#with an innate tendency to focus on the present

[bekkandaa]

thank you for your analysis of him!! it's very interesting. especially the part where you mentioned him being a romantic because he's objectively perceived as a cold, cruel, emotionally unavailable person (which he was) but he clearly found grandiose motivations and purposes to justify his crimes. how self-aware do you think he was? and if he was made aware of the outcome of his quest for power, would he do it nonetheless? realistically what would it take for him to have a moral crisis or question his values? was he aromantic and repulsed by human connection by nature or did he actively suppress whatever humanity was left...or maybe just try to be perceived as not needing it? sorry for asking so many questions. i could spend hours attempting to unravel tom's psyche.

thanks in advance

Hello Anon! Thank you for your questions. I want to address the first few in a different post, because I have a few different answers I want to discuss and don't want this post to run on forever. Is Tom Riddle Aromantic?

Before we delve into the intricacies of Tom Riddle's capacity for Romantic love, it is important for me to mention that we'll be disregarding the plot point of his inability to love due to his parents' love potion thing. Instead, our focus will be purely on his psyche and the effect that has on his ability to love. ( Because that's what this blog is for, and the whole love potion thing is silly in my humble opinion)

To address whether Riddle's beliefs and upbringing contribute to an aromantic disposition, I think we first have to consider his own capacity for romantic love. I'll be discussing his capacity for romantic love through the fact of his narcissism, a topic I've explored before here.

Riddle's psychology can largely be understood through the lens of pathological narcissism. While all humans present a public façade, for a pathological narcissist, the gap between this façade and their concealed self is particularly stark. Riddle's charm was a strategic tool to attract admirers who could feed his sense of self. This façade protects the false self from exposure, maintaining his grandiose self-image and fuelling his delusions.

Emotional intimacy is typically outside a narcissist's comfort zone as they are disconnected from their true feelings, driven instead by the need to uphold their grandiose persona. Narcissists often idealise their partners' admirable qualities, using them as a mirror for their own grandiosity. In this context, love becomes a means to an end—a way to support their self-image, making romantic love a form of supply for a narcissist.

Narcissists possess many qualities such as social confidence, likability, and charm, which are optimal for initiating relationships. However, these are coupled with traits like low empathy, a tendency to use others to maintain their false self-image, and overall self-centeredness, which are destructive to functional relationships. A narcissist's partner is usually objectified, unable to retain their own autonomy within the relationship. If the partner shatters the narcissist's illusion, they may become the target of contempt for disrupting the narcissist's grandiose perception they created of their partner. Essentially, the goal of such a relationship is the complete obliteration of the partner's autonomy.

Despite these challenges, it is important to recognise that narcissists can and do love, although their love sometimes differs from a healthy, unconditional relationship. Following this logic, Riddle is capable of romantic love, but it would most likely be an unhealthy relationship where his partner is more objectified than valued as a person.

Having established Riddle's capacity for love, we return to the question of his potential aromanticism. Possible reasons include:

Repulsion by human connection by nature Active suppression of any remaining humanity Intentional portrayal of himself as above human needs

While I do not believe Riddle was innately repulsed by human connection from birth, he likely developed this repulsion through his upbringing. His identity and beliefs were deeply intertwined with his blood status. Discovering his ancestry to Salazar Slytherin inflated his ego and sense of self, fuelling his delusions about an "idealised parent image." However, learning about his Muggle father shattered these notions, inducing an identity crisis and internal conflict. This conflict manifested in his actions, such as punishing his father and changing his name.

Rejection by the family he sought further shattered his grandiose self-image, deepening his mental breakdown. This rejection likely made him feel repulsed by the human connection he sought, leading him to view himself as above such needs. Despite his heritage being a construct to fuel his false-self, the search for a parent and creation of an "idealised parent image" is common among children lacking parental figures. This behaviour signifies Riddle's inherent humanity and need for connection, which he suppressed following the shattering of his idealised image.

According to Freud, human behaviour is more influenced by the unconscious mind rather than the conscious one. The unconscious mind, filled with painful memories, tries to protect the conscious mind by hiding them, influences attitudes, behaviours, and character. For Riddle, the painful memories of his corrupted heritage resurfaced, despite his unconscious mind's attempts to hide them. He then attempted to eradicate his past self, exemplified by his transformation into Lord Voldemort and his agenda concerning blood status.

This brings us to the final point: in eradicating his past, Riddle attempted to portray himself as devoid of human needs through his new persona, Lord Voldemort. ( in all honesty he done the opposite by doing that, just really announced his fear of his own humanity and his disgust of it.)

These points, stemming from his past, suggest that Riddle is most likely aromantic. While he is capable of love, albeit in an unhealthy way, he sees himself above the need for it and suppresses any potential need under the guise of repulsion due to the rejection he faced. TLDR : Tom Riddle is in fact Aromantic, and that was more or less caused by him getting his feelings hurt and choosing to suppress / act like he does not need humanity at all. Just going back to Anon at the beginning talking about how Riddle was a romantic, (which he was, it's a universal fact at this point) I do think it's hilarious how he chose the most 'teenage girl' items for his horcruxes. Diary boy really wanted to go all out and I can respect it.

[apas-95]

I think that the concept of immediacy is one that's pivotal to modern political analysis, but which is sorely missing in many discussions.

The most obvious example is in our existential threat - climate change. To a simple, omniscient material analysis, capitalism would be appearing to act incoherently here. The capitalist system is the expression of the political will of the capitalist class, the bourgeoisie. This class acts towards its own interests, to maintaining its own power and improving its standards of life. To this end it does many things that impoverish and oppress *other* classes - it creates masses of unemployed and unhoused people and forces violence on them, to maintain a reserve army of labour; it carries out violent redistribution of territory between its various states, wars fought with the blood of the lower classes, to restore the rate of profit; it impoverishes entire nations, repressing them politically and economically, to create favourable markets to export its capital to and import labour-power from - but climate change threatens to destroy the capitalist class as a whole, alongside everyone else. Plainly, it is not in their material interest to poison the air they breathe and the food they eat.

Why stop there, however? There are a number of other things that threaten the common ruin of the contending classes - but even so, if we focus only on the ruin of the *ruling* class, there's only one threat we need bother focusing on. Travel back to the establishment of the bourgeois republic, to the revolutionaries fighting feudal monarchy - is this in their interests? By the standard we've just established: no! Inexorably, plainly, as the capitalist class just overthrew the aristocracy, so too will the bourgeoisie themselves be overthrown by the working class. In the long term, they're simply dooming their own class to its inevitable destruction. Yet, they carry out their revolution anyway, for reasons that are quite obvious - it's not their problem right now. The eventual overthrow of their class is effectively immaterial to them, compared to the immediate benefits of revolution. In the same way, on a halfway-smaller timescale, the current capitalist class has more immediate problems to face than climate change. The long-term doesn't matter anyway if you don't survive the short-term.

This is, of course, not only applicable to climate change. Having established this premise, an important focus is the imperial core, and third-worldism. Does the working class of the imperial core benefit from anti-imperialism? Well, yes, and no! In the long-term, it's plainly evident that the proletariat of the imperialist nations would be better off under socialism. However, it's also clear that they presently *do* receive benefit, compared to the proletariat of other nations, due to imperialism. The *immediate* effect of anti-imperialist political organisation and action in the imperial core would be a worsening of their conditions, while the long-term, ultimate effect would remain a massive improvement in their conditions. In the final analysis, socialist revolution is in the interest of *all* workers - however, for some workers, it's very much not in their *immediate* interests. Understanding this, without a need for claims of ideological corruption or some innate counter-revolutionary tendency, shows clearly *why* certain sections of the working class oppose global socialism *and the circumstances that would bring about their support*.

[talonabraxas]

A Color Diagram (From book, "The Anatomy of the Body of God")

1. Recognize the source, and intuit into the unity of all existence. The idea that we can win at the expense of them is, in the long term, illusory. We're all in this together. Ecology. An expanded sense of identity. Also, this source points to the great mystery of creation, and what lies beyond our knowledge.

2. Celebrate creativity. It's a mythically grounded idea. There's a tradition in many religions to imitate God, however the Divine is imagined: The most useful way to do this in our own time is to recognize the prolific process of creativity–not just through the "Big Bang," but in the present moment, through the imaginations and inspirations–literally, in- spirit- ations – of all sentient beings.

Corollary: Question authority. Accept nothing as the final solution. Dare to re-evaluate, revise, re-negotiate, imagine new possibilities. Obedience, in this view of the meaning of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life, is no longer operative–there's a move from the medieval tone of unquestioning acceptance to the modern and postmodern worldview that supports responsibility, an alert consideration of the needs of the moment in light of continuing developments, discoveries, new technologies, etc.

3. Recognize the Other-ness of people, their differences, of the environment, and of the Divine. On one hand, we may be expressions of the Divine flow, and at some level, as claimed by Yogis and other mystics, "one" with It, yet that doesn't mean that the world is there for the gratification of your ego-narcissistic desires. Respect, reverence, humility, and a valuing of the needs of others and the whole all are implied here.

4. Cultivate Generosity and Purpose. The life force is innately generous, but in states of fear, can contract to mere life-sustenance. In today's complex culture, there are tendencies towards stinginess of spirit, and this must be balanced, in wisdom, by the joy and need for an extra bit of giving of oneself to the world. Seek to clarify your talents and abilities and turn them toward this task, at least to some significant degree, lest you die having lived selfishly, pettily.

5. Realize Limitations. Much of human life is a process of dis-illusionment, which is a process of dissolving childish feelings of omnipotence. This need not be tragic. Much of it is simply adjusting to the realities of physical and social constraints, learning to think and work politically, seeking a more refined and less impetuous mode of action in the world. It's a one-step-down form of humility, more practically applied.

Realize, also, that as shown in the diagram of the Tree, the lessons play off of each other, and especially there is the ongoing play of 2 and 3, 4 and 5, and 7 and 8, while 6 is to some degree, the player, the juggler, the dancer.

6. Exercise Balance, seek to harmonize the many different needs, desires, inspirations, ideals, and other complexes that seek expression through your own mixture of temperament and interests. One of the beauties of our time-bound lives is that we can choose how to diversify, focus, take turns, and thus have some existential responsibility for how we live our lives.

