#will work harder for the next chapters
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remember how i was talking about kimchay camboy au? so i did a thing and it's one chapter in, uhhh, yeah well! y'all can check it out if you'd like..!!
#kimchay#kimchay au#mae's kimchay camboy au#i tried#it's my first kimchay fic so i'm sorry if the characterisation is inaccurate#but i tried!#will work harder for the next chapters#when i'm not neck deep in work shit lmao
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Chapter 2 is out!
#battle for dream island#battle for bfdi#the power of two#tpot#bfdi#bfb#pie bfb#rocky bfdi#bfdi high fantasy au#i keeo forgetting what i named the tag for the au#aughhh#potatart#ao3#THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE... I SWEAR 2 YOU I WAS WORKING ON IT EVERY DAY SINCE I POSTED THE LAST ONE#I DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE PIE SO MISERABLE IN THIS CHAPTER I PROMISE ILL BE SO SO NICE TO HER IN CHAPTER 3#i apologize if this is harder to get through than chapter one!!!! nonetheless i tried my best & thats all we can ever ask for#im excited for whats to come though aaahhehehehehe#i must reiterate i promise good things happen to her (pie) this was just necessary setup#i have a few funny doodles to share as well#also im a big fan of the bugs in bfdi i think theyre foul little creatures. /pos#i did something reallt self indulgent. and you will see what it is in the next chapter#(more self indulgent than this au usually is lol)#tptbu
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we’re really in it now chizuchan…
#5 days and a few hours to go till ch6…#aaaaaaaaaaaaa im not ready for it#though. i gotta say that this week wasnt great (understatement)#for more reasons than one too… sigh.#so anyways ive started to read webnovels at work when no one’s around and my results are all reported#the stories are way too good (despite the pay 2 read thing on the app and the occasional tl mishaps)#i finished reading this completed novel early on in the week and it was. sublime. the characters are all so stupid and yet#they all bounce off each other so nicely. and they have reasons for their acts (no matter how horrible) that just.#gives them an extra layer of depth. and the way the story leans into the absurdity of some situations#while also swerving away from expectations at other times is just. brilliant.#but aaaaaaa i wish we had more time to see the ‘og protag’’s pov… he was so funny and for what#it would’ve been nice if the side stories had done things a little differently but it was a fun ride…#though i like how it’s one of those novels where reading the manhwa adaptation alongside#can make some certain events seem more unexpected than they actually are. and the art’s impeccable to boot… man…#and. just. the story’s good at making certain revelations cause certain scenes to hit harder in hindsight…#and how they don’t try to redeem the unredeemable. it’s refreshingly straightforward.#buuuuuuuuut i digress. anyways. um. see y’all next friday for chizuchan chapter 6. or thursday if there’s a random announcement or sth
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aw, balls. I put off my take home final until this week because I've been out of sorts, and I was going to take today to relax and gather myself, but I forgot the deadline and the deadline is today.
#Considering asking the prof for an extension which would be kinda dumb but I think the recent death is hitting me harder than I thought.#Not really an excuse. Also I did worse on the makeup exam than I thought I would which is very annoying. I need to do a bunch of#practice stoichiometry if I want to get better at this. c'est la vie. the chapter of Thing I've been working on will have to wait.#You know I just looked over at my shelf and I have this text: Greek Gold. I have to read up on early MesoAmerican gold mining#particularly in Venezuela and Peru. I have this Ecuadorian thesis on mining around Quito that's on the list next. But after that when I wan#to tackle Greecian silver I do have that book on my shelf already which is pretty fucking handy.#My professor confirmed they did amalgamation in the later part of the Iron Age which... part of me wonders if that adds to the complexity#around the Bronze Age Collapse? That'd be extremely interesting.#I'm glad I can ramble to tumblr about this and you guys don't mind the bits and pieces because I can't rant to anyone in person. <3#It's really comforting to be able to infodump here.#Aside: Apparently 'stoichiometry' was not in my web dictionary and spellcheck wanted to turn it to stylometric (???)#ptxt
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how do you have the time to write all this stuff /and/ play video games etc etc at the same time? Is it just that you write insanely fast after all these years? I have a lot of hobbies, writing being one of them, and i have such a hard time juggling them lol.
Hi anon,
So, real talk -> The reality is I don't have the time to write and play video games at the same time most of the time.
I haven't written anything since the 17th. I haven't started the next Palmarosa chapter. I'm on day 8 of not having opened a new document and writing anything.
I've edited a whole two chapters (which I suspect I have to go over again) and I've responded to some comments and asks, and that's it. No writing, no growing wordcount, I've been stagnating / not doing anything due to burnout since the 17th (I know the date because I have a giant whiteboard of completed chapters next to me).
Honestly, most of the time I don't actually have the time to read, play video games, watch television, or movies. I am too busy writing/editing/sleeping. With Toby in the mix, the small amount of media I was consuming has vanished.
Sometimes I can play certain video games while writing - these are usually low stakes video games I can endlessly put on pause and then play for five minutes at a time, like Dorfromantik and Garden Galaxy. Any kind of idler video game, like Havendock is also good for this.
Anon, you can't have a lot of hobbies and actually keep up with them and write the way I do, and therapist/s wouldn't recommend you drop all of your hobbies to write the way I do anyway. Trust me.
I had two things I wanted to start learning this year, and I haven't started learning them yet. I don't have the capacity. I had a therapist gently point out to me that if I was always at 100 in terms of output, how can I have any energy leftover for self-work and processing? The answer is: I don't. (That's actually why I've spent a week playing video games, and if anything it's just reminded me that my capacity is still at 100 and this is going to take a bit of concerted decompression).
Most of the time it's not normally quite this overwhelming. Toby has just maxed me out because he's a high energy dog who is also a puppy with Separation Anxiety, and there's no quick or easy fix for that. But most of the time it's still very intense. The list of shows I really want to watch, and books I really want to read, is very long. But I often don't have time to indulge in those things because I'm too busy writing.
A lot of the time I don't actually have the time to reread my own fics anymore, outside of editing.
This year was meant to kind of tackle that more decisively but you know then we got a puppy so... not so much.
But yeah anon, there is no 'how do you do this and do this' - you don't do one of those things, or you do it very haphazardly, in small amounts.
I do write very fast (my wordcount is 120-150wpm), but I don't edit fast (I'd tender that editing fast for most people is a bit of an oxymoron), I don't answer asks fast (some of the longer ones take me an hour to compose), etc. And even then, writing fast is not the same as the time it takes to think out the chapter, to figure out what's happening, letting it percolate etc. A lot of my life is also just resting. I lose about 2-5 hours of every afternoon to sleep or rest for example, where nothing productive happens. And I think one of the reasons I read so many manwha atm is that they're so easy to read comparatively, and so quick, and that's the only way I can really consume stories these days.
#asks and answers#what folks think they're seeing on the surface is often not is what is actually happening#those who track my wordcount on discord (where i update it)#will notice it's not been updated since the 17th#will i write anymore chapters between here and the end of the month?#i don't know#and if i don't#i will have to work even harder next month dsalkfjasfas#anyway yeah no most of your hard working creatives around you#cannot actually find the life-work balance that allows them to enjoy their lives and leisure time and their hobbies#even if they're writing about characters who are learning how to do those things#part of it is capitalism - it's hard to take a break when your antidepressants went up in price#(which is a broader ironic analogy to life in general)
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FINAL MIDBLOCK ESSAY DONE!! I AM FREE!!
#FINALLY. have not been able to relax for like a month that’s the thing about the due dates being so far apart it’s great because you’ve got#more time but it also means everything just. lasts longer. anyway! done now. this one perhaps not my best work but it was harder than i#expected…my us government one will be rough but what else do you expect from 1500 words..and then my theory essay..my best hope for a good#grade perhaps…but we’ll see. the next lot aren’t due until january but im gonna start thinking about them now so im less busy over christmas#insane that that’s not too terrible a thought. uni is crazy when you actually enjoy your degree. anyway! for now i am going to enjoy the#rest of my weekend at home n me and my mum are going out tomorrow n im gonna buy some books with the voucher i haven’t spent since my#birthday in february and ill finally have time to finish the book im reading rn AND to do some writing..start chapter 2 : ^ )#woohoo!! aware no one gaf about any of this but i am first and foremost always the audience for my own posts so. this one’s for me..#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again
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You ever reread a fic and want to yell about it but also it was your own fic so you don’t wanna like, be obnoxious bgdshgdghgfkl
#rambles from the floor#reread all of castletown wedding so I can actually work on the next chapter#and man#I went harder than I remembered on some of those scenes#for a fic that started as a joke post#it’s awfully dramatic 😂
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Not me rewatching the Paulie vs Lucretia scene over and over trying to figure out how Douffe is tied up when her arm is in a sling.
