#willing ​to fully believe the writers did this open ended stuff on purpose

[brutal-out-here]

Idk about y’all but the line of pink leading to the air ducts Caitlyn is later shown looking at plus the airship scene plus the “the end” thing being as if Jinx wrote it leads me to believe she’s alive

[virtueking233]

Definitely don’t regret asking this because it was insightful and interesting to read

Honestly, a lot of your points that you brought up make just… a perfect amount of sense and some of the major criticisms you have, especially regarding V9 and just how it has a crap ton of flaws/issues with its writing

Like, episode 5 was just a mess because while it has a few good moments like the Intimate WR moment or the Blacksmith scene… it just has issues like that nose hair thing or how they literally did nothing after episode 4 with the whole “Perfect shadows copies”

Or the issue with episode 9 and how WBY does exactly what Ruby got upset/was hurt by (comforting/helping Jaune and not her) or the issue about how WBY don’t at all seem affected/worried about Ruby and seem a bit happy

Or just in general, the issues with making Weiss mainly being comedic relief in V9 and not having a very serious arc

And I push some of these issues on stuff like Budget cuts or not enough time or missing episodes or all that stuff… I’m still going to partially blame the writers for issues

But anyways, I’m not here to complain or rant about V9… I’m here to rant about WR

And boy do I have some stuff to rant but I’m going to try and keep it small

By first saying: WR is really the only ship for Ruby and Weiss that makes sense to be developed and made canon

And it’s most likely going to be the ship that is made canon for Ruby and Weiss (if V10 is greenlit and we actually get more RWBY) because it’s really the only ship that has the potential and something to actually build upon in future Volumes/content for RWBY

Like, why have Ruby be the only person that notices Weiss pain/how she is hurting regarding the loss of Atlas/her home or have Ruby be the only person Weiss opens up to about pain/feelings

Or, why have Weiss be the first to truly realize and understand what’s wrong with Ruby and how she is hurting deeply/seems to regret putting burdens on Ruby or have Weiss be the first person to truly believed and accept that Ruby might change and no longer be herself after ascension and is willing to accept her no matter what

I don’t get why some people say WR won’t happen/WR isn’t romantic or won’t be romantic/WR isn’t going to be canon because of this and this

When you easily see them possibly building something up or see the very strong potential for Ruby and Weiss relationship to become romantic through certain stuff like:

The whole development of Ruby being Weiss true home and how she provides Weiss with a sense of purpose and warmth

As well as

Weiss being the person who fills in the hole left in Ruby’s heart by the loss of Penny/Summer and helping to fully piece Ruby back together again (because she is only somewhat whole)

Or

Ruby and Weiss constantly trying to make amends for failing each other and trying to do their best to help each other/support each other in any way they can

As well as

Them coming together to carry each other’s burdens and protect each other because they have come to realize how important they are to each other and how they must be there for each other

There is obviously something that could be being developed or easily some major potential to develop something more for Ruby and Weiss relationship

And it’s just so frustrating to see people just be… ass’s about this stuff or just whatever

Especially when I’m not even touching the tip of the iceberg when it comes to WR content

I could write three essays on WR developments and their relationship

I could write a essay on how if Ruby and Weiss never had each other as partners, neither would be who they are now and probably would end up becoming their worse selves/would never truly be balanced and have issues

I could write a essay on symbolism regarding WR or Visual storytelling regarding WR

I could write a full essay on the whole importance of the Weiss summoning the goddamn nevermore because of how it relates to Ruby and Weiss relationship, mainly on the aspect of Understanding each other/having faith in Ruby

I could write essays about why others ships except maybe NND, just don’t work and don’t have anything really to properly develop the ship or the characters just don’t work with either Ruby or Weiss

Overall, the point is… it’s so frustrating and tiring to see some people be like “WR won’t happen” or “V9 is a perfect Volume with no flaws” when it can be very clearly see that its kind of wrong to say that

Anyways, I hope this rant wasn’t a bit,.. too much

What are your thoughts on WR development overall and your thoughts on WR being developed/made canon in V10?

Ugh I am going to ramble about everything here I can feel it...well you asked for it. I apologize for none of it, and if you all hate me at the end well I don't mind.

Volume 6 and before are pretty much great. They go from kinda at odds to tentative friends, learning to trust, and rely on each other, best friends, pining over one and other and V6 was a loooot of WR for us to feast on.

Afterward I felt like it got sidetracked. There could be various reasons for this (in hindsight I feel like Penny being given a way bigger role so her death could hit harder is to blame for part of this because realistically how long has Ruby known Penny? A month?)

Even if you don't like the ship they're supposed to be canon best friends so I take personal issue with almost all of volume 9.

I think it was sloppy writing that didn't move the story forward, and even though I don't care about Bees I feel like they still got shafted since they basically were forced to confess to move things along, and them doing so made them miss out on the sister/supposed friend and her problems, and only showcased the worst sides of the relationship.

For example Yang let's Ruby scream at Weiss but only moves to do something when Blake gets yelled at. Blake and Ruby still have...less dialogue than Ruby does with Ren I think etc.

Jaune was too present merely because his entire deal took away from Ruby's imo.

I've said it before but frankly Nora falling and learning who she is away from Ren so when she sees him in V10 she's ready for the relationship is far more satisfying to me narratively.

Leave Jaune above ground so he has to deal with the fact that he thinks he failed his friends and they all died and let him learn from that experience instead.

This also doesn't take into account that Jaune's one interesting change in 9 (being old) is taken away via random deaging (although I guess this makes deaging canon and hey young maria this is how dwr can still win! more at 11!)

Generally when characters go through a volume you want some sort of arc for them to go and change through. Weiss gets none of that. Out of all the characters nothing really happens to her, and she doesn't change at all. She's just sad about Atlas. Neat.

There's no time for it just like there's no real time for Ruby.

In Ruby's own words 'gotta help Jaune right?' and they do. Ruby removes herself from the census, which is how its framed, and they stop to...help Jaune.

There are a few moments that are WR'ish in 9. The Nevermore summon, Weiss believing in Ruby, and calling her name first etc, but overall Weiss's main job is to backslide.

I said it before but in the market Neo, the perfect assassin is after Ruby, and they split up. Weiss goes 'gross nosehairs', and ditches her best friend who she already knows by that point is NOT doing well.

This is not Volume 1. This Weiss is not that petty, and she's literally had to manhandle corpses. The fact that she wouldn't stay near her canonical best friend, and leader is asinine, and only happens so she can be alone to meet the smith.

Even if Weiss can't help Ruby fight Neo she's an extra pair of eyes (and Neo doesn't care how crowded it is in the market), and just being there for Ruby can help.

With all that said RWBY is big into symbolism. When WR are together in almost all the side spin off material it means something. Manga Anthologies has them making heart eyes and flirting like every other page. Ice Queendom was a love letter to WhiteRose (precious?). The movies, etc.

When their weapons rest next to each other on screen like the Bees do? It means something. When their flowers break ranks to be near each other (and Weiss's flower is the lily please note)? This means something.

Ruby can stand and jump from missile to missile but has to wrap her arms around Weiss to stay seated?

If Chibi continues it's pattern of predicting things in the main plot then the fact that Weiss is the woodsman in the fairy tale means a loooot as in several versions of that fairy tale the woodsman marries little red after helping her deal with the wolf problem (which varies by the story).

They're the knight and princess for each other. Ruby comes into Weiss's live turns it upside down, and helps her change. Likes her for her genuinely and wants to be her friend at the start. Through this she changes the world for Weiss, and helps her grow, and Weiss in turn helps Ruby be the leader she can be.

But yeah I guess that's just friends things and they should date some guys they've had like a half a dozen lines with instead? I don't get it really.

She and Oscar punch each other in the face, and they talk about strategy. Oscar has a younger kid crush on her, and Ruby is awkward because that's her headmaster in this kids head. Oh right he went in for a hug she ignored. Peak romance.

Jaune and Weiss have almost no interactions, and when he saves her at Haven her response isn't to be like 'omg i love you' it's 'keep doing it i have work to do'. Are they friends now? Sure, but that's about as far as it goes.

It remains that outside of group hugs the only person that's allowed to initiate contact with Weiss almost all the time outside of battle is Ruby.

Ruby knows when she needs help and will guide her away when she needs it, but other people don't' touch Weiss unless she does it first because they know she doesn't like it...except Ruby.

I have tried to look at other relationships for them, and I honestly don't see them as realistic.

Even Penny would need a lot more development to make it work. I get that it's cute and wholesome but they've known each other for again a month, and Penny just defers to Ruby.

Ruby needs a partner and equal not a submissive enabler. That's a relationship you have with a pet, and not a person.

Now if Maria were young and hot that'd be different...

Anyway...

Ruby and Weiss are partners. If they're allowed to have the much needed conversations they never seem to get, ie haven, ever after, Ruby's mom, everything, etc.

Then is it possible? Maybe. If they do go WR I suspect it'll be more hints, and slow ramp up until the final season.

I would expect it either on the eve of the final battle, or literally during it maybe as in Weiss gets feds up with waiting, and decides to do something about it.

More likely at this point is they'll both just end up single with maybe faint hints so fans can imagine what they want for it.

Would I prefer it if it was WR so the team can truly be family? Yes, but I don't even know if we're getting a volume 10 at all to be honest. The fact that it wasn't announced at the last festival, and we get an extended eppy, and then nothing after the last movie?

Not making me feel super confident. I could be wrong though. On many things. Except Young Maria.

[rachelbethhines]

TTS Songs Ranked Worst to Best

Someone asked me to rank my fav and least fav TTS songs a while back, but I’ve since then relistened to the soundtrack and there’s a whole bunch of songs that just forgot about, so here’s a more accurate ranking now that the songs are more fresh in my mind

32 .  Life After Happily Ever After (Reprise)

This song is infuriating, because the finale is infuriating. Listening to this song just makes me angry all over again because it reminds me just how unsatisfying the ending to TTS was. I wanted to turn it off at several points. I barely can get through it despite it being so short. It doesn’t help that the soundtrack leaves all the dialogue in there and fails to actually end the song. It just cuts off before the final note.

31. Hook Foot’s Ballad

Does this even count as a song? Why is it here on the soundtrack but not the Hurt Incantation? Did Menken really waste his talent writing a joke and did the showrunners really waste money and limited resources on this?

30. Friendship Song

Bland, boring, and pointless. It was clearly written as a marketing stunt for the radio disney charts and not as anything to do with the plot of the series. They just throw it up on screen to fill out the running time and don't even let the whole song play through. It’s pitiful.

29. Waiting in the Wings (Reprise)

I didn’t think much of the original song one way or the other, but the reprise is soooo dumb. The plot twist it introduces winds up ruining the whole show and sabotaging both Cassandra’s and Rapunzel’s characters. It’s not even a nice sounding song on it’s own. The kid’s voice is irritating (who I’m sure is doing her best, but really little kids shouldn’t be made to sing professionally as a general rule) and the melody just as bland as the first time it was played. The only reason to like this song is if you’r a mega fan of Cassandra’s or her VA, which I am not. (Note: this is not a criticism of Eden Espinosa, I just don’t happen to follow any of the VAs in this show)      

28. Through It All

I like the instrumentals in this song, and that’s about it. Everything about this song is wrong. It doesn’t fit the story, it’s a misuse of the cast and songwriters, it’s a waste of valuable screen time, the melody is dull, and the dang soundtrack had to throw in that lame dialogue about ‘greatest threat ever’ at the beginning. If you want a pump up song in your story then you got to earn it. You can’t just tell us things are bad, you got to show it. A joyful horseback ride and everyone sitting in a bar safe and sound isn’t threatening or depressing enough to warrant a cheering up session. Plus the song itself doesn’t add anything to the overall story.

27.  The Girl Who Has Everything

Sometimes I think the writers were willing trying to sabotage themselves. It’s as if they were determined to make the only two main female characters in the show unlikeable bitches in season three.   Don’t believe me? The creator Chris has said this song only exists to highlight how much easier Rapunzel has things than Cass and went onto say that Rapunzel was in the wrong during their conflict because ‘she held Cassandra back’. (Oh yeah she totally ‘held back’ the grown woman who left on her own accord, returned on her own accord, and then assaulted and tried to murder a bunch of people for no reason of her own accord.) But this song does succeed in furthering season’s three narrative that Rapunzel is a spoiled selfish brat. Shame the story fails to address this setup and never has Rapunzel learn to be a better person. Rather the narrative bends over backward to tell us how special Rapunzel is without any sense of self awareness and this song falls into that same trap; making it both irritating and pointless.

26. Listen Up

Yeah, I talked about this on my salt marathon, but I just don't like this song very much. The melody is fine but the lyrics are a real miss in my mind. It doesn’t help matters that the song is indeed pointless in the grand scheme of things.

25.  Livin’ the Dream

This is much on the same level as Listen Up as it features the same problems. It doesn’t add to the narrative and the lyrics kind of let it down. I placed it higher just because I like the melody a little more.

24.  More of Me

This song is a lot like the Friendship Song in that it was created to be an end credit song for the pop charts and you’d be forgiven in forgetting it even exists. However, it at least got to actually play all the way through. I think this song was a real missed opportunity. I honestly believe that it should have been the opening theme song of the show instead of Wind in My Hair. It’s more built to serve such a purpose and it’s a waste of resources not to actually use it. Alternatively, I would have accepted it being reworked into the actual series as a character song. Especially since we’re missing a song in season three due to budget cuts.  

23. Wind In My Hair

Speaking of theme songs, I think I would like Wind In My Hair a lot better if i didn’t have to listen to it every episode. On its own it actually has a lot of things going for it; a nice melody, interesting instrumentals, good singing, ect. Unfortunately it’s just over exposed, and none of those elements lend themselves naturally to an intro song for a tv show. In fact the theme song feels really out of place and is edited oddly to fit the shorter intro. 

22. Wind In My Hair (Reprise)  

Honestly the theme song is mostly comprised of this reprise, but it has the opening instrumentals from the OG song frankensteined onto it. This means that the version that plays before every episode is on fullblast all the time to keep the energy up, but that’s not how the song is suppose to go.  The actual reprise that plays in the pilot builds to a crescendo, starting soft and melancolony and getting louder and more hopeful and determined. It sounds a lot better in full because of that.  It’s still too overexposed though. Both these songs would probably be higher on the list of not for the theme song version. 

21. With You by My Side

This song is fine. It’s nothing special, but it’s not bad either. What knocks it down the list is the fact that Lance isn’t in it, despite Lance being right there.  Like don't bother hiring a famous Broadway singer if you’re not going to have him sing!  But that speaks more to the poor writing of season two than anything else. This song also doesn’t really add anything to the narrative as, contrary to what the writers intended, it doesn’t actually enhance the emotional impact of Cassandra’s betrayal later in the episode. The song itself is just tacked on and doesn’t take the opportunity to lay down any foreshadowing for that plot point.  

20. Next Stop Anywhere

Another perfectly serviable song. It’s not bad but nothing outstanding. It gets the job done. It’s also really ho-hum and the soundtrack keeps all the unneeded dialogue, which is a pet peeve of mine. 

