#willing to make so many sacrifices (not seeing his face) when I know he is COOKING somewhere in LA or MK or London or Faenza or Perth or whe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

allmightluver · 6 months ago

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@hhbluedynamite I’m going to make separate post here to address this. Tumblr mobile is a pain and I can’t add all picture examples I want to it here goes.

This has been a debate ever since My Hero came out,

“Why are All Mights eyes black?”

There’s been multiple explanations from how his borrowed quirk works to simply his own emaciated state. I’ve come up with my own theory. It’s said the eyes are the windows to the soul. I believe All Might’s eyes grow darker the more “weight” he carries.

For example,

When All Might was a kid, his eyes were normal. White. After losing his family, rendering him an orphan, white. Even after losing Nana, still he looked normal.

And after first releasing to the public.

This is because although he’d already been thru hell and back emotionally, he’s still normal. Even with his quirk.

Then, after he’d been in the game a while, they suddenly darkened.

Why?

Because by that time, the full gravity of his position, his responsibility and the realization he was essentially alone in that place, had fully sunk in.

Because he was so over powered above everyone else, everyone including the heroes left him to take care of almost everything they felt was too hard. And because he’s a selfless person at heart without a care to his own safety, he willingly allowed it to happen without asking for help. He didn’t want to risk losing anyone else. Which is also why he didn’t take on any sidekicks.

Until Nighteye.

Vigilantes showed us Toshinori when he wasn’t being All Might. And his eyes turn back into white in his more relaxed form, albeit with tired lines beneath them. However this is when he had Nighteye to count on. And Nighteye can see the future, so perhaps he would be safe, right? Well we know what happened there.

After he and Nighteye break up go their separate ways, we never see Toshinori with white eyes again. (Unless I’m forgetting so please tell me if I am). Now he’s injured, only a handful of people to trust, and none can truly understand what he’s going through. At this time he truly is alone, and the one thing that gives him joy is slowly but surely being fizzled out within him.

All Might’s eyes continued to remain black for years. Even after giving his quirk to Izuku. He still felt the weight of the world on his shoulders because he feared for Izuku’s safety. Blamed himself for every scar and Injury the boy suffered thru. Even though he was retired, nothing had changed. In fact it was worse now, because he could do nothing to help anymore.

And then he gains support items to face AFO for the last time. He’s a distraction, a willing sacrifice to slow the monster down, and he couldn’t be happier. We see the whites of his for the first time. All through the fight we see them, shaded albeit, but they’re there.

When he speaks to Nighteye asking if this isn’t the place he was meant to die, Nighteye confirms that it is. The fact that he’s still alive makes him raise the question, why is he still here then? I’m the mentor, Izuku is a ready and worthy apprentice. He doesn’t need me anymore. I’m supposed to be dead by now. His eyes seem darker here, as if the weight and his own depression have increased again. Perhaps begrudgingly accepting his fate.

But then here after Nighteye tells him he reads too many comic books, and that there’s no way he would go out that way, we get a closer look. Although his eyes are still shrouded in black because of his emaciated state. His eyes themselves are clearer, brighter. Even if Nighteye is only in his head, his words are still bringing him hope deep down.

While being tended to medically, his eyes are dark again, though I believe this is mainly due to him barely being alive and conscious at this point. And they’re still white, more than we’re used to seeing.

Finally after the war while they’re recovering, his eyes remain white, though they’re still shaded. The weight is still present. His work isn’t done yet. Izuku is losing his quirk, and he still feels like a failure in some sense because of that. Also because he and Bakugo almost died. And because of everyone who did die in the war all because he failed to stop AFO after three tries.

People who weren’t qualified to be heroes were even involved in this battle. And he thinks it unfair to hold such high standards when there are people who can still help, even if not at the extreme levels of the top heroes. He and Deku are proof of that!

In the last chapter several years later, we finally see Old Man Might! And his eyes-they’re so bright. ❤️

Of course they’ll always have a little shadow to them because of his sunken in appearance, but the tired lines under his eyes are gone. There’s not the black bags from pushing himself too hard, just the normal wrinkles that come with age.

This is Toshinori that’s been missing for decades. The man whose impossible weight has finally been lifted off his shoulders. He knows he can finally relax, he doesn’t have to be on alert or on call anymore. The world is safe without him.

He even found a way for Izuku to keep up his hero work with a suit similar to his own during the war (though most definitely suped up).

Finally, he can be at peace. His body, soul, and mind can finally begin to heal. He can work through all of the trauma he’s been stuffing down all of his life.

Finally, he can live.

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anaconamor · 6 months ago

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judey thought idea -> ur in the blink of leaving ur bf after he repeatedly treats u wrong, though jude is madly inlove with u and will do anything for u to leave him… xx

“let me guess… he didn’t show up,” you look from your phone seeing jude approaching where you were sat on your phone. jude could see from afar that you had been arguing since due to the aggressive typing and sighs you let out at times. your face with a small frown as you read over the texts you received.

“uhh no. he was busy with work,” you lie offering a smile that jude didn’t believe.

jude scoffed inwardly, scratching his brow before walking and sitting where you were. “everyone is asking for you,” he trailed, seeing how your eyes avoided his gaze and looked towards your group of friends, laughing and talking. the void and guilty feeling resting in your stomach. thinking how the evening was meant to be cheery yet here you were discussing with your boyfriend who didn’t seem to care an ounce about you.

he began the stupid argument, gaslighting into thinking you were not spending time with him and prioritizing your friends rather than him, which was opposite. you begged him over and over to try and see your side, to make time for you, to give you at least attention and love like he once promised. yet all you got from him was being pushed away and force to hide the sadness you felt.

“why are you still with him, y/n…” jude asked softly, grabbing your hand so you could pay attention. this wasn’t new, it was a frequent talk you got tired of, everyone had said to leave him, and it was starting to get to that point. you shrugged your shoulders, looking down to fidget with your rings as you tried to find the correct words to respond. “i’m starting to ask myself that question more often these days,” you crack a smile yet all you could feel was the pang of guilt.

“y/n look at me darling,” jude shifted to you, yet you shook your head and stood up, fixing your clothes and bringing your purse closer to you. “sorry jude, let’s just go back i don’t want to make the night about myself,” you offered yet jude refused, dragging you to a quiet area behind the restaurant. a cozy area where some lights hanged and plants covered some corners. “you can’t keep hurting yourself like this. it’s not fair you feel this way while he loves his life carelessly, acting like you don’t exist!” jude expressed.

“you don’t know him jude-”

“i know him well enough to say what i’m saying. when has he ever tried to get to know us? to put the sacrifices to make you happy? to show and express his love for you? all he knows how to do is hurt you! he manipulates you and you fall for it,” he continued making your waterline brim with tears.

“you think i don’t know, jude!”

“no, i don’t! because look where we are… look at how he treats you… is that really what you want? to live your life miserable with a guy like him? to keep wasting your time on a guy who constantly succeeds into hurting you? he’s not even man enough to face his own fears,” jude lifted your chin, seeing your tear stained face, wiping the small tear from your cheek. you hated crying and feeling this vulnerable infront of people. the hurt in your chest gradually growing as jude’s words kept sinking in.

“why don’t you leave him?”

“it’s not that easy…”

“it is y/n… he’s giving you so many reason yet you still stick with him. you deserve so much more than that. you deserved to be treated and spoiled correctly. not settle for the bare minimum and type of person who will only bring you down. you need someone who’s willing to make those sacrifices to treat you happy and be there for you. a man who’s not afraid of commitment or to show his true appreciation and love toward you. he’s not that…” jude said, feeling the rage rise in his veins at the tortured sight of you.

“you sure seem to know what i need… there’s no like that anywhere i go-”

“that’s where your wrong,” jude had enough. it was no or never. he didn’t care whether this would turn out good or bad. he had to let his feelings out onto the table, to be real and make you see he was her all along. so many months of holding it, holding in the feelings he had just for you. hiding the jealousy he felt to see you with him, the pain when you felt when you were sad and upset, the happiness that shined bright when you spoke amongst yourself quietly.

why on earth were you still with him when he was right there? jude was willing to move heaven and earth to keep you safe, to protect you from him, to shower you with unconditional love and dedication because he wanted and needed to. he hated your boyfriend, he had never felt this way towards a person since it was such a heavy and cruel word. but there was no denying how much he despises a man like him. for his incapability to treat you the way he does.

“what do you mean? what are you trying to say jude?” you sniffled, brows drawn in as you observed jude’s nervous state. “i can be that man… the one you so highly dream about… i’m right here y/n…” jude swallowed the bubble of anxiety as he saw your face contort into surprise and confusion. “there’s only so much i can feel but i know that what i feel for you isn’t a game. it’s so real and powerful…”

was it bad that you got nervous and shy all of the sudden? that now as you stared into his eyes, you could feel butterflies in your tummy swarm around? that his words instead of scaring you, drew you in and wondered for me?

“what? you like me?” you asked in disbelief.

“like? no y/n, more like love you… i have for so long… since we first met, at the bonfire, when we did volunteer work at the school you teach in, when you showed me your sacred spot, when we had cooked and you taught me your famous pasta recipe? it kills me that you’re not mine… that you’re with someone who isn’t me…”

“i-i”

“leave him y/n. you’re much better with out him, let me at least show you what you mean to me…” jude pleaded, your bodies drawing in closer. you felt the air change, the curiosity of trying what seemed impossible growing intensely as you close the space, your back hitting the wall. “jude, we can’t… i’m still with him,” you betray him and yourself, knowing that despite circumstances you couldn’t be unfaithful. no one deserve to go through that. “please y/n…” jude kissed the corner of your mouth, the temptation more than ever for you to close the space.

“give me some time… you deserve it, i promise i’ll do something about it, i will talk to him,” your hand rested in his jaw feeling how he relaxed in your hold, jude’s eyes fluttered shut.

“do something about what? what the fuck is going on here?” your boyfriend appeared.

#judey thoughts 5️⃣#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham blurb

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justastraymoa · 6 days ago

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Yet Unnamed

Chapter 8

Masterlist | Ch 7.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest.

Warnings for Yet Unnamed: Kidnapping, cuffs, injuries, drugging by injection, mentions of needles, lots of swearing, kissing, fluff, angst, idiots in love all around.

Slowly you half woke to titters and shutter sounds. Your brain too foggy and asleep to register what was happening. But you could feel that it was far too early for you to be awake. So, pulling solid warmth closer to you, you buried your face in silkiness and immediately dozed back off. The last sound you registered was the click of a door closing.

Then your alarm ripped you back to consciousness, making you jump in bed hard as it scared you. You rolled over and turned it off, squinting as the bright light on the phone blinded your sleepy eyes.

You were alone. The blanket you covered Han with last night was neatly folded in the spot he had fallen asleep in. He must have woken up during the night and decided to go to his own bed.

You were not the first one up. Seungmin and Felix were already up and eating breakfast. As soon as you walked in, they smirked at you identically and you immediately became suspicious.

"What?" You asked, looking to make sure you didn't forget pants or something equally as important. It wouldn't be the first time, to be honest.

Seungmin shook his head. "Nothing. How did you sleep?"

You squinted at him and his obvious change in subject. "I slept very well." They exchanged a look as you sat down to eat. "How did you sleep?" You asked deciding to just let them be weird. It was too early to try and decode them.

"Very well. Hyunjin and I spent the night together." Felix answered. He had a satisfied, dreamy look on his face that made you smile. It was sweet to see how far gone they all were on each other.

They showed their love in so many different ways. Not just kisses and cuddles, those were obvious. Anyone could see the affection in those actions. It was also shown in the small ways. Han, helping you build a shelf. Lino cooking dinner and letting Felix help. He always patiently taught and showed Felix what to do.