#This episode is so much harder to write up than the others#in part because of small things like this#but also because there are moments that look fucking incredible on screen but are an absolute nightmare in fic form#I promise I am working on the next chapter it just might take me a little longer#Headless: A Sleepy Hollow Story#Headless Shipwrecked#Shipwrecked Comedy#Own Post
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Well then
Not me finally finishing a chapter draft and expecting to take a few days to relax before a good week or two of editing, only to immediately get the fervent inspiration to write out the basic plot details and some dialogue for quite a few chapters (14 so far) of the Geumsaegi AU, since I already had a word document open. Which might be good in the long run, since I had been puzzling over how to make espionage plots that would work in-universe, and also fit a reasonable narrative, where each chapter would lead into each other and support the plot.
It was like this back in university, too. Finish the bullet point rough draft of a project due in two months, and then decide to start working on it right away since I had time instead of taking it easy.
Side note, apparently Korean Hangul characters may have many different romanizations (like Kim, Gim, and Ghim, or Park, Bak, and Pak being one of the more famous ones)? Which makes coming up with the much later in the future Korean OC names all the more difficult, because a single name can have multiple different Korean spellings. And that is assuming a word used as a description is not conjugated differently from the same word being used as a proper given name. Correct me if I am very wrong on this. Things to study later I guess.
I feel this on some level.
#coming up with espionage themed plotlines that would fit in universe is so much harder than you think#and I have work in real life to attend to#it's the busy season#I should go to bed#hey how did you get that scholarship?#Oh you know obsessing over getting things done far ahead of schedule so I can relax#I don't even have time limits anymore????#there is getting ahead of oneself and then there is whatever this is#never mind splitting the next chapter of the current AU in two to avoid an odd number of chapters#this one needs to get split as well there are so many words#sah#squirrel and hedgehog#dr dudeoji#I feel that
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NO BCUZ I REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS THE CHAPTER WHERE SHE GOT THE MICHAEL AFTON EXOTIC BUTTERS TREATMENT 😭😭😭😭 BUT IT WASNT! YIPPEEEEE ANYWAYS GREAT CHAPTER I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH AND PATTING YOUR BACK I LOVVVEEEEE ANGST AND VANESSA GOING THROUGH HER FLASHBACKS IN THE SPRINGLOCK SUIT… VANESSA SWEETHEART I LOVE YOU TO DEATH BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!! I LOVE HER ANGER AT HER DAD, AND THEN HER SADNESS, AND THE LINE “THE WHITE RABBIT IS A LIAR TOO…” NAT YOU ABSOLUTE POET. SHAKESPEARE JUST LOST HIS JOB HIS ASS IS HOMELESS!!! (he’s dead) YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD RIGHTER SO EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK <3333
I'm so glad Chapter 7 is getting the reception I hoped it would get!!! It wasn't in my original outline but I got closer and closer to Night 4 and I was like huh. Okay, um. I can't write a whole chapter of Vanessa cranking springlocks for 6 hours. So everyone had to listen to be yap about Vanessa's tragic backstory for 8k words *smiles serenely* Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I killed Shakepeare on his own stage and drank his poison willingly.
(Also thank you, i do consider myself a righter. of Scott Cawthon's wrongs. Teehee.)
#*eyes nervously at the next chapter which is night 5* may the odds be ever in your favor#middle aged white men work hard#hyperfixed lesbian teenagers work harder#TY AGAIN FOR SENDING ME ASKS ABOUT MY FIC#I LOVE LOVE LOVE TALKING ABOUT MYSELF AND MY OWN STUFF#ehehehehe#🐇🤡#ask!!!#jasminetea1234#jasmine!!!
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Late night activities (re-reading all the comments on 'Pretenders' just to psych myself up to posting ONE update)
#I think it's working actually y'all are too sweet :') can you believe there was a time I'd just casually post new chapters every week#what happened to me#idk if it's just because that particular fic has death as such a prominent theme and it's become harder to immerse myself in that#because I haven't been able to update the goofy kirad@x holosuite adventure either#but!!! I can and will change this#I believe in me#it just hasn't been a very good month overall... too much illness too much death too much political strife too many goodbyes#(that's just what I get for trying to set up january as some sort of life altering reboot in my head lol)#((never pick january january is for crying and existential dread and 37483 discarded projects only!! note to self :D))#anyway.#my fics#(just to hold myself accountable) 'Pretenders' updates coming early next month!! 'Who We Are' is next!!! <3
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Start planning 2025
Make a list of all the emotions you want to feel at the end of 2025.
Now work backwards and write down all the tasks you need to do in order to feel that way.
Make a separate list of all the “gaps” - what do you currently not have in order to do those tasks to make you feel the way you want?
And lastly, write down how you can fill those gaps. Do you need a gym membership to become fit to feel good about your yourself? Do you need to learn how to cook better meals in order to feel healthy and energised? Do you need to start applying to jobs, in order to secure one, in order to feel financially safe? Do you need to buy an old school alarm clock that’s going to wake up your entire apartment building in order to wake up early? what do you need to DO?
also, make a list of all the things that worked out for you in 2024. Learn to celebrate and appreciate, even the smallest of wins.
For the next two months start the trial and error process of this program. Let’s say you decide that you want to work out 7 days a week in order to feel good about your body. Now halfway through November you realise that 7 days is probably too much, and 5 days would be better for your schedule. Or you decide to read 3 books a week, but realistically, maybe a chapter a day is better.
November and December are your trial months. By the time January starts, be ready with a program that is built for you, works for you, and can be completed by you.
Don’t forget about keeping a reward mechanism. If you complete your daily tasks for 1 month straight, buy that little purse you were eyeing, or take yourself to a spa. Reward yourself in ways you like so that :
a) you’re not in an endless cycle of never being satisfied
b) you don’t drop everything for a man or a friend who shows you the slightest bit of affection because you won’t show it to yourself
c) it encourages you to work harder for yourself.
#c suite#ceo aesthetic#powerful woman#strong women#personal growth#balance#getting your life together#productivity#that girl
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from me to you — gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: this takes place in chapter 268, soo sort of spoilers ahead? also long live gojo satoru; gojo leaves you a letter ��
“y/n-sensei, there is a letter for you as well!”
that catches your attention, and you look up at the first years. you tilt your head slightly, and yuuji hands you an envelope.
you gently take it from him, and the first thing you notice is “wifey” written on it then the doodle of satoru with his blindfold on. you feel your throat tighten, and your hands shake slightly.
you let out a small breath then shakily open the letter.
hey, honey!!
it first reads.
I feel like there is still much I didn’t tell you in our last meeting, so here I, your beautiful and handsome husband, am writing them down.
you swallow lightly, and a small smile appears on your face as you imagine satoru saying that, then you continue to the next line.
first, I changed all your computer passwords to variations of “satoruisthebest” at one point. your confusion was so cute!!
you quirk an eyebrow at the admission, but when you rack your brain, you remember that one day when you couldn’t log into your computer.
what you vividly remember was satoru being sat beside you the whole time, and now that you think about it. he was smiling so widely the entire time, letting out small chuckles every now and then. oh, that sneaky man.
“satoru, I am telling you it’s broken!”
“sweetheart, we spent over 2000$ on that. if it broke, then we could easily sue the company,” he chuckled, arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer.
“2 year guaranteed top performance my ass!”
you smile at the memory. it was pretty satoru of him to do that. your eyes then move to continue reading.
second, there are times when I would tell megumi that you would be coming with me, then he would turn and leave me when he found out I was tricking him.
your eyes glance up at said boy who is sat across of you. he made it out alive, despite everything. he suffered so much, but he made it.
it makes you relieved, and you can imagine satoru being bloody proud of him and saying something along the lines of ‘you handed sukuna’s ass to him, very cool!’
no matter how much megumi had frowned and grimaced at satoru’s presence or antics. it rooted itself as something—safe and familiar.
you can’t count on your hands the times when you and satoru would visit the siblings, and nobody really said it, but these meetings did all of you a favor, a chance to kind of wind down. maybe act like death might actually not be looming tomorrow.
it feels like just yesterday when megumi would cling to you when he got really sad or nervous, after so much time spent getting comfortable with each other.
he grew up well, you think, eyes gliding to next.
third, I hid your uniform every two to three weeks, so you have to stay with me.
at that, your eyes widen a bit. satoru’s schedule was pretty packed, but he somehow managed to squeeze time for quality time between you two.
it tugged on your heartstrings, and you made sure he knew how much you appreciated it, not a single space on his face left without a kiss. however, finding out that he went out of his way to make you rest and stay.
satoru’s care really showed in his actions, and you feel like this is the biggest proof of it.
“satoru, have you seen my uniform?”
“nope! maybe, it is a sign to stay home today? you’ve been working so hard, wifey!”
you cupped his face, pulled him down to your height, and kisses his cheek, “you’ve been working harder, ‘toru. let me take off some of the load at least.”
