#with posts ahead of time hating on him and saying the intention

[dotthings]

.

[microsofttothemax]

the resentment leo would have with splinter post-krang. i genuinely think they would take a bit for them to recover and be comfortable around each other

why do i think that? here’s some reasons. this is gonna be a HELLA long analysis so be prepared. sit down, grab some popcorn, and let’s dive in

in the movie, after raph was taken, leo goes on a whole rant about how he got the key, he gets the answers, and he will get raph back. yes this is irrational and brash, but not in leo’s eyes. in his eyes, this is a foolproof plan that will work

splinter attempts to intervene, and tell him like it is. “it’s not your plan, you need to work with your team.” however, it comes out as a sharp sting to leo’s previous attitude

“My son, listen to your team. This is not about you.”

it’s meant to be sensible and wise, but to leo, it’s a jab at him. it’s a stab at his cockiness and self-centered attitude, and it reminds leo of why they’re even in this position in the first place. which he hates

most of all, it’s splinter saying it. it’s his father telling him that it’s not about him. because to leo, he’s always been last place to splinter’s affection, and it’s like splinter’s confirming it here

don’t believe me? here:

splinter talks to leo, and it seems that for a minute, he listens to his father’s words. that maybe he should really stop and listen. maybe he should stop and think of a plan, listen to his brothers’ input.

but the second splinter says it’s not about him? leo shuts down. he pulls away from splinter, and refuses to listen to him. and while splinter may be right, it was something leo never wanted to hear

it’s obvious that he has a somewhat testy relationship with his father, and splinter is trying to make up for it by giving leadership advice. but to leo? this is the guy who made him leader to seemingly mess with him, never bothered to give him attention or praise on his accomplishments, and never truly knew leo beyond his “acting as the best to save face” charade

which brings me to another reason. no, i do not think splinter was ever abusive or purposely neglectful to leo, or any of the boys for that matter. but its clear theres a bit of a rift between him and leo. i think that he kind of resents leo a bit (without meaning to) because he sees himself in him. he sees the irrational movie star who never thought ahead, and made too many mistakes to count

an example would be when leo got punched by lou jitsu two times. none of his brothers got punched, why just him? and sure it could be a running gag, but i find it also to be intentional

maybe deep down, splinter still resents leo for being so much like his irrational, unreasonable younger self. that every time he sees leo, he sees his stupid past self, and without meaning to, he at times hates leo because of it. and if he doesn’t hate him, he seems to resent him to some extent

splinter also has plainly stated that donnie was the funniest one to him, (s1ep 1, mystic mayhem) and outright laughed when leo asked if he was the favorite son (rottmnt wake-up alarms on youtube, timestamp 1:59) leo also staight-up said that he was splinter’s least favorite (s1ep 4b, down with the sickness)

so yeah, i can see the resentment leo may have for his father deep down. it could be pretty apparent post-krang, hidden behind his jokes and teases

now don’t get me wrong, they have their moments of bonding, and i do love to read little drabbles and fics where they hug and heal. however… realistically speaking, it would take a while for them to get to that stage of father-son bonding post-krang. with splinter naming him leader out of the blue, to the missing lou jitsu posters on the walls of leo’s room in the movie — and we’re definitely talking about that in a later post, trust — i would bet their relationship as father-son pre and post-movie would be extremely rocky.

another reasoning for this could be that splinter often underestimates and undermines leo’s abilities and accomplishments. far as i’ve seen, the most reaction splinter’s given to leo’s accomplishments is an eyebrow raise

for example, when outsmarting big mama, leo was genuinely proud of spending time w his dad and showing him his abilities. he genuinely thought they were working together. however, splinter didn’t say he was proud or anything, just complained he wished he’d brought donnie (s2ep 2, many unhappy returns)

“I knew I should have brought Purple.”

ouch. that mustve hurt a bit

and yes, i will admit, leo was being a bit of a little shit in this scene, and yes, he could’ve told splinter of the plan before starting to yap and blab to big mama about the plan he cooked up. however, the response splinter gives is not much better. essentially, he’s saying, “i don’t like this kid or his plan, so therefore i think i should’ve brought one of my favored children to solve the problem better.”

and before you go and tell me donnie could’ve outsmarted big mama the way leo did, think for a moment. leo fully admitted to manipulating and lying in an episode before

“I don’t lie, I just… change the truth.”

whereas donnie cannot tell a lie to save his life. i love him, but the guy is a shit liar. he has failed multiple times at it

“We are just typical normal humans.. who got lost in the middle of our normal… everyday human lives— nailed it.”

“Uh… nothing. Just having a typical, normal, mystic-free day.” “What? I said mystic-free.”

“Why aren’t you guys more upset?”

“Oh. This… hurts me. Uh… I’m very sad…?”

raph & mikey aren’t much better. mikey straight-up started sweating when he had to lie to splinter about piebald, and raph has so many different stinks/scents to him that it’d be easy for others to tell he was lying

also, mikey has doctor delicate touch. who does not know what lying or “don’t be blunt” means

and donnie’s really only being extremely straightforward with what he thinks or about what’s going on around him. so it makes no sense as to why splinter would want to bring donnie along to outsmart big mama, unless he genuinely doesn’t enjoy leo’s presence, which seems to be the case

now all of this is evidence to point towards a very unsteady father-son relationship with these two. yes, splinter seems to be a very lenient father, and i genuinely think he wants to be a good dad. however, oftentimes that leads to miscommunication and misread moments, empty promises, and overall neglecting behavior on his part, all without meaning to

so while he does try harder to be there for his sons later in the show, it’s pretty obvious that one brother — who thrived off any attention possible — probably stopped caring about that validation after all that he went through. splinter gives, but leo doesn’t take. he doesn’t bother to, because he thinks it’s either a prank of some kind, or because he just genuinely doesn’t care for his father’s input anymore.

(this was based on that one post about splinter & leo by @midwesternvibes, i just figure i revisit that bc i’m thinkin about it again)

[cyjammy]

Vox and Alastor’s Dynamic is so FUN

Hazbin Hotel Season 1 Episode 2 Spoilers ahead!

I have to talk about Vox and Alastor’s “rivalry”. I love how Alastor just couldn’t care less, he’s witty, he’s emotionless and that makes him all the more powerful.

Well, not emotionless since he does express outward disgust towards anything digital, but the fact he can keep himself composed because he knows he is the shit and that’s what makes him my absolute favorite.

That showed through in the pilot and the show didn’t fail to deliver. I love how he’s handled. Viv’s characterization is wonderful.

Most fics I have read with Alastor have shown him as vunerable despite the story never alluding to that and it’s such a breath of fresh air to have canon content of Alastor being his authentic self.

My god do I love a character that’s strong and not swayed by emotion, but they can be handled well too. I.E. VOX oh my god. Every fanon had him pegged down as the victim to Val’s wrath, but he’s the mastermind behind the scenes. A complete subversion of everyone’s expectations. And that’s for another post I’m about to go crazy on, but I digress.

Vox is a man up in his ivory electronic tower with villainous intentions, but he falls short because of emotion!

Handling Velvet’s demands to get Val together? A quick pep talk with himself and he’s got it.

Addressing unforeseen circumstances with concerned sinners? Easy.

But Alastor?

He sees RED. He let Valentino have it when he even thought about going on a rampage over a sinner under his thumb.

When it comes to Alastor, Vox goes on a hate campaign and makes a fool of himself.

Meanwhile, Alastor was minding his business, and Vox couldn’t deal with that.

So much so he causes a blackout in the Wrath ring!

Why? Because of his rejection sensitivity.

He is this all powerful overlord with companions in his rule and when he asks someone of similar station to become his equal he gets rejected.

It’s unheard of for him. He cannot fathom it.

Because that makes Alastor a factor he cannot control.

Val says that Alastor “almost beat him”. Val may not have witnessed that fight and Vox spun it around to claim he came out on top.

But if he did, he definitely wouldn’t let Alastor get away.

Valentino and Vox have known each other for a long time, as shown in a photo in the background in the episode.

So either this spat began before they had met and Vox lied or Valentino witnessed it. I'm excited to see which way that goes.

In terms of influence, Alastor seems to win that battle. Vox is in charge of electrical currents and anything in the digital space.

Alastor is so far removed from that Vox has no influence over him. He refuses to be involved with new technology.

But with Vox having an army of sinners under his wing through subliminal messaging, he had security and power.

With Alastor’s return he brings CHARISMA and he’s doing it SO FUCKING WELL.

This is not a battle, it’s a slaughter, and Alastor is WINNING. With television there are so many ways to captivate a viewer but with radio all the host has is their voice and personality. It all has to be shown in a medium that doesn’t have many options for uniqueness.

Alastor defends himself with grace. He throws out compliments to his fellow overlords while still having it be a slight to the man who began the fight.

THE Vs ARE PREENING AT HIS PRAISE. THIS MAN IS GOATED.

It's night and day, but that's probably because Valentino and Velvet are tired of Vox's shit. I love this parallel so much!

Vox needed to be the person he was with Valentino at all times if this is a battle he wants to win, but he’s so bitter he will never see that.

He’s stubborn and that’s his main flaw.

And I fucking love it.

Alastor knows what he’s thinking and how to avoid it.

Always a step ahead. And their duet showcases that perfectly.

Alastor uses his opponent’s power against them, seeing the slanderous TV campaign and immediately going on air.

He does that in the pilot as well and seeing that this has become a habit for him is so fun to see.

Alastor is not to be messed with and I feel like people decided to gloss over that. But it’s so in your face you cannot deny it.

Alastor is TERRIFYING with a chilling deposition that will give you nightmares if you dare cross him.

Give him the respect he fucking deserves.

And the music and the visuals of the song — A whole fucking masterpiece.

I’m in love with their dynamic so far and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

So far Vox is the obsessed fanatic that couldn’t handle rejection.

There has to be more than that.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Taming Of The Princess

Ao3 cross post

Rated: Explicit | brat taming, brat!reader, fem!reader, dubcon to con, foot fetishist (its minor) (like the good Victorian man who worships you)

it's writing month! and this 3k im crying

Richard has a measure of pride when it comes to playing his role seamlessly. Flawless charming, making himself appear as a humble knight to the lovely ladies of the manor. Oh, he does not forget about men, he is quite equal when it comes to honeyed words, subtle glances, and maybe a few smiles too.

You do not like him.

Lucky Guy and you are from the same century, but you are years further ahead than him. You two are inseparable and quite bold with one another (it said the social norms in your time changed). You hug each other, playfully flirt with each other, and then there is the way you both dress.

The maid dress was at least knee length, but your attire… What was the Lady Nightingale thinking? Your body just displayed so shameless, the way your hips swayed and the collar on your neck begging him to just grab you.

A foul temptress you are to hate him and tease him.

“What the fuck, Dick!” Post-match arguments, “I told you not to go near me!” They happen to everyone, it is nothing new.

“Richard,” Correcting you, “And you were at critical, decoder. My rescue was perfect, it was your primed cipher that was lacking.”

Victor left the match dining room while Naib Subedar watched, he usually does so if anyone gets physical he can put a stop to it before it becomes a fight.

“What!? My cipher was primed when I pinged it. By the time you got Victor, Naiad abnormal it.”

“Then there is no fault—”

“No, you fucked up! You should've left me and popped the damn thing.” You say.

“The match was a loss, (Name).” Naib Subedar cuts him the second he sees your hand ball up into a fist, and slips his hand over yours, “Enough, go.” Stern, you know he wants you to go cool off.

“... Fine.” You still are side-eyeing Richard but you back up from being in his personal space to yell at him. You walk away out of the room.

“That was easier than usual.” Naib Subedar says with his back to Richard then going over to the dining table before pulling back his hood and leading on the table with his hands. Exhaustion clear in his mannerisms and tired sigh, “Don't hold it against her, Naiad has been more of a problem with how frequent being matched with her is becoming.”

Naiad; Richard has some difficulties with her when he does get put into a match with her. Most of Richard’s matches though have been with Nightmare, Fool’s Gold, and often of late Night Watch.

It is a bit arrogant of him but he likes going against the Night Watch, predictable and one who does not relent in trying to take down the knight.

“Ah, well,” Naib Subedar stretches out his back before heading out, “You should go rest before your next match.” Then the knight is left alone.

Richard is learning there is a pecking order here, an unspoken chain of command and seniority. He has no intention of playing lone wolf or trying to seem like a leader, he is a simple knight in shining armor when necessary.

Florian is interesting with his hero complex, perhaps he will be interesting to speak with about the manor.

Richard's charms have already gained him a few admirers among the ladies, a few of the male admirers too because of his feminine beauty.

Two weeks here and he has found himself enjoying himself, though your behavior towards him— Particularly the nickname is bothersome. It is terribly childish yet your guarded demeanor has been brought up twice during gatherings.

You, a quote from a day ago, “Don't trust pretty boys.” 

Laughable given you were in the smoking room talking to Luca about how beautiful Joseph is with and without clothes on.

The mistrust towards him is fine, amusing when others think you are paranoid.

It is not amusing as weeks go by and he finds himself cracking at the seams when you keep pushing and pushing. And then you pushed the knight too far his true color came out… Not that anyone could fault him given the events leading up to it. 

He left the match only after you were downed and you pinged that you would take the dungeon. Perhaps you should not have tested him, or maybe you should have not teased him with backhanded flirting.

Either way, the knight has a plan to deal with your behavior.

"Finally, silence," The sigh from the knight is exaggerated as he looks over his results. It took some time and being a step of you, a cunning little crow— But the fox is far more cunning.

You glare at him as your wrists are tied behind your back and are kneeling, and rope biting around your breasts as he had tied two separate pieces of room to bind your arms in place. The cloth gag was a last-minute choice as you would not shut up, he should have expected that.

"I suppose we can work on your mouth later."

Richard has you in the supply closet in the kitchens, far from the others. He has his advantage and will be using it.

"Cute." Eyeing your bedtime attire, "To think under all that uncouth behavior and improper dressing, there is a fair maiden underneath."

You struggle against your binds, you hiss as the rope keeps your legs folded biting into your skin.

"I understand you enjoy pain but I advise you not to writhe too much... Not yet." A smirk on his face was highlighted by the candelabrum in his hand.

He kneels, his gauntlet hand reaching out tracing your cheek and chin with the back of his finger, eyes admiring the beauty before him. "Cold?"

You are flustered as your nipples are perky and showing due to no bra and the nightgown is revealed by your open robe.

"Fret not, I shall provide the warmth and succor you need, dear maiden.”

The sharp metal is maneuvered with skill and expertise, you whimper with your eyes squeezing shut as his finger moves from your face. Sliding down your throat, collarbone, and reaching the top of your breast. He tugs the front of your robe to further reveal your covered breast, a smirk on his face as he teases by tracing around your nipple. You try moving but you are stuck in place because of the pipe where you can hear water flowing up.

"You once said any girl would want a knight," His voice is so calm as he pinches your nipple and tugs a bit, "I had not realized my wild little crow was a lonely princess in disguise."

You turn your head away as he toys with your nipple causing it to become harder and sore.

"You had to only request my service, my dear lady." His other hand gives your ignored other breast the same treatment with his bare hand. Not much of a difference as both sensations have you struggling not to moan.

"Such a guarded heart. A princess must protect herself when she is alone."

Your back arches towards him by reflex when he leans down enough for his hot breath to caress your nipple through the nightgown.

"You are no longer alone. I am here.”

You are going to kill him, maim him, shove a damn halberd up his knightly persona ass!

The shift to having you on his lap had you struggle then you felt his bulge from his hardening cock within those tight pants, it just had to brush against your crotch. You shiver as his mouth is on your breast, taking your nipple into his mouth even with the fake silk-like fabric. There you moaned as he made sure to be cruel and abuse your breasts to have you rocking your hips for attention elsewhere.

"Oh, how beautiful you are," He guides you to keep rocking your hips, to keep grinding on his cock and staining his pants with your dripping cunt. He grins as he knows your face hidden in the shadows is simply lovely. The pained expression as pleasure captures you without its claws.

He raises your nightgown to your waist then tucks the sides into the rope and does the same with the back.

"Naughty. Quite the lingerie to be wearing, princess."

"Fump humt!" You try back talking which gets you a slap on your exposed ass cheek by his gauntlet. You cried out in pain.

"Behave, though I serve you, you will not disrespect your knight."

You nod as if apologetically.

"Good girl." Kissing your nose, "Now, let me lay you down."

You are untied from the pipe but still helpless and now you are on the floor with wide-open legs.

Princess. The shit you do not call yourself because you are too grown for that!— Plus, you prefer being called kitten or pup, some hot and degrading when you are in the mood. Yet, from him, it sounds like a perfect fit.