19. Waiting In the Wings

Despite it’s hype, I never thought much of Waiting in the Wings. It’s got nice instrumentals and Eden Espinosa gives it her all in the singing department. The problem is it’s too generic. It’s a bare bones basic ass ‘I want song’. Cassandra's movations are weak and unsupported by the narrative, the melody is boring, and it honestly doesn’t add anything to her story. I mean it should, it’s her character solo, but because she’s written so poorly the song just winds up undermining the character in the end.   All I’m saying is that, this is not the song from season two that I would have nominated for the Emmys. But it’s still Alan Menken, it’s still nicely performed, and given the rest of the competition for that year, it did deserve to win. 

18. If I Could Take That Moment Back 

This song is also pretty generic, but it’s less boring than I See the Light, (yeah, I said it, I See the Light is boring) so that’s a win in my book. Ergo this holds the title of the only New Dream duet that I enjoy. But there’s better stuff on this list. 

17. Next Stop Anywhere (Reprise)

Well no, I take that back. The reprise of Next Stop Anywhere is also technically a New Dream duet. It’s still not anything amazing, but it works for what it is. Plus, Adria’s opening dialogue in the soundtrack version doesn’t bother me quite as much as some of the other dialogues choices that were kept in.  

16. Stronger Than Ever Before 

I really enjoyed this song in the moment. It’s catchy and fun, and it finally has Lance doing something rather than ignoring his existence. However it is borderline unnecessary in terms of story placement, and I’m slightly mad at it now that I know that we could have gotten a Rapunzel and Varian duet but it was scrapped for this instead.   

15. Crossing the Line

Keeping with the theme of ‘songs I have conflicting emotions about’, we have Crossing the Line.  This song is confused. It starts and stops, the melody isn’t clear, the orchestration is playing tug of war with the singers for dominance, and it’s basically Alan Menken and the show’s creators ripping off Frozen. (I guess he’s kicking himself for leaving that particular project?)   But it’s interesting. I never heard anything quite like it. It’s memorable even if it doesn’t fully work. It’s got these interesting bits and pieces to it that just never quite comes together as a whole. Some of the lyrics are some of the best Glenn Slater has ever wrote and is far better than the story actually surrounding the song. Yet there’s other lines that are total cringe. Sometimes the song is bold and catchy and gets you all hyped up, and then other times its limp and staggering and feels so awkward to listen to.  Yet it’s not boring or generic and so I have to place it higher than the rest of the songs that’s come before. (Also, there’s some amazing orchestral covers out there that really pulls together the various parts really well, just fyi) 

14.  Nothing Left to Lose

I really don't like this song.  I’ve been one of its biggest critics ever since it was leaked by the marketing team earlier this year.  And yet... I can’t in good conscience place any lower on this list.  All of the problems I have with it are the exact same problems I have with Crossing the Line. It’s confused, the various pieces don't line up, the instrumentals are competing with the vocals, the song’s progression is weird with it’s constant key changes, some of the lyrics are good while others are absolute shit, ect and so forth.  It also actively works against the story it's trying to tell. The song wants you to sympathize with Cassandra, but her lines are as shallow as a puddle and makes her look like a sociopath. Especially when she’s physically attacking Varian through out for no reason. Also neither character learns anything from the exchange and it fails to impact the story.  By all accounts this is a bad song.  But I’m Varian trash.  There I said it. You happy?  Varian’s parts in the songs are fine, good even, and the song is anything but bland. I would rather listen to a mess then be bored to tears by a competent yet standard four chord pop song. 

13. I’d Give Anything

This song is nice to listen to. Story wise it absolutely sucks and shouldn’t have been in the finale at all. But it sounds pleasant.  This is one of those songs that could pop up randomly on the radio and I would just think it it a nice sad break up song. I can’t say that about some of the other misplaced songs in the show. This one however, you can very much, absolutely divorce this song from the narrative and it would be fine.  Now that’s not good writing, and it’s very much a waste of limited resources, but I’m rating the music here first and story second. 

12. Buddy Song

The Buddy Song also absolutely did not need to exist but it also sounds nice. Plus, it makes use of Lance so I’m a little more lenient towards it.   I can’t however place it higher since it really is just Alan Menken ripping off Alan Menken. Like, I would not be at all surprised to find out that this was originally a deleted song for Aladdin or something.  

11. Bigger Than That

What can I say, Lance just gets good songs. When the show bothers to give them to him.  Unfortunately, it’s not the best placed. It kind of interrupts the more important drama of Be Very Afraid, and probably should have been saved for a later episode. Especially since it hinges on a plot point that is contradictory to Lance’s character.    We should have gotten a Varian and Rapunzel duet here and given Lance his own episode in the second half of season three. This song could have easily been refitted into being a bonding moment for him and the girls. That would also have filled out the season’s original songs to the usual eight instead of only  seven.

10. Life After Happily Ever After

Now we’re getting to the good stuff. The top ten. The best of the best.  This song makes the cut for three reasons.  1. It lyrically and musically interesting 2. It does the job of furthering the story and the characters  and 3. Eugene’s part is so damn good.  Like this song could have easily fell down into the ranks of ‘fine but generic’ if it wasn’t for the bridge with Eugene. That puts it over the top and to my mind makes it better than anything from the OG film. (well almost anything, Mother Knows Best is still great)    This is the barometer by which I measure all of the music in the series. Is it better or worse than Life After Happily Ever After? Because this is the level that I equate good musicals with.  What keeps on the tenth spot and not higher is the dialogue that still left on the soundtrack and the lack of a Cassandra introduction. That and also the rest of the songs are just flat better. 

9. Hurt Incantation 

Hurt, Decay, Reverse, whatever you want to call it, this was such a cool fucking concept. One that was utterly wasted by the show.  I place this so high because it just sounds awesome! It looks good too, and it offered up so many possibilities from a story perspective.  What lets it down is the lack of follow up for it and it’s too short. There’s needed to be another verse. It also should have been on the actual soundtrack instead of  Hook Foot’s Ballad.  (The Heal Incantation also was sung in What the Hair, but I’m not counting it since it was written for the film) 

8.  The Girl Who Has Everything (Reprise)

I hate the initial song and the set up that it took to get here, but I love this reprise. It’s perfect. This is what the story needed more of. Rapunzel taking her life into her hands, and her proposing to Eugene would have been the perfect capstone for her arc.  In fact I’m angry we didn’t actually get that. There’s absolutely no reason why Rapunzel couldn’t have done so and we could have had her and Eugene engaged during the second half of season three. How much better would have it been if Cassandra threatened their wedding plans and that’s why they couldn’t go through with it until after the series ended? So much more tension that way. 

7. I Got This

This is a really good song that actually futhers the characters and the narrative. Moreover it’s refreshing to see the heroine not be perfect and to fail sometimes due to her own inadequacies. It’s just a shame that the series didn’t follow through with this set up, but I appreciate the attempt all the same.   

6.  Set Yourself Free

This is the only song in the series that’s an actual satisfying pay off for anything. Music wise it’s nothing too special, but in terms of context it just works. We were sorely deprived of such resolutions and songs with actual meaning in the show. 

5. View From Up Here

This song is too good for the episode it actually appears in. We needed something like this back in season one to introduce Cassandra with. It also sadly doesn’t fit with the wider narrative after season three. However I shall still appreciate it as a ‘what might have been’ type song. 

4.  Let Me Make You Proud 

The only reason why this song isn’t higher is just overexposure and I’ve no one to blame but myself for that. I’ve listened to this song way too many times. As such it tends to alternate between this, View from Up Here, and the next song on the list. But make no mistake it is glorious. Fantastic instrumentals, set up, and of course amazing vocals. 

3.  Everything I Ever Thought I Knew

Yes, I know this plot point didn’t lead anywhere, but it works for this song at least. Also Eugene’s VA is a really underrated singer. He sounds nice and he emotes really well.  Though I’ll be honest, this jumped up to third place because it was fresh in my mind after listening to the soundtrack before making this list. I’ve always liked the song and I do rate it highly, but it can change places with Let Me Make You Proud and View from Up Here at anytime depending on my mood. 

2.  Let Me Make You Proud (Reprise)

This song is heartbreaking!  Story wise it probably shouldn’t exist because it gives away the twist too soon, but who cares, it’s awesome!  Varian’s arc is the most compelling in the show and the only thing that saves TTS from falling into mediocre obscurity; and it’s songs like this that help make the arc stand out even more than it already does. 

1. Ready As I’ll Ever Be

I said it before and I’ll say it again; Ready As I’ll Ever Be is the greatest thing Alan Menken has ever written in his entire career!  If you know anything about the multiple award winning songwriter then you know that is no faint praise and I do not dole it out lightly.  This song is the reason why this show even has a fanbase. People are still getting into the series because of this song. And no matter how many times you listen to it just rocks!   It’s complex, layered, moody, and with a fantastic beat and energy. The performances are wonderful and the instrumentation glorious. It belongs in the hollows of Disney’s greatest hits and not regulated to a spin-off tv show that failed to make its money back.  I weep for the lost potential that this song and this show had. It hurts to know that so many people will never see this flash of brilliance that has come out of the House of Mouse, will never know the wonderfulness that is Varian.  Ah, ‘c'est la vie’, I suppose. Tangled the Series got what it deserved, but it's crew did not. While I can not in all honesty recommend the series in full; I do sincerely urge any Disney fan to check out the songs at the very least. Especially this one.  And that’s it. There’s my official ranking of all the songs, and I hope those of you read my Tangled reviews appreciate the hours it took into making this. 

[gaiamax]

Don’t call me, Evan

Trigger warning: implied childhood sexual abuse 

All secrets are deep,

All secrets become dark.

That’s in the nature of secrets.

Writer, Cory Doctorow

The youngest member of the station had felt off all week, like the ground way swaying under him. It had made him irritable and brought long-buried feelings and experiences back to him. As he steps into the house that belongs to Athena and Bobby, he can hear the conversation about going to church for the coming Easter weekend. Joining the adults, he makes his way into the kitchen.

When Buck doesn’t join in the conversation, Bobby involves Buck directly by asking him a question. “Just about  everyone else is joining. Are you coming as well?”

“No” Buck answers much too quickly. “After everything I’ve been through. God is either a dick or not real”

“Buck I know been through a lot this past year but he never asks for more than we can handle” Bobby tells in a soft tone while placing a hand on his shoulder.

All the young man can do is stare at it and watch the flashbacks fade in and out, his brain can see both that man’s hand and Bobby’s and finding it really hard to tell which one is real. At last he bites out “Then your god asks way too much of twelve-year-old boys.” he pulls Bobby’s hand off of him and walks quickly to where the children are playing video games. Buck’s statement causes everyone to look over at Maddie for answers but she shrugs her shoulders.

……

It's the shift after the service most of the firefam had attended and now they were sat eating dinner with Maddie and Athena. The conversation had polite chat, catching each other up on their jobs for the day. The familial atmosphere changed when Athena brought up a new topic.

“So you know that man, I was talking to,” Athena starts. “He set up a community centre in a small town called Ridge Lake…”

Before Athena can continue Maddie buts and adds “That’s where we grow up, you wouldn’t believe Buck, it was Travis Miller.” For Buck that’s way to close, he ran away from that town and him, that off feeling he had been having all week has finally come to a head. It feels like someone has thrown a bucket of cold water over him. “He was like Buck’s mentor as a kid,” she tells the team before turning her head to her brother “You should go see him and thank him, I gave your number to him.”

Everyone waits for Buck’s reply but he never gives one instead he just bites his lips, willing any sliver of emotion down.

Hen speaks with the confusion the rest of the team is having “You’ve never mentioned him before.”

Trying to sound nonchalant Buck starts to speak “it didn’t come up.”

Athena, slightly annoyed at being interrupted, huffs and starts to speak again “he wants to set up one here but he needs donors. So I’ve agreed to help him set up his presentation but we need others. It’s Wednesday, I know the kids are on break, he’s fine with them coming.”

Everyone agrees to help out, Buck wanted nothing more than to say no but now he knows the children are going to be there, he has to say he’ll help too, to make that they stay safe. “I’ll help too” he manages to get out his voice, cracking.

……

Buck can see Travis’ hand on Christopher’s shoulder and his blood runs hot in his veins. He marches over one purpose in mind. Taking two steps at a time. When he’s finally at the two, he wrenches Travis’ hand off the shoulder it’s resting on and slams him into the nearest wall. “Don’t fucking touch him! Or anyone else. Why don’t you just leave, no one wants you here” Buck whispered harshly still holding the older man up against.

Taking a soft placating tone, that had a bite only Buck could hear the older man replied: “Now, Evan I know we’ve had our disagreements but that’s hardly reason for you to attack me”. He says his statement loud enough, so the attention in the room is silenced and brought them. “Think of the impression you’re giving your friends and their children. Your sister even” With that Buck turned his head around, seeing the looks of confusion of the adults and the fear in Christopher’s eyes at his outburst that seemed to come from nowhere.

He let go of the man and ran away to the small room jutting of the hall with his eyes trained on the floor. When he was finally in the room alone with the door close, he sets himself against and just chokes out sobs for a few minutes before hearing a knock on the door. “Boy!” Athena chortles in her usual, you’re in trouble voice that in this moment is somehow comforting. “You need to explain what the hell that was. Let me in.” Before doing her command he squares himself; clenching his jaw, standing to his full height and wiping the tears away with the back of his hand.

He lets her in the room, before stepping as far away from her as much as the four walls would allow. Buck can see that that action, has made an impression on Athena with her raised eyebrows which she quickly hides. “Travis Miller” she states, looking Buck straight in the face.

“What?” He replies, his face etched in confusion. “He’s here?”

“Travis Miller. He runs a community centre that helped you as a kid and is trying to set one up here.” She states again but the tone, more commanding this time while she stares at his face, he feels like he’s back in the bank heist interrogation. For a second Buck wonders if she figured it out but he watches her eyes wander over him for answers.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Buck asks, while trying to make his face impassive and make some distance between him and that man. He knows it’s a futile effort after his display but he has to try.

“He’s the one who helped you get records expunged,” Buck inches his head up from looking at the floor and just regards her with a dirty defiance, which falters her for a half a second. He knows it’s because it's a look you’d never see on his face or could imagine. “And he’s here now” she replies quickly trying to get the answer out of him.

“How do you know that? I told you to stay out of my business” he shouts slamming his hand on the table.

“We’ve been in the hall for two hours and you’ve haven’t spoken to once. Then out of nowhere, you attack him.” She tells him unfazed by the slamming of his hand against the wall and him moving closer. Buck can feel the heaviness of her eyes roaming over him, looking for any cracks in his brittle armour, so he stills himself.

“So, what?” He shouts even louder this time, trying to get that distance from everyone.

“Why don’t you want to talk to the man who made you being here possible?” She asks completely calm, only wanting an answer so she can understand.

Athena demeanour was in direct opposition to Buck who threw one of the spare chairs across the small room. “Damn you, Athena. It’s none of your damn business.”

“He says that what happened between you two is your fault,” Athena says trying to persuade him, to give her answers.

“I’m warning you, Athena,” He tells her with more poison than a scorpion while shaking his head “back off!”