7. Identify your passions, what the comparative mythologist Joseph Campbell called, "following your bliss." What tickles your fancy? Instead of pursuing what is merely fashionable, liking or disliking largely to garner approval or to be included in the "in group"–which is an in-authentic reason–, get in touch with what more genuinely interests or appeals to you. This can take many years, even into late adulthood. Often you'll find it correlates with what you have at least some moderate ability to do. Have the courage to pursue it. (And this can be tremendously varied in the world, different folks liking different strokes.)

8. Recognize and work within the cultural matrix you live in. If not, then either be a smart revolutionary–to change or expand it–or pay the price of changing cultures, emigrating, and becoming acculturated into a different culture. Lots of people do this, too. The point is to deal responsibly with the social context you find yourself in, rather than simply sulking, withdrawing, giving up, mindlessly conforming, or numbing yourself.

9. Cultivate Imagination, in many ways–the arts, drama, mythmaking. Note that much of ordinary education and life neglects, distracts, and sometimes actively suppresses this human potential. Refuse to be tempted by vicarious imaginary experiences offered by the media, in video games, television, movies, etc. Take responsibility to use those elements like small stimuli, like appetizers or dessert, but not your main meal. Become a person who imagines your own life!

10. Manifest your life. Avoid the temptations to become preoccupied with the seductions of spectatorship, or living in "what if" (either in past or future). Deeds, projects, action. The world is no illusion. You have an opportunity for authentic enjoyment, for adding your own creativity to helping the world be a better place. In can be in as small a way as an act of kindness or generosity.

Lest these points seem like mere platitudes, rather obvious, consider that many if not most people do not live these principles out in their lives. Nor are these ten points the only lessons you can gather from studying the tree. They just show what can come to mind–that the principles noted are by no means mere abstractions.

Another way to view the tree is in terms of how it can reassure and remind you: That you are part of a great, unified "becoming" of the cosmos (1); that this is a creative process and your life creativity is an integral part of the great becoming (2); that the cosmos is here, a matrix (related to the Latin word root for mother) for you, a setting, playground, stage, for you (3); that you can choose a direction, many directions, in fact, and your choices add to your story–and indeed, you may be assured that your life is a story (4); part of that story involves the way you've coped with limitations–your body's structure, illnesses, dis-abilities, areas of no-talent, the weakness and deficiencies of your family, region, and historical era, and the many other obstacles that life presents–and indeed, that which makes your story a good piece of drama! (5); the creative way you've balanced your strengths and weaknesses, opportunities and limitations, etc.(6); the many lines of interest and ability, the archetypes, the mythic resonances with the spirit of (whatever dimension you channel)–all set you into stage in which you play many parts in a unique fashion (7); the cultural forms all this enactment takes, and how you are a carrier of certain cultural values, and a challenge to others that you don't agree with–these, too, make your life good theatre and also part of the great unfolding myth of that culture!(8); the richness of your imagination as you assemble these many threads into a meaningful story, embellishing it also with all the other what-if-dramas you can fantasize, thickening your existence (9); and, finally, how you actually play out your unique life, your actual achievements, your deeds. You might be surprised how far many of your actions have reached (10).

The point of this rhapsody is to enjoy the depth of your mythic embeddedness in the Divine Process of Unfolding. This is the way God works, through your individuality (and everyone else's, also, of course)! Envision it as an infinite symphony, improvised, incredibly rich, which, if perceived from enough distance and time, expresses amazing harmonies (in spite of a surprising amount of what in the moment may seem like mere noise, or as Shakespeare called it, "sound and fury." On a micro-scale, it may "signify nothing," but in the big picture, this is how we all grow, evolve as a species, groping, going up blind alleys, turning back, trying another way.

[impossiblesuitcase]

I know most of the fandom agrees that Kai has bad anxiety, but I’m curious about your opinion on whether he has just had it from things that happened during and after the revolution/book series or do you think he grew up with anxiety? And if so how did he cope with it himself/how did his parents and torin help him? Just wanted an answer from Marissa herself😜

As Marissa, I decree that Kai has both environmental and innate anxiety. Losing his mother at a young age plus the hefty knowledge that he would become the emperor would trigger that anxiety to appear as a child.

Kai was likely already put into counselling after the death so he could grow up without grief distorting that experience. So as his anxiety ramps up in later years with school and princely duties, he has that outlet to aid him. However, with his self-sabotaging tendencies--not eating or sleeping when stressed--I believe he would seek counselling when things are okay, but then forgo it when's he actually struggling. He has that self-reliant attitude that he has to overcome.

His father would have helped him, as he is described as a vibrant, lively and present parent. Torin however would not have been as helpful at that stage.

We often focus on Kai's relationship arc being with Cinder, neglecting that almost as big is his relationship arc with Torin. In the first books, Torin is stern, pragmatic and clearly of the belief that Kai doesn't know what he's doing. But in Cress he begins to trust Kai's judgement by supporting his Kai's decision to trust Cinder (telling her about the second ID chip). Then by Winter, he fully supports Kai.

Tangent aside, having that support as an adult would be a great help and encourage him to seek that counselling when he does need it.

[futurefind]

//I DID THE THING FINALLY!! 😭😭😭The years on first one indicate when they first inspired me/influenced how I wrote/saw Sa!! Hence them being absent on the latter

Elaborations/details below the cut!!!

Element Valkyrie: (Kit) Literally how/why Sa has her main gimmick of fire + water/ice lmao!! In fact I think fire was her original main...? Ice became a focus post-atla (all of like... a year later lmfao)

Link (Twilight Princess): (Aesth) What can I say I really loved TPs, well, 'edgier' aesth (my second zelda after all of wind waker). Also, probably the first wolf association...? Less consciously, perhaps the first taste of cryptid drifter that goes around solving problems? (Kit) Why Sasume has a sword!! And why it's at her back/shoulder!! Also, sort of, ass kicking with said sword, but as a video game YMMV lmao. (Chara) The silent protag stuff could not hurt? Esp w the contrast with being good w kids, implicitly (Heart) WHAT CAN I SAY I'VE SAID IT BEFORE Sa is very much HeroTM, in broader loz/link sense, at heart. Saving and helping people is her priority!! Even when it's hard!!

Naruto: (Kit) Tbh... the source of Shinrei's aesthetic effects wrt eyes, teeth, claws, etc? (Bg/Lore) Samehat with her bg. With an emphasis on samehat, as the two were connected 1:1 in those early days. But unlike canon Naruto even baby Nori went 'reality ensues' 'edgier' variant where shit is traumatizing as fuck. (Heart) As I've also Also stated elsewhere... she's very much a shonen protagonist at heart??? A Knight in Sour Armor but a Knight all the same

Sasuke: (Aesth) Do I even need to say it...? The grumpy/angsty edgelord Lancer surface level absolutely came from here, lmao. Not as conscious as Naruto (iirc, I gave her blue hair bc my brown marker ran out when doing that design? lmfao) but definitely couldn't hurt. (Bg/Lore) Probably colored/inspired taking the aforementioned 'reality ensues' traumatic framing for Sa's bg. And a bunch of other plot-y stuff that's sliding scale of preserved to scraped entirely (ie being Nth distant relative survivors to the Uchiha clan lmfao). (Chara) What can I say... aren't we all familiar w the broadstrokes atp?? Loner angsting edgelord who's just afraid of letting people in... A staple of the archetype, and undoubtedly helped staple that archetype onto Sa. (Other) Far more nebulous, but did inspire a general 'special heritage/family line' power stuff. Though what said family line stuff was wouldn't be figured out 'til further down the line.

Kanda: (Aesth) For a hot second I literally intentionally looked to Kanda for aesth inspiration for Sa lmao... in my NLOG phase I even did an inverse of him being confused for a woman by having Sa be more Bifauxnen bc 'feminine = weak' lol (gag). Also, while from DGM's uniform as a whole rather than Kanda specifically, codified Sa's token look of skintight slevelees turtleneck + fingerless gloves— as well as remove previous aspects of color from her wardrobe. (Kit) Again, a side effect of DGM as a whole rather than Kanda specifically, but this is why Shinrei's kit isn't just so thought out but so specifically staggered (the 'Levels/Stages' aspects present across many Innocence). As a direct inspo, though, Mugen fucking with his pupils/eye is what I used to preserve Sa's emotive angy vfx (and what made it, and her entire kit, 1:1 with her sword rather than being innate). (Chara) Do I need to elaborate...? Lol. He also fits into the archetype of Sasuke that Sa was already in, so nothing too big, particularly as DGM made me develop Sa so much more and breakaway from copypasting him. However, he's liably the source of her more overt tsundere tendencies, as well as her aversion to using people's names (also for tsun reasons). Also probably why Sa's surface level is outright Jerkass and not just ominous stoic dude deal lmao.

Dean Winchester (s1-5): (Aesth) Gets some lite points for styling themselves against/for a parent, jerkass with a reckless heart of gold, and bravado/masculinity that oft loops back around to disingenuous/insecure. (Bg/Lore) What can I say? The idolization of a lost mother, comparing oneself against a parent (derogatory), the deadbeat dad (who's like the younger sibling), and the parentification and resulting over-protection and -devotedness toward their younger sibling/'child'. However, not much direct inspo here, especially since one of his hallmarks is his dysfunctional jackassery toward his sibling and one of Sa's is that her jackass exterior breaks away for hers. (Chara) While I remember Sasume's snark being unintentional irp, passive Deanfluence def couldn't hurt to cement the snark, lmfao. (Heart/Other) Lumping these two together bc man!! Man!!! What if you were forced into a life of violence and endangerment and self loathing and you 'reclaimed' it by putting how much you hate it and life and yourself into something meaningful, heroic. What if you were meant for greatness and it destroyed you. What if you wanted nothing more than a life of domesticity as a partner and parent and thought your only way to get there was through dreams and death. What if the only way you can get through the day is by chasing thrills and throwing yourself into risk after risk for others and half-hoping it kills you.

GRAVEYARD/REVERSE INSPO BOOGALOOS!!

As these are blorbos you can use to 'find Sasume in' instead of vice versa, these'll hopefully be more brief...? Things to make you point at and go 'omg just like Sa :)', rather than unpacking the building blocks of inspiration that helped codify her into how she is.

Geralt: (Aesth) The wandering enigmatic monster hunter with an extremely dangerous rep but with more heart/morals than you'd think... yk? Bonus spn gold eye points. (Kit) Nothing overt, but general hyper-competence wrt combat. (Bg) Witchers' sliding scale of dubious rep, yk? As well as his Butcher legacy. (Chara) As stated, gruff bastards with a caring heart that's variably concealed, depending on the moment. Notably (vs some prev examples), very okay with killing human monsters, even if it's not ideal.

