#wings plays botw

[ganondoodle]

even if i didnt love botw as much as i do, totk drives me nuts bc, similarly to pokemon, this series is so SO SO full of potential, they have so many games they can pull from, theres so many themes, characters and worldbuilding thats just left to rot, you dont need to connect anything with a chain to old titles, you dont need to bring back any things that already had their ending, but PLEASE harness at least a fraction of all this!!!! and they just refuse to do it beyond shallow references

totk jsut drives it all home to me, bc this isnt just the next game in the franchise, but a DIRECT SEQUEL no 10 years apart from botw, yet they cant even, they REFUSE to even keep the continuity with its OWN lore it established in botw together, and that, i think, is what truly makes me so insane (derogatory) about totk

it PROVES they do not care, they dont care to build on anything of the lore of old titles beyond references in form of amiibos or whatever, they dont even care to make a sequel to their most successful game in the franchise coherent with its own lore

botw established a captivating detailed world full of potential, while lacking in active storytelling, it had environmental storytelling, characters and ideas that were the perfect ground to build on-

and then they do away with it bc idk .. they want you to build mechs and make videos of it that go viral and thats all they care about or something

shiekah tech? forget that existed character being the character you know? act as if you are seeing them for the first time just like they are lame story? dont think about that just be distracted by the epic presentation of it lore the previous title established? forget that, all that matters is what is here and now beloved character from old games beign brought back? hes a new guy and has no background and no lore and just sits waiting for you at the end to have a flashy fight with references from old titles and their lore? just here for nostalgie bait, dont you remember? you LOVE this series, now give me 70 bucks for a glorified DLC that ruins what you loved about the series and makes you realize that nothign matters and nothing is interesting anymore

you are supposed to take it all at face value, to not think about anything, to see a character say something and just go with it, and forget it the second its over, be distracted by good music and pretty visuals, but dont think about, dont think about anything but what is directly said to you like you have no critical thinking skills, forget there was a game before this one, only the one you play matters, empty your skull and dont let yourself feel anything but what the game tells you to feel

if they dont even care to make the sequel to their most successful game actually build on the previous title, dont even care to keep their continuity of two games supposedly directly happening one after the other in tact- maybe they never cared, and all the meaning we thought we saw them build into their games was all accidental and meaningless

and that is absolutely soul crushing for fans like me to discover

its a game. its not a story, its not a world, its not themes, its not characters, its not lore. its a product made to make you pay money, not to make you think about anything.

[softichill]

I continue to be overwhelmed by and bad at open world games but I'm also having fun so idc

[outw4rd]

honestly playing botw in spanish (my second language i’m not very good at) is WAY more fun than playing in english. i have to pull out a notebook to translate the expository dialogue. i have to think about kass’s puzzles. i get to hear how characters sound in spanish and look forward to finding and seeing the memories again. it’s like everything is a little puzzle when you’re translating. if you’re learning a language i would highly recommend playing a video game you’ve spent a lot of time with in that language. good for learning!

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR PUNS REVALI

[noxtivagus]

I LOVE ZACK FAIR 😭😭

[vampire-wizard-solidarity]

a lot of people have already pointed out how totk has a lot of themes of imperialism and generally leans conservative ideologically, but what i think is interesting is how totk subtly redefines what a “researcher” is.

zelda wants to be a researcher in botw, and what this means in the context of botw is largely someone who works with sheikah technology. she wants to figure out ancient sheikah tech, she has an interest in botany and otherwise nature and biology (the whole silent princess and the frog thing), robbie and purah, the two characters who are the closest to us seeing what a researcher in the context of botw is are basically inventors. in totk, however, the main researchers who are presented to us are all historians.

this is an interesting pivot, because in botw zelda is not really interested in history. if anything, the one who’s deeply concerned with history is rhoam, wanting to preserve historical tradition and his uncritical reliance on said tradition and historical precedent is what leads them to their doom. in botw, zelda is narratively opposed to history, if anything, all the ancient tech backfires on them and traditions fail to awaken zelda’s power. zelda’s urge to be a researcher is in wanting to understand the world around her, not just blindly follow ancient plans but rather have agency within them.

