#wish there was a switch in your brain u could use to turn off certain emotions

[1roentgen]

.

[savorysatori]

— 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍. ✗

paring : ushijima x f!reader x tendou.

usage of ‘she/her’ pronouns.

— synopsis : sex with your boyfriend, ushi, was always the same- sometimes even including kinks that you both were fond of, just the usual. yet, what happens when he develops a certain kink to watch his dearest friend fuck you?

content warning: dumbification, non-con, choking, filming, degradation/praise, mentions of anal, blindfolded, oral, use of pet names, sir kink, breast play, biting, dark content.

“Sluts always fall to their knees at the sight of my fingers, dear, what’s so special about you?”

It was a fantasy. That’s all, nothing else. All he did was imagine you withering underneath the touch of his friend’s grasp. It was nothing more, yet, why did he want to make it a reality?

Every glance and stare you gave him, your eyes lingering over the soiled up band-aid’s around his fingers, your thighs clenching together. Ushijima didn't understand. He only observed, watching you closely and the way you interacted with his dear friend. Watching when you purposely slid closer to him during a conversation, all in front of ushi’s eyes. Almost like you didn’t care if he was there.

Yet, here you were laying on his comforter with thin lace draped over the dewy skin of your thighs; nail marks from his rough hands. Giggles leaving your throat like you weren't just eyeing Tendou from his previous practice. It made him mad. Did you completely forget about your seductive gazes going towards Tendou with no shame?

Or were you playing dumb?

“Toshi! Toshi! That t-tickles, ah!”

His calloused palms stopped from running along the curve of your hip, coming to a pause to stare at you, uneasiness settling inside your stomach.

“Babe?-”

“Let’s play a game.” His tone was short & sharp, leaving you no room to question his sudden change of demeanor. You were used to his mood swings but, something like this didn't make you feel good. “I want to try something new, you don't mind, right?”

You shook your head no, of course, you always let your boyfriend explore new kinks because you knew he was curious. Yet, you wish you could go back and change your mind.

The tightness of the material from the ragged towel dug into the side of your cheek, easing a hiss from you. The way the rigid binds locked your arms tightly together - made a new form of excitement fill you up.

Ushijima’s palm was placed on your cheek, running the pads of his thumb against your cheek. You instantly nuzzled against it, sighing in contentment at his soft touch.

“You’ll be a good girl for me right?”

“Yes, of course.” Disobeying him wasn’t a option, you learned to always be careful what you say, especially around Ushijima.

Your shirt was long forgotten. Discarded on the tile floor, along with your bra. Harsh lips were encircled around your nipple, suckling the sensitive flesh. Grazing his teeth against your erect bud, a small hiss left your lips. He’d pull off of it, glistening salvia dripping from both swollen nipples. You’d squirm as he kneaded your soft breast; squeezing it gently and flicking your nipple occasionally to get a rile out of you.

“Ah, u-ushi..!” your nerves were going haywire, brain fuzzy and hard to understand. He’d plop a sweet kiss on your lips, savoring the taste of your chapstick. As he places both of his hands on your thighs, each finger gripping the supple flesh and spreading your legs apart; gawking in awe at your sweet cunt already drooling onto the satin sheets. Before he could finally soothe away the ache between your thighs, a voice speaks up.

“My Turn.”

The voice was low and breathy, if you leaned closer it would also sound child-like. It didn't take long for you to recognize the voice. You twisted around in the binds, squirming to try and get them off of you.

“At least let me prep her first.” nothing was coming to you, you couldn't decipher what was happening. Nothing was clicking in your brain, ‘what was happening right now?’

“Prep? You've had her for so long, I’m sure she's used to your cock now, if so - she’ll be used to mine as well.”

Tendou.

Ushijima’s hands were dusted off your thighs as he sat back, watching everything unfold.

Tendou inched closer to you, peering down at your obvious confused state, eyes creased together with a frown stretched onto your lips, how cute. He’d squeeze both your cheeks together, leaning down to whisper in a honey-like voice,

“I don’t tolerate bad girls kitten, don’t mess this up for yourself, yeah?” His words were sharp, nothing like you’ve heard before. He papped your left cheek and stood up, pleased to see you nod obediently, becoming completely powerless to him with just setting authority. “She’s a good one Toshi, make sure to keep her because if you don't, I'll just snatch her up!”

Ushi grunted as Tendou smirked, even more, turning his attention back to you and swiping a finger over your lips. “Let’s get started, yeah?”

Whatever clothes were on him were long gone, tossed onto the floor. His fingers digging into your scalp, gripping it tightly as you warm throat hugged his cock. Balls slapping against the under of your chin, spit spluttering everywhere. It was a lewd sight.

“Hey, ushi, you don’t mind if I video her do you?” He’d ask, already pulling out his phone. “Just a lil’ something for later alright sweetheart, hm.”

The way that nickname rolled of his tongue only made you want to please him more, show him how could ease all his problems away with just some oral. Your head moved on its own, your tongue rolling over the thick width of his cock head. His gaze lust-lidded, glossed over with bliss. Gathering all of your loose strands of hair in a ponytail, he’d buck his hips forward and keep the camera trained on your messy face coated in pre-cum.

“F-Fuck- keep going sweetheart, you’re doing so good for a well-trained slut.”

Tendou kept your head in place, catching everything on film as he dumps his thick cum in your mouth, covering your mouth in his semen.

“God damn— little slut knows how to swallow like a pro, aye?”

He pulled out of your mouth, his once hard cock softening to its normal state. Droplets of cum dripped from your mouth as you eagerly swallowed it up, your mouth only watering for more of his cum, for more of his cock. A whine rippled from your lips. You were so hopeless, so desperate, you needed him. Badly.

“Oh? Are ya’ horny for me? Yer’ getting off on your boyfriend’s best friend cock? You’re adorable, baby.” He held the back of your head tight, smearing the rest of his dripping cum onto your swollen lips. “Such a good girl.”

“hngh- Tendou..” your scraped knees dug into the mattress, face pushed against the sheets. You were so pretty, cunt already glistening with shiny arousal and Tendou didn't have to lift one finger, he thought you were so cute.

Ushijima would admit, and he would tell you later — you looked adorable, defenseless under Tendou. Hands restrained with eyes covered, you were weak to his gaze and his hands. Nothing could stop him from doing anything to you, nobody could step in. Not even ushi.

His red hair prickled against your cheek, his hands circling your throat and applying pressure to it slightly. “Yer’ so pretty, sweetheart, all nice and warm f���me back here.” He’d angle your head up to face the camera, the flash of light shining on your messy face. The blindfold came undone around your face and slipped off your eyes, revealing the sparkle of lust gleaming in them.

“T-Tendou, hngh.. please- I want it, so badly.” you were in need for the feeling of his cock inside you, dragging along your silky walls, easing his cock head in and out of you. You wanted it all.

“Sorry sweetheart, I only give cock to good sluts who address me as ‘sir’ anything else, and I see you as nothing but filthy.”

Sir?

The moment you parted your lips, you blurted out the word immediately.

“S-Sir! please, f-fuck—“

A cruel smile sprawled onto Tendou’s face, papping your cheek- he'd push away your thighs to lean closer, pressing asweet kiss to your cunt. His eyes holding a sadistic glint. “Maybe I should fuck this cute hole right here, just to tease ya’ and make you completely melt under me.” He’d coo, his finger pressing against your asshole. You'd twitch and nod your head. You would accept anything from him at this moment, anything to feel the veins of his cock.

You were already wet, nice, and dripping to which he didn't have to prep you. He’d switch you to where you were in a mating position, knees pressed to your chest and face peering up at him, ready to take anything he was going to give. When he sat up, your eyes traveled down to his semi-hard cock, staring in astonishment. The tip is red and bulging, veins pumping through the base — tiny drops of pre-cum leaking from the front.

“Ah, I already know you’ll welcome my cock well, pretty baby.”

Tendou leaned down eye-level, keeping contact with you as he pushed his cock into you, his eyebrows knitting together when your warmth sucked him in nice and tight. You bit your lip, eyes watering up at his size, you wondered how you even took him in.

“W-Wait- too fast.. gentle, please.” Your voice was croaky through whines, eyes twitching with tears when he sunk further into the depths of your cunt.

“Shh, you’ll like it. Just wait, baby.”

With that, he’d thrust into you, forcing his fat head past your tight ring of muscles. You’d yelp as he breached past the barrier, leaving you to babble and sob against the pillow like you did with Ushijima.

“Yer’ squeezing me so tightly, darling.” He leaned down to kiss you sloppily, saliva dripping from your chin the minute he pulled away. He’d runt his hips into you, massaging your thighs while he fucked you stupid, the noises leaving your lips filling him up with pride. “Pretty fuckin’ girl, hugging my cock so w-well, think I might cum right here.”

Shifting his hips, he held your legs up and hit your ‘sweet spot’, pounding into you quickly from then on.

“S-Sir!” Rolled off your tongue delicately, voice breaking down shortly from the immense moaning pouring from your mouth. Skin and skin smacking against each other, Tendou’s cock pulsing in your velvet walls.

“Gonna cum? Go ahead, cum for me pretty one. Show me how much you love my cock, c’mon baby - yer’ pussy is gushing all over me, might as well cum.”

His dirty words going in from one ear and going out the other, letters all jumbled up together leaving your mouth. Phrases and babbles for “Sir!” sputtering out. Your mind was in a frenzy, eyes glossed over in a dumb look. You could barely even see with your vision so blurry, everything like a bubbly blur.

Your walls tightened around him as he intensifies his pace, cock slipping in and out of you with a slum of pre-cum everywhere.

“S-Sir! ‘m gonna.. Ten-” anything coherent diminishing from your mind as soon as you came, your cum coating his cock head fully.

Beads of perception rolling down his face, Tendou slipped out from your pussy. Face all sweaty with eyes glazed over with bliss. He’d pump his cock in his hand, stroking the sensitive flesh — your pretty little pants were enough for him, his hand gripping his cock as he unleashed his cum onto your stomach.

“Pretty girl, you look so cute with my cum on your stomach.” He’d coo. Picking up his phone from behind, he snapped a picture of your body, making sure to save it for later.

“Thanks for letting me fuck your girlfriend, tosh, I'll repay the favor later.” Tendou pulled up his pants and papped your cheek like before, grinning down at you. “I’ll see you later sweet cheeks and your pretty pussy.”

Toshi’s eyes watched Tendou leave the room and your fucked out body on his bed, cum smeared on your stomach with fluids everywhere. He wouldn't lie, it was a pretty sight. At least he knew this wouldn't be the last time he fucked you, Toshi knew Tendou always wanted another turn, always wanted the cycle to continue.

[smoochkooks]

—golden boy (m.)

⟶ pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

⟶ genre: smut, fluff, disney hercules au, meg!oc, hercules!jk

⟶ summary: jungkook finally has you all to himself. and oh, is he going to cherish the moment wholeheartedly.

⟶  word count: 2.7k

⟶ warnings: virgin!jk, switch!jk if you squint, exhibitionism (they do it outdoors but it’s ancient greece so it’s not even surprising), soft to kinda rough sex, heavy petting, oral (f receiving), slight dirty talk, hair pulling, unprotected sex, creampie, jk in a man bun, pegasus cockblocking his partner in crime

a/n: i got cherry vodka drunk and wrote this in two hours. it’s jorny hours so please forgive me for the sins you’re about to read with your very own eyes. hercules is one of my favorite childhood disney movies and watching it today i just couldn’t stop imagining jk as the greek god. if you see any mistakes - please ignore them. it’s almost 2am. enjoy!! xx ps. I had some major difficulties with posting this one so if you were one of the first people to read it and sth was off: read it again now thank u

Jungkook thinks you're the most beautiful person in the whole world. 

He hasn't seen many goddesses in his life (hell, he's sure of it, judging by the short period of time he spent on Olympus as a newborn baby-god) but he's positive you would make his aunt Aphrodite jealous. You’re the epitome of his perfection, a walking daydream, his muse and an object of desire.

He could die happily staring at you, though it's impossible due to the fact he's very much immortal. He could travel back to Hades and fight every titan that rots in the pits of Tartarus, just to see you batting your long eyelashes at him or hear you call him ‘golden boy’ again. You quite literally have him wrapped around your finger, not even his father Zeus, the most powerful god in the entire universe managed to convince him to stay on Olympus and bask in the glory with the rest of his family.  

Jungkook chose to live his life with you, on Earth, and there's not a single smudge of doubt or regret clouding his brain. Not when he can finally hold you in his arms and kiss stupidi just like right now when it’s dark out and you’re sitting comfortably on the ground near a small pond.  

“You saved me once again, golden boy,” you murmur, fingers lazily threading through the dark locks on his neck. It almost makes him purr into your mouth.

“You weren't really in trouble the first time.” He bites your lip in return, eliciting a giggle from you.

“But am I not your favorite damsel in distress, Jungkookie?” You place your palm on his rock-hard chest and push, until he's laying flat on the grass, the starry sky above reflecting in his black orbs. “You're my hero, you know that, right?” you whisper, straddling his lap.  

Jungkook's been to Olympus and knows what heaven looks like but this: you above him, your hair cascading down your shoulders, dress bunching up around your waist and revealing smooth expanses of honey skin– is incomparable. It's sweet ambrosia on his tongue, the finest of all tastes, the greatest feeling in the world.  

“Am I?” he asks just to hear you say it once again. Instead of responding verbally you lean down to kiss him, your lips molding perfectly together. He groans into your mouth, two calloused palms itching to touch the bare skin of your thighs. Growing bolder, his hands reach further, cupping your asscheeks and pulling you even closer to him. 

You smirk into his mouth. “Someone's eager,” you tease but give in anyway, brushing your core over the hard length beneath his tunic.  

Jungkook all but moans at that and you relish in the sounds he makes, repeating the movement and slowly grinding yourself on his cock. His face twitches in pure ecstasy and you swear you've never seen anything more beautiful in your entire life– the son of Zeus being at your mercy, helpless to the pleasure you're giving him. “You're going to be the death of me,” he sighs, angling your head to kiss you again. You don't hesitate to oblige, accepting the tongue he slithers inside with a whimper of your own. 

“Thank gods you're immortal.” you say in between kisses.

He chuckles lowly, sending shivers down your spine. He bunches the material of your dress in his hands and lifts it off you in one, swift movement. Your nipples harden feeling the soft breeze fanning over your flesh. Looking down, you're met with Jungkook's blown out pupils. He looks so dreamy like this, the most perfect golden boy you’ve ever seen. His lips are swollen from your kisses, hair a little tussled and falling from his bun. A sight for sore eyes, truly.  

“You're so beautiful, love,” he murmurs, his palms engulfing your breasts. You moan when he sucks one of the nipples into his hot mouth, fingers threading through his hair and ready to pull. “My goddess,” he chants, switching to the other breast. He flicks the pebbled bud with his tongue and then bites lightly, making you cry out in pleasure. “I love the sounds you make. Want to hear you moaning for me. Give me more, love, please.”