You gasp as you feel his metal finger rub up and down your cunt, your partially lace panties captured his fancy. You are wet, and can't be helped with what he is doing with your breasts, his mouth back on them as he tugged your gown down to free them enough to place hickeys on the top.

You writhe and moan, head turning back and forth, back arching up when he gives more attention to your clit. The barrier of your panties protects you from cold metal but does not save you from his touches.

"That's it, so good for me, princess. It is what I am here for, to satisfy you."

The corner of your eyes builds up tears as the stimulation becomes too much. You won't be able to hold back from cumming.

And you swear he knows!

Knows and stops before you could cum, you were expecting him to then pull out his cock and just fuck you.

Oh, how wrong you are. Your knight is hellbent on ensuring his lesson is taught and understood.

He moves your panties aside before putting two fingers in his mouth to wet them before he cups your pussy. You go stiff when he tries to put two fingers in and then puts the middle finger slowly and carefully. He hushes you, finger wiggles and he groans at the way your velveteen walls are so inviting. Tight and wet, he moves it around a bit more before inserting his index finger, a second to wait for you to relax before moving. Scissoring his fingers to prepare you, enjoying searching for that spot; that spot that has any woman hysterical.

You are squirming more as you feel him searching for your demise, and you get unexpectedly loud when he does.

"Rihmrd!"

"Ah, deep right here." As he touches it again. His thumb is on your clit rubbing circles as he now has you trembling before your fall.

Over and over, just on the edge, he kept fingering you to the edge but never letting you cum.

At this point, you are crying and begging for him to just let you cum. You have forgotten about being mad at him for anything! All you want is mercy to be free of this torture!

"Has the princess learned her lesson, hm?"

You nod your head quickly.

"Understand my patience can be tested but you will reap the consequences, dear one. I can be rewarding and merciless." A dark tone you now realize he used during one of the matches where you went too far to be petty.

"You will cum soon. First, you will provide me with a taste of your nectar."

Anything he wanted he could take it with how you are burning alive with need.

Richard Sterling is a beautiful man, there is no denying that truth. So is Frederick, so is Edgar (when he isn't being an ass), and Joseph (God, he is divine).

And you have had your share of fun with them. Nothing serious, just fun.

But you do not believe this is going to be a temporary one-night stand with Richard. You fear he is going to imprint himself on you, have you crawling back to him, to be his pauper turned into a princess by his word alone.

You hate that! Hate him yet he is between your legs drinking from you while you wish you could pull on his hair— Fucking soft looking hair.

His eyes are sharp on you, locking eyes with him is a mistake as his fingers suddenly start moving at a relentless pace and his mouth is on your clit.

That was your end, seeing the damn constellation of stars with how hard you cum.

You are not going to be able to recover from this, he might have ruined you forever for another. Jerk. Asshole. Damn bastard!

"Gorgeous. Well done, princess." Then he chuckles as your glare is back but your eyes are glossy from crying. "There is no need for that."

You are a mess, hot and bothered, and extremely needy for more.

He kisses his way up to your chest then kisses your chin with the satisfaction of a cat who caught the mouse. "We are not done yet, but you know this. You aren't done either."

You huff at him though you still are floating on cloud nine of your orgasmic high. His hands carefully untied your legs, soothing them and kissing your thigh as he rubbed the numbness you were gaining away. His eyes on your face, your parted lips, your eyes that stare wide-eyed at him like a doe-eyed maiden— Though he believes a siren-eyed maiden caught in a fisherman's net.

“How tempting you are my dearest princess. It is no wonder others are enchanted by you.” His voice is so elegant and sweet in the way you imagine romance novel men sound like.

Perfect, too perfect, you are going to dig yourself further into his trap.

The other leg is untied and given the same care, but then he lifts your leg, and—Your flustered cheek hurts from how hot they are! He tosses off your slipper, his tongue sliding up the bottom of your foot up your big toe, his mouth on it— Sucking on it— before bending your knee to allow him to kiss his way up to your calf.

“Fumk ah!”

Richard attacks your breasts once more, you are helpless and honestly do not want to fight, everything he does has you lost in the ether damn pleasure. His cock is not even inside of you and you want it so badly— So badly you are saying gagged nonsense as he switches from your breasts to your neck and face. He licks your tears away, lips on your cheeks, the dark chuckle as he avoids your sweet lips.

“Shh, now, have I not been patient and merciful with you? Foregoing your reasonable punishment.”

You nod as you just want him to fuck you already.

“Of course, anything for you as you hold my heart, princess.” He rips open your nightgown with his sharp gauntlet. “I will ravish you here, upon your bed, upon mine, anywhere your shameless heart wishes.”

The kiss on your nose has you in tears, well, more tears of frustration and need. He looks at you with affection and false pity.

"Now, my princess," The cloth tugged down to hang around your neck, "Beg with that filthy mouth you like to use to berate your knight."

Oh, you do, with a sobbing cracking voice, you beg for cock. Beg and debase yourself for him to finally fuck you the only way he can possibly could give.

"Good girl." He stands up leaving on the floor looking up at him like a savior promising to soothe your misery.

"On your chest, princess, and show me your ass." Vulgar word coming from him only makes you wetter— If that is possible. You do your best while lying down and rolling over the floor, you cringe at how sticky your breasts are on the cold floor. And pushing your legs under you to display not only your ass but your glossy dripping cunt to the fire.

"Magnificent..." Then he slaps your ass from the bottom near your pussy, "A taste of what you will receive if you test me again, my princess." He enjoys your shout of pain and lust from his firm strike.

You are so happy to hear the unbuttoning of his trousers, to hear his feet moving and the thump of him dropping to his knees. Better is his gauntlet-covered hand grabs a hold of your hair as he rubs his very hard and ready cock between your lower lips, his groan when the tip of his cock catches your twitching hole.

"Richard, please! Please, my knight!" Calling to him. He pulls your hair as his other hand guides him inside the paradise he knows well.

This is the point of no return he wants you, the point where he could do anything and you will take because so long as that quim of yours in full; and he will do anything to you. The last piece of rope is a short-lived mercy as the knight yanks off your robe revealing the deep dip of your nightgown.

The growl at the sight exposing the reality of your nightwear is far more revealing than the current ones of his time, anyone could— Have— Seen you like this.

Your arms are fortunately sore but not numb, your hands scrambling to grab onto anything as he moves at a fast and brutal pace— It hurts yet it is amazing! You cannot shut up, moaning and saying his name, you do not care if anyone passing back hears.

Richard just must not stop, never stop, you say it to beg him to not stop fucking you so damn good.

“That's it, perfect, princess.” Sounding equally as affected by this, by him thrusting into you like a rutting mutt.

“Richard! I'm so ah close!” It is too much yet not enough, “More, everything, please!” Broken sentences of desperation, the laugh behind you as he lays upon your back covering your body. All you feel is him, all you smell is him, all you want is him. His hand goes between your legs, you lose your voice as he rubs your sensitive cilt bringing about your end.

It doesn't stop even with you black out for a second, he keeps going with you on your back and him holding your legs together over his shoulder. He looks so handsome like this; his eyes shine with his fulfilled promise of sin, and his swollen bottom lip from biting down on it, the sweat on his forehead as he gives you everything. You cum once more but now with him, the sensation of his cum filling you up reminds you how grateful you are unable to get pregnant in this cursed manor.

The only good thing about this place, is no more menstrual cycles (though the ovation horniness is still there) and no pregnancies.

You both are out of breath, eyes locked on one another, he doesn't pull out. Richard parts and rests your legs down before kissing you, your legs lock him close as he starts touching you again and you fight to get his clothes off.

Richard finds him enjoying your “bratty” behavior, he gets to see how far you go to get the attention you want from him. It has its time and place, and yes it is childish, but he finds that so long as he has you over his knee— Well, you are inspired to behave for a while.

“Princess.” Kissing your hand as he finds you in the library putting away some of the books you borrowed, “Are you preoccupied at the moment?”

“No, why?” Placing the last book back, “Dick!” He pushed you against the wall-mounted bookshelf with both your hands against the shelf.

“Knight or Richard.”

“No Daddy or my Lord?” Being your usual self, “Is my Lord in a good mood if he is wearing his armor.” Winking at him. You like the Red Knight armor set though it is a pain in the ass to get it all off— Not that you want it off of him immediately!

“He is but her highness should address me as ‘sir’ for I am only her,” Sliding down onto his knees, “Modest knight.” You keep your hands in place as you watch him enjoy the benefits of you wearing a summer dress, one you usually wear to tea with Emma and Melly.

“Here?”

“Here.”

[avocad1s]

Bring Back What Once Was Mine

Chapter Summary: Lumine tells the False Creator some fabricated news. You are confronted by the Prince.

Characters Mentioned: Multiple Characters Mentioned

Content Warning: Cult and Religious themes ahead! You've been warned. I would also say this deals with slight Yandere themes as well!

Reader is the true creator of Teyvat. GN! Reader

Part Three Part Four (You are here!) Part Five

I’ve re-read this multiple times but I think if I read it again I’ll grow to hate it and delete so I’m just gonna post it

Even with the moonlight spilling through the campsite, you could hardly make out the features of his face. His grip on your hands was firm but not tight enough to cause you any discomfort, it didn’t seem that he was going to let go any time soon.

“Oh how I’ve waited for this…. Waited for you.” He breaths out.

You simply stare at him, not saying a word. Had he been following you this whole time? If so, how come you weren’t alerted to his presence?

His smile drops at your silence, “don’t be alarmed Your Grace. I have no intention of hurting you! I just want to talk for now.”

He looks behind him for a moment, as if he were looking out for someone, perhaps Yelan. Once he looks back, his smile and soft gaze return.

His tone is unbelievably sweet. You could feel his hands shaking, and based of his demeanor, you assume it was due to excitement. Even if he was trying his best not to show it.

“I’m Aether.” He introduces, smile never fading.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“Your Grace” He replies, “I need your help. Khaenri'ah needs you.”

You raise your brow, “Khaenri'ah?”

He nods eagerly, “I am going to restore your nation back to its former glory, and now that you’re here, I have no doubts that we can bring it back.”

“Wait a minute,” you say, “you’re not of this world, why do you care about some ancient nation from five hundred years ago?”

His closes his eyes for a moment, “you’re right. I’m not from this world, but I’ve been here since that nation stood tall and I got to experience everything it had to offer. Everything you had made.”

He caresses the back of your hands with his thumbs, “Your Grace… when you returned to Teyvat few days ago, we in the Abyss we’re immediately aware of your presence. I tried so hard to find you, and I’m mad that I didn’t find you first. I should be the only one allowed to help you, only I know the truth of this world.”

“The truth of this world?”

Aether pulls you to stand up with him, “I know this may be hard to hear, but please listen to me.”

You could feel the anxiety crawl up your back as you wait for him to continue talking. You’ve been so blindsided by the False Creator that anything else that happened in Teyvat wasn’t a concern for you at the moment.

“The archons are taking advantage of your kindness,” he begins, “your world is becoming corrupted because of them. Teyvat never had this many monsters on it before, and it’s all their doing.”

You pull your hands away from his grip, his eyes widen but he lets go. “I know how it may sound but I would never lie to you Your Grace.”

You cross your arms looking away from him, “this is a lot to take in. Are you trying to tell me that I cannot trust my own Archons?”

He shakes his head, “I would never tell you what you can and can’t do, I’m just telling you do not be blinded because you know them from the past. It’s been centuries, they can change.”

Aether reaches out to grab your hands again, you put up no fight as he laces his fingers with yours and he smiles gently. “Come with me Your Grace. Together, we can get rid of the fake you on the throne and make Teyvat whole again. The Abyss will welcome you with open arms.”

“I’m not letting them go anywhere with you.”

Behind Aether, Yelan was holding a few sticks in her hand, but you could tell she would drop them at any moment if she had to go on the defense.

“You know for someone who doesn’t want anyone to know they’re on Teyvat, a lot of people keep finding you, Your Grace.” She teases.

Aether gives Yelan a death glare but makes no attempt to unlace your hands, “you cannot protect Their Grace like I can and how dare you talk to them like that?

She scoffs at his words, “I’m letting them go anywhere with someone from- what did you say?- oh right, the Abyss. You hate humanity. Their Grace will stay here where they belong.”

He scowls but brings his attention back to you, “it seems that we are already out of time.” He lets go of your hands reaching into his pocket to hand you a particular flower. “The next time we meet, I will not allow anyone to interrupt us… and I hope that you join me in the future.”

He turns around shoving his way past the girl walking off into the darkness.

“If we have to collect fire wood later I’ll take you with me, it’s too dangerous for you to be alone.” Yelan states taking a few steps toward you before dropping the sticks on the ground. “You Grace, just like with the Fatui, the Abyss cannot be trusted. I would even say they are more dangerous, whoever that man was, you should stay far away from him.”

You say nothing staring at the flower in your hand, you recognized it’s origins the second you saw it, the flower was from Khaenri'ah. Was this his way of telling you that everything he said was the truth, that he actually was around before and during the destruction of the nation. You bring the flower close to your chest closing your eyes.

“Erm, Your Grace?”

You jump at the sound of her voice, “sorry I’m just a little distracted.”

She gives you a reassuring smile, “don’t pay any mind to whatever he said. He was probably just trying to trick you and use your powers to destroy humanity.

Yelan kneels down fixing the sticks to build a fire. Even though you nod at her explanation you couldn’t help but feel relieved that she didn’t hear everything he had told you. Trying to explain the fall of a nation that no one should know existed anymore would be impossible, especially since you still had questions about it yourself.

“Here let me do it.” You kneel down using the Pyro element to light a small fire on the wood.

Both of you sit in front of the fire in a comfortable silence, but your mind kept going back to everything Aether had told you, was he telling you the truth? Or should you believe Yelan who said that he just wanted your power for the destruction of humanity.

“You should try getting some sleep Your Grace.” Yelan whispers, “I’ll keep watch over you.”

The overwhelming sense of fatigue washes over you, “are you sure?” You ask. She nods, “Of course, I would never forgive myself if something were to happen while you’re with me and I don’t think anyone else would forgive me either. The last thing I need is two Adepti mad at me. Please sleep.”

With that final reassurance you let yourself relax in the soft grass, the ancient flower Aether gave you laid by your side as you stare up at the stars. You couldn’t help but wonder how many more people were after you. The Fatui, the Abyss, and probably the Archons as well since the Gnosis alerted your presence to them.

You let out a breath closing your eyes. Wondering who you could possibly run into next.

A few days ago, Sumeru City

“Lumine you’ve returned, but you don’t have who I asked for…”

A few hours after Lumine and Nahida split away from the true Creator, they returned to Sumeru City. Nahida entered Irminsul like she said she would and now Lumine stood in front of the False One like before. Yet it felt different this time, if she were to mess up it wouldn’t just be her life at risk, many others were counting on her as well. The real Creator was counting on her.

The Traveler bows stiffly at them, “I have some… news regarding the task you gave me.”

They told their head at her statement sitting up straight in their throne. “Well, what is it? Don’t tell me they got away.”

“No Your Grace, it isn’t that. I managed to locate the individual I told you about. When I told them to come with me I guess they got suspicious that I was going to bring them back here and they took off running. While I was pursuing them, they fell off a ledge and…”

“Are you telling me that they are dead?”

Lumine, who was still bowing, nods a bit. “Yes, I checked myself.”

The False Creator lifts themselves of the throne walking slowly down the staircase until they stood right in front of the girl. They grip her chin lightly bringing her gaze to meet theirs.

“And where is their body now?”

“I pushed it into the river… I assumed since they look like you, no one else should see them.”

They smile, “how smart of you, but I’m still disappointed. All of amazing stories I’ve heard about you and you couldn’t do one thing I asked of you. I’m disappointed…”

Lumine swallows trying to keep her composure, she hadn’t felt this terrified since she had seen the defiled Statue of the Seven.

They let go of her chin crossing their arms behind their back, “now what should I do with you, Traveler? Can I trust you?”

“Yes your Grace! I will never tell anyone about this…”

They nod at her declaration, “don’t worry I trust you, but I can’t help but get a bit paranoid at times. So I hope you understand why I have to do this.”

“Do what?” She asks.

“Guards!” They call out and almost immediately a dozen Sumeru guards enter the room bowing as they await their orders.

“Take her and the fairy away. They’ll be staying in Sumeru for a little longer.”

The guards waste no time surrounding the Traveler pulling them away from the False Creator, Lumine tries to fight them off but there was too many of them.

“Don’t worry.” They say a smirk on their face, “I have no intention of hurting you or your companion, but I cannot risk this information getting out to any else in Teyvat.”