totk, however, is obsessed with ancient plans. the only real moment where zelda gets to geek out in totk is her getting all giddy about finding out more about the divine origins of hyrule. all the researchers in the game are concerned with finding out more about the zonai. since all the mentions of ancient sheikah technology are scrubbed from the game purah and robbie read more as strange outliers, the sheikah slate is no longer, now it’s the purah pad, a product of purah rather than something larger. the whole game is literally about following an ancient plan, a plan most characters don’t fully understand as they sign up for it. totk’s main story is built on confusion, on the characters not knowing what’s fully going on but having faith in ancient sages telling them what to do. in botw, following ancient plans you don’t fully understand was the thing that doomed you. in totk, following ancient plans you don’t fully understand is the gimmick.

that juxtaposition between the two games has an ideological through line: botw posits that progress is necessary. mindlessly relying on tradition doesn’t work. prophecies are omens, not instructions. history must be learnt from, not repeated. the ancient sheikah aren’t a group to be emulated, but rather to be learnt from, considering their machinery backfired and the royal family betrayed them. totk, however, is obsessed with the mythical history of hyrule, a time where everything was idyllic until one bad man showed up, a time we must emulate in order to win. i already talked about how the past in totk is zelda’s life pre calamity but better here, but that also plays into the idolisation of that era and its royalty. in botw, even the myth of the first calamity preserves the fact that the yiga clan has origins in the royal’s family persecution of the sheikah, even the time when they successfully held back the calamity is tinged with mistakes that still affect the world ten thousand years later. in totk, ganondorf’s origins are nebulous. nobody provoked him, nobody did anything wrong, he’s just evil because he is.

a lot of right wing ideologies are hinged on preservation, but more than that: the belief in the nebulous mythical past in which everything was better. “make america great again”, the fascist’s idolisation of ancient rome which is represented largely inaccurately, look at any conservative rhetoric and you’ll see people complaining about how things nowadays are ruined or are being ruined, how in the past things were this way and they’re not anymore, which is bad. the belief in the fact that in some past period we were great and are not anymore, and the strive to emulate that past is a trait highly typical of right wing ideologies. and in totk the past as a great era is an idea presented completely uncritically, the narrative is entirely controlled by the game and doesn’t dwell on any of the inconsistencies in this idea.

now, obviously, not every story in which a great ancient era exists is fascist, right wing or conservative. but to me what’s interesting specifically in totk is this shift between the two games: botw is critical of the past. it’s critical of arrogantly repeating history, it’s critical of having blind faith in great relics of the past. totk isn’t. totk idolizes the past, totk tells legends and tells you to believe them without any doubts. botw believes researchers are those who seek to understand the world, innovate it and solve problems without relying on ancient ways. totk believes researchers are those who discover ancient instructions, ancient ways and relay them to great men in the present to be followed. the four mainline regional quests in botw are about discovering four ancient relics that are terrorising the land and fixing the mistakes of the past. the four mainline regional quests in totk are about discovering four ancient legends are true, and receiving instructions from an ancient sage on what to do.

totk is not simply neutral, it is ideologically conservative in stark contrast to botw, because of the things it chooses to leave uncriticised, notably the things botw was very poignant about examining critically. the way totk redefines what is a researcher is indicative of this, indicative of the way it chooses to idolize or present as an unexamined good that which was nuanced in botw. totk isn’t just conservative in the sense that it presents uncritically a “good king” and “evil conquerer”, it goes deeper, it’s notable because botw was starkly opposed to the thematic axioms totk presents.

i just think it’s very interesting that they made a sequel to botw, and completely redefined or otherwise ignored botw’s thematic core.

[artemistorm]

A post in which I talk about how I, a Wild-centric fanfic author, like to characterize Wild /pos

So I've read a TON of Wild fics. Not all of them, but a whole bunch, and let me tell you, I love every version of Wild, every characterization. Brooding and angsty? Cool! Goofy and silly? Heck yeah! Competent experienced knight? Awesome! Feral gremlin? One of my favorites! I like kid!Wild, fox!Wild, wolf!Wild, winged!Wild, and every other variation I've come across.

