#with or without your knowledge or consent 😭😭😭

[theygender]

Apparently my job incorrectly changed my state on my W4 without my knowledge or consent last year and now I owe a LOT of money in unpaid state taxes since they weren't withholding them from my paycheck like they were supposed to 😭

[scekrex]

So I have this Headcanon for Adam, Since he was, to put it bluntly, made to have sex, I like to think that the only way he knows how to handle his feelings is to have sex. And since we all know Adam is not one to express his feelings, like at all, I think if he was ever sad he would just be really overly sexual as a way to push down his feelings/not let people see how he feels.

So I was thinking, a story based during that weird period in Eden where Eve just ate the apple/betrayed Adam but Lucifer+ Lilith haven’t been banished yet. Angel! Reader has been Adam’s friend for a while, so of course he checks in on him after he loses another wife.

Adam is upset because of it (who can blame him honestly) and when Reader asks if he wants to talk about it, Adam being Adam try’s to change the subject by flirting/coming on to the Reader. (Maybe even more so than when he did with Eve or in the past, Lilith, because he doesn’t want to feel all of the pain he’s going through. Reader being the only one he truly trust now could also play a factor)

But Reader shuts it down, not because he doesn’t like Adam that way, he really does, but because he knows Adam isn’t in the right place mentally to consent to that. So Reader decides to take Adam to a nice spot and just holds Adam gently as he sings him a comforting lullaby till he falls asleep in his arms. Vowing to always be by his side.

I honestly love Angsty Eden! Adam. Where he’s not the complete Asshole he is in the show but he’s not as pure and happy as he was when he was first created. Being cheated on twice really did a number on him 😭😭 it’s completely fine if you don’t want to do this request btw!! love your works 💛💛

Nuh uh your request is too good to ignore it/not write it, I also love Eden!Adam - that man makes me cry every damn time. Because just imagine how lost, hopeless and confused he must've felt

Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping since there is no me without you

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, hurt - with comfort

note: beta read by @drxgonspine

The only logical way for Adam to express his feelings was sex. It didn't matter how he was feeling, whenever strong emotions welled up inside of him and he needed to get them out of his system sex was the solution. And that had worked out fine for a long time - it had worked out with Lilith and it had continued to work out with Eve.

But then things fell apart when Eve took the apple Lucifer offered her. It was weird to walk over the solid ground of Eden knowing fully well that the people who were responsible for the chaos and for shattering Adam’s heart once more were still allowed to walk on the same divine ground as he did. He was convinced that consequences would come but as for that moment, Lilith and Lucifer remained pure, a thing that bothered Adam even more.

They broke the rules - Eve ate the apple, Lilith cheated on him with an angel and Lucifer had tempted both of them to commit sinful acts, acts that were greedy and selfish, acts that would stain the first and second women’s souls forever. There was no such thing as redemption for them, human or not, and Adam was quite fond of that knowledge. And yet he hated it with all of his guts because losing one wife was one thing, losing two wives the other. He would end up alone again, once the mighty ones were to make their decisions. Loneliness and emptiness would come around to swallow his heart again - would God love his creation enough to give him a third wife? Maybe a husband this time to try and see if he would stay? Adam wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to offer his heart to a third person - what if he would end up hurt regardless? He was not strong enough to handle another rejection. At that very moment he wasn’t strong enough to handle anything. He felt alone, his soul felt shattered, broken, just like his heart and he wanted to fill the void and numb the pain.

You were watching your favorite human through the orb that was showing you what Adam was doing - he seemed unstable and in need of assistance and given that Lucifer was no longer allowed to talk to the first man, you had been tasked with assisting the brunette - a thing you had been looking forward for quite a while. So without further ado you opened a gleaming portal and decided to pay your beloved little human a visit.

“Adam,” you smiled at the brunette who turned around to face you. His body seemed to visibly relax at the pure sight of you, clearly happy to see you. And yet his little smile dropped as you continued to speak, “I heard what happened to Eve.” Slowly you walked towards the first man, your hands reached out for the first human hands God had created.

You squeezed them lighty, just enough to let the brunette know you’re there for him, that he is not alone and for as long as you exist he will never be alone again. “Let’s forget about Eve,” he hummed, swallowing the pain he was feeling like a pill, pushing his negative feelings out of the way to make room for the love he held in his heart for the only creature who had proven to be loyal and honest - you.

The touch on your hand that had started out soft grew firm as Adam pulled you in, causing you to crash right into him.

One arm of his wrapped around your waist like a snake, keeping you in place as he pushed his hips flush against yours. He desperately needed to get the pain out of his blood flow, he needed you to take the pain from him - he wasn't strong enough to handle it alone, not with everything going on. He needed- he wanted- he- what was it that he needed and wanted? “Adam,” your voice sounded so soft, so pure and beautiful it caused him to snap out of the haze.

Your hands were resting on his shoulders, gently pushing him away from your body - that was not what Adam needed. He needed you close, needed you all over him. He felt like he was drowning in sadness, anger and pain and you were the only thing that kept him breathing. So out of reflex he dug his nails into your skin, trying his very best to keep you close, he could not bear to lose you too, not when he had already lost so much.

He craved you, desired you, he wanted your hands on him in more gentle ways, in more sexual ways. “Please,” was all the brunette was able to whisper as he rutted his hips against yours, desperation was written all over his face and his eyes were begging you. Begging for you to take the pain away, to make it all stop. They were begging you to make him forget - Adam wanted to forget. He wanted the memories of Lilith and Eve he had stored in his mind and in his heart to disappear, a wish you were not able to fulfill.

“Adam my dear,” you mumbled, your soft voice sounded heavy, sad, real. It sounded too real to Adam’s ears and yet he found himself unable to tune it out. One of your hands softly moved up the first man’s neck to cup his face, eagerly the brunette leaned into your warm touch - that was exactly what he needed. “Let’s talk about it, shall we?” But the brunette just shook his head at your words, as one of his hands grabbed the wrist of the hand that was cupping your face to guide it to his mouth.

Just as he was about to suck two of your fingers between his lips you pulled away from his grip - not violently, just firm enough to make a statement. Having sex with Adam in general wasn’t the problem, you two had done it before and under different circumstances you would’ve given your consent. But Adam was unstable, sex would only destroy him more, no matter what he thought. And so you did not give in even though the brunette did manage to get certain reactions from your body. Your wings were puffy and your dick was slowly growing hard - but you wanted Adam to feel better not worse and despite his beliefs he would feel worse after it.

“We won’t have sex my love, no matter how often you beg for it,” your hand found its way back to his cheek, gently cupping his face as you kissed his lips quickly yet lovingly. Adam was about to lean into the soft gesture and deepen it but you pulled away before he could, a soft chuckle vibrated through your body at the look of his face. “Come on my little star, I will accompany you for the rest of the night.” Adam was eager to take your hand and followed your lead without a second thought, he was simply enjoying the fact that he was not alone and you were not leaving him all to himself in a situation like that.

Once the both of you reached a small lake that was surrounded by trees and therefore shielded from any curious eyes that might be roaming Eden’s ground you sat down in the grass, enjoying the beauty of nature - Adam seemed hesitant for the first time. Would he push too far if he were to ask you to hold him? Would he- his train of thoughts was interrupted by your voice - the sadness was gone and what remained was joy, “Lay down on me, beautiful.” That you didn’t have to repeat, it only took the brunette seconds to sit down next to you and rest his head in your lap. Your hands found their way into his soft messy hair, playing with the brown fluff on the first man’s head as he hummed, visibly enjoying the soft touches despite them being non-sexual.

And when your beautiful voice started to sing the most divine sounding melody, Adam knew he was done for, there was no turning back for him anymore. His eyes slipped close as he drank in the sound of your voice paired with the singing of the birds in the background and it only took him a couple of minutes to fall asleep.

[loveandfictionforall]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could take this request! I thought maybe a oneshot (platonic!Dale Horvath x fem!reader)

So it’s set in season 2 at Hershel’s farm. Shane makes her really uncomfortable by trying to get her to sleep with him, flirting with her, etc. so she hides away in Dale’s RV to try to stay away from him. Dale finds out what’s going on so he comforts her after having a talk with Shane.

If you don’t want to do this it’s totally fine!! Just lmk if you will or not so I won’t be waiting for nothing if you don’t😭

I kind of went a different route but I hope you still like it. I genuine loved your idea. Dale is often forgotten but he was a good man.

tw: mentions of harrassing, mentions of getting touched without consent

It's been a long time since you were truly sitting with Dale down. He had always been your friend, even though a lot of years separated you from each other. It had been quite a ride since arriving at the Camp. Back then you were together with Lori, Shane and Carl after knowing them for years. You used to be Carl's babysitter, actually being on duty when the apocalypse began and following Shane, Lori and Carl. You suffered through the loss of Rick, just like those three and stumbled like everybody else through the beginnings of the outbreak.

Since you were a woman, Lori and Carol got you into doing the chores with all the other women. The men went out, looking for food, clothes and medicine. You also wanted to do something. Teaching Sophia and Carl math and history wasn't really important for you but Shane always declined your wishes.

So instead you began to hide. At first it was in the woods until you got a mouthful from Shane - and even Merle. Soon you began hiding in the Camper, with a Dale always winking at you when he saw you slipping into it. When Lori, Andrea or Carol went asking, he always played his part: shaking his head and lying through his teeth, telling them where he saw you last. You never been there but it threw them off your trail. And thus, your friendship with Dale began.

Dale tried fixing his Camper with you. But unlike all those other tasks, he actually wanted you to do it, guiding you and giving you new knowledge about the workings of cars. On evenings he would invite you to sit on the roof with him, watching the stars and talking about those old times. You learned a lot about him and how his life had been. Soon you were kind of his kid - adult but also his kid. He showed you how to fish, how to skin them and even gave you his little pocket knife.

Even when Andrea began to insert herself into the friendship, Dale and you were inseparable. In the end, it would be Dale's death which would end your genuine friendship with each other. But you two didn't know that Hershel's farm would be his demise. Instead you were looking at each other with bright smiles and hope fluttering in your chest.

Sure, things were rough, especially since Rick appeared from the dead, still alive and healthy. It shook your world and made you hope that you will too see again your family. Nobody could escape the whole drama of Lori and her men but her so harshly shoving Shane away made things worse for you. You always knew that Shane looked at you sometimes a bit too long. When the world was still whole, you kind of liked it - being noticed felt good, especially by an older man with a bright career. Now it made you break out in goosebumps. Your neck hair would rise and without turning you would know that Shane would be staring at you.