Alucard: (Aesth) Pwincesses The supernatural & enigmatic auras that are both intimidating and inspiring reliance/protection yk? (Kit) Again general combat competence, but also healing factor and resulting being a gd tank, relatively. (Heart) Hearts of gold!! More overt since he's not a tsun though lol

Mizu: (Aesth) Edgelord wandering blue eyed 'samurai', lol. (Kit) Violence hypercompetence, pragmatism, and being a disturbing levels of tanking severe wounds. (Bg) What can I say Mizu's entire traumatic backstory and hardening into who she is is because of being othered and seen as nonhuman (if due to racism, vs Sa's). Plus some spoilery stuff I'm not gonna say bc oh my god guys go watch BES :') Esp if you like Sa. (Chara) The terrifying determinism, raw brutality/pragmatism, being stubborn idiots who need to be forced into accepting help... but also going to extreme lengths once the loner walls are breached. Also, the sass and taunting and blood knight aspects??? Peak Sa. Chef kiss. (Other) Holy fucking SHIT the insecurities? And self perception?? Seeing oneself as monstrous and inhuman and that inhumanity linked with an 'inability/failures of' being a woman yk......... augh,

Ed: (Kit) Having fun with 'bending' elements in utilitarian ways. (Bg) Orphaned big siblings whose main priority is saving/helping baby sib yk... Also, in retrospect, the hypercompetence being developed for the sake of said sib. (Heart) Again!! Shonen protagonist at her core!! Though ofc focusing more on the unironic softness, as well as her 'aspiring' for pacifism and hating having to kill but having no qualms doing so when necessary.

Rengoku: (Kit) Badass swordsmen with fire related aesth? Badass swordsmen. (Bg) While far more... mundane in the tragedies of his upbringing, the overlap in the themes and impact of their traumas are :') very much similar :'))) (Heart) Shonen protags but also mentors!! Staring very loudly at and ignoring even harder how as a kid my intent for Sa's story would be to kill her off. Tbf she's a very solid candidate for the Obi-Wan type 'crutch' characters whose death symbolisms an emblematic turning point...........

Vash: (Kit) Again: See: Hypercompetence in combat, now with more overt inhuman uncanniness!! (Bg) While far more fantastical and sort of... spread out? Impersonal? Than Sa's, it's impact and his view on it are very Sacore!! (Heart) SHONEN PROTAG OF ALL TIME??? And also see: aspirations of pacifism and how, just like Vash is able to be so extremely pacifistic because he's nonhuman levels of sturdy... Sasume cannot be because she's still very much human, and so can only take so much before she's forced to retaliate :') (And also being long past the point of breaking pacifism for sake of necessity/saving others... and p much Only breaking it to protect others... yk.......)

[enchantingpainterunknown]

ZEROBASEONE 🥀

Family To Be

"Breathe Binna" I hear our eldest say firmly causing me to take a deep breath. My breath hitches on my second attempt...

Pairing:  Hanbin & zb1.

Plot:  Hanbin is scared of loud noises.

________________________________________

Hanbin's POV

I've always been scared of loud noises. People think it's an inborn phobia but not all phobias are innate.

Back in primary school I used to have a babysitter that was hired due to the fact that my family's financial condition wasn't the best. So both of my parents had to work. The nanny was nice of sorts but she had the tendency to shout and throw whatever was in her hand at me, whenever I would ask her something.

I wanted to tell my parents but the nanny had said that, I would only be burdening them if I complained and that no-one would want to listen to my stupid problems. Looking back I realise that those words were just used to manipulate me, to not complain about her to my parents. But let's just say that despite knowing this, I still never said anything.

Which has led to my current problem. Now, I can handle the fans screaming and shouting, since I can clearly hear them shout my name in love and giving me compliments but what I can't handle is jump scares and loud banging sounds. The fireworks surrounding the stadium are deafening and are keeping me on the edge.

Anyway back to the present, me and my new members have been told to meet our new manager in the office, back stage. We silently walk through the corridor, with an occasional sniffle from Gyuvin and Gunwook breaking the silence. The heartbreaking seperation from the other planet boys has taken a toll on everyone even if they are happy to debut. Both the boys are being comforted by their two oldest when he sees Hao hyung signal him to take care of Gunwook before moving to Ricky's side.

"Hi Gunwook-ah" I say adoringly to the younger, putting my arm around his shoulder. His puffy face and pouting lips remind me of a baby duck. The big bear rests his head on my shoulder when we reach the office door and I play with his hair until we get called inside the office. We meet our manager but the upper management stops Jiwoong hyung and me to talk while the others are directed to go to the basement parking. She informs us that we would be the temporary leaders until further notice. And we get ready to head out the door but Jiwoong hyung is called back so I wait outside in the corridor, the fireworks still going out loud. My anxiety slowly rises, without any of my friends beside me it's hard to feel distracted.

"Hanbin-ah" Jiwoong hyung's voice pulls me back from my thoughts. I look at him and give him my best whisker smile, but it's seems like I probably didn't do a good job. Hyung looks at me in concern, "Is something wrong?" He asks taking a hold of my hand. I get ready to reply that,  I'm okay but jump at the sudden bang of the firecracker -which is louder than before-  squeezing jiwoong hyung's hand in surprise and shutting my eyes tight.

"Breathe Binna" I hear our eldest say firmly causing me to take a deep breath. My breath hitches on my second attempt but before I can even blink Jiwoong hyung's hand is on his nape immediately, grounding me. "It's okay, you're safe" He says softly. I focus on the texture of his hand, my breathing and the small shushing sounds my hyung let's out occasionally. I slowly open my eyes to see his sweet smile. After feeling a bit calm we head down to the basement.

"Hyung!" I hear the kids shout as soon as we come in sight. Matthew latches onto my arm looking up at me worriedly already knowing the reason. I give him a reassuring smile and pat his soft hair, making him beam up at me. We all get in the car, which is more like a mini van with 6 seats at the back facing each other. 3 in the front with a driver and a side seat. The youngsters sit at the back while Hao hyung, Jiwoong hyung and I sit at the front.

As soon as we are out of the basement I flinch, getting caught completely off guard by the screams and cameras flashlights. My 2 hyungs look at me worriedly. In my panic I fail to realise that I am trembling like a leaf but I get pulled in a warm embrace by Hao hyung, his hand circling my waist. He's not holding too tight, just enough to reassure me, giving me room to breathe. I feel Jiwoong hyung's hand softly rub my back and Matthew put his hands over my ears. "Breathe“ I hear our elder's voice and his deep timber reminds me that I'm safe.

After the crowd and venue are left behind I find myself facing 8 concerned eyes looking in my direction, "I'm fine" I say softly. "You don't have to be" Hao hyung says frowning. "Do you not like fireworks hyung?" I hear our makane ask hesitatingly. "Yeah just don't like sudden loud noise in general" I reply insecurely, looking down at my lap. I don't like being weak in front of anyone and my hands are still trembling from the fright and nervousness.

However when I look up I see understanding settling  on everyone's face and I find not an ounce of pity or disappointment in their eyes and it settles my heart. Gyuvin takes out a pair of headphones and offers them to me. I tell him I'm okay since it is quiet now. "It'll help you relax better hyung" he says trying to convince me. I try to deny it again but looking at his cute pout I smile at him before nodding my head.

Taerae takes the headphones that are now connected to Gyuvin's phone, and fixes them on my ears. All while smiling his dimpled smile made me automatically return it back. "Take a nap hyung" Ricky says quietly, eyes kind. I find myself agreeing and settling down into our centre's side. His hand starts to softly run through my hair. The motion lulling me to sleep.

Soft music is playing in my ear and the remaining noise is filled by new members chatter. It strikes me at this moment that I don't have to be perfect, that they don't expect me to be either and it is the last thought I have before I drift off to sleep. In the safety net of my family to be.

________________________________________

I kept thinking about hanbin's reaction in one of the episodes of bp where haruto comes to scare the boys and hanbin cowers and covers his ears. It made me want to protect him so much.

M~

[harderrain-sweetersun]

Blog Post #3: On Brother From Another Planet

Community is a theme in a variety of Afrofuturist works, and for good reason. From Parable of the Sower to Brother From Another Planet, the notion of community serves to be a driving factor in many key aspects of Afrofuturism. In John Sayles’ Brother From Another Planet, the alien being from another planet must rely on his surroundings to keep him safe. He spends the film being pursued by two agents/ slave dealers who come from his home planet. Eventually, the community steps in to save the “brother” from those who are trying to capture him. Even without speaking, the alien finds a place in Harlem. Though he had inhuman abilities and features (like his three toes), the sense of friendship he found with the men at the bar and the love that can be seen to develop with the woman singing at the club (Malverne) both represent his distinctly human connections with those around him. This sense of community can be found in a variety of Afrofuturist works, such as through the community that Olamina built with Earthseed in Parable or the community of workers and Equisapiens fighting together in Sorry to Bother You. The community depicted in Brother From Another Planet had its flaws, but when the time came, they fought to protect the “brother” who needed help. Because the alien does not speak throughout the film, his interactions with the community are dictated by others’ perception of him. One especially interesting aspect is that no one in the community seems to care that the brother has the power to manipulate/fix technology with his hands, so long as this power is used to their benefit. The alien’s lack of speech leads us to focus on how the humans in Harlem view him, both as an outsider with otherworldly traits and as a Black-presententing character. Throughout the film, characters interacting with the brother tend to drone on about themselves, at times unknowing if the “brother” can even understand what they are saying. I thought that this was especially notable—half the time, in modern conversations, it feels as though everyone is waiting for an opportunity to talk about themselves. Those interacting with the brother were able to ramble about themselves even though the brother was literally incapable of responding, speaking to the narcissism innate in human nature. This, in congruence with the community’s apathetic reaction to the brother’s ability to fix technology without even touching it, further speaks to human tendency to view others in terms of what they can do for us. This is another theme that is brought up consistently in Afrofuturist work. For instance, in Space Traders, the corporate elite worried about losing the Black population solely because of the potential loss of the economic and political purposes that Black communities serve. In Rusties, the traffic robots were created with the purpose of solving issues that humans no longer wanted to deal with. Although Brother From Another Planet focuses less on the exploitation of marginalized communities, I thought that the way that the people in Harlem interacted with the brother was definitely notable.

[shyuch]

A lot of similarities, a lot of differences.

My Thoughts:

Isn’t the whole society, in a way, counterintuitive?

