#will is a terrible gremlin of a child

[thatonepersoninthebackoftheroom]

Will: Are you there, God? It's me, Willl. IT'S ME WIIIILLLLLL

Halt: Get another apprentice, they said. It'll be funny, they said.

*Halt won't let Will risk his life in a risky move against their enemy.*

Years later

Maddie: Are you there, God? It's me, Maddie. IT'S ME MADDDDIIEEEEE.

Will: So this is how Halt felt.

[airborneice]

someeee doodles i've been doing on and off of @the-hilda-librarians-wife's oc Meiri from the fic Fireflies bc i care her

the comic is a bit from her fic and the others are just. the vibes 🤷‍♀️ don't be fooled by my stupid drawings it's a wonderful fic!!! go read it!!!!

[discordiansamba]

local man takes his adopted son and his half-demon twin brother to the beach, more at 11

"Blegh! Salty!" Shiro cackled, glancing over towards Rin. He was wiping his mouth, a look of pure disgust on his face. Yeah. Couldn't say he was surprised that he'd tried to drink the water. "You're not supposed to drink it, brat!" Shiro called out to him. "I'm going to rent a beach umbrella. Don't you dare move from that spot, got it? I'll order you if I have to!" Rin stuck out his tongue- but at least he was still there when he got back. He was crouched in the tide, making mounds of sand and snickering to himself every time they got washed away. Shiro huffed in amusement, taking a bit longer to find Yukio. He'd found a nice spot for them not far away from where Rin was playing. "Thanks, Yukio." Shiro said. "You can go play now." Yukio looked up at him. "Do I have to play with Rin-san?" "Not if you don't want to," Shiro said, planting the umbrella in the sand, "-but it would be nice. And don't forget your goggles!" Yukio heaved a relieved sigh, digging his goggles out from the beach bag. He carefully put his glasses away in the case Nagatomo had also packed- the man thought of everything- and pulled out a plastic baggie. Going shell collecting, he guessed. "Have fun!" Shiro said. "Don't stray too far!" "Mister!" Rin called over to him. "What's this?" "Hm? What's-" Shiro turned to look at what Rin was holding, and instantly snapped his mouth shut. Held in a tight grip within the kid's hand was a jellyfish. "Rin," he said slowly, "-Rin, put that down." Rin tilted his head. "Why?" "That's a jellyfish," Shiro told him, "-it's very poisonous." "Oh," Rin laughed, "-that's why it tickles!" …tickles? No, of course it only tickled. The Vatican had tried slipping the kid poison before- he remembered the fallout afterward vividly. Yuri had been furious. (But for all her fury, it had only been sort of effective.) "Yeah," Shiro said, "-which is why you should just put it down now. Or even better, chuck as far as you can into the ocean." Rin looked at the jellyfish- and then very slowly looked back at him- -and smiled. Oh, Shiro thought, he'd seen that smile before. But it certainly didn't come from his mother. Shiro looked at Rin. Looked at the jellyfish. Looked back at Rin. Rin took a step forward- and for the first time in his life, in the battle between fight or flight, Fujimoto Shiro, the man who had overpowered Satan, chose flight.

[captastrophe]

I'm off the dash for a few hours, but as a parting post:

This is Gran

This Seofon.

They both are lacking smooches and 2 friends. If anyone wants a boyfriend that is mult-talented or a sword husbando-material boyfriend who is stupidly strong and goofy, hit me up.

[robinyourcreator]

despite spending most of the day in bed exhausted, piteously and agonizingly ill, i DID manage to add over a thousand words to a draft today and i even like most of those words :V

fear me.

[futuristic-disaster]

Y'all why he so tiny-

I CAN'T TAKE THIS GREMLIN SERIOUSLY WHEN HE'S LIKE THIS-

Also, Newt threw the Baby during the Collision chapter and he ended up looking like this :

P.O.V. : When you rethink your life decisions and realise how f-ed up your life is.

(Honestly, his life is messed up, kinda).

That's all, byeee~

[the-meat-machine]

i need people to understand that what makes caliborn dangerous isn't that he's powerful. don't get me wrong - he is strong. from the start, he's uniquely capable of becoming powerful in a way that most other characters couldn't

but he could never have seized that power if it weren't for his actual defining trait: his singular, uncompromising focus on his goal

every single thing caliborn does is in service of himself and his ultimate goal of fucking destroying everything. he will put up with literally anything rather than change his course, no matter how stupid or agonizing or mind-meltingly tedious

this is the trait that allows caliborn to weave his will into the very fabric of paradox space. he can orchestrate the time loop to end all time loops because at every point in time, he is working towards the same thing. he reinforces his own will at every turn and never works at cross-purposes with past or future versions of himself

if caliborn ever doubted himself for even a single moment, it would all come crashing down. so, by definition, he cannot doubt. he can only keep barreling forward, forever, for good or for ill

oh, who am i kidding. it's always for ill

[ineedlelittlespace]

This is seconds after he unsuccessfully attempted to fit a third spring into his greedy little mouth, which was simultaneously growling at his sister for even contemplating playing with a fourth, unrelated-but-somehow-also-his-property spring.

[highwayphantoms]

in the meantime here is a photo of my cat

[hxney-lemcn]

Affection — NRC Students x gn! reader

summery: what is being affectionate with your fav like?

tw: bad parents (Riddle, Leona (?), Jamil (?)), angsty (Riddle, Leona, Ruggie (kinda), Jamil, Idia, Ortho, Malleus (kinda)).

a/n: A lot of these are based on my own headcanons (Jade).

wc: 2.6k (~100 per character)

Master List

❥ Riddle Rosehearts

Growing up his mother didn’t give him much affection. He wasn’t treated like a child, more like a trophy. Something you keep just out of reach, something you only lay your eyes on. Riddle is terribly touch starved and doesn’t know it. So when you start showing him acts of affection he has no idea how to handle it. What does he do? When is it okay to do these acts? Don’t mind how stiff he is when you hug him or how red he turns if you hold hands. It's something he’s never felt before, and you have unlocked something deep inside Riddle that had been tucked away. So please, give him another hug would you? It helps slowly heal something in him he didn’t know was broken. 

❥ Trey Clover

Trey is a total sweetheart. He doesn’t mind affection at all. Growing up with siblings, he’s used to hugging and hand holding. Whether you're affectionate out the gate or need a little coaxing, it's like Trey instinctively knows. He’ll ask before doing anything, asking for consent, getting to know your boundaries. If you don’t like affection, that’s fine with him, if you only like being affectionate behind closed doors he doesn’t mind. Just know that Trey loves any and all forms of affection you show him, no matter how big or little. He cherishes you, and he’ll show you that in any form you prefer. 

❥ Cater Diamond

We all know Cater doesn’t mind hanging off you out in public. Hugs, cheek kisses, hand holding, you name it, he’s probably done it. What he doesn’t want people knowing is how tiring it is for him to keep up that facade. Although, when it comes to you he doesn’t even register half the things he does. You’re like a magnet that pulls him in. Though, his favorite forms of affection are behind closed doors, just the two of you, no camera. Whether it be you two existing in the same room, or you laying on his chest or vice versa, those are his favorite moments. He doesn’t have to pretend, doesn’t have to put on a mask to make others happy because he is happy with you. 

❥ Deuce Spade

Even though Deuce’s mom has showered him with affection growing up, he’s still shy about it. His image before was a punk, and now he’s trying to be an honor student. So if you ever hug him or try to hold his hand his face will flame up and he won’t be able to meet your eyes. He’s a gentleman though, through and through. Always makes sure you're comfortable even if you’re the one who initiated. He’s not too picky when it comes to affection…but he does prefer if you do it behind closed doors. He loves your kisses, but he doesn't love Ace teasing him about it.