As he spits out the final letter the door flies open, and Bobby, Eddie and Chimney are there staring at him in anger and disbelief. “We heard shouting and stuff being thrown,” Bobby says while checking over Athena, making sure she isn’t hurt. Which only convinces Buck that they can never know, they wouldn’t ever trust him again.

Choking down the bubbling cries in his throat, Buck speaks “I’m going to go home”

Even though it didn’t need an answer Bobby gives one infused with a striking bite “I think that would be best”

……

It’s five hours later and Buck is still sitting in his bathroom; where he had been since he got home, he had a panic attack in it and hadn’t felt well enough to leave. At his moment the bathroom was the safest place in his studio because that was the only room that had a lock on the door. The only place where he felt safe in his whole home. The safety of the room was interrupted by knocking, he had ignored for the better part of five minutes. It had only continued, but this time it was accompanied by Bobby’s voice. “Buck, I know you’re in there. Answer the door.” He was told by his surrogate father figure. All Buck wanted to do was pretend that he wasn’t home, but he knew couldn’t Bobby would just come back later so on shaky feet he made his way to the door. Before it was fully open Bobby walked inside and sat down, waiting for Buck to join him.

“What you did earlier was not okay!” Bobby told Buck who nodded his head agreeing. But then the older man continued speaking. “You're a different person than who were as a kid and the person who joined the station.”

Buck moved further back on the sofa, turned his head to the side and Bobby could see the defensiveness take hold of Buck’s features. “Are you trying to say something to me?”

“Only if you’re hiding something, you need to trust us” Bobby back-pedalled, speaking softly. “Trust us enough, to tell us about it”

But Buck's defensiveness was comfortable where it was “Bobby. It’s not about trust.” As he took in a deep breath to start to speak again, the stronghold of defence had been replaced by a desperate need to be believed. “It’s about having a little privacy. I got the right to keep something to myself.” Buck told him while pointing at himself during ‘his right’ and slamming his hand on the coffee table at the end of his sentence. “Look at us, man, we practically live together already” Buck moving back as he started putting even more distance between the two men, escaping any comfort Bobby was trying to give. The thought of being touched by anyone right now wanted to make him vomit.

Buck can see Bobby thinking before he speaks. Then he finally opens his mouth, “c’mon we’re going to miss dinner.”

Buck voice comes out like a sacred child looking for approval “I’m still allowed to come?”

“You’re still family. It’s family dinner” Bobby answers with how you would speak to a toddler. Under his breath, the older man continues on “maybe we’ll get something out of you.”

……

As he stepped into the house, Buck saw Travis sitting at the table drinking a glass of wine. The minute his brain makes the connection, he turns round on his feet to leave but Bobby blocks the door. “No, Evan. Whatever happened between you two, you need sort it out. He obviously cares about you, after everything he’s told me about you, I don’t think I could be as nice.”

“Don’t call me Evan!” Buck spits from a clenched jaw, trying to get through Bobby again.

“Look just stay with him alone for twenty minutes after that if you still want to leave you can” Bobby tells him, Buck eventually nods blinking tears away.

……

Bobby joins the others in the living room and asks “Do you know what happened?” to Maddie.

Maddie just her head and speaks with disbelief “He should be Buck’s hero. Travis practically raised him after our father died, took him on trips, mentored him, they spent all their free time together”

That when all clicks for Athena, her brain finding the final piece of the puzzle it had been doing in the background for the better part of two weeks. “We should have never left them alone. I think I know what he’s afraid of” She tells everyone, but the strange angry panic in her voice worries Bobby. The older couple share a look, Bobby eyes widened and shakes his head. They let a second pass, letting the new information wash over them before running to the two men, followed by the confused others.

They are just out of sight of the two, when everyone freezes on the spot at Buck hissing out “Travis.” It’s a sound so foreign coming from Buck.

“They won’t let you leave?”, the man replies in a casual uninterested tone.

“You already know” Buck answers getting more angry.

“I told them that you allow your emotions to control you” Travis begins to taunt his face curling into something barbaric “like a child. But they already know that.”

“Really because Bobby said you were saying good things about me.” Buck counters trying to spit venom and muster up any confidence.

“You’re good at football, is that meant to be secret?” He asks again unfazed by the man… no the boy

“No, that wasn’t” Buck answers after a second, turning his away to lose eye contact.

“I don’t follow”, Travis continues his tone moving back to casual.

“ All these years. I kept my mouth shut. I let you go on being the hero Travis Miller my mentor” Buck shouts with anger and confidence finally make itself known coupled with conviction. It’s Athena who unfreezes first but something tells her not to move just yet.

“What are you talking about?” The older man asked but this time slightly vexed.

“God, I was so afraid of you. I was afraid of the police, afraid of losing everything I was gaining. But that’s how you work isn’t it. You make sure there’s a hell of a lot to lose, don’t you?” Buck asks angrily through the silent tears. Bobby and Hen unfreeze together, she looks over at him for confirmation. Her answer in a sad soft nod, both of them go to step out but stopped by Athena who just shakes her head.

“I don’t know what you think you remember” Travis replies vexed but trying to remain casual.

“It’s not about what I remember. You sent videos to me of my own abuse” Buck shouts again, wiping the tears away. At that everyone else unfreezes, a blazing fury burning in all of them, but slightly brighter in Maddie and Eddie. Athena stops them before they interrupt telling them he needs this confrontation.

“Now, you’re just talking crazy.” Travis tries gaslighting half heartedly, knowing that he’s got himself in a situation he can’t get out of.

“God, I should have told somebody when I was a kid! When you were helping me. Well, you know what happens in cases like this; once the dam breaks, the flood comes. One person steps up, then another and another. Because we’re not scared of you any more, we know we’re not alone.You’re your own dam.” Buck his voice filled with sobs and cracks but he also holding his head up high with authority.

“Whatever lies your making up.” Travis shouted back.

“They are not lies, you did it to me. You did it to me and filmed it” Buck counters, leaving no room for excuses.

“I did nothing to you or any other kid” Travis tries again but faltering, he has nothing to fall back on.

“One by one, they are going to pile up until there’s so many accusations- you can’t say they’re all lies.” Buck tells him enjoying the fear that he felt on Travis’ face

“ Do you have any idea how many kids I’ve helped get out of our town? Hm?” How many lives I’ve provided.” Travis asks slamming his hand on his chest. At that Bobby can see Buck’s body start to shake violently with sobs. “Look at you. You’d probably be addicted to drugs or dead by now”, the older man says with disgust.

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t for free, was it?” Buck chokes out.

“I pulled you out of the gutter”, Travis tells him a look of betrayal in his eyes.

“I pulled myself out of the gutter, all the way to the LAFD!” Buck shouts back, with even more conviction, this man doesn’t get to claim he the reason for anything good he himself has done.“I did that!”

“You saying I had nothing to do with making who are?” Travis asks, spit flying out of his mouth.

“No, Travis. Actually I’m saying you have everything to do with making me who I am” Buck speaks calmer than earlier.“Because of you, I get to spend the rest of my life actually helping people”

“Look Evan, I never hurt you.” Travis tell Buck trying to hurt the younger man much as possible.“You could have said no.” Buck lets out laugh that is dry and humourless that quickly turns into more crying.

At that Athena steps into the room with her phone to her ear, “Dispatch, I need….”

Her voice is hidden by Travis shouting “I’ve helped a lot of kids.”

“Shut up, you’re lucky I’m not beating the shit out of you.” Eddie tells the man, anger dripping from every word while he and the others use cable ties to attach him to the chair.

“The community centres are needed, it’ll be worse without them.” He tells them, anyone who will listen trying to convince them to let him go.

“Somebody’ll keep them running. The emergency services will. Athena will.” Buck states back.

As he is turning to move to the other room, he hears “Wait. Wait. Evan… isn’t there something you can do for me?”

“You can go to hell” Buck tells him without looking back

Toss a comment (and reblog) to your writer, oh valley of plenty.

[sunlitroom]

Gotham – s5e04 – Ruin

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham:

Tabitha was a dumbass. Jeremiah shot Selina.  Ivy gave her a magic seed. Selina visited the Church of Jeremiah.  Ed has memory loss. Jim has several sugary talks with orphans. Oswald went to Haven to get his people back. Barbara showed up to shoot him, but Jim wouldn’t let her.  Then everything went BOOM.

As always, long post will be long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism.  Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

In case we are not fully aware of the pathos of the scene, and in keeping with Gotham’s recent habit of absolutely beating messages home – we open with a teddy on fire.

There’s chaos and flames all around.  We see people panicking.  Oswald wakes slowly, blinking  He stands and stares aghast at the flames.  We see Barbara behind him.  She aims agun at Oswald's back – but looks round at the carnage and wavers.  A baby cries, and she lowers her gun and runs off.

Jim calls round for help – organising people.   It’s notable that even though he needs to be commanding here – his tone is also downright harsh.  This is underlined when he spots a dazed and shocked cop, and shakes him – telling him to snap to and focus, before slapping him for good measure.

Looking round, Jim spots Oswald.  Grabbing him, he accuses him of causing this by bringing the gangs here but – to be honest – while it’s blustery and loud, it doesn’t feel genuine. As soon as Oswald starts to protest, Jim lets go almost immediately, losing focus on him as Harvey approaches and asks what they can use to put the fire out.  Jim tells him the drinking water is their only option.

The fire is out, and it’s morning now.  Jim stares up at the burnt buildings. Harvey approaches and Jim tells him he wants to send search parties in for survivors. Harvey nods – but also hands him his badge, which was found in the building, shaking his head as he does so to let him know that the boy wasn’t found alive with it.

Jim tells the nameless voice at the other end of the radio that the death toll stands at 311.  There are 49 injured, and 2 dozen unaccounted for. The voice asks who was responsible. Jim says that there was a gang incursion, but admits he doesn’t know and can’t rule anyone out.  The voice promises help and tells him he has every right to be angry and upset, but Jim switches off – disillusioned.

We can hear now that there’s a rabble outside – and Jim goes to investigate.

Jim descends stairs and tells them to let the angry crowd they’re restraining through. They yelling random angry questions and accusations – when will he find the culprits?  How do they know they’re safe?

Oh Lord.  Jim is gearing up to another speech.  They can’t destroy the hope we’ve built up unless they let them.  Justice will be done, and we will stop this from happening again.

The crowd is not really mollified

Jim retreats to Harvey and Lucius, and they all acknowledge that someone has to pay for this.  Jim tells Lucius to find something. Lucius tells him it won’t be easy – but Jim tells him to do whatever he has to.

Lucius leaves.  Harvey comments that the building blew up when Barbara arrived – and Jim adds that she disappeared immediately after.  Harvey’s not sure about his own observation, though, saying it

Doesn't make sense - even for her

Jim says nothing makes sense anymore, and leaves.  Deep stuff there, Jim.

At Jeremiah’s church, Bruce is still rattling the gate - yelling for Selina.  We see a stained glass window of Jeremiah in the background, as some guards approach him, and attack

(An aside.  Nope.  Can you imagine how furious Jeremiah would be to find out that some random guard had murdered Bruce Wayne? I find it hard to believe that they wouldn’t all know Bruce’s face better than their own – as well as the penalty for harming him)

Fortunately for Bruce, Alfred appears, and despatches the guards.  Bruce tells him he was worried he didn’t get the signal – nudge nudge – and then asks what happens.  Bruce clumsily tries to cover up – but Alfred realises that it was Selina, and Bruce admits that she’s out for revenge and is in a dangerous situation.  Alfred says this is a recurring theme with madam (hey, fuck you, Alfred).  He comments that one day Bruce will realise that he can't save her from herself – but until that day comes, it’s time they should head off and find her now – don’t you think?

Sirens - and a bunch of tacky velvet furniture.  Babs – the red velvet goes with literally nothing else.  Please. Give it up.

Jim enters (not for the last time this episode!)

One of Barbara’s pulls a gun on him, but Barbara says to let him through – he’s either here for information or thinks she had something to do with that atrocity.

Jim says she was desperate for revenge against Oswald – who had been in the building.  Barbara says she could have killed Oswald right there but didn’t.  Jim asks why she didn’t.  The writers don’t have a real answer for this yet – so Barbara angrily retorts that the person who did this has to pay – that’s all that matters.

Jim says she’s worried Sirens might be next.

(An aside - Eh?  What would the motive for that be?  Haven can be seen as a sort of bastion of law and stability – it makes sense that more lawless factions might want to send a message. Would they really bother blowing up a brothel?)

Barbara says she’s already put of feelers – there was a shady guy lurking outside Haven

Jim is rather pissily dismissive.  Jim – you have nothing else.  Behave

Barbara also mentions something about a building to the north-east of the park

Jim asks how much the information has cost him.  Barbara tells him to do his job and get the bastard.

As he turns to leave, she calls after him

Do you really think I could have murdered all those people?

Jim says he doesn't know

Barbara says she guesses she deserved that

Jim stares at her.

Harvey contacts him to let him know that they have a problem.  Jim leaves.  

GCPD, where Oswald standing in a carefully arranged pose with his coordinated henchmen.

O hai eyepatch guy!

Jim approaches, and we get Oswald’s foreign jangly music.  

Oswald - what are you doing here?

Jim – it’s woefully apparent that you’re outmanned, outgunned and out of options…. so I’m here to help

Oswald hands Jim his gun with a smile.  Jim remarks that this is generous – and Oswald tells him he’s only getting started.  His henchmen bring in boxes of weapons. Harvey looks at him askance

Well aren’t you St Nick on Christmas morning?

Oswald tells them not to be shy, and take what they can carry.  

Jim says he guesses that there are strings.  Oswald says there are none – the only string will be the one cinching round the neck of the bomber.  And really, Jim – that should possibly have been your first clue that Oswald might not be on board with a custodial sentence.

Oswald continues.  He lost people too - people Jim lured with promises of safety, who were then incinerated

However – he’s willing to put that in abeyance, and for them to put aside their considerable differences, and get the people some justice

What do you say, partner?

He holds out his hand. Jim takes it.  Oswald smiles – and Jim looks serious.  

(An aside.  

So – sort of a lot here. It echoes the scene with Barbara, a little.  Both Barbara and Oswald are horrified by what happened to Haven. They offer Jim help sincerely.  In both instances, Jim suspects them of self-interest

Oswald is pissed off about what happened to his people, and he’s pissed off that they went to Jim in the first place.  I have no idea whether I’m supposed to think he digested his lesson from last week. That lesson – in itself, was dependent on the notion that the manipulative Oswald had no clue he was hated. Now, I’m to believe he’s sort of forgotten that big lesson (underlined by Penn’s death)?

For what it’s worth – I believe he was genuinely horrified by what he saw, and he sincerely want to offer help.  He’s still stinging, though, from what happened last week – and that will inform his actions)

In the library, Ed lurches awake. There’s a suitcase next to him.  He prods it cautiously before opening it and finding it empty.

He talks into a recorder – a method to keep track of what’s happening to him amidst all the memory loss. Have you tried drawing a clock, Ed?  Here’s the one to beat.  The bar is not high

He remarks that he’s been on a trip or is going on one, before noticing a smudged message he’s written on his palm.  He figures out that it says ‘inmate at 1215 knows’.  He assumes that inmate refers to a prison inmate, smiles, and heads out purposefully.

