#wirterblr

[outsassing-nero]

working on my phd project & enjoying the pumpkin lattes

[the-andromeda-effect]

18

A stop is made for the night, and there is a soft moment....

Adira slowly awoke to find herself alone, on a bed, in an almost completely dark room.  Confusion was once more awash over her as she tried to remember where she was and how she had gotten there. The last thing she remembered was resting her head against Caliban’s shoulder as they were pulling down the drive to the estate. As she lay still and only blinked, she tried to get any clue as to the time from the sky outside, but she could see nothing through the small gap in the curtains.  Was this Caliban’s cabin?  Even if it was, why had he left her alone?  He had said he wasn’t going to do that again.  Had something happened? For a few minutes, she lay there simply trying to get her bearings in the dark room. When she sat up, she could see the outline of a door against the wall across from the head of the bed where the window was, but no light coming from underneath it.  Her only assumption was that everyone else had gone to bed.  Caliban has seemed protective of her all day, and now she was alone in the strange room to sleep alone?

Maybe since there were three of them in the cabin besides her they figured she was safe? Even if that was true, then why not wake her up to at least tell her where to find them? For some reason, being left alone in the room caused her to feel hurt and tears stung at her eyes.  They knew what she had been through and how the previous night had gone for her. Then there was the beginning of the day. She didn’t like being alone after that, yet here she was. 

Absent-mindedly, Adira gently ran her thumb across the palm of her wounded hand as she continued to sit and think.   Even though the room was so dark, Adira closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.  Her emotions were getting the best of her, and she needed to calm down, there was no reason to be getting upset. She knew Lars and Marcin wouldn't let anything happen to her, and that went double for Caliban.  If she could survive Mircea, one night in a strange bedroom would not kill her.

As she sat there breathing slowly and relaxing, she could start to hear the faint voices of the men.  They were quiet and sounded like possibly on another floor, but also sounded calm.  She kicked herself for overreacting, she knew she was, but she was still having a hard time calming down.  She was alone, in a strange place, and while she truly wanted to believe everything Caliban said, she knew she wasn't really his wife.  Not that her life had been a bed of roses before, but it had definitely been one of the more eventful 48 hours of her life, and the ground still felt like it was moving under her. She truly didn’t know how to feel or what to think about it all, especially the man that every time he was near her, she found herself just wanting to curl into and let him hold and protect her.

So lost in her thoughts and trying to sort everything out was she, that she hadn’t heard the heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and approaching the door.  The turning of the knob and the creak of the door opening did get her attention, startling her, and making her jump to her feet with a gasp.  Turning quickly in that direction, all she could ascertain in the darkness was a tall broad shouldered figure in the doorway that seemed to almost take up the whole space.  She quickly backed up against the wall behind her, as if it could provide protection, with a gasp and a sound that was a squeakish scream. There was no fight or flight, it had long ago been beaten out of her.  Instead, it was freeze and pray for mercy. 

“Shit!  Adira, I’m sorry, I thought you’d still be asleep.” Caliban’s voice was full of the remorse he felt, and just the sound of it helped to soothe Adira’s nerves some.  For his part, Caliban was kicking himself for not having come up earlier to check on her, or having just stayed when he brought her up originally. He'd wanted her to get rest while he talked with the two guards, and instead had just ended up scaring her.  Not part of his plan at all.

Caliban hadn’t even considered that she’d be awake now.  She’d been so soundly asleep when he’d carried her up from the SUV, that he figured it would be sometime the next morning before she would wake up.  Now he felt guilt deep for scaring her, after the day she’d had and the storm the night before.  He was going to have to work on doing better.

