#with the same boundaries I've had as a person for like a decade

[shaanks]

I love when offers of help are conditional and when the conditions are always always always that you maintain a perfectly pleasant facial expression and tone and temporarily disband all your boundaries and keep your mouth shut when the terms of the help make you feel violated or uncomfortable and when the offers are immediately rescinded and thrown back in your face if you fail to strictly adhere to these guidelines love it love it love it so much

[etoilesbienne]

re: boundaries

I've made many posts previously on this subject already, so people are already aware of my stance regarding disliking the way "boundaries" as a concept are used by the mcyt fandom, however I want to have a brief meditation on why this is the case, and a look at common arguments about them.

however i do want to make clear that i don't mind boundaries as a concept, actual boundaries. as in "if you do x, i will respond with y" kinds of boundaries. I think cc are completely fair and understandable in this kind of perspective. if someone makes a kind of content they dislike, they're free to block that fan or express discomfort over it. That's normal.

my critical eye is turned toward the fandom's perception of "boundaries" as a sort of fandom ruleset, either you follow them with the in-group, or you're thrown in the out-group and labelled all sorts of insults, anywhere from a criminal offender to just having people be plain nasty toward you. this in my opinion, really feeds into the fandom habit of having "cliques" as fandoms are social networks that are voluntarily joined. i find it juvenile at best.

at worst, on the other hand, is the concept of mcyt having mixed in kpop stan culture around 2019 with smplive (great server. horrific fandom at the time it was run. all of the smplive fans still left are veterans worthy of respect for surviving that.), which caused a very explosive mixture.

kpop fandom has this outlook and parasociality toward idols because these idols are borderline unreachable. even in smaller groups, companies generally (not always.) discourage idols from talking one-on-one selectively with fans. there deserves to be a more thorough examination of kpop fandom with stan culture, that i believe i am not fully qualified for. my point is that kpop idols are a hell of a lot harder to reach for english fans, whether through language barrier or through professionality done by companies.

the explosive mixture is bringing this same mentality - the mentality that these people you look toward as the main source of the fandom as being untouchable, perfect people. it's dehumanizing in its own right, but aside from that, it creates a dangerous fandom situation. as best shown using smplive with CallMeCarson from before.

CMC is the origin point of boundaries within the MCYT fandom, having held a live in fall of 2019 talking about how a popular danganronpa themed wattpad smplive fanfiction was upsetting for him to read. CMC had an intense fanbase that could and would look up to him no matter what. of course the fanbase would go after and harass this author off of the internet and deleting their work (which remained lost media until this January of 2024. Almost half a decade.) after this situation, only months later it comes out that CMC had in fact been manipulating women aged 17 to early 20s, into sexual dms and sending him explicit photos of themselves for around a year. i am of the opinion CMC would have done this behavior regardless, however, the fact he had access to so many women who put him on a pedestal without considering he could exploit them was exacerbated by the stan culture mentality of mcyt's fandom at the time. this is not a criticism of the women, it is a criticism of the fandom culture of the time for failing to treat carson as a human being who had every capability to treat people like this.

no cc is exempt from that mentality by the fandom. carson knowingly used his position within the fandom to make the choice to do that to those girls. no cc should be exempt from the real possibility of the consideration that they can fuck up, not always in the way that they necessarily need to be cancelled or deplatformed, carson is an extreme example that is absolutely not representative of cc as a whole, but there needs to be a healthy level of doubt and separation between creators and fans.

to reiterate: cc are not your friends. cc do not need you to speak for them. you do not know these people personally. to present your defense of them and their personal opinions like you spoke to them directly and are close friends is dangerous, both for yourself, and for other fans in the community.

everything i have listed is why i always will be critical toward any fan group or clique that presents themselves as being pillars of the community, and why i am critical of any page or resource that tries to list "boundaries" as hard fast rules to be self policed by the fandom. not only is that punitive mentality, it's careless and poor understanding of how communities at large work.

i don't think a "boundaries" list is necessarily a bad idea in the long run either, if these lists were, like, compilations of streamers' twitch chat rules, that'd be cool! but generally these lists lack any nuance of why and where some boundaries may apply. like a ton of streamers hate ships being spammed in chat, but could give less of a fuck about people making ship fanart. or like wouldn't care as long as the ship art isn't put in their main tag.

as well as the general ignoring of regular boundaries, we all remember the horror show of people dono-ing to cc in 2020-22 asking for their boundaries right? like just so we're explicitly clear, walking up to someone and asking what someone's opinion of making adult content of them is very much sexual harassment. that's objectively something fans should not be asking to cc. if they want to say something, they can speak up on their own. they do not need your prompting. if you wouldn't ask it to your boss in an office, don't ask cc it. tangentially related is the ignoring of boundaries based on disliking fans harassing each other or other cc. those boundaries never get to be prioritized for a reason, as those behaviors feed into the stan culture mentality of pitting sources against each other in fan wars.

parasociality and stan culture turn mcyt fandom into a power vacuum where fans who like to self-police to a dangerous extent try to take charge. this makes the fandom worse.

[tobiasdrake]

Inspired by some recent posts: What are your thoughts on people shipping Bulma and Goku?

Oh, my feelings on that ship are complicated.

I actually used to like that ship when I was younger. I've always been a fan of ships between characters who genuinely enjoy each other's company and work together to solve problems with minimal friction. When I was growing up, the go-to for canon ship writing was tension. Two characters are in tension with one another until they admit their true feelings and fall in love.

You could see it in anime with ships like Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo who absolutely, violently hate each other's guts 98% of the time but then occasionally are sweet together so you know they're really deeply in love. Japan loved tsundere romances back in the day. They were everywhere.

And you could see it in Western media like Han Solo and Leia Organa, where Han behaves as an aggressive sexual predator despite Leia's clear rebukes of his advances and it's supposed to be romantic because she's secretly in love with him the whole time.

80's and 90's Hollywood was all about women "playing hard to get". The cultural idea was that "No" means "Keep asking, big boy; I love it when you push my boundaries." Decades later it turned out a lot of people in Hollywood were sexual predators. Imagine that.

And I never really liked any of it. I wanted to see romances between characters who love and cherish each other, and make each other stronger through their mutual connection. I didn't want shows full of Shinji and Asuka romances, I wanted shows full of Frodo and Samwise romances.

This, I think, is why a lot of same-sex ships took off back in the day too; Heroes, especially male heroes, love nobody half as much as they love the best friend who fights by their side. They'll dump their girlfriends on the side of the road to go gallivanting off on a new adventure but they are ride-or-die for their bestie.

