#will tell you rn though if youre debating whether or not you want to send shitty sounding low quality music please do

[charrfie]

Good morning! I'm looking for some new tunes! So I'm going to turn it into a fun game! Send me songs you like (more than one is alright) and I'll rate how much I like them out of 10 :^]

[bonkie-barnes]

Spoons

natasha romanoff x gn!reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: chronic illness, mention of medicine, self deprecating thoughts

A/N: this is me 1000% projecting about my guilt that comes with my chronic illnesses. they're kicking my ass rn. this is a vent fic, but if you resonate with this at all, i hope you enjoy :)

- - -

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm clock on Natasha’s bedside table has been going off for a full minute already. You merely roll over and cover your head with Natasha’s pillow. It smells like her.

You have absolutely no energy to get up, let alone reach across the bed to turn the alarm off. Your head feels heavy and your body aches something terrible.

The list of chores you have to do around the house today sits uncomfortably in the back of your mind. The list of friends who have texted you about making plans to hang out sits there too. The idea of staying in bed all day sounds more and more appealing by the second. You know this because the alarm is still blaring into the otherwise peaceful morning air.

Just as you’re gathering the strength to sit up and turn the alarm off, Natasha walks in. She looks at her watch and her brow furrows in confusion.

“What are you doing, sleepyhead?” she asks you with a little smirk. There is concern in her eyes, though she masks it well.

You’re both fully aware the alarm has been going off for seven minutes straight now.

“Just tired, love. You know how much work it takes to reach over,” you say in a joking manner, hopeful that you can get past this without worrying her too much.

Natasha eyes you suspiciously for a second before giving in.

“How was your workout?” you ask her sincerely.

As she starts rambling about her morning activities, you feel a sense of shame. You’ve barely managed to wake up in the time it’s taken her to complete a full workout routine. Hell, you couldn’t even find it in you to turn the alarm off.

You finally focus on her rant as it comes to an end. Natasha is looking at you expectantly. Shit. She’s asked you a question.

“Huh?” you grunt.

She chuckles before answering, “I asked if you were ever going to get up and get in the shower, stinky.”

You put on a fake smile but fail to meet her eyes, the shame eating you up. It has been a few days since your last shower, but it’s just so hard to find the strength and energy to get up and stand in one place for more than a minute or two.

If Natasha notices the far away look in your eyes and the grimace on your mouth, she doesn’t say anything.

After one of the quickest and most unproductive showers you’ve ever taken, you find Natasha waiting for you in the kitchen. She’s taken it upon herself to make breakfast for you both.

You kiss her cheek and thank her as you sit down at the table. The warm cup of coffee she sets down in front of you is a godsend. The warmth emitting from the cup helps to diminish the pain in your knuckles, if only slightly. You send up a silent prayer to whomever might be listening that the caffeine will help with the fatigue today instead of making you sick.

Natasha sits down in the chair next to you with her own plate. She runs her eyes over you in a scrutinizing manner. She wants to think you don’t notice, but you do.

Clearing your throat in hopes to take her focus off you, you ask about her plans for the day.

“Oh, you know, mostly just busy work. I have a ton of paperwork to get through,” she tells you through an exaggerated sigh. “What about you?”

The list of chores screams at you again. “Mostly just some things around the house. Grocery shopping, laundry, boring shit like that.”

Natasha hums around a sip of her coffee. It surprised you just how much cream and sugar she takes in hers. It’s just one of the many unpredictable things about her that made you fall in love.

“Super exciting. I hate to miss out,” she teases you.

You crack a smile to appease her. Inside, though, you realize just how little she understands. These errands seem so simple to her, when to you, they are the most daunting of tasks.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by Natasha standing up to take her plate to the sink. She comes back to kiss your cheek and let you know she’s going to go get ready, before walking out of the room.

You suspect the amount of housework you’ll get done today will be minimal, so you decide to at least make Natasha some lunch. Maybe it will lessen the disappointment she feels when she comes home to see everything exactly as it was when she left, you think.

Your plan is halted as you’re making her sandwich. The stupid cover on the peanut butter jar is stuck. You can’t open it for the life of you. The guilt comes in like a tidal wave. You can’t even do something as simple as make lunch for her, your brain supplies for you.

Natasha returns from getting ready to see you standing in the kitchen with a glare on your tired face.

“What’d the peanut butter do to you this time,” she jokes.

“I can’t.” Tears well up in your eyes.

She comes up to wrap you in a hug from behind. She softly asks, “What can’t you do?”

“I can’t open the jar,” you mutter softly, feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, love. Let me help,” she tells you delicately before kissing the spot under your ear. She can tell this is affecting you more than usual and wishes for nothing more than to be able to take away your distress.

You mutter a thank you before continuing to make her sandwich. You pack everything into a bag and write a small note to finish it off. You know Natasha loves the little messages you leave her periodically, and nothing will stop you from trying to make her as happy as you can.

Goodbyes are said as you both wander closer to the door. Natasha makes sure to hold you longer and tighter than usual. You don’t comment on that.

The silence that encompasses the room as soon as the love of your life leaves is suffocating. You can feel the exhaustion from purely getting up and getting ready creeping up on you. Logically, you know that you shouldn’t overexert yourself, but the shame is eating you up. Already on a roll, might as well keep on going, you think to yourself.

You go back to your mental to-do list and debate what to start with. The grocery store doesn’t sound terrible. Some sun would do you some good. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen the world that exists outside of your house.

Wandering back to the bedroom to get your phone and shoes, you try to push the fatigue from your mind. In your attempt to block out the tiredness, you fail to recognize the ever-present pain in your joints increasing. It’s only when you sit down and bend over to put your shoes on that you register the feeling. Your hips ache severely; so much so, that you can’t hold your position long enough to get your shoe on your foot.

This seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, seeing as you immediately burst into tears. The pain mixed with your inability to do basic, everyday activities completely overwhelms you as you break down.

There’s absolutely no chance that you’re going to complete this task, let alone all the other ones on your list. You let out a sigh as you stand up and shuffle to your room, phone and shoes forgotten in the living room.

You let the weight of your emotions crush you as you climb into bed and under the covers, your wife’s pillow clutched closely to your chest.

Your tears cease to stop, even as you succumb to the sleep you so desperately wished to hold onto this morning.

- - -

Natasha comes home to an eerily silent house. On any typical day, she would come home to the noise of your favorite show or music softly playing, whether it be from a speaker or from your guitar. Your shared house consistently was filled with life and sound. It was one of her favorite parts of her day; coming home to you in your own element, laughing or singing. You are her home.

This newfound silence has her exceptionally worried. Even on your bad days, there was at least a laugh track coming from the TV or the smell of hot chocolate coming from the kitchen. Now, there’s absolutely nothing. For a split second, Natasha thinks that you may never have come back from the grocery. Her heart rate spikes. The sight of your phone on the coffee table and your shoes strewn haphazardly on the floor puts those worries to rest.

“Darling?” she calls from the entryway. There is no response. She carefully removes her boots and coat before moving through every room in the house, calling out for you softly in each.

She makes her way to the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door as she lets herself in. She sees the rise and fall of your chest and is filled with a sense of relief she didn't know she needed.

"Love? Are you awake?"

You grumble out an answer that could be understood as a 'yes'.

Natasha carefully sits down on the side of the bed that you are facing.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" she requests softly, in fear of upsetting the quiet environment of the bedroom and making things worse.

The tears that started up again when you wife called out the first time get even heavier somehow.

"Oh love, come here."

She carefully gathers you in her arms and rests your head on her chest.

"Does this have anything to do with the peanut butter jar this morning?"

You nod. One of your favorite things about your wife is her ability to observe and understand what you're going through.

"I just can't do anything today. Everything hurts and I'm so, so tired," you whisper, followed by a heartbreaking sob.

"It's okay love. Please don't cry," Natasha whispers back.

"But it's not! It's not okay!" You sit up from her chest to let out your rant. "You've done so much today and I could barely wake up. You work so hard and I should be able to do stuff around the house so you can come home and not have to worry about anything," you finish with a sigh.

Your wife puts her hand under your chin, forcing you to look in her direction. "Love, look at me. Believe me when I say that I don't care about the state of the laundry or if the pantry has been stocked. All I care about is you. All I want is for you to be okay. It's killing me that you feel like this and I can't do anything to take it away from you. What I can do, though, is tell you just how proud I am of you. You are the strongest person I know, and I work with the Avengers."

You giggled at that. Natasha smiles at your small second of happiness.

"Are you sure? Because I was going to get so much done today and I was trying to-"

Natasha cuts you off with a soft kiss.

"My love. Listen to me. All I care about is your health and happiness. If staying in bed and catching up on sleep is what you needed today, then that's all I expect from you. I never want you to hurt yourself trying to do more than you can. We all have limits. It’s okay to need a break some days. I love you and I am so very, very proud of you."

With a long look into her eyes, all you find is love and adoration directed towards you. There's no disgust or disappointment as you had anticipated.

"I love you too," you utter quietly.

Natasha smiles and leaves a long kiss on your forehead. "What if we got some pain killers and some food in you? We can even put on your favorite movie. Does that sound good?"

You nod. Natasha gets up to get you some medicine and to order some food, while you get your favorite movie loaded on the TV.

Later that night, when both your stomachs are full and your wife is obnoxiously singing along to the songs in the movie just to make you laugh, you realize just how loved you are.

You don't know how tomorrow will treat you, or the day after that. What you do know, however, is that Natasha will always be there to support and love you. Your pain level and ability to function is always an uncertainty, but your wife's love will never be.

- - -

A/N: as always, i try to keep it gender neutral. if you find a mistake, please let me know! feedback is appreciated! to all my chronic illness buddies out there: i love you, you've got this :)

taglist: @007giu

[athys-obelia]

summary: no one's evil au lmfaooo but make it pt. 2

character/s: anastacius de alger obelia, claude de alger obelia, athanasia de alger obelia, jennette de alger obelia

and here's part 1 <3

oh my god okay. okay. so.

ana, claude, athy and jennette - they go on a LOT of vacations

claude complains every single time but anastacius pulls his trump card and sends athy and jettie BOTH after him

u think he's strong enough to say no after that? lmao jokes

and their vacations always go this way:

jennette: isn't this scenery just gorgeous, uncle

claude: indeed it is. and...quiet

jennette: ...too quiet

[cut to anastacius in the distance, fighting a bear as athy cheers him on]

athy + anastacius, hands down the most chaotic pairing yes i will not be taking criticism

they have tea in ana's palace everyday, just the two of them, they're so poised and picture perfect through the entire thing everyone thinks it's just the emperor giving profound advice to his heir

it's actually them deadass scheming,,, ana has no qualms discussing everything from court gossip to military tactics, both of which she's so on top of all the time

if anyone shit talks jennette or claude, this tea party is where their slow and agonizing demise is planned out to the dot

[true story - count sivan once made the fatal mistake of expressing his favour for athy as the next empress, dissing jennette by comparing her to athy sm which inevitably sparked a debate that ranked the princesses. a week after athy's sources informed her of the kindling behind this new debate, the count's sudden divorce became the talk of the town, and the man's business faced bankruptcy all of a sudden. the sivans still haven't recovered.)

athy n jennette were actually allowed to visit kiel in arlanta a few times, except it was too dark at their first arrival, postponing the meeting to the next morning

buttt then jettie can't sleep and she decides on a midnight snack run (their hotel doesn't really have the maids the palace does, but oh well. she's left the palace w lucas n athy plenty of times)

felix tags along btw, he knows this trip is important to the girls since they're leaving the palace without their Overprotective Papas™ for the first time and want some sense of independence, but... she's just so smol n he couldn't bear it if anything happens so he just shadows her

she totally knows he's there

n e ways so there's a juice place right beside their hotel which she aims for, but when jennette reaches it, it's closed

and out of nowhere, a voice addresses her - "hey you, do you come here a lot?" she nearly jumps out of her skin at the brunette, relaxing when she sees he's literally a kid around her age and not a murderer lmfaoo "me neither," he continues without waiting for her, pouting at the closed sign, before he asks for her name and whether she's new in arlanta

she confirms that yes, she's only visiting, and refuses to tell the stranger her name, still feeling strange at being addressed as 'you' for the first time (well, minus lucas, but he was like her brother and had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, so)

he eyes her. "you're so weird. i've never seen a girl out so late before, and alone too. are you stupid?"

(felix has his sword out at this point)

she's flushing now and has no idea why she's still out here, but then this stranger kid apparently senses her mood and tells her the best ice cream store in arlanta is not too far away

(he also explains he knows someone who's starts doing weird things when she's hungry as well, and tries to defend that ice cream is actually a healthy midnight snack, "you can just take a healthy flavour like strawberry or mango, mangos are healthy,,right"💀️💀)

so jettie has travelled all the way from obelia, she loves her papa but he would have a heart attack if he found out she was ever awake this late?? yeah bc she's never getting this chance again, jennette accepts the offer

the stranger boy seems to be taking the whole "i'm not telling you my name," thing like a joke, and asks what he should call her since 'you' was getting boring

she goes with "lady j" and like a knight, the boy becomes "sir c"

(felix is on the verge of committing a crime - the princesses can only have one knight, after all)

they walk as the the boy navigates the streets in the dark, and she asks whether he's from the academy, seeing his uniform

"of course i am! you could probably tell bc i look so smart, right?"

she snorts. "yeah, that."

she also comes to know that this guy,,,well he might as well be a tourist? she's out here asking stuff like "oh where's the statue of lady alphia?" or "aren't we really close to the museum where they keep the first emperor's sword?" and he goes "lady do i look like your brochure?? but if you turn right from here there's a cool arcade and across the street from there is the best street food vendor you'll ever eat from."

well at least mans had his priorities straight 😌

"so can you take this off?" he asks, pointing towards her dress once they've neared the store

um???????? sir tf????????????

anyways jettie has been living with lucas n her dad farr too long to not take this the wrong way?? "...no?"

the boy raises an eyebrow "look, it looks like an expensive cloak but i promise i'll return it, alright? i gotta hide my uniform."

ohhhhhhh. 😳.

so she unfastens the cloak and because he's kinda just staring at it cluelessly (he can't even tie his shoelaces fight me), jennette sighs and moves the clothing over his shoulder, fastening it in place at his neck

he's literally a tomato when she looks back up and realises that yes, we are way too close rn

bc she's ana's daughter, jennette by default cannot function when she's flustered. so she kinda stumbles backwards like a fish out of water (years of princess training n etiquette? where art thou??) and 'sir c' has to grab her forearm so she doesn't bump into the pillar behind her smfh

the shopkeep is definitely suspicious of this pair that's definitely too young to be out so late, but chalks it down to his sleeplessness

they escape the store with the ice cream before the shopkeep can ask any questions, and 'sir c' escorts jennette back to her hotel. he climbs onto the roof of the building, helping her up as well

(felix wishes he had a magic stone to capture this moment, this is the first time he's seen jennette become such fast friends with someone)

she stands on the roof (it hurts her butt so she doesn't wanna sit)

"my sister would be so jealous right now," jennette murmurs, "she told me her ideal first date would be either a picnic or something like a moonlit walk. we're having like a moonlit picnic."

it's silent for a few seconds the boy speaks up, "is this a date?"

oh-

oh.

"i mean- i didn't- i don't- uh."

give her some time lmfao she's loading

"i don't really mind that," he tells her, and she thinks she might just walk off the roof in her embarrassment - who just says something like that?? "you're probably feeling really lucky right now, right?"

jennette: ✊😔

he does look pretty in the moonlight, she admits to herself, listening as he excitedly tells her about his siblings at home and how she should send an offering to the gods since they gave her the good fortune to be on a date with the most good looking one of all four of them

in turn, she tells him about how she spent her childhood away from her amazing dad and had gotten closer to him recently, about her sharp-witted uncle, her sister and friends

(the 'friends' section includes felix and he's melting)

she smiles - it's almost as if, at finding out he treasures his family just as much as she does, they've gotten a bit closer

and he tries to listen. jennette had guessed that his temperament was somewhat like her dad's - her dad didn't know how to listen, always making his opinion known before anything else, though she supposes as emperor he could do that

'sir c', on the other hand, tried his best, his blue eyes focused on her as he almost burst from the unsaid words he was holding back, trying to let her finish. the sight was an odd mix of sad and insanely adorable that she couldn't help but let him tell her about everything he couldn't hold in

sensing she could pass out from her exhaustion nearly half an hour later, and 'sir c' escorts her to her window and helps her sneak in bc "what sort of knight would i be otherwise?!"

(felix can't stop shaking the entire night)

the next morning, jennette's heart is pounding as kiel shows her, athy and felix across campus - the chance is low, but still...

"ezekiel!" comes a voice, and the four watch as a turquoise haired boy waves down the alpheus heir "are these the guests you mentioned?"

kiel introduces the trio to johannes vastia before asking, "where's cabel?"

"at the training grounds, he asked if you could bring everyone there so he could show them around there."

"... they're my guests though?"

athy is quick to befriend johannes (i mean she and his sister are practically the same person, so) and at the grounds, jennette's blood runs cold

(so does felix's)

the brunette doesn't notice her at first, arguing with johannes about something as kiel introduces him as cabel ernst

jennette is hyperventilating?? actually back up is this girl even breathing??

cabel ernst from kiel's letters? the 'loud and obnoxious cabel ernst', who gradually turned into 'my acquaintance cabel ernst', then 'hardworking, passionate cabel ernst', and finally 'my friend cabel'?

she'd actually rather admired this slow build of respect between her friend and the ernst boy, and had even expressed her interest to meet him

"this is the first daughter of his highness prince claude de alger obelia, princess athanasia-" cabel mock salutes the princess before his mouth forms an 'o' and he remembers to bow, "-and here's the emperor's only daughter, her highness princess je-"

andddd his eyes widen comically "-hey, lady, it's you?"

yeah jettie is on the brink of literal death - her entire face reddens as this...cabel, grins at her

she watches as he glances behind her, "and you're the guy who was following us - sup?"

felix flinches "...you knew...?"

cabel shrugs. "i mean you do kinda suck ass at the whole subtle thing."

"don't say it like that," jennette retorts, "felix was trying his best."