Changbin, the protector. Always willing to help physically, whether it be with his strength or by offering cuddles. Constantly ready with kind words and an open ear. Just being around him made you feel safer.

Seungmin, hard at first glance with is words and actions, but always willing to listen to any issue or complaint. He doesn't tell you what you should do, more he sets you on the path to figure out what you should do on your own. And he will hold your hand while you find it. While you figure it out. So, you know you are never alone. Even if it's just him laughing at your stumbles as he helps you to keep steady.

Ayen. Playful teasing makes everyone feel better with just a few simple sentences. His dimpled smile is never judgmental when it really matters. When it is truly needed.

Felix is the embodiment of sunshine. Laugh and smile infectious and the kindest soul you will ever meet. He will sacrifice anything to help a complete stranger. So, imagine what it feels like to be one of those he cares about. It's almost overwhelming in the best way.

Hyunjin quiet, soft, shy. Wiling to just sit quietly with you for hours without a single word exchanged. Just let you decompress but not have to be alone to do it. Giving touches freely just when your mind was trying to spiral. Reminding you of his presence and support.

Chan, the leader, the father, a protector. He would support any one of you on anything you wanted to pursue. Going as far as to study whatever it was himself, so he could better understand and help you. So, he could enjoy it with you if you wanted.

They were literally everything you had ever dared to hope for growing up. Even more. And now you got to go on this adventure with them.

Han walked in; his hair still wet from his recent shower. You smiled at him when you locked eyes. He immediately turned bright red and avoided your gaze. Seungmin and Felix burst into laughter.

"Okay, what did I miss?" You ask pinning both laughing boys with your best disapproving mother look.

It worked. They quickly quieted when they saw it.

"They are just teasing me, don't worry." Han mumbled moving to get his own breakfast.

No, there was something more to this. "Yeah, no. Out with it."

Felix looked away and Seungmin sighed pulling out his phone. He tapped the screen a few times before handing it to you, a picture already pulled up.

The lighting was dim, but you could clearly see you and Han in your bed cuddling. Han was laying half on top of you, arm around your middle, head cushioned on your breasts, his sleeping face peaceful. You were wrapped around him with both arms, your face half buried in his bed head. You wanted to cry at how adorable the picture was. Holding the phone with both hands and cradling the precious picture between them.

You quickly sent the picture to your phone. You would most certainly need to print and frame it. It was just too cute to sit in an album on a phone. Too cute not to be seen and worshipped.

"I-I'm so sorry-" Han began, fretting.

"Jisungie! This is so cute! Oh my god, I am so hanging this up in my room!" You gushed turning the phone to show him and pulling him closer to kiss him in excitement. Your heart was absolutely mush and your brain was sparking. You wanted to stomp your feet and squeal at it all.

Han was frozen, mouth partially open and face tomato red all the way down his neck and back to his ears.

You handed Seungmin his phone back. "You two are just jealous." You concluded with a smirk. Seungmin rolled his eyes, but didn't deny it.

You left the room to get to work on the YouTube video editing and print the picture to hang it up. It was turning into a great day already.

You only had 2 days to edit the video and get it ready to post. Which didn't give you a lot of time. Especially since other things were going on as well.

Stray Kids had fan calls later on today that you were in charge of. That started this afternoon. And the meet cute photoshoot was tomorrow.

The photoshoot would be an all-day thing. You were in every photo since it was your debut shoot. The boys would be in and out. They would be in the group photos, some duo/trio/quad photos, and one on one photos with you.

So, slipping on your cuter, less professional headphones, you settle in and get comfortable, pulling up the raw footage that they sent to you yesterday.

It was just over an hour later, by your computer clock when your concentration was broken by Felix knocking on your doorframe, looking unsure of his welcome. You pause the video and save your progress, turning to give him your full attention.

When one of the boys wanted to visit you or wanted your attention, they weren't usually so shy about it. Not anymore. Unless something happened or they were feeling more vulnerable/anxious for whatever reason.

"Come in. What can I do for you?" You ask.

He stayed standing in the doorway instead of coming in like you had requested. Like they all usually did. You always kept your door open, liking when they would pop in for a visit.

"Are you mad? Because of this morning?" He asked. "We weren't making fun of you, I promise."

You sigh fondly. Only eternal sunshine angel Felix would worry over something like this. Something so simple. You hold your hands out to him, and he comes forward, almost looking ready to cry. Seriously this eyes should be registered as weapons of coercion.

"Angel, I am not even a little mad. It was just teasing - I know you weren't trying to be hurtful to either of us."

His entire body relaxed. "Thank you. I'm sorry."

"There is nothing to be sorry for." You soothe squeezing his hands.

"Can I cuddle while you work? I won't get in your way."

In response you sit back in your chair and let him climb onto your lap. He straddled you and held you close, hooking his chin over your shoulder.

You ran your fingers through his hair a couple of times before getting back to work. It was easy enough to work around him once you adjusted. And it was nice to work while cuddling. Warm.

And while you worked, he played on his phone and game system, staying true to his word of not getting in the way of your work.

Sometime later, you saved your work again. "Gather for fan calls!" You shouted as you locked the computer.

In your lap Felix jumped about 3 feet in the air and sat up. You mouthed an apology and grimaced. You hadn't thought about it when you suddenly shouted right in his ear after being quiet for so long.

As we waited for everyone, you and Felix created a little space in the living room to do the calls. Blank light brown backdrop, comfy seating, and the camera stand set up right in front of it.

"You do things so differently. Not as much big fancy production." Felix mentioned off hand.

You suddenly got a little self-conscious. You were still new at this job, and you had done nothing this big before. You wanted to do a good job, but you aren't a big fancy production type person. Anything you can keep small, you tend to. But that wasn't what the others were used to. They had worked hard to get where they are, and they deserved the fancy productions that matched how big they were. How far they had come. How much they worked to get there.

Maybe it would be a good idea - after your reveal video - if you sought out some of the old social media people or the ones from different groups and studied how they did things with these bigger artists. So you could do things the way the group was already used to. It wouldn't hurt to keep things the same for them, so it was less stressful.

For now, you shook the thought off. Now wasn't the time to think of these things. It was too late to change what was already being done. They would need to deal with the way things are for now.

You refocus on the task at hand. Pulling the fan call schedule up on your work tablet and connecting it to the camera so it was ready to go when the boys were.

"Fan calls are so fun! It's been a while since we have done them." Chan walked in and rubbed his hands together.

Everyone else followed just after him, in cozy but nice-looking clothes, hair and makeup. They looked relaxed. The group plopped down around the living room, looking to you. Looking for any last-minute instructions.

You sighed; everything was as ready as it could be. "Alright. So, with the search for the ninth member being teased hard right now they will be bound to ask questions and try to get information."

"So don't be pabos and let anything slip." Lino cut in.

"Yes. True. I know this isn't the way you are used to doing this, so hopefully you aren't too thrown off. Be on guard but have fun. Chan, you are first."

"Don't worry, babe, we got this." Chan kissed your cheek as he went by to set himself in front of the camera and wait for the first call to start.

Fan call behind the scenes was more hectic than you had really thought it would be. But you shouldn't be surprised. Your soulmates thrived on being chaotic after all. And it wasn't more than you could easily handle.

Most fans were fun and respectful on their calls, engaging the boys in interesting questions and games. Wishing them luck on their search for their ninth member but not pressing for information when initially shut down.

But there is always one in the bunch. Third to last fan call the fan only cared about getting information on the search. Going so far as to bombard Han as soon as he got on instead of even greeting him. Almost yelling their demanding questions into the camera.

Han, though flustered, did a very good job of answering the invasive questions without revealing anything. Even though the fan got increasingly frustrated and kept pushing the subject. Everyone was glad when that call ended, and you immediately took note of the fan to place them on a block list. They wouldn't have another chance at a fan call to spread their disrespect for your soulmates.

You sighed as the last call finally ended and eveyone relaxed. "Fantastic job!" You praised immediatly starting to clean up.

"Leave it for right now, Y/n. We will pick it up later." Ayen said, patting the seat next to him in invitation.

And it was a very tempting invite. You didn't like denying your soulmates cuddles or time with you, but there was looming deadlines and a lot of work that needed to be done. You shook your head and kept going. "Sorry, can't. I still have a lot of work to do on the YouTube video."

You finished up the cleaning and went back to your room to work. This time, you softly shut the door so you would have no distractions, then settled back in to hopefully get a good chunk done.

You skipped dinner in favor of getting more of the video edited. You also had all the social media to go through before you could end your night. Clips of the fan calls had already made their way online and some of the boys commented on them or reacted to them.

You were happy to see the one fan call with the overly pushy fan was not getting a whole lot of love from the other members of STAY. Condemning the fan for wasting their opportunity to talk to their favorite idol. And it was so disrespectful. Not just to the idol, but to the fans who didn't get to do the fan call. Who wanted nothing more than those precious minutes with one of the boys and wasn't able to for one reason or another.

Plus, you set up some time with other social media workers in the company to talk with them and shadow them for a bit to learn from them. You had to sacrifice some of the little time you had to work on the YouTube video tomorrow, but it would be worth it for the knowledge. And you would find more time somehow. It would get done.

The next day you had the soul group photo shoot. It was a relaxing concept, something that fit with your personality since it was your debut shoot. Classic coffee shop/bookstore backdrop.

The softness of the boys when the photos come out will be very popular with STAY. The only thing better than sexual tension photos was fluffy photos.

Even as excited as you were, you were still nervous as hell. And your stomach was not cooperating with you this morning. You stuck with coffee and an apple for breakfast.

"You should eat more, you didn't eat dinner last night either." Bin said disapprovingly when it was obvious that I wasn't going to eat anything else.

You patted his chest and took a sip of your drink before going back to your room without responding to his concern.

You all traveled to the set together in a van. You spent the ride wearing earbuds and working from your laptop set up on your knees. Lino sat next to you quietly as the others talked amongst themselves. They were all still pretty calm because it was an early morning.

You were anxious to finish the video. It was premeiring in less than 24 hours. On top of that this photoshoot would need to be released as well, and you would need to approve of and choose the photos. And the boys' socials were going to blow up with both, so you were going to be swamped with work for the next several days before it would even out to steady again for a bit.

And the boys had their own schedules as well. Ayen, Lino, And Bin woud be traveling for several days for interviews and videos. Chan and Han had songs to work on for an upcoming comeback. Seungmin and Felix had several photoshoots coming up with fashion agencies. And Hyune was shooting a commercial/magazine spread. You were all going to be over the top busy.

And there was one thing you needed to add to the schedule. Your part of the YouTube video was done enough that you could record their reactions to the secret you have been keeping from them.

"I would like to add a reaction video after the photo shoot today. There is a tiny slot of time, and it should only take a few minutes." You announced.

There were mummers of agreement and acceptance. "Reaction to what?" Chan asked. He was sitting directly behind you.

"My interview." You didn't want to give too much away, it would ruin all the fun of a reaction video.

"Did you actually spill dirt on us?" Lino asked.

You feigned hurt, clutching your chest. "How dare! Of course not!" Well at least not anything crucial. Any 'slips' were thought out and planned in advance. Only looking like an accident.

After your hair and makeup was done, you looked at yourself in the mirror and tried to make some faces that you remembered seeing others make online or in magazines. They all felt stupid to you. You had never modeled before, and you honestly should have taken some time to ask the boys for help getting prepared.

"Hyune, can you help me with something?" You asked quietly embarrassed. Last minute practicing could only do so much and you felt like you dropped the ball.

Hyune put his phone down and looked up at you, waiting. He looked so soft in his cozy sweater and floofy hair. Light soft makeup with blush placed high up on his cheeks and nose. "Sure, what did you need?"

Looking down you twisted your fingers. "I have never done this before. How do I make good poses and faces?"