❥ Ace Trappola

Oh boy. Ace is a little gremlin. He acts like your affection doesn’t do anything, acts all smug like you're lucky for being able to hold his hand. All the while his mind is melting and the bright blush on his face gives his true feelings away. I wouldn’t say he’s exactly touch starved, but he does crave your affection. When he became a teen he stopped hugging his parents ‘cus his brother would make fun of him otherwise. He crafted his unbothered persona, and didn’t realize how much he missed hugging until you gave him one. He rarely initiates, but sometimes he crumbles.

❥ Leona Kingscholar

He’s another one who didn’t grow up with much affection, always watching as his older brother Falena got all the praise. He’s bitter, seeing affection as a weakness, like showing your underbelly to your predator. Being soft got you nowhere in the animal kingdom…but he did enjoy it when you played with his hair or kissed his cheek. It left an odd warm feeling to fill him, making him grumble about your idiocy. Deep down, he was scared about how much he enjoyed your affection, scared he’d be upstaged once more and you’d find someone else to love. So he’ll just make sure that doesn’t happen, ‘cus there’s no one better than him after all.

❥ Ruggie Bucchi

Where he’s from, showing affection is like putting a target on your back. It shows a weakness that someone could take advantage of. This is why Ruggie is so skittish at first, always making an excuse to run away if you go to hug him, your hands brush and he’s lifting his hands up to his head (y’know that one position). But once he warms up, realizes you won’t snatch his food and run like a thief, he finds himself enjoying your embrace. It’s like heaven to lay his head in your lap as you feed him an orange. How your hands trace his face so lovingly, like trash like him is actually worth something.

❥ Jack Howl

Jack is a bit awkward when it comes to affection. He’s closed off, but his tough personality does melt away to reveal a heart of gold. He doesn’t mind if you hold his hand, just please don’t mention the pink that tints his cheeks. He does enjoy when it's just the two of you, he feels more relaxed, like he can actually take in your warmth. His hugs might be a bit uncomfortable with all that muscle, but don’t tell him that ‘cus he might stop hugging you then :( On the bright side, you could sit on his back while he does push ups :) 

❥ Azul Ashengrotto

This guy…you can’t even compliment him without him running away at first. Although Azul’s mom was almost over affectionate, he’s another one that gets shy at the thought of anything affectionate. He was ridiculed growing up, which made him sharpen his edges. He has a persona to uphold, he can’t be…clingy…oh is he clingy. Out in public it's only small acts, holding hands, hand resting on your lower back, kiss to the back of your hand. In private is a whole other story. Loves hugs, cuddling, kisses, staring at you. Azul doesn’t get much alone time, so the moments you have together behind closed doors he likes to use to his full advantage. Can you blame him? You looked so lovely all day, do you know how terrible it was to watch you without giving you a kiss?

❥ Jade Leech

Doesn’t really need affection, but finds it cute when you seek him out. He loves you, yes, but affection isn’t really his forte. He won’t deny you a kiss though, especially not when you pout so cutely. Jade’s more of a tease, due to the fact that he doesn’t mind a lack of affection, he finds it hilarious to watch you long for it. He’ll brush his hand against yours, but won’t hold it. He’ll lean in close to your face only to whisper in your ear. He’ll gently brush his fingers over your cheek…only to pinch it. But if you're feeling down, he won’t hesitate to whisk you somewhere private and hold you close. He does love you after all. 

❥ Floyd Leech

Another oh boy. His ‘affection’ can seem less like affection and more like torture. He won’t go easy on you either. In fact, he’ll probably squeeze you tighter due to his cute aggression. Floyd, unlike Jade, loves, loves, loves hugging, holding, squeezing. Then you opened him to the world of kissing, biting. Good luck with that. Most of the time he’s all over you, in public or in private, he doesn’t care, if he wants to nibble on you he’s gonna nibble on you. If you’re uncomfy with that he’ll try to tone it down (will he?), but he will probably forget and do it anyway. If he’s in a sour mood he won’t seek out affection, but if you do the right thing it might make him feel a little better…but be careful.

❥ Kalim Al Asim

He gives so many hugs it makes Jamil want to bash his head in. Do you know how many ways Kalim could get killed with how trusting he is? Expect hugs, hand holding, pulling, cheek kisses, and giggling. He’s not afraid to show the world how much he loves you, and he loves affection! When you show him affection though…get ready for a giggly, blushy, kicking his feet in the air Kalim. He’s so used to being the one giving affection he forgot what it's like to receive it. Yeah a lot of his siblings love him…but a lot have also tried to assassinate him so… Jamil finds you to be a double edged sword, as you tend to keep Kalim reigned in…but he also goes crazy over you.

❥ Jamil Viper

Does not like it. Not at first. It takes a lot to earn his trust, and growing up he didn’t get much affection if any. So he doesn’t like it, it's a foreign feeling and it's just too much for him. Though gradually, he finds himself thinking about your touch, the way your fingers felt as your hands brushed, or wondering how soft it would be to hug you. He curses himself for becoming so weak, but those curses quiet down the second your arms hold him so sweetly. No pda, none whatsoever. But behind closed doors he's more willing to give in to your tender touches (not that he’d admit it).

❥ Vil Schoenheit 

Vil is picky about affection. There’s certain things that you can and can’t do during certain times. With the media always on his back, you can never be too careful about pda. He doesn’t want the world to hound you about your relationship with him, so he tends to keep things behind closed doors. He shows his affection in other ways to compensate, whether it be picking out your outfit or fixing your hair. He has become your personal stylist and you should be thankful. When it's just the two of you though, he becomes such a sap. Holds you so sweetly, trails of kisses, murmurs sweet nothings into your hair. Vil loves you and he won’t let you think otherwise.

❥ Rook Hunt

When doesn’t he show you affection? Flowery words trail after you as you walk to class. Kisses to the back of your hand trail up your arm. No one can outcompete Rook when it comes to admiring you. You could kill a man and he’d be singing your praises while hiding all evidence for you. What's surprising is how he acts when it's just you two alone. Although he is sincere with his usual flowery words, it feels more intimate when you both are alone. When he’s holding your close, staring at you so lovingly, whispering how much you mean to him? I get it Rook lovers, I’ve finally gotten it.

❥ Epel Felmier

Nuh-uh. Affection? That’s for losers! Don’t ask about how loving his grandparents are. Blushes profusely at even the smallest act and then scolds you. He’s a manly man and manly men don’t cuddle! Off topic but I’d love to go on a rant about toxic masculinity and how those stereotypes hurt men more and see how he reacts. Epel warms up to affection quickly, but only if he initiates in public. When it's just you two he’s more chill about it. Resting your head on his shoulder, having you wrap your arms around his, placing a kiss on his forehead—don’t tell anyone that last one…

❥ Idia Shroud

Poor, poor Idia. He only knows affection from Ortho, and after Ortho…once he became a technomantic humanoid Idia couldn’t hug him anymore. It reminded him that Ortho wasn’t…yeah so let's just say Idia is hella touch starved due to self isolation. So you have to slowly bring him out of his shell, revealing that old wound he’s left to fester and tending to it so gently. He can’t help but shiver every time you run your hands through his hair, or when you kiss his temple, or when your body heat seeps into him. Over time he comes to crave your affection, seeking you out but never outright stating what he wanted. Thankfully for him you always seemed to know what he needed. 