"princess 😭😭 you knew as well?"

"uhhhh no?"

athy + kiel in a corner: 👁️👄👁️

they watch as cabel's eyes widen all of a sudden and he just,,,runs away

...🐦...🐦...🐦...

yeah well anyway he comes rushing back a few minutes later, a piece of cloth in his hand "...*huff* here *huff*...you go."

athy totally flips out "jennette is that your CLOAK???!??"

"uhhhhh no?"

"um do you realise uncle would literally wage war at this."

and as if it would make everything better,

"i washed it," cabel offers with a grin

"you didn't," the vastia heir deadpans

"i mean, johan helped a little bit."

kiel smiles murderously at the pair. "johan, did you know cabel took the princess out?"

"wait, you're a PRINCESS??"

your honour they aren't very smart

so the group orders some coffee (milk for cabel smfh) to find out what happened, cabel mentions "date" and everything goes to shit again lmfao

kiel and felix scheme against poor cabel while athy n johan get over that stage pretty quick ("listen. MY sister will be living with ME after the marriage and if your friend wants to be with her he'll have to come with us to obelia." and johan's just like "fine by me ✌️😊") and start planning the wedding

cabel + jennette dip n sneak out of the academy again to get the juice they couldn't the night before bc shit is getting awkward here

on another note, our uncle cius' musical intelligence is actually very high - he can probably play more instruments than i can name tbh, but he feels most comfortable singing and i shit you not, this man has straight up an angel's voice

(didn't like singing in front of others coz he was secretly a nerd and only knew old love songs with deep lyrics, athy found out and educated him)

jennette tends to have nightmares often, most often regarding their family - she's seen her father murder her uncle for the throne, and vice versa, athy admitting her affections towards jennette were a front to get the position of crown princess, her uncle killing her to solidify athy's claim, etc - her family is her everything, so despite however many times these horrible scenes play before her, she's left sobbing uncontrollably

and on these nights, she leaves for her father's room, who holds her close and sings her to sleep

also lucas n jennette are like sibling duo# 1,,, jettie is an active lucathy shipper even though he denies it sm - like their dynamic is just peaceful walks in the gardens as she watches the plants n lucas shi talks the nobility and kiel

claude and athy have a thing for each other's sleeping on each other? idk it's weird

athy once fell asleep on the couch while reading with him, and claude moved her head onto his lap so she wouldn't be uncomfy sitting - well, she woke up to his hand absentmindedly raking through her hair and it was just so soothing that whenever she's tired and he's working or reading, she just plops her head on his lap and zzzz

and claude wondered what was up with that, so she proposed they switch roles and he felt so awkward trying to lay down in front of her lmao

obviously athy noticed and she just started reading, thinking he might be more comfortable if her attention isn't on him completely - she ended up reading out loud while playing with his collar and he just,,,passed out

also anastacius has definitely pulled jennette aside regarding the issue of his heir at some point - she had been hesitant at first before admitting she wouldn't like to be the empress at all

i know we'd all love to see empress!jettie and her sister duchess!athy ruling the court, but i really really really can't see her wanting the title?

so thus start athy's empress lessons, but holy shit her teacher is mean

like this man makes me want to bash his face in?? so he doesn't like the idea of athy becoming empress over jennette at all, all bc of both hers and claude's mothers being commoners

he has one of those long ass sticks that you use in presentation to point at stuff?? idk but basically mans has athy name every region, its lords and their vassals during their first lesson

the first time she gets one wrong, she's too shocked as the stick meets the delicate skin of her forearm to react

now the thing is, wmmap!athy would probably stand up against this bc her dad is the emperor and she's his only heir, but i imagine with anastacius' social nature he holds many parties / balls where she's probably heard claude's mom + diana slander and it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to be self conscious abt it (now she's the emperor's heir while jennette, 100% royal + noble blood, is right there which probably makes her feel even less legitimate)

so she endures it, the light marks on her arms as well as the taunts of his she's too smart to not understand - perhaps this is the price to be accepted in jennette's place?

and honestly, no one really notices until at breakfast a few weeks in, where jennette mentions how her dresses are still so modest when sleeveless dresses were more in fashion - ana is suspicious because athy is always on top of these things, societal trends and such, and claude is sus from the way she hesitates slightly in her answer, "i haven't had the time lately, i suppose"

the lesson after focuses on ettiquete since everyone knows she's good at politics and such already, but now tears of frustration are pooling in her eyes because what the hell?? this guy had made an opinion of her long before he even met her, so anything she did would be wrong in his eyes

he gives her a sinister smile, "tired, princess?"

"no," she insists, keeping her voice level. he's about to spout some other nonsense, when anastacius enters the room, taking a seat across from her

anastacius watches quietly as athy answers the teacher's questions in her "public" voice. he watches as her usually cheery disposition is replaced by something far more...dead, despite the front she puts on for him. he's soundless as she hesitates in her answers where she normally would've been louder, more confident. he stops watching in silence when his niece flinches at the sight of the stick

oh.

he interrupts her lesson, not missing the way she winces almost imperceptibly when he grabs ahold of her arm, announcing, "we're going."

he just- it's just that that was the moment he knew for sure - the sight of his niece emotionally disheveled for the first time reminds him too much of how his own brother had once been, and he'd... he'd promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt his family anymore

he ends up taking her to the port with some of his advisors to welcome some royal guests, insisting that she would learn better from experience rather than books - but the guest delegation gets so boring that he sneaks her out of the meeting n they end up in the streets

now athy has no idea where they are, but apparently her uncle does?? ana has his hand on her head as he navigates the streets of the capitol as if he comes here everyday, using magic to casually disguise the two of them

in the meantime?

felix is at the port trying to cover for them smfh, he makes up this huge story about how the great wise emperor wanted to familiarize his heir with the locals, understand her subjects, yada yada

back at the palace prince claude is currently dragging a man by his collar and only upon jennette's insistence does he throw him in prison rather than literally kill him

(jettie visits him later in prison to give the guy a piece of her mind, after felix's visit he's sporting a few noticable bruises and the prisoner is practically unrecognizable once lucas visits)

back to athy + ana, they end up stuffing themselves with some super good street food as anastacius confesses that yes, he has definitely been sneaking out of the palace ever since he was a lil kid

athy almost mentions that she, lucas n jettie sneak out too but that might give him a heart attack, so

"it's so pretty, uncle cius," she says, gesturing towards the necklace he holds up. once he's paid for it, anastacius fists the necklace, opening it to reveal the jewel pendant - now imbued with his magic and replaced with gold lettering of the word athanasia

and she realises that yes, that's what both him and her dad have called her all her life, haven't they?

"you're my heir, athanasia," he uncle tells her with a small smile, "i am proud of that."

getting teary, she tells him, "i'm really proud of you too, uncle cius," triggering a very flustered + blushy anastacius

this mans craves validation - not from the sycophantic nobility, or the obsequious concubines he'd dismissed all those years ago, but from the family he thought he'd neither have nor deserve

and just the acknowledgement is so large for athy - he wants her as his heir, not because she's his niece, but bc he trusts her to look after his hard work after him??? - yeah she's totally bawling her eyes out

anastacius magics her a handkerchief but my mans magic isn't that strong?? lmao he's used up so much by now that the 'handkerchief' turns out to be some scratchy tissues

awkward amirite

nope! athy laughs at that, offering him a sip of her drink as she magics another straw and a proper handkerchief lmfaoo

n e ways so when they return, everyone's shocked to learn that the crown heir, princess athanasia will actually be joining the official circles as anastacius' temporary aid - he doesn't wanna entrust her to anyone but family, and decides that the best way to learn is by his side

(she's so confused bc lucas doesn't normally bat an eyelash when she wears the prettiest gowns, but he deadass can't look her in the eyes when she's in her aid uniform - it's more like a suit than it is a dress)

yes lucas women in suits >>>>>

everyone is STUNNED when at dinner, claude proposes they leave on vacation??

anastacius is just not having it?? like no, this is not my brother, and he throws a grape at claude to check if it's a clone or sum (¿¿how does that work??)

anyays so he ain't no felix, ana's aim is ass and it hits jettie instead

mans nearly gets on his knees to apologise

long story short everyone preps for vacation, but by some aCCiDeNt claude n athy end up at a different destination than jettie n ana, when she suggests returning to the palace to regroup, mans deadass sulks

"so you wouldn't like to spend this time with your father, despite barely visiting my office for weeks?"

o-oh

so at their return, the nobility starts pestering everyone that the princesses aren't independent enough, yada yada idc so to quell this annoyance, to the girls' joy, they get to move into emerald palace together, while claude and ana stay in the ruby and main palaces respectively

literally emerald palace becomes such a cool place to be in since it's the residence of the only decent people in this family, the brothers spend hours going through the requests of maids who want to be transferred

it's such a busy time because of athy joining the court and jettie starting her studies as well - naturally, since she isn't becoming empress, she'll be getting the duchy claude + athy were to be given in the beginning

speaking of futures, jettie's interest in plants and cooking has definitely branched out into herbs

claude notices her tending to a small garden during his visit to athy and even gives her a few tips (he had been studying medical since he was a kid, and picked it up again when athy was born and the empire stablised somewhat)

this soon becomes a routinely thing, and he actually starts reading up on some herbs and even orders a few for her prospering garden

after a month of her learning from books, claude proposes adding a medic as one of her teachers, and turns out his hunch was right?? she's excelling at medicine and they keep it between themselves for the time being

it doesn't last long though, bc they're on a hunting trip when ana injures his leg

and !! this girl istg, she gets to cleaning and wrapping the wound without blinking an eye, as if it's the most natural thing ever, and claude is just smirking while athy and anastacius and literally everyone else: 🌟💞✨jettie✨💞🌟

literal tears coming out of anastacius' eyes "how come my daughter is smarter than me😭💅"

claude: that's not a very high standard, brother

anastacius: ✨suddenly i'm an only child✨

behold, the people in charge of running an empire everyone 👏👏👏

even though jennette is claude's (unofficial) student and athy is her uncle's heir, they both ask their dads to the debutante

yes athy does dance with lucas, anastacius sent him an invitation even though he wasn't a noble (he's an active match maker 😌) and nobody dared question the emperor's special guest

at the end of the night, kiel gives jettie a letter from arlanta - it's an invitation to the academy during holidays, from a certain brunette

when she brings up the subject, felix lets out a squeak and literally everyone goes silent 😭😭

athy n kiel are just out here DARING him to spill them beans

but anastacius takes on look at his excited lil kid and decides that yups, she's going to get everything she wants

a/n: i literally don't know how many parts this should have lmaoo but y'all made it this far!! thanks for reading i hope you liked it<3

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 452 - I just feel like Mirai and Urne's bracelets are detrimental in fights. Like their whole outfits are but that's more obvious.

Chapter 453 - RK's here ^^

- ... And so is Juraki.

Chapter 454 - Regasus is bigger than Regis I'm pretty sure,,, child. Baby.

- M-21 did the ww wolf attack. Good for him. Rip Urne though.

- There's just something hilarious about Seira spinning Death Scythe to block attacks. Makes me envision kids spinning pencils and pens.

Chapter 455 - Glowy eyes!

- ...I have so many questions about Mirai being severed in half. Like what body part has to be intact for regeneration to occur? Which gland or organ is sending out the necessary signals? That's just the basics because I've got a lot more. Also funnily enough, despite all the severing and regrowing, Noblesse isn't particularly gory. No pools of blood or viscera. Everything just disintegrates lmao.

Chapter 456 - On a deeper level I don't think Lunark and M-21 will ever be compatible until Lunark gets over thinking of humans as inferior but I think they'd make a cute couple. I like them helping each other. Also very cute imagining her training him.

Chapter 457 - Ye Ran has a teacher with a mohawk sjjsskks

- 2/3 female teachers out of 12 though. Very unrealistic considering over 50% of secondary school teachers are female in South Korea, be it in 2010 or now.

- Takeo trying to stop Tao from digging their hole deeper jajaksk. Like yeah do not tell Frankenstein all the details of what you did bro.

- Lunark hitting M-21 with a rock ajksksoso. Mood. Don't tease her.

- Mirai is completely naked 😶 But also wow. Wws can grow hair even on their palms and the soles of their feet? Very interesting.

- Nooooo not the clan leaders + Raskreia and Raizel posing. Screaming crying laughing rn.

Chapter 458 - I like how even Raskreia gets a flyer to be part of the RK 😆 See her cape billowing magnificently as she reads it.

- Kentas, Lunark 🤝 Raizel, Raskreia

Looking like they're related

- Okay this time she's genuinely blushing because she's embarrassed they haven't found Rozaria yet imo.

- Meanwhile poor Rozaria is completely lost as she seeks out Raskreia. They're dating <3 Also hc that Blood Witch is just chattering endlessly (not with actual words since soul weapon) by doing the equivalent of "a squirrel! Omg it ran up a tree! Ooo is that a xxx tree? Can I touch it please touch it how does it feel" etc.

Chapter 459 - Will forever take this to mean Garda's the strongest ww when she's sane and in control. She's just not dumb enough to want to be lord.

- Also Maduke... this is 100% your fault, not Muzaka's. You orchestrated wars, Ashleen's death, and even attempted Muzaka's to become lord instead of doing it the correct way which is winning in a one-on-one duel against him. If you're too weak to win then you can't be lord, end of story. You have no proper claim over the position, so Garda has every right to be hostile to you and to refuse to listen to your orders.

- It is interesting that Muzaka refers to Garda's peers as 'kids your age' like how old are you 😶 Ig he's probably a generation above her since he seems to be in the same gen as Maduke who looks like he's about to keel over at any second?

- ...I wonder if Muzaka ever asked Dorant when he's gonna get a partner since I'm pretty sure he and Garda are the same gen or just one apart and he asked her that. I like to think yes. Man is just invested in their love lives. Or more accurately, their lack of love lives. Also interesting how Erin and Garda have the same hair colour because I feel as if that could have let the two plot to raise Ashleen among wws by passing her off as theirs.

Chapter 460 - Ah yes Sadako Muzaka time.

- It is very interesting to see a fight between two ppl who're both put of their minds and not in control of themselves.

Chapter 461 - Garda meeting Frankenstein flashbacks and going to Lukedonia flashbacks. Garda debating whether she should say hi to Raizel because he's Muzaka's friend 🥺 That's so cute I love her.

- No none of this is your fault Raizel :/ Yeah you were a very shitty friend to the traitors and that's on you but that's not an excuse for them to plot with Maduke and set up a death match between you and Muzaka. Literally 0 fault lies with you. Let Raskreia deal with this.

[loveau]

enemies-to-lovers!hendery

request: Could I request an angsty enemies to lovers AU with Hendery or Ten? Thank you so much for posting your writing

others: lucas | yuta | renjun | jisung

it all started probably at some university party where a mutual friend or a friend of a friend introduced everyone in a group

since there were so many people, there wasn’t a lot of interaction to go on

but what you did know was that the dude named hendery???

yeah the most obnoxious person you’d ever met

and he thought you were the most judgmental person he’d ever met

to be fair his rowdiness comes with the friends he has nearby you’re bound to be the same way with yours

but it just seemed like he was so over the top and loud and it was annoying how you couldn’t have a conversation with your friends when he was literally screaming across the room

at the same time, however, hendery isn’t appreciative of your dramatic groans and eye rolls whenever he does anything and he feels so restricted from basically getting to have fun

and putting the both of the together in the same room is a chemical reaction that leads to an explosion

it basically started at that party and y’all were having fun and the mingling of groups was happening where everyone was getting to know each other

y’all didn’t really interact during the party besides hanging around the general area

but that didn’t stop you from giving each other the slight stink eye, which may have started on your part when he accidentally spilled some drink on your friend’s pants

and he thought nothing of it so he assumed you were just a stick in the mud and thought it was dumb you were there to cramp on his fun

obviously you hadn’t added each other on social media, so when hendery was doing something especially dumb you smirked and had been recording it

in all fairness it had started with you recording one of your friend’s rants about how nobody treats them right and how they deserve the perfect lover but there’s just trash people and their trash lists of who’s the best kisser or whatever

but all of a sudden your camera had switched to hendery’s group of friends where he was standing on top of a table and slipped off due to all of the snacks and drinks spilled on it

he ended up getting caught by his friends before he got hurt, but he clonked heads with one of them and was wincing while the others laughed or were more focused on whether or not he was okay

you were chuckling to yourself and captioned it ‘bet he doesn’t have any braincells if this is what keeps happening... makes sense alrdy tho 💀💀’

and you thought nothing of it until the next morning you’d woken up to a couple of messages and whatnot

you’d been debating whether or not you wanted to go to the bathroom and check later on during lunch after you spent some time to yourself but you chose to continue laying in bed and read through everything

a couple of the typical ‘what was the homework’, ‘lunch?’, and ‘did you know that this happened...’ type of things

but what caught your eye was the ‘hey, did you know that you have a bounty on your head rn?’

you were so confused because you had no clue what that was supposed to mean and typed back a simple ???

and one of your friends ten responded back pretty quickly and he was just like yeah, hendery apparently hates your guts rn so i suggest don’t run into him

you’re just like????? hUH????? who?????

he sends you a picture of himself and a whole group of others and he’s just like furthest dude on the left

you squint at your phone because wow ten you could have chosen a better picture or maybe screenshotted something huh

however once you recognize him, you’re like UH???? KnUcKLeheAD?

ten’s just like yeahh, apparently he found out about your story and has been asking everyone who you are

someone must have told him because ten sent you a screenshot of the story hendery posted that captioned your story with smth like

‘this person rlly don’t have anything better to do besides play therapist for their friends at a p a r t y :///’

you’re gaping at the message and it’s so bad you sit up from bed so fast with your phone in the tightest grip

like what??? and followed by that there’s another screenshot of another story that basically was some poll or something about whether or not you were fun or some lame-o

you were fuming at that and saw the username in the stories ten sent you and basically looked him up and found out who hendery was

your phone was practically thrown to the other side of the bed as you got ready for the day 

part of you was so confused as to who sent him the story but you were also really confused as to why he’d just project you onto his as if you’d see it (which you did soooo)

and you found yourself complaining to your friends about it like who would do that??? it was a joke anyways and plus why does he care when you barely know each other???

they’re all on your side of it too since most of them had met hendery that same night or only knew a couple of the other guys and him by extension

your food was feeling your wrath as you chewed on it and your friends tried to find a different subject to talk about

“hey, did you transfer classes like you wanted? 

you finally smile at that and give a satisfied hum to them

“yep, i finally got out of that blasted quantum mechanics class or whatever”

“why were you in that anyways?????”

you shrug and it’s just confusing to you because you were trying to get an elective course in but they decided to put you in a big science class where people with big brains and bigger egos liked to flex their knowledge and lord it over you when you didn’t understand

“doesn’t matter!! i’m in advanced hip hop dancing now! no more 8am lectures about one dimensional applications anymore”

“but you still have to wake up at 8am to walk across campus to the theatre rooms?”