He places his hands underneath your thighs and lifts you off him, laying you on your back. You don't complain about the change, not when he trails kisses down your chest and stomach, not when you feel his hot breath on your womanhood. He's determined to please you, it seems, so he mouths over your undergarments, alternating between kissing and licking you softly through the material.  

“Take them off,” you mutter, growing impatient. Jungkook looks up, a devilish smirk on his lips. Oh, how many sleepless nights you spent dreaming of him staring at you like that and practically devouring you with his eyes.  

“Won't you beg for me a little, love?” He's too cocky for his own good but you decide to let it slide for now, your urges getting better of you.  

“Please, Jungkookie, make me feel good.” you keen in saccharine sweet voice. He doesn't need to be told twice, ripping the undergarments off your body. “Oh, yes!” you moan when he gives you first, experimental lick up your slick folds. He swirls his tongue over your clit, making you choke out a, “Right there, darling, right there.”  

Jungkook's certain his newfound favourite place in the world is going to be between your thighs. He's already addicted to your taste, to your smell. He lavishes your cunt with passion, devouring you like the finest meal. He loves the sounds you make, love the little whimpers and breathy moans. He wants to listen to them forever. 

He groans into your heat when you pull his hair, pulling away from your pussy with a wet pop. “Do it again,” he rasps against your core and that's probably the hottest thing you've ever heard. You grant his wish, repeating it every time he delivers a toe-curling suck to your sensitive bud. “You're dripping, my love. Is this all for me?” Jungkook asks, lifting his head up enough so you could see his lips and chin glistening in your arousal. He’s getting bolder again but you’re too consumed with your own pleasure to pay mind to it.

“All for you,” you murmur, the pads of your fingers trailing through his locks lightly. He closes his eyes, lets you massage his scalp for a brief moment. “You're doing so good, darling. You're going to make me come.” 

He takes it as a sign to continue, diving right into your cunt. He shows no mercy, bringing you to the edge of release. You wonder how could he possibly be so good at this already but then you remember who exactly your lover is– a son of Zeus can only be either a fast learner or natural.  

With one, final flick of his tongue on your clit the coil in your stomach tightens and you're coming, more slick gushing out of your and coating Jungkook's face in translucent release. He doesn't seem to be bothered though, licking his lips and chin obscenesly and moaning at the taste. Your hole clenches, needing to be filled.

Jungkook discards his tunic and now you have a perfect view of his sturdy muscles, the byproduct of his training with Phil. You almost drool at the sight, running your palms greedily over the wide expanses of his chest. When your finger ever-so-slightly brushes his nipple, you feel him chocking out a tiny moan. Smirking, you repeat the motion.  

“Y/N, love, please don't tease me. I need to be inside you so bad.” he husks when your other hand travels down his abdomen and trails over his aching cock. 

“As you wish, darling.” With shaky limbs you manage to turn him on his backside again. Right when you're about to pulls his undergarments down, you hear something rustling between the trees. You stop abruptly. 

“Did you hear that?” you whisper, squinting your eyes to see better although there's no use for that during the night.  

Jungkook furrows his brows. “Hear what?” he mumbles and props himself on his elbows to look, but then you see it yourself. A glimpse of white fur that can only belong to– 

“That stupid horse!” you shriek, covering your bare breats with your hands.

“What?!” Jungkook yells, equally as shocked as you. He scrambles for his tunic to cover your modest figure. “Pegasus! Get out of here!” The magical creature neighs in response and peeks from between the bushes, looking at you pitifully. 

“Oh gods, he saw me naked!” you wail, mortified, as Jungkook gets up to scold Pegasus. “I'm gonna die from embarrassment!”  

Jungkook angrily gestures to the horse to leave you two alone, standing only in his undergarments. You want to laugh at how absurd this whole situation is. Pegasus nods with his head bowed down. Fulfilling the order, he spreads his wings and flies away somewhere. You hope far, far away from here.

“Hey,” You hear Jungkook's soft voice. He takes your hands in his and uncovers your red face. “We're alone.” he says, smiling apologetically at you.  

“I can't believe your stupid, magical horse almost watched us fuck."

“Keyword: almost.”

You cry out, burying your face in his neck.  “It's not funny!” you huff, punching him in the chest however you know he probably hasn't even felt it. But you did feel pretty much though; it hurts like you've hit a stone.  

Jungkook chuckles, placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “Do you want to continue?” he asks, rubbing your back soothingly.  

You look up to meet his eyes. “Do you?” you repeat with raised eyebrows.  

There it goes again, the damned sly smirk. “I'm still very much hard, love, and I'm afraid it won't go away that easily.”

“Yeah?” you murmur, thoughts about Pegasus and his prying horse eyes showed to the back of your head. “And what are you gonna do about it?” You push him onto his back, fingers grasping the material of his undergarments.  

Jungkook swallows before saying, “I'm gonna fuck you so hard you will never even think of leaving me.”

Biting your lip, you slide his undergarments down his toned legs. His cock is just as perfect as the rest of him–long, curved at the top and flaming red, craving to be touched. Using the precum that has gattered at the tip you smear it along his shaft, watching in awe as his face confronts in pleasure. He lets you play with him for a while like that, drive him to the insanity with your teasing.  

Just when you're about to position yourself over his cock, he stops you. “Have you ever done this before?” he asks, although he already knows the answer.  

“I did. Once,” you answer honestly. “But it didn't mean anything to me.” You slowly sink down on him, welcoming the slightly burning stretch with a satisfied moan.  

Jungkook hisses, digs his fingers into your waist and you're sure he'll leave bruising marks. “And what does this mean?” he asks, almost chokes out feeling your hot canal enveloping his length.  

“Everything,” you breathe out, lifting yourself off him just to slam down hard afterwards. “You mean the world to me.” you say; it’s priactially a whisper. As you're staring into his wide eyes, you can see your love for him reflected in them. It all feels like a dream you don't wanna wake up from.  

“I love you, Y/N,” he confesses and you know he means it. “From the moment I saw you for the first time I knew you would be the one for me.”  

A lonely tear slides down your cheeks and he catches it with his thumb. “I love you too, Jungkook.” you murmur.  

He smiles like a fool, opens his mouth to say more but you shut him up with a kiss and your hips establishing a steady rhythm on his cock. You pull away from his lips, saliva dribbling down both of your chins but you don't care, bouncing on him like your life depends on it. Maybe it does a little.  

“So good,” you whimper, the tip of his cock almost hitting your cervix with every stroke.  

Underneath you Jungkook looks like he might die right here and there, his chest sweaty and heaving with every breath he takes. He has a vice grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his cock. To your surprise you find yourself liking that side of him, the rough touch of his hands on your skin. You wonder what he's capable of if you push him a little further.  

“Oh, gods!” you keen when his cock brushes past the spot that makes you see stars. He fucks into you just in time for you to add, “Just like that.”  

As much as Jungkook enjoys seeing you bouncing on top of him, he grows tired of just laying still and taking it. In one, swift motion, he flips you onto your back. You squel after the sudden change of positions but that quickly morphs into a loud moan as he rams his cock inside your cunt.

He picks up the pace, making you feel every inch of him. He stares down where your body ends and his begins, watching his cock disappearing in your hole. You urge him to look at you instead, pull him down to leave a messy kiss on his lips. “Shit, you're so perfect,” he marvels, palms squeezing every part of your body he could reach. “Look at you, taking my cock like a good girl,” he spits, leaning to suck a mark on your neck. “Tell me how much you like it.”

“I love it. Love your cock,” you say over the slapping sounds of your skin meeting his. “You're so good to me Jungkookie, so good.” As you feel another, powerful orgasm approaching, you slip your fingers down your body to toy with your clit.  

Jungkook catches it and snatches your hand away, replacing with his own. He rubs your sensitive bud fast and hard, making you cry out his name in a broken moan. “Are you gonna come for me, love? I want you to cream my cock like a good girl.” he rasps, slithering himself inside you with enough force to knock the breath out of your lungs. 

“Yes, yes!” you chant, feeling your cunt spasming around his length. He curses, fucking you through your high. “Kiss me, Jungkookie–please,” you nearly sob and he obliges right away, plunging his tongue inside your mouth to dance with yours. It's messy and wet but you're relishing in it.  

He pants against your mouth, his pace getting sloppy. “I'm not gonna last longer,” he stammers out. “Your pussy feels too good, I'm–”

“Shh,” you whisper, cupping his cheeks in your palms. “It's okay. You did so good, darling.” He moans at the praise, leans down to bury his face in your neck. 

“Oh gods, I'm gonna–ah, shit,” he groans, thrusts into your cunt a few more times and then he comes, spilling himself inside. “I love you, I love you.” he repeats, breathing heavily down your neck.

You wrap your arms around him, smiling to yourself. “And I love you.” you respond. “But please, for the love of Zeus, get off me or you'll suffocate me.”

Jungkook chuckles, lifting himself off your body. He props himself on his hand and stares down at you. You’ve never felt so happy. It’s right here, with him, that you feel the most acomplished. You wish to make it last forever. He places a kiss on your mouth, a sweet, quick peck before he crashes his body next to yours.

He pulls you to his side and you could feel his heart beating underneath the palm you placed on his chest. It beats with the love he has for you. 

“When do you think you will be able to go again?” you ask.

Jungkook cocks his head. “What? Are you proposing a round two?”

“Not exactly,” you quip, your nail ever so slightly brushing over his nipple. “Want you in my mouth this time.”

“You little minx.”

You smirk. If his already semi-hard cock is anything to go by, you have a long night ahead of yourself.

[aliwritesfic]

Night Shift Part 3 (F!Reader x Frankie Morales)

Summary: Yours and Frankie’s weekends take very different turns

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Emotionally abusive relationship, very brief mention of drug use, drinking, T*m D*vis makes an appearance

Part 1 Part 4

Frankie slept better that week than he had in months. Every night was long, uninterrupted, mercifully dreamless sleep. The diner had done exactly what he had hoped. When he awoke that Saturday afternoon, he felt better than he had in ages. He hummed while he rummaged through the refrigerator, grabbing out some leftover padthai and throwing it in the microwave.

Each night that week, a routine between you and him had formed. You’d work, barely exchanging words until the dinner rush was completed, then you’d make him a coffee and he’d make you something to eat. You’d requested something different each night, and each night you’d spoken to him a little more. Some nights you were in a better mood than others, but he quickly realised it wasn’t personal against him.

He found he was a little disappointed when he woke up that afternoon and remembered that it was his day off. If he was being honest with himself, he’d grown to enjoy your company. Something about you intrigued him, made him want to get to know you more.

Frankie spent getting stuff together for poker night with the boys. It was his turn to host, so all he had to do was make sure that his dining room table was clear and his portable speaker was charged. 

While he got ready, his mind kept wandering back to you.

He thought of the way you had a different smile for certain customers. The truly genuine one was reserved for only a select few of your favourites. He felt himself hoping that one day you’d give him one of those smiles, instead of the one that didn’t really reach your eyes and disappeared quickly. 

He thought of how when the diner was quiet, you’d lean against the counter and sip your coffee, your gaze firmly out the window. 

He thought of how when your shift ended and you checked your phone, your face would change for just a fraction of a second before you’d say goodbye and rush out the door. 

Jesus fucking Christ, he thought, do I have a crush?

Frankie hadn’t had a crush since high school, when he had finally had the guts to ask out Portia Inglewood. That relationship had lasted until he left the military, and brought all the emotional baggage with him.

A loud banging on the door knocked him out of his thoughts. 

“Cat!” Benny didn’t wait for Frankie to open the door. “We’re here, and we have beer!”

“You know where it goes,” Frankie called back. 

Santi grinned at his best friend and handed him a beer. “How’s the new job?”

“It’s exactly what I need right now,” Frankie told him. Santi nodded in understanding. They all had their own ways of dealing with what they carried. “Plus, the extra cash doesn’t hurt.”

Frankie didn’t want money - he had plenty from when he’d do private jobs with Santi. If he ever became desperate, he knew he could just join Santi on his next job. 

“Well, extra cash or not, I’ll always be the hottest person you’ve ever worked with,” Santi winked, making Frankie roll his eyes.

“Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better, man.” Frankie laughed. 

The night progressed in a haze of pizza and beer and poker. Will lost money to Tom, and Tom promptly lost it all to Benny. Santi told the group about the new girl he was seeing, some French expat over stateside for a few months. Benny double checked everyone was coming to the fight next weekend. Tom revealed that he and the girls were moving to Ohio to be closer to Molly’s parents. The boys promptly began planning a going away party, which would basically just be another poker night but with more beer and possibly a cake.

Any worries Frankie held seemed to melt away on nights like these. At one point, he briefly wondered what you were doing and if you were thinking of him too. Yep. Definitely a crush.

~*~

You didn’t like Kurt’s friends. Unfortunately, you were stuck spending your Saturday night with them crowded in your apartment, loud and disrespectful as hell. It didn’t matter to them that you’d asked time and time again could they please go outside to smoke, could they please put their beer bottles in the recycling bin, could they please not use your nice plates to do coke on. 

If your grandfather could have seen you now, he would’ve called you a push-over. You hated that you had become this person - afraid to stick up for yourself in your own home. Hell, you didn’t even know at what point you’d become this person. It just seemed to happen over the five years you’d been dating Kurt.

You had lost yourself in trying to be what he wanted.

With a sigh, you sealed yourself away in the bedroom with a bag of Doritos and your phone, wishing you could call your grandfather. You still had his number in your phone. Occasionally, you’d look at it, the numbers seared into your brain. 

Instead of calling the now disconnected number, you settled for messaging Sara. She was one of your only remaining friends from high school, and knew as much about your feelings as you were willing to let on. The thing was, you knew what she would say if you told her how you felt every single day. How lost, how hopeless you felt. She’d tell you to leave, forget Kurt and all the years with him, but to you it wasn’t that simple. 

Part of you still loved him, despite everything, and that part remained hopeful that you and Kurt could fix the fractures in your relationship. Plus, a voice in the back of your head told you he was right when he said he was the only one who could ever love you. 

Being alone, unloved, was one of your deepest fears.

This was one of the nights you actually missed being at the diner. You missed the lemon scented countertops, the radio that seemed to be permanently set on the oldies station, hell, you even missed Frankie and his amazing food. He’d been working with you less than a week but he had already wedged himself into your stomach. But, it was just two more nights until you were back there. It struck you that this was the opposite of how most people thought. No one you knew actually wished to go back to work. 

It was almost dawn when you were woken out of your half sleep by Kurt stumbling into the room. 

“Baby,” he slurred, crawling into bed beside you. “Baby, I love you.”

“I love you too,” you mumbled, moving over so he could fit in the bed easier. He reeked of sweat and booze. 

“I’m sorry,” he planted a sloppy kiss on your neck. “I really try to be good.”

“I know,” you ran your fingers over his head. He liked his hair cropped short, in an almost military like style. “I try too.”

