#with links to like. personal websites and random blogs i would never have stumbled across organically
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something something I think the discourse around whether or not its acceptable to criticize fics and in what context in part stems from the way online fandom has changed and now resides primarily in spaces where it's extremely difficult to effectively curate your own experience, and even the platforms which give you some tools to do that (like tumblr) are still fundamentally public platforms rather than closed/intentional communities. older fandom spaces resembled discord servers more than tumblr or twitter and so older fandom etiquette vs newer fandom etiquette have been shaped around different kinds of spaces. and this even extends to fic platforms - in the past most fic was hosted in spaces dedicated to specific fandoms or interests (with some exceptions) or even subsections of fandom, whereas now most of it is hosted on ao3 which, while it does give you strong navigation tools is also fundamentally a very open and public platform. don't have the presence of mind right now to trace the specifics of how this effects current day fandom discourse but I think it HAS to be a major factor
#my first fanfiction exposure was from a website that was dedicated to fic from only one fandom#unfortunately that website is defunct now#and a lot of my early fic experience also came from curated LJ lists#with links to like. personal websites and random blogs i would never have stumbled across organically#i was 13 at the time and already a lot of these reclists were outdated + full of broken links#idk I think a lot about how my early fandom experience circa 2012-2014 looks entirely different from my 2023-2024 fandom experience
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Shipping it like the Titanic
Sam secretly writes fanfiction between killing monsters and fending off the apocalypse-of-the-day. In heaven, a newly recovered Gabriel discovers smut and decides to try his hand. Because that's all sabriel will ever be for either of them, obviously- a far-off fantasy.
There's no way what they're writing about could ever find its way into their real lives. No way whatsoever.
AO3
Rating: E for Lemon Pairings: Sabriel Words: too many (10k and growing)
Written for the @gabriel-monthly-challenge and encompassing not one, not two, but three of the prompts! Woohoo! A record for me!
This is only half of it, because, as usual, the prompt grew out of proportion, so there will me more. It’ll be posted chapter-wise on AO3, because I know me- there’ll be more details I want to add in!
tagging @warlockwriter, @archangelgabriellives, @archangel-with-a-shotgun, @archangelsanonymous, @ttttrickster and @revwinchester!
It started with the play.
Sam had almost forgotten about the Supernatural books- their lives went crazy on such a regular basis that any form of insanity that wasn’t directly threatening their lives tended to be quickly pushed into the background. But it all came back to him in vivid detail as he watched a fifteen-year-old with yellow contacts gleefully daub red paint onto the face of a plastic doll that he was fairly sure was meant to be representing him.
It had been a surreal experience, seeing those schoolgirls play out their various adventures. There was something almost… freeing about it, he realised as he watched the recording again on the way back to the bunker. It really put some of the crazy crap they went through into perspective.
And then Dean had to go and make a big deal out of the… interpretations of the supernatural books. And Sam got curious, okay?
So the next time he had a few hours to himself while Dean was out doing god knew what, Sam got himself a beer from the fridge, sat himself down at the library table, flicked open his laptop and opened a browser tab.
A quick search was more than enough to find what he was looking for. It wasn’t exactly well hidden. The first result in google was the official website for Chuck’s books- it hadn’t aged well. Even back in 2007 when the books were being published Sam would have said it looked outdated. Whoever had designed it obviously wasn’t being paid much. Who ever made official graphics in comic sans? He shook his head, backtracking.
But the link below that led to a rather better curated fan site. Sam narrowed his eyes as he scrolled down. There were the links to the publishers, but also PDFs of the later, unpublished books. There were dates for conventions along with links to get tickets. And at the bottom, there was a series of links to other websites, presumably places to chat with other fans.
He hovered his cursor over the link simply entitled tumblr and clicked.
There was so much. More than Sam had even thought possible for a tiny series of books with a cult following.
He ended spending most of the afternoon falling into the apparently bottomless pit of online fandom. The raft of empty beer bottles at his elbow grew as he roamed his way through the understorey of the internet. He scrolled with fascination through blogs full of pictures edited to look like them, through fan theories of what they were like, and then speculation about things the books didn’t show. Continuations, ‘missing scenes’, and… other things. If Sam never had to accidentally read another poorly-written full-frontal account of Cas and Dean’s fictitious sex life, it would be too soon.
And, well, there were so many things they’d got wrong. Or not quite right. But Sam didn’t feel right about commenting on people’s stories; they didn’t want some randomer coming along and critiquing their characterisation.
So the only way to correct it, he thought with tipsy confidence, was to write it how it had actually happened. He started off small; wrote a few of their more recent hunts, made a blog, and before he could think about it too much, pressed that ‘post’ button.
When he woke up in the morning, he was surprised to find all the notes and comments. Apparently, people liked his writing. A lot.
So he wrote more. And more. Soon Sam was pretty sure he had an addiction. It wasn’t like he had any lack of free time in which to write- Dean was always so stubborn about which of them got to drive, so he had hours and hours of sitting in the passenger seat to fill, and there was only so long he could spend researching.
So his blog quickly grew.
At first, it was strictly real life that he wrote; hunts they’d recently been on, anecdotes, slices of their lives. It helped him to cope, to get all of his thoughts and emotions out of his head and onto paper. But soon, he was branching out into ‘fix it fic’- for him, it was wistful thoughts about possibilities of what could have been if they’d taken different roads. If they’d just managed to save a person here, trusted someone else there. One or two about what might happen if Cas and Dean ever pulled their heads out of their asses.
So he was pretty deep already by the time he stumbled across the Sabriel.
He had just woken up when he found it. He was sitting at the bunker kitchen table, scrolling through his feed over a cup of coffee. Gifset, meta analysis, pictures, art, gif-
Wait.
He got the the end of the post and just stopped scrolling for a second, blinking. Had that art been of him and Gabriel? He scrolled back up.
It was. They were hugging- the artist had got the height difference right, he distantly noted. It was a good likeness even. It was quite chaste compared to a lot of the things that crossed his screen, but there was… something about it. He blinked some more, feeling his forehead scrunch a little as he narrowed his eyes at the screen.
He wasn’t offended by it or anything. Mostly, he was just confused.
Him and Gabriel? Really?
Why?
