#will do these before i finish writing any other silly lil fanfics

[rdhadastroke]

So this straw-masked dumbass decided to do a thing and share some personal tips about writing fanfiction/writing someone else's character/writing in general!

Please keep in mind that I am a hobbyist writer, not a professional! These are just suggestions/things that help me that may or may not work for you, please feel free to correct me or add your own anecdotes :)

Tips for getting ready to write:

Make sure that you're in an environment where you can concentrate.

Whether that be in a quiet room, a chatty café, or blasting your eardrums out with music, whatever gets you in the groove is good. Not everybody can focus in the same environment, so your choice of surroundings for when you right aren't going to be the same as everyone else's. I (personally) listen to long video essays, my current favorite song on loop, or a playlist about the story/characters.

Clear a space for where you want to write.

Clear the space of excess clutter and keep only what you need. If what you need to write is a lot, that's fine! Having too much going on at once in your writing space can overwhelm and/or distract you. I know from personal experience.

Have all of your materials at hand.

Character sheets, previous stories, note paper to jot down ideas, rough environment & scene sketches... Whatever references and tools you need, keep them with you! Also, keep a glass of water or some other drink nearby. Hydrate or diedrate, my friends.

Make sure that you won't be interrupted while you're writing.

This may not be an option for those of you living with your parents or a roommate, but it's ideal for your creative flow to go undisturbed, uninterrupted, and unwatched. Is your father really watching you write your fanfic? No, probably not, considering that he's snoring. But it still feels weird to write when he's sitting in his armchair right behind you. No, I am not projecting my experience onto the reader under the cover of an absurd joke, why would you say that?

Now that setup is out of the way, let's go over some actual writing stuff:

Always, always, always block out what you want to write before you actually write it.

By "block out", I mean give a basic summary of the events you want to take place in that chapter or segment. I usually do this event-by-event because I struggle to carry on a story without an outline, but you can do it by chapter or by paragraph if you'd like. Make jokes in your mini-summaries, and phrase things in wacky ways (that convey things to you effectively)! You don't have to be too serious about it. After all, if you're in a lil silly goofy mood, you can get an epic sentence like this:

If you get stuck on a part of a story, move on and save it for later.

If you're anything like me, you understand the screaming, crying, pissing, pants-shittingly frustrating experience of not knowing how to describe something or figure out what should be said next. As angering as it is, it's okay. Just write a mini block-in for what you want to happen, want to describe, or the general tone of what you want to be said. Or use a keyword that you can Ctrl+F for to finish those pesky scenes when you're ready. If your writing software can do it (I have no clue if any one program does this, I only use Google Docs), mark the spot for review to return to it later. If you're one of those frighteningly powerful people who write stories by hand, highlight it and paste what you want to go there over it once you're ready. If you aren't familiar with this infuriating part of writing, you're a lucky bastard and I envy you immensely.

If you have writer's block, there are 8 potential strategies (that I can provide) you can use to alleviate it.

These are NOT surefire fixes for writer's block and are EXTREMELY subjective and results will vary from person to person, but they can potentially help you.

Read a book. Sometimes reading how another author writes (dialogue, scenery, figurative language, etc.) can help you get a better grasp of what you want to write, and how you want to write it. You might even get inspired to make a different story, which bleeds into the next point.

Work on/start a different story. (This isn't always the best way to get out of writer's block, so if you can't get a word down, this probably won't help.) Sometimes changing what you're working on can free up the ink clogged in your pen, for lack of a better phrase, and give you an, "aha!" moment.

Eat and drink something. Brains don't work when they don't have fuel, so feed your machine. Frequent maintenance keeps an engine running smooth, so occasionally get a snack and make sure to keep hydrated.

Take a walk and get some fresh air, and touch some grass for the love of god. Jokes aside, getting your body moving can excite your brain into working and clear some brain fog, since exercise gives your brain a dose of serotonin. As silly as it sounds, sitting in the sun and touching some grass can actually make you feel nice and rejuvenated, it helps me a lot. Even if you don't go outside, moving around is a good way to give your brain a break.

Talk to a friend and get their input. Their ideas can get you through a tough spot and inspire you to get writing again.

Look at pretty pictures and distract yourself from what you're doing. I have pictures of art pieces and doodles I like hanging in front of the desk where I write, and losing myself in pretty stuff helps me work through what I'm struggling with.