❥ Ortho Shroud

This poor boy pt 2. After he was created he didn’t really experience physical affection. With his bulky bodies and being made from metal, he wasn’t comfortable to hug. Ortho never thought about it much, although he was curious what affection felt like. So when you hugged him without a second thought he almost cried (if he could). Soaks up your affection like a sponge and reciprocates tenfold. He now hugs you as a greeting and holds your hand when you both are going somewhere. He can’t help it! Who knew affection was so nice! And since you're willing, he’ll always come to you if he needs someone to lean on.

❥ Malleus Draconia

Malleus knows of affection, but being the future king of Briar Valley and extremely powerful he only knows affection through Lilia and his grandmother. Lilia was super loving, don’t get me wrong, but Malleus could never shake that feeling of loneliness. The way people avoid him, how he’s always out of reach. Yet you…you were willing to listen to him and accompany him. So when you even touched him, he wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t well versed in means of affection, and human affection seemed even more strange. You didn’t just hold his hand, you’d lean on him, you wouldn’t just kiss his cheek, you’d boop him afterwards. Yet he thrived with anything you’d give him. Malleus is content with watching you eagerly, waiting for the next form of affection you’d show him.

❥ Lilia Vanrouge

Lilia isn’t afraid to show his affection, and more often than not it leaves his subordinates (children) embarrassed. So when you came along, you had become his willing victim. He shows his affection in less conventional ways. His favorite is scaring you, popping out at random like he was trying to put you into cardiac arrest. But he makes up for it by kissing your nose after. He’ll also cook for you…I pray for your sanity because he can be really sweet but it comes in underhanded ways. If you eat his food he’ll be over the moon…if you don’t he’ll pout. It’s up to you if you want to live or not.

❥ Silver Vanrouge

Growing up under Lilia’s wing did him some favors. He’s not against affection, he just never thought about it too much. He doesn’t mind if you hold his hand or if you kiss his cheek. His favorite is when you both cuddle. He’s a sleepy guy, so naturally this is the most common form of affection you both share. Even the animals will join you two. When he isn’t sleeping though, he’ll give you kisses on the back of your hand, guide you around, he’s your personal knight now. Although he does feel bad that he has to leave you a lot for his duty, he’ll always try to make it up to you at the end of the day.

❥ Sebek Zigvolt 

Nope. No affection allowed. Your eardrums will be shattered if you try. He’s another one who has to warm up to it. His parents are super loving, and he’s used to his mom always hugging him…but he stopped all that nonsense because he has to give his all to his Waka-sama. Sebek is so intense in his worship of Malleus he finds it indecent to even think of anything romantic/affectionate with you. But when you break him down, when you hug him so sweetly or kiss his cheek so softly…yeah he’s a goner. Deep down he craves for your affection, he loves it to a point it scares him. He felt his heart crack when he denied you once, the guilt in your eyes leaving him with a sour taste in his mouth. He supposes he’ll allow you to hug him, but he’s still got a reputation to uphold.

[alienzil]

Okay so I saw this post and you know the types of fics where adult Danny moves to Gotham and winds up emotionally adopting one or more of bat kids or accidentally coparenting with Bruce (with or without a relationship between them)? I had the thought, what if Danny parented the bat kids but he started doing it out of spite?

Like, Danny moves to Gotham and runs into Batman and Robin one night while out for a late night flight and drops down to the rooftop to say hi.

Bruce sees this 5'6" twink that looks like a stiff breeze could knock him over and is so obviously new in town and thinks Gotham is going to eat him alive, he needs to leave before he gets killed.

Batman: Looming menacingly and in his deepest scariest Batman voice, "Leave. Metas aren't allowed in Gotham."

Danny: Offend! Excuse?! Who does this guy think he is?! 😡 Danny was trying to be polite here! "First of all, I'm not a meta. Second of all, rude much?!"

Batman: Does scariest bat glare. "Leave." Swoops off into the night.

Robin (Damian): "My father is correct. You should leave the city for your own safety."

Danny sees this tiny vigilante child with fierce expression and a sword and is just like awww, so cute! 😍 Then he noticed Robin had a small cut on his arm and his inner gremlin activates. If the rude flying furry can't take care of his own kid properly, Danny will do it better!

He bandages up Damian's arm, gives him a cookie and teaches him a neat sword trick before sending him on his way with a hug telling him he needs his sleep.

Danny goes out of his way to run into the bat kids and be the absolute best dad.

He takes Nightwing flying and throws him in the air so Nightwing can do all the fanciest acrobatic tricks.

He tracks down Red Hood and starts a book club with him (Danny may or may not have used his connection with Ghost Writer to get ahold of some rare books).

He eats waffles with Spoiler and trys out weird topping combinations that make them both make faces and laugh.

He makes new gadgets for Red Robin but carefully breaks them just a little bit and takes them to the teen so they can fix them together (it's enrichment!). He always insists RR keep them as a reward.

He follows Signal around during the day invisibly, making faces and doing tricks only Signal can see (he made him laugh in front of the police at a crime scene twice!).

All of the kids get his attention and love and Danny smugly thinks how Batman must be absolutely seething about his kids bonding with Danny and Batman missing out on all of it.

Danny started it out of spite but he does wind up genuinely loving the bat kids.

Batman definetly hates it when the kids are bonding with Danny and is extremely jealous (sulky Batman brooding in his cave about it).

Bruce's repeated attempts to intimidate Danny into leaving Gotham don't work and him telling his kids to stay away from Danny had zero effect (the terrible children don't listen to him at all).

So Bruce starts spending more time with the kids to compete against Danny. The bat kids love it and (little gremlins that they are) use the two of them against each other constantly.

Bruce:"Sorry Tim, I can't make it to your photography exhibit this weekend, there's a meeting with the Justice League."

Tim:"Oh that's fine... I'll just ask Danny to come." 😏

Bruce: Narrows his eyes and grits his teeth, "Actually, the Justice League needs to have contingencies in place to manage without my input. This would be a good time to test their capabilities. I'll skip the meeting and come to your exhibit."

With both of them competing to spend more time with the kids it leads to the two of them spending time with each other to be around the kids more.

After Damian catches a terrible flu bug, Danny spends an entire weekend at the manor babying him. This is when Bruce finds out Danny has known their secret identities for months and tries to get mad about it but Alfred puts his foot down, raises a judgmental eyebrow in Bruce's direction that puts a stop to that nonsense and sets up Danny with his own room in the family wing.

Eventually, Danny gets to the point where he spends most of his nights at the manor and he and Bruce consult each other on all major household decisions.

The whole family is at the manor one morning including Danny. Bruce has a meeting at WE and he and Danny are absently discussing their plans for the day at the breakfast table.

Bruce: " The meeting should take most of the morning and then I have paperwork this afternoon and a scheduled walk through on one of the new engineering projects. I probably won't be done by the time school let's out. Can you pick up Damian today?"

Danny: "That shouldn't be a problem. Would you mind swinging by the bookstore on the way home and getting my preorder? Jay and I just finished rereading the first book and we were wanting to start the second tonight before you all go on patrol. I'd rather not try to make it to the bookstore in school rush hour traffic"

Bruce: "Sure."

Stephanie watches Danny reach out and absently straighten Bruce's tie as they both get up to leave. Bruce grabs Danny's coffee thermos and hands it to him while they walk out the door.

Stephanie: "Sooo, bets on how long until they realize they're basically married?"