We see old posters from Oswald's mayoral campaign pasted to a wall in a street down which Jim, Harvey, Oswald and several cops and men of Oswald’s are striding.

Harvey is talking to Jim, trying to convince him that Haven wasn’t his fault.  Jim snarls that he hadn’t given the people the hope he had promised, and now they were dead.

Jim starts talking about how they will conduct the search, but massively underestimated the speed with which Oswald would be drawn to a megaphone. Oswald begins proclaiming that the vile miscreant who was responsible for Haven’s destruction has nowhere to run.  His men and the GCPD are two forces – he gives Jim a wink at this – united in one purpose.

They’re almost immediately sprayed with bullets.  They take shelter behind one of the cars. Jim comments that the shooter’s position means they’re sitting ducks. Harvey remarks that they’re sitting ducks and one penguin – and Oswald pulls a face at him before yelling to the shooter that they have more weapons and more ammo.

A voice responds that it’s pretty cosy up here – thanks guys.

Realisation dawns on both Jim and Oswald’s faces.  As Oswald incredulously remarks that he knows that voice, Jim calls out Zsasz

We then finally see Victor at the window.  He offers a jaunty

Hey guys – what’s up?

Before blowing a little kiss

 A GCPD, Ed manages to sneak in by stealing a blanket from someone sitting near the door and draping it over his head.

He makes his way to the record room and starts rifling through files.  He finds the one he was looking for, but as he pulls it from the drawer, it’s taken from his hand.  He turns to see who’s taken it – and find himself smoothly pressed against the filing cabinet by Lucius, who has pressed his hand against his chest.

(An aside - Ha!  Has Ao3 crashed yet with the influx of people frantically hitting the 'New Work' button?)

Ed’s face breaks into a grin when he sees that it’s Lucius who’s found him, and looks generally entertained by the circumstance.  He asks Lucius if he ever learned that it was  

Impolite to sneak up on people

Lucius smiles back at him

So is breaking and entering.  I heard you were dead, Ed.  What are you looking for?

(An aside – there a quiet ‘no’ from Ed when asked about being dead.  He’s obviously not dead now – but he was for a while.  Ed seemingly has no recollection of what happened to him)

At the opportunity to pose a riddle, Ed gets very intense

I’m given - not taken – I’m with you from your first breath and follow you until death.

Lucius thinks for a moment before answering

Name

(An aside – Ed and Lucius are standing pretty close while that riddle is posed and answered.  There’s an odd bond between them – and Lucius’ ability to answer Ed’s riddles seems to affirm it.)

Lucius wanders off with the folder, before turning to face him and asking what it’s worth

(An aside – I posted a set of images of this elsewhere.  It is pretty much a perfect recreation of Ed’s attempt to flirt with Kristen by telling her that houseflies buzz in the key of F.  Their positioning, Ed’s gestures – all identical)

Ed poses a little, and asks what the going rate is on dust bunnies

Lucius smiles, and tells him the file is valuable to him,

Ed smiles back.  

(An aside - I’m saying ‘smiles’ a lot – but, honestly, there’s a lot of smiling.  They pretty much go back and forth between being weirdly pleased to see each other, and vaguely flirty teasing.)

Money is worthless, and I have no snacks on me…..what would you like?

(this is precisely the moment where I’m guessing a lot of the fanfic will diverge pretty hard from canon…..)

Lucius replies

Your expertise

Ed smiles and draws himself up taller - visibly pleased.

Lucius says that Ed must have noticed what happened to Haven.  They want to know how it was done so they can avoid it happening again.  

Ed grins and walks towards Lucius, hands clasped behind his back

So.  The 2nd smartest man in Gotham needs my help

Lucius replies that explosives are not his expertise

Ed smiles wider

I didn’t realise you had one

(Did a shipper write this and send it in and then they just decided to go with it?)

Lucius grins at this – and Ed promptly tries to grab the file from him, but Lucius effortlessly keeps hold of it – staying completely calm.  Ed gives in, and Lucius shakes his head at his antics

Just - why?

He then asks whether they have a deal or not – to which Ed offers a sulky fine. He leaves, and Lucius follows.

(An aside - See, Gotham - this is how it's done.   You've never forced this interaction, or lavished an excessive amount of screen-time on it, because you've never had to: the characters share common ground as well as key differences, and it feels natural and plausible enough that viewers accurately guessed at aspects of this story before airing.  There's logical reasons that these characters would work together and - most importantly - a natural chemistry.  I'm not having it crammed down my throat while being told how wonderful it is.)

Back with Jim, Oswald, Victor and co.  

Victor shouts that he - 

Did not make that building go boom, Jim

Oswald says Victor gave up honour a long time ago – why should they believe a snake like him?  

Victor replies that he would never take credit for someone else’s work.

Oswald yells angrily that he would betray anyone for the right price.

Victor replies that if this is about Sofia Falcone, then Oswald should move past that – it’s not healthy

Oswald is fulminating when Jim asks him to concentrate and tell him if they’ve got enough ammo to cover him for two minutes.  Oswald calculates and replies

For you, Jim.   Let's say two and a half

Jim looks up at the building, then over his should at Oswald

Give me everything you've got

(Ooo-er, missus.  Gotham’s really blessing me with the double entendres this season.  First of we had Ed telling Tank ‘I’m gonna guess you gave it to me’ and now it bestows upon me Jim growling at Oswald ‘give me all you’ve got.’  I mean, come on.)

then abruptly cease fire

Oswald nods. You can count on me.

Jim gets ready. Oswald looks at his watch, and yells

Go

There’s a hail of gunfire. Jim runs into the building.  Victor leans casually against the wall, drinking a milkshake, waiting for them to finish shooting.

Outside, Harvey and Oswald join in the shooting, before Oswald yells ceasefire

Victor turns and aims, and Jim tackles him.

As they leave the building, Victor handcuffed, the cops and Oswald’s men applaud.

Victor waves like the applause is for him, and praises some of the men

You were great.  No hard feelings

Oswald approaches Jim and offers a well done, commenting that they make a hell of a team.  And I know that we’re supposed to be applauding Jim’s heroism, and rolling our eyes at Oswald – but this stunt wouldn’t have worked without his guns and ammo.

Oswald asks Jim to allow him to deal with Victor.  Jim says this is more than his vendetta, and they need to see if it’s part of something larger.  Oswald agrees – and says he excels in the loosening of tongues.  Jim’s not having it, though

No - he's mine

He leaves, and Victor waves from the back of the car.  Oswald fumes.

(An aside – as always, I am biased in favour of Oswald.  I do, however, honestly think he sincerely wanted to help Jim find the culprit. He’s trying, as best he can, to be nice – talking about their teamwork.  He’s genuinely pleased.

He gets sidetracked by finding Victor, and loses it a little.  And although they play it off here as humour – Oswald needing to move on – Oswald has just cause to be incandescently angry at Victor.  He colluded in having him sent to Arkham – the source of a tremendous amount of trauma for Oswald.  He also saw how close Oswald was to Martin – yet still used him to have him sent down. That’s going to press a number of Oswald’s buttons – and we know that Oswald will react emotionally.

If Jim hadn’t been in such an assy place – he might have realised that including Oswald, allowing him to sit in on Victor’s interview, was likely the better move. He’ll still feel that the partnership is genuine, and he’s more likely to respond rationally if he feels respected, and when he is allowed to participate in the process. However – exclude Oswald, slight him – and all you will end up with is an angry and irrational Oswald who feels the need to reassert himself.  What happens later could have been avoided at this point by a cleverer man.  At the moment, that man is not Jim)

Church of Jeremiah.  Selina follows acolytes into some kind of workroom, where we hear someone sobbing and wailing.  We can hear the foreman saying Jeremiah is pushing the men too hard

We see him now as he adds that there’s no way to make their schedule.

(Er – wasn’t he dead before? That’s definitely the annoying stoner who was using the children as slave labour.  He’s even more definitely someone we saw Jim shoot in the head.  Does Jeremiah have the means to reanimate people? He was pretty friendly with Ra’s for a while)

Meantime – Jeremiah is tired of him, and cuts his throat

Well, not with that attitude you're not - let's reach inside and dig a little deeper. It’s the only way you’re making it out.

He licks the blood from his knife while Selina’s glare burns a hole in his back.

Ecco approaches Jeremiah reverently.  He’s talking to himself – two sides of him arguing.

It’s a nice gift, he’ll like it

No he won't

Ecco stares rapt

Jeremiah turns and spots her.  Ah.  There’s the woman he’s sexually attracted to.

He asks if there are these all the recruits.  Ecco thought he would want quality over quantity – not everyone can pass her test of faith. Jeremiah agrees that she has set a high bar for devotion.  He grabs her neck and pulls her close, then turns her head to the side to see her scar.  He then begins to dance with her.

She tells him Bruce Wayne and his sidekick Curls (or is he the sidekick) are here.  She really wants to kill him, and can walk really well for a paraplegic.  He twirls and dips her.  If she sees her, she’ll give him a shout.  He grimaces. She adds and kill her – which makes him smile.

Ecco is left all hot and bothered by their dance.  Jeremiah watches as she leaves with the recruits – followed by a disguised Selina.

Ed and Lucius investigate the ruins of Haven.  For a moment, Ed seems a little shaken by the scale of the destruction.  

Ed takes the lead.  

The superstructure is largely intact – so not c4 or semtext.  With this kind of deflagration – you’re looking at gunpowder or nitroglycerine.

They pass ideas back and forth a little.  Ed says it’s a classic locked room mystery.  Lucius is stumped.  Ed says there was no bomb – the building itself was the bomb – just detonate the heating oil.

Lucius holds up a piece of glass

That doesn't explain this

They look up at the window. Whatever ignited the oil – they speak now in unison

Smashed through the window

 At GCPD, Victor’s head is pressed against the table. He remarks it’s a nice table.

This recap is interminable – so I’ll summarise a little.  Jim asks why he shot at the cops if innocent. Victor says they were shooting at him, and they’re cops – plus, those were warning shots.  

Victor essentially says it wasn’t him – he’s not added any scars to mark those deaths.  Jim leaves to take a phonecall.  Victor says Alvarez can strip search him, since he’s handsome.

Lucius tells Jim that Haven was destroyed by an RPG like the helicopter was – and they’re now looking for the rooftop the shot was taken from.  Jim says his suspect was on the ground. Lucius tells him he needs a new suspect.

Oswald arrives at GCPD, wanting an update on what has been happening.  Jim tells Oswald he has to leave.  Oswald asks if victor is still claiming innocence, and Jim says the evidence backs him up.  

Oswald says he didn’t expect Jim to go soft.  Well – actually, he did.  That’s why he didn’t come alone.

His henchmen arrive, and Oswald sends one off to bring him Victor.

Jim says that torture isn’t justice.  Oswald says that as misguided as he is, his old friend Jim is correct.  Despite inflamed passions, he won’t rush to judgement.  He’ll let the people decide.

As Victor is led away, he aims a parting shot at Jim

Good to know who's really in charge, Jim

Oswald smirks

On a rooftop with Ed and Lucius.

Lucius confidently remarks that this is it.  Ed is impressed, noting all the calculations Lucius must have immediately carried out regarding trajectory.

Yep – and there’s the RPG case right over there

Lucius puts on gloves to handle it, hoping it will provide clues as to who did this. He’ll get it back to the lab.

A subdued and troubled Ed says it’s doubtful someone who could pull off this intricate plot would leave evidence.  Lucius agrees – but says it’s all he’s got.

Ed shrugs.  Well. maybe I’m wrong.  He unhappily adds a quiet, I hope so

He turns to Lucius and tells him, sincerely

I truly hope you find whoever did this - and you make them pay

Lucius looks at him for a moment, and then hands him the file he wanted.

As promised.  I appreciate your help Ed – I couldn't have done it without you

Ed blinks, surprised. Lucius continues.

And if you tell anyone I said that - I will deny it

He gives a cute little flex of his shoulders, grins at Ed, and leaves.

A smile breaks out on Ed’s face – which widens as he looks down.

(An aside – My my, isn’t Ed left all swept and flustered?  Lucius is very charming, and Ed is decidedly charmed.)

His smile disappears when he opens the file and finds that the inmate is deceased.  He yells in frustration, and throws the papers away. As he looks out despondently – he spots a woman in a wheelchair in the apartment opposite.

His first response is to yell for Lucius to come back – but he’s left.  He jumps and waves to catch her attention – but the deaf old bat doesn’t hear, and he leaves to go question her.

 At city hall, Victor sits down on an ornate chair, looking unimpressed.  Harvey remarks that he’s got no love for Zsasz – but are they really going to let this happen.

Jim says if they try to stop it, they’ll turn their anger against them.  Harvey says they need to do something. Jim asks what.  Harvey mentions another speech.   Fuck, no, Harvey.  Mercy.

Jim ponders that this is maybe what the people need.

Oswald is playing at being judge.  And also the prosecution.  Oswald’s having a high old time.  

Order in court!

Victor protests that his rights are being violated, and Oswald orders him gagged.  He asks his witness where he saw the defendant.  He replies coming out of the building.  

Oswald plays up the melodrama – talking about the beloved souls lost.  He asks if there were any other witnesses – and virtually all assembled raise their hands.

Oswald says Captain Gordon would have the court believe that all you fine citizens are mistaken, and Victor Zsasz is not responsible.

He turns to Jim and asks if he wants to say anything.

Jim looks round, and says that it wasn’t a bomb.  There’s disgruntled yelling.  Oswald shushes them.  Jim tells them it was a RPG fired from a rooftop which caused the explosion. If Victor was on the ground, then he can’t be guilty

There’s more disgruntled muttering.

I know you all want justice.  So do I .  You’re angry - scared – help may not be coming.  We may be on own.  If true - what we do now is more important than ever.  But this?  This is not justice.  Not who we are

Oswald approaches, and leans to speak into Jim’s ear.

I'll consider that your closing argument

Oswald puts it to the crowd

What say you, jury?

They all yell guilty

Victor is taken to a guillotine – because Oswald is just that dramatic. He beats his gavel

By the power vested in me by…. well, me – you are sentenced to die.

He asks if Victor has any last words.  I’m almost positive Victor steals Sydney Carton’s last words at the guillotine.

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done…..

Jim and Harvey step in and disrupt things enough to stop the beheading.

Oswald is livid

What the hell are you doing?

Jim says he’s keeping them all from making a terrible mistake.

Oswald is now beyond furious, and screams that Jim Gordon cares more about protecting a murderer more than protecting you

(An aside. @zara2148 mentioned elsewhere that this seemed especially charged with personal resentment – and I would probably agree.  Oswald’s anger at Victor is rooted in the whole Sofia Falcone business.  Although he’s moved on from that where Jim is concerned – the sense of anger and betrayal hasn’t abated.)

He leans in close to Jim

They don't believe in you anymore.  They're mine now

Jim shoves him away – and Oswald flies backwards.  He’s helped up by solicitous henchmen – one of whom is eyepatch guy.

