#with a tiny bit of kallura lol

[sp4c3-0ddity]

25 & 100 Plance please.

(25) Fairy Tale AU

(100) Accidentally Saving the Day

muahaha time to debut my very first plance AU…the one i will probably never write despite it being very near and dear to my heart…but anyway:

Lance is your average everyday country boy that thirsts for adventure. He grew up on stories of distant wars where a common man could be a hero and myths of the fallen Altea. His favorite was of Altea’s last princess, a beautiful woman rumored to have slept for the last thousand years awaiting a kiss from her true love to wake her

so when the call to adventure arrives, who is he to refuse?

it comes in the form of a boy traveling alone. he passes through Lance’s village of farmers, begging for directions to an unknown location rumored to be somewhere in the fertile river valley the farmers call home. Most villagers turn the desperate boy away, suspicious of the outsider (why would someone so young travel alone? he must be a fairy, bearing secret knowledge that no man should have), but Lance explored every corner of the valley as a child and knows the landmark the boy speaks of

The boy’s name is Pidge, and Hunk has a bad feeling about it so tags along to make sure Lance doesn’t do anything stupid…and to make sure they make it home

(They won’t)

The crumbling stones Pidge finds are nothing like the magnificent structure the artist that rendered it in a manuscript from her father’s library. Lichen sticks to what remains, and the trees and their shadows hide it from the view of anyone that wouldn’t know where to look for it…or who stumbles across it by accident. But the flowers that grow along the riverbank - flowers that grow nowhere else in the valley - are just like the illustrations…

Lance weaves a flower crown from them for lack of anything better to do while Pidge and Hunk comb the ruins, so he’s the one to sound the alarm when a hunter finds them. But they’re three unarmed teenagers, at the mercy of a man that has dark magic at his disposal…

They hide in the ruins, but the shelter won’t last them. Pidge recites a rhyme - “Hidden lands, hidden heart; give of thyself to find the start” - and at first Lance thinks it’s an incantation (”oh no he is a fairy!”). Pidge presses “his” hands to cut stone and admits to being a girl, but before Lance or Hunk can react to that their surroundings and the hunter’s attack dissolve…

“What happened?” are the first words out of Hunk’s mouth.

“You’re a girl?!” are the first words out of Lance’s

Cue a journey through the remains of lost Altea, a land now lawless, dodging bandits and druids and roving bands of Galra hellbent on resurrecting Zarkon, their lost king, at the behest of the “immortal” witch Haggar

Lance realizes he’s stepped into a world of myth, Hunk really wants to go back home, and Pidge just wants to find her family (taken captive by evil forces when her father uncovered some mysterious truth)…so naturally Lance pushes them on towards the ruined castle where the last princess of Altea is rumored to sleep in the hopes of waking her and putting a stop to the evil already spreading over the world

And why else would he be here if not to wake the princess with his kiss? It’s not like he has burgeoning feelings for Pidge or anything…

(Fated to wake the princess is actually the rogue half-Galra warrior seeking his missing guardian…and his destiny.)

[materassassino]

1 and 10 ?

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

HOO BOY. Apart from the fact I don’t really understand Sheith and never really have (idk, it just feels like there’s nothing interesting there visually, like a cheap yaoi pairing, and the whole “like a brother to me” thing is a deal-breaker), I STILL understand it more than I understand Shidge and Kallura.

Shidge is... fucking weird? Like, most Shidge shippers whine that they’re aging Pidge up, but then they ACTUALLY FUCKING DON’T? They hypersexualise and hyperfeminise Pidge, often going as far as to put her in Allura’s wardrobe (like subconsciously they feel the black woman threatens their shitty ship, which she does, because if I were Shiro I wouldn’t want to date the FUCKING CHILD and would definitely go for the adult, thanks) and Shiro just... seems like such a creeper? It feels like he has some sort of sister complex straight from a crappy hentai, it makes me shudder in disgust. They always use the name Katie for Pidge even though Pidge GOES BY PIDGE IN THE SHOW, they just... I’m 100% sure these nasty-ass fuckers are just fetishising the both of them. Keep your anime lolicon far away from this series, thanks.

And as for Kallura... Literally NOBODY WAS SHIPPING IT BEFORE WONDERCON WHEN EVERYONE COLLECTIVELY LOST THEIR TINY MINDS OVER AN UNSCRIPTED, UNOFFICIAL INTERVIEW ANSWER. Kallura shippers like to think there’s soooo much chemistry there because wow, they got a canon hug, but they seem to blatantly ignore how uncomfortable and unhappy Allura and Keith are with each other: during the entirety of their little space road trip, they act like it’s the worst thing they’ve ever done, Allura seems relieved when she gets to talk to Shiro over the comm, and Keith barely reacts to Allura with an expression that isn’t complete boredom or whiny pissbaby. They treat Allura like a reward for Keith, like she’s a prize he deserves for being Keith, idk. And they constantly dismiss and belittle Allura’s trauma and the genocide of her people, while ignoring how Keith seeks her validation specifically which, yanno, is a fucking microaggression? They keep using the 80s series as “proof” even if it means jack shit because this is a reboot, they beat down Shallura and have the world’s biggest holier-than-thou attitude, acting like the hand touch is paternal (like, fucking ew?) and Collection and Extraction never even existed, and they also like to throw around the racism word as if anyone who doesn’t ship it is racist. As if there aren’t black Shallura and Klance shippers, lol. Kallura shippers are pretty awful people. 

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

URGH, of course the stupid bit where Keith is all “wa wa wa #NotAllGalra pwincess VALIDATE ME!!!” and the whole narrative acts like ALLURA is in the wrong for having misgivings about there being another Galra around like Zarkon didn’t fucking betray and destroy her people from the inside before. It was so mishandled and so fucking biased it made me kind of sick. Allura has every right to be wary and angry. And yeah, Keith can’t help what he is and he didn’t grow up Galra at all, but he was just so desperate to have an entire race of space-Nazis validated just because he found out he was one... FUCKBOY ALERT. It was a shitshow and I fucking despised it.

Send me some salt, babes