[woso-dreamzzz]

Chook and Gremlin

Kewis x Child!Reader (Chook) x Gremlin

Summary: Gremlin's your future best friend

Kristie watches warily as Katie and Caitlin's daughter goes stomping around her living room.

It's the first time they've babysat Katie and Caitlin's little Gremlin before and, despite Sam insisting you'd get along with the little toddler, Kristie still has her doubts.

You seem a little wary too, shuffling on your feet and clutching a dinosaur in your hand as you watch as Gremlin explores her new surroundings.

"You don't have to play just yet," Kristie says, hand carding through your hair gently as you hide behind her leg," We'll go at your own pace, chook."

You nod, a slight up and down motion of your head that Kristie barely feels against her hand.

"Mommy," You whisper," Does she like dinos?"

"I'm not sure. Do you want to go and ask?"

"I...I have another dino mask. We could be dinos together?"

"It's sweet of you to share your toys."

"I go get them?"

"Of course."

You disappear into your bedroom and Kristie sits at the kitchen table supervising Gremlin's exploring.

You don't really have any friends outside of those at school and you certainly aren't friends with someone so many years younger than yourself.

But there's a baby coming, another little presence that you have no idea about. A baby is coming and Kristie can't help but worry that she's made a terrible decision and already ruined your life.

She and Sam had floated the idea, of course, about how you would feel having a little sibling. You'd been dismissive and uncaring with only a quick question of 'do I have to share all of my toys?'.

You'd given no indication of your feelings on the matter. No indication if you had suspicions on why you'd even been asked.

Kristie had never seen you interact with kids younger than you before and yet, here is one now.

A little toddler with a face like thunder and a little wrinkled nose as she attempts to climb the cat tree to pet Helen.

Kristie goes to stand but Sam's quicker, crossing the room and plucking Gremlin away from harm by the back of her overalls.

"Cats can scratch," She warns," If you pet them wrong."

Gremlin's little face scrunches up. "I know! Have two cats at home! Coopurr an' Spicy!"

"Mommy!" Kristie's attention shifts from Sam and Gremlin to your voice and she finally heaves herself up to walk the path to your bedroom.

"My chook? What's wrong?"

"Can't-Can't find my other dino mask! Jus-Just the dragon one!"

You look distraught, your velociraptor mask in one hand and your dragon mask in the other.

"That's alri-"

"No! What if she doesn't like dragons?"

"I'm sure she'll love dragons." Kristie sits on the floor, gently reaching for your waist and drawing you forward until you're standing in front of her. "What's wrong? Huh? What's got you so worried?"

Your bottom lip wobbles dangerously and Kristie can see your eyes get all watery like you're about to cry.

"What...What if she thinks I'm broken?"

"Broken? Why would she think you're broken?"

You look down, silent for a moment as you shuffle your feet. "Because I'm sick," You whisper," And sometimes I'm not really here..."

"Oh, chookie...You're not broken. I promise. You're not broken at all. You're just a little different to other kids and that's okay. I promise that Gremlin won't think you're broken at all and I'm sure she'd love being a dragon instead of a dino."

You sniffle. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Do you want a cuddle before we go back out there?"

"Yes, please."

When you finally end up back in the living room, Sam is dangling Gremlin by the back of her overalls while the toddler giggles hysterically.

"You've got this," Kristie whispers to you," You and Gremlin are going to be great friends. I know it."

You shuffle forward slowly, tugging on Sam's leg so she knows to let your new friend down.

"Here," You say, handing over the mask," It's a dragon. They breath fire."

"Dragon?" Gremlin asks, head cocking to the side.

You nod. "Dragon. They're like dinosaurs but with big wings and fire."

Gremlin grins. "I like dragons. Dragons eat people!"

She turns to look at Sam as she pulls the mask on.

Her eyes dart to your velociraptor mask. "Dinosaurs eat people too?"

You nod. "They can." You slip on your mask.

"Good," She says," Now, we eat auntie Sam!"

[midnight-shadow-cafe]

Babe I need a pick me up pleeasassseee

can I please request Simon and wife ! Reader want to go out for a long weekend for their anniversary, Simon (unfortunately ) trusts and puts Gaz and soap in charge of Tommy while they are gone

Chaos ensues

Boys on Their Worst Behavior

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Wife!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, chaos, dad!Simon, uncle!Soap and uncle!Gaz disaster babysitting, minor swearing, a child on a sugar high, a destroyed couch, accidental hair dye, offscreen spicy anniversary celebration, hangovers, absolute mayhem

Author's Note: Warning, do not leave your child with their two chaotic uncles! Otherwise you get chaos, now with 200% more poor decision-making and loving regret. Enjoy!!

Summary: You and Simon want one long weekend for your anniversary. Just one. He’s hesitant to leave Tommy behind—but you convince him to trust Soap and Gaz, who are way too eager to babysit. Unfortunately, you both severely overestimate their parenting skills.

Masterlist

MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+

It all started on a Thursday afternoon.

The living room was warm, Tommy was building a Lego fortress in front of the TV, and you were curled up in Simon’s lap with your head on his shoulder, scrolling through hotel listings on your phone.

"Look at this one." You angled the screen toward him—a cozy little cabin by a lake, complete with a private hot tub and no internet service. "Three nights. Quiet. Remote. Romantic."

Simon made a thoughtful noise but didn’t say yes.

You tapped your finger against his chest. "Come on. We never get time like this."

"We’ve got time now," he murmured, nosing behind your ear and making you giggle. "Tommy’s busy, the house is quiet—"

"Yeah, for twenty minutes. Then someone’s throwing a tantrum because we won’t let him wear his Spider-Man costume in the bath again."

Simon huffed a quiet laugh, rubbing circles against your back. "Don’t want to leave him with strangers."

"I wasn’t thinking strangers," you said, lips curling into a grin. "I was thinking… Soap and Gaz."

He pulled back and looked at you like you’d just suggested setting the house on fire for fun.

"No."

"Simon—"

"Absolutely not."

"They love him," you said. "Tommy loves them."

"They once let him eat ten mini cupcakes and then put him in a cardboard box to race down the stairs."

"That was kind of my fault."

"He called it the ‘S.S. Yeet Machine.’"

You grinned. "Tommy’s creative."

Simon muttered something under his breath, but you weren’t giving up. You climbed fully into his lap, facing him with your hands on his shoulders and your best sweet-eyes stare. "It’s one weekend. Our anniversary. Remember? The one where we swore we’d actually get away this year?"

His brows knit together. "What if something happens?"

"We’ll leave emergency numbers. A whole list. I’ll prep all the food. And I’ll bribe Soap with those lemon bars he likes."

He stared at you for a long beat. Then at Tommy, who was now making explosion noises and knocking over Lego towers.

"…you’re really gonna bribe them with lemon bars?"

You kissed his cheek. "Already made them this morning."

—

The Drop-Off

When Friday morning rolled around, you and Simon packed the car with overnight bags and a cooler full of carefully prepped meals. Simon triple-checked the emergency folder. You left sticky notes on the fridge, the bathroom mirror, and even the dog.

Gaz and Soap were waiting on the porch when you opened the door—matching grins, sunglasses, and a terrifying amount of confidence.

"Operation ‘Cool Uncles’ is a go!" Soap declared.

Tommy ran past you in a blur, launching himself into Soap’s arms. "UNCLE JOHNNY!"

Soap spun him around. "What’s up, gremlin?!"

Gaz took Tommy’s bag and gave you a hug. "Don’t worry, love. He’s in excellent hands."