“Can we go back to how we were?” Kurt continued kissing you, his hands moving drunkenly over your body. You bit back a sigh, knowing where this was heading.

You decided it would be easier to let him do what he needed, despite how badly you wanted to sleep. The only saving grace was you knew Kurt would only last a couple of minutes before it would be over. 

~*~

“So, what’s the new guy like?” Manny asked. You were seated outside, at one of his favourite cafes. The sun shone down warmly on you both, brightening your mood.

“I like him, I think,” you said. “He’s nice, quiet.”

“And pretty cute, right?” Manny wriggled his eyebrows. 

“I hadn’t noticed,” you lied. Of course you had noticed. It was impossible not to notice. 

“Don’t feed me bullshit, I can tell when you’re lying.”

“Ugh, fine. He’s good looking. But that doesn’t mean anything.”

“That’s the thing lover, it only means something if you want it to.” Manny took a conspiratorial sip of his drink. “And I didn’t get a gay vibe from him.”

“Oh good, because the only thing holding me back from jumping his bones in the kitchen is that I didn’t know his sexual preference.” You rolled your eyes, deciding to quickly change the subject. “Anyway, how’s the new job?”

“I’m loving it!” Manny lit up. “Everyone says teenagers are the worst group to teach, but it’s like they forget middle school exists.”

You smiled at Manny’s happiness. It thrilled you to see someone you considered your best friend so happy. If anyone deserves the whole world, you thought, it’s him. But he wasn’t going to let you change the subject that easily.

“You know, maybe you could invite Frankie to one of our lunches,” Manny said slyly. “It could be a night crew thing.”

“That would mean inviting the weekenders,” you reminded him. Manny held a grudge against the weekend crew, but you could never figure out why.

“No, weeknight crew only. Come on, lover, it could be fun! Plus, I want to get to know my replacement a bit better. Make sure I’m not handing the spatula to someone I don’t approve of.” Manny pouted and switched on his puppy dog eyes.

“Ugh, fine, I’ll ask,” you conceded, “but don’t be surprised if he says no. The man probably has a life.”

“It can’t hurt to ask though, and I will bother you about it until you have an answer.”

“What are you planning?” You knew that look all too well.

“Just on making a new friend,” Manny said innocently. “Lover, you can never have enough friends.”

At that moment your phone buzzed with a text from Kurt.

Where r u?????

You grimaced and sent a quick reply, hoping it wouldn’t lead to what it usually did.

At lunch with Manny from work. I’ll be home in a couple hours, do you want anything?

“Why don’t you just break up with him?” Manny asked, watching you carefully.

Is he the gay 1?

Yes, you met him and his husband last year.

“It’s complicated,” you said. You didn’t have anywhere to go. You were terrified of being alone. Part of you still felt like you could salvage what you had. The one and only time you had tried to break up with him, he had threatened to kill himself if you left. 

“You deserve better than that,” Manny said. You remained silent, not sure if he was right. “You’ve been unhappy for ages now.”

“I’m happy!” You protested.

“No you aren’t. Don’t fucking lie to me. You’re miserable with that douche bag, even James agrees.”

“I haven’t seen James in months! How the hell would he know!” You were getting defensive, but you still managed to keep your voice lowered. 

“Lover, I talk that man's ear off every chance I get. Because I love him. Because he likes to hear me talk about my day and the people important to me.”

“I’m important to you?”

Manny rolled his eyes and threw his napkin at you. “Of course you are, you’re a sister to me. Stop trying to change the subject.”

“What subject!” You scoffed.

“The subject of you for some reason wanting to stay in a relationship with a man who makes you miserable,” Manny’s voice softened and he gently held one of your hands. The gesture almost made you tear up with its gentleness. You merely shrugged.

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

Manny nodded. “Just please think about it, for real. I couldn’t sleep at night if I never said anything to you about it.”

The walk home was slow, you took your time to sort out your scrambling thoughts. Manny had offered to drive you, but it was a nice day, and you wanted to enjoy the sunshine. You pushed the issue of Kurt to the side, knowing either way the outcome would be the same unless you magically grew a spine and a few extra zeros in your bank account.

Instead, you thought about Frankie and how best to ask him to Sunday lunch. Honestly, if there was going to be a night shift tradition, it just felt downright rude to not at least extend an invite. And if Frankie said yes, well, that was even better. It was like Manny said - an opportunity to make a new friend. Just a friend.

So why did your stomach flip at the thought?

Tagging @hnt-escape if you’d also like to be tagged just let me know <3

[trashi-bee]

Unwind (Sam Kiszka)

Pairing: Producer! Reader x Sam Kiszka 

Warnings: 18+ (smut), oral (male receiving)

Lil Summary: You help Sam relieve a little tension after he reveals you’ve been putting too much pressure on him. 

Word Count: 1.9 k

This is my first FULL GVF fic so please show your girl a crumb of love xo       (p.s not even gonna lie to y’all.. this fic was inspired by this !! pic of lazy Sammy)

also!! big thanks to my luv @thewritingdoll for helping me with this, she also writes for gvf so pls read her stuff (if u havent.. idk why)

Taking yet another glance at your watch, you’re met with the realization that they’re late, again. Not just a few minutes late, but an entire half hour, an inconvenience you were willing to put up with a few times, but once it became a regular occurrence it was hard to hide your annoyance. When met with the offer to work alongside such a talented and upcoming group of musicians, you were undoubtedly ecstatic. The performances they put on and the heart they integrate into every song had you certain they’d be nothing but willing to work efficiently, capable of holding an organized schedule. Unfortunately, the frivolous attitude that allows them to put on a memorable show tends to carry into everyday life, it amazed you they could stay so carefree with so many deadlines fast on their way. 

Impatiently tapping your heeled foot against the floor, your head jerks upwards to the sound of a large door bursting open, strands of sunlight surrounding the figure entering the building, you’re soon to realize who it is; a groggy, bed-headed Sam. He staggers forward, eyes hidden by aviator sunglasses, a cup of coffee held low in his right hand. “Glad you could join me, have any idea on where the other’s are?”, cheekily pulling the frames from his face and setting his coffee upon the nearest surface, he looks towards you with amusement, trying to read your demeanor. “Not a clue, you okay y/n? Seems you’re having a bad day”. Scoffing at his concern, you place your hands upon your hips to display your irritation, staring in his direction and eyeing his carefree form, now slouched upon a plush couch placed against the wall. “Just a bit underwhelmed with how fucking relaxed you boys seem to be, considering how much work is yet to be done, and you-”, putting his hand up as to pause your impending rant, he interrupts you mid sentence, “come on now, relax a little, the best music is always made on a whim”. A fiery comeback well on it’s way, your face has surely contorted at his latest comment, the carefree allure he continues to flaunt provoking you further, as if he was pushing your buttons on purpose. “Honestly, Sam, I think you guys have had more than enough leisure time, and maybe you could try giving an ounce of effort for once. Knowing you’re one of the more focused in the group, perhaps you could get them to come a little earlier, or come at all.” 

Lifting from his placement on the couch, he saunters towards you, a smirk making it’s way onto his face as he was undoubtedly entertained after witnessing your childish tirade. Circling your form as a hawk circles their prey, unease bubbles within your stomach, spreading throughout your body and making it’s way into all of your extremities, have you been too harsh? Stopping directly in front of you, his face comes closer to yours, so close that you can smell the caffeine he’d just been sipping, on his breath. “That wasn't very nice of you, now was it?”, feeling like a small child being scorned by their parent, you shrivel up, this side of Sam never once been shown before. “Since we’re being so honest today, I ought to remind you of your boundaries, since you seem to be exaggerating your importance here”, with that remark you’re once again ready to sound off, opening your mouth to spout your anger. In an unexpected turn of events, Sam brings his hand forward, clasping his palm around your mouth, stifling your words and catching you off guard, he’d never been so.. bold. Sam was often off in another dimension, head in the clouds and so tranquil it was almost frightening, what allowed him to act so forward today? 

Mischief evident in his eyes, he scans the room, his gaze eventually falling back on you. Taking time to gather his thoughts, his mouth opens to speak, and then closes again, as if he was unsure of how to convey what was on his mind. Hand dropping from your face, he takes a step backwards, huffing before finally speaking, “Do you have any idea what it’s like to have you breathing down our necks at every waking hour, of every fucking day”, you’re unsure of how to answer, and reply by simply shaking your head. His newly brazen attitude was no longer making you hostile, the way he looks when irritated stimulating a primal desire within you. Although he continues to speak, voicing his various issues to you in an exasperated tone, you’ve zoned out. Instead, you focus on his surfacing veins, blood rushing through his body at an accelerated rate to accommodate his elevated heart rate, the artery in his neck now significantly prominent. The clenching of his fists and hasty movement of his heaving chest having a stimulant affect on your most sensitive region. 

Stopping in his tracks, you’re brought back to reality when his disposition alters, “Have you listened to a single word I’ve said-”, looking at you with confusion and bewilderment, he’s once again sporting a smirk on his face, as if he’s aware of something you’re not. “Are you really gonna stand there and act like you haven’t been rubbing your thighs together?”, heat rising to your cheeks, you come to the realization that he was right. Excuse after excuse rattled through your brain, quickly trying to come up with a feasible reason to cover up your embarrassingly blatant show of arousal, and yet nothing came from your mouth but a defeated sigh. Here you were, moments before, trying to teach him what it meant to be professional, and now you’ve lowered yourself to rubbing your thighs together in order to obtain just a little bit of friction to alleviate the heat between your legs brought on by Sam’s physique. 

In a sudden, the atmosphere in the room is altered, what was once a hostile environment now heavy in audacious intent. Lightly tapping his foot against the floor, he stops, an idea having come to him. Wiggling his brows, he voices an impressively smug idea “instead of using those lips to mouth off, how about you help me.. de-stress a little?”. Jaw now slack in surprise, you’re unsure of how to respond. One part of you slightly offended he'd propose something so vulgar, another very prominent portion of yourself wanting nothing more than to please him. Impulsively, you let your desires take reign, nodding your head in affirmation. Your lack of vocal discourse in the past few minutes was amusing to him. 

Once more, he unhurriedly steps in your direction, stopping only to brush his calloused thumb across your bottom lip, slightly dipping it into your wet mouth. His skin tastes bitter-sweet, lovely and rugged. Removing his digit from your tiers, he’s left to place his large hands upon your shoulders, applying a slight pressure, a silent gesture for you to drop to your knees. “You can still say no, baby”, he remarks, trying to make certain you didn’t feel pressured to perform. Looking up into his eyes, you slink to the ground, speaking only once your face is level with his evidently hardening package, “Shut up already and let me see it”. Surprised by your sudden change in attitude, he scoffs, taken aback by your rapid mood swings. Once again acting like a fool, he goes to unzip his tight trousers, “as you wish, m’lady”. At once, you place your hands upon his open jeans, pulling them until they fall around his ankles. The only thing now left between his hard length and your mouth, a measly pair of boxers, which you discard just as quick. 

Taking a few glorious moments to inspect his tall-standing cock, your mouth involuntarily falls open. Not once had you thought to describe a dick as beautiful, until this very instance. A few veins are visible, running along his shaft, and a trace of pre-cum spills from his defined tip. Your shaky hand goes to grasp it, landing upon it’s base. The slight touch of your skin to his makes him shiver, you pump your palm around his girth a few times before guiding it to your open mouth, relishing in the taste of him. You look upwards to view his face once his entire cock has filled your mouth, and hazily smile around it. Lacing his hands through your hair, he slowly inches you to take more, something you weren't aware was possible. 

“God, you look so cute when you’re not complaining”, he half compliments, making you furrow your brows. Releasing your mouth from his base, he lets you regain your breath, all the while removing his hands from your head… a mistake on his part. Although you wanted to please him, you simultaneously wanted to drive him crazy, as a result of his immature attitude. 

Entirely switching up the soft tempo that you had started with, you return back to his length with vigor, tightly taking hold of his cock and pumping it at an accelerated pace. Eyes seemingly bulging from his sockets, a soft groan leaves his mouth, making you more than happy. Using every trick in the book, you raise his dick, your tongue quick to play with his balls and lick a wet stripe up the bottom of his cock, something he seems to enjoy as his fists are visibly balled by his sides. Once again taking him into your mouth, you're eager to drive him further off the edge, keeping up your unrelenting speed, you cover him in warm saliva, while simultaneously jacking off the only unreachable, visible part of his base with your hand. 

Now even louder than before, whimper after whine can be heard from his heavenly body, a sign that he’s even closer to reaching pure ecstasy, a state you were more than eager to see him in. Wet, lewd noises are audible throughout the room as a result of your sultry attack. “Y-you should maybe slow down a little-”, he stutters, a poor attempt to stop you from pulling a frenzied orgasm from him. Pulling from his length for a split second, you sternly voice “no.”, and quickly resume where you had left off. Knowing he had no choice but to enjoy your intemperate rhythm, he drops his head back, placing his hand on the back of your head to control you for the few last moments. His abdomen tensing and his body shaking, he lets out a divine groan, holding you on the base of his cock for a few seconds to allow for his seed to fill your throat. Gagging slightly, you happily swallow it all, taking every ounce of cum he delivers on your tongue. With a pop, his cock slides out of your mouth, the pair of you taking a second to catch your breath. 

Startling you in a moment of vulnerability, you hear a slow clap coming from the opposite side of the room. “FANTASTIC performance! An unexpected twist to an otherwise mundane evening”, without moving to view who had spoken, you’re undoubtedly aware it was Josh. slowly and painfully turning to look in his direction, you’re met with the realization that he had entered with Jake and Danny as well, who were both wide eyed in disbelief. Today’s session was bound to be... interesting. 

[artificialqueens]

nobody knows where we might end up, chapter fifteen (branjie) - holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (tumblr: plastiquetiaras) | word count: 4476

AN: Thank you so, so much for all the continued sweet response to this fic. It makes me so, so happy and makes me wish I could write it forever. Writ is a great beta <3

(then)

It’s around seven p.m., so Vanessa has approximately four hours before her brain shuts down for the night, and she can probably finish at least a little bit more of her pathology paper, and study for the midterm for the same class, and practice for the anatomy bellringer next week, before-

“Another email! This one about orientation week. Can you believe that med school’s going to have an o-week, too? As if we didn’t already do that in undergrad, right?”

Ugh.

Vanessa’s happy for Brooke, she truly is. There’s no one who deserves success the way that she does.

But if Vanessa has to hear another damn detail about the upcoming year, she’s going to lose it.

Vanessa still has to study. She’s taking a couple of courses right now during the summer semester before her fourth year along with volunteering, balancing those with more time in the lab so that her name will be featured on her supervisor’s paper once it gets published. Her summer is packed because she’s still trying, damn it, she has to go through the application process for med school all over again once the fall gets here and she has to be better, more experienced, more worthy.

Unlike the last application cycle, where she didn’t get in anywhere. Didn’t even get off any waitlists.