The Traveler is pulled out the room without another word the last thing she heard is the False Creator asking one of the guards to find Nahida immediately.

In Liyue, present day

“Wake up sleepyhead…” a voice sings.

A groan leaves your mouth as you turn over.

“Do I have to throw water on you? C’mon time to wake up!”

You open your eyes and your met with a kneeling Yelan who smiles at you.

“Ah, there’s those beautiful eyes.” She coos, “it’s time get moving if you want to make it to Liyue Harbor before sunset.”

You sit up rubbing your eyes, “you let me sleep through the whole night? Aren’t you tired?”

“You looked exhausted. Don’t worry about me Your Grace, I’ll be fine.”

Yelan holds her hand out to help you stand and you accept rising to your feet. Not without grabbing your flower first.

“Are you going to keep that?” She asks.

You look down at it, “well it is beautiful.”

“Alright,” she hums stomping out the campfire, “you ready to leave?”

You nod, “let’s go.”

Somewhere else in Liyue

The eleventh Fatui Harbinger was looking for someone.

It was supposed to be a close kept secret between him, the Tsaritsa, and the other Harbingers but he had accidentally slipped and told some of the soldiers under his command due to his anxiousness.

That slip up might’ve cost him what he was looking for.

He stares coldly at the few soldiers that kneeled at his feet, they were the ones he had sent to the Chasm.

“Lord Harbinger! Please forgive us!” One of them cry.

“We had no idea someone was listening to what we were saying.”

He scoffs at their excuses, “you’ve heard the saying about Liyue, there are ears everywhere. If you were under the command of any of my comrades they would waste no time in killing you.”

They tense up, even thought their eyes wasn’t visible due to their masks, they made no effort to meet his gaze.

“You’re lucky that I am in a good mood but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. Find that woman.” He waves his hand and they take off.

When he and the other Harbingers witnessed the glowing of the gnosis, it had cleared many doubts he had about what the Tsaritsa was thinking.

To clarify, his doubts were about the Creator. Or rather, the False One.

The Fake Creator had been on Teyvat way before Childe was born so as he grew up with his parents had told him all the amazing things they had done.

Then he fell into the Abyss and that’s when he first encountered the idea that the one on the throne wasn’t who they claimed to be. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind putting his focus on his family until he joined the Fatui.

In the Fatui is when he was reintroduced to The Creator not being, well, The Creator. Now it wasn’t something he could just push away, he actually wanted to know if it was the truth or not. The Tsaritsa explained to him that if they collect all seven Gnosis they can summon the real Creator back to Teyvat.

So when the Jester sent him to Liyue to collect Rex Lapis Gnosis, he jumped at the opportunity.

“Lord Harbinger…” a timid voice says, “we had located the woman.”

“And?”

“You were right, they are with her.”

“Lead me there.”

-

They were right. His soldiers were right.

A few meters up ahead he could see them and the woman he instantly recognized to be Yelan. She had popped up on the Fatui’s radar years ago due to her… persuasive methods of learning Fatui secrets from the lower ranks.

It felt as if he was frozen to the ground, he never expected to find you in Liyue. He believed someone else would’ve been the one to find you, but no, it was him.

He felt so lucky, he was going to be the first Harbinger you’d talk to.

-

“…and that’s how I got this jacket.”

You laugh a bit, “well aren’t you a sneaky one?”

“You’re right, she’s always sticking her nose in business that doesn’t involve her.” Childe smiles directly at you as Yelan puts her arm up in front of you defensively.

“I knew we’d run into you, but I didn’t expect it to be this soon.”

Childe laughs, “well I hope you don’t mind me taking Their Grace off your hands then?”

Yelan’s eyes narrow, “Their Grace isn’t something you Fatui can just take as your own. They are going with me.”

He rolls his eyes at her directing his attention to you, “Her Majesty the Tsaritsa has been waiting for you for a long time Your Grace. Come with me to Snezhnaya.”

Yelan looks back at you, “Don’t listen to him. This is the Fatui Harbinger Childe that I told you about. His motives are unknown.”

You look at the Yelan then at Childe.

“We in the Fatui would never hurt our Creator.” He states.

“What does Snezhnaya even have to offer Their Grace?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” He argues.

“Both of you stop fighting!” You say suddenly causing both of them to look over at you. “What does the Tsaritsa want from me?”

His dull eyes light up at your question, “Her Majesty believes she knows where the False Creator comes from. So as soon as you made your presence known, we began searching for you.”

You step closer to him despite Yelans warnings.

“She found out where the False Creator came from?”

Childe nods, “please come to Snezhnaya with me Your Grace. The False Creator is the reason you returned, right?”

“You’re right.”

“Then we shouldn’t waste anymore time.” He clasps his hands together.

You turn giving Yelan reassuring smile, “Yelan. Thank you so much for your help up until this point, and I will never forget everything you’ve told me but I have to go with him. If whatever the Tsaritsa knows is right, that could change everything.”

She nods bitterly, “if you must go, allow me to come with you. I’ll protect you with my life.”

You reach out grabbing her hand, “That’s sweet of you but I can’t. Even if I needed protection I can tell that he is way too powerful for you to defeat on your own. I promise that I will return to Liyue.”

She hold your hand tightly, “alright then. I’ll wait for your return.”

And with that, You leave Yelan alone as you walk off with Childe.

“How are we getting to Snezhnaya?” You ask.

“By boat, it’s waiting for us right outside Liyue Harbor.”

“Right outside?” You raise a brow.

He laugh a bit, “Well people from Snezhnaya aren’t welcome in other nations anymore. It would’ve drawn unnecessary attention us if we anchored at the dock, and I doubt the Liyue Qixing would let us be there anyway.”

You suppose his explanation made sense, he wasn’t the only person to tell you how unwelcomed Snezhnaya was in other nations.

“Your Grace,” Childe says after a moment of silence. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, it’s not like there’s anything else to do.”

He keep walking but stares at you, “what did Yelan tell you? About the Fatui I mean.”

“She told me that you all have done terrible things and how a few years ago you all had an unprecedented amount of power in every nation.”

He hums, “I see…”

It falls silent once more, as you both continue walking towards the nation of Geo.

-

A few hours after you had split with Yelan and decided to join the Fatui Harbinger Childe, you two (and the rested of his crew that trailed behind you) arrived at Liyue. All you had to do was walk across the bridge and you’d be in the Harbor.

However Liyue Harbor wasn’t your destination anymore.

Right off to the side of the bridge was a fairly large sized boat, Childe leads you to the hatch allowing you to step on first then he follows.

“The trip to the Zapolyarny Palace is only a few hours,” He explains, “but you’re going to need this when we get there.”

Childe digs through a chest pulling out a luxurious coat, it was made out of the finest materials Teyvat had to offer.

“One of my comrades had this custom made just for you. Well actually he had way more than one made so no matter who had encountered you first, you would have something to keep you warm once we enter Snezhnaya.”

You take the coat from him, the second the material touches your fingers you could tell how expensive it was. There was an insane amount of care and respect put into making this.

“That is very sweet of him,” you mutter, “I should thank him once we arrive.”

He lets out a sigh resting his head in his palm muttering to himself, “it will only go to his head…”

You want to laugh at his comment but decide you should pretend you didn’t hear him. Looking out to sea, your mind finally fills with everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours.

Even though Childe told you that the Cryo archon figured out where the False Creator came from, you kept thinking about what Aether told you the night before.

Should you trust the Archons? Was the Tsaritsa leading you to Snezhnaya with a Trojan Horse? Or was it Aether that was lying to you.

You try to shake the thoughts out of your head, it would only be a few hours before you know for sure.

An unknown location in Sumeru City

It had been days since Lumine had been thrown into this dungeon. It wasn’t the same place the Sages had put her a year ago, it was probably a precaution so that none of her Akademiya friends found her.

“Traveler” Paimon whines, “what are we gonna do?”

Lumine brings her knees to her chest, “I don’t know Paimon. No one knows we are here, we have no way to reach out to the Creator or Nahida.

The fairy flys around sadly for a moment before her eyes widen, “wait a second! Why don’t you try reaching out to Nahida in your dreams.”

Lumine picks her head up, “you’re so smart Paimon! Maybe not using you as emergency food was a good idea.”

Paimon scoffs, “this is not the time for joking around! And for the last time, Paimon is not emergency food!”

The Traveler moves to lays down on her back steadying her breathing as she closes her eyes. Soon enough, she falls into a light slumber trying to the best of her ability to reach out to the Dendro Archon.

..

“…Nahida…?”

“Lumine…?” A familiar voice says, “I can hear you, where are you?”

“The False Creator. They locked me in some dungeon.”

“That’s horrible, did they not believe you?”

“No, I think they believed me… did you find anything in Irminsul?”

“Yes… it’s horrible… I’ve been searching for you everywhere to tell you.”

“Well, what is it?”

“The False Creator… they were created by Celestia.”

Note: this part took way longer to put out than the others, but I just want to say thank you so much for all the love on this series and for all the follows and reblogs you all have given me. I never expected this story to do so well!! :’)

And I know, I know, many people have maybe Celestia the enemy in SAGAU (be cuz they are) but I just trust me :>

© avocad1s please do not plagiarize or post to any other website

Taglist: @esthelily @the-dumber-scaramouche @undrxtxd @grimreapersscythe @seawater-aurelia-writing @probablynoposts @issy-lol @genshin-impacts-me @itsredactedlove @chidouna @thedevioussmirk @hoo-hoo @chaoticfivesworld @akemiixx01 @lunarapple @nowords-onlybreathing @fangirlinindia @veyu002 @blackcoffex @kaveh-is-pretty @ariasdream @averycuriousperson @bloopthebat @chuuya-brainrot

If your @ is bold, I cannot tag you

If you want to be tagged just ask below or inbox me, I will keep tagging people until Tumblr tells me to stop 💀

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Every Inch of You

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: reader is fighting demons (insecurities), very specific descrpitions of body image related insecurities- like the reader is literally picking herself apart in a mirror, hella praise, body worship, fingering, edging, multiple orgasms, creampie, cockwarming, pseudo voyeurism/exhibitionism (he fucks her in front of a mirror idk) I think that's everything

Genre: starts off pretty angsty, we transition to smut and end with fluff!

Summary: Insecurities can be quite rough on you but your boyfriend has no intentions of letting you go through it alone

***

You frown at your reflection as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Today has been a rough day. Nothing in particular happened. You went to work, you ran some errands, you did normal daily things, but for some reason you've been in such a weird mood and now you're stuck in a vortex, picking apart yourself apart in the fucking mirror. You really ought to go to the gym more often, or- stop snacking at night, have your pores always been so noticeable? Since when do you have so many stretch marks? You can't see your toes over your stomach- god that's embarrassing. You let out a long sigh as you bite back the tears stinging the back of your eyes. You hate this. It doesn't usually get this bad and the worst part is you know it's not real, you know you're not some hideous monster but it doesn't stop that nasty voice in your head from warping your perception some days and when that happens nothing you say to yourself changes it. But man does it suck, because most of the time you have all the confidence in the world, you've worked very hard on it. Days like this make it feel like you're still some lost little kid desperate to find your place in the world with no sense of self. You should just walk away. If you can't see yourself, you can't pick your appearance apart. But your feet feel glued to the floor, as if they can't remember how to move, as if it's the most impossible task you've ever been given.

"Alright that's enough. You'll lose your mind standing here." You tell yourself, shaking your head in hopes of getting out of this dreary mood. You finally step away from the mirror and head to your closet to put on some clothes post shower. You throw on a hoodie and some shorts and leave your room.

"Babe?!" You hear as you walk down the hall. Sounds like your boyfriend's back.

"Hey love, welcome home." You meet him by the door and he kisses you on the cheek.

"Hope you haven't made dinner yet beautiful because I brought take out." Luke tells you holding up the bag with an excited grin.

"Take out's good. You wanna shower first or dive straight in?" You ask him.

"Would you mind terribly if I showered first?"

"Not at all. Go ahead." You take the food from him and nod your head towards the bathroom.

"I'll be quick!" He kisses you once more and jogs down the hall. You set the food on the living room table and watch TV while waiting for Luke. You hope you're able to keep it together for the few hours you'll be spending with Luke before bed. Considering its a weekday, you don't have to keep the mask up for that long. True to his word, Luke is quick to return, maybe 15 minutes pass by the time he plops down next to you on the couch. "Alright! Let's eat!" He announces, opening the takeout bag. He hands you your food before digging into his own.

"How was work today?" You ask him.

"Fine, tedious. Was mostly doing paperwork today." He shrugs. "How was your day cupcake?"

"Work was work and then I ran some errands. No fun stories here unfortunately. How's everyone?"

"Well, Spencer was giving a guest lecture today so he wasn't around since we didn't have an actual case. Garcia was telling me about some woman that seems to have his attention at the uni though."

"Is Pen keeping tabs on Spencer at the college? He'll literally hate that when he finds out." You frown.

"That's what I told her but you know how she can be. Especially with how sometimes things- go wrong when we meet new people."

"I mean if she's just a coworker, Penelope's getting ahead of herself don't you think? He probably hasn't even made a move on her." You say.

"He hasn't. You're right but it's not like she can be stopped." Luke chuckles.

"Yeah I guess so." You hum.

"Alright, what's wrong, princess?" Luke frowns.

"What do you mean?"

"You've barely touched your food. Did you think I wasn't gonna notice you've only been picking at it? Do you not like it? Do you want to eat something else?"

"No it, it's fine, I just- I'm honestly not all that hungry I guess." You sigh.

"What do you mean you're not all that hungry? What've you eaten today?"

"A bagel for breakfast and a salad for lunch." You shrug. Luke checks the clock in your living room.

"Lunch was 8 hours ago, all you had was a bowl of rabbit food and you expect me to accept that you don't want to eat your favorite food? Come on, spill it baby what's going on with you?"

"Nothing's going on. I dunno I just- feel weird." You mutter, avoiding his gaze. Dating a profiler is so irritating sometimes, can't he just ignore your body language for once?

"Weird how?"

"We don't, have to do this. It's not a big deal babe." You mumble.

"You're not eating y/n it is absolutely a big deal."

"Luke-" you sigh.

"Don't 'Luke' me, what's going on?" He frowns.

"I'd really rather not discuss anything there's no need, seriously."

"Baby, don't shut me out. You can't shut me out. We're in this together, always. You've gotta tell me what's going on in your head." He caresses your cheek gently. You sigh, unable to justify holding out on him when he speaks so softly, with such care.

"I've just been having a bad mental day. Nothing's happened, but I, just feel uncomfortable in my body, and it's hard to deal with let alone talk about." You say, tears burning behind your eyes again.

"Baby," he says, concern contorting his features.

"It's fine, I'll get over it. Today's just been a rough one. It happens. Sometimes my insecurities flare up out of nowhere but that's life, I don't want you to worry." You shake your head.

"Do you know me at all princess?"

"What?"

"My baby, my darling, the love of my life, my reason for being, is stuck in her own head hating her body, the body I live to worship, the body I can't get enough of and you want me to simply 'not worry about it'? That ain't happening." He stands up.

"Luke." You grumble as he grabs your hands.

"No no no no, no complaining, up you go." He pulls you off the couch and lifts you into his arms.

"Ah! Luke what are you doing?" You ask, throwing your hands around his neck as he princess carries you down the hall.

"Well if that nasty little voice in your head wants to lie to you, I'll simply have to remind you myself of all the reasons ever inch of you is perfect." He says matter-of-factly.

"I do not like the sound of that." You tell him.

"And I don't like the sound of you feeling uncomfortable with yourself." Luke shrugs.

"Well that's not-" You stop yourself with a sigh, not even sure what your comeback would be. In your bedroom, Luke carefully lowers you to the ground in front of the mirror with your back facing him.

"I want to help you to see yourself the way that I do." He says softly. He kisses your neck lightly and gently lifts your gaze to meet his in the reflection. "Ask me how I see you." His fingers brush against your thighs as he speaks.

"How do you see me?" You whisper hesitantly. You're not sure you even want to know, but his lips against your throat and his hands on your skin are rather persuasive.

"You, mi amor, are the sun at the center of my universe, if ever I was asked to describe perfection I would simply describe you." Luke slides his hands up under your hoodie caressing your skin.

"Luke." Your brow furrows. This can't possibly be sexy for him, he's only touching your stomach to comfort you, he'd probably prefer it if-

"Relax baby." Luke whispers. You didn't even realize you'd sucked your stomach in against his touch unconsciously, as if you could hide from him your size. You slowly untense your muscles, cringing at the way you fill his large hands. "I'm going to take this off of you, is that alright baby?" He asks.

