#will never be over carlos softly telling tk 'I love you' here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sapphire11 · 2 years ago

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all the words you didn't mean for me to hear

Part 1 of 'Secret Messages' a Break up era Tarlos fic

Hey Everyone! I have decided to release this fic in 'mini' parts here on tumblr before releasing the whole thing on ao3. (mostly because I need some encouragement and validation despite not feeling ready to publish it yet there and you all have always been supportive) Think of this as a little gift for being wonderful followers/mutuals 💛

Tagging a couple of you who I know have been waiting for this fic, sorry if I miss you (let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this fic or my Tarlos fics) @chaotictarlos @lightningboltreader

Carlos holds the plastic bag of personal effects tightly in his fist. His fingers are going stiff with how hard he’s been holding on to it since the nurse handed it to him after he signed all the required papers for being TK’s emergency contact. The shock of hearing that TK never took Carlos off his contact form has his mind whirling while his body remains frozen.

“Did you know he kept me on as his contact?” Carlos turns towards Nancy with a raised brow.

She shakes her head slowly, “I wouldn’t have needed to call you if I knew. The hospital would have. Doesn’t surprise me though.”

He hums softly in reply, pulling out TK’s wallet from the bag and shoving it in his coat pocket, his phone follows, and then Carlos is pulling out his silver chain with the 252 medallion. It’s wrong to see it hanging loosely from his fingers, unattached to the person it belongs to. Since Carlos met TK he has seen the chain peeking out from underneath clothes, dangling from his unclothed chest, landing on Carlos’ own chest as they make love. He’s equated this item with TK for so long that holding it now is the most tangible reminder of just how bad this situation is.

It is also strange to be holding an essential piece of TK so long after their break up. He runs his thumb over the engraved pendant for a second before raising his arm and slipping the chain around his neck. As he settles it under his shirt the cold medal sits heavy against his heart.

The chain is a constant reminder of all the things he’s lost and what he still stands to lose if TK doesn’t win his current life or death battle. Still the anger and irritation at being called to TK’s side after so many months of radio silence simmers just below the surface. Only kept at bay by the growing worry and sense of dread he feels the more he learns about TK’s situation. Hearing Nancy and Tommy recount resuscitating TK in the field was excruciating, and he almost tells them that he doesn’t need to know the details. Except this is TK, and he’s never stopped wanting to know every little thing about the other man. Even in the frustrating months that TK has forced them to be apart.

Carlos sits in between Nancy and Tommy watching the hands on the clock opposite them tick steadily by. Every second feels like a blessing, every minute a curse. Finally, a nurse comes out to let him know that they need to perform some more tests and that visitors will be restricted for at least the next couple of hours. With a pointed look at all three of them still in uniform she urges them to go home, change clothes, grab what they’ll need if someone wants to stay the night. When she mentions staying the night she looks right at Carlos and he has to actively work not to flinch. He doesn’t have that right anymore, he shouldn’t have any rights. But TK kept him on as an emergency contact and no one can get ahold of Owen, so Carlos isn’t going anywhere.

Which includes home. Thankfully Mitchell happily brings him his bag from his locker at the station and exchanges it for the keys to his patrol unit. He’ll have to find a way back to the station for his Camaro at some point, but that’s tomorrow’s problem, or maybe even the day after tomorrow. His favorite ED nurse lets him into the staff locker room for a quick shower and change into his civilian clothes. Feeling refreshed, but anxious to get back up to TK, Carlos quickly begins stuffing his uniform into his duffel bag until a thud catches his attention.

Realizing TK’s phone has fallen face first onto the hard floor he lets out a soft curse followed by a silent plea that it’s not broken. He picks up the phone hitting the on button on the side. Breathing a sigh of relief as the screen flickers to life and no cracks appear. Just before he can shove it back into the safety of his pocket, a notification catches his attention. He knows he shouldn’t; he has no right, but he can’t deny his curiosity as to why TK is using an app to record messages when Carlos knows he never used to. He hesitates, then tries to guess what TK would have changed his password to after their break up. After two failed attempts he considers calling it fate that he can’t guess it, but on a whim he decides to try the old familiar code - 36320.

His heart does a funny flop in his chest, he swallows hard imagining of TK thinking about him every time he typed in Carlos’ unit number to unlock his phone. The home screen comes up and Carlos is able to click on the notification for the message.

1 unsaved message - would you like to play and save now?

A solid minute debate follows. He really should just turn the phone off, but it’s possible the message could be lost then and he has no way of knowing if it’s important. It’s really not his place to listen to it though and he considers finding Nancy and asking her to listen to it instead, In the end fate decides for him as the phone flashes the warning for low battery and he has no choice, but to click yes, before the phone turns off on its own.

TK’s voice floats down the line and finds Carlos’ breath catches in his throat. He holds it, not wanting the slightest sound to disrupt what might be his last chance at hearing the love of his life.

Hey. This weather is crazy. I didn’t know it could get like this in Texas. You never told me it could get like this in Texas, always just making fun of me for hoarding hoodies. I’m really going to enjoy my hoodie today.

Carlos listens to the message, taking in the easy going rhythm of TK’s voice. It seems like he’s talking to an old friend. Sharing an inside joke. Except if Carlos didn’t know better he’d say it was their inside joke, because he was forever teasing TK about his love of sweatshirts. While secretly hoping he’d be able to steal one from his side of the closet without TK noticing. In fact his brain had betrayed him with that very thought this morning upon waking up to the cold before he remembered that their closet existed no more.

But I’m at work so I’ll keep this short. I’m sure it’s all hands on deck today and I just wanted to say, stay safe. Okay?

The way TK’s voice has gone soft, quiet around the plea, a question raising at the end. It makes Carlos’ heart clench to hear TK directing those words, that tone, to anyone else. For someone else to be granted the parts of TK that were once saved for Carlos alone. It makes him wonder if he should even be here at all or if there is someone else out there that they need to call. Surely Nancy would know though. She’s not cruel, she would never call Carlos here if she knew that TK was seeing someone else.

That's all. I know it’s a lame message, but I needed to say it.

There are a lot of things that I need to say, but none of them are appropriate for a recording, so please just stay safe so that I hopefully get the chance sometime soon. Okay.

*alarm blares in the background* -Shit

Bye Carlos.

Carlos’ heart freezes, stutters, then starts again at a rabbit pace. He has to have heard wrong right? There is no way that TK would be recording a message for Carlos nearly three months after their breakup. Carlos’ mind is just trying to protect itself. He can’t possibly have heard TK say his name. The phone beeps and he pulls it away from his ear to see the notification asking him if he’d like to save the message. Slamming his finger down on the ‘yes’ button and hitting play again with just as much veracity. Before he can even bring the phone back to his ear it beeps and the screen fades to black.

It takes a physical effort not to hurl the damn thing into a wall, but instead he digs around for the power cord he carries in his bag before grabbing all his things and hurrying out to find an outlet. He finds himself back in the ICU waiting room, outlets conveniently lining the walls behind all the visitor chairs. It makes sense since this seems to be a place of perpetual waiting. Carlos ducks his head to avoid the look TK’s nurse shoots him as she steps back into the nurses’ station.

He settles in, with the phone connected to the charging cord and watches as the little battery meter moves, up and down. A quick glance towards TK’s room reveals closed doors and pulled curtains, not allowing even the smallest glimpse of what might be occurring on the other side. Nervous anticipation of what waits for him on TK’s phone causes him to tap his foot against the ground anxiously, wringing his hands together. Finally after what feels like an appropriate amount of time has passed for the phone to be charged enough to turn on, he pushes the button. It is torture waiting as the screen lights up and cycles through the starting features and all the while TK’s voice echoes in his ears, ‘Bye, Carlos’, ringing until he well and truly believes it was a trick of his mind.

Typing in the password is as disconcerting as the last time, and for the first time since the break up, and the long interminable months of silence, Carlos lets himself imagine a world in which TK missed him just as much as he missed TK. He lets himself imagine that his foolish pining wasn’t as unrequited as he always thought. Those thoughts only bring him more grief at the time that they’ve lost. Wasted really.

As the phone finishes turning on he pauses to look at TK’s background. It’s a picture of Buttercup. Cute, but generic, not even some silly moment, and as much as TK loves that dog it feels kind of stale. By now he knows he’s stalling as he hesitates before clicking into the recorded messages app, closing it just as quickly. It was easy to tell himself last time that he was just trying to make sure TK didn’t lose whatever message he was trying to store. Now though, he is making a choice to dig into TK’s private world, somewhere that Carlos hasn’t had a place in for a long time.

The desire to hear TK’s voice again, and to confirm or deny that he is indeed losing what little grip on reality he has, wins out. He opens the app. What he sees nearly makes him drop the phone.

There is a single folder labeled with his name. The words For Carlos shining like a spotlight.

With a shaking finger he opens the folder and for a long moment just stares at the screen, not able to comprehend what he’s seeing. His thumb rests absently against the surface of the phone before he shifts it to scroll back through the saved messages. There seems to be a lot, and when he hits the end, he scrolls slowly back, counting as he goes, all the way up to nineteen.

The most recent one, the one he listened to earlier, is dated today, and suddenly he just has to know when TK started this. When he hits the end again, the date, October 26th, 2021, screams at him. That was only a week after TK left. Only two days after Carlos’ last failed attempt to contact him and communicate. Anger twists his stomach into knots thinking about how TK could somehow put into words a message for him, but he couldn’t be bothered to pick up the phone and send him a text.

His fingers curl around the phone, knuckles turning white as he bows his head and tries to take a few steadying breaths. It’s not working nearly as well as he’d like as all of the emotions he has long thought he worked through in the three months since the break up come roaring right back to the surface. Prominent among them is anger. Anger at TK for running away so easily. Anger at himself for trying to give someone everything he had. Anger at the fire that started the downward spiral of the most important relationship Carlos has ever had. Anger is easy to hold on to. Sure it burns bright and the pain is sharp, but it also drowns out the fear and uncertainty that has clung to him like a cloak since Nancy’s words that ‘it wasn’t good’.

The thing about the fire of anger is that it doesn’t last long and it leaves damage behind. As the heat of the anger burns away, the ambient noises of the ICU fill in the raw gaps left open. The squeak of a nurse's shoes as she strides purposefully towards a room, the screech of a heart monitor echoing as a door is opened, the stifled crying of a loved one as they sink into a chair down the hall. All of them serve as a reminder of why he is here and why he needs to listen to those messages; he needs to know before it’s too late. He needs the truth and if he can’t get it directly from the man himself, then the messages he’s left, clearly intended for Carlos, are going to have to suffice.

Carlos hesitates one last time as he decides which order to listen to the messages in. In the end he realizes they’ll probably make the most sense chronologically, even if his heart is screaming at him about reliving his worst nightmare. He has to shake off the thought that the break up was his worst nightmare until a few hours ago when he saw TK lying lifeless in his hospital bed, a shell of himself.

Opening the message dated for October 26th, and hitting the play button, TK’s voice echoes into the space of the ICU. With a jolt he pauses the recording. Suddenly aware that he doesn’t want anyone else to hear these. He wants, no needs, to keep TK’s private words and thoughts safely tucked away in his heart. It takes him a long minute to dig his headphones out of his bag and his foot is anxiously bouncing against the floor by the time he does. Needing to do something, to move, he stands up as he slips them in, only to be stopped short by the cord still connecting the phone to the wall. With a resigned sigh, he sinks back into the chair, shifting in an attempt to get more comfortable and shake off the strange feelings surfacing.

Scrolling to the beginning of the message again, TK’s voice suddenly washes over him.

“Hey Carlos, it’s TK.

Damn, this is weird. But my therapist keeps insisting that I can’t keep bottling everything up inside and since I hate writing, and you’ve seen my handwriting, well I guess this is the next best thing.

The words are hesitant, the joke obviously forced. Carlos cringes at the mention of the therapist that TK had stopped seeing sometime. His brain catches on that thought and he pauses the recording as he tries to remember exactly when TK stopped seeing his therapist. He remembers an offhand remark or two about it before the fire. He is sure that TK went at least a couple of times while they were living with Owen though. In fact he distinctly remembers TK asking him if he’d like to go with. Mentioning how it might help to talk about everything that happened.

Carlos had vehemently opposed the idea. He was fine. He didn’t need to talk about his feelings. It was great that it seemed to help TK, but it just wasn’t Carlos’ thing. Trying not to dwell on the what ifs of that situation he hits play again.

I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say though. We never really got that far since I kind of shot her down every time she’s tried to suggest this. Everything’s still kinda a mess in my head too honestly. I’ve started therapy again, which I guess you probably already realized. My dad insisted. He could tell I’m not really doing well. I’m slipping, the world is grey again.

Shit. His head falls into his hands as he hears confirmation of one of his worries during their break up.

Shit. No that’s not on you by the way. Crap I never want you to feel like you’re responsible for my decisions or feelings, because you’re not. They’re mine. But I’m not, well I’m not okay. Shit. I’m sorry, you don’t deserve this. Any of this. You never did. I’m just gonna ….”

The message cuts out and he sits there for a long moment, head cradles in his palms, tears building behind his eyes. He blinks rapidly to clear them, desperate to keep a hold on his emotions for as long as possible. When he thinks he’s okay, he plays the message again. Listening to the way TK’s words waver, the tremor that is clear in his voice.

Something Carlos learned early on is that when TK gets talking, he has a way of just spitting out whatever words come to his brain first. Over time, Carlos had been able to pick out what words were most important by the inflection in TK’s voice. A pause before something that he was unsure of, a tremble when he was struggling to keep hold of his emotions, a quiet laugh that was more self-deprecating than actually happy.

He hears it all now.

A pause before telling Carlos the world is grey, and Carlos is wondering if TK was remembering the first time he told him that too.

The tremble in TK’s voice as he tells Carlos that he isn’t responsible for TK’s decisions or feelings. As if that would make Carlos feel even an inch better that TK was clearly suffering. In this moment he wishes he had tried harder, hadn’t given up as quickly, forced TK to stop and talk, done anything really besides let his pride and anger drive him to giving up.