If the sole purpose of this specific society is just to keep karma demons and fiends nonexistent, then what happens to everything else that needs to be accomplished? What if some other issues must be solved? To put it into context, it feels as if this society is a country who established a military for the sake of protecting the military from the military. Do you see what I mean? It’s almost like circular reasoning. And furthermore, it is heavily implied that fiends and karma demons are inevitable beings. Yes, you can do the most of preventing the “activation” of their tendencies by taking them away at a young age. But if this society fails at that, then what does it even matter? If you cannot fulfill the sole purpose you were designed to perform, don’t things begin to seem nihilistic? As if nothing matters? Perhaps a reevaluation of objectives?

Psycho-pass against Shinsekai Yori:

Personality Index, crime coefficient? Hmm…

All jokes aside, I feel as if both societies have different ways of “keeping the peace” so to say. With this, it feels as if the surveillance was toned down, and a spirit of “sensual” love was encouraged, a lot of which is more positive “sounding” than in Psycho-pass. However, I would argue that there are some aspects which go further beyond a surveillance state. For example, the death feedback, I would argue that this is a Panopticon except the watch tower is gone. You are the watch tower. The human genome physically prevents you from causing any harm to other people. Which, I’m not sure what you think, but is a lot more invasive sounding than in Psycho-pass.

The utilitarian aspects are still there; everybody must follow in adherence to society in both anime. I would say though that Psycho-pass is a much more balanced society than Shinsekai Yori’s. At least in Psycho-pass there were many different occupations, things for people to do. However, in this society it seems that nobody can really choose to do anything other than prevent karma demons and fiends.

Food for Thought:

I feel as though all of the anime we’ve watched so far are about a criticism of the modern age. I do agree there are a lot of things wrong with it (hedonism, things like that), but is it justified to keep suggesting a return to the old as a solution for our problems? The conservative stance on this subject is that history always repeats itself, which I do agree in some magnitude, especially in things innate such as human nature? But why aren’t things such as technology accounted for in analyses like this? Physical means in which society had undoubtedly progressed upon, which could solve present issues instead of suggesting a return to the past.

It’s also interesting how they use karma demons and fiends as a foil to mental-illnesses present within our society. Karma demons, I believe, symbolize depression, and fiends are on the sociopathic/psychopathic end of things. Which brings me on to another point: if you spend the maximum time trying to contain something that’s scientifically always going to be present within a population, that’s like chasing an idea which will never blossom into fruition. In addition, it defeats the whole utilitarian/utopian concept of the society because it makes things so much more inefficient to focus on an extremely difficult subject instead of addressing the actual issues that arise into these symptoms.

Overall, the plot is a bit hard to follow, but it definitely sparks more thoughts to discuss upon.

[devoqdesign]

The Science of UI/UX: How Psychology Influences Design

In the ever-evolving world of technology, user experience (UX) and user interface (UI) design have become pivotal components of creating successful digital products. These disciplines go beyond mere aesthetics; they delve into the intricate realm of human psychology, aiming to craft experiences that resonate with users on a profound level. By understanding the psychological principles that shape our interactions with digital interfaces, designers can create intuitive, engaging, and memorable experiences.

The Principles of Cognitive Psychology in UI/UX Design:

1. Gestalt Principles:

Gestalt psychology explores how our minds perceive and organize visual elements. Principles like proximity, similarity, continuity, and closure influence how users interpret and interact with user interfaces. By leveraging these principles, designers can create interfaces that are visually cohesive and easy to navigate, reducing cognitive load and enhancing usability.

2. Cognitive Load Theory:

Our working memory has a limited capacity for processing information simultaneously. Cognitive Load Theory suggests that designers should minimize extraneous cognitive load by presenting information in a clear and organized manner. This can be achieved through thoughtful layout, chunking of information, and minimizing distractions, allowing users to focus on the core tasks at hand.

3. Hick's Law:

Hick's Law states that the more choices a user has, the longer it takes them to make a decision. This principle is particularly relevant in menu design, where too many options can overwhelm users and hinder decision-making. By presenting a reasonable number of choices and organizing them effectively, designers can streamline user interactions and reduce cognitive strain.

The Role of Emotion in UI/UX Design:

While cognitive psychology plays a crucial role in UI/UX design, the emotional aspect cannot be overlooked. Our emotions significantly influence our perceptions, decisions, and overall experience with digital products.

1. Emotional Design:

Don Norman's concept of emotional design emphasizes the importance of evoking positive emotional responses from users. By incorporating elements that elicit joy, delight, or satisfaction, designers can create products that transcend mere functionality and foster emotional connections with their users.

2. Color Psychology:

Colors evoke specific emotional responses and associations within us. Warm colors like red and orange tend to be energizing and attention-grabbing, while cool colors like blue and green can be calming and refreshing. By leveraging color psychology, designers can influence user moods, draw attention to specific elements, and create visual hierarchies that resonate with users emotionally.

3. Anthropomorphism:

The tendency to attribute human-like qualities to non-human entities is known as anthropomorphism. By incorporating anthropomorphic elements, such as friendly avatars or conversational interfaces, designers can create a sense of familiarity and establish emotional connections with users, enhancing engagement and fostering trust.

Persuasive Design and Behavioral Psychology:

UI/UX design often aims to influence user behavior, whether it's encouraging them to take specific actions, adopt new habits, or make desired choices. Behavioral psychology provides valuable insights into how to achieve these goals effectively.

1. Nudge Theory:

Nudge Theory suggests that subtle cues or "nudges" can influence user behavior without restricting their freedom of choice. By presenting default options, framing information strategically, or using social proof, designers can nudge users towards desired actions while still allowing them autonomy.

2. Gamification:

Incorporating game mechanics, such as points, badges, leaderboards, and progress bars, can tap into our innate desire for achievement, competition, and recognition. Gamification techniques can motivate users, enhance engagement, and foster long-term commitment to digital products or services.

3. Habitual Design:

Our behavior is heavily influenced by habits, which are deeply ingrained routines that require minimal conscious effort. By understanding the principles of habit formation, designers can create interfaces that seamlessly integrate into users' daily routines, facilitating the development of positive habits and long-term user retention.

Conclusion:

The science of UI/UX design is a multidisciplinary endeavor that draws upon various psychological principles and theories. By understanding cognitive psychology, emotional design, persuasive design, and behavioral psychology, designers can create user experiences that are not only intuitive and aesthetically pleasing but also emotionally resonant and psychologically compelling. As technology continues to evolve, the integration of psychology into UI/UX design will become increasingly crucial for crafting digital products that truly resonate with users and meet their ever-evolving needs and expectations.

Visit my Upwork project catalog :  Elementor Developer

[dyxtd21]

Ametrine aesthetic moodboard!! Ametrine: 

Appearance: Ametrine exudes a distinct vintage charm, reminiscent of the 1940s era. His appearance blends classic style with a unique and eye-catching color scheme. Standing tall and poised, he combines old-world elegance with an enigmatic edge.

Attire:

Sport Coat: Ametrine wears a tailored sport coat that exudes classic 1940s sophistication. The coat's cut is sharp, and its fit accentuates his well-defined frame, blending seamlessly with his vintage aesthetic.

Slacks: His high-waisted slacks are impeccably tailored, providing a streamlined look that complements his sport coat. The slacks are tailored to perfection, adding a refined touch to his overall ensemble.

Button-Down Shirt: Beneath his sport coat, he wears a crisp, button-down shirt that adds a touch of formal elegance. The shirt is a subtle complement to his vibrant color scheme.

Porkpie Hat: A sleek Porkpie hat rests atop his head, completing his vintage look. The hat adds an air of classic sophistication and timeless style, making him stand out in any crowd.

Gemstone: Oval-cut and on his right hand.

Coloration: Ametrine's coloration is a striking horizontal divide of vibrant purple and yellow hues. The upper half of his attire is a rich, deep purple, while the lower half contrasts with a bright, sunny yellow. This dual-tone palette gives him a visually captivating presence and reflects his complex personality.

Features:

Dual Nature: Ametrine's distinct color divide symbolizes his dual nature. He embodies both politeness and sadism, presenting a charming exterior while harboring darker intentions.

Criminal Edge: Despite his refined appearance, Ametrine is a criminal with a taste for the darker side of life. His vintage charm is juxtaposed with his illicit activities, adding an intriguing layer to his character.

Personality: Ametrine is a master of duality, balancing his vintage charm with a complex and dark persona. His politeness and refined demeanor make him an engaging conversationalist and a captivating figure in social settings. However, beneath this charming exterior lies a sadistic streak and a criminal mind. His actions and intentions often reflect a blend of calculated civility and underlying malice, making him a fascinating and unpredictable character.

His sophisticated attire and distinct coloration highlight his unique flair, while his dual nature and criminal tendencies add depth and intrigue to his personality. Ametrine is a character who seamlessly blends elegance with menace, creating a compelling and multifaceted presence.

Merits: 

1. Acute Sense: You have exceptionally sharp hearing, smell, vision or taste. 

2. Ambidextrous: You have a high degree of off hand dexterity, and can perform tasks with the "wrong" hand at no penalty. 

3. Catlike Balance: You possess an innately perfect sense of balance.

4. Common Sense: You have a significant amount of practical, everyday wisdom.

5. Concentration: You have the ability to focus your mind and shut out any distractions or annoyances

6. Corporation CEO: You have a particular influence and sway over a major corporation and associated companies, just as if you were its chief executive officer.

7. Crack Driver: You have a natural affinity with driving motorized wheeled vehicles, such as cars, 18 wheelers and other tractors.

8. Cupid's Gift: You're unusually seductive

9. Danger Sense: You have a sixth sense that warns you of danger. 

10. Dual Nature: You have two distinct Natures, both of which have an influence on your personality and behavior. 

11. Eidetic Memory: You can remember things seen and heard with perfect detail. 

12. Enchanting Voice: There is something about your voice cannot ignore. When you command, they are cowed. When you seduce they swoon. Whether thunderous, gentle, pausing or simply talking, your voice commands attention.

13. Hidden Talent: You have a knack for keeping secrets and for concealing objects so that others have a difficult time locating them.

14. Magic Sensitivity: You have a supernatural gift that allows you to know if any magic is in use or had been used recently within a 10-ft radius of yourself

15. Media Ties: You have both influence over and contacts in the local media.

16. Street Rep: People know you. Maybe you creamed a roomful of enforcers, maybe you have a way of surviving tough situations, or perhaps you just have a really good PR person running scam talks about you. In any case, people know your name.