"Well," can you really handle looking at yourself again?

"You can say no if you want princess, but I need you to stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere." You say.

"Physically maybe, but I can see your mind wandering off." He kisses your temple. "Don't go."

"You can take it off." You whisper. Luke tugs the hoodie over your head not a moment later, tossing it somewhere in the room, out of sight. He lets out a sigh as his eyes trail over your body through the reflection. You can still feel the heat of his gaze in the mirror and weirdly enough it feels undeserved. He looks at you like that all the time but, tonight you just can't understand what would make him look at you with such want.

"God, you're gorgeous." He sighs placing his hands on your hips again. Luke places kisses on your shoulder. "Your skin is so soft, I can never get enough of touching you, kissing you, holding you." He says. He slides his hands up your sides to cup your breasts. "So perfect, I love the weight of your tits in my hands." His thumbs stroke over your nipples and the light stimulation makes your breath catch in your throat. He twists and tugs at your nipples, enjoying the little whimpers you let out. "You make the prettiest noises when I touch you baby."

"Luke-" you whine, your head lolling against his shoulder.

"Uh uh, head up princess, you've gotta watch. Watch me touch you, worship you, and watch how your body reacts to me, see for yourself how captivating you look." Luke gently shrugs his shoulder to push your head forward. You force your eyes to focus back on your reflections in the mirror, the sight of his hands kneading your breasts with rough fingers toying with your nipples to create hardened peaks only serves to make you squirm more against him. He keeps at it until your breathing is heavy, then one hand slides down, pausing to rub your tummy, "You may not believe me but this, I love this. Growing up it meant you were eating well, taken care of. And I like to think I take good care of you. I want it to show." He says kissing your neck. "Plus it's excellent for cuddles." He winks with a smile that makes you giggle. "I like that sound even more than your little whimpers, but I'm about to get a lot more of those." Luke's hand continues down, pushing your shorts down enough for you to kick them off. His hand caresses your thigh.

"You're teasing." You pout.

"You look cute when you pout." He chuckles. "But I'll be nice." His voice drops as he slips two fingers between your folds. You arch you back against his touch as his digits toy with your cunt. Luke knows your body maybe better than you do and his hand makes quick work of bringing you to the edge. Your head tips back again, instinctively and his movements slow when he catches it. The sudden change drags your gaze to his in the mirror, a silent question in your eyes when you whine. "If you want to cum pretty girl you have to watch yourself do it."

"But-"

"No buts, keep your eyes open and on the mirror." He says stroking you faster now that your attention is back on your reflection. Again when you feel your orgasm creeping up your spine your head drifts back and again Luke slows his hand almost to a stop.

"No!" You cry out as your release slips away.

"I already told you princess, your eyes have to stay on your reflection." He says waiting for your breathing to calm slightly before his fingers work you again. This time, you manage to keep your head forward, but your eyes still slide closed from the pleasure. Unfortunately for you your boyfriend is very observant and closed eyes still break the rule, so his fingers slow again.

"Fffffffffffffuck me." You grit out, frustrated from his edging game.

"I'll keep doing this until you get it right mi amor. Keep your eyes open." He says beginning again. This time, you steel yourself. You don't think you can handle another denial. The signs of release return quickly with his hands on you and though your lids desperately want to close you keep them open even as they threaten roll back in bliss as you finally cum with a breathy moan. "That's it, so fucking stunning." Luke says as he strokes you through the aftershocks. Your legs are still shaking and your chest is still heaving when Luke lifts you again. "I'm not finished with you yet, but this next bit will be easier in the bathroom. So you have something to hold onto." He says carrying you into the bathroom. He sets you down facing the large mirror over the sink. "I'd do this in the bedroom but you won't be able to see yourself if I fuck you right up against the mirror." Luke says in your ear and the words send a shiver down your spine. "Place your hands on the mirror sweetheart. Let me show you how badly I crave every inch of you." He says with a hand stroking your ass. You lean forward enough for your warm hands to touch the cool glass. Your eyes follow Luke's in the mirror as they trail over your skin hungrily while he frees himself from his sweatpants. He wastes no time sinking into you with a groan and though he gave no warning you moan at the stretch of him filling you. The look on his face as he settles into your heat can only be described as euphoric and it's one you could never get tired of seeing on him. After a moment his eyes peel open again and catch yours in the reflection. He gives you a smirk before his hands tighten against your hips and he sets a rhythm that explains why you needed something to hold onto. His thrusts are harsh and deep and have moans spilling uncontrollably from your lips. Luke's eyes are locked on yours in the mirror as he fucks you. "God you're beautiful, perfect, you've got the- prettiest eyes that sparkle when you laugh, and look so good rolling back when I make you cum." He hums.

"Oh Luke." You moan part of that was sweet, part if it made your walls clench around his dick.

"You're perfectly soft for hugging or cuddling and it doesn't hurt that I have plenty to hold onto when I wanna fuck you stupid." Luke says and if he weren't currently doing just that you might've laughed at his words, but the moaning makes it hard. "If I could spend all my days wrapped in your arms, buried in your heat- you have no idea how quickly I'd do it." You can feel your cheeks heating up from his, mostly, sweet words, so contrasting from the way he's railing you. "God I love you so much." He groans.

"I- I love you too Luke, more than- more than you know." You pant out.

"Fuck I'm close." He grits out. One of his hands wraps around your waist and finds your clit. It doesn't take much, a few well focused circles of your sensitive bundle of nerves and you're shaking as your orgasm hits, your walls clamping down so tightly around Luke's dick it pulls his orgasm from him too. His hips stop flush against yours as hot spurts flood your inner walls. You practically slump against the bathroom counter as the waves of your release die down. You're not quite sure how he manages but Luke turns you around and lifts you in his arms again somehow without fully pulling out of you. He walks you both over to the bed and lays down with you on top of him, soft dick still buried in your heat. Luke lifts your head from his chest to get your attention.

"I love every part of you with all that I am." He says.

"Thank you. I love you too." You say softly.

"I know insecurities are no easy battle but, yours is a body the Greeks would build statues for. It pains me that you see yourself as less than idolized."

"I'll admit it's much harder to feel that way when you react like this."

"Well I'll just have to make a habit of it then." He kisses your forehead.

"I- can't say I'm opposed to that suggestion." You hum.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And where we on food? Did your appetite come back any?" He asks, hand stroking soothingly down your back.

"Yeah but- I'm too tired to move." You mumble into his chest and he laughs.

"Don't worry I won't make you get up now. I'm sure after a nap your body will convince you to get up and eat, until then let's just lay here."

"Perfect that's exactly what I planned to do." You sigh as you snuggle closer to him. Maybe your insecurities will beat your ass every once in a while, but you smile knowing Luke will be there to fight them with you and that is more than enough for you.

***

[jeankluv]

Birdie - Satoru Gojo | Chapter 21

words: 3,9k

summary:While everyone adored him, you stood apart in your feelings. It wouldn't be accurate to say you hated him, as " hate " was a strong word, rather, you harbored a profound dislike towards him. The problem was he knew that and his irritating presence seemed to persistently cling to you whenever he crossed your paths. Now, you found yourself paired with him for your semester project, and the thought made you wish to hurl yourself out of the third-floor window. Three months of working alongside him loomed ahead. Adding to the discomfort, you were currently under the scrutiny of hundreds of eyes, each gaze feeling like a murder attempt. It seemed everyone coveted the opportunity to collaborate with Gojo Satoru, except for you.

warning this chapter: injuries, hospital, abusive behavior

tags:modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball, Gojo needs a hug

notes: hi, I’m even embarrassed of posting after so long but I’m sooooo busy and I don’t find time to write. Also I said Birdie was going to last till chapter 30 but tbh I think it will reach at least chapter 25, we are in the final part of the story for Satoru and Birdie. The final part of this chapter and the next one are going to be somehow the breaking point for the story. I don’t want to extend the story bc it would feel repetitive and I don’t want to add drama to this story bc it was never my intention with this one, this one was more like a college romcom.

jujutsu Kaisen materialist | ao3

materialist | previous chapter | next chapter

“So are you sure you won’t be able to go?” Kyoko asked you.

“Yeah…” You said leaving the books on the table. “Haibara’s sister can’t go, she is getting ready for her college exams and Haibara has the match.” You shrugged. “I told Satoru and even though he is a bit sad, he says that once the summer breaks begins he will make sure to spend time together.”

“Is he taking you somewhere?” Kyoko smiled. 

“He doesn’t want to tell me, but I think he is planning something with Suguru…” You looked at her, closing your eyes a little bit. “So tell me… what do you know?”

“I don’t know much, but I saw on Suguru’s phone something about Okinawa.” She smiled. “Have you been to Okinawa?”

“No, but it’s beautiful, right?” 

“So beautiful.” She smiled. “Ah! If they are taking us there I might actually pass away, this would be our first trip together as couples.” 

“And also for the two of us together.” You pointed out. 

“It’s true! I’m so excited!” She said with a big smile. “I’m so happy for us.” She said in a nostalgic tone. “I’m so happy to see you opening more, and to see this romantic side of you.” She said. 

You rolled your eyes. “You are just exaggerating things.” 

“Not at all.” She smiled. “And I will see it right now, look who is coming.” 

Your head turned and you saw Satoru coming to where you two were.

“There is…” Kyoko said. “That light that you get when you see him.”

“Kyoko shhh…” You said embarrassed.

Satoru then sat next to you, leaving a soft kiss on your cheek, making you flushed.

“So cute.” Kyoko said with a mocking tone.

“Enough!” You said back.

“But she is right, you are so cute.” Satoru said. “Suguru is not…”

“I know, he is busy. But it’s okay because I’m enjoying seeing my best friend all embarrassed.”

You rolled your eyes as you shook your head. “And why are we still best friends?”

“Whatever…now Satoru why don’t you tell us about Okinawa?” Kyoko narrowed her eyes as she looked closely to Satoru.

“What about Okinawa?!” His voice came out a bit pitchy, it was clear he knew.

“Yeah…” This time you spoke. “Tell us.”

“I don’t know what you two are talking about!” He stood up. “Let’s go, you need to work.” He said leaving both our you there laughing.

“We will have to look out for bikinis.” Kyoko joked.

“I will see you at home.” You waved at her goodbye as you started to walk towards Satoru.

As usual the ride to your work was filled with laughter and new conversations between the both of you, sometimes you wished those rides could last longer because you wanted to know more about Satoru, hear him laugh all the time. Just simply spend time with him. 

Maybe Kyoko was right, maybe you were losing it due to how in love you were.

“Thank you for taking me to work.” You said taking your bag.

“You are my girlfriend, it’s what I should do.” He said.

“Yeah, but there is no need ‘Toru…” You responded.

“Whatever, I know tomorrow you won’t be there.” He looked to the back seats, searching for something. “And it makes me sad, because I wanted to see you with this and I wanted everyone to see you wearing it, but here you have it.” He gave you a bag.

“What is this?” You said with a small smile on your lips and looking at him. “Oh! Satoru!” 

“It has my name on it.” He smiled proudly.

“But I won’t be there.” You said, with a sad smile and touching his name on the shirt.

“It doesn’t matter, I want you to have it.” He said. “You can always wear it while you are working. That way everyone knows who is your favorite player.”

You smiled, ready to tease him. “Then, you got the wrong name.” 

“Huh?” 

“It should say Nanami here.” You tried not to burst into laughter as you watched his expression.

“Oh birdie, don’t tease me or else, you will be late for work.” He grabbed your chin and looked at you with desire.

You smiled and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. I will make sure to wear it.” 

“Okay.” He then kissed your lips. “I will see you.” You hummed in response. “Love you.”

“I love you too.” You said leaving the car and waving at him goodbye. 

You watched as Satoru disappeared in his car down that street. Tomorrow was a big day for him and the entire team. You couldn't be there to support him physically, but you hoped that wearing his shirt during the game while you worked would serve as a lucky charm.

Satoru Gojo POV

Satoru moved his arms as he warmed up. There were about 15 minutes left before the match started. Normally he didn't get nervous, but at that moment Satoru felt something strange. Something that had been bothering him since that morning.

His phone vibrated on his pocket, making him drop his arms to the side and taking the phone out.

A smile appeared on Satoru’s face as soon as he read the notification that popped out on his screen.

It was just two words and one emoji, but it was enough to make him happy and for that strange sensation to disappear from his check. 

“Good luck 🫶”

He stayed staring at that screen for quite some time, finally your classes were ending next week. The project he fight so much to get paired with you, was due on Wednesday and after that you were both free from your classes until the next course, the last one. 

You still needed to work during the summer, but Satoru had everything planned, he was going to make sure that was the best summer for both of you. 

With his blue eyes still locked on the screen he started typing: I wish you were here—

“How cute, the captain all flustered by someone.” Satoru stopped typing as soon as he heard that voice.

“Sukuna…” He said looking at his ex colleague standing in the door. “This is not your team’s room, leave.”

“Why? Can’t I say hi to my dear captain?” He said with a smirk. “I heard you got a girlfriend and that she is not coming today.” 

“That’s none of your business.” Satoru turned around, breaking the eye contact with Sukuna. 

“I hope that’s not a distraction for you.” He kept on talking. “I won’t hold myself up.”

“Sukuna leave…” Satoru said between his teeth. “Or you want what happened last year to happen again?”

“Don’t play silly Gojo.” Sukuna walked towards Satoru. “And don’t threaten me, I won’t be nice today.”

“Ryomen, what are you doing here?” Yaga appeared on the door.

“Oh coach!” Sukuna acted surprised. “Just wishing Gojo good luck for today’s match.” He smiled, as if he was innocent. “Anyways, I will leave you alone, see you in a few minutes Gojo.” 

With that Sukuna disappeared from the room, leaving Satoru and Yaga alone. “Gojo…”

“Nothing, you know Sukuna, he only came here to bother me.” Satoru said. “He is still mad about what happened last year.”

“You know it was not your fault Sukuna was kicked out right?” Yaga said, approaching him.

“Doesn’t matter anymore, now there is a match to win. It’s the end of the season, remember coach?” He smiled passing by Yaga’s side. 

Before Satoru knew it, the clock had started ticking and the sound of shoes, hair and the screams of the fans filled his ears.

Satoru moved fluidly around the court, leading his teammates and setting up plays with precision. His blue eyes always following the ball. The pace of the game was intense, each possession feeling like a battle as the score went up point by point. 

But Sukuna was relentless. Every time Satoru touched the ball, Sukuna was there, pressing hard on defense, Satoru had noticed how his eyes sparkled with mischief and some darkness in them. But Satoru remained composed and continued with the game, keeping his cool even as Sukuna’s taunts echoed around him. 

“Are you sure you’re focused, captain?” Sukuna taunted as they collided mid-game, their shoulders colliding with a force that made the crowd gasp. “Or are you too distracted thinking about your kitty?” Sukuna laughed mockingly. 

Satoru didn’t answer, instead he headed for the basket, evading Sukuna and scoring a perfect shot. The crowd erupted into an uproar and his teammates cheered, clapping him on the back, but he could still feel Sukuna’s gaze on him. Satoru couldn’t hide his anger, his fists and jaw clenched, as he remembered how Sukuna had referred to you. 

During a timeout, Suguru pulled Satoru aside, his voice low but firm. “Don’t let it go to your head. This is just another game. Focus on your game plan, not Sukuna.”

Satoru nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m fine, Suguru…” But he wasn’t, he could feel the familiar spark of rivalry growing. A part of him knew that Sukuna was trying to distract him, but another part, one he couldn't ignore, was determined to show Sukuna that he couldn't be defeated. 

As the final quarter began, the game was very evenly matched. Both teams were racing with adrenaline from one side to the other, exhaustion taking over as each second passed.

But then everything shifted.

Satoru had the ball in his hand when he felt how Sukuna came running to him. Sukuna launched himself at him from the side, his shoulders slamming hard into Satoru’s ribs. 

The force of the blow was intense, unexpected, and he immediately felt blinding pain shoot through Satoru’s body. He staggered, his vision blurred, and within seconds he collapsed to the court, overcome with pain. His head hit the ground, and Satoru started to feel how everything around him began to darken and his name was being called in the distance.

Your POV

You look at the clock that was on the wall as you waited for the lady to give you the money. The match was probably over by know.

You were anxious to know the result and excited to see Satoru’s smiling face telling you they won. 

Your eyes were again on the old lady who was in front of you and who carefully was counting each penny she had on her hands to give you the payment. 

“Here you go.” The old woman said with a smile. 

You offered her a polite smile and gave her her bag with what she bought. “Thank you for coming.” 