So when I wanted to start writing Wild fics, I had to decide what way I wanted to portray him as: what felt right to me, what agreed with LU canon, what agreed with the game(s)... It was quite the head scratcher because all of those ways I mentioned earlier are valid and logical conclusions. I thought about it alot and this is what I came up with:

In BotW, Wild’s personality is primarily defined by two factors: his previous training or “programming” as a royal knight which although isn’t remembered, it is still there, serving as the framework guiding his thoughts and actions, and by his lack of memory (and baggage) and childlike lack of knowledge and experience of the world (remember when you started the game and he didn't know what an apple or a stick was?).

I had a breakthrough though when I was watching a BotW Let’s Play: I realized that Wild is basically every BotW Let’s Player ever (actually, every player) because everyone starts Breath of the Wild with their own life experiences guiding their thought processes and actions but they come to the game with no knowledge of how anything works in the game or what the story is.

So, all I had to do is write Wild like how I play him, or how my favorite Let’s Players play him: lighthearted and cheerful, pretty clueless about social interaction, wanting to help others but not knowing how to beyond providing practical help, logical and strategic problem solver but without memories, he ends up doing things in unorthodox ways. He's a talented fighter and can use any weapon, but big picture battle strategy is not his strong suit. He's a sticky-fingered goblin in the towns but he's always very helpful to anyone he meets.

While I do tend to write him as more the silly, goofy, gremlin style, I do recognize and include that he does have a troubled past, and he can be dramatically angsty and he does go wordless sometimes, but I figure there's a threshold for it. He's normally very resilient and bounces back easily from "Oh man, what an intense memory that was" to "ooh shiny carrot! Mine now!"

But there's a point when things get tough and he drops below the "bounce back" level, he can revert to his old knightly ways of silence, emotional suppression, anxiety, self-sacrificial tendencies, plus the troubles of having only 1-2 years-worth of memory/experience (and ADHD) like issues with emotional regulation, conflict resolution, excessive guilt, confusion, flashbacks, etc. I figure it takes a lot to knock him down to that level, but when it does happen, it takes a lot of time and support for him to revert back to his usual happy-go-lucky self.

In summary, to me, Wild is a cheerful goofy teenager, a scrappy and competent fighter, a knight with a troubled past, and a good kid.

******

What's you favorite way to portray Wild? I'd love to hear it. (But please keep your thoughts to yourself if you're going to be critical, a Wild hater, or if your input starts with "I dislike/hate it when..." I'd like to keep this post as positive as possible.)

[igneouswyvern]

The funniest thing about the zelda series to me is the way that the Great Fairy designs differ so WILDLY from game to game like

We got everybody's favorite ocarina of time design:

Nice and sexualized, skimpy clothing, weird ass hair, fucking massive in relation to link. Always hated this design, 1/10

(didn't intend to rate them when I started this post but here we are now ig)

You got the alttp and albw designs:

In the first one she looks all right, second one she looks like a child for some reason? Tiny. Barely any larger than link himself. How am I supposed to take her seriously 4/10

Breath of the wild design next:

Girl you are. HUGE. Hi????? Pretty oversexualized too like oh my god she is fantastic porn bait but like. I respect this design I'm ngl. Fucking massive sexy bastard could probably crush my head with her thumb and forefinger. 7/10

Twilight princess design:

Uh.....huh. Hey girl, how many wings you got there? Also would you mind putting on a shirt? Please and thanks? 3/10

Then we got wind waker:

????? Hello girl, may I ask, what the hell? Why do you have so many arms. Where are your legs. Fi lookin ass, kinda? Barely even looks like a fairy. 5/10

NOW. I JUST STARTED PLAYING MINISH CAP AND I FOUND OUT WHAT THE GREAT FAIRY'S DESIGN IS IN THAT GAME. AND I ALSO LOOKED AND FOUR SWORDS DESIGN IS THE SAME. MAY I PRESENT TO YOU:

Four swords/minish cap design:

Holy crap?????? Absolutely gorgeous. There's three and they're all based off of insects. But holy shit they look amazing. They're so regal and dignified, they don't look like children like the albw design, they're not oversexualized like oot and botw, they're beautiful. My jaw dropped when I saw the butterfly fairy in minish cap I was like holy fucking shit. THIS is what a great fairy should look like. So fucking beautiful. My wife I love her so much easiest 10/10 of my life

[emerald-dragonflame]

I took way too much time on this. And with all that, accidentally made Link right handed.... I have no one but myself to blame.

Phantom Hourglass is one of the more unknown Legend of Zelda games that I personally enjoy quite a bit, and have a lot of nostalgia for. Mostly due to the fact that it was the very first time I created an actual OC for it. And that, right there, is the half Rito with the broken wing.

Her name is Hanna, and if you've been with me for a hot minute, you would know that I have another Rito OC for BotW/TotK also called Hanna. Well, long story short, both came from the same OC, just split into two separate games: one for BotW/TofK and the other for Phantom Hourglass, both with the same name and playing with the who Zelda thing of having the same characters in multiple games.

So, this Hanna's (PH) story is a rather simple one. Breaks her wing while flying and delivering mail, and begs both Link and Linebeck (guy with the shit-eating grin in the middle) to take her with them on their adventure. Since there's so few people sailing these days due to the Ghost Ship and people getting kidnapped. After some convincing, she's allowed to join, as ship navigator, and cook.

I had some ideas on how she could fit into the actual game and how her story shapes out in said game (because I'm extra like that), but I decided that I wasn't gonna talk too much of you guy's ears off, so I'll just leave it at this. If you genuinely wanna know more, my inbox is always open.

[lost-at-534]

ɭ๏รՇ คՇ รєค

🌛🌞Welcome traveler. Come and sit, won't you stay a while?🌞🌜

Hello!

My name is Lost, and I'm a digital (sometimes traditional) artist! Most of what I draw circulates around whatever interest (usually game) is currently gripping my brain, but I do love a good Creature or two as well.

✨Games I'm interested in✨

in no particular order

Hollow Knight

Sky: Children of the Light

Five Nights at Freddy's

Ori: tBF & Ori: WotW

Zelda: BotW & TotK

Rainworld (though I haven't tried it yet, I'd do like what little I've seen of it and plan on playing it!)

ABZÛ

☄️Book/Media Series I Enjoy☄️

Wings of Fire

Voltron: Legendary Defender

Shera and the Princesses of Power

How to Train Your Dragon (film and tv adaptation)

Howl's Moving Castle

Spirited Away

Nimona

The Mitchells vs The Machines

Avatar: the Last Airbender

The Owl House

🛸Miscellaneous Hobbies/Interests🛸

I love space 🌌 and the deep sea🪼

My favorite colour is purple💜

My favourite real animal is the Orca(sharks are close behind!), and Mythical is Dragons (specifically Japanese!🐉)

Sun and Moon are pretty much as close as it gets to what you'd call "comfort characters" for me🌞🌛

I'm learning plush sewing🧸

It is probably becoming increasing clear I use exclamation marks a lot :)

I love the notion of cryptids, and seeing both solid evidence of what lead to the beliefs of certain ones and how unexplainable and spine chilling others are 🛸

Fantasy is my favourite genre, and I hope to write a book of that genre one day!🔮(I also love to write!)

This is partially an art post partially a reblog post, so if trying to find my art specifically it should all be tagged as #my art

Finally, here is my current Sona, Lost ✨🌌

Wishing everyone a Happy Day!!