Flaws:

1. Arrogant: Whether or not you actually think you're better than others, those around you consistently feel that you have a 'holier than thou' attitude.

2. Bard's Tongue: You speak the truth, uncannily so. Things you say tend to come true.

3. Enemy: You have an enemy, or perhaps a group of enemies, who seek to harm you

4. Incorrigible Flirt: You cannot resist making playful attempts at seducing anyone who fits your criteria for the perfect sexual partner. Although you may not intend to begin a serious relationship (or any relationship) with the object of your desire, you find yourself assuming the role of coquette or seducer, whichever seems more appropriate, whenever you are in the presence of someone who you consider attractive.

5. Sadism: Seeing someone whom you don't know with their back turned in the middle of a busy street is not likely to be considered available, but a hated enemy strapped to a table and at your mercy most definitely is.

Powers:

Super speed

Bubble creation and bubble storement

Holograms 

Gem Detection (Tied with the "Magic Sensitivity" merit)

Wall/Ceiling walking

Multipresence

Trick-shot. (Shoot and hit targets from seemingly impossible angles, even via ricochets)

Energetic Drain (Drains the energies of others)

Headcanon voice: Troy Baker 

[utkrashhomeopathic]

Exploring Common Homeopathic Remedies for PCOD/PCOS

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), or Polycystic Ovary Disorder (PCOD), is a prevalent hormonal disorder affecting millions of women worldwide. Characterized by hormonal imbalances, irregular menstrual cycles, and cysts on the ovaries, PCOS can significantly impact fertility and overall well-being. While conventional treatments focus on managing symptoms, many women turn to homeopathy for its holistic approach to addressing the underlying causes of PCOD/PCOS. Let's explore some common homeopathic remedies used in the management of this complex condition.

 Understanding PCOD/PCOS from a Homeopathic Perspective

Homeopathy views PCOD/PCOS as a manifestation of the body's internal disharmony, often involving disturbances in the hormonal, metabolic, and emotional spheres. Rather than suppressing symptoms, homeopathic remedies aim to stimulate the body's innate healing mechanisms, restoring balance and promoting overall health.

 Common Homeopathic Remedies for PCOD/PCOS

1. Sepia : Sepia is a well-known remedy for hormonal imbalances and menstrual irregularities. It is often prescribed for women with PCOD/PCOS who experience irregular or absent periods, along with mood swings and fatigue.

2. Pulsatilla : Pulsatilla is indicated for PCOS with irregular menstrual cycles, particularly when accompanied by a tendency towards emotional sensitivity and weepiness. It is often prescribed for women who experience relief from symptoms in open air and crave comforting foods.

3.Lachesis : Lachesis is recommended for PCOS with a tendency towards left-sided symptoms, such as ovarian pain or discomfort. It may be prescribed for women who experience aggravation of symptoms before menstruation or in menopausal transitions.

4. Thuja Occidentalis : Thuja is beneficial for PCOD/PCOS associated with skin issues, such as acne or oily skin. It may be indicated for women with hormonal imbalances exacerbated by stress or emotional strain.

5. Natrum Muriaticum : Natrum Muriaticum is prescribed for PCOS with irregular menstrual cycles and a history of grief or emotional suppression. It is often recommended for women who crave salt and tend to withdraw emotionally.

6. Calcarea Carbonica : Calcarea Carbonica is indicated for PCOD/PCOS with excessive weight gain or difficulty losing weight. It may be prescribed for women who experience cold hands and feet, along with fatigue and sluggishness.

7. Apis Mellifica : Apis Mellifica is beneficial for PCOS with ovarian cysts and accompanying stinging or burning pains. It may be recommended for women who experience relief from cool applications and worsened symptoms from heat.

Holistic Approach to PCOD/PCOS Management

In addition to homeopathic remedies, a holistic approach to PCOD/PCOS management encompasses lifestyle modifications, dietary changes, stress reduction techniques, and regular exercise. Consulting with a qualified homeopath can help tailor a treatment plan suited to individual needs, addressing both the physical and emotional aspects of PCOD/PCOS.

 Conclusion: Embracing Balance and Harmony

PCOD/PCOS presents complex challenges for women seeking to achieve hormonal balance and overall well-being. While conventional treatments focus on symptom management, homeopathy offers a gentle yet profound approach to addressing the underlying causes of PCOD/PCOS. By nurturing the body's innate healing capacities and restoring harmony on all levels, homeopathic remedies empower women to reclaim control of their health and vitality, paving the way for a brighter, more balanced future.

[teamworkbound]

Disc Personality Singapore | Identifying DISC trends in Managers

Disc Personality Singapore

Discovering intriguing trends in DISC profiles across various industries has been a revelation from our extensive data analysis. This blog sheds light on a groundbreaking journal article by Dr. Tom Henkel Ph.D., featuring a study conducted by Embry Riddle Aeronautical University. Their research, encompassing 753 managers from diverse sectors who completed the DISC Personality Singapore assessment, offers profound insights into workplace behavior tendencies. disc personality test

Understanding personalities through validated instruments like the Personality Profile System DISC, the Big 5 Personality, and MBTI is pivotal in comprehending our behavioral dynamics at work. These instruments provide a snapshot of our innate traits, guiding us towards self-awareness and effective interaction in professional settings.

Stay tuned for a captivating visual overview of the study’s results, showcasing the fascinating DISC profiles prevalent among government agencies, multinational corporations, and tertiary students. Prepare to be enlightened as we delve into the intricacies of workplace personality dynamics, unraveling the essence of professional excellence.

Importance of identifying DISC trends in managers

Reflecting on our team’s research and the intriguing DISC profile trends observed among 753 managers, let’s delve into the findings. Dr. Tom Henkel’s paper, published in the esteemed journal Human Resource and Adult Learning in 2018, presents captivating insights into managers’ DISC styles.

The results unveil a spectrum of DISC profiles, encompassing dominant traits such as Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. Most individuals exhibit a blend of two primary traits, showcasing their dominant and secondary characteristics.

Stay tuned as we explore the most common and rare DISC profiles among managers, offering a glimpse into the intricate tapestry of managerial personalities. Prepare to be enlightened by the revelations of this groundbreaking research, illuminating the essence of effective leadership dynamics.

DISCS Assessment Tool

The DISC assessment tool is a behavioral profiling system that categorizes individuals into four main personality types: Dominance (D), Influence (I), Steadiness (S), and Conscientiousness (C). It is widely used in various settings, including personal development, team building, and employee selection. The tool provides insights into how individuals communicate, make decisions, and interact with others based on their dominant personality traits. By understanding the DISC model, individuals can enhance their self-awareness, improve communication skills, and foster effective relationships.

Purpose of using DISC assessment in identifying trends

The utilization of DISC assessment serves a paramount purpose: trend identification. This powerful tool delves into the intricacies of individual behavior and communication modalities, unraveling the nuanced dynamics of interaction, decision-making, and response mechanisms. Through meticulous analysis of DISC assessment outcomes, discernible patterns emerge, empowering organizations to gain profound insights into their workforce composition. Armed with this knowledge, informed decisions can be made regarding team synergy, leadership cultivation, and talent optimization. Indeed, DISC assessment stands as a beacon for trend identification in both individual and collective behaviors, fostering enriched communication and elevating organizational efficacy to unprecedented heights.

Methodology for Identifying DISC Trends

The methodology for identifying DISC trends starts with administering a DISC assessment to employees, which provides insights into their behavioral preferences in the workplace. Once the assessments are completed, the next step is to collect and analyze the data. During the analysis phase, the focus is on identifying patterns and trends within the DISC profiles of employees. This involves looking for commonalities and differences in the distribution of dominant behavioral styles within the organization. For example, are there more employees with dominant or influential tendencies? Are there any noticeable traits among employees with a particular behavioral style? By analyzing the DISC assessment results, organizations can gain valuable information about the predominant behavioral styles present in their workforce and use this knowledge to inform various aspects of employee management, such as team building, leadership development, and conflict resolution strategies.

For More Info: Business canvas Singapore

[sweetlog]

Embracing the Art of Patience: Understanding Procrastination and the Human Nature

The Human Condition: At its core, procrastination reflects the complexity of the human condition. We are creatures of emotion, subject to whims and impulses that can lead us astray from our intended path. Understanding this innate tendency can help us approach procrastination with empathy, recognizing it as a common struggle shared by many.

The Fear Factor: Fear, whether of failure, rejection, or inadequacy, often lies at the heart of procrastination. We put off tasks because we fear the consequences of facing them head-on. By acknowledging and addressing these fears, we can begin to unravel the tangled web of procrastination and reclaim control over our actions.

Instant Gratification vs. Delayed Rewards: In a world of instant gratification, where a click of a button can summon a world of distractions, delaying gratification has become a lost art. Yet, the most meaningful achievements often require patience and perseverance. By shifting our focus from immediate rewards to long-term goals, we can cultivate the resilience needed to overcome procrastination.

The Paradox of Productivity: Paradoxically, rushing to complete tasks in a frenzy of activity can be counterproductive, leading to stress, burnout, and subpar results. Embracing the art of patience means recognizing that some tasks require time and reflection to be done well. By allowing ourselves the luxury of time, we can approach tasks with a sense of calm and clarity, yielding more meaningful outcomes.

Strategies for Success: Instead of battling procrastination with brute force, consider adopting gentler strategies rooted in self-compassion and mindfulness. Break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Set realistic deadlines and hold yourself accountable without succumbing to self-criticism. Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and focused on the task at hand.

Celebrating Progress, Not Perfection: Finally, remember that progress is not always linear, and perfection is an elusive goal. Celebrate small victories along the way, recognizing the effort and dedication it takes to overcome procrastination. By embracing imperfection and honoring the journey, we can cultivate a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in our endeavors.

[winterfable]

Introverts and Extroverts

[...]

Theories of types are not new with Jung, but he was possibly the first to utilize typology as a therapeutic tool. Differences in typology can be traced back to antiquity, as Heinrich Heine has done when he wrote in Deutschland:

Plato and Aristotle! These are not merely two systems; they are also types of two distinct natures, which from immemorial time, under every sort of cloak, stand more or less inimically opposed. But pre-eminently the whole medieval period was riven by this conflict, persisting even to the present day; moreover, this battle is the most essential content of the history of the Christian Church. Though under different names, always and essentially it is of Plato and Aristotle that we speak. Enthusiastic, mystical, Platonic natures reveal Christian ideas and their corresponding symbols from the bottomless depths of their souls. Practical, ordering, Aristotelian natures build up from these ideas and symbols a solid system, a dogma and a cult. The Church eventually embraces both natures—one of them sheltering among the clergy, while the other finds refuge in monasticism.