He and Gabriel had barely known each other. The archangel had hardly talked to him. Even when he had, those words had more often than not been angry. They had started off hunting him after all. And they hadn’t parted mystery spot as friends. Hell, on top of that, Gabriel was dead! Long dead!
Sam clicked on the artist’s profile and scrolled further down, a huff of amused disbelief breaking out of him. The art definitely wasn’t a one-off, and judging from all the reblogs, they were far from the only shipper. No matter what had really happened, these people seemed to think that they had potential.
He sat back, resting his phone down on the table and considering. Huh. What would that even be called? Samiel? Sambriel?
He checked the tags. Sabriel, apparently.
It was impossible. Totally and utterly implausible. Maybe that was what drew him to it. There was no way any of this could work its way into Sam’s real life. He didn’t see any harm in it.
At first it just amused him. But gradually, over time, he found himself starting to seek it out. The ‘incorrect quotes’ made him laugh, either because they were hilariously out of character or (more often than not) hilariously in character. The mood boards made him smile. The art sometimes tugged too-tight at his heart, but it was always amazing. And the fic was something else.
Before he knew it, he was following a whole host of sabriel blogs, reblogging their content to his own. He even made a few friends.
And, gradually? He was starting to see it too. The books had been more revealing about Gabriel than he ever had been in real life. Meta posts pointed out the similarities between their characters, between their stories, and it made Sam realise that they really hadn’t been that different after all. Gabriel had been just as desperate and afraid as he was back then, he’d just had different ways of hiding it. And if the scant number of scenes from Gabriel’s point of view were as accurate as the rest of the books, it certainly looked like he’d had a soft spot for Sam, much as Sam thought he’d never showed it.
Just how many of their interpretations were true? he wondered as he stared at his dimmed computer screen while the streetlamps flashed past on another midnight road. Was there a possibility that, if Gabriel was alive, they could have got along?
He felt a little pang at the thought that they’d never talked at all, really, before he died. Sam felt he knew the archangel better now than he ever had back then. Knowing what he knew now, he wished that he’d at least been friends with him.
In a way, fictional Sam had it better than real him did. The more he read, the more he realised he was craving what his fictional self had; stability, a partner. Someone to come back home to, someone to wrap his arms around at night. It wasn’t like there could ever be any permanent lovers in his real life. He could never keep what he did a secret, or drag someone into this life. And after Eileen, he didn’t have the heart to date anyone within the business. The mortality rate for hunters was just too high.
He looked out the window, shaking his head at himself as they rushed through the night. How sad had his life become? A little voice at the back of his head whispered maliciously. Was he really sitting here daydreaming wistfully about a normal life like some kind of caricature of himself?
Well maybe I am, he retaliated almost angrily. He had few enough permanent good things in his life, and his writing was a lifeline that kept him afloat. It was an escape from the violence and monotony of their lives. It wasn’t hurting anyone. If he wanted to fantasise about having somebody who cared about him, then what the hell, he was gonna do it.
With renewed determination, he opened a new document and started to type.
...
So it went on. He wrote when Amara rose. He wrote then their Mom came back from the dead. He wrote to forget his torture at the hands of the British Men of Letters. He wrote when Cas died, when he lost their Mom, when they found Jack, when Cas returned from the Empty. It was his crutch; whenever things got bad, out came a fresh google doc and onto the page it all went. By the time they were trying to get their Mom back from the apocalypse world, his little blog had over two thousand followers all eagerly awaiting his updates.
So obviously, because this was the Winchester’s luck, that was when Gabriel came back to life.
.o0o.
Gabriel would like it noted down that it was Cas’ fault. For the record.
“Brother. You need to take a break.”
Gabriel looked down at him from heaven’s throne and raised an unimpressed eyebrow. It was a look he’d been perfecting these last few weeks since he’d come back upstairs to reclaim what was left of his birthright and discovered how almost frighteningly easily the other angels fell into line- the first time he’d done it, a cupid had actually keeled over.
Castiel, on the other hand, didn’t back down even half an inch. That seraph had balls of steel. It was one of the things Gabriel liked best about his brother- he had no fear of calling Gabriel out on his bullshit, unlike the rest of the cowardly sycophants up here.
“You have been snapping at the seraphim all week. I believe you need to, as Dean would put it, ‘take a load off’.”
He even crooked his fingers to make the air quotation marks. Adorable.
Gabriel heaved a sigh. “And what do you suggest I do? A zumba class? Go out and commune with nature?”
Castiel was undeterred by his prickly demeanor. “What did you used to do to relax?”
“Mess with dickheads until they died,” Gabriel answered. Cas stared at him blankly, waiting.
“... Make amateur porn?” he suggested.
Cas sighed, rolling his eyes and turning with a swish of trench coat. “Just… go and find something to do, Gabriel. Something productive. Read a book,” he called over his shoulder as he strode out of heaven’s throne room.
Gabriel scoffed to himself, slouching back on the throne to sulk. Read a book? Like literature could hold his attention at the moment. What he needed to do was get outta here and stop wallowing in his own juices!
But if he was being honest with himself (not something he made a habit of), he really didn’t know what he wanted to do once he did manage to get out. He was… aimless. And the longer he sat here with nothing to distract him, the more those memories lurking at the back of his mind dragged their fingernails against his consciousness.
You know what? Maybe he would read that book.
He stood and snapped himself to the nearest bookstore before he had any more time to chew it over. Walking over to the fiction section, he perused along the shelves. Yes, escapism, that was what he needed!
But nothing appealed. Every damn book he picked up seemed to be either a cheap Game of Thrones knock-off or vampire erotica, and he’d already had his fun with Stephanie Meyer.
He was about to snap himself away again in frustration when he paused. There was something poking out of the discount book bin. That cover looked strangely familiar…
He picked it up, smirking at the hunks on the cover, and turned it over to read the blurb. His eyes widened. Holy guacamole. He couldn’t believe it!
He started laughing, uncontrollable whole-body-shaking hoots that quickly turned into constricted wheezing, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. People started backing away from him, but he didn’t care. Oh, this was great! Of all the books that had to catch his eye, it had to be this one. If he didn’t know better, he’d say this was Dad-ordained fate.