Simon squinted. "Define ‘excellent.’"

"Alive, fed, entertained," Gaz said, ticking off fingers. "In that order."

Simon gave you a look that screamed this is a terrible idea.

You smiled sweetly and kissed his cheek. "Let’s go, soldier. We have a lake waiting."

As you drove off, you glanced in the mirror and caught a glimpse of Tommy jumping on the couch with a Nerf gun, Soap cheering him on, and Gaz trying to remove a juice box from the DVD player.

Simon groaned and muttered, "We’re never gonna see the house in one piece again."

—

Day One: Descent Into Chaos

By 9:13am, you were sitting on the porch of your lakeside cabin, coffee in hand, soaking in the quiet. Simon was beside you, surprisingly relaxed—until his phone buzzed.

Sparklez Man✨🤩: He ate three toaster waffles and a handful of marshmallows. He’s vibrating. Help.

Simon stared. "What the hell do they mean vibrating?"

Ten minutes later, a video came through: Tommy sprinting in circles around the living room in his dinosaur pajamas, blurting out something about a secret mission and how his new name was "Agent Blue Lightning."

Soap was laughing in the background. "He’s got so much energy! Think we broke a record!"

Sparklez Man✨🤩: "He’s speaking in tongues."

Simon gave you a look that screamed, ‘We’re going home.’

You tugged him back down. "Nope. You’re going to drink your coffee and pretend we don’t have a son for 72 hours."

—

Later That Day

Gaz attempted bath time. You knew this because at 7:12pm, Simon’s phone buzzed again.

Sparklez Man✨🤩: We tried to do bath time. He escaped. He’s hiding under the bed and hissing like a cat.

Bubble Head🧼🫧: He bit me.

Sparklez Man✨🤩: He’s literally holding us hostage with a plunger.

Simon set his phone down, deadpan. "I changed my mind. He is feral."

You, very happy that you had the chance to say those infamous words to Simon. You didn’t hesitate when, "Told you so," slipped from your lips.

At 8:00pm, a final photo arrived: Tommy passed out on the couch, a fake mustache drawn across his face, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito.

Bubble Head🧼🫧: He fought valiantly. But we won.

Simon shook his head and whispered, "He’s biding his time."

—

Day Two: Mistakes Were Made

9:00am – You were lazily tangled with Simon in bed, sharing breakfast when another ping hit.

Sparklez Man✨🤩: He asked to dye his hair like Uncle Johnny. I thought he meant temporary spray. Soap gave him semi-permanent blue. It’s... very blue.

Simon sat up like he’d been shot. "They what?"

You choked on your orange juice. "Please tell me it’s not—"

Another message came in. A video.

Tommy stood on the table, shirtless, now sporting neon blue hair and wielding a plunger like a sword.

"I AM UNCLE SOAP JUNIOR!"

Simon immediately sent a message,

Skull Head💀💍: We’re coming home.

Best Mama✨💍: Just make sure Tommy is alive please when we get home!!

You, laughing so hard you cried: "We are not. This is the best anniversary ever."

—

Day Three: Silence Is Never Good

By midmorning, you noticed something strange.

No texts. No chaos. No updates.

Simon frowned. "Either they’ve finally figured it out or they’re unconscious."

You were still debating when your phone buzzed.

Bubble Head🧼🫧: We’re alive. Barely. Your child put gummy bears in the coffee machine. We now serve ‘Espresso à la Diabetes.’

A follow-up message from Gaz had you concerned.

Sparklez Man✨🤩: Couch is broken. Don’t ask. Just know Tommy learned how to suplex.

And finally: a photo of Tommy knocked out in a blanket fort, Gaz face-down beside him, and Soap sitting on the floor, eyes vacant, ice pack on his temple.

Bubble Head🧼🫧: He won.

—

Coming Home

You pulled up to the house Sunday afternoon. Everything was... quiet.

Too quiet.

The door creaked open. The living room looked like a war zone. The couch listing to one side. Juice box puddles on the floor. A slice of cheese on the ceiling.

Tommy ran straight into Simon’s legs, shouting, "DADDY! I HAVE A NEW NAME! I’M THE WARRIOR KING!"

Simon blinked.

Soap walked in holding a mug that read #1 Uncle, looking like he hadn’t slept in years.

"Welcome home. He’s yours now."

Gaz dragged himself in next. "We’re not having kids. Ever."

Simon turned to you. "Next time, we’re bringing him."

You laughed, grabbing his hand. "Next time, we leave him with my sister."

—

That night, in bed, Simon lay flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.

You curled into him, completely blissed out. "Best anniversary ever."

He grunted. "They dyed his hair."

"He looks cute."

"They broke our couch."

"He learned how to suplex."

He paused. "…That one’s on you."

You smiled against his chest. "Still. Worth it."

He looked down at you. And despite it all—despite the hair dye, the Nerf guns, and the chaos—he nodded.

"Yeah. Worth it."

Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜

[mwahbabe]

can you pretty please do chloe or ellie (or both hehe) x virgin reader but where virgin reader isn’t written like a child yk they know stuff but they’re also a virgin, i love your works < 3 /nf at all!!

all the way

pairing: elloe x fem!reader

mdni, smut, polyamorous, established relationship, throuple, friends to lovers, virgin! reader, cunnilingus(r!recieving)v!fingering(r!recieving) threesome, loser!ellie, loser!chloe, tw: ell*ot mentioned!, chloe and ellie are gaybos for you and each other. fluff.

a/n: girllll i hate those fics it feels so corny and weird and i did both bc i’m a gremlin 👹 tysm!!!

you had been in a relationship with chloe and ellie for some time, the three of you started off as best friends, you didn’t realise how smitten those two wore for you, like you were for them. they were always there for you and so sweet, plus you loved their sarcastic humour and stupid jokes they made together that made you snort and roll your eyes everytime. they always put a smile on your face. you also noticed how those two interacted, their relationship clearly had something else there. you three just didn’t know what to do about it.

until one day when you three were stoned playing truth or dare when you had dared them to kiss, what you didn’t expect was for ellie to lunge forward grabbing chloes face and for them to start tongue fucking each others mouths, then they both turn to you out of breath with dazed eyes and wet lips from the others saliva and ellie breathlessly says “come here babe.” in a husky voice.

and then boom. you three were a throuple.

discovering you had never had sex before chloe was giddy with excitement, she wanted to be the first to make you feel good, even if was good with sharing with her other girlfriend she just couldn’t wait to make you feel good. ellie had to tell her “be patient babe. let her come to us.”

you had masturbated by yourself and knew how to make yourself cum and had obviously seen porn and read sexual novals but had never actually had sex, your first time your girlfriends got you off was ellie guiding you on chloes thigh and helping you grind on her talking you through it, “yeah.. there you go. just do whatever feels good babe..” “damn.. you’re doing so good. just like that.” with both of them praising and talking you through it you came from the clitoral stimulation and with their kisses all over your neck and their sweet praise in your ear. that was as far as you had gone, and you were for the most part satisfied.

ellie and chloe were a little experienced, except chloe lost her virginity to a man which turned out to be a psycho plus it was terrible. but she had seen lesbian porn and having the same parts she knew how it all worked, while ellie had some experience with women. even that was a little intimidating to you, ellie and chloe had fucked a few times, with ellie fingering chloe reducing her to a whimpering mess, and chloe going down on ellie making her cum on her tongue satisfying her own needs as well as ellies. even if you hated how nervous you were to go further with them knowing they were already doing stuff without you that was just your insecurities talking and you knew both of your girlfriends were the last people on earth to ever judge or make fun of you.

so one night when you had come to them, chloe laying with her head on ellies lap both of them arguing about the real meaning of the movie they were watching. with ellie feeding chloe popcorn each time chloe opened her mouth.