The introverted nature is Platonic in that it is mystical, spiritualized, and perceives in symbolic forms, while the extraverted nature is Aristotelian in that it is practical, a builder of a solid system from the Platonic ideal. Introverts are directed primarily toward an understanding of what they perceive, while extraverts naturally seek means of expression and communication. In introverts, the subjects themselves are at the center of every interest and the importance of the object lies in the way in which it affects the subject. In extraverts the object, the other in and of itself, to a large degree determines the focus of interest. Introverts’ interest in self-knowledge prevents them from being overpowered by the influence of their objective surroundings. Extraverts have a tendency to abandon concern for themselves to their interest in others. Hence the concern of introverts is in the direction of development of their individual potential while that of extraverts is more socially oriented. Introverts tend to set themselves and subjective psychic processes above achievement in the public domain, while extraverts seek the recognition of others as a predominant value. If we look at this from an evolutionary perspective we can see the relations between subject and object as a matter of adaptation. Extraverts, seeking fertility, spend and propagate themselves in every way; while introverts, seeking security, defend themselves against external claims and consolidate their positions.

Jung held the opinion that the innate disposition is the determining factor in the type the child will assume, under normal conditions. In an abnormal situation, for example when there is an extreme valuation of one attitude on the part of the mother, the child may be coerced into the opposite type. A neurosis will almost always occur in such a case. Then a cure can only result when what is sought is the development of the attitude that corresponds with the individual’s natural way.

It must be made clear from the start that no one is altogether an extravert or altogether an introvert. Each of us utilizes both tendencies, but in different proportions. Those of us who call ourselves sane find ourselves somewhere on the continuum between the two extremes, perhaps closer to one or the other of the poles, perhaps closer to the center. A few are far more introverted, a few far more extraverted, but most of us are somewhere in the middle. We are reasonably balanced and able to function in an introverted way when the situation calls for it and in an extraverted way when the situation calls for that.

Still, almost everyone has a preference. That preference is natural; only when it is extreme and we are totally in the grip of one side or the other do we get into real difficulty. A person who is unable to be flexible enough to move between the two would have trouble coping with the ever-changing demands of life in the world, and would probably end up being seriously disabled psychologically. When people are introverted to the absolute extreme, they may be diagnosed as autistic or schizophrenic, and would live lives that in many respects were detached from everyday reality. People who are extraverted in the extreme may behave in a manic or hysterical manner, or they may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses, all in a pathological effort to control the environment and the people in it. The comment has been made that many of the troubles of Western culture stem from the fact that we in the Western world are, as a whole, far too extraverted. The culture of the East is said to be more introverted, and hence has developed in different ways. However, if one looks closely at current trends in the development of consciousness, one may observe that these stereotypes are beginning to fall apart, if indeed they ever were accurate representations of differences in human consciousness. With the changes in Asia and the third world, it seems clear enough that extraversion is gaining more of a foothold there, while we in the West, who have always trusted external values, are beginning to look more and more within ourselves for the meaning and significance of what we do.

It is still true in some circles, however, that introversion is thought to be rather odd. Children who would rather curl up with a good book or spend long hours at the computer than go out and play ball with their friends are often looked upon as a little disturbed, and their parents urge them to get out and join the other children. Introverted children invariably find themselves at a disadvantage in our educational system also, for their way is to take hold of things slowly, reflect upon them, and to be hesitant to display their knowledge or their understanding, since they are acutely aware of their limitations.

Extraverts, on the other hand, have a relatively easy time of it. They are naturally able to see what the situation demands. Their desire for approval from others leads them to behave in ways that will secure this approval, whether it comes from helping people, or earning more money, or placing themselves in a position where they will win favorable publicity. Indeed, there are plenty of rewards for extraversion as anyone can plainly see. Consider which professions are most highly paid: many are those which please the public. The comic entertainer, for instance, is richly rewarded in contrast to the character actor, who is more interested in portraying his own understanding of a role than he is in what others may think of him. Then there are those who function with an eye toward public acceptance: the advertising account executive, the politician, the businessman, the manufacturer of what the public wants, and the manufacturer’s representative who sells it. How much less our society rewards the members of the more introverted professions: writing, teaching, scientific research, and the composition of serious music!

It is to Jung’s credit that he pointed out that these two types exist and that he accorded them equal value. He recognized that, although individuals tend to live out their conscious lives either on the side of introversion or of extraversion, there is a tendency in the unconscious to express the opposing side. The unconscious, as we have seen in our discussion of dreams, operates in a compensatory fashion toward consciousness; this is also true in terms of the attitudes. A person who is in a group, and consciously concentrating on the needs and experiences of other members of the group, is nonetheless experiencing individual emotional reactions to what is happening—even though these reactions may be un[1]conscious. The unconscious carries the opposing attitude, in this case introversion, which often makes itself heard by coming out with a thoughtless or inappropriate remark, or by interrupting another person in order to put out an idea which has suddenly burst forth with unreasonable urgency.

The attitudes, introversion and extraversion, are broad general categories. Jung further differentiated the typological system into four functions, or functional types. The functional types are: thinking, feeling, sensation, and intuition. These four functions represent ways in which we perceive and process the information that we receive, whether it comes from the external environment or from within ourselves. Altogether, then, Jung distinguished eight cognitive modes: introverted thinking, extraverted thinking, introverted feeling, extraverted feeling, introverted intuition, extraverted intuition, introverted sensation and extraverted sensation. Before looking at these combinations, it is important to have some idea of the nature of each of the four functions.

Intuition and sensation are the pair that perceive information, so they are called the perceiving functions. They are sometimes called the “non-rational” functions, because they simply gather information in a non-critical way, that is, without processing it. Intuition and sensation perceive reality quite differently. Intuition is the perceiving function that sees things whole, or in the broad context. It grasps the big picture and also sees the implications. When it looks at something, it imagines where it came from and how it arrived at this place. It looks for antecedents, for history, for broad general trends. It also speculates about the future, asking, where is this going? And perhaps, what is most important, intuition asks, what are the possibilities of what I am seeing?

Sensation is the perceiving function that notices details. It is interested in the precise nature of things. It asks, what does it look like? How is it constructed? How does it function? Sensation likes to take apart things, data, ideas, to see what makes them tick. It will pursue its search for information until it finds every piece and fits it into a picture. Only then, when it is all complete, is it able to see the whole picture, but it has shown infinite patience in the process of gathering. Sensation depends very much upon the senses, which are its primary source of information. This is why it is called “sensation.”

Thinking and feeling are the functions that process information. To do so, certain judgments must be made, therefore these two are called the judging functions. However, they process information in different ways. Having received information through either intuition or sensation, and most likely from both in varying degrees, it is now the role of thinking or feeling to determine a course of action. Thinking proceeds with some deliberation, evaluating the situation and looking at the pros and cons. It applies certain values or standards to determine the general direction in which to move, and sets forth goals or objectives. Thinking then begins to formulate plans that will lead step by step from the data to the desired result. I am not speaking of business here, necessarily, although it may sound as if I am, but the thinking process can apply to any situation, to anyone, at any age. It is a reasoning process, and it aims to carry through from beginning to end.

Feeling is also a judging process, but it operates quite differently from thinking to achieve its ends. Feeling depends upon a personal or subjective value system—there is something conscious or unconscious, against which objective reality is measured. Feeling operates with spontaneity, responding directly to a situation before analyzing its many aspects to determine its worth or usefulness. Feeling says, I like that, or, that will never do. Feeling has a way of sizing up a person or a place without stopping to figure out why it comes to the conclusions it does. It can easily decide whether something is acceptable or not. Feeling is associated with empathy; the person with a strong feeling function can look into the face of another and realize what the other is experiencing—pain or pleasure, hurt or anger. This is different from intuition, which sees things whole and does not have strong subjective responses. People with strong feeling functions base their responses to situations on their sense of what is right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate, urgent or not urgent, or any other criteria by which something may be judged.

None of these four functions operates by itself. They operate in tandem with the two attitudes, introversion and extra[1]version. Intuition, sensation, thinking and feeling act differently depending upon whether they are introverted or extraverted. Combining each function with its attitude gives us the eight cognitive modes. Let us look briefly at each one, to get some idea of what they are like.

We return to Plato and Aristotle, whom we have already mentioned. We said that Plato represented the introvert and Aristotle the extravert. Plato’s first concern was with his own inner world, the world of ideas, the world of abstractions. His primary way of dealing with the inner world, however, was through intuition. He observed human nature in its totality and dealt with whole concepts in his philosophy. He would make broad general statements first, and only later would he become somewhat more specific. Of course he was not limited to introverted intuition; he employed both thinking and feeling to process the information that came from his intuitive perceptions of the inner world. Sensation was the function to which he paid the least attention.

This was exactly the opposite of what we are led to believe was the style of Aristotle. As we have said, it was the external world that captured Aristotle’s interest. He became intensely involved in what he could observe with his own eyes and with his other senses. If one reads the descriptions of his researches on animals, for example, on their appearance, their structure, their gait, one is struck by the close attention he paid to every small detail. He was a master at perceiving and collecting information. He tended to report on his information so collected with objectivity, which suggests that he was interested more in what a thing was than in why it was so. It seems clear enough that Aristotle’s leading cognitive mode could have been extraverted sensation. But again, his repertoire of responses to reality was not limited to this one cognitive mode.

Now let us survey the other six cognitive modes:

Introverted feeling: When feeling is introverted, individuals use their own internal standards to judge people and things. These values may have originated with their parents or with society, but now they are solidly entrenched in the person. Introverted feeling people are not likely to change their beliefs to conform to current trends. They do not readily submit to peer pressure, unless their peers’ actions are in accordance with their own beliefs and values. Introverted feeling people generally believe that they understand others very well, yet they often experience themselves as being misunderstood. However, their loyalty and devotion are known and appreciated by those who share their perspectives. The adage “Still waters run deep” applies to many introverted feeling people. Mother Teresa would exemplify this cognitive mode.

Extraverted feeling: When feeling is extraverted, people usually adhere to values that are compatible with those of the society in which they move, or are consonant with traditional standards. Even if their “society” is that of a subculture or anti-social group, they know very well the values of that group. They know the appropriate behavior for a given situation, and if they violate it they do so with a conscious intent. They know exactly what they like and dislike. They are able to express their feelings freely in public. They are seldom tact[1]less. Their extraversion allows them to be amiable and responsive to others, often putting others’ needs above their own. They value friends and professional and business relationships. Their empathic understanding of the feelings of others and their ability to make others feel valued and important tend to create harmonious interactions with other people. Often they become public figures. Martin Luther King could be an example.

