#wish we talked about it more: lillian deville | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

im-just-trying-to-get-bi · 3 years ago

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Charming: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's keep. For he was the bravest, and most handsome... in all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her-- [gasps] Big Bad Wolf: What? Charming: Princess... Fiona? Big Bad Wolf: No! Charming: Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? Big Bad Wolf: She's on her honeymoon. Charming: Honeymoon? With whom? So she said what's the problem, baby? What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love Think about it every time I think 'bout it Can't stop thinking 'bout it How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it, 'cause I can't ignore it If it's love, love Makes me wanna turn around and face me But I don't know nothing 'bout love Oh, come on, come on - Turn a little faster Come on, come on The world will follow after Come on, come on Everybody's after love So I said I'm a snowball running Running down into this spring that's coming all this love Melting under blue skies belting out sunlight Shimmering love Well, baby, I surrender To the strawberry ice cream Never ever end of all this love Well, I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love These lines of lightning mean we're never alone Never alone, no, no Come on, come on Jump a little higher Come on, come on If you feel a little lighter Come on, come on We were once upon a time in love Hyah! We're accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Accidentally in love I'm in love I'm in love It's so good to be home. Just you and me and... - Two can be as bad as one... - Donkey? Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed? Donkey, what are you doing here? Taking care of your love nest for you. Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants? - Yeah, and feeding the fish! - I don't have any fish. You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. I thought I'd move in with you. You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone. Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. - Donkey. - Yes, roomie? You're bothering me. Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway, so... Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. He'll be fine. Now, where were we? Oh. I think I remember. - Donkey! I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. What do you want me to tell these other guys? Enough, Reggie. "Dearest Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing... upon you and

your...uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. aka Mom and Dad." Mom and Dad? - Prince Charming? - Royal ball?! Can I come? - We're not going. - What?! I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this? Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too. Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. Stop it. They're not like that. How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance. To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? No! They just want to give you their blessing. Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? If you want to be a part of this family, yes! Who says I want to be part of this family? You did! When you married me! Well, there's some fine print for you! So that's it? You won't come? Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! Come on! We don't want to hit traffic! Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. - Hey, wait for me. Oof! Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yee-haw! - Are we there yet? - No. - Are we there yet? - Not yet. - OK, are we there yet? - No. - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet?! - We are not! - Are we there yet?! - Yes! - Really?! - No!! - Are we there yet? - That's not funny. That's really immature. - This is why nobody likes ogres. - Your loss! - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally! This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far... away! All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. Well, find a way to entertain yourself. For five minutes... Could you not be yourself... for five minutes?! Are we there yet?! - Yes! - Oh, finally! Wow! It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. Hey, good-looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. Halt! Well, I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it Hey, everyone, look. Talk about, talk about movin'... Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. Swimming pools! Movie stars! Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. Well, this is it. - This is it. - This is it. This is it. Uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. So... you still think this was a good idea? Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us. - Who on earth are they? - I think that's our little girl. That's not little! That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... Happy now? We came. We saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches. - They're my parents. - Hello? They locked you in a tower. That was for my own... Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. Harold, we have to be... Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... A disaster! There is no way... - You can do this. - I really... - Really... - don't... want... to... be... Here! Mom... Dad... I'd like you to meet my husband... Shrek. Well, um... It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. - Excuse me. Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona? That's good. I guess not. What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. - I had the hardest time finding this place. - No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down! No, Dad! It's all

right. It's all right. He's with us. - He helped rescue me from the dragon. - That's me: the noble steed. Waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed? Oh, boy. - Um, Shrek? - Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm! No, no. Darling. Oh! So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. Well... Shrek owns his own land. - Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies and... What?! I know you ain't talking about the swamp. An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? - indeed. I just started eating. - Harold! - What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great. OK? - For his type. Yes. - My type?! I got to go to the bathroom. - Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it. Bon appetite! Oh, Mexican food! My favorite. Let's not sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody, dig in. Don't mind if I do, Lillian. I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... Ogres. Yes! Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! Dad! No, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! - Shrek, please! - I only did that because I love her. Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. You wouldn't understand. You're not her father. It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. - Harold! - Shrek! - Fiona! - Fiona! - Mom! - Harold... Donkey! Your fallen tears have called to me So, here comes my sweet remedy I know what every princess needs For her to live life happily... Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. You're all grown up. - Who are you? - Oh, sweet pea! I'm your fairy godmother. - I have a fairy godmother? - Shush, shush. Now, don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. With just a... Wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone With a flick of the wrist and just a flash You'll land a prince with a ton of cash A high-priced dress made by mice no less Some crystal glass pumps And no more stress Your worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse Confide in your very own furniture friends We'll help you set a new fashion trend - I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great - The kind of girl a prince would date! They'll write your name on the bathroom wall... For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call! A sporty carriage to ride in style, Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle Banish your blemishes, tooth decay, Cellulite thighs will fade away And oh, what the hey! Have a bichon fris!' Nip and tuck, here and there to land that prince with the perfect hair Lipstick liners, shadows blush To get that prince with the sexy tush Lucky day, hunk buffet You and your prince take a roll in the hay You can spoon on the moon With the prince to the tune Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock-hard abs Cheese souffle, Valentine's Day Have some chicken fricassee! Nip and tuck, here and there To land that prince with the perfect hair Stop! Look... Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, but I really don't need all this. - Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway. - Fiona? Fiona? Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. Oh, uh... Fairy Godmother, furniture... I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. Your husband?! What? What did you say? When did this happen? Shrek is the one who rescued me. - But that can't be right. - Oh, great. More relatives! She's just trying to help. Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. - What?! - I don't want to leave. When did you decide this? - Shortly after arriving. - Look, I'm sorry... No. That's all right. I need to go, anyway. But remember, dear. If you should ever need me... happiness... is just a teardrop away. Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy... So I see. Let's go, Kyle. - Very nice, Shrek. - What? I told you coming here was a bad idea. You could've at least tried to get along with my father. I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, even if I did want it. Do you

think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... - Go on! Say it! - Like an ogre! Here's a news flash for you! Whether your parents like it or not... I am an ogre! And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change. I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. That's real smooth, Shrek. I'm an ogre! I knew this would happen. You should. You started it. I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me. I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. This is Fiona's choice. But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her. I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... thing? Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young? We used to walk down by the lily pond and... - they were in bloom... - Our first kiss. It's not the same! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster! Oh, stop being such a drama king. Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse! - Hello, Harold. - What happened? - Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! I'll just stretch it out here for a while. You better get in. We need to talk. Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to bed. Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, how about... we make this a quick visit. What? Oh, hello. Ha-ha-ha! So, what's new? You remember my son, Prince Charming?! ls that you? My gosh! It's been years. When did you get back? Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert... I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower... Mommy can handle this. He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower... And what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess... is already married. It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time. Stop the car! Harold. You force me to do something. I really don't want to do. Where are we? Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy! May I take your order? My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. Uh... Okay. Two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo... chili rings... - I'll have the Medieval Meal. - One Medieval Meal, and, Harold... - Curly fries? - No, thank you. - Sourdough soft taco, then? - No, really, I'm fine. Your order, Fairy Godmother. This comes with the Medieval Meal. There you are, dear. We made a deal, Harold. And I assume you don't want me to go back on my part. Indeed not. So, Fiona and Charming will be together. - Yes. - Believe me, Harold. It's what's best. Not only for your daughter... But for your Kingdom. What am I supposed to do about it? Use your imagination. Oh... Come on in, Your Majesty. I like my town With a little drop of poison Nobody knows... Excuse me. Do I know you? No, you must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. Ah! There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of. - Who's the guy? - Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... He's an ogre. Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be disturbed. he don't like to be disturbed. Where could I find him? Hello? Who dares enter my room? Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to about an ogre problem? You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money. Would... this be enough? You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre. Everyone says I'm getting down too low Everyone says you've just gotta let it go You just gotta let it go I need some sleep Time to put the old horse down I'm in too deep And the wheels keep spinning round Everyone says you've just gotta let it go Everyone says you've just gotta let it go Dear

