#winchester studies

[the-mpreg-guy]

Your John Winchester post was SO REAL!!!!! It's just,,, it feels like ppls no-nuance approach to abusive parents (IN FICTION!!!!!!) kind of fails to grasp why abuse experienced at their hands is so complicated and life altering. Hey, the dude who tucked me into bed and washed my hair and taught me to drive is also the dude who back handed me in the face and screamed at me to stop crying and left me at a motel for three weeks. Hey, I'm terrified of this man and I love this man and I hate this man and I need this man and he shaped me irrevocably as a person and I'm grateful and I'm disgusted by that fact. And CRUCIALLY???? I KNOW HE LOVES ME BACK!!!! HES ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE HE LOVES ME BACK!!!! SURELY THAT KNOWLEDGE IS ENOUGH??? IN MOVIES AND BOOKS AND TV THE LOVE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH!!! THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME IF ITS NOT ENOUGH!!!!

I had three paragraphs typed out and then my entire laptop crashed and burned it which feels like a sign but won't stop me from saying it all again.

Dean and John have one of THEE most interesting relationships in the entire show, which is an insane feat given that they star in maybe 4 episodes together tops (number is definitely off, but I know it ain't more than 5. Probably.) It's so delightfully nuanced, even from season one. Especially in season one. Dean "John Winchester defense attorney" Winchester spends pretty much the entire season arguing with Sam about how John did his best and that they should make up. He also can't maintain eye contact with Sam when Sam starts talking about how John never physically abused either of them, and the shapeshifter that takes on his memories implies that Dean had dreams beyond what John put on him.

Dean loves John so much. Whenever he's talking about wanting to be a family again, it includes John!! AND JOHN LOVES DEAN. People talk a lot about the first demon deal Dean makes to save Sam, but it was John who did that first!! For Dean!!! He gave up his life and his mission for his son and it was because he loved him. And he decides to spend the last ten minutes of his life telling Dean that he was sorry (WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES) that he put too much on him (before ofc putting more on him, also with tears in his eyes).

Season two is THEE Dean and John Winchester show, change my fucking mind. The fallout of John's deal sends him into the first of many suicidal dips that he experiences in the show, and he's so sad and angry all the time. I'm obsessed with Dean being furious with John for the entire season, while being devastated when he finds out his Dad went to hell for him. BUT EVEN THOUGH HE MISSES JOHN SO MUCH IT'S HIS MOM THAT HE WISHES FOR IN THE DJINN DREAM!! John isn't even there. BUT!! BUT!!! DEAN GOES TO DREAM JOHN'S GRAVE AND HE CRIES THERE IN THE DREAM. WHEN HE KNOWS HE HAS TO GO BACK HE GOES TO THE GRAVE OF HIS DAD FOR COMFORT.

Later seasons also do a phenomenal job of continuing to show how nuanced their relationship was. Dean will repeatedly say that he and Sam weren't raised right, he'll make a toast to "crappy childhoods," etc. One of his favorite dreams is also John teaching him to drive, he tells about a story where John rescued him, and he looks so fucking dead behind the eyes when another hunter asks him what John would think of him.

They both loved each other and they both knew it!! There was never a question in Dean's head whether his Dad loved him, and John never once thought that Dean didn't love him back. THEY BOTH KNEW IT WASN'T ENOUGH THOUGH. WHEN JOHN SAID GOODBYE TO DEAN AND TOLD HIM TO KILL SAM HE KNEW IT WASN'T ENOUGH. WHICH IS WHY HE CRIED. THE LOVE WAS THERE BUT IT WASN'T ENOUGH.

[im-some-lionheart]

I recently rewatched the demon dean episodes and.. the way Sam thinks Dean let Cole live as an act of mercy, when in reality Dean did it as the ultimate torture. The way Sam thinks life is a gift but Dean sees it as a curse

[mahawavy]

[strawlessandbraless]

Dean, an inch from Castiel’s face while adjusting the knot of his tie, explaining to Cas with such raw honesty that humans lie when they most want something

[destiel-wings]

the craziest thing about the mixtape is it sets up a precedent, we had no idea dean gave it to him because it didn't happen onscreen, we only knew about it because we saw castiel trying to return it.

so how many other gifts may dean have given castiel that he just kept?? whose gifting or returning wasn't crucial to the main plot and so we didn't get to see??

how many destiel scenes happened offscreen during all those years?? another example of this is them watching tombstone. so many little throwaway lines or moments here and there that basically confirm that for as much insane couple behavior we saw onscreen, there was a whole other level of offscreen insanity going on

[dreamsandcherrypie]

SOMEBODY SEDATE ME pls an thank ya

[spnstillstudies]

supernatural + hands (KO-FI♡)

[paunchsalazar]

Dean

[sailorsally]

[charbies]

hey could you maybe calm down

[the-mpreg-guy]

on a realer note i do think people forget that a huge part of the destiel equation is that cas won’t stay. like yeah we focus a lot on the fact that dean won’t ask him to, but cas never sticking around is a huge factor there

[im-some-lionheart]

something about Bobby stabbing himself while possessed to avoid killing Dean vs Dean realizing John was possessed bc he said he was proud of him

[mahawavy]

[strawlessandbraless]

Alexa play Gay Dean

[zer0expektation]

realism & lighting study with The destiel tomb scene™

+ bloody ver.

++

[nahpkmp]

how do you draw face shapes so well grrrr

Well actually...