He nearly skipped up to the counter, slapping the book down next to the cash register. “Hey, you got any more of these?”
The guy behind it eyed him with concern. “Yeah, should be more if you dig in the bottom of the bin. You like them?”
“Oh yeah,” Gabriel grinned like a slightly manic shark. “I’m a big fan.”
...
“Father above, their lives are depressing.”
Gabriel tossed the last book off the dais with a sigh, lobbing it neatly through a wormhole. Well, that had helped pass a few hours, at least. But after binging his way through two entire lifetimes’ worth of tragedy and man-tears, he was outta reading material.
What now?
Idly, Gabriel pulled out the phone that Sam had given him the last time he popped down to update them. Installing WiFi in heaven had been the first thing he did when he limped back. His siblings would thank him. Eventually.
He typed ‘supernatural’ into google.
And, wow. His eyes widened. That was a lot of porn. Ah, humanity at their finest- it didn’t matter how angst-soaked the source material was, in his experience, there was always at least one fan who would say, “hmmm this needs more nudity!” And, apparently, this fandom had more than one fan who thought Sam and Dean needed more hanky panky in their lives.
He chuckled, scrolling down the entries. Damn, he liked these people already!
“Bingo.” He clicked on a link.
The site flashed up before his eyes, summaries and ratings in their colourful boxes catching his attention. Now this was more like it! He snapped himself up a big tub of popcorn and dug in.
…
He was half way through the tag when he started finding the sabriel.
For the first time since he’d started reading four days ago, his finger paused on the touchpad. His grin faded a little.
So they’d noticed that, had they? He’d thought it wasn’t too obvious from the books, but humans were intuitive.
Tentatively, he clicked. He read, getting more and more wound up the further down he got.
He snorted to himself as he reached the bottom of the page. Where was the danger? The drama? The strippers? He didn’t belong in a coffee shop AU! He pressed the back button, scowling. He searched the tag itself, and wasn’t much more impressed. Why was there so much domesticity? He was a maverick! A rolling stone!
Hey, maybe he should start writing? Show them all where they were going wrong? Because somewhere along the line they’d clearly got the completely wrong impression of his character.
And okay, he thought as he set himself up an account, so maybe they’d been right about him nursing a little crush on the younger Winchester from afar. That was fine! Nobody in real life needed to know! He could just bury that one at the bottom of the ocean in a mental curse box with all the other things he deliberately didn’t think about. As far as Gabriel was concerned, he would keep all his feelings right here in his chest, and then one day Sam would die, and that would be the end of it. And Gabriel’s heart would shatter into a million tiny shards and he would never be quite right again.
But whatever! Not like that was gonna spillover into what he wrote or anything. No, this work of creative genius was gonna be one-hundred-percent SEX, as many chapters of raunchy, kinky, personal-fantasy-fulfilling porn as he could get out onto paper. No feelings here. None whatsoever.
So he conjured a laptop, opened up a playlist for inspiration, and started to write.
.o0o.
The first time that Sam ever really paid any attention to Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets was when he reblogged the call-out post:
Fandoms-forevr: I don’t care what they say, Sam is always the worst character. No matter what else he’s done, the stans can’t deny the facts; he opened a portal to hell. He opened the cage and started the apocalypse. He’s a selfish, manipulative asshole. Tbh if Sam wasn’t in the books, Dean could be retired by now and not be dragged around cleaning up after Sam’s sorry ass.
Sam apologists, don’t interact.
It had been nearly 3am and most of the way through a bottle of whisky, and Sam had reblogged it as an act of drunken self-flagellation. Then he had flicked his phone off, rolled over, and fallen asleep like a baby seal that had been clubbed over the head with a bottle of Jack Daniels.
He woke up to online carnage.
He thought that the notifications were a hallucination from his raging hangover for a second, but when he blinked they didn’t disappear. His eyes widened as he scrolled down the long list of angry reblogs. Some seemed to be arguing for him, some against him. Who the hell had started all this drama?
He scrolled down to the first reblog.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets reblogged: I’m sorry, but Sam? A ‘selfish, manipulative asshole’? What have you been smoking? Whatever it is, put that blunt down, cos it’s making you delusional.
First off, I know this post is about Sam, but you really think Dean would stop hunting without having to be literally chained to the floor? Puh-lease, that boy isn’t gonna stop moving until he gets hitched to Castiel.
Anyway, back to Sam. You’re wrong. Don’t know how you can’t see that, but here, let me take you to the character optometrist...
And then they went off.
The post kept going, a whole list of passionate arguments. Sam felt a smile twitch at the corner of his mouth. He might not agree with their points, but whoever they were, they had style.
Sam had seen people defending him before. He tended to avoid those sorts of posts; it made him uncomfortable for some reason. He knew he didn’t deserve these people’s praise. But for some reason, those usual feelings of guilt and inadequacy weren’t surfacing
The good feelings faded when he opened up his personal messages.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets said: Call yourself a Sam fan? I thought you were meant to be on his side?
Sam frowned at his phone. The reblogs, okay, but personal messaging? Really? His fingers poised over the keys to write an acerbic response, but he restrained himself. He didn’t owe random dickheads on the internet any explanations!
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets… why was that familiar? He’d seen them around once or twice before, he realised; sabriel wasn’t the biggest ship ever, so chances were if someone was on board then Sam would have at least heard of them.
But recently, Gabriel’s real life return had put a bit of a damper on his reading and writing. It was one thing writing yourself into a relationship with someone who was, to all intents and purposes, not real- it was quite another to write yourself sharing a loving embrace with someone who regularly popped in to give you updates on how heaven was doing under new management. He was surprised he could even look Gabriel in the face after some of the things he’d read about them.
That was it! Sam nodded to himself as he realised where he’d seen them before. The kinkmeme. Of course.
He opened up their A03 profile. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing in there less explicit than an E. Half of their fics made Sam blush down to his scalp just by looking at the summaries. There were some… colourful entries in there.
Sam hovered his cursor over the latest fic. With trepidation, he clicked.
“Spank me. It’s the only way I learn.”
Sam waved his cute patootie in the air, already marked with several cherry-red handprints like the naughty boy he was.
“Oh, you’re gonna learn, sweet-cheeks. And you’re gonna enjoy it.”