So, here Vanessa is. Working herself to the bone because she has to. One would think that three and a half years of pushing herself would make it easier to do with time, but she’s still had it. She wants to just camp out and watch some movies for a night without thinking about all the shit that she needs to get done.

It’s what’s made seeing Brooke, blissfully happy and free of responsibilities, so difficult to watch the last two months.

Brooke gets to enjoy a relaxing summer because she’s going to start the MD program at U of T come September, and so she gets a clean slate. She doesn’t need to do anything to prepare, because she’s already in. No need to get any extra courses done, no more volunteering if she doesn’t want to. No finishing her fourth year of undergrad. Not when she gets to enter med school after completing her junior year.

Vanessa doesn’t want to see it as unfair, but it kind of is. Just a little bit. Especially when Brooke gets to sit on the couch and cuddle with the cats while Vanessa’s at the kitchen table and reviewing from her textbook. Or when Brooke gets to come back late from nights out with Detox and Alaska because she doesn’t need to study or work hard until September, so of course she can go out and have fun. Because who cares that Vanessa has to get up early the next morning for class, when Brooke stumbles into bed so late? Why should it even matter?

Okay, so maybe Vanessa’s a little pissed. Sure, the anger and unfairness of it all is a bit misplaced, but she’s allowed to have her feelings, dang it.

Brooke’s switched to raving about the neuroanatomy course that the U of T med school students get to take (in first year, can you believe it, they go so in depth!’), and Vanessa really just doesn’t fucking care. She’s tired, real tired, and she can’t find the words to finish this analysis paragraph in her paper because Brooke is still going on about how great her program is going to be.

“Can you just. Shut up for a bit? Five minutes. That’s all I fucking need. Five minutes.” It comes out snappier than Vanessa intends but she doesn’t even care, because if she doesn’t make good progress on this paper tonight she’s going to run out of time to finish it, along with the rest of the things that she needs to get done before the deadlines hit her square in the face.

“Sorry. Geez.” Brooke’s voice is a huff but Vanessa can still hear the hurt in it, she always does. Can always tell. It makes Vanessa want to roll her eyes because even if she does feel a little bad for snapping it’s not fair, having to listen to everything.

“While I want my schedule was as empty as yours, I need to get this shit done tonight ‘cause I won’t have time tomorrow. Wish I had time to talk all about how great the program is going to be for you like we usually do every fucking night, but I can’t. Not tonight.” Not any night, but this is the first time Vanessa’s actually said something. Maybe not the smartest thing to do, but she’s fucking tired of it.

“Fine. I’ll go check my email somewhere else.” Brooke’s already rolling off of the couch, Henry in her arms and of course she’s making Vanessa feel like the bad guy right now.

Vanessa rubs at her temples, the glare of her computer screen a harsh glow that only makes her headache that much worse. “I get you wanna spend time together and shit before you get busy in September, which is real nice, but some of us have actual work to do.” Vanessa wishes she could have Brooke’s free time, she really does. But she can’t always get what she wants, now can she?

“I’m-” Brooke lets out a frustrated sigh as she stands in the doorway of their room. “I feel like I can’t even be happy or excited around you anymore for anything, like I’m already trying to keep from talking about it too much but sometimes I just want to share things, you know?”

“Great. Love it for you, I really do. Supporting you all the way.” So Vanessa sounds a bit dry while she says it. She doesn’t care. “You’ll have a great time.”

“Thanks for the sincerity.” Brooke crosses her arms and it only makes Vanessa want to roll her eyes more.

“It’s just a bit hard to be happy for you when I’m still stuck in undergrad, still working my ass off right now, unlike you.” Vanessa snaps because she’s had it, she really has, she doesn’t care. “Go celebrate with Becky or Tiffany or whomever fucking else got into med school with you. I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to listen to you talk while you braid each others’ hair and plan where you’ll sit in class together.”

Vanessa sees the hurt flash in Brooke’s eyes before she slams the front door, leaving to go who knows where, but who cares? Especially when Vanessa’s damn paper isn’t writing itself the way that it should. She has too much to do to even give a shit anymore.

Vanessa can’t sleep, because all she can think about is the fact that she has to be up in five hours to be at the hospital for volunteering, and she still needs to study more before her pathology midterm, which she’ll have to fit in at lunch time, and god, she wishes she could shut her brain off sometimes.

The door opens and closes quietly and Vanessa feels trepidation roll over her. Brooke’s back. Not that she cares.

Not really.

They’ll be fine. She just needs sleep and a bit of rest and she can listen to Brooke’s excited rambling about med school. It’s fine.

Except no matter how much she tries to convince herself, Vanessa’s still kind of annoyed by it.

Brooke climbs in beside her and turns over, facing the opposite wall. Their bed’s not even that big, just a double, but it feels like there’s an ocean between them, one too big to cross because the waters that they’d have to swim through would drown them in the waves first.

Vanessa’s glad for it, really. She doesn’t want to talk things out right now. Or cuddle. Not in this state.

She just needs some fucking sleep.

Of course Brooke manages to doze off first, her breaths evening out and becoming deeper and deeper while Vanessa has to listen. Seems like being rested and having free time is also useful for falling asleep quickly, too.

Lucky.

Vanessa will just have to drink an extra coffee or two tomorrow morning if she wants to get through the day.

(now)

“Nothing at all?”

“Nothing in his past medical history. No coronary artery disease, no hypertension, no type two diabetes, nothing! All that this guy’s file said is that he was allergic to cats. That’s it!” Vanessa nearly knocks her glass of wine over in her enthusiasm.

Brooke’s eyes are wide as she listens to Vanessa’s recap. “And then?”

“Needed a quadruple bypass. His arteries were more blocked than the 401 during rush hour.”

Brooke lets out a whistle. “How did all of that build up without being noticed?”

“I have no sweet clue.” Vanessa nearly dances in her seat, recalling the way her and her team had nearly lost their shit in the operating room upon seeing the guy’s arteries. “But it was wild. Like, he was a marathon runner and shit. Lord knows how he didn’t straight collapse while tap tapping those feet on the pavement.”

“Wow.” Brooke takes a bite of her pasta, wiggling her fork around after. “So he just had all of that the whole time?”

“Yeah! Do y’know how long it took us to clean those arteries? Forever! Though those grafts were a damn work of art.” Vanessa thinks back to the neatness of that surgery, and has to resist giving herself a pat on the back. It had been an extraordinarily good job, even for her.

Brooke snorts. “You’re the only person who would ever describe arterial grafts as a work of art.”

“Hey, it’s fun. ” Vanessa pouts, and if the soft look that Brooke is giving her makes her heart feel a certain type of way, she’s not going to think about it.

“It’s cute.” Brooke’s look at her as she smiles is unwavering, and it nearly makes Vanessa want to blush, hide her face.

No ones looked at her like that since, well-

Brooke herself.

“You’re cute.” The words slip out before Vanessa has a chance to stop them, and she doesn’t even care because then Brooke’s the one flushing, and proving Vanessa’s words completely correct.

“It is nice, though. Being able to talk about this shit with someone else who gets it.” Vanessa’s missed this. She doesn’t want to admit it, but being able to talk to Brooke, to talk about the things that she’s seen that excite her, feels so right. Like home.

Brooke still shows enthusiasm for everything she’s saying despite not being in cardiology, just like she used to when they were younger. Her cheek rests on her hand as she listens in the same way too, and for a second they could almost be back in that apartment so many years ago.

“Yeah. It is.” Brooke murmurs, before her eyes take on a mischievous sparkle that Vanessa knows is solely reserved for teasing her. “Wanna hear about this gross brain abscess I got to remove yester-”

“Nasty. We’re eating dinner, no talk of brain abscesses while we eat-”

“It was almost rotting away-”

“I will call the police-”

Brooke’s peal of laughter cuts off her protest, and Vanessa can’t help but giggle along with her.

Being able to lapse back into conversation like this, the way they used to be able to talk for hours and hours feels surreal. Like it shouldn’t be allowed, like they’re breaking some sort of law of the universe by being able to get along, actually enjoy each other’s company once more.

But then again, the past couple weeks have put them through the wringer. At least, on Vanessa’s side.

And by the dark circles underneath Brooke’s eyes (the ones that are slowly, slowly beginning to fade), she doesn’t seem to be far off, either.

Maybe they deserve this. Not being caught in the winds of a storm, for once, but instead getting to float in calmer waters. Ones that will let them tread and stay afloat and actually catch their breaths, not drowning in unspoken words and feelings.  

They finish their shared dessert too soon, and Vanessa can’t resist reaching a finger out to swipe at the chocolate at the corner of Brooke’s mouth from the lava cake. She can’t help but notice the way Brooke’s eyes darken when she licks her finger, either.

Vanessa doesn’t know why she grabs Brooke’s hand as they leave the restaurant. Maybe it’s force of habit from way back when, maybe it’s the way Brooke’s like a magnet, making Vanessa want to just get closer and closer and never let go.

But Brooke squeezes her hand back, tugs her along to the car, and the slight thread of worry, of being rejected that had been running through her heart begins to vanish.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Vanessa whispers it to Brooke, standing on her tippy toes as they wait at a crosswalk.

“What?” Brooke tilts her head in curiosity, reluctantly pulling her gaze away as they begin to cross.

“I’m still kinda hungry.” Vanessa’s sentence is punctuated by a growl of her stomach, and she gives Brooke a sheepish grin when her eyebrows raise in surprise.

“How do you eat so much yet remain only a hundred pounds max, soaking wet?”

“Hey.” Vanessa shoves Brooke’s side, huffing when it makes Brooke crack up. “I am tall . And intimidating.”

“Intimidating? I can see that. Tall? Nope.”

Vanessa pouts. “I’m still growing. I gotta eat.”

“What are you, a teenage boy?” Vanessa’s about to protest, talk about how she’s finally going to have her growth spurt, damn it, when Brooke points to a sign across the street reading Lino’s Pizza.

“Open 24 hours, apparently. Want some?”

“Damn. The waterfront is pretty at night.” Vanessa looks across the water, then up at the stars that are shining through despite the glow of the city. The hood of Brooke’s car is a perfect vantage point for watching the soft waves of the lake, the gentle breeze making Vanessa button up her jacket to the very top.

Brooke reaches in between them, grabbing another slice of the pizza they’ve bought, and Vanessa can’t resist doing the same. They’ve already demolished half of it, and while the cardiac surgeon part of Vanessa’s brain is tutting at her about the way it’ll clog up her arteries, the rest of her can’t seem to care.

“I used to come here when I was stressed as an intern and resident, after shifts. Got away from the hospitals to just sit in quiet and watch the water.” Brooke’s voice is soft, and Vanessa catches the slight look over towards her. “Kind of helped to calm my brain down, y’know?”

“I feel that.” Vanessa can almost picture a twenty something Brooke, still in her scrubs and counting her breaths with the way the water brushed up against the rocks on the shoreline. “You still come here from time to time, huh?”

“Yeah.” Brooke nods, eyes scanning the horizon. “Still helps, here and there.”

“Real nice of you to bring me here.” Vanessa looks up at Brooke, still in her fancy dress and jacket draped over her shoulders, almost comically contrasting from the slice of pizza in her hand.

Brooke’s cheeks turn slightly pink. “Can’t think of any place better to devour some pizza like this.”

Vanessa’s brain is still stuck on a younger Brooke - not as young as when they were in undergrad, but a fresher doctor, a less experienced one. “What was it like?”

Brooke’s brow furrows. “What was what like?”

“Internship. Residency. All of that.” Despite the fact that they haven’t been in each other’s lives for years and years, it still feels strange to think that there’s so much of Brooke that Vanessa doesn’t know. So many of her memories, her experiences.

So much that she wants to know.

“Well, I did them both right here. In the city.” Brooke points behind them, back towards the amalgamation of hospitals that take up an entire block in the downtown core. “It was like most internships and residencies - incredibly traumatic.”

Vanessa lets out a snort. If that didn’t sum up the complete truth of the early years of being a doctor.

“A lot of sleepless nights, doubting myself. All of that. But made it through. How was yours?” Brooke asks the last bit with her eyes pulling back to look out towards the water.

“LA was-” Vanessa pauses on her words, remembering the fact that her and Brooke haven’t actually talked about it.

Vanessa moving away, across the continent. Leaving Brooke behind.

But do they really need to talk about it now?

Vanessa doesn’t want to, not really.

So, she’s not going to. She’s gonna keep it light, because they don’t need to go anywhere near that topic. “The LA hospitals I did it at were chill. ‘Cept for the resident that supervised me as an intern. She was like a damn military sergeant. Kept us all in a line and everything.”

Brooke looks back towards her at that, curiosity covering the trepidation that had been previously written on her face. “Like, a literal line?”

��A literal line, we followed her like ducklings!” Vanessa thinks back to being an intern in scrubs that were too big for her, ones that she had to roll up at the cuffs so that she wouldn’t trip in them. When the hospital felt vast and endless, not quite her domain just yet.

“Though we got to do a lot of cardiac shit. I got to stay on that unit more than others, I liked that.”

“How’d you manage that?”

Vanessa grins. “Needled the attending surgeon until he was so annoyed by my unending questions that he had to take me on to get me to stop. Annoyance is a great strategy.”

Even Brooke can’t resist a grin back at Vanessa’s statement. “Why can I picture that so clearly?”

Vanessa flips her hair over her shoulder. “Because I go after what I want, that’s why.”

“You sure got it.” Brooke’s smile is still on her face, but the mirth doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Back when they were in university, Vanessa used to be able to tell exactly what Brooke was thinking. What the little changes in her face meant, what exactly she was holding back from saying. She used to be so proud of it back then, knowing her girlfriend so well. Now, though, Vanessa feels like she’s behind a glass wall, like she’s going to have to work hard all over again to break through it and tune into Brooke the way she should be.

“Mostly. Mostly got it. The job part, sure.” Vanessa closes the pizza box that they’ve polished off between the two of them, leans back against the windshield of Brooke’s car.

“Yeah. We got the jobs.” Brooke’s voice is soft. They’ve both reached what undergrad them had been striving for, trying to work so hard towards. They’re at the top of their games in their respective fields, having both gotten what they had wanted.

But they both had to leave things behind in the process to get there. Sacrifices left at the altar of their hopes and dreams and aspirations. Sacrifices such as each other.

Brooke lifts up the empty pizza box, sliding herself off of the hood of the car before holding a hand out for Vanessa. She grabs it and yelps when Brooke pulls her off of the car right after, landing on her feet with an oof.

Vanessa holds back a yawn, the long day catching up with her; and of course Brooke notices. “C’mon. Let me take you home. You’re dead on your feet.”

“M’not tired.” Vanessa’s not. She’s having fun with Brooke for the first time in so long and she doesn’t want it to end, because then what if they won’t have any time like this ever again?

“Yeah, you are. It’s like, almost 1 a.m.” Brooke checks her watch. Vanessa’s about to put up a half hearted protest to Brooke’s words before she continues. “We can do this again, you know.”

Vanessa perks up. “Yeah?”