It started small - a conversation here and there, a small compliment about her sharpening skills of knifes or her really good hiding skills from the other women. It still gave you the creeps but what should you do? Shane didn't to anything at first. But after Otis died, Shane changed. The crazed look in his eyes. Sometimes he would drink in the evening before he would press himself against you, his breath ghosting across your throat and cheeks. After that the touches started. It grossed you out - so much, that you tried to find a reason to sleep with Dale in the Camper. It wasn't possible, after all there was only one sport to sleep in.

But Dale knew something wasn't right.

And on one evening, while sitting together on the roof of the Camper, watching the starts you finally gave in.

"It's Shane.", would be all you would say. You still remember how Dale would straighten his back, his eyes getting serious when he turned all of his attention towards you.

"What did he do?" There wasn't doubt in his voice. It didn't waver. It was like he always knew something wasn't right with Shane. He saw Shane and knew he was danger.

"He just… He-" You could talk about it. Just thinking about it made you tear up. And finally those tears fell when Dale circled his arms around you, pressing you against his warm body, shushing softly against your frizzled hair. It just made you sob harder. In a world without any true rules and consequences, you couldn't do a thing. And even though Rick and Shane were fighting, it was his best friend, he wouldn't believe you. And Dale knew that.

So instead he gently swayed both of you while you used every strength in your body to talk and tell him about everything. Dale was your saving grace. He never doubted you.

"You will sleep in the Camper. I will take your tent." His words would have a final tone. Arguing with him would be unwise, his opinion was set in stone.

"But your back!" The small chuckle from Dale would make you smile. You always teased him with being too old.

"I think I will manage. It is far more important that you feel finally safe again."

When Dale lead you into the Camper and helped you into bed, his eyes were soft.

"You are a true blessing and you deserve to feel safe and loved. You will always be welcome with me." To be honest, it made you cry again but now they were finally happy tears.

It was a memory you never wanted to forget in this forsaken world. It would be a memory which would keep you alive, even in the toughest of moments, even after Dale died.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

Time to do another dramatic reading of our least favourite avatar.

Today, I will be subjecting myself and all of you to the vignette titled "space".

Unfortunately, it's not about the cool space. Which is a shame, because that would have less incest in it.

I wish I was joking.

So we once again start off with a republic city tabloid making the Avatar upset.

That is twice that this framing device has been used, and while this vignette came first, I think Lily needs to come up with a better opener. We can only have Niva read so many tabloids, and getting upset by it, as a framing device so many times before I start to question why Niva keeps reading them.

And because the author has a barely disguised fetish, we get to jump right into the incest using the tabloids as an excuse:

WHO TALKS LIKE THAT TO THEIR SISTER????

If people are reading your behaviour as romantic, to the point that it's getting printed into tabloids, it really makes me question just what you were doing to give off that impression. (We get a good idea of this pretty fast in this vignette.)

If I didn't know they were sisters, I would think they are dating.

Because this is a couple spat.

As for the claim that people can't comprehend sincere devotion without sex, well, if the Avatar and her sister are always touching each other in public in the ways that lovers do, then it isn't the public who is misreading the situation.

Again, this isn't how SIBLING'S talk.

This is how romantic partners speak to each other.

If I can pull this lines out, and show them to a total normie, and they would think this is a couple, then you have written a romance, not a sisterly bond.

And I'm sorry, but if someone is always having their arms wrapped around each other in rather intimate ways, and talking about how devoted they are to said person, then people are going to make assumptions. It's not them misunderstanding what they're seeing or reading too much into it. It's them seeing how too people are acting, and making a conclusion.

Alright, moving on.

Here's a red flag for any relationship:

Our supposedly confident, self actualized Avatar needs an excuse to assert her boundaries.

So either the Avatar isn't actually a confident, self actualized badass like Lily claims, or, her sister has reacted negatively to demands for space in the past, making the avatar nervous about asking for said space without an excuse.

Either way, this is yikes behaviour, and something any other author would explore, but we all know Lily won't explore it.

We then get a little bit about how Niva hate's Republic City because it makes her feel overwhelmed and overstimulated, which if Niva is meant to be on the spectrum, is a nice bit of character building.

We then get them bashing the food in Republic City because it's "corporate" and then Lavi tells her to "just be honest about her need for space", they hug, and we end on this groaner:

Probably the most normal part of this relationship, and guess what?

It sucks.

I think it's the last two lines. They just scream "I need a witty closer".

And that was Space.

I think I need Space from it. 🤣😭

This was another episode in our growing series called "the author's barely disguised fetish". And while I'm certain Lily gets a lot of enjoyment out of subjecting people to it without their knowledge or consent, I do not.

And I went into this knowing exactly what it was going to contain.

To summarize my thoughts on this literal nothingburger of a story...

I don't have any.

Despite being gross because of the incest, it really doesn't actually tell you much about the characters outside Niva feeling like she can't even ask for space from her sister, which would be fine... if Niva wasn't supposed to be a self-confident badass. So now it just reads as problematic, but we all know this will never be addressed.

Honestly, the incest is the only thing that either of those characters have going for them, and that's both parts gross, tragic and hilarious.

Now get out of my house.

[fitgirlfemdom]

hi! I’m just curious about something you mentioned about not being explicitly into everything you post - do you think it’s attracted unwanted attention? would you rather discuss non-kink topics on here as well? I think it would be cool if you incorporated some of the other stuff you’re passionate about (anime, music, etc) 🖤

The real me is not as sexual as this account displays. I've been celibate for half a year and I masturbate maybe once or twice a week for like 20 min. I still write and draw NSFW content, but that's for my main art account that isn't linked here (this isn't for privacy or anything--i just have art moots that probably don't wanna see fat bears eating cake on their timeline 24/7).

90% of the stuff I write/have posted about, I'm into, and I enjoyed writing, especially my longer posts! If I wasn't interested in something, I wouldn't write about it for free. The issue was messages in my DMs, especially near the beginning of this account. It's why I tried enforcing the rule that if you send me face pics, I'd block you, because a lot of the people that messaged me I did not find sexually attractive. Without a face, it's much easier to RP. Also because of the dick pics. Don't get me wrong, some of you guys had very respectable cocks but I can't deny that it made me feel gross to be sent them without my consent.

The worst part was actually enjoying talking to some of you, and then realizing you clearly just used me as a dumping ground for your fetish pics, without any consideration as to who I was. It was like my DMs were just "Send Photos of Your Gut to 19 Year Old Girl Here" without any personality, any interest in who I was. Just a nameless girl who you could imagine your fantasies with. I'd ask about your day or what you were interested in, and I'd get a pic of your gut in an office chair with "whoaaaaa just drank two liters of soda :/ so bloated rn." How do I respond to that? "Good"? 😭

I think the worst DM I got was a guy saying I was "in denial about being a housewife," which I mean, I've dabbled in misogyny kink content before. Bimbofication is literally on my profile. I've never brought up my feminist views or politics, although I would consider myself a feminist, since all people should have equal rights and freedom of expression. I also believe housewives can be feminists. There is nothing on my account about my political views, nor about my career or education, because it's not important to writing porn about feeding dudes cake.

When I brushed him off with a "Haha," he just kept going, paragraphs and paragraphs about how he wanted me to be his trophy wife and clean his shit out of a bucket??? You don't even know me??? And I never responded, but it really just made me realize--just saying I'm into femdom, no matter what it is, is seen as a political transgression to these people. I'm literally into gentle femdom and want a chubby hubby/wife that I can make happy and secure financially. None of my posts are "Women are superior, men should be locked in cages." Most of my posts are "I want a gym guy who enjoys my cooking and jerks off a lot."

I DO use female supremacy tags sometimes because I use dozens of tags, and that's on me. I just type "fem" and click the ones that come up. I've also written works that are VERY misogynistic, like calling myself a fleshlight or literally writing fics about me getting gangbanged. I feel like this guy just saw "femdom" in my username and lost his mind. By tagging my stuff like this, I honestly was asking for trouble to come, so yeah, I think I just got unwanted attention I wasn't ready for.

In regards to talking about others topics, I just figured no one gave a shit, and people probably don't, but I am very passionate about metal music and music history. I have a useless amount of knowledge about various 90s/2000s metal bands and music from that time. If I get asked questions about it, I'll answer, and I DO need to follow more people on this website, but my current answer is: I don't know, maybe. I'll see how I feel.

[wuucchoo]

‘The real reason why the binding vow penalty didnt trigger (yet)’

a theory. yes 212 is still living in my head rent free coz there is a lot that still needs explaining about that whole incident

First the binding vow

Sukuna spontaneously planned this binding vow after he got interested in Megumi, coz he’s real plan was letting Yuji die - since he has more fingers around. When sukuna first offered the binding vow, he only had two conditions: he will take over for a minute when he says ‘enchain’ and Yuji will forget the binding vow. I have a lot to say about how the second condition shouldn't even make sense, but that's not what this is about. It's about the third condition that he just added in there without much thought: ‘sukuna won't harm or kill anyone in that one minute’ and how sukuna broke that condition in chapter 212. Im sure that this has been said before but im just trying to get to something.

Chapter 212

When the moment came for sukuna to take his reward for reviving Yuji in chapter 11, the very first thing he does is break that damn vow. When he got control of Yuji, he first went to Hana/angel (the biggest threat around for him) and put her to sleep. Now, when you forcibly knock someone unconscious, that is harm and I will fight gege on this, i mean look at hana's face 😭. Let's say sukuna had a technique where the person getting knocked out won't feel pain and maybe Hana didn't feel pain, BUT putting someone to sleep like that involves tweaking around with their brain activities which causes harm to a person. Idk, I'm not a doctor. But it should be counted as harm. >:(

Then he goes and turns Yuji’s pinky into a cursed object and cuts it off.

It is the one thing he considers harm, so for sukuna ‘knocking someone out = not harm’ but ‘cutting off someone’s finger=harm’. He took that risk coz he was ready to die that day just to get inside Megumi, and he threw a party when no penalty was triggered. Of course sukuna is a smart bastard, he had to think of a reason why it didn't trigger. And ever since the beginning, he had always looked down on Yuji so the reason he thought of was ‘it didn't trigger because Yuji is a dumbass who didn't include himself in the people that shouldn't be harmed’.