Gabriel ran his fingers across the array of toys before him, and as he glanced up, a sharp smirk tugging at his lips, he had never looked more dangerous. Dangerous, powerful and sexy. He picked out the biggest dildo, the one as long as Sam’s arm and twice as shiny, and in one swift thrust he rammed it into his tight little-
“Oh my god,” Sam choked, turning the laptop screen away a little. He needed a moment. That was… that wasn’t physically possible. Or at least, not pleasurable at all. It couldn’t be.
Was it?
He glanced back at the text. It was just morbid curiosity, that was all, he told himself. Just morbid... curiosity…
He read the whole thing. And then another one. And another one.
Sam surreptitiously adjusted his pants. Okay, so they could write, he thought to himself. That didn’t make them any less of an asshole. But he did decide to message them back.
Moose-of-Letters- Look, we’ve got different opinions. Could you just stay in your lane and stop bothering me?
It took a surprisingly short length of time before a reply to pop up.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets- I’ll stop bothering you when you aren’t reblogging hate posts
Sam scowled, feeling his temper rise. Who did they think they were, telling him what he could and couldn’t have on his blog? Like their own wasn’t a dumpster fire of discourse posts!
“What you looking at?”
Sam nearly jumped out of his seat, hiding his phone in reflex. Dean was standing behind him, grey robe on, steaming mug of coffee in hand.
“Selkie lore,” Sam grunted defensively.
Dean snorted. “What have selkies ever done to you?” Sam looked up again, frowning in confusion. Dean plonked himself down in the seat opposite, pulling the toast towards himself. “You look like you’re ready to open up a can of whoop-ass. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Sam muttered. “Late night, that’s all.” Dean raised his eyebrows but stayed silent, accepting his answer. Sam angled his phone away from his brother and typed furiously.
Moose-Of-Letters Commented: I’m not going to even bother arguing with you. If we can’t have a conversation like adults, then just fuck off.
He brought up their profile, his finger hovering over the ‘block’ button, but he paused. They were one of his followers.
Maybe… maybe he was being a little harsh. It had been a hate post, and he usually tried to be positive about all the ‘characters’, while he was sober at least- he didn’t normally put up with character hate. He’d been pretty vocal about it in the past. No wonder people had been taken aback, even if this one had dealt with it rudely. Slowly, he took his finger off the button, going back to the chat. How should he phrase this?
Moose-Of-Letters Commented: Look, some of the stuff with Sam is kind of personal for me, it’s a bit too close to home. I’m sorry if I got snappy with you.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets- Oops. Too late for that
What did that mean? As soon as Sam thought that, his feed updated. And there it was, right at the top.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets posted- The great battle for Sam’s dignity begins. Who woulda thought it but Moose-of-Letters is officially the enemy of the people. I declare war!!
The text was followed by a gif of a pair or armoured knights facing off while brandishing rubber dildos. Already there had been another flurry of reblogs and arguments. Sam rolled his eyes, turning off is phone. Why did he even bother?
…
Gabriel was scrolling down his feed idly. Honestly, as much as he moaned about ruling heaven, there wasn’t that much to do. The most difficult thing he’d solved this morning was a disagreement between the Virtues as to whether the lesser cherubs should be classified using a tiered system or not. Who cared! It didn’t matter!! After that, the inane squabbles of tumblr discourse looked almost sensible.
Almost.
But then, he did enjoy causing chaos and then sitting back and watching everyone fall over themselves in indignation. That was just funny.
And what was even better were the increasingly frustrated and snarky reblogs he’d been getting from an account he’d decided to target after they reblogged that Dad-awful Sam hate post. They’d totally deserved it. He was amazed they hadn’t blocked him yet, but he was taking advantage of having someone to rile up while it lasted. Their replies had been getting progressively more pointed and it gave Gabriel a vicious sort of satisfaction. He was planning another volley of posts this afternoon, and he had some scorching insults lined up.
He reblogged some excellent fanart of Dean in a pair of pink panties (must remember to leave that somewhere for him to find), skipped over another post about the latest tumblr scandal (someone was making earrings out of human bones!?), but then he paused. He felt a flash of excitement- his nemesis was posting again.
Moose-of-Letters posted: Ugh, it annoys me so much when people try to pass Gabriel off as someone who just has loads of sex and eats candy and does nothing else. Like whatever, you want an outlet for your kinks, but it’s just bad characterisation.
Oh, he knew who this was aimed at. He felt his feathers fluff in annoyance. They were vagueing about him? And for all the things they could go for, they decided to take aim at writing. He quickly batted away a twinge of insecurity. It was his aesthetic! Who were they to judge his style? He could write Gabriel however the hell he liked!
He had a strange moment of dissociation where he realised he’d been thinking of himself in the third person, but he brushed it off. Obviously they thought they were just judging a character, but there was no way he couldn’t take this personally. Gabriel was offended on behalf of his fictional self. He opened up a direct message window again.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets- Look, if you’ve got a problem with my fics, just come into my comments and flame me like a normal person.
It didn’t take long for a reply to come in.
Moose-of-Letters- What makes you think that post’s about your fics? Hmm it’s almost as though you know it’s a flaw in your writing
And then, before Gabriel could do more than gape at his screen in disbelieving insult,
Moose-of-Letters- And it’s not that I don’t enjoy your writing, but I find your characterisation of Gabriel is off. You write him as though he’s just this candy-addicted nymphomaniac when it’s obvious that those things are shields. I was just trying to get people to appreciate that he’s clearly a much more complex character with deeper motivations!
Shields!? Where were they getting this stuff? Gabriel liked sex! He loved sex! All hot people all the time!
Well, the best defence was a good offence.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: Well if you’re so high and mighty, how would you characterise Gabriel? Sensitive with a side of Single Man Tears?
The jumping dots appeared under his reply. Then they stopped.
Gabriel smirked. Ha! Come back to that, dickweed!
But then the dots were back, the person on the other end obviously typing furiously. Gabriel watched, waiting for the answer to appear. What the hell were they writing, an essay? A novel? An epic?