And I just. I couldn't help but look at that dynamic and ask, "How come the ride-or-die bestie that the hero's forever loyal to and whose emotional bond takes up half the story, isn't the love interest?" So, like a lot of people, I start shipping those dynamics over the canon ships.

Goku and Bulma aren't really ride-or-die besties. I mean, on Bulma's side, they are. But Goku's the kind of person who goes no contact with everyone for five years without notice and then shows up like "Hey guys, check out this cool technique I learned." Not out of malice or anything; That's just how he is. It's a special event any time you even get to see him. He has no ride-or-die bestie. He lives entirely in the moment.

But back in the day, when I didn't really know Goku or Bulma that well beyond what the dub was doing with Z, they seemed like they fit that mold. And I was about it.

These days, I have a much firmer grasp on the characters and I cannot imagine any version of a Goku and Bulma relationship that wouldn't feel skeevy and predatory on Bulma's part.

With Chi-Chi, there's the context that Chi-Chi's as much of a dimwitted naive backwoods hick as Goku is, so they mutually dumbassed themselves into a domestic situation neither truly understood. Bulma doesn't have that defense. She's cunning, well-educated, and extremely socially aware.

If Bulma and Goku had gotten together instead of Chi-Chi and Goku, it would have felt like Bulma taking advantage of Goku's naivety; Especially when that's literally something she tried to do the first day they ever met.

If Goku were a character that was more socially aware and, y'know, actually interested in romance at all, that would be a different story. But as it is, for both the integrity of the characters and their fantastic relationship with one another? I do think it's probably best that Goku was already spoken for before he became hot enough for Bulma to start considering him as a Himbo Arm-Candy upgrade from Yamcha. (Which she briefly did.)

[undomesticated-animal]

Regarding this post

I'm circling back to this because I've actually been getting the hang of this whole self reflection thing (a little bit) lately.

So like. I don't handle vulnerability well. But my threshold for what is "vulnerable" lies A LOT farther in than most people realize, so they tend to experience me as confident, assertive, and open, even (especially?) when I am actively being the opposite. This can lead to a LOT of confusion from people in my life when I do things like share deeply personal information, fuck them, and otherwise "get intimate" only to suddenly start acting fully fucking insane* when something innocuous happens like someone casually referring to me as their partner.

*I don't actually feel like I should have to say this, but I don't want to get any language policing on my use of this word. I am using it deliberately and with all the same contextual awarenesses with which I call myself things like "dyke" and "tranny" and "slut". When I say that I am "acting fully fucking insane" I mean that I usually start experiencing all the hallmarks of an actual psychotic and/or hypomanic episode and these are NAMED and LIFELONG experiences I have come to understand about myself. They are protective, irrational trauma responses that do not help me to rationalize away or ignore or justify.

I could probably write thousands of words on the role of trauma in changing our relationships with the concept of boundaries such that those of us who have been deeply traumatized to really struggle with the idea of what is and isn't "appropriate" to say or do, but Imma try and narrow the scope here. This is still gonna get long so stick with me if you can.

I have been able to name a lot more things from my childhood as "inappropriate" lately. And the outcome is also having a genuinely easier time tolerating the "appropriate" stuff without getting panicky. I'm starting to realize how much of my life was lived in silent fear of other people's inappropriate behavior.

For years I had an "excessive and irrational fear" of public restrooms that was so bad I would wet myself well into my teens. No one in my family, including myself, could understand why it was happening. And then today, as I was talking with a friend about some stuff (both related and unrelated to my freak out today) I had the sudden realization "hey it's actually really traumatizing for a small child to regularly experience verbal and physical abuse from adults immediately upon entering a public restroom with their caregiver because both the caregiver and child have mixed sex characteristics, and actually maybe being terrified of public bathrooms for 20years after that is EXTREMELY RATIONAL ACTUALLY". And that's a new thought to have. The memories aren't new tbc, I have been fully aware of (and frequently have flashbacks to) this part of my life the whole time. But it had been slotted into the "normalized inappropriate behavior" part of my brain and this has apparently stopped me FOR DECADES from acknowledging how fucked up that was and how understandable my phobia actually was, let alone begin to identify why the phobia has lessened (it is still present and pressing, but it is no longer debilitating).

And it sounds different at first but it really ISN'T different. When someone expresses and acknowledges real care for me, I go fucking rabid. Not feral, not quirky, not a lil fucked. I lose my whole ass entire mind and burn the world to the ground around me. I usually describe it as my "climbing the walls escape instinct" because that's the best language I've ever had. You know that Saturday morning cartoon gag where a character gets so scared they try to climb up a wall, fall to the floor dead, and then their ghost runs away screaming? It's like that, only the thing that scared me is (as a random non-specific example) someone showing me that they have taken the time to understand and learn me as a person.

It sounds cliche, and maybe it is, but when you learn that the people who hurt you most will often do so while actively loving you in ways that can make you feel so seen for the heartbeat it takes for them to harm you with that recognition, it is easy to internalize the idea that someone who can Really See You is an existential threat that must be escaped at all costs.

So when someone sees me so clearly they offer me the space to Really Be Seen by more than one person at a time? When a friend of someone who acts with care towards me ALSO reflects that care? Well, that's just about the goddamn limit ain't it folks?

My point is, the thing that scared me today was NOT that someone might See Me and choose to hurt me for it. It was that someone Might Love What They Saw. And woof. What an idea to sit with in yourself.

[melmedarda]

Another narcissistic!Ambessa truther. An individual of taste.

Honestly, unless you've lived under a narcissistic parent, you don't understand the intricacies of the Mel x Ambessa dynamic. That innate knowledge that nothing you do, no matter your level of success in life, it'll never be enough to please your parent. That if you have siblings, they'll always love your sibling more.

The constantly moving goal posts. Oh, you're the wealthiest in Piltover? You're still not as rich as your family in Noxus. Ambessa is such an efficient manipulator and triangulator, it's ridiculous. And you really see it with how she had Caitlyn in a chokehold in season 2. Turned that girl every which way but loose.

Oh, and the lack of boundaries with your kid because they're an extension of you, not their own person. That scene where Ambessa talks to Jayce naked in her bathroom is absolute crazy work in every sense. Because why are you, as a grown woman, cool with talking to your daughter's "man who's not really her man" in such a state? Jayce was visibly uncomfortable, but Ambessa just kept going. I feel like people don't understand or appreciate how unhinged that whole scene was.