Still the worst part of subtle undertones that make up TK Strand’s particular style of communication is the quiet laugh, more a breath of regret and self-loathing that he hears when TK tells him Carlos didn’t deserve ‘any of this’. That is the knife to his heart. Because he knows TK well enough to read between the lines. At that moment he was referring to himself. TK was fully convinced that he didn’t deserve Carlos and that he never had.

After listening to the message three times he lets the silence engulf him. It’s been a long time since he truly reflected on his own feelings from the beginning of their break up. Mostly he remembers believing that TK would come back, until he didn’t. When that realization hit, he let the anger overcome the hurt in order to cope with his truth that TK must not want to be with him. Over time anger burned those feelings into TK just simply not loving him.

He’s a little ashamed now to hear that TK was actively taking steps to better himself while Carlos really just pushed it all into a box and pretended there was nothing to fix. He wishes TK could see from his perspective how good that makes him, how beautiful it is to keep fighting even when it’d be easier to just give up.

The longer he sits on the uncomfortable hospital chair, the more all of his emotions are mixing into one big mess inside his head. He is still angry. He thinks he deserves that right. After all, TK could have called him, could have texted him, could have sent him that frickin’ message when he made it. Any of those options would have been better in Carlos’ mind than the continued radio silence that lasted for nearly three months.

He also feels guilty. After they yelled and TK walked out Carlos couldn’t understand what TK was so upset about. However, over time he begrudgingly came to admit, if only to himself, that making such a big decision on TK’s behalf wasn’t the best thing he’s ever done. If he is honest with himself, he was also way too proud to ever reach out to TK and say that to him.

As Carlos lifts his head and looks to the ceiling, stretching stiff muscles in his neck, all those emotions give way for grief. Grief for the relationship that they had both let go of. Grief for the pain that they had both suffered. Grief for the future that was more uncertain for them now than yesterday. His head thunks back against the wall behind him and he closes his eyes. TK’s voice still echoes in his ears, but suddenly he needs more.

He lifts the phone until he can see the screen and notes the date of the next message, October 28th. The familiar burn of anger returns that TK could have had so much to say to him then, but couldn’t be bothered to pick up the phone and actually say it to him. There is nothing he can do now except hit play and hope to find some answers.

“I talked to Doctor Matterson. She told me that it’s okay to start smaller with these messages. That I don’t have to get into my emotions about what happened right away. That explaining them out loud isn’t necessarily important for this. We’re of course still working on that. But she said for this I should just talk without pressure.

Carlos scoffs, TK avoiding difficult situations is not necessarily anything new, but he had thought they were past the stage of their relationship where he was the difficult situation. Thought that was left somewhere in the ashes of their old house. Although, maybe it was really the stability of their relationship that burned that day.

So, hi. It’s Thursday.

Despite himself, he laughs, TK has never sounded this awkward before. Always so self assured, confident. Except he realizes with a start that’s not always true. The times TK opened up and really let himself be exposed there was always a hesitancy that seemed so uncharacteristic of TK.

Cap, Nancy and I are still working at Paragon. It’s nice to be able to stay together. Especially with the rest of the 126 split up and with them not having room for more paramedics. Plus the pay is still good.

God damn pay. He never cared about the money.

I’m going to keep living with dad for a while. Save some money. See if I can’t fix my mistakes before. — Ha I don’t know what I was going to say before. They’ve already cost me everything.

Anyways. I hope you’re doing well. Bye.

The familiar feeling of exasperation over TK’s single minded focus on what Carlos didn’t consider an issue. He wants to take TK’s shoulders and shake some sense into him. He wants the chance to tell him it was never about the money. He also wishes TK had given Carlos the chance to show him that his mistakes didn't have to cost him anything.

Now both their mistakes may have cost them the most important thing.

Time.

Without wasting any more time he hits play on the next message dated October 30th. Nothing plays for a long minute and he actually lifts his head from where it’s still resting against the wall to check and make sure the message is indeed playing. It is and it’s almost thirty seconds in with nothing yet. Almost convinced that this was an accidental recording he goes to fast forward just as TK’s voice starts.

Hey Carlos. So I don’t really have anything to tell you. I’m on the tail-end of my forty-eight hours off before we start a twenty-four hour shift tomorrow.

The soft, breathy quality of TK’s voice betrays his exhaustion even through a message and Carlos would swear that TK was just coming off of a forty-eight hour not the other way around. Carlos hasn’t slept well since the break up himself. He’s just about gotten used to the way his bed still feels too big and how there are too many pillows for one person. He’ll never get used to the way the mattress, just this side too soft for Carlos' own preferences, engulfs him every time he lays down. He’d bought it on a whim, needing something to sleep on, believing that TK would come back, and remembering the way his lovingly, annoyable boyfriend complained about how hard Carlos’ old firm mattress was.

Lost in his thoughts he misses most of the message until his brain picks up on the change in tone, so much self-loathing coating every word.

I don’t really know. But I think you deserve that at least. I think I'm just too scared to have you confirm that it's over, that you're done dealing with my bullshit. Anyways.

He sits for a full minute before realizing that he’s reached the end of the message. Wondering what he missed, because certainly that can’t be all TK had to say, he hits play again. Waiting through the deafening silence for TK’s voice.

Hey Carlos. So I don’t really have anything to tell you. I’m on the tail-end of my forty-eight hours off before we start a twenty-four hour shift tomorrow. I’m lonely. It’s weird there are still three of us at dad’s house, but Mateo’s been working longer hours. Dad’s been busy trying to save the 126 and even when he’s here, he isn’t really here. He makes an effort for me, but I can tell he is struggling.

Anyway, all that to say that I really just miss you.

I almost called you yesterday, until I realized I had no idea what I’d say. And I’m also not sure I’m ready for your anger. Justified or not. I really wish I was brave enough, because I think I’ve finally realized that I’m not really angry about the loft and that I could probably talk instead of running. Maybe…. I don’t really know. But I think you deserve that at least. I think I'm just too scared to have you confirm that it's over, that you're done dealing with my bullshit. Anyways.

The silence at the end catches him off guard again. There are too many thoughts floating through his head from what TK says for him to pick one to focus on. It’s a cycle through thoughts about Owen being an absentee parent, again, TK being lonely, but refusing to reach out, and fear being the root of a lot of their problems.

As he’s mulling over that thought he spots the nurse from earlier making her way over to him. He pulls out his headphones and stands just as she reaches him.

“The doctor is done with tests for now if you’d like to go sit with him.”

He wrings his hands around TK’s phone, “Yes- yes, I’d like that.” Somehow he manages to get the words out and the nurse smiles softly at him before placing a gentle hand on his elbow to guide him into TK’s room. The sight that greets him almost brings him to his knees. Despite having caught a few glimpses of TK across the hall before, being up close is a different experience entirely.

The ventilator is the dominating feature of the room, taking up physical space and creating an echoing sound that drowns out everything else. “I’ll be back to check on him in a bit.” The nurse says from somewhere over his shoulder as he remains motionless just inside the doorway. It takes several agonizing moments before he has control of himself enough to make it to one of the chairs positioned next to TK’s bedside. Sinking into the uncomfortable seat just far enough away to be considered ‘distant’, he takes in TK’s features. His face is slack, skin a sunken, sallow, colorless mask.

The urge to touch runs along his arm to his fingertips and his hand briefly lifts before dropping heavily with the knowledge that he doesn’t have the right to touch without asking anymore. It hurts his heart, knowing how tactile a person TK is, and how much comfort touch usually brings him, but he can’t break that last barrier of trust that exists. Instead he settles back into the chair, leaning away slightly from TK and pulling out his headphones again. The app is still open when he taps the screen awake and his finger hovers over the next message for a long moment. When he finally is able to press the button again he wishes he hadn’t.

Hey babe … shit. Let me just …. *background noises, buttons being pressed rustling … *

Hey Carlos.

Carlos can’t slam the pause button fast enough as he shoots out of his chair and moves to pace along the wall as far away from the body in the bed as he can. Hearing the accidental slip up of TK’s voice calling him the well worn nickname that Carlos secretly loved is too much to bear as the man he loves lies nearly lifeless in his hospital bed. Because yes, Carlos still loves TK, just as much as the day he walked away and listening to this message here and now feels a little too much like an omen that he’ll never hear the real thing again. It feels like all he’ll ever have are these recorded words and the sound of TK’s voice, slightly distorted floating into his ears.

It is a reminder that there is a real possibility that he will never hear that voice, light with teasing, whispering in his ear. Or that voice muffled with sleep as they wake up together and greet another day as the team they always said they were. Or that voice thick with emotion as TK tells him how much he loves him, because TK took every opportunity to make sure he knew his love. Hell he’d even take that voice yelling in anger again if it meant TK standing whole and alive in front of him. It’s all too much and he can’t even look at TK as he rushes out of the room nearly bowling Nancy over as she enters.

“Whoa bud, everything okay?” Nancy stops him with her hands on his shoulders as she peeks around him to take in TK’s form on the bed. When she focuses her gaze back on him he’s been able to school his features back into what he thinks resembles a controlled mask of professionalism. Feeling tucked away, hidden in the deepest parts of himself. Nancy tilts her head as she takes him in, “give me a second with him.” She gestures behind him and he takes advantage of her letting go of his shoulder to step out of the embrace. A small nod in acknowledgement of her words is all he can offer her and without the slightest glance back into the room he slides past.

He’s back on the same chair as before, knee bouncing frantically when Captain Vega enters the ICU. Her gaze is drawn first to the room that TK’s in, but she quickly turns towards him and makes her way over. It’s like a shock to his system as he stands, awkwardly accepting the hug she offers. No words are exchanged, as they settled back into their seats. Nancy joins them a minute later, hand immediately resting on his thigh as she settles on his side opposite Captain Vega.

“Has the doctor been by with an update?”

There’s a moment’s pause before Carlos realizes with a start that the question was directed at him. If asked he couldn’t even say who it came from, so he glances up, and then back and forth.

“No,” he offers quietly.

No more questions are asked. They just sit there silently, shifting every few moments, flexing arms, stretching legs, occasionally giving touches of support, comfort. He barely registers any of it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, his mother’s voice screams at him for abandoning his manners. He should ask them something. Provide them comfort. These are two of the most important people in TK’s life. Two people that he knows highly regard TK, call him their friend, and here he is just an ex, without a claim in the world to the man dying in that bed and he can’t pull himself out of it long enough to say or do anything at all.

Thankfully they’re not kept waiting long before a doctor is approaching them. Carlos watches her approach and holds his breath. He’s good at reading people, has to be for his job, and all he sees now is regret and compassion. This is a person ready to give condolences that he doesn’t want to hear.

#ali writes #secret messages #tarlos break up era fic #tarlos #tarlos fanfic #tk strand #carlos reyes #3x03 #canon level medical angst #911 lone star #911 ls fic

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chicgeekgirl89 · 2 years ago

Text

I Get it From You

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand, Andrea Reyes, Gabriel Reyes, Lexi Mitchell, OC Cousin Adriana

Rating: K

For @tarlosweeklyprompts Prompt #2: 5+1 of habits that Carlos picked up from TK and 1 that TK got from Carlos.

A/N: I may have played a little fast and loose with it, but 🤷‍♀️.

Read on AO3

Charm

“I noticed you started wearing this recently,” Andrea says, reaching out to finger the tiny cross hanging around his neck. “It’s pretty.”

“Thanks,” Carlos says a little numbly, eyes trained on T.K.’s nearly frozen, lifeless form.

“You’ve never been much of a jewelry person,” Andrea says, her unasked question hanging in the air between them.

“T.K. wears a medallion around his neck,” he tells her.

“I’ve seen it,” Andrea says. “With his number from New York on it.”

Carlos nods. “He says it reminds him that he’s part of something bigger. That he’s got people to watch his back. That being on that crew probably saved his life, because even when he was…” Carlos hesitates, remembering that his mom doesn’t fully know how deep T.K.’s struggles with addiction have gone. “Even when he was struggling, he knew he had a responsibility to be there and help people. He never takes it off.”

“A good reminder of the support he has, then and now,” she says softly.

Carlos reaches up and brushes his fingers over the cross. “After the fire…everything was just so hard. I felt lost, I was kind of spiraling and one day we were out trying to replace stuff and I saw this and I felt like it kind of called to me. It reminds me where I come from. That I have roots, and a purpose.” He looks up and gives her a wan smile. “That’s probably a less religious answer than you were hoping for.”

She shakes her head, leaning forward to cup his cheek. “It’s a perfect answer.”

Pizza

“Oh my god. What the actual fuck are you doing to that pizza?”

Carlos freezes, pizza halfway to his mouth. “Eating it?” he says in confusion.

Adriana looks at him like he’s crazy. “Eating it? You’re murdering it!”

He looks down to see that he’s mindlessly folded the slice in half. “Mind your own business.”

“Um, you turning a delicious slice of Texas’ finest into that hot mess is my business.”

“How about I eat the pizza I bought and paid for and planned to eat by myself tonight however I want and you shut up?”

“Where did you even learn to do that?” she persists. “I’ve never seen you do that before.”

“It’s how T.K. eats his. It’s a New York thing. I must have picked it up from him.”

“Well can you send it back where it belongs? You look ridiculous.”

He starts to pull the pizza box away from her but she grabs on. “No! Okay! I’m sorry! You can commit pizza homicide all you want!”

He rolls his eyes and lets the box go. “It was so nice and quiet before you showed up here unannounced.”

“You’re welcome, by the way, for saving you from that sad loneliness. Where’s T.K.?”” Adriana asks around a mouthful of cheese and peppers.

“He has a shift.”

She nods in understanding. “Down at Hunk-O-Mania. Gotta get his last dances in before you two get hitched. Nobody wants a lap dance from a guy with a ring on his finger.”

“It is unbelievable that you think that joke is still funny after like three years,” Carlos tells her with a glare.

“God he and Magic Mike both hanging up their tear away pants in the same year,” she says with fake wistfulness. “The stripping world is losing two of its greats.”

“Don’t ever show up here uninvited again.”

Schmutz

“God I love this place,” Lexi says as she bites into a donut. “I will admit I thought gourmet donuts were a stupid idea, but I have seen the light.”