The store was once again empty, it was just you and the sound of the machines that store the food as a distant sound. You pulled your phone out from your pocket, expecting excited messages from Satoru and from Kyoko. But you were met with a black screen, your old phone was dead, it ran out of battery without you noticing it. 

A sighed escaped from your lips as you went to the employee’s room and searched for the cable to charge your phone. 

Leaving aside the present you were going to give Satoru once he was there you carefully connected the phone and left it on the side when you heard the noise of the door opening.

Maybe it was him. He came?

You stepped outside the room, expecting to see the white hair of Satoru shining brightly under the lights of the store. But your smile quickly dropped when you saw Haibara and Nanami’s face.

Normally you would be excited but the look on their faces was telling you otherwise.

Before you could speak, Nanami spoke. “Something happened.” 

Something cold run through yourself as Nanami’s words sank on your chest. “What…?”

Haibara called out your name as he approached you. “You need to leave with Kento. I will stay here don’t worry.” 

Your mind was raising, confused and with thousand of questions popping. Nanami took your arm and without a word he guide you to his car. 

“Wait…” You said before entering. “What happened? What’s going on?”

“Hayashi didn’t send you a message?” Nanami asked.

“My phone died, it ran out of battery… doesn’t matter! Why did Kyoko send me a message? What is going on?” You exploded.

“It’s Gojo.” You knew you were losing your strength. “He had an accident during the match.” 

An accident? What?

“He is at the hospital right now…” He continued, but you could only hear him far away from you. Until he called you back. “Geto and Hayashi are there and our coach is also there. But Haibara and I came to pick you.”

“Is he… is he okay?” You trembled, scared of knowing the answer.

“I don’t know, he didn’t look good when they took him out of the match.” The air that was on your lugs once again disappeared as you listened to Nanami’s words.

“But how…? How did it happened?”

“It was a player from another team, he had problems in the past with Gojo and… he took it out today with Gojo.” Nanami explained. “He was unconscious when they took him, Geto asked as to come here for you and take you straight to the hospital.”

You nodded, shaking as every word started to process one by one in your mind. “Yeah… we should get going.”

The car ride was silent, your leg moved up and down as you felt how the suffocating knot that had formed in your stomach now settled in your body, practically leaving you without breathing. You had too many questions, but none of them came out of your lips, it was almost as if you didn't have enough strength to articulate a word.

The ride seemed endless, each second felt longer than the last. Every breath felt shallow and your mind was racing, like you were one of those Formula 1 cars, you were terrified to know its condition and completely angry towards the person who had done this to Satoru.

You felt Nanami’s eyes staring at you and then his voice echoed in the car. “We will be there soon… Captain Gojo is strong…” He whispered the last part as if he was a reminder for himself too.

You slightly nodded, still anxious and distressed. 

When you arrived you didn’t even wait for the car to stop before exiting and running towards the entrance of the emergency room. Nanami’s voice called your name but you didn’t pay attention to him, you searched for some familiar faces, you needed to know his state. See him.

The pulse in your heart went straight to your ears when you saw Kyoko and Suguru’s silhouette not far from where you were. You were afraid of getting closer and hearing what they knew. 

“Oh…” Kyoko gasped when she saw you. “You are here!” She hugged you. “I tried calling you but it said it was off.”

“My phone, it ran out of battery…” You whispered against her. “Kyoko, what…”

“He is stable now…” Suguru spoke this time, his voice was shaky. “They gave him painkillers for his rib and the contusion on the head was not serious. He will be okay.”

You nodded. “How did it happened?” You asked Suguru.

“It was an ex-team member… he… he got in a fight with Satoru last year and after that he got kicked out of the team.” Suguru explained. “And today…” 

“Is he crazy?” You said. “Hurting someone over a…”

“It’s okay…” Kyoko tried to calm you down.

“You can go in.” Suguru said. “I’m sure that he will be glad to see you once he wakes up.”

As you followed Suguru’s steps to the room where Satoru was, Kyoko never once let your hand go. Giving you the support you desperately need it. As you stood in front of the door, you opened with shaky hands and entered it. It was completely quiet and Satoru was in the hospital bed, sleep.

You felt the sensation in your stomach growing bigger as you got closer to the bed. Studying his face, you noticed how it was paler than usual, you felt a pang of sadness as you noticed that.

Satoru was always smiling, cheerful, radiant and now… he was there, in a hospital bed, unconscious. 

Your trembling fingers touched his white snowy hair. “Satoru…” You gently whispered, hoping for your nickname you used to hate so much to come out of his mouth.

But nothing happened, the only sound in the room was the monitors tracking his heart rate. You held his hand and sat next to him. 

Minutes started to pass as you kept on waiting for him to come back to you. You leaned forward, resting your head on the edge of his bed and closing your eyes to breathe in his familiar scent, calming your nerves. Despite the worry that was gnawing at you, the steady beat of his heart brought you a small comfort, a reminder that he was still there.

Last time you were in a hospital was when your grandma was about to pass away. You never liked hospitals, those white walls reminded you of back when you were little after the accident with your mother. Now you knew what happened and that dislike was only bigger. 

It was like you were always in a position where you had to see your loved ones suffering. Suguru said he was going to be okay, but despite that you were scared, scared of the possibility of losing him. 

You knew that your love was going fast but for some reason you felt like it was meant to be, that it was the type of love you would find in books, in films, in songs. 

“Satoru…” You whispered once again, squishing his hand. “Please come back, come back to me.” 

Your eyes began to grow heavy as the door softly opened, a man and a woman entering the room. Their expressions were neither warm nor eager, but reserved, almost cold. You swallowed hard as their gazes fell on you, you felt like they were analyzing you completely with those looks, they were almost telling you that you didn't deserve to be in that place. You didn't hesitate for a second to know who they were, they were Satoru's parents, but unlike Satoru, the gaze of those two people lacked warmth. Their gazes moved to stop at your hand that held Satoru's. 

The woman's eyes narrowed slightly and her lips pressed into a thin line as she watched you at her side. 

"Are you... Satoru's friend?" His mother finally asked, with a sharp tone that almost froze your blood. She barely waited for your nod before pressing her lips together even more. “I didn’t expect my son to have *guests*,” she continued, a subtle disdain in her voice. “Especially considering the kind of company he usually keeps.”

Her husband nodded slightly, giving you a subtle look. “I’m sure you’re… worried about him.” He said. “But this is a family matter. You’d better leave.”

The disdain was clear in his words, and the pain of it cut deep. Satoru’s parents clearly saw you as an outsider, someone who didn’t deserve to be here during such a crucial time. You hesitated, looking back at Satoru, unsure if you should let go of his hand. 

But the sight of him lying there, pale and vulnerable, hardened something inside you. Satoru had been there for you when you needed him most, you weren’t about to leave now, especially not when you knew of the abusive behaviors of those two people towards Satoru. 

With a calm breath, you looked up and met the icy gaze of his mother. “With all due respect, I’m not leaving. Satoru means a lot to me and I’ll be here when he wakes up.”

You held his hand a little tighter, feeling both protective and defiant. You would stay, no matter what they thought. Satoru was there because of someone else's cruelty, and you were determined to be there when he opened his eyes, to be the face that reminded him that he was loved, even if his own parents couldn't see the strength of the bond you shared.

His father laughed slightly, a laugh that could be straight from a villain. “Don’t tell me you are the real reason why our son is refusing to leave that stupid degree…”

You blinked slowly, as your mouth parted trying to talk. “What…?”

This time Satoru’s mother moved closer to you, with her arms crossed in her chest and her lips still in a thin line. “We told Satoru he should focus on the family business, think about what the family needs and he still refused and acted like a little kid. But apparently he prefers to throw that away for…” She took a lock of your hair and looked at you with those cold eyes, which although in color resembled Satoru's, everything else was completely unknown. “For someone like you.”

You felt how you were getting slapped across the face with those sharp words. “I’m sorry, but with all the respect. Satoru is his own person, who is capable of making his decisions and chooses what makes him happy. If you pay attention to him you would know he…”

Satoru’s father's laugh cut you off, leaving you muted as that laugh filled the room. “You are playing with fire, you know? Satoru has the potential to be one of the best lawyers and own the market within a few years, and position our family at the top. But you appeared and as stubborn he is now suddenly he is not listening to us. And look at him, here laying down in a hospital bed because he was probably too distracted thinking about you to pay attention to the game.”

The blood on your veins started to boil as those words hit you. “Satoru is doing what he wants, which makes him truly happy. He is not someone to bow for someone else's desires.”

“People could never understand what it means to be part of a family like ours.” This time his mother spoke. 

Your heart pounded with anger on your chest, you didn’t want to show them any weakness but it was becoming harder with each passing moment. 

“You came to the party with our son right?” His mother spoke once again. “It was not difficult for us to track you down…” Your eyes narrowed. “No family, works in a grocery store and you are on scholarship.”

“I have a family…”

“Dead…”

If you could describe what you were seeing at that moment it was red, just red. Your whole self was full of anger, your heart was racing on your chest, while you were trying to calm yourself down. 

This time Satoru’s time spoke. “You think he will thank you for this someday? For being the reason why he is wasting his potential.”

It was one after the other, one punch after another. You always felt you were a strong person, who didn’t let yourself bow down for anyone, but at that moment you were feeling like they threw you at the lions and there was nothing you could do. 

You strongly closed your eyes, trying to stop any tear that was trying to come out.

“Leave…” A voice sounded in the room and you felt how your heart started to warm again, as if was coming back to life.

— comment if you want to be tagged

🏷️: @lavender-hvze , @crybabytoru , @sanriosatoru , @norvacaine , @sadmonke , @faetoraa , @hexipessimistic , @gojoful , @kitzusune , @sh0jun , @manyno , @ropickle , @anniegojo , @milk3evee , @crunchypotatoooooooooo , @catobsessedlady , @zoeyflower , @starlostwish , @tinydonkeysforlife , @mimisq11341 , @n1vi , @olanii1019 , @vtrulvamp , @yjuisu

[dairymistress05]

My thoughts on the Luke and gf situation. It’s long so bear with me. Also, I want to preface this by saying that this is my opinion, because I don’t know them personally my opinion and many others that have been posting about it doesn’t actually matter in the end.

With everything that has happened in the last several days, I wanted to reflect and discuss my thoughts. First, 2 things that are baffling to me.

1. Why is it so difficult for people to separate the art from the artist?

2. Why do people think their opinion is important to the discussion?

Believe it or not the only people that are allowed to have an opinion in Luke’s relationship, are those who are directly involved

I honestly can’t believe the amount of people that I am seeing saying things like this ruined the show or makes you not believe anything. They’ve been telling us all along, he and Nicola that they were just friends. Do I have an opinion as to why I may not believe that that’s completely true? Sure. Does my opinion matter matter at all? No. This is the thing, it’s unbelievable that people think they can go on the Internet and bash this person because they decided to live a life different from what they projected in their head. Para social relationships with celebrities are fascinating. Also, the internet is forever.

Tom Holland once said “if you have a problem with me, text me, and if you don’t have my number, you don’t know me well enough to have a problem with me.” And I think that’s a perfect example of why this is getting so out of hand. No one on the Internet posting their icks now knows Luke well enough to have a problem with him.

As a 38-year-old married woman myself, I haven’t been convinced there wasn’t anything going on as they are extremely touchy-feely friends. However, there were rumours about a girlfriend and then when the photos came out well then I guess that confirms it. Do I think that’s the end of it, No, but again my opinion doesn’t matter. But there are also several factors why even if Luke and Nicola were interested in each other why they would hold off. Their work relationship being paramount among those reasons.

As for the photos, as an outside observer who has seen Nicola help him through his anxiety this press tour I don’t feel that was a hard launch. He seems extremely uncomfortable in those photos. His body language is off if it was an intentional launch on his part. He’s walking ahead, even the handholding seems awkward. However, the girlfriend unfortunately looks extremely smug, smiling directly into the cameras. I am personally inclined to believe that it was her or a friend of hers who called it in because he doesn’t seem prepared to be photographed. I’m not sure what to think about their relationship as of yet but these photos don’t portray a lot of confidence. Also, the age difference seems like it could become an issue but the thing I would worry about becoming an issue is the social media presence mismatch that is pretty obvious. Sorry, even if I was a dancer I would not want to be posting some of those videos, as I said, the internet is forever.

Lastly, the only other person whose opinion maybe matters is Nicola herself and she has come out to post several times all in defence of him and his character. She is obviously seeing all of the hate online and saying hey guys stop it. I like him. He’s nice. He’s my friend. Quit being mean. And I’ve seen some people say that it’s all Nicola and he doesn’t reciprocate when she’s posting about him and blah blah blah I disagree and here’s why the other day on his IG stories, and I can’t believe no one is talking about this, he posted a photo of a scene from episode 6 to remind people that it’s now streaming and maybe I’m reading too much into it, but the photo he posted he is exactly when Colin is telling Penelope “I won’t let her ruin our night“. (Photo attached) Who is her? I don’t know. But I also don’t think that things on social media are coincidence, especially if you’re a celebrity posting because they know that everybody over everything. And then I also found it quite interesting that he posted on his stories the speech he gives Portia about proposing out of love nothing less and that’s where the real cut off. So again, I think it’s intentional to show appreciation for his friend.

Some final thoughts, I definitely feel like there is a strong connection there whether it’s just friendship or not. I think a lot of people posting online are putting a lot of the owners on him, but what if Nicola didn’t want to date someone that is so much younger than her? What if she doesn’t wanna date at all right now? What if they agreed that? Although there’s a strong connection work relationship is more important right now because of future seasons of the show? We don’t know them. We don’t know the situation and act like you’re devastated about two people that you don’t know not in a relationship seems rather silly.

The only thing I would worry about in this whole situation, is if this relationship with the girlfriend will sour the friendship. Like if it was her who called the paparazzi will she still be comfortable with her boyfriend being in this type of public friendship with Nicola? I sincerely hope so because they seem to have something special even if it is just platonic best friends. Their close friendship is part of the reason Polin works so well on screen.

Anyway, agree or disagree, just my two cents.

I would love to know your thoughts.

[yukishirostar]

So people are talking about a post in the Zolu tag by a certain tumblr user in regards to their issues with Zolu as a ship. They shall be unnamed because i dont wish to bring attention to them and instead just want to focus on their arguments because they're not the first people to make some of these points and so this is also an opportunity for me to talk about these things (a tweet is going around on Twitter containing these screenshots with the username so you can find it there if you need to anyway).

The way this person dismisses the relationship between Zoro and Luffy as a result of needing to pair gay Zoro with someone is too laughable, they must be very fit in order to be able to do these mental gymnastics. I believe that many people who are going on about the Zolu scenes in the OPLA were already Zolu shippers who were familiar with the original story and are enjoying the moments because they were well, really good Zolu moments? And there is actually, shockingly, many good Zolu moments in the original story too which is why many people ship them. Wild, I know.

Then there's 'straight-washed Sanji'. Equally if not more of a bizarre thing to believe. I might make some people mad especially the Sanji stans out there who constantly insist on the 'repressed queer' narrative with his character, but Sanji is written pretty explicitly to be seen as a cisgender and heterosexual character. The way you say with your whole chest that Luffy is 'canonically' aroace but don't acknowledge that Sanji is 'canonically' cishet is beyond hypocritical. If you believe Sanji looking like a 'misogynistic straight man' is different from the way he is written in canon then maybe you should go back and reread/rewatch series with your eyes open this time. If you wish to headcanon him with the frankly offensive repressed bisexual/transgender cliché then go ahead, but that is clearly not the intention Oda has with his character.

There's also the fact that aroace people can uh. Be in relationships. Get married. Have children. Did it occur to you that many people who ship Zolu ship them as an ace couple or-

First thing I want to say here, as a trans man who is 'mlm', can other dudes stop with this idea that women or fem-aligned individuals enjoying homosexual relationships between two men is inherently fetishising or that as a masc-aligned individual your enjoyment of a ship is morally superior in some way. Stop pulling out your 'mlm/ transmasc / cis gay' card in order to justify why your ship is superior. Its cringe af.

But if we are to insist that 'cishet female gaze fetishising mlm' is going on then ironically Zosan fits that the better than any ship in the fandom. It being by far the most popular mlm ship means there is likely a higher proportion of people who identify as cishet women who ship it. Its also the classic 'two men who dislike/hate eachother and have a toxic relationship but hot sexual tension' slash/yaoi stereotype. Majority of Zosan I've come across is depicting Zoro as the masculine male man in the relationship while Sanji the effeminate twink that Sanji stans project themselves onto and they go crazy for the bickering that is apparently reminiscent to them of a toxic heterosexual marriage. Meanwhile every Zolu/Luzo shipper I've interacted with has been some flavour of queer and Zolu is closest to the 'falling in love with your same sex bestie' narrative that the majority if not every non-heterosexual person has experienced at least once in their lifetime. This is just my personal view of course, but I think noting a difference in perspective on this topic is interesting and reveals that at the end of the day this is totally subjective and based purely on anecdotes.