Face softening, Hyune gently smiled and gestured you forward. You were wearing a long brown skirt, a white loose button-up with flowing sleeves, and small flower embroidery on the collar. Brown boots with lace socks peeking out from the top and black tights on under those.

You were expecting a bit of teasing or, at the very least, a laugh, so it was a pleasant surprise when he just turned you to face the vanity mirror, standing you in between his legs. His chair was tall enough that he could still see over your shoulder, even still sitting.

As the others were getting ready and joking around, he went over basics with you, having you practice simple soft looks that would match the vibe of the shoot. Helping you find natural and good-looking body positions as well and giving you small bits of advice.

"Don't worry too much. We will all help and eventually this will come naturally like it does to us." He finally said when he had done all he could in the short time you had.

"And things can sometimes get frustrating and intense, so don't take anything too personal. It's all in the moment." Ayen warned, joining you.

Oh great. Hopefully you didn't make them fight by being so bad you stressed them out. Plus, the added stress of this shoot not being like their others for several reasons. You had wanted to find a new cozy vibe and setting they hadn't done yet. A theme that felt fresh. But maybe it was too different for them. Maybe they wouldn't feel it and hate it.

"It's different than usual. The theme and how the shoot is going to be run. I'm not sure how they ran them before, so bear with it, please. And let me know what needs to be done that I missed, okay?" I am damn good at what I do, but this wasn't just about me. This was a team effort. And they were my bosses.

"I'm sure it will be fine." Felix patted your back carefully. You smiled at him, still unsure.

Well actually, you were sure. You were sure you were messing up all of Stray Kids flows. Pretty sure you weren't doing anything like they wanted you to. Just barely squeaking by for now with the excuse that this was all new to you. But damn if the fans would notice anything bad. It was all behind the scenes that was the issue. You could edit the shit out of anything bad before posting behind the scenes videos, so that secret would never get out.

You were very pleased when you finally saw the finished set in person. It turned out just as you had imagined it. Getting it set up on such short notice meant that it was mostly done over texts, phone calls, pictures, and video calls. So the fact that it came out so perfect was a great accomplishment on everyone's parts. The staff you worked with did great in being patient and understanding with you and an amazing job at bringing your vision to life.

During the shoot everyone was exceptionally patient with you. Both staff and the boys helped you get into positions and fix your facial expressions. The camera man mostly shouted at you. He was getting irritated with your inexperience and frustrated when you didn't know how to do what he was asking.

You could tell several of your soul mates were getting angry at him and how he was speaking to you.

"Hey, stop! You are getting paid to do a job, not scream at us!" Ayen finally snapped near the end of your one-on-one portion of the shoot. At this point, you had been fighting tears for several different poses, and he had noticed.

"It's fine, Ayen. Leave it be. It's my fault anyways." You whispered to him, not wanting to have him get a bad reputation by insulting the photographer.

"No, it's not. You are new at this, and he knows that. He can be more helpful and understanding." Ayen grumbled pulling you in close and hiding your face from the camera for a moment so you could get rid of the few tears that managed to escape. "I know you are tired, it's almost over. Just hold on a little longer." He kissed your forehead, and you heard camera clicks. He was still posing and working the camera, even while comforting you. A true professional at this.

Bottom line, you were glad when it was finally over. You were exhausted and still had a lot of stuff to do today before you could rest.

Nevertheless, as soon as you were out of the outfit for the shoot you started setting up for the reaction video while the boys gathered.

"Is this going to be a good reaction?" Han asked. He claimed the first seat.

"Don't know. I just think its something STAY will enjoy watching once the full video comes out." You shrugged. You hoped they wouldn't be upset about your fun little white lie.

"Are you okay?"

Smiling tightly, you nod. "Just tired."

"Take a nap then. Don't push yourself." He looked concerned, which made you wonder just how bad you looked.

You ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Of course you will. You are one of us now." Seungmin said as he sat in his seat.

As soon as everyone was sat you started. "Okay, we don't have a lot of time, so just watch and react naturally. I'll edit later."

You press play and stand back, biting your lip nervously. It's not like they would react too badly, right? They may be slightly upset you deceived them, but most likely not downright angry. Right?

"Ah!" Bin shouted pointing at the screen as soon as you revealed you were fluent in Korean.

Felix stared at you with his mouth open, Lino laughed and clapped. Chan snorted, and Hyune had a wide smile on his face. Seungmin was smirking with an odd look on his face you couldn't place. You just hoped it was a positive one. They all immediately switched to Korean.

"You have been able to speak Korean this whole freaking time!" Felix shouted

"'Why didn't you say anything?" Chan asked.

You shrugged. "You never asked and it wasn't really a big issue."

"I have been struggling all this time for nothing?" Lino responded gesturing with both hands to the screen.

The only one who didn't really react in any way was Han. "Han? Are you mad?" You didn't like how quiet he was being.

He shrugged. "I kind of already knew. You were flipping back and forth the other day when we were putting the shelf together."

"No wonder you haven't tried to start learning Korean!" Felix clapped his hands once, the loud noise making you flinch slightly. You were tense and stressed. Luckily, they didn't seem to notice the small flinch.

"Know any other secret languages?" Ayen asked still smiling.

"Several. I have a gift for languages." You respond, bragging only a little.

"Japanese?" Felix asked, now curious.

You nod.

"Chinese?"

"Several."

"Thai."

"Love their BL. They have some of the best out there. Was worth learning just to watch them."

"Really? BL?" Lino asked incredulous.

"We all have our guilty pleasures." You were way beyond being embarrassed about BL. Now you even watched it in public without so much as a blush.

"French?" Felix was still on the languages. Naming mostly places that Stray Kids went the most.

But this one always caught you some flack. "Ew, no."

"Ew?"

"Unpopular opinion, but I think the language is ugly. No offense to anyone! Just the sound of it doesn't scratch my brain right. More like nails on a chalkboard."

"So, you just never learned it?"

"More like I couldn't. Couldn't stomach it." No one pushed it.

You gave them another few seconds to process all the new information. Let it really sink in and marinate.

"Are you upset?"

Bin shook his head, eyes wide. He baby stepped to you and pulled you into a hug. "Shocked is all, I promise."

Letting out a breath, your shoulders dropped as you relaxed and placed your hands on his sides.

You rested your chin on his shoulder as he twisted back in forth in place soothingly.

"Well, I'm mad!" Seungmin declared.

Bin rubbed your back gently when you flinched lightly, unable to hide this one since you were being held by him.

"Minnie, you can't mean that." Han said softly.

But Seungmin nodded. "I'm mad I didn't figure it out sooner! The evidence of the lie is all right there!"

"You're not mad at Y/n, though, right?" Felix tried to clarify.

The alarm on your phone went off and you pulled away from Bin. "Doesn't matter. Times up. Gotta go." You quickly gathered your things and packed up. Maybe some time will cool Seungmin off and everything will be okay when you went home.

"The van isn't ready yet." Chan pointed out.

You shook your head. "I'll be at JYPE. I have to meet with several people and learn how your last social media expert did things. Don't wait up. I'll be really late tonight." You waved to the group with a smile and left quickly.

👁👄👁👄👁👄👁👄👁👄👁👄👁👄👁👄👁

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght

Yet Unnamed Taglist: @fackeraccount @velvetmoonlght @hyunjinstolemyheart @vampkittenb82 @happy-jj @estella-novella @demigoddreamon-blog @tiana-maxivar @ms-flowergirl @jennibahng @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @mimimiloomeelomi @simpforskz143148 @xxeiraxx @lil-bear08 @brbwritingfanfic @jisungs-iced-americano @zofia515 @missvanjiii @malyxsoulpersonal @silentreadersthings @pixie0627

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enbyfvcker · 2 months ago

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"Come back home."

𝙒𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙭 𝙇𝙤𝙜𝙖𝙣 (𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩!𝙬𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙚)

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 2k

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮/𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩: a part two continuation from this from @psychohoneywhiskey because it rented a whole fucking condo in my head.

𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙨: Hurt/comfort, angst, fighting, fluff, kissing, happy ending, Wade needs a hug, Logan needs a hug.

Wade only got home when the sun was already rising. His suit was all torn up, and some wounds still healed from the fight he just had with some stubborn criminals.

He expected to see Logan sleeping on the couch, but he didn't.

Well, maybe he decided to sleep in his bed?

He walks to his bedroom with expectation but also finds it empty.

Actually, not entirely empty.

In his bed layed all the clothes Wade bought Logan folded. All the little thoughtful gifts he gave him. Everything that Wade got him to say through actions that he's wanted.

Looks like the message didn't land.

His heart tightens, tears welling in his eyes as he realizes that Logan left him.

Left after being willing to sacrifice himself for Wade. Left after making this crack house he lived in into a home. Left after letting Wade convince him to stay sober after decades. Left after stealing his way into Wade's heart, his life, his family.

And just like that, 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴. Without nothing with him but his suit.

Honestly, Wade doesn't think he should be surprised for this. He knew it was going to happen. He knew Logan was just waiting for an opportunity to get rid of him. Who would ever put up with him? God, if he could escape from himself sometimes, he would. He tried many times, too.

So could he even blame him, really?

In that moment, all the words Logan spat at him in that Honda Odyssey at the middle of a god forsaken void came back into his mind. They have been constantly in the past weeks.

He did feel like a ridiculous sad joke. He wanted nothing more than to be able to die alone because at least it meant he would just 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺. That his attempts wouldn't just be self-harm anymore and that when he tried blowing himself up, he wouldn't just regenerate back.

He couldn't keep his job. Couldn't keep Vanessa. Couldn't keep Logan. If it weren't for Logan, he wouldn't be able to keep his fucking universe.

He'd never be an anchor being. He'd never make a difference or matter, so why would anyone stay?

He sobbed as he held one of Logan's shirts, burying his face into it and desperately trying to smell any remaining scent of him.

Mary Puppins walks in, her tongue out as she turns her head to the side, looking up at Wade with sad eyes.

"What's all that damn noise? Did you stub your toe again?" Al walks in wearing a sleeping robe and her sunglasses, apparently having awakened from Wade's ugly crying.

"Hey, Al..." Wade just sniffles, his voice broken as he just chooses to ignore her question.

"What happened?"

"Logan left..."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Guess I'm that insufferable that he couldn't stand spending another minute with me."

"He spent whole months with you, Wade."

"Sure, but did he even have a choice? I basically kidnapped him and threw him in a fucking new universe. I'm like an old creepy guy in a van. He was just waiting for a chance to run off. And he did."

"Come here, let's get you some tea." Al gestures for Wade to follow her to the kitchen, and he does, taking the shirt in his hands with him.

"Actually, I could use some cocaine right now. And you could use the cure for blindness to see how heartbroken I am for tea." He remarks, following behind her, dogpool following Wade. "Try not to break any cups this time."

Al puts sets a kettle in the stove and turns it on as Wade sits on a chair, all droopy and his eyes red.

"Did he take anything with him? Any money? Clothes? How do you know he won't just come back?"

"No, nothing. He must be wandering the streets like a lost puppy right now. And I just know."

"I think you boys are just too stupid to communicate properly. If you talked about this shit-"

"Oh, he talked plenty, believe me. He ran his mouth about how much of a joke I am."

"Oh, cut the self-loathing crap. That was before then. You two have been acting like an old married gay couple for the last months, don't give me that. You don't see the way he looks at you."

"Oh, and you do?!"

"I don't have to see it to know that guy would throw himself in the fire for you. If he ran off, then it's probably because the idiot read your sad little kitten act like a sign he's not welcomed."

"What-"

"Shut up. Now, if you don't grow a pair of balls for once and try to find him, I sweat to god-"

"I wouldn't even know where to look. And I doubt it he'd even want me to."

"So you better start right away. Go."

"What about my tea-"

"Go."

...

The last few days were rough. And that's saying something, considering all Logan went through in his universe.