“it doesn’t matter if you like what you do”

which was the best part since you took hip hop last semester and had some background in dancing before, so the instructor suggest you move to intermediate

but the worst part was the voice you heard behind you

“oh no way in-”

you whipped around and saw the shocked and irritated look on the one and only hendery

“you!” you pointed your fork accusingly at him and he has the audacity to look offended and point both hands at himself

“me???”

“yeah you! who are you to put me on blast to social media even though i’m a total stranger to you?”

“exCUSE ME?????!! the same goes to YOU!”

“tHE sAmE GoES tO YOu. it was a joke, especially by someone you barely know!!!! i didn’t want to have to see your face first thing in the morning to find out you got butthurt because you bonked your head as a kid and wanted to reenact that??”

hendery almost revolts backwards and holds a finger up

“first of all? do you think i’m happy about getting to see you first thing in the morning either??? and do you think i’d be happy seeing you at 8am every other day?”

you quickly put two and two together and you’re clenching your teeth

“you don’t mean-”

“yeah, see you in advanced hip hop, lame-o”

you (and practically the entire lunch room alkfnskfn) are left in shock as hendery takes his leave without even ordering food

you sit there in shock and think all of a sudden you might not like hip hop anymore

and you’re complaining about it to ten as he sits across from you at dinner, a couple hours after your lunch and having enough time to sit on it

“i should have taken modern dancing with you........ or maybe even ballet 3 with sicheng?”

ten only laughs and you scowl as he attempts to keep his snickers quiet

“you wouldn’t have lasted more than two days. you’d be itching to get your feet moving faster than they can get their toes pointed”

you roll your eyes because he’s right. one of the best parts of dancing hip hop was that you felt you could lose control of yourself in a more reckless way than the other styles of dancing could

“i hate it when you’re right?”

ten smiles at you and pats your shoulder from across the table

you’re just internally screaming that you have to wake up at 8am to see hendery’s dumb face again

“why is it because i’m right so often?”

“no, because i tend to owe you money because i lost the bet”

he snickers and then offers his student id to you

you take it questioningly and he pats the hand that has the id in it

“take it out at the dance studio. they’ve closed it from regular students after 9 since someone decided it’d be funny to steal one of the mirrors”

you roll your eyes but smile gratefully at him

“gotta love TAs with their magical access for ‘tutoring hours’”

“hey they’re actually convenient for when it doesn’t fit someone’s schedule!”

you’re already walking towards the door by the time he says that and you look back cheekily

“tell me that again when you haven’t used it for a private picnic date with someone you met on tinder!”

by the time you reach the dance studio you’re absolutely giddy and so glad you wore comfortable clothing to dinner so you didn’t have to go back to change

your giddiness changed when you already saw somebody in the studio

and as fate would have it, of course hendery had to be there, jamming out to some 80s hip hop song

before you could turn around and leave, he spun around during once of the dances and opened his mouth in shock

“there is no way-”

“save it! i’m just as shocked as you are”

he huffs and turns off the music and stands with his arms folded 

“well?”

“well what?”

he makes a face and over exaggerates your irritated one with a “wELl WhAt?!?!??!!!?!?”

you set your jaw and mimic his stance but the awaiting look in his eyes told you everything

“i’m not here to apologize if that’s what you’re thinking” you put a hand and put your other on your hip before he could say anything

at least he had enough respect to listen to your cue even though he exasperatedly threw his hands in the air and huffed loudly

“and even if i wanted to, i wasn’t so immature to go around asking everyone about who made me cry because they laughed when i decided to climb a table and almost fall because it was slippery”

“i didn’t cry” he’s got this childish tone to his voice and you know better than to instigate but the fiery look in his eyes only lights up one of your own

“i can give you a reason”

you don’t even realize you’ve stepped in the middle of the dance floor until he huffs out a laugh and meets you in the middle where you have your hands on your hips defiantly and a cocky smirk on your face

he hates it and you feel so powerful seeing him seethe

it only adds to your satisfaction that he ends the stare down by walking away rigidly

however it quickly melds into confusion when he turns the music on again, this time to a more recent song on the radio and one of the songs you were thinking of dancing to actually

he starts walking again, but in circles around you

he adds a spin here and there and a little kick of the leg

“what are you, constipated?”

he takes your comment in stride and backs away again to give you the floor

“you obviously came here to dance, and if you’re all talk about it then why don’t you up me one?”

“gladly”

there’s a bite in your tone but there’s even more snap in your hips

you don’t miss the way hendery’s eyes trail up and down as you flow into another move

you smirk once he trails back up to your eyes and instead of looking caught he only smirks right back

it peeves you a little how confident he looked now and he slowly clapped once you finished up another spin

“not bad for a freestyle”

you hate how much his ego has been stoked and you hate how you absolutely know how much he absolutely seemed to live for your annoyance with him

you two circled each other for a while, none of you really knowing who started moving first and why you both continued

but it was you who stepped forward first, and he responded in kind and it would have been so off putting that you both were so close

when he chuckled at your determined gaze you could practically feel his breath against your face

you felt the anger bubbling in your core once the warmth hit your cheeks

but a closer look at his eyes showed you that he was definitely affected by your snappiness with him and the irritation was practically pooling in his irises 

“you know, for someone who’s in advanced hip hop you sure don’t seem good at motor functions. you could barely stand at that party”

“you know, having fun tends to have that effect. but you wouldn’t know. nobody does anything with you besides stand against a wall and try to talk over the music. there’s a reason why the lyrics are the only words you’re supposed to be hearing”

normally you’d bite your tongue and walk away or tell him he’s being the immature one once again, but those words were dumb and it mad you livid

“funny, for someone who claims to move so well yet you haven’t really shown me anything”

in a flurry of motion, hendery has grabbed your arm and spun you around so that you fall hard into his chest

you can hear a huff of effort from him as he twirls you out again and then back into him but with his hand at your waist

his cocky grin makes you almost growl at him, but you were too shocked to say anything

“cat got your tongue?”

he releases you and then dusts himself off

“you know when you want to act up.......”

he gets in your face and the cockiness as dissolved into the pure annoyance that you are already familiar with from feeling it yourself

“make sure you’re not just all talk.” he turns and grabs all his stuff, but he waves over his shoulder before he leaves “see you in class”

and oooooOOOOOH do you see him in class the next morning

the instructor has greeted you since you transferred in the class two weeks in 

they were glad you decided to come in even though the class was already working on some dances and it would take a couple classes to see where you were at since it’d been a while and also with a different instructor

so..................

“hi, i’m hendery. i’m the student instructor/TA, i’ll bring you up to speed”

and GOSH did you feel so angry for waking up at 6am to have breakfast and having to walk across campus in the cold morning air just to figure out you’d have to work 1:1 with hendery for a couple of classes

and he wasn’t too happy about it either

mainly because he had some of your friends on his tail for blasting you on social media and all of a sudden it was talk of the two friend groups and even in some other circles

but while he was getting told off for being immature about it and even about being teased about his clumsiness and somewhat recklessness (which got old real fast)

you were also getting constantly teased by your “boringness” but also some people had the audacity to actually stop inviting you to some things because they thought so

little did you know hendery was sort of in the same boat because they were afraid he’d break something and when he heard that boy did he really want to

and both of your indirect interactions with each other in that method only fueled the spite you had with the direct contact with each other

the next couple of classes you purposely would hit him with an arm when you had it swung out or maybe accidentally stepping on his toes

but he was also quick to make sure to “accidentally” not teach you the full dance to a song or even give you the entirely wrong song to dance to

but the instructor assumed that it was because you were logged from all the physics shenanigans so they wanted hendery to run it through with you during class

you were practically seething over a lunch with your friends about all of this and they gave you tired glances

ten was the only one who seemed unfazed, as he was the only one in the two circles with direct connections to both of you

“i just don’t understand why this keeps happening. if he just wasn’t so immature and keeps insulting me about my way of spending time with friends then i’d stop fighting back”

“but you started it”

“we didn’t know each other, ten! it was just some light jabbing” you scoff at that because it was just so annoying at this point “besides, he was so obnoxious in the first place”

ten gives you an encouraging pat on the back

you groan and say you haven’t been able to spend a good weekend of fun in a couple of weeks thanks to wary eyes or not knowing where the parties are

“didn’t know you could have fun~”

you also smack ten but his cheeky grin lets him get away with it, like it does every time

but he soon makes up for it by giving you the location and time of another party by a friend of his and that he’d be there to hang with you

by the time you got there he was already tearing it up on the dance floor after taking one too many

he was all the more excited to see you though and had jumped into your arms happily and was laughing the whole time

“hey, you made it! you won’t believe who-”

but he was whisked away before you knew it

so you left to get something to drink on your own

somebody you vaguely knew recognized you and started chatting with you on the way

“hey, haven’t i seen you around before?”

“yeah..... i think we took physics together?”

“oh right!!!! i remember, you transferred out right?”

you knew where this was going since they obviously wanted to sound smarter in this situation

they had been your lab partner and it totally sucked to hear them complain about having someone ‘not competent enough to do anything’ as a partner

you only nod and listen to them ramble a little more, looking for someone familiar to latch onto so you could leave this conversation

until you heard

“i didn’t know you went to parties”

“uhhhh....... what made you think that?”

they shrug and they look amused to keep making jabs at you 

“well, i heard you were kind of a stick in the mud. not to mention you don’t really do much at parties, so i figured it wasn’t your scene”

“what? excuse me??”

“oh. well i thought since you were a little slow in class then you wouldn’t be doing anything besides standing around. the dorm’s more your place, yeah?”

before you can go off on the dude, the person’s shoved against the wall and they’re not going anywhere

especially when hendery’s face is in theirs

“that’s enough, buddy. you’re a little harsh, no?”

they give out a nervous laugh and look around to see if anybody is going to come to their aid, but the others have decided to keep moving and ignore what’s going on

you on the other hand are shocked to find that hendery’s here, much more that he’s defending you in a sense

“whatT? didn’t you...... you know, start all of this?”

hendery rolls his eyes but shoves a little harder

you hate to say it, but you were feeling pretty proud of this

“first of all, they did”

“hey!”

“but second of all, you’ve been skating on thin ice ever since you thought it’d be funny to start insulting someone as your first interaction”

“that’s RICH coming from you” and the person’s right, but they’re also toeing the line reeeeeal far with agitating hendery

“oh yeah? i didn’t realize how much of a stuck up twerp i sounded like before i heard those words coming out of your mouth”

you merely watch on and hendery takes a glance out of the corner of his eye to look at you

there’s a hard glare in his eyes but they soften a bit once you come into sight

you’re................... confused????

but you also recognize the anger in his eyes since the person also began jabbing at hendery, so you were prepared for his next line

“by the way... you hungry?”

“huh?”

and hendery had raised his fist up and the person recoiled hard

but it never made contact.....

they timidly looked up to see the fist 

he scoffed and straighted out his clothes as he backed away

“yeah, don’t act though if it’s just that. an act”

he walks away from the person and heads for you

“come on, let’s get you a drink”

you just stand there as he searches around for an empty cup and fills it with water quickly before walking you outside

you didn’t need to be pulled along to follow with him

you wanted answers

by the time you’re outside you just give him an expecting look with your eyebrows raised and he seems almost frustrated to admit his thoughts

“what, cat got your tongue this time?”

he chuckles as he remembers that one instance in the dance studio together but he hums, thinking of his next words

“i mean, i’m not sure how else to phrase it”

“i can wait. i don’t do much besides not have fun anyways”

at this he hangs his head

“okay, well i do feel bad about that. i didn’t realize how harsh those words all sounded until it was being played back to me”

“it took this long to figure out why i was upset by it and not just me being a ‘stick in the mud’?“

he nods and you can see instead of irritation.... there’s sincerity in his eyes now

a.......... sudden, but also welcome change

“yeah... well! no, not really.......... i kind of thought it was childish to keep this whole fighting thing going on, so......”

“why keep it on then?”

he shrugs and looks away, almost like he was embarrassed

“i......... really, really............. really liked the fiery look in your eyes whenever we’d bicker”

you laugh at that this time

“you thought it was hot?”

he almost whines out a “kinda!” but then groans and mumbles

your mischievous look makes him throw his hands up and he’s frustrated again but this time there’s a civil air between you two.... almost...... flirtatious

“yes! i thought it was attractive most of the way through... but even when you’re not mad..... you’re still pretty cute”

you find yourself blushing even though you’re practically glowing in amusement, but then you find yourself turning practically red when he defends himself with an almost equally red face

“and don’t lie!! i know you think i’m attractive too. i saw the way you were eyeing me when i was telling that person off. i was all macho man and you were swooning!”

“i was not!”

“i literally said don’t lie, didn’t i!”

and you keep throwing bickering comments back and forth, but it’s amusing and you both...... like it

after a while there’s a silence in between you before you make a light jab at hendery.... only this time it’s in a soft teasing kind of way

one that the both of you can stand and put smiles on your faces instead

“so you weren’t too chicken to actually land the hit?”

“shut up, i’ll fight if i have to”

“aww, even for me?”

and he’s silent at that but there’s a slight tint of pink you can make out from the lights outside

he purses his lips and decides now is the time to make the move to patch things between you two

“i still think there’s apologies left to be said”

“from both of us?”

“..... yeah”

and you hate to admit that you’ve also been super immature about it, but you’re pretty glad that it’s getting moved past now

but it was so awkward to just do this so suddenly

he notices the tension in between you and decides to make the first move

“okay........ let’s just start over..... hi, i’m hendery. i’ve seen you before. i’m the TA of your advanced hip hop class, right?”

“right! i think i can recall you staring at my butt a couple of times”

“shut up!!” he pushes you slightly but his grin tells you he’s not that shy to admit it and he’s goofing around now “besides...... can’t lie you’re kinda cute though”

and suddenly there’s a crash behind the two of you and you see ten bounding his way for you

“i cannOT believe it, wow! the two of you together and not ripping each other apart. BUT I knEW this would happen”

and you just look at each other like ?????????? huh?????

“that you would look so cUtE together!!!!! everything turned out juuuust right, like i thought it would since the beginning”

and all of a sudden you both made ten explain everything to the both of you

because ten had shared the initial stories to the other person, not thinking it’d go down like this

but most of it was forgiven since you were more distracted by hendery leaning against the railing and having that as an excuse to wrap his arm around you

and you were practically leaning into his side since it was ‘too cold outside’ while you were listening to ten ramble on and on about how his plan ended up being messy but he was living for it

while the both of you gave him an earful about how setting the two of you up could have been done where you didn’t hurt each other’s feelings for so long, he shut you up quickly with a

“oh please, you two bickered like an old married couple. with the way you guys act just get married already! some of those sparks weren’t just angry, there was some love in there too!”

“ten!”

“and do NOT get me started on the sexual tension-”

“TEN!”

[jo2ukes]

Hello! I’m hildahilda from tumblr and I saw you taking prompt requests for 50 ways to love your partner (which has become one of my fave dmileth fics). May I suggest... Dimitri and Byleth debating/arguing over political concerns or having long horse rides together? Just getting these ideas from their paired ending lol. Thank you!

HELLO LOVELY!!! Aaa your comments are always so sweet i always look forward to reading what you have to say slkdfjslkd  thank u for requesting smth ilysm~

I’m SO SORRY this took so long - I’ve been working on it off and on, but I slacked off too much at work last week so things kind of blew up and I’ve been living off of energy drinks. THAT BEING SAID, this is for YOU!!! I’m gonna upload to ao3 later as well, just not rn bc I’m at work lol :-)

spoilers for like. post game and blue lions stuff, though i tried to be pretty vague!

It was never typical for diplomatic meetings to go smoothly. Not that Dimitri is naïve enough to expect them to be easy. Even in times of peace, there are always areas for improvement. Dissatisfactions to be addressed. Relationships to maintain. Something about having his work cut out for him makes these meetings easier – though solving the issues are certainly more time consuming. Uniting Fódlan has been no small undertaking and he is grateful for all the assistance he receives from his friends. He is painfully aware that destruction is his forte – his hands and mind have only recently been converted to the goal of healing and restoration. To lead, you have to be able to both destroy and create, Byleth has told him. She’s right. United Fódlan and the relative peace they have now wouldn’t exist had he not destroyed Edelgarde and her dissenting Imperial forces. While the beast in him once relished in the idea of putting an end to El’s machinations, taking her life was one of the most painful trials he’s had to endure. The perspective motivates him. Encourages him to listen to his people and create a world where no destruction is needed, where no one is unjustly taken.

 He constantly reminds himself of this goal. It makes the sleepless nights worth it.

 The current roundtable has gone on for hours at least – Ferdinand, Lorenz, Byleth, Seteth and a handful of other nobles – mostly from former Faerghus territories – are in attendance. Unofficially, Ferdinand speaks for nobles of former Imperial territories, while Lorenz speaks for former Alliance territories. They’ve been instrumental in the restructuring efforts. While the three of them were not particularly close before, Dimitri counts them among his close friends now.

 “I hate to mention it on top of everything else,” Ferdinand bites his lip, “but there’s one last item I feel needs to be addressed before we adjourn. We’ve had trouble with the Western Church in the Aegir territory. We’ve repelled a few initial attacks. At first we thought it was bandits, but… well, we’ve confirmed the worst. Normally, my pride would never allow asking for assistance, but with our resources and attention spread out as it is, namely correcting my father’s corruption, I’m not sure this is a matter I can handle solely on my own. I don’t want to cause any more chaos in my territory than need be.”