The smile is reaching Brooke’s eyes now, making them sparkle and it’s a sight that Vanessa’s missed, one that she never wants to let go of ever again. “If you want to.”

“I want to.” The words come out more forceful than Vanessa intends them to, but it’s true, she wants this. Wants more. More time with Brooke, more time outside of consultation meetings and seeing each other in the hallways and sex in offices. She wants to know Brooke again, make her laugh more until she gets those cute little crinkles by her eyes when she giggles.

“Good. Me too.” Brooke reaches her hand out, linking their pinkies together and if Vanessa didn’t know any better, the smile on Brooke’s face right now would look almost shy. Flushed. As if they’re two teenagers with their first crushes all over again. As if they don’t have volumes and volumes of baggage and history that are already propping them up.

Vanessa can’t help herself from casting glances over at Brooke as she drives, watching the way she’s blinking away sleep as her hand grips the steering wheel. Her mind is made up when Brooke pulls up to her apartment building. “You’re dead on your feet now too, B. It’s nearly two.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll head home now, don’t worry.” Brooke yawns, rolling out her neck as she shifts her car into ‘park’.

“In this state? We work in five hours, you can’t drive like this.” Vanessa’s not going to let Brooke back on the road when she’s practically snoozing already. Especially not on the ever so busy downtown Toronto streets, where it would probably take her another twenty minutes or more to get home, anyway.

“I’ve been called in to the hospital for emergencies at three in the morning before. And so have you, I bet. I’ll be fine.” Vanessa would believe Brooke right now, she would, if she didn’t remember the way she’s driven in for those kinds of late night calls herself, nearly falling asleep at the wheel.

“Still. Don’t want my ass to get sued if you crashed your fancy Lexus into a pole or something while driving home and they blamed it on me. You’re sleeping here.”

Brooke raises an eyebrow at her, but doesn’t argue. A win.

It’s certainly not how Vanessa’s imagined bringing a girl home, much less Brooke. Though pulling out some spare pyjamas, a baggy shirt and shorts because she knows that Brooke is much taller than her gives Vanessa a strange sense of déjà vu, as if the action is the most familiar thing to her in the world. As if Brooke sleeps over at her place all the time, as if her bed has actually held Brooke rather than just the thoughts of her that invade Vanessa’s mind when she’s had too much to drink or feels too lonely.

“Take my bed. Imma camp out on the couch.” Vanessa’s brain is too tired to think about the ramifications of them sharing a bed, of what it could mean. A topic saved for a later time, when she really wants to delve deep and put herself through it.  

“I’m not gonna take your bed away from you, especially because we work so soon. Go sleep. I’ll take the couch.” Of course tonight happens to be the night that Brooke feels like arguing with her over a damn bed.

“Just take the bed-”

Brooke wiggles her car keys, the jingle interrupting Vanessa. “I’m taking the couch or I’m driving right now.”

“So pushy. Fine.” Vanessa mumbles the words because she’s tired and doesn’t care that much, really, when it’s so late. If Brooke wants the couch that bad, she can take it.

Sleep doesn’t come to Vanessa as fast as she wants it to, though, once she’s washed her face and changed into her pyjamas and climbed into bed. Not when Brooke’s on the other side of Vanessa’s bedroom door, camped out on her couch under her spare blanket and in her pyjamas, as if this is perfectly normal for the two of them to do. As if Vanessa isn’t about to lose her mind thinking about it.

Vanessa turns over to lie on her side for what feels like the millionth time that night, no position seemingly comfy enough to let her brain drift off and rest as the numbers on her clock creep closer and closer to the morning.

She’s still awake when she hears the soft pad of footsteps outside her room, and her door creaking open tentatively, letting the tiniest crack of light in and casting shadows along the walls. There’s no way Vanessa can sleep now, not even when the light dims as the door closes once more because Brooke is right there, standing by her door. Vanessa can feel it, even if she’s turned away and facing the wall and her eyes are squeezed shut tight because she’s still pretending to be sleeping.

Vanessa can feel her heart pound as Brooke shifts her weight as she stands, making the floor squeak underneath her feet. She seems to be debating what to do and Vanessa just wants to tell her to hurry up already, to put her out of her misery. But then Brooke seems to make a decision as takes a step closer and she’s climbing in, pulling the covers over herself too and she’s in Vanessa’s bed and right beside her and how can Vanessa still pretend to be asleep now?

Brooke tentatively reaches out and all pretenses are gone because Vanessa snuggles closer, burying herself against her. The feeling nearly bowls her over, as if she isn’t already lying down in bed because being in Brooke’s arms like this is something that she hasn’t felt in years. The way Vanessa’s heart twists when Brooke lets out a soft little sigh and kisses her head makes her realize that she’s missed being like this more than anything in the world. Missed feeling like she’s complete, all protected and safe and as if the problems that could trouble her suddenly don’t matter anymore. Not when she has Brooke with her like this, limbs tangled and all warm and holding onto her tight and it’s okay, really, because Brooke’s holding her the same way too. As if she doesn’t want to lose her, to let her go. To break the delicate spell between them.  

The soft pictures of her dreams come to her quick after that, as her breaths even out and begin to sync with Brooke’s, because everything is okay when they’re like this. Vanessa is convinced of that fact.

[papi-chulo-arthur]

Dutch Van Der Linde | Relationship Alphabet

A = Activity (What’s their favourite activity to do with you?)

Dutch, being the bookworm that he is, loves to spend the rare evening, when everything in camp is stable, having you pressed against his chest as he reads chapters of his favourite novels to you. He loves how you laugh when he creates a new tone for each character and places kisses to the back of your neck when he finds a chapter awfully boring. Reading to you relaxes him.

B = Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of the relationship?)

Dutch is a highly confident man, that has a suave personality and a way with words. So, when he’s first courting you, he turns on his charm and uses it to find out more about you. He loves to make you blush at the beginning of your relationship, to push boundaries so that you feel more comfortable around him and his lifestyle. Dutch isn’t one to take things slow, so he makes sure you can keep up with his pace.

C = Communication (How do they communication with their S/O)

Dutch isn’t the best communicator when it’s come to relationships. This is partly because of the stress that comes with leading a gang of outlaws, and partly because he doesn’t how women operate all that well. On the rare occasion, he will listen to what you have to say, but when it’s his turn to formulate an opinion or a reply, expect brutality and a twisted truth.

D = Drunk (What they’re like when they’re drunk)

Depending on Dutch’s mood when he first starts drinking, determines the outcome of how he is when he’s drunk. He’s been known to be the life of the party, making his way around camp to have a laugh with everyone and take you happily back to his tent at the end of the night. However, if’s he drinking to drown his sorrows, expect an ugly man that doesn’t care who he puts down.

E = Emergency (How are they in emergency situations?)

Dutch always takes a logical approach to emergency situations. He knows how to keep a clear head and how to keep others around him calm so that he best outcome (well mostly, the best outcomes) plays out. However, if it’s you that the emergency is centred around, his brain switches off and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. It’s in this moment that Dutch realises how much you actually mean to him, so he’s shouting at everyone to help you, just hoping that you’ll come out of it okay.

F = Free spot (Any canon I come up with)

Dutch wishes he could love you harder, but he’s never been able to love anyone as much as he loved Annabelle. Maybe it’s because he’s scared to lose you too.

G = Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they receive?)

Dutch isn’t one for giving gifts, as he feels that he’s given the entire camp a safe place to stay. Although, he does claim that his words of wisdom are a gift from him to you, but even you know that’s bullshit. If Dutch does give a gift, it’s usually something materialistic, with little meaning behind it, like the pearl necklace and silver ring he bought you at the beginning of your relationship. As for receiving gifts? Dutch really isn’t into it. He finds joys in other things.

H = Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle?)

Dutch is the kind of guy to only show affection in private. He isn’t into PDA, and you’re lucky to get him to hold you hand. Although, if you are in the city together, he does enjoy having you arm linked around his as he shows you off to the world. When you’re in your tent together is when he softens. Dutch is the kind to lay back and have you rest your rest on his chest. You enjoy listening to his heart beat and he loves when your fingers draw tiny patterns on his chest.

I = Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show they irritation?)

When is this guy not irritated? I know that he seems happy, but he has a lot to deal with. Being kind isn’t easy, especially when you’re the leader of a bunch of rebellious degenerates. You could say that life itself irritates him something. Usually, Dutch expresses his annoyance through little outburst that are usually directed at you. He knows that you’re committed to him and that it won’t be hard apologising to you later.

J = Jackpot (If they come into a large sum of money, how do they spend it?)

Cigars. Tailored clothes. Shiny new shoes. I really don’t think Dutch would spend the money any other way. He’d probably donate some to camp, but he’s going to ride in a $2000 horse before putting his name in the ledger.

K = Kryptonite (What is the ultimate weakness?)

Dutch LOVES to have his shoulders rubbed. He especially loves to have them rubbed by you. If you offer him a massage, he’ll stop whatever he’s doing and be at your mercy.

L = Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

Dutch is a rather serious guy, but he still has a pretty good sense of humour. More than that, he has a wicked sense of humour. He’ll kill a bunch of O’Driscoll’s and laugh after it instead of feeling guilt or sorrow.

M = Morning (How do they wake up in the morning?)

Do not talk to Dutch before he’s had a cup of coffee. Although Dutch is usually awake before the rest of the camp, it isn’t with a hard slog on your behalf. It’s you who wakes the king up each morning and he likes to be woken up to lips on bare chest and his fingers netted in your hair.

N = Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? Do the show it?)

Dutch isn’t a needy man in the way that he needs to be around you all the time. Dutch is independent and is fine with not seeing or talking to you for a rather long while. Although, this man does have needs. He likes to have his dick sucked is all I’m saying.

O = Oasis (What is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

Dutch loves sitting by the river reading a book. He’s at his happiest when he is undisturbed and can freely ponder his thoughts without interruption from people. Although, he does make an exception for you to come with him and sit, back against his chest as he reads to you.

P = Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle you being in pain?)

Dutch doesn’t have as high a pain tolerance as someone like Arthur, but he can take his fair share. Dutch knows how to take a punch and has been taking them all his life. If Dutch is in pain, it tends to turn into anger with whoever is around him. Although, if it’s an enemy that’s made him bleed, they won’t leave his sight alive. When it comes to your pain Dutch isn’t as attentive as he should be, more times more concerned about the camp than how you’re feeling. Something like period pain doesn’t mean much to him, but if you’ve been seriously injured or your soul is aching, he’ll be right by your side.

Q = Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship?)

“What you will allow is what will continue.”

R = Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart?)

“Come, share a drink with me, my love as we swap stories of out endeavours.” Dutch is a mans man, but he longs for a womanly touch when it’s been out for reach for a long time. He’ll sling an arm around your shoulders, pull you tight into his body and kiss your temple before whispering hot in your ear. Dutch only likes a short drink to catch up before your tent flaps are shut and your flaps are… open.

S = Stress (What stresses them out? How do they deal with stress?)

Dutch is always a little stressed, and who can blame him? It isn’t easy work keeping track of everyone in camp. But Dutch deals with stress well. He uses it to motive him to get his work done and keep the people around him safe. Sometimes, when it’s all getting a little too much, he’ll sit down by the fire with you and hold you hand as he explains his thoughts and feelings, more often times trying to have them make sense to himself, more so than to you.

T = Terror (What are they afraid of?)

Dutch is afraid of losing his position of power. He knows that he’s getting older, that Winters are getting colder, and that there are plenty of young and capable men who could lead just as well as he. However, Dutch has a silver tongue and for the most part, that keeps people on his side and him as their leader.

U = Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

Dutch’s silver tongue. He could make a polar bear buy ice.

V = Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

Dutch is always fighting. He’s fighting to stay alive and to stay free. He’s a tough guy and his many encounters with enemies and the law have shaped him to not only have excellent physical fighting skills, but to be strong mentally. Dutch likes to strategize before he fights people. He doesn’t ever go in blind because he knows that you don’t win by being reckless.

W = Wow (What do you do that really surprises them?)

Dutch was pleasantly surprised when you booked him a bath in town and helped him bathe. Being the leader of the gang, he constantly gives to people, so this small gesture kept him happy for a long while. This man lets out little grunts when his hair is washed for him, but they’re not quite as loud as the grunts he gives when you wash a certain body part…

X = Explicit

Honestly, Dutch loves nothing more than seeing you on your knees, gagging on his dick. The man loves a standing blow job with his fingers tangled in your hair, his hips ready to move if he wants to speed up the process. Oh, and he likes it when you swallow.

Y = Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly they can’t handle it?)

Look, this might not go down that well, but Dutch doesn’t respect women, nor their bodily functions. He is not going to be around for your period or child birth.

Z = ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits?)

Dutch is a back sleeper. He more times awake during the night than asleep, so if he can have your head resting on his chest, with his fingers combing through your hair then that’s good enough for him.

[urdearestmom]

Airport Ballrooms | A Delayed Flight

so I don’t think I ever posted this there, and it reminded me that I need to post the rest of the chapters of LSS. but for those of you who haven’t come here from my ao3, here’s a little something I wrote back in January.

Summary: What happens when you hear a piano at 3 am?

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13332432

She hears it before she sees anything. Right as she exits the washroom, a song’s beginning is heard from a piano. As it proceeds, she finds that it’s vaguely familiar.

Coming into the open area where she’s been sitting and trying to nap for the past three hours, she sees that the formerly vacant piano is now occupied by a man whose fingers are gliding across the keys, his dark hair slipping over his brow. He looks like he might be about her age, although she’s not sure.

He’s very concentrated on his playing, so he doesn’t notice when she stands off to his left, watching. He ends the piece softly and when he looks up, he sees her and jumps, putting a hand to his chest.

“Jesus Christ! …almost gave me a heart attack there,” he laughs.

She smiles. “Sorry. That was really nice,” she says, gesturing to the keys. “What was it?”

He shrugs. “Just some good old Chopin.”

She nods. “Sounds familiar.”

“Did you recognize it?” He asks. “It’s one of his most famous pieces.”

“Yeah, kinda sounded like a lullaby or something.” She scrunches her nose. “Never mind.”

He hums. “No, I get what you mean, it has that quality to it,” he says, getting up and pushing the bench in. “What’s your name?”

For some reason, it’s at that moment that she notices he has freckles, although not many. “Jane Hopper, but I go by El. I like your freckles,” she unashamedly comments, then cringes. Fuck.

They start moving toward the seats where she left her luggage, and she sees that there are a few more bags nearby that must be his.

“Really?” He answers. “I used to have a lot more when I was younger, it’s kind of a side effect of aging that you lose freckles.”

“They’re cute.” She looks at her feet. Again? Seriously?

“Alright,” he chuckles. “If you say so, El.”

It’s then she remembers she hasn’t asked his name.

“Michael Wheeler, but no one except my parents call me Michael. Mike’s easier,” he says, tilting his head. “Were you on that flight to Indianapolis? I think it’s the only one that got delayed this late.”