Knight, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Dear Diary... Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while. Must be like some finishing school. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family, and we'll all live happily ever after. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. No. No. I was just reading a, uh... a scary book. I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier. - Okay... - I don't know what came over me. Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over... - Look, Your Majesty, I just... - Please. Call me. Dad. Dad. We both acted like ogres. Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other? Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. A little father-son time? I know it would mean the world to Fiona. Shall we say, Face it, Donkey! We're lost. We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. Head to the darkest part of the woods...Past the sinister trees with scary-looking branches.- The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey! - We passed that three times already! You were the one who said not to stop for directions. Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad and I end up lost in the woods with you! Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help. I know! I know. - I'm sorry, all right? - Hey, don't worry about it. I just really need to make things work with this guy. Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy. Well, well, well, Donkey. I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring? What? I ain't purring. Sure. What's next? A hug? Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am, some kind of a... Ha-ha! Fear me, if you dare! Look! A little cat. - Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! - It's a cat, Donkey. Come here, little kitty, kitty. Come on, little kitty. Come here. Oh! Come here, little kitty. - Whoa! - Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! - Come on! Get it off! Get it off! Oh, God. Oh... No! - Look out, Shrek! Hold still! - Get it off! Shrek! Hold still! - Did I miss? - No. You got them. Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from... Puss... In Boots! I'll kill that cat! Ah-ha-ha! Hairball. - Oh! That is nasty! What should we do with him? Take the sword and neuter him. Give him the Bob Barker treatment. Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Senor. I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this? The rich King? Si. Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing. Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you. Gee, thanks. Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming. That's what the King said. Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her. Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just... I just wish I could make her happy. Hold the phone... Happiness.A tear drop away.Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you! Man, where do I begin? First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going Pinata!! What is a pinata, anyway?! No, Donkey! I need you to cry! Don't go projecting on me. I know you're feeling bad, but you got to... Aaaahhh! You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of... What? Is it on? Is it on? This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client. But if you come by the office, we'll be glad to make you an appointment. Have a happy ever after. Oh... Are you up for a little quest, Donkey? That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on

another whirlwind adventure! Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move! - Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you. - Join the club. We've got jackets. On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine. The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek. Shrek? - Shrek! - Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him... In his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. - Let's keep him! - Say what?! Ahh! Listen. He's purring! - Oh, so now it's cute. - Come on, Donkey. Lighten up. Lighten up?! I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! Lighten up?! I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! Shrek! Shrek? They're both festive, aren't they? What do you think, Harold? Um... Yes, yes. Fine. Fine. Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball. Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it matters. How do we know there will even be a ball? Mom. Dad. - Oh, hello, dear. - What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming. Mom, have you seen Shrek? I haven't. You should ask your father. Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning. - Can I help you, Your Majesty? - Ah, yes! Um... Mmm! Exquisite. What do you call this dish? That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty. Ah, yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric. - Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek? - No, I haven't, dear. I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice... mud hole to cool down in. You know, after your little spat last night. Oh. You heard that, huh? The whole kingdom heard you. I mean, after all, it is in his nature to be... well, a bit of a brute. Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon. Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you. Shrek loves me for who I am. I would think you'd be happy for me. Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you. Maybe you should do the same. No, really? Shh... Oh... Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place. Let's back away slowly. That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage. She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom. Then why don't we pop in there for a spell? Ha-ha! Spell! He makes me laugh. Hi. I'm here to see the... The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in. Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now! Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. Look, she's not seeing any clients today. OK? That's OK, buddy. We're from the union. The union? We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign. Oh! Oh, right. Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed? Uh... a little. We don't even have dental. They don't even have dental. Okay, we'll just have a look around. Oh. By the way. I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. - Know what I'm saying? Huh? - Huh? Huh? Huh? - Stop it. - Of course. Go right in. A drop of desire. Naughty! A pinch of passion. And just a hint of... lust... Excuse me. Sorry to barge in like this... What in Grimm's name are you doing here? Well, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy. Oh-ho-ho! And there's some question as to why that is? Well, let's explore that, shall we? Ah. P, P, P... Princess. Cinderella. Here we are. Lived happily ever after.Oh... No ogres! Let's see. Snow White. A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres! Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No. The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... No, no, no, no, no! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after. All right, look, lady! Don't you point... those dirty green sausages at me! Your Monte Cristo and coffee. Oh! Sorry. Ah... that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother. Just... go. Come on, guys. TGlF, eh, buddy? Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac? Get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face! Man, that stinks! You don't exactly smell like a basket of roses. - Well, one of these has got to help. - I was just concocting this very plan! Already our minds are becoming one. Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on

licking ourselves, we'll give you a call. Shrek, this is a bad idea. Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch. Puss, do you think you could get to those on top? No problema, boss. In one of my nine lives, I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de Compostela. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Shrek, are you off your nut? Donkey, keep watch. Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside. I'll laugh, too. I'll be giggling to myself. - What do you see? - Toad Stool Softener? I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems. - Elfa Seltzer? - Uh-uh. - Hex Lax? - No! Try handsome.Sorry. No handsome. Hey! How about Happily Ever After? Well, what does it do? It says Beauty Divine. In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of creatures. Especially us talking ones. Donkey! That'll have to do. We've got company. Can we get on with this? Hurry! Nice catch, Donkey! Finally! A good use for your mouth. Come on! You spurn my natural emotions You make me feel like dirt and I'm hurt And if I start a commotion I run the risk of losing you and that's worse Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in love With someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with Fallen in love with Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up! And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate! - Mother! - Charming. Sweetheart. This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working. Whoa, what happened here? - The ogre, that's what! - What? Where is he, Mom? I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me! Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still going to be king. We'll just have to come up with something smarter. Pardon. Um... Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion. What? Oh... I do believe we can make this work to our advantage. Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine.- You both will be fine? - I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too. Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. Drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here. It says, Beauty Divine. How bad can it be? See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub over your chest, think again! Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you. Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. How do you feel? I don't feel any different. I look any different? You still look like an ass to me. Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. - Well, here's to us, Fiona. - Shrek? - You drink that, there's no going back. - I know. - No more wallowing in the mud? - I know. - No more itchy butt crack? - I know! - But you love being an ogre! - I know! I know. Shrek, no! Wait! Got to be... I think you grabbed the Farty Ever After potion. Maybe it's a dud. Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy. I'm melting! I'm melting! It's just the rain, Donkey. Oh. Don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. It'll be better in the morning. You'll see... The sun'll come out... Tomorrow Bet your bottom... Bet my bottom? I'm coming, Elizabeth! Donkey? Are you all right? - Hey, boss. Let's shave him. - D-Donkey?

There you are! We missed you at dinner. What is it, darling? Dad... I've been thinking about what you said. And I'm going to set things right. Ah! Excellent! That's my girl. It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. I'm going to go out and find him. And then we'll go back to the swamp where we belong. Fiona, please! Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now. Fiona! Look, I told you he was here. Look at him! Quiet. Look at him. Good morning, sleepyhead. Good morning! We love your kitty! Oh... My head... - Here, I fetched a pail of water. Thanks. Uhh! Aahh! Oh... A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm... I'm... - Gorgeous! - I'll say. I'm Jill. What's your name? - Um... Shrek. - Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? - You're tense. - I want to rub his shoulders. - I got it covered. - I don't have anything to rub. Get in line. Get in line. - Have you seen my donkey? - Who are you calling donkey? - Donkey? You're a... - A stallion, baby! I can whinny. I can count. Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting! That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff? Oh, don't take the potion, Mr. Boss, it's very bad.Pah! Warning: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. Not intended for heart patients or those with... nervous disorders.I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah! What? Senor? To make the effects of this potion permanent, the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight.Midnight? Why is it always midnight? - Pick me! I'll be your true love! - I'll be your true love. I'll be true... enough. Look, ladies, I already have a true love. Oh... And take it from me, Boss. You are going to have one satisfied Princess. And let's face it. You are a lot easier on the eyes. Inside you're the same old mean, salty... - Easy. - ...cantankerous, foul, angry ogre you always been. And you're still the same annoying donkey. - Yeah. Well... Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me. First things first. - We need to get you out of those clothes. - Ready? - Ready! - Driver, stop! Oh, God! Help me, please! My racing days are over! I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever play the violin again? You poor creature! ls there anything I can do for you? Well, I guess there is one thing. Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers. - Not bad. - Not bad at all. Father? ls everything all right, Father? Thank you, gentlemen! Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget. Oh, yeah Turn and face the strange Ch-Ch-Changes Don't wanna be a richer one Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Turn and face the strange Ch-Ch-Changes Just gonna have to be a different man Time may change me But I can't trace time Halt! Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her. Still don't know what I was looking for And my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets Every time I thought I'd got it made It seemed the taste was not so sweet - Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Turn and face the strange - Shrek? - Ch-Ch-Changes Don't wanna be a richer one Time may change me But I can't trace time Fiona? Hello, handsome. Shrek! - Princess! - Donkey? Wow! That potion worked on you, too? What potion? Shrek and I took some magic potion. And well... Now, we're sexy! Shrek? For you, baby... I could be. - Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek? He went inside looking for you. Shrek? Fiona! Fiona! You want to dance, pretty boy? Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife? Fiona? Shrek? Aye, Fiona. It is me. What happened to your voice? The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. But not the way I feel about you. Fiona? - Charming? - Do you think so? Dad. I was so hoping you'd approve. - Um... Who are you? - Mom, it's me, Shrek. I know you never get a second chance at a first impression, but, well, what do you think? Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! - Fiona! - Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho! Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon. Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough? I just wanted her to be happy. And now she can be. Oh, sweetheart. She's finally found the prince of her dreams.