He didn't have a place to stay anymore, so he just wandered around and got from bar to bar. He didn't have any cash on him, so he would flash his claws out to the barman as a threat when he was asked about his bill.

He felt like a goddamn monster, so why not act like it. He's not proud of it, but it's been months he didn't have a drink, and all he wanted was to drown the overwhelming feelings eating at him.

He got banned from multiple bars, always hopping to the next one. Getting drunk, getting in some fights, wandering around...

He felt like he was back in his universe. He felt so fucking stupid to think maybe he could change. That maybe here he could turn the page, start a new life with Wade.

Turns out the place it's not the problem, he's the fucking problem. He's a disease that destroys everything he touches, and he should know better than to try and have any connection with anyone.

He failed everyone. He failed the X-men by not being there. He failed Charles by going into a murderous spree. He failed Laura by not being the right guy. He failed Wade by being the complete jerk he is.

He wasn't sure how many days it had been since he left. He's smelling bad, and his hair is mess, but all he cares right now is finishing one more bottle. Then, one more, and one more, and...

He feels something - someone - poking him. Logan thinks it may be the barman or the manager, so he pulls his claws out. "Look, bub, I-"

"Heya, Peanut. Gosh, I'm getting deja-vu. Ain't ya?" Logan's eyes focus to see Wade standing next to him wearing his suit and mask, and his heart races quickly. "You're a hard one to find, honey badger. And I'm a mercenary, so-"

"The fuck are you doing here?"

"You know the answer to that."

"Save it, bub. I gave you an easy way out. You should have taken it."

"Come on, let's just talk-"

"Not in the fucking mood." Logan grumbles, suddenly feeling his chest too tight and like the walls were closing on him. He stumbles while getting off the chair and heading outside with heavy steps, hearing an angry voice behind the counter as he leaves without paying.

He walks out of the bar, rushing somewhere through the empty street, nightly darkness everywhere. Where? Where the fuck was he rushing to?

He hears a bell noise and other footsteps behind him.

"Fine! I get it, alright?! I'm the worst damn piece of crap that you could possibly be stuck with! You were right, ok? I'm everything you said I am. I'd run off, too." Wade shouts, his broken voice making Logan halt in his steps. "But at least let me return the favor of you saving my universe. Let me try and find you somewhere where you don't have to deal with me-"

"It was never about that." Logan grunts, his heart aching like it was about to break.

How could Wade possibly think it was about that?

"What?"

"I'm poison, bub." Logan sighs, finally turning around. "I destroy everything I touch. I hurt everyone around me, I hurt you. I don't deserve you taking me in. I don't deserve your affection or your family. I shouldn't have thought that there was more to my life than being the miserable monster I am and living with the consequences of my own actions. You got the worst you could possibly have, Wade. I'm just doing you the favor of retracting myself before I fuck everything up beyonde repair." Logan could feel his throat tight like a knot as he fought back stubborn tears.

Wade was stunned, silent for a few seconds before he took off his mask and gave Logan the most puppy dog eyes he ever saw, his eyes glossy with tears matching his own.

"You're an fucking idiot." Wade simply stated, a sad smile in his lips. "You're not a monster. And you're far from the worst I could have. I owe my whole world to you. I know you think I'm a joke, but I couldn't ask for a better-"

"I don't think you're a joke." He interrupted.

"But... in the Honda Odyssey, back at the void..." Wade replies, hearing a chuckle that held nothing but sadness.

Fuck. It never came to Logan's mind that what he said that day actually stuck to Wade. He is an idiot. Those words felt so distant, so different from what he felt now for the merc. After all those months they lived together, getting all domestic and shit. Wade crawled into his heart that had felt dead for years and got a space there.

"That was before, bub. I didn't even really know you, of course now I don't think that shit I said."

"But you did... Back then." Wade looks down, his voice low.

"I'm sorry..." Logan says, the words feeling foreign on his tongue. "You didn't deserve that. I was a jerk. I still am, but... You make me want to be better, bub. It's stupid, but... You kidnapping me was probably the best thing that ever happened to me in years, and I was just... so scared I fucked it up too, like everything else."

Wade chuckles, and his eyes brighten as he looks at Logan, his heart feels lighter at hearing those words.

"You didn't." Wade gets closer, his hand resting at Logan's shoulder. "You're wanted. Loved."

The care and gentleness in Wade's touch melts Logan, he leans closer too.

"Come back home."

Those words alone broke him.

For so long, he didn't have a home. How could he have ever taken this one for granted?

"Alright, bub."

It was like clockwork when their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss, them holding each other closely as if they both feared the other would disappear into thin air any second. It felt so natural. Their hearts were calm and frantic at the same time.

Suddenly, there were fireworks sounds and colorful lights surrounding them, and they could hear people chanting happily in the background.

𝘖𝘩.

So it was New Year's already.

They kept their lips together for a few seconds as fireworks popped and formed colorful patterns in the sky. When they pulled away, their eyes were filled with longing and pure affection.

"You're stinky." Wade comments with a smile even though he keeps Logan close. Logan chuckles.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Come on. Let's get you home and make you a nice warm bath, peanut. Blind Al and Mary Puppins are missing you." Wade says while putting his arms around Logan's waist as he guides him their way home.

"Just them?"

"No." Wade replies. "Not just them."

#deadpool and wolverine #deadclaws #poolverine #wade x logan #wade wilson #logan howlett #fanfic #hurt/comfort #angst #fluff #x men #marvel #deadpool 3 #deadpool x wolverine

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qin-qin16 · 8 months ago

Text

SWEET SWEET LOVE

Summary: book tropes with Cross, Error and Ink!

cw.: 0.6 k content: sfw, short headcanons, hurt/comfort, everyone gets a happy ending… unless?, depressive thoughts in Error’s part, but nothing extreme! note: i really don’t know how to end headcanons, but have fun anyway! Error's part was inspired by this post!

Cross - you fell first, he fell harder + dog poetry

You always compared Cross to a dog, one of those who trust in nothing and no one;

They bark, they bite, they hurt anyone who crosses their path. No one wants to get close to a dog like that;

However, you began to see more than just that wild layer that Cross seemed to want to display. Behind all that anger, all that hatred towards everything and everyone, the deep envy of happy worlds, you managed to see the pain, the fear of never being able to live happily again after so many sacrifices;

And, just like a dog, Cross just needed to learn to trust again, and of course, you were willing to be the one to teach him;

Both of you had to be patient—and you also had to be very understanding during Cross's outbursts of feelings or the moments when he wanted to be alone;

It wasn't easy, but God, how worth it it was after all this time;

As you like to say: you fell in love first, but Cross fell harder in love;

It was like having a poorly trained guard dog: he would do anything to protect you. Bites, growls, endless fights if it meant your safety;

He wouldn't lose you, not like he lost everyone else;

And if not losing you meant acting like a dog, he would act.

Error - Soulmates + second chance

Before Error became, well, Error, you knew him as Sans;

Souls intertwined across different multiverses, but after a long time, they managed to find each other again — even after Sans' death and his afterlife state (Geno);

For a long time, you lived like this: a love between a ghost and a living, souls that should not have been separated by death;

However, something changed. Overnight, he simply disappeared;

No more gentle touches, no more whispered promises before sleep, no more starry nights where only the two of you were witnesses to your love;

Any mere memory of him was like digging a hole deeper and deeper, a hole that, no matter how much you dug, seemed to have no end;

So, was this what it was like to lose a soulmate?

But even as this emptiness consumed you more and more, something deep within your SOUL would not let you give up, an unknown determination that refused to let you believe Sans had vanished forever;

And your SOUL was right... well, partly right;

Sans was indeed alive, but no longer as Sans;

Again, something happened, and now you found yourself facing Error who, with great insistence, claims to be your former boyfriend;

And even though your SOUL was telling you that yes, that was the Sans you knew, are you willing to give it a second chance?

Whether he knows your answer or not, Error would not lose you again.

Ink - Enemies to friends

Your first impression of Ink was far from pleasant;

The disgust you felt for him at the moment was only surpassed by anger when he vomited black ink on your new shoes — and to top it off, he barely apologized, just turned and vanished behind another ink stain;

Obviously, a presence as striking as Ink's wouldn't be easily forgotten by you, and sure enough, when he appeared in front of you again, you wanted to make him eat those same shoes (now permanently stained with ink);

But to your surprise, he had returned to learn more about your universe (something he would explain much later what it meant);

As much as you detested the idea of serving as a tour guide for someone like him, an airhead who had no consideration for anyone, you went along with it. After all, the sooner you started explaining how your universe worked, the sooner he would leave;

Through ups and downs, you ended up softening your heart towards Ink. Even though his lack of personal space sometimes irritated you, you could see a certain fascination in him every time he talked about universes and art, and whether you liked it or not, you also felt sorry for him for not having a soul;

And like a great (new) friend, he even promised to take you to other universes to explore and have fun — what could possibly go wrong?

#undertale #sans #sans x reader #character x reader #cross sans #cross x reader #error x reader #ink x reader #error sans #ink sans #sans x y/n #qinqin stuff 💖

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glamourscat · 2 months ago

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*waves* hellooooo ❤️

Just wanted to ask if you could do an analysis for barou too?

thank you so much for requesting this, love Barou so much. Also, this is kinda long cause i yapped away too much

Barou Shoei, also knows as the “King,” is a character full of contradictions. On the surface, his egocentric view on life and arrogant attitude make him easy to label as short-tempered and a “red flag.” But Barou is much more complex than that.

First off, the king persona isn’t just a front. Barou genuinely believes he’s the king of the field. His confidence isn’t misplaced. He knows he has the skills to back it up. This confidence comes from his deep fear of mediocrity and his relentless drive to prove his worth, both to himself and to others.

During the second selection, I initially thought Barou would learn to pass the ball, become a team player, and maybe even become friends with Isagi. Wrong. Barou does the opposite of what’s expected. And that’s what i love. Instead of fitting in, he adapts in his own way, pushing himself even harder and maintaining his individual strength. That’s the beauty of Barou, he’s resilient and unbending. He doesn’t pass the ball, he pushes himself even more to advance Isagi, a threat to his progress and yet at the same time the spark that pushed him to advance.

But Barou isn’t just about ego and power. He’s also incredibly intuitive. In the light novel, we learn about his family, specifically about his absent father and the love Barou nurtures for his mother and sisters. At just seven years old Barou had to witness his father being a deadbeat. His mother, with a one-year-old on her back and a newborn in her arms, tirelessly cooked for him. This experience forged a strong bond between Barou and his mother. As the light novel states, “When his mother was having a hard time, why wasn’t his father there? While thinking vaguely, he devoted himself to keeping the house beautiful.”

It’s no wonder Barou can’t stand people like Nagi, who are too laid-back for his liking. Although his relationship with his father isn’t explicitly stated, it’s clear it’s not a positive one. Barou grew up with his mother as his role model. She worked her ass off to provide for him and his sisters, showing resilience and strength. How could Barou, the self-proclaimed king, give up on his dreams when his mother made so many sacrifices for him?

Which brings me to this. Barou’ behaviour is a byproduct of his upbringing and experiences. Barou’s intensity on the field is matched by his loyalty and protective instincts off it. He may not show affection in conventional ways, but his actions speak volumes about his commitment to those he deems worthy.

His sheer determination to succeed and independence reminds me a lot of the “eldest daughter curse.” The one who always has to put a brave face in front of everyone. The planner. The organiser. The parent. The sibling and the child they couldn’t be. It’s canon that besides for his birth, he never cried afterwards.

Maybe because he feels he does not have the right to? Maybe because he feels other people have it worse so he refuses to cry? Or maybe because after seeing and living with an absent father, picking up the role of the missing parent and emotional supporting figure for your sisters and mother, he kinda became numb. Because your feelings and worries become an afterthought.