Introverted thinking: Introverted thinking people tend to begin their problem-solving from a subjective position, starting out with some sort of inner conviction. This cognitive mode is used by people in poetry, philosophy, mathematics, statistics and computer programming, for example. Intro[1]verted thinkers prefer to work independently. The home office is just right for them. They prefer communicating by modem, fax or telephone to face-to-face contact. They can be stubborn in pursuit of their own novel views and they are good at making conceptual connections between seemingly disparate ideas. Introverted thinking can be a creative process, as these people are good at revealing similarities between: ideas or bringing new ideas into realization. It is difficult to find well[1]known examples of this type, because they usually manage to keep out of public view, but Emily Dickinson or Annie Dillard would surely qualify.

Extraverted thinking: These people are most concerned with finding meaning in their lives in the world around them. They believe that they are governed primarily by reason and not by emotions. They strive for perfection, and want to live in accordance with some sort of universal idea or law. They measure good and evil. They judge their own behavior and that of others on the basis of “shoulds” and “oughts” that are connected with their preconceived notions. They regard as moral and right those who share their ideals, and they make great efforts to persuade others to see things as they see them. As they direct their attention to the world around them, they organize facts into meaningful units. Charles Darwin, in his Ori[1]gin of Species, exemplified a creative extraverted thinker in the way he classified and organized natural forms. Bill Clinton could be an example of this cognitive mode as it appears in public life.

Introverted sensation: These people are very much in touch with their own bodily sensations, and they use these for their perceptions, more than their observations of the external world. Introverted sensation, like all introverted functions, connects with an inner world. People who are strong in this cognitive mode are attracted to mythological images and stories, timeless images of the world and of their personal relationships. If an introverted sensing person happens to be an artist, the work tends to be inspired by some archetypal figure, as for example Henry Moore and his impressive sculptures depicting the Great Mother. Or the individual who identifies with the crippled craftsman, Hephaestus, may view life’s events from the perspective of a person who is always at a disadvantage as compared to others. When introverted sensation people are not creative or artistic, they may experience some frustration in trying to communicate their eternal images to the temporal world. Some technical skills need to be developed if they are to bring their inward perceptions into concrete reality. Vincent Van Gogh is an example of an intro[1]verted sensation type who accomplished this.

Extraverted intuition: People with strong extraverted intuition may have the inclination to envision the future. They are rarely at a loss for speculative or imaginative solutions to problems. As they contemplate what is possible, they see the final state, but not necessarily every step needed to complete their grand design. An individual with strong extraverted intuition is often the idea person who leaves to others the details of bringing the task to fruition. Sometimes these people are entrepreneurs, gaining and losing several fortunes within one lifetime. They are likely to follow their hunches and speculations without necessarily questioning the origins of their intuitions. To extraverted intuitives, routines can be deadly, and existing situations can become prisons once the novelty wears off. They thrive in situations that provide variety and allow for spontaneity. The name that comes to mind is Hillary Rodham Clinton.

In actual practice I have found that very few people fall into the distinct categories that I have outlined. Most rely primarily upon a preferred cognitive mode, and to a lesser extent on a secondary cognitive mode, but the two work well together; thus, an extraverted intuitive-thinking type would be an extravert whose intuition is primary, and is modified by the thinking function. The truest thing that can be said about psychological types is that there are many of them and anyone who concerns himself with typology must ask the question, “Will one type ever truly understand another?”

The question is extremely pertinent in psychotherapy when one is dealing with couples who are experiencing marital difficulties. So often I see couples who seem, potentially, to have everything going for them, and yet they are so cruel and disagreeable with one another that I despair of getting them even to listen to each other, much less take each other’s views into consideration. Or, at the opposite pole, there is a degree of indifference that exists which leaves no doubt of the fact that the two individuals may be living in the same world but, from the way they view it, it might as well be two worlds. It becomes necessary, in therapy, to give both people an opportunity to express their feelings and thoughts, their sense perceptions and intuitions, in their own characteristic ways. When both can present their views in all clarity with respect to a certain issue, and it becomes-clear that the views are radically different, the introduction of the theory of types may be extremely helpful. No longer can each party make the assumption that there are two ways to look at the problem, “my way and the wrong way.” They are forced to recognize that different views are frequently the only possible outcome of different typologies. They may be led to see that if each one can recognize the validity of the views of the other, and see the other's views as necessary to round out a more whole approach to a set of circumstances, the two may begin to consult each other before making a decision rather than fighting about it afterward. Each may learn from the other and so increase his or her own ability to respond in a variety of ways. And, where individuals cannot alter their own make-up, they can at least recognize the right of their partners to have free expression for their own intrinsic natures.

[...]

When Jung first wrote about typology, it was long before anyone had heard of psychological tests. Jung’s major work in this area was done around 1920, and: psychological testing only began in the 1940s with World War II, when it was first developed by the armed forces in order to classify personnel in various ways. While personality testing has become very sophisticated over the years since then and is now a large industry, it is important to remember that in Jung’s time the statis[1]tical measures that were later used to develop psychological tests or inventories were not available. Whether he would have used them or not if they had been available is another question. Jung was, of course, still writing in the 1940s and 1950s, but by that time his interests had gone far afield from his early work on typology and he did not return to it in his later years. Although the concept of typology as developed by Jung is extremely useful, some of the assumptions he made about typology were the result of pure intuition, and were not called into question or tested empirically for many years.

One of these concepts that I have found reason to question was Jung’s bipolar assumption. It is based upon the idea, so frequently alluded to by Jung, that the psyche is composed of pairs of opposites. This notion finds expression in the dualities which fill Jung’s writings, such as consciousness/the unconscious, good/evil, light/dark, masculine/feminine, anima/animus, persona/shadow, ego/self, Christ/Antichrist, eternal/temporal, and others. The two elements in the dualities are always posed against each other as opposites and are considered basically to be mutually exclusive. It is not surprising, therefore, that this tendency inherited by Jung from nineteenth-century philosophy would have been applied to his theory of typology.

Indeed, Jung tended to set extraversion against introversion; you favored either one or the other. Thinking and feeling, although both judging functions, were regarded as mutually exclusive. If, as a thinking type, you dealt with issues slowly, methodically and deliberately, you clearly could not be a feeling type, coming to quick spontaneous decisions based upon your feeling values. Similarly with intuition and sensation. If, as an intuitive type, you tended to see things whole and to favor making generalizations, you could not pay great attention to particulars and talk in specific terms rather than in generalities, as a sensation type would. The theory, graphically portrayed, would look like this:

Jung made the further assumption that, if your leading attitude was introverted, your extraversion would, of necessity, be “inferior.” And, if your thinking function was “superior,” then your feeling function must be “inferior.” If your intuition was superior your sensation function must then, ipso facto, be inferior. He suggested that efforts should be made to bring the psyche into balance, but of course these efforts would be of little avail because the superior functions were supposed to be conscious and therefore could be utilized easily, but the inferior functions were in the unconscious, and difficult if not impossible to reach. None of this was questioned or put to statistical testing until fairly recently.

In my own training analysis, my analyst thought my leading cognitive mode was introverted thinking. She based this on what she knew about me from her observations in the ana[1]lytic setting, the only place she ever saw me. If thinking was my superior function, she had to assume that my feeling function was poorly developed. I suffered from this assumption, because it did not seem to me that I lacked capacities for empathy or for spontaneous and valid judgment. I just didn’t do much quick judging in her presence, partly out of respect for her wisdom and authority, and partly: because I was going through personal difficulties that I managed to cope with by using my intellectual capacities. My own assessment was that I was strong in both feeling and thinking, and it was hard to say which function was stronger. On the other hand, I was not so confident of either my intuition or my sensation function. So there was no place in the schema for me, and I decided that this mutually exclusive bipolar system of identifying typology was not something I would want to use. I put it out of my mind and so it remained until many years later, when personality theorists began to devise and statistically validate objective measures for assessing psychological type.

The first personality inventory based on Jung’s theory of typology that I heard about was devised by Joseph Wheel[1]wright, one of those rare Jungian analysts who was an ex[1]traverted feeling type. Interested in what was going on in the outer world as well as the inner world, he decided to develop an inventory to determine a person's psychological type with[1]out having to depend upon the intuition of the therapist or analyst. He joined forces with a psychologist, Horace Gray, who was well versed in statistical methods, and together they produced the Gray-Wheelwright Jungian Type Survey (JTS). It was arranged according to the schema above, but it gave a score for each of the attitudes and all four of the functions so you could see which were the stronger and which were the weaker attitudes and functions, and what was the difference between them. The JTS was composed of a series of questions with two choices for answers, and the person had to select one of the two in every case. My score came out introverted, which I would have expected, but the surprise was that I had scored 11 points on thinking and 10 points on feeling. Statistically speaking, there was no significant difference between them!

In subsequent years, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), also based on Jung’s theory of typology, came into wide usage. It, like the JTS, is based on a bipolar design. The MBTI is the product of extensive research and has been statistically validated over and over again. It uses the dimensions of Jung’s typology to place people into sixteen different categories, each with its specific characteristics. This has proved extremely effective in classifying groups of people according to their typological preferences, as the popularity of the instrument attests. It is used in business and industry throughout the United States and internationally. People who take the inventory are encouraged to identify with the group of people whose test results are similar to their own. At the same time, they learn to respect and value individual differences.

I have long felt that it was necessary to call into question the assumption underlying the bipolar structure of inventories designed to measure the personality characteristics defined by Jung. If two of the “opposites,” such as thinking and feeling, were so close in score that the preference would be unclear, was it correct to classify a person as thinking type and to dis[1]regard the presence of the feeling function? Or could there be another way of measuring typology that would show that there was little or no real difference between two functions when this was indeed the case? Would it not be useful to measure each cognitive mode separately, instead of forcing the person to choose between one and its opposite? A colleague, Jungian analyst Dr. Mary Loomis, and I tested out the hypothesis that, if the bipolar assumption were correct, it would make no difference whether the inventory measured the cognitive modes in a forced choice context or independently. Our research showed that there is a significant difference in the personality profile depending on whether the cognitive modes are measured on a bipolar scale or independently. Furthermore, when the cognitive modes are measured independently of each other, once the leading cognitive mode is determined by the highest score, any of the other seven can be next highest and any one can score lowest.