 “You are correct to bring it up,” Dimitri says, furrowing his brow. “Aegir territory is a long way to go to cause trouble.”

 “If the Western Church is mobilizing again, it will certainly affect the trade routes we’ve established,” Lorenz observes. “The few merchants that can afford to travel certainly can’t afford losses to their inventory or company. Our trade routes are the most vulnerable. As former Imperial lands are in the most chaos, what with the complete restructuring needed post-war., it makes sense the Western Church, whatever their goals may be, would seek to cause disruptions there. If we truly seek to provide aid and maintain good relations with the nobles in the south, surely this conflict requires more attention. Wouldn’t you agree?” He looks back at Ferdinand.

 “Respectfully, yes,” Ferdinand nods solemnly. “Though, I understand the Central and Western Churches have their summit planned later this month, which surely makes matters precarious.”

 Eyes turn to Byleth and Seteth.

 “You are correct,” Seteth nods, addressing the nobles. “We are aware certain sects of the Western Church are mobilizing, though we had not heard of any activity in the Aegir territory. You can trust the matter will be dealt with. Her Grace has asked that I lead a fraction of the Knights of Seiros to investigate these disturbances while she attends the summit later this month. Ashe wrote to us several weeks ago, disclosing Western Church movements in the Gaspard territory once again. Since then, we’ve been keeping a watchful eye.”

 “How watchful, if they are mobilizing in areas you are not aware of?” Lorenz asks. “Your Grace, your Highness, I know the Church is quite busy with restructuring efforts, but perhaps it would be wise to focus more resources in this area.” He taps his upper lip thoughtfully. “Perhaps if we sent forces that were not affiliated with the Church it wouldn’t complicate things at the summit. The Western Church can feel safe in trusting the Central Church, and the people can feel safe that something is being done about these attacks.”

 “I agree,” Dimitri hums after a beat. “Very well. Seteth, I want you to take some of Fhirdiad’s knights with you. As things are a little more stable in the capital than anywhere else, it is less of a burden on our resources. Ingrid and her company should be available, I believe. I’ll send word they’re to accompany you back to the monastery. I’ll want to be kept in the loop, of course.”

 “With all due respect, your Majesty,” Byleth says, clearing her throat, and breaking her silence, “this is a Church affair. While I appreciate your offer for assistance, we must decline.”

 “On the contrary,” Dimitri shakes his head, “It stopped being a Church affair when it started threatening to plunge all of United Fódlan into another war, your Grace. These are not random attacks, they seem rather targeted.”

 “The Western Church simply does not have the resources or manpower to launch a full-scale war,” she shakes her head. “I do not believe that is their intention this time. They’re recovering just the same as the rest of Fódlan. If you’ll remember, the last time the Western Church created conflicts, there was a larger power at play. As relations with the Western Church are already delicate at best, I’d ask that you let us investigate internally first, at least until the summit has concluded. A month’s time, that’s all I’m asking.”

 “It is not that I distrust your ability to manage your own, I simply wish to prevent further harm to the already suffering villages.”

 “I understand your concern, your Highness. My wishes are the same,” she straightens her back, looking him square in the eye. She looks truly regal and imposing. For a moment Dimitri thinks it’s a shame the others get to observe her in her authoritative splendor, that it’s not a look only he can witness. But the thought only lasts a moment – he’s more than familiar with that determined glint in her eye. He’s in for a fight.

 “However,” she continues, “I cannot hope to restore faith in the Church if we are constantly shown to be unable to handle our own. Say what you will, but Edelgarde’s war has damaged the Church’s reputation, strengthened seeds of distrust. Whether that distrust was well-placed or not is of no consequence. The reputation of the Church must be restored. Through transparency, through rooting out corruption and self-serving officials, so be it, but it must be handled by the Church. We’ve only just concluded a war built on that same distrust – what message would it send if the King had to step in? How would that offer any reassurance to the people that things are different?”

 “You suggest, then, that the people will be more willing to accept the Church should be allowed to continue to govern its own?” he asks, folding his arms.

 “I’m suggesting we be given a chance to prove ourselves. If the leaders cannot trust the Church, the people cannot hope to hold the same faith.”

 “It is a risk,” Ferdinand interjects, “but I believe Her Grace has a point. Restoring faith in the Church should be a priority, and that task begins with our actions here.”

 Lorenz and Seteth both begin to speak, but whatever they start to say is lost to Dimitri and he focuses on his wife’s voice, rising above the others. When she and Dimitri disagree on topics, the others in the room cease to exist to the two of them. While they do not always agree, he trusts her above all else. He respects and values her opinion, as she has led him down the right path time and time again.

 “Rather than bandaging a severed limb,” Byleth continues, “We should treat the root of the problem. I believe this is not the Western Church, but some unnamed force. Without revealing too much of my own hand, I have reason to believe Edelgarde’s… unsavory allies may have resurfaced.”

 “Is this truly information that should be held by the Church alone?”

 “For the time being, yes,” Byleth nods. “As you said, we do not want to cause further damage to those that are already suffering. Mobilizing too early may do just that. Again, a month is all I ask.”

 “If Ingrid and her company were instead mobilized to the Aegir territory to assist in repelling potential attacks in the meantime, would that be sufficient?” Dimitri asks. It’s more of a thought than a command. He’s willing to let Byleth win this round as he can’t begin to fathom some of the complications that come with running the Church. He takes an interest, supporting her how he can. In private, she tells him of her duties and concerns – an odd topic of conversation for pillow talk, but he likes that she trusts him with some of her burdens and worries, as she’s helped him shoulder his own for so long.

 His main goal is to protect the people. Byleth has always been better at keeping her attention toward the future, while his attention is usually focused on the short term. Perhaps it’s one of the reasons their compromises work so well. Sending troops to assist Ferdinand would fulfill his intention of keeping the villagers safe, at least until the end of the summit. Not to mention, the increase in feelings of unity.

“I have no qualms with that solution,” Byleth says, a smile forming at the corners of her mouth.

 “We would be grateful for your assistance,” Ferdinand addresses Dimitri, giving a slight bow of his head. “I’m humbled, your Majesty.”

 “It’s settled then. I will pass word along to Ingrid,” he scribbles a note for himself. “In the meantime, perhaps we should adjourn for the evening?”

 A collective sigh of relief seems to spread throughout the hall. The various lords stand, bowing to Dimitri before exiting, ready to rest and enjoy the few hours of downtime they have before meetings resume again the next morning, servants coming to escort them to their various rooms. Ferdinand and Lorenz excuse themselves as well, familiar enough with the castle they feel comfortable roaming the halls without guidance.

 Once the room is empty, Dimitri turns to his wife who stands behind him.

 “I thought that went rather well,” he says, offering his hand. She takes it. “Though the Archbishop seems quite determined to give me a hard time,” he jokes. She squeezes his hand gently.

 “You’ll have to forgive her, your Majesty. I hear she’s rather stubborn,” she smiles up at him before standing on her tiptoes and placing a kiss on his cheek.

 “If that is official guidance from my Queen, I suppose I shall take it under advisement,” he laughs. The two of them walk hand in hand through the corridors. “You’re sure the investigation into the Western Church won’t be difficult for you, beloved? I worry about your safety.”

 “I can’t promise the investigation won’t come without dangers,” she replies truthfully, “but I will exercise caution. I have Seteth watching out for me.” She sighs, her mood immediately lightening, “At any rate, that’s enough talk of politics and official business. I asked Cyril to saddle the horses before sundown. If I haven’t been too stubborn, perhaps you’d like to join me?”

 “I’m quite fond of your stubbornness, you know,” he smiles, letting her lead the way to the stables.

 “I know,” she laughs.

[solarsystem69]

Hi 😊 for the system asks how about 🤫: Any Funny System Stories? 🥰: Any Wholesome System Stories? 🎨: Any Hobbies That Everyone In The System Enjoys? - c (The Union)

(Some of this is text convos i’ve had with ex-best mates and some is nsfw cuz funny stories for us generally are rude in nature lol nothing too explicit just weird flirting really) 

we used to make lissie and max dance together and lissie is like "hes an arse but i like to dance so okay" and max is like "fuck off" he dances with her anyway. so like yeah. then we are listening to music and we're like "Dance with lissie" and hes like "no" and so lissie is like "just go back to your lonely tower then, you downer" and hes like "Fine, i will. I will go.. all alone... to my bedroom" like thats hmmm. so once hes gone, lilly is like "Thats an open invitation to you to come to his room to bone" and lissie is like "lol no... wait... is it??" and doll face is like "oh definitely  " and so we send lissie off to find out whether it was in invitation to bone or not. and in our front room we have screens. a main one for the outerworld and some other ones for different rooms in the inner world castle. and so i tap the screen cuz its a little sketchy to use. but anyway, lissie had been upstairs for a while so were worried he killed her  but we see what went on. Lissie went to his room and knocked on the door and he answers. and hes like "I thought you told me to go away." and shes like "Yeah but i didnt think you would and then lilly said you gave me an invitation to join you and bone so.. i just..." and hes like "You came to take me up on my offer to bone?" smirk and shes like "Ugh no. you're an arse and youre rude and obnoxious" and hes like "Oh please go on, im very flattered rn" and shes like "it wasnt a compliment. ugh i hate you." and he like " actually you dont. you like me " and shes like "what no ew" and hes like "You do. i can see it and i understand why. They are all the same downstairs and im not like them" and shes like "Woah, dont you dare say they. they are all individuals" and hes like "Yes. but theyve all got strong morals and good hearts. and youre bored. so you like me" and shes like "ill kick your ass okay. those things are good things to have. youre a jerk" and by now shes like gradually moved closer to be 'intimidating'? and hes like "oh really?" smirkyness and shes like "Yea. youre just so mean and arrogant and you are such a bad person, you need to be--" and hes like "Say it, baby. i dare you." and shes like "..Punished.." and then bam hes practically throwing her on the bed and like ......... so thats when i turned that screen off. so like hilarious in hindsight but at the time. shooketh.

Doll face and lilly integrated (merged into 1 chick) which makes sense because doll face is too emotionally stable but impulsive and lilly is too emotionally unstable but logical. they didnt choose it and it is fairly easy now. or easier. doll face (loved them so much but ) was wayyy too impulsive. always making decisions for the worse but were fun which would have been fine if they actually cared but they didnt. thats okay. they were young. and lilly was lonely and needed to care a little less about her past. and idk. but its deffo for the better. yeah they were family basically anyway so i think shes really happy about it tho sometimes they do look in a mirror like "Wow. now ive got no dick and some small tits". i mean lmao. she really does focus on the small boobs thing. and we're like "they are average 🙂 " and shes like "No. easy for u to say tit-anosaurus rex"

Also, Nate almost called one of our ex-best mates mum’s a milf. 

(ugh going through old messages to mates to see if i can find more funny stories ad accidentally came across trauma ewwww miss me with that shit)

Wholesome... hmmm. we have plenty of sorta funny, interesting stories. Oh actually yes. I know. Okay, so i sorta just am always stalking around the inner world so i see almost everything. But this starts in our front room (like our fronting room but our living room, its genius ik)  we were listening to music (or Nate was) and Fox decided to come dance in the fronting room to the bops and me and Lilly saw them dancing very saucily together 😏 ya know. So we laughed and left. So we're listening to music on the way home and Lilly, Fox and Nate are in the room. And its all chill and then Nate starts flirting with Fox and Fox is all blushing and looking down like "Idk what to do rn" and Lilly and I are laughing and then Fox slightly reciprocated (as a joke probably...) And now Nate jas him basically pinned against a wall. Not physically just like with his intense eye contact. 😂 its hilarious. Lilly is threatening to go get Lissie because she was like "You two dicks aren't going near each other." And Nates like "What gives you the right to declare where my cock goes?" 😂 like wow. And Lilly was like "Oh I'm just going to go get Lissie then" and Nate was like "No no. Don't do that." Cuz Lissie really has the right 😂😂. Nate asked Fox to kiss him and Fox said "No..." 😂 savage but then you make my balls so blue from heathers came on and I'm dead. Fox: Sorry. Its not you. I just can't.. Nate: Okay. You don't have to. Lilly and me: *Sad eye contact cuz we know why Fox doesn't want to kiss anyone* Fox: *Kisses Nate on the cheek* Nate: *Blushes adorably- breaking his bad ass persona* Nate: you know not all sexual stuff involves kissing. Uh. If you don't want it to. Fox: *giggles quietly like a lil twink* I don't want any sex though. As pretty as you are, I just don't want that. Nate: *is absolutely crushed* Yeah. Okay. But I need some cock so imma head out and try to gain some pride. Lilly: I've not built the village in this innerworld yet so.. Idk where you're heading out to. Nate: *sighs so deeply* I'll be in my room then. Stay out. Fox: Sorry. I didn't mean to egg him on at first only to deny him. I just thought it would be fun and then I thought even if it did lead to sex then it wouldn't matter because I don't mind and then I remembered that I did mind and I don't want that. Lilly: *hugs Fox* that's alright. He'll get over it. He's tried it on with all of us atleast once and we're all women. I would've saved Fox from Nate only He didn't look like he wanted to be saved. at this point in time, our innerworld was still being built by lilly so we all were sleeping in one room, with the littles. and i witnessed the sweetest thing. So I was doing the final checks to make sure everyone was in bed and since Nate doesn't want to sleep with the Littles anymore (they can be slightly irritating) I had to go find his room. He's in a tower room. Its not got a bed and it's freezing but hey no loud children. And as I'm about to turn the corner I see Fox knocking on his door after clearly being there for a while debating whether or not to because Nate told us to stay out. Quickly Nate opens the door and immediately as he sees fox, puts his hand on Fox's arm gently (how sweet. Hes not usually gentle) and Fox is all: I'm sorry. I just couldn't kiss you. Just recently with the bad things and the kissing involved in the bad thing. And Nates all: its okay. I shouldn't have put pressure on you like that. I'm so sorry. I understand. And he's hugging him. Like and kissing his head and hes like "Is that alright?" And fox is like "Yeah. Its nice." And squeezes the hug tighter. So sweet honestly. And then Nates like "I know I'm really sexual and that makes you uncomfortable a lot but you know I would never want you to do anything you didn't want to." And fox is all like "I'm just so scared that I'm never going to be able to kiss anyone ever again because I can't get over that time and I really want to forget it." And Nates hugging him really tight and cuz he's taller, he can rest his chin on Fox's head. And im still watching cuz I'm weird and entranced by these confessions. And then Nates like "Do you want to come in?" And Fox is like "No Littles tonight?" And Nates smiling nicely and is like "No I get nightmares and I don't wanna wake them up. And theyre annoying as heck." And fox is like "I know what you mean. Yeah I'll come in." And Nate leads Fox in by his hips gently. *fox and lissie talking bout feelings* Lissie: what's wrong, my sweet? Who hurt you? Fox: *Wiping tears away* no one really. I'm fine. I don't even know why I'm crying. Lissie: Its okay to be sad sometimes. Fox: I'm not sad. I'm nothing. Just numbness. Lissie: that's worse than being sad. Tell me, sweetie. What happened. Fox: I asked Nate to be my boyfriend. I mean, I was kissing him and I didn't get any flashbacks even when I was overthinking and remembering. Nothing and it was so relieving. And I asked him. And he said he had to go for a walk. Lissie: Oh darling. It'll be okay. He loves you. Fox: Does he now? sigh I just love him so much. I love him more than you approve of. I love him so much I don't know what to do. But in not what he needs. He wants physical love and even so, he cant handle commitment. And I know that you don't want us together so you'll get your wish but I need him. Ive never been so relaxed and happy. Lissie: That's true. I've never seen you so happy as recently. I'm glad Nate could bring that to you but I don't approve, no. But if you're going to be together, I will support it. I will encourage happiness, that's a promise I can keep. I'm not disapproving to make it impossible for you to be together, in only disapproving so you have to prove to me that you two can make it. If you two make each other happy, I will be there for you no matter what. Fox: Thank you..... They spoke more but I didn't listen. After strictly avoiding Nate for three days, Fox finally has the courage to face up to him. As the group exit the cozy dining room, Fox weakly holds on to Nate's elbow. Obeying, Nate stares at the ground, clenching his jaw. "I'll start, I suppose." Fox forces out, false confidence strengthening the statement. "I-I'm really sorry that I asked you out. Of course, you wouldn't say yes. That's fine. Completely fine. And I'm really sorry that I made you uncomfortable with me. I really do like you though. Like love really. And even though you don't feel the same... I can't just be your friend. We can keep trying but it will just make us both miserable. We're just lucky the others are giving us time to figure it out instead of just getting rid of us for being dramatic." Fox rants,  getting out of breath and manic toward the end. "I have never heard you say so many words. Are you okay?" Nate smiles charmingly, concerned. "No." Fox answers honestly, a tremble in his voice. Suddenly, Fox is embraced by warm, strong arms. Wriggling further into Nate's warmth, Fox breathes in the boyish scent of Nate. All sharp and smooth. The arms tighten around Fox's shoulders. "I love you too. You know this. I'm sorry that I've been... Not great recently. I just thought we could both use some space. The village... It's the next thing to be built. But I-I don't just want it there for sex. I wouldn't do that to you. I just like the people they're interesting and good friends. You're the one I want. They're nothing compared to the beautiful complexities of you. I hope you'll accept my request to be your boyfriend." Nate excruciatingly slowly spills his soul, hands rubbing the back of Fox's neck how he likes it. Fox freezes, slowly pulling away after a few moments. "You... I'm sorry, what?" Fox whispers, teary eyed. "Please let me be your boyfriend. I'll beg on my knees, I swear. I'm so sorry. I've never been so lonely as I've been without you. Please come back to me." Nate practically sobs, hands reaching up to cover his face. "You actually want to be my boyfriend? What? No... That can't be right... Right? What?" Fox, ever the articulate bean, mutters, completely confused and shocked. "Yes. I want to be your boyfriend. I won't have sex with anyone and I won't hug or touch anyone else I swear. I miss you so much. I hate everyone else so much. I need you." Nate falls to his knees, taking Fox's hand in his and pressed his lips to the soft skin as he rambles, tears falling down his face. "You absolute idiot. You moron. You complete fool." Fox sighs, rambling random tiny insults, before falling to his knees and taking Nate's face in his hands. "I'm so totally in love with you." Fox mumbles, pressing his forehead to Nate's. a couple weeks later: they sang a love song together. 😩 I literally cried. Nate on his guitar and Fox singing. Ive never seen him so relaxed and happy. Ahhh. I wanna cry I'm so excited. 😂😂😂 these boys will be the death of me. theyre both the biggest drama queens and they so gay.

im so sorry that was so long but their relationship created so much drama between us bc we didnt know if it would work out and theyre the most wholesome boys, except nate but well he has his moments. softest boiis uwu. 