So, no, Barou isn’t a red flag. His intensity and harshness are just part of his dedication and his refusal to settle for mediocrity. He’s deeply committed to his goals and willing to endure solitude and criticism to achieve them. Barou’s sense of honor and integrity also sets him apart. He doesn’t cheat or rely on underhanded tactics, he achieves his goals through sheer willpower and skill.

Because that’s simply who the king is. Barou is the essence of what it means to be a striker.

#barou shouei #baro shoei #bllk barou #blue lock barou #Barou shouei character analysis #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #barou shoei x reader #character analysis #barou shouei headcanon

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yanderes-galore · 4 months ago

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Heyyyy can I request romanticly Lloyd Garmadon×reader, Prompts 1 and 4 because I can really see Lloyd also being an yandere who would sacrifice the world for their darlin

I didn't realize how much trauma Lloyd went through until I watched a video on it... Oml man is NOT okay.....

Yandere! Lloyd Garmadon Prompts 1 + 4

"I'd burn this world and everything in it for you."

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it."

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Unhealthy coping mechanisms/attachment, Threats, Clingy behavior, Kidnapping, Attachment issues, Dubious turned forced relationship.

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth

Lloyd has never experienced proper love. Lloyd hasn't even experienced a proper childhood. He was instead forced to take the mantle of hero at a young age... forced to fight evils no normal person should face...

Of course he wasn't going to be okay.

Lloyd's biggest fear is becoming like his father. He knows he's done horrible things in the past and he still can't forgive himself. He's witnessed many he's cared about die... He's watched himself harm others.

So, of course, the moment he feels anything positive... It's normal to latch on, right?

When Lloyd met you, he was hesitant to get attached. He's so used to being used or watching those he cares about get hurt.... The moment you're kind he panics a bit.

But over time... Your kindness feels genuine.

It's the one thing he's always wanted... Genuine love.

Love to someone who has never had it is an addicting thing. It's such a foreign yet familiar thing to him. Yours is so warm and sweet.

However... The problem with addiction is this...

Addicts will do anything to get another hit.

Lloyd's attachment to you was because you paid attention to him. You saw past his heroic acts... and his not so heroic acts.... Lloyd felt you saw him for himself.

Unfortunately... It didn't seem like you were ready for his strengthening attachment.

You saw Lloyd as a friend. Maybe even a sibling due to what he's gone through. You wanted to comfort him... support him...

But it seems you were just making him worse....

To Lloyd, it didn't matter what happened to him or anyone else when it came to you. As he was around you, he found himself unable to be away from you. Even when you asked for distance... He was unable to give it.

Why would you want distance anyways...? Is he not good enough? Does he scare you? Are you going to leave him?

He'd do anything to prevent that.

The moment you try to drift away or distance yourself, Lloyd just tugs you back. He's never far from you. He's always dedicated... scared you'll leave if he doesn't.

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it."

He says such words like a prayer to you. Like it's a promise he'd come back no matter what you did. You were not a fool to his feelings... You just knew you could never reciprocate them.

He'd never stop loving you though.

It didn't matter how you loved him. Lloyd would always love you. As long as you give him attention, as long as you look at him, he'll take anything.

He'll be forever loyal...

He'll sacrifice anything...

As long as you're there to hold him. As long as you won't ever leave. As long as you're his...

He could care less how you see him... and he could care less if the world suffers for it at this point.

Lloyd may be a hero. However, to him, you always come first. Lloyd doesn't know what he'd do without you.

He'd sacrifice anything and everything if it meant you'd be all his. He'd cling to you even more if it meant he'd secure you. It didn't matter what it took...

"I'd burn this world and everything in it for you." Lloyd had said that to you to show you his desperation. You had suggested to take a break from one another, to be away from each other. The implication hurt...

Yet Lloyd was willing to wait as long as it took... and sacrifice everything... just to keep you to himself one way or another.

Sure, you can have some space for now... but he'll always be back by your side eventually.

Doesn't he deserve something good for once? Doesn't he deserve to be selfish? He's been forced to be hero for so long....

Lloyd's biggest fear is no longer becoming his father. His biggest fear is being alone. When you threaten to put distance between you and him...

Suddenly... being a bit of a villain doesn't seem so bad... Maybe he should just... drag you to be beside him forever...

As long as it means he's never alone... maybe he should give into his villainous roots.

#yandere ninjago #yandere lego ninjago #yandere lloyd garmadon

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greenandhazy · 10 months ago

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okay but it's the fact that CQL is in large part about what you would sacrifice for the people you love, and in almost every other instance in the show, that sacrifice is portrayed as, if not necessarily the Right decision, at the very least evidence of fundamental goodness. the Yunmeng trio, Wen Qing for her brother and Nie Mingjue for his (Fatal Journey counts 100%), Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, they make difficult choices for love and that makes them Good even if it doesn't make them happy.

and then there's Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang. whose identities are so fundamentally wrapped up in being His Mother's Son and The Little Brother, respectively, and they are so singularly devoted to the legacy of their relative that they will continue to fight for it long after death. they will sacrifice others in a heartbeat. they will lie, they will scheme, they will cause others pain. they will endure humiliation after humiliation. they will put on a persona that makes their true selves unrecognizable even to the people who know them best. ultimately they will sacrifice their own morality, their own goodness, in a way that would probably horrify the people in whose names they make this sacrifice.

I am falling asleep and these are random disjointed thoughts but other things that drive me feral about them is:

the backstory CQL gives, Meng Yao being at the Unclean Realm for (?) a length of time, and allll the visual signifiers of a close, basically familial relationship between them

(I know fanon likes to talk about "the Nie braids" as a sect-wide thing but they ARE NOT. they are a HUAISANG AND MINGJUE AND MENG YAO THING. litcherally no other Nie disciple wears them, not even Nie Zonghui! that's so significant!)

CQL/FJ leaning hard into the suggestion of the brothers being more or less on their own, very little discussion of their parents, leaving room to lean into the idea of NMJ fulfilling a parental role as well as a brotherly one, and the parallel between him and Meng Shi being even stronger

the final flashback to Meng Yao and Meng Shi, and how it's framed to suggest that as coming from Huiasang--a cherished memory Meng Yao passed on to him?

I've seen this floated around on tumblr before, about how it's very likely that Jin Guangyao underestimated the depth of Huaisang's love for his brother, based on how his love manifests as overachieving. so that moment of revelation in the temple being not just "oh, you're the one who was behind this the whole time" but "oh, you and I have this same sickness, this same depth of feeling."

the character songs. I'm obsessed with them. the fact that Jin Guangyao's is a constant litany of questions, uncertainty, revolving around "How many people are willing to know your true face?", while the Nie brothers' song has their relationship as this unshakeable foundation, to the point that they're the only two characters represented by one vocalist. the Unclean Realm being unquestionably "a place of deep love" and the only uncertainty being "when will we see each other again?"

(...and that being answered in part by the title, the repeated use of farewell with connotations of permanence. Huaisang defying death, wanting his brother back in any form possible, while Jin Guangyao literally meets his doom because he is so concerned about earning his mother an easier time in her next life.)

mutual obsession over Nie Mingjue. Meng Yao keeping his head in his treasure room. there are lots of jokes about how LXC is left out of the get-along coffin, but can we talk about the fact that Huaisang sacrificed his moral compass, the reputation of his sect, the life of a troubled teenager, and 10+ years of his life all so he could free his brother's mutilated body from Jin Guangyao's clutches... and at the end of it all, Jin Guangyao is the one who will be with him for eternity?

in conclusion: I love them, your honor.

#nie huaisang #jin guangyao #the untamed

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unionizedwizard · 6 months ago

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tumblr user unionizedwizard certified #1 shadowbringers + g'raha overthinker reporting for duty

i HAVE been thinking about sphene being the exarch's foil. because it is a very obvious case to the point they had to pick him up from SHARLAYAN as an emergency Relevant Character and also allowed him to come with us to living memory (you know it's about to get serious when they let him go anywhere with the wol)

so, obviously. both sphene and g'raha (as the exarch) were thrust into a horrific nightmarish situation where they were put in charge of a entire city/state facing an umbral calamity. both care deeply about the people they're trying to protect - their people. both have undergone (willingly or not) heretofore unknown scientific operations that irreversibly changed them, using cutting-edge technology, making them immortal and fusing them with an immensely powerful reservoir of aetheric energy, all in the name of duty and preserving hope for the future; both have become a symbol rather than a person. the alexandrians needed their queen, whose mere presence stopped them from succumbing to despair; the people from novrandt forced the exarch into a similar position (even though he kept repeating he would not stand for becoming a king of any sort); himself, on behalf of the ironworks & the entirety of the post-8th umbral calamity survivors, was willing to sacrifice himself to bring back the wol - because (and this is the really important part) of the wol's status as a symbol of hope and resilience. everyone here, the wol included, is dehumanized and worshiped and used for their good, self-sacrificial qualities, as well as their unyielding willpower.

sphene's memories were altered, muddled, to an extent that nobody really understands. the scientists who managed to create the endless are all gone, the average alexandrian forgot everything and everyone they've ever known, she herself knows she's not the "original" sphene but a copy - yet she doesn't seem to mourn this loss, and indeed i don't know to which extent she conceives of it as a loss, or a violation of her bodily autonomy (which it was! she never asked to be brought back, especially not this way, which would be a more than traumatic experience for ANYONE to go through!). in the same way, the exarch's memories encompass several timelines and realities, and he spent an entire century having to hide his identity, not being able to mention his own name, much less his purpose or homeland - i'd say this self-erasure is more than comparable with sphene's experience. not to mention that both sphene and the exarch were forced into "passive", static roles - i don't know how sphene felt about this because this is the tragedy of her character, that we don't know (and she herself doesn't know) the first thing about her, as an individual with preferences and feelings and memories.

also, this all adds up with g'raha's role in the deltascape part of ultima thule - the omicrons being, as AI mechanical soldiers, the missing link between sphene and himself. there's a pattern here, interrogating the relationship between mind, body, memory, duty, freedom and personal agency & autonomy, etc. the endless in general and sphene in particular are more than reminiscent of the omicrons on this point.

all of this to say: thinking about g'raha's gondola speech, i did not think he was talking about the scions, or even the wol. i see how this is a possible (and likely) interpretation to have, but i must confess i was surprised when i saw that this is what most people had understood. to me he was talking about the people from the First, and also the people from the 8th umbral calamity timeline, especially those with whom he'd worked for, presumably, months at a time. so many people who died after the Flood (we tend to forget that he arrived right after the Flood, in the immediate aftermath), not just because of the sin eaters but also because of the sudden and catastrophic environmental changes; all the people who could never adapt to the eternal light and, presumably, went mad (it's a real thing in real life even though night does come back eventually, so i imagine it must have been that but a lot worse in novrandt). all the people who died due to lack of medicine, because all the medicinal plants and recipes disappeared in the blink of an eye, not to mention the healers themselves; all the diseases and epidemics and interpersonal violence that arose as a consequence of the severe famine and lack of basic resources that plagued what was left of the star. and the unfathomable loss and trauma of losing millenia of culture and civilization and knowledge and biodiversity and entire families, entire tribes, cities, countries, being annihilated. g'raha has lived through this for a century, combined with the post-8th umbral calamity state of the Source. we know how much he cares for the people of the crystarium, and we only see the crystarium as a fully-developed, beautiful, and harmonious city-state; we haven't seen the century of work and planning and emergency managing and unfathomable grief and pain that went into it. in the same way, we see alexandria (and living memory) as they are now, but only glimpse a few moments of utter chaos during the alexandria dungeon.

so i'm just thinking of g'raha, seeing living memory, and being the only one among the party who truly understands. who can truly relate to sphene, and understand her. he's the only one present who has personally been through not one but two calamities, and had to deal with them on a day-to-day basis (while readying a completely crazy long-term plan). how many people that he knew, loved, wanted to protect... died of "preventable" causes during the century he was on the First, while himself was immortal - so that he could keep doing his duty, doing everything he could to save them eventually? all this happened in a manner which was truly unfair, and unfathomably evil, and - possibly the worst part - he knew this was still "the better path" (as he put it himself while trying to summon the wol). the survivor's guilt that both he and sphene must be dealing with is simply impossible to really understand, i think. we've seen the crystarium. of course he'd wish for all these unfortunate souls to endure and finally know peace and happiness. and of course, he didn't have a Living Memory, but of course he couldn't help but wonder how he'd have reacted in this situation.

and i do wish we could have had him interact with sphene, actually. it made sense that she was wuk lamat's foil and all, but i think it would have been interesting..........