Also it's just a very weird point here that apparently OP has 'plenty of varied queer rep' (it actually doesn't have that many canonical queer characters in relation to its cast size but anyway) and other media doesn't so shipping aroace characters in gay relationships is valid in those but not in One Piece … HUH???? So you're saying if One Piece had 'less' queer rep, then Zolu would be fine to ship? Idek my brain hurts.

"I have black friends so I'll speak for the black community and get offended for them" (btw this person then proceeded to block aroace people who had issues with their depiction of aroace people).

Also if we're talking canonical depictions, the only thing Zoro has been canonically depicted as is also aroace, equally if not moreso than Luffy. So by your own rules, you can't ship a cishet (sanji) with an aroace (zoro), therefore Zosan is now invalid. Stop erasing Zoro's aroace identity bigot.

'Categorically wrong' makes me laugh. I don't ship Zoro and Nami but like, people can ship what they want to??

'The general public is aware enough of gay people and how to spot them these days' uh... firstly this sounds very homophobic. Secondly the general public (cishet ppl) are famously bad at recognising queerness even when its in flashing lights before them. Thirdly you make it sound like Zoro was going around on roller skates and booty shorts listening to YMCA and Madonna in the show. I do agree he was gay-coded but it was mostly because he had sexual tension with every man he interacted with, not for the strange reasons you pointed out...

Its kinda the elephant in the room too but like. These are just headcanons. You can have multiple headcanons and interpretations of a character's sexuality. I can see Zoro as aroace virgin one day and a gay h*e the next. I'm actually allowed, legally, to do that.

The way they think shipping Zolu is harmful to aroace representation when BOTH characters are closest to being canonically aroace than anything yet ship Zosan, label being anti-Zolu as some kind of pro-ace activism, and then proceeded to block aroace people for criticising their incorrect depiction of what being aroace is...

This was a lot of words to say that you don't like a ship. Just say you don't like it, and it gets in the way of the ship you like, instead of writing a virtue signalling essay to justify your reasoning. Please.

They had some more to say on future posts I'll just pick my favourite bits

They really have this narrative that Zolu is only popular because of OPLA and can't fathom that its just a popular ship in general and always has been huh. And they couldn't make it more obvious that they're totally salty about it ranking in the top 100 most popular tumblr ships, lmao.

Your classic case of 'self-identifying ally who speaks over the people they are supposed allies of'. Its a general rule that you feel the need to declare yourself an ally you're probably not an ally, actual allies know they need to just shut up and do the work. Saying 'this character's aroace' and 'I have aroace friends' actually isn't what allyship is, thats just accepting that ace people exist which is like... the baseline.

Calling a wholesome loving ship like Zolu an icky ship is a severe consequence of online brain (this person is 26 years old btw)

[balteus]

Elden Ring SOTE and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

//j (spoilers ahead)

I'm gonna be honest initially my opinions on the story were pretty mixed, and while that still is the case in some respect, the overall story and its implications have grown on me and made me like certain characters (mohg, malenia, radahn) even more, and add a layer of tragedy to what we know about them from the base game. while i am aware the story overall was forced to bend by the gamedev crunch, I think FS did a good job with the time and resources they had available.

caveats of this post: obviously going to be colored by my own opinions and views I've held abt the story since abt march 2022: that being, Marika is a Nashandra parallel through and through, and Miquella is a benevolent but manipulative hypocrite - "Path to hell is paved with good intentions" the character. I'm aware there's plenty of discourse about the interpretations of these characters but just remember: I have never been wrong ever in my entire life <3

Malenia, despite her overall lack of appearance in the DLC, I personally feel the most about given certain... revelations.

Malenia is a character who has always lacked true agency, lived her life in a state of fighting against the inevitable and looking up for anything to alleviate her suffering and help her push through the sheer horror that was her fate. Very much a white-knuckle-gripping the dirt while drowining in her grave kind of character.

And so... SOTE reveals that Miquella was willing to sacrifice her. It reveals that for all his posturing, his leaving the golden order because of her, Miquella was fully willing to throw his own little sister who looked up to him as a lord and savior, to the wolves. He was willing for her to become the thing she hated most, was willing to order her to do it even, if it meant his plan would inch one step closer to fruition. In sending her to fight against Radahn and which consequently led to her bloom and ultimate decay. and it didn't even work. Malenia lived and fought and died never knowing that her ultimate mission was a failure, that in her blinding loyalty, much like her father's, she destroyed herself. The fearsome "Blade of Miquella" herself, and the dream of her healing she had once shared with her brother, was discarded as easily as a butter knife.

Radahn, on the other hand... man. Isn't it funny how upon being told that Miquella awaited him in his death, the man straight up refused to die for centuries? The entire Radahn festival becomes recontextualized once you realize that Radahn would rather let himself become a rotting, shambling, mindless corpse before he allowed himself to become a part of Miquella's plan. I know some people think he was willingly taking part in the vow - but remember, Radahn had to die for the vow to be fulfilled, as we learn - and knowing everything we do about him - would Radahn abandon the Redmanes, Sellia, the entire Caelid, the land he fought the stars over - would he let them be destroyed for Miquella? He gains absolutely nothing from that transaction.

I get discourse-y here but his death is anything but a warrior's one, if you take that to be the promise Miquella made to him in return. Perhaps in the grand scheme of things, you could say that you're putting base game Radahn to rest, but with the context of the DLC, you're subjecting him to a fate worse than death.

Mohg. Not much to say abt him I'm just really happy Mohgposting is legal now <3 Free my man he did nothing wrong the blood cult was based and mohgpilled actually.

[hoiststowline]

hits different

ultra magnus x female!reader

orginally posted on my ao3 here! tw: mentions of claustrophobia and arachnophobia.

There's a brief moment where Magnus considers it may have been a horrible idea to ask you to accompany him for this mission. While he regularly seeks out your company, it seemed like second nature to assume you'd want to tag along, but your hesitation was evident, even if you tried to hide it. Magnus knew you better than you thought, optics dimming at your jumbled words, eventually circling back to the original question. 

"Yeah, sure. Why not." He observes how your tiny fingers furl into fists and then unclench, knuckles kissed red by the winter weather. "Sounds good to me."

Magnus wants to tell you that you don't have to come if there's elsewhere you had plans to be. However, he finds it difficult as his processor leaps for joy, a vast contrast to his stern outward expression. He's finding it harder and harder to uncover things that cause him excitement anymore, so much time lost between his servos that he cannot scrounge back up. If he can spend a couple of Earth hours with you alone, he'd take what he could get with stride. 

During the drive to the cave system, you had been unnaturally quiet. You were obviously off-put by something, but Magnus had yet to extricate the premise, himself stoic and unsure in how to proceed. You had his trust, and he, yours, but he understood oftentimes he appeared unapproachable. 

"Is it...like really far inside?" It's the first question you've asked regarding the energon deposit, voice just above a whisper. He could almost compare you to a mouse, timid as you struggle to match his stride even in his slow gait. At your inquiry, he looks down at the top of your head, but you keep your gaze fixated on the caverns ahead. 

"I do not think so, but I cannot be certain." He answers, heavily concerned now. "What is the matter, y/n? Do you not feel up to par?" 

You fumble with the strings of your sweatshirt, sneakers kicking up dirt as you nearly trip, but catch yourself. At this, Magnus makes a noise in the back of his throat, but ex-vents as you righten. "I'm fine." You sniff, hands now stuffed inside your hoodie's pockets. "I kinda maybe sorta dislike closed-off spaces, but I'm fine." 

Magnus freezes, pedes halting as you nearly breeze past, stopping just ahead of him as you turn to look his way. "Pardon?"

"Oh, you're cruel to make me say it again." Your shoulders jump to your ears, then fall as a shrug of sorts. "I wanted to hang out with you, but I hate this. I feel closed in and I know just about every species of spider lives in here."

He's unamused, rightfully so, as this is new information to him. The knowledge of a fear of spiders isn't, but he's come to find arachnophobia is a common trepidation to humans. It's never crossed his mind that you had other paranoias and fears, but such a topic wouldn't come up naturally in conversation. 

"I see." Magnus rumbles, now understanding your avid atypical voicelessness, wanting to quell that fear that he knows is sitting like a pit in your stomach. "I owe you an apology then, my intentions were not for you to be afraid,"

"No, no apology needed. It's my fault, I should have just said so." You should not feel any ounce of fear with a mech like Ultra Magnus at your left, however, that gnawing feeling still comes in fleeting passes. 

"What would you suggest?" He hums, lowering himself to one knee in front of you. "I can take you home, or we can cease for now and I shall return later?" 

The toe of your sneaker runs along the dirt, shy all of a sudden as you look up at him with a small pout. "Continuing isn't an option?"

His shoulders sink in a defeated manner, unsure of what you mean. "I am not understanding your request, y/n. I thought you wanted to leave?"

"I guess I'm still scared, but it's a little less when I'm with you." Voice small, your colorful irises meet his cerulean optics with a glimmer of something he cannot describe. "We're already here, no point in turning around now."

"If it gives you discomfort, there's assuredly good reason to turn back." The way he looks at you makes your head spin. Magnus was rough around the edges, but for some unknown reason, he was always understanding and empathetic with you. You almost didn't want to tell him, but knew the further inside you traversed, the anxiety would begin to swallow you whole. "You aren't disappointing anyone, y/n."

"I'm good." Your palms run over your pants, a motion so you don't have to meet his eyes. "I wanted you to know. It didn't say it to leave, I said it so maybe you could understand my, ah, hesitation." 

Magnus hums, a soft noise that sends a chill straight down the length of your spine. "Very well. I appreciated you disclosing such to me, rest assured it will not be breathed to another soul." 

Most described Ultra Magnus as stuffy and overly formal, the exact opposite of a rule-breaker and in basic terms, boring. You've never found him to be any of those things, preaching about his solicitude and forbearing nature, a true force to be reckoned with. At a glance together, the two of you could generally be compared as exact inverses, your upbeat attitude was no match for his nearly permanent frown, but it was a match made well, a trusted method to the madness you both often found yourselves in. 

"Thanks, Mags." He scoffs at the nickname but pulls a servo free that was previously across his knee. 

"Is there something I can provide to palliate some of your fear?" It's not an odd request, thinking it over for half a second before nodding your head, one of your tell-tale smiles breaking through at his query. Magnus loves your smile, the way your entire face alights with an unimaginable amount of content. 

"Actually," You start, beginning to feel that wariness subside. "There is one thing." 

Your ask was not that much of an ask, rather than an action that Magnus likely would have offered later on in the trip anyway. You've come to sit on his shoulder countless times, and he dares to think he likes you there best because he can better address you, and it's a position that keeps you close to him. Your fingers find their usual spot atop his plating, almost leaning into your touch. 

"For the arachnids?" He muses, sending a small smile your way, now standing to his full height, albeit painfully slow. 

"I'm not thinking about the ones likely above us, so please don't remind me." A breathy laugh escapes your lips, catching his gaze as he continues onwards. "I really do appreciate it, Magnus. Normally people just look at me like I'm crazy and tell me to get over it."

The look he sends you is a mix of confusion and alarm. "You are not crazy, y/n. It's a genuine fear, that is nothing to take lightly." 

Something that hasn't happened in a long while was the kick-on of his cooling fans, the systems whirring to life as you lean over to kiss his cheek gently. The touch is soft, much softer than anything else that's brushed his outer plating, and while it took him by surprise, he hoped he covered it well enough. "Such a gentleman," And it's not a coo, it's a statement, nearly a whisper but wholehearted. 

Ultra Magnus adores you, that is downright obvious to anyone who observes your interactions, but one would have to search a little deeper to discover the reasoning. Upon first contact meeting you, you had nearly fainted, and that is a memory he'd like to permanently remove from his processor as he thought he offlined you. After that initial interaction, it'd be fair to assume you'd want little to do with him, though he was infatuated with you nonetheless. 

It took him with great surprise that you always ended up next to him, nearly standing behind his leg at first as if you were reserved but comfortable around him. Very early on, you had even accidentally touched the back of his knee, and he nearly choked on his sentence. Upon opening up to him, there was little where he would go, that you would not. 

He's heard the comparison of those with kind hearts and the patience of a saint. Primus knows that you've put up with his bluntness and unfamiliarity with the terrain, a simple gesture that means bounds to him. "Everything okay?" You ask, cocking your head to the side at his faraway look. 

"Of course." Magnus resounds, going to straighten his posture before realizing where you are. "Many thanks." 

His words are so formal sometimes he reminds you of an old professor you've had, gentle but stately. It makes him more attractive in a way, admiring sometimes how he slips up and talks to you with a bit more casualty in his tone, especially when he's exhausted. You wonder if anyone else has seen him in these moments, but then again, it's likely if they have, it wouldn't be something worth advertising. 

"No worries." You smile, quietly tucking your legs underneath you. "How far now, Maggy?"

Now his brow furrows, groaning. "Must you?"

"I must." Nodding, you laugh aloud when you catch him rolling his optics. 

"Another dozen yards or so. You'll be alright?" Taking a deep breath, you silently exhale through your nose. 

"Yessir," He's come to like the feeling of your palms, nearly melting under their minute pressure. "I'll be just fine." 

[yuri-is-online]

Since enough time has passed that I can reasonably assume you saw the Book 7 update, any thoughts on what happened with Kalim and Jamil? It’s certainly interesting how Malleus’s very naive/limited idea of happiness and his lack of understanding of his schoolmates are very much on display here.

The girls are fighting

- 🦐

So I want to get ahead of a few points, namely that "Malleus isn't creating the dreams himself" and I want to point out that while he isn't personally creating each and every detail, when casting the spell he did so with the intention of creating a world in his image of happiness. That means a world where no one knew loss, which he says before using his magic so while it is fair to critique posts like the one I am currently making for claiming "Malleus doesn't know his classmates is putting too much blame on him personally when he isn't tailoring their dreams-"

It isn't exactly because if he did really know his classmates he would understand why his idea of happiness is so flawed, which I think is sort of the idea of the chapter. Malleus does not understand humanity because he is (practically) immortal, and he is actively resistant to it for a variety of reasons, all of which have to do with the fact he is still practically a child. He is experiencing character development because he is growing up, me saying "wow he doesn't understand shit" is not meant to be a personal attack on him it is just me reading the chapter. This bit with Kalim and Jamil really made me think about him weaving a world with no loss into his spell, the dreams are actively removing things that would cause the individual students to experience loss, as a result creating more of it. Kalim loses the real Jamil, but he also loses his gained awareness of the reality of the Scalding Sands's class system. Jamil loses his status as a servant, but he also loses his perspective on life. Going back to the previous dreams, Rook loses Vil's friendship, but gains a world where his idol achieved his dreams. Loss hurts, but it is essential for growth. Malleus hates this because, as he says at the start of Diasomnia, he fails to see why he is so powerful if it doesn't get him what he actually wants. What he wants is Lilia and genuine friendship like he has with Yuu, and his magic can't get him that for real so he's accepting store bought.

Keeping this theme of removing the possibility for loss from people's lives, I'm most curious about what Ruggie and Cater's dreams will be like. Will Ruggie have both his parents? I can't even begin to think about Cater- I think his dream might be genuinely depressing. There's a lot of potential for it to be super disturbing and I kind of hope he gets a card, just because it would suck if his dream was used for comedy. I think that should go to Deuce, I think he should be wearing glasses and using a bunch of big words he doesn't understand and that Ace and Grim should call him a dork.

Speaking of Ace I want his dream to involve Yuu staying in Twisted Wonderland. I am manifesting it, I am begging Miss Yana please, he was so chill about Yuu leaving saying it was a bridge they'd cross when they get there, Miss Yana please I want him to cry. I want him to break down sobbing when he has to admit Yuu can't stay in Twisted Wonderland forever I want his unique magic to manifest in a goddamn dream because of how desperate he is- why are you running and calling emergency services, hello I am so very hinged and not remotely sleep deprived- PLEASE PLEASE PLAESE AKSAJBRGKJRGDRHGJ

[hero-next-door]

Defending Nathan Prescott

(From Every Accusation)

All fact proven & common sense theory

No bullshit.

I suck at grammar. Deal with it.

I've replayed the game far too many times to gather this. I read into everything and even read into and WATCHED people who have suffered the same mental illness and situations Nathan has been in.