“I…I  just woke up a few minutes ago.  I was trying to get my bearings, I guess I was a little on edge.”  She admitted sheepishly, having a little trouble getting all the words out smoothly, and still feeling that she had been overreacting to being alone.   Her back was still against the wall, using it for support as her heart slowed as did her breathing,  and she hadn't moved. “You just startled me, that’s all.  I guess I wasn't fully awake yet.  Are we at your cabin?  It sounded like it was going to take a long time when you were talking earlier, but I don’t know how long I was asleep.”  She had assumed that they had made it, but wanted to ask just to be sure.  When he had spoken of it earlier, she had been very tired and still under the effects of the pain medication, so she might have misunderstood him,

“No, both Lars and Marcin were getting tired, so rather than chance an accident, we stopped at Theron’s hunting cabin that is about half way.  We are going to stay here till nightfall again so no one sees us traveling.  It will be dawn in a couple of hours or so.  The men are going to sleep downstairs, for a while, in a couple bedrooms,  and I was going to rest up here with you. I didn’t think you’d want to be alone, and thought you’d prefer me to one of them.”  Caliban remembered her wanting him to be the one to take her back up to the house instead of Theron.  He could be wrong, but she seemed to be more comfortable around him, and more trusting of him than the others.  

“If you don’t feel like resting more, Theron has a library downstairs with a TV that is hooked up to Netflix and Hulu, if you’d prefer to watch a movie or show.  I can’t guarantee what is in the kitchen, since he wasn’t planning on anyone staying here, but there should at least be coffee.  It’s only about 4 AM though.  If you’d like Marcin or Lars, I can get them.  I want you to be comfortable, sweetheart”  Caliban kept his voice low as his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he could barely make her out on the other side of the room.  He hoped he’d let her make his mistake up to her, but would understand if she would prefer one of the others at the moment.  The way the day had gone, he’d do anything for her to make up for what Kondrat had done. It was not in his nature to be so protective over someone, but then again, she wasn’t just anyone and from their first meeting she had him doing things that weren’t normal for him.  Part of that was Mircea outright lying about why he wanted her dead, lying was one thing that Caliban didn’t take lightly.   

Adira nodded slowly along with what he was saying. “I’d prefer to rest for a little while longer, since you’re up here.  I don’t feel like being alone right now.  I’d rather stay up here with you than one of them.”  She admitted, glad he couldn’t see her cheeks in the dark, because from the way they were feeling heated, there was no doubt that they were pinked.  There was something about being around him that made her feel warm and safe, something that made her want to stay close to him.  She just hoped that she didn’t make him feel like she was too clingy. Mircea hated her wanting to be around him all the time.  

If Adira could have seen Caliban's face, she would have seen him smile.  Her phrasing pleased him.  She wanted to be with him.  Who was he to deny a beautiful woman?

“If you’d like to get into something more comfortable to wear, I brought one of your bags with me.  I tried,” he cleared his throat with a cough, “to pick you out some sleeping clothes that I thought you would prefer.”  He tried not to let his mind wander back to the pieces that he had skipped.  Obviously his staff had anticipated more romantic nights between the couple than what he planned for the current trip. Lace and satin seemed a bit presumptuous given how things had gone so far.  “If you’re ready, I’ll turn on this small lamp over here, it won’t make it too bright. This way you can at least see what you’re doing.”

When Adira had made a sound to indicate that she was fine with that, the lamp snapped on, and the room was bathed in a very low, soft, orange-yellow light from the lamp’s bulb through the shade.  It made the room feel warm and comfortable, highlighting the timber walls and the rustic cabin feel of it.  Adira blinked a few times to adjust to the light, and she could tell by looking, though, that this was far from a rough-hewn rustic cabin, the finishing on everything told her that it was expensive and well made, just made to look old and rustic.  There was something comforting about it though, homey.

Caliban put her bag on the side of the bed closest to her, tossing his own onto the other side before slowly approaching her.  After startling her entering the room, he didn’t want to throw her off balance any more, and he could tell she was still nervous.  He was concerned about her.  