Mel is better than me because hands would have gotten thrown just for that bit of violation on its own. Rolling up to your kid's home after over a decade has passed (and you haven't checked in with her at any point) and expecting a warm welcome, then calling her dramatic when she calls you out on your nonsense........nah,bruh. Mel should have gone off on her.

(Mel was probably grey-rocking Ambessa, to be fair to her. But still. Someone in that writer's room has to have experience with a narcissistic parent because that shit was written way too realistically.)

I've had to deal with narcissistic relatives and they are so difficult to coexist with because they demand better of you and constantly criticize, but you can never be better than them at the same time. I don't know and cannot pretend to understand.

The scene with Jayce and Ambessa, it was a power move, as subversion and flipping of stereotypical gender roles in such a scenario. It was insane, frankly, and It was a battle, one Jayce won for that moment, only to lose everything in the end, essentially.

And Mel DID come after her mother, telling her to stay away from Jayce. And Ambessa didn't even let her get a word in. Shut her down and told her get it together, I raised you better. Shut that entire conversation down by appealing to Mel's emotions, which made her unsteady and eventually forget about the reason she had come to upbraid her mother in the first place. Ambessa's sooooo interesting, I really want to dissect her mind. I cannot WAIT to read her book because I need to understand how she got to be this way.

[allianettemie5]

Honestly, if any CC reads this I will have my goal achieved, so proceed

Warning: about CCs and fanfiction, so to those who can be triggered, pls skip this

I hail from a big streamer-based fandom, a place that had apologists, haters, and those who tried their best to be within everyone's boundaries of privacy; there were a lot of artists and writers there, excellent ones, who could rival published authors tbh. I am in awe of many of them. I mostly stayed out of any controversies, though they naturally were bound to find me in whatever corner of the world I was hiding. Privacy breaches, a lot of dirty clothes being dug out, CC targeting, mental illnesses, fans being unable to separate characters from content creators, and more. It's disgusting

I went to among us streamers in search for idk maybe more mature vibe, and I thought I found peace for just a short while. But lobby slot arguments, people not clicking with each other, that even led to shouting matches, bringing the group mood down. It was exhausting. The fandom was as creative, less explosive but was new, inconsistent and shaky, and it seemed that nobody knew each other

I don't see that much in PR1 streaming group and PR2 community. I enjoy talking to people that hang out here and enjoy the same things that I enjoy in a similar way that I do, and they are all just wonderful, just amazing, and fun, and crazy, and insane (in the best way possible). There is peace between CCs and fans, both sides addressing the bad things that happen in the fullest once, just once, and that is always enough for the both sides to keep the matter quiet and just keep up the positivity and mutual understanding

However

The recent events (that were basically just a sum up of several events prior to that, and it started way back a decade ago) actually rose a serious concern, that I was really hesitant to address, but it's that time I guess (yt "we have to talk" thumbnail)

I have not encountered online bullying directed at myself yet, and I hope I'll never have to, and I wish that my fellow PR2 people will not experienced that in the future

I know what irl bullying is though, I've experienced it first hand. I know what it is like to be hated and publicly laughed at because of being different. I know what it feels like to hear slurs and hate-talk about yourself and those who are very close to you from such a prejudiced point of view

I just escaped all of that. I have enclosed myself within a tiny space, consisting of only those who I want to speak to, those who I enjoy listening to, topics I feel safe reading and not going to lose my last nerves on

I'll say this once, and will not make another tumblong on this topic

If an abstract CC wants to read fanfiction sooooo fucking badly, they should

Suck it up and make an account, fucking coward

ASK THE AUTHOR FOR PERMISSION YOU ASS

Do not make fun of a real living person because they do what they enjoy for their friends to read

Do not make content of other people's hard work in a disrespectful way

Do not FUCKING STREAM reading the fanfic without EXPLICIT PERMISSION from the author

Imagine if the developers of a game, that you enjoy playing a lot and create playthroughs and guides and theory and lore exploration videos, come across your content and start yelling in their twits how fucking dumb you are, omg we can't believe that someone would in their right mind create these, LLOOOOOOOLLLLL WHAT AN IDIOT, what would you feel? You go to your comments and see haters and insults and you receive messages that you're a disgusting person and should stop doing whatever you were doing, what would you do? How would you respond?

If certain CCs don't learn that boundaries go both ways they can very well expect their fans number decreasing in a rapid rate

[ranwing]

Hi.

Sorry if this question is of no interest to you or if it bothers you, but I would like to ask for your opinion on JA. Has your view of him changed over time, and if so, why?

Personally, my opinion of him has changed, but I wouldn’t say for the better. Many of his actions have diminished the image I had of him. I’m interested in your perspective because I read your blog and find your insights very relevant.

I'm not going to lie - how he handled The Winchesters and blindsiding Jared really did bother me. Perhaps he thought that he had no legal obligation to tell Jared since Jared was not involved with the project, and if Jared had been nothing more than his coworker, I might buy that. But these were men who had worked together on the same show for over a decade. They expressed repeatedly that they were not just coworkers, but "brothers". They even stood up for one another at their mutual weddings, vacationed together and their kids saw the other man as an honorary uncle.

So to not give Jared a heads up that an announcement was coming and having him find out that a spinoff of the show that he had devoted all of his adult life to was 1) not going to have him or his character involved, 2) would have his former castmate/partner and his character featured and 3) that he would find out via the official announcement instead of someone he considered his close friend telling him that he was working on the show really irked me. It was unprofessional and disrespectful and ended up poisoning the SPN fandom (even more than it usually is) by turning off half the potential audience before the show even aired. It was the ultimate unforced error and proved that Jensen (along with his wife and whatever team they had at their production company) were incompetent.

But it also showed that Jensen was selfish. He was willing to backstab his "brother" for his own advancement. Jared was moving on from SPN and Jensen's career was stagnating at the time. Jensen needed Kripke to give him a job afterwards (which fortunately got him some traction at Amazon), but Jared was making his way on his own. I don't think that Jensen ever really got over Jared being first in credits and on the call sheet, Sam being the central character on the show (even when the writers were bending over backwards to give Dean focus), and Jared having the luxury of being able to walk away from SPN when he was done. I don't blame Jared for his initial response, and I don't doubt that Jensen had to do a lot of apologizing. It would have been understandable if Jared held a grudge and the fact that they are on good terms now is more due to Jared being a decent person than Jensen.

I like the Jensen that we see when he's with Jared. When he can be funny and charming and knows where the boundaries of good behavior are. But when he was doing promo for The Winchesters, his solo con appearances or when he appears with Misha, we see a side of him that I don't like very much. So I'm left wondering which is the real Jensen.