“hey you two.” you smiled coming up behind the couch and climbing over, chloe moved over slighty making room for you. “hey there hotstuff.” she let you come into her open arms, ellie smiled placing her hand on your back. “sup good lookin. how’s our favourite girl?” you smile at her choice of words, hearing ‘our’ at the beginning of any endearment from either of them always made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. “i’m good. how’s my favourite nerds?” you teased. “mean.” ellie retorted. chloe rolled her eyes. “you two are the nerds.” “and you’re insufferable.” ellie said affectionately. you smirked at that. “you’re both not wrong.” ellie looked back down at you. “thanks babe.” she said half sarcastically, patting chloes face making the blue haired punk grumble.

after a few minutes of comfortable silence you piped up again. “so.. i think that..i might be okay to, y’know, go further tonight. i think i’m ready.” you said casually, your eyes still on the tv as you lay your head on chloes chest.

you expected them to be confused and have to further explain but the both of them looked at each other grinning excitedly before looking back at you. “you sure babe?” ellie asked, you turned to them, smiling shyly. “yeah. i’m sure.” chloe grinned, moving her hands over your waist. “hell yeah. that’s so awesome babe. this is gonna be so fun.” damn, they were both eager, that much was clear. all evening they had sweet talked you, bith of them fighting to be the one to get you a snack or open your drink for you. until that night when they got you in bed finally, both of them were so in sync, completely different than how they usually were.

ellie was behind you while you lay against her, you were only in panties and a tank top, braless as ellie kissed your neck while chloe kissed your lips, both of the girls being gentle with you, not wanting to overwhelm you. they wanted to make sure they did this perfect. as much as they would never admit it they were both hopeless romantics, for you especially, they did love each other but mostly their love was built on their love for you, it made sense to only you three. chloe pulled away looking at you, “let us know if you don’t like anything we’re doing okay?” you nodded. “yeah. uh huh. of course.” you were a little out of breath, chloe always kissed so messy and left you breathless. “just say the word and we stop kay?” ellie said softly,

you nodded. “look at me.” you turn looking at ellie giving her a smile. “i will.” “and chloe.” you turn back to chloe, her blue eyes scanning your face, you tried not to feel nervous, knowing you were safe. “i’ll tell you both if i don’t like it.. or wanna stop.” “that’s our girl.” that phrase would always get to you. ellies hands moved further up onto your chest. “damn right it is.” chloe said with a soft yet teasing tone. ellie gripped your chin guiding you to face her, kissing you softly using tongue, letting you take the lead, you slid your tongue in, your soft moans heard by the blue haired girl in front of you, after a few seconds she pulled you away from ellie and claimed your mouth herself, ellie scoffed softly. always so impatient she thought. you were swapped between the two of them as they took turns kissing you.

chloe rubbed your clit through the fabric of your panties while kissing you, her lips crashing against yours over and over as your cute moans were swallowed up by her. ellie shifted you up gently as chloe pulled away, “mind if we take this off pretty girl?” chloe asked as she traced her fingers over the bottom of your top, “yeah.. i mean-no. i don’t mind.” earning chuckles from both women. “you’re so cute.” ellie helped chloe peel off your thin top up and over your head, letting your pretty tits free. “so pretty..” ellie murmured. “hell yeah she is. you wanna…?” ellie nodded. “can i touch you here baby?” you nodded immediately, “let us hear you say it.” you bit your lip, “touch me. please.”

chloe couldn’t help the small groan that came from her hearing you say that, especially in that needy tone. ellies hands groped your tits as soon as she got permisson. kneading the flesh and pinching your nipples gently. “how’s that feel pretty girl?” ellie asked next to your ear. “mmh.. good. feels good els.” you breathed. chloe watched, she was so giddy it was hard to keep herself in check. “mind if i taste babe?” you shook your head. “go ahead...” chloe lowered her head and moved chloes hand that was on one of your breasts and licked over your perky nipples grinning at your gasp, she began using her lips and sucked gently on your flesh, making wet sounds as her mouth sloppily kissed and sucked on the breast that ellies hand wasn’t on.

your cute moans were music to both ellie and chloes ears, both enjoying the fact they were the firsts to ever make you feel good, feeling a bit of pride, more ellie than chloe. you were soaked by this point, your arousal seeping from your panties, your pussy throbbing in a way that you hadn’t quite experienced before, it was an agressive thumping, begging for attention.

chloes hand wandered between your legs before she pulled away, her mouth letting your nipple go with a pop. “can i baby? huh?” you responded with lifting your hips. “please..” you said, taken aback at your own neediness. “shh we got you baby..” ellie said softly against your neck, watching chloe rub you through the thin fabric. “oh.” chloe traced around your clit seeing how big the wet patch was. “that’s so adorable.” she said earning a chuckle from ellie. chloe slowly peeled your panties down your thighs, your calves then your ankles tossing them aside. ellie nudged you to spread your legs a bit. “damn.. see how wet she is chlo?” ellie chuckled. chloe hummed in agreement. “spread her legs a little more- yeah that’s it, thanks babe.” she turned her attention back on you. “you okay if i taste you down here too?”

“yeah.” you said breathily. chloe wasted no time, she wanted to draw this out, but lord knows she had no patience. and you were sooo pretty.

chloes face lowered until she was right between your legs, her tongue flicking out to run up your slit, slick with arousal, until she found your clit giving it some soft licks you gasp and let out a sharp moan, a jolt of pleasure going through your whole lower half. ellie chuckled at you as she glanced between chloe and your reactions. ellie massaged your tits gently while chloe latched her lips on your swollen clit. “o-ohh! fuck!” you jerked your hips up. “chloe..” chloe hummed against you.

ellie kissed your neck as her hands stayed firmly on your chest, giving you little “yeah.. atta girl”s or “such a pretty girl”s in your ear, making the experience more erotic and intimate.

chloe lapped at your soaked pussy, enjoying your pretty sounds, while ellie played with your tits feeling you squirm in her arms. “feel good baby?” “yeah..” “yeah?” you nod. “fuck chloe….”

chloe hummed against you, the vibration making you whimper. the pleasure was so warm and tingly, you needed more though, needed more of her. “more chloe… please.” hearing you say that made chloe glance up at you and then her blue eyes flicker to ellie, both of them sharing a look. “i got you babe.” chloe pulled away, her fingers sliding up and down your slit, rubbing your clit in circles, ellie watched, grinning at your moans, chloes fingers rubbed at your entrance, you inhaled. “ready princess?” she asked, looking at you, ellie held her hand to you gently. “hold my hand.” you nodded at ellie looking back at chloe. “i’m ready.” you gripped ellies hand.

chloe smiled and pushed a finger into you, your fleshy walls taking her well, you tensed up slightly, it felt weird, somebody elses fingers inside you felt invasive and non familiar, but you kept holding ellies hand and breathing, both your girlfriends making sure you were okay.

“ready for another one pretty?” chloe asked. you nod. “words baby.” ellie said lowly. “yes please.”