Also on his mind was that while she had been sleeping back at the estate, he and Theron had a long discussion about things between he and Adira.  He’d come to look at things a tad bit different than before, and wanted to make sure that she never felt forced, intimidated, rushed, or in any way like there was something she HAD to do in order to be safe.  Both he and Theron wanted her in their operations for her business sense, Caliban also enjoyed the easy report she shared with both of them, and that she was beautiful only added a benefit to it.  For some reason, already there seemed to be something developing between Adira and Caliban, but neither of them wanted her to feel forced to make something work if it organically would not have.  Both agreed that the poor woman had been through enough trauma, that she would need time to process it all, and know for sure WHAT her thoughts and feelings were on ANYTHING. Caliban had been protecting her and keeping her safe, it would be natural to her to be drawn to that alone.  Things should move slowly so that wasn’t taken advantage of, in case things changed as she became more comfortable.

Theron also picked at Caliban’s motives for not killing her.  Yes, Mircea had lied about why he wanted Adira dead, but it was not like the circles that they ran in were always truthful.  But the whole scene in the basement had been wrong, very WRONG, and you didn’t send Caliban Andros into a situation like that and not face consequences.  Mircea’s were coming.  Adira surviving was part of that, or at least that is how it started out.

Adira stood watching him as he drew nearer, a little unsure of, well, everything.  Her thoughts, feelings, emotions..everything, felt so off kilter since he's showed up in her life.   Things the night before had felt so natural between them, both in his office and then later during the storm, after a rescue that still made no sense to her. That morning before he’d gone down to his office had felt much the same, but was it all in her head?  Was he just trying to make it seem like he was interested and caring?  Could he be like Mircea, and the soft would come before the pain?  She knew that he could be just as violent, she’d seen that at the house where he’d rescued her from.  She wanted to believe him that she was safe, and he cared for her, but did he?  Was she deluding herself, and he really found her as annoying as Mircea had?  Would he turn on her too?  She had never loved Mircea; but she could see herself falling for someone like Caliban, what if he actually had no interest in her? What if she was being stupid all over again with her emotions?  What if he laughed at her?  After all, what had he been doing down in that basement?  Why had he freed her?  What was he doing now?  What was she?

As the thoughts were going through her head, Adira’s breathing increased.  Her eyes darted around the room, focussing and stilling on nothing.  No longer was she hearing what Caliban was saying, she had turned inwards to her fears.  The sound of the blood rushing through her ears overpowered everything else.  Her vision started to swim and then narrow.  She was hyperventilating.  

“Adira?!”  Suddenly Caliban’s concerned face was very close to hers, his voice matched his very worried expression, and his hands gripped her upper arms as he shook her very delicately.  “Are you okay?  You almost seemed to be panicking, sweetheart.  You didn't seem to be hearing me. What's wrong?”  When she started to nod but said nothing, he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her to hold her tight to him, one hand cradling her head to his shoulder.  “It’s okay, whatever happened, you’re safe now. I promise, you’re safe.  I am not going to let anything or anyone hurt you.  Just let whatever it was go, it can’t hurt you.”  What had just happened?  He was going to need to get Theron to set up some Zoom appointments with one of their therapists for her.  She needed someone that could help her with the trauma Mircea had inflicted, and then Kondrat as well.

“Do you need another pill to help you relax, sweetheart?  Something strong to drink?  I know that this day wasn’t what we talked about last night.  Tell me what you need me to do for you.  What can I do to help you?”  He softly kissed her temple.  Guilt for her being upset was welling up inside him.  He had promised to keep her safe and while he had kept that promise physically, mentally was another matter.  The slight tremble in her made him hate himself again. 

“I’m…I’m sorry, Caliban.  I guess I zoned out for a minute or something.”  She didn’t know how to tell him all the doubts and fears that were tumbling through her mind without sounding childish and foolish.  Tears threatened to fall, her emotions were such a mess, and she couldn’t seem to get a hold on them.  No matter what she tried, it seemed to just make her feel more unstable, except when his arms were around her.  Her hands lightly fisted the material of his suit coat in hopes he wouldn't pull away yet.  She could only hope that his patience would not run out on her the way that Mircea’s so often had.  