And it doesn't help that Jensen has one of the nastiest fanbases that I've seen in a long time. I can't hold that totally on Jensen, and people are entitled to have their favorites, but Jensen's are in another league. They actively wanted to see Jared diminished in order to elevate Jensen. Some even wished Jared physical harm. And Jensen never called out the worst of the toxicity aimed at Jared.

This does have me rather sad, because I really did think that Jared and Jensen would be those inseparable friends who met at work and stayed close afterwards. I think that they're still friends, but not in the way they had been in the past. Part of that natural, but it's pretty obvious to me that Jared has put up boundaries where they weren't before. Jensen proved that he cannot be trusted. He screwed over his "brother" and I can never ignore that.

I hope that both of them find success in their careers moving forward, but I know that I will only be following one of them and seeking out his work, and it won't be Jensen.

[wheelin-after-midnight]

30.

What was the last thing you laughed at?

The way Nippy was looking at me while I was talking to her.

How many times have you visited the beach in your lifetime?

Once or twice.

Do you know anyone personally who has committed murder?

No.

Do you use temper glass phone screen protectors?

No.

Have you ever cracked your phone screen badly?

This actually just happened yesterday. I set my tablet down quickly where I thought it would be fine for a second, but it fell face down and now the screen is super cracked. I was looking into potentially getting a new tablet soon anyway, but I didn't really want to have to do it during Christmas season. :(

Would you ever take up pole dancing as a hobby? I would if I were physically capable of doing it, but I'm not.

What is one of your most prized possessions?

Nippy. Any of my Nan's paintings that I have. The jewelry she gave me.

Do you find commercials/ads to be amusing or just annoying?

Often they're both.

Do you enjoy taking late night drives?

I can't drive, but I enjoy late night drives with Brittany. Super fun.

Do you prefer incense, candles, or something else for making your house smell nice?

My Scentsy wax warmer, if anything.

How many pets/children do you have?

One cat. No kids. Want them, can't have them.

Have you ever accidentally stolen something?

Nah.

What was the last thing you needed help with?

Figuring out why half the lights in my apartment stopped working when the breakers were fine and the bulbs had been recently changed and weren't even looking burnt.

What's the most expensive article of clothing you own?

The bridesmaid's dress I wore to my sister's wedding was just under $200.

What's one of your favorite memories from your childhood?

Pa building me a bike I could pedal with my hands and he and Nan surprising me with it. I went into more detail about it a few surveys ago. #27 maybe? Y'all can go back and find it if you feel like reading more about that.

What seems like a cult to you but isn't one?

The way some people go so hard for celebrities that they like and start throwing boundaries out the window, refusing to see them as real, human people with the same emotions as everyone else, deserving of privacy and normalcy.. It's very weird.

What do you do when you start to feel depressed or really down?

I sleep a lot more. Cry a lot. I withdraw even more. Don't eat enough, or at all.

Do you keep your nails manicured?

Hah, no. I can't afford to.

When was the last time you checked your mail?

Not for a bit. I have to have someone go to my box and bring it to me and our postal service was on strike, so.

Do you do positive affirmations daily?

No. I try to remind myself of good things and to be kind to myself, but I have a harder time following through some days.

What time did you wake up this morning?

I first woke up at 10 but then went back to bed.

Do you like lemon with your tea?

When I'm sick.

Do you know anyone with the name Andrew?

An old friend's son, but I don't talk to or hang out with her anymore.

Are you a sensitive person?

Soooooo deeply sensitive.

Do you know any of your neighbors well?

A couple. I've been here over a decade so have had a lot of turnover with who the neighbors on my floor are. A bunch of us used to sit in the hallway and talk and drink during the covid shutdown when everybody was home. They were very kind to me at a very vulnerable time when my Nan had just died. There's still a couple living here from that time. I'm not friends with them, but I'll never forget how they treated me when others who should have been there never even checked on me, pretended my grief wasn't happening, and ignored when I needed them.

Have you ever received a traffic ticket?

No.

Do you enjoy glitter or find it to be a nuisance?

Both. It's pretty, but omg, it's such a mess and gets everywhere.

Would you ever want to be a politician?

I used to think about it. To try to help the disabled population. But no. No matter my intentions when starting out, I don't want the world of politics to end up corrupting me.

Have you ever been into Pokémon? If so, what's your favorite?

No, but I like pikachu. He's cute.

What's your favorite soup?

All the vegetarian ones I made when I ate that way. So good. I love homemade soup.

What color reminds you of the week you've had so far?

Blue-grey.

Chinese or Mexican food? What's your favorite dish?

Mexican. Burritos or burrito bowls.

Have you ever seen a wolf in person?

I don't think so.

Are you currently doing something else besides this survey?

Thinking about how I'm gonna shower and clean Nip's boxes after I'm finished.

Do you get annoyed by repetitive questions?

Occasionally.

What's the fastest you've ever driven?

I can't drive.

Have you ever listened to Tim McGraw?

Absolutely.

What's the last thing you lit on fire?

Nothing.

Do you still watch American Idol?

Just the auditions, if I happen to catch some of them.

What's your favorite things about life?

Not a whole hell of a lot right now. I'm terrified of the upcoming complete upending of everything and I'm having a really hard time with it. My cat, music, my girlfriend, good coffee, and my favourite foods are things that see me keep putting one foot in front of the other as much as possible, though.

What is your favorite emoticon?

🥰😂😘😈🥹😭🤣🫠🤦🏻‍♀️☺️ Are the ones I use the most.

When was the last time you had to replace the batteries in something?

I've used rechargeable batteries for years. Much easier since I can't get to the store on my own. Less waste.

Have you ever seen a street name that was funny or a town name?

Not that I can remember, but every time we go down a street with my given name while driving, my friends look at me and go "we're on your street."

Do you like to watch anime?

No.

Do you ever drink energy drinks?

Only the Starbucks or Starbucks double shot ones, and not very often.

How many surveys have you created?

None.

Do you just enjoy taking them?

Well, yeah.

What type of cell phone do you own? Do you like it?

None. I've a home phone and a tablet.

What's your plans for the rest of the day?

Shower, clean Nip's boxes, feed her again, vacuum, do some dishes, talk to babe, listen to an audiobook, put something on to fall asleep to.

[mysticdoodles]

FABLEHAVEN AUDIOBOOK ON YOUTUBE??

I'm screaming and crying and laughing my crops are growing my skin is clear my aching bones are healed of creaking- ya'll my inner child hasn't been this happy in years.