Carlos breaks off a piece of his matcha donut and nods in agreement. “Have you had their mocha one? That’s T.K.’s favorite. They had that lavender one too, a couple weeks ago and it blew my mind.”

“I would usually say flowers and donuts do not go together, but after this?” she holds up the orange cream donut that’s half gone already. “I’m willing to try it.”

They end up cramming their remaining donuts down as fast as they can when a call comes in and they have to go break up some fighting parents at a high school basketball game. It’s nasty and several people have to get seen by EMT’s for bloody noses and black eyes, but no one ends up pressing charges, so they head back to the station to do paperwork before their shift ends.

“You’ve got some donut schmutz on your collar,” Carlos tells her when they get inside and the harsh florescent lighting of the station illuminates them both.

She raises an eyebrow. “Some what?”

“Schmutz,” Carlos says. “It’s like…dirt. Mess.”

“Somebody’s been hanging out with their fiancé too much,” she tells him with a laugh as she reaches for a tissue to wipe off her uniform. “Are you headed home to cook up a brisket tonight too? Going to hail a cab to get you there?”

“Shut up,” Carlos says, feeling his face redden.

“Are you going to stop smiling at people in the store too? And start cutting people off in traffic?”

“Oh my god stop.”

“T.K.’s east coast ways have rubbed right off on you. I would have thought the Texas blood ran deeper than that. Oh god,” she puts on a fake horrified look, “do you think Chipotle is real Tex-Mex now?”

He shoots her a glare. “Don’t you have paperwork to do?”

“I’m teasing Reyes,” she tells him. “I think it’s nice actually. Being with the right person should change you a little. And you and T.K. have changed each other in all the right ways.”

She sends him a smile and starts on the pile on her desk, leaving Carlos to contemplate the warm glow her words have put into his chest.

Team

“Carlitos, thank you for coming on such short notice,” Andrea says when Carlos steps through the front door of his parents’ house.

“No problem,” Carlos says. “Sorry to hear Frankie is sick.”

One of their ranch hands had called out unexpectedly and Carlos was a quick and easy replacement. It wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind for his day off, but family duty wasn’t something he ignored if he could help it. “Where’s Dad?”

“He’s out back,” Andrea tells him. “I texted him and told him to come up to the house. He’ll be here any minute.”

Carlos shrugs out of his jacket and hangs it on a peg by the door before turning around to give his mom a hug. Andrea’s face immediately drops and she sighs. “Oh Carlitos.”

“What?” he asks, confused by her bizarre response.

She shakes her head. “You’re wearing a Mets shirt.”

“Yeah, I think T.K. brought it back from New York the last time he went out to see Jonah,” Carlos says, glancing down at the offending blue t-shirt.

“Carlos, you know how your father feels.”

“It’s a shirt Mom. It’s what I had on when you called.”

“You couldn’t have taken a few minutes to change?”

“You made it sound kind of urgent,” Carlos says in annoyance.

The back door opens and Gabriel walks in, a smile on his face. As soon as he catches sight of Carlos he sours immediately. “What are you wearing?”

“A t-shirt that my fiancé gave me,” Carlos says.

Gabriel’s voice goes low, dark like thunder. “In this house we root for the Astros. And only the Astros.”

“It’s a shirt dad. It’s not a big deal,” Carlos says. “T.K. likes when I rep his team.”

“Don’t tell me he’s got you cheering for them too?” Gabriel says, looking outraged. “Oh my god, where did we go wrong?”

“They have some really good pitchers dad. You respect a good team, they’re a good team.”

Gabriel scoffs. “I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation.”

“I can’t either,” Carlos tells him.

“Enough Gabriel,” Andrea calls from where she’s returned to the kitchen. “He came to help. Leave him alone.”

“What you do in your own home is your business,” Gabriel says tightly, ignoring her. “But I will not allow those colors to be worn in my house.”

Carlos claps him on the shoulder. “Good thing we’re going to be outside then.”

Friends

“Hey babe!” T.K. calls as he walks through their door.

The TV immediately turns off and Carlos whirls around to look at him over the back of the couch, eyes wide and innocent. “Hey,” he says back.

T.K. pauses, eying him closely. Carlos is trying for nonchalant, but T.K. can smell guilt in the air. He sets down his bag and puts his hands on his hips. “What were you just watching Carlos?”

“A documentary,” Carlos says quickly.

“A documentary.”

“Yep.” Carlos pops the “p” in an effort to seem casual.

T.K. dives over the back of the couch and snatches the remote out of his fiancé’s hand, flicking the TV back on. “A documentary about six friends living in New York in the mid-nineties?!” he yells.

“Okay, hear me out,” Carlos says, holding up his hands placatingly.

“You watched without me!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Carlos cries. “I was watching a documentary and then it rolled into the episode when it ended and—“

“You could have turned it off!” T.K. tells him sternly.

“I was going to!” Carlos says. “But T.K., Chandler and Monica?! What the hell?!”

“You said you didn’t even like it,” T.K. points the remote at his chest. “You said it was ‘fine.’ And then you went and betrayed my trust.”

“Well…I got a little invested,” Carlos says sheepishly.

“I’m glad my good taste in television is finally rubbing off on you,” T.K. grumbles. “But next time you decide to watch a pivotal episode of one of America’s greatest sit-coms, you’d better wait for me.”

Dinner

Carlos is so tired he’s not sure he’s going to make it down the hallway. Every part of his body aches to be in bed though, so he trudges onward, one foot in front of the other until he finally fumbles his way through the door.

He can’t remember the last time a shift was this bad. They hadn’t had a single second to slow down, one call after another, nearly all of them resulting in a physical altercation or take down, and the final call of the day had been a shootout at a bank with multiple casualties. He’s bruised and sore and completely wiped out.

His bag hits the floor and he’s tempted to drop down next to it, but the next thing he knows arms are wrapping around him and T.K. is pulling him tightly into his chest. “Hey,” he breathes into Carlos’ hair. “I was so worried.”

The 126 hadn’t been called into the bank situation, but T.K. must have found out about it from someone because he’d sent multiple concerned texts. Carlos had answered as soon as he could, but there was a big difference between being reassured in a text and being reassured in person.

“I’m okay,” Carlos mumbles into T.K.’s shoulder.

T.K. pulls back and gives him a critical look, fingers brushing over a bruise on Carlos’ forehead and then a minor gash on his arm. “I’m glad you’re home,” he says, a silent acknowledgement that Carlos isn’t actually okay, but he will be now that he’s here.

“Me too,” Carlos sighs. His eyes feel like sandpaper and he desperately wants a shower, but he’s not sure he’ll stay awake long enough.

“Are you hungry?” T.K. asks. “I made dinner.”

“I think I’ll just—“ Carlos stops his response abruptly as he looks at the kitchen. “T.K. what—?”

Every flat surface is covered in pots and pans, cooking utensils, or food. The sink is piled high with dirty dishes and something is still bubbling on the stove.

“I um, I might have been a little anxious waiting for you to get home,” T.K. says sheepishly.

“So you cooked enough for an army?” Carlos asks.

“I’m going to clean it up,” T.K. says quickly. “I know the dirty dishes stress you out, and I planned to have it all done but then the fish took longer than I thought it would and the sauce wouldn’t thicken so…”

Carlos’ brain is still trying to catch up with what he’s seeing. “You don’t usually cook when you’re stressed.”

T.K. shrugs. “I couldn’t sit still so I asked myself, ‘what would Carlos do’? And then I did it. It’s surprisingly effective.” His face softens and he runs a gentle hand over Carlos’ curls. “I can’t fix your day, but I can at least make sure you’re fed. That’s the Reyes Family Motto, right?”

Carlos’ face relaxes into tender smile. “Yeah. Something like that.”

#Tarlos #911 Lone Star #tarlosweeklyprompts #Carlos Reyes #TK Strand #Tarlos Fic #911lsfic #Gabriel Reyes #Andrea Reyes #I Got it From You

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sugdenlovesdingle · 1 year ago

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Tarlos @flufftober day 3 (yes, finally)

"Wait, you love me?" "Always have."

Push (AO3)

Some missing moments from Push (S03E04) between TK waking up in the hospital to him coming home to the loft with Carlos.

(after every --- it's a new day)

------

“Hey.” TK said softly to a sleeping Carlos next to his bed. He gave his hand a squeeze. “Carlos.”

Carlos’ eyes flew open and he looked panicked for a moment before finding TK and a sleepy smile spread over his face.

“Hey.” TK said again.

“Hey yourself.” Carlos replied and moved his chair a little closer to the bed, pressing a kiss to TK’s knuckles when he settled down again. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Kind of cold. Still.”

It had been a rough 24 hours. From TK almost dying and Carlos trying to get himself to say goodbye, to him miraculously waking up and getting stronger by the hour.

They were back together but they both knew there were still some difficult conversations to be had. Later. For now though Carlos just sat by TK’s bed and held his hand, fingers lingering on his pulse point, just to remind himself he was there, he was ok, and most importantly, he was his again.

“The doctor said that’s to be expected. It’ll take your body some time to recover from everything.”

TK gave him an amused look.

“What?”

“Have you been talking to my doctor about me?”

“No, no, no. She came to talk to your dad earlier. He was here. And I just… heard it too. I wasn’t digging or anything.”

“Babe, relax, it’s ok. I don’t mind.” TK assured him and Carlos seemed to relax a little at that.

“Do you want me to go find a nurse and ask for another blanket? Or maybe a hot water bottle? I don’t know if they have that but I can ask.”

“No, I’m ok. I just want you.”

Carlos smiled.

“You have me.”

---

“Aren’t you uncomfortable in that chair?” TK asked. He’d woken up from a nap and Carlos was right there in the chair next to his bed. Right where he’d been the past 48 hours, only leaving the room when the medical staff forced him to, or for quick bathroom breaks.

“I’m fine.” Carlos insisted. He sat up a little straighter and cracked his neck and rolled the stiffness from his shoulders. “Your dad went to get some food and call your mom. I think she’s planning on flying out as soon as the storm lets up.”

“Is it still going?” TK glanced at the window but the blinds were closed.

“I don’t know. I haven’t been outside in two days.” Carlos admitted reluctantly. “My mom dropped off a change of clothes for me and some food while you were asleep.” He explained.

TK nodded and they sat in silence for a while. He hated how awkward things still were between them. He’d never had a problem talking to Carlos, not even when he was still in denial he was falling in love with him.

“Don’t you have a shift?” he asked after a while.

Carlos shook his head.

“I had some time off scheduled. To… work on the loft... They made me take the days.”

“Oh…”

“I only got called in because of the storm. And because Marj was back at it again. I didn’t want anyone else picking her up.”

“Wait you arrested Marjan?” TK asked, carefully steering the conversation away from painful topics.

“Yeah. A few times actually. Didn’t she tell you?”

“I haven’t seen much of her lately. Fire got moved to other houses in the city and with the three of us working for Paragon… We just don’t really get to hang like we used to.”

Carlos nodded.

“Do you still hate working for Paragon?”

“So much.” TK groaned. “They only care about money and profits. If I take too long helping someone, I get called into the office to explain myself. But… it’s the only way I can keep working with Cap and Nancy, so I don’t have a choice.”

“Well… I’m here if you want to vent.”

---

“Hey, I found an episode of grand designs. It's probably a rerun though, so you’ve probably already seen it.” TK told Carlos when he came back into the room after a shower.

The nurses had started to take pity on him and his back, and had worked their magic to get a second bed put into TK's room as well as given him a towel and some soap so he could freshen up.

It had been four days since TK had all but come back from the dead and Carlos was slowly starting to accept he wasn't going to disappear or die on him if he left the room for more than five minutes.

“I haven't watched much TV lately. I picked up a lot of extra shifts. I uh… didn't want to be in the loft on my own. I mostly just went to bed the minute I got back after work.” Carlos told him and sat down in the chair next to TK's bed again.

“Let's watch it together then. I think it's just started.” TK scooted over and patted the mattress. Plenty of room for both of us.

“No, no, I don't want to hurt you.”

“You won't. Come on, I want to cuddle with my boyfriend.”

Carlos hesitated for a moment before shaking his head and giving in.

“You play dirty.” He said as he carefully got on the bed next to TK, wrapping his arms around him.

“Maybe. But it works.” TK replied, slipping an arm around Carlos' waist and getting comfortable in his embrace.

They watched the show without really paying attention to it, just happy to be close to each other again.

---

“And then Paul got stuck inside the ice house with the girl, but we got them out. And her dad was so happy, he wanted to buy us a Ferrari.” Mateo excitedly told them.

Mateo, Judd, Paul, and Marjan had stopped by to see how he was doing and catch him up on everything that had happened the past few days.

“Uh no, he offered to buy me anything I wanted, you two just tried to talk him into buying you expensive cars.” Paul cut in.

“Hey, I’m a new dad, I deserve to celebrate.” Judd replied.

“Celebrate by having someone buy you a sports car?” TK asked laughingly. “Anyway, show me a picture of my goddaughter.”

“Who says you get to be her godfather?” Marjan asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Almost dying does not automatically give you godparent rights.”

“Oh and being a social media star does?”

“No but being a kickass firefighter might.”

“So that makes me her godfather.” Paul said, daring the others to disagree. “Since you are no longer a firefighter.” He pointed at TK. “And out of the two of us, I’m the one who saved the girl.”

“Technically you didn’t save anyone. The rest of the crew saved you both.” Marjan pointed out.

“Alright quit your fighting. We haven’t decided on godparents yet. But my brothers and Grace’s sisters are higher on the list than y’all.” Judd told them. “But you’re all more than welcome to babysit.”

“Sure. I’ll be happy to.” Marjan said, a little too loudly. “Auntie Marjan will teach her how to deal with all the stupid boys in her life.”

TK laughed.

“She’s only a few days old, Marj.”

“So we’ll start early so when she gets to an age where boys become annoying, she’ll know how to deal with them.” Marjan replied. “Like when they’re obviously still in love with the guy they broke up with and won’t tell you why but just mope around for months.”

“Well you won’t have to deal with that anymore.” TK told her and looked at Carlos who was sitting next to him on the bed, quietly observing and letting the madness wash over him. “Right babe?”