#phew. LEVEL 5 SPELL: WALL OF TEXT upon ye #no choice.#dawntrail #dawntrail spoilers

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whateverisbeautiful · 5 months ago

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♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#56: The Real CRM (1.06)

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Will the real CRM please stand up? 😁 The thing I most liked about these Rick and Beale exchanges is that while Beale was peeling back the curtain on what the CRM is really about, Rick got to let Beale know about the only CRM he and I recognize - and y’all, that’s Carl, Rick, Michonne. 💅🏽😌...

Beale sees major potential in Rick as he tells him he thinks the next decade's leader might be Rick Grimes. It’s like Okafor said, even though Rick has never wanted power, it’s undeniable that he has it and is a natural-born leader. But I think this natural-born leader is very eager to retire and just be a family man and the world should finally let him. 🙏🏽

Beale notes how Rick came back to them even after so many escape attempts and even despite having had the perfect out because they thought he was dead. They cut to several moments of Rick during his time in the CRM and then Beale says that Rick has become a powerful story that they can essentially parade around to others to convince them of why the CRM is the answer.

Even saying that is so detached and reductive - treating Rick as not a person but a persuasive story.

gif cred: @taiturner

Beale talks about how he and Okafor have sacrificed and he says Rick has already sacrificed too as he holds up his prosthetic, a reminder of Rick's willingness to sacrifice his own hand for his family.

Then Beale gets personal yet still seems so detached as he asks, “Who’s the person closest to you who’s died in all of this?” And Andy’s acting is so good as he pauses for a moment and then says, “My son.” I could shed several tears from those two words alone. 🥺

One; I love how often Carl was acknowledged in TOWL. He’s so impactful to Rick and Michonne so it’s only right. And the way Rick says 'my son' here, it's viscerally evident how personal this is to him. I love how there’s this vulnerability to the way he says it while also trying to keep a guard up.

Rick somberly says, “He’s who I saved tearing out that man’s throat.” Because truly there isn’t anything Rick wouldn’t do for Carl. 😭 And the pain on Rick's face when he says this hits hard. It's like you can visibly see him mentally returning to two extremely heavy moments from his past - the night he killed those Claimers to save Carl and the night he lost Carl in Alexandria.

And then, despite the fact that this is clearly an extremely hard loss and not easy to talk about, Beale seems like he doesn’t have a heart with his insensitive response.

Beale says, “But you couldn’t save him in the end.” And him disrespecting Rick and Carl had me wanting to swing on the Major General tbh. 🥊

After Beale's unfeeling remark, they show a quick clip of Rick and Michonne standing at Carl’s grave. 💔 Then Rick shakes his head and somberly answers, “No.” Which is just 🥺🥺🥺.

A big element of the pain of this is that, before Carl passed, Rick viewed the weighted act of killing a man with his teeth as an act that kept Carl alive. But now, when he thinks about that moment he also has to think about how Carl still didn't make it, even despite what Rick was willing to do to protect him. 😞

I guess normally this would be an effective tactic from Beale. He gets the soldiers thinking about the person they most loved and lost and how they couldn’t save them, convincing them that committing to the CRM would be a way to prevent those losses and that pain from ever happening again.

But fortunately, after some heart-to-hearts in a crumbling apartment with Michonne, Rick is no longer susceptible to thinking the CRM can’t be beat so they must be joined.

Beale says, “What if I told you, you would never have to suffer that kind of loss again, that wherever you were running to, whoever you were running to…you could keep them safe, you could bring them to us?” For some reason, I doubt the sincerity of this offer.

And it seems Rick isn't buying it either. Plus, even if it was a legit offer, Rick would never just be content with keeping his people safe while the CRM exterminates mass amounts of other innocent people.

When Beale says, “Family, friends, a love…I don’t give a damn.” the not giving a damn part is clear. You can tell Beale has been so far removed from having people he loves for a long while.

Somewhat adjacent to a mindset that Rick nearly adopted before Michonne helped him return to himself, Beale thinks protecting people is a sufficient replacement for loving people.

Beale says he’ll spare the people Rick loves because he’s willing to take that chance on him. Rick continues to hang onto his knife under the table and Beale can’t tell that he has an increasingly feral Rick in front of him.

Like the way Rick looks at Beale...it was clear that the Major General was about to meet Red Machete Rick real soon. 👌🏽

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Beale goes on to tell Rick about how “The Next World will begin” and my extra self just liked hearing the title of Richonne’s s6 canon episode in TOWL lol. 😊

The time finally comes for Rick to swear on the sword and then we’re brought back to the moment in ep 1 when Beale wanted to ask a question and get the answer by looking in Rick eyes. And then here in the finale, Beale also gets an answer from Rick’s eyes because rather than swear on the sword and 'not let it take' like Okafor advised, Rick refuses to swear on the sword at all.

Rick's done playing along. So after they show a series of clips of Rick and Michonne taking down opponents in TWD, Beale quickly realizes that he’s got the wrong one as Rick’s expression shifts. He can tell Rick is very clearly in kill mode as Beale then grabs his weapon and says, “No.” But it’s too late.

gif cred: @coltseavrs

Rick chuck’s his knife at Beale and slides across the desk to tackle him down. 👏🏽

Beale and Rick get into some hand-to-hand combat, with Rick’s prosthetic again shielding him from getting cut up when Beale swings his sword. Beale wants to know why Rick came back if he hadn’t really conformed. Rick doesn’t believe the world is gonna end and Beale says the world won’t but he’s trying to make sure that the human race doesn’t end.

When Rick gets a hold of Beale’s sword he plunges it right through Beale’s hand and Beale’s first response is one of regret that he trusted Okafor enough to give Rick a chance. Cuz clearly that didn't work out too well for Mister Beale. 🙂

And then, after Beale’s long speeches and disrespect throughout this ep, it was finally Rick’s turn to speak. 😌

gif cred: @nobleriver

Rick lets Beale know, “I never lost my son. I lost myself. He brought me back.” 😭 I love how Rick now knows his son was always with him, even when he thought he lost him. And even after losing himself, his son was still able to bring him back.

Carl brought Rick back so many times as he lived and it’s heartwarming to know he continues to do that from the other side.

gif cred: @nobleriver

And then y’all already know I am beyond here for the fact that Rick then says, “My wife brought me back.” The way he puts that emphasis on “my wife.” 🔥 Oh he meant this. 💯

And you know it probably felt extra great for Rick to now be able to say 'my wife' knowing he's finally been able to give Michonne a ring like he wanted. 💍😌

gif cred: @machonnes

Hearing Rick call Michonne his wife will always be music to my ears. And I love that he can't help but say it with so much passion each time. 😊

And once again Rick has a perfect track record of giving Michonne her flowers. He knows the reason he’s here, and back to being himself, and fighting this fight, is because of his wife. Fighting for him, believing in him, and bringing him back are some of the many ways Michonne saved Rick's life.

I love the way this connects back to Michonne telling Carl that he and Rick brought her back in their heartfelt season 4 finale scene. Carl, Rick, and Michonne all brought each other back. 😭

(And little does Beale know that the wife Rick’s talking about is one Consignee Bethune. Looks like Beale was right to have her on his radar. 😋)

Rick says, “We’re the sword that kills. We’re the sword that gives life. One life. One unstoppable life.” I like that Rick gets to tell Beale this after the CRM thought they were the only answer.

gif cred: @likeafantasy

Again, he’s letting Beale know who the real C.R.M is and it was moving to see Rick doing this in the name of Carl and Michonne. His son and wife. He represented the Golden Trio well here. 🥹

(And I know some people wanted/expected TOWL to be super focused on CRM content. But the way I see it - it was.👌🏽 Because Carl, Rick, & Michonne sure got a whole lot of focus. 😌)

Rick's final scene with Beale made it ultra clear that Michonne and Carl give Rick so much strength. They did back then and they still do years later. His wife and kids are why he fights. 👌🏽

And I like that Rick reframed Beale’s mantra to see that it’s the people you love who really are the ones who give life. Hearing Rick say “one unstoppable life” also made me think about how he mentioned in the TWD series finale that Michonne showed him that they’re one unstoppable life.

And that’s why they don’t have to succumb to the doomsday fear of the world ending again because, as this apocalypse has shown, - their one unstoppable life doesn’t end even when the world does.

gif cred: @likeafantasy

Then Rick concludes by saying, “We’re not dead…You are.” as he, in a bit of poetic irony, kills Beale with his own sword. It’s nice hearing Rick declare “We’re not dead” having lived the last few years feeling like a dead man. The real Rick is alive and well now. 🙌🏽

And the real Rick is also a little crazy, but that’s how it’s always been and we love him for it. 😌

Also, the snarl with that delivery.👏🏽❤️‍🔥 Rick can be at his most feral and every time I'm still just like...

Killing the CRM’s most powerful leader right here and now certainly qualifies as putting a major wrench in Richonne's plan, and so Rick has to quickly cover his tracks by telling Pearl that Beale went to the woods alone.

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Then he sees a crate and gets an idea on how to remove the body which leads to another elevator scene. And while that lovely elevator scene in episode 4 was lighthearted and steamy, this next elevator scene is pure suspense. 😨👌🏽

#richonne #towl #reveling in richonne #1.06 #RIR (56)#the ones who live #twd towl #michonne grimes #rick grimes #rick x michonne #twol #michonne #rick and michonne #twd: the ones who live #twd #richonnefandom

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sleepsunawareof · 1 year ago

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Well like many, the Loki S2 finale has me still reeling and I have had this little drabble on my brain and had to get it out. I am not really a writer, I've not written a fic since I was a teenager probably lol so be easy on me but alas, I hope this is enjoyed by those who also just couldn't bear the thought of Loki being alone at the end of time forever.

Description: Loki uses his time slipping abilities to talk to you one last time before making the decision he knows he has to in order to save those he loves. But, you aren't so willing to let him condemn himself to an eternity alone, or yourself to a lifetime without him.

Word Count: 1367

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN LOKI S2 EP6!! Angst, sadness, happy ending mostly

••••••••••••••

"How are you doing this?", you asked as you watched strands of space and time float around you and Loki throughout A.D Doug's workshop.

"We're outside of time. Darling, I had to see you. I had to speak to you." Loki said, a sorrowful look on his face that you had never seen before. "The Loom, it was a failsafe all along. And no amount of scaling can account for infinite timelines. I thought we had it, I really did", he explained.

"Damnit, we should have known it would be...", you lamented.

"I spent centuries trying to figure it out, and it was all for nothing."

"Centuries?" you questioned.

"It's hard to explain" he responded. "Darling, there are only two options. Go back and kill Sylvie before she kills He Who Remains and allow the Sacred Timeline to continue--"

You cut him off. "You can't Loki! The Sacred Timeline is full of misery, injustice, and sadness - what the TVA stood for under He Who Remains was all wrong! We can't go back to that. And you know you could never kill Sylvie...not after everything we have all been through together."

"I know...", he said, a sad knowing in his voice and his eyes. "But there is one other way."