Deep Voice Narrator, I would like to personally shake your hand and treat you to a coffee as thanks for this wonderful gift you've given me.

I've had my (positive) rant post about Fablehaven on Tumblr for a literal decade and every now and then it gets some note traffic, but for the longest time I was convinced I was the only kid on earth who ever read the dang books. I was so sad that, in the wake of Jerk Kraven Rowling's bulldozing of fantasy media franchises at the time with the release of the HP movies, nobody would ever pick up these books. They were overlooked, tossed aside for the hot new films made for the fantasy series Harry Potter, and forgotten by everybody except the few folks who bothered to pick up the interesting covers or were gifted copies for their birthdays. I was among the latter, and god as my witness I would not be the same person I am today if not for these novels. I still have all five novels with the original covers, and they're among my most cherished possessions.

Are they perfect? No, they're products of their time and have some flaws. They're the first book series ever penned by Brandon Mull, who would go on to write and complete many more fantasy book series, but for his maiden voyage into writing, they're incredible! The flaws are nowhere near the level of some of the BS that Just Kidding Rowling pulled in HP.

Do they still slap severely and commit really fucking hard to the fantasy? YES. A MILLION TIMES YES.

And you have seen fit to gift the world with a digestible audiobook format I can send to my friends who are unable to purchase the books, that also serves as a giant middle finger to Amazon. I could kiss you, but I'm ace and respect boundaries, so I will instead grab you by the shoulders and shake you vigorously like a maraca. And you're doing ALL FIVE BOOKS-

EVERYBODY READING THIS POST- GO READ FABLEHAVEN OR LISTEN TO THESE WONDERFUL AUDIOBOOKS BY DEEP VOICE NARRATOR, AND COMMUNICATE TELEPATHICALLY WITH ME ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL ABOUT HOW INTENSELY THESE BOOKS SLAP. I HAVE INCLUDED LINKS TO BOTH THE PLAYLIST AND DPN'S YOUTUBE, YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOW.

I know Tumblr's gonna nuke this post from search bars due to the external links, please spread the word of this audiobook I'm begging-

[give-soup-please]

I'm asking for a sibling but, do you know any red flags in therapists to watch out for? Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable-

it doesn't make me uncomfortable, but it isn't always the best to seek advice like this from a blog on tumblr. generally, information seeking like this should be taken to professionals and adults you trust. that being said, in the past decade i've made my way through 7+ therapists and have been seeing my current therapist for more than 3 years, so i do have some things to say on the subject. i'll break this up into two categories- ethical and personal. ethical being the big, far reaching stuff involving the law, and personal being the things that i've learned through experience as being a bad sign. i recognize this is for a sibling, but for ease of writing, i'll be using the pronoun 'your'. and keep in mind that for the personal stuff, that these issues are complex and nuanced, and my experience won't be everyone's.

ethical:

lack of privacy - if your therapist spills the beans to someone about your personal problems without your consent, that's a big red flag. this is a little complicated if you're a minor, as parents think they have a right to know, and some therapists may tell and some won't, depending on their personal style. but if they go, 'oh yeah, i was talking to my non fellow professional buddy joe about your situation', that's generally a red flag

sexual advances - should be obvious. a therapist has a unique role of power in their client's life, and it shouldn't be abused. any sexual advances or desires for a romantic relationship are forbidden by their code of ethics. red flag if they express an interest in these things.

'multiple relationships' - by this, i mean a therapist shouldn't generally be seeing you outside their work or be in a relationship type with you that would get in the way of their work. this can be complicated because the nature of therapy from my experience is that they're closer than a professional friend but more distant than a regular friend. the explanation i use is that i like my therapist and enjoy the work we do together, but i wouldn't invite him out for coffee to gossip about the neighbors. there are certain boundaries that we both abide by.

lack of consent/informed consent - a therapist should give people information enough to make an informed decision about the course of their treatment. if they don't do this, that's a red flag.

lying about their experiences - putting those under the same category. if they're lying about where they got their degree from or their experience, run. that's a major red flag.

if you want more details on any of these things, look up their code of ethics and give it a read, they explain the law better than i can. but this is a generalized crash course of the biggest things in there.

personal:

this is stuff that isn't against the law, but should still be watched out for:

'only one solution' - i once had a psychologist tell me that only medication would fix my problems. and that talk therapy did nothing. this is... blatantly false. talk therapy takes time and effort, but it's not 'worse than useless' as she suggested. i dropped her after our first session. because why would i go to a psychologist to talk, if she believes that talking doesn't help? in general terms, the human brain is complicated, trauma is complicated, and the path to healing isn't easy. if a therapist tries to take your options away, or suggest that their path is the only path you can take to being better, be wary. there are multiple techniques therapists use, and some will be better than others, but if they're proposing 'my way or the highway'... that's bad. there is no one size fits all in these circumstances.

leaving your sessions in a bad place emotionally. this one is kind of complicated, but my current therapist does his best to make sure we don't end on a sour note in our session. due to the nature of the work we do, this is sometimes inevitable. but if you're leaving every session feeling worse than when you went in, and your therapist opens up (or lets you open up) big topics within the last ten minutes of a session, and doesn't close them off so you can function for the rest of the day, that's bad. generally, me and my therapist have an unspoken rule that the last ten minutes of any session coming back to a more stable place before we part ways. you don't cut someone's skin open to remove an abscess, and then shrug your shoulders five minutes later and say 'we'll take care of this next week.' again, not always avoidable, but if every session finishes like that, be wary. an example of what my therapist does would be what happened about seven months ago. we explored some new topics, i talked about some stuff that i hadn't mentioned before that was... exceptionally dark. i'm pretty open about my experiences on tumblr, but there are things that happened to me that i don't even talk to friends about. point being, we processed through some stuff together, and then in the last ten minutes, my therapist told me a story that involved his dog eating an entire plateful of broccoli off the dining room table when his back was turned, and how terrible the dog's farts smelled for the rest of the day. i, being a connoisseur of lowbrow humor, laughed until i cried. it was a fantastic and hilarious way to lighten the mood, and helped me regain my balance before i had to move on to the rest of my day. there are many examples i have of this, but that one sticks out the most. again, there are some sessions you'll leave feeling like shit. but if stuff's getting brought up last minute that's not addressed, bad sign.

not letting a client get a word in edgewise. - seems obvious, doesn't it? i had a therapist who would not shut up, and i left his sessions about 30-40 minutes later than the standard time. he didn't have that many clients, so he had extra time for individual people, but it was him talking the entire time and giving me his opinion after i'd describe the problem in one sentence. not a good therapist. dropped him pretty quickly.

not letting a client lead the session - if a therapist says, 'we are going to talk about this today' and you say you don't want to, and the therapist tries to put pressure on you to talk about something you clearly aren't ready to talk about, BAD SIGN. it may not seem obvious, but a client is and should always be in control of how a session goes. a therapist should never demand a session be taken in a particular direction, and they shouldn't put a crap ton of pressure on you to talk about a subject if you're not ready to or don't have the energy to tackle it. there may be times when they gently nudge you to talk more about something, especially if it is important, but a client is always the one in control and makes the final decision. if a therapist tries to take that away from you, that's bad. it's also bad if they never let you take an easy day or acknowledge your desire for a break from heavy topics.

yeah, the reason i've had more than 7 therapists in the past decade is because i am exceptionally picky. and i have the right to be, considering the work i'm doing. i hope this helps.