“we could both stay!”
“you’re kidding, right?”
“I already told yaga; I miss you!”
you try to stop the reminiscing further and try to compose yourself before reading the rest.
fourth, I’m the one who kept adjusting the thermostat. I just wanted an excuse to cuddle.
a fond yet melancholy smile appears on your face. you kinda figured that one out. satoru’s favorite pastime was cuddling, so it’s no surprise that he would go out of his way to create the need for it even further.
add to that, once you went to get some green tea and saw him from the corner of your eye teleport to the thermostat, click something, then teleport back to bed.
you figured that the room being chilly that night was not an exception in the middle of july.
“babeeee, it’s so cold! let’s cuddle!”
“maybe the problem is with the thermostat?”
“I checked! I think cuddling is the best solution.”
you giggle as you recall the moment, one of many similar. your heart feels a bit lighter as you go through the letter. something satoru managed to always do even in person.
he would plaster sticky notes, get you trinkets, and even pull pranks on other just to see you smile. feeling more encouraged, you keep on reading the letter.
then you feel your chest constrict so tightly that you might just throw up.
fifth, I am really gonna fucking miss you.
you read the line over again, and you purse your lip in hopes of silencing any noise that may come out as you feel the lump in your throat return, even worse than before. your breathing starts getting more difficult.
your grip on the letter tightens, and you find yourself thinking back to the good times. memories of late nights spent in each other’s arms, thinking about everything and nothing at once.
hushed whispers of confessions and quiet giggles as you reminisced on your highschool days. tight hugs when recalling the sad moments and the departure of a certain someone.
“you know, y/n, I think we might just be made for each other,” he said one night. you hummed and looked him in the eyes.
“three am thoughts?”
“three am admissions,” he grins slightly, “I am made for you, and you’re made for me.”
you remember him pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, while you teased, “and what would you need little old me for, so much that I got made?”
he feigns thinking then closes his eyes, burying his face in your shoulder, “grounding me.”
I love you. I really do, but you should know that already, right?
your eyes drift down to the corner of the paper, and that is when you feel your tears start free-falling. there is drawn a chibi satoru besides a chibi you and between them is a heart.
the chibi satoru is giving yours a big smooch, while she laughs. you never thought that the day your jealousy burns would be because of drawings, and drawings of you and your own husband, nonetheless.
“but wow, gojo-sensei is shit at writing letters,” you hear nobara remark.
megumi responds with a small chuckle, “I am fine with mine.”
“what about you, y/n-sensei?—”
the trio becomes silent as you let out a sob. a watery smile makes its way up your face as you kiss the letter gently and murmur, “so shitty.”
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#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x you#gojo x you#gojou satoru x reader#jjk imagines#gojo imagine#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#jjk gojo x reader#jjk gojo x you
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my 10 holy grail pieces of writing advice for beginners
from an indie author who's published 4 books and written 20+, as well as 400k in fanfiction (who is also a professional beta reader who encounters the same issues in my clients' books over and over)
show don't tell is every bit as important as they say it is, no matter how sick you are of hearing about it. "the floor shifted beneath her feet" hits harder than "she felt sick with shock."
no head hopping. if you want to change pov mid scene, put a scene break. you can change it multiple times in the same scene! just put a break so your readers know you've changed pov.
if you have to infodump, do it through dialogue instead of exposition. your reader will feel like they're learning alongside the character, and it will flow naturally into your story.
never open your book with an exposition dump. instead, your opening scene should drop into the heart of the action with little to no context. raise questions to the reader and sprinkle in the answers bit by bit. let your reader discover the context slowly instead of holding their hand from the start. trust your reader; donn't overexplain the details. this is how you create a perfect hook.
every chapter should end on a cliffhanger. doesn't have to be major, can be as simple as ending a chapter mid conversation and picking it up immediately on the next one. tease your reader and make them need to turn the page.
every scene should subvert the character's expectations, as big as a plot twist or as small as a conversation having a surprising outcome. scenes that meet the character's expectations, such as a boring supply run, should be summarized.
arrive late and leave early to every scene. if you're character's at a party, open with them mid conversation instead of describing how they got dressed, left their house, arrived at the party, (because those things don't subvert their expectations). and when you're done with the reason for the scene is there, i.e. an important conversation, end it. once you've shown what you needed to show, get out, instead of describing your character commuting home (because it doesn't subvert expectations!)
epithets are the devil. "the blond man smiled--" you've lost me. use their name. use it often. don't be afraid of it. the reader won't get tired of it. it will serve you far better than epithets, especially if you have two people of the same pronouns interacting.
your character should always be working towards a goal, internal or external (i.e learning to love themself/killing the villain.) try to establish that goal as soon as possible in the reader's mind. the goal can change, the goal can evolve. as long as the reader knows the character isn't floating aimlessly through the world around them with no agency and no desire. that gets boring fast.
plan scenes that you know you'll have fun writing, instead of scenes that might seem cool in your head but you know you'll loathe every second of. besides the fact that your top priority in writing should be writing for only yourself and having fun, if you're just dragging through a scene you really hate, the scene will suffer for it, and readers can tell. the scenes i get the most praise on are always the scenes i had the most fun writing. an ideal outline shouldn't have parts that make you groan to look at. you'll thank yourself later.
happy writing :)
#writing#writeblr#writing advice#fantasy#original fiction#fantasy writing#indie author#writer advice
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Bloodlines entwined: I | jjk
⤷ having a baby alone was supposed to be easy. but an accidental twist of fate pulled you into a hidden world of werewolves, and ancient bloodlines. navigating your already complicated life becomes even harder as you uncover your past; one tied to a legacy you never knew existed. and in the middle of this chaos stands jungkook, the werewolf king… and the father of your child.
— pairing: werewolf!jungkook x female reader
— genre: strangers to lovers, parents-to-be au, royalty au, werewolves au, soulmates au, angst, fluff, and smut
— rating: 18+
— words: 7,213
— warnings: strong language, mention of death, mention of murder, mention of loneliness, mention of blood, several mentions of abortion, and crying
— author’s note: here it is the first chapter of this series! <3 i’m actually very excited about this entire universe, i’ve been working on it for a little while already & i’ve been taking my time to write each part 🤗 the beginning is inspired by Jane the Virgin and the Flash as they are both my favorite shows ✨ i hope you’ll enjoy this part & don’t hesitate to let me know what you think 😊
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Chapter I: when worlds collide
SERIES MASTERLIST | next
Sitting in your car, you’ve been looking blinkingly at the windshield, hands trembling against the steering wheel. For ten whole minutes, you’ve been frozen like this as if moving would shatter the fragile sense of calm you’ve barely managed to hold together.
Your life is about to drastically change; you know it deep down.
“The deed is done,” you whisper to yourself.
You let out a shaky breath, and your reflection in the rearview mirror catches your eye. You look exhausted, your eyes wide and glistening.
For two years, this moment has been building. You have thoughtfully considered having a child on your own. At first, it was just a random thought that crossed your mind, a curiosity born on one of those quiet, lonely moments where life felt both too much and not enough. Then, you deeply thought about it. The idea rooted itself deep within you, anchoring into something raw and tender: a longing to create a family on your own terms.
After much research and consideration, you decided to go for it.
Many people couldn’t understand your choice, but honestly, you don’t give two shits about others’ opinions. What did matter to you was the support of close family and friends.
Felix, the man who raised you after your parents were stolen from you, proposed to accompany you to the fertility clinic, but you gently declined his offer. This was something you wanted to do by yourself. Well, you just came alone to be inseminated. Other than that, he has been by your side every step of the way.
He helped you to go through the countless donor profiles, and every document needed for this adventure of yours.
The process was a bit long and emotionally draining. The first steps were more like an evaluation, mostly for the clinic to understand your reasons and ensure you’ve deeply thought about all the aspects. Having a kid alone isn’t just about fulfilling your dreams but also about building a life for a child.
Once you’ve successfully completed those steps, you had to choose the donor. There were a lot of choices; it was like going grocery shopping. You were handed a catalog of potential donors with their medical histories and first names. It felt odd to be choosing the progenitor like this. After going through every profile, one of them stood out.
Following the donor selection, your cycles and hormone levels were tracked. When all was good, you’d get inseminated on your ovulation period, which technically is happening this week.
So, ten minutes ago, you walked out of the clinic after being artificially knocked up.
If your egg is fertilized, in nine months, you’ll welcome your very much desired baby. A tiny human who will call you mom. You already picked the names, one for a girl, one for a boy. You simply can’t wait to welcome a tiny human in your life. Hopefully, the life of your baby will be better than yours.
You lean your head against the steering wheel, closing your eyes as the ghosts of your past surface.