Now, this is what sukuna thought happened, and we know he has been wrong before. He’s smart, but he isn't always right. He thought gojo made some sort of binding vow at the beginning of their fight coz the purple he threw was at 200% output. When in reality, the purple was as strong as it was because of a buff from a cursed technique sukuna doesn't have knowledge of. What I'm saying is, sukuna’s conclusion on why no penalty triggered shouldn't be trusted coz he doesnt know everything.

AND THEN he goes to Megumi, grabs his hands to stop the summon, grabs his jaw and just jams that cursed (cursed!) finger in there. Now THAT is undoubtedly harm. There's just no way that possessing somebody without their consent is not considered harm. Maybe I'm wrong about Yuji and hana, but what sukuna did to Megumi was harm. Sukuna friggin broke that vow in 212. he harmed every soul in that damned rooftop!

Why it didn't trigger

Sukuna's conclusion on why the penalty didn't trigger will immediately fall apart when it's very clear that he harmed Megumi in that 1min. MAYBE Yuji did not include himself in there, but even if he didnt - sukuna still harmed Megumi. The penalty should've triggered when sukuna shoved that finger down megumi’s throat. But it didn't, because of something we have been told in higuruma vs Yuji in the culling game.

Yuji’s guilt

In higuruma vs Yuji, we saw Yuji wholeheartedly admit to commiting mass murder even though everyone knows it was sukuna's fault. Yuta tells him ‘its not your fault’ and he just goes ‘you don't understand’. Higurama was shocked when Yuji pleaded guilty to a crime he didn't commit, and at the end of that trial Yuji was still ‘nah, it was my fault coz I'm weak’.  Megumi however knows what to say to Yuji and instead of telling him ‘its not your fault bestie’ Megumi just says ‘its our fault dummy <3’. Yuji’s guilt is a very huge part of his character, its what his whole culling game arc revolved in. And I think it is the reason why the penalty for the binding vow didn't trigger yet. 

For Yuji, sukuna's crimes are his crimes since it was all done using his body. So for Yuji, the one who harmed everyone in that 1 min in chapter 212 was him, not sukuna. and since sukuna's condition said "I wont harm or kill anyone", the penalty didnt trigger coz the binding vow does not recognize those acts as his as long as yuji feels guilty of it.

this whole binding vow business is just making me think a lot, and i just know we havent seen the last of it yet. it will come back and nerf sukuna i think. and since it has been established that no one knows the penalty of breaking a vow that's done between two sorcerers, then the penalty could be just about anything.

(if anyone actually sees and reads this, hello! |ʘ‿ʘ)╯and feel free to debunk it ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ ))

[builtbybrokenbells]

Hate To Love You | ii

Read part one here

Read part three here

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 8.3k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, female masturbation, slight touch of (consenting!!) voyeurism, fingering (f!receiving), dirty talk, a bit of choking, unprotected sex (god please wear protection, im sorry i keep doing this), sex in a sort of kinda public place, shower sex, continuing to have sex while someone is talking to you ? Idk what that’s called but yeah, that, swearing, talking about toxic ex’s, fluff, angst, love triangle shit, sad Danny and Sammy (very much deserves a warning), sorry if I missed anything!

without further ado, here’s part two! Hope you enjoy :) also fair warning that this is actually kind of filthy by times 😭 I’m unsure of where that came from, but anyway. beware, this kind of has emotions all over the place. also disclaimer, I set this up as a terrible situation right from the beginning because for some reason i literally live for writing angst. i only started this fic bc i knew how i wanted it to end. it’s a character flaw now ig. please be kind and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!!

~

Your heart drummed in your chest as your hand slipped around the doorknob, opening the door and sliding through the crack. You let out a sigh of relief when the latch clicked behind you with no interruptions. See, the plan was that there was no plan. Just you and Sam inconspicuously sneaking off at different times and hoping nobody would notice that you’d both magically disappeared without a trace. So far, it had worked out in your favour. And if it hadn’t, nobody had said anything yet. It definitely wasn’t the smartest course of action, but it was the one you were going with. You decided you would reap the consequences when they made themselves known.

You took a seat on the couch of Sam’s dressing room, crossing your legs and leaning into the arm. Their set finished in five minutes, which was your cue to get moving. In no way were you willing to be caught sneaking into his room by one of his brothers after they got off stage. You checked your phone to see if you had any missed messages, but the screen was blank. You pulled up your camera, checking your hair and makeup to make sure you looked good. You sighed as you clicked your screen shut, tapping your fingers against the leather of the sofa with growing impatience.

The boys has started a small tour, just for about a month, and it was wrapping up in the next week. But, the month had been too long for your liking. It had been weeks since you’d seen Sam, or any of the others, for that matter. They had a show booked for a venue a few cities over from where you were living. You had managed to convince their tour manager, which you’d met a few times in the past, to sneak you in the back door so you could surprise Sam. Guilt was creeping up on you for not telling Danny about your arrival, but you were desperate to see the boy who’d been occupying your mind for weeks on end. You loved your best friend, but Sam had somehow wormed his way into your heart and showed no signs of leaving. He consumed almost every one of your thoughts. He’d been plaguing your phone with messages of missing you, and some rather provocative voice messages and photographs. He was making sure you wouldn’t forget about him. Little did he know, it wasn’t even a possibility that you could. So, you packed up for the weekend when the chance arose, just so you could curb the need for his company for a few more days.

So far, to the best of your knowledge, he had no idea. Before you’d arrived that night, Sam had texted you his daily countdown of how many days were left until he could see you. You were quite confident that you were still in the clear. One thing you hadn’t really thought out was how you were going to leave the venue without anyone knowing you’d been in there. And also, how the hell you were going to sneak in and out of his hotel room. You’d worry about that later, though. All you were concerned with was seeing the boy who’d been occupying your mind every night for weeks on end.

You’d fully intended on telling everyone about your’s and Sam’s new found relationship the night it had begun. Somewhere along the lines, the plan was lost in translation. The sneaking around had become thrilling, to say the least. Pretending to hate each other like usual, but sneaking off to a bathroom to make out, sneaking touches when no one was looking or from under the table, or leaving parties ten minutes after each other to go back to Sam’s place, was kind of hot. Plus, the idea of growing the relationship together first, making sure it would last before announcing it to everyone seemed most logical in your brain. But, above all, you were terrified of hurting Danny by telling him. Realistically, you knew deep down it might hurt him more by hiding it, but you were terrified of being the person to cause him any sort of pain. This had been dragging on for months now, no end in sight.

You were jolted back to reality when you had heard laughing and shuffling from the hallway. You immediately sat up, straightening yourself out. You couldn’t hide the smile on your lips, practically vibrating with excitement. You were eager to see his reaction when he came in. When the doorknob twisted, your heart could have exploded. The door pushed open and Sam stepped inside, not noticing you immediately. The door fell shut behind him with a thud. He was glistening with sweat, hair sticking to his neck, shirtless and barefoot. You had to stop yourself from giggling at the sight.

“Great show you put on, Sammy. Think I’d be able to get an autograph?” You asked sweetly. His head snapped up, eyes wide with shock. It took him a moment to process what was in front of him.

“Y/n?” He asked, still barely believing you were there. You jumped up, running over to him. He picked you up in a hug, kissing you as if it was the last time he ever would. You didn’t care if he was sweaty, you were just happy you were finally back in his arms. “What are you doing here?” He questioned, still holding you. Your legs were wrapped around him, his hands supporting your bum.

“I couldn’t wait any longer to see you, and I pulled some strings at work.” You whispered, kissing him again. It was soft, but imminent, showing him all the emotion you had pent up since he left. “I missed you so much, Sammy.” You whispered against his lips.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” He said, resting his forehead on yours. “Does anyone else know you’re here?” He asked, gently letting you back down to the ground. You shook your head.

“As much as I love everyone else, I just needed to see you.” He understood what you meant, feeling the same way. “I drove here, so maybe I can just sneak out and meet you at your hotel once you get there?” You asked, hopeful. For the first time so far, sneaking around was much less than hot and way more of a pain in the ass.

“I mean, yeah, if you’d like to do that, we can.” He said, brushing some stray hairs from your eyes. “As long as I get to sleep next to you tonight, I’ll be happy.” He admitted. You couldn’t agree more.

“I just wanted to surprise you, I didn’t really think it all out too much. Five days just seemed so long.” You laughed, feeling a little dumb.

“That’s okay,” he rushed out “I’m more than happy to see you, trust me.” He let his fingers trail over your jaw, then down your neck and landing his palm on the back of your neck. He pulled you in for another kiss, much hungrier than the last. You could feel the shift in the dynamic before it was even over. “Bathroom, now.” He ordered once he’d pulled away. The sweet side vanished, quickly overpowered by desire.

“Why?” You cocked an eyebrow, challenging him.

“Because you’re going to get in the shower with me, and I’m going to fuck you.” He stated, simply. His eyes showed no hint of joking.

“I don’t want to ruin my hair and makeup. I prettied myself up just for you.” You smirked, knowing your disobedience to the order would get him going. “Don’t you want to appreciate it, first?”

“Oh, I have.” He paused, eyes looking you up and down. “I’m not going to say it again; go to the bathroom and take your clothes off.” He growled. You tilted your head to the side, staying in place, a sweet smile stuck on your lips. You always found it fun to mess with him. He was already tired of waiting for you, his patience never really existing in the first place.

“Make me.” Your cheekiness was quickly brought to a halt when he reached up, taking your throat in his hand. He was careful not to apply too much pressure, still terrified to hurt you in any way. He smiled, admiring the look on your face. He caught your lips in a kiss before tightening his grip slightly.

“I don’t think you want me to have to do that, sweetheart.” He whispered. You gave a nod, feeling your arousal pooling between your legs. “Now get in there and take your fucking clothes off.” You weren’t sure if Sam had normally been dominant in the bedroom, or if it was an extension of your relationship dynamic from almost the entire time you’d known him. Either way, you weren’t complaining.

He let you go, putting a little force behind it as he did so. You stopped yourself from stumbling and turned on your heels quickly, making your way to the bathroom without another word. You wasted no time ridding your clothes from your body, leaning against the counter to wait for him. You heard shuffling in the other room, presumably just Sam straightening some things out before he joined you. Your mind wandered to what he was going to do with you once he got you in the shower. You were out of your mind with anticipation; you had no idea how you went so long without having sex before Sam. Now that you were with him, it was all you wanted to do.