"And what's that?"

"Me".

"What? You? I don't understand Loki..." you said cautiously.

"The finite power of a machine can never handle the infinite timelines of a multiverse, but the infinite power of a God can", he said as he watched your face intently for any hint of reaction.

It took a moment as you stared at him, blinking. "Do you mean..." you questioned, as the realization of what he was saying started to set in.

"Yes, my love. Believe me, if there was any other way, I swear I would take it. But there isn't. I know what kind of God I need to be, for you, for all of us. It's the only way."

"Loki, if this is what you have to do, then please, take me with you at least!" you implored.

"My darling y/n, you know I can not do that. I must bear this burden alone, and you must go live your life on the timeline, the one you deserve to have. I could never condemn you to an eternity of solitude at the End of Time", he said sorrowfully.

"But you'll condemn me to a life of solitude on Earth? Loki, I can't live without you. There's no life for me down there if it's not with you! Please, as long as our friends are happy, and I'm with you, that's all I'll need. Please let me go with you!". The last part came out as a sob as your emotions got the best of you. You couldn't believe what he was talking about doing, the sacrifice he planned to make for the ones he loved.

"When I go back there, to that moment in time, you won't remember any of this. You won't know you said you wanted to go with me," he reminded you.

"Loki, every version of me across space and time would go with you. Even into the abyss, if that's where you have to go. I will follow you, I know I will!" you fully sobbed out as you threw your arms around him. The thought of him leaving you was killing you.

"They'll stop you if you try to follow me, you know that" he said, speaking of your friends back at the TVA.

"Then tell them not to Loki! Please, I'm begging. My place is beside you, always and forever, no matter where that place is."

And then Loki was gone and everything turned to spaghetti.

••••••••••••••

Loki slipped effortlessly back to just the right moment in the Loom control room, having been here in this moment over and over for centuries. This time though, it was different. This time, it was the last time. Loki looked over at you and his friends with a sad and knowing smile on his face. And then with one last look, he turned and ran down the stairs towards the blast doors. He knew he could keep you from following, lock the doors behind him with impenetrable magic. But he also knew that in your heart, you would never want to be without him. You would resent him forever if he left you on Earth alone.

You, Sylvie, and Mobius ran down the stairs after him immediately, but he was already through the airlock doors. The three of you watched Loki open the blast doors with his magic and start to step outside, absent of any protective suit. As you reached out to open the airlock door and go after him, Mobius pulled you back.

"Mobius, I have to go! I have to get to him!!!" you screamed.

"You can't! The temporal radiation will kill you if you open that door and go out there, you know that!"

"But it's going to kill HIM!" you cried out as you watched Loki walk out onto the walkway.

But something amazing started to happen. As the temporal energy shredded his TVA clothes away with every passing second, something else began to take it's place. Flowing dark green linen draped his form, traditional and humble shoes appeared on his feet, and a horned crown adorned his head. He looked absolutely Godlike and regal. As Loki walked closer to the Loom - this imperfect piece of machinery that took so much from so many - he lifted his hands, called upon his magic, and destroyed it in a flash of bright green and white light.

Then, there was darkness. Loki wasn't done, though. He reached out to grab a strand of time and suddenly it glowed back to life, his beautiful green magic allowing it to thrive. He grabbed another, and another. You, Mobius, and Sylvie stood silently in the airlock, watching as Loki brought the timelines back to life, one by one, gathering them in his hands. Above him, a chasm opened in the sky, revealing the End of Time. Loki looked back one last time at the 3 of you back in the airlock. He had no idea if you would really come after him like you said - but he wanted to see your face one last time if it was truly to be the last. Your eyes locked, and you knew now that the temporal energy was gone, there was no threat if you left the airlock.

"I have to go with him." you said to Mobius and Sylvie. "His worst fear is to be alone, and he is going to condemn himself to a lifetime of loneliness to save us all!" you said as you opened the door.

"Y/n, please! Stop! You don't know what you're giving yourself to." This time, it was Sylvie who pulled you back, holding your arm so you couldn't run down the walkway.

"Yes, I do. I'm giving myself to love. I'm giving myself to free will, to choice, to hope." you said.

"Sylvie, let her go," Loki called out. "It's going to be okay." he assured.

Sylvie let go of you hesitantly, and you started your walk out to Loki. When you reached him, he could not take your hand, but you took his arm. Together, you began to ascend the invisible stairs to the End of Time as he held the reanimated timelines in his hands. As you both crossed the threshold of the chasm to the End of Time, He Who Remains' throne and the ruins of his citadel came into view. Loki walked forward to the throne, the one he never wanted but was always destined to have. The timelines took on the beautiful form of a tree - Yggdrasil, the tree of life - the tree of the multiverse that Loki would tend to for eternity.

"This is where I'll have to stay forever, darling. I can never leave, never move. Tending to the timelines is my glorious purpose, my eternal burden. Are you truly willing to stay here with me?" he inquired.

"Yes, my love", you answered without hesitation.

"For all time?" He asked.

"Always".

#loki x reader #tva!loki x reader #loki x you #loki #marvel #mcu #god!loki x reader #drabble #loki drabble #loki imagine #loki season 2 #loki s2 rewrite #not canon #loki series #mcu loki

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irulaan · 2 years ago

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OPEN WOUND | CARMEN BERZATTO

— He understand the sacrifices he has to do in order to see you smile, to not disappoint you — as he has done so many times even when you don’t say. He understands those sacrifices sometimes came labeled as family gatherings.

✧ PAIRING. carmy berzatto x fem!reader

✧ WORD COUNT. 3.6k

✧ WARNINGS. anxiety and u know all of carmy’s troubles. a loving family. mommy issues/parents issues/family issues, all the issues? i just watched like 3 episodes? so ooc carmy maybe? i don’t know… kinda corny too oops. no use of y/n. english isn’t my first language, expect mistakes.

Carmy was afraid of abruptly colliding with an imaginary wall, so he stays away. He knows pain, so if he can avoid it — hell, he would.

“I don’t really know about this,” He appears in your field of view, wearing his usual clothes and a familiar concerned expression — this shouldn’t be nearly as stressful as his days inside The Beef.

You instinctively approach him, mirroring his expression. “What’s wrong? Something happened?”

He’s taken aback by your question, but he quickly understands what you mean. “Oh, no, everything it’s fine, I promise… It’s not about nor has something to do with the beef.”

And he’s naturally lying; all his current worries have their foundations in the beef or what was left of it. He’s damaged far beyond that, but you’ve learned how to read him, when to inquire, and when to remain silent.

It clicks for you when you see he’s struggling to find the words; he’s trying to devise an excuse without hurting you. You feel foolish for a moment; of course, family reunions would affect him like this.

You reach for his hand, and then his arm when he avoids your gaze, “I can tell them we’re not going if you don’t feel sure about it,” You offer, and you can almost hear how the conversation unfolds inside his head, how his engines try to maintain a semblance of calm. “I was nervous too when I got to meet your chefs…”

“It’s different,” He deadpans, and you smile, resting your hand on his shoulder, trying not to appear too concerned by playing with a single curl of his rather messy hair.

He looks at you when you let slip out a nervous laugh. “How so? You call your meetings’ family’; that says a lot.”

There’s a beat of silence, and he withdraws from your touch. “But it is not quite real… and it’s still non-functional.”

“What are you afraid of, Carmy?” You stand there, feeling your stomach drops by seeing him like this over something that feels so different for you. “My family’s going to love you, I’m sure.”

He shook his head, his face already getting that characteristic light red tint.

“Making a bad impression? They’ll realize you’re wasting your time” His beautiful eyes refused to stare at you in such moments. He’s afraid someday, somehow, you’ll unleash your anger on him because he’s just a depressed, over-thinker, anxious guy. “I know how family meetings work… It will be a mess—I won’t be able to go through it…”

“What—what do you mean? Wasting my time?” Your incredibly soft voice so understanding, as if you’re deeply connected to his mind. It’s the only explanation he can think of.

He’s convinced he’s a waste of time, even now, yet you’re not getting upset; you’re not attempting to hurl accusations at him. Granted, you’ve never done that, and Carmen doesn’t truly believe you’re capable of it… but that’s how his wounded mind works.

Carmen doesn’t provide an answer, so you try to press on to reassure him. “Carmy, you’re not wasting my time—“

He looks at you amid your sentence and suddenly comprehends there are some sacrifices he’s willing to make for you. “Fuck—okay, let’s go.”

“Carmy, I’m not—“You’re visibly confused; he doesn’t seem to mind as he takes your hand.

“Please, I’m going to lose this impulse… just— I’m trying my best,”

A vast, relieved smile covers your face, and Carmen feels he’s gazing directly at the sun — and he loves it.

You cradle his face in your hands, gently making him meet your gaze.

“If you want to leave at any time, please tell me?” There’s a shy nod, and you realize it’s a futile question to ask. But you accept it.

“I love you, Carmy,” You promise, planting a gentle peck on his cheek before heading outside.

Your older sister obviously is the one who had to open the door, her and her extrovert energy, her weird-looking eyes, and her funny hairstyles. “There she is! My baby sister,” She usually crushes your bones under her sheer strength, and after it comes a shower of kisses. “Oh, god, I have missed you so much.”

And it’s good to see her this energetic and lovingly — you don’t want to cross her path when she’s pissed… and that’s her, the majority of the time.

She doesn’t understand personal space, so she doesn’t respect it. Your older sister doesn’t hesitate to give Carmy the same kind of hug. “And there you are! I’m Margot!” She exclaims, introducing herself and giving him a loud kiss on the cheek. Carmen only manages to whisper his name… “Mom, did you know that our baby sister’s boyfriend is the best chef in the world?” She shouts, ensuring everyone in the house hears her.

You gulp, and almost get whiplash from how fast your eyes look for his. He doesn’t seem comfortable at all; he’s stiff and fidgety, moving his fingers as if searching for something to hold. You offer your hand, and he wastes no time intertwining his fingers with yours.

As you step into the house, your sister closes the door and disappears into the kitchen, where you can hear your mom lightly scolding her. “Mags! You’re making him uncomfortable,” Then you’re greeted by her warm features and a soft smile that’s so similar to yours. She doesn’t even glance at you—her attention is fixed on your anxious boyfriend. “I’m sorry, child, she’s a bit like that,” she apologizes.

Carmy is enveloped in an endearing hug, the kind your mother or grandmother can only master. He suddenly wants to weep. How’s it that he didn’t deserve that warmth from his own mother?

It doesn’t last long, though. She soon wraps her arms around you, embracing you as tightly as your sister, and whispers how much she loves you. It’s characteristic of her—she’s unafraid to show her emotions.

And that’s all Carmen ever longed for.

“Where’s dad?”

She chuckles, shaking her head. “That old man forgot something… you know how he is,” she replies.”

And then, for Carmen’s well-being, another whirlwind approaches. He needs a breath of fresh air before whoever is descending the stairs arrives, ready to offer more hugs and love.

It’s your brother-in-law. Carmy’s lucky this man isn’t affectionate at all. “You’re earlier, bug,” he remarks, giving you a dry pat on the head, tousling your hair slightly. “Love, how did your baby sister do this?”

“Maybe it’s her boyfriend!” You heard Mag’s loud chuckle from the kitchen.

“Thank you, Carmen, for turning her into a punctual person, for god’s sake!” They shake hands. You observe your brother-in-law nearly stifling his inclination to crack a joke or be downright abrasive. He pledged to Margot that he’d be friendly… “It must be because you’re a chef; you can’t afford to be late, right?”

Carmy suddenly becomes hyperaware of his surroundings—the quiet conversation on TV, your mother and sister laughing in the kitchen, the distant voices of kids upstairs, his sweaty palms… and the broad smile on the man before him… expecting him to say something? God, he feels like a complete freak… “Yeah, th—that’s right”.