But look at me. Look what I've done for her. It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek. She's a princess, and you're an ogre. That's something no amount of potion will ever change. But... I love her. If you really love her... you'll let her go. Shrek? Senor. What's going on? Where are you going? You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold? People just ain't no good I think that's well understood There you go, boys. Just leave the bottle, Doris. Hey. Why the long face? It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place. I hate Mondays. I can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that happened to you. What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming. Come on. ls he really that good-looking? Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels. - Oh. He sounds dreamy. - You know... shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. Look, guys. It's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins. Except for you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona. Aye. And that's why I have to let her go. Excuse me, is she here? She's, uh... in the back. Oh, hello again. Fairy Godmother. Charming. You'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold. Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming. - FYI, not my fault. - No, of course it's not, dear. I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay? - What? - You can't force someone to fall in love! I beg to differ. I do it all the time! Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming. - Umm... no. - What did you say? I can't. I won't do it. Oh, yes, you will. lf you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily. ls that what you want? ls it? - No. - Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. He's all high in the front. He can never get to the back. You need someone to do the back. Oh. Thank you, Mother. Mother? Um... Mary! A talking horse! The ogre! Stop them! Thieves! Bandits! Stop them! The abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at tonight's Far, Far Away Royal Ball blowout! The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them like Miss Muffet's curds and whey. Everyone who's anyone has turned out to honor Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. And, oh my, the outfits look gorgeous! Look! Hansel and Gretel! What the heck are the crumbs for? And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina! - Oh, aren't they adorable! Here comes Sleeping Beauty! Tired old thing. Who's this? Who's this? Who is this? Oh. It's the one, it's the only... It's the Fairy Godmother! Hello, Far, Far Away! Can I get a whoop whoop? May all your endings be happy and... Well, you know the rest! We'll be right back with the Royal Far, Far Away Ball after these messages. I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears. Flip over to Wheel Of Torture! I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona. Whizzes on you guys. Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing! No, to your left. Your left! - Tonight on Knights... - Now here's a good show! We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup. It's time to teach these madcap mammals their devil may care attitudes just won't fly. Why you grabbing me? Police brutality! I have to talk to Princess Fiona! - We warned you! - Ow! Ow! Did someone let the cat out of the bag? You capitalist pig dogs! - Catnip! - That's not mine. Find Princess Fiona! I'm a donkey! Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! Quick! Rewind it! I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow! Darling? Ah. I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball? I'm not going. The whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. There's just one problem. That's not my husband. I

mean, look at him. Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love. You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother. Change? He's completely lost his mind! Why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? You might find you like this new Shrek. But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad. I'd give anything to have him back. Darling. That's mine. Decaf. Otherwise I'm up all night. Thanks. I got to get out of here! I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have the right to remain silent! You have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity. I must hold on before l, too, go totally mad. Shrek? Donkey? Too late. Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here! Oh... Fire in ze hole! Look out below! Quick! Tell a lie! - What should I say? - Anything, but quick! Say something crazy like I'm wearing ladies' underwear!I am wearing ladies' underwear. - Are you? - I most certainly am not! It looks like you most certainly am are! - I am not! - What kind? - It's a thong! - Oww! They're briefs! - Are not. - Are too! - Are not! - Are too! Here we go. Hang tight. Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! Ow! - Excuse me? - What? Puss! Pardon me, would you mind letting me go? - Sorry, boss. - Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss! I thought you was going to let her go. I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona. Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around! It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle's guarded. There's a moat and everything! Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick. - What? - Do you still know the Muffin Man? Well, sure! He's down on Drury Lane. Why? Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour. Gingy! Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill! It's alive! Run, run, run, as fast you can! Go, baby, go! There it is, Mongo! To the castle! No, you great stupid pastry! Come on! Mongo! Down here! Look at the pony! That's right! Follow the pretty pony! Pretty pony wants to play at the castle! Pretty pony. Ladies and gentlemen. Presenting Princess Fiona and her new husband, Prince Shrek. Shrek, what are you doing? I'm just playing the part, Fiona. ls that glitter on your lips? Mm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste? - Ugh! What is with you? - But, Muffin Cake... C Minor, put it in C Minor. Ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to dedicate this song to... Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. Fiona, my Princess. Will you honor me with a dance? Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Dance! Where's the streetwise Hercules To fight the rising odds? Since when do you dance? Fiona, my dearest,if there's one thing I know, it's that love is full of surprises. Late at night I toss and I turn And I dream of what I need Hit it! I need a hero All right, big fella! Let's crash this party! Man the catapults! Aim! Fire! - Brace yourselves! - Ooh! Purty! Not the gumdrop button! Incoming! Ha-ha! All right! Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy Go, Mongo! Go! Man the cauldrons! After you, Mongo. - That's it! Heave-ho! - Watch out! Shrek! More heat, less foam! Up where the mountains Meet the heavens above Out where the lightning Splits the sea I could swear there is someone Somewhere watching me Heave! Ho! No...! Come on! Look out! - Be good. He needs me! Let me go! Donkey! Puss! Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go! Today, I repay my debt. Aww... On guard! He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh From the fight - I need a hero - Stop! - Hey, you! Back away from my wife. - Shrek? You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone. - Now! - Pigs und blanket! Pinocchio! Get the wand! I see London! I see France! Whah! I'm a real boy! Ah! Ah! Aaahhh! Catch! Donkey! Oh! I'm a real boy. Aah! Oh! - Ha! - Ah. That's mine! Pray for mercy, from Puss... And Donkey! She's taken the potion! Kiss her now! No! - Hi-ya! - Fiona. - Shrek. Harold! You

were supposed to give her the potion! Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea. - Mommy! - Mommy? I told you. Ogres don't live happily ever after. Woo! Ha! Oh, Dad! - ls he...? - Yup. He croaked. Harold? Dad? I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. - And he gave you a hard time! - Donkey! No, no, he's right. I'm sorry. To both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But I can see now... she already has it. Shrek, Fiona... Will you accept an old frog's apologies... and my blessing? Harold? I'm sorry, Lillian. I just wish I could be the man you deserve. You're more that man today than you ever were... warts and all. Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion! Midnight! Fiona. ls this what you want? To be this way forever? - What? - Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this. You'd do that? - For me? - Yes. I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... with the ogre I married. Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! Whoa! No. No, no. Aaah! Ow. Oh, no. Hey. You still look like a noble steed to me. Now, where were we? Oh! I remember. Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?! Uno, dos, quatro, hit it! Puss and Donkey, y'all... She's into superstitions Black cats and voodoo dolls - Sing it, Puss! - I feel a premonition That girl's gonna make me fall Here we go! She's into new sensations New kicks in the candlelight She's got a new addiction For every day and night She'll make you take your clothes off And go dancing in the rain She'll make you live her crazy life But she'll take away your pain Like a bullet to your brain Upside inside out Living la vida loca Hey gorgeous! Living la vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color of mocha She will wear you out - Living la vida loca - She livin' it loca! Living la vida loca - Say it one more time now! - Living the vida loca Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish! She'll push and pull you down Living la vida loca She will wear you out Living la vida loca Living la vida loca She'll push and pull you down Living the vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color of mocha She will wear you out Living la vida loca Living la vida loca Living la vida loca Living la vida loca All by myself All by myself Don't wanna be All by myself anymore... Amigo, we are off to the Kit-Kat Club. Come on, join us. Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood. We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! Hey, baby! Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? - I'm sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? - Papa! Look at our little mutant babies! I got to get a job. I got to get a job.