You couldn’t help but let your thoughts consume you, reaching a hand down between your legs for some type of satisfaction. You ran your fingers through your wetness, spreading it up to your clit, rubbing small circles. A gasp fell from your lips as you did so, but you couldn’t help but wish it was Sam’s fingers instead. You found yourself lost in the moment, not even noticing when the door opened until you heard someone speak. “You couldn’t even wait for me, princess?” A disapproving tone broke you from your concentration you quickly moved your hand, embarrassed to be caught. Sam moved towards you, now only clad in a pair of boxers. He grabbed your arm, roughly putting your fingers back to where they were before he’d interrupted. “I didn’t tell you to stop.” He reminded.

You watched him, cheeks flushed, trying to process what he was saying. His jaw was hard set, clearly worked up himself. Slowly, you returned to touching yourself, waiting for his approval. He took a step back, allowing himself full view. His breath caught in his throat. “Get up on the counter.” He demanded. You did as you were told without question, placing your hands on the cool surface and hoisting yourself up. You watched him watch you, feeling a knot form in your stomach. It had been far too long since he’d seen you like this. You placed your hands between your legs once more, but feeling a bit nervous being on display. “Don’t be shy, baby.” He said, reaching out and spreading your legs for you. “You wouldn’t have been touching yourself in here if you didn’t want me to catch you.” He said. Your eyes fluttered up to meet his. “Am I wrong?” You shook your head ‘no’. Although it wasn’t your original intent, a small part of you definitely wanted him to walk in on you. “Use your words.” He demanded.

“No, Sammy.” You said softly, feeling the anxiety slipping away.

“That’s what I thought.” His voice was gravelly. You could tell by his tone he was trying not to take you right there, but he was a bit too cocky to give in so quickly. “Get yourself off.” He ordered.

“Sam-“ you began to protest, but he cut you off.

“Shut up.” He snapped. You stopped, immediately scared that he wouldn’t allow you an orgasm at all. I said, get yourself off.” His hand was still on your knee. Although his tone was harsh, the loving circles he’d been tracing into your skin assured you it was an act. “Then, I’ll make you cum.” He assured you. “I just want to see how you did it while I was gone. Did you think of me?”

“Mmhmm.” You mumbled softly, picking up the pace in which you were rubbing yourself. “Wished it was you every time.” You mumbled.

“Oh so it was more than once?” Arrogance was radiating from him, but you couldn’t help but watch him with nothing but admiration. “Answer me, beautiful.” He said palming himself through his boxers.

“All of the time.” You answered truthfully. You let in a sharp inhale, feeling yourself getting close to your climax.

“I can’t wait to fuck you.” He admitted, hand trailing up your bare thigh. You could tell he was struggling not to touch you.

“You gonna show me how much you missed me, Sammy?” You wanted to put on a show for him, hooking your leg around his waist and pulling him closer to you. He let out a groan at your actions, tightening his fingers around your leg. “Are you gonna fuck me?”

“Don’t worry about what I’m going to do.” He spat, still rubbing himself, trying to get some relief. “Just worry about you. I’m getting impatient. If you don’t hurry up you may not get to cum at all.” You did as he said, quickening your pace and adding your fingers to the mix with your unoccupied hand. “That’s it, gorgeous.” He sighed, his eyes focused on your cunt. With the added stimulation of your other hand, you were painfully close to your climax. You threw your head back, closing your eyes and letting out a moan. Sam acted fast, grabbing your face in his hand and forcing your head back down. “Look at me. I want to watch you.” The statement caused your hands to stutter.

With his eyes locked on yours, gaze unwavering, you gave into the pleasure. Your orgasm hit you hard, way harder than it had in the past weeks. His eyes hardened, scared if he looked away from you, you’d disappear. Your own eyes rolled back in your head as you rode the high, desperate for air. “S-sammy!” You stuttered, almost as if you were praying to him.

“That’s it, baby.” He muttered, bringing your lips to his. He was painfully hard, already planning on getting you right off the counter into the shower. When he pulled away, you removed your hands from yourself, to which he immediately replaced them with his own. A strangled cry came from your mouth as his calloused fingertips brushed over your overly sensitive clit, but he didn’t stop.

“Sam, please,” you pleaded, trying to push his hands away.

“Stop it, you’re fine.” And he was right, you were. After a few moments of unbearable sensitivity, the euphoric feeling had hit you ten times harder. You were practically screaming your noises of pleasure, only fuelling him further. “Come on, princess.” He whispered, working his fingers into you. “I want you to cum like that for me.” And you did, clenching around his hand while crying his name. Tears were welling in your eyes as your legs shook, hips locked in a solid position. Your throat was hoarse, and you were sure the entire venue would have heard you if not for the concrete walls.

Just when you thought he would coddle you, maybe pull you in for a kiss, he removed himself from you completely. He walked to the shower, flicking the tap on. He threw his boxers away hastily and returned to your side. He didn’t utter a word as he picked you up. “Legs around me, now.” He ordered. You did as best you could to obey, barely being in the conscious mind. He stepped into the shower, still holding you, and pressed your back against the wall. The cool tile felt nice on your warm skin. He supported you with one hand while lining himself up with you with his other. He pulled you down on him, eliciting a groan from you. “Fuck I missed you,” he muttered, withdrawing his hips slightly and pushing himself back in. He stayed slow in that position, wanting to enjoy being close to you again without getting too intense. His head was buried in your neck, whispering sweet nothings while he sucked and bit marks into your skin.

“I love you, Sammy.” You mumbled, so fucked out you were barely aware of what you were saying. He paused his movement entirely, pulling his head away from you. “Oh my god, I’m sorry, I-I didn’t-“ you rushed out, finally coming to your senses. When he dropped you to your feet, your stomach churned with anxiety. He didn’t say a word, but watched you meticulously. You were starting to panic, tears rushing to your eyes. “I’ll just… I’m gonna g-go.” You excused yourself, making a move to get out of the shower. He grabbed your waist, his fingers searing into your skin. He pushed you against the wall of the shower so your chest was flush, but pulled your hips back towards him.

“Say it again.” He barked, his hand now gripping your shoulder. He lined himself back up with you.

“What?” You questioned, unsure of what was going on.

“Fucking say it again.” He hissed.

“I- I love you, Sam.” You said with more certainty. He pushed himself into you, moving his hand to your hip. The steam from the heat of the shower was filling your senses, sending you back into euphoria as he started to fuck you again.

“Again.” He pleaded, all tones of assertion gone, replaced with a touch of desperation.

“I love you, Sammy.” You repeated, confident this time. His hips sped, pushing your face into the tile with every thrust. Something had taken over him, he was more animalistic with you than he’d ever been. You were driving him crazy by saying it. He leaned down, leaving love bites all over your shoulders, gripping you so hard you were sure he’d leave bruises. You let out a blissful moan as he hit your g-spot. He continued on at that angle, loving the noises you’d been making for him.

A knock sounded at the door just as you were both reaching your peak. You expected him to pull out, or at least slow down, but he continued on. “Brother?” Someone called out from the other side of the door.

“Yeah?” Sam yelled back, voice unfaltering.

“You okay, man? You’ve been in there for a while. We’re getting ready to head to the bar.” You could recognize the voice as Josh’s. You had been trying to stay as silent as possible, but Sam did not make it easy. He’d slipped his hand around to the front of you, fingers dancing over your already abused clit.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t feel too good, don’t know what hit me.” He lied so effortlessly that even you could have believed him if not for him being inside of you.

“Oh, okay, man. You think you’re gonna join us? Should we wait up?” He questioned. A whimper fell from your lips as he had hit the perfect spot. His free hand clamped around your mouth.

“No, you guys can go. I’ll be done here soon, then I’ll probably go to the hotel and call it an early night.” You couldn’t understand how his voice was so steady. You chalked it up to him singing and talking while he jumped around on stage.

“Okay, text us if you change your mind and we’ll let you know where we are.” Josh yelled.

“Will do!” Sam answered. He waited a moment until he heard the bang of the main door shutting, then he removed his hand from your mouth.

“What the fuck was that, Sam?” You whispered, still scared Josh would overhear you.

“You certainly weren’t complaining.” He muttered, slamming his hips back into you. You let out a gasp. “Actually, I think you’re gonna cum.” He said, smugly. He was correct. Damn him for knowing your body too well. He swirled his fingers over your clit a few more times before you unravelled, slurring out profanities. “That’s it, baby.” Sam groaned, not far behind you. “Tell me you love me again.” He ordered once you can down from your high.

“I love you.” You said softly, no tone of arrogance or anything other than honesty. He took a sharp intake of breath and reached his own orgasm, moaning your name and pulling you back down on him as it happened. He rested in you for a moment, just basking in the closeness. Eventually, he withdrew and you turned to face him.

“I love you, too, baby.” He said, eyes drooping with exhaustion. You couldn’t help but smile at the confession. “I love you so much.” He sighed, pulling your chin up so he could lean down to kiss you. “We seem to have a thing for fucking in bathrooms, though.” He stated once you broke apart. You both laughed at the statement.

You finished your shower with him, both of you slipping out and wrapping yourselves in towels. You dried off and picked up your clothes, making a move to go back to the main room. He followed closely behind, not wanting you to leave his sight. When you dropped your towel, he gave your ass a smack. You jumped in surprise, letting out a giggle. He went over to his bag and grabbed a hoodie and sweatpants, tossing them in your direction. “Here, if you’d like to leave undetected.” He smiled. You nodded, slipping on the bottoms. You had to cuff the sweatpants quite a few times and tie the drawstrings, but you made it work. You threw his hoodie on, leaving the hood up.

You revelled in the confines of the sweater, breathing in the scent. It smelled just like him and it warmed your heart. “You look good in my clothes.” He said, pulling on another pair of his pants. That was one thing you had to laugh at, Sam packed a bag like a middle aged woman on vacation; two outfits for every occasion. He grabbed his wallet from a pile of his things and opened it, pulling out a hotel keycard. “I got two at check in, cause I always end up losing one.” He chuckled. “Guess it really came in handy, this time.” He handed it to you. “The room number’s written on it too.” You slipped it in your pocket.

“Guess so, baby.” You said, giving him a smile. He leaned down to place another kiss to your lips. You held him there for a moment, never wanting to lose the feeling. When you pulled away, you let your hand rest on his cheek. “I’m gonna head out, try and avoid everyone.” You informed him.