(An aside. Amidst the silliness of the court stuff, there’s deeper content.  Oswald and Jim aren’t so different.  They both want to establish order.  They both want the love of the people.  They both think they know better than anyone else how justice ought to be administered.  Jim’s been on an ego trip just as much as Oswald.

Jim has, for a long time, Not Responded Well to being reminded by anyone of his kinship with several of the rogues.  He blusters and yells and throws his weight around whenever this happens.  What we saw here was just that in a more dramatic public setting.  Oswald’s words hit home – and Jim couldn’t bear it.)

Jim and Harvey drive to some deserted area with Victor in the car.  Harvey says Victor is not safe at GCPD – lots of cops want to see him on the slab.  Jim says they’re not taking him there.  It’s either a matter of letting him go or letting him die for something he didn’t know.

They release him.  Victor turns to Jim

Thank-you, Jim

He adds that the city never be what he wants it to be – it’ll always belong to the bad guys like me

Jim walks away, and tells Harvey to give him his gun

Harvey is unimpressed

What?

Victor is equally surprised

Yeah what?

Jim repeats himself. Victor asks if he has a death wish, because he will kill him. Harvey too.  Jim replies maybe.  Or maybe he’s just tired of listening to Victor.  He tells him to do it.

Victor tilts his head

You know what - you seem tired.  Let’s do this another day.

Jim responds to being outdone in the maturity stakes by Victor by sort of lamely repeating what they said earlier and then telling him to go away.

People like you are always trying to own the city.  They never will.  Get the hell out of my face

An angry Harvey turns to Jim

A shootout, are you serious?

Jim sulkily says he could have taken him

Harvey is singularly unimpressed and angry at him

Never ask me to do anything like this again.  Pull yourself together

 At the Church of Jeremiah, Bruce and Alfred take out workers.

Up in the room we saw earlier, Jeremiah fans himself with his hat and inspires his workers.

You see – the river cuts through rock not because of its power, but because of its persistence.  So when you feel like giving up….

His workers have heard this before and chant

Dig a little deeper

He continues

When you can't go on any longer…

Dig….

He sees Ecco – but as she draws close, she removes her mask – and we see it’s Selina.  She knifes Jeremiah in the gut/torso area

Deep enough?

Jeremiah chokes, and tries to speak

Well Selina.  Well Selina, I must say

Selina snarls

Don't say anything

She knives him repeatedly, and we get a lot of focus on Jeremiah’s pained expression.  She raises her hand to aim for the heart, but Bruce grabs the knife from her.

It's done - it's over- let’s get out of here now

Selina looks down for a moment at the body - a little like someone has thrown cold water over her.

A fight ensues when Jeremiah’s followers see what has happened.  Alfred hurls a smoke bomb, and they escape.

 Ed climbs stairs in the fancy apartment building.  Why is this place so pristine?

He remarks he hates stairs before finding apartment 1215.  He knocks, and the old woman who answers tries to tell him to go away.  Ed assures her he won’t hurt her – but needs to know what happened.

She tells him what some part of him was starting to realise on the roof.  It was Ed who was there – holding a rocket.   He shakes his head – and says it’s impossible.

He looks over at the rooftop, aghast – and the woman takes the chance to hit him over the back of the head with a vase.  Ed starts to remember what he did, and when she hits him again – sees her witness it all.

He turns.  She apologises and tells him she won’t tell anybody.  Ed says he knows she won’t.   She protests that he said he wouldn’t hurt her.

Ed says he’s really very sorry – and pushes her through the open window

He falls with the force of it, and stares out looking shocked

Uh oh.  Well – we had Selina stabbing Jeremiah earlier, and now it’s time for the second ill-advised penetration of the episode.

Jim sullenly drinks alone in his office.  Barbara enters, pointing out that the spotlight is off, and asking if he forgot to pay the electric bill.  

Hilariously, Barbara's makeup has been getting progressively lighter and softer to make her more palatable for this storyline.  Compare her first episode hair and makeup with how she looks here.

They’ve removed a ton of makeup, lost some clothes, and given her one of Oswald’s softer haircuts. That could be s1 Barbara with her hair up.

Jim gravels a what do you want at her.  She says she wants the same as him – to protect her people.  Jim, a little snottily, tells her that her tip didn’t pan out. She offers another – a lead on a guy selling RPGs.  Jim’ still set on snotty mode, and asks if that’s all. Barbara tilts her head, and says that she heard some of his people went over to penguin.  She grins

Can't win ‘em all.  Poor Jim.  All alone again.

(An aside - All alone? Not really.  People throw friendship at Jim.  If he’s in his office drinking alone, it’s because he chose to.)

Jim growls at her to get out, but Barbara is enjoying taunting/teasing him.

No-one knows what it's like to be him.  To carry the weight

I told you to leave

I heard you

She leans in like she’s going to kiss him, but stops short, pats his face, and walks away.

Jim delays for a moment, before grabbing Barbara to kiss her.  This is inadvertently funny – because given the length of the delay, and the sound of how many steps Barbara took - Jim must have freakishly long arms to have reached her from there.

They kiss to overly doomy and melodramatic music.  Calm down, Gotham - they're not spawning the antichrist.

General Observations

Pull yourself together

Ruin is an apt name – because it wasn’t just Haven that went to pieces last week.

Oh Jim, Jim.  How far the mighty have fallen, and how quickly we’ve resorted to old ways.  Snarling, picking fights, drinking alone.  I should feel more sorry for Jim here – he felt responsible for those people, and now they’re gone.  But it’s all too inextricably tied to his ego to feel nothing but pity.  Does he feel grief for the people he’s lost?  Of course.  Has his self-perception suffered a serious dent at having ‘failed’ to save them? Yes.  Which one has motivated the pity party? Tougher question.

To go a bit weird for a moment, his situation reminds me a lot of this tarot card. Partly because of the imagery - but also the meaning

The Tower is about a sudden catastrophic event – something that shakes you to your core. It’s often revelatory – and what it usually reveals isn’t very flattering.  The tower is built on unstable foundations: illusions and delusions, false beliefs.  Jim’s sudden transformation into hero was very sudden.  Not so long ago – he tried to ally with Falcone primarily because – as Carmine pointed out – his pride was bruised.  He allowed Harvey, his closest friend, to believe he was a screw-up for too long – and took the captaincy he was so proud of.  If anything – the crisis has felt like a sticking plaster: he’s been forced to focus on the here and now.  And he’s done well – in many respects – but those old problems were still festering.  

Now the tower has come down, and revealed shaky foundations.  The same old coping mechanisms are there.  He’s taken Harvey for granted, squabbled with Oswald, snapped, snarled, blustered, tried to start a gunfight, and now he’s drinking alone in his office and latching on to the nearest warm body.

Harvey told him to pull himself together, but Jim’s nowhere near it.

Oswald fell to pieces with the arrival of Victor.  There were festering resentments there – but he was content to put them aside to find the bomber.  When Victor appeared, it opened a Pandora’s box of anger and pain.  How Oswald pulls himself together remains to be seen.

Barbara seemed to be pulling herself together when she was unable to shoot Oswald – realising not only, perhaps, that Tabitha had a fair part in her own death – but pulling herself together almost to a much earlier version of herself.  A version that was horrified by the carnage round her, and who couldn’t contemplate killing someone.

Selina seemed to almost sober up when she saw Jeremiah on the floor.  I can’t honestly begrudge her the revenge she took – but they took care to show us Jeremiah responding to each stab. I don’t know how Selina will move on from what happened.  She seemed to pull herself together in that split second afterwards – but by that point, the deed was done.

Ed most literally began to pull himself together – all the fractured elements of himself.  It started, in a sense, with Lucius – taking him back to the old Ed by having him investigate the bombing.  Later realisation dawned slowly, then forcibly, with the blows to his head.  Ed’s pulling himself together – but it’s a painful experience.

Sundries

Well – it was throwback Thursday all round.  Ed decided to play forensic investigator again, and reenact his flirtations in the records annexe for good measure.  Harvey and Oswald let a criminal go free.  Oswald made another dramatic entrance to GCPD, and Jim and Barbara hooked up.

There’s maybe something of a theme of dealing with the repercussions of your actions.  Jim agrees to take weapons from Oswald – but then has to deal with Oswald’s idea of justice.  Jeremiah faces the repercussions of shooting Selina. Selina will now need to deal with the repercussions of stabbing Jeremiah. Barbara and Jim’s tryst will have repercussions, the most tangible of which will make appearance in nine months.  Jim will have to live with the repercussions of turning Victor Zsasz loose.

So – I do think they’ve made both Jim and Oswald carry sort of needless conflict balls this week – presumably to put them on difficult ground before Bane arrives – which will then more easily drive a temporary wedge, which will then be resolved again.  I suppose you can hammer something workable out of this: Oswald is still smarting from the knowledge that his workers hated him, Oswald is smarting over being bested by Jim – but, then, you have to swallow two equally silly things: first, the notion that Oswald didn’t have a clue he was hated until Penn told him, and that the revelation that seemed to chasten him last week didn’t really take – which in turn undermines Penn’s death. In short, it sort of works if you only glance at it. 

I think it’s easiest to assume that they’re both lashing out, in their own ways, due to recent events.  Oswald – as Oswald does when stinging from recent hurt – grabs even harder at control. Jim blusters and alienates.

Thoughts?

[boyfriem-moved]

the foxhole court bad

(aka the eden’s twilight chapter is gross, the thanksgiving chapter is also gross, andriel is an abusive ship, and nicky and andrew are two terrible people being terrible to each other, a passionate essay by a dude who’s real sick and tired of this garbage)

I was gonna try to reread the whole series so I could factually and definitively prove that tfc sucks once and for all but after 2 chapters I concluded that reading it again was killing my last 3 brain cells, so I stuck with rereading the worst two chapters and gathering a few other moments I thought were noteworthy, and we’re just gonna have to go from there. I’m gonna discuss a bunch of stuff so I’m putting the entire meta under the cut. Also! If you have no idea what tfc is and follow me for other reasons but are intrigued by my hatred I doubt you could get through this whole thing without being bored. I’ve made a couple short posts saying what’s wrong with tfc, most recently this one here, which you could read instead of this long ass mess. 

If you know nothing about tfc and still wanna read, trigger warning for mentions of drug abuse, rape, physical abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, sexual abuse (both of children and adults... well of one adult who was once a child), actually. all abuse. just. don’t read if you’re triggered by any general categories of abuse

You still here? So sorry about that. Now let’s get going! 

I can’t deny that there’s some sort of appeal to tfc. “Sports team for fucked up weirdos” is an interesting concept and one that can draw you in, if it’s done well. But Nora Sakavic thrives on shock value and can’t write to save her life, so it’s not done well. It’s done very, very badly. Now I’m not here to complain about the terrible writing (even though I could, believe me). I’m here to complain about how Nora writes like she gets into tumblr discourse with teenagers and makes anti blocklists. So we’ll just go in chronological order, because I think it makes the most sense that way. 

Eden’s Twilight

Up until the Eden’s Twilight chapter, the bad parts are more or less excusable. Andrew is...being Andrew, but the book has just begun, and as long as he doesn’t get any worse he’s bound to have some character development soon (which ha funny joke but we’re hopeful, the night’s still young). Nicky is likable and seemingly the good guy who’s said maybe a couple iffy things, Aaron isn’t noteworthy (and boy does he stay that way), and we haven’t seen much of Kevin’s “fun alcoholism” yet. 

And then there’s Eden’s Twilight.  The setup to the chapter has a couple interesting moments, most notably Nicky pushing Neil to take out his contacts despite the knowledge that it makes him deeply uncomfortable because everyone just bends to the fucking whim of Andrew apparently (a running theme that I’ll get to later) and a gross bit of setup where Nicky comes onto Neil and Andrew threatens to kill him. 

“...his happy expression faltered when he got a good look at Neil. “Oh man. Neil, you clean up good. Can I say that, or is that against the rules? Just--damn. Aaron, don’t let me get too drunk tonight.�� (tfc pg 129)

(Nicky is an adult with a fiancee who he allegedly loves. Neil is 18. Just in case anyone’s forgotten.)

Then they go and buy some drugs! Nora shows a worrying misunderstanding of how drug withdrawal works (Nora do even one ounce of research for your shitty book please ma’am I’m begging you) and they buy some drugs with vague side effects (I have no idea if the stuff they take is based off real world drugs and I’d rather not find out) in a scene that seems unrealistic but I couldn’t tell you for sure (never bought drugs. not about to ask the people in my life who have.). They buy their drugs, Andrew takes some drugs, Nora continues to know nothing about withdrawal, they go to a nightclub! The night is still young!

And now comes the big problem area. 

Their nightclub adventures begin with a complicit bartender who says, “Back so soon, Andrew? Who’s your newest victim?” (tfc pg 133). On a later page it’s established that the bartender was spiking Neil’s drinks and fully aware of everything the siblings planned to do (as is routine with them? apparently?) so. Fun guy. 

They do some drugs, drink some alcohol. Neil refuses to do both. Andrew and Nicky are adamant about him doing drugs with them, but he refuses, so they concede. 

“Drink with us if you won’t dust with us,” Nicky said, holding his open packet in one hand and his shot in the other. 

And Neil does. Because there’s no reason not to, really. Andrew’s gang accepted it when he said he didn’t drink. They’ve so far not forced him to do anything he doesn’t want to. He watched the bartender pour his drink. He has no reason to suspect he won’t be fine. 

So, of course, his drink is drugged, and Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky hold him down as he tries to run away. The twins force him onto the dance floor, then leave him with Nicky, reigning defender for World’s Most Predatory Man. 

“Bodies and lights blurred around him, making Neil nauseous. He clawed bloody lines down Nicky’s arm as he fought to get free. Nicky didn’t let go until they’d reached the middle of the dance floor. He pulled Neil up against him and caught Neil’s chin in his fingers to force his head back.  Nicky’s kiss was harder than Neil expected it to be, and there was more than just tongue in it. Beneath the burn of vodka Nicky shared with him was the sweet tang of cracker dust. Neil didn’t mean to swallow, but it hurt too much to hold it in his mouth.  “This is how the game goes,” Nicky said against his lips. “Stop fighting if you want to survive.” (tfc pg 136)

Nicky is a good guy of the story. Not only that, he’s a fan favorite character. This isn’t even a chapter people gloss over to glorify their faves, either. People often point to this chapter and the surrounding scenes as one of the series’ most iconic moments. Neil’s night ends with him paying a bartender to knock him unconscious to put an end to the drugged abuse, which can be found near the top of pretty much everyone’s “top ten iconic Neil Josten moments” lists.  This scene is fucking disgusting. He’s forcefully assaulted, allowed and encouraged by Andrew, who’s supposedly the force keeping Nicky in line, and who told him earlier in the chapter not to try anything. Aaron and Kevin are complicit in this, as is the bartender. As are the rest of the team members and Coach Wymack, even if it’s to a far lesser extent, because though they’re horrified that Andrew and his gang brought Neil to the club, they’re not surprised. For people who seemed to know it was coming, they did an awfully lax job of keeping Neil safe though they claim that’s their top priority, and Wymack hardly reprimands Andrew. And no one even shifts blame towards Nicky, despite the fact that he’s the worst person here out of all of them.