Everyone in the system likes to sing and play games and read. Fox mainly likes to write and stuff but Evan is also knows for her nice stories on wattpad lmao. We arent very active, so we dont do much sport but we do like badminton and we used to do a running club. Evan likes baking, where it stressed me tf out. i cant even crack an egg right. only Evan draws really. Our main hobbies are minecraft, eating unhealthy foods and sleeping :) 

[lemonsknees]

Is the Bible clear on Homosexuality?

reposting this here cause apparently while i was off learning about the Bible my other account got flagged, go figure  ¯\_(’-’)_/¯

I have been attending a bible college for a year now. Why? Because I have a passion for the Lord and have an unhealthy desire to know all the things. Now I would have attended regardless but I had some ulterior goals in mind when I started attending. I wanted to know what caused people to be homophobic. I myself am bisexual (though at the moment i’m very firmly at the back of the closet like I’m hanging out with C. S. Lewis in Narnia rn).  So the school doesn’t know about this. But I also have close family member who is apart of the LGBT that had a large hand in raising me and the school does know about them. so when I question into things like this the other students and the teachers think it’s on the basis of concern for them.

Now I could go on about the homophobic behaviors I noticed during the year, in fact I have a copy in which I tried to go through it and it just took to long to try to go over exactly what they were getting wrong every time. so instead of doing that I’d like to go over something that people said repeatedly which got on my nerves and kill it.

“The bible has a very clear view of homosexuality and if a church accepts people of the LGBT it means that they aren’t a Biblically accurate church”

The Bible doesn’t actually discuss homosexuality often at all. People like to look at verses about marriage but the Biblical examples of marriage aren’t exactly meant to be the ‘ideal.’ The book which supposedly the best example of what marriage is supposed to be like, The song of Solomon, was written by a man with multiple wives.

The occasions where the bible does talk about homosexuality it isn’t talking about a loving relationship between two people the way we understand it today. I’ll be looking at three (fourish) places where its talked about.

Sodom: this is one most people don’t really get caught up on if they’ve actually read the story instead of just thinking they know what sodomy means (it actually means any form of sexual activity which isn’t meant to produce children not specifically homosexual) the story of Sodom and Gomorra is that two angels entered the city and found lodging in Lot’s house. After they’d entered the house however they had to struggle to keep the people of the city out of the house because they wanted to drag the men out and rape them. lot’s response is to offer up his two daughters to them instead (an example of how even the people the Bible roots for aren’t people who we are meant to model our lives after) the crowds don’t accept Lot’s offer and God ultimately decides to destroy the city. Now having read this is it safe to assume that God destroyed the city because the people there were gay? Or was it maybe because they tried to gangrape foreigners?

This isn’t even the last instance in which we see this. In judges there’s a story that is very similar to this. A man is visiting and stays in someone’s house, the people of the town descend on the house and demand to be allowed to rape this man. The man who owns the house instead offers them the visitors mistress. This time they accept the offer and the woman is raped to death. This story is an awful one to read, and the narrative treats it as such, a war is started over the death of this woman. Because of the parallels between this story and the one of Sodom and Gomorra and how no one ever sights this as a story against homosexuality but against rape and the mistreatment of foreigners I think it is safe and Biblical to assume that Sodom was destroyed for the sins of such, rape and mistreatment of foreigners.

Leviticus has a law specifically against a man sleeping with another man, this is easily dismissible as another law that was only applicable to the Jewish people, but let’s look at why this would have been in place. Culturally woman were seen as lower than men, to sleep with another man would be seen as him lowering his partner to the status of a woman. Sexual relationships were barred outside of marriage, marriages were arranged for the purpose of bringing children, thus two men had no chance of ever getting married, thus making it unlawful by default. A man would be likely be cheating on his wife to do so. A woman sleeping with another woman would be seen as ruining her value as a virgin in an arranged marriage or other wise she would be cheating on her husband.  

Now all this to say that what is being described here is a far way off from committed gay relationships that are seen today and that cultural views have a huge impact on things like this. A lot of these things can be said about other points against gay marriage but I will try to avoid repeating myself.

It is also worth noting that the church has historically not taken the other Levitical laws which fall into the same category as seriously as they’ve taken this one.

Lastly for this I’d like to discuss Paul’s comments on the subject. Again we need to look at the cultural meaning of what he is saying. A lot of it is the same as before but now Paul is talking to the Greeks, who have a different culture than the Jewish people.  Non Jewish people,(gentiles) were allowed into the church after the death and resurrection of Jesus. When this decision was made the church had a large debate on whether or not gentile converts had to follow Levitical law. The ultimate decision was that they didn’t, (again a point against the Levitical law against this) the laws which the gentiles were however to follow were the ten commandments, they were to follow laws against idolatry (such as not eating any meat that had been offered to idols or other gods) and that they were to avoid fornication, or sexual intercourse between people not married to each other (again a main point here is that gay marriage wasn’t a thing even conceived at that time

Now those of you who know your history will know that the romans and Greeks were pretty gay. Paul knew this too and came against this pretty harshly. Why? Because being gay is a sin? Maybe. Or maybe because people were sleeping with one another at temples as a form of worship to the Greek gods, or maybe because all gay sex was extramarital. Or maybe because the view of sexuality at the time wasn’t I fall in love with such and such type of people. Instead people, when a person slept with a person of the same gender saw it as that person being so lustful that they wanted to sleep with everyone.

There’s also the point that the apostles were convinced that the end was coming any day. Paul was working as quickly as he could under the assumption that the end could be any day, going so far as to tell people it was better to just not get married unless you absolutely needed to in order to avoid fornication. He didn’t exactly think he had time to fix the social climate beyond declaring the Lord and condemning those who continued to sleep with those they were not married to.

So can the argument be made from a Biblical perspective against gay marriage and homosexual relationships? I won’t say no. in fact I’ve met plenty of people in my life who have committed themselves to being single in order to avoid being in sin. And if a persons convictions lean to that view I’d honestly recommend the same. If you’re convinced something is wrong you shouldn’t do it. But if you don’t have that sense, I want you to know that the Bible is in fact not clear on this issue. I was watch a video an atheist made about why he became so. One of the reasons he listed was he realized  that if people are born gay that means being gay is the only sin that a person is born into. Don’t let this be the thing that destroys your faith. Don’t let the church be a stumbling block to Jesus. Don’t let them dismiss you in this way. The Bible isn’t clear on this. There are other arguments out there with as much biblical validity as the argument that it’s wrong. I’d recommend that a person prayerfully listen to both sides of this if they are looking for which is true. I obviously have a preference but you shouldn’t just accept what I say, instead please go and do your own research on the subject and find people who are respectful and willing to talk to you about this. if you wanna talk to me i’m definitely open to listening. (actually i’d be really excited that someone wanted to talk to me)

sorry that this is more an argument against homophobia than something like against Transphobia, i’ve sort of been hyper focusing on the subject,but if you’re trans and want some encouragement then i suggest you read Galatians 3:28!

i’m not on tumblr often anymore but my discord is  lemons knqueezies#6065 so feel free to talk to me there, or if you didn’t like this feel free to send me funny and clever insults to my character!

have a great day :D God Bless!

[lemonsknqueezies]

Is the Bible clear about Homosexuality?

k so i know i don’t exactly know what else to do with this. i just really need to get this out of my head and i think it might be helpful to somebody out there. 

I have been attending a bible college for a year now. Why? Because I have a passion for the Lord and have an unhealthy desire to know all the things. Now I would have attended regardless but I had some ulterior goals in mind when I started attending. I wanted to know what caused people to be homophobic. I myself am bisexual (though at the moment i’m very firmly at the back of the closet like I’m hanging out with C. S. Lewis in Narnia rn).  So the school doesn’t know about this. But I also have close family member who is apart of the LGBT that had a large hand in raising me and the school does know about them. so when I question into things like this the other students and the teachers think it’s on the basis of concern for them.

Now I could go on about the homophobic behaviors I noticed during the year, in fact I have a copy in which I tried to go through it and it just took to long to try to go over exactly what they were getting wrong every time. so instead of doing that I’d like to go over something that people said repeatedly which got on my nerves and kill it.

“The bible has a very clear view of homosexuality and if a church accepts people of the LGBT it means that they aren’t a Biblically accurate church”

The Bible doesn’t actually discuss homosexuality often at all. People like to look at verses about marriage but the Biblical examples of marriage aren’t exactly meant to be the ‘ideal.’ The book which supposedly the best example of what marriage is supposed to be like, The song of Solomon, was written by a man with multiple wives.

The occasions where the bible does talk about homosexuality it isn’t talking about a loving relationship between two people the way we understand it today. I’ll be looking at three (fourish) places where its talked about.

Sodom: this is one most people don’t really get caught up on if they’ve actually read the story instead of just thinking they know what sodomy means (it actually means any form of sexual activity which isn’t meant to produce children not specifically homosexual) the story of Sodom and Gomorra is that two angels entered the city and found lodging in Lot’s house. After they’d entered the house however they had to struggle to keep the people of the city out of the house because they wanted to drag the men out and rape them. lot’s response is to offer up his two daughters to them instead (an example of how even the people the Bible roots for aren’t people who we are meant to model our lives after) the crowds don’t accept Lot’s offer and God ultimately decides to destroy the city. Now having read this is it safe to assume that God destroyed the city because the people there were gay? Or was it maybe because they tried to gangrape foreigners?

This isn’t even the last instance in which we see this. In judges there’s a story that is very similar to this. A man is visiting and stays in someone’s house, the people of the town descend on the house and demand to be allowed to rape this man. The man who owns the house instead offers them the visitors mistress. This time they accept the offer and the woman is raped to death. This story is an awful one to read, and the narrative treats it as such, a war is started over the death of this woman. Because of the parallels between this story and the one of Sodom and Gomorra and how no one ever sights this as a story against homosexuality but against rape and the mistreatment of foreigners I think it is safe and Biblical to assume that Sodom was destroyed for the sins of such, rape and mistreatment of foreigners.

 Leviticus has a law specifically against a man sleeping with another man, this is easily dismissible as another law that was only applicable to the Jewish people, but let’s look at why this would have been in place. Culturally woman were seen as lower than men, to sleep with another man would be seen as him lowering his partner to the status of a woman. Sexual relationships were barred outside of marriage, marriages were arranged for the purpose of bringing children, thus two men had no chance of ever getting married, thus making it unlawful by default. A man would be likely be cheating on his wife to do so. A woman sleeping with another woman would be seen as ruining her value as a virgin in an arranged marriage or other wise she would be cheating on her husband.  

Now all this to say that what is being described here is a far way off from committed gay relationships that are seen today and that cultural views have a huge impact on things like this. A lot of these things can be said about other points against gay marriage but I will try to avoid repeating myself.

It is also worth noting that the church has historically not taken the other Levitical laws which fall into the same category as seriously as they’ve taken this one.

 Lastly for this I’d like to discuss Paul’s comments on the subject. Again we need to look at the cultural meaning of what he is saying. A lot of it is the same as before but now Paul is talking to the Greeks, who have a different culture than the Jewish people.  Non Jewish people,(gentiles) were allowed into the church after the death and resurrection of Jesus. When this decision was made the church had a large debate on whether or not gentile converts had to follow Levitical law. The ultimate decision was that they didn’t, (again a point against the Levitical law against this) the laws which the gentiles were however to follow were the ten commandments, they were to follow laws against idolatry (such as not eating any meat that had been offered to idols or other gods) and that they were to avoid fornication, or sexual intercourse between people not married to each other (again a main point here is that gay marriage wasn’t a thing even conceived at that time

Now those of you who know your history will know that the romans and Greeks were pretty gay. Paul knew this too and came against this pretty harshly. Why? Because being gay is a sin? Maybe. Or maybe because people were sleeping with one another at temples as a form of worship to the Greek gods, or maybe because all gay sex was extramarital. Or maybe because the view of sexuality at the time wasn’t I fall in love with such and such type of people. Instead people, when a person slept with a person of the same gender saw it as that person being so lustful that they wanted to sleep with everyone.

There’s also the point that the apostles were convinced that the end was coming any day. Paul was working as quickly as he could under the assumption that the end could be any day, going so far as to tell people it was better to just not get married unless you absolutely needed to in order to avoid fornication. He didn’t exactly think he had time to fix the social climate beyond declaring the Lord and condemning those who continued to sleep with those they were not married to.

So can the argument be made from a Biblical perspective against gay marriage and homosexual relationships? I won’t say no. in fact I’ve met plenty of people in my life who have committed themselves to being single in order to avoid being in sin. And if a persons convictions lean to that view I’d honestly recommend the same. If you’re convinced something is wrong you shouldn’t do it. But if you don’t have that sense, I want you to know that the Bible is in fact not clear on this issue. I was watch a video an atheist made about why he became so. One of the reasons he listed was he realized  that if people are born gay that means being gay is the only sin that a person is born into. Don’t let this be the thing that destroys your faith. Don’t let the church be a stumbling block to Jesus. Don’t let them dismiss you in this way. The Bible isn’t clear on this. There are other arguments out there with as much biblical validity as the argument that it’s wrong. I’d recommend that a person prayerfully listen to both sides of this if they are looking for which is true. I obviously have a preference but you shouldn’t just accept what I say, instead please go and do your own research on the subject and find people who are respectful and willing to talk to you about this. if you wanna talk to me i’m definitely open to listening. (actually i’d be really excited that someone wanted to talk to me) 

sorry that this is more an argument against homophobia than something like against Transphobia, i’ve sort of been hyper focusing on the subject,but if you’re trans and want some encouragement then i suggest you read Galatians 3:28!

i’m not on tumblr often anymore but my discord is  lemons knqueezies#6065 so feel free to talk to me there, or if you didn’t like this feel free to send me funny and clever insults to my character!

have a great day :D God Bless!

[drabbles-and-shit]

The Mailman is Really Attractive and Dean is Smitten

When Dean first saw the new mailman that Saturday afternoon, his body had such an immediate and visceral reaction, he had to excuse himself to his bedroom for a little quality time with his right hand.

Seriously, it was insane; nothing like that had ever happened to Dean. He only figured out that he was attracted to both guys and guys about a year ago, but he’d never even had that sort of response to a girl. And what’s worse? It was one of the best experiences he’s ever had jacking off.

Like, no shit, that mailman was the hottest human Dean ever laid eyes on, and he wasn’t even Dean’s type! Dean had always gone for the petite guys, because you know, he was a dom. Well, with guys he was. He had actually started experimenting letting girls top him, and much to his own embarrassment, he actually really liked it. There was something about someone else being in control that was hot as fuck. But, just girls. He wanted nothing in his asshole, ever, thank you very much. But anyway, even though he only ever had pursued twink-types, the mailman was buff as fuck. He had looked like he was about Dean’s height, and the summer heat-induced sweat made for a uniform that clung to his body just so Dean could see rippling muscle underneath. And the shorts, no matter how silly looking for being as short as they were, let Dean see the legs of either a runner who swims in his spare time or just the legs of an actual Adonis. And his forearms! God, so strong and tanned and--Dean noticed he was developing another situation down south and forced himself to concentrate on gross things like old people making out or his brother Sam’s face. Good, good; the situation went back down.

~***~

An uneventful week later, and Dean was back looking out his front window, shamelessly watching and waiting for the new mailman. He had no idea if he was actually going to come around again; hell, he might have just been filling in that one day for the old guy that Dean normally saw bringing the mail.

But Dean’s curiosity was rewarded, because after about ten minutes of casual spying, he noticed the mailman walking up the sidewalk with his messenger bag over one shoulder, radiating sexual appeal. God, he was just as hot as last week.

Oh my god, wait, he walked by the mailbox and towards the door. He was coming to the door. He probably had a package or something. But not the porno kind. Shit, what if he saw Dean last week? Dean jumped behind his couch as fast as humanly possible and tried to not breathe, because nobody was home. No one. Was. Home.

The doorbell rang, and Dean sucked his breath in and froze. Shit, the TV was on. He had completely forgotten it, and now the sexy mailman was going to know he was hiding like a kid afraid of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and he was going to judge him ughhhh. Suffice to say, Dean was fucking embarrassed.

He waited a solid five minutes before sneaking back to the window and checking the mailman was gone before opening his front door and grabbing the package off the step. His embarrassment was forgotten quickly, because it was his Star Trek phaser from ThinkGeek! Charlie was going to be sooooo jealous, and he couldn’t fucking wait to gloat. He snapped a picture of it and shot it off to her.

Dean: Looks like I win the gayness contest, because I can set phasers to STUN #2fab4u

Charlie: Oh my god, it came!!

Charlie: You had better bring that to work Monday so I can play with it

Dean: Only if you promise to not break it

Charlie: Btw did you see the hottie today??

Dean: Duh where did you think the package came from?

Charlie: DID YOU TALK TO HIM?!?!

Dean: You kidding? No way, Jose

Charlie: Ugh you’re no fun

Charlie: Wait. I have an idea! You should write him a letter and put it in your mailbox so he can read it when he brings your mail!!

Dean: Do you even know me? Charmando, I wouldn’t do something like that if my life depended on it

Charlie: You’re such a scaredy cat, Winchester

Dean: And proud

~***~

Drunk Dean sometimes did things that Sober Dean had to pay for, especially when his best friend/arch nemesis Charlie was involved. They always went for drinks together after work on Fridays, and somehow Dean always ended up being the only one of the two of them that did stupid, drunk person stuff. He was beginning to suspect that maybe she didn’t actually even drink, just pretended to so that she could talk his more malleable alter ego into doing what she wanted him to. Like, just a random example, writing a note to the sexy mailman.