Moose-of-Letters- Of course not. He’s an archangel, a warrior. But I think that Gabriel cares a lot more than he lets on. He’s got a huge heart, even though he tries his best to hide it because he’s been hurt by people he cares about. And I think that he feels a lot of hurt about his family. I think that’s why he gets so mad at Sam and Dean in TV land, because they remind him of his brothers, but he knows that he can’t yell at them directly so Sam and Dean get the brunt of his anger instead.
Gabriel winced. Not one of his better moments.
Moose-of-Letters- But I think that even more than loving his brothers, Gabriel loves humanity. In the Elysian Fields motel I think it’s clear that he feels guilty that he wasn’t strong enough to protect the humans from the apocalypse, even though that was never his fault. The Winchesters should have never guilted him into it, because every time he tries to help them he ends up dead.
Well, Moose wasn’t wrong.
The worst part was that he did seem to have Gabriel right so far. The guy had him bang on, whoopie for him. It wasn’t even like they were using that knowledge to insult him- they were defending him, even! But there was something painfully vulnerable about somebody laying out his character like that. Something violating. Like ripping off a scab and leaving the stinging, raw emotions underneath open to the elements.
And it made Gabriel angry. Suddenly, he realised that was what this feeling brewing in his chest and prickling behind his eyes was. His blood was boiling; who were these people to Know him? He hadn’t given out any of this information voluntarily!! It had been ripped from his control, the most intimate workings of his mind printed on pulp and handed out for people on the internet to pick over, like vultures at a carcass.
Suddenly, the books didn’t seem so funny any more. He was starting to realise why the Winchesters had wanted them gone for all these years
Screw his Dad, seriously. A+ parenting all round.
He was about to angrily snap the laptop shut when another message popped up.
Moose-of-Letters- I think all the characters tend to underestimate Gabriel, in different ways, and I think that the writer did too. I just have a lot of admiration for his character because I can relate to a lot of what he’s gone through.
Gabriel deflated. These people didn’t know. They hadn’t got a clue that any of this was real. And this person in particular had obviously seen his character, him, for who he was, but they hadn’t run screaming. They were… defending him?
He stared at the screen, nonplussed. Why?
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: You really like Gabriel, huh?
Moose-of-Letters: I think it’s impossible to spend all this time getting to know about someone and not care about them.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: and you think you know him? The real him?
Moose-of-Letters: I’d like to think so. Hey, sorry I came off as an asshole. And I’m sorry if I’ve been an asshole about other things as well. It’s just something I’m really passionate about.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: That makes two of us.
Gabriel quirked an ironic little smile to himself. Even here, in the underbelly of the internet, people were still reminding him why he’d always defended humanity. Their ability for change and forgiveness was something he wished angels had a hang of. He kept typing.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: I guess I should apologise for the insults, even if they were super creative. And you’re not a bad writer yourself. My dad was a writer once, and you’re definitely better than him. I’m pretty new to it.
Moose-of-Letters: I’d be happy to give you some pointers if you’ll give me some! your smut is hot as hell ;)
Gabriel laughed, properly this time. Oh, he could already tell this was going to be a very fruitful alliance.
.o0o.
Goldenhorns posted- There’s nothing weirder than seeing Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets and Moose-of-Letters getting along. It’s like watching God and Satan getting pally.
Vatican-came0s commented: Correction; there’s only one thing weirder than seeing Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets and Moose-of-Letters getting along, and it’s seeing them give each other fic suggestions. How the hell is that even happening!?
Gabes-hoe commented: I have no idea, but they will have the most gorgeous plotty-smutty literature babies together
Guess_who_lost_a_shoe commented: I for one welcome our new fic creating overlords!
Gabriel smirked as he saw the post crop up on his dash. It was definitely more entertaining watching everyone’s sudden confusion at them getting along than it ever had been when he was trying to make them angry.
It was the strangest friendship he’d ever made, and coming from someone who’d spent several centuries as a trickster god, that was saying something.
But he and Moose (as he’d insisted on calling him) had started talking more and more over the last three weeks, and the more they talked, the more Gabriel was realising that they had in common. Seeing his own character through someone else’s eyes was fascinating. And Moose was great once he’d got to know him- they might have different approaches to writing fic, but he was kind, level-headed, and an amazing writer with some awesome ideas. Gabriel was writing more now than he had in months-
“Gabriel, are you even listening?” Cas’ deep voice interrupted his thoughts. Gabriel’s head jerked up to where he was standing in front of the throne.
“Hmm yeah. Uh. What?”
Castiel rolled his eyes. “You are distracted again, brother. At least pretend to pay attention.”
But it was no use, not when his new favourite commenter popped up in his notifications. Gabriel snatched a glance at his notes between appointments. Oooh, Moose was commenting on his WIPs.
Moose-of-Letters- Love the descriptions! Maybe put a short bridging scene between them meeting in the club and getting to the shibari, though? The transition feels a little abrupt.
Gabriel nodded to himself. Moose was right, it did need another scene in there before it got to the bondage part- he’d do that later. But working on his ever-growing library would have to wait. He turned his phone to silent, stowing it in a pocket. It was almost time for the weekly appointment he looked forward to and dreaded in equal measure; going to visit Sam.
.o0o.
Sam had spent most of the morning alternating between frantically researching or repeatedly checking his phone, trying to keep himself busy enough with making protective hex bags for the new hunters that he could stay calm and prepare himself for Gabriel's weekly visit. But he still didn’t feel either calm or prepared when the beating of wings filled the kitchen.
Gabriel appeared with a pop in front of him, tugging the collar of that leather jacket he favoured these days back into place. The archangel nodded at him, looking him up and down. “Sam.”
“Gabe.” Internally, Sam winced. Was ‘Gabe’ too informal? It felt too informal. Was it something he’d picked up from everything he’d been reading? He didn’t know any more! Fanfiction wasn't reality, he knew that damnit, but sometimes it just slipped out-
Gabriel, thankfully, didn’t seem to have noticed his internal struggle. He bounced on the balls of his feet, his arms swinging stiffly at his sides as he looked around the kitchen like he felt the awkwardness as keenly as Sam did.
The silence stretched out painfully. Sam had to say something. Anything.
“How are you?” he blurted, at the same time as Gabriel said, “So, wotcha been doing down here?” Sam snapped his mouth shut. Gabriel smirked, mischief twinkling in his eyes. “Ladies first.”