Twenty years ago, your life was turned upside down when a terrible murderer put an end to your parents’ lives. Nobody ever found him or her; it’s like the person completely vanished into the night. That person left behind a little girl with questions nobody could ever answer and scars nobody could understand.
Since you didn’t have any family left, you were raised by your father’s best friend, Felix. Over time, he became like a second father to you. Even though you were full of anger when he took you over, he stayed by your side and helped you navigate this sad reality; one where your parents weren’t part of anymore.
His daughter, Lexi is your age. You were already so close, and living under the same roof brought you even closer. She’s your super best friend, almost like a sister today. A smile grows on your face as you think of her. Your life would have been a nightmare without her.
Lexi was the first person to be aware of this desire to become a single mother. She even pushed you to do it as soon as you could, and she has encouraged you like nobody else. She also helped you select a donor; she even made fun of the names of some of them.
Your phone buzzes; the name and picture of Lexi appearing on the screen.
“Hi,” you say when you pick up.
“Soo,” she says. “How did it go?”
“Good, I guess?” you say with clear hesitation. “The doctor just inserted a thin catheter, looked at the screen, and said it was done,” you explain. “Now we just have to wait.”
Waiting is now the worst part, especially since you decided not to take any pregnancy test until the next appointment. Meaning, you have to wait two full weeks.
“Let’s hope the donor’s little swimmers are good ones,” she says.
While you always wanted to have a kid, Lexi never wanted one. You and her are total opposites but that’s what helped create such a strong bond between you. “Yeah, let’s hope for that,” you smile.
Two weeks later
A couple of days ago, you took a blood test, and now, you’re in the waiting room, patiently waiting for the doctor to call you up.
These past two weeks, you’ve been internally battling to take a pregnancy test. It’s been hard to fight the urge to discover beforehand if you’re expecting or not. On your way to the clinic, your heart was beating extremely fast with nervousness. Even the music playing in the car didn’t seem to calm you down.
Even though you’re extremely nervous, a part of you knows. You can’t explain it, but you feel it deep down. Two nights ago, you were lying in bed completely exhausted after an intense day at work. The rhythm of your heartbeat was rocking you to sleep. Amidst the thrum of your own heart, you swear you could hear a faint, smaller, and quicker rhythm.
You instantly opened your eyes, scanning the room. The sound wasn’t coming from outside. It felt like it was inside you. You stayed perfectly still, listening to that tiny sound. That night, you were rocked to sleep by that new rhythm.
The morning after, as you caught your reflection in the bathroom’s mirror, something felt off. Your brows furrowed as you noticed your own scent was different. It felt like it was mixed with somebody else’s scent, but it wasn’t as strong as yours or any other living human. It was extremely odd.
After a little while, the doctor says your name, and with shaky legs, you walk to her office. Your heart is beating at a very crazy pace, ready to burst at any moment. This is so stressful; it feels like time is moving so slowly.
“Hello yn,” the doctor smiles at you while you’re entering the room. “How have you been feeling?” you now take a seat.
“I’m good, thanks,” you smile back at her.
She sits down at her desk and takes a look at her computer.
“So, did you take any pregnancy test?” she asks.
“No, no,” you answer. “I wanted to keep the surprise for today.”
“I see,” she looks again at her screen before taping on her keyboard.
She seems to quickly read something before her smile widens. Your heart is going completely crazy. It really makes you nervous, and you try to mentally prepare yourself to receive the bad news as well. It’ll definitely break your heart but you’ll try again.
This entire process is quite expensive, but the payment can be spread out over time rather than made in one shot. With this first payment, you have the right to three attempts. If pregnancy isn’t achieved after those attempts, you’ll have to go through another round and pay for additional attempts.
The doctor mentioned that usually, it takes about three to six attempts to achieve a successful pregnancy. Hopefully, you’ll get pregnant within those first three tries. You’re not entirely sure you’ll be able to afford another round of insemination.
“Well, it looks like it only took you one try to conceive,” she informs you.
And right there, your heart bursts with joy. There’s indeed a little human being growing inside you. You’ll become a mother in nine months. You can’t believe it.
A little tear runs down your face as you hear the good news. It’s such a relief. You won't have to worry about coming back for another round.
“That’s good news,” you clean the tear on your cheek.
“It is indeed,” she says. “In four weeks more or less, we’ll plan an ultrasound to confirm the embryo’s implantation and check for a heartbeat,” she adds.
Well, you’ll still get worried about that because maybe until there, your baby will not survive. But you need to remain positive. No need to start stressing about it; you promised yourself that you’ll try to remain calm the entirety of the process and pregnancy so you’ll offer a great beginning of life to your baby.
“I’m very hopeful everything will go well because both you and the donor are in good health,” she says.
“Let’s hope for that,” you answer.
You then proceed to schedule the next appointment in four weeks. You can’t hide the immense smile on your face. This is the best news you got today. Nothing else will ever be possible to ruin this day.
When you leave the clinic, you instantly call Lexi.
“I AM PREGNANT!” you scream with excitement.
“Yeeeah,” she screams as well. “I’m going to be an aunty!” she adds.
“I’m so relieved that this first attempt was successful,” you admit.
Once you get inside your car, you touch your belly to caress it.
“That baby is so lucky to have you as a mother,” she says after. “And even more lucky to join our family.”
For sure, your family will extremely love this baby. It’s such a desired baby, and everybody has been so excited.
“They’ll be so loved,” you reply.
“There’s absolutely no doubt,” she says. “Dad will be so happy about this news; he’s been so excited to become a grandpa.”
Felix has expressed lately that he couldn’t wait to welcome a baby and become a granddad. This man has raised you for twenty years, and you consider him as a second father. There’s no doubt that your baby will see him as their grandfather even if, biologically speaking, he isn’t.
When you hang up, you stare into the void for a couple of minutes. In this moment, you wish your parents would be here. They would have been so happy to become grandparents, but they won’t be by your side for this new chapter of your life.
They are also the reason why you’re doing all of this. Since they passed, there’s been a tremendous emptiness inside you that even the love of Felix couldn’t fill in. This void stems mostly from the fact that you were left alone when they were killed. You’ve been feeling so lonely since then.
Throughout your life, you tried to fill it with relationships but they all failed. As far as you can remember, you wanted to follow the traditional path to build a family. However, it never worked out. Then, one day, you saw a brochure about single mothers, and you’ve been thinking about it since then.
You’ve seen motherhood as a role that will fill this emotional void you’ve been carrying for years. Plus, you’ve also seen it as a way to finally control your life. Twenty years ago, someone decided for you what your life would become. This wasn’t fair.
And you also want to give your baby the life you never got. You want to give them a loving family that won’t disappear the second the parents die. Outside of your parents, you didn’t have a family. Based on what Felix told you, your grandparents were against your parents' relationship so they moved into another city to live freely and build a family.
Life hasn’t been fair for you, but you want to make it fair for your baby.
Two weeks later
The clinic called you this morning to urgently come in the afternoon, only making you grow concerned during the day. You kept wondering what the reason for such urgency would be. Did they notice something when they did the blood test? Did they get the wrong blood test? Are you even really pregnant?
However, you’re a hundred percent sure you’re carrying a life inside you. You haven’t had the ‘normal’ early symptoms yet, but you can feel your baby inside you. The faint heartbeat can still be heard, and there’s still that subtle scent interwoven with yours.
For the past two weeks, you’ve repeatedly inhaled this new scent, almost to make sure you weren’t hallucinating. Most of the time, you wondered if it wasn’t something like blood, sweat, or the smell of your new shampoo. It was definitely an earthly one. One that only a human can possess.
Once inside the clinic, you’re instantly installed in the doctor’s room. Your heart is crazily beating inside your chest; you’re so nervous right now. Seconds later, a man joins you in the room.
At first glance, you’d think he is the CEO of a huge company. He’s fully dressed in a black suit with a white shirt underneath, his hands casually placed in his pants pockets. This man is extremely charismatic; something about him draws you in.
The man looks at you while frowning, his eyes moving from your eyes to your belly. By reflex, you cover your stomach with your hands. He’s making you uncomfortable with his intense stare.
He has a very strong bestial scent, it predominates his cologne. Everything about him is imposing, even the way his heart beats; it’s so calm while yours is completely erratic. The man’s eyes are clued on you.
The doctor arrives right after and closes the door behind her. Her face is quite serious; she even seems concerned.
“Miss y/l/n,” she takes a seat at her desk. “Mister Jeon,” she looks at the man behind you. “Please take a seat.”
The two of you sit down next to each other with apprehension. You can hear his heart beating a little faster, but he remains extremely calm on the outside.
“There’s been a mistake,” she starts saying.
The words hang in the air, heavy with unspoken implications. The doctor pauses, giving you time to absorb the gravity of the statement. Her tone is gentle, but at the same time professional.
The sterile, cold walls of the room seem to close in around you as the doctor’s words pierce through your thoughts.
