An (extremely) oversimplified summary of AEW recently:
MJF: GIVE ME MONEY. BUY MY MERCH. PLEASE. IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET HERE AND WHILE I PROMISED TO BE MEAN, SO FAR I HAVE ONLY DONE NICE THINGS. Oh but this British mark can—
Will Ospreay: I’m the Billy goat, I got this shit in the bag. MJF? Whos that? Meh, probably nobody, who cares! Lalala!
Swerve Strickland: I am going to kill Will Ospreay at Forbidden Door. That is not hyperbole, I am physically going to kick his head off of his shoulders if he touches this belt one more goddamn time.
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Kyle O’Reilly: Am I doing this right, Mark?
Mark Briscoe: [unintelligent ramblings of a proud mad man]
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Willow Nightingale: Kris Statlander I’m gonna fuck you up, but first I need to be here for—
Orange Cassidy: EVERYONE LEFT ME AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING ANYMORE. I’m so tired… [Sobbing as Where Is My Mind plays in the background]
ZSJ from across the room: …ORANGE BOLLUCKS, TAKE YOUR TROUSERS OFF!!
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The Elite: We run this… bitch.
The Acclaimed: AYO YOUNG CUCKS, WHY DON’T YOU CHOKE ON THIS— [mic cut]
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This has been an oversimplified summary of some of the angles leading up to Forbidden Door. Thank you for your time…