Omg

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hiddenpxpercuts · 6 months ago

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@devilsmenu [Anyone]

"It's back to soccer and trying to get my boyfriend to remember me after being freaking murdered." Lillian smiled. "So, yeah. Just a peachy week it has been for me."

#wish we talked about it more: lillian deville #death tw #memory loss tw

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hiddenpxpercuts · 1 year ago

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"i am also hoping the same thing. I am so not ready for another wave of crazy. how am I supposed to enjoy my new boyfriend if we're too scared to go out, you know?" lil sighed.

jenny let out a sigh, the thought of all that had been going on in this city already leaving her exhausted. "having been in this city for more than a year, i'm starting to realize that." the last few weeks were. clear proof of that. "hopefully we'll catch a break before the next wave of crazy hits."

#wish we talked about it more: lillian deville

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ramblingromance · 5 years ago

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Tagged by @literaryillusions to list ten of my favorite heroes and ten of my favorite heroines from romance novels. I always blank with posts like this, but I’m gonna try my best. These are not listed in any particular order, just the ones that came to the top of my head were listed first.

Favorite Heroes:

1. Sebastian St. Vincent, Devil in Winter: Perhaps a polarizing character for some, Sebastian is one of the ultimate reformed rakes in my opinion. (Maybe a tired trope, but a personal favorite of mine nonetheless.) While he tries to act cold and uncaring, he wants nothing but the best for his heroine pretty much the moment she steps foot into his life, becoming a better man in the process.

2. Vincent Hunt, The Arrangement: One of the biggest cinnamon roll heroes I have ever had the pleasure to read about, though not a surprise coming from Mary Balogh. Vincent is also probably one of the youngest heroes I have ever read about as well, and also lives with a disability after having been blinded during war.

3. Anthony Bridgerton, The Viscount Who Loved Me: The stuffy older brother archetype who is forcing himself not love due to past traumas, but oh does he love a whole hell of a lot, sucking out bee sting poison and all.

4. West Ravenel, Devil’s Daughter: This man right here had such sweet redemption arc, and it didn’t even happen in his own book! Bit of a reformed rake, charming and funny, also wonderful with children! He’s a catch.

5. Liam MacKenzie, The Highlander: My first Scottish hero, and he left quite the impression. He’s rough and brash, but goodness does he just adore his heroine. I don’t tend to like heroes that are super high on the alpha charts, but there’s something tender about Liam too, maybe where he’s already a father when we first meet him. Kerrigan Byrn’s stories tend to have an old school feel to them, and are often filled with very dark pasts and lots of drama, so just a fair warning now if you decide to pick this one up for yourself.

6. Chase Reynaud, The Governess Game: Ah, another devil may care character? What a surprise! Chase likes to keep his feelings in check due to past trauma, but the truth of the matter is, he feels, like a whole lot, and especially for those two charges he claimes he wants to be rid of.

7. Colin Bridgerton, Romancing Mister Bridgerton: Goofy, and seen as nothing but a smooth talking sort of fellow, Colin often wishes he were taken a bit more seriously. Funny and adventurous, his favorite things are his wife and food, in that order, though I’m sure his family makes the list somewhere in there too!

8. Leopold Daughtry, A Duke of Her Own: Known mostly as the Duke or Villiers, he is featured in every single one of Eloisa James’ books in her Desperate Duchesses series. Smooth talking, rakish, and also a bit of a matchmaker. Throughout the series he decides to start doing the right thing after decisions in his past begin to catch up with him.

9. Robert Blaisdell, The Duchess War: I need to read more from Courtney Milan, because I really liked her take on this particular hero. A radical duke trying to atone for the past sins of his family, oh, and refreshingly enough, he’s a virgin!

10. Andrew James Rokesby, The Other Miss Bridgerton: Knows how to Captain/Sail a ship, witty and a great person to have a conversation with, he also will take you on an adventure in Portugal and make sure you get to taste some delicious malasadas for yourself!

Favorite Heroines:

1. Evie Jenner, Devil in Winter: Seemingly a quiet and and shy wallflower with a stutter, she secretly has more sass and bite than she let’s on. Also has one of the biggest rakes wrapped around her little finger.

2. Sophia Fry, The Arrangment: Another quiet and unassuming young lady, she thinks pretty lowly of herself, but throughout the course of the story she gains strength and the ability to realize that she does deserve love.

3. Kate Sheffield, The Viscount Who Loved Me: a bit loudmouthed and always finding herself in some sort of trouble where her hero is concerned, she entertained me to no end, and I found I really wanted to be her friend. A wonderful older sister. Plus she owns a corgi!

4. Lillian Bowman, It Happened One Autumn: You either like her or you don’t, but I found I liked her very much. She’s brash, stubborn, and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. During the course of her book, I found she was making me laugh quite a bit.

5. Penelope Featherington, Romancing Mister Bridgerton: Often looked over, and having been pining over her best friends’s older brother for like...ever, Penelope has more wit than people give her credit for, as well as a very big secret.

6. Samantha Masters, The Scot Beds His Wife: A tough cowgirl from the Wild West, she finds herself in Scotland as she runs from her past and her problems, going toe to toe with her hero, who just so happens to be her very annoying, very Scottish neighbor.

7. Wren Heyden, Someone to Wed: Wren has spent most of her life as recluse due to a somewhat disfiguring blemish on her face, as well as a past filled with traumas. Her story of learning to accept herself, finding love, and face anxieties really spoke to me. I found myself crying during this one, which for me, can be a rare treat in a way.

8. Penelope Campion, The Wallflower Wager: Preferring the company of animals to that of people, aside from her choice of a few close friends, I found myself relating quite a bit to Penelope, while also being drawn to her sunny personality.

9. Constance Stonewell, The Earl I Ruined: Coming across as flighty to others, and seemingly only having interest in gossip and fashion, Constance actually has more wit than people give her credit for, as well as a big heart intent on helping others.

10. Jemma Duchess of Beaumont, This Duchess of Mine: Unabashedly scandalous, clever, and a hell of a good chess player. She’ll entice, intrigue, and entertain you even from her first appearance in the Desperate Duchesses series.

Okay, so there’s my list! I know there’s plenty I’m forgetting, maybe even some I like better who didn’t make it onto this list simply because my memory failed me. Either way, this is what I wrote up, and I’m sticking with it.

I’ll tag @thebooklrandtheduke, @natreadsromance @all-the-kissing-books @pollyssecretlibrary @sunnysaysbookreviews @mfred and anyone else who might like to participate! Also don’t the feel the pressure to do this if you don’t have the time, or if you’d just rather not.

#romance novels #romance heroes #romance heroines #tag games #romance friends #romance community #romancelandia #romance novel

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uncannychange · 6 years ago

Photo

Jane had done everything she could to get into the good graces of her mother in law, but Lillian Zhang would have nothing of it.

Her clothes were not right, the house she kept for her son was not right, she didn't feed her son right, she didn't do anything the right way for her precious youngest child.

No matter what theme the elder Mrs. Zhang took for her latest round of fault finding the former Jane Dillon was sure what it all boiled down to was that she couldn't deal with the fact that her little boy had married a fahn quai or that is a foreign or white devil.

While the whole large Zhang clan had adopted western first names, Lillian being "fahn quai" itself, after all, she made it clear that Jane's Don Zhang was Zhang Guoping Yan, well not in so many words, but that was what Jane was sure Lillian's scrutinizing was about, "not taking care of him like he needs" indeed thought Jane.

Of course like any modern American couple Jane didn't "take care of her husband" any more than he took care of her, they took care of themselves doing it together in the same place while sharing the expenses, Don Zhang was a rising executive in a company that manufactured medical equipment, while Jane was a registered nurse at a teaching hospital.

So they were a modern couple, and her mother in law didn't like her one bit and made herself quite the pill about it. Why not, like so many other modern American couples didn't she ignore the older woman for most of the year other than holidays and let her stew in her own juices while they lived their lives apart?

Two simple reasons, they lived less than a mile from her husband's parents, and Don, to be honest about it, was more than a bit of a mama's boy.