She sits back where she’s been this entire time, and he sits next to her. They’ve just met, but it’s nice not to have to sit in an empty airport terminal at three in the morning by herself, chasing sleep she knows she’s not going to find. “Yeah, I’m going home. I was in Vegas at a speech pathology conference."

Mike grins. “Vegas, huh? What’s it like, hit up any casinos?”

El lays her head back. “I was there for work, so no. I guess I could have, some of my coworkers did, but casinos aren’t really my scene. Too loud,” she responds. “My friend Dustin definitely did, he’s still there,” she adds with a smile.

“He sounds like fun.”

“Definitely is, though sometimes he can be a bit of a handful,” she laughs. “How about you? Going home too?”

Mike nods. “Yup. I was in LA visiting my cousin, but also working. I’m a piano teacher,” he says, wiggling his fingers. “And there’s been a new initiative here in the States, to get some sort of standardized way of teaching, like the Royal Conservatory in Canada. So there’s been collaboration happening, stuff might be in the works.”

She turns to look at him, taking in the excited way he says this. “You seem really happy about that,” she remarks.

He nods again excitedly, his mop of hair flopping over his eyes. “Absolutely! It would make things easier if every teacher across the country had a certain level of things to teach students. Be easier for students too, especially if they ever have to switch teachers.” Suddenly he blows air upwards. “I need to cut this shit,” Mike says, gesturing to the dark locks surrounding his face.

El contemplates him for a second, taking in how he looks. “Nah, it looks good with your face.” GOD, EL! Stop being so forward, you just met him! “I think so, at least, if my opinion counts for anything,” she says, suddenly shy.

It’s weird, she thinks, that she just met this guy less than ten minutes ago and they’re already talking so easily.

He smiles. “It does,” he says, taking out his phone. He shows her what’s clearly a selfie, but it looks like there’s two of him. “That’s my cousin.” Mike points at the one who’s wearing a Guns N’ Roses shirt. “And this is me.” He’s wearing a simple striped t-shirt.

She looks more closely at the picture, trying to find some difference between them. “You guys look like twins!” She exclaims.

“We could be, if he wasn’t five years younger. We get that a lot though,” he answers. “I think you’re going to agree with me on this.” He continues. “He says he’s more attractive, but I say we look the same and therefore have the same appeal. What do you think? As an outside party.”

El looks at it again, and finds that she disagrees with Mike. “I think you’re cuter. Something about you,” she replies.

She looks up to find that a lovely pink blush is spreading across his cheeks. “Something I said?” She winks. Oh my god you fucking idiot. She suddenly feels crushed by the weight of her mortification.

He makes a strangled noise, and the hour and her tired brain must be getting to her, because somehow she finds it the funniest sound she’s ever heard. It’s also a little comforting that he doesn’t seem completely put off.

“Damn, that was smooth!” He says, starting to laugh too. “I gotta tell him you said that.”

“Isn’t he sleeping by now?”

He shakes his head. “No, he says sleep is for the weak. And it’s only two in Cali, and it’s the weekend.”

She reads over his shoulder as he types.

Cute girl said I’m cuter than you LOL

Suck on THAT tozier

“You think I’m cute?”

Mike blushes again. “Yeah, pretty. Really pretty,” he says softly. He gets a text almost instantly.

I dont believe u wheelie

U probably paid her or smth

Also, suck on what ;)

Actually nvm thats incest its just my reflex response

Mike looks at her. “Is it okay if we make a video and send it to him so he believes me?”

She shrugs. “We’ve still got at least four hours to kill, so why not?”

He pulls up the camera and starts recording. “Fine, you don’t believe me, here she is herself,” he says, turning the camera on her.

She waves awkwardly. “Hey… um, what’s his name?” Cringe.

“Richie.”

“Hey, Richie, just a little video to say that in my opinion your cousin’s cuter than you. And no, he didn’t pay me to say that,” she states, glancing off camera with a small smile.

Mike turns the camera back to him. “There you go, asshole. Video proof.”

He sends it, and they wait a minute in anticipatory silence before Mike’s phone vibrates with another text.

Lmao that doesnt convince me

She is cute tho ill give u that

Mike heaves an over-exaggerated sigh, shaking his head. You’re a dick, he types, go to sleep I’ll text when I get home.

SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK, MICHAEL.

GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP, RICHARD. YOU HAVE WORK TOMORROW.

FUCK WORK

Mike stares at his phone for a second before turning it off. “If I keep talking to him then he’ll never actually go to sleep.”

El smiles at him. “He seems like a fun person.”

“Oh, he’s an absolute dick. But I love him,” Mike says, shaking his head again. “We weren’t really close as kids but then he moved nearby and we talked more, except then I went to college. He’s closer with my little sister.”

She nods. “Do you have any siblings?” He asks.

“Nope. Just me and my dad.”

“That’s nice. Sometimes I wish there had been less people in my house, would’ve meant less embarrassment in certain situations,” he says. “I have two sisters, one older, one younger.”

“I wish I’d had a sister growing up, would’ve made things easier sometimes,” she answers. “Can you even imagine how awkward my dad was the first time I got my period?”

He doesn’t say anything for a second, and she thinks maybe she shouldn’t have said that. OH MY FUCK.

“Sorry, that was awkward,” she laughs. WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK.

“No, it’s fine, just unexpected is all,” he says. “I mean, we’ve only known each other for like fifteen minutes.”

They look at each other, the same thought going through their minds. “This is weird,” they say together, and then they start giggling.

“I just-” He takes a breath. “Do you feel like you know me from somewhere? Because I feel like I know you but I don’t think I’ve ever met you before.”

It’s what she’s been thinking. She feels a sort of familiarity with him, something she’s never felt so quickly with anyone else. It’s like she’s known him for a long time, or maybe in another life or universe.

She grins. “Isn’t there a multiverse theory?”

After spending an hour discussing parallel universes and the physics involved in understanding any of it (which they both have enough of a basic grasp on because of watching too much History Channel), Mike is sitting at the piano again, El having asked him to play something else. She doesn’t recognize the beginning, but as it progresses she realizes she does know it. It gets her moving, and she doesn’t really know what she’s doing, but she’s circling the piano and the man playing it in a way that somehow fits with the music. She even sings along with the main melody and the trills.

She feels like he’s transforming the place into a gigantic ballroom with his music, and she’s the princess dancing with her prince (except there’s no prince to dance with, because he’s too busy making the music). It’s a stupid thing to think, but she never had dolls or was allowed to watch princess movies or read fairytales when she was a kid, and she feels like she missed out. Hopper let her watch movies and read, but it wasn’t the same as a teen as it would’ve been as a kid. And maybe it’s just a dumb fantasy, a creation of her mind because she’s tired and suddenly thinking about her horrifying childhood, but she thinks the imaginary ballroom that only has her and Mike in it is a wonderful place to be.

He ends the piece with a theatrical flourish, throwing his hands up off the keys as soon as the last notes are played. “How was that? You were dancing!”

A laugh escapes her lips as she claps. “It was amazing! I knew that one, it’s from the Nutcracker, right?”

Mike nods vigorously. “Gotta love me some Tchaikovsky.”

“Is that why it’s so dancey? Because it’s for a ballet?” She asks, curious.

“No, it’s because it’s a waltz,” he answers, stretching his arms up above his head. His sweater rides up to reveal a sliver of pale skin, and she finds herself staring without being able to tear her eyes away. “Waltzes are inherently dancey, I think. At least that’s what I always tell my students who play them, it helps them really hear the tempo and accents if they try to see the dancers.”

She averts her gaze, and he’s still talking. “You know, ‘cause waltzes have the accent on count one, so it goes one-two-three, and sometimes when you’re caught up in playing you forget about it so it’s good to try and envision the dancing. The music was written for dancing after all,” he finishes. “El? Sorry, was I rambling, because I have a tendency to-”

“No,” she breathes. “You’re just really attractive. The piano suits you.” She almost face palms. WHY am I like this????

That shuts him up, a redness spreading across his face once again (but this time along with a wide grin). He might just combust if he looks at her, so he looks at his hands instead.

“Sorry,” she says, worried she’s crossed a line she wasn’t supposed to yet.

Mike’s head whips up. “Sorry? What are you sorry for?”

“I’m too forward. It almost always ruins things with guys.” She deflates almost imperceptibly, and she wonders if he noticed.

Apparently he did, because El feels herself pulled into a sideways hug, tugged down to sit on the bench next to him. “Hey,” he says softly. “You’re just saying what you think is true, which is a great quality to have. You saved me from my own rambling, so thanks.” He gives her a squeeze and adds, “It hasn’t ruined things with me.”

Suddenly the air is charged and she thinks that if they weren’t in an airport she might have kissed him then. Sadly, they are in an airport. Instead, she requests that he play something more contemporary than Chopin or Tchaikovsky, and he starts up with a rendition of Halo by Beyoncé.

They spend another hour around the piano, him playing more and she observing. El thinks he plays with a lot of grace, his fingers moving deftly across the keys almost as though he’s stroking the instrument. He looks like he belongs in front of a piano, making beautiful music for all the world to hear. In this case the world is a strange woman in an airport at the asscrack of dawn.

It’s five in the morning when the pair crashes back onto the seats next to their bags, and they lean their heads on each other and fall asleep. However, it seems things are only in increments of one hour on this night, because it’s six when El awakes with a start, knocking Mike’s head off of hers.

“Attention passengers: flight 337 to Indianapolis International is now scheduled for take-off at eight thirty. Boarding will begin at gate twenty-three one hour in advance.”

“Hey,” she says, seeing Mike next to her looking disoriented. “Flight’s at eight thirty but we gotta be there at seven thirty, do you wanna get some breakfast?”

Looking around, she sees that the open area that was so empty during the night now has other people milling through it, and it shatters the warm space she’d felt she and Mike were in. It’s time to go back to the real world, away from the fantasies of ballrooms and princes and dancing. The magic of the night has been erased by the movement of the morning and she hopes what she thinks she felt between them hasn’t been erased too.

He yawns. “I’ll take that as a yes,” she says, getting up to stretch and grabbing her bags.

They walk around the slowly filling terminal, looking for a place to eat, and light upon a cute coffee place in the food court. They order and eat in silence, avoiding looking at each other, until he speaks.

“Does last night… feel like it was a dream, to you?” Mike asks.

I thought that was just me. She takes a sip of her black coffee. “It kind of does, yeah. This entire encounter has been weird.”

He looks down at his croissant, crinkling his nose, then peeks back at her through his lashes. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.”

He says nothing else, and neither does she, so they head off to gate twenty three, and she thinks something’s wrong because he wasn’t this quiet or awkward last night. The tension is palpable, but she’s never been very good at social interactions and she doesn’t know what to say. He probably realized how dumb I am. She thinks she may have come across as very brazen (which she is, but she hates it for how it ruins everything all the time). Mike hadn’t seemed bothered by her earlier, and she had hoped that something good might have come out of their chance meeting.

It seems it was not to be, however, because the only thing he does as they board the plane is wave and give a little half smile when he finds his seat. El sighs and settles in for the hour and a half flight. She’s decided she’s going to try to catch up on the sleep she missed instead of sitting in abject misery, and it works because she’s blinking confusedly when a flight attendant wakes her to say that they will be landing in approximately forty minutes.

She’s excited to be back home, to work, her patients, her dad and Max. But she’s also the teeniest bit sad because she wants to explore that special connection she feels with Mike, to see what it means and what it’s about and she believes she’s ruined her chances (okay, so maybe she’s more than a teeny bit sad). She’s convinced herself that nothing was ever going to happen, she had imagined the unexplainable thing she felt between them.

She makes it through baggage claim and isn’t sent to customs, so El’s on her way out of the terminal to catch a taxi because both Max and Hopper are working today when something does happen. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a person running out of the passenger exit, and she thinks that they must have seen a loved one they missed.

That is, until she hears the shout. “El!”

It’s Mike of course, and he comes to a skidding halt in front of her, breathless. “I just- ran- all the way here- because- I’m a dumbass-”

“Whoa, hey, breathe,” she says, “I don’t need you dying on me in the middle of the airport.”

He nods and waits until his breathing levels out before straightening up. “I wanted to apologize for being so stupid and awkward this morning, I don’t know what got into me.” He swallows before looking at her directly. “I really want to see you again, so… do you wanna go out sometime?”

WHAT! She doesn’t respond for a few moments, shocked. But then she grins and says, “Are you asking me on a date?”

He sucks in a breath, about to shake his head, she can tell, but then he stops. “You know what, fuck it. Yes, I am.”

“Well, I’d certainly like that.”

El leaves the airport with Mike’s number in her phone, and she’s only been in the taxi for a few minutes when it pings with a text.

Can you do tonight at 7?

He’s eager, and she likes that she’s not the only one. It assures her she’s not being some creepy, obsessive, stalker.

Someone’s eager lol

But yes

Where?

I was supposed to go to a “friend’s” party tonight but I never actually said yes and I really don’t want to haha

Kinda cheesy but I was thinking a roller rink if you want to go

There’s one near my place and it has an arcade too!!

Growing up in the 90s, El remembers being fond of arcades. She and Max used to hang out in them all the time. Another thing in common!

Aaaaaa the arcade I miss those

Sounds good, pick me up or meet you there?

I can pick you up lol I don’t mind

She sends him her address, and he sends back a GIF of a penguin dancing.

See you later :D

(part 2)

[omnishamblegreg]

Hey @loveofmylonglife !!

92 truths

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end choose however many people you want to tag!

LAST …

[1] drink: water

[2] phone call: my auntie

[3] text message: my best friend

[4] song you listened to: It’s Like That by RUN DMC

[5] time you cried: maybe.. 3 weeks ago, if we’re not talking laughter-crying

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: no

[7] been cheated on: no

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: yes

[9] lost someone special: no

[10] been depressed: yes

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] jade green

[13] mint green

[14] lilac

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: yes

[16] fallen out of love: no

[17] laughed until you cried: hooo yes

[18] found out someone was talking about you: yes, good and bad

[19] met someone who changed you: yes

[20] found out who your true friends are: i dont know, maybe i knew that before now

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: heh yes

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: 6 i think

[23] do you have any pets: yes, kitten of the name Mika

[24] do you want to change your name: noo

|25] what did you do for your last birthday: visited my dad in qatar, swam, played board games!

[26] what time did you wake up: like 10.30am

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: probably watching narcos or being attacked by my cat

[28] name something you cannot wait for: for summer, camping and swimming, passing my driving test and driving cousins about like rebels

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like an hour ago 

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my family dynamics- hooo boi i agree with you there. and how i’d handled certain situations. where i decided to do 6th form, being brave enough to confess love. having the brain capacity and energy to think thoroughly for myself about my spiritual beliefs. sometimes i think it’d be easier if i’d grown up not questioning stuff so much

[31] what are you listening to right now: the end credits of narcos. my love.

