#will prolly delete later i would post on my vent insta instead but my phone is in my roOM AND i dont wanna get it
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the crippling existential dread is getting to me
#whiskey yelling into the void#will prolly delete later i would post on my vent insta instead but my phone is in my roOM AND i dont wanna get it#sitting here having a god damn crisis listening to fucking. cabinet man.#non graphic mentions of sh in following tags btw i juust need to fucking. talk. agh. >>#my eyebrow razors are in my bathroom they are There i haven't thrown them out. they are there.#i won't. i promise. but. they're There#i think i just need to sit in my room alone for a bit maybe i'll ink my monev drawing or something idk#im just not having a good fuckin time rn it's just a weird mix of things in my brain and idk what it is#def part of it is going to a funeral a couple weeks ago it wasn't even for someone i was close to but when u live in a small town#you kinda know everyone and this guy was the dad of a family who was a friend of my family and it's just. weird. that he's gone. ig#and ofc i can't even remember the last time i ever spoke with him but it's still weird?? knowing that he's not around???#and it got my thinking about my own dad and what might happen when he's gone and etc etc etc.#it's just. idk. thoughts of death lately and how much it scares the shit out of me#and i h8 pain but it does kinda remind me that im alive yk#its not just the funeral thats fuckin with me theres a lot of things but it all leads to existential dread anyway#i need to go to sleep i think
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