“There was a mix-up with the sample…” your breath is caught in your throat, your hands trembling. “We were supposed to inseminate you with the donor sample you selected. We still don’t know how but you got inseminated with Mister Jeon’s sample.”
Your eyes look at the man sitting next to you. All you can see in his eyes is the same disbelief that reflects your own. So, this is your child’s father.
Many questions cross your mind, but they remain unspoken, lodged in your throat.
“We truly apologize for our mistake,” she says. “We were totally aware you both wanted to have a child alone.”
You desired nothing more than being alone in this adventure; you didn’t want a present father. That was the whole point of a donor. Now, you know the father of your child, and he’d probably like to be present.
For the past months, you went through a series of questions regarding the fact that you’ll raise your child alone. They asked you many times how you’d explain to your child that they don’t have a father. This now feels like a complete waste of time.
“We understand the nature of this situation. We will refund the totality of the treatment’s costs. We can also terminate the pregnancy if you both wish.”
Those words seem so heavy and yet, they represent the reality of the choice you now have to face. A knot tightens in your stomach at the thought of undoing something you wished for so long. The baby is now growing inside of you, you’ve got used to falling asleep with their tiny heartbeat. The only thought of not having it anymore breaks your heart beyond comprehension.
Right now, everything—your carefully constructed plans, your hopes, the small life growing inside you—seems to be slipping through your fingers.
Mister Jeon is silent beside you, his hands clenched into fists on his knees. He seems as stunned as you, but you can’t help but think that there’s something else there too. Something deeper and darker.
You ignore if he’s thinking the same thing as you, but you can feel it: the strange twist of fate pulling you both into an unknown world, one you both hadn’t planned for.
“You still have some time to decide, of course,” the doctor’s voice is still very soft.
Time seems irrelevant now. There’s a choice you need to make; a choice you didn’t expect to face. You swallow hard, your heart racing inside your chest. Your hands caress your belly through your shirt while you only hear the baby’s fragile heartbeat.
This isn’t supposed to happen. This can’t be real.
Jungkook’s face went pale as the doctor’s words sank in.
“There’s been a mistake,” she starts saying.
Just like you, the room’s white walls feel suffocating, the air thick with a tension he can’t shake. A mistake. His mistake. He tried to avoid this situation. He was supposed to go through surrogacy to guarantee a child that would uphold his lineage. His werewolf lineage, pure and untouched by human blood.
“There was a mix-up with the sample…” the doctor’s words hang up in the air like a death sentence. “We were supposed to inseminate you with the donor sample you selected. We still don’t know how but you got inseminated with Mister Jeon’s sample.”
His eyes quickly look at you, and he notices how much you’re shaking. It seems like you’re in a more devasted state than he is.
“We truly apologize for our mistake,” she says. “We were totally aware you both wanted to have a child alone.”
Jungkook blinks, trying to absorb what is happening. A human child. Nonetheless, his child. Having children with humans isn’t just a personal choice; it’s a fundamental rule of the werewolf society. The very foundation of his power as the king depends on the purity of his bloodline. To break the rule is to risk everything.
He knows better than anyone what happens to the werewolf-human hybrid kids together with the parents. They are killed by the pack. Being a king doesn’t make him the exception to the rule. If this pregnancy goes to full term, not only will he be killed, but the baby and the lady sitting next to him will too.
You didn’t ask for any of this. You don’t deserve to die because of a mistake.
His gaze filled with frustration and panic moves toward you once more as his pulse quickens. He wanted control over the situation. He never intended to father a hybrid child. And now, not only is he involved in this pregnancy, but the child is going to carry his blood mixed with human genetics. God only knows what can happen to this kid, genetically speaking.
“We understand the nature of this situation. We will refund the totality of the treatment costs. We can also terminate the pregnancy if you both wish.”
‘This can’t be happening’, he thinks.
His eyes move back to the doctors, his hands clenched into fists. The thought of the entire werewolf community learning of this is unbearable. And what is his mother going to think of this?
She was the first person to support him in this surrogacy journey. She knew how important it was for him to have a child as soon as possible because he’d been struggling to find someone with whom he’d mate. Having an heir is the first thing a king should do to ensure the legacy.
Now, he’s about to have a child with a human. That’s not possible. This child won’t have a pure bloodline, this child can’t ever be an heir.
“You still have some time to decide, of course,” the doctor’s voice is still very soft.
The idea of termination seems dreadful, but the possibility of a hybrid child heir seems even worse. His responsibility as king, and the traditions that have been in place for centuries don’t allow for such breach. To raise a kid with human blood would mean instant disgrace, not only for him but for his entire family. How could he even be respected after this?
His entire world is slipping through his fingers. His position as king is now in jeopardy. This baby will destabilize the entire werewolf community. Nobody will respect him and will only see him as weak. Weak for having a human child.
There’s no going back. His mind tries to find a solution to fix this, or how to undo this. The idea of raising a child with a human—no matter how much it is his responsibility—is unthinkable. He never desired this and hasn’t even considered it. He has been so focused on maintaining his bloodline that the idea of a mistake happening never crossed his mind.
Your presence beside him destabilizes him beyond comprehension. He can see the confusion in your eyes mixed with disbelief. You can’t comprehend the extension of this entire problem. You can’t even comprehend the danger of mixing bloodlines, because you aren’t a werewolf.
Jungkook stands in silence for a moment, his mind racing with thoughts. Terminating this pregnancy isn’t something he desires, but having a child with a human is simply impossible. His heart beats too crazily, and he can hear yours beating just as fast. His heart and duty are pulling him in two different directions.
Finally, his eyes meet yours. His voice is soft but it carries a heavy weight. “We need to decide. This affects both of us.”
After what felt like an eternity, you both leave the room completely shaken up by the news you just got. How could this be happening?
As you’re both walking in the clinic in the parking lot’s direction, none of you dares to speak. You’re a complete stranger to Jungkook. All he knows is that you’re a human carrying his child.
“I can’t have that child,” he finally breaks the silence.
His words cause you to stop.
“It’s too early for me to consider terminating this pregnancy,” you admit. “I need time.”
Jungkook understands your perspective. It’s not a decision you lightly take, especially if you’ve come to this clinic to have a child. It’d be completely absurd to abort after going through this entire process.
“Of course,” he says. “But I want you to know my point of view.”
You nod, understanding his perspective as well. This is such a horrible situation. Jungkook wanted to have an heir while you simply wanted to have a child on your own. On top of that, he doesn’t look like the donor you selected.
“So if I decide to keep it, would you be out?” you ask.
Jungkook considers your words. There’s a possibility that the baby could still exist, but he wouldn’t be part of their life. He’d still be losing because he wants a child, but at least this way, his position wouldn’t be jeopardized, and no one would get hurt or killed.
“It’s possible,” he honestly answers.
You nod once more. Even though he decides not to be part of his child’s life, he’d still know that he has a kid somewhere. He wouldn’t have any trouble finding you; he already knows your smell, and he has the means to find you.
“Okay,” you say.
Jungkook watches you take a pen and paper from your purse before writing something.
“This is my phone number,” you hand him the piece of paper. “In case you change your mind or take a decision.”
The man takes the piece of paper while you give him a small smile. You start walking away, his eyes following you until you disappear inside a car.
In this situation, he definitely would like to ask his mother for advice, but he can’t. He already knows the answer she’ll give him. ‘This baby can’t exist.’ And she’s right, but he can’t force you to terminate the pregnancy. It’s your body after all.
In the eventuality that you decide to proceed with the pregnancy, he guesses he’ll let you be a mother alone and pretend like this kid doesn’t exist.
You’ve spent the last two days crying in bed. The conversation with the doctor and this mysterious Mister Jeon has been playing over and over in your head. You can still picture everything so clearly; the white walls of the doctor’s room, the apologies from the doctor, and Mister Jeon’s piercing gaze.
‘There’s been a mistake,’ ‘There was a mix-up with the sample,’ the words still echo in your mind.
You’ve been trying to make sense of how such a monumental mistake has happened. But nothing seems to make sense. The clinic did this; the clinic took control over your decision. This chapter of your life was about you gaining control, but once more, someone decided for you. It’s been making you angry.
You’re furious at the clinic and their negligence. You trusted them with your project of building your own family. However, they decided otherwise.
But underneath that anger, there’s another fury; one directed to yourself. You were so focused on having a child on your own terms that you didn’t stop to consider the what-ifs. You didn’t stop to consider that something might go wrong. And now, you are here.
You’ve been staring at the ceiling for hours now, your mind trying to find a solution. Do you keep this baby? Do you terminate the pregnancy?
This choice feels impossible. It feels like no matter what your life will completely change.
But deep down, you somehow feel some kind of relief. Because when Mister Jeon—this intense and charismatic man—said there was a possibility he’d walk away, that he’d leave you to raise this child alone, you felt lighter.