[blueskittlesart]

Hello! Do you have any theories/thoughts about the mystery lady in the totk trailer? I am so so normal about her (and your painting of her made me EVEN MORE normal) and I keep looking up things about her but she doesn’t have a tag so I have to go into the HYLIA tag even though I really don’t think she is Hylia. Also I’ve been reading your loz doc and your takes are totally not occupying my brain at the moment. Sorry, all of that to say that if you have thoughts about the mystery lady I would love to hear them

YES. i am almost completely convinced that she's NOT hylia and is in fact the earlier zelda mentioned in botw. visually analyzing her character, we see a lot more similarities to other ZELDA designs than depictions of hylia (and yes i know there's deliberate overlap, but they do each have distinguishing features which i will get into.)

here's my breakdown of specific visual elements associated with hylia vs zelda. hylia portrayals will almost always have a double-layered dress with that specific overskirt drape, long, robelike flowy sleeves, and a deep U neckline. zeldas (when in formal dress) will almost always have that boxy neckline, a circlet-like crown with a gemstone inlaid in the middle, a belt with a large circular buckle/brooch in the middle, and a detached hanging drape over the middle of their skirt. several of the zeldas also have noticeable large earrings, and wind waker zelda specifically has little wing-like accessories on either side of her head.

comparing the shot of the mystery girl from the latest trailer, she seems to have a lot more in common visually speaking with our zeldas than our hylias.

from a purely character design standpoint, visually this character evokes "zelda" much more than "hylia." she also bears distinct similarities to the image we are shown of the long-dead princess in the botw cutscene:

notably, the long wavy blonde hair, darker skintone, and sleeveless white dress (again, assuming her dress is the same one we see OUR zelda wearing.)

this is consistent with other clues we've been given about the plot so far--we've seen link clearly wearing an outfit meant to evoke the past hero mentioned in that cutscene, down to the weird stuff going on with his arm:

so if we know that our link is gonna be taking on some of the appearance of the long-dead hero, i don't think it's too much of a logical leap to assume that the girl who's matching outfits with our zelda is the long-dead princess.

as for WHY she's shown and what her narrative significance is, well. i have theories. i think both she and her respective hero are gonna play a pretty big role in totk. more info here & here if you're interested. but tldr that's why i think she's a zelda and not hylia lol

[snekthedemonnoodle]

intro time!💪

about me :)

-my name is snek! i'm queer and genderflux🐍❤️

-my reblog account is @sneksspam, here i will just post original stuff, maybe the occasional spam reblog, tag game, or something thats important

-certified yapper, in high school, proud blåhaj owner, and poet🦈✍️

-my current blog theme is twenty one pilots, and i went to the clancy tour in boston (night one) |-/

-im an extrovert who loves being with my friends, music, books, photography, movies, swimming, the ocean and all the creatures in it, and generally being outside in nature🫶🎵📸🎞🌊🌲

-my favorite bands and artists are ajr, negative 25, twenty one pilots, idkhow and the brobecks, half•alive, death cab for cutie, royel otis, cage the elephant, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, and john teti. 🎧

-movies, shows, and that sorta stuff i love consist of muppets most wanted, scott pilgrim vs the world and scott pilgrim takes off, sing street, the song of the sea, all studio ghibli movies, kill bill 1 & 2, helluva boss, hazbin hotel, empires SMP (mainly s1), avatar and the legend of korra, and mamma mia! i play legend of zelda. (botw > totk. sorry but i am right.)🎬

-my favorite books are percy jackson and heroes of olympus, wings of fire, the invisible life of addie larue, the defy the night series, solitaire, radio silence and alice oseman books in general, the folk of the air series, the lord of the rings, the song of achilles, simon vs the homo sapiens agenda, and also becky albertalli books in general.📚

tags :p

-my original posts/posts where i just yap are tagged under #snek talks too much

-my poems are tagged under #sneks original poems

-memes i make are tagged under #sneks original memes

-posts related to my very lovely irl @itsm3m00n are tagged under #haha ball knocker

-posts related to @gummy-axolotl are tagged under #love ya gummy

-posts related to @shreysheep are tagged under #the shrey tag!! :o

thats all! have an amazing day, and stay alive |-/ <3

[eaglebow09]

Look Back (Revali x OC Anya) BOTW

I finally delved into playing with shading. My third chapter will be filled with new techniques and approaches. I want to flesh it out more, give depth and have been inspired by my other artistic friends online to explore my horizons. Hope you like the new look ^_^ ------------------------------------------- The rain poured relentlessly from the dark, stormy sky, drenching the battlefield where Anya stood victorious over the defeated ambush of monsters. Her silver hair clung to her forehead, mingling with the sweat and raindrops that glistened on her skin. Blood dripped from her twin blades, a gift from Urbosa, pooling at her feet as a testament to the fierce battle she had just endured. Despite the harsh conditions, there was a fire in her eyes, a determination that refused to be extinguished.