He was going to kill her. Saturday morning met him with a skull splitting headache, and more importantly, oodles of regret. Because yes, he could vaguely remember sitting down with a pen and a piece of paper last night and writing… something. God, he couldn’t remember what the hell he had written. Maybe he had enough time to run out to the mailbox and take it out before it was too late!

Dean pulled on his sweatpants and charged out into the painfully bright midday sun. Despite his body’s many protests, he made it to the mailbox in record time, but it was for nothing, because when he opened it up, the note was gone and had been replaced by what looked like a bill and some coupons for pizza. He couldn’t really be sure, because his eyes felt like he was stabbing them full of needles. He defeatedly walked back into his house and pulled out his phone.

Dean: Dude. What happened last night. Tell me or I’m going to send your girlfriend your prom photos

He waited for a response while chewed discontentedly on a piece of cold bacon from the fridge and sipping a glass of water. He didn’t have to wait for long though, and he soon heard the telltale R2-D2 beep that was Charlie’s text alert noise.

Charlie: You were so plastered, my man. It was wild.

Charlie: I take it you only just woke up and didn’t have time to get the letter out of the box?

Dean: Shit, so that really happened? Dear god, tell me I didn’t write anything too embarrassing?

Charlie: You politely told him you wanted to suck his dick

Dean: I’ve got the picture ready to send!

Charlie: Ugh, fine. No, all you said was that you thought he looked nice and were wondering what happened to the old guy who used to bring your mail. Tbh it was pretty cute. I love drunk you

Dean sighed in relief. It was still as embarrassing as balls, but maybe the guy will think Dean has a kid or something and they wrote it. He can only hope at this point.

~***~

When Dean got home from work Monday evening and opened up the mailbox, his hopes that the mailman would just ignore the letter were proven useless.

Sitting there in the box, on top of a classic car magazine he subscribed to, was a small blue envelope with no stamp and just his first name in rather lovely script in the middle. He ripped it open before he even got inside, because holy fuck, there’s no one who would drive by his house just to put a letter in my mail other than Mr. Sexypants. It read:

Dear Dean,

I’m guessing by your handwriting and subject matter that you’re either a child or a drunk man. If it’s the former, please tell your parents that I am not a pedophile. Please. If you’re an adult and just have terrible handwriting, I’m sorry for touching on a sore subject.

Anyway, Cain, your previous mail carrier, was only working your route temporarily. He actually is one of the higher-ups for the USPS and was delivering mail as a sort of extended vacation from management. Odd, I know.

I appreciate that you think I look nice, and if you’re the adult male who lives at this address, I think you do too. If you’re a child, I’m sure you look nice, but in a non-pedophilic way.

Yours,

Castiel

Oh my god, Dean was in love. Haha, just kidding. He’s not in love; what are you talking about? Totally not in love. Nope, not at all. He lunged inside, pulled off his jacket and tie, and began furiously debating whether or not to tell Charlie about this. On the one hand, she’s his only real friend besides his younger brother, who is constantly busy with lawyer-things. But on the other hand, she would totally gloat about this for the rest of her life. But fuck it, he needs to talk to someone about this, because he never has romance in his life!

Dean: Omg you’ll never believe what happened\\

Charlie: Ooh! What??!

Dean: Mr. Double Stuffed Hotness is named Castiel, and I might want to marry him

Charlie: HE WROTE BACK?!?! It’s fate, my young grasshopper

Dean: I’m gonna send you a pic of the letter he wrote back so you can help me figure out what to write back

\

Charlie: You had better let me be your best man!! AND let me officiate!!! I’m already planning my speech

Dean: Don’t get ahead of yourself… but I’m actually kind of psyched rn

And so the planning began. Eventually, they decided on a note that read the following:

Dear Castiel,

As you deduced, I was drunk. Don’t worry, I’ll tell my parents you aren’t a pedophile anyway, just in case. Of course, they’re both in their 60s and will probably also assume I’m drunk, but better safe than sorry.

Thank you for saying I look nice, though I can’t imagine when you’ve seen me. I’m normally at work when you bring the mail (around 1:30pm, right?), so have you seen me on a Saturday? Okay, you don’t need to answer, just in case you’re actually a stalker or something. It’s never good to confront the bad guy in horror movies, and I’ve learned my lesson.

Hey, is your name really Castiel, or is that a pseudonym? I googled it, and it’s the name of the Angel of Thursday? What’s so special about Thursdays?

Live long and prosper,

Dean

~***~

Dear Dean,

I’m very glad I won’t be going to jail for calling a child attractive. You can probably hear my sigh of relief from there.

I can neither confirm nor deny when/where I have seen you. Also, are you calling me the antagonist of a horror film? If so, please enlighten me on which one, because I’m rather a fan of being scared shitless, and I’m sure seeing myself as the murderer will make an horror viewing experience even more terrifying.

And yes, my name is really Castiel. Let’s just say my parents were hippies. Many people call me Cas, though, and my siblings call me Cassie. I don’t like my siblings very much.

What about you? Why are you named Dean? Did your parents hope you would create a list of exceptional people? Or perhaps they wanted you to grown up to resemble Dean Martin?

I’m sorry, I don’t know where all that rude sass came from; it’s been a long day.

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,

Cas

~***~

Mr. Spock,

I had a girlfriend named Cassie once! Sort that information away for a future test, I suppose. How many siblings do you have? I one brother, and he can be such a bitch sometimes, so I definitely get where you’re coming from.

As it happens, I’m named after my grandmother, Deanna. And I swear to god, if you make fun of me for that, I will, um, do something… I don’t know exactly what yet, but I’ll figure it out, and it’ll be awful, I promise!

So, is it really that hard being a mailman? (You said it had been a rough day.) I’m a mechanic, by the way. If you ever need to know anything about cars, just hit me up, and I’ll be happy to help. For a price… Ha, just kidding. Maybe…

Dammit Cas, I’m a mechanic, not a doctor!

Dean

~***~

Bones,

I find it slightly perturbing that my nickname is also the name of your ex. But I always ace tests, so I guess I’m glad to know it anyway.

I have 5 siblings. I know. Hippies don’t believe in birth control, I guess. But yes, family of 8, from Michael the oldest, down to Sam the youngest. Since I’m on the subject, I suppose I might as well list off all my siblings. There’s Mike, Gabe, Luce, me, Anna, and Sam, ranging in ages from 37 to 21. Oh, I’m the ripe old age of 29, by the way. Not that that matters. Jesus, this entire letter is me talking about my family, sorry.

And no, it’s not hard being a mailman, but it is hard having to take your beloved cat to the veterinarian because they’re refusing to eat, not having bowel movements, and rolling around on the floor, meowing in pain. The poor guy had a blockage and almost died. It was a tough day.

I might just take you up on your offer to help explain things about cars, because I am completely clueless about them. I drive an old clunker that eats gas money like nobody’s business, and I really need to get a new car as soon as possible.

Have you been at the Romulan ale again??

Cas

~***~

Castiel,

I know I signed my last note with a Bones reference, but make no mistake, I am 100% Kirk, and I would appreciate it if you referred to me as such. Thank you for not forcing me to pursue legal action.

Dude, my younger brother is named Sam! Well, technically he’s named Samuel, after our grandfather, but still. Weird. And I’m 32, so that’s cool I guess.

I’m sorry to hear about your cat; that sounds pretty awful. I’ve never really had pets, and I’m actually allergic to cats, but I remember when Sammy’s dog was hit by a car and how distraught he was. I’m guessing your cat is all right now, though? If so, I’m glad. If not, sorry for rubbing salt in the wound.

Dude, do not drive that car. Like, stop it now. Please, for the sake of car lovers everywhere. Take it down to Singer’s Auto Salvage Yard; Bobby is a friend of mine, and if you tell him I sent you, he’ll give you a good price for it, and then you can use that money to buy something that’s not a piece of shit.

*funny Star Trek reference here*

Captain James Tiberius Kirk

~***~

Jim,

Can you sense me rolling my eyes? Because there’s some serious ocular oscillation going on right now in reference to your threats.

And I shortened my Sam’s name, too. His full name is Samandriel. Hippies, am I right?

Yes, my cat is fine, thank Talos. He is my best friend, and I don’t think I would be able to function properly if something happened to him. He’s a black shorthair named Toothless, by the way. Yes, I’m a basic bitch. Bite me.

I’ll try and take your advice about the car. I think my car is actually the automobile form of Sauron’s ring of power, because every time I’ve tried to get rid of it, it talks me into keeping it. I know in my heart that it needs to be torn apart for scraps, that it is taking advantage of me and should be destroyed before it does something terrible, but it’s mine. My own. My...precious…

Oh, my biggest problem is that if I sell her, I don’t know anything about buying cars, so I’m afraid someone will take advantage of my naivete and sell me an equally shitty car for a ridiculous price. Any suggestions?

*I can do this too*

Spock Spock Spock-ity Spock

~***~

Spockity,

God, I wish my parents had been hippies. Instead they were hippos. Yep, I was adopted by a pair of hippopotami at the age of four. Don’t believe me? Ask the Topeka Zoo, and they’ll corroborate my story. (Please don’t actually do that; they might remember me from when I was a teenager and broke in there to try and pet the giraffes.)

And I will never judge anyone for loving How To Train Your Dragon, because that movie was legendary. Toothless is the cutest dragon probably ever, and Hiccup is such a dreamboat.

Um, we definitely need to get rid of that car. Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks! I’m trying to help you. And speaking of helping you, if you find a car and want to know just how swindled you’re going to be, just send me the information, and I can let you know if you should buy it or not!

So… what kind of music do you like? I’m a big classic rock fan, and if you aren’t I will become determined to change that about you.

Can we up switch references? Maybe Princess Bride or something?

Princess Buttercup

~***~

Buttercup,

I find your story inconceivable. But did you truly grow up in Kansas? Personally, I grew up in the wilds of Washington; Seattle, actually.

And good; I would be very upset with you if you didn’t love Toothless and Hiccup, though I must say Hiccup is not exactly my type. I like my men a little older than he (recall that I’m not a pedophile), and I think any man I may date should definitely be my size or larger, or else I might kill them accidentally in bed. Huh, I guess we haven’t really talked about sexuality ever, so sorry if that made you uncomfortable.

I would greatly appreciate it if you would actually send me your phone number or email or something, so I could send you the information on a car I’m seriously considering buying. If you’d rather not hand out such personal information, I completely understand though.

I confess I haven’t listened to much classic rock. I mostly listen to classical music, though I’ve been delving into the genre of lofi hiphop, and I actually really enjoy it.

As you wish,

Vizzini

~***~

Vizzini,

You keep using that word; I do not think it means what you think it means…

Yes, I grew up in Kansas, a little town called Lawrence to be precise. And the bit about breaking into the zoo was real too, so please don’t report me.

And honestly, I’m kind of in a weird experimental stage with my sexuality right now. I know, that’s supposed to happen during college, but maybe I’m just not a normal guy, all right? Anyway, I think I’ve officially decided I’m bisexual, but who knows? Romance is tiring, but sex is fun, and I don’t really mind who the hole belongs to. Jesus, that sounded awful and disgusting; sorry. I’m not even really like that any more. I haven’t had a hookup for like three months, which has got to be some kind of record. Sorry, this I should stop writing while I have the chance.

Totally send me the deets about the car, man. My number is 1-866-907-3235

Dude, I’m going to indoctrinate you. You fucking need to listen to classic rock; it’s the stuff of gods. Maybe I’ll make you a mixtape or something so you can listen to all the best songs. Weird question: do you have a tape player? I’m kind of old fashioned, so yeah, I’m going to make you a cassette tape with my favorite Zepp tracks on it.

Mahwage, dah bwessed awangment,

The Dread Pirate Roberts

~***~

For some reason, it was taking Cas a long time to get back to Dean. They had kind of worked out an unspoken schedule by this point; one of them put a letter in the box Monday, the other responded by Wednesday, and then the first sent back a response the Friday of the same week. Basically three letter a week for the past month or so. No, that’s not weird or creepy for two adult men to do at all.

Dean had dropped off that last letter on a Monday, but no reply came on Wednesday. He tried to not let it bother him, thinking Cas was probably busy or something. But then there wasn’t a reply Thursday or Friday either, and he started to get a little miffed. The least Cas could have done was to text him now that he had his number, but noooo. Unfortunately, Dean had to be out of town that Saturday, so no confrontation could happen over the 1:30 mail delivery.

The next Saturday rolled around with no word from Cas again, and Dean was starting to get legitimately worried. He would have understood if the guy took some time off maybe for being sick or something, but two weeks? Nobody takes two weeks off, especially without telling their… friend? Suddenly, Dean’s ridiculous number of insecurities started blaring at him. What if he and Cas weren’t friends? What if he didn’t actually mean anything to Cas at all? He probably was just another drain on Cas’ time, and Cas had finally decided he’d had enough and didn’t want to talk to Dean anymore. Hell, he might have requested a different route because Dean was harassing him. Shit, of course all this was too good to be true. Dean never made friends; Charlie was the only acception to that painful trend, and he had no idea why she still hung out with him.

Dean knew those thoughts too well; he knew his own self-loathing always came around and wouldn’t leave until he started thinking about other things. So, he thought about Cas. It was almost 1:30, two weeks since he’d heard from him last, and he decided to camp out at the mailbox and wait for whoever came. He had to know if Cas was all right, at least. The guy was his friend, even if maybe Cas didn’t see him as one.

He didn’t have long to wait before seeing his old mailman (Cain, was it?) peddling a sleek bicycle down the sidewalk with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

“Um, hey, sorry to bother you. Cain, is it?” Dean fidgeted, feeling awkward as fuck.

“Yes, that’s me. Can I help you with something?” Huh, okay, Cain seemed like a pretty chill guy. Maybe Dean could actually avoid a panic attack from doing something this wild.

“Uh, yeah. Do you know Castiel? He brought mail on this route for a while? I just haven’t seen him in a while, and I was worried that something happened.” Dean was talking too fast, but he couldn’t help it, okay?

“I know Castiel, and I know he took off a few weeks. Don’t know why though; maybe a vacation or something. I wouldn’t worry about it though, if I were you.”

Oh Dean was gonna worry about it, no doubt about that. Because wow, he was glad Cas was all right and not dead somewhere, but Jesus, what kind of douchebag friend goes on an extended vacation without so much as a goodbye?? So yeah, Dean was going to worry about what he did wrong and why he never could keep friends, and why he was such a fucked up excuse for a human being. Awesome.

~***~

Dean was depressed. Charlie tried cheering him up but to no avail. He was just depressed. He actually took the day off on Monday, because he was such a fucking sissy who couldn’t deal with anything. God, no wonder Cas didn’t care about him. No one should care about him; he was so pathetic.

The doorbell rang. Dean lifted his head from the pillow it had been buried in for the entire first half of the day and decided he probably ought to answer the door, seeing as there was a 98% chance it was Charlie with pie and beer and a chick flick to make him feel better. God, she was too good for him; he didn’t deserve such a good friend.

He pulled the door open and was greeted by the invisible man; wait no, there was a package and a pile of mail on the front step. He sighed and picked it all up, then promptly dropped it all on the floor, shut the door, and collapsed on the couch. He didn’t feel like looking at the mail. He didn’t feel like doing anything except for sleeping. Ugh.

But maybe that package would cheer him up. He rolled his eyes at the tiny optimistic voice in his head and then rolled right off the couch and crawled to the pile of mail. He grabbed package without so much as glancing over the letters, probably all bills, and violently tore it open. Ooh, it was those custom leather-bound journals he ordered off Etsy. One was embroidered with his Hogwarts House logo (Hufflepuff and proud!) and the other matched it but had Charlie’s House (Ravenclaw, more like Raven...dumb! Good one). One of the few things he was ashamed of about being a sissy was doing things like buying matching things for himself and his best friend, or having sleepovers with his best friend, or planning his future wedding with his best friend. ANYway.

Okay, cool, the opening the package plan had worked! Dean was feeling better already. But then he saw it. Underneath the topmost bill was a little blue envelope. Dean’s hand had never moved so fast (yes, never).

Sure enough, it was from Cas. But unlike all the other letters Dean had gotten from him, this one was stamped and had both mailing and return addresses on it. Without stopping to think about what the fuck that could possibly mean, Dean ripped open the letter and read:

Dear Dean,

I am so sorry I haven’t written you in so long. To put it succinctly, my father had a heart attack, and I had to go to to Washington to be with him. The past two weeks have been about family and rekindling our relationships with each other. My father passed away two nights ago, and the funeral was yesterday. I know we never really talk about serious things, but I hope you won’t mind if I tell you this.

Honestly, as heartbroken as I am to see my father pass, I’m grateful that it has brought my family back together. All of us were there with him at the end, all of us were gathered around his bedside as he breathed his last. And he went peacefully, so I’m also grateful for that. I’ll be staying up here for another few days before flying back, and then I’ll be back to work as normal. I put my address that I’m staying at while I’m in Seattle as the return address, but I’ll add my home address too at the bottom of the page; it only feels fair that since I know where you live, you should know where I do too.

Again, I’m sorry if I made you worry at all. I know you might not see me the same way, but you’ve actually become one of my closest friends over the past month. What that says about my personal life? That I’m very awkward and antisocial, that’s what it says.

I hope to talk to you soon,

Castiel

Thank the fucking lord. Dean let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and grabbed his phone.

Dean: Cas is okay!! His dad died but he’ll be back soon

Charlie: Wait, his dad died, but he’ll be back soon? Who is he, god? I mean, Jesus. Whatever, I’m not required to make good religious jokes

Dean: Haha, very funny

Charlie: But yay!! I’m so glad for you!! Maybe now you’ll stop sulking like a little lost puppy

Dean: I make no promises

~***~

As promised, Cas was back by the end of the week, and Dean couldn’t stop grinning when he looked out his window Saturday to see Cas walking up to his mailbox.

He pulled the door open and ran out, unprecedented behavior from the man afraid to make eye contact with girl scouts selling cookies outside the front of the grocery store.

“Cas! It’s good to see you, man!” He went in for a hug, but then it got a little too real, so it ended up being one of those awkward side-hugs that no one really likes but everyone has to deal with.

