#wirld healing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

onmymasa22 · 1 month ago

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Write down ur future goals

I have a lovely life. I wear nice clothes. I wear nice jewelry. I love noce stuff.

Tell me about a day in my future life based onq

What i never said, but i mean ti say is: i dont want u in my life. I was better off before u were in my life, and ill b better off after i clean my head from u. I need a major cleaning. Cuz i shouldve thrown u out before. Half a year ago. In my life, u are all worthless. Ur not on my level. Im nice, so i didnt kick u out, and i dont like change or goodbyes. But i need to just move on from u. I need to just be who i am, with out loser guys around me. Im so much better than that. I still want the nice guy. Not the slick guy, not the loser cant wake up in the morning, not the complainer. Just get the fuck away from me. Stop talking to me. Move the fuck on, let me go. U had ur shot. U missed it. Now stop talking to me.

Most people who go to college for education want to teach elemary or highschool kids. Lots of people around me like these ages. I think my issue is that i have no respect for them. The lack of respect causes my lack of patience. I dont respect teenagers. To me, theyre idiots. Theres no bigger idiot in the world than a teen, myself at 15 included. Everything is drama u cant figure out, its all the end of the wirld, ur the stupidest, most ugly, worst self esteemed individual, and everyone is like that. U have oily hair, teeth that dont make sense or hurt, ur either the annoying one who needs to be in every picture, or ur the one who thinks ur so cool and cant he in any picture. I hated people when i was that age, why would i want to be around that again. I like old people.

The amount of times my hearing was mistaken this holiday with a loud family that never let's something funny slide, we can all do like guitar riffs with it at each other

In my family we all know how to jam out to guitar riffs but with jokes. We are all loud and all of us have humor that can go from dark, to old jewish. But because its like a guitar riff jam, everyone literally collaberates to a "stand up set" improve style until everyone laughs so hard they're tearing up. That's a normal weekend in my family.

A yom tov where my family is together means putting a bunch of people with loud personalities who all have a sense of humor to the extreme where everything can be funny. Like ive been with some families where u need to be obnoxious, or a health freak, or deal with the weird uncle who drunk and talking nonsense but theyre assuring u that he is actually very smart (which is like when people say their weed is "the good stuff", it never is. When they tell u he is "very smart", he isn't). In my family, u need a sense of humor that can match everyone. We ll have different ways that we're funny-im the most made fun of between everyone and im almost non offendable, and i make it funnier.

what i learned about ppl who sell weed- if they tell u its high quality, it never is.

Like how in some families, u need to be vegetarian or obnoxious to make it, at my house u need a sense of humor and to be

I cry way more then i used to. Usually when im emotional. I was never a cry at movies or books or songs kind of person. I knew my grandmother as that person. Everything made her cry. And after i accomplished lots of healing, breaking cycles, letting go of unhealthy relationships, therapy, throwing myself into learning new skills even when it was more boring than a crazy night. I really thought id never feel happy again. I was so numb yet emotionally raw at the same time. I thought boring normal relationships or doing things where i wasnt almost dying, never knew how the night would go so took a toothbrush life. That was what my life became. And in my own time, through my own decisions, i gave therapy a shot. And i still didnt think id ever be happy with normal. I threw myself into learning guitar. It was always something i was interested in, from elementary school, someone brought one and played and i was in awe of it. Kind of like i was in awe of someone speaking hebrew which i also learned.

Im just proud that i chose life. After a long time of choosing death. This year, i chose life. This next year, i want to choose life too.

This year i want to choose life.

I want to be fully committed to myself, being guided by halacha.

I will choose life.

I will get a job that feeds my passions.

I will have enough money to live and extra to give and live nicely.

I will battle each day that the demons show up. I will fight to live a healthy boring life.

In my life right now, healthy doesnt mean eating salads everyday. It doesn't mean going to the gym. It doesn't mean counting calories, or being a runner, or owning a stanley cup thing. Healthy means

I had to learn this:

Treat people according to who u r, not according to who they r.

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visd3stele · 9 months ago

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ok ok ok hear me out

Lucien hunting the Suriel (to ask about his mating bond, like how can he make it go away for good, no string attatched even if rejected, so he won't go mad, for a romance driven fic or to ask about Vassa's curse/some other problem he runs in and has to fix as emissary in the Human Realms for a more plot driven fic)

the Suriel refuses to answer (like hurts themselves to not speak to him)

then Lucien asks why, what's going on, they have to answer and the Suriel can't hold it in anymore and tells him "You cannot know this much, you have too much power"

then your thing happens and Lucien recoils (because he doesn't like when people, especially powerful creatures, mention his mother)

then he goes to Day Court because they're known for knowledge there and maybe he can find something useful

and Helion decides to help him, because he looks so much like Audha (name that means fire, the name of a celtic sun god, to which i added an a at the end to make it feminine and my headcanon for loa's name)

they embark together on this adventure that is one sided awkward (bcs lucien doesn't know why helion acts so stiff and weird around him)

throw some ✨️trauma✨️ humor in too

maybe lucien thinks he's not proper enough in the presence of a High Lord, but helion is the easy going type, so Lucien thinks he's not casual enough and he tries to adjust himself because that's what he was expected to do his whole life

then he thinks that maybe helion doesn't like him bcs he's friends with rhysand and the ic and they don't like him

anyway, at some point helion figures it out and abandones lucien to deal with this new info

lucien gets hurt

elain can feel it, sends some help (for the romance plot, maybe some chapters from her pov, some dreams that are actually visions, from past, present and future)

lucien is taken to the nc where helion comes to retrieve him

they talk, lucien finds out about his ancestry and thinks this is why the suriel told him he has more than one birthright

but then, Audha shows up

she heard rumors of helion and lucien being together and she's mortified

cue some wirld building: before prythia was split in 7 courts, it was ruled by a high king

a fae of light and fire, burning the evil of their world and sheding warmth and light so the good could grow

but power hungry people plotted in the shadows, killing the last of this golden dynasty's kings and his wife, the high queen

one of his children survived (very Anastasia Romanov coded) and she is Audha'a grandmother

the traitors spread the power of prythia to 7 high lords: fire, light, water, shadows, healing, shape-shifting and cold? snow? ice? whatever is kalias' power

but lucien, as the high king's descendant, could claim that throne

on a niche twist of current hyperfixation (dune and lucien) I offer the possibly of getting a scene with lucien and some other all knowing entity we all know sarah can wip out of thin air.

imagine:

Enity: You inherit too much power.

Lucien: What, because I am Berons son?

Entity: Because you are your mother’s son! you have more than one birthright, boy.

#lucien vanserra #a court of thorns and roses #pro lucien vanserra #acotar

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