Loomis and I developed the Singer-Loomis Inventory of Personality (SLIP), which was based on a scale that measured each cognitive mode separately. This inventory provides an individual profile for each person, with separate scores for each of the eight cognitive modes. It enables people to rank their cognitive modes in the order of preference, from the highest to the lowest. It is also able to measure changes over time in each of the cognitive modes. This is especially useful in evaluating growth and development.

[...]

Most people, as ‘they learn about the various cognitive modes, will identify more than one as being an aspect of their personality. This is not surprising, since all of us have at our disposal all eight of the cognitive modes. I like to think of them as eight colors on an artist’s palette. If every artist would begin with the same eight colors and paint according to his or her own particular style, some would use more of one color, some of another. They would mix them differently. Some would use many of the colors and some only a few. Each artist’s painting would be different, yet without too much difficulty one could identify the characteristics of the artists by their paintings. In like manner, it seems to me, we all combine the eight cognitive modes in our behavioral repertoire, yet each of us does it in a characteristic way. Typology has its ingredients, but each of us is different in the way we use them.

I have come to the conclusion that it is important to avoid getting caught on the dilemma of whether the opposites are really opposite. Jung left that question aside quite early in his career. In his later work he was devoted to the possibility of bringing together the opposites, to finding the harmony both within and without that is consonant with seeing the person as a whole, instead of as a collection of parts and pieces. The process of analysis, almost by definition, is a taking apart and looking at the pieces. But this must be done with the principle in mind that the pieces, when examined separately, are like an automobile when it is taken apart for repair. You might be able to find out what is wrong with it, but that doesn’t solve the problem. Only when it is put back together again is it a whole. It is more than the collection of its parts. It can do what the parts separately cannot do. It runs.

[...]

--June Singer en "Boundaries of the Soul"

[belladvice]

What He Truly Desires, Beyond the Ideal Woman

How much effort do women invest in trying to conform to an idealized image of what men desire? For most, the dedication is substantial. Countless hours are devoted to cultivating an appearance that exudes allure and charm.

There’s an incessant focus on projecting an image of being engaging, well-rounded, and entirely self-sufficient — a portrayal meticulously crafted to avoid any semblance of dependence.

Endless efforts are spent illustrating just how seamlessly compatible one could be, how their presence could significantly enhance a man’s future. Yet, despite these endeavors, the results are consistently disappointing. Why? Why exert such tremendous effort?

Invariably, the man in your life appears to either take your efforts for granted or, worse yet, fails to acknowledge them altogether. Perhaps this is a symptom of immaturity on his part, an inability to recognize value until it’s absent. Or could it be attributed to the fact that all the labor has been done on his behalf?

If a person doesn’t invest effort into nurturing a relationship, they are unlikely to appreciate its significance.

The true worth of what men hold dear often lies in the effort required to attain it.

Offer a man a college diploma on a silver platter, and its value diminishes compared to the same diploma earned through years of dedicated study and hard work.

Present a man with the perfect girlfriend without any pursuit, and her value to him pales in comparison to the admiration he’d hold if he had to earnestly court her for weeks to earn her affection and companionship.

Playing hard to get is effective for several reasons, and understanding them can shed light on its success.

However, as you might have observed…

There exists a significant issue with employing the tactic of playing hard to get: its effectiveness diminishes once the pursuit reaches its culmination.

A shift occurs in the mindset of individuals once they perceive they have successfully captured your interest. It’s as though they regard the endeavor as concluded, signaling a mental “game over.”

This prompts a puzzling question: What exactly transpires in their thoughts?

Moreover, how can this tendency be intercepted to prevent its potential disruption to your relationship?

Shared Experience: Why Seeking Help is Common Among Women

Numerous women opt to steer clear of love, shying away from deep emotional connections with men, fearing it might drive them away.

Conversely, there are those who take an alternative route — they seek guidance.

Renowned relationship coach James Bauer often finds himself as a pivotal resource for such individuals.

Observing a trend among his clients, he noticed a recurring issue: many lamented about men exhibiting inconsistent behavior — engaging warmly and affectionately initially, only to inexplicably withdraw overnight.

His schedule no longer allotted any time for her

His demeanor shifted noticeably — no smiles in greeting, dwindling eye contact, even his kisses turned perfunctory.

Driven by a genuine desire to assist his clients, James delved into an investigation.

His findings unraveled the enigma, shedding light on the reasons behind these men’s withdrawal. James understood their unmet needs and, crucially, what they craved but weren’t receiving.

It wasn’t a matter of shortcomings on the part of these women.

Instead, it all revolved around a concept he coined as “The Hero Instinct.”

Unlocking His Heroic Instinct

Women possess an innate capacity for nurturing and care that is truly remarkable.

Consider your dedication — you’re consistently by your partner’s side, attending to his needs, prioritizing him above all else. Your willingness to go to any lengths for him is undeniable.

However, in this process…

Unbeknownst to you, you might unintentionally strip away a fundamental aspect from him: his sense of purpose.

He desires to be your protector, not the other way around.

Men are drawn to the concept of heroism. Look at the enduring appeal of Marvel comics and superhero films to grown men.

Since childhood, every man harbors the dream of becoming that hero — the one who not only saves the world but also wins the heart of the girl.

Yet, in the confines of their typical 9–5 jobs, most men lack the opportunity to indulge this innate inclination toward saving the world.

Present Him with a Formidable Challenge

In the realm of everyday life, there’s no grand signal prompting individuals to abandon their corporate façade and transform into a superhero. While they may not possess the power to rescue the world, there’s still the chance to win someone’s heart.

For an average person with an innate heroic spirit, winning over someone’s affections is a formidable quest. It necessitates an extraordinary level of confidence, charm, and an ability to withstand emotional blows. The missing piece?

Discovering someone in need of a hero. Are you the one seeking a hero? Allow me to surmise… Perhaps that isn’t the case for you.

You exude strength and independence.

Fixing a leaky faucet or maneuvering a stick shift are within your capabilities. Self-sufficiency is your forte.

You’ve outgrown the notion of seeking a partner to fill a void, a belief that steers clear of the Jerry Maguire mistake.

Your contribution to a relationship is substantial. You possess a heart brimming with generosity, kindness, and boundless love. Your only desire is to find someone who appreciates and embraces all that you offer.

Yet, the heroes seem absent from your story. Instead, you’ve encountered numerous individuals who simply take without reciprocation.

You’ve experienced being depleted by those who only seek to receive, leaving you stranded. If a hero is what you seek, it’s time to broadcast your requirements. Here’s a blueprint on how to do just that.

Unlocking the Path to Embrace Heroes in Your Life: A 3-Step Guide

1. Engage in Seeking Assistance

Initiate conversations by seeking a guy’s expertise. Whether it’s seeking advice on purchasing a new computer, addressing an odd rattling noise in your car, or even asking for help reaching an item on a top shelf, these requests are avenues to connect. Express sincere gratitude with a warm and appreciative smile, as appreciation knows no bounds in building connections.

Remember, this isn’t about portraying neediness. Instead, it showcases an openness to allowing meaningful connections to flourish within your life.

2. Appreciate the Company of Men

There’s an allure in women who genuinely value men for simply being themselves. Sure, his place might resemble a shrine to sports, or perhaps he invests hours into his fantasy football team. Maybe his definition of a clean shirt differs from yours.

But he’s a man, and that’s perfectly alright. You don’t need him to mirror your preferences because you effortlessly bring the feminine aspect to the equation.

3. Let Respect Be Earned

True heroes revel in challenges. They aren’t seeking unearned accolades or an effortless bestowment of affection. They want to work for it.

More than anything, they desire a challenge, an opportunity to showcase their worth. So, instead of exerting yourself to win him over, allow him the space to earn your admiration.

Relax, take a step back, and let him delight in earning your respect.

Delve deeper into the art of continuous improvement by accessing an enlightening video presentation on this invaluable relationship enhancement tool. Discover a skill you can acquire and harness indefinitely, a learning investment that promises perpetual application in your life. Simply Click here to embark on this insightful journey.

[bibabodesign2]

#Blog 23: Research

2023.4.8

Anthropocene

The Anthropocene is a proposed geological epoch dating from the commencement of significant human impact on Earth's geology and ecosystems, including, but not limited to, anthropogenic climate change.

It was coined in the 1980s, then popularised in 2000 by atmospheric chemist Paul J Crutzen and diatom researcher Eugene F Stoermer. 

It is widely accepted that our species, Homo sapiens, has had such a significant impact on Earth and its inhabitants that we will have a lasting - and potentially irreversible - influence on its systems, environment, processes and biodiversity.

/ A Neo-felicious Past, Cheng Guo

Artist Cheng Guo created a piece of land with an area of 1 square meter, a complete cube, a clean cube through excavation-screening-clearing-backfilling on a piece of land reclaimed after World War II in the northwest of Amsterdam. Any human information penetrates the "no human trace" land in the Anthropocene strata, forming a time capsule "without" human information, a kind of intervention in the Anthropocene strata.

/ This Land, David Opdyke

After hundreds of years of blindness to the collateral damage of capitalism run amok, the system needs a full reset. It must be dismantled, redesigned, and rebuilt. The antique postcards that make up This Land celebrate a world which was built by that system. We still live in that world, and fixing it is on us.

/ Clearcut #1, Palm Oil Plantation, Borneo, Malaysia 2016, Edward Burtynsky

Oil palms yield more oil per acre than other crops, however soaring demand for the world’s most popular vegetable oil has led to extensive deforestation and loss of wildlife in Indonesia and Malaysia, the biggest producers. 86 per- cent of deforestation in Malaysia from 1995-2000 was for oil palm plantations. Several studies have found an 80-90% reduction in biological diversity follow- ing forest conversion to oil palm plantation.

/ Thierry Oussou, La Poésie

This is an installation consisting of tree branches that redesigned especial- ly for each new presentation, based on locally found branches. The artist is aiming to write with wood. To Oussou, poetry is not something you can only write with pen and paper, but poetry is all around us in natural forms. You just have to see it and take it indoors.

Anthropocentrism

Anthropocentrism is the belief that human beings are the central or most important entity in the universe. The term can be used interchangeably with humanocentrism, and some refer to the concept as human supremacy or human exceptionalism. From an anthropocentric perspective, humankind is seen as separate from nature and superior to it, and other entities (animals, plants, minerals, etc.) are viewed as resources for humans to use.