His potential absence is appealing. It aligns with your original choice, to be a single mother. A choice where your child is yours, and yours alone. But then, there’s also a possibility where he stays, or that he comes back later. What would happen then?
You press your hands against your face while a guttural growl leaves your lips. This is so damn frustrating. This should be simple. Because now, you’re left wondering what you want. Do you want to walk away from this and stick to the original plan? Or do you want to embrace this chaos, and see where this might lead?
Your hands slide down to your stomach, caressing it while you hear again the tiny heartbeat. This sound comforts you which makes you close your eyes.
For now, you don’t have any answers to all your questions. You’re not even sure you’ll have them tomorrow. For now, you’ll let yourself breathe. You’ll let yourself feel. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find the answers.
The sound of your phone ringing pushes you out of your own thoughts, informing you that you received a message. You sit on your bed before grabbing the phone on the nightstand. You received a message from an unknown number. By curiosity, you unlock your phone to read it. To your surprise, it’s the famous and mysterious Mister Jeon.
From unknown: hi miss y/l/n, this is jeon jungkook, the father of your child. i’d like to meet you to discuss the matter. would you be free tonight?
Your heart hammers inside your chest, ready to burst at any second. He contacted you sooner than expected. You were thinking that you wouldn’t hear anything from him for at least a week. You thought you’d have more time to make a decision before meeting him. Now, it seems you don’t, and that you’ll have a very interesting conversation with him tonight.
With shaky hands, you start typing your answer.
To unknown: hello mister jeon, we could meet tonight
When you press ‘send’, you stare at the conversation, waiting for an answer. Mister Jeon responds instantly to your message, proposing to meet in a town square. You accept the suggestion and quickly go to your clothes cupboard to pick up an outfit.
The man seems very impressive, and you want to be presentable. He’s after all the progenitor of the life growing inside you.
A couple of hours later, you take the road to the meeting point. Surprisingly, you’ve remained calm for the entire drive. Driving is actually the only thing able to calm your tormented soul. Whenever you go through something very intense, you just drive to clear your mind.
However, since this pregnancy thing, even driving hasn’t been able to help you out. You tried to drive yesterday, but it only made things worse. So it definitely surprises you that you’ve been able to clear your mind before meeting Mister Jeon.
When you arrive, he’s already there waiting for you. He’s not wearing a suit, quite the contrary. His outfit is only made of a grey sweater with a blue pair of jeans. His hair isn’t perfectly pushed back as it was two days ago. It feels like you’re meeting a completely different person.
When he sees you, he stands up. As he does so, you notice he holds a box in his right hand. It’s a small one, but it still intrigues you.
“Good evening, miss y/l/n,” he says.
“Good evening, mister Jeon,” you say back.
His presence is still very imposing, but the fact that he isn’t wearing a suit anymore changes it a bit. He seems more approachable than he was in the clinic.
“Please call me Jungkook,” he offers you a small smile.
It’s the first time you see him smiling, and it feels like a very warm one. Beneath it all and in the midst of the city noise, you can perceive his heartbeat. It’s quite rapid which makes you tilt your head. Is he nervous?
“You can call me yn as well,” you smile back at him.
“I’ve brought you a box with some pastries,” he hands you the box. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like.”
Your smile grows wider at his simple but heartwarming gesture. This wasn’t expected, but it lightens the mood. Jungkook seems to be a nice person which contrasts with the cold and unreadable person he seemed two days ago.
“Thanks,” you say while grabbing the little box. “You didn’t need to,” your eyes look up at him.
After that, you both sit down on the bench he was on before you arrived. By the way he rubs his hands on his tights, you can tell that he’s a bit nervous. You try not to overanalyze him, because you know your mind will go crazy, full of questions.
“What is happening is really crazy,” he admits with obvious nervousness. “I never imagined things would go this way,” you nod.
Jungkook looks everywhere, except at you. It seems like he isn’t brave enough to face you, almost like a teenager confessing his love.
“As I told you two days ago, I can’t have this child,” he finally speaks. “I really would love to, but I’d put the three of us in danger.”
Your heart starts beating rapidly. What does he mean by ‘putting you in danger’? Does he come from a crazy family? Is he part of the mafia? This is scaring the hell out of you.
“We didn’t know each other up until two days ago, and you don’t deserve to be put in danger because of a stupid mistake the clinic did,” he seems angry when he mentions the mistake. “But I can’t force you to terminate the pregnancy, it’s your body, and it was also your wish to have a child. I can’t take that away from you.”
It kind of surprises you how respectful he is. Any other man in his position could have forced or paid you to put an end to this pregnancy. It’s really admirable.
“In case you want to keep going with it, I just want you to know that I’ll step away, and I will never come back to reclaim a role I refused from the beginning.”
You wonder what the reasons behind his decision could be. This man desired to have a child but is now refusing to have one with you because of a mistake.
“To be honest with you, I don’t know what to do,” you admit.
His piercing eyes finally look at you. For a split second, you can swear that they were red. Red like blood. This destabilizes you, and you furrow your eyebrows. You’re not sure if you’re being delirious or if this is real.
“I wanted to become a mother, but not like this,” you continue, still destabilized by what you just saw. “So it leaves me wondering what I should do. But if you walk away, I’ll be more tempted to keep the baby because, in the end, it’ll go as I planned.”
In an unexplainable way, this man puts you at ease. It feels like you can confess how you truly feel about this situation without being judged by him. This man exudes serenity which draws you even more to him.
“I get that,” he says.
For a brief moment, you only look at him while your heart peacefully beats in your chest. His dark eyes stare right into your soul, and it feels like the world completely stopped. There’s just the two of you. But Jungkook breaks the contact, looking in another direction.
“If you decide to keep the child and need any financial help, I can give it to you,” he speaks.
This man definitely seems like a good guy, and you wonder even more why he’s walking away from this.
“I won’t,” you answer. “I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t have any means to take care of the baby.”
For sure you need financial stability to be a single mother, and you would have never embarked on this adventure without having it.
Jungkook runs his fingers through his fluffy hair, avoiding still your gaze. “Can I ask why you want to become a single mom?”
The question catches you off guard. You weren’t expecting this man—this stranger—to be interested in you.
“I didn’t have an easy life and I grew up without my parents,” you confess. “Motherhood was something I aspired to have in my life since I’m very young, and I’ve desired to give to my child everything I didn’t have. No matter if it was with someone or alone.”
Your eyes shift from Jungkook to the square full of people. It’s never easy to express out loud and to a complete stranger why you embarked on this adventure. Mentioning your parents is actually never easy; even after all this time.
Suddenly, you feel Jungkook’s gaze on you, but he doesn’t say anything. He just stares at you in complete silence. For once in your life, people’s heartbeats and scents don’t suffocate you. You can hear and smell them, but it’s like it doesn’t matter.
For as long as you can remember, you’ve had those developed skills. You can hear stuff from afar, and you can strongly smell people’s natural body’s scent. Since it’s kind of ‘normal’ to you, you got used to it; but sometimes, and especially when you’re in the middle of heavy crowds, it suffocates you. It becomes simply too much.
This is something you never told anyone, too scared to be judged. Undoubtedly, people would say you’ve gone crazy due to the trauma of losing your parents. Not even Felix or Lexi knows about it. They just think you’re agoraphobic.
However, lately, you’ve been trying to go to some crowded place to overcome this suffocating feeling. You ignore why you’ve been doing it, but you’ve been doing it. It’s still too much, but today, next to this complete stranger, it doesn’t feel like it.
“I’m sorry you lost your parents,” he whispers.
You turn to look at him to offer him a little smile.
“Thanks,” you mumble. “Can I also ask you why you’re doing this?” you dare to ask.
Jungkook nods before looking away once more. It definitely looks like it’s hard for him to hold your gaze.
“In my world,” he starts saying. “I have heavy responsibilities, and having a child is one of them. But I can’t have one with anybody. I’m very limited in who is the biological mother so that’s why I can’t have one with you.”
You almost feel offended by his words. In which kind of world can’t you be the mother of his child? It’s completely crazy!
“Oh,” you simply say.
“You could have been the surrogate…” you can hear some kind of chuckle. “But never the progenitor.”
“It’s seems like a tough world.”
His eyes look again at you; you can see that he seems to hesitate with the answer.
“It isn’t,” he finally says. “But it is with me.”
Obviously, he carefully chose his words.
“Well, I hope you’ll find the right mother for your child,” you offer him once more a little smile.
“Thanks,” he smiles back at you.
The two of you look back again at the people walking in the town square. They are walking around you, ignoring totally what you’re going through, what tough decision you have to make. They ignore everything about you, just as you ignore everything about them…
“I’m sorry about all of this,” he adds.
“It’s not your fault,” you answer. “It’s the clinic’s.”