Jane's was not an uncommon problem, nor one that anything could be done about other than deal with it as best she could, that at least was the attitude Jane took until word started to spread among the medical staff at the hospital of a new surgical team who had transferred their major procedures to the facility where she worked, It wasn't long before everyone was abuzz about the three doctors and their unique clientele.

Doctor's Bell, Book & Candall where plastic surgeons, hardly a rare breed in that part of the country, these three, did procedures that, as far a Jane knew, no other surgeons performed.

While there were thousands who performed the operation that make Asians look more western, these doctors did the opposite, and not only that they had also perfected some other techniques for changing the shape of chins, noses, cheeks, brows and the whole architecture of faces so that at the end the recipient, most of whom were of European descent like her, were, as far as the eye could tell, of Chinese, Japanese or East Indian descent, It was held that even natives of those lands couldn't tell one of their patients, though born of Irish, Italian or Spanish genes, from a native of their country.

Jane had a whim to check this out further, to see mind you. Getting an appointment with the originator of most of the procedures Doctor Bell himself Jane's lark started to take on a more substance in her mind.

Seeing the professional atmosphere of the well-appointed offices, seeing other normal-seeming people in the waiting room, it all started to seem less and less like a lark and more like something that she might actually consider doing.

The tipping point for Jane came with her talk with Dr. Bell, after examining her, and taking a photo he showed what most likely would be the results of his operating based on her bone structure & musculature.

The computer showed someone who was still very much Jane, only a Jane who seemed to have one parent who was Chinese, not all that much of a difference, and yet so very different!

"Now I can't promise this is exactly how you would look," explained Dr. Bell "there are always things that we can't expect." Jane didn't care,

the idea appealed to her more and more. like that Jane's lark became her getting things started, first, of course, there was a psychological exam, which Jane passed & before even she knew it she was signing the papers and getting a time set for her surgery.

Then there was her husband, "you want to have surgery to make you look Chinese?" asked Don, "not exactly Chinese" she replied, "this is just like those Asian women who have their eyes operated on to look... wider, this will make me look so much better, it's not that big a deal."

What Jane didn't tell her husband was that what she was anticipating was the look on mother in laws face when she saw Jane's new look, the women got under her skin that much.

Her husband accustomed to the idea, and sworn to secrecy when the time came Jane took time off work and reported to be prepared for surgery.

Never having had plastic surgery herself Jane didn't know what to expect, but, It seemed much like any other medical procedure, though Doctor Bell and his staff did seem to spend a lot of time emphasizing how, despite his tests, years of experience, planning and his and her best expectations, there was still no guarantee how the end results would look, Jane attributed this to common plastic surgeon caution in an era of high litigation, Jane found herself in the operating room surrounded by doctor Bell, nurses, gas passers, & various attendants & interns, counting backward under the gas mask she faded to black.

She awoke in a hospital room, her head swathed in bandages, before too long various people came in to take blood, ask her how she was doing, take more blood, even doctor Bell made a brief appearance to assure her the operation went even better than had been expected, to wish her well, and check the little space on her charts that said he had entered the room and so was entitled to more money.

Her last two visitors that day were an intern who detailed the care and feeding of her wrappings & her husband who took her home.

Then came the pain, and the itching and swelling, and the weeks of waiting. As the time came to take off the bandages, Jane aware from her work as a nurse what that would be like decided to spare her husband the view, along with her viewing him viewing the bruised early stages.

Returning to the doctor's offices alone for the unveiling which showed her to be even more swollen and bruised than she had imagined, Bell, said things were on their way to settling in very nicely for her new look.

Be that as it may, Jane still didn't want anyone she knew to see her until she had healed. So after leaving the doctor, she headed to a hotel room to rest, and let nature take its course.

The hotel was a nice place for some off time, with great room service and it's own 4-star spa/salon.

Within a week the swelling and bruises were almost gone, at the end of a week, you couldn't tell she had had any plastic work on her face at all.

But before that Jane became aware of what the result would be, doctor Bell had said there was no guarantee what the results would be, but she had not expected anything like what she saw in her room's mirror.

The face was nothing at all like computer's guess, she barely recognized herself at all, she had the same dark auburn hair, and the same green eyes, but the hair surrounded, and the eyes looked out of the face of a woman who was not only Chinese but a Chinese woman distinctly of the Han ethnic group.

"Holy mackerel, I'm Chinese!" said Jane to herself rubbing her face as if to prove the image in the mirror was for real. "Nothing to do but go home and drop the bomb," she told her new self as if talking to someone she had meet, "but first, in for a penny, in for a pound."

Jame made another visit to the salon and had her hair dyed black, along with a new style, parted down the middle, an application of White Camellia Oil, gave it a shine she approved of

Her husband was at a loss for words. "Honey.... you look..... fantastic..." he said, even he hearing the flatness of his tone.

"fantastic..... fantastic! Really really Fan! Tas! Tic!" a long pause came from him, then a curious look "you know you look a little like my cousin Kuan, she's a flight attendant for Taiwan Air.... you're taller.

He was shocked, after all marrying a Caucasian American woman had been a big step for him and had colored quite a lot of his life, to now find he was not only married to a woman who likes a hometown girl would take some adjusting, "Jane looks more Chinese than most of the hometown girls!" Don thought to himself. "We'll have to get you a Chinese name to go with your new look he told her."

But that would have to wait, because, as Jane had timed it, whether she knew it or not, she would be able to reveal her new look at the annual Zhang family Thanksgiving get together, a function she had in her first 3 years of going to stand out at.

Arriving, Jane dressed in a traditional Qi Pao dress, made quite the impression, after that is it was established that Don was not stepping out on her with another woman.

The reactions ranged from agast to suppressed surprise, to two who asked for the phone number of the doctor.

Then came the big moment, finding out her mother in law was alone in her bedroom fixing her hair Jane went to see her all by herself. Knocking and entering Jane found her still fiddling with a comb that did not look like it needed any fiddling with.

Mrs. Zhang... Lillian... It's me, Jane, I've got a bit of a surprise for the family this year, you need to turn around" The older woman did, her habitual disapproving look already in place.

Looking at Jane it slipped for a moment as her eyes widened on seeing her. There was a long pause, then she said. "You're wearing a Qi Pao again, huuua, that's for old fashion ladies, get with the times' girl, my boy is a big-time businessman, he needs a modern woman, you got to dress

Stepping closer to look with amazement at Lillian Zhang's refection Jane came to two conclusions. one, her mother in law didn't really care whether she was western or Chinese, she was just one of those women who didn't think there was any woman good enough for her son, and two by damn the old woman had had plastic surgery herself as Jane notice for the first time the woman's eyes had creases in them making them look Western, now the oh so unworthy American wife looked more Chinese then her mother in law!

"Damn!" thought Jane turning around and stomping out the room "I should have asked for the Japanese look, that would have shown her!"

#race change #short story #turning chinese #new face

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hysterialevi · 6 years ago

Text

When the Devil Cries pt. 5

Author’s note: Some more moments between Arthur and Eddie in this part! Hope you enjoy :)

From Arthur’s POV

THE BASTILLE

Letting ourselves into the lazy saloon, Eddie and I made a beeline straight for the back as the same bartender greeted us, recognizing our faces while he cleaned the bar with a rag.

The saloon was still full of the same pretentious pricks from the last time I was here, and the further I made my way into the fancy building, the more their eyes seemed to be stuck on me and my sad attempt of putting together an outfit that was actually decent.

Heh, still looked better than them, though.

“Welcome back, Eddie!” The bartender exclaimed. “And you too, mister. What’ll it be for you folks today?”

The pianist slid some money across the surface. “Two beers, please.”

“Comin’ right up.” He reached under the bar and popped two caps off with a soft hiss, placing a pair of bottles in front of us as we enjoyed our drinks.

“Say, Mister Ryan,” the man continued, “how’s your work at the theater going?”

Eddie took a sip. “It’s going well, thankfully. At the moment, I’m preparing for a show.”

“That’s good.” The bartender tugged his head towards the saloon’s piano. “Y’know, if you’re ever lookin’ for more work, our pianist’s thinking of quittin’ his job soon. He’s planning to move out somewhere in the country. Wants a more...‘laid-back’ lifestyle, he said.”

I let out a boisterous laugh at that. “Hah! Laid-back...”

Eddie considered the offer. “If I ever find the time to do it, I’d certainly love to play here. Lord knows I could use the money.”

