#wishy washy vague answer im sorry

[stopthatfool]

Hi fool! <3

I love your fanfic so much and I remember reading it a while ago and genuinely loving it so so much! I really enjoy your interpretation of the characters, particularly Slider! :)

Your fic was one of my favorites for a good while (before I took a break from the fandom)! I still love it so much! Do you ever plan on updating it any time soon? (I’m so sorry if you’ve already addressed this)

Hello squoony!! <3

It's so nice to hear from you! And thank you again for your lovely comments on the jeep fic!! I always appreciate comments, so thank you! I'm glad to hear that you like my interpretation of Slider--I was so worried about getting him wrong/inaccurate! :) And no need to apologize for anything! I'm always happy to answer questions about the fic!

To answer your question: I do plan on updating, I just don't really know when that will be lol. I thought I would be able to update over the summer like I did to last year, but I obviously didn't end up doing that. My life recently has been a little crazy (kinda got hit with that infamous fanfic writer curse) and it threw me for a loop for a little while and kind of killed any desire to write for top gun specifically.

I have a plan for the rest of the fic though! And it's always in the back of my head begging me to finish it! Uni has started up for me again, which makes everything complicated (as privatized education always does), but I'm starting to let myself think about the fic again (and making minor edits and fixes to the published chapters here and there)!

I know my answer doesn't really give a definite time as to when ch. 8 will be finished and posted, but it's what I'm working with right now so I hope that's ok!

It's really nice to know that people are thinking about the fic, so thank you for reaching out, I really appreciate it!! <33

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

ok ngl i sent you several asks now but im pretty sure you're the reason why i've accepted that i am actually a guy with a pussy (i just had a mini breakdown abt that today and i found your blog like. a day or so before?)

(and tbh i do like being a girl but sometimes im just. not. and i dont have to force myself :) also. i love that you dont like transmasc hcs bc same lmao i thought i was like. transphobic but no. there's something going on here but it's not bigotry idk ig it just hits too close for me?)

I’m blinking at you like a stunned owl right now. Congratulations man I’m glad I could’ve helped in some way :] this is such a crazy ask to wake up to LOL (sorry if I’m not too eloquent, it’s buttfuck o clock in the morning but I thought I’d answer this as quick as I could)

You really don’t have to force yourself. I think every trans person has a complicated and deeply personal relationship to gender and at the end of the day it’s whatever makes you happiest, at least to me. Personally, my conception of my own gender fluctuates; presentation and androgyny are strong influences on how I feel; transmasc and genderfluid are just the simplest (and thus most useful for my purposes) labels even if they’re not 100% correct for me. Queerness is one of those things that can be hard to catch by the ankle and wrestle into a label. Although for some people it is! Not to be wishy washy but it’s all different.

Anyway. I didn’t talk at length about why I don’t really fuck with transmasc headcanons (I’d rather not get accused of transphobia on tumblr) but it’s really just that transmasculinity is my real actual life. A lot of my life already centers transness by default, which is not, you know, a bad thing. It’s just how it is. And again I have a complicated relationship with gender.

So while I’m a firm believer that other people should make their paper dolls look and fuck how they want, my paper dolls will almost always be cis guys. Something about the fantasy of having a dick, something about me personally finding dick on dick action hot (points at myself. fujoshi.) something about not wanting to write about all the intricacies of transness and worry about if I’m “portraying it correctly” or “representing the community well”…it’s too much and quite frankly I’m an erotica writer having too much fun on the internet, and that’s how I like it. A mutual described all that as “the politics of pussy” and that sums up the aversion I have to writing about transmasculinity when I write for kicks and giggles. I want to do it “right” even if I simultaneously hold the belief that there’s no “right” way to write most things and that kind of cognitive gymnastics is tiring.

As always I have exceptions. You’ll find at least a couple works on my ao3 that feature explicitly transmasc characters or are vague about the sex of the characters on purpose. This is either because someone paid me to write those (which is not a dig, I wouldn’t have accepted the commission if I didn’t want to!) or because I was just in the mood to write trans porn, lmao. It’s difficult to be specific about What Exact Flavor of Transmasc is the kind I’m willing to create or eat on the internet, which a. kills nuance and b. isn’t obligated to cater to me specifically.

Trans erotica played a large part in helping me accept myself and my sexuality as a trans person. Trans headcanon also tends to be close enough to home that engaging with it 80% of the time is not fun. I think, too, that headcanon doesn’t reflect your beliefs as a person; what matters is how you treat real actual people.

But yeah, sorry for going on for so long. I have terminal yapper disease LOL. Congratulations on the realization and I’m sorry about the breakdown, hope things get clearer and easier for you in the coming days :]

[pacifymebby]

Not an ask but I love how you and B are the perfect companions/partners/lovers. The way you talk about him is so romanic. Tell us your secret to love haha?

Aw bestie this is cute <3

I mean we're not the perfect couple, we do argue sometimes and its not always easy but i guess we do have a very calm and lovely little relationship.

I think a lot of it works just because we're well matched? Im a very anxious, over-thinker who struggles to stand up for herself. Im one of those vague wishy washy creatives that gets dubbed "too empathetic" and B is a very sturdy and earthy kind of boy, hes a logical thinker and although he has empathy he doesnt let people take the piss/knows how to stand up for himself. Like our differences make us fit together like a little jigsaw.

Hes also just really really kind and warm and like, just a really lovely boy. Wouldnt hurt a fly (litterally will not hurt any living creature, when he gets rid of spiders for me he picks them up so carefully and has whole conversations with them whilst hes taking them outside. He'll even pick a perfect spot to put them down as well) he a very pure man i guess haha.

I phoned him the other day when i was feeling super anxious and the minute i heard his voice i just immediately calmed down it was like a wave washing over me. And when i told him he couldnt even understand why he was just like "oh... Thats good im glad.." now every time he answers the phone he asks me "did it happen again?" like hes really proud of the fact its so cute.

Idk though i think relationships have to be about friendship and mutual respect, nothing is better than feeling both loved and respected, knowing someone cares about you in that way is very important and i think the only way you can have a healthy relationship.

I think sometimes falling in love with your best friend is actually the right thing to do and very much worth the risk.

This is definitely the happiest healthiest relationship ive ever had and i think its because the physical and sexual attraction came when we'd already been friends for like 2 years.

Idk, i guess some of its just nature and how we are, and i do kind of believe in soulmates and that everything in my life was leading me to meet him... But then also staying together and maintaining a loving relationship is about persevering and sticking it out through difficult patches.

B puts up with a lot of shit because i am very much not mentally well, and we do have differences of opinion/temperament and like expectations sometimes. So we both have to be determined you know?

Like i think maybe being determined to love is something important?

Sorry i feel like theres 0 advice or insight here and just me talking about how lovely B is haha