Jot down notes by hand on what you're trying to do. Planning things out on pen and paper, despite being tedious, imprints information in your mind and can be useful to your writing needs

If you're writing a fanfiction, look at the source material. Chances are, there's something there that could help you along.

If you don't have the motivation to write anything, don't.

This isn't the best advice for someone who's on a time limit, but works wonders for passion projects and fun stories. Very few do their best work when they force themselves to do it. Besides, there's no point in having a hobby if you don't get joy out of it and overly stress over it.

Writing someone else's character? No problemo, here's some fanfic help:

Always look at the source material, and don't be shy to explore new territory with the character.

It's important to stay true to the personality of a character when you're writing someone else's creation, but don't be afraid to throw in some headcanons and artistic flair. Remember, there's a difference between writing a character unrealistically (pertaining to personality, likes, interests, and universe/world/time period) and changing the circumstances of the original story. Characters are people too, and people react differently to the same thing depending on the world around them. A character may not have [x] trait if [y] event never happened, likewise [y] event never would have happened if this character didn't have [x] trait. Take into consideration the people around the character, as well, as they can also affect what the character does and how they develop. Change up small events in the original source material's story to get a different story and a different reaction out of the character. Experiment, and have fun! It's your story, write it your way!

That's all the advice I have for now, and I hope I was helpful! :)))

[lolacouldnotcareless]

Salut! Ça va?

all your wip titles are super intriguing but I would really love to hear more about any of these ones (you decide!):

the dead should stay dead

mystérieuse disparition

i don't like dreaming

OurHandsMeet

If I Never Call You Home Again

hello dsjbfhsje ça va et toi? :3 <3

sorry for the slight delay in reply dhfhdsj but here we go you shall hear about them all sbfhshdbfjsh

i talked about the dead should stay dead in this ask, but here's another heartbreaking tidbit for you: the younger brother was never alone. his eldest brother might have been dead, but he never was alone. he just couldn't see it. and for everyone else, unaware of his deal, they lost not one, but two dear friends.

mystérieuse disparition is about, you guessed it, a mysterious disappearance jdbhfhjdfb more seriously, the disappearance itself isn't mysterious, but it is treated as such. it's a kind of short story in relation to ursula k le guin's "the ones who walk away from omelas," where in order to have a thriving city full of joy, a child must suffer greatly. everyone knows about that child, and they accept that their joy comes at the price of a child's misfortune. those who cannot accept it walk away from the city and never come back. no one knows what lies further away from omelas, no one knows if those who walked away are even alive. and this is the starting point for my short story: a sister whose sister walked away from omelas is trying her hardest to still live there. her sister's disappearance isn't a mystery: she couldn't bare the price of her constant happiness. but, even if they don't think it, other people tend to say "i don't know why she would disappear like that." and so the sister who stays is left dealing with her own hurt. now the pain has become personal for her

i don't like dreaming is. loosely based on some of my own dreams and some of one of my sisters'. but they are more like. nightmares lmao. it's about grief and fear of someone else's death.

I tell my sister, who is scared when she sees us in her dreams, that I do not always dream of death, or them dying. This is only a half-truth. They do die. But they come back.

OurHandsMeet oh my god listen sit down this risks to take some time. so this is the story of a silly lil baker from the first half of the middle ages who got cursed and has to live trapped in time as he has to discover what was the origin of that curse and how to break it. the silly lil baker, guillemme, becomes a long-suffering lil guy who just wants to die at this point. he has seen to much, more than a thousand years of human history and same mistakes being repeated. throughout time, he helps other cursed people, and among them, another guy whose memory got wiped a few times. that guy picks the name of ambroise. for a hundredish years, they each go in their own lil adventures but meet every 10 years or so, and one day, ambroise doesn't come back to their meeting point. another few dozens of years or so later, guillemme, who still comes every 10 years to the meeting point, discovers ambroise who once more doesn't remember anything and only found this place thanks to some hidden notes he must have written before, which told him to not trust his father, to flee immediately, and to find guillemme as soon as possible. as you can imagine there are also a lot of complicated feelings involved <3 there's also another project with guillemme's sister, yseult, who isn't technically cursed, but it's a benediction which turned out badly, as she and her partner have made the vow to find each other in every lifetime, and they fail so many times she doesn't even want to try anymore. i swear it's a happy ending i swear-