The bartender smiled. “Excellent. Well, I’ll leave you boys to your drinks. Have a fine day now, y’hear?”

“Thanks, mister,” Eddie replied. “You too.”

Turning to face me now that the man was gone, the young musician took a breath and barely opened his mouth to say somethin’ before someone else was calling out his name, interrupting us for a second time. Jesus. And people wondered why I weren’t much of a social butterfly.

“Eddie Ryan?” A woman asked. “Mister Ryan, is that you, darling?”

Peeking behind the boy’s figure to see who was talking to him, I spotted none other than Lillian Powell herself sitting in the same place as before, comfortable as always while makin’ sure the rest of the saloon wasn’t.

“Oh, Miss Powell,” Eddie greeted, clearly not particularly pleased to see her. “Starting the day off with a drink, eh?”

She let out a puff of smoke from her mouth. “Indeed. Same as you, evidently.” Lillian moved her gaze to me, her eyes narrowing. “And I see you brought the cowboy with you.”

Eddie glanced at me. “Oh, him? He’s just a friend of mine. We met recently.”

“Is that so?” She said with an...almost jealous expression. “Are you planning on taking him to the gala later this week?”

The young man quirked a brow, turning to me. “I don’t know. What do you think, Arthur? Would you like to come with me?”

Well, finding a way into that gala was certainly easier than I anticipated. I gave Eddie a nod.

“...Sure,” I answered with a shrug. “Why not?”

Lillian took a drag, huffing out another cloud. Though I couldn’t tell if the smoke comin’ out of her nose was due to the cigarette or annoyance.

“I suppose I’ll make an invitation for your friend, then. I look forward to seeing you there, Eddie. The gala will certainly be a night to remember with your piano-playing skills.”

The musician chuckled gently. “Thank you, Miss Powell. I look forward to attending.”

She smirked in a flirtatious manner. “You should, darling. It’s going to be quite the ball. There will be tons of people as well as music, drinks, and of course the chance of witnessing a drunken brawl. Mister Daniels and Robinson still aren’t over the fight they had at the last gala. I’m sure you remember that, yes?”

Eddie laughed at the memory. “How could I forget?”

Practically chugging the rest of his beer down in an attempt to escape the endless conversations, the pianist placed the empty bottle down and stood back from the bar, straightening his coat.

“Well, it was nice to see you again, Miss Powell,” he lied, “but I’m afraid I must get going. I’m on a...rather tight schedule today.”

“Oh, okay,” she said with a pout. “Take care of yourself, Eddie. Alright? Don’t stress yourself too much. I know how hard you work.”

Eddie sighed. “I wish I had the option. Anyways, good day, Lillian. I hope to bump into you at the gala. Until then, farewell.”

The boy brought his attention back to me with an expression on his face that screamed “help,” beckoning me out the saloon as I finished my own drink.

“Ready to go, Arthur?” He asked. I set down the bottle, walking next to him.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Good,” he replied in a relieved tone. “Then let’s get going.”

Shoving me out of the Bastille, Eddie and I took a huge breath of fresh air the minute we stepped outside, both of us glad to be away from the grandiose atmosphere of the saloon. And also to distance ourselves from that wretched woman.

“You are quite the popular feller, ain’t you?” I joked.

“Sadly, yes,” he said. “But in Saint Denis, fame brings you money. And right now, I need it. Still, it was kind of you to join me for a drink...even if it did last for about two seconds. Will you be heading off now?”

I whistled for my horse, watching the streets as my companion steadily trotted her way towards me.

“Yeah. As you know, I ain’t really much for big cities, and...I’ve got a few things I need to take care of.”

“Ah, I see,” Eddie responded, sounding a tad disappointed. “Well, it was fun running into you again, Arthur. Sometimes it feels like you’re the only man not wearing a mask in this city.”

Oh, if only he knew.

Giving my horse a welcoming pat on the neck, I mounted the majestic creature and secured my feet in the stirrups before taking hold of the reins, admittedly somewhat sad to leave Eddie behind as I reminded myself I had a job to do.

Then again...it was still rather early in the morning, and I had already completed my task of finding a way inside the gala, which was more luck than skill, to be honest...but maybe there wasn’t any need to part ways just yet.

I glanced down at the lonely pianist, coming up with a last-minute idea.

“Y’know what, Eddie,” I proposed, “you’ve been showin’ me around Saint Denis these past couple o’ days. Why don’t I give you a peek of the world outside the city? Show you what else is out there.”

The boy looked up at me with a hint of hope in his big eyes.

“...You’d do that?”

I shrugged in a relaxed manner. “Sure. Everyone needs to get out once in a while, and I’ve spent enough time here, I think. Why don’t you come with me? Explore the country for a bit? We won’t be gone for long. Just enough to catch our breaths.”

Eddie was obviously excited, but displayed some hesitance.

“...I-I’d...love to.”

“Heh. Don’t be shy,” I reassured him, patting my horse. “She can be a little skittish ‘round strangers, but she’ll warm up to you soon enough. C’mon.”

I reached a firm hand out, helping Eddie onto the mount as he tried to get used to the height.

“You good?” I checked.

“Yeah...” he answered, his voice soft with uncertainty. I didn’t think Eddie realized he had wrapped his arms around my waist. But I didn’t mind.

“Alright,” I tightened my grip on the reins, “I’d suggest you hold on, then. This girl can go fast. Hyah!”

OUTSIDE SAINT DENIS

A WHILE LATER

Galloping as if there was no tomorrow, I bolted through the open fields hugging the city as Eddie held onto me for dear life, the force of the breeze ruffling his hair up a bit.

Out here, I felt so free. I didn’t have to endure the irritating chaos of Saint Denis’ coal-driven factories, greedy merchants, whistle-blowing lawmen, or the constant chatter of a thousand strangers.

Out here, it was just me...and Eddie. Ridin’ our way through endless miles of meadows and smooth hills as we glided towards the mountains towering in the distance. It made me feel so small -- so insignificant...and I loved every minute of it.

Snapping the reins out of excitement, I urged my horse to run faster as her heavy breath quickened and Eddie’s grasp strengthened around me, making me laugh on the inside. The boy certainly knew his way around the city -- I’d give him that -- but it looked like this was his first time ever settin’ foot into nature.

Well, I guessed it was my turn to show him the ropes, for once.

Sprinting across a small stream, I began heading for one of my favorite spots in this area as droplets of cool water splashed onto us, giving me a much-needed sense of refreshment. There wasn’t a single person in sight, and the only company we had at the moment was the dozens of different species scrambling through the untouched land, including groups of rabbits that would always scramble underneath me every once in a while.

I had to admit...I was enjoying myself with Eddie. It wasn’t too often that I got to travel with a friend like this, and it was even more rare that I actually had a friend in the first place.

But spending time with Eddie...it made me feel at peace. I never experienced the same sort of tension with him as I did when speaking to others -- even Dutch -- and it was always so exhilarating to be around him. He passed no judgements. Made no assumptions. Cared nothin’ for where I came from, or who I was. All that mattered to him...was what I did.

Taking a sharp turn into the woods, I led Eddie through a thick grove of trees as spots of sunlight danced on the dirt road beneath us, and leaves rained from the canopy of branches above. There were all sorts of insects and birds flyin’ along with us, and the further I rode, the more Eddie’s arms relaxed around me.

The boy no longer seemed tense or held back by fear. Instead, he looked just as content as I was and brought his gaze to the sky, unable to hide the blissful smile that shined on his face as he watched the deer prancing at our side.

I was...I was happy that I brought him out here. It had been so long since I had someone like this in my life, and I sure as hell didn’t expect to find another in Saint Denis.

At first glance, that city looked like nothing but a dreadful, cramped cesspit to me, and I remembered being annoyed at Dutch for makin’ me search through the place.

But after meeting a man such as Eddie, it only made me wonder what else Saint Denis was hiding beneath its surface. I always assumed it was the same as any other city, and had it pegged for a nest of corruption...but I guessed it weren’t all bad. Not if Eddie was there.

Finally reaching the spot I had been searching for, my horse suddenly slowed down to a halt once we found ourselves at a section of the Kansas River. We were surrounded by tall, beautiful trees, a seemingly never ending stretch of clear water, and the early sun hovered above us as its beams broke through the white clouds. To me, it was paradise.