People tend to ignore Nicky in general when it comes to how bad of people all these characters are. Which is weird, because Nicky is a horrific predator, and this scene can’t be excused. Though he never assaults Neil again, he continues to be interested in him up until his lackluster apology (which, by the way, does not excuse his actions in this chapter so fuck off if you’re gonna say it does), and it’s pretty clearly implied that he only stops flirting uncomfortably with Neil (who, side note, is still barely not a child) because Andrew forces him to, and not because of any personal growth. 

This should be the end of my explanation of why these books are terrible. Writing a scene like this, in which the assaulters are the good guys of the story and will, throughout the next three books, improve as people by exactly 0%, is reprehensible. There’s no coming back from that. But some of you obviously disagree, so let’s keep going. 

There’s more scenes like this, one in particular, but I’m gonna talk about it later. My point is just that “token gay character is a blatant predator” is not a good look, especially when written by a straight woman.

Thanksgiving

Nora Sakavic would not know how to write a rape victim if one punched her in the face and told her she was a horrible writer. I wish I didn’t have to say more. But I obviously do, so let’s go. 

(as always: necessary disclaimer that I am not a csa survivor and if anyone out there is and disagrees with me I’m more than willing to hear you out, however, i don’t think it takes one to tell that Nora Sakavic is a Fraud And Hack) 

This one wasn’t quite as hard to reread as the Eden’s Twilight chapter, probably because even though the acts are worse, it doesn’t have a bad message overall. The rapist is, thank god, the bad guy in this one. 

It does, however, have problems. Because Nora is still unable to write about serious issues without incorporating scenes purely for the purpose of shock value. 

Like, y’all, it’s really not hard to say “this character was raped as a child and has problems with consent and intimacy because of it”. You don’t need to bring the rapist into the story and have them rape the character again only for the main characters to walk in on it and kill the rapist with a lacrosse racket. 

Oh yeah, spoilers, that’s exactly what happens.  

The chapter starts out fine. If anything, it’s tame for a chapter of a book out of The World’s Most Unnecessarily Over The Top Book Series. 

The basic setup is: Nicky’s parents have invited him and the twins home for Thanksgiving after being estranged for 5 years. Andrew refuses to go. He won’t tell anyone why, but after a talk with him Neil learns that it’s because he was raped by his stepbrother and when he confided in Nicky’s dad about it, Nicky’s dad told him it was a misunderstanding. 

Y’all know what that is? Perfectly fucking adequate writing. We learn this thing about Andrew’s past. He has, for probably the only time in this entire series, adequate motivation to do something. But Ms. Sakavic, known Fraud And Hack, said fuck that. We need more. We need to really know what Andrew went through. “Like in a longer conversation sequence?” Someone sensible asked. Nora shook her head. “Like in the second worst scene I have ever written because I am a Fraud And Hack.” 

So they go to Nicky’s house for Thanksgiving! This also gives Nora a chance to remind us all that she is a straight woman and Nicky is a gay stereotype. Andrew is on edge the entire time, but Neil manages to keep him under control for the most part. Then we learn that Nicky’s dad invited Andrew’s rapist ex-stepbrother to the house. And than they’re upstairs together. Alone. 

So y’know, Neil and Aaron run upstairs, break down the door, there’s a page and a half of description of the scene of Andrew about to get raped before their very eyes, Aaron kills the rapist with a lacrosse stick (exy stick, whatever), and scene. I’m not gonna quote this one, because I don’t wanna make anyone read it, but it runs roughly from page 215-220 of The Raven King if you wanna see for yourself. Highly recommend against it. It’s nasty. 

This is a chapter that goes from 0-100 in pretty much too seconds. Someone should probably tell Nora that forcing Andrew to have dinner with the man who discredited his rape is enough digging up of his traumatic past. We don’t need to go deeper. She can stop now. She should stop now. We know Andrew’s history of csa at this point. If Nora thought that wasn’t enough, there are a million ways she could go more in depth without doing this. This scene doesn’t even go more in depth. In terms of advancements in the story, all that happens is that Aaron, Kevin, and Nicky find out about Andrew’s past (something that could have happened in so many different ways) and Aaron kills a man (which doesn’t actually matter because it takes no toll on him and is never mentioned again because nora is a fraud and hack). I was appalled and horrified the first time I read it, and rightly so, because that’s it’s only purpose. 

And putting a rape scene in a book for the sole purpose of shocking your readers is just a nasty thing to do. 

Bonus Point: Riko Moriyama Is An Evil Monster And That’s Bad Even If He Is The Villain 

Riko’s an evil monster! Yeah! Obviously! We’re glad he died! He sucks! But...he’s a very badly written evil monster, and I don’t feel like unpacking all of him, but I just want to point to a couple scenes towards the end of The Raven King real quick since they fit with the whole “Nora don’t write about rape like this” theme. 

I’m not gonna quote this one either because it’s Real Gross. But basically, Riko convinces Neil to spend winter break with him by telling him that he arranged for Andrew to get raped over Thanksgiving, and that if Neil doesn’t comply with his terms, he’s paid off one of the doctors at the psych ward Andrew is staying in and will get that doctor to rape him again. 

So that didn’t...need to happen. It’s quite frankly disgusting that Nora wrote all this (the language in this scene is very explicit). It’s disgusting that she couldn’t think of any other way to portray her villain as evil. This is bad writing. Riko doesn’t need to be cartoonishly villainous. It’s unnecessary, it’s over the top, and it’s sickening to read. 

Also? That scene at the end of The Raven King where Riko handcuffs Neil to the bed and like...stabs him and it’s never said he rapes him but he definitely rapes him because Nora’s predatory subtext is more obvious than a slap in the face? That didn’t need to happen either. 

Andriel is a terrible ship, Nora you FRAUD AND HACK

So Andrew and Neil get together in the last book, because every series written by a straight woman needs a super unhealthy gay relationship for fangirls to call cute.

(This one is...weird because a lot of the fanbase are gay themselves, but I’ve heard there’s gay people who like the captive prince too so. i guess it just be like that sometimes.)

I don’t have time to comb through the entire book looking through problematic moments, and I wouldn’t want to. I’m just gonna grab a couple noteworthy scenes in what I hope will make an adequate outline of this fucked up relationship. 

The Foxhole Court starts by setting up a running theme of Everyone Disrespecting Neil’s Boundaries All The Time with Wymack, Andrew, and Kevin coming to his high school and refusing to leave until he agrees to sign on with their Not Lacrosse team. His first meeting with Andrew is when Andrew hits him with a lacrosse racket to forcibly stop him from leaving the locker room, a pretty good encapsulation of the sort of person Andrew is. They spent the next three books allegedly falling in love.

Neil establishes boundaries. Andrew breaks them.

“I don’t need to be persuasive,” Andrew said, putting a hand to Neil’s chest as the elevator slowed to a stop. “You’ll just learn to do what I say.” 

This is on page 33 of tfc, during their second meeting. Andrew establishes that he’s controlling and manipulative pretty damn early. 

A list of other “romantic and iconic” Andriel moments include:

Andrew breaks into Neil’s room and goes through his belongings

Andrew drugs Neil and allows Nicky to assault him (after threatening to kill Nicky if he tried anything??) because he doesn’t trust him

Andrew uses threats of sharing personal information to force Neil to tell him secrets

Andrew is repeatedly physically violent (their first meeting, beating him up at Eden’s Twilight)

Andrew tells Neil’s secrets to the team psychiatrist, knowing full well it’s a betrayal of Neil’s trust

Andrew delights in Neil’s fear and goes out of his way for most of tfc to make him fear for his safety

Andrew didn’t look at Wymack. “Neil wants to come with me.”  A day ago, those words might have been an order or a threat, but today Neil heard only truth. He’d chosen the Foxes. He’d chosen to trust Andrew, whatever that meant and whatever consequences it brought down the road. (tfc pg. 152)

After that quote the moments are harder to spot (read: I reread less of trk and none of tkm so I don’t have any bookmarks to turn to), but they are still there. The last moment there is from trk, so the abuse doesn’t stop, I’m just too exhausted to keep looking. 

And let me be clear, that quote is barely consent. Andrew physically and psychologically abuses Neil into the position he’s in when he surrenders and sides with Andrew on page 152.  This scene takes place right after Eden’s Twilight, and above all of what went down there, Neil has just been forced into telling Andrew more personal information than he’s ever told anyone. After a night of abuse he feels trapped, like resistance is futile, so he gives in. Saying he wants to be part of Andrew’s crew doesn’t count as consent when his hand is being forced. 

Even though scenes towards the end of the series show Neil beginning to learn how to control Andrew and the two of them coming to stand on a more level ground, their relationship is one built on abuse and violence, and it’s important not to forget that. It’s unrealistic that Neil would come to trust Andrew, honestly. And having the abusive, more mature character give Neil his first ever relationship and teach him that he’s gay (or bi, or whatever he is) is not a good look. Especially when this book has everything else I’ve already mentioned. Especially when Nora is, once again, a grown ass straight woman. 

Nicky And Andrew Are Two Terrible People Being Terrible To Each Other And Actually I Hate Both Of Them 

So Nicky’s predatory and Andrew is violent and their relationship is as unhealthy as can get. Andrew’s relationships with Nicky and Aaron are both unhealthy, but Aaron’s much less so, so I’m just gonna get into Nicky today because I’ve been writing for almost 3 hours and I kinda wanna die right about now. 

We’ve already established that I don’t like either of them. But let me be clear, it takes a lot for me to admit that Andrew “knives hidden up my sleeves” Minyard is right in any situation. And yet, in pretty much any situation where he threatens Nicky, it’s easy to see him as the good guy, at least up until a certain point. 

Andrew is a bad person. He’s violent and manipulative and has no regard for people’s boundaries. Nicky is arguably worse, painting himself as the peacemaker while being horrifically predatory. 

(A point on Nicky: Nora spends pretty much all of the first book showing Nicky as predatory, then abandons it entirely for the next two books, making it easy to forget the kind of person he is. Just because the predatory behavior stops doesn’t excuse it. Just because Nora thinks one lousy apology makes Nicky a good person suddenly, doesn’t mean it does.)

I’m gonna paste in a pretty massive chunk of text from the foxhole court, but I think it’s all important, so bear with me. 

“Andrew is scary territorial of him. He punched me the first time I said I’d like to get Kevin too wasted to be straight.” Nicky pointed at his face, presumably where Andrew had decked him. “So yeah, I’m going to crush on safer targets until Andrew gets bored of him. That means you, since Matt’s taken and I don’t hate myself enough to try Seth. Congrats.” “Can you take the creepy down a level?” Aaron asked. “What?” Nicky asked. “He said he doesn’t swing, so obviously he needs a push.” ... “Nicky’s scheming to rape Neil,” Aaron said. “There are a couple flaws in his plan he needs to work out first, but he’ll get there sooner or later.” “You’re such an asshole,” Nicky said as he started for the door. “Wow, Nicky,” Andrew said. “You start early.” “Can you really blame me?” ... Andrew caught Nicky’s jersey in one hand and threw him hard up against the wall... “Hey Nicky,” Andrew said in stage-whisper German. “Don’t touch him, you understand?”  “You know I’d never hurt him. If he says yes-”  “I said no.”  Jesus, you’re greedy,” Nicky said. “You already have Kevin, what does it-” He went silent, but it took Neil a moment to realize why. Andrew had a short knife pressed to Nicky’s jersey...Neil knew Andrew meant it. If Nicky so much as breathed wrong right now, Andrew would cut his lungs to ribbons, any and all consequences be damned. 

 So there’s a lot to unpack there. I loose Andrew at the point where he’s ready to murder, but though he’s extreme as fuck, it’s not like he’s unjustified. We learn later from his backstory why he’s so extreme in shutting down any behavior he sees predatory, and rightfully so. (Even though there’s still Eden’s Twilight soon after this... it’s Nora’s incompetent writing isn’t it.) Nicky is a creep. He’s an adult. He has a fiance. And he’s talking about how he’s going to coerce a teenager into having sex with him because he won’t tell him his sexuality. 

He says he wouldn’t do anything without consent, but we know that’s not true. He’s just saying what Andrew wants to hear. 

And as for Andrew, though his violence is excused by backstory and mental problems, it’s a big fucking deal. He nearly killed his cousin, who we know he feels at least some sort of fondness for, because it’s established at this point that the reason he’s so heavily medicated is for attacking men who threatened Nicky. Would he regret it later? It’s impossible to say. He killed Aaron’s mom and assumed Aaron would be grateful. He’s threatened or attacked pretty much every member of the Not Lacrosse team. And I honestly don’t know what Nora is trying to tell us about him. He gets tamer once he’s permanently off his medication, but he was violent before it. I suppose that’s because by then Neil has learned how to calm him down, but is that the message? Abuse a boy into hanging out with you and eventually he’ll be a boyfriend who knows how to deal with you? 

Nicky is a predator and Andrew is a violent abuser and neither of them are the good guys and that’s the only conclusion I can possibly draw from the way they’re written. 

Assorted noteworthy moments that didn’t fit into any larger part: 

the part in trk where Nicky’s parents are homophobic and he tells them he loves his fiance and this is the moment that’s supposed to make us sympathize with him? “The sexual predator has homophobic Christian parents feel sad for him” nice try Nora but he’s not getting shit in the way of sympathy from me, your straight is showing

the part in tfc when Seth says the f-slur is bad because uh. Nora that’s not your word to say

bonus Nicky is predatory bit: Nicky waggled a hand at Aaron. “Quick, have we said anything totally incriminating these past few months?” “Aside from your endless inappropriate comments about what you’d like to do to [Neil], I don’t think so.” (tfc pg 239) 

Kevin is also manipulative! I felt like covering it would be a bit of a rehash of Andrew and this was getting really long but he continually uses exy as leverage to get Neil to do things he feels will put him in danger the same way Andrew uses threats of sharing his secrets. 

bonus bonus Nicky is predatory bit (I’m discovering more and more as I go): Nicky’s stare was appreciative when Neil returned, but for once he kept his mouth shut. (tfc pg 243) Is this supposed to be character growth? Being predatory without explicitly saying anything is barely better Nora!! (Side note, in this same scene Nicky does make a comment about Neil jacking off in the bathroom stall which? Seems kinda bad considering everything else with him?)

I didn’t touch on it very much because no one cares about it and it’s way harder to convince people poor writing about drug abuse is bad than poor writing about sexual assault is bad (even though it shouldn’t be, and i could have tried both but again. long post) but Nora’s attitude to drugs and alcohol is bad. Every character and their mom is addicted to something, with Kevin and Andrew being the most obvious touched on (also Seth but I don’t think anyone cares about him), and Nora’s attitude towards writing it is quite frankly disgusting. She’s offensively misinformed and it pisses me off to no end. But that’s a rant for another day.

Every sex scene between Neil and Andrew is gross. (I think there’s two of them from what I remember? At least two, maybe more.) I googled plenty and I couldn’t find Nora’s age anywhere, but I know for a fact that she’s an adult, and I also know the series took her 13 years to write, so I’m fairly sure she’s at least in her 30s. 