Carlos just smiled and met him halfway when he leaned in for a kiss.

---

“TK will you please tell your mother I am not lying or trying to placate her when I say you’re doing better?” Owen said, exasperated, walking into TK’s hospital room, holding his phone away from his ear.

TK had been moved out of the ICU and onto a regular ward that morning, but thankfully still had a room to himself.

He took the phone from his dad.

“Hey mom, dad is not lying. This time.” He joked and laughed at Owen’s reaction. “I’m ok.”

“What does your doctor say about that?” Gwyn asked. “I know what you and your dad are like.”

“Mom, I really am ok. The doctors actually think I can go home soon.” TK lied. He was desperate to get out of hospital but none of the doctors had said anything about discharging him yet.

“As soon as the weather improves and Jonah’s ear infection clears up, we’re on the next flight out.” Gwyn promised. “I hate the thought of you on your own in that hospital because your dad has to single handedly save Austin from a blizzard.”

“I'm not on my own. Carlos is here.” TK said, ignoring his mom’s dig at his father and reaching out for Carlos’ hand.

“Oh Carlos is huh, does that mean the romance is back on?”

TK laughed.

“Don’t pretend dad hasn’t told you.”

“He might have mentioned him being at the hospital a lot.” Gwyn admitted. “But you know what your father is like, he never tells me anything important and leaves out all of the details.”

“There are no details. Carlos is here, we talked, I love him, he loves me… and we’re back together. We know what not to do now. We want to make it work. We are going to make it work.” TK said determined and looked at Carlos who squeezed his hand in confirmation.

Suddenly he heard a loud wailing in the background and Gwyn sighed.

“Jonah just woke up. I have to go honey, I’ll see you soon. Give Carlos my love.”

“I will. Give Jonah a kiss from me. Bye mom.” TK replied and ended the call.

“Wait, you love me?” Carlos asked, mischievous smile tugging at his lips.

TK had missed that smile.

He put a hand on Carlos’ cheek and leaned in.

“Always have.” He murmured right before kissing him to show him exactly how much.

Next to them Owen said something about giving them some privacy but neither of them noticed.

---

“Hello TK, good to see you again.” Andrea Reyes walked into TK’s hospital room, making both him and Carlos sit up straighter.

“Mama, what are you doing here?” Carlos asked her.

“Coming to see how TK is doing of course.” She said matter-of-factly. “I ran into Owen yesterday and he mentioned how the two of you have been camping out here, so I thought I’d come visit and check on you both.”

“I’m sorry for not keeping you updated. I was going to come over but things have been a little hectic here, especially the first few days and - ”

“It’s ok.” Andrea interrupted and looked at the two men for a moment and smiled. “Carlos, will you go get me a coffee from the restaurant downstairs?”

“There is a machine down the hall… The coffee isn’t great but it’s drinkable, or I could try getting you something from the nurse’s lounge. They won’t mind. They know me by now.” Carlos rambled.

“Carlitos.” Andrea started. “Por favor.” She just said and waited.

Carlos sighed and got up.

“Si mama.”

She waited until Carlos had left the room and then sat down next to TK’s bed.

“If you’re coming to give me the shovel talk and tell me not to hurt Carlos again, you won’t have to. I love him and I won’t ever hurt him again, I promise.”

Andrea smiled.

“That’s good to know sweetheart.”

“I’m really sorry I hurt him.”

“I know. He does too.”

TK nodded.

“I know I’ll have to earn your trust again after everything, but I promise I will do anything to convince you I’m serious about Carlos. I love him and I want to be with him. Forever. If that’s how long he’ll have me. And that’s probably not what you want to hear but…” TK trailed off, not really knowing what it was he wanted to say.

“Carlos is a big boy, he can make his own decisions about his love life.” Andrea told him. “If he’s happy, I’m happy. And if you boys want to be together again, then I’m the first to welcome you back into the Reyes family.”

“Really?”

“Of course. All I’ve ever wanted is for my kids to be happy. And you make Carlos happy, anyone can see that.”

“He makes me happy too.”

“That’s all that matters.” Andrea patted his hand. “Now when you get out of here, you boys should come over for dinner sometime. Gabriel would love to see you again too and I’ll make ropa vieja the way Carlos’ grandmother makes it. It’s his favourite.”

---

“I’m going stir crazy in here.” TK complained. “I haven’t been outside in almost two weeks.”

“The last time you were outside you nearly died.” Carlos reminded him.

“Yeah but I didn’t. And now I feel like I might die of boredom.”

“Oh I’m boring you am I? I’ve been in this hospital just as long as you, sleeping in these uncomfortable chairs, and this is the thanks I get?” Carlos said, trying to sound serious and angry but the smile on his face gave him away. “Give me five minutes.” He got up and quickly kissed TK before leaving the room.

“Where are you going?”

“Five minutes!”

“Carlos!”

“I’ll be right back!”

True to his word, Carlos did come back within five minutes, but TK wasn’t thrilled with what he’d brought with him.

“What’s that?”

“Someone who has spent as much time in hospitals as you have should know what this is.”

TK rolled his eyes.

“I’m not getting in that thing.”

“Why not? It’s the perfect solution to your boredom problem.”

“I can walk.”

“You’ve barely walked more than 10 steps the past two weeks. Come on, get in.”

“Why do I have to get in a wheelchair? How is this a solution?”

“Because..” Carlos started, grabbing a blanket from the bed and draping it over the chair. “We’re going out.”

“Out? Out where? I can’t just leave this place. My mom will fly over here and drag me back herself.”

Carlos chuckled, knowing Gwyn would probably at least try to do exactly that.

“Just downstairs. To the hospital garden. The weather is nice.”

“How do you know, you’ve been stuck in here with me the whole time.”

“One of the nurses just told me.” Carlos said laughingly. “Come on, let’s get some fresh air and maybe some ice cream.”

“Are you seriously bribing me with ice cream?”

“That depends… is it working?”

After a few minutes of back and forth, TK reluctantly got in the wheelchair and let Carlos wheel him to the hospital garden where they sat down on a bench.

“This is nice.” TK admitted, closing him eyes and tilting his face up to the sun.

“You mean I was right? This was a good idea.” Carlos teased.

“Shut up.” TK shot back, happily accepting the kiss Carlos pressed to his temple.

They stayed on the bench for a while, sitting close together to keep warm because TK refused to cover up with the blanket and choosing to wrap himself in Carlos’ jacket instead.

“I can’t wait to get out of here. I feel fine and I’m just taking up a bed when there’s someone out there who might really need it.”

“I’m sure they won’t keep you here longer than necessary.”

“I know…” TK sighed. “I’m just bored. And I miss my own bed.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, is that so strange? It’s a hospital, not a hotel. The beds aren’t that comfortable. And I’m fed up with the blood tests and the IVs and the wires they keep attaching to me.”

“I know. I get that. I just… there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Ok… Sounds serious…”

“No. Yes. I mean. Yes it’s serious. But nothing bad, I promise.”

“That does nothing to reassure me.”

Carlos shook his head. The conversation was not going the way he’d planned.

“I was hoping... That when you can get out of here... You would want to come back to the loft. With me. Permanently.”

“Are you asking me to move in with you? Again?” TK asked, a smile spreading over his face.

“Yes. Again. I don’t want you to go back to your dad’s house, I want you to come home with me. The loft was always supposed to be ours… but I understand if you think it’s too soon or you’re not ready or something but -”

TK shut him up with a kiss.

“There’s nothing I want more.” He vowed. “But you’re helping me tell my dad.”

#tarlos #911 lone star #flufftober2023 #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #my writing

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alrightbuckaroo · 1 year ago

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I'm not sure if you're still doing these, but 22 for the Spotify Wrapped Drabbles please 💜

Hello Dalawa! That'll be The Visit (She Was Here) by The Cyrkle (a fun little [now defunct] sunshine pop band from the mid 60s!) It's a bit of angsty song despite the sound so I hope you don't mind a little heartache that also ended up being much longer than I planned it to be:

Carlos' fingers are interlocked with TK's; they hold onto one another as if that's what their hands were made for.

Carlos has never been more in love and it scares him. Each and every day, Carlos finds himself falling that much harder and he's worried that one day he'll reach the ground and never know how to get up again.

Then TK will casually tell him something that's anything but casual, like, "I never liked that shade of yellow until I saw it on you," or "I never understood my mother's favorite song but then I met you," or "I dreamt about you last night, I can't believe I get to wake up to the real thing," and just like that, Carlos is no longer scared because this is a man who loves him just as much as he does him.

At the moment, they're walking through the farmer's market and making ridiculous puns that no one but them will find funny. That's fine though, who needs the rest of the world when the embodiment of your world is standing right next to you.

After leaving the farmer's market, they go home. Carlos tells TK he can call it Carlos' apartment but TK says he likes the way 'home' rolls off the tongue. As Carlos opens the front door, he hears the faintest sound of a beep, but chooses to ignore it.

Once dinner is finished, they both get ready for bed while listening to Neil Young's Harvest Moon. TK's a romantic so he loves romanticizing the mundane and Carlos loves letting him. As Carlos spits out his toothpaste, he hears that fainting beeping once again, but this time it's the tiniest bit louder

Now, they're in bed, treating the silence as their favorite song. Carlos is rubbing his thumb across the ridges of TK's knuckles, holding on because all he ever wants to do is hold TK's hand.

"I feel like I've dreamed you up," Carlos whispers, softly and tender. He presses an even more tender kiss to TK's knuckles and TK begins to chuckle. Carlos' eyebrows knit together at the sound, and he swears he can hear that beeping again.

"That's because you did, baby," TK pulls his hand away from Carlos' and leaves a trail of heartache in its wake. He runs his fingers through Carlos' curls but his fingers feel lighter than ever; almost as if he's not there.

"What?" Carlos can hear that incessant beeping start to get louder.

"You dreamed me up," TK explains, his touch feeling akin to the feather, it's there, but barely just. "I'm not here."

"But I need you to be," Carlos argues, reaching up to grab onto TK's hand but when he does, it's like TK's hand becomes sand in his palm; grains flowing through the spaces between his fingers.

Carlos sits up in the bed, trying to ignore that damn beeping, and he waits for TK to sit up and join him. He waits for TK to sit up and say that he's playing some cruel practical joke even if he's not known for playing them ever before.

Instead, TK continues lying down, looking up at Carlos with dewy emerald eyes and a sympathetic smile. "It's time to wake up, baby."

Carlos jumps awake, propelling himself from the sheets and breathing erratically. He looks over to the nightstand, grabs his phone and puts an end to the incessant beeping.

He looks to the other side of him and sees that one half of the bed is still made. He sighs when he remembers; this is what he was scared of.

He wakes up, goes through his morning routine in a bout of silence that seems especially loud. He listens to the weatherman say that there's winter storm coming and Carlos thinks it's fitting, he's in hell so why not have it freeze over.

He makes breakfast for one before going to work; after work, he comes home and has dinner for one.

Later, as he's showering, Neil Young's Harvest Moon begins to play through the speaker and Carlos couldn't be in more of a hurry to try and change to the next track.

Now, he's in bed, waiting to go to sleep and scared that when he starts dreaming, he's going to do it all over again.

send me a number 1-100 and i will try to write a short drabble based off whatever song that corresponds to in my spotify wrapped - here's #63

#this might be the wrong word but this was FUN to write hahahah; thanks so much for sending an ask in <3 #gotta revisit the break-up every now and then to remember how far they've come <3 #series: love is the song you can't stop singing #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #tarlos fic #my writing

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reyesstrand · 1 year ago

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wip wednesday

thanks for the tag @rmd-writes @strandnreyes @alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton and @carlos-in-glasses <3 i was going to share more from the food fic before i realized i’m truly going to end up posting the whole fic in snippet-form before it’s done, so here’s a something i’ve been working on as a side project!

“Hey, you know what? It has character, and I love it,” TK tells him, holding the lopsided bowl he crafted with his own two hands close to his chest like he would a baby, or a tiny animal. He’s surprised it survived the kiln without suffering any damage or cracks, but it’s here, and Carlos is looking at him strangely, the corner of his mouth lifted up in a barely-contained smile.

“I’m proud of you,” Carlos says, and there’s no sarcasm or belittling notes in his voice—it’s the truth. His deep eyes are so warm as they stay focused on him, and it makes TK feel hot all over. Carlos very pointedly licks his bottom lip before he finally looks away. “I’ll help you wrap it up, if you can give me a few minutes.”

“Yeah, no rush,” TK nods, eyes tracking the other man as Carlos turns and drops back down onto his stool. He winces once he lamely adds, “do your thing, man.”

Carlos smiles at him, despite it all. TK’s stomach twists. He slips into the shadows of the studio as Carlos dips his hands in water before placing them around the ball of clay he’d thrown and centered a few minutes before. TK watches him because it’s mesmerizing and kind of impossible not to, as he takes in Carlos’ denim-clad thighs spread around the wheel as he sits close and hunches over, his elbows close to his body and biceps bulging as he gracefully shapes the clay. He gently places his own bowl down on one of the hip-high tables, killing time by pacing up and down the length of the back of the studio where shelves are lined with industrial-sized buckets of glaze, humming a little under his breath to the song that’s playing softly through the speakers.

Before he knows it, the gentle hum of the spinning wheel fades as it slows and then stops completely, and Carlos’ stool creaks. TK turns, planning on joking around and asking if he’s being too much of a distraction, when he suddenly finds himself being pushed back against the neighbouring wall. Carlos’ eyes are shining as they take TK in and his hands—his big, sturdy hands, which are skilled and capable of creating such delicate, artistic, beautiful things—cup his face, wet clay smearing against the side of TK’s jaw as his head is tilted up. TK’s already waiting for the kiss and yet something inside him feels set on fire when it happens, his jaw falling open as his lips part, curling his fingers in the back of Carlos’ threadbare t-shirt to bring him even closer.

no pressure tagging @freneticfloetry @never-blooms @morganaspendragonss @sunshinestrand @beautifulhigh @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @maxbegone and anyone else who wants to share something <3333

#tag games #my fic #tarlos

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lire-casander · 2 years ago

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#19 trying to make them laugh

trying to make them laugh original prompt list here

There are difficult days. Carlos already knew it, ever since he learned about TK’s journey. There would be, and there are, days when everything seems gray and dull, problems impossible to solve, mountains too high to be climbed. Carlos knows it. He’s prepared for those days when TK calls after a hard shift to let Carlos know that he’ll be late coming back home because he needs to stop for a meeting.