Cas smiled back widely, and Dean got a little lost in his eyes. Wow, he’d never actually seen Cas up close, and now that he did, he could tell that Cas was actually the most attractive man alive. His ocean blue eyes drew Dean in, and he found himself completely phasing out to the point that Cas had to repeat a question three times before he could respond.

“Sorry, um, what was that?” Was the response. Classic.

“I asked if you were all right; you look a little phased.” No shit, Sherlock.

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“I was a little worried I’d scared you off with my last letter, seeing as how you didn’t write back.” Shit, Dean had forgotten to.

“Fuck, I totally forgot that I had your address. I guess I’m not used to actually properly sending letters, not just putting them in the mailbox.” They shared a quiet laugh before Dean went on, somberly. “I’m really sorry about your dad. My mom passed a few years back, and I know how painful it is.”

Cas smiles sadly. “Yeah, it was rough, but like I said in the letter, it really brought my family together, and I’m sure dad would have been happy to see the impact he had on us.” He paused, and Dean could there was something more rolling around in his mind, so he decided to stay silent and let Cas finish his thought. “It’s funny, he was such an absent father when we were growing up. I know he was different when he and my mom were first married; I think he was a carpenter or something, and he was always at home with Mike and Luce when they were little. But then his business took off, and by the time I was in diapers, he was hardly ever around. Business trips, late nights working, early morning meetings, it never ended. It kind of tore our family apart, bit by bit. First, Gabe ran away when he was 16. He didn’t get in touch with any of us for almost a whole year. Later, he told me he just couldn’t stand to see all the arguing and pain in our family. Then it was Luce, angrily storming off to college and refusing to answer our calls or emails. He loved all of us, his siblings so much, and I think watching dad’s absence affect us younger kids really took a toll on him.”

Suddenly, Cas’ eyes flashed up, and his cheeks grew pink. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’ve just been standing here, telling you my life’s story. And fuck, I’m on the clock; I really need to run.”

Before Cas could move, Dean grabbed his wrist. “Wait, can you give me your phone number? I put mine in my last letter to you, but I’m guessing you didn’t get that.”

They exchanged numbers as quickly as possible, and Cas ran off towards the next house on his route. Dean grinned as he watched his run away and immediately send him a trial-run text.

Dean: If you gave me a fake number, I’m going to go to your house and shave your cat

Off in the distance (only about 200 feet, to be perfectly honest), Cas stopped and looked down at his phone, and Dean could not hold back a huge laugh.

Castiel: Toothless would kill your sorry ass

~***~

Regina George,

Oh my god, you’re so fetch.

Sorry Cas, I don’t know why, but I really felt like I had to change our theme to Mean Girls. Sue me. (Also, you better have fucking watched Mean Girls, or there will be hell to pay.)

So, my friend Charlie talked me into this, but I guess I kind of agreed with her that I ought to do it. And you can totally say no thanks, not interested, and it’ll be completely fine! But, I was wondering if maybe you’d be interesting in going on a date with me sometime…?

Wow, I am a child. Well, a teenage girl, to be precise. Oh shit, and you keep telling me you’re not a pedophile, so you’re definitely not going to want to go out with me now that you know my true identity. Well this is a fine mess I’ve gotten myself into.

Have you sold that car yet? You should really get on that.

Yours forever,

Amy Poehler

~***~

Mother,

Of course I’ve seen Mean Girls, I’m not that out of the proverbial loop.

And would you please thank your friend Charlie for me? I’ll admit, I’ve wanted to go on a date with you for a quite a while now, but ye ole’ social ineptitude wouldn’t let me ask. Maybe text me when you get this, and we can work out a time/place? Saturday nights are usually best for me, considering I’m always off Sundays.

Please Dean, if you’re a teenage girl, then I am too, and then it’s not pedophilia.

And no, I haven’t sold it yet, because I haven’t decided on a new one to buy yet, because in case you hadn’t noticed, my life has been a little hectic lately. I’ll try and text you the details on the car I’m looking at soon, though.

Fours yorever,

Reginers

~***~

Saturday night is there before Dean can get his shit together. He had frantically texted Charlie minutes after making the date with Cas asking her what he should wear and how he should act and whether he should just run away and never come back. You know, normal stuff.

In the end, he and Cas had decided on meeting an a small burger place near Cas’ place, so Dean knew he shouldn’t wear something too fancy. But he didn’t want to wear just his every minute of every day bluejeans, t-shirt, and flannel combo. So, with some sagely advice from Charlie, he’s decided on his most flattering pair of grey jeans and a button down maroon shirt, freshly ironed. Honestly, not half bad, even by his self-degrading standards. He toyed with the idea of a grey tie with the top two buttons of his collar undone, and decided it was too snazzy for him to refuse.

A 15-minute drive later, he was walking into the restaurant and looking around for Cas. And boy, did he find him. Cas was wearing a tight pair of black jeans, an Egyptian blue button down, and a black waistcoat, and holy fuck, Dean was having another southward situation just at the sight. He repeated the words ‘puss, flesh, old-people skin,’ in his head for half a minute until everything was hunky dory again, then made his way to the bar where Cas was standing.

“You look great, Cas.” Dean grinned when he saw Cas blatantly checking his ass. The good old grey jeans never fail.

“As do you, Dean,” Cas responded, his pupils mildly larger than probably normal.

They made their way over to a small corner booth and waived down a waitress. Adorably enough, they both ordered the same bacon cheeseburger, and in the time it took for their food to arrive, they discussed possible future heart health and how they were both going to die eventually, so it might as well be from eating delicious food.

“Dude, if bacon’s what gets me, I win,” Dean remarked right before taking a huge bite into his burger.

Cas harrumphed in agreement, then moaned around the first bite of his own burger.

Uh oh. Turned out, visual Cas is nothing compared to audible Cas in terms of making Dean’s nether regions all kinds of interested. To put it simply, Dean was sitting at a booth, on a first date, a burger in his mouth, almost completely hard. Awesome.

“Dean, are you okay?” Shit, Cas apparently noticed the panicked look on Dean’s face, and Dean’s face burned red.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine. I, um, just kinda have a little… situation. Downstairs. God this is so embarrassing; I’m soooooo, so sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

Cas was quiet for a second, then burst out with infectious laughter, and Dean couldn’t help but join in. “Oh my god, that’s hilarious. Was it become of the groan I just made or…?”

Dean ran a hand through his hair before responding, “Um, yeah. Fuck. Look, I haven’t gotten

laid in close to three months, so cut me a little slack. And honestly, I’m really sorry. I wanted this

to be a really special first date, but I feel like I kind of ruined it.” Like Dean ruined everything.

“Oh, no no no! Really, I understand much better than you’d think,” Cas assuaged his fear and sorrow with a comforting pat on the back on the hand. “It’s honestly fine. Now, do you need to go to take a trip to the bathroom, or are you all right now?”

Dean informed Cas that apparently humiliation was not one of his kinks, and the situation had resolved itself, and they were able to go on with their dinner like it had never happened.

But you know, it did happen, and Dean hadn’t had sex in months, and Cas was the hottest date Dean had ever had. SO yeah. Things happen.

~***~

After an amazing evening of burgers, pie, beer, and literal hours of conversation, they decided it was definitely time for them to part ways. Cas had walked to the restaurant, so Dean offered to drop him off on his way home, and Cas gratefully accepted.

The car ride was normal, if slightly tense. They were both slightly buzzed and totally attracted to each other, after all. But it was chill.

Dean pulled up to Cas’ home, a cozy-looking apartment complex, and parked his car in one of the visitor spots. They both climbed out and walked together up to Cas’ door.

“So, I had an awesome time tonight,” Dean half-mumbled, really trying his best to appear like he wasn’t desperate to go out with Cas again as soon as possible. “You think you might want to do this again sometime? I mean, really, I totally get it if like I’m not your type or you’re just not into me or you think I’m too--”

Cas slammed their faces (particularly their lips) together, effectively cutting off Dean’s self-abusive train of thought and filling his mind with only the pure bliss of Cas’ warm mouth on his, their tongues fighting for dominance. Cas’ mouth tasted amazing, like apple pie and happiness. Dean hungrily chased the flavour, and he couldn’t get enough. They broke for air for just a minute before Cas wheeled Dean around and up against his apartment door, weaving one hand into his hair and grabbing Dean’s own hand with the other, pinning it up against the door above his head.

Dean had never felt less in control, and it was amazing. He could feel the strength in Cas’ body shoved up against his own. He felt vulnerable, but for once in his life, he was okay with that vulnerability.

Cas moved his mouth down from Dean’s mouth to his neck, peppering the skin with hot, wet kisses. He settled on one spot, the meaty place between Dean’s neck and right shoulder and assaulted it with licks, kisses, nibbles, and sucks. He was driving Dean crazy, and Dean honestly couldn’t stop himself from moaning out, “Uhhhh, Cas…”

Maybe it was something about how he broke the silence, but Cas suddenly stilled and looked up at Dean, alarm filling his eyes. “Oh my god, Dean, I’m sorry. I’ve never done this before; I don’t know what came over me.” He stepped back from Dean and rubbed his hands over his face.

“What? Why’d you stop?” Dean replied, feeling suddenly abandoned.

Cas locked eyes with Dean and said very seriously, “I have no idea what I’m doing, Dean. I’ve never had sex; hell, I’ve never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a week. And you’re this amazing, attractive man who has had so much sex and knows all about it, and I’m just going to embarrass myself and it’ll be terrible and--”

This time, Dean satisfies the cliche, cutting off Cas’ river of doubts with a kiss into which he poured all the words he wanted to say but didn’t know how: that Cas made him feel safe and comfortable and like he could be himself and still feel appreciated and cared for and special and important.

Cas seemed to get the message, and he quickly took control once again, holding Dean tight in his arms and kissing him with more passion than is in an entire episode of Casa Erotica.

Dean had been hard for a while now, and as Cas clung to him, he could feel that Cas was in about the same spot as he was. But shit, if Cas was a virgin, that would put a lot of weight on Dean’s shoulders, right? He wanted to make it perfect for Cas, because that’s what Cas deserved.

But apparently, Cas had a completely different idea. He pulled away from Dean, and with his pupils completely blown wide and dark, moved his mouth to Dean’s ear and whispered, “I’m going to make you feel so good.”

Huh, well, Dean realized at that moment he was completely, 100%, no doubt about it, a bottom. And apparently, Cas’ self-confidence boosted itself threefold when he was horny, so yeah. That was pretty sweet.

Cas fumbled with his apartment keys and opened the front door before pushing Dean inside and slamming the door behind them. He kiss-walked (that thing where people are joined at the mouth but still manage to move around, that’s honestly kind of impressive if you think about it) Dean to what Dean assumed could only be his bedroom and shoved him onto the bed before climbing on top of waist and resuming kissing him like a man dying of dehydration and Dean’s mouth was a fucking water fountain.

Without breaking their lip lock, Cas scrambled to get Dean’s tie off, and Dean did his best to help with the clothing removal process, but his efforts were mostly futile.

Finally, after a  pathetically long and unromantic struggle, they were both naked, and Dean was basically drooling at the sight of Cas’ dick. Like, holy hell, it’s not like Dean himself was small, but Jesus, he was embarrassed of his own length in the presence of Cas’ massiveness.

Cas grinned with a hungry look in his eye as he took Dean in, and Dean felt suddenly self conscious as Cas scanned him so carefully.

Cas noticed the change in Dean’s demeanor and guessed the source quickly. “Dean, you are so beautiful,” his husky voice reassured before leaning in and capturing Dean’s lips once again, this time with a contrastingly gentle and loving kiss, and for once in his life, Dean let himself actually believe that about himself.

The kiss soon got more heated, and Cas’ hands began exploring Dean’s body, starting in his hair, traveling down his chest, over his hips, and down his thighs. Dean moaned and realized that, much to his embarrassment, he was actually close.

Fortunately, Cas seemed to sense he should advance things, and he trailed his hands back up to Dean’s throbbing cock. Dean let out a punched groan at the first touch to his hot member, squeezed his eyes shut tight, and clenched his fists behind Cas’ back. “So good, Cas…”

Cas’ hand left his cock for a minute, and Dean heard the telltale sounds of someone spitting before the hand returned, slick and tight. Just a couple tugs and Dean was coming with a shout. “Oh, Cas, oh fuck, Cas!”

He had never come so quickly in his entire life, but Dean couldn’t even find it in himself to be ashamed, especially as he heard Cas grunting as he followed directly behind him.

“Cas, that was…”

A sudden worried look fell over Cas’ face. “Was it bad? I’m sorry, I know we both came really fast.”

Dean laughed and tried his best kiss the pouting look off of Cas. “No, it was amazing, Cas. Jesus, that was the most vanilla shit I’ve ever done, but it was perfect.” Dean sighed and steeled himself before continuing. “And actually, I think the reason it was perfect was because, well, it was with you, Cas.”

~***~

“Honeybee, I’m home!” Dean stripped off his big winter coat and hung it on the hook by the front door.

“I’m in the kitchen, Dean!” Dean stalked through the house and up behind his husband, snaking his arms around the other man’s broad chest and leaning over his shoulder to give him a peck on the cheek.

“How was work today?” Dean asked, glancing around the kitchen and noticing with a grin what looked suspiciously like the mess left after someone has baked an apple pie.

“Work was lovely, thank you. Of course, that was mostly because of the letter I got from my favorite stop on my favorite route.” Cas grinned and spun around to give Dean a proper kiss.

“I’m your favorite?!” Dean grinned and pulled back before Cas could kiss him

Cas rolled his eyes, “No, I’m talking about our neighbor, Mrs. Tran.”

“I love you too, babe.” Dean finally let himself be pulled into his husband’s eager arms and smiled into the kiss. Fate was kind of awesome.  

[kirsctein]

Tag games (several, oops)

RULES: You can tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. No skipping!

tagged by @pokkipo and @llucinas, thank youuu ♡

i’ll be using my saved songs/albums on spotify even tho i usually just listen to my own playlists, haven’t cleaned this up in years so lets see *sweats*

1. for all those sleeping - home 2. i the mighty - frame III: sirocco 3. bad seed rising - dexies 4. twenty one pilots - fake you out 5. pierce the veil - the divine zero 6. all time low - satellite 7. jin - transparent answer 8. alive like me - start again 9. the word alive - suffocating 10. one ok rock - last dance

Pass the happy along!! When you get this, tell five things that make you happy. Then send it to ten other nice people.

tagged by @elziebanana​ thank youu ♡

1. Lance! i just love my son so much??? 2. my friends ♡  i wish i could hang out with them more :( 3. the fact that Tracon is soon ~ 4. when fics update! 5. finishing things. right now it’s just small things though!

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers/people you’d like to get know better.

tagged by @elziebanana thanks ♡

Name: anni Nicknames: .....moth? keithie???? twin momo? Zodiac: aries Height: 167 cm Orientation: ....questioning (ace/bi) Nationality: finnish Favorite Fruit: kiwi! Favorite Season: summer Favorite Book: all of trc, and six of crows at the moment Favorite Flower: forget me not ♡ Favorite Scent: vanilla, different florals, cinnamon, after the rain Favorite Color: blue, pastels Favorite Animal: cat! also owl and fox Coffee | Tea | Hot cocoa: cocoa ♡ but also tea Average sleep hours: rn? like 10 Cat or dog person: cat, but i do love doggos Favorite fictional character: oh uh, lance, suga, uraraka, tons more Number of blankets you sleep with: one! Dream trip: so many places omg; japan, croatia, new zealand...... Blog created: november 2011! its been almost 6 years wow Number of followers: ......lets say that 90% of them have left this website Random fact: i hoard washi tapes :~)

What are 5 things you desperately want but don’t need? List them out and tag 5 other people.

tagged by @elziebanana thanks ♡

1. nintendo switch!!!!! 2. the new riko figurine omg 3. so many different voltron zines (the fact whether or not i need them can be debated) 4. to get to go see one ok rock in december!!!!!!! rly wanna go 5. new apartment :DDD though not needing to pay rent or cook for myself rn is nice

im just not gonna tag anyone cos honestly idk anymore who to tag and whether to tag someone in one or all or any ahh/// these were all fun though, thank you!!