“Sure,” he said, pulling you into a hug. “I’ll be there soon. Be safe.”

“I will, Sammy.” You said, making your way to the door. “Oh, uh, can you bring my clothes back with you?” You asked, suddenly embarrassed at your earlier interaction. A blush rose to your cheeks. He laughed at you, nodding his head at your request.

“Of course.” He followed you as you left, leaning against the doorway as you walked out. He watched you make your way to the exit, smiling to himself.

“Hey, who’s that?” A voice sounded from beside him. Sam looked to see Danny standing, watching you walk away, too.

“Oh, uh, just some chick from the front row.” Sam brushed it off. “Asked security to pull her back here before she left.” He lied quickly, trying to cover his own ass.

“Ah, I see,” Danny said. “And you let her take your clothes home?”

“Yeah, just old shit anyway. Figured I’d never miss it.”

“Uh huh,” Danny paused, knowing that the clothes in question were some of his favourites. “And how do you think y/n would feel if she found out you were fucking groupies?” Sam nearly choked on his breath, whipping his head to look at Danny.

“What?” He asked, in disbelief.

“Come on, man. We all know. You think you guys are being sneaky, but we know you both way too well.” He chuckled. “Just wish you guys would have told me, you know?” He said before he walked off.

“Wait, Danny!” Sam called to him, but he wasn’t turning around.

“Also, you guys are obnoxiously loud.” He said before disappearing around the corner.

“Fuck,” Sam muttered to himself, turning on his heels and walking back into his room.

•

You pushed through the door of the hotel, taking in the sight of the front lobby. It was beautiful. You didn’t have too much experience with hotels, or travel. Your parents were quite poor growing up, and you never really broke the curse as you grew into adulthood. Hotels and anything of the sort, no matter if they were five star or not, were quite luxurious to you. The lady at the front desk gave you a warm smile as you passed by. You mumbled a hello, returning her gesture. You went directly to the elevator, pressing the button to go upstairs. The doors swung open, inviting you inside.

You looked at the paper holder containing the keycard, seeing the room number written messily on the outside of it. You clicked the floor number and waited. You laughed at the messy penmanship; Sam could be so forgetful by times. Luckily, this time around, it really worked in your favour. The ding of the elevator broke you from your thoughts. The doors parted and you stepped into the hallway. Your legs carried you down the hall, eyes scanning the bold black numbers labelling the rooms.

You landed in front of the room that matched the number on the card, swiping the key in front of the sensor. The electronic lock clicked open and you stepped inside. Upon first inspection, it was so blatantly clear that this was Sam’s room. His cologne was still present in the air from before he’d left for the venue, a towel was left on the bathroom floor, and a few different outfits were strewn on the bed. The blankets were messy and the pillows were all over the mattress. You smiled to yourself, dropping your bag by the T.V. stand and immediately crawling in the mess of pillows, pulling the blanket over you. The pillowcase smelled like Sam’s shampoo, inviting you in and lulling you to sleep. It had been far too long since you fell asleep surrounded by him.

Without even realizing it, you drifted off into a slumber more peaceful than any you’d had while he was away.

About thirty minutes later, Sam was unlocking the door himself and making his way inside. He dropped his own bag by the door, kicking off his shoes. When he looked to the bed, his heart melted at the sight of you. He walked over, carefully sitting on the bed beside you. He ran a hand through your still damp hair, gently brushing out any knots. As you began to stir, he leaned down and placed a kiss on your head. You let out a small groan, slowly coming back to life. You stretched out your legs, taking in a large breath as your eyes fluttered open. “Well, hello, sleepyhead.” Sam said softly, hand still tangled in your hair. “Have a good nap?” You couldn’t help but smile. It had felt like an eternity since you’d woken up next to him.

“Would’ve been better if you were here.” You whispered.

“Good thing I’m here now, then.” He said. He wasn’t sure if he should tell you about his interaction with Danny earlier, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness of the reunion. He knew he’d have to eventually, but right now just didn’t seem like the time for it. You opened your arms, reaching out for him to lay beside you. “Just a second.” He promised, standing up. He took off his shirt leaving himself just in his sweatpants. You watched him, silently admiring him as he moved. You made a move to take your pants off, wanting as much closeness with him as you could get. You tossed them onto the floor beside you, scooting over a bit to give him some more room to climb in.

He picked up the comforter, sliding in next to you and wasting no time pulling you to his chest. The warmth of his body immediately relaxed you. “I know I already said it, but I missed you, Sammy.” You mumbled, eyes closing once more.

“I missed you too, baby.” He said, his hand snaking under your far too large sweatshirt, caressing the skin on your hip. “I promise I’ll take you out on a date when we get home, I just want to be here with you tonight. I want you all to myself.” He admitted.

“Me too,” you agreed. You both sat in silence for a moment, not moving, just soaking up each others company. Eventually, he pulled you on top of him, settling you between his legs. Your head rested on his stomach, your arms brought to your chest, curling the blanket up to your chin. He played with the ends of your hair, letting the locks fall through his long fingers.

“Did you mean what you said, earlier?” He asked.

“Which part?” You asked for clarification.

“That you loved me.” His hands worked their way up to your scalp, gently massaging it. You let out a hum of pleasure at the feeling.

“Yeah, I did, Sammy.” You whispered, your own hand now moving to his stomach, tickling his skin with your fingertips. The muscles in his abdomen flexed at the contact, causing a small giggle to fall from you. “Of course I did.” You added. “I was scared that it was too soon, you looked almost… mad when I said it. But I meant it.” He laughed quietly at your words, finding it ridiculous that you thought he’d be mad at you.

“I wasn’t mad, y/n. Shocked, yeah, for sure. I wasn’t expecting you to say it.” He admitted. “But I’ve been waiting to hear you say that since the day I met you. If that was the only thing you said to me for the rest of my life, I’d be happy.” His hand that wasn’t knotted in your hair came down on top of yours, lacing your fingers together. “Why would you think I’d be mad at you?” He whispered now, gentle with his tone. You stayed silent for a moment, unsure of how to answer him.

“I don’t know… I guess I’m just so used to my past boyfriends being mad at me all of the time. I suppose it’s just in my nature to expect you to be mad, or assume I did something wrong.” You confessed. His heart leapt at the use of the word boyfriend. That had not been discussed yet, but he certainly didn’t mind the sound of it. On the other hand, he was curious. He’d never heard you talk much about your former partners.

“You can talk about it, if you want.” He didn’t want to pry, but he did want to know more. He gave you the option to tell him or not.

“I don’t know, Sammy.” You sighed. “Not much of a story, I guess. I’ve only had one other boyfriend. He was a dick. I dated him all through high school and moved in with him after graduation. He was mean and I didn’t know that it wasn’t how I should be treated. I didn’t know anything else.” A frown encased his lips. “He never let me go out, or have any friends. He wanted me to do anything he wanted whenever he wanted it. He always wanted to fight with me and according to him, I could never do anything right. That’s how I met Danny, actually.”

“What do you mean?” Sam never actually got close enough with you to know much about you in the beginning. He knew you were beautiful, funny and kind. He knew you adored Danny, but not why. He knew enough to fall for you, but he really wanted to know you, now. He wanted the little things constantly stored in the back of his head so he could use them as needed. He wanted to know what made you, you.

“After a particularly bad fight, I went to a bar to get some cheap liquor.” You laughed at the memory. “I’m not sure why, but it seemed right at the time. I barely drank back then. But Danny showed up, he was just finishing up with you guys at the studio. He sat beside me and bought some god-awful looking beer.” You shuddered at the thought. No matter how hard Danny tried to convince you it was good, you couldn’t stand the taste of it. “He introduced himself and noticed I’d been crying. He talked to me all night, wanting to know everything about me. It was the first time I’d ever felt…” you pondered for the right word. “Seen.” You finished. “He was the only person in my life by that point, who’d ever cared enough about me to want to know everything. And he barely knew me.” You had to laugh.

Sam felt a rush of jealousy flood through him, but he pushed it aside. “He offered me a place to stay because my boyfriend at the time told me to get out, and that he never wanted to see me again. You know why?” You asked.

“Hmm?” Sam mumbled, still listening intently.

“A male coworker sent me a friend request on Facebook.” You whispered. “It was bound to happen eventually, and I had an apartment lined up just in case. Things had been really bad for a while. But he just kicked me out, he didn’t want to hear anything I had to say. Just opened the door for me like I’d meant nothing to him for six years.”

“That’s terrible, y/n.” Sam consoled you, pulling you closer to him as he spoke. ‘I’d never do that to you.’ He thought to himself.

“Yeah, but I never would’ve ended up here if it didn’t happen.” You reminded him. “But Danny came with me as backup to get my shit from his house. He helped me move into the apartment I live in now. We got wine drunk together and the rest was history. He didn’t care that I was broken. He didn’t care that I had no idea how to make friends, because I was never allowed to have them. Just wanted to be with me.” You shrugged. Sam tried his best to just hear your words rather than think about how Danny felt about you, but he was struggling. “You know, I prayed for months that something would happen, anything to make life better. And he showed up that night. Just waltzed in and changed everything in an instant.”

“You love him, don’t you?” Sam couldn’t help it. The jealousy was surging through him. He wanted to listen to you talk, but his heart was breaking at the words you were saying. You lifted your head to look at him, noticing the expression of worry.

“Yeah, of course I do, Sam.” You were honest. “But it’s never been like that for me.” His body relaxed slightly. “Danny was always meant to be my best friend. He’s been the person I looked for my whole life. Someone to do stupid shit with, to make memories, to be my kids godparent, I love him more than anything, but I’m not in love with him, Sammy.”

“I’m sorry, I know that. I just… yeah.” He muttered. “I just get nervous, I guess. I know how he feels about you. I know how much he cares for you, and you for him. It’s hard to think that he could steal you away at any given moment.” He laughed quietly, more to himself. “You know, it would’ve made so much more sense if you ended up with him. He deserves you way more than I do.” He said, guilt seeping through his pores.

“It was never a matter of ‘deserving’ anything. If I wanted to be with Danny, I would be. I’m in love with you, and I always knew it would end up like this. The minute I met you… it was like all of the bullshit from the past didn’t matter. The pain from the last relationship didn’t hurt, because it brought me to you. It made it all make sense, you know?” You sighed, fingers still dancing with his. “I know we treated each other like shit for a long time, but I always knew. From the minute I saw you, I wanted to love you, to be in love with you. I wanted this, exactly what we’re doing right now.” His heart drummed against his ribs, threatening to break them. He couldn’t believe how much you affected him.