[kentuckycaverats]

being emo about what a difference del's made in my life, word vomit below the cut so i don't clog the dash.

i've talked about this a wee bit on here, but after my first couple of years getting into ttrpgs i realized that i kept accidentally putting pieces of my soul into my pcs and having surprise Realizations over the course of the game(s), so i decided to start doing it on purpose

i built del very intentionally to have like, all of my childhood-adolescent trauma. the details are all greatly exaggerated but are rooted in the same feelings: not being allowed to have boundaries, not being allowed to make my own choices, being denied autonomy, being openly gay and trans in a conservative christian town, intimate partner abuse, suicidality. the fujinamis are (very loosely) based on my own parents and the tsugas are the parents i wish i'd had. sabina is not-so-loosely based on my abusive ex

but del is unlike me in every other way. she can stand up for herself, she can set and enforce boundaries, she's strong-willed and physically capable, afraid of nothing, and genuinely can't be fucked to care what anyone thinks of her. traits that i don't have but desperately wish that i did. i figured that if i could develop and play a character who emulates those things, then hey, look, those exist in me too, because del can't exist without me. my therapist has been a huge proponent of this and has helped me to utilize del as a therapeutic tool, and boyyyy has it worked. with the combination of EMDR + delphine, i've made crazy progress just in this last year

last night my partner and i were talking to his best friend and ended up on the topic of first relationships, and she wanted to know about my abusive ex. and like. she's haunted me for over a decade. it used to be that i couldn't think or talk about what she did to me without violently dissociating and triggering nightmares about her. but it doesn't hurt me to talk about anymore? she sucks ass and she's the worst person i ever met in my life, but i'm not afraid of her anymore. and i credit like 50% of that to therapy/EMDR and the other half to del game

because del has gotten to face and defeat sabina twice: first in backstory, in which del diablerized her and ended up with sabina's consciousness kicking around in her head, then again with tara and the coterie by her side as she killed her for good. when we were going into that session my therapist had a hunch that being rid of sabina in-game would help me get past the last big block from my own abuser, and she was right. i didn't notice it right away, but even when she does show up in my dreams (and she did last night, like she usually does when i talk about her) they aren't nightmares anymore. she's there and i'm annoyed mostly, but not afraid. i can tell her no and tell her to fuck off and instead of the big looming figure she used to be in my brain she's just a pathetic asshole who can't reach me anymore

my therapist says all the time that the brain processes fiction and reality the same way, emotionally-speaking, and we joke about ttrpg as group therapy but it really has been. and so much of that credit goes to our st who's (1) brilliant (2) so cognizant of telling trauma stories in a safe and respectful way and (3) has a window into my soul i guess?? he knows i'm plural but the del/aelsidhe arc was a complete surprise to me, and oddly enough comes like, scary close to paralleling the relationship between myself (del as proxy) and the host before me (aelsidhe as proxy) who i was supposed to protect from our ex. i couldn't have come up with a more fitting arc for del if i'd tried

anyway. tl;dr - healing is stored in the fighty little cockroach lesbian and she will always be so so special to me

[light-of-delphi]

Hi! I'm sorry if this sounds a bit weird, but I just read your post about Apollo worship and saw that you're open to questions, so I came over to ask, since I really don't know anyone else who can guide me. Please feel free to ignore if this looks too long or makes you uncomfortable.

I'm of a different faith that works with both polytheism and agnosticism/atheism. A few months ago I read a bunch of stuff about Apollo and got absolutely obsessed with him, but in a obsession-with-a-fictional-character way. I started staying up at night to read up about him, searched for literally any scrap of info about him, made up stories and scenarios about him and his lovers in my head, and at this point I have memorized nearly all his powers and epithets. I started wearing gold jewellery (which I previously did not like) and got myself a golden snake ring. Then a few nights ago a mouse showed up in my house (we've never had them in the near decade we lived here) and it was gone by morning.

At this point I was convinced he was smacking me on the face with symbolism so I went to an online tarot card deck, because that seems to be something hellenistic devotes do a lot. I asked him if he was trying to talk to me. He gave me two yes's and also justice, wheel of fortune and the sun.

However, I am devoted to quite a few of deities of my own faith, and while it's kind of casual, I am not going to give them up. I know they won't mind, but is it okay to work with Apollo along with them? Will he mind that, especially since I think of him more as a fictional-friend than a god? Or are these coincidences and I'm making up stuff in my head? My country has next to no hellenistic pagans, and most plant-based things that he seems to like- laurel, bay, cypress etc, or the crystals, are not really found here. If I do worship him, do I also need to try and find these items?

Hi hello! Thank you for reaching out :) I've got a few things to say that I hope help you out, lets get the ball rolling.

Firstly, I love hearing that you've done so much research on him! It's an amazing start to get familiar with any deity, so it's an amazing start. In terms of the pantheons or deities you work with, it would not hurt to check in with those who you already work with to assess boundaries and check in with them. They may give you some personal guidance that I cannot provide.

Trust your intuition on this. If you think he is reaching out, check in with your divine team and go from there! And as far as Apollo's concerns, I doubt he'd mind. In the past, I've worked with angels and demons and Norse Gods while working with Apollo. Worst case, you'll just have to come up with boundaries. Work out things like who can be in the space together at the same time, who shouldn't be sharing spaces, and boundaries like this.

And Apollo, for the most part, loves the fictional depictions of himself. He sees it as a form of devotion and recognition of who he is. So I wouldn't be worried about that part. If you see him as a fictional-friend, if you do pursue a bond with him, you can talk to him about that and work it out with him personally!

You don't need all of the things I listed in my post to worship him. I don't currently have access to anything but Bay leaves to honor him. You can honor him with any yellow, orange, or white flower you may associate with him, or honestly any plant you personally associate with Apollo. My post was just a strict look at facts, it's fully up to you to decide what you want to devote and offer to him.