What he isn’t ready for is the days when he comes back home and finds TK lost deep in thought, staring at pictures of happier days when Gwyn was alive.

It’s not that TK is crying, because he’s not. Carlos is aware that, while he wil never get over losing his mother, TK has come to terms with the fact that she will never pick up his calls again.

It’s that TK is sad whenever he thinks of Gwyn. And he only takes this album out of its hidden place whenever he feels like he needs an outlet for all the sadness he feels sometimes. Carlos wishes there was something he could do to make it easier for his fiancé.

He knows there isn’t, but he can still try.

“Hey, babe,” he greets, sitting beside TK on the couch, careful not to bump the album TK’s holding in his hands.

“Hi,” TK greets back in a low voice. “I was feeling like I needed a trip down memory lane.”

“That’s not bad,” Carlos says, dropping a kiss on TK’s temple. “Remembering your mom is always a good thing. Which pictures are we looking at today?”

TK shows him the page he’s in; Carlos can see one photograph featuring a very young TK held by Gwyn. “How old were you in this picture? Three? Four?”

“I think I was three,” TK explains. “This is from the day she took me to the 152 for the first time.”

“You hadn’t been there before?” Carlos says. “I thought you’d gone to your father’s station almost since birth.”

“The 152 hadn’t been Dad’s first station in New York City. He’d been a Lieutenant at the 90 before getting transferred. The 152 was his whole life there from then on.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah,” TK sighs. “Mom had promised me we’d go to the carousel on Pier 62 afterwards. I really miss those days. I can’t believe it’s going to be a year since she left us.”

Carlos’ heart hurts as TK speaks. The anniversary of Gwyn’s passing is a date he’s marked on his calendar; he’s been bracin himself for that moment. Apparently, he should have prepared at least three weeks in advance.

“I’m so sorry, babe,” he begins. His hand finds its way up to TK’s face, and he cups TK’s cheek before brushing his fingers through his hair. “I can’t really start to imagine how hard this must be. But I can tell you that she’d have wanted you to be happy and to keep on living.”

“She would have wanted that,” TK agrees, his fingertip tracing the silhouette of his mother’s image. “She fought so hard for me to stay alive.”

"And I intend to follow in her footsteps," Carlos tells him. "Even if I have to carry you in my arms to the carousel at Pier 62.”

That elicits a sudden chuckle from TK, who looks up at him in disbelief. “I don’t know what surprises me, the fact that you’d carry me in your arms in public or the fact that you’d do it in New York City.”

“Haven’t you realized yet that I’d do anything for you?” Carlos says in a low voice. “Even embarrassing myself on a trip to New York City.”

TK laughs a little louder this time, closing the album. “Thanks for cheering me up a little. I needed it. I love you, you know that, right?”

Carlos smiles at him softly. “I know,” he says, winking at TK. “I love you too.”

#lire's 40 to the 40s #prompt 19 #prompt 19: trying to make them laugh #tarlos #tk strand/carlos reyes #carlos reyes/tk strand #911ls #911 ls #911 lone star #mentions of death

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guardian-angle22 · 2 years ago

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TK/Carlos + Touch

↳ 3.08 In the Unlikely Event of an Emergency

#911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #tk/carlos + touch #not sure how well it comes across but you can see the tear under tk's eye in that one screenshot and when I noticed it broke my little heart #don't cry baby I can't handle it #will never be over this episode #will never be over carlos softly telling tk 'I love you' here #or his thumb softly stroking tk's leg #carlos is in peak caretaker mode here and it's so beautiful to see #someone stop me before I write an essay in the tags of my own gifset #my gifs #there's definitely a pt2 for this episode possibly pt 3 I don't even know yet there's so much to this one #episode: s03e08 in the unlikely event of an emergency #tarlos touch series

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reyescarlos · 3 years ago

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here’s a bit from a best friends to lovers to exes to lovers again, college au i've been kicking around

“Are you finally gonna tell him?”

Carlos looks away from TK out on the field with the others to Grace who wears a no-nonsense expression.

“Tell him what?”

Grace’s brow arches and she fixes him with an even stronger look. Carlos sighs in defeat, having had expected that reaction.

“I can’t, Grace. It would ruin everything. Summer’s already short enough. I don’t want to mess with what little time we’ve got.”

He falls quiet quickly as TK and Paul come over to the table. Carlos sits up straighter, doing his best to look casual, but TK eyes him. Carlos pretends not to notice.

“Wanna go for a walk with me?” TK asks him.

Carlos nods and gets up, doing his best to avoid Grace’s gaze though he can feel her staring hard.

TK takes the lead, walking towards the treeline and picking out his own path. Carlos wordlessly follows. They walk in silence for a bit and, as usual, quietness with TK is never awkward or uncomfortable. Carlos has no clue where TK is headed, but he can’t be bothered to care. It’s nice to get some one on one time with him now.

“How are things going with you and Alex?” he asks.

TK stuffs his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

“They aren’t. We broke up about a month ago.”

“Wait, what? Why didn’t you tell me?”

TK stops and takes a seat on a log, wrapping his arms around himself. Carlos watches him as he collects his thoughts. TK opens and closes his mouth before looking down.

“I guess I didn’t tell you because it’s embarrassing. I made such a big deal when he and I started dating.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s me,” Carlos says, settling in beside him.

“Yeah, exactly,” TK sighs.

Carlos frowns but doesn’t push the matter. “Are you okay?”

“Now I am but it was rough for a little while there.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”

“It was my own fault. I should have called you. I don’t know why I didn’t. I mean, I guess I just didn’t know how to talk to you about it. I tell you everything but this felt different, you know? Admitting that this guy I was really into ended up cheating on me.”

“That guy’s an idiot.”

TK frowns and shakes his head.

“I’m starting to think I’m the problem here. Every relationship I get into just tanks.”

Carlos bites his tongue. He and TK may have split years ago but he is still so deeply in love with him as if no time had passed at all. They may have broken up but as far as Carlos is concerned, their relationship wasn’t a failure.

TK rolls his eyes and sighs. “Anyway, I’m glad to be back…to be here with you again. You’re always the best part about coming home.”

TK smiles at him and takes a hold of his hand. Carlos’ thoughts race about wildly, trying to let all of TK’s words sink in.

But his mind quiets down as TK laces their fingers and sighs softly without saying another word.

Carlos looks over at him discreetly. He knows TK well enough to know that something big is on his mind. But he also knows TK won’t share it with him now. Carlos gives his hand a light squeeze, a subtle reminder to TK that he’s here, that he’s not alone.

TK’s demeanor changes then as he smiles back at Carlos and comes closer to his side, touching Carlos’ arm with his free hand. Carlos’ heart beats faster as TK rests his head against his shoulder.

Carlos presses his cheek against TK’s hair and stares out at the trees ahead of them, forever in awe of just how perfectly they still fit together.

#911 lone star #911lsfic #tarlos #carlos reyes #tk strand #ronenrubinstein #userthai #tuserpaige #tusersonia #kimmy writes

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marjansmarwani · 3 years ago

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I am deep into my amnesia fic, so here’s some of that for your Wednesday:

———

As he leaned back in his seat he looked over at Andrea to see her threading a rosary through her fingers. Her mouth moved with silent words as her fingers trailed across its length, stilling on certain beads along the way. It was too purposeful to be random, but TK couldn’t even begin to guess what it all meant. She must have felt his gaze on her because she shifted her eyes from Carlos to him with a sad smile. He returned it before nodding towards the rosary in her hands, “What does that mean?”

She followed his gaze down to the beaded chain and clutched it tighter, “It’s meant to help and channel your prayers, to provide focus while praying. I grew up watching my mother and grandmother always reaching for it in hard times, and I guess it became a habit. Each bead represents something,” she continued, holding it up for him to see, “and you follow the path around it, saying the prayers for each spot as you go.”

“Sound complicated,” he noted with a raised eyebrow.

She shrugged, “I’ve been doing it for so long that it’s all muscle memory now. I don’t even have to think about it. What about you?” she asked, changing the topic, “you were raised Jewish, any prayers for something like this?”

TK blew out a breath and looked down at their joined hands, shifting his grasp so he could run his finger across Carlos’s knuckles, “I was never a very good Jew,” he admitted. “I didn’t have the attention span to sit through Temple when I was younger, and making it to Hebrew School got harder after the divorce and shared custody, so my Mom eventually gave up and I then pretty much fell out of practice. I remember the name of one—the Mi Sheberach, I think—but I don’t know the words. My mom would have known,” he added softly, squeezing Carlos’s hand a little tighter as a shield against the grief.

It was a thought he had been trying to avoid, but the reality was staring him in the face: he couldn’t handle losing Carlos so soon after losing his mother. He doubted he could handle losing Carlos at all, but the two people he loved the most so close to each other was too much.

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor pulled him from his thoughts and a moment later he was being pulled into a warm hug.

“We have to keep the faith, mijo,” she told him softly, holding him tight in her arms. Both her words and the familiarity of a mother’s hug brought tears to his eyes but he blinked them away, clearing his throat as he nodded.

“You’re right,” he told her, offering a weak smile as she pulled away to look at him. “He’s never given up on us, after all.”

The moment was broken by the sound of Andrea’s phone ringing in her seat. She released TK and stepped towards her chair, picking up the phone and reading the caller id with a relieved sigh.

“It’s Gabriel,” she announced. “I’m going to go tell him.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” TK offered, even though the thought of stepping away from Carlos's side made his heartbeat quicken in panic.

She waved him off, “I’d rather know you’re here with him. Keep reminding him what he has to come back to, mijo, that’s more than enough.”

He nodded to her as she slipped from the room and watched her disappear down the hall before turning his attention back to Carlos.

“You heard your mom,” he told him softly, squeezing their linked hands, “you need to come back to us, Carlos. We’re not ready to live without you yet.”

#wip wednesday #my fic previews #if I got any of the Jewish stuff wrong I’m sorry #I wrote this part yesterday and haven’t had a chance to have my friend check it for accuracy #what you see here is based completely on my very general knowledge and google #it will be as accurate as I can make it before posting the actual fic though #911 lone star #tk strand #andrea reyes

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bellakitse · 4 years ago

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To Love is to Know You

“Carlitos got hurt at work,” she whispers, her face pale and frightened. “He got shot, and they are rushing him to the hospital.”

When Carlos gets hurt on the job, his parents find out about the important parts of his life he’s been keeping from them, mainly the man he’s in love with.

Gabriel Reyes' POV

*there is accidental outing in this since this isn’t how Carlos planned on telling his parents.

6.3k

They’ve settled in for the night and are in the middle of watching a movie their son recommended when the phone rings.

“Carlos really likes this?” he questions skeptically as more blood goes spraying across the screen.

His wife chuckles at his tone even as she winces at the scream the protagonist lets out for the 100th time.

“He’s young, Gabriel. I don’t think we’re actually supposed to like what Carlitos likes,” she tells him as she leans across the couch, reaching for her phone. She turns to him with a smile as she shows him the caller ID. “Hablando del diablo,” she says fondly before pressing talk on their son calling.

“Tell him I’m questioning his choices,” Gabriel jokes, pausing the movie as Andrea says hello with a smile. He watches as that smile quickly drops, his heart seizing in his throat as she lets out a gasp and a shaky ‘what?’ to whoever she’s speaking to. It’s obvious now that it’s not their boy.

He waits for her to end the call with a fearful ‘we’ll be there soon’ before she turns to him with tears in her eyes.

Even before she speaks, he knows, and his hands shake as they reach for hers.

“Carlitos got hurt at work,” she whispers, her face pale and frightened. “He got shot, and they are rushing him to the hospital.”

֎֎֎

The drive to the hospital is both short and the longest drive Gabriel Reyes has ever had behind the wheel. Next to him, Andrea grips the rosary his mama gave her after they got married. She doesn’t pray, though, and he thinks she’s too worried to remember any prayer at the moment.

“He’s going to be okay,” he tells her, his voice rougher than he would typically use with his sweetheart, but he can see her starting to spiral, and he needs her to focus on his voice and not on all the troubling thoughts he knows are running through her head at the moment. “Carlos is young and strong. He’s going to be fine, he –”

“Is our baby boy,” she whispers, looking at him with those big brown eyes, so like Carlos’ when he was little, looking at him to make everything okay.

“El va estar bien, amor,” he tells her softly, willing himself to believe it too.

He pulls into the hospital parking lot. They quickly exit the car, holding hands as they rush towards the doors and the front desk. He’s sure they both look a fright as they ask the girl behind the counter for information.

“Mr. and Mrs. Reyes,” calls out a tired voice to them, and when they turn around, they find a familiar-looking young man with brown hair and green eyes standing before them in an EMS uniform.

Gabriel is struck by his eyes. They’re wide, the worry in them plain to see, and it’s obvious he’s been crying by how pink and puffy they are.

“I’ve been waiting for you both; I didn’t want you to get lost,” he tells them, pointing to a door at the far end of the hall to the left. “We’re in there.”

“How’s Carlitos?” his wife asks at the same time as he says. “We’ve met you before.”

“Uh – yes – you have, sir. I’m TK,” he answers with a grimace. Gabriel knows it is the young man’s effort to smile but just can’t. “We met at the farmer’s market about nine months ago.”

TK turns to Andrea, his expression softening instantly. “They took Carlos to the back when we got here, ma’am, but we haven’t heard anything yet.”

“What happened?” he asks TK and is struck again by how expressive his eyes are. Gabriel sees pain, fear, frustration, and anger cross his face.