Normally, this would be where Sam would fire back something witty before they got down to business. But some fanart Sam had seen of Gabriel posing in an extremely short skirt and silky, lacy lingerie under it appeared behind his eyes like a goddamn real life pop-up. Sam cleared his throat, shaking it off.
They managed to get through most of Sam’s updates on the new hunters without him embarrassing himself, which Sam thought was a serious achievement. At some point they moved to sit at the kitchen table, Sam with his hands clasped in front of him. Gabriel was fiddling absentmindedly with one of the pieces of string Sam had been using to make the hex bags while Sam talked. “So yeah, we managed to get that demon nest cleared up before they could kill anyone else. I was worried we might have something more powerful on our hands, but it looks like it was just a very charismatic leader. I think he was running for candidacy for the king of hell.”
Gabriel nodded as he listened to Sam intently, twirling the string between his fingers, snapping it tight before letting it go slack again. “Good. As long as everyone downstairs is still distracted, we should be able to get established before they rally.” He glanced up. Was Sam imagining the way that tawny gaze softened when Gabriel looked at him? Was he searching for fondness that wasn’t there? He couldn’t tell any more.
Gabriel sat back with a dramatic sigh. “We’re nearly good to go up there, the souls and heavens are finally stable but I’m still trying to find another angel apart from Cassie with more personality than a banana skin…”
Sam found his attention trailing off, Gabriel’s hands holding his gaze, those clever fingers twisting and pulling at the string. A scene flashed past his eyes from Trickster’s latest fic that he’d read just that morning-
Gabriel gave one last tug on the ropes, pulling them tight. He looked down in satisfaction at the intricate series of loops holding his lover exactly where he wanted him- bent over the bed, legs slightly spread, back arched beautifully. An entire smorgasbord of skin, all laid out for him to enjoy.
Sam whined behind his gag. Gabriel could see him testing the knots, flexing his arms where they were tied behind his back, but he knew they would hold. Those tanned muscular thighs, gleaming with sweat, were straining against the ropes, but he was rocking against the silk sheets in a way that made it very clear he was still helplessly turned on.
Gabriel rested one hand against his back, stilling him. Slowly, he soothed the hand upwards, and Sam melted at the contact. Finally he relaxed into the ropes’ embrace. The sight of Sam so willingly submitting himself to Gabriel’s complete control fanned the hunger burning in his gut flare into a roar-
“Sam? Hey, gigantor! Anybody home?”
Sam jerked, his eyes flashing guiltily to Gabriel’s. Gabriel raised a questioning eyebrow. Sam, to his mortification, felt himself flush scarlet. Gabriel’s eyebrow nearly disappeared into his hair.
Damn it, Sam, get it together! “Just… uh…” Sam cleared his throat. “Just thinking about demons. Uuuh, about going back to look for any we missed. Just in case. And we’re going to hunt wha I’m pretty sure is a chupacabra later, so… yeah. That as well.”
“Okay,” Gabriel still looked dubious. “Aaanyway, I gotta be getting back. The cherubs get jittery without someone telling them what to do every second of every day. But I should be back same time next week. What day is it again?”
Sam felt a lead weight form in his gut. He had to know, didn’t he? But time ran differently in heaven.
“It’s… it’s a Tuesday.” He couldn’t help the way his voice stuttered on that last word. Even after all these years, Dean still had to change the station whenever Asia came on the radio.
Sam saw Gabriel’s eyes widen. He froze awkwardly, his usual confident smirk slipping. Sam had no doubt that they were both thinking of the same thing- the six months that Sam had spent trapped in that time loop. The silence thickened.
Gabriel opened his mouth as though he was going to say something, grimaced, and Sam waited, his breath catching for a drawn-out second. Were they finally going to talk about this?
Then Gabriel closed it again in a huff. Sam tried not to show his slump of disappointment.
“So, same time next week?”
“Yeah, see you-” there was a flurry of flapping and Gabriel disappeared, “-next week,” Sam sighed.
He rubbed his face tiredly with one hand. Well, that could have gone better. Time to drown his sorrows in fanfiction.
.o0o.
Gabriel was in too deep, and he knew it.
He scowled at his latest WIP. He’d retreated to his favourite spot in the Garden and pulled up the kinkmeme prompt as soon as he got back from his little trip earth-side in the hopes that it would drive any residual anxiety out of his brain. No luck there. This was supposed to be porn, dad-damn it! So why were they still talking? Why were they having a meaningful conversation instead of getting down and dirty? Where the hell had all these feelings come from?
He leaned back against the trunk of the nearest tree, staring out moodily across the sunlit clearing and the vast forest beyond. The problem, he grumped to himself, was what had happened that afternoon. He had put his foot in his mouth, again. Which wasn’t an unusual occurrence. There weren’t that many safe topics outside of work when it came to Sam.
And he had wanted to talk to Sam about Mystery Spot this time, he had! He wanted to move past this. He’d tried to get the words out. But as usual, he’d frozen, and his cowardice had won out. And then he’d run away. What the hell had he been thinking!?
Sam was his friend. Probably his last friend outside of heaven (well, apart from Moose). Sam had seen him at his lowest, cleaned him up and taken out those damn stitches, brought him back from being locked within his own mind, hell, even jumped in front of him to deflect Michael’s blade during that last desperate battle in the apocalypse world. Gabriel had hurt him and he wanted to fix it, but he just couldn’t get the words out.
A gentle breeze stirred around him. He took a deep breath of the sweet air, looking out into the once-busy emptiness of heaven.
Well, if he couldn’t apologise to Sam, at least fictional him could. Maybe it was time to take a leaf out of Moose’s book.
.o0o.
Sam bolted up the stairs, flinging himself into the nearest room and looking around wildly. Unfortunately it looked like it was a dead end- the window of the deserted shack was too small to squeeze through. Should he go and try another room?
But he was too late. The sound of the chupacabra they were hunting climbing it’s way up the stairs reached him. Shit! He’d have to hide.
Sam looked around, spotting a cupboard in the corner. He grimaced, climbing in. It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do. Silently, he pulled the doors shut behind himself.
The creature reached the top of the stairs. There was a muted clicking of claws on wood. The overloaded groan of a floorboard.