What I'll be covering:

Illness, rib breaking, dead animals, bdsm, Chloes pic, Rachel, gun on campus, Kate, Pompidou, Jefferson, wealth and his father.

And dont even THINK about skipping ahead!

Everything here is tied into one another. Read from start to finish. You're on this post to understand, right? Or to argue? Im not here to argue so, bye.

Lets start from the top...

Nathans downfall was caused by society and all who failed him. He's driven by hatred of others who don't understand him, and the game purposly wrote him off that way. They want players to hate him from what sides of the stories we've experienced. They gave this character controversial hobbies and a cynical bully attitude to really keep you suspecting him and not guessing Jefferson. The game isn't about Nathan. It's about Max. We learn so much about Max and everyone close to her. The tears they shed, the pains they've endorsed. Same with Chloe and Rachel's story. My heart goes out to all of them. We don't get to see that with other characters. Therefore, we don't care for them...or that's the games' intentions. We don't know the ins and outs of Nathan. Only what the game shows us, which are all negative. So, of course, disliking Nathan is only reasonable.

Mental Illness

We start with mental illness. He has Psychosis. Lots of proof, but i'm assuming you've seen it all already. Like, do people know what Psychosis is? Do they REALLY know what it is? Because this ALONE changes everything. And not Psychopathy ..Psychosis. Two different things, pookie. Psychopathy is the one where part of the brain is missing or disturbed. THEY'RE the ones that don't have empathy. Psychosis is different. Anybody can get it. This illness can take your empathy and awareness away, then bring it all back after the harm is done, leaving you to process that. Schizo and Bipolar are also all quite a handful to deal with too. Loud Noises/downgrading voices in your head SO LOUD that people will do anything to calm them. (Dont be shy, youtube: "28- Psychotic Episode" by Collège d'Alma) The feeling of loosing your mind is something I notice a lot of haters dont empathize on especially if they killed or hurt sombody. The brain slips into a state so disconnected that interviews with recovering patients I've seen describe it as confusing and scary and dont recall saying the stories they told and actions they did others. Imagine not being able to remember the hurtful things you've said and done. Imagine being told you killed somebody... with your own hands? And you can hardly remember what happened. Like... how would you react? Think about it. Anybody can get psychosis with enough trauma or a kick in the noggin. Some people who were interviewed that had psychosis said that they found relief when getting high or drunk. Little did they know the symptoms could bounce back up to 5x during withdrawal. But they were so desperate to get rid of the voices that they abused the drugs. Like....wow the game really did their research to create such a complicated character. Anyway, moving on.

Edit: After further research, he certainly had bipolar disorder first. Then it went left untreated, therefore sunk him to worse mental state of many other illnesses. Drugs only made things much, much worse. Bipolar disorder can cause schizo and schizo to lead to psychosis. 🙄Jesus Nathan quit hogging all the illnesses.

Now, let's break down everything else...

Shooting Chloe

Just rewatch it. Aims gun, Chloe pushes him, it tightens grip, ACCIDENTLY shoots her, immediately drops gun and gets really scared of he's done, checking to see if she's alive! If you specifically rewatch the ending of Lis1 when Chloe gets shot, they extend his reaction. He goes back and forth, checking her body. If he wanted to kill her, you check pulse and then run. Not sticking around crying about it. There's your empathy you're all saying he doesn't have. Other times where he could have shown more empathy ties with his Psychosis. Some people with the illness said that the voices loudly in their head will convince them that everyone around you is your enemy. Everyone is after you. It can twist your brain to feel anger and fear towards others. Nathan is always hung up on how everyone is using him and trying to control him. Which people ..DO use him. So now he's convinced that everyone is. He's not choosing to feel this way. He just needs psychiatric help.

Breaking Ribs

In Before The Storm, his entire demeanor is completely different than the Lis 1. He's more cowardly and not loud and aggressive. We'll be mentioning his creepy "pervy" binder later. Nathan isn't violent until the end IF you let Nathan get bullied and push his life in a negative direction. Sure, it's not Chloe's responsibility, but this is the game's way of showing you his downfall. We need to remember the game hides scenes and expect you to make up what happened behind the scenes. He broke Samantha's ribs over ..what? She's always so desperate to defend Nathan and even gets upset with Chloe when she doesn't help. So, if you tell her the wrong option to pressure kindness into Nathan, it results in him breaking ribs. How, though? Haters immediately hop online to say cause he's a mean and abusive non-empathic nut head. Are you sure he didn't just push her away, and her clumsiness just fell over? This took place after the play...so he possibly...pushed her off... 😰 She did say she was clumsy. You don't think she would have tried to hug or touch him in any way. Ok ok...calm down... Let's take a step back.. You get this "breaking ribs," ending from letting Nathan get bullied and embarrass himself during the play that his father pressured him about! Adding a little "..fuck you.." to the audience. Showing his start to his villain career and the start of him hating everyone, and you tell Samantha to go hug him!? This is the start of his mental spiral if you let things play out this way. But hurting her with intention? No. Lets tie this in with the other endings to their relationship. You get the clumsy ending. She hurts herself differently, and Nathan is with her in the hospital. Saying how he feels bad that she got hurt. (empathy bell) And they continue yo talk about her photo or whatever. Tie this with the rib one, tie this with the Chloe getting shot incident, and tie this with his mental illness. Come on, do i gotta spell it out for you.. Hurting someone is not what he attends to do. Like he quotes in his voice mail. (Speaking of that voice mail, empathy bell.) He does get angry at Samantha and hurts her, and we as players dont know the full story. But what was playing in his head seconds before and the entirety of the game that led up to this IS the reason why he accidentally hurts her. His anger from the entire game was built up and, unfortunately, released on her. Whatever happened, breaking her ribs was not on his to-do list! And then we have.. The good ending. He sits beside her, smiling.

Oh, wait! He's a little psycho with no human emotion? Psychosis has all parts of the brain attached, pookie. For most cases, It can be cured and helped. I can get it. YOU can get it. He has human emotions when he is at his very rare peaceful moments like with this good ending, when with Victoria ig and other scenes we tend to forget. Because painting him as the villain was the games goal. Jefferson was the plot twist.

Daddy Issues, Smug Talk, and a Gun on campus

Simple guys. Simple. You represent this school. You represent our name. This is a legacy. You will not embarrass me. This isn't about you or your problems!

Sure, YOU wouldn't crumble under that pressure, but Nathan sure did. Sure, child abuse isn't an excuse to "kill" people. But is it the child's fault? Sean-beanbag prescott should be arrested for not taking his boy to the asylum. Instead, he argues with a doctor!? Goofy, bro. But so many people are fueled with anger towards Nathan instead. It's whatever. Prescott, literally being his name, was already a red flag to other characters and chose to hate and bully him over it. Drew hated for what his FATHER did. Nathan did ..what again? Notice how that "rich Malfoy talk" wasn't really present in Before The Storm. Sure he tried to burn Drew with a family financial situation insult but the "Im rich, my father owns everything, I got a lawyer, money this and that" wasn't in his character in the Before the Storm. I believe being a prescott wasn't really in his future goals, and he wasn't ever really passionate about it. It's all in the annoyance in his tone with his father before the play. Lis1 he uses it so often to show that he's the boss and in control. He is influenced by representation for his family/school, wealth, intimidation, and of course hatred and believing everyone hates him. In his mind, everyone is against him, after him, and wants to use him. Again, he doesn't choose to think this way. Let me explain my last sentence clearly, though. Imagine being surrounded by a ton of people. All their attention is on you. They hate who you are. They talk about you. You have a defensless stomach sinking feeling and scared because all these people surrounding you are looking at you and all your insecurities and laughing at you. Well, obviouslysome of that is not going on in reality. But to Nathan, that IS his reality, and he has no control over it. Anyways I shouldn't have to keep explaining mental illness and how it stresses the brain. The bottom line is that his status and waving a gun around is what he thinks keep others out of his head. He can barely throw a punch. He had to use his head on warren, and did you catch when Max hit him in that scene? The dude was literally holding onto his face like he'd been battered. Like she did NOT hit that hard lmao. He's weak. He's always been the same tiny Nathan from before the storm. Just now, he uses masks for intimidation to stop his bullies, and anyone he thinks is "after him." He never meant to use a gun on anybody, just a threat. During the second scene where warren reunited a head butt with Nathan.. If you pull off warren, he barely even aims the gun when he runs away towards his room. Cowardly. He feels that he has to, to protect himself. He also uses his father as a threat, but clearly, that never worked. Also, I noticed him crying when you let Warren get crazy on him? Dudes apologizing and sobing? Guess that's not his first rodeo, rip.

Dead Animals

There is no proof he hurt animals. That's not really like him. He does have a list of illnesses, but Psychopathy isn't one of them. Y'all can keep yappin, but it's not. Clearly NOT one of them. He could have hurt an animal during an unaware episode, but there will not be any awareness behind it. Anyways, there are plenty of artists that do the same thing. Nathan is very passionate about photography and protraying solitary but not in the same way Jefferson does. Jefferson certainly uses that manipulation, but we'll get to that later. There are artists that like to shine on death in a positive light and in sorrow. There's also beauty in anatomy. It's not my cup of tea, but someone close to me can name me all kinds of gross organs and would be down to disect any animal. Yuck. But to them.. its fascinating, and they are the greatest people in my life. In love and in empathy. (NOT comparing my pookie to Nathan, PAUSE.) In anatomy theres Education and surprise. Death is also a theme and style too. Skulls and gore, super "rad" fukin "knarly."

BDSM Skip to (●) next part if needed

Ok.. so he's a little frisky. Y'all need to remember this is a fictional game first, okay? Lol Anyway, I can't defend him much here, but I got something. Firstly, the game WANTS you to suspect Nathan. Can't keep his room pretty and pink. They have to make it freaky and spooky. They paint Nathan as the villian for you to only focus on him as a suspect. So that everyones jaws are dropped with Jefferson twirls in.

Anyway...defending BDSM? This can bring trauma to those who have experienced it negatively or view it negatively. So skip to the Frank defense or read more if you want.

Bdsm relationships are very controversial. Some people see it as unhealthy, abusive, and sick. But if you have talked to or listened to other people within these relationships, they state that its completely consensual, safe, harmless, a breach of deep trust with their partners, and simply a fetish or kink The goal is to have fun at your limit..not pass the limit. There are twisted people who have broken that barrier and made it not fun and abusive. That's where I can't argue. If you feel that way towards the topic, I completely empathize with you.

Nathan has shown in his other photos a black and white theme of solitary. And you can tell that he might have taken those bdsm photos himself. As the quality is almost like the Pompidou photo. Everyone blends him taking bdsm photos with his angry behavior and "non empathic" demeanor. But this is where I loop back to Before The Storm hugging-my-binder Nathan. It's shown that in one of his endings, he took photos of Samantha. Obviously, NOT bdsm photos. His binder was a school project. But Samantha obviously consented, and Nathan was passionate enough to show her. He sees them as art. Naked girls have been models for sculptures and paintings. Its beauty. That's IF she was naked in some way in those photos. Which I still doubt. School project. Im sure the photos were gentle and strange and misunderstood, and Drew was just in his bully era. His reaction would have been a lot more eye-opening if he had a face full of tits or straps. Nathan begged for his binder back and even nervously reacted, showing he had love for his work and 'took time with it' (as he quotes when Drew throws it). I bring this up here to show that the women in his photos were indeed given consent, and if hes passionate about depicting his art, hurting them wouldn't be on his agenda. As we all learned today that hurting people was never his intentions until drugs and illness met with pressure and intimidation clouds his brain.

I read up on other artists that painted things similar. In their paintings, they expressed dread, vulnerability, feeling traped, and ..feeling used. If Nathan did find the images he took arousing, then why would he hang them up like everything else in his room like art? I believe that they're depicted in an artful way and in its black and white shading brings a sad darkness. If it's anything like the painters I mentioned, maybe Nathan has a deep level of empathy we don't understand.

●Frank and Pompidou

I didn't even know he took a picture of Franks hurt dog in the road because you little freaks threw his treat in the street!? This will also tie in to chloes pic, but we'll get to that. Frank first, as it's pretty simple. Nathan runs some system with Frank. And it's pretty obvious it's the same thing Drew was doing in Before the Storm. Nathan clearly doesn't like it as he finds it controlling, but getting his hands on drugs is a great way to forget his flaws and calm his illness symptoms. Which only created a loop of his symptoms worsening, as talked about before. His illness is very active towards the end of Before the Storm. You can tell by his huge character difference that drugs only made it worse.

Pompidou is a good dog, but just remember he's not the one who hurt him. This ties in with what we explained in the dead animal phase. The Imagine is black and white. It's a strange art most people don't understand. Man, I don't even understand it. But these people aren't heartless, and they're simply expressing pain. Or.. he took it for the same reason he took Chloes pic. To feel that he's in control, thinking this will help his mental reality of thinking everyone can use him, as explained earlier. But i doubt it. One is in color, and Pompidou is not. One is misguided, and one is "art."

Jefferson, Rachel, Kate, Chloes pic

If i see one more person throw him in the same trash bin as Jefferson, im going to puke. Anyway, I've twisted my head around this story so many times, begging to see the bigger picture. No pun attended. Jefferson was pulling the strings all along ..you know that, right? If Nathan was never there, Jefferson would have still done his disgusting projects. He certainly brought Victoria over without Nathan's usage. He didn't need Nathan, Nathan just made it easier cause he can easily be manipulated. Making Nathan do it all so the consequences will fall on him. Jefferson is smart and knows the right words to say. Nathan is missing the kindness of a father figure. All he has to do is play with his feelings. Nathan falls too easily to kindness. He felt the kindness of Samantha during the good ending, and He felt the kindness from Victoria.. but Victoria toxic bully nature wasn't helping. The bottom line is Jefferson easily manipulates him and understands his mental reality and uses that against him. Adding thoughts into Nathans head. Jefferson learned to use Nathan's illness to his advantage. Nathan trusted Jefferson as did everyone in that school. Why on earth would Jefferson wrong him? He looked up to him, so when Jefferson slowly brought him into his plans of drugging girls, Nathan thought that it was all ..moral. In reality, you and I know obviously that's not okay, but to Nathan (and his severe illness), he trusted Jefferson was doing no wrong. We don't understand the mental strain he was under. Manipulation goes a long way. Heres how he did it. He probably said things like 'We are the same Nathan, this is art just like yours.' It starts small, Nathan gets him the drugs. Then he pulls him in, and Nathan starts drugging the girls for me. Start driving them here. Start helping me inside the dark room. Start helping me inject my victims. Jefferson had so much power over him. He was connected with his father. He can threaten his grade, his representation, and his future in art. He knew all the right things to say and do. He knew how his head worked. Clog him up with drugs, and keep him quiet. Heal his missing father needs and demand him for your needs. Does this not make Nathan a victim, too?

Then ...the Rachel incident happened. Nathan was NOT mentally aware of what he's done. The excited "Rachel!" When he saw Max at the diner clearly shows that he truly expected her to pull up. This mixes with the symptoms we've discussed. He only remembers bits and pieces as obviously it was beyond traumatizing. Sending him in an insane spiral and the infamous psychosis drawing. (Don't be afraid, google psychosis drawings. Damn. Just imagine you recovered from psychosis and laying eyes on that and not remembering you drew that..ugh...I'd cry.) Someone with Psychopathy wouldnt feel traumatized from such events, debunking the fact everyone thinks Nathan has Psychopathy. He doesn't have Psychopathy, he has psychosis. Moving on. Jefferson was certainly angry with him and drugged Nathan himself after the incident, which really helped Nathan to forget what he's done. But Jefferson's anger and not talking to him tore him apart. His emotional attachment clearly wasn't having it. The note he wrote Jefferson in desperate attempt to bring him back after ruining Jefferson plans goes to show just how much he wants that sense of being cared for. If only it was someone else that wasnt Jefferson ..or his dad can do is fucking job too.

Alcohol was certainly a great method of forgetting what he did. So then comes Chloes' interaction with him. We know the story. He did not SA her, I can say that right here and now. Nothing like that was behind this. You can tell by the way Chloe presented the story to Max. There wasn't an uncomfortable tone to her story. She didn't seem traumatized but more shocked, and "it was pretty crazy." She also wasn't drugged for that long. She woke up very soon, fully clothed. What obviously happened is that Nathan used this to feel in control like the mentioned way above. Drugs and Psychosis is no jokes. Who knows what hell is playing in his mind, but I unfortunately believe that this was to try to win back Jefferson. He had been angry at him and ignoring him, and even tho he hates drugging, his confusion and drunk state led him to this. He's cowardly, and his mind is slipping and tries to do what he thinks is right for him. He's misguided and leads down the wrong path.