“We were answering a call to a disturbance; a man was threatening to set fire to his ex-bosses place and was holding them hostage inside. He was armed, so Carlos and the rest of APD went in first,” TK takes a pause, swallowing hard, and Gabriel is struck by how the young man is keeping it together when it’s undeniable that it’s difficult for him to do so. “Shots were exchanged, and the suspect was neutralized but not before he hit Carlos.”

“Where?” he asks, hoping against hope that his son was wearing his vest. TK’s face, scared and apologetic, tells him it doesn’t matter.

“T – the,” TK clears his throat, lifting a hand to run through his hair. Gabriel catches the slight shake of it. It’s not the only thing he spots on them. Though mostly clean, Gabriel notices specks of blood on them. Looking him over once more, he sees some on his uniform too. “The neck, sir.”

Andrea lets out a gasp, bringing her hand to her mouth to try and muffle the sound.

“You worked on him,” Gabriel realizes. He needs to focus on something other than the information they’ve just been given.

“Yes,” TK answers, biting down on his lip to the point that Gabriel wants to wince at how painful it looks. Given the redness of his mouth, the kid has probably been doing it a while now. “My Captain didn’t want it to be me – ” TK stops.

He takes a breath, collecting himself. “We stabilized him on the field and then brought him over. My Captain is here if you want to speak with her while we wait for the doctors.”

They follow the young man down the hall into a private room, and Gabriel is shocked to see how full it is with first responders, most still in uniform like TK. Everyone seems to turn to look at them when they walk in.

“These are Carlos’ parents,” TK explains to the crowd before turning to a tall woman with a sympathetic but no-nonsense look on her face. “Captain Vega, could you – ” he gestures towards them.

The Captain nods, standing from her seat to walk over to them. She has a bag with her that she hands over to TK.

“Nancy brought your stuff from your locker,” she says to the kid with a kind smile. She places her hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Why don’t you go change while I speak with Carlos’ parents.”

TK nods, looking relieved. “Yeah, Cap, thanks.” He turns towards them, looking like he wants to say something else but doesn’t. Instead, he gives them a small nod and walks away, leaving them with his Captain.

Gabriel focuses on her, reaching out to hold his wife’s hand as Captain Vega goes through the emergency in more detail. She’s compassionate but honest as she breaks down her assessment of Carlos’s injuries on the scene and their handling of it.

“TK is one of the finest medics I have ever worked with,” she tells them, with something akin to pride in her voice. “And it’s Carlos. He wasn’t about to lose him,” she continues softly, knowing. “We got him here, and they’ve had him in the back for the last hour. I’m sure they’ll come out and tell us something soon. All we can do now is wait, unfortunately.”

“And pray,” Andrea whispers thickly.

“Never a bad idea,” she says with a small, understanding smile. She looks away from them when someone calls her name, an older man in uniform walking towards them.

“Tommy, any word? Where’s TK?” he asks, rushed.

“Nothing yet,” she answers the man whose uniform says, Captain Strand. “And TK is changing. We didn’t want him to still be in the uniform that – “ she pauses, her eyes drifting to them.

“Right,” Captain Strand nods before his blue eyes turn towards them. Gabriel watches as he quickly recognizes who they are. “Mr. and Mrs. Reyes?” he questions, exhaling loudly when he answers him with a nod.

“Owen Strand, TK’s dad,” he says, extending his hand to Andrea first and then him. “Nice to finally meet you. I’m sorry it can’t be under better circumstances.”

Gabriel cocks his head at the peculiar comment.

“You work with our son?” Andrea asks politely, probably trying to distract herself from the worry she’s feeling.

“Often,” Owen gives them an honest smile. “He’s one hell of a police officer, good instincts, good head on his shoulders, strong,” he tells them intentionally. “He’s going to come through this just fine.”

Gabriel appreciates the comment, if anything, because it makes Andrea smile for the first time since they heard the news.

“Why don’t we sit down,” Owen continues. “We’re going to be here a while,” he points towards three firefighters with the same 126 insignia he has on his clothes, and they quickly get up, giving them the space. “Maybe we can get you some coffee or tea?”

He shakes his head but nods towards Andrea. “Some tea might be good for your nerves, vieja.”

Andrea nods absently, and Owen turns his head towards the trio who gave them their seats. “Strickland, Marwani, Chavez – “

“On it, Cap,” says the young Latino whose chest tag says, Chavez. “We’ll get for everyone.”

Owen offers the kid a grateful smile. “Get TK a sandwich. I know he hasn’t eaten.”

“He might not want to,” says the other man in the group with a deliberate look.

“We’ll sit on him and force him if we have to,” answers the young woman in the headscarf with a glint in her eyes that tells him she’s not joking. Gabriel watches them leave the room.

“They’re good kids,” Owen comments, catching his gaze. “They care about Carlos very much,” he says with a soft laugh. “Probably because he’s always feeding them when they hang out at his place.”

Andrea smiles at the comment, but Gabriel finds it curious. He doesn’t find it strange that his son would be welcoming. Like his mother, Carlos has always strived to make everyone feel at home. He is just surprised that his son is so close with this particular firehouse and its members.

TK comes back into the room in a hoodie and sweats, looking around. Gabriel watches as his eyes land on them before moving over to his father. He watches as the kid’s shoulders drop at the sight of his dad and quickly makes his way over, almost plowing into him as Captain Strand stands with his arms open, circling them around his boy.

“He’s gonna be okay,” he hears him whisper into his son’s ear. “Carlos wouldn’t leave you, you know that.”

Gabriel takes a sharp breath at the words; he looks over at his wife, seeing that her eyes have gone wide as she stares at the father and son with a newfound gaze, and he knows she’s caught it too.

Before they can come to terms with what it might mean, a doctor in green-colored scrubs walks in with a manila folder in hand. “I’m looking for Officer Reyes’ family?” he questions, startling as everyone stands or looks over at him.

Gabriel is surprised himself but warmed by the idea that so many people care about his son. “Over here,” he calls the doctor over. “We’re his parents.”

The doctor nods in response, crossing the distance between them until he’s standing in front of them, TK and his father joining in. “We’ve stabilized your son enough to move him,” the doctor starts. “He’s in the O.R. now; we’re repairing the damage. He was lucky that the bullet didn’t hit his carotid artery.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Andrea rushes to ask, fear coloring her question.

“We’re doing everything we can, ma’am,” the doctor answers softly with a sympathetic look. “He’s holding strong and was brought in quickly.”

“When can we see him?” he asks, his heart dropping at the shake of the doctor’s head.

“It’s going to be a while,” he answers. “We’re not sure how long it will be in the O.R., and then in recovery, it’s going to be a couple of hours.”

Gabriel feels the room deflate around him at the answer and feels the same.

“For now, I need his next of kin to sign off on some waivers,” the doctor continues as he looks inside his folder, reading out of it. “Who is Tyler Kennedy Strand?” he asks, the question filling the room with sudden tension.

“Uhh – me,” TK stammers, his eyes going to him and Andrea awkwardly. “But his parents – “

The doctor cuts him off with a shake of his head. “Officer Reyes’ work forms have you as the one with the power of attorney over any medical decisions on his behalf. You are aware of this, yes?”

TK looks pained and uncomfortable, apologetic even as he looks at Andrea before nodding. “Yes,” he says softly. “Carlos and I spoke about it a few months ago.”

“Then I need you to come with me, Mr. Strand,” the doctor answers, his eyes shifting over to them as well. “It’s just a formality, you understand.”

TK nods again, gesturing for the doctor to go first, following him out of the room, leaving the rest of them in silence, and he and Andrea stunned.

“They’re involved,” he states, not sure to who, but he catches Captain Strand’s slight wince.

“TK will explain when he comes back in,” he assures them, though Gabriel isn’t sure what he would have to explain. It’s pretty obvious the kid is someone important enough to his son that he would leave him in charge of his care if anything happened to him, and he and his wife know nothing about him.

Andrea reaches for his hand. When he looks at her, he sees the same confusion and hurt in her eyes he’s feeling. He squeezes it reassuringly as they retake their seats, neither knowing what to say.

They stay like that, silently waiting for TK or the doctor to come back. Owen walks away from them, drifting towards the other Captain.

After a few minutes, the ones who walk in are the trio of firefighters the Captain sent out for a snack.

“Te de manzanilla,” Chavez says with a boyish smile as he hands the cup of tea to Andrea. “My Abuela says it’s good for nerves.”

Andrea takes it but doesn’t drink right away. “Thank you – um?”

“Oh! I’m Mateo,” he answers before pointing at the other two who are finishing handing out bottles of water and coffees. “That’s Paul and Marjan. We’re friends of Carlos,” he says with another friendly smile as they come over to them.

“Nice to meet you all,” Andrea answers, elbowing him in the side to do the same.

Gabriel checks out, his mind drifting while his wife picks up the slack and chats with the trio, exchanging small talk. He only tunes in when Mateo asks about their new filly.

“You know about Sally?” he questions, frowning, confused. He gets a few nods from all of them and smiles.

“Carlos showed us pictures of her the last time we were over at his and TK’s place for dinner.”

Gabriel can’t help the sharp breath he takes at the comment.

“They live together?” Andrea asks, shocked, her voice above a whisper.

“Oh,” Paul says softly, his eyes widening with realization at their lack of knowledge. He exchanges worried looks with the young woman Mateo called Marjan. Both open their mouth as if to speak and then stop at a loss for words. Luckily for them, TK walks back into the room, making his way towards them.

“Guys, could you give me a second with Mr. and Mrs. Reyes?” he asks politely but firmly.

“Yeah, of course, man,” Paul says quickly, while Marjan tugs on Mateo to stand, moving away. Paul starts to follow them, only to stop and look at TK, speaking again with an apologetic look on his face. “We’re sorry, we didn’t know – “

TK waves him off, a half a smile on his tired face. “Don’t worry about it, Paul.”

Paul gives him a nod, looks at them, and nods again before walking away.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions,” TK tells them softly, biting down on his lip for a moment before taking a breath, straightening his shoulders. “I’ll do my best to answer them. Should we find somewhere a little more private?”

He looks over at his wife and finds her studying TK with a curious eye. He’s not surprised. He’s more than curious himself about this man who is important enough in his son’s life to be making decisions of life and death for him and apparently living with him. “I think that might be best.”

TK nods mostly to himself, motioning for them to follow him.

He leads them out into the hallway and into another room that Gabriel realizes is the chapel.

“Is this okay?” TK questions nervously. “I don’t want to be disrespectful,” he gestures towards the altar.

“It’s fine, TK,” Andrea assures him.

They take a seat together towards the back of the room, TK sitting across from them.

Nobody says anything for a long moment. He sits watching TK as he taps his foot, and Andrea plays with her hands, struck by the similar nervous motions. He recognizes as TK looks at them with a worried wrinkle between his brow, he doesn’t know where to start, and Gabriel is struck by how young he looks like this. It reminds him of Carlos’ nervous habits growing up, so concerned with disappointing them.

“How long have you and our son been together?” he questions, ripping off the bandaid.

“We’ve been dating for over a year,” he answers honestly, wincing when Andrea lets out a shocked sound. “But we’ve known each other for over a year and a half. It took a while for us to get – us, right.”

“A year?” Andrea questions, surprised and more than a little sad. “He’s kept this from us for a year?”

“He didn’t mean to,” TK rushes to explain – to defend their son to them, Gabriel realizes. He stops looking nervous, and Gabriel can honestly feel the wave of protectiveness coming off the young man.

While the part of him that isn’t still shocked at this sudden news is pleased that Carlos has found someone obviously loyal to him, another part of him is at a loss at being someone this young man thinks he needs to protect his son from. It leaves an unpleasant feeling in his stomach he tries to push down before he reacts in a way that he’ll regret later.

“Then what did he mean?” he questions, trying to understand. “Because if you guys have been dating for a year, that means you two were together when we met you at the market, and he called you a friend from work.”

He feels bad as his words cause the kid to flinch, and a small cynical smile twists his lips upward for a second.

“Yeah, that caused a big fight between us,” he answers dryly. “Look, this is something you need to talk about with Carlos when he comes to. We both knew it was a long time coming, and trust me, he’s been working up the nerve to tell you both about us.”

“Why would he need to work up the nerve?” Andrea questions while Gabriel watches as TK’s eyes flash, his hands curling for a moment. He’s struck by the fleeting anger he sees there – at them.

“Because you’re both more traditional, and he didn’t want to rub your noses in our relationship,” he answers tightly, making Andrea gasp.

Gabriel feels his hackles raise at the resentment he hears in the words. “Hey now, you don’t get – “

“Carlos’ own words,” TK interrupts, his voice sharp enough to stop him. TK stops too, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I apologize,” he starts again, his voice calmer. “It’s not my place at all, and Carlos needs to be the one to explain this to you.”

Gabriel exchanges a glance with his wife, letting out a sigh when she gives him a serious look. He turns towards TK again, taking a calming breath of his own. “But he’s not here right now, and we’d like to understand.”

TK lets out a sigh, nodding at them after a moment. “You’re right,” he agrees quietly, running a hand through his hair. “I just really wish he was here, though,” he pauses, the pain and love in his eyes as he speaks striking a core with him. This man loves his son. That much is clear.

“Okay, first things first. Carlos loves you both so much,” he tells them reassuringly. “He speaks of both of you with so much respect and admiration. Please don’t doubt that for one second. He didn’t keep us a secret from you because he doesn’t love or respect you.”

“Then why?” Andrea asks, trying to understand.

TK presses his lips together, giving her a helpless shrug of his shoulder. “Because he was scared of upsetting you, of disturbing the tentative peace that the three of you have had since he rocked your world by telling you he was gay at 17, and then none of you ever spoke about it again. He didn’t want to disappoint you.”

By TK’s expression, Gabriel knows that he hasn’t just spoken with any malice, yet he still feels his words hit him like a punch.

“But – that’s,” he stumbles at a loss for words. “Carlos could never disappoint us,” he looks at Andrea to find her with tears in her eyes. “We love our son.”

TK gives him a smile; it’s kind and understanding. “I don’t doubt that,” he tells them, looking at Andrea. “He’s so easy to love, of course, you love him.”

“You love him,” Andrea says in awe, still crying, but it feels different than before, almost happy in the middle of the hurt.