[hoshira]

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

for every ♡ i’ll tell you how to win my muse’s heart !

o1. give him compliments ! tooru adores being told what is liked about him. it gives him a sense of validation + lets him know that he does have good traits. one big insecurity of his stems from the fact that tooru feels like he has no set personality─ that the traits which he shows are not his own, but rather those that have been stolen from others. if you give him in-depth examples of how or why he’s nice / loving, he’ll love it. this also goes for physical traits, as well. if you tell him his eyes are nice or his skin is soft, etc, etc, he’ll get really flustered about it, but he appreciates it a lot… being complimented in general gets him embarrassed, but you’ll know you’re doing things right when he brushes his hair back and can’t really look you in the eye. he gets overly flustered because he isn’t used to being complimented like that… so you’re basically telling him stuff he’s never heard, with a possible genuineness he’s never experienced. of course, this can be negative, as well. if you know what to say, you can get him to fall for you rather easily, even if you don’t mean any of the words you’ve told him. he’s pretty easy to fool in that sense. just watch out, cause even though tooru can’t tell apart what’s real and what isn’t, you bet your butt his team will step in and kick it if you’re just lying to him / feeding him fake compliments to get something out of him.

o2. share / support his interests ! now, you don’t have to be 110% invested into every single hobby or interest of his. that’s just unrealistic, and while tooru would appreciate it at first, he’d probably get bored just as easily. i mean, when you’re with someone who’s really similar to you, it opens a lot of paths to take in terms of subjects you can discuss, but it almost starts to feel like you’re talking to a mirror at some point if you don’t have at least a few things you can debate about / disagree on. anyway, i digress… no, you don’t have to relate to everything he says, but being supportive of what he likes is a good thing ! he’ll definitely find it endearing that you’re at least attempting to get into what he’s into. brownie points if you encourage him when it comes to his more… eccentric interests, like his pursuit of aliens or really obscure things that he dabbles in, like… tea leaf reading lol. and it goes both ways, since tooru’s super supportive of people, no matter what ! if it’s something like volleyball, too, tooru gets really pumped if you both share that hobby, since you have stuff to talk about ( his life p much revolves around his team ok… )o3. understand that the team comes first. this is… kind of big. tooru loves shiratorizawa with all of his heart. if you’re dating him in high school, this is something you HAVE to be aware of. tooru sees his team as his family, and if you make him choose between that or his relationship with you, he will always pick the team. this doesn’t necessarily count for his university au, since the team will have split up + gone different ways by then, but the notion stands. to tooru, shiratorizawa were the first people to teach him what the notion of ‘ family ’ and ‘ home ’ meant. if you can’t understand why he cherishes them, then you have no chance with him lmao.o4. on the other side, however… be possessive / dominate. to a healthy extent, of course. i’m not talking about ruin-his-social-life possessive, but rather just… hold him closely when you notice other people looking at him in a certain way, or call him yours. the latter makes him really flustered tbh, but he likes it. likes knowing that you’re not going to leave him─ a fear that resonates deeply within his mental illness. he’s scared that people are going to leave him one way or another, so being possessive in that sense is completely fine. and honestly, tooru’s pretty submissive in general. i mean, he’s not gonna take shit lying down if you piss him off enough, but he also won’t complain about the occasional head pat or the tight yet domineering hug.o5. be considerate of his mental illnesses. umm this is super important tbh… like, not even if you’re dating him, just in general. you have to be aware of tooru’s mental illnesses ( especially his bpd ), and know what causes him to act in a certain way. tooru is very understanding, so if you aren’t sure of what to do in some situations, he’ll try his best to guide you through it. he knows that bpd is difficult to deal with on both ends, and even more so when you know nothing about it. but there’s a line between misunderstanding / general ignorance ( + willingness to accommodate / improve ) and just being a plain old dick and not even trying to understand him. it ticks him off, tbh, especially since he would do the same for anyone else. if you demonstrate that you sympathize + want to understand him, then he’ll love you like 12340x more for it !!! because this is so essential to him, especially since he lives in a society that would shun him for being this way !!o6. niceness. that’s it. like, this is the easiest way to woo him, and it also coincides with my first point of complimenting him. tooru gets infatuated so easily, and it’s almost always because the other person was nice to him. tooru’s so used to living in a world where you feel like you’re fighting a war─ against society, against your peers… against yourself. so it’s always so liberating to him to meet somebody that is nice ( though whether that’s how they truly are vs how they merely act is another thing altogether… ). he’ll definitely find it as a shock, but he’ll also be more than happy to embrace it. and it’ll get him to like you even more─ he loves finding that small speck of light within this world of darkness.o7. if you’re taller than him and act like a jerk but have a hidden heart of gold, he’s already fallen for you. no joke─ if you fit all these requirements, there is an 88% chance that he likes you in some way, even if it’s just infatuation. he loves guys who can more than easily hold through a fight, but also have a soft spot for things like plushies and puppies… i guess he’s a sucker for romances. tooru is a rather hopeless romantic, despite being repulsed by the thought of him being in a relationship at times. he loves the whole bad person / good person trope, wherein the former’s single weak spot is the latter… why is he like this… he just wants to be the good person, yknow…o8. SERENADE HIM, HOLY SHIT. noa fence but… tooru’s a sucker for shit like this… if you sing a love song to him or write one… he’ll like… cry. literally he’s tearing up as i type this rn HE WILL LITERALLY CRY AND SWOON AND FALL IN LOVE W/ U 10/10. tooru loves singing but it isn’t really a talent that he shows off but just !! he appreciates a good song when he hears one, and he’ll appreciate you like 50430x more if you sING TO HIM PLEASE HE DESERVES THE HAPPINESS OF HAVING A SONG WRITTEN ABT AND SUNG TO HIM ADAUKFHAo9. u dont even have to write him a song just do sth for him honestly. i can’t believe… how easy it is to get tooru to like you… like just look at this list, you literally just… breathe and he loves u already… wtf… but to add onto this list. just do anything in his honour. tag him in a post. link him a song that reminds you of him. write him a poem. include him somehow. he loves it─ loves being validated, loves knowing that he matters enough to make someone think about him. because that’s all tooru wants. his name may mean ‘ to become invisible ’ but that doesn’t mean that he wants to be forgotten. please, just remember him in some way. make him feel like he is allowed to be.1o. tell him you’ll never leave him. even if you’re lying, i doubt tooru would care. he just wants to cling onto the hope that there is somebody who will be with him, always. even if you’re just lying to him. even if you leave one day. he wouldn’t even blame you─ rather, he’d probably see it as something that he did, but… still. tell him you won’t leave. make him feel like he matters. that he isn’t worth losing. even if you do feel like he’s worth abandoning.11. be his friend ! tbh, just. maintain a friendship with tooru. make it so that even if you guys were to break up, it wouldn’t be awkward. remind him that you can stop dating someone but remain friends. that’s really what he wants out of any relationship─ permanence. he doesn’t want to lose those happy memories, so just being with him means a lot. no need to tack a label onto things. just stay.12. remember him… please ? he wishes that this would last after he dies, but. he knows that’s never going to happen. nonetheless, he wants to be remembered in some way. yes, it’s impossible, especially given his canon, and yet… and yet.

meme. // @bokuutos​ ( thanks for sending it in !! )

[junker-town]

The Bachelorette Episode 5 recap: What was absolute garbage last night, and where were the bright spots?

Lee’s racism is still a main storyline, and it’s still super gross.

Hey gang, welcome back to hell, aka the recent episodes of The Bachelorette. This week, we’re going to do things a little bit differently, because I’m fed up that the producers are still making one guy’s flaming racism a main storyline.

In case you missed it, we left off primed for a two-on-one date between Lee and Kenny, from which only one man can return. Oh, and as though that weren’t bad enough in and of itself, they’re dragging this out for two nights. There’s an episode tomorrow, too, which is, for a Bachelorette beat writer, like having two back-to-back exams in college and but without Cheetos from the library’s vending machines to get you through.

Last week I wrote about how this show stopped being fun. I debated not writing about it at all anymore, to be honest, because a) last week made me want to stop watching, b) I have only so much to say about how slimy it is, and c) I said it all here. I have a feeling that until Lee and his Richard Spencer haircut get sent home, I’ll just keep writing some version of that over and over, with varying degrees of disgust.

However, I’m hoping that once this Lee B.S. is done, the show will get back to being what it’s supposed to be: a dumb (as opposed to sinister), Monday night diversion. In the meantime, I’m going to write about this program by scoring it like a sports game. I’ll be awarding an arbitrary number of points to Team Garbage and Team Bright Spots, so that at the end of this we can see whether there was anything worth watching at all.

BACK IN GOOD OL’ SOUTH CAROLINA BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE WE ARE FOR SOME REASON

Ugh, Kenny and Lee are talking on the porch. Kenny’s trying to stay calm. Lee says, “I respect how f[bleeping] calm you are, because you couldn’t do that the other night.” Lee is egging Kenny on, asking if he wants to get violent, twisting his words, gas-lighting him. I hate this. Lee calls Kenny a stack of bleeding muscle.

+1,800 for Team Garbage.

But then Kenny says this about Lee when Lee eventually backs down: “See what a b**** does when a b**** is confronted?”

+1,800 for Team Bright Spot.

BRYAN IS A TOOL

Bryan and Rachel are making out in a sailboat tied to a dock. It’s reminds me of kids making out in parked cars behind the high school gym, but instead of a car it’s a boat, and instead of high school it’s a reality show, and instead of kids it’s two humans over 30.

Bryan’s smarmy, smooth voice sounds like that of a late night DJ on a soft rock station. He says to Rachel, “So if you think I’m too good to be true for you, and I think you’re too good to be true for me, then there’s a very simple solution: I just think we’re a perfect match.”

Someone call Shakespeare and tell him there’s a new all-time great wordsmith coming for his throne!!!

This is not a point for Team Bright Spot, but it’s not a point for Team Garbage either. It’s more a point for Team Goober, so let’s go ahead and add that to the mix.

+900 for Team Goober.

Bryan's priorities are in order. #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/cla5qLM32i

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

OH NO, OH JACK STONE, OH POOR JACK STONE

The last one-on-one date in South Carolina goes to Jack Stone, the lawyer who, for some reason, is the first person in the history of The Bachelorette to get a last name rather than just an initial.

I thought Bryan was a tool. But Jack Stone is giving him a run for his money from the get-go, when he says, from the perch of the horse-drawn carriage, “I like to joke, and if someone can’t take a joke, and joke back, it’s boring.”

Jack Stone, buddy, pal, my friend: if you have to say it, it probably isn’t true. This schmuck has definitely texted one of his friends before and been like, “Why do nice guys always finish last?”

Rachel and Jack Stone go to this bar called Shuckin’ and Shaggin’, where they eat oysters and do a dance called shagging. Which is not, as Austin Powers would lead you to believe, another word for having sex. Rachel doesn’t seem to be having much fun. Jack Stone gets pretty creepy on the boardwalk afterwards.

Jack and Rachel laying down the law on the dance floor! Well, Rachel anyway. #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/r9RJbRP0QM

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

“So it was really hard to focus in there,” Jack Stone says. “Did you not notice? I kept staring at you? You looked amazing. You looked so pretty in there.”

Then he tries to kiss Rachel and Rachel is like “Eh, I’m sick, you don’t want to kiss me,” and he’s like no I do, and she’s like, no you don’t, and then he kind of pecks her on the lips and I AM DYING. I couldn’t be experiencing more second-hand embarrassment if I were actually the second hand on Jack Stone’s body.

OH MY GOD THE MOST AWKWARD EVENING DATE IN THE HISTORY OF THE BACHELORETTE HAPPENS

Note: If you’ve ever been on an incredibly uncomfortable date and don’t want to relive it, skip this, because I guarantee it will bring those memories flooding back. After watching and writing this I can’t stop thinking about this one date I went on where the conversation was the romantic equivalent of pulling teeth, so I lied and said that my roommate called to tell me my dishwasher broke. And I said I had to leave to “fix my dishwasher.” I might be a jerk.

Jack Stone tells the camera he’s falling in love with Rachel, which is strange because I think they’ve had maybe one (1) conversation before today. She looks as though she’d like to fall into the void she’s wishing would open up underneath the table.

Rachel says all the right things though, about how he’s great on paper, and how she’s hoping there’s some chemistry there. I find it hard to believe she thinks there could be after she looked physically repulsed when he tried to kiss her that afternoon, but I guess she’s all in on Bachelorette-speak.

It becomes very clear very quickly that there is no chemistry to be found when Jack Stone starts getting super weird. This, I have to say, is quality television. I’m laughing pretty hard as Jack Stone says, “I love parents,” and, “is your dad funny? I feel like I get him.” Rachel’s like “you don’t know my dad?” And Jack Stone’s like:

When it's just not there. #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/M78lb36ibz

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

AND THEN JACK STONE SAYS HE’D LIKE TO TAKE RACHEL TO DALLAS, LOCK THE DOOR, AND JUST LAY IN BED AND HANG OUT

Which is what serial killers say before they murder you. I’m pretty sure Jack Stone is blacked out; I think that’s what’s going on. I don’t know how many drinks he had at Shuckin’ and Shaggin’, but he can barely string sentences together, and has trouble processing it when Rachel sends him home from the date for being the Mayor of Sketchyville.

I don’t know how to score this. I think we might be back to Team Goober. And I think it’s, like, +90,000.

LEE TALKS MORE TRASH, WILL EXPLAINS RACISM TO HIM, LEE DOESN’T LISTEN

Lee is trying to get Will to be on his side about the whole Kenny thing. And Will is like, “When you call someone aggressive, there is a long-standing tradition in this country of regarding black men in america as aggressive to justify a lot of other things.”

Lee goes on a rant about how he doesn’t respect it when people play the race card, and I want to put my foot through the television.

+320,984 points for Team Garbage.

ROSE CEREMONY

We know Lee won’t go home because they’ve been teasing the two-on-one date with him and Kenny forever. My question is: Are the producers making Rachel keep him around? Is she okay with this? She cant LIKE him. Ugh.

+10,000 points for Team Garbage.

+900 points for Team Bright Spot, because Iggy finally got sent home.

BRYAN’S ONE-ON-ONE DATE IN NORWAY BECAUSE SOMEONE AT ABC HAS CONNECTIONS TO THE NORTH POLE

I don’t know why, but for the past two seasons we keep going to the arctic. Nick took his ladies to Finland, and now Rachel’s taking her gents to Norway. Nothing against either of these countries: They both seem great. But whatever happened to romantic beach escapes? One of the producer’s dads must owe Santa Claus a ton of money and this is how they’re working through the debt.

Anyway, Rachel and Bryan go on the first one-on-one date in Norway, which is funny, because she hated Jack Stone and loves Bryan and they look exactly the same. Actually, they both look just like Joel Osteen, as Clinton Yates of The Undefeated pointed out. And then Jeff Weiner of the Orlando Sentinal made this:

I don't know what this is (network sitcom? cult brochure?) but creating it was a welcome distraction from what's happening on this show rn. http://pic.twitter.com/zGDpzTQicA

— Jeff Weiner (@JeffWeinerOS) June 27, 2017

Anyway, Rachel and Bryan-Jack-Joel go to this huge-ass ski jump left over from the Olympics (I think, I dont know, kind of made that up) and repel down it. Rachel is scared.

“I think I'm more afraid to let go physically rather than emotionally, but today I’m afraid to let go physically,” says Rachel, and it’s the most impressive Bachelorette platitude I’ve ever heard.

They make out in mid-air; Bryan makes these soft humming sounds while they kiss and I feel physically ill.

RACHEL IS INTO BRYAN, PHYSICALLY

Rachel and Bryan have a ton of chemistry, I’ll admit, so I think she just wants to seriously smooch (wink, wink) him. She wonders why Bryan is 37 and still single if he’s so great, and I’m like, hey, listen, let’s not assume people aren’t dateable just because they’re not already spoken for. I say this out loud to the pint of Ben & Jerry’s in my lap and the house plant near the television that I have named Steven.

Your friendly neighborhood Bachelorette, Rappelling Rachel! #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/ZXWAMOyXxr

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

Rachel is being honest about not being able to believe it when good things happen to her when it comes to relationships. She says she doesn’t believe men when they say nice things, and that she has trouble taking compliments, because she’s guarded and skeptical. I relate to this, and would imagine many other women probably can too, so this is a big win for Team Bright Spot.

But then Bryan’s like yeah I used to be skinny and had acne and no one liked me but then I got super hot when I was a senior in high school LOL. Who among us, Bryan with a Y?

Anyway I guess they had a nice date, Bryan’s fine, whatever, who cares. I don't know why he creeps me out so much. He just does. He tells Rachel he loves her.

Let’s give Team Bright Spot +20,000 for this date because the bar is so low.

HANDBALL DATE AND ALSO OH YEAH PETER IS GOING TO WIN THE SHOW

“He was like Jordan in the ’97 Finals.” –Rachel on Will #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/3y76Moiplb

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

So the guys go play handball. Alex the Russian dude calls the Norweigians vikings, and the Norweigian handball coach says, “Handball is life.”

Peter is so clearly going to win this whole thing — he and Rachel make out (she straddles him!) in a hot tub at the night portion of the date. They walk back into the main room three and a half hours later the way two college kids who had sex all night walk into the dining hall in the morning and have to face all their friends.

But Rachel gives Will the Immunity Rose because if she gave Peter the Immunity Rose everyone would be like yeah, I’ll pack my bags and leave because there’s no way I can catch up to how much Rachel likes Peter.

There is, however, this really funny moment when Josiah tells Rachel, “You are the woman for me. The woman of my dreams. I just want to grow old with you and I really, really mean that, Rachel.”

Rachel is like hey, the thing is, you don’t ask me questions about myself.

Josiah says, “Right. You’re so perceptive.”

He leaves the conversation being like, “Nailed it!” and she literally tells the camera: “Do I question it? Of course. He sounds disingenuous. He likes the idea of me than rather than really getting to know who Rachel is.”

I love how this probably happens all the time with dudes. Where a woman leaves a date being like, eh, he seems up his own ass and self-involved, and he’s on his group text with his friends being like “she loves me, bro, I killed it, we’re totally going to bone.”

#TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/6eEiPIA3RC

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

Team Bright Spot gets points because Rachel dunked on Josiah behind his back. +1,825

LEE AND KENNY’S AWFUL, MANIPULATIVE 2-ON-1 DATE

This is where stuff gets bad again. I’m still so appalled by how long this storyline has gone on.

I have a hard time believing Rachel doesn’t see exactly what’s happening. It’s not about her relationships with them at this point, these guys have become a side show. Yes, that’s what the two-on-one date always becomes — no one who goes on it ever makes it very far after. But this is the grossest yet.

The whole back-and-forth on the date is fairly extensive, but, in short: Kenny tells Rachel he isn’t aggressive the way Lee says he is, and then Lee lies and says that Kenny tried to pull him out of a van one time. Rachel says she believes Kenny.

This reminds me a lot of WWE. Kenny’s a wrestler. He’s the face. Lee is so one-dimensionally evil that I don’t know whether this is scripted; he’s the quintessential heel. The producers have set it up so the two of them just sit there talking trash to each other for a while, and Rachel isn’t there. I don’t know where else she could be if not told specifically to hang back, considering they just flew into the middle of nowhere on a helicopter.

Perhaps it’s real. But either way, we’re all being manipulated racism for ratinga, and it’s and ugly and I wish they hadn’t gone this shameful route. No amount of knowing or not knowing absolves this plotline of it’s terribleness.

Tomorrow won’t be any better — Kenny bleeds from the eye and weeps, and Rachel cries a lot. I am dreading this with every fiber of my being.

But hey, nothing like a bunch of active racism to promo the next episode! This has moved to extremely shameful levels

— Clinton Yates (@clintonyates) June 27, 2017

Team Garbage points: +2,890,267

TOTALS

Team Garbage: 3,223,051

Team Bright Spots: 24,525

Team Goober: 181,800

Welp, Garbage won tonight by a landslide and I can’t imagine tomorrow will be any better! Classic 2017 for ya.