I really do hope this was helpful, and please feel free to reach out again if you have further questions! My inbox is open! Blessed be, and may the sun be your guide. A domani!

[thevirgodoll]

Hi dear, I hope that you are having a beautiful day.

I really want to get your side on this; so I'm depressed and I'm also an overachiver. I've had depression for about 2 years but it has only crossed the boundaries of my head about three months ago when I got rejected from my dream uni and since then my grades have gone downhill and so have both my mental and physical health. I'm lost (because I missed a goal I had been preparing for for almost a decade lmao) but at the same time the I'm getting so close to hitting rock bottom that I'm relived to have a new and healthier beginning.

For the last few years I've dedicated all my time, efforts and headspace to school. It's my senior year yet I barely have friends, non school related job experience, I even lost the ability to sleep at some point. It's been ages since I've bought clothes, I look extra sloppy all the time and I never go out.

I've learnt a lot through this experience but since it's not going my way, I need to keep moving.

Any advice?

Love you and your blog <333

Navigating Depression while in College

This won't be a Doll Diaries for now but I will create one later.

I appreciate you sharing this with me and want to commend you on still trying and even recognizing that something needs to change. I also want to say that something like this isn't your fault and is a completely normal experience. I think a lot of people overlook the mishaps that can happen in college if depression isn't handled...because we are all so goal oriented, the ugly side of it gets pushed down and creates a loop of inadequacy.

Rejection is a typical part of your 20s...I'm still learning how to deal with it myself. I don't know everything, I'm still in my 20s as well.

I do believe, though, that everything happens for a reason and that something I wanted that I didn't get isn't a rejection but a redirection to something greater.

I completely relate to being in a rut and having health issues impact your college career. I have multiple chronic illnesses. I also have severe depressive episodes and ADHD. I've also had times where I wasn't able to make the best grades in the world.

What got me together was:

going to see a therapist (my school offers it for free)

learning that meds was a good option for me (it isn't for everyone, but it was for me)

getting diagnosed with mental disorders (helped me understand myself better and give validation to what was going on)

developing a consistent routine in all areas (easier said than done)

learning how to love myself as I am while also knowing things must change and taking accountability

having days where I let myself go and relax instead of being productive 24/7

I'm also in my senior year after losing years my experience due to my health. I had to medically withdraw twice so trust me I get it.

While I've lost time due to my health, I realized I can only control right now. My health problems were a sign to slow down.

Why worry on what could've happened? Thinking anything of that nature is a disservice. Introspection is good, but introspection can become rumination after a while. Learn to have a limit.

I do recommend treating yourself and getting out and doing things. Figure out what style of clothes you want to wear, what hair, etc since that's important to you.

Relearn yourself...ask yourself who you are outside of academia because a lot of people lose themselves in it and then have nowhere to turn once it's beginning to end. Find some professor that you can reach out to and confide in to help you, and if not, there's plenty of resources at your school for your program.

Congratulations on reaching your senior year. Focus on yourself, graduation, and becoming the person you want to be. Everything will happen in its due time, and months from now, you will realize that staying in the moment was all you ever needed to enjoy yourself.

Hope this helps ❤️

[sisterwolfsbane]

MINORS GO AWAY, THIS IS A KINK BLOG

I'm awake, reminiscing on when I realized that I had caught feelings, then shortly after fell in love with my boyfriend. I know he's gonna see this and come up in our Discord server or even this ask box like 'WHAT?' 🤣 I'm sorry, love, bear with me lol.

So, I think it was November or December of 2023, when I first felt something stir. I quickly dismissed it for a few reasons:

One, I was stoned off my ass, and two, it had only been a month or two, since I broke up with my ex of nearly half a decade. It was too soon.

"Huh... Am I feeling attracted to him? ....No, Wolfsbane, you're stoned, go listen to Uncle Acid and The Deadbeats."

Except the feelings didn't fade the next day I was sober. They were still there, even after I took a tolerance break for a good while. And then when I realized I had in fact fallen for him, there would be periods where I'd feel this deep sadness. A longing.

Now, I hear you going, "Sister, why didn't you tell him??"

Because at that time, he still saw me as the sibling friend. (We're not related, at one point in our friendship we referred to each other as siblings)

And I didn't want him to think I was weird or some shit, I didn't want to cross that boundary from friendship to romance. I didn't want to be so quick to confess my feelings. So, I did what I normally do with scary emotions- that I'm now working with my therapist on- bottled it up.

I never said anything for a long time. I thought keeping it inside was the best course of action until, maybe, just maybe, he'd feel the same way, one day.

This didn't exactly work because so many times, the emotion 'leaked out' so to speak. By that I mean, I caught myself staring at any selfies or pics he sent for longer, complimenting what I found the most pretty in said selfie.

And then I did a very millennial thing lol. I know people my age did this on MySpace- and still do it on some platforms.

I started posting bits and pieces of song lyrics to express the now storm of emotions on my old side Tumblr lol. Mainly Sleep Token. (Yes, sweetface, that's what that was >///<)

I started listening to bands like Death Cab For Cutie, and my dramatic, musical theatre ass listened to 'On My Own,' God knows how many times, feeling like Eponine, even though he wasn't in love with someone else sdgffgdfgfg I was an absolute disaster and nobody knew it lol.

Cut to April this year. Around January or February we decided on being platonic partners because we were so close. I still hadn't said anything yet but oh man, it was building.

Around April, we were having another one of our deep talks like we do every so often. It was mainly how we couldn't believe we'd been friends for three years now, and how much the both of us have changed.

At one point, he said he saw myself as more to him than just a platonic or even romantic partner. That his love for me went deeper than that. He saw me as more than just a soulmate too.

(Note at the time, we came into the belief that we were each other's soulmate, due to the circumstances of our friendship. It is not my place to talk about his personal stuff but we believe there was a reason we met for sure.)

I told him, I did too. And that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life without him.

And now we're here. Planning a marriage for when we meet, move in together, and spend more time with each other. We're not going to rush! I don't think I've ever been this happy and nor have I ever felt this way about another person. Not even my ex.

I love him to the moon, back and beyond the farthest reaches.

[princeescaluswords]

I don't necessarily want to give them fuel to the fire but, one of your hot takes has stayed with me for months now. And that is the argument that Deaton being a bad guy is very lazy and caricature-like. At least in the manner that they do it. And I've asked myself well what reason could he be a bad guy? And try as I might there is no reason I can come up with that doesn't instead make Derek the bad guy. Going off of Just Cannon Derek didn't make the best first impression on anyone until season 3. And my question is, if you choose to humor the matter, what reason would you give for Deaton that would actually make him the bad guy that would actually hold weight.