If I Never Call You Home Again is a companion piece to another cql fanfic that i had finished writing but haven't published, and i wrote it so many years ago that i both want to rewrite some passage but i feel like it would also be a travesty to do so? so IINCYHA is from the pov of lan sizhui going on a lil trip with wen ning to discover what is left from their heritage. lan sizhui's part deals with guilt, guilt of being a survivor of some kind, guilt of not having any memories, guilt of forgetting (even if he was barely old enough to form memories and it was all very traumatic). he's conflicted in his identity, as a wen and as a lan. is he a wen, as per his birth, or a lan, as per his upbringing? what if he could councile both?

[mehoymalloy]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks for the tag, @foibles-fables!

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

29!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

286,054!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Most frequently, Critical Role, though I still have a few WIPs in Horizon and Stray Gods that I absolutely intend to get back to eventually.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm fudging this question a bit, because the lower three are all the same series from back when I first started writing two years ago. Unsurprisingly, Sing for Me (SG, Rated E) and Prometheus Bound (HFW, Rated M) are the heavy hitters, followed by the Tilda POV series with a slightly more modest kudos count. After that comes Through Eyes of Grace (SG, Rated T) and Mutually Assured Destruction (HFW, Rated E).

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do! I think the only fic I didn't respond to most comments was When the Darkness Comes, since it was 30 chapters posted all at once. It somehow felt like skewing the stats (which I realize is silly; I'll likely respond to all comments on any on-going long-fics, after all). But yeah, I like to lavish love and gratitude and enthusiasm onto commenters, since they go out of their way to do the same for my stories~

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Prometheus Bound BY FAR.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably my entry for the Horizon Rare-Pair Round Up event: Radiance.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not to my face or in my fic comments. Or even out in the wild very much, to my knowledge.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! Enemies to enemies who FUC- I mean, lovers. A lot of focus on zoomed in physicality details and hard feelings from characters who would rather do anything than acknowledge their feelings (like idk hate fuck it out). I joke but I also have some softer smut for Stray Gods and my Moon Moms AU.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I never have!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, but my lovely friend @inomakani and I now have multiple fic ideas/drafts we like to scream at each other about, and we'll write them together as well, one day~

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Do I even have to say it? I mean, I will happily shout it from the rooftops: IMOGEN/OTOHAN!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmmm... There's an old draft called "Aloy is ticklish" that was a fluffy lil Aloy and the GAIA Gang+Talanah one-shot that I likely won't dust off ever again for no particular reason.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Succinct-ish but evocative setting description, I like to think. Internal feelings, and how they're expressed externally through small details in body language. And Tension, of course.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue; "would they say that??" is a recurring question for me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I would do so if needed for characterization purposes!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Horizon! Specifically, Horizon Forbidden West!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oh wow that's a hard one... Since I'm in the midst of plotting (and now writing!) its sequel, I'll say Let Me Lay Waste to Thee. It's my first (well, thee first) Imogen/Otohan fic that kicked off my love for this beautifully fucked up ship :3

It's a free for all tag, folks! So feel free to snag and tag me~

[beanghostprincess]

Any tips for beginners fanfic writhers? I am working on a fic about Asl+Uta on Ao3, I currently just put up the first chapter.

Aw, I'm so glad you asked me this. I don't know exactly what to tell you, honestly, so I'll do my best to give you some pieces of advice!

First of all, some basic/technical AO3 stuff:

Don't tag side pairings if they don't have a big role in the story or show up only like, once. Because that only fills their tag with unwanted fics their readers aren't interested in, and it will just be bothersome and sort of like spamming.

It really does work better if you write your fic on a Google Doc and then paste it to AO3 because that way you make sure you have it safe and sound in your lil folder. Drafts disappear from your account if you don't update them!

You can be silly in the tags but don't overdo it because people are there reading those to know what the fic is about. I always end up making jokes there but if it's a wall full of tags, people won't read it.

I personally don't like long summaries. It's better to just write a few lines that describe the fic vaguely and let the tags talk for the genre. You can even just paste some sentences from the fic and it'll look great!