Revali, stood nearby, his feathers ruffled and his wings drooping with weariness from the ferocious fight. He couldn't deny the awe that gripped him, though it was begrudging at best. Anya, whom he had once cast aside as a burden, a lost cause, had just proven herself in the most spectacular fashion.

Memories of his cruelty towards her resurfaced in his mind, and he winced at the recollection. He had abandoned her in the past, severed their ties without a second thought, convinced she was a liability. His arrogance had led him to believe she would never amount to anything. But now, as he watched her standing tall amidst the fallen monsters, he realized the depth of his mistake.

She had always been close behind, shadowing him, despite his attempts to leave her in his wake. Her determination, her grit, and her unwavering resolve had kept her moving forward, striving to prove herself. And in that moment, she had done just that. Revali couldn't help but admire her strength and tenacity, though he knew to keep such emotions to himself.

Anya held her gaze downward at her defeated foes, her emerald eyes shimmering in the torch light. He knew then, in that moment, that she had been fighting all along. 

-------------------------------------------

Comic uploaded onto my Deviantart Pg if you are interested. Chapter 3 will be done in this style thus far it's all line art. But more elaborate pages to come. Slowly getting better as long as I keep at it!

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Still upset that Teba gave Tulin the Great Eagle Bow because like, in botw Teba (or maybe Harth?) said that he physically couldn't use it, so like. How is Tulin (child) supposed to use a bow that Teba (adult) couldn't? And also the Great Eagle Bow is at least as tall as Tulin this is ridiculous

[drkineildwicks]

Okay so let’s talk about Palworld

Because I really do gotta talk about it this thing blew up

Apparently the guys who made it were expecting to sell like 300K the first week and ended up selling two million

They’re having to run damage control on the servers because the servers legit cannot handle the traffic

Last time I saw a game look like this it was Temtem on its first days

Because literally everybody underestimated how much game freak ticked off its fanbase

Which brings us to the Donphan in the room

Pokémon VS Palworld

Look we all knew going in that this was going to be a meme factory, whenever we talked about it the game is Pokémon: Gun

But it was also one of those games that popped up when GF started its stunts with dexit, reused assets, releasing half-baked games, etc.

People made fun of it and it’s stayed off the radar until this year, when it released

And yes caution should be exercised because this developer’s other game is still in early access so people are on the lookout for a scam

Not to mention the whole thing about using Pokémon assets, apparently aping Legends’ UI, the AI stuff, NFTs, a ton of other stuff

There’s apparently a whole thread on Twitter comparing and contrasting Pokémon designs with Pal designs and you can easily pick apart where assets were, if not outright stolen, were closely copied

So going in there’s a lot of weighing of pros and cons and some actual moral dilemmas as opposed to the whole fabricated BS of Hogwarts Legacy

Yes it was terrible that Rowling said *checks notes* that biological women exist and that victimized women should be allowed to dictate who is allowed in their safe spaces, these are obviously reasons to cancel somebody please don’t slip on the sarcasm there

But I’ve been watching streams of Palworld and…I want to play it???