The chupacabra stopped. It sniffed the air. Through the tiny gap between the doors, Sam could see its forked tongue flickering out to taste the air, bulging eyes peering around the room. Sam held his breath and hoped that its hearing wasn’t sharp enough to pick up his heart thumping against his ribs.
It hitched in a breath, and sneezed violently. Sam flinched. His grip on his machete was so tight that he was sure his knuckles were turning white. It snorted, shaking itself with a rattle of spines.
With another grunt, it turned to leave. Sam dared to take the thinnest breath. His muscles relaxed just slightly.
PING!
The monster whirled. It’s lamplight eyes pinpointed the cupboard. Sam felt his phone vibrate in his pocket with the notification and had a moment to screw his eyes shut. Fuck! Why hadn’t he turned it off when they started!?
Luckily, at that moment, Dean’s war cry split the air. Sam leapt from the cupboard, machete already swinging. He could berate himself later. Right now, he had bigger fish to fry.
…
“Was the flamethrower really necessary?”
Dean looked back in satisfaction at the smoking remains of the shack. “The flamethrower is always necessary.”
Sam rolled his eyes, sliding into the front seat. He hoped he got soot on the upholstery.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he was relieved to see that it didn’t appear to have been damaged in the fight. The screen was still whole. He powered it on, and there it was, the notification that had nearly got him killed.
Archive Of Our Own
[AO3] Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets just posted a new work :)
Sam groaned. Fanfiction was literally going to be the death of him.
.o0o.
Moose-of-Letters commented: Hey, I like the new fic, it’s different from your usual. Sorry I didn’t comment earlier, I was a bit distracted.
Gabriel smiled as he opened his email. His new favourite commenter had picked up on it, because of course they had.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: Yeah, guess this fic is your influence ;)
It had stuck with him, that conversation with Sam. Or rather, the parts of it that hadn’t happened. He’d been thinking about it, really thinking about it, in the times between his heavenly appointments.
Re-reading the book featuring Mystery Spot from Sam’s point of view had been quite an eye-opener. He’d been so focused, the first time, on getting Sam to stop that he hadn’t truly realised what he was doing to him in his desperation. It had made him wonder- what would he do, if he could go back and change it all? Knowing what he did now, would he have been able to make a difference? He thought he might.
And if he were to talk to Sam about it now, what could he ever say to apologise to Sam for what he’d done to him?
A lot of that had made it onto the page. It was heavier than what he usually wrote, but somehow Gabriel felt lighter for it.
Moose-of-Letters: About the Mystery Spot, do you really think that Gabriel was doing any of that for Sam?
Gabriel sighed. He should have known that Moose would want to talk characterisation. What should he say?
Well, there was nothing stopping him from telling the truth.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: I think he was doing that all for Sam. Gabriel was just trying to prepare Sam for Dean’s inevitable death- he knew the apocalypse was about to go down, remember? He knew what was coming, and he was trying to avert it.
Gabriel bit his lip, his fingers pausing over the keyboard. Was he really gonna pour his heart out to random strangers on the internet? Really?
But now he started, he just couldn’t seem to stop his fingers. And anyway, Moose wasn’t really a stranger at this point.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: Gabriel couldn’t go to Sam directly because he’s got a soft spot for him. He likes him. He doesn’t like seeing humans get hurt who don’t deserve it, and the fact that his brothers are gonna cause so much destruction and he can’t do a thing to stop it is breaking his heart. That bit at the end where he gives in? He just couldn’t do it anymore, Sam out-stubborns him. He knows he wouldn’t be able to stand to see Sam hurting, and in the end? That’s why he failed. His love for humans is his weakness, the way he cares for Sam in particular.
There. It was out.
Gabriel pushed his laptop away, closing his eyes and resting his face in his hands. He needed a moment.
.o0o.
Sam sat back. Huh.
He honestly hadn’t expected Trickster’s first foray into more serious fics to be much good. Not because he couldn’t write- obviously he could, his work had been featuring heavily in Sam’s spank bank (as Dean would call it) for months now. Heavy-hitting just wasn’t his speciality, that was all.
But he had written it. And it was good.
It was emotional, and raw, and almost painfully in-character. Gabriel’s confession, his betrayal and his grief and anger and guilt were all so real that Sam wondered if Trickster had gone through something similar in his own life. He hadn’t been able to resist asking what Trickster thought Gabriel’s motivations were. He wished he could be as sure as Trickster was that Mystery Spot had been about Gabriel trying to save him. And he secretly doubted that Gabriel had given up his attempt because he cared for him. Not in real life.
But he could let himself live this fantasy for just a little longer, couldn’t he? He felt a pang in his heart that he was never going to have this conversation with Gabriel himself. This was probably as close as he was ever gonna get.
Slowly, Sam started typing.
Moose-of-Letters- Well, I think you’re right about Sam being stubborn. But it wasn’t Gabriel’s fault that Sam didn’t learn that lesson- I don’t think he ever would have. He was in too deep to ever realise what Gabriel was trying to say.
Sam hesitated, biting his lip. He started typing again.
Moose-of-Letters- I think they would both have been a lot happier if Gabriel had been able to get through to him. I wish it had gone like your fic in canon.
Angel_In_the_Streets_Trickster_In_the_Sheets: You and me both, Moose.
Sam smiled sadly. If only.
Moose-of-Letters- I’m not sure you’re right about Gabriel’s mercy being his weakness though. His love for humanity is what makes him different from his brothers. It’s what makes him human- it’s the thing that really drew me to his character in the first place. His love for humans might put him in the firing line, but I think it’s one of his greatest strengths as well. And I think his incredible empathy is one of the reasons why Sam would love him, as well as everything else they have in common. When it comes down to it, he’s ready to lay down everything for humanity too. They’re really kindred spirits.
Moose-of-Letters- Maybe if you’re trying angst I should give smut a go :P
And really, everything went downhill from there.
Part 2, coming soon!