Jungkook shifts uncomfortably, his gaze fixed on the people walking in front of you. His heart is racing and piercing through your ears. He’s even more nervous than he was before, and it concerns you a bit. But you don’t say anything, too afraid to scare him off if you reveal you can hear his heartbeat.
“Yn…” he starts. “There’s something you need to know,” his voice is deep and low at the same time. It’s so low that it almost drowns out by the distant chatter of people passing by.
You turn to look at him, your brow furrowing. “Okay,” you whisper.
Jungkook takes a deep breath, his jaw tightening before he exhales. His eyes don’t meet yours immediately, but when he does, there’s an intensity that makes your stomach twist.
“When I said my world is different,” he swallows with difficulty. “I don’t mean it in a metaphorical sense. My world, my reality is not the same as yours.”
You frown even more, confusion plastered all over your face. You’re definitely incredibly confused. How could his world be different than yours? You live on the same planet, and breathe the same air. How could it be not the same?
“What do you mean?”
Jungkook gets closer, his voice dropping even lower, barely audible. However, you still hear it perfectly.
“I am not entirely human, yn.”
Your breath catches in your throat, your heart skipping a beat. You stare at him while waiting for him to elaborate. However, Jungkook just stares at you, waiting for your reaction.
“What do you mean by ‘not entirely human’?” you tilt your head.
For a couple of seconds, he doesn’t speak, almost as if he’s scared to reveal his true nature to you.
“I’m a werewolf.”
The words hang in the air, heavy and impossible to ignore. It leaves you wondering if this man is of sound mind. Right now, you’re slightly concerned about his mental health, and the future of your child, if you keep them.
Your first reaction is to laugh, dismissing his words as if it is some kind of twisted joke. But the look on his face tells you that he’s deadly serious. This isn’t a joke.
“A werewolf?” you repeat to make sure you hear it well.
Jungkook nods. He looks tense and he maintains his deep glance on you.
“It’s why I can’t have this child,” he starts to explain. “In my world, bloodlines matter. Werewolf bloodlines are sacred, and the continuation of my lineage isn’t just about having a child. It’s about having the right child with the right kind of mother.”
The weight of his words crashes over you like a tidal wave. You stand up, your hands running through your hair. Your mind is spinning, and your pulse thunders in your ears. This is something you definitely weren’t expecting to hear today.
Werewolves? You’re carrying the child of a werewolf?
This sounds like it comes straight from a fantasy movie.
“This doesn’t feel real,” you whisper to yourself but Jungkook hears it.
“I didn’t want you to be dragged into this world, but you deserve the truth.”
You keep your back turned to him while you cross your arms against your chest.
“This is something you need to consider if you decide to keep the baby.”
At his words, you freeze. Instinctively, your hands down move to your stomach. Jungkook’s eyes follow your hands.
“Is this…” your voice trembles. “Is this a viable child?”
If you want to keep going with this pregnancy, you need to know if this baby can survive.
“There wouldn’t be any reason why this child wouldn’t survive because of mixed blood,” he stands up and gets close to you. “But as they grow up, they’ll develop werewolf abilities. And, one day, they’ll probably turn into one. It’s pretty unpredictable, though. There’s never been a human-werewolf hybrid before.”
Damn, this is leaving you speechless. How can this be real? Werewolves are supposed to exist in movies, not in real life.
“This is insane,” you rub your hands on your face. “This can’t be real.”
Jungkook steps closer. His presence is grounding but nonetheless overwhelming.
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” you demand, your voice filled with panic.
Before you can blink, he gets even closer to you. He’s in front of you in an instant, his hand gently grabbing yours. Your eyes look down at his hand as you notice it changing. His fingers elongate, his nails sharpen into claws, and the texture of his skin turns into something more beastly. Slowly, your eyes look up, and what you see completely freezes your body. His eyes glow a deep, predatory red, and there’s something undeniably wolfish about them.
You take a step back while setting your hand free. As you do so, Jungkook shifts back, his hand returns to its normal form, and his eyes fade back to a human form. The transformation is so quick that it almost feels like you imagined it.
“So what happens now?” you ask.
Jungkook’s gaze softens at your words.
“That depends on you, yn.”
Please note that the taglist is closed
#bts#bts fanfic#bts imagine#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#bts angst#jungkook angst#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#bts smut#jungkook smut#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#bloodlines entwined#bloodlines entwined: chapter 1#spideyjimin
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no thoughts just waitress!reader showing up for shifts like nothings wrong after the date situation
just keeping it calm and professional. working her shifts efficiently and no longer bantering/flirting with ghost, who would rather reader melt down and tear into him than putting up the walls around herself hehe
Ok I'm combining some asks here that had some different ideas - I got so many of you guys demanding reparation for making reader cry 😭 here's the comfort chapter! (Still a tad angsty at the beginning)
Ghost had finished your tips for you that night. He had half a mind to slide a hundred in your payout folder as an apology for ruining your date... but what good would that do? That would make you quit for good, if you hadn't already.
He lays in his bed, eyes stuck to the ceiling, still in his jeans and black shirt. He wishes he could snuff out the guilt that sits heavily in his gut. He wonders what you're doing - probably crying, possibly making a half-assed voodoo doll of himself and stabbing his chest with a dull steak knife, because that's all he feels right now.
He gets up early the next day after a rough three hours of sleep. He lumbers down the stairs to the office - Price is there, sorting out cash and working on the next supply order. He looks at Simon, who's rubbing his eyes and looking worse for wear.
"Mornin'." Price says, turning back to the monitor. Ghost grunts in response, dropping himself onto the couch behind Price. His head aches from the lack of sleep, thoughts circling in his mind about how to apologize to you. He can imagine you won't want to talk to him - or, if you do, it'll most likely be profanities wedged between insults. He'd love for you to berate him right now, and make him feel like he got what he deserved.
Price sighs. "You sleep alright?"
"I've had better."
"Nightmare?"
"... yea, somethin' like that."
Price huffs. "I'm workin' front of house today." He says, grabbing the bag of tips and standing up. "Goin' down to drop these in the safe, then I'll help you stock up."
Simon opens his eyes, looking at Price with confusion. "You?"
Price nods. "Dove called out sick. Sounded like she's got the lurgy."
That delivers the final blow to Simon. He knows you're not sick - you're avoiding him now. All plans to apologize are now out the window, and the more time passes, the harder it'll be to do it.
"You've only got yourself to blame, Simon." Price says, heading down to the restaurant floor.
He curses under his breath as Price leaves. How he heard about what happened - he could only assume it had been from Soap. He drops his arm over his face and groans. He wants to call out himself, but then they might as well shut down the entire pub for the day.
Should he try phoning you? Would you answer, let alone allow him to get more than five words out? What would he say? "Sorry I ruined your date, I was jealous tha' ya got a life outside of the pub." There is no variation of an apology that feels like it would be enough. He made you cry, for fucks sake. That was a punishment in and of itself, but he still had to own up to what he'd done.
He sighs loudly; his body feels heavy as he drags himself off the couch, trudging down the stairs. He still has a bar to run.
It had to have been the longest shift of Simon's life, and he even wrapped things up a bit earlier than usual. He didn't have the gift of your incessant chatting or being able to tease you to make the time pass. Price was a solid companion in front of house, but there was hardly a conversation to be held - even with the usual bar crowd. The patrons had a look of confusion for the majority of the night, wondering why Soap wasn't popping his head out of the kitchen to chat every once in a while - and why the hell the owner was serving tables, and not the chipper, spunky waitress.
When Simon had locked up for the night, he noticed your bike was no longer in the alley. Johnny must have dropped it off on the way back to his place.
Today isn't much different - at least, not for Simon. He's still suffering from a lack of sleep, he's irritable (he had a spat with Johnny in the morning, over something he can't even remember), and his work ethic is suffering. He's not worried about slicing bar fruit; it'll give him something to do later, when he needs it. Maybe the rush will kick him back into shape.
He stares at the dishes on the edge of the bar - they're all in need of a good polish, but he finds himself stuck on staring at the bar fridge. There's nothing else he needs to stock up on - it's packed completely full with wine, champagne, and cans of beer. He gently kicks the side of it with his boot. He should be checking the to-go boxes, helping Soap with setting up the condiments and soups, making sure the tables all had full salt and pepper shakers. That's what you would be doing. But, you're not here, and neither is Price. He can only hope tonight isn't as busy as the previous night, otherwise he'll have to close some tables. Which would make customers mad. Which would make Price mad. Which would-
Suddenly, he hears three loud bangs against the back door. He freezes, the sound triggering a Pavlovian response. He immediately looks up to the kitchen window - Soap opens the door, and you come jogging inside. You greet him with a smile. He asks how you're feeling, and you say "much better".