You can look at it and 100% name that Pokémon and go okay they got THAT idea from THIS game (watching it I can list BotW, Sunkenland, and a couple others) apparently it’s the Pokémon ripoff version of Once Human

Which also ticks me off because after watching videos of that one I want to play that one too

And originally the big reason for looking more seriously at Palworld is…game freak needs to suffer

They’ve been releasing trash games for years now, the only good Pokémon game as of late is Legends Arceus and do not get me STARTED on the state that ScarVi released in

And then them having the gall to charge the price of a full game for DLC

So in order to play the ‘full game,’ you have to pay for BotW, TotK, and possibly a Mario game on top of it

Ain’t nobody got funds for that

Also the shills

I was telling Mom about all this earlier and when it came to discussing Pokémon games, even comparing them to previous Pokémon games, discussions online go like this anymore: “Well it’s not MADE for you!  It’s for kids!  Go find something else to do and quit picking on the poor multibillion dollar franchise! uwu”

And thus the people who grew up with Pokémon move on to other games, like Nexomon, Temtem, Cassette Beasts, Kindred Fates, Coromon, Palworld, etc.

Shills: “Wait no that’s illegal”

Honestly it’s like the YouTube vs Rumble or Twitter/Tumblr vs Conservative/right-wing websites thing—if you chase them off, what did you think they were going to do?

And then the design thing…a big fat part of me does not feel sorry about that

Because every single other game I listed?  The shills will look at those designs and go “what ripoffs they’re obviously Pokémon but not friend-shaped so ugly!”

So basically anything’s a ripoff, you might as well go full ripoff because the ‘fans’ are going to hate on it anyway

Also if anything even remotely shaped like a Pokémon is a ripoff, then Flamigo angers me even more because that is such a lazy design yes I’m still mad

Most of Gen IX legit looks like they asked an AI to spit out some Pokémon-shaped stuff and called it a day maybe a quarter of the ‘dex is salvageable and that’s being generous

And having spent the past year or so designing ‘mons for the DA group I help mod…three people doing designs have no problem filling a ‘dex out, the most time-consuming part of creating new Pokémon ought to be modeling the thing and once that’s down you’re good

Which means that Pokémon…has honestly asked for Palworld

Because let me tell you something—when I look at this ripoff of a game, this scam game that comes from people who think that NFTs and AI scraping and plagiarism is a good thing, that claims that every Pal that escapes from a ball had parents that never married, and I STILL want to play it over Pokémon?  When the scam game released in a better state than ScarVi?????

Pokémon drove every single customer to Palworld and because of it Palworld deserves every single one of those two million purchases

[someuncreativity]

Fuck it here’s part two of

My Ranking of How Quickly I’d Let These Fictional Men Rearrange My Organs

Still BotW/TotK edition because look at these men

You get the point, it’s gonna be hella NSFW because read the title

Oh but also this time I’m formatting the prompts like Stanzi Potenza’s “Animated Men I Would Sell My Body To At a Discount Price, The Discount Being Free Because I Would Never Make These Fine Gentlemen Pay For a Whore Like Me” series on YouTube

Cuz why not

But also this is just me thirsting after the most atrocious and/or attractive men in the Zelda universe

6. Master Kogha

This man may not be a fine dining experience, but he’s definitely worth your time for a banana or two.

A solid six-out-of-ten, the only thing that rivals your hatred for his superhero alter ego is his dad bod that puts furry artists on Twitter to shame.

They say that everything’s better with friends, and this man has a couple that would sweeten the deal, and as it happens, red spandex is absolutely up my alley.

A dork playing glorified dress-up doesn’t sound fun until his devotion to a demon king threatens an entire nation, and I am 100% here for it.

5. Revali

Fun fact, my favorite bird to eat is chicken, partially because I’m basic, but also because I could see myself sinking my canines into that cock.

His aim is im-peck-able, pun intended and unashamed, and he’s certain to get a bullseye into my heart.

I know he’s an egomaniac, but in the deep, dark, crevices of my mind, I know he’s mentally ruined. It’s the lifelong trauma and the “I can fix him” for me.

I love Rito clothing, especially since this man’s version of is the sluttiest thing on earth. After looking at him, I’m certain I’m not getting cold anytime soon.

He could treat me like the scum of the earth and I’d still be on all fours polishing his arrow free of charge. He’s like if a Disney prince realized he was a Disney prince.

