#with paragraph breaks because tumblr hated my vision of one uninterrupted wall of text

[smute]

nothing like being asked to take my hat off indoors. listen, buddy. the earth is a rock orbiting the sun. it's one of many rocks and assorted non-rocky planets orbiting the sun in something called the solar system. the sun with its solar system is one of several hundred billion stars in the milky way galaxy. the milky way, the andromeda galaxy, and the triangulum galaxy together form the local group (along with their many satellite galaxies). the exact number of galaxies in the local group beyond the 3 largest is unknown, but estimates range from 50 to 80. the local group is part of the virgo supercluster, a concentration of at least 100 galaxy groups. the virgo supercluster, however, is actually just a subpart of the laniakea supercluster, as defined in 2014. the laniakea supercluster is home to approximately 100,000 - 150,000 galaxies, each containing billions of stars with their own planetary systems. the laniakea supercluster spans 160 megaparsecs, or 520,000,000 light years. (one light year equals 9,460,730,472,580.8 km, or 5.88 trillion miles.) the laniakea supercluster is located in the pisces–cetus supercluster complex, a galaxy filament measuring roughly 1,000,000,000 (yes, one billion) light years in length. the number of superclusters in the observable universe is estimated to be 10 million, each home to its own galaxy groups and galaxies and stars and planets and rocks. but the earth is not just a rock within an inconceivably large universe. it is a rock that happens to be very wet. and the reason why the rock is wet, is that it happens to orbit its star, the sun, at the perfect distance for peak wetness.

one unfortunate day between 4.3 and 3.7 billion years ago, this very wet rock spawned microbial life. until the cambrian explosion 538,800,000 years ago, most living things were very simple organisms, but during this period, life diversified rapidly and complex organisms eventually ventured beyond the oceans. the first known footprints on land date to 530,000,000 years ago, and the earliest dinosaurs appeared 225,000,000 years ago, along with the first mammals. the last common ancestor shared by the genera homo (humans) and pan (chimpanzee and bonobo) is estimated to have lived anywhere between 13,000,000 and 5,000,000 years ago.

the earliest appearance of members of the genus homo dates back to about 2,600,000 years ago. fire was discovered 2,000,000 years ago and has been in habitual use for at least 400,000 years, although it may have begun as early as 1,000,000 years ago. the control of fire had a lasting effect on the human diet and, according to the cooking hypothesis, it was an essential element in our evolution as it led to a large increase in energy acquisition while reducing the physical challenges of eating and the amount of energy that had to be spent on digestion. it also allowed innovations in tool making and the creation of art and pottery. it even helped develop early societies. fires required organized cooperation as they had to be maintained, and they offered gathering places for increased social interaction. the use of fire extended the waking day into the evening hours and changed humans' circadian rhythms. in addition to cooked food and artificial light, fire offered protection from predatory animals and cold temperatures, allowing humans to survive in temperate regions.

neanderthals and anatomically modern humans first appeared between 300,000 and 200,000 years ago - the former in europe, and the latter in africa. about 50,000 years ago, modern humans started colonizing the other continents, eventually replacing the neanderthals and all other hominins. the domestication of dogs began around 35,000 years ago. at the end of the last ice age, around 12,000 years ago, modern humans (and their dogs) had populated nearly the entire planet. the agricultural revolution began soon after in west asia and resulted in more and more humans adopting a sedentary lifestyle in permanent settlements with increasingly complex societies. the gradual accumulation of knowledge and technology eventually culminated in the industrial revolution, which began about 250 years ago and resulted in an unprecedented rise in population growth.

between 200 and 100 years ago, the global population of humans nearly doubled – from 1,000,000,000 to 2,000,000,000. within the next 50 years it doubled again, and then again in the 50 years following that. half of the 117,000,000,000 modern humans that have ever lived, lived in the past 2,000 years. only about 9,000,000,000 people, or less than 8%, lived in the 200,000 years before the agricultural revolution – about the same number as the current living human population. 7% of all humans that have ever existed are alive today, still sharing that same rock that happens to be very wet, in that same inconceivably large universe. billions of years spent developing sentience and sapience, on a very wet rock in a very large universe, and you're worried about the fabric covering my skull? take a step back and reassess the situation maybe