Did you fucking stutter?

You quickly notice his unease and almost drag him away from the man. “Mom, do you need help?”

“Baby? Your nieces are upstairs! Get them, please?”

After a sigh, you look at Carmen, who is already staring at you. He can clearly see how excited you are — how can you not be? When everyone loves you so much, and they show you? Even him right now, when he’s overwhelmed, he only can think about how much he loves you. “You want to stay here?”

He can’t; he’s going to have a panic attack. He’s overwhelmed by racing thoughts, the cacophony of sounds disrupting his thinking, and his heart rate threatening to skyrocket. He’s one sentence, one laugh, one scream away from losing connection with you. If he can’t step outside to breathe fresh air, he’ll cause a scene in your parent’s house. “I need to go out; it’s too much—“

“—I’m sorry, let’s go outside,” You almost drag him outside under the concerned stare of your sister.

When the cold air floods his senses, he can finally breathe properly. His fingers work on autopilot, seeking and reaching for a cigarette. He sits down on the old bench, you remained on your feet by his side.

It’s a whole scene you’re familiar with. Only lacking Tina and Richie’s loud screaming.

In moments like this, you know better than to exacerbate his unease with words and questions… he has learned to calm himself by his own means, and you respect that.

Once the cigarette is thrown away, you eventually become a part of his surroundings again. Carmy snakes his arms around your waist, pushing his head against your belly.

Your sweet smell comforts him. He inhales deeply when you card your fingers through his hair.

“You want to go home?” You ask, planting a kiss just above his hairline.

He begrudgingly distance himself from you. “Not really, it’s just—everybody loves each other?”

You pause momentarily, your gaze shifting from the bustling room to Carmen beside you. “I’m sorry about my sister and her husband, they have been like that since ever, and I understand if you feel bad; they mean no harm, tho” You completely miss the point.

Carmen looks at you — behind his eyes, a mixture of fear and frustration. “It’s not that, I couldn’t care less about it! It’s like I have—I have this fear—I’m not good at social interactions, I try my best—but did you see, heard? I fucking stutter! I—“

You try to comfort him through physical touch — laying your hand on his arm to ground him in the present. “You’re nervous; it’s expected, Carmy…”

He pressed his lips into a line. But you continue, “I’m or was as socially awkward as you are. Believe me when I say they’re used to odd phrases, stuttering, awkward silences, and silly laughs to avoid a question.”

“But they love you… it’s different,” He emphasizes. Carmen’s gaze remains somewhere else, his fingers fidgeting slightly.

“They love you too, and before you say anything, it’s simply because you make me happy, god! Carmy! They always tease me when I speak about you because I’m so in love with you because there’s always a smile on my face. And do you know how long they’ve waited for a huge smile from me? Years. And you know why, so yes, of course, they love you,”

He lets out a sigh, his shoulders slumping as he rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t really know what to say — I’m sorry, just my head messed up with me…”

A tender smile lights your face. “I know, Carmy, and I’m glad you can recognize when your mind is just playing games… you’ve come far,” you reassure him with a gentle smile. “And I won’t be pissed or angry about your insecurities or worries, but I understand if you’re waiting for me to almost kill you for it… It sucks, sure, but I understand. I’ve felt like that”.

Carmen’s gaze finally meets yours; he’s being so vulnerable right now that you only want to cuddle him, hoping all his insecurities vanish under the morning sun.

“Should we go inside? I don’t really want to worry your mother or sister,”

“If you want. If you need more time, we can stay here a bit longer,”

His voice is quieter when he finally speaks, a hint of relief lacing his words. “I’m better.” The tension in his body seems to ease slightly as he takes a deep breath, his expression slowly relaxing — he’s trying his best.

The soft sound of cutlery clinking against the dishes, the low individual conversations, the baby’s blabbing, and the dim lights on the dinning room shapes a homely ambience.

“You need to see her in action! She’s always been the best cook of the family, you know, Carmy?” Your sister interjects as her eyes light up with nostalgia.

That catches Carmy’s attention. He’s staring at you with genuine curiosity. So, stereotypically, your mom gets up in search of something. “Oh, you have to see her photos!” She chuckles, scavenging for the photo album. “She was so stubborn, wanting to make her own food for her or anyone’s birthdays, always looking for new recipes, she has done the craziest stuff!”

While your mother shows Carmy all your embarrassing childhood pictures, your brother-in-law can’t contain himself, he has to make a joke, and his playful grin gives him away. “I’m glad you’re a chef; she’s not at good as her parents want her to be.”

And your mother frowns, feigning annoyance, as Margot gives him a subtle punch.

“Because you suck at it, child,” Your father quips at him. “She’s good, right? Carmy”

Carmy considers for a moment, his gaze shifting from one sibling to another — he can mess up things if he doesn’t pick the right words. “Objectively, she’s quite decent. Some of her pastries are better than mine.”

You had plastered a lovesick grin on your flushed face. “I was born gifted, you see,”

He relishes in your soft giggles.

Your sister chuckles at the little scene your both doing, sharing a knowing look with your mother. “She was in diapers, building mud cakes outside, in the front yard…” Her stare lingers on you for a bit. “Do you remember, mom?”

Your mother nods, a fond smile on her lips. “Of course I do! Both of you treated your sister like she was a toy,” She teases her children. “Look at this, Carmen, she had been everything by the age of four.”

She finds her favorite picture of you, a huge smile paired with a set of eyes mimicking two big stars. “You were so cute.”

Your cheeks flush at his candid compliment, grateful for the levity that’s now enveloped the conversation. The shared stories and gentle teasing ease the tension, allowing Carmy to glimpse the playful dynamics of your family. He’s relaxing, finally starting to feel comfortable being around so many people that expected a lot from him.

Staring at each other, you both smile. And you don’t miss the dreamy sigh from your sister. You decided to give him a faint peck on his lips — earning a few ‘yuck’s and ‘wow’s from the kids.

“Okay, lovebirds!” Your brother said, rolling his eyes in feigned annoyance — but Carmen can’t read him at all.

Not wanting him to sour the moment, your sister fights him back, “Why’s your girlfriend not here, uh?” You feel Carmy tense beside you as his hand flies to your thigh. To ground himself, to brace his rushing thoughts.

He’s expecting confrontation.

Your brother only frowns, “Funny,”

And Carmen’s so stiff, he could break if you push him. By means to help him, you whisper into his ear. “She didn’t come because Mag told her she was a milquetoast” He looked at you sideways with a confused expression. “Was recently, tho, she’ll be fine.”

Your brother shrugged and seemed to be worked up about something your sister said, but you couldn’t catch it. “Stop treating my girlfriends like they’re your friends! That’s what happens.”

Margot would rather die than not have the last word; she was provoked. “Stop bringing girls that can’t take a joke!” You could hear a few choked sounds as they tried to repress a laugh. “They’re just bland as you…”

But that was enough for your dear mother, “Margot! Stop mocking your brother, you’re acting like teenagers again!”

“I think it is the midlife crisis…” Said your brother-in-law.

Your sister laughs theatrically, bending his neck to throw her head back. Just to come back and stare directly at your brother with a big smile. “Something we have in common!”

“Carmen, dear, you want more?” Your mother whispered to him, trying to keep the conversation for the both of them only.

She understands he is fairly timid and awkward.

He smiles at her, into her wrinkled eyes that carry a joyful gaze, at her delicate and low voice tone. “Oh, no, I’m fine, thank you—thank you… I—uh, it was fine” He feels like he’s making that weird face, and your mother’s smile grows. And before continuing, he runs a hand over his face and his already messy curls, “Sorry—it was great, I don’t have this type of homemade meal often.”

She nods, glad he doesn’t lie or coat her in praises. It’s nothing out of the world but has other qualities; it tastes like childhood, like home, like your best day under the sun. It tastes mundane and, at the same time, magical. And he can’t wait to be a recurring guest…

“I’m delighted you liked it. She should prepare meals like this more often for you… because I’m sure, she’s always eating like a princess.”

Carmy nods, feeling his cheeks flush under your mother’s discerning gaze, particularly as they discuss you. “She is. I care about her”.

Your mother places a reassuring hand on his, her encouraging smile not going unnoticed, “It shows, Carmy,” He feels on the verge of tears again. Hearing that he’s doing well is a rarity; he only ever hears it from you. While it’s enough, he wishes his family did the same. “You’re a great guy.”

A knot tightens in his throat, and all he can manage to mumble without breaking is a quiet: “Thanks—“, He won’t fight your mother’s words.

“You should come over for the holidays… we spend a week on the coast. My parents had a great house there, and it’s lovely,” breaks in your father, “Everyone would love to see both of you there…”

Everyone is nodding, excitement filling the air. You probably had the best memories in that beach house. But Carmy’s eyes are glued on the table, his fingers absently tracing patterns on the back of your hand.

As the invitations hang in the air, an uneasy tension settles between you both — shouldn’t you respond to that should you?

The weight of the offer, the promise of belonging, and the haunting fear of judgment gnaw at his thoughts. And he’s spiraling again.

Your mother, in hopes of comforting him, takes his hand. “Oh, yeah, child, we’re a bit messy but nothing too bad… you’ll like it,” She’s nonchalant about it; she doesn’t want to pressure him. But the oldest of her daughters had to interrupt her. “—Baby sister loves it! You’re going to love it there too.”

Carmy smiled and gave them a quick nod. Your father makes an “ok” with his hand, and your lovely boyfriend stops being under the spotlight.

In the car back home, under the low-volume radio, he sighs, his voice tinged with resignation. “I wish I could just… step into your world without feeling like I’m going to mess it all up”. His words carry the weight of his insecurities, the years of feeling out of place and never fitting in.

You reach for his hand, squeezing it gently, your silent support a comforting gesture amidst his internal turmoil. “Carmy, they want you there because of who you are, not who you think you should be.”

His eyes leave the way for a second to meet yours. You catch a mixture of yearning and gloom reflected in them. “I know, but… what if I can’t be what they want me to be?”

The ache in your chest matches the one in his voice. You can hear how he’s fighting within himself, the desire to be loved and accepted warring against his self-doubt. He was raised to feel like that. “Carmy, you don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to be perfect. They’ll accept you for who you are, flaws and all. I mean — they invited you over. They don’t do that often. My mother loved you!” It sounds a bit more gleeful than you expected. All because you’re excited he’s welcomed into the family.

He lets out a bitter chuckle, his shoulders slumping. “You say that, but it’s not that simple for me.”

The weight of his words hangs in the air, erasing your smile. And he regrets them the instant you recoil in your seat, even though it’s an unconscious action.

A second passes, and for him, it’s like minutes are splitting you, carrying you away from him. He doesn’t know what to say; he’s resigned, waiting for the consequences.

Again, it was a nasty point of view from his mind. You reposition yourself on the seat before speaking. “Carmy, we’ve been through a lot together. We’ve seen each other changing and for good. And I’ve always been there for you, if you still need space, time… it’s fine. We’ll find a way out, yes?”

He parks the car, and then his eyes search for yours. He longs to be better, to know better. For him, the restaurant, his family—for Sugar, for you.

“I don’t think I deserve you.”

A sad smile touches your lips. “Just because you’re going through a hard time doesn’t mean you’re less worthy. I loved you in New York, and I love you like this. Your past and present emotions and thoughts don’t get a say in what you deserve or not, especially when we’re talking about nice things.”

“But I’m—“

“—Carmy! You won’t make me change my opinion” Your tone is softer than severe — you’ll never be severe.

And he’ll never be unloved.

“Did you realize you didn’t bring the pepto?”

a/n: Shitty ending, I KNOW I’m sorry… If I keep writing, I am going to end nowhere, so it has to end like this JDKKW. Hope you enjoyed <3. Reblogs/comments/likes are very appreciated <3

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