Nathan did not SA Kate! Kate story breaks my heart into a million pieces, but if she was SA-ed, it wasn't Nathan. After everything I said above, you can tell that that isn't in his character. But here I want to bring up the voicemail. Nathan claims multiple times that he never wanted to hurt anybody, implying that he felt forced to do harm. Something he DID NOT want to do. Why on earth would anybody have felt forced to SA somebody!? I'm not saying Kate WASN'T SA-ed as I can only assume maybe the boys she was shown with in the video did something or Jefferson. Victoria was Kates bully!!! Nathan wanted to be liked by Victoria and was influenced by her nature. He's desperate for attention and kindness. Victoria did far more to hurt Kate and her reason as to why was shit. You go THAT FAR to one up your photography game. Girl, bye. She spread that video, and she still has empathy, too? Her regretting everything? Did she reallyy regret it? Or did she want to make herself look good for her representation? She showed regret via text message in Before The Storm, too? She doesn't have a mental illness, but the game gave her an act of forgiveness and used her as a victim so the audience would sympathize with her. Goes to show you the game controls what they want you to feel. If they were to do that with Nathan..would opinons be different? Taking us into his mind and how he sees the world around him. They could have..but didnt. Well.. We have the voicemail, but obviously, that didn't stop the haters. It's unfortunate. But the game gave me just enough little clues for me to shine light on in this post. They put so much into his character but never showed the audience the truth.

Conclusion

What we've learned today is that Nathan isn't the villain you think. He's been manipulated, used, and needs mental help, but im sure my old Nathan-defending friends have said this time and time again. Im here to add something....

It's been PROVEN that he's capable of all human emotions. You just refuse to believe it because you're mistaking his illness and claiming all of this was intentional. Psychosis can be temporary. It's like a hand that steals your common sense, feelings, empathy, and sympathy, and you're only left with acting on pure chaos and negative or fearful emotions. After long treatment, your sense of reality returns, your feelings, your empathy, your sympathy.. And all you have now is guilt and regret and self blame that you hurt somebody. If you let Nathan kill Chloe, he is arrested. He had doctors aware of his illness and would have been charged with illness in mind. Forcing the treatment he needed ages ago. By the time Lis 2 came out... I wonder how he's taking it all in? What he did to everyone, what he did to Rachel.

He was written off to die, be locked up, and blamed. Unfortunately, he was caught in the crossfires of the harm of our favorite characters. If he was born in a different family and away from Jeff, he would have never hurt anybody. Matter a fact, he would never have suffered with his listed mental illnesses.

This goes out to all real accidental murder cases. There will always be a great divide in opinions. I hate comparing fictional games with real life, but I find it crazy that we call others nonempathtic when they aren't empathic themselves. It's like the word "accidental" is worthless.

Its always a debate..

Do we feel bad for the lives lost and their families

or

Do we feel bad for the mental crumble of the one who never meant to kill and how their familes have to deal with that.

Are they worthy to walk this earth? Are they worthy to see the daylight again? Are they still human, too? Should they die, too? Is redemption possible?

Who knows. Peoples opinions won't change unless they themselves fall onto the opposing team. If they were to suffer the chaos of accidentally murdering someone or the grief of losing someone from an accidental murder.

Red Nathan, the first Nathan we all experienced from Lis1. Damaged and doomed. Used and mentally obstructed. It's unfortunate things ended this way.

Blue Nathan, Appears in Before the slStorm and Max's alternate timeline. He is clean and hasn't touched drugs. He had not been involved in crimes or violence yet. In this alternate timeline, he has been somehow saved and kept away from mental destruction and Jefferson. We will never really know what drove Nathan towards this peaceful path, but I assumed that it was the kindness of Max that led him in the right direction. (Max somehow changed Victoria, too. With her demeanor being so gentle. I really am curious about the whole back story of that timeline... I think about it alot)

[error04landonotfound]

Before I begin, I want to make it abundantly clear: this post is not a hate post, nor do I wish for it to be perceived as one.

I keep seeing a lot of defense (and comments) of Max's moves post-Mexico GP, and some of the reasoning has been... interesting, to say the least. I've seen some along the lines of, 1. "funny how the fia cracks down on the driver with the wrong passport"; 2. "lando was whining on the radio too much"; 3. "10 seconds each is too harsh."

1. I've admittedly not been a Formula 1 fan for very long, but I've been one long enough to see that Lando has never (to my knowledge) benefitted from being British. Take a look at Austria and COTA (these are the ones I know), and tell me if you really think Lando benefitted there. I'm not saying that "British Bias" doesn't exist; it very well could! Just not for Lando Norris.

2. If Lando was whining, I'd sure hate to put a label on what Max was doing last week. What Lando said on the radio was, in his view, a statement of fact. He didn't "whine" about Max's moves; he said he was ahead at the apex and that Max's moves were dangerous, and as far as I'm aware, did not explicitly ask for a penalty.

3. 10 seconds is too harsh, you say? Think about this for a second: Lando's time penalty last week was DOWNGRADED to 5 seconds. The fia document noted it was originally 10 because Max left him no space. As much as I hate to admit it, I could see why the stewards ruled the way they did at COTA, but this week was far more blatant. Max was taking wider lines and had ZERO intention of making the corners. I'm sorry, but 10 seconds is more than fair, especially when you basically admit that your whole plan was to hold up Lando and ruin his race.

All this being said, I'm genuinely curious: would you still be defending these moves THIS HARD if roles were reversed and Lando had been the one to make them? Would you claim that there was "Dutch Bias" for Max? Or that 10 seconds per penalty was "too harsh"?

I know it's easier to say it than believe it, but I know for a fact that if Lando had pulled those moves, I wouldn't have defended them. I've said it before, I think Max is a great driver! There's a reason he's 3x WDC!! But he crossed the line in Mexico City, and I really wish more people would admit that. That was hard racing, yes. But it wasn't clean.

P.S. if you're going to hate on Lando for existing/having thoughts and opinions, at least put it in the proper tag (the anti tag). I'm tired of looking through the Lando tags and seeing hate. And this goes for all other drivers too, tbh, because nobody wants to see that in their fave driver's tags.

[otomemories]

Could Neji Kokuto be mixed race?

Ps: This is just my own personal fan theory!♡

We all know that Neji is more Westernized than your average anime character－ he tries to make homemade corn tortillas from scratch, reads Goethe, and hates Japanese cultural values. But is he really just a colossal Europeeaboo, or could Sui Ishida be hinting that he’s actually something other than pureblood Japanese? (Warning: spoilers ahead!)

Is it even possible? If it were true, wouldn't he or someone else have mentioned it? Well... we do get to hear some stories mentioned about him being ostracized and teased in middle school, and see him labeled universally as 変人 (weirdo) in Puppet, but it's completely unclear whether this attitude towards him could be partially attributed to him being mixed, or if it's entirely a result of Neji's general off-putting vibes and inclination towards gender nonconformity. On one hand, if he was half White, I think it’s a bit suspicious that we could go an entire game (and a one-shot) without someone bringing it up, especially considering how stigmatized being mixed race is in Japan. But on the other hand, Jack Jeanne upholds a very “say something without actually saying it” attitude when it comes to its writing and general approach to controversial topics, so it really wouldn’t surprise me. This seems to be a fairly popular headcanon among fans, so let's look at some of the potential evidence.

1). He’s canonically bilingual, and his Japanese is… rather strange

And no, I’m not just talking about the general “Neji speaks with silly voices” phenomenon. I’m not a native Japanese speaker, but even I can tell that his vocabulary, and even the way he constructs his sentences grammatically is often very peculiar in nature. It sounds much more like Japanese found in books than the way Japanese is actually practically spoken, and I would even go so far as to say that it could sound mishmash as a result of being exposed to multiple languages growing up. Speaking of multiple languages, it’s established in-game that he is some degree of bilingual (although we’re not sure exactly how fluent he is). It’s safe to say by examining the lyrics he wrote for both Ms. Robin and Over the Wall, however, that his English (and potentially… Spanish?) is pretty advanced! It’s far from perfect, of course, (thinking about “Sorry! My negative!” forever and ever….) but it’s still leagues above the average Japanese speaker’s, and that could have to do with him hearing it often growing up. Of course, we also know that he is canonically a speed reader with a photographic memory, so it is possible that his language proficiencies and quirks alike can just be attributed to the presumably thousands of books he read over the course of his life, coupled with a potential lack of social interaction with his peers in early childhood. But I believe his lexical background is just a bit too diverse to be easily explained away.

2.) He has a significant relationship with Catholicism

This is the big one for me. Catholicism in Japan was recently clocked in at under 500,000 members- that’s only around 0.3% of people! Christianity didn’t rank much higher, at just 1.5%. Yet, western religion appears both in Neji’s scripts and in his casual dialogue over and over, but not in the typical “Neon Genesis Evangelion” way in which Japanese artists tend to include empty biblical imagery just for fun and for aesthetics. He writes with too much intention and specificity for someone who merely read a few famous passages of the Bible in his spare time. He writes as if he has first hand-experience.

Biblical symbolism in Mary Jane and Oh, Rama Havenna could be a post in and of itself, right down to the naming (not to mention the short play from his second affection event where he, you know, compares and contrasts being a director with the book of Genesis). I'd love to go on and on detailing every religious reference Neji alludes to, but for the sake of brevity I'll list only one: Domina and the lyrics to Intense Confessions at the Confessional.

Intense Confessions is about "criminal guilt" and a "critical libido" (or, for lack of a more eloquent phrase, Catholic horny guilt) that stems from a constant pressure to remain in a state of mental purity at all times. Domina is a Catholic character built around the theme of feeling crushingly guilty over one’s own unsavory actions, but continuing to commit them anyways. This much is illustrated by the rehearsal event he shares with Kisa in his office just before the Winter Performance. If you're heading towards Neji's route, you get to see this theme paralleled directly with Neji himself at right around the same time in the story via his fifth affection event. We see him feel disproportionally ashamed of his own carnal desire, going so far as to threaten to call the police on himself and even request physical abuse... just for getting a bit aroused while improvising a scene with some dirty talk in it with Kisa. This type of dramatic reaction is very common in people who have grown up indoctrinated with western puritan ideals from birth (for example, from a potential member of his family that was born abroad). If he grew up hearing this preached to him as the gold standard, that also explains why he compares his childhood self to Rukiora, someone uniquely revolted by any form of promiscuity. It also coincides with the first two lines of lyrics.

いわれなき罪かぶり 罰が待つ夢を見た Shouldering unjustified blame, I dreamt of waiting for my punishment けがれなき御心に この願い投げつけた Through The Lord's untainted will, I cast out my desires

Furthermore, what adds an additional layer to the song is that the priest himself can be seen confessing and repenting right alongside the sinner he is supposed to be working to "cleanse." It's also a satirical commentary on believers' tendencies to take advantage of the concept of unconditional omnibenevolence and forgiveness as an excuse to sin as much as one wants, as long as they atone later. We all remember Domina's iconic catchphrase: "I'll just confess to God later..."

何もかも赦されて Anything and everything can be forgiven I(愛)にまた誘われて 同じことくりかえす Lured in by the I Am (by love), the cycle repeats once again

Unfortunately, this is an all too prevalent, yet rather hyper-specific phenomenon within the church. It's hard to believe that he would feel inclined to write such an emotionally weighty song about this concept if he didn't feel personally victimized by it, or at the very least, had personally encountered it. Thus, the most obvious explanation would be that he has spent a considerable amount of time surrounded by religion, and considering how staggeringly uncommon that is in Japan, I can't help but think that somewhere in his family tree, someone brought these beliefs over from America or Europe. In general, the karmic cycle of "sinning and being issued a befitting punishment" is central to his character. If the sheer frequency of how often he writes about this topic isn't enough to convince you that he has hands-on personal experience with it, the intensity and specificity surely is.

3). He just looks like he’s drawn that way!

Well, this is easily the most subjective of my bullet points, because of course, no one from any nationality has naturally purple hair! But there are a few elements to his character design that feel purposeful to me. He has a lot of motifs in his general appearance that remind me of what Japanese people tend to associate with westernness- his style, thicker eyebrows, hair that is distinctly textured to be naturally fluffy, wavy, and feathery, and a complexion with a much more reddish-pink undertone compared to the rest of Quartz (even Suzu, who is much tanner, has a more yellow base for his palette!) The thing that sticks out most to me, however, is that Ishida goes out of his way to draw Neji with pronounced double eyelids. Again, this feels purposeful- even his official plushie is distinctively stitched with them, while the others aren’t! Of course, it’s possible for pureblood Japanese people to have a very dramatic eyelid crease like this, but it’s rather uncommon. When you line him up with the rest of Quartz, he really sticks out (well, aside from him... just sticking out anyways, that is).

As we all know, most of Neji's backstory is a mystery; we know next to nothing about his mother, his grandparents, and even many circumstances regarding his father. Part of me hopes these holes were left intentionally blank so that fans could speculate on his lineage, and even better, so that they could be elaborated on in the sequel! The possibilities are endless, so right now, there's no way to know for sure. But Jack Jeanne is still very much an active franchise, so whatever the answer is, I'm sure we can all look forward to it!

[diiambee]

So like. Love in paradise!! Rambling and me dissecting the lyrics ahead! Prepare for a long post lol

Going to ramble more about the ending because god. It's Calypso's wording in particular that gets me.

It's no secret that the entire time she's been singing in Love in Paradise she was very insistent of sellung her Island to Odysseus, down right ignoring him when he says he has a wife and insisting even with his continued refusal—

For reference I won't mention on the matter of her SA of Odysseus due to never reading the odyssey on full myself, and i feel thar based off past songs and how Jay seems to plan to take this she'd be more a sympathetic villain than an outright evil one.

— Going back to my main point, people habe already pointed out her use of calling back to earlier character's phrases as if she's attempting to make herself more comforting for Odysseus, the use of open arms for polites, in your heart for hisother, and perhaps even the use of Ody for eurycholus.. but I want to ramble more on her phrasing for the earlier lyrics as Odysseus sings his heart out in agony.

Whether or not this was intentional— I can't help but be so scandalized (/pos) at how cleverly Jay seems to write a toxic conversations between the two. Perhaps it's more one-sided, as it seems neither of the parties are even listening to one another!

I especially want to highlight how Calypso deflects or downplay all of Odysseus' pleas here. Even if arguably you could say she cared for him and loved him, that's why she's begging him not to hurt himself— her love is so obviously not genuine, its superficial. She loves what he can give her, not who he is.

It's evident with how surface level her words of comfort are. He's screaming about agony, about all of those he's lost and how much he wants to just end it all but all her response to it are either shallow or with selfish (whether she realizes it or not, they're still selfish)

"It will be fine dear, come back inside dear, love of my life come back to paradise—" isn't really bad, its definitely comfort and a show that she cares, but it's the lyrics after that definitely highlight just how superficial her love is for odysseus, how it's not right.

"I know your life's been hard—" only time shes acknowled his troubles (in this song). "I'll stay inside your heart." Following it up with a call back to his mother.

"I love you, my dear.

I love our time here,

Life would be so much worse if you had died."

It's these lyrics in particular that truly cements, for me, how dark love in paradise really is even with a song with an upbeat middle. Jorge's a freaking genius being able to portray the sense of something is wrong even when the music tries to tell you otherwise— similar to how Calypso tries, and tries again to convince Odysseus to stay in paradise after everything he's been through, but Ody refusing because he knows this isn't the place for him.

She doesn't listen to him as he begs, and begs. She continues to speak, to try to comfort him with surface level comfort that truly doesn't help him or his state at all.. and it's with these lyrics you can really see her comfort with selfish intentions (note: I say selfishness not in a way to demean her, just to say that her words of comfort definitely come from a place of where she isn't thinking of Odysseus. She may or may not realize it, but it's still what I've observed regardless).

Yes. She truly did wish to ensure Odysseus wouldn't hurt himself, but take note of the reasons and what she says when she tries to do so— She only mentions herself, in which I mean she paints it as she's the only person Odysseus can rely on right now. She's the only person for him now. And yes.. that is quite literally true, it's just odd to me as it's as if she didn't truly understand odysseus within those 7 years. Like he hadn't with her, if you may.

Finishing this off with my belief again, I don't hate Calypso, but I don't like her either. She's a good antagonist and a good test of someone's (mine) media literacy LMFAO.. and again. This isn't me saying she didn't care at all or loved Odysseus within those 7 years, just that her love wasn't right. It never was and I doubt it was ever painted to BE right.