest tighten from the anxiety of soon telling him the truth.

"Y/N?" Your tensed-up body alarms him and so he breaks away and lifts your chin up lightly, being met with glossy and regretful eyes. His messy brows drawing together in slight worry. "What's wrong?"

Everything.

However uneager to push him away, you do, escaping his warm embrace. "Ben, I..."

He's dreading for your answer, painfully anticipating for the best or the worst to the point where his hands are lubricating with sweat.

You swallow the lump that has hardened in the back of your throat, pressing your lips together to prevent a sob from escaping and shunning his prying stare. "I can't..."

Joe's half-assed predicted, worst case scenario is slowly unfolding.

"What are you saying? You're not- you're not going...to be there?"

You bite down on your lip hard enough to make it swell, shaking your head and casting a sideways glance.

"Why?"

Tell the truth. Just tell him and you're either getting a support or another jab to the heart.

"Y/N, please! Tell me why!"

"I'm leaving, Ben!" The words didn't seem to stumble or carelessly flop from your lips, in fact it speared through him clean thereby catching him off guard. His eyes have fallen gravely, lips parted due to shock.

"I got into a medical school I had previously applied for. And I'm leaving," you snap your eyes shut and open them in tears once you've looked up at him, "on your wedding day."

"Why didn't- why didn't you ever tell me?" He's pleading for your explanation, barely clinging on to the belief that you would always tell him things.

You don't answer as you are battling to muster up the courage to say it.

"Y/N, please! You never tell me anything these days! And this- this news, it's important! You're leaving on the day I need you the most, and you never bothered to squeak a word about it! Not a single, bloody word! Why?!" He's racked up with disbelief and apparently, anger. Eyes rimmed, clouded with mixed emotions and face full-blown red from the pressure.

He grabs you by the shoulders and pleads heartbreakingly, his lively voice reduced to but a whisper. "Why..."

"I-" You're still holding back.

"Say it! "

"You'd soon forget about me, Ben!" You inhale sharply as you add, croaks present in your voice while you take two steps further away from him as you lament. "I'm hopelessly in love with you, you idiot! I've always been. I try- I try to brush off every single prick that stems out every minute I realize that you already belong to someone else..."

"Y/N-"

"I figured not telling you would help me let go. And it's the only way I can...because screw you for being a clueless, irreplaceable bloke! I can't imagine my bloody life without you in it! I don't think I can ever love anybody else...but you, "

"Y/N..."

You don't let him finish and achingly throw your hands to your chest as a gesture, pounding your chest thrice as you're finally wearing your heart on your sleeve. "I can't blame you for being oblivious to my feelings. You're committed to Rosy...and as much as I want to see you happy, I don't want to stand idly by and- and feel this way when you've pledged your heart to her...I want to forget and for you to forget me," As the warm tears you've held back for so long roll down your cheeks, you hug yourself through the pain, "I want you to be happy without worrying how I'd feel. And disappearing from your life, is the only way I know how..."

"Y/N, please, don't say that- don't do this...you can't do this...you c-can't..." With hands shaking, he strides towards you to haul you in back into his arms but you take an agonizing step away, stopping him in his tracks. "I have to. I...I want to. It hurts so much, Ben. It always has but promise me," even if you have taken a step away, you take it upon yourself to take those steps close to him and cup his cheek with a cold hand, "promise me you'll revel in that happiness. It's going to hurt being away from you. But it's going to hurt even more if I stay. And watch...my best friend grow old with someone else." Finally rendering him wordless, you shake your head and whisk past him back into the party which has died down a bit, leaving him a pondering mess out under the bleak sky.

"How could I be happy without you..."

You'd gladly do anything to go back home right now. The weight of what just took place is crushing you and the need to escape is fuming. But the thing is, Ben was never one to let you go easy.

He never did and possibly never will.

He sniffles and inhales sharply, jogging in after you and calling out your name amidst the constant noise and chatters. "Y/N, wait!"

You reach your table just in time to see everyone still gathered around with drinks raised and laughs released but you have to excuse yourself deliberately. "Y/N? Where have you been? What's the rush?" Lucy notices your hastened movement and places her hand on your tense shoulder. You snap your head at her with your purse in your grasp, shaking your head and apologizing that you have to leave, forgetting to rid your eyes of tears; the sight of you amping up Lucy's concern therefore leading you into her embrace. "Oh my god, are you okay? What happened?"

"Y/N!"

Ben's distant but audible voice echoing through the place just sends you panicking inside. "I'm so sorry, Luce. I have to go."

"Y/N, wait! What's wrong?"

Just as the rest could react to Lucy calling out for you and Ben dashing past them to catch up, you've already disappeared into the crowd, headed out the theatre to take a cab ride back to the hotel. Relentless to let you go, Ben follows your trail, spurring a quick frenzy from the rest and having them pursue Ben in return. Once you reach the outskirts of the pavements, you don't think twice before crossing the highway with your focus hardened before you.

Gasping for air upon exiting the theatre, Ben glances around in haste and finally spots you marching down the street oblivious to your surroundings despite treading along the pedestrian lane. His eyes widen in dread and acting on a fight or flight reaction, he yells for your attention as he speeds down the street to pull you in or rather save you from a possibility of getting hurt with all the rushing vehicles and careless drivers. "Y/N! Y/N!"

The boys, Lucy and Rosy arrive outside just in time to witness Ben race towards your direction and in a moment of feeling time slow down, you feel your heart in your throat at the late flash of nearing headlights, to add a heavy force propelling you off your feet and onto the other side of the road. What gets you up from the ground are the mixed screams of a familiar bunch and the sight of a bloodied man in white laying unconscious on the cold surface of the road.

White noise suddenly fills your ears instead of your own voice as you scream out his name.

#borhap #queen #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast #borhap cast x reader #borhap imagine #ben hardy fanfic #imagine #fanfic

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