TK’s eyes fill with tears; they spill over even as he gives them a bright smile. “More than I have ever loved anyone in my life, ma’am. He is everything to me.”

Gabriel hears how much he means it in his voice and instantly remembers something from earlier. “You worked on him at the scene,” he exhales over a dull ache in his chest at the thought. “Jesus Christ, kid, how did you – “

“The worst moment of my life,” TK whispers, losing his smile, his bottom lip trembling. “And life has thrown some curveballs my way,” he inhales deeply in an effort to control his emotions. “But I wasn’t about to lose him, not like that and not now. We have our whole lives ahead of us, and I plan to spend mine with your son.”

Gabriel hears the conviction and the subtle threat he’s issuing them. He’s telling them he’s not going anywhere, and while a small part of him wants to be annoyed at the warning, Gabriel finds himself mostly impressed. He finds himself liking the kid despite the situation.

“You love him so much,” Andrea whispers, shaking her head to herself. Knowing his wife, she’s mourning the fact that they’ve missed out on seeing it. “And he loves you?”

TK nods quickly. “He never lets me doubt it, not for one single second,” he swallows before another smile takes over his face, soft and involuntary. “He’s wonderful.”

“I’m so sorry we’ve missed it,” she tells him, and Gabriel smiles to himself at how easy he can still read her. “It was never our intent to make Carlos feel like he couldn’t share with us his life. When he told us he was gay, yes, it was a surprise, but we never loved him less,” she frowns, letting out a soft breath. “We wanted him to feel like nothing had changed, and instead, we made him feel like he couldn’t talk to us.”

“But he can,” he continues for Andrea, hoping TK will understand.

Andrea nods in agreement. “He can,” she repeats. “We want to be part of the life he’s building with you.”

TK smiles. It’s wobbly but iridescent as it lights up the room. “He – we would like that very much,” he tells them, chuckling softly. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to know you both. You need to tell him when he wakes up.”

Andrea looks fearful again as she turns from TK to him and back again. “What if – “

“No,” TK answers resolutely. He holds out his hand for Andrea, covering it when she places it in his. “Carlos is going to be fine. He’s not leaving us.”

Gabriel watches them hold each other’s hands, his wife taking comfort from the man in love with their son, and hopes, for all their sakes, that he will turn out to be right.

֎֎֎

The next three days are the longest of Gabriel’s life. After over seven hours of surgery and recovery, they’re allowed to see a sleeping Carlos.

If there was any doubt in his mind about TK’s feelings for his son, they’re wiped out the moment he sees him at his bedside. The way he takes his hand in his, holding it for dear life as he whispers in his ear that he loves him and that he’s there, that they all are.

They wait, hours and hours they wait for Carlos to wake up. The doctors tell them the surgery was successful, and now they just have to wait for Carlos’ body to recover enough for him to wake up. They’re not sure when that’ll be.

He walks into his son’s hospital room after taking a call from work to find TK alone with Carlos, his wife nowhere in sight.

“You know, sweetheart, if this is payback for the time I got shot and ended up in a coma, then message received,” TK talks to a sleeping Carlos, bringing his hand to his lips. “You can wake up now because I’ve learned my lesson.”

“You were shot?” he questions, raising an eyebrow, wondering exactly what these two have been through.

TK blinks up at him. He lowers Carlos’ hand but doesn’t let go. “Yeah,” he nods, clearing his throat. “Before Carlos and I officially got together, it was a house disturbance gone wrong, an accident, but I got hit in the chest and ended up in an eight-day coma. Carlos had to sit through it, the eight worse days of his life, he likes to remind me,” he turns back to Carlos, his expression softening. “I really didn’t need to learn the hard way how this feels.”

Gabriel makes a sound at the back of his throat. He takes the seat he’d been occupying next to Andrea, finding her purse still there.

“She went to the restroom and to get something to drink,” TK tells him. “I told her I would stay with Carlos.”

Gabriel nods in understanding, and the room goes quiet as neither says anything else. They both just watch Carlos, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest. His eyes stray to TK —his focus on Carlos, the way he reaches out to touch his skin like he can’t bear letting him go for a moment for fear he’ll slip away. The last few days, he and Andrea have gotten to know the kid better, along with the rest of his crew.

Their love for each other and their love for Carlos is evident in every gesture and kind word they have to say about him. It still hurts him to know he and Andrea have missed so much. As he laid in bed holding his crying wife, more than a few tears slipped his own eyes at the lost time. Every day that passes, he promises to fix it when his son wakes up.

“You know, when he was around ten, he convinced his cousin to help him up the stallion at the farm,” he starts telling him, lost in the memory. “And this was a rough horse, even I didn’t ride him much, but he got on, and the thing, of course, sent him flying,” he shakes his head to himself. “He was knocked out maybe five minutes, but they were the longest five minutes of my life.”

“Was he okay?” TK questions, concerned even though it obviously turned out okay in the end.

“A fractured arm,” he answers, chuckling. “As soon as the cast was off, he was right back at it – this time bribing the horse with apples, carrots, and beetroots until he won him over. By the end, it would only let Carlos ride him. He was so smug about it, tipping his hat at us as he rode him.”

TK grins from ear to ear. “Tell me there are pictures of him in the hat.”

Gabriel stands, pulling out his wallet. He fishes out an old worn picture, passing it over to TK. He watches as the boy takes gentle care, running his index finger over the image as he smiles down at it.

“Damn, that’s cute,” he murmurs, handing back the picture after a moment longer. “You know, he won me over with patience too.”

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at the comment, waiting for him to continue.

“When he and I met, I wasn’t in a good place emotionally,” TK starts to tell him as he looks back at Carlos, reaching up to brush his hair back. “I’d gotten out of a relationship that left me messed up, and I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I hurt his feelings at the beginning, and honestly, he should have just cut his losses.”

He looks over at him. “But Carlos doesn’t give up on people, especially when they’re hurting, so he became my friend, someone I could trust with the not-so-great parts of me. He never judged. He just cared about me more, making sure I knew that I was worth the effort even when I wasn’t so sure of that myself,” he smiles as he retakes Carlos’ hand. “He loves me even when I don’t always love myself.”

“I’m sure you do the same for him,” Gabriel answers. Even with Carlos asleep, he’s seen enough to know the two of them genuinely love each other. Now he just wants his son to wake up so he can see it for real.

“I try,” TK answers. “He makes it easy.”

“Do you think he’ll forgive us?” he can’t help but ask, the question playing in his head the last few days as he learned more of the parts of his life Carlos felt the need to keep to himself for their comfort.

TK frowns as he looks at him, shaking his head slowly. “Carlos will tell you there is nothing to forgive. He doesn’t blame you.”

“He should, though,” he can’t help but argue, feeling frustrated, angry tears at the back of his throat. Fear clawing its way back after three days of waiting for his boy to open his eyes and wondering if it will ever happen. “He was 17, a kid, scared but brave as he told us his truth, and while we accepted it at that moment, we didn’t make sure he knew that it would always be okay with us. That’s on us. We should have done better.”

“Do better now, Gabriel,” TK says to him quietly, shrugging his shoulder when he looks at him, his expression nothing but kind. “Forgive yourself, because Carlos never blamed you to begin with, and do better now.”

“Are you always so wise, kid?” he asks, smiling when TK lets out a bark of laughter.

“That is the last word anyone who knows me would use to describe me,” he shakes his head, still giggling. “Usually, it’s stubborn or reckless. Carlos has been known to call me a brat quite a few times,” he says fondly as he looks down at the bed.

“Because you always get your way,” Carlos rasps out, eyes still closed.

Gabriel isn’t sure who’s gasp is louder, his or TK’s as they both stand to get closer.

“Carlos? Sweetheart?” TK asks, cautious but hopeful, and Gabriel holds his breath as he waits to see if Carlos is genuinely back with them.

It takes a minute, maybe two, maybe three, but slowly Carlos opens his eyes.

“Hi, sweetheart,” TK whispers, tears falling even as he smiles widely down at Carlos.

Gabriel watches as his son frowns as he tries to weakly reach up to touch TK’s face. TK helps him, lifting his hand and holding it against his cheek.

“Don’t – cry, Ty,” Carlos gets out slowly, brushing his thumb under TK’s eye, earning a wet laugh from him.

“I love you so much,” he says to him, and though he’s obviously tired and in pain, the smile Carlos gives TK is the brightest Gabriel has ever seen.

“Love you too, amor,” his son whispers back to his boyfriend, sounding just as hopelessly in love with him. It reminds Gabriel of him and Andrea, and he can’t help the small sound that escapes his throat.

“Dad – “ Carlos says softly, surprised as his eyes find him; they shift back to TK, concern coloring his expression.

“It’s okay, babe. I promise,” TK assures him with a smile as he gives his hand a squeeze.

“It is mijo,” Gabriel tells him, hoping to wipe away the slight fear he sees in his son’s eyes. He never wants to be the cause for that look again.

TK looks over to him, smiling at him reassuringly, and Gabriel remembers what he said to him moments before Carlos woke up. Forgive and be better.

“I’m gonna go find Andrea and a doctor,” TK declares, giving him a nod. He turns back to Carlos, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

TK steps away from Carlos, squeezing Gabriel’s arm as he walks by him before leaving the room, leaving him alone with his son.

Turning back to Carlos, he finds him still looking concerned as he stares at him, and that simply won’t do for him. He shifts over to where TK had been standing, now next to Carlos. “How do you feel?” he questions gently, getting a tiny shrug back.

“Tired,” Carlos gets out, his voice raspy. “Thirsty.”

“Oh! Of course,” Gabriel says quickly, turning to grab the pitcher of water on the bedside counter and a cup. Filling it, he turns back to Carlos, raising his bed a bit before bringing the straw to his lips. “Slowly, mijo.”

Carlos does as he asks, all the while looking at him. After he’s had his fill, Gabriel pulls the cup away, putting it back on the counter. He reaches out to his son, running a hand over his curls like he would do when he was a little boy.

“You scared the hell out of us, kid,” he whispers, swallowing hard as the last couple of days catch up to him. “We were so scared we were gonna lose you.”

Carlos leans into his touch. As he closes his eyes, a tear rolls down his cheek. “Sorry, pop.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Gabriel shakes his head. He takes Carlos’ hand. “These last few days have shown your mom and me how much of your life we have missed, and we’re so sorry.”

“Dad – “ Carlos tries. “I – “

“We messed up, Carlos,” he continues, needing to get it out. “We thought we were keeping things normal by not making a big deal out of you coming out, and instead, what we did was make you believe that you needed to keep parts of your life a secret for us to be comfortable. But our comfort isn’t the most important thing. Your happiness is, and as long as you’re happy, so are we.”

Carlos’ eyes fill with more tears, and Gabriel is struck by how young he seems as he looks up at him hopeful.

“We met your boyfriend,” Gabriel chuckles fondly. “I mean, obviously. He’s pretty special, Carlitos. You picked a good one.”

Carlos laughs. It’s wet from tears but joyful. “I picked the best one.”

Gabriel smiles at the pride he hears in his son’s voice. “We’d like to get to know him, son,” he says. It’s a hope and a request in one. “Your mom and I, we’d like to know him and you,” he swallows hard as his eyes burn. “We love you so much, but loving someone isn’t always knowing them. If it’s okay with you, we’d like a chance to fix that now.”

Carlos stares at him, mouth open, and there is the slightest tremble of his bottom lip.

“Carlitos.”

He and Carlos turn their heads to the door where Andrea and TK stand together. Carlos smiles at his mom, the smile growing when he notices that she’s holding hands with TK.

“Mami,” he says softly.

Andrea walks towards them, tugging TK along with her. Reaching the bed, she reaches out to touch his face. “Baby,” she whispers, shaking her head as she tries not to cry. “Please never scare us like this again.”

Carlos lets out an amused huff, closing his eyes for a second. “I’ll try, Ma.”

“Good,” Andrea grins at him, amused by his tone. “And you better be ready to be smothered for a while. TK and I have been making plans. We’re not letting you out of our sight.”

“We have a shifts chart,” TK teases him, sharing a grin with Andrea.

Gabriel watches with amusement as Carlos looks scared again, this time at the team he sees being created before his very eyes. He laughs, happy and relieved, when Carlos turns to him for support.

“I wouldn’t fight it, kid,” he warns him. “You know how your mother is, and your boyfriend seems just as bad; just accept it. They’re bonded. We all have.”

Carlos looks around at all three of them, the contentment he sees in his son’s expression, a blessing, and Gabriel knows it’s going to be okay. There is still a lot of time that he and Andrea will have to make up for. Conversations that will still need to be had.

But his son is alive; he’s safe, happy, and in love with a good man. He and Andrea haven’t missed it all, and they don’t plan to miss anything else when it comes to their boy ever again.

Carlos grins at him. “I think I’m okay with that, dad.”

Gabriel smiles back. He’s okay with it too.

#911 lone star #tarlos #911 lone star fic #tarlos fic #tk x carlos #my writing

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morganaspendragonss · 3 years ago

Note

“Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.” With Carlos’ the one wearing the sweater!

holly's august extravaganza day 19: whatever here that's left of me (is yours)

thank you!

34. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.” (from the fluff section of this list)

ao3 | 1.4k | hurt/comfort, post 2.12, supportive tk, softness

The morning after the fire, it’s TK who wakes up first, and for once it makes perfect sense. Carlos had barely been able to sleep, and though it hadn’t exactly been a picnic for TK either, he’s not the one going through the grief of losing years of his life all at once. Not to the extent that Carlos is, anyway.

TK sighs and rolls his head to look at Carlos’s sleeping face. He runs his thumb softly over the crease on his brow, wishing the simple motion could smooth it away and make everything okay again. Make it so last night never happened, and this is just a normal morning in their own bed, in their own house.

He tries to pretend for a little while, but the illusion is shattered all too quickly by a soft knocking at the bedroom door. Carefully, TK removes Carlos’s arm from where it is loosely slung over his hips and gets out of bed, checking to make sure he hasn’t disturbed him before padding across the room.

He keeps the door only cracked open to prevent too much light from getting into the room. His dad is on the other side, smiling sadly, a large box in his hands and several bags at his feet. TK braces himself for a joke; his dad has always been the type to fall back on humour in difficult situations, but he finds himself pleasantly surprised.