“Me too, baby.” He sighed. “All I want to do is love you; I’m sorry that I was an asshole for so long.” You sat up, moving around to sit on him. You straddled his waist, pulling his face in your hands and running your thumb over his cheek.

“We’re here now, aren’t we? Isn’t that what matters?” He smiled at your words, putting his hands on your hips.

“I guess so.” He agreed, catching your lips in a kiss. “I’m so lucky to be able to love you.” He breathed as you parted ways. “I want to know you. I want to know everything about you; I want to make sure that you know how you deserve to be loved. I hope I can do it properly.”

The sentiment of his words hung over the room like a cloud of serenity. You two enjoyed the alone time, rolling around in the bed, sharing kisses and laughs. You played music softly in the background, singing along to songs that had no meaning to you until that night. The evening dwindled by too quickly for either of your liking, slipping into the late hours of the night and eventually to the earliest ones of the morning. You wanted to live in that moment forever, where nothing was wrong and it was just the two of you making up for lost time. Sam made it so easy to fall for him, with his sweet words, loving touches and fantastic sex. He treated you better than you ever could have imagined a partner doing. The months of romance felt like an eternity; you felt like you’d known him like this your whole life.

Eventually, exhaustion enveloped the two of you and the music that was once fuelling your energy turned into lullabies. Sam was on his side, facing you with his arm draped over your bare torso. Somewhere in the events of the night, you both had ended up naked, but not resulting in a sexual motive. The intimacy of being completely exposed with no intent of sex was beautiful. It was just the two of you seeing each other completely, loving each other fully. Your eyes were drooping, barely being able to hold them open. His were similar, but he was forcing himself to stay awake so he didn’t miss a second of admiring you. His eyes on you, holding so much emotion behind them, felt like pure bliss. Being appreciated by Sam was the greatest feeling you’d ever experienced.

“I love you, princess.” He whispered, voice laced with sleep. “So much.”

“I love you, Sammy.” You said, the words coming straight from your heart. You were sure that you both had said it a million times that night alone, but the novelty of the phrase was too exiting to stop. Finally, the proclamation of emotion you’d both been feeling for so long was in the air, accepted and desired.

“I’m gonna take you to breakfast in the morning, before you have to go. Just me and you.” He promised. You smiled at his words but your chest ached at the realization you’d have to leave him again the next day. Although the time between now and seeing him next was much shorter than the one previous, you didn’t want to be away from him at all.

“I’d like that.”

“Me, too.” You laughed at him, barely awake and still trying to hold a conversation. You had both closed your eyes, finally giving your bodies a chance to rest, just minutes away from sleep. He pulled you closer to him, your head quickly finding its way to the crook of his neck. You drifted to sleep to the scent of him, finally feeling at home.

•

A violent knock on the door shook you both from your slumber. Neither of you had moved from the position you’d fallen asleep in. You both ignored the first knock, figuring it was one of the boys coming back drunk and wanting to chat. “Go back to sleep, baby.” Sam mumbled, clearly not caring about who was looking for him. You tried to do as he said, but another burst of loud knocking pried your eyes back open.

“Sam, open the fucking door!” You were upright now, immediately recognizing Danny’s voice. Sam groaned, reaching out for his phone.

“It’s 4 in the morning, man, go to bed! We can talk tomorrow!” He shot back.

“I know she’s in there, Sam. I just want to talk to her.” Danny pleaded. You could tell he was plastered. You could hear it in his voice. Your heart was racing, panic encased on your features. Sam gave a look to you as if to say it was okay. He rolled out of bed, pulling on a pair of pants as you searched wildly for clothes for yourself. You threw on the clothes Sam had given you earlier, crawling back in the bed and hoping that Sam could convince Danny to go back to his room. Sam wanted that, too, hoping you would just talk to him in the morning, when you were both sober and in the right state of mind.

Sam shuffled to the door. You heard him open it a crack before speaking again. “Just go to bed, Danny. You’re hammered.” Sam sighed, trying to reason with him.

“You’ve both been avoiding me for months and lying to my face the whole time. I’m done. I’m sick of waiting for you to decide to tell me the truth.” Danny snapped. Your stomach twisted in a knot, palms breaking out into a sweat. He knew. He’s known all along.

“Hey, stop, man. It’s okay. We can talk in the morning.” Sam muttered, obviously still half asleep. You didn’t understand how he was so calm about the whole thing. Sam made a move to try and shut the door, but Danny pushed it open again, not done with the conversation.

“Just let me talk to her, please.” Danny said again. “I know she’s in there. I saw her car outside.” Danny was pushing back on the door as Sam tried to hold it closed. “You can’t keep my best friend from me.” Something in Sam snapped at his territorial marking, not liking it in the slightest.

“Okay, fine, in the morning!” Sam was losing his patience. “I’m not letting you talk to her while you’re drunk and pissed off.” Sam was being overly protective, not willing to budge from him stance.

“I’m not going to fucking hurt her, asshole.” Danny argued. “She’s my best friend, Sam. I have to talk to her.” With a final push, Danny got the door open and stepped in the room. Sam sighed, stepping down and out of his way. Danny walked in, his eyes immediately landing on you. He stared for a moment, watching you sitting in Sam’s bed, wearing his clothes, looking scared. He felt a wave of hurt enveloping him. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again, unsure of what to say. He’d gotten his answer already. He already knew what he would find, but he was hoping he was wrong.

“Danny,” you started, but he’d already turned to walk back out. Your heart shattered, but you pushed it to the side. You were not the one that should be upset in the situation. You jumped out of the bed, following after him. Just as he was rounding the corner into the hallway, Sam grabbed your wrist to stop you from following. “Let go, Sam.” You warned.

“Y/n, just wait until the morning. We’ve waited this long, we can wait one more day.” He begged.

“That’s the problem! We never should have waited this long to begin with!” You cried, still trying to shake yourself from his grip. “We lied to him. I hurt him. I’m still hurting him!”

“This isn’t a good idea, you’re both upset-“

“We’re going to be upset either way! I need to make it right with him before it’s too late. He’s my whole world, Sam.” You pleaded with him. Sam’s eyes darkened at your statement, once again feeling that pain he’d felt walking into Danny’s apartment the year before.

“What about me, y/n? Am I not part of that world, too?” He said, hurt dripping off of his words.

“What? Of course you are Sam, what do you mean?” You scoffed.

“I mean exactly what I said. This is just like it was in the beginning. No matter how many times we fuck, or how many times you say you love me, he’ll always come first, right?” You opened your mouth to retaliate, but found no words coming out. “That’s what I thought.” Sam rolled his eyes. “You wanna go talk to him? Fine by me.” He dropped your wrist. “It doesn’t matter what I think, anyway.”

“You’re jealous now, of all of the times you could’ve been jealous? We did something to hurt him and you’re pissed off because I want to make it right?”

“No, I’m pissed off because it seems like I was right the whole time. You may not have been fucking him, y/n, but he will always be the most important person to you. He says jump and you’ll do it, no matter how high. No matter who’s begging you not to.”

“Sam you’re being ridiculous.” You scowled, feeling the months of hatred and vicious words coming back.

“It’s four in the morning, y/n. He shows up drunk and wakes us up, barges in here and doesn’t even say a word to you, and you’re chasing after him. Im asking you to stay. I am begging you to at least wait until the morning, when he’s not drunk and you’re in your right mind, but you refuse to see that maybe that’s the most logical thing because like I said a million times before, he comes first, before anyone else. It. Will. Always. Be. Him.” He annunciated his words so harshly that it caused your blood to boil.

You couldn’t believe that after everything you’d told Sam, every memory and sweet word over the last few months, everything that you’d professed to him that night alone, he could throw this out the window so easily. Tears welled in your eyes, begging to be shed. You loved Sam, but he always seemed to be the one to know exactly how to break your heart. You thought that he’d changed, that him being an asshole was just one big misunderstanding, but maybe you were wrong. Maybe Sam would never change, no matter how much you hoped he would. “I’m not fighting with you over this, Sam. Not again.” You said, completely defeated. “I could go into the next room and spit on him, even kick him in the face and you’d still try and argue that I’m in love with him. You didn’t believe me when I told you the million other times, and you never will. I’m done fighting.” Your voice broke.

“If you leave,” he paused, eyes angry but you could tell it was covering sadness. “If you run out there after him, I’m done, y/n. I can’t always feel like I’m in second place.”

“That’s your problem, Sam. You’re trying to beat him in a race, but you guys aren’t even competing in the same one.” You took a step towards the hallway. “Oh, and if you’re genuinely giving me an ultimatum, whatever this is, ends here. Because if you make me choose, I will never forgive you.” You said, back turned to him now. You couldn’t see it, but a tear fell down his cheek, too. He didn’t answer, just watched you teeter between the hallway and his hotel room, hoping you’d turn back towards him.

“You say that because you know you’d choose him.”

“If you make me stay, we’re done.” You whispered.

“I guess we’re in stalemate, then.” He replied. You closed your eyes, praying he’d say something else, that he would change his mind. Instead, you were met with silence. You looked back at him over your shoulder, wanting to see him one last time before you made up your mind. The sadness in his features implored you to stay, to hold him and tell him you only ever wanted to love him, but the anger towards him that was brewing in your chest was overwhelming. “Please, y/n, come back to bed with me.” He tried one last time. You checked to make sure you’d slipped your phone and your car keys in your pocket when you got up, relieved when you found that you did.

“I love you, Sammy.” You whispered. His eyes glistened with hope, thinking that maybe you were going to stay. As soon as he’d let himself feel it, it was quickly shattered. You had stepped into the hallway and slammed his door shut, not even waiting for him to say it back. He stood, staring at the doorway where you’d been standing just seconds before, not knowing where to go from there.

.

Don’t worry!! It doesn’t end here, there will be a part three! 🫶🏻

[vincentsleftear]

So what I gathered from the book (anyone please feel free to jump in and correct me if I get any of this wrong) is that CSM somehow restored her fertility and extended her life, sort of winking at the Scully-is-immortal line of thinking. The restored fertility might be a result the action he took to extend her life, which was to somehow elongate her telomeres (the things at the end of our chromosomes). I'm not a STEM girly, so don't quote me exactly on that. It's obviously still super fucked that he tampered with her body in any way whatsoever without her consent, but/and I think the author of Perihelion did a great job turning a horrible situation into a less horrible situation. It's my belief that this is canon now—Mulder is and always was William's father, biological and otherwise. If you post this and anyone has any other take on it, feel free to add.