I know I said I wasn’t gonna complain about bad writing but. It’s so bad y’all, and I honestly think it gets worse as the books go along. Every time Neil monologued it took a year off my life. 

So yeah. There’s a lot that’s fucked up about the foxhole court. And the worst part of it is that it never gets better. Andrew makes marginal improvement, but Nicky never does. Nora writes shock value scenes until the series end (I didn’t write about the scene in tkm where Neil gets tortured because it’s the same shock value effect of the thanksgiving chapter in a different sort of way but it’s also bad). I am of the honest belief that this book is far too fucked up to salvage. This is my official tfc bad masterpost, because every time I criticize it someone wants to know more. But I’m also putting it in the fandom tags because it annoys me to no end that y’all support these books, and I’m hoping I can at least change someone’s mind. 

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Spn 13x12

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Great Episode. Many things to love. And also very meta-ish? Like, there were several moments where I looked at my screen and just thought “I see what you did there”. Definitely lot of things worth a second look, discussion and speculation. So, without further rambling, let’s get to it.

There is no I in Team

Especially if there is no team to begin with. I bet these are the moments where Cas admitted to himself that Crowley wasn’t that bad after all. I love that Cas didn’t even consider for a single moment to work together with Lucifer, that he only used him to break out (and only after he learned that Mary was in danger) and stabbed him at the first opportunity he got. Also, apparently Cas’s new superpower is to sit and wait and annoy everyone around him long enough until he gets where he wants to (I mean this worked for me as a teenager as well).

What this episode proved is that Lucifer without his power is a useless character. His one defining characteristic is that he is one of the most powerful and therefore dangerous beings, who just looks down on everyone. Take his power away there is not much left besides a man who hates everyone, and that is just pathetic. And to contrast this, we have Cas, who is a fully flashed character, who is above all things kind, and loyal and devoted. What is so special about Cas is not his powers or the fact that he is an angel, but who he is, as a person. Lucifer is not a person. And to further contrast this Cas tells him about Jack, about the things he likes, about the good in him. He never mentions Jack’s powers, the only thing he has in common with his father. Only time will tell how Jack will react to his father however. Still, all Lucifer talked about was the absence of his powers and the only time Cas talked for a longer time it was about Jack, the person, not the Nephilim.

I have seen a few complains about the Casmodeus-plot or rather people feeling like it had no use, now that Cas is free and will be reunited with the brothers. I have to admit I wasn’t invested in the Casmodeus-plot and had no real desire to see him further interacting with Sam and Dean. We already had this storyline with Casifer. If anything it is about time they set up a safe-word to make sure Cas is really Cas in the future. I think the purpose of Casmodeus was to explain Cas’s absence and at the same time to find a reason why Sam and Dean are not worried about him. It is possible though Yockey simply thought it was a stupid idea to begin with. I mean Lucifer says that shapeshifting wasn’t one of the powers he gave to Asmodeus, which might be Yockey’s way of saying it was entirely Bucklemming’s idea. And really, they could have explained Cas’s absence with him actually looking for Jack. The random demon says they have plans for Cas however, so there might be a reason why he had to be Asmodeus’s prisoner. I also thought that it was odd that Sam and Dean hadn’t filled in Cas at this point. Why wouldn’t they tell Cas that Jack is missing, especially when Cas(modeus) called every day and asked about him?

There were also a few shout-outs to the audience: Cas being called a pretty boy, Lucifer bringing up the nurture vs nature debate and Cas saying that Jack looks nothing like Lucifer (because he looks like Cas).

The queen is dead, long live the queen

Y’ALL, ROWENA IS BACK! I know I said that before, but ever since her storyline is no longer tied to Crowley’s she has become such an interesting, layered, complex character. She has been around for such a long time and every time we see her we learn a bit more about her, but there is still so much left to explore.

Speaking of Crowley though, Rowena of course greets the Winchesters the same way her son did (“Hello boys”), which might mean she is gonna replace his role in the narrative. And to be honest she is the only character that I would allow to do that. Also, we finally see someone mourn Crowley. For all the hate between Rowena and her son, I always doubted they actually wanted to see each other dead, even though they tried to kill each other. Crowley was the only link left to Rowena’s past, to the woman she was before she became a witch, to her humanity. She doesn’t care that he died as a hero, because it means he is still dead, still not with her, because the only way she can love is in a selfish way. (I wonder if she tries to bring him back from the dead?)

The biggest emotional depth about this episode was that it acknowledged Rowena’s abuse at the hands off Lucifer and with that Sam’s shared trauma as well. Which was such a huge thing, and honestly the conversation between Sam and Rowena in the car was the best part of the episode for me. 11x10 was the turning point in Rowena’s story, because it was back then when she revealed to Crowley why she hated him, because her son was a constant reminder of his father using her and that love was nothing more than a weakness. And then moments later Lucifer killed her and I remember how angry I was after the episode because just as Rowena’s was revealed as a victim of abuse she died of the hands of yet another abuser. And not only once, but twice, admitting that Lucifer showed her his true face. Rowena is scared and she is scared all the time, which is paralyzing for someone as powerful and powerhungry as her. She believes the only way to end this fear is to kill Lucifer, once and for all.

Sam of course can relate. He has seen Lucifer’s real face as well, which creates a certain kind of intimacy between these two. And just as Rowena Sam can’t outrun his abuser. After his time in hell Lucifer first returned as Hallucifer in season 7 and later from the cage wearing one of his best friends and invading his home in season 11 (and next week he will learn that Lucifer is back once again). And yet Sam knows that nothing they will do to Lucifer will make the fear and the feeling of being helpless ever disappear. And despite Sam caring around this trauma for eight years, I don’t remember it has ever been addressed so directly. In the end Sam gives Rowena the page to unlock her power nevertheless, hoping she (and maybe he as well) will find some peace with it (also glad they didn’t keep that a secret for too long).  

So what does that mean for the future? For one thing I am sure Lucifer has to die. Either through Rowena or Rowena and Sam together or Lucifer sacrifices himself as part of a redemption arc. Honestly though, after this episode and the painful reminder who Lucifer truly is I doubt he will get a redemption arc (another “no, thank you” from Yockey to Bucklemming?). Also, we learned that all this time Rowena wasn’t even operating on full power. With Rowena having all her magic back she could become the real big bad in the end. Though I would rather have it if after she kills Lucifer she realizes that all that power doesn’t bring her happiness and lets her magic go and becomes human again.  Also, that whole scene where she gets her powers back? Kudos to both Ruth and Amanda Tapping. That was such a huge powerful feminist scene. And were her eyes blue in the end or purple? Her magic has always been purple, so that would make sense, and so far we have only seen blue eyes with angels. Hmmm.

Sibling mirrors

Say what you want about Jamie and Jennie but I really liked their clothes/style. Anyway, they were meant as one big dark mirror for the Winchesters, trying to bring back their dead mother, and willing to kill everyone around them for it (at least flower guy died smiling). This is the same as Sam releasing the Darkness in order to save Dean from the MoC or Dean threating Kaia in order to save Mary. None of these things have been portrayed as positive however and in the end the sisters kill each other, which is enough of a statement for the brother’s codepency.

So, let’s talk about the love spell a bit, because Yockey did manage to sneak in a lot of Destiel stuff. First they mention that a true love’s kiss can wake you up, and obviously fandom has been giddy about the idea of Cas saving Dean from the spell through a kiss. Then we have Dean coming back, telling Sam it is time to call Cas, and the very next thing he says is that he is in love. Ahem. Dean wants Jaime to move in, because this is big time, and well who already has a room in the bunker? Cas of course. Dean calls Jaime his soulmate and talks about cosmic fate, both terms that have been used in a million fan fiction. Dean acting under a love spell is basically how most people imagine Dean to act once Destiel finally becomes canon. And isn’t it great that the only time we see Dean kissing a women this season is through a love spell, resulting in literary false love? Like the only way Dean is even remotely interested in anyway is through a spell. Because he is of course already in love. Also bless Rowena for asking about the fifth base (I had to look this up though, poor sheltered girl that I am).

So let’s talk a moment about Sam. I love that they continue to address his depression, that they have finally fully acknowledged his trauma caused by Lucifer and him opening up to Dean. For as much as the first half the season focussed on Dean’s grief I hope we get the same attention for Sam now. Despite being around for 12,5 years Sam at times still feels like a blank page and in some ways to fault is with the writers who seem to focus more on Dean than Sam. So, I’m all in for more of Sam’s struggle. Here he admits that his way of coping was to come up with a plan: helping Jack and through that being able to save Mary. Now both Jack and Mary are gone, there is no plan B and the MoL library is as useless as usual (seriously the only helpful book in there is the Grimoire and seeing that AU!Kevin used a spell to open the rift I wonder of Rowena could help them saving Mary and Jack). Without his plan Sam has nothing left to distract him, to shield him from the pain he is going through. Sam looked at a horrible situation and tried to make the best out of it, looking at the options he still had. Dean mourned different; he was in no state to even begin to hope or to form a plan. Dean drowned in his pain until Cas come back, until he had his win, and only after he was able to function again. Sam however had ignored said pain until Jack was gone as well, and now it is crushing him. Obviously I want Sam to get better as well, but for now I love that the show explores his emotional journey and I hope we see a bit more of it in the upcoming episodes.

Until next week, when my review will look like this: DANNEEL! DANNEEL! DANNEEL!!!!!

[honeylikewords]

In a perfect world where you were hired to help write and direct the final movie of the new trilogy, how would you want Rise of Skywalker to go? What adjustments would you want made to either address anything from the previous films, or to avoid what has thus far been hinted at in trailers and interviews?

Oh, man, there’s SO much to think about here. Let’s start with, I think, things I’d want to change from previous films (either retconning them in RoS or providing context that makes them fundamentally changed)…

So, to that effect, here’s an itemized list!

Just as a precaution, I make some assumptions or pull from information I’ve seen around the internet. Some of these MIGHT turn out to be close to canon, so if you want to avoid anything, just steer clear of this post. I’m trying not to theorize too hard, and thus avoid spoilers myself, so I don’t know anything with any solid confirmation, so I could be wrong. Just wanted to cover my bases!

Without further ado, here’s the list!

1. I think I’d retcon out the idea that Luke would ever hurt Ben as a padawan. The general characterization of Luke felt very… off in The Last Jedi, and I wasn’t sure why the writers went in the directions they did for that. 

I’m not saying Luke can’t have a darker side– we know he struggled with a call to the Dark side during his training and feared it would overtake him– but the idea that he’d go as far as to even imagine killing a sleeping child, much less the son of his two most beloved people in the universe is… weird. And wrong. 

So I’d retcon that out with it being a false memory planted by, let’s say, Snoke or Palpatine, in order to create a rift between them and bring Ben to the Dark side. I think that would make a great deal of sense, frankly, and bring some much-needed closure and relief to the idea that Luke would ever hurt someone so defenseless.

2. On a similar note, while I understand that the thesis of TLJ was “making mistakes and learning from them”, I felt like most of the “mistakes” engineered into the movie didn’t actually make sense for the characters making them. Poe being “selfish” and “glory obsessed” doesn’t at all match with what we’d seen of him in TFA, nor does it match with any of the extended (and canonical) material about him.

He left the Republic Navy because they were too accepting of the idea of sacrificing their soldiers. In the military, that’s called “acceptable losses”: the amount of cannon-fodder that the military’s willing to wave off and accept as the “expected amount” of dead soldiers. If that idea enraged Poe enough to leave the Republic Navy, why would he be so accepting of the same idea for the Resistance? As far as I’m aware, the only life Poe is ever willing to sacrifice is his own; he wants everyone else safe. So why write him like he doesn’t care?

Here’s a direct quote about him from his official Star Wars Wookiepedia entry: 

“… Dameron developed a strong sense of commitment and duty, but had trouble with the line between his commitment to the Resistance and the commitment to his comrades, willing to disobey a direct order from his superior, General Organa, to make sure that the Millennium Falcon safely left Starkiller Base before its imminent destruction.”

Oh, yeah, that definitely sounds like the kind of guy to blindly let HUNDREDS of his comrades die. Yeah. For sure.

And then to act like he’s a bad person for not trusting a leader who isn’t making themselves clear in a time when clarity is of the utmost importance? To act like he’s a narcissist for trying to take the lead and help as best he can in a chaotic and, for all intents and purposes, leaderless situation? To frame him like he’s a bad guy for not trusting Holdo immediately, or acting like his distrust comes from a place of sexism or self-interest? Absolute rubbish.

So while I can’t retcon the whole “insubordinate bad listener self-obsessed narcissist” behavior that got written into TLJ, I’d try my best to re-contextualize Poe’s frustrations that he expressed in the film by showing why it would make sense for him to take the lead, to demand answers, to do his best to destroy the Dreadnought. 

For example, showing why it was important to take down the Dreadnought: he’s constantly concerned about civilian casualties at the hands of the First Order. With a Dreadnought still active, millions of people could be killed at the First Order’s whims; by taking the ship down, he saved millions of lives.

Another good way to dispell the idea of him as a self-centered hotshot willing to throw away lives is to show just how much he values the lives of others and wants to keep them away from harm; show his own self-sacrifice. Show him being willing to take the damage to protect someone else. Show him telling someone to get behind him, to stay safe, telling them “I’m not going to lose you, too”. I think that would be a helpful step away from the perception of him as a glory chaser; show that his self-sacrifice is genuine.

Honestly, I’d put so much effort into fixing the fallout from the Poe mischaracterization that I could go on forever about it, but I’m sure you all want to read other stuff, too, so let’s move on for now.

3. Absolutely retcon the shit out of the idea that the Force connection between Rey and Kylo was anything more than platonic or an intervention of Snoke. Sure, you can indicate that there’s still a lingering connection, but clarify that it’s more about the battle between the Light and the Dark, and the inherent connection that such mirror images will have to each other, but don’t get it twisted as some kind of galaxy-spanning love story. 

I’d put a lot of emphasis on Rey clearly expressing frustration with Kylo and saying “He’s failed himself. His pain is his own choice now; I tried to help him, but he rejected it, so it’s up to him to stop himself or we’ll do it for him” or something to that effect. And having her definitely avowedly denying any kind of “attraction” out loud. That’d be nice.

4. In a parallel train of thought, we gotta talk about Rey’s parents. While I’m certainly fine with the idea of Rey Nobody, because it’d be so great to have a Star Wars story where someone NOT from the Skywalker bloodline is just as strong as one of them, and is just as worthy and important, regardless of their bloodline or heritage, I’m also concerned that leaving her a Nobody would give credence to all that bullshit Kylo was spewing about her “not mattering” to anyone but him, ugh.

And it’d leave a door open for R*ylos to be like “WELL THEY’RE NOT RELATED SO OBVIOUSLY THEY CAN HAVE SEX!”, ew. 

So we’d have to give her some kind of actual backstory, and finally clear up what that is. It’s not something I actually want to do all that bad– I’m genuinely totally happy to not know everything about Rey’s parents, and the story would be fine without ever knowing anything about them– but I feel like so many people would demand it, and ensuring that Rey and Kylo are somehow related would finally put a cork in that insufferable bottle.