“I meant to give these to you guys last night,” he says, lifting the box slightly, “but things were so crazy that… Anyway. You left some clothes here when you moved out, so I figured you might want them.”

“Thanks, Dad.” TK takes the box from him, glancing down into it. There’s not much—a couple of hoodies, some screwed up t-shirts and button ups, a pair of sweats—but it’s all he has, and more than Carlos does. He sighs softly, then turns back into the bedroom and places the box down by the wardrobe. Carlos is still asleep when he glances at him, and all TK wants to do is curl up beside him again.

But when he goes to close the door, he instead finds himself with an arm full of bags.

“Those are from the crew,” he dad explains. “Paul stopped by with them earlier; he said to tell you that if there was anything you two needed, they all want to help out.”

TK nods. He’d thought the crew might do something like this, though that doesn’t make him any less grateful.

His dad shuffles awkwardly, clearly finding the silence uncomfortable. “Mateo wanted to contribute too, but we told him not to. You know, because—”

“Because he’s only just replaced his own clothes, I know.”

“Yeah.”

Silence again, and TK loves his dad, but he can’t deal with this right now. Guilt lies thick in the air, somehow worse than last night, but TK is in no mood to address it now. Maybe later, when they’ve had time to think about it all, but right now he’s too tired. Besides, there’s no way he’s getting into what he’s sure will become an argument when Carlos is sleeping just feet away.

TK takes a step back. “Carlos is still asleep,” he says. “So I’m just gonna…” He tips his head back, gesturing into the bedroom, and his dad understands, also moving back.

“Right, of course. I, uh, I have my follow-up appointment at the hospital today, but I’ll see you guys later. Maybe then we can talk?”

“Sure.”

Without waiting for an answer, TK gently shuts the door and turns to place the bags on top of the box. Carlos stirs when he climbs back in bed, his eyelids cracking open.

“Did something happen?” he mumbles, trying to push himself upright.

TK shushes him. “It was just my dad dropping some clothes off for us,” he whispers. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

Carlos drops back off within seconds, TK watching the steady rhythm of his chest and listening to his soft breaths. He reaches out and lightly runs his fingers through Carlos’s hair, pushing back a few stray curls. It’s almost like any other morning, so TK closes his eyes and pretends for a little while longer.

TK would have been happy to stay in bed with Carlos all day, but eventually the grumbling of his stomach becomes too insistent to ignore. He heaves himself up once more and selects a shirt at random from the box of his old stuff, wrinkling his nose when he sees what it is. He’d left this one behind on purpose, the print too much for him to care what happened to the shirt. The same goes for most of the clothes in the box, but it’s not like he’s spoiled for choice, so it’ll have to do.

There’s a pair of jeans his size in one of the bags, so TK bundles everything up and trudges to the bathroom. He’s been running into fires his entire working life; he’s perfected the art of getting rid of unwanted smells, but this time is different. This time, no matter how many times he washes himself, the smoke and grime still feels like it’s sticking to his skin, a permanent cloud around him.

TK blames his dad’s shampoos, because it’s easier than admitting he’s imagining it.

Once he’s showered and dressed, he heads to the kitchen to make breakfast. Carlos joins him not ten minutes later, still looking exhausted, though he attempts a wan smile when their eyes meet. TK returns it and kisses him on the cheek, passing him a cup of coffee.

He studies his boyfriend as they stand in silence, his heart breaking at what he sees. Carlos is a big guy, but right now he’s never looked smaller, shoulders hunched and his eyes darting around the kitchen, as if taking it all in. They’ve hung out here together before, especially right after TK got shot, but it must feel different now, knowing there’s nowhere else for them to go.

Knowing that, technically, this is now their home.

Carlos sets his mug on the counter and scrubs his hands down his face, then puls at his sleeves like he’s trying to stretch them to fit. Which… Wait.

“Are you…” TK leans closer, peering at the hoodie Carlos is wearing, and—yep. “Why are you wearing my hoodie?”

Carlos flushes and tugs at the neckline—another demonstration of how uncomfortable it must be for him to wear it. The height difference between them is miniscule, but sizing is another matter entirely; TK’s hoodie is obviously pulled tight across Carlos’s chest and it doesn’t sit right on his body, too small for his build.

“Babe,” TK starts worriedly, “was there nothing in your size from the crew? You should have said something. We can fix this, you don’t need to be uncomfortable.”

There’s a beat, and then Carlos, studiously avoiding TK’s gaze, clears his throat. “It smells like you.”

TK blinks. “What?”

“I’m wearing it because it smells like you. I don’t— The only clothes I have left of mine smell of the fire, but this is yours and… I don’t know, I guess it makes me feel safe?” He laughs nervously, pulling at the hem as though he’s going to take the hoodie off. “Pretty stupid, right?”

TK puts a hand out and stops him. “No,” he says softly. He honestly has no idea how that hoodie smells even remotely like him after a month abandoned here, but if it makes Carlos feel safe, then who is TK to argue? “Not stupid at all. You should keep it.”

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “You don’t care that I’m probably stretching it?”

“Why would I?” TK asks. “I left it here for a reason, Carlos. Plus, I’d sacrifice a thousand hoodies if I knew it would make you feel safe; one is nothing.”

It’s far from the most romantic thing TK’s ever said, but the way Carlos hugs him makes it feel like it. He presses kiss after kiss to Carlos’s cheek and the shell of his ear, comforting him like he tried to do last night.

“Besides,” he whispers after a moment, “this just means it’ll be big enough for when I inevitably steal it back from you.”

And, for the first time since the fire, Carlos laughs—really, truly laughs. The sound is muffled against TK’s shoulder, but it’s so goddamn beautiful, and TK would do anything to hear it again.

Even if that involves giving up every hoodie he owns.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #owen strand #lone star #911ls #holly's august extravaganza #fanfiction #my fanfiction #writing #my writing #anonymous

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iboatedhere · 3 years ago

Text

My take on what 2.3 should have been....

---

“I miss you.”

TK leans back on the uncomfortable cot and looks up at the dreary ceiling of the tent as he listens to Carlos tell him that he misses him too.

They’ve been fighting this fire just outside of San Angelo for nearly three weeks now. It’s the longest he and Carlos have been apart in both time and distance since they met and phone calls have been few and far between.

It’s been miserable, honestly. He’s tired and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get the smell of smoke or the layers of dirt and soot off his body and hair no matter how many times he showers.

Still, he knows he’s one of the lucky ones. There are crews here from all over Texas, surrounding states, and even a handful from Mexico who will have a more than a three and a half hour ride back home when this is all over.

“So…” TK says, “what are you wearing?”

Carlos laughs. “You sure you should ask me that?”

“Probably not,” TK says. Privacy is impossible to come by and right now there are at least fifteen other firefighters in the tent with him right now.

“I mean, I’ll tell you,” Carlos continues, “it wouldn’t take me very long to answer.”

“Fuck,” TK says softly and Carlos laughs again. “You’re gonna get me in so much trouble. I’d get up and find somewhere private but I don’t think I have the energy.”

“Is it rough out there,” Carlos asks, “are you staying safe…being careful?”

“As careful as I can be,” TK promises. “Honestly, it’s kind of boring. We do the same thing for hours and hours but it never feels like we make any progress. It’s supposed to rain at the end of the week and they told us not to count on it but I am. I can’t wait to get out of here.”

“You’re doing a good thing by being there. I’m sure everyone in that town appreciates it.”

“I know,” TK says with a sigh. “What have you been doing? Keep it PG, please, for my sake.”

“Working, mostly,” Carlos says. “I went to my Tia Lucy’s on Sunday and last week I got a call from Grace Ryder. She invited me to dinner and I got a lot of stories about Judd so if he’s ever giving you a hard time…”

“I know who to come to,” TK says with a smile.

“Exactly. I also saw your mom.”

“So you’ve got stories on me too, then?”

“So many,” Carlos says. TK can hear the smile in his voice. “We went out to lunch, it was nice. She said she hadn’t been feeling well for a few days and blamed it on the sushi she ate.”

“That makes sense.”

“Texas is not a landlocked state, I don’t know why you’re all afraid to eat fish.”

“We are miles from the ocean, babe,” TK says with a laugh. “She was feeling better though?”

“Apparently. She finished her meal and dessert with no problem. It was impressive.”

“That’s my mom,” TK says quietly. “How was Tim’s service?”

“It was nice,” Carlos tells him.

“How was Nancy?”

Carlos takes a deep breath and the guilt that TK’s been feeling about not being there grows.

“She was as expected,” Carlos answers delicately. “Michelle was there so I think that helped.”

“I feel awful that we weren’t there for her.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m sure she knows that you’d be there if you could. It’s not like you started the wildfire. Things happen.”

“It’s nice that you went.”

“I liked Tim, he was a good guy. Weird, but good.”

TK sighs and drags a hand down his face. “Have I told you that I missed you yet?”

“Once or twice.”

“How about that I love you?”

“I could always hear that again.”

“Oh, Carlos…I love you so much.”

TK lifts his head and sees Judd standing at the foot of his cot making kissing noises and batting his eyes.

“You’re so cute and I miss you so much,” Judd continues, southern drawl flattened out and rolling into something that could be considered an East coast accent. “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“Hey,” TK snaps, “you better be nice to me, Carlos had dinner with Grace.”

Judd’s face falls and TK nods.

“That’s right. That means he knows stuff which means I’m gonna know stuff.”

Judd clears his throat and squares his shoulders. “There ain’t nothing to know,” he says but his eyes dart around the tent nervously. “Anyways, you gotta hang up, Cap wants to see all of us.”

“Give me a minute.”

“Nah,” Judd says as he tugs on TK’s boots, “Cap said--.”

“Okay,” TK huffs as he sits up. “I’ll be right there.”

Judd saunters off and TK lifts the phone back to his ear.

“Babe--.”

“You have to go?”

TK sighs. “I miss you and I love you and I’ll see you soon, okay? Pray for rain.”

“I will and I love you, too.”

The rain comes in on Wednesday.

It comes down in buckets for an hour before it tapers off into a steady drizzle. The tents leak and the blowing wind reveals how drafty they are but TK’s sure he speaks for everyone when he says he’s never been happier to be cold and wet.

They crowd into one of the nicer tents that the higher ups are staying in and get the news they’ve all been waiting for. A few houses will be asked to stay behind, just in case there are any more flare ups but the majority can go home.

“We’ll head out in the morning,” Owen tells them when they break away from the larger group.

“Why not now,” TK asks and his father laughs.

“Because it’s almost midnight, everyone is exhausted and we have a three and a half hour ride back to Austin. Plus there’s still work to do. Maybe the fire is out but all this--.” He gestures to their basecamp. “This all has to get broken down. We can’t just leave in the middle of the night.” He puts his hand on TK’s shoulder. “I know you’re anxious to get home but you’re not the only one who has someone waiting. Be glad that the fire is out and that I didn’t volunteer to stay longer. Now get some sleep. We’ve got work to do in the morning.”

It’s still raining at dawn and TK skips breakfast so he can get a jump on packing up the truck and breaking down the camp.

It’s annoying, that everyone doesn’t seem to be in as big a rush as he is, and by the time they’re ready to leave, he’s managed to piss off most of the crew.

“Hey Cap,” Judd asks through the radio, “any chance we can drop your son directly off at Reyes’? It’s gettin’ a little cramped back here with his big attitude.”

“I would love that,” TK tells him, “but Carlos is working which is something he wouldn’t have been doing if we left last night.”

“You want to go straight to Carlos’,” Owen asks, “I figured my son would like to spend some time with his father now that they’re both out of danger and his mother that he hasn’t seen in weeks.”

“You son wants to get laid,” TK deadpans but at least it gets the rest of the crew laughing.

Buttercup is there to greet them when they pull into the firehouse and TK’s bad mood lifts just slightly as the dog runs straight for him.

“Hey, Buddy,” TK says as he kneels down to sink his fingers into Buttercup’s fur. “Did you miss me?”

“Your mom asked me to drop him off.” TK’s head snaps up at the sound of Carlos’ voice and it takes about half a second for TK to spring to his feet, cross the room, and throw himself into Carlos’ arms.

There’s half-hearted applause from the guys, who are both too tired and still too annoyed to really care.

“You’re here,” TK says before he pulls back and looks down at Carlos’ uniform. “But you’re working.”

“I took a little detour and I’m definitely on borrowed time right now but I wanted to see you.” Carlos pushes TK’s hair off his forehead then slides his hand down so it’s cupping his cheek. “Hi,” he says softly, “I missed you.”

“What time do you get off?”

“Seven.”

TK hums and smoothes his hands down the front of Carlos’ uniform. “I’m going to take an hour-long shower,” he says as he fiddles with Carlos’ nameplate, “then I’m going to take a nap and then I’m going to go to your place and wait for you. I would suggest eating before you get home because you’ll need your energy and we are not stopping for snacks for a long time.”

Carlos presses his lips together as he nods. “What if I wanted to work some overtime?”

TK unbuttons the top button of Carlos’ uniform. The backs of his hands brushing against his throat making his breath hitch. “I can’t tell you what to do but good luck concentrating at work while I’m in your bed and---.” He leans in, ready to whisper absolutely filthy things into Carlos’ ear when his father clears his throat behind them.

“You are still at work, TK,” he says before he nods to a flushed Carlos. “Officer Reyes, it’s good to see you.”

“Captain Strand,” Carlos answers, somehow managing to sound professional even with TK hanging off of him. “I’m glad you all made it back safely.”

“And yet none of us got this kind of greeting,” Paul says, clapping Carlos on the shoulder as he walks by.

“I don’t share,” TK calls after him. He takes a step back as Carlos’ radio chirps to life and Carlos gives him an apologetic look. “Go,” TK says, “thanks for being here.”

“I had to see you,” Carlos says. “I guess I’m gonna be seeing a lot more of you later on.”

TK laughs and leans in for a quick, work appropriate kiss. “You have no idea.”

#73K and tk has just met Carlos' parents at the farmer's market #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #wip wednesday

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