“so cute.” chloe added a second finger, stretching you out. “ohh fuck-” you whimpered in pain from the uncomfortable feeling. “breathe. i know baby i know.” chloe soothed you, ellies thumb rubbed your hand. “doing good sweet girl. so good for chloe.” you breathed in and out squeezing ellies hand until you felt you were used to it. giving chloe a nod. “okay. all good now.” chloe nodded at both you and ellie. ellie caught her drift. as chloe pumped two fingers in your pussy your moans got louder, it felt real good, you leaned against ellies shoulder as moans spilled from your lips. “yes. ohh god.. that’s good, chloe.. mmh..” “yeahh. there you go.” ellie praised, slowly sneaking a hand down your stomach to between your legs, finding your clit.

your eyes widened and a loud whimper came from your throat as ellie circled your clit while chloe worked her long fingers inside you, you felt dizzy, this pleasure was like nothing you could ever bring yourself. “god..! oh fuck! yes.. fuck!” you groaned, you sounded so slutty right now but you didn’t care, and your girlfriends were absolutely loving this.

being in both your girlfriends arms like this made you feel safe. like nothing could hurt you.

“mhm.. yeah. just like that.” ellie chuckled. “good girl.” chloe kissed your neck softly “taking me so well.” “i was talking to you.” ellie smirked, her green eyes glancing at chloe. causing a blush to spread across chloes cheeks. “don’t.”

their attention was back on you as you cried out loudly as chloe curled her fingers inside you, you literally saw stars. “fuckk… i can’t you guys..” “yeah you can babe.” ellie kissed your neck softly. her fingers rubbing your clit faster now. “she’s getting there baby” she said to chloe.

“damn right..you getting close baby?”

you could only nod as babbled nonsense came from you as chloes fingers curled over and over hitting that spot you could never reach. while ellies fingers rubbed your clit faster now, this was making you shake, you knew you were seconds away from a powerful orgasm, the biggest one of your life, at least for now.

“god! i-i can’t!” you cried. “let go baby c’mon.” “let it go. we got you baby. yeah. that’s it.”

you couldn’t deal. as your climax was coaxed from you, you let out one loud cry as your body convulsed in their arms, your walls clamped down hard on chloes fingers, she didn’t stop, drawing out every sound and shake she could from you.

your cries and gasps slowly turned into small hums and heavy sighs, chloe withdrew. her fingers from your pretty cunt showing ellie. “fuck. look at that.” ellie slowly rubbed your clit through the aftershocks until she stopped and grabbed chloes hand, her fingers glistening with your fluids. “gimmie.” chloe let her have it. she deserved it.

you and chloe watched as she licked your cum off chloes fingers, you let out a laugh from still being off that high chloe gave you. “goddamn..”

chloe came up beside you, ellie shifted you off her and laying on the other side of you instead. “how was that princess?” you giggled. “so fucking amazing..” chloe laughed, giving you a kiss. the taste of your pussy on her lips, something that you didn’t hate… “so you liked it?” you nodded. “absolutely.” you turn to her from ellies shoulder. “but i’m so sleepy..” ellie and chloe laughed, chloe being the one to get up. “stay here.” ellie went to get up as well, “no i got it. you did most of the work babe.” “alright. if you insist boss.” chloe smirked and snuggled into you while ellie went to clean you up. “love ya babe.” “me or her?” you giggled. “you know it’s both.” chloe caught ellies expression. you hummed in response. “i love you both so much.”

“love you too princess.” ellie called from the bathroom before chloe could answer. “and you, brat.” chloe rolled her eyes. “yeah yeah. love you too nerd”

“god, you two just fucked the shit out of me and you’re still being idiots.”

“two idiots in love with you.” chloe held you like a teddy bear, refusing to let you go. “now let’s nap, ellie can clean up.” “you’re insufferable.”

[deadghosy]

Ive just been reading your Lucifer big sister headcanons, and thier so so so so good, i love how you wrote it🥰. What about Lucifer with a little sister? Any thoughts? How different would he treat her? Maybe she fell at the same time as him and Lucifer blames himself for leading his sister down the same path as him. I can seen him being a protective older brother because come on their in hell surrounded by sinners its got to be stressful even tho she isnt weak what so ever but Lucifer can help but baby his sweet little sister.

(Obviously no pressure to write this)

Have a nice day 😁👋

As a younger sibling, I was gonna make this as I made the elder sister! So I’m glad you asked this as I can’t help but love to make this version. 🦆 sorry if it’s long, I just had fun making this🔥

YOUNGER SISTER! READER X PLATONIC HAZBIN HOTEL

Prompt: you are the younger sister of Lucifer Morningstar who fell along her older brother.

Dead ass you fell on top of Lucifer when you both fell from heaven.

“Groannsss….GET OFF!” Lucifer yells pushing you off him. You huffed getting off him as you dust yourself.

I headcannon reader to have a slight rebellious attitude sometimes like Adam but she’s not as terrible.

Like reader has a shirt that says “kiss my ass” with a kiss mark on the shirt as she puts up a rock gesture 🤟

Lucifer found your shirt and burned it, he can’t have his baby sister have such an inappropriate shirt!

“LU-LU! NOOO MY SHIRTTT” “THIS SHIRT IS NASTY LITTLE SIS!-”

He put his hand to your face to keep you away as he burned it. It was a funny sight as you huffed kicking him in his nuts as he groaned falling face first to the ground.

I also headcannon that reader is the reason why Charlie had a emo phase as reader kinda has a different aesthetic than Lucifer.

But on a serious note, Lucifer was kinda scared when you fell with him as he puts his hand through his hair watching you sleep. He couldn’t believe he brought his baby sister with him on his down fall. He knew he influenced you as you looked up to him more than the other angels. It was like if you were his child, his baby.

But he tucks you in bed as you were sprawled out in your bed snoring loudly. He chuckles kissing your head and leaving your room as he closes your door with a slight sad look.

Back to the funny sibling things, you are definitely the one who sneaks in the kitchen to take his leftovers for payback. After Lucifer walks out of his workshop tired and hungry.

You basically told him to take care of himself more. He walked in the kitchen to find his leftovers gone. So you could tell what happened next.

“Y/NNNNN!” You heard a fierce yell as you had shoved the food down your mouth and ran as you heard a loud flapping of wings behind you. “WHEN I CATCH YOU, YOU BETTER PRAY!”

It’s was so cartoony at how Lucifer chases you while you ran for you life. You have wings but he flys better than you so it’s no use.

He caught you, making you cook dinner for a month as you groan while he smirks patting a duck like a mafia man. “And you better wash the dishes too-” “NOW YOU ASKIN' TOOO MUCHHH!”

But soon the sinners came and made the freedom Lucifer gave them, turn into pure hell as you watch worried at the stress your older brother had. Lucifer tries to smile to show you it’s not affecting him, but it is.

He soon makes you stay all time in the palace, scared for your safety as you stay in your room worried at how isolated he soon becomes. Charlie would walk around babbling about you as she kept your company. You smile at your cute niece giving her boops to her nose.

I also headcannon you and Lucifer are like secret twins as you both hyper fixate about a lot of things like [favorite thing] as he hyper fixates on ducks and gives you his ducks to show off how cool he is as your older brother.

But also I can see reader being shorter than Lucifer, like to his shoulder as Lucifer blinks like a frog as you smile with an evil gremlin ready to stab someone.

But now for some overprotective brother headcannons.

You know how Lucifer when to see Charlie at her hotel, you joined wearing basically a female version of Lucifer’s outfit. But you wore shades to off your ✨coolness✨

Alastor was irritated at your louder personality but you also had a charming aura around you like how Lucifer has his prideful smile. Alastor smirks down at you as you are shorter than Lucifer, he kisses your hand with made you just stand there with a dotted blank expression.