I don’t really have any great suggestions for how to deal with it, but I think there’s definitely the potential for a cool twist where Ben isn’t actually Leia and Han’s biological son, but Rey is their biological daughter. A sort of switched at birth idea, if that makes sense, and while it might be hard to believe (wouldn’t a mother know if she gave birth to a boy or girl?), there are lots of ways to work around it, and I think it could be a cool twist, though it does leave the loophole of them still not being related…

Hm. Well, at any rate, I’d have to iron it out with some other brainstormers, but I’m sure there are ways to fully cap off and prevent R*ylo from ever happening. Don’t worry, I’ll name some later in the list.

5. I’d also do my best to take away any lingering ideas about Finn being “goofy” or “cowardly”. TLJ decided to present him as this selfish weirdo more interested in wealth and himself than in the greater good, which was… odd. While he’s certainly careful about self-preservation, he also has a good heart, so I’d do a lot to emphasize his strong, heroic nature, and not just use him as a guy for all the gags to bounce off of. He deserves serious, thoughtful moments, heroic moments, AND silly, light-hearted moments. 

6. While on the topic of Finn, I’d also put FinnRose to rest and just… not have that be a ship. I’ve talked about it before, but I’ll summarize my basic issues with it: they just didn’t have any chemistry, it was a very forced and hasty relationship, and it didn’t make sense for either party.

Rose has a problem with hero worship; that much is evident. So why indulge her in it by pairing her with someone she childishly idolizes? Why not have her character arc be about finding her own personal bravery, not being reliant on others or their stories, but forging her own?

As for Finn, I’d love to see him end up staying close to Rey, possibly even beginning to walk the road towards their own relationship (though I do also value the idea of Rey not needing to have any romantic relationship in the saga at all), at the very least as friends. 

The whole “what we love” line in TLJ made no sense (except as a shoehorn to explain the validity of R*ylo in future films?), so I’d just have her explain in RoS that she was talking about “what we love” being belief systems that we fight to protect, like defending human decency, freedom, and peace, and that the kiss was a weird, juvenile decision that she’s embarrassed about in the same way one might be embarrassed about a childhood diary entry about a crush. It was just a fleeting moment of weirdness, but now that she’s more grown up and sturdy in her own personality and life, she doesn’t have to rely on the childish ideas of heroes and romance to keep her going.

I think that’s a long enough list of the retcons for now, so I’ll move into things I’d like to see happen in the movie and things I’d rather NOT see in the movie (i.e. things from the trailers that are being hinted at that I want GONE).

1. I’m just gonna get out in front of this: I don’t think I’m gonna like Zorri Bliss. I don’t. I’m really tired of “badass female characters” in that “badass female character” is such a boring stock trope by now. Skinny white woman who engages in violence and is flippant and emotionally removed, oh, joy, I’ll hold for applause. But what I’m really concerned about is the angle they’re trying to push with her and Poe; specifically, that Poe may not be “that good of a person” because he used to hang out with her, and she’s implied to be a smuggler or mercenary of some sorts.

Look, I get it. We don’t like “perfect” characters. I know that I love characters with oddities and quirks and flaws, and who make mistakes. But there’s a difference between that and fundamentally re-working a character so that they’re “not so nice” anymore. 

Poe already has flaws to work with and explore. Why make him have a “dark” backstory when he’s already interesting enough? And why make it connected to a “past relationship” with this random new woman?

I’m also concerned about them pushing a romance, which we simply don’t need, especially because it looks like it’s being done to finally quash any perceptions of Poe as queer. Which is just so shitty on so many levels, but I don’t have time to unpack them all.

So what I would do is probably just… cut Zorri altogether. We’re already introducing new characters in this film, and specifically adding Jannah to the roster, and tossing in new characters to an already crowded roster won’t really help. None of them will get enough screen time to properly reach catharsis in their arcs, so we just have to nip the least helpful bud, and Zorri’s seems like it’d be the first one to go, in my opinion. 

Maybe she’ll turn out to be great in the film. Who knows. But if it was up to me, I’d drop the whole subplot of her, and making Poe’s backstory a sullied one. I don’t need that.

Instead, I’d use that time to allow the main trio to DO THEIR THING. We need to see THEIR character journeys: not random newcomers.

2. No Bendemption.

This is gonna be a slightly controversial take, I guess, but I think a redemption for Kylo would be kinda hackneyed and forced.

That’s not to say I don’t think villain redemptions are possible, fun, interesting, or worth exploring. But I’m saying that I think this particular one just… wouldn’t work. 

Kylo doesn’t seem to be at all legitimately sorry for the things he’s done. He seems to be aware of his choices and capable of making them independently. Sure, the writers might force the idea that “oh, it was PALPATINE controlling him all along!”, but I feel like that would be so counterintuitive to the point of these stories.

The whole point is about choice: who we choose to be, what we choose to do. We can all choose to be kind, or we can choose to be cruel. We can choose to put others first or serve ourselves. We choose the Light or the Dark, and we get to decide what we do with that. Everything we do is a choice, and the Star Wars saga is about becoming out better selves and choosing to help those around us because it’s right.

So making the baddie secretly mind controlled would be… dumb. And hollow. And devoid of substance. So that’s out, not an option (if they want to tell a valid story).

So that just leaves us with Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, whatever, has been CHOOSING to be this way. And while he’s certainly felt pained by it, he also keeps making his choices; he’s now Supreme Leader, and he could choose to destroy the whole thing, leave, fight for good, but he doesn’t. 

So he can’t BE redeemed. Because he doesn’t want to be.

I mean, I’d honestly have to write a whole essay on just this singular topic to accurately convey my point, but here’s a shortened version of it:

I think a Bendemption wouldn’t be prudent at this point because he just doesn’t have the time to make a satisfying arc in one movie without it feeling forced, rushed, and out of character. So, to tie off the saga, he has to go out like Vader did: he has to die to be redeemed.

He can either die a villain or die a hero, but regardless, I think he just… needs to die in order to properly close the book on him. It needs to end with sacrifice, and either he sacrifices himself or someone else makes a sacrifice of him. Only then do we reach the catharsis.

And, look, I know the Bendemption is gonna happen. But if I was writing it, I wouldn’t let it happen: he’d have to have his Vader death. At the very best, it could be a noble one. At the worst, he’d die as he deserved to. But it would finally be over.

3. No grey Jedi Rey.

I don’t really love this whole cultural direction we’re taking with our movies where “the bad guys are secretly good and the good guys are secretly bad and the real truth is just to be in the middle!” because it’s so unhelpful.

Yes, extremism is bad and blindly believing any one group is the best and most moral, without ever questioning that, often prevents people from critically analyzing their choices, but it’s not that there isn’t an objective truth in the world; there is. There are objectively good and evil things to do. So we can’t pretend that relativity is universally applicable, because it isn’t.

So having Rey “accept the Dark and the Light” would be… difficult without seeming clownishly college-philosophy-student-y. 

While it would be important for her to accept that the Dark can exist in all of us, and that it’s not inherently evil to be tempted or to acknowledge it, the difference is in choice. She shouldn’t be allowed to have the best of both worlds because that isn’t how it works in real life, either. 

Indulging in our worst impulses, darkest desires, or lowest cruelties doesn’t make us more “real”, it makes us worse people. So having her “use the Dark side” would also just feel like this weird attempt to allow her to love Kylo or accept evil as “alright because we’re all bad inside”.

This isn’t to say she has to live in a world of harsh absolutes, but rather that she should, ultimately, choose the Light, kindness, and a journey towards making sure that she is keeping herself in check, as well as making sure that she is doing her best work for herself and others. 

So I’d write a clear moral line in: anyone can change, yes, but the important part is to change for the better, not just to accept the worst and stagnate in one’s most awful, darkest qualities. 

The idea would be lenience by extending kindness, which anyone can choose to accept, not just “you’ve been evil but I love you anyway”. Nah. We can’t just tolerate people’s evil behavior and let it continue: we have to extend the possibility of mercy and tell the person they can come to the Light if they so choose, but we won’t descend to them. They rise, or they fall, and it’s in their own hands.

4. On a less philosophical note, DON’T make Finn, Jannah, and Lando all related. 

A lot of the content I’ve seen circling for them seems to imply a familial relationship, possibly that Finn is Jannah’s lost brother, and that Jannah is Lando’s daughter. And, yes, while I’d love to see Finn reunited with his family and given a chance at a happy life… it’d be kinda cringey and bad to imply that the few black characters in Star Wars are all related.

I get that Star Wars is a dynastic story centered on families and genealogies and inheritances. But holy shit, it’s kinda racist to imply that the, like, only three black people in the series are going to be related.

It’s a galaxy full of people.

Not all of them have to be related just because they have similar melanin.

5. As for the overall plot, I think what I’d just want is the final triumph of good over evil. I really need to see that. I don’t need an ambiguous ending, I don’t need a dark one, I need one where the Light wins out, because that’s what we need to see, what we need to believe, and what we need to strive for.

The First Order NEEDS to fall. Kylo NEEDS to be out of power. And there NEEDS to be an emphasis on the value of lives, on the importance of taking care of the people in our universe, and on the belief that good does prevail, even when it doesn’t necessarily seem like it will. 

I’m not too bogged down with details– planet-hopping is fine, traveling to new worlds and seeing new people is all cool– but more concerned about the overall message. The MESSAGE is what I’m most interested in. And we all know what my message would be.

6. Oh, and just focus on keeping the trio together. Structurally, I’d just need to see them working as a team; we’ve had way too much time of them apart, so it’d be nice to see how they interact and function as a group. I’d like that.

Anyway, this is just a short-list of things. If I were to actually talk about this, I’d need, like, a whole essay just to unpack my thoughts. Oh, and I’d probably prepare a full alternate script. Just because.

I have plenty of other ideas for things I’d love to see happen, but this is just a list of things I don’t want or things I’d do to prevent things I don’t want. LMAO.

I’ll come back to this idea, this list-ish format of thoughts, after the film is out and after I’ve seen it, in order to talk more about things I’d have done differently or changed (provided there’s anything I would have done differently or changed), but for now, this is just a handful of my ideas about things I’m concerned with. 

Let me know what you guys are thinking; I’d love to be able to discuss this and kinda get a feel for what other people are thinking about, concerned about, worried about, or excited about. 

[evsloimaa]

Five months of European Voluntary Service – an honest reflexion.

Hey everybody. Today, something serious and something very personal. I’ve been writing this text for the last two weeks, added some things, deleted a lot of things and ended up writing them again, just to repeat all of that. I’ve been here in Finland for five months now and a little more than the half of my EVS is over – so I thought it’s about time to share a little more than the usual “what happened this week” stuff. What follows now is an honest and personal reflexion about the first half of my life as an European Volunteer and how that influenced me and my point of view on a lot of different things.

My adventure of EVS started on the first of September 2017. I planned to participate in the European Voluntary Service for quiet a while back then – two years. At BiondekBuehne we usually have at least one person doing an EVS every year – and almost three years ago we had a guy from Finland over. We became close friends and he was the origin of my idea to go abroad. Since then, the will to realize my idea grew stronger and stronger. I wanted more of life. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great life, an incredible family and the nicest of all friends. But I wanted more. I wanted to develop beyond the Alex Ertl I knew for 18 years. I wanted to change. Not because I didn’t like myself. More because I wanted to know more of the person that I already liked. I fought through the two last years of school (Austrian school system sucks by the way but that’s something to discuss in another post), managed to pass my final exam and then there was nothing else in my way to go to Finland. I didn’t had any doubts about what I was doing when my last week in Austria arrived. I was ready, I was so eager to finally go to this unknown country and I was curious about everything what would happen there. Saying goodbye to everyone was a price that I was willed to pay, surprisingly it didn’t even bother me that much. I had the fear to miss something in Austria during my EVS, but the need to see new things excelled that fear.

At 14:40, my flight landed in Finland. I didn’t really know what to feel at this moment, I was just extremely excited and nervous. But in a positive way. I worked for this experience. I had so many people giving me advise for everything around EVS. I felt extremely prepared. And the first couple weeks felt like a dream. I had every possibility here, the people were incredibly nice, taking care about Romain and me, showing us what kind of jobs we can do here. Couple weeks later we had the On Arrival Training, a four day long seminar, where all EVS in whole Finland come together to get to know each other and to learn more about their purpose and their possibilities. I met a lot of new people, I became friends with some. It was an experience that someone can’t progress in one day, not even in a few days. Six weeks before I was sitting in my room in Baden, writing a short story. Suddenly I was sitting in North Finland, on the roof of a watchtower, staring at the open sea, together with people from all over Europe. That was the first time when I actually realised, that all of this really happens.

Things changed after the on arrival training and as Christmas came closer, I realized something. I couldn’t write anymore. My creativity was dead. I thought it’s just a small writers block, but it was much more. Everything I wrote seemed terrible and irrational to me. I had a huge project, a play that I was supposed to present (party) around Christmas when I went back to Austria for holidays. Additionaly, I was haunted by homesickness. I’m going to be fully honest here – I became really depressed at that point. Our bosses tried everything they could to cheer me up but all of that had nothing to do with my work here. I thought about quitting. I felt emotionally deaf, I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I couldn’t grab a positive thought, I couldn’t find things I believed in previously. I changed.

When I was in Austria over Christmas, things became better. Mostly due to the company of my friends, the contact with my mother language, the amount of sunlight (seriously, the darkness completely killed me in December) and the known environment. A person that means a lot to me asked me, if I would prefer to stay here and not return to Finland. I couldn’t even think a second of what she said before my mind instantly screamed: No. I don’t want to stay. I want to go back to my second life in Finland. Up to today, I’m not sure what that was. I had so many reasons to quit. But my inner me said no. You’ll do this. And I did.

When I returned to Finland, I enjoyed everything a lot more. My work, the people here, everything. My writer block is still there and it still worries me. But I decided not to listen to it too much.

What I want to say with that shitload of text – EVS isn’t easy. Not at all. EVS has highs and lows. And the lows can be quite heavy. It doesn’t matter how nice you bosses are, how awesome your jobs are or how many fun you have (in our case a solid ten out of ten) – the lows will come. I came here to change, and I changed, in a very different way than I expected. EVS is the first time in my life to be completely alone, no friends, no family, no familiar environment or language. The people I met here were strangers to me. And exactly these circumstances force you to deal with yourself. To experience the real you. And that’s not easy either. You may find sites of you that you never had expected to find. You maybe lose yourself in these thoughts. And you maybe experience a lot of unpleased feelings and thoughts. These are the things you don’t think about when you sign the voluntary agreement – simply because you can’t imagine all that happening to you before you experience it. But still, even though I spent days in bed feeling like death himself – I wouldn’t ever give these experiences away, for nothing in the world. Challenges make you grow, in way, that can’t be written in words.

If you are a volunteer striving this blog for advice for you future EVS, or if you are the EVS after Romain and me – don’t let these downs drag you of the course. Every down passes. There are so many reasons to do an EVS, the incredible experience, the people you meet, the places you see and the new you you’ll find. Don’t let people take influence about you decisions during your EVS. It’s you experience (used this word a couple thousand times in this text now, sorry about that) and every EVS is different. EVS is one of the few things in life that you only do for yourself. Be proud of what and of who you are.

- Alex, European Volunteer.