Well, first off, personally, I wouldn't. It might sound like an entertaining exercise, but nothing we do exists in a vacuum. There is no scenario I could conjure, even if I were a 100 times a better writer than I am (which wouldn't be hard), that wouldn't exist within the fandom context. It's inescapable, no matter how many people pretend otherwise, that the products of your mind are produced and received within an established cultural setting. For over a decade, a significant majority of this fandom has indulged in racist resentment toward a black male character because he exhibited the right to pursue his own agenda and maintain his own boundaries, and said agenda was centered on mentoring a Latino lead protagonist and not on any of the white male characters that they preferred. That Teen Wolf wrote Alan Deaton as possessing the same agency as white male characters is a crime for which it will never be forgiven, and even the seemingly innocent of act of imagining unwritten stories where he is the villain feeds this injustice. Period.

I will, however, talk about how it did not need to be this way. If all the stories written by the Teen Wolf fandom -- the ones labeled Untrustworthy Deaton, Dark Deaton, Evil Deaton and the many more which take that as a given but don't bother to give it a proper label -- had been written with the actual purpose of making Deaton a plausible villain and not to salve fandom's indignation, we could have a conversation about it. (I'm not saying that there isn't any well-written Villain Deaton stories, but I haven't found any yet) This is because transforming canon should be a source of endless variation, turning heroes into villains and vice versa, but that transformation, like everything else, can be perverted, especially if the goal is vengeance for an action that exists outside of the narrative itself.

To my mind, I find that transforming a benevolent character like Deaton into a villain requires a fanfiction author to pay attention to three characteristics. (Not strangely at all, I feel that these are important for an original villain as well.)

Motivation: Why does the villain do what they do? When I write, it helps me to think about it in two aspects -- their specific goal in the story and the character flaws that enable it. Teen Wolf was very good at showing both aspects. Peter Hale's specific goal was vengeance, first against the Argents and then against Scott McCall, enabled by his enormous sense of immoral entitlement. (That's why I don't buy his Season 6 rehabilitation, because while his specific goals changed, his entitlement did not vanish). Gerard wanted to survive his cancer and establish his legacy, enabled by his ruthless disregard for the actual benevolent purpose of his family. All of Teen Wolf's villains were memorable because attention was paid to motivation. A problem with the majority of Villain Deaton stories is that the author doesn't give a damn about why Deaton does what he does; he's a villain solely because the author wants him to be.

Threat: To be a villain, the character has to have the capability to succeed. They have to be more powerful, more cunning, or have a lot of people on their side. Stupid, inane bureaucrats can be villains, for example, because they can use the might of the law to get their way. It's the primary difference between antagonist and villain; Teen Wolf also takes care to establish the sense of threat. Season 2 Derek creates a trio of eager and sad child soldiers, punches through concrete, and stomps on Scott's throat with little difficulty. Matt controlled the kanima. Another problem with the majority of Villain Deaton stories is that Deaton is seldom an actual threat. Stiles is always smarter and/or more magically powerful; Peter and Derek are always able to tactically overwhelm him without much problem; Deaton's usually alone in his wickedness save for his moronic catspaw who is somehow the benefit of Deaton's schemes without actually being able to do anything. The authors aren't really interested in telling a story with tension so they don't give Deaton an opportunity to win; they're simply trying to justify the coming lynching (and yes, I use that word deliberately).

Consistency: The actions of the villain have to conform to both their motivations and their role. This seems simple, but a lot of authors are so eager to get their vengeance on a character in a television show that they just skip the part where they make the plot make sense. For example, so many times Villain Deaton is out to suppress Stiles's overwhelming magical heritage yet that author leaves the scene in Raving (1x08) intact, no matter how little sense that makes. Or Villain Deaton wants to destroy the Hale Pack, but left Peter unmolested in the hospital for six years, doesn't accuse Derek of kidnapping him in Night School (1x07), teaches Isaac a useful skill in Battlefield (2x11), and doesn't take the opportunity to finish Derek off in Fury (2x10).

I would be a lot more content with the Villain Deaton stories I have read if they would just pay attention to the actual transformation they claim is their goal. But they're not interested in turning one story into another. The author's goal is to express their racist frustration that a black authority figure denied white prioritization and focused on a Latino lead protagonist instead of a white male character. That's his crime, and these stories are here to deliver the proper label and the proper punishment.

[hollowfaith]

4, 13, 30

munday asks

4. what made you choose this muse?

oh man i have a discord log of this lemme go back and see... ok so i was chatting to jade and saying i wanted to write a muse with a diff personality than what i had at the time but i hadn't watched anime in over a decade and reading an entire series just to find a muse i might RP would take too much time. so jade was like 'do u wanna join one of my OC worlds' and i was like 'omg but canz i be hansum guy in it' and she was 'yeah sure!!' so then i ended up shopping thru her OCverses to see where i'd fit

klaus looked lonely so i said i'd pick angel world and lo and behold she suggested the same thing at the same time so then we made aury from that

p.s. jade named him and i picked out his last name but the other options were like alistar & constantine LOL, anyways during the brainstorm stage we just called him X

and i also realize in 3 days (AKA 4/4/24) it will be the 1-year anniversary since this muse came into existence so...congrats to him? hahaha

13. what do you think about OCs?

i think they're cool and take a lot of work and more importantly, self-restraint to make into a realistic and cohesive character. the boundaries are what i have trouble with, i always want to change OCs that are 100% my creation so i've only been able to RP this guy + nezha because i have an unofficial Word of God to bounce "canon" off of and keep me in check with consistency.

don't make me make my own OCs that's like letting m. night shyamalan direct movies unchecked with his plot twists arite weird things happen and story falls apart *sweats*

30. what are your favorite RP tropes to play? (angst, hurt-comfort, etc…)

dang i haven't thought of this in a while...

i don't know about tropes atm but i like comedy in general with a bit of crack mixed in. i also enjoy writing angst but im always paranoid with overdoing it because then it gets too maudlin/melodramatic and doesn't click in the right spots and i want to eat my own hands when i read my stuff. i like when it's more understated and subtle so it hits you harder (like a aftershock) but it's honestly hard to do hahah~

oh writing angry muses is fun too. but then i wanna joke in the tags so my partner knows im not like, actually angry at them hahaha i appreciate you all very much mkay