Now what in the world 😭. CSM is truly such a cartoony villain. Just popping up and fucking with those two for the sake of fucking with them. He’s like a mosquito that just keeps buzzing by your ear. Like damn, GO AWAY!!

I have mixed feelings about the addition of Scully’s fertility in the mytharc in general but the idea of CSM impregnating Scully without her knowledge is just straight up horrific. Too far. I’m glad they chose to change that.

And immortal!Scully being (kinda?) added into canon is really interesting!

Thanks for sharing! Probably wouldn’t have found out all of these new additions to the canon otherwise 😊🫶

[jymwahuwu]

Sorry if Dr. Ratio ramblings are not allowed

But him coming as free is kinda funny, like imagine you're just trying to do your own thing. Research and stuff maybe, and this arrogant man just joins you without consent whatsoever just to flex his genius or something 😭😭

Like, you could be one of Herta Space Station's top researched and he'll still consider you dumb as rocks

I haven't started accepting ramblings about Dr. Ratio yet because I don't know him well. So here are my personal thoughts -

Damn, I think it's very likely to happen😭🤚Dr. Ratio can randomly break into every moment of your life, or even worse, force you to learn mathematics, physics, literature, philosophy… How painful is forced learning. He doesn't care whether you are a top researcher at Herta Space Station or just a poor ordinary person. You understand and even start a debate but you still don't understand at all. In his opinion, you and he are not on the same level.

His ideal is to teach everyone knowledge, and you are a good example. He will teach you everything… even sex education? Well, he'll demonstrate how spanking stimulates your senses :3

[saynomorefic]

Guys, it's the last day 😭😭 I can't cope

For Simon's Month Day 31: Photos

When Wille started his photography class all those ago, Simon had been more than wary. Wille began with nature photography, but he needed someone to practice on for the portraits unit. Being the good boyfriend that he was, Simon had swallowed his feelings and volunteered. That's how it started, anyway.

Thank you forever @youngroyals-events we are all indebted to you 💜💜💜

Read on ao3 or below the cut <33 (G / 1K)

Simon had never loved getting his picture taken. He had trouble smiling in that genuine way Linda always wanted. She’d always make Sara tickle him, so he’d grin ‘for real, Simon, where your eyes smile too.’ As for childhood photos, there weren’t many to speak of. They were kids before smartphones made their way to the Eriksson household, and so most of their old photos were ones his aunts took of the whole family on Christmas.  

Simon hated school pictures even more, where they’d have to line up in order of height and whatever other classifications the photographer demanded. He itched to make sure his hair looked right, or there wasn’t something on his face, or his uniform wasn't so obviously wrinkled. On a good day, the photo would just make him look pissed off, which he didn’t mind much in the end. 

Then, of course, there was the video. His pixelated face made its way around Sweden. Simon was at the end of obtrusive lenses and flashes for many months after, subjected to seeing his face online and in random supermarket checkouts. It felt wrong that his face - frowning, laughing, in the midst of pleasure, full of anger and staring directly at the camera - was so ubiquitous that it didn’t feel like his anymore. It was something that other people could somehow capture and sell, often without his knowledge, always without his consent.

So when Wille started his photography class all those years ago, he’d been more than wary. Wille started with nature photography, but for the portraits unit he needed someone to practice on. Being the good boyfriend that he was, Simon had swallowed his feelings and volunteered. In the beginning they experimented with lighting and color, so Simon’s face was not always visible. Gradually, he’d gotten more used to the lens, and realized just how quickly Wille’s skills improved with the practice. It took time for him to not squirm under the attention, to not feel he was being distilled again. It made it easier that he wasn’t Wille’s only subject; they’d set up a little studio in the spare room of their first apartment, and guests were often wrangled into impromptu photoshoots. Wille had joked he wanted to be “one of those old men with the long-lens cameras, who take photos of their wives and kids on every holiday and picturesque view.” At the time, neither of them knew that it would become so true. Eventually Simon dropped his protests and just gave in, understanding that it did something for the both of them they thoroughly needed. He even learned to take pleasure in the silence of it, waiting for Wille’s subtle direction and learning how to find the light. 

Once his therapist had asked him if it was a way of them reclaiming what had happened. The thought hadn’t occurred to Simon so viscerally, but maybe there was a small part of him that felt like it was healing with each shutter. He got to the point where he enjoyed looking through photos of himself and of them, on vacation, at Christmas and New Years and friends’ parties. Any picture I take of you is a picture of us, Wille would remind him. Those pictures of his pixelated face, grainy expressions on cheaply printed paper, and even his uncomfortable smile next to Sara were replaced with genuine smiles and candid shots, close ups and frames so wide you could barely see his figure. It helped that his partner had an eye for it, was seemingly born to pour himself into a creative outlet that he could chip away at forever, somewhat like Simon and his music. 

Some of the photos went into albums that stacked on their coffee table over the years. Others made it to Christmas cards sent halfway around the world. A few times, Wille held intimate gatherings at their house, inviting close friends to look through his work that often featured Simon. Wille saw no issue with Simon being, as he lovingly put it, his ultimate muse. Lastly, and most embarrassingly, Wille’s favorites ended up on the walls in the foyer, above the dresser in their bedroom, and over the fireplace. Not all were of Simon; he had to explain to Wille how disconcerting it was to have his guests stare at pictures of him only when they were sitting on their living room couch. 

Then there were the couples’ photos, which Simon felt were slightly more appropriate to display in their common areas. Simon picked his favorite, the one from their honeymoon in Azores, to hang in the nursery, which were soon joined with Claudia’s baby pictures, then toddler pictures, then pictures of all of the cousins. Wille did not miss a milestone, and Claudia grew up with not a single holiday, birthday, or life event going undocumented. The albums on the coffee table stacked, Wille gained a new muse, and the photos eventually spilled into a closet or two. Eventually Wille had two editors of his photos, so that when the albums eventually came out and the prints were made there wasn’t a great uproar. 

Simon loved all of those photos; he loved the feeling he got when he’d turn his way through the pages. It chronicled all they’d been through and surpassed, all the moments little and big they bore witness to. Very rarely, Wille let Simon turn the camera around on him. He had his own fair share of photography trauma, all photos of him seemingly belonging to the Swedish public. They had that in common. It was perhaps his own reclamation, his way of letting someone else be the focus, but when Simon pointed out the obvious hypocrisy he had no choice but to let him. While Wille was always composing the right angles, capturing each beautiful place they went, or staging Simon in their studio just right, Simon preferred following Wille around the house, taking innocuous pictures of an uncomposed and often unaware Wille. There were pictures of him taking Claudia to school, or doing the dishes, or shaving in the morning. Somehow they both learned to capture the life they'd gifted to each other: joined parts that they had both yearned for, just for them to share. 

[hchollym]

Viren x Aaravos in Season 5

I wrote about Viravos in Season 4 in this post, and now that I've finished watching Season 5, I have so many feelings!

*Under the cut due to spoilers.

Poor Claudia was literally out there fighting for her life to get Aaravos' prison so she could set him free, and Aaravos was just ignoring her so he could talk to Viren. 🤣

Aaravos told Claudia that she had to free him in order to save Viren, but as soon as they got close to the prison, Aaravos was going to complete the spell even before he was released. He wasn't even waiting to see if Claudia held up her end of the deal; he's just like. "Oh look, my husband is finally here after 2 years. Time to make sure he stays alive." 🥰

He didn't even need to save Viren. Claudia was going to release him anyway, and then he could have just pretended that it was too late (especially since it was the 30th day), but instead, his entire focus was on Viren.

I love that as soon as Viren saw Aaravos, he was just like "No" & Aaravos didn't even register the rejection at first; he was just happy, asking, "Where are you going? This is a special day." Like he clearly expected Viren to celebrate with him.

Then, when Viren kept walking away, Aaravos' expression quickly changed to confusion & then anger as he commanded Viren to stop, like "Don't walk away from me!"

Aaravos got over it quickly though, looking happy again when he reached out & said, "You're so close now. We're finally on the cusp of each other's realities." He didn't say, "I'm almost free." He specially talked about both of their locations. He was basically saying, "We can finally be together now," & then he took Viren's arm so he could bring him back to his prison with him.

When Viren said that he would never sacrifice his child, Aaravos replied, "Relax. I wouldn't expect you to harm Claudia or Soren. You will sacrifice your other child." Despite all the crap that Viren has done to Soren over the years, Aaravos still knows him well enough to know that he wouldn't sacrifice one of his children, and he purposely found another way to make this process easier for Viren. 🥺

The "Our child" statement! The look of shock on Viren's face as Aaravos drops the bombshell that he literally created a child for them without Viren's knowledge or consent. He was like, "I wanted a baby with you, so I got one." 😱 Poor Viren.

Then Aaravos was showing images of the "baby" and saying, "Our baby was so cute. And he's grown into quite the strapping young homunculus. Are you telling me you can't see the resemblance? He has my lovely eyes. I'm afraid his voice must be from your side of the family." He was literally like, "This baby is a mixture of us. We made him, and he's perfect" as Viren is just horrified.

"Now he's here for you. And I will show you how to use every drop of his living essence to restore your own life and your future." Aaravos is really out here willing to sacrifice his own child to save his husband. Harsh! 😭

Then he continues with the statement, "The resurrection spell will expire tonight, and you will die. You must make the sacrifice." He was being very forceful with his tone of voice as he pushed Viren towards Sir Sparklepuff. "If you don't, tomorrow the sun will rise, and you will not." Again, the tone was firm as he guided Viren's hands on the blade, like "Tick tock; time is running out. Let's go boo. Get it done."

When Viren said, "No more dark magic, never again! I am done with it. And I am done with you!" Like good for you sweetie! But Aaravos looked so offended, and it was clear that he was thinking "What the f*&k just happened?" before he disappeared:

At the end, when Viren was lying on the grass, yet again Aaravos appeared to him (instead of Claudia, who just lost his prison) and said, "Tomorrow the sun will rise. And you will not." His tone and expression of that same statement from earlier were angry this time, and it was clear that he'd moved onto the anger stage of the break up:

Viren was just trying to escape a toxic relationship, and Aaravos was basically like, "If you leave me, I will kill you." 😫 It's a harsh but realistic ending for this pairing.