He doesn't know what to do with himself, but he just stands there like an idiot as you hang your bag and jacket on a hook. Stands there as you push your way into the restaurant, barely sparing him a glance as you scurry by him. Stands there as you run up the stairs, two at a time, diving nose-first into your chores so you can avoid Simon.
He can't speak. Should he? What can he say? "I'm sorry," for starters, but it isn't that simple. He thought you might have quit, and was preparing his heart for the worst. But now, here you are, running back and forth through the pub and setting up your tables - and it feels like you've never been farther away from him.
In all honesty, you can't bring yourself to talk to him either. You're feeling just as ashamed with your behavior two nights ago as he is about his own. Why the fuck would you expect someone - let alone your boss - to do your chores so that you could run off and have fun on a date? Not only that, but you'd made a scene; you felt like you had half-assed the ice bins in your scramble to get them cleaned, and then you sobbed in the middle of the restaurant. The cherry on top, however, was when you called Price yesterday and told him you had a cold, calling out of your shift. It was a cowardly thing to do, and you could tell he wasn't buying your story.
But: bills need to be paid, rent is due, and you can't lose this job. So you sucked it up and came in today - Simon is easy enough to ignore, separated from you by the bar.
At first, the quiet bartender was relieved that you had showed up for your shift - he wouldn't have searched for a new waitress if you had quit, instead choosing to deal with the consequences of his actions. But he's quickly getting more and more irritated with the silent treatment you're serving. You only talk to him when necessary: a simple "thanks" when you grab your drinks and run them to your tables. You busy yourself between rolling silverware, (over)stocking napkins and condiments, and even going so far as to spray the menus down and scrub them with a rag. You spend more time in the kitchen with Soap; each peal of laughter shared between the two of you is another arrow in Simon's chest. He's stuck behind the bar, listening to woes spilling from drunken lips, forced to watch you flit around and pretend he doesn't exist.
You can't keep this up forever.
Still, you do for most of the night. Even when your shift is coming to an end, the kitchen closed while you close the tabs for your remaining tables, you don't cave and sit at the bar with Simon. You sit at the farthest table from him, the farthest chair, in fact, skimming over your tip receipts - and talking to Soap (who was only able to sit with you since you had helped him knock out his tasks).
Simon's never been as angry with Soap as he is now - and the worst part is he knows it's not justified. He's watching from behind the bar, polishing glasses so hard they might wane into cups. He wants to talk to you. He will talk to you before the night is over. He doesn't expect forgiveness, but he expects that you'll at least let him offer an apology.
One of the regulars at the bar looks to whatever Simon is glaring at, chuckling quietly when he sees you. "Trouble in paradise?"
"Stuff it, Mike." Simon grumbles.
Meanwhile, you walk back from closing out your last table, plopping back in the booth with Soap. "What are you doing after this?"
"Sleepin'." he replies instantly, tossing back an onion ring. "Been dealin' with a grumpy bawbag since early this mornin', and I'm beat."
You glance over at the bar; Simon's back is facing you as he organizes the beer glasses. You really should apologize to him... you just couldn't figure out when the right time would be. He'd still be working by the time your shift ends, and you don't even know if he wants to speak to you at this point.
"Is he mad at me?" you ask, tapping your pen on the table.
Soap sighs. "I'm not goin' t' be the middle man, Bonnie." he says, looking at you intently. "If ye feel like somethin' needs to be said, go talk to 'im."
You groan, leaning back against the seat. "It's not that simple."
"Why not?"
"It just isn't! He's already pissed at me, and he probably thinks I'm a slacker. What good is an apology?"
"Ye won't know 'til ye talk to 'im, hmm?"
"What if he fires me?"
Johnny barks with laughter, and you frown. "I'm being serious."
"He'd never fire ye." he says, getting up out of the booth. He stretches both arms above his head and lets out a grunt. "In fact, he was throwin' a fit yesterday n' today 'fore ye came in. Bitch took it out on me."
You winced. "I'm sorry-"
"Save it fer 'im." Soap interjected. He left you at the booth with the onion rings and your tips, disappearing into the kitchen. You huff, hunching back over your tips and scribbling through them.
Deep down, you know Soap is right. If anything, you could just apologize to Simon. If he chooses to be grumpy about it, so be it. You've got tough skin... still, you can't stand the thought of him being upset with you - not because of your work ethic, but because you liked him. A lot. And you wanted him to like you back, even if it was in the most platonic way.
But that didn't change anything. An apology was due, and you were going to give him one before you left tonight.
You grabbed an onion ring and popped it in your mouth, grimacing when you realized they were cold. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Simon making his was across the floor to your booth.
Great. Guess the apology is coming now.
He stops at the edge of the table, wiping his hands in a rag. You pretend to punch numbers into your phone's calculator, but they're all random - you just want to look like you're busy.
"May I sit?" he asks, tucking the rag into his back pocket.
You mumble out a "sure", still not looking at him. You hear his large frame slide into the seat across from you, polyester squeaking underneath his weight. You continue to do random equations on your calculator, letting a thick blanket of tension settle between the two of you. You can feel his stare burning into your head, his arms folded over his chest... and you notice that his mask is in his hand. You finally look up at him.
It's not the first time you've seen his face - you've caught glimpses of it when he smokes in the alley, or when he eats whatever Soap throws under the warmer for you and Simon. But this time, he's not taking it off to be convenient. And, dear god, you're just now paying attention to how scarred, rugged, and handsome he is - but now's not the time for those kinds of thoughts. You feel like he's reaching out an olive branch, showing a possible vulnerable side to himself. So, you place your pen on the table and lean back.
He stays quiet for a moment longer, trying to figure out how to start this. He wants to make sure that you know he's here to apologize, not to ask for forgiveness. From his silence, you assume he's waiting for you to go first.
"I'm sorry about Tuesday night." you say, eyes dropping to the table. Simon's astounded that you're the one apologizing, but you continue. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, and I'm sorry for trying to dump my job on you."
He feels worse, now. Was that even possible? He was expecting anger, insults - a detailed, frustrated explanation of what you did last night since you did not go on that date. But you're the one saying sorry? You think you're to blame for all of this unspoken aggression? Oh, you really do confuse him, sometimes...
"You don't need t' be sorry, luv." he says, gazing at you with a softness you'd never seen before, not in his brown eyes, at least.
"No, I do." you say, nearly pleading with him to let you be apologetic. "I was being a brat, and whether you usually do the ice bins or not, I shouldn't have expected you would do them without asking." You push your pen on the table, doing your best to convey your feelings. "And yeah, I was late for my date, but... well, he sounded like a dick, anyways."
Simon chuckles, watching you stare at the table. "Well, I owe you an apology, too. I jus'..." he sighed heavily, running a hand down his jaw. "I don' even know. Guess I was bein' lazy, or... I got jealous tha' you've got a life outside of this pub. Feels like you belong here."
He immediately regrets saying that - it sounds way too possessive and... just straight up weird. But you smile, taking comfort in the fact that he still wants you here. That this was the whole reason behind the mess.
"Soap called you a bitch. Said you were an asshole all day."
Simon scoffs. "Yea... 'm pretty sure Price would tell ya the same. And he wants ya back, too. Couldn't stand waitin' on tables, he was tryin' t' trade places with me all night."
You laugh. The world seems alright again - not perfect, but good enough. It might take a night of sleeping the tension away before you're fully back to your normal self, but this is a leap in the right direction. You look at Simon, into his brown, steady eyes, as they stare right back at you.
He breaks the silence. "I really am sorry for ruinin' your date."
You smile softly. "Thank you, Simon. I forgive you."
And just like that, the weight of his guilt is lifted away. The lingering sourness remains, a reminder that he had made you cry. But you had forgiven him, which was more than he was hoping to get tonight.
"Are we better?" you ask timidly.
He nods once. "Better."
You smile - you slowly slide your stack of receipts to him, biting your lip. "Cool - can I have my money?"
Just like that, his smirk drops - but you know it's all in good humor. He huffs, snatching the stack from the table and scoots his way out of the booth. "Always got money on the mind, eh?"
"I've always got rent on my mind." you retort, following after him with the bowl of onion rings. You plant yourself at your usual spot on the end of the bar, right near the POS where Simon cashes out your tips. He tries to hurry up, assuming you want to dip and go home after such an intense conversation. He slides the mask back over his face and punches his code in, trying to edit your tips into the system as quickly as he can.
"Simon?"
"Hm?" his response is instant, turning around to look back at you. You've got your phone on the bartop, and your back and jacket on the unoccupied seat next to you.
"Can I stay for a drink?"
He's melting on the inside, only held together by his own skin. He sets your receipts down and opts to do them later, right before whenever you decide to leave. He won't miss on an opportunity to have you stay longer.
"Course, luv. What's it gonna be?"
"You know how to make a cosmo?"
He chuckles, grabbing a glass from the shelf behind him. "Sure do."
#bartender ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost cod#cod x reader#call of duty
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