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Featured Author Interview: Jordan Church
Tell us about yourself and your books.: I write erotica. Sharing the inner thoughts and emotions of characters is the ultimate voyeurism. I am a big believer in plot and character development. I want the characters to be as real as possible. Character motivations drive the events and sexual activities. Sex scenes are detailed and graphic. I want to always give a perfect picture of exactly what is happening and why and how and how the characters feel physically and emotionally. While I believe there is way too much shaming out there in the world when it comes to sex and things sexual I also think dirty acts and a sense of wicked naughtiness are wonderful in erotica. I have two degrees and am dedicated to providing the highest quality erotica. Do you have any unusual writing habits? I'm sure my massive intakes of caffeine are quite normal for an author.... Considering the genre I write in it may be considered unusual I often write (type) with people near me in various settings who have no clue what I'm up to on my laptop. When I edit a book I do three complete edits where I read every word. The unusual part is that I also do each one a little differently. In order to better spot errors, even small ones like an extra space between words, I change the font, font size, and type color with each edit. Edit 1 : Times New Roman, 12 point, black Edit 2: Bookman Old Style, 14 point, green Edit 3: Random grab bag font, 16 point, purple Even with that I still miss some errors! What authors have influenced you? The living legend JJ Argus and the other living legend, silkstockingslover. Her works, mostly short stories, can be found on literotica.com. And Stephen King! Do you have any advice for new authors? I'm pretty new myself so advice from me is presumptive at best. However, I can pass on advice I received (okay, some from me as well). That is to be patient. When you write and publish something no one knows unless they are psychic. No matter how good it is it may not get sales. For instance, "Moby Dick", the great classic, after the initial poor first year of sales, went on to sell an average of 27 books a year for 34 years. Once the author Herman Melville died it later became popular and "discovered". And Melville was a successful author BEFORE he published that book! Once someone finds one of your books you, as an author, need to make sure it make them, the reader, happy. The book is for the reader, not the author. That is the mission. Take the time to edit thoroughly, have someone else read it to make sure each little part makes sense to others. Make sure it is realistic even within the realm of the fantastic. Realism is more interesting than having readers say again and again, "That would NEVER happen." If your story loses credibility than you, the author, automatically do as well. Cream rises to the top but can also float up a bit faster if you communicate in all ways -- email responses, blog, web site, and, yes, promotion. What is the best advice you have ever heard? Patience. That so many authors write a book and expect the world to stop on a dime for it. Time and continued effort. Drive quantity while never giving up quality and, if you have to choose, take quality over quantity. What are you reading now? Two Stephen King books (Gunslinger IV and "Doctor Sleep", a Michael Connelly "Harry Bosch" novel, a couple fantasy novels (I recommend Marc Turner BTW), a few history books. I read five to ten books at the same time (same day not the exact same moment) and jump between them as the urge moves me. What's your biggest weakness? Candy. No, wait. caffeine! No, wait, it must be porn! Despite my genre (?) I am, like most people, a total sap for animals (Human Society volunteer) and children. What is your favorite book of all time? There are so many it is really hard to choose. That said, coming most quickly to mind: Mainstream: "The Stand" by Stephen King. Modern classic! Read the book, no movie can do it justice. Surprise maybe: "Japanese Destroyer Captain" by Tameichi Hara. It is just amazing what that man accomplished and lived through and the ending is like a Hollywood movie ending. Just amazing. What has inspired you and your writing style? As they always say, write about what you enjoy. It does make writing even more enjoyable! It is somewhat reverse inspiration because, really, I've read a lot of poor erotica. And erotica that sounds one way in the blurb and then goes in some other direction. And erotica with one good scene possibly but then the rest is mechanical or repetitive and goes no where. And a whole lot of characters that are just names and maybe titles or roles and nothing else -- no personality, no voice, sometimes not even a description! Obviously there are some excellent writers out there and I mentioned a couple already but, overall, there is a lot more bad than good. That inspired me to try to do it. You know, invent a better mouse trap and all that. I'd say my writing style is detailed with a balance of the external (events, action, dialogue) and the internal (emotions, sensations, motives). I think plot is important and conflict drives plot. The conflict in my books is typically a seducer wanting someone(s) who do not want to be seduced and there is the struggle for them to accomplish this, the seductee's struggle to resist, and the seductee's struggle to understand how this is happening to them, why it makes them feel this way, and the new reality it will bring about if they "lose". What are you working on now? Editing "Lesbian Stalker Stalks Again" which is Part IV of the "Lesbian Stalker's Pets" series and writing, nearly done, with "Lesbian Stalker On The Prowl" which is Part V. Also working on "Mother-In-Law's Gift Cards For Lesbian Seduction" which is a free ongoing book (actually it will be 3 or 4 books ultimately) on my web site (https://lesbianseductionfiction.com/) and a couple other projects as well. What is your method for promoting your work? In a sense, making sure the finished product is the best possible. If you stumble across one of my books and find the description intriguing and the genre acceptable then I make sure you will like the content, get exactly what you expect (or more!), and then want to get the other books available as well. I just published my 20th book. If you like one of them you will like (or more than like!) all the rest. What's next for you as a writer? Write write write. How well do you work under pressure? Fine because all the pressure on me is self-imposed and I have no time to argue with myself. I say do it and I hop to it. How do you decide what tone to use with a particular piece of writing? This is an interesting question. I'm not sure that I truly "decide". Each character has motives and intents. They have a plan for their lives or a plan regarding another character. Each character has a voice from age, background, lifestyle, origins, education, intelligence level, and so on. I get a clear picture or feeling for each character, what is driving them, their motives, and then they interact in my mind. Almost like an artificial world set up and left running to see the end results. The inhabitants of this world have no idea they are figments of imagination. They think all these crazy things are really happening and they have strong feelings about it! In addition to the plot and sex almost always at some point I involve humor and maybe an insight or two on society or human nature. This is just the characters being themselves. But I don't try to erase it or edit it out. It can be there and readers can either enjoy it or ignore it as they wish. The insights are brief and don't get in the way. The humor is short when it happens and if it leads to a laugh from a reader from time to time, it is all good. That said (that these are short) there is, admittedly, about a page of dialogue in "Lesbian Stalker Stalks Again", before the sex scenes and events get extremely outrageous and hot, that I find hilarious and hope readers will as well. Author Websites and Profiles Jordan Church Website Jordan Church Amazon Profile Jordan Church's Social Media Links Twitter Account Instagram Account Read the full article
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