“Here we are,” I announced, turning around to pat Eddie’s shoulder. “Ain’t it just the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?”

The boy slowly gazed around in awe, his mouth dropping open with wonder as he took in the world around him. There was a look of inspiration in his emerald eyes, and the longer he stared at the view in front of him, the less he knew what to say.

“...Oh my...God...” he whispered. “I...I may never go back home.”

I chuckled lightly at his response, a little amazed myself at how gorgeous this place was. I had wasted so much time worrying and stressing and constantly thinking about the gang that...I forgot to just stop for a minute, and take a damn breath. It was...a nice change of pace.

“I come here a lot,” I explained. “It’s just...one of those places, y’know. Makes you feel separated from...the rest of the world. I like it here.”

Eddie agreed. “I can see why. I almost feel as if Saint Denis doesn’t even exist anymore. That city seems like it’s an eternity away now.”

Slipping my feet out of the stirrups, I turned around to face the pianist.

“Here,” I said, “lemme help you down.”

Preparing to hop off, my horse suddenly let out an alarmed neigh before I could do anything and began rearing wildly, causing both me and Eddie to tumble onto the ground as I rolled around in the dirt, whirling in confusion.

“What the--?” Eddie blurted out, somewhat dazed from what just happened. “What’s going on?”

A nearby growl answered the question for me.

Prowling towards us with a hungry glare in its eyes, a lone wolf stealthily approached me and Eddie, its paws just barely kissing the ground as if it were getting ready to jump. It didn’t look like there were any others around, and this one was still relatively far away. I raised a calming hand, attempting to make sure neither the wolf nor Eddie made any sudden moves.

“...Whoa, there...” I warned, subtly reaching for my gun, “...easy, boy...”

The wolf continued to creep in my direction, showing no signs of leaving. The last thing I wanted to go trigger-happy in the middle of the wilderness where god-knows-what was roamin’ around, but I also didn’t wanna see my newest friend get eaten alive.

Whipping out my revolver, I fired a few warning shots just next to the beast and scared it off while Eddie stayed back.

“Go on!” I shouted. “Get! Leave us alone!”

The wolf instantly turned on its heel and let out a frightened whimper, scurrying away before it disappeared into the distant forests. I didn’t hear any other howls or see any signs of other beasts lurking in the area, and so far, no one seemed hurt.

I let out a sigh of relief, checking on Eddie.

“There it goes. You alright?”

The boy rose up from the gravelled ground, patting dirt off him.

“Yeah...I’m okay,” he confirmed, slightly shaken. “You look like you’ve dealt with your fair share of wolves before.”

I holstered my gun, scoffing. “Too many times. I had to save one of my idiot friends from an entire pack of ‘em once. Bastard got more than a few scars to remind him to stay the hell away. Just glad I could save you, too. Oh, and uh...sorry ‘bout the clothes.”

Eddie looked down at his stained coat, chuckling in amusement. “Yes, it seems every time we cross paths, I always end up covered in mud. No worries, though. At least they aren’t blood stains. Thank you, by the way. I’d probably be dead now if you hadn’t been here.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Walking over to my horse, I carefully approached the spooked animal before giving her a comforting rub on the neck, attempting to calm her nerves as she whinnied nervously.

“Shhh...” I whispered softly. “Easy, girl. You’re alright. There ain’t nothin’ can hurt you now. You’re okay.”

I reached into my satchel to feed her a quick snack, only to realize the accessory was missing from my person when my hand touched air.

I backed away from the horse, glancing around as I searched for the damned thing.

“The hell? Where’s my satchel? Agh...it must’ve dropped somewhere when we were bucked off.”

Eddie pointed to a bag on the ground along with a number of items scattered next to it and knelt down, closely examining them. They must’ve fallen out when the satchel’s flap came loose.

“Is this it?” He asked, taking an open book into his hands. “Here, let me...help...”

The boy’s voice faltered out of nowhere and he paused mid-sentence, causing me to cock my head in curiosity as he took a sudden interest in the book.

“...What is it?” I urged, throwing a casual glance in his direction, only to damn-near have a heart attack.

Eddie had found my journal.

...And he was now staring at the portrait I made of him.

Christ, out of all the drawings, it had to open on that page?

Slowly standing up from the ground, Eddie mindlessly continued to examine the quick sketch as his eyes nailed themselves to the drawing, his face covered with amazement.

“...Arthur...” he breathed out, “...did you...did you draw this?”

I waved a dismissive hand, trying to change the subject.

“Ah, it’s nothing. I just...make doodles sometimes. Of places I’ve been to, things I’ve seen...people I’ve met.”

Eddie chuckled in an impressed manner. “What do you mean, it’s nothing? Arthur, this is incredible. I had a feeling you were an artist, but I didn’t expect this. It looks...just like me.”

I scratched the back of my head, my cheeks startin’ to feel a bit heated. Oh, good lord-- was I actually blushin’ like some flustered adolescent? I couldn’t believe it. What a goddamned fool I was.

Clearing his throat, the boy hurriedly closed the journal when he noticed my awkward behavior and handed it back to me, averting his gaze out of embarrassment.

“Erm -- I’m sorry,” Eddie apologized. “I didn’t mean to be intrusive. It’s just, you have a lot of skill, and I’ve...well, I’ve never known anyone who could draw like that.”

Calming down slightly, I stared at the portrait for a moment before peering at the musician, biting my lip in thought.

“...You wanna keep it?” I offered. His expression lit up with gratitude.

“...Could I?”

“Sure,” I replied, carefully tearing the sheet out. “I can always make another.”

Eddie gently took the drawing into his grasp, holding it as if it would break at any moment.

“I...thank you, Arthur. I really appreciate this. I’ll keep it close, I promise.”

The young man slipped the piece of paper into his coat, making sure it was secure before giving me a little smirk.

“What?” I said, chuckling.

“Oh, nothing...” he teased. “I just knew you weren’t as rough as you acted. Though I suppose it’s good that you least know how to act in the first place. Many other people -- like myself -- are clueless in the wilderness. You must think me quite the city buffoon.”

I laughed with a shrug, leaning against a nearby tree.

“Well...that’s the thing,” I said. “You don’t have to act out here. This is all nature. There are no pretenses, no masks, no guessing. Just one rule: treat the Earth right, and she’ll treat you right back. Most o’ the time, anyway...”

Eddie gazed into the woods, looking at where the wolf from before ran off to.

“I can see why people say it’s dangerous now. We haven’t even been out here for an hour yet, and already we’ve been attacked by something.”

“It’s really not so bad,” I reassured, patting my holster, “so long as you know how to defend yourself.”

An idea struck me. “Um...do you?”

The boy shook his head. “I can throw a punch well enough, but...I’m useless with a gun.”

I pushed myself off the tree. “Well then, lemme show you how to use one. I’d sleep better knowing you could. But first, we’ll need somethin’ to aim at...”

Searching the place for a target, I suddenly remembered that I had some empty bottles of Guarma Rum in my saddlebag and began digging through the seemingly bottomless pit, fumbling for them before yanking them out.

“Here,” I presented. “These’ll do.”

Pacing around while Eddie watched me, I decided to put the bottles on a tall-enough boulder just by the water as I set them down next to each other, stepping backwards once they were in position.

I unholstered my gun, beckoning the other man to come closer to me.

“Alright,” I said, “I ain’t much of a teacher, but I’ll shoot one, show you what I know...and then we’ll see if you can hit the other. Sound good?”

Eddie gulped. “Sure...I guess. You’re the expert here.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll do fine.”

I aimed the revolver at one of the bottles. “Okay, so what you wanna do is...just make sure you got a firm grip on the gun, but don’t lock your arms. Keep your hands steady, align the sights with whatever it is you’re tryin’ to shoot, take a breath...and...” I fired the gun, instantly shattering the bottle into a pile of shards, “...shoot on the exhale. Got all that?”

The pianist still appeared a tad uneasy. “...I think so.”

“Good,” I handed the gun to him. “Now you try it.”

Hesitantly taking the revolver from me, Eddie gripped the weapon with both hands and took aim, his brows furrowed in concentration. I sauntered behind the boy, doing my best to guide him.

“Steady...” I reminded him. “And brace yourself. The recoil has more of a kick than you’d expect. Takes beginners by surprise sometimes, heh.”

Following my instructions, Eddie breathed in like I told him to and fired on the exhale, only to end up shooting the rock below the bottle.