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ah my old basketball coach

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: my inability to revise for shit

[34] elementary: What about it? if you mean the *cough* sherlock piracy, the actor played alongside cumberbum in frankenstein, then went off and did elementary. felt a bit like he nicked his acting pointers to go imitate him. but im not bitter! oh this means primary school: ledge. i was a loving teacher’s pet

[35] high school: same mostly girl’s schools, year 8 was peak :(, but year 9 was PEAK and best fricking thing ever. i moved a lot but made some great friends. then got stressed at alevels but v funny friends. school is stress i dont need to go back to that

[36] college: uni is TBA. i will enjoy my own space

[37] hair colour: brown

[38] long or short hair: short

[39] do you have a crush on someone: not really

[40] what do you like about yourself: that people trust me a lot, that i make my sisters laugh so much they look like gargoyles, that i have little things im good at. 

[41] piercings: Ears

[42] nickname: depending with who: karimmer/rimmer, kima, karma, gary

[43] relationship status: single and ready to spread my legs. in bed to sleep because thats the most comfy sleeping position

[44] zodiac sign: im a goat

[45] pronouns: she/her

[46] favourite tv show: this is fluid. right now i am addicted to narcos. (not like that)

[47] tattoos: none

[48] right or left handed: right

FIRST…

[49] surgery: just sewing up my chin?

[50] piercing: ears

[51] best friend: maysa my cousin, since i was 3, who i knows near everything about me (every time we meet i just catch her up on the new shit). we fuckin tight

[52] sport: this is FUNNY. but i guess swimming, in a leisurely, non-competitive floating way

[53] vacation: tunisia, like what else besides visit family every summer obv

[54] pair of trainers: MINE DIDNT LIGHT UP ! they were PINK tho

RIGHT NOW…

[55] eating: nothing

[56] drinking: nothing. sad days

[57] I’m about to: watch pedro pascal in game of thrones

[58] listening to: nada

[59] waiting for: nada

[60] want: this is a lot. want to feel energy coursing through me. want to be physically able to sleep for a day. to kiss. to have photographic memory. to actually have a spec of an imprint, a positive, a help, on the world. to meet up with all my old friends. to understand myself. to write something and make someone think with it.

[61] get married: some day. i forget im 19 and family members are suddenly going ‘hey karima wanna get me to find u someone heh?’

[62] career: during and after uni, i’d like to write stories. and do art. academia would be cool, researching and writing kickass linguistics papers about memes. but i do not want to dwell on this 

WHICH IS BETTER…

[63] hugs or kisses: both, but hugs only if they’re proper gourmet ones

[64] lips or eyes: eyes

[65] shorter or taller: taller

[66] older or younger: older

[67] romantic or spontaneous: I AGREE WITH WHAT U SAID BOTH BOTH IS GOOD. spontaneity is madly romantic 

[68] nice arms or nice stomach: oooh. stomach i think

[69] sensitive or loud: yep i agree again ^^ someone who’s both is brilliant, we just both gotta be in the same hyper mood then BAM whole house telling us to shut tf up. overall tho.. someone who’s sensitive and understanding is more important. someone who cant switch to being sensitive is so closed off

[70] hook up or relationship: relationship

[71] trouble maker or hesitant: trouble maker if they’re not like. pablo escobar level trouble maker. 

HAVE YOU EVER…

[72] kissed a stranger: yeah stupid

[73] drank hard liquor: no

[74] lost glasses/contact lenses: yes

[75] turned someone down: yes poor unfortunate souls

[76] sex on first date: no

[77] broken someone’s heart: i dont Think so

[78] had your own heart broken: yes

[79] been arrested: no

[80] cried when somebody died: yes

[81] fallen for a friend: yes rip me

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[82] yourself: at times. i always believe it’ll kinda be alright in the end, that i’ll get to where i want to be, but i dont always believe i have what it takes Right Now. this is hard to explain.

[83] miracles: kind of. depends. i believe it was a miracle i got As and A*s in my gcses when i barely revised. and that my sister causes rain and thunderstorms when she prays for them. some miracles. i feel like a lot more used to happen

[84] love at first sight: no, thats romanticising someone as a concept and i am all too guilty of it

[85] santa claus: no and i dont think i ever did?! i discovered who he was simultaneously with ‘he’s fiction’. but thats okay with me

[86] kiss on the first date: whatever man i know nothing

[87] angels: yes

OTHER…

[88] current best friend’s name: Kathryn, steph, maysa, rabeeya 

[89] eye colour: brown

[90] favourite movie: shaun of the dead or How I Live Now

[91] favourite flower: honeysuckle, def jasmine.

[92] favourite season: summer whosoever should like to also do this, tag me and go for it!! im a curious bastard

[recentanimenews]

Crunchyroll Favorites 2017: Video Games

What a wild year it's been for gaming. Nintendo has thrown down the gauntlet with the Switch and its unbelievable roster of exclusives but they're far from the only company mixing things up and putting out some astounding exclusives. Following Part One about our favorite anime and manga, Part Two will cover our favorite video games from the plethora of hit releases in 2017!

PETER FOBIAN (@PeterFobian)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: The obvious choice (get used to seeing it on this list). Breath of the Wild probably impressed me more than any other game this year, taking Zelda and the open world platform to new heights in the most clever, brave way imaginable. This game lets you do whatever you want, giving you access to an immense number of tools to drive you to solve problems in ways the designers probably never thought of. Or, at least, you might believe they hadn’t if the world wasn’t brimming with small interactions we’re still discovering to this day. Even the story is a clever take on the usual defeating Ganon formula. I felt Nintendo was slipping during the Wii U days but they easily dominated this years releases.

NieR: Automata: Or, at least, I say that, but now I’m gonna talk about a bunch of PS4 titles. NieR was quite the narrative journey and did some immensely cool things with its story you could only see in a video game, replaying the same events from different perspectives then building upon them into brand new arcs. The game had its aesthetic sense on lock, complete with one of the best soundtracks I’ve ever heard. The glimmer of hope residing at the end of such an oppressively sad world was a tremendous conclusion. I just wish there had been more. There are elements in the game where I feel Yoko Taro teasing DLC content that he knew would never come. That asshole.

Horizon Zero Dawn: Another open-world game that was willing to invest in its setting. The world of HZD is awesome, aesthetically, functionally, and narratively. It also feels complete. Rather than the usual fetch quests you can expect in this sort of title, every mission has its own story and serves to expand your understanding of the various cultures of the world. The main plot is a wonderful dive into the history that brought this world about featuring a partnership of convenience between two characters whose arguments I could listen to for hours. The relationship between Aloy and Sylens is fantastic. The gameplay is fantastic. The world is fantastic.

Nioh: This game got a lot of flak out of the gate for being a Souls-like but it’s risen to that challenge and done some great things all its own with a deeper combat system featuring a variety of stances, combos, tools and unlockable techniques. The aesthetic is also spot on and, while it doesn’t have the same cinematic approach, delivers a cool environment with enemies just as frustratingly hard. If I have one complaint, it’s that the game went for a more numbers-heavy approach featuring RNG drops and complex crafting system that kept me in menus while I’d rather be exploring. All-in-all the game felt great to play and never felt like it was slowing down. You could even collect pokemon!

ECHO: I feel like I’ve been waiting for the release announcement for this game for an eternity since I first played a demo at PAX two years ago. This game touches on all my favorite aesthetic hallmarks, taking place in a nightmarish superstructure that is equal parts Giger and Blame!, alternating between immaculate palaces and criss crossing walkways over a dark abyss. The story is a particularly satisfying space opera and includes a unique gameplay mechanic controlling the enemy AI that feeds right into the horror of the setting. It’s a horrifically beautiful achievement and a MUST. PLAY.

Persona 5: My first experience with the Persona series has been memorable and I definitely now understand the obsessive following these games have earned. P5 has a crazy awesome sense of style and a great cast of characters with individual stories that build up to some seriously anime cathartic moments. Pretty much every characters unmasking was a memorable highlight and synced up nicely with the games through line of defying oppressive authority. I wish they’d gone a bit further, done a few things better, and loosed up a but on what players can do in the game. All the same I’ll be right there with everyone else in 2117 when Persona 6 comes out.

Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice: I love this game not only for what it is but what it represents. Long time fan of Ninja Theory and this game makes me a diehard. Hellblade's aim to release an “independent AAA game” is just what the industry needs right now with franchises and studios falling victim to microtransaction based monetization and getting gutted by major publishers. I hope to see a ton more of these in the year to come. The game itself was well-worth the price tag, a fascinating descent into hell that had a few clever tricks and an interesting representation of auditory hallucination that added to the atmosphere. More of this, more Ninja Theory.

Guilty Gear Xrd 2: Everyone has their fighting game and mine is Guilty Gear. The franchise went through a notable low point releasing Guilty Gear Xrd without Baiken, but thankfully ArkSys recovered and is back with part 2 and the good content. They’ve tightened some of the bolts from the previous releases along with character specific changes. I’m loving the new kits on all my main. ArkSys’s 3D/2D style continues to set the visual standard for 2D fighters. The only thing I’m not crazy about is Millia’s hat. If they add ABA then this will truly be the perfect game.

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus: Although I’d never played Wolfenstein before this year, I was understandably attracted to the marketing efforts of Bethesda to promote this title. I was wholly unprepared for the over-the-top narrative experience it provided, coming closer to Saints Row levels of ludicrous plot twists and characterization without compromising it’s blood-in-the-dirt aesthetic. The writing walks a razor's edge between horrific and hilarious while fearlessly drawing similarities between the Wolfenstein world and modern day America. It’s wild that Blazkowicz feels so real, even melancholic, with everything that surrounds him.

Uncharted 4: The Lost Legacy DLC: Lost Legacy solved what was incontrovertibly the biggest problem with Uncharted 4. No Chloe. It pulled one better by bringing back the best new character from the main title, Nadine in an unexpected partnership that worked better than I could have imagined. Rather than a fun side mission, Naughty Dog spent a lot of time using past events to build a compelling narrative around both characters and their unlikely partnership with all the same cinematic highlights as the main title. It wasn’t quite the unforgettable experience as Uncharted 4, but it was quality DLC that barely exists in a industry chopping up IPs to sell them in pieces.

RENE KAYSER (@kayserlein)

Persona 5: There are three titles that I carry as the triumvirate of “Games that changed me in who I am”. One of these three is Persona 4 which helped me get through the worst part of my youth. And while never got tired of Atlus’ spin-offs of that title like some people did, I certainly was hyped for the new entry in the series. It didn’t quite hit the mark for me that 3 and 4 did but it gave me an absolutely fantastic 99 hours of thievery and intrigue. I just wish they’d given us more Social Events to hang out with the entire group …

NieR: Automata: It’s quite something to not only get one but two sequels to life-changing games in a single year (Number Three in my triumvirate is Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII which introduced me to Japanese games in general). The original Nier broadened the horizon of what you can do with videogame storytelling for young 16-year-old me and while Automata didn’t hit me that hard, it still managed to let me reflect a lot on my actions as a gamer (I still feel bad for getting *that* trophy). I just hope that Square remasters the first game one day so I can reunite with its characters once more.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: No franchise in the world means as much to me as Zelda. I went through every single entry (not counting the CDI ones - I’m no maniac!) and know almost every dungeon by heart. BOTW has recaptured that old magic of (re-)conquering an entire kingdom and sucked a whopping 120 hours out of me before I knew it. It may have certain weaknesses (mainly in the story department) but that doesn’t take away from the utter magnificence Nintendo has gifted us with. I only wish they’d tell us something definite about its timeline placement (My money’s on the Convergence theory).

Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony: Kazutaka Kodaka is a goddamn genius. He, Kotaro Uchikoshi and Ryukishi07 are probably some of my favorite writers ever and in the newest entry of his murdery series, he once again presents us with this unique mix of comedy and horror only he can concoct. Its second and third case slow the game down a bit but the final two will turn anyone’s brain upside down and put it through the blender in a way you’ll never forgot. To write anything more, would delve into spoilers but if you haven’t gotten into this franchise until now, you’re definitely missing out!

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus: I have a long-standing love for fictional (!) nazis. Part of it is certainly due to the gruesome part of German history which lets you easily villainize them without any need for characterization but also a remaining excitement of of the forbidden (all nazi content is stripped out in the German version of the franchise, so I have to resort to imports). Shooting nazis itself would be fun enough but Machine Games’ reboot trilogy somehow still gives it one of the best and most moving video game narratives in years which leaves me yearning for its final chapter. The cherry on top of the already delicious cake is the German dialogue which was voiced by fantastic German actors (who were sadly replaced by less fitting ones in the local version) which enhances the atmosphere tremendously by not copping out with using American actors with a funny accent and no actual dialogue like every other game with nazis. Even if you’re not into shooters, you should give the Wolfenstein reboot a try - it might really surprise you with its story.

Super Mario Odyssey: Here I go thinking that Nintendo just put out something that they can hardly match again for at least half a decade … and they do it within the same year! BOTW was already great but Mario Odyssey cemented 2017 as the year Nintendo returned to form. Not since Mario 64 did it bring me this much fun to play as our favorite plumber (though he did quit that job) and I find it highly possible that his newest game might even go down in history as being superior to his first 3D outing.

The Nintendo Switch and basically everything on it: This list of mine already carries two Switch games on it - but I could easily put down everything else on the system. While its portability might seem like a gimmick to outsiders, it opens up every system you play on it incredibly. Even if you’re mostly at home and work from there (like me), the comfort to pick it up and play another 30 minutes in bed before you’re sleeping adds so much to the experience that I can hardly put it into words. Skyrim, Doom, Xenoblade, Stardew Valley, Splatoon 2, Resident Evil - the list goes on and on and each week I’m overwhelmed by new announcements of both indie games I’ve been meaning to check out for a long time but also ports of bigger titles on this hardware. Not since my PS One have I been so in love with a system itself and with how things are going, the Switch might easily become my favorite gaming console ever created.

KARA DENNISON (@rubycosmos)

Resident Evil VII: This game messed me up something fierce -- in all the best ways, of course. I can understand why opinion is divided in some cases, but it’s so atmospheric and so entrenched in its own lore that it’s just fascinating to get lost in. And I love a game that blurs the line between gameplay and cutscenes to the point that you’re not even sure what’s under your control anymore. That’s some good horror.

Doki Doki Literature Club: The first release from indie studio Team Salvato, an OEL dating sim with a poetry-driven storyline. And -- funny story -- it just magically appeared in my Steam gifts. I still don’t know who sent it to me. But whoever it was, I owe them big thanks because it was just the kind of VN I love. The art is absolutely gorgeous, and it’s got a great story you’ll want to explore multiple times. High points of the game: hanging out with Sayori, a long weekend with Yuri, and finally getting some time alone with club president Monika!

Fate/Grand Order (US release): Of course this was going to make my list: I can build an army of nothing but different female King Arthurs. The story is entertaining for history and folklore buffs, and it’s also a great (read: inescapable) entry point to the Fate franchise.