Although, I'm not sure that I believe Viren will really die like that. Something tells me that there's going to be a loophole, like Claudia's sacrifice of a leg will be enough to give Viren the "blood of a child" & keep him alive.

I just really want to see Claudia & Soren's faces when they find out that their dad had a baby with Aaravos & Sir Sparklepuff is their half-brother. 😂

Extra: I couldn't resist making these -

[pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid]

No no no no! 😭 they’re not!!

Reposting is stealing the post and posting it somewhere else (as your own) and without the creator’s knowledge/consent.

Reblogging is just spreading the post and Tumblr algorithm heavily relies on the reblog which helps creators :D

Can you draw Percy in a shark onesie and Annabeth in an owl onesie? I need it for a fanfic. Happy birthday by the way, I love your art.

They dance 🎶

[monstress]

why the fuckkkk does iphone need a LIDAR scanner anyway

[ginjointsintheworld]

in all these years in this vital industry, it never occurred to me that leyla would be the one suggesting lauren paid for her lawyer. i was 100% sure this storyline would be like lauren offers leyla all kinds of help and leyla refuses everything that involves lauren's money until they come up with a reasonable plan, *together*. it just seems odd to me that the same leyla who was heartbroken because lauren tried to control her with money would turn into the leyla who asks for lauren's money this time... i don't want to get emotional about it before i actually watch the episode but i guess i already am. on the other hand, the scene is very bittersweet and cute idk. thoughts?

first of all anon, "in all these years in this vital industry" had me cackling 😭

disclaimer for my answer: anon, i know you sent this before watching the episode but i'm answering it post watch so i'ma use your ask as my response Thoughts Vomit fjdsfkld.

(omg this got so long lemme put it under a read more)

ngl, i thought the same as you, that it would be lauren scrambling for ideas until they eventually hash one out together. but at the same time, i do think how it went down was good enough and dare i even say fitting in it's simplicity lol. because look at how it went down. leyla is preoccupied on her phone both times that we see her in 4x16, presumably talking with her case worker. she wasn't planning on confiding in lauren about her visa issue until lauren stopped her to ask what was wrong. so i think it's pretty clear at this point that leyla had considered asking lauren for the money to cover a lawyer's fees but she hadn't made up her mind about it and was trying to buy more time elsewhere. it isn't until their conversation while looking for casey, which even at that point leyla tried to avoid talking about her visa, 'you don't want to know,' until lauren gently pushes back, that they finally broach the topic. from there it's made clear that leyla has exhausted all the options available to her. she tried legal aid and pro-bono programs and she's tried working with her case worker. leyla has taken this as far as she can on her own, with the resources she does have.

this isn't like her refusing a shelter or hotel, where the alternative option was her car no matter how potentially unsafe it was. this isn't like the 5th residency spot, where the alternative option was the washington residency that she had already secured. this is deportation that we're talking about. through no fault of leyla and through no fault of lauren, the u.s. government in it's bureaucratic nonsense, is threatening to send leyla back to the country she fled. she has no fall back plan here. this situation cannot be equated with the donation situation. a visa is not something that can or should be earned like a residency spot. and if we're being frank, i would have been infinitely more angry if they had written leyla to be so prideful that she would have rather been deported back to pakistan, a place she left behind her friends, family, where she's lived her whole life, because the situation was so bad, because she couldn't bring herself to ask for help she deserves.

also here's the thing. aside from say, NA sponsoring leyla for a temporary worker visa instead, however lauren helped leyla was always going to involve giving leyla access to something she has, whether that be connections or money. if lauren had pull with a foundation, provided leyla her own lawyer, it was just different ways of dressing it up. would i have liked the writers to get more creative? sure, it's primetime tv, of course. but the main point is that this time it was leyla consenting to the help and having full knowledge in it. what leyla was most hurt and betrayed by wasn’t lauren using money but what she used it for. which was acting on leyla’s behalf and then lying about it and letting leyla make a choice without the full picture. but asking for help, isn't asking to be saved. leyla herself, knows she's exhausted all options she has with her own resources. even though lauren is providing the money to obtain a lawyer, whatever is going to get sorted out for now is between leyla and her lawyer. and again the involvement of money in this case isn't the same as before. lauren has nothing to gain from their relationship or herself by giving leyla the money now, there's no control to be exerted. in fact, lauren has been pretty clear to leyla at this point that she's accepted their relationship is over and that she's not pursuing leyla even though she still loves her more than anything else. leyla's sees this as well. this isn't about control and this isn't about lauren trying to garner a favor or win points. hell just hours earlier she found lauren trying to climb into a potted plant to give leyla her space.

this situation is allowing them to do what they never had a chance to with the 5th residency spot, which is lay it all out, thoughts, feelings, worries, on the table. they're communicating. leyla making it clear to herself that she's done everything in her power to take care of this situation on her own and clear to lauren that she doesn't want lauren to feel used, that it isn't her intention. lauren making it clear to leyla that she loves her beyond their romantic relationship and wants to help leyla achieve her dreams that she's worked so fucking hard for and endured countless hardship already to get to where she is. lauren would've helped leyla if she had always been nothing more than a friend. it's after this understanding that they agree for lauren to help with the legal fees. i think it's VERY important that that came after their scene in the OR and it wasn't lauren immediately agreeing when they were on the street after it first gets brought up through reluctant admissions.

and you know what else is different this time? lauren's mindset with the money. when she whispered that serenity prayer to herself in the ED closet, distraught and desperate, "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference," there was a difference. the residency spot was ultimately, something that lauren shouldn't have changed. she knew it, felt it, then. it wasn't her right to change. but this is. this is something that can be changed and leyla is asking her to help change. it's interesting actually, that lauren, as we've seen her do, has essentially overcorrected in her mindset. after the confrontation in 4x10, which stuck heavily with lauren, she sees her money as a curse again. that whatever she uses it for is tainted. she voices it to casey, "if i give it to her, then she'll get to stay. but then our entire relationship is transactional and eventually, she'll resent me for it," but it's not the same. lauren isn't getting any benefit in return here for helping leyla with the visa, she actually makes it a point to tell leyla that she doesn't want anything but to help her. and leyla wouldn't resent her for this because lauren is helping leyla avoid a life changing situation that she wants to avoid. the way leyla looked at lauren when she was explaining why she wants to give leyla the money, the way leyla hugged her, the weight that we could actually see evaporate from leyla's shoulders, all demonstrate it. this was a fucked up situation out of their control and lauren would never, ever, use it as a gotcha/trump card against leyla. in fact, leyla was likely worried that lauren would resent her. but because the wound of their breakup is still fresh and the idea of money and control is still lingering in lauren's mind, it feels to her, like helping leyla with the legal fees, aiding through money, is another nail in their relationship coffin. but she chooses this path because it's the right thing to do and it's what leyla deserves. lauren bloom would champion leyla shinwari through thick and thin, highs and lows, the worst times and the best, because the world should be able to know her at her fullest potential. the love she carries for leyla has always been unconditional and she'd prove it without hesitation or remorse, time and time again.

p.s. i'd also just like to say that it's because of lauren's worry that leyla will eventually come to resent her for the money that i'm still holding out for a conversation where leyla acknowledges she went too far by saying lauren tried to own her by buying her food and clothes because that wasn't lauren's intention and i think leyla knew those are basic necessities of life, not something to be deprived until earned.

[transfemmes]

• I could not get over the obvious self-insert of the author as the girl mc (Ana - Ava + they're both Chinese 😭) like the author herself said this was her favorite couple and man to write uh yeah we can tell

• They spent every holiday together for the past 8 years and their first conversation was the fucking car ride in the beginning????

• If a man talked to me like that I'm fucking off

• He stalked her for over a year. They only got back together in the end because she was used to it. Girl that man admitted to manipulating you and hiring people to watch you without your knowledge or consent this is Stockholm Syndrome.

• WHEN HE STARTED SINGING IN PUBLIC??????

A cousin convinced me to read a romance book over the weekend because I hadn't in a while and I trusted her and as soon as I finished the last page I called her work immediately to tell her it was fucking horrible

[mayordeas-clone]

About Me

Hello, I am Mayor. I am an aroace artist and appreciator of Kagamine Rin.

I am also on Instagram, @mayor_doi.

I'm also apart of a Discord server dedicated to fanfic about the Smash Bros. series! More info found on this page.

(I am planning on making an art-only blog in the future since I do a lot of reblogging! I'll replace this pinned post when I do actually make it though)

(I don’t take commissions/requests because it just ain’t my jam)

Main Interests

☆ Vocaloid (The music, producers, and associated characters) ☆JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (My favorite parts are 4, 5, and 7) ☆Shining Nikki ☆Animal Crossing (Mainly New Horizons interior design) ☆Mii games (Mainly Miitopia and Tomodachi Life, so I might make some of crossover art because of them 😭) ☆The Super Smash Bros series... and by that I mean Fire Emblem Awakening ☆Probably other stuff too

I mostly make fanart pertaining to these interests :) As you can see, there's a lot of things that I like to draw for. So it's best that you don't follow me expecting to see art from one specific fandom 😅 I don't have a real pattern to what I decide to draw fanart for, I prefer to just post whatever.

I have OCs but I don't post them much. Maybe one day when I'm more comfortable I'll share my children. For now, I just plan to have them piled in my Mayor's OCs tag. The general art tag for my page is Mayor Doidles.

Stuff I Use

For digital art I use Procreate on an iPad. For traditional art I use an assortment of stolen mechanical pencils and grading pencils for sketching, Ohuhu markers or crusty watercolors for coloring, and assorted black fineliners for inking.

Reposting

No resposts ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) Even if you credit me I doubt anyone will go look for me, so to reiterate: no resposts. Personal use? Sure! Wallpaper for phone/computer is fine if that suits you for whatever reason. Profile picture is also acceptable if you credit me in your bio! But regular posts that reupload my art? No. And obviously using it for monetized purposes without my consent or knowledge is also a big no. Be smart.

Anyway

That's all. Might edit this post along the way. I don't plan on being too open with my random thoughts on this blog (That will be my Discord friends' problem) but idk maybe it'll end up being that when I get more comfortable. I mostly lurk and occassionally post art. I want to make my page safe for anyone to interact with. I really hate Internet drama/discourse so I won't be bringing any of that here, and if you can do the same, we'll have a grand old time 👍