“I…I’ll be fine.  I think it’s just going to take a while for it all to settle in.  I’m sorry, I keep messing up your life, especially today.  I know I’m a mess. Please don’t give up on me, I’m trying.  I promise I'm not trying to upset you.”  Her breath stuttered as she fought another wave of panic and tears.  Her hands tightened on the back of his jacket, and another small tremble went through her as she prepared for rejection. 

“Give up on you?”  Caliban was left almost speechless, and was once again enraged at the fears this beautiful and sweet woman had forced into her head by her ex.  “There is not a chance of that.  Understand me?”  He kissed her forehead, also gently rubbing her bak.  “No more apologies for being upset or emotional either.  The last two days have been a lot, and I’m not going anywhere.  So lean on me when you need to, that’s what I’ll always be here for.” His hold once more tightened around her, wanting her to feel safe and secure in his arms.  He needed her to know she had nothing to fear by coming to him about anything.  Why he kept feeling this way, he wasn’t sure himself still; but he did.  “There isn’t one thing you’ve messed up in my life. Like I said before, I now have an intelligent, sensitive, and beautiful woman who I enjoy being around to share my life with for the foreseeable future, or till you get tired of me, so I don’t see a downside to this.”  Softly Caliban kissed her forehead, then laid his cheek against the top of her head as he tried to sooth her more.  

Adira wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled her head against his chest, suddenly fighting tears that she wasn’t quite sure where they came from.  At times she saw everything from the day in slow and excruciating detail, at other times it seemed all to have been a big blur.  Even after his guards had rescued her from Kondrat’s grasp and she knew he was dead, it was not until she had seen Caliban’s face in the gatehouse that she had truly felt safe again.  Even if she’d only known him for two days, she trusted him.  

“I know.  I feel safest when I’m with you, I just worry you’ll be the one getting tired of me.”  Her voice was small and soft, muffled slightly by his shirt.  Even with all of the thoughts that had been bouncing around in her head earlier, she would not deny the truth.  Caliban calmed and reassured her just by his presence.  She knew that Theron and the guards would do their best to keep her safe, and that they would do whatever they could to make sure she had whatever she needed; but it was Caliban that settled her soul.  He had been the one who knew that she would choose death, truly, over going back to Mircea, and he had made the choice to give her a new life instead of the death she’d asked for.  He had taken her out of that basement, used his own body to shield her from the bullets that had been thicker in the air than mosquitoes in the Mississippi summer night air, the first one to really make her feel safe since she was a small child. He had held her when she was scared of a storm,  and she had been able to see the duality of his anger and his concern over her being hurt earlier in the day.  No matter what else Caliban Andros was, he was her protector, of that she was sure.

“Because you are and always will be safe.  I promise.  I’ll take care of you, sweetheart.  No worrying, I won’t hear of it.  Understand?”  He hated hearing fear and uncertainty in her voice. Her asking him not to give up on her made him want to hunt down Mircea that day and painfully end his life.  It was no secret to him now what damage Mircea had done to her physically, he could only guess at emotionally and mentally.   “Why don’t you go get changed then we can rest and you can relax again.  Okay?”  Another soft kiss to the top of her head.

Adira nodded before loosening her hold on him and starting to back up.  Caliban gently caressed the side of her face one more time before heading around to the other side of the bed to where his bag was.  She watched him before opening the one had put down for her and unzipping it to pull out a soft set of sage jersey pajamas.  She set them aside before zipping the bag up and putting it on the floor.  Then she grabbed them and headed into the bathroom.

The soft click of the bathroom door had Caliban’s eyes closing as he let out a deep breath.  Every moment he was around her, he found himself caring more for her.  She seemed so innocent for someone who he knew had spent many years with one of the most violent men to ever exist in his type of lifestyle.  Part of him suspected it was not innocence, but a learned fear and not ever questioning or challenging.  He and Theron would teach her to get over that as they drew her in deeper to the operations of both their legitimate and underworld operations. Adira would be given her voice back and allowed to have her own freedom. They would also keep her safe and protected as they did so.  For some reason the thought that her freedom could mean her leaving his personal life didn't set well with him.