NICK CREAMER (@b0bduh)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: From the first moments I started playing Breath of the Wild, I realized this game signaled the end of one era and the beginning of another. Through its gorgeous world, incredibly rewarding base gameplay, and infinite secrets to discover, Breath of the Wild redefines what we can expect from open world games, solving the issue of vast yet unsatisfying worlds in one definitive strike. I can only hope that future games steal as much as they can from Breath of the Wild’s bountiful innovations.

Nioh: Nioh’s appeal is pretty simple: place the satisfying, skill-intensive combat of a Dark Souls-style game in the circular loot-grind context of a Diablo-like, speed everything up by about thirty percent, and let it fly. The end result is likely the most successful riff yet on the Souls/Bloodborne subgenre, a game that can happily stand beside its spiritual inspiration.

Nier: Automata: Automata is undoubtedly the messiest game on this list, containing a vast number of minor gameplay failings and larger issues of overarching pacing and structure. And yet, no other game I played this year can match Automata’s narrative ambitions, or its soaring dramatic heights. Automata brings you to your lowest possible point in order to drive home that even at the end of everything, hope survives. Technical issues aside, a message told this creatively and well deserves all the accolades it can get.

Persona 5: Persona 5 was also messy in a variety of ways, like its occasionally unsatisfying dungeons, and especially its frustratingly conditional perspective on society’s “outsiders.” But from its endlessly endearing cast to its utterly best-in-class art design, Persona 5 also offers a vast array of astonishing strengths. I’ll still be thinking fondly of my time with the Phantom Thieves for a long time to come.

Resident Evil VII: Sometimes saving a franchise means going back to the drawing board. So it was with Resident Evil VII, which ditched all the bloated excess of the franchise’s recent entries in order to zero in on the fundamentals of horror: intimacy, isolation, implication, and, uh, insects. Lots of gross insects. Vast segments of Resident Evil VII play out as a horror experience so tightly composed that it really feels like you’re trapped in a beloved horror movie. It’s like twelve straight hours of opening a door that you really, really, really don’t want to open.

  THOMAS ZOTH (@ABCBTom)

NieR: Automata: Nier: Automata isn’t my favorite Yoko Taro game, but it’s the one that has established him as a creative voice and given him the tools and funding to keep delivering punishing Drakengard games for me, so I am beyond thrilled by its reception. Taro is truly a gaming auteur who enjoys playing with the expectations about what videogames must do and must be, frustrating and infuriating players with his obtuse cruelty and making them love him for it. Once you’ve finished Automata, play Drakengard 3 and the original Nier as well.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Xenoblade sneaks in just under the line, and I haven’t made it very far, but both Xenoblade and Xenoblade X were my favorite games of their respective years, so it’s safe to say I will love this one all the way through. Not as big a fan of this game’s more kawaii artstyle, but the story is still willing to go unexpected places and allow you to explore gigantic, overwhelming worlds. Plus, the game’s awful map system is getting a patch so I have no real complaints. Xenoblade is my favorite modern RPG series and one that’s not to be missed.

Super Mario Odyssey: A game that feels like the direct sequel to Mario 64, allowing for the feeling of exploration Sunshine and Galaxy lost. I love the possession mechanic, I love the bizarre uncanny valley situations where Mario interacts with humans, and I love New Donk City’s Festival. I’ve cooled on Mario platformers a lot in recent years but this reminded me why I spent so much time collecting 120 stars in Mario 64.

Persona 5: I know all of the problems with Persona 5, gameplay-wise, narrative-wise, and character-wise, and I agree with all of it. The game is massively flawed, and could have been so much better. AND YET… AND YET the fundamentals of Persona 5 are so strong that even with this burden it’s still one of my favorite games of the year. The gang of misfits that made up the Phantom Thieves are my family and the music is divine. I hope the game spawns all of the 100 spinoff cash-ins that Persona 4 did, because I will probably get them all.

The Legeond of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: I hate open world games, because they always present a procedurally generated landscape of vacant mountains and palette swapped ninjas. You are free to go anywhere, but there is nothing to do. Until Breath of the Wild, that is, which has a marvelous curated world made with the help of the wizards at Monolith Soft. The game has three problems. When it rains, you can’t climb. Running depletes stamina, making it hard to fast travel. There are horses, but riding a horse is pointless, because you have to leave it behind to go exploring. That’s it: Everything else is perfect. Play it.

JOSEPH LUSTER (@Moldilox)

Super Mario Odyssey: Odyssey is the ultimate fulfillment of the promise Super Mario 64 made over 20 years ago. As much as I loved the Galaxy games, Nintendo went even further on Switch, providing the ideal playground for Mario and his absurdly athletic abilities. Taking control of enemies is always a pleasure, and I still haven’t uncovered half of what’s hidden within Odyssey’s jam-packed worlds.

NieR: Automata: Yoko Taro is a genius, and NieR: Automata deserves all the success and acclaim it has received since launch. There may be moments where some things don’t click just right—including the fairly repetitive combat and some dull locales—but the whole is so delightful that it’s tough to really care about those faults. The immense soundtrack is icing on this introspective, humanity-questioning cake.

Resident Evil VII: The latest entry in Capcom’s storied franchise is a return to form in many ways. Despite the perspective switch and an ever-so-slightly more grounded setup, things get buckwild pretty fast. Throw in classically stupid objectives like finding three dog heads to open an old rural house’s door and you have exactly what I want from survival horror.

Nioh: Team Ninja is back! Nioh gave me the first good taste of their sweet, sweet take on action games since Ninja Gaiden II, all with a heaping helping of FromSoftware inspiration on top. Nioh is much more complex than it appears on its surface, so even the most dedicated of players should have their hands full unraveling the various systems and making them work in each increasingly challenging scenario.

Horizon Zero Dawn: Guerrilla Games’ PS4 hit is hands-down the most gorgeous game I played all year. While the main story is worth pursuing, the thrill of the hunt is at the core of Horizon Zero Dawn. It’s always exciting, and occasionally frustrating, to run into a mechanical beast you have no hope of toppling… only to emerge triumphant! Those moments never get old, and the variety of locations makes this one the poster child for Photo Mode.

ISAAC AKERS (@iblessall)

Atelier Firis: The Alchemist and the Mysterious Journey: My pick for game of the year isn’t one of the big JRPG titles, but the second in a trio of understated games from Gust commemorating the Atelier series’ 20th anniversary. I was inspired to pick up the game thanks to a beautiful article written by a friend of mind, and I was delighted to find one of the most expansive, relaxing, engaging, and rewarding game worlds I’ve ever experienced. Firis isn’t the flashiest game of the year, but the way it allows you to just sink into its comfortable rhythms astounded me.

NieR: Automata: I’ve got my reservations about Automata as a story, but one thing I can give it uninhibited praise for is its ability to create vivid experiential pockets within its world. Automata is not just rich in its colorful conceptualization of its world, but also in ideas, and the blend of themes, incredible music, beautiful locals, and its tendency to bat for the emotional stands resulted in some moments that stand out as truly stunning amongst my gaming experiences of the year. The ability to create those moments, whether they last a few seconds or a few minutes, ought not to be overlooked amongst Automata’s other strengths and flaws.

Uta Macross: To balance out my unusual engagement with actual console games, I must of course return to the place I spend most of my gaming time: mobage (which I found out this year is pronounced “mo-ba-ge” and not “mob-age”). A Macross rhythm game has been a wish near to my heart for years, and with the 35th anniversary providing a clear justification for it, it finally happened. At last, I can tap my phone screen to the rhythm of “Ikenai Borderline,” “POWER TO THE DREAM,” and “Universal Bunny.” It actually wound up being a little less exciting than expected since I already listen to Macross music constantly, but a long-standing wish fulfilled is nothing to sneeze at.

Tokyo 7th Sisters: On the other side of the spectrum is a mobile game I’ve been playing for longer than I can remember – Tokyo 7th Sisters. Although I played quite a bit during the year (it was my game of choice in my hotel room during long work trips), the most rewarding part of being a fan of the game came with a wholesale update of the whole thing, from the actual rhythm game to the way gacha points are handled. All those changes have gotten me back into the game in a big way, and excited for what mobage BS the game will give me in 2018.

CALLUM MAY (@CanipaShow)

Persona 5: In 2014, I bought a custom t-shirt based on the original teaser trailer of Persona 5. It had 4 chairs on it with balls and chain attached to the legs and one white chair in the middle.  It was a bit of cool symbolism for the game’s eventual themes and I was so impatient that I didn’t want to wait for the official merchandise, I wanted to make my own. When the game was released in 2017, that t-shirt had faded beyond recognition and is now just a red t-shirt with a white chair on it. Everything I love about Persona 5 has probably already been written above, but despite how many times the game was delayed and despite how much that shirt faded, it still became my favourite game ever.

Danganronpa V3: Never have I wanted a game creator to kick me in the shins more than Kazutaka Kodaka. He wouldn’t do it upon prompt, instead he’d kick me down at the most ironic and heartbreaking of times. He never does anything in halves. It’s always better, crazier and more dramatic than ever. I often promise to myself that I will pace things out, that I will try to balance work and playing through the trials of Danganronpa. But in the end, I always end up engrossed in an ever expanding spiral of mystery that delights, confuses and surprises me, sometimes even up to the early hours of the morning.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: I’ve steadily been warming to the Xenoblade Chronicles combat and world design over the past two entries, but Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is the first time I’ve felt like I really need to see this through to the end. With a large, but manageable diverse world set atop titans wading through a sea of clouds, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 exists and strives with its own set of distinctive rules. The sea is made of clouds, the cloud level rises and dips because the Titans are always moving and if you’re a main character, your outfit is ridiculous. All very important rules that Xenoblade Chronicles 2 sticks to. Existing as a more streamlined version of previous iterations, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is a brilliant adventure that succeeds more than it fails at keeping you on track.

  NATASHA H (@illegenes)

NieR: Automata: What to say about a game where already so much has been said? Nier: Gestalt was one of my favorite games of all time, so I had big expectations for the sequel, and it easily surpassed them. Haunting, nihilistic, melancholic, and searingly human, Nier: Automata encompasses so much of what I love in a good post-apocalyptic story about androids and robots. And yet it’s so much more than that, constantly evolving on nearly every structural level possible and delivering an emotionally exhausting but satisfying game about empathy, violence, and what it means to be human. Aided by a stunning soundtrack, beautiful visuals, and fantastic voice acting, this game will hold a special place in my heart for years to come.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: I’ve always liked Zelda games, but BOTW surpassed all of my expectations for what the game could be like. Rarely has a game felt like it was tailored for me while also respecting me. The amount of things there are to explore, to experiment with, and to interact with are beyond me, and yet, 70 hours in, I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface. The game invites curiosity in ways I’ve never seen, and I’ve got plans that may take up months, if not even years, of gameplay. There is something so delicately beautiful in Breath of the Wild - a world worth exploring and saving, and I can assuredly say that it’s my favorite game of the year (if not many years) alongside NieR: Automata.

Final Fantasy XV: I wasn’t sure what to expect of a game that’s been in developmental hell for almost a decade - at one point I was fairly convinced it was never going to happen. But happen it did, and while Final Fantasy XV is filled with flaws, technical and story-wise, it also has some of the most emotionally intense highs I’ve seen in a Final Fantasy game. Square Enix easily sold me on these four boys and their friendship, and I shed many tears along the way of their tumultuous and strange journey. They’re good boys, Brent.

Cuphead: I have only two things to say about Cuphead. One: The animation is sublime. Two: It is absolutely infuriating(ly addictive).

  SAM WOLFE (@_Samtaro)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: I know that just about everyone else contributing to this article is going to write about this game, and rightly so; The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was spellbinding. After being delayed from 2015, to 2016, to “when it’s ready”, Breath of the Wild had a lot to live up to and yet still surpassed almost everyone’s expectations. Nintendo took a very big risk in deviating from their standard Zelda formula to give players a game that trusts them to be competent. In the first few weeks of release, I kept hearing the same thing from my colleagues playing the game “this one is really hard”, “the combat is like a puzzle,” “it’s so difficult!” Breath of the Wild doesn’t pull any punches, it expects players to meet it at its level. It allows you to get lost, it allows you to make mistakes, it allows you to wander around Hyrule for hours doing whatever you want, yet still somehow results in you having made progress.

Breath of the Wild’s bleak setting is also fresh to the Zelda series. You, Link, the hero of whatever timeline this game takes place in, have woken up one hundred years too late; the party’s over, and the bad guys won. While the NPCs you encounter still have the same Zelda charm you’d come to expect, they’re all a little fatigued. Almost no one believes you are the hero  you say you are, and nobody expects things to get any better. It’s a cynical world that only you have the power to fill with hope again.

More than anything else though, Breath of the Wild rewards players for how much time they spend in the world. I think the simplicity of the final scene is brilliant, calling out players who may have sprinted towards the ending. I won’t spoil it, but I will say that when you get to the final cutscene, it’s short, it’s simple, and if you’ve spent enough time in Hyrule to remember why you started this crazy quest in the first place, it’s satisfying.

Hearthstone: Kobolds and Catacombs: Hearthstone dropped three big expansions this year, but none were as impactful and fun as Kobolds and Catacombs. A love letter to Dungeons & Dragons, Kobolds and Catacombs introduced the Dungeon Run, a solo experience where players get to build a deck out of the coolest cards the game has to offer as they progress through the kobold empire. In addition to a slew of new cards, this new way to play was made available for free, meaning you can download the game and start playing with some of the most exciting cards the Hearthstone team has ever created, all without spending a dime. Thank you, little kobold, I will take that candle.

Sonic Mania: Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is one of my favorite video games. Period. The bullies who say there are no good Sonic games have simply forgotten the glory days, and who can blame them? Sonic hasn’t been doing what he does best in several years. Sonic Team themselves even forgot, throwing a bone to fans of the original games, effectively saying “if you think our Sonic games are no good, why don’t you do it?”

So they did. And it blew everyone away.

Sonic Mania is a love letter to Sonic’s Genesis era. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles returned in spectacular fashion, reminding everyone of a simple truth: it’s fun to go fast. With exceptional level design and music you’ll bop your head to, Sonic Mania succeeds where almost every Sonic game in recent memory fails: it’s fast, it’s fun, and it keeps you coming back for more. I’m not sure if a Sonic Mania 2 is in our future, but if it takes us another 13 years to get there, I’ll still lace up my running shoes when the time comes.

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That's it for Part Two of our three-part series! Be sure to check out Part One and stay tuned for PART THREE: EVERYTHING ELSE! If you're still in the mood for past CR Favorites, check out the previous years' features here:

  Crunchyroll Favorites 2016 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll Favorites 2015 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll Favorites 2014 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll Favorites 2013 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll Favorites 2012 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll News' Best of 2011 Part One Part Two

  What were your favorite video games of 2017? Comment below and share with us! Remember, this is a FAVORITES list, not a BEST OF list, so there's no wrong answers!

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Peter Fobian is an Associate Features Editor for Crunchyroll, author of Monthly Mangaka Spotlight, writer for Anime Academy, and contributor at Anime Feminist. You can follow him on Twitter @PeterFobian.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com