“Okay...not too bad for a first try,” I encouraged. “Why don’t you give it another shot? See if you can hit the bottle.”

Pulling the hammer down, Eddie prepared another bullet and readied himself before pointing the gun once more, doing the same as he did before. The man seemed less afraid of the weapon this time, and the sense of uncertainty was gone from his determined stare.

Perhaps I’d make a gunslinger outta him yet.

“Alright...let’s try this again.”

I decided to give him a little more help on the second attempt and used my hands to position his own, pushing his arms out so they were extended farther.

“Try aiming a bit lower...” I suggested, gently holding him in place. I couldn’t deny that my heart was beating faster than before.

“Now, remember...relax. Don’t think too much about it. Just aim, breathe in, and...”

Eddie fired a second bullet with a thunderous bang, causing the bottle to blast into a dozen broken pieces. He gasped in surprise.

“Oh!” He exclaimed happily, his voice energized with disbelief. “I...I did it! I actually did it! I hit the bottle!”

I laughed along with him, proudly patting his back.

“See? You ain’t such a buffoon, after all.” I rested my elbow on his shoulder, giving him a wink. “Well...maybe a bit.”

Eddie tittered, returning the gun to me as he looked in my eyes. “Fair enough. Thank you, Arthur. I mean it. You’ve...you’ve shown me so much already within these past two days. I’m glad I met you.”

I smiled at him. “Me too. How’s about we get you back to Saint Denis first, pay a visit to the gunsmith...and buy you your very own weapon? You shouldn’t need it in the city, but it never hurts to be armed.”

He nodded in acceptance. “I’d like that. But...could we spend some more time out here first? The day is still young and, well, to be frank...I don’t want to go back.”

“The country’s growin’ on you, is it?”

Eddie grinned. “It might just be. Even with the wolves.”

“Ohh, don’t you worry. Saint Denis has plenty of its own wolves. They just ain’t as cute.”

“That’s true,” he agreed. “Just wish I could skin them as well.”

A chortle escaped me. “I knew I liked you for a reason. Now c’mon.” I mounted my horse, gesturing for Eddie to join me. “There’s still a lot for you to see out there. You ever been to the Elysian Pool?”

The musician grabbed my hand and lifted himself up, wrapping his arm around my waist again. “No, I don’t believe I have.”

I tapped my spurs into the horse’s side. “Well, you will have now. It’s just north of here. I think you’ll like that area. The people there ain’t the friendliest, but the waterfall is somethin’ to behold. Now, let’s get going.”

Breaking into a sprint, Eddie and I continued our journey across the vibrant land as the sun finally reached its peak in the sky, warming up the world below with a cozy embrace.

I honestly wasn’t expecting to be out here this long, and Dutch was probably wondering where I had gone by now, but the more time I spent with Eddie, the less I wanted to return to camp or Saint Denis.

Being with that boy was like shuttin’ the rest of the universe out, and at the moment, that was exactly what I needed. So much shit was always happening with the gang whether it involved the O’Driscolls, the Pinkertons, or just arguing within the camp. Barely anyone there could stand each other now, and even Dutch and Hosea seemed to be drifting apart.

I just...couldn’t stay there. It always left me in such a sour mood. Gave me this constant sense of anger -- even more so than usual.

It...it just felt nice to finally have someone I could relax with. Someone who wasn’t part of the mess that I called my family. Who hadn’t been damaged by the world yet.

I only hoped I could protect him.

After all, I was probably the least safe person to be around in these parts, considering all the people hunting me down...but I just couldn’t bring myself to push Eddie away. He was the best thing I’d found out here so far, and...I was actually starting to like him a bit too much. The same way I used to like Mary.

It was a foolish dream to pursue, I knew. Eddie deserved someone far better than me, and I wasn’t meant for a life like that.

Though, I also couldn’t deny the feeling of joy I experienced around him. Just seein’ his face alone was enough to wipe away my worries. ...He did that unlike anyone else I knew.

I supposed, for right now, I’d just flow along with it and see what happened. Our current relationship seemed harmless enough, and I certainly didn’t mind being friends with Eddie...but the minute Dutch finished robbing Saint Denis of all its money, I’d have to let him go. Whether I liked it or not.

It was the last thing I wanted, and I wished I could just stay with him, but I couldn’t put Eddie’s life in danger. Not like that. Being close to me was too much of a risk, and he didn’t deserve to live with that kind of fear.

He deserved happiness.

Something that I was, and would forever be incapable of giving.

#red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #eddie ryan #oc #fanfic #story

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rainbowsxunicorns · 8 years ago

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Lena Luthor Appreciation Week - Day: When you started loving Lena

I started loving Lena during 2x08. I know that’s kinda late but let me explain. :) Okay you guys, I get how everyone loved Lena the moment they knew Katie Mcgrath was gonna portray her, or how everybody loved Lena right after her first scene during 2x01. I get it. Katie Mcgrath was perfect for the role. And the way Lena Luthor talked about being adopted, about Lex, and trying to make a name outside of her family, it was just everything. And that’s when I immediately shipped Supercorp. They had me at ‘and who are you exactly?’. I should probably say I started loving her when she and Winn did their science thing under the table in the gala or when she helped Kara with the alien fight club but No that wasn’t it. Despite shipping Supercorp back then to death, there was something about Lena I couldn’t quite figure out. But when this scene above happened...

“ I thought you were different. You wear that symbol on your chest and everyone thinks youre good. How many times did your cousin put that high and mighty costume and come after Lex? My mother is no saint but you come in here and accuse her of being the devil incarnate, how long before you come after me?”

This is when I exactly fell in love with Lena Luthor. Not because of her chemistry with Kara, not because of Supercorp, not because of Katie Mcgrath but because of how complex her character is. Before 2x08, Lena was always portrayed as someone who was trying to step out of the shadows of her family. Everyone doubted her intentions. Before 2x08, Lena always made sure she was the best version of herself. Letting everyone see nothing but the good in her. And she was. But to every coin, there is always two sides. and in this scene we get to see that. We get to see the negative feelings Lena had kept aside. Her resentment and bitterness. We get to see how she probably felt that the world was being unfair. We get to see that despite not having a good relationship with her mother, she still wanted to believe that Lillian wasn’t capable of doing such thing. Yes, in that scene she wasn’t the “all good” Lena people wished her to be. but that made her more relatable. This scene made her a real person. The ironic thing is that the scene with her mother after this was supposed to make the viewers doubt her but this scene made me believed in her more. Katie Mcgrath’s acting, the way Lena looked so hurt during this scene, it made me understand Lena’s character even better. Like KAra did, I believed in Lena. And despite having every reason to join Cadmus, Lena still chooses not to. And ever since 2x08, I love Lena Luthor even more and more.

#lenaluthoraw #lenaluthoredit #lena luthor appreciation week #day 1 #supergirl #cw supergirl #lena luthor #lena #katie mcgrath #kashy mcgra #mcgeeksquad #mcgeeks #supercorp #kara danvers x lena luthor #kara x lena

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hiddenpxpercuts · 10 months ago

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@drvcxrys | Valentine's Day Starter for Anyone.

"Oh, I just love this holiday. It's just so bright and pink." Lillian smiled, giving the other a nod. "I am so excited about this."

#HWMINIEVENT6: Valentine's Day Gala #wish we talked about it more: lillian deville

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hiddenpxpercuts · 1 year ago

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"you are a music man, huh? what kind of music are you into?" lil asked the other with a nod. "that is good, I'm the same way. iv'e noticed when I don't have any customers at work, I draw." she admitted. "oh, I know where that is! i actually go there a lot because I have a friend who works at the white house and I meet her sometimes after work." lil smiled. "don't worry , your secret will be safe with me. i work at the mall, anytime you want a free pretzel, let me know."

❝ they can be, but then it gives me the opportunity to work a bit on music ❞ he had recently started to write his own songs. usually was it luke's job to write music, but now wasn't he here, nor reggie either ❝ yes, if they did it'd not be much competition. hmm, not too far away from the white house. actually the one who is closest. thanks. you will get free coffee, or whatever you like to drink ,just don't tell anyone ❞ alex chuckled ❝ i can get into trouble if someone found out ❞

#wish we talked about it more: lillian deville

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forkanna · 8 years ago

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[AO3 LINK]