Immediately Lucifer picks you up like a doll as he growls at Alastor like a dog ready to chump his hand off. He knew the radio demon just wanted to piss him off, so the whole time you were in the hotel with him. He always has you close and behind him from the radio demon.

Now if it was a sinner trying to court you, they better hope you don’t snitch like the young sibling you are. Cause ohhhh boy! Lucifer is teleporting to their house to give them nightmares. Maybe even killing them if they made you uncomfortable.

Heaven and hell agrees you are a cutie, demon or angel. Cause in heaven there were angels trying to court you but your brother was always behind you looking stern as he puff his chest trying to see if they suit you best.

Like literally he scares people off as you stand there minding your business.

“I feel a disturbance in the air…” Lucifer says as he was reading a book but pulls the curtains to see an angel trying to court you with their wings.

Immediately you’re being teleported to your room confused as a duck poofs in your hand.

“What the fuckkkk….” You say confused

[sunarryn]

DP X Marvel #7

Tony Stark had seen a lot of wild things in his life—aliens, Norse gods, sentient killer bots made by his own two hands—but nothing, nothing, could’ve prepared him for the day a literal ghost boy phased through the ceiling of Stark Tower and declared, “You’re my godfather now.”

Tony blinked. “…Did I drink last night?”

“No,” Pepper called from another room. “You’ve been sober for two years.”

“Right. Just checking. Then who the hell is this glowing child and why does he think I’m his godfather?”

Danny Fenton, age seventeen, half-ghost disaster and walking teenage trauma case, stood in the middle of the floor with glowing green eyes and the confidence of a raccoon that’s already tipped over the trash can. “Because I’m emotionally damaged and in need of a stable father figure who isn’t a power-obsessed megalomaniac with Oedipal issues.”

Tony stared.

Danny stared back.

Tony raised a brow. “Are you talking about your actual dad or—”

“Vlad Masters,” Danny spat like the name was poison. “He’s rich, insane, and wants to kill my dad and marry my mom. And I’m pretty sure he’s legally stalking me. So… yeah. You’re the anti-Vlad. Congratulations. You’re my godfather now.”

Tony looked like he was buffering. Then a slow, terrible grin crawled across his face. “…Hell yeah I am.”

And that was that. Danny Fenton moved into Stark Tower and the next day Tony updated the JARVIS files with: “New priority directive: Protect Ghost Goblin 1 (Danny Fenton).”

Then Peter Parker, long-suffering, perpetually confused, and not emotionally prepared for whatever was happening lately, stared as Danny literally walked through his bedroom wall and flopped onto his bed like they’d known each other for years.

“You ever heard of doors?” Peter asked, voice cracking slightly because holy hell the new godchild Tony was parading around was cute. Even if he looked like he hadn’t slept since the Cold War.

Danny ignored him. “Tony said I should ‘hang out with the spider boy’ because we’d be ‘trauma-compatible.’” He rolled over and stared at Peter upside-down. “Are you trauma-compatible, Peter?”

Peter looked to the heavens like they would help him. “I’m not emotionally ready for this conversation.”

“Cool. Me neither.” Danny pulled a full-size Fenton Thermos out of somewhere and sipped from it like it was a soda. “Wanna make out or emotionally repress things together?”

Peter sputtered. “Wh—WHAT?!”

Danny grinned with all his teeth. “That’s what Tony said you’d do. Panic adorably. You’re kinda proving his point.”

Meanwhile, Tony Stark was committing several war crimes from his living room.

“I’ve traced the GIW’s funding to three offshore accounts, two shell corporations, and one extremely sus Girl Scout cookie fundraiser. I’m calling in a missile strike in 3… 2…”

“Tony, no,” Pepper said without looking up from her tablet.

“Tony, YES.”

Tony had decided, rather quickly, that the GIW (Guys In White, a government ghost hunting agency that was somehow even more evil and incompetent than HYDRA on bath salts) needed to be permanently deleted from existence. Preferably with fire.

And when he found out that Danny’s biological parents had been working with them?

Tony sent Jazz a college fund with so many zeroes it crashed her banking app.

Jazz, who was nineteen, brilliant, and terrifying in the most Pepper Potts-coded way, politely declined Tony’s offer to adopt her.

Though she did let Pepper start mentoring her.

Within a month, she was managing several Stark subsidiary companies, speaking at conferences, and had already physically thrown three men out of boardrooms.

Tony watched her threaten a corrupt investor once and whispered, “That’s my girl—wait no, Pepper’s girl. Same difference.”

And then there was Dani.

Technically, Danielle. Biologically fifteen. Chronologically five. Personality-wise? A feral gremlin hopped up on ghost energy and sibling issues.

She and America Chavez met at a Stark Industries youth outreach event and instantly bonded over being “multiverse anomalies with authority issues.”

Now they were best friends, terrorizing New York and the surrounding dimensions like it was a competitive sport.

“DANI GET OFF THAT DINOSAUR.”

“YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU’RE NOT MY MOM.”

“AMERICA PUT THE SORCERER SUPREME DOWN.”

“HE STARTED IT.”

Stephen Strange started keeping antacids in his cape.

Meanwhile, Dani kept calling Tony “Iron Dad” and trying to hotwire the Quinjet for “ghost girl reasons.” Nobody could stop her. Nobody even tried anymore.

And then—as if the chaos weren’t enough—Dan showed up.

Danny’s alternate universe self, aged up to 21 because time travel is rude, and fused with Vlad in a Frankenstein disaster combo of trauma, rage, and nuclear hotness.

Dan was chaos incarnate.

He crashed through a multiversal rift during breakfast and immediately tried to flirt with Loki.

Loki, sipping tea in the kitchen, barely looked up. “You smell like war crimes and daddy issues.”

Dan purred, “You smell like abandonment trauma and repressed bisexuality.”

“Stop flirting with the Asgardian war criminal!” Jazz yelled from across the room.

“IT’S CALLED DIPLOMACY,” Dan yelled back.

Vlad, for his part, tried to retaliate by showing up at Stark Tower in a suit and monologuing about betrayal, destiny, and how Danny was meant to be his son/heir/lovechild/successor/whatever.

Tony tased him.

No hesitation. No words. Just taser.

Vlad hit the ground like a sack of sad midlife crisis potatoes.

“JARVIS,” Tony said cheerfully, “Put him in a cage. Have it labeled: Delusional Walmart Dracula.”

“Yes, sir.”

Later, Tony sold DALV.CO for one dollar to Pepper, who then dismantled the company in less than 72 hours and donated the parts to ghost safety research in underfunded schools.

Danny cried. “You guys are like… functional, emotionally regulated versions of the Addams family.”

Pepper patted his head. “We try.”

One day, Nick Fury called.

“I want an explanation,” Fury growled, “for why there’s a ghost child joyriding a helicarrier, a teenager that can rip holes in space-time, a clone spray painting ‘eat my ecto-butt’ on Avengers Tower, and why the hell Loki is apparently married to a fusion of two ghosts!”

Tony just sipped his drink and said, “It’s called found family, Baldy.”

Fury blinked. “What?”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

Peter, off-camera, shouted, “DANNY STOP TRYING TO PHASE THROUGH MY WALL I SAW THAT.”

“You can’t stop me, Peter!”

“YES I CAN, THIS IS A RENT-CONTROLLED BUILDING.”

“I love you too!”

And somewhere, across the infinite multiverse, Clockwork watched all of this with a sigh and a sip of tea.

He was going to need so much aspirin.