4. Daruk

The only Goron I’d let pound me like a quarry, this man has warmed my heart like the fiery maw of his hometown’s tourist trap.

I could write a fifty-page essay about how this man’s kindness makes My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic look like more of a joke than it already is.

I know what I’ve said about Gorons literally crushing me to death, but as long as his words of encouragement are the last thing I hear as he erupts inside of me like Death Mountain, that’s all that really matters.

That loincloth isn’t doing much in the way of covering up his Boulder Breaker, and for that, I thank the weak fabric for its service to our nation. On the plus side, it’s white, so if he ever walks in the rain, that cloth’s purpose in life will have been fulfilled.

The fact that he has a grandson makes him not just a DILF but a GILF. In my opinion, fathers age like wine, so this is a win-win for me.

Combined with his white beard which resembles a mane more than facial hair, he’s like Santa if Santa was somehow both more and less cuddly at the same time.

And I know he’s afraid of dogs, but personally, that’s fine. I’m more of a cat person anyway.

3. Teba

Take everything I said about Revali and multiply it by the “white hair equals sexy” principle, and you have the new Rito chief.

I didn’t think it was possible to find anyone edgier than the spirit inside of the Master Sword, but here we are.

It is taking every ounce of my soul not to say “I can fix him” because clearly, I can’t and he doesn’t want me to.

. I would let him cry his heart out after nearly losing everything near and dear to him. There’s no shame, sweetie.

His wings are long, and I know of a few things that are longer. Given that he has procreated, it’s clear that the hot springs aren’t the only things that’ll be hot and steamy after a night with him.

Speaking of which, he’s a loving parent and a loving husband, which makes him a DILF, and let me tell you, the second that word becomes an adjective, the snow isn’t the only white thing covering the Hebra mountains.

If he could fly me into the skies, I would watch the sunset with him in silence as we realized the real magic was inside us all along or something like that. Whatever makes him happy, and yes, if he asks for it, that includes me swallowing a few of his bird eggs.

2. Tauro

Finally, a himbo the people can rely on.

We love seeing strong, partially-head-empty men being strong, partially-head-empty men.

Only I’m pretty sure this himbo is actually smart.

Idk I haven’t played enough or focused enough in Kakariko to find out lol

This man is investigating the ring ruins but he forgot about the ring he he to put on my finger.

He is giving “I’m going to save the world” and we love that. If you don’t, I see why- I did just say I liked villains- but I’m a double-sided coin.

Speaking of coins, flip one: head or tails? Which part of me is going to need to be replaced by Rauru? I don’t know, and quite frankly, I don’t care.

I personally have some depths for him to explore, and let me tell you, it’s gonna be the cave feeling his gloom infiltrate every orifice instead, and the cave will thank him.

His hair is giving the Hot Topic version of Melanie Martinez, and let me tell you, if I wasn’t a Crybaby, this man would have turned me.

I just love that every single Hylian around is taller than Link. I also love, however, that this man also towers over them too. Honestly, that makes things even better for me personally.

As long as Miss Papaya over there doesn’t realize that Link isn’t half the hero her grandma made him out to be, we won’t have problems. No worries here, chief, just doing some Zonai excavating.

1. King Dorephan

It’s known that this man singlehandedly defeated a Guardian, but judging by his measurements, all of which make the Empire State Building look like a stack of building blocks, it’s not hard to see how.

The leader of the Zora, this man is guaranteed to make any traveler feel right at home- hopefully, between the two logs he calls legs and the other two which he uses for other less savory deeds.

Not that I would mind, he could stretch my throat out to a time when the community will stop complaining about how the company keeps retconning the story with one and turn me into a make seahorse during conception with the other and I’d still have room. I have no shame.

If his son is a ten, he would have still been a ten before inflation.

You have to love a rich man with anatomically-correct shark organs. Jaws was really just my wake-up call after all, but not really because I like my men to talk dirty.

All I ask for in life is for this DILF to stretch me like taffy and squash me like a grape. Once that is achieved, I don’t care what Ganon does to Hyrule- I found my own sacred realm, thank you very much.