I've written long fics with various chapters but I personally post it all together instead of weekly, but that's just me. Most people believe it's better to do it every week. In my case, I just do this because I often never finish shit and I prefer to just, you know, be sure I have all the fic done before posting.

Now for a more personal advice:

Don't worry about the amount of comments you get. That doesn't rate your fic. Most people don't even comment because they read at night and they're tired! Perhaps they just don't like commenting! But that doesn't mean your fic isn't good or hasn't changed their lives. I can promise you the only reason people don't leave comments is because they're lazy, but they probably liked your fic.

Don't expect results right away. I've had fics on AO3 that didn't get attention after weeks since I published them. Have in mind that the people who read are real people, and it's- It's like working on a store, you know? Some people might not come in a Monday morning, because they might be working/studying, but you might get more attention a Friday night.

Reread your fanfic all the times you want until you feel satisfied to post it. Never post something you aren't satisfied with because then, what's the point? Meeting the deadline? What deadline? It's YOUR fanfic. YOUR baby. You can do whatever you want.

Following that same rule: You can do whatever you want. Write whatever you want. Seriously, if people like it they will read it, and if they don't? Fuck them. You're doing this for you and because you like writing.

Get yourself a Beta reader. It doesn't matter if it's your friend or a mutual. It's always great to have somebody checking the fanfic for you! For me it's my girlfriend and I swear it's great to hear other people's opinions before posting.

If I'm being honest, I don't know what else to tell you. I've been writing fanfics for ages and I think I've just been vibing all this time. I don't consider myself a professional or anything but!! I hope I helped you somehow <3 If you have any other questions please, don't be shy and ask me!!

[nvvermore]

coming soon: amaryllis and vesper’s hometown reworked and a solid explanation of amaryllis’s non-apprentice backstory 

[eveningdrinking]

plasma fic but jays fucking not having it (tw: ed) finished!

my silly little comfort fanfic, not the best thing i wrote, just wanted to test my writing skills in english!

It's all started pretty innocent: a few "you can have it!"s and a lot of "maybe later"s. But it was happening more and more often, so someone eventually had to notice how disturbing the change was. 

The first one to grow suspicious of Jay's behavior was Kai. As the three of them chatted by the table, Jay seemed to be listening to them carefully. Yet his stare was blank and his fingers were tapping the wooden surface as if he tried to play a slow, quiet song. Kai then, seeing Jay's state, tried to ask "Everything's alright?" which he responded to by nodding his head.

"Yeah. Just a lil' tired". 

"But you feeling better today? Goin' to eat anything?" He asked because the day before Jay said he was a little nauseous and didn't feel like having dinner. 

"Mhm. But I think I'll have something later so that Lloyd will have someone to eat with." With that said, he stood up. 

"Good idea. Him having to train while we eat is dumb as fuck. Has to heat up food and shit every time. I can join you guys, maybe?" 

Jay shook his head "Nah, it's cool! You're probably tired after today so I won't make you wait any longer. And.. I have to talk to Lloyd about something, y'know?"

"Oh, yeah, 'kay" 

Then he left. 

In the evening they all decided to play games. As the time went on, most of them left for sleep, Jay being first, leaving only Lloyd and Kai sitting on the couch. 

"So.. What did ya talk about? You and Jay?" If Kai thought the excuse was real, he wouldn't give a shit about their personal conversation. But he didn't. And had to check it. 

"Uh… When?" Said Lloyd, still focused on the game. 

"Like, at the dinner?" 

"You forgot we don't eat together or somethin'?" 

"No, I know, he just.. I was curious if you two met. Didn't see him after until like now." He didn't know if he should talk about his suspicions with someone other than Jay. 

"Huh, well, I saw him when I finished the training, we didn't talk much. Said something about the weather or other stuff, I don't really remember." He laughed a little bit to put an end to the talk. 

Kai tried to at least smile.

"Hey, man? You there?" Kai knocked on the door a few times. Upon hearing the fast "Come in", he opened the door and stepped inside. 

"What's up?" The red-haired guy was sitting on the bed cross-legged and typing something quickly onto his laptop. 

"Whatcha doin'?" Let's start non straightforward. 

"Nothing important actually." Jay turned off the computer and set it aside. "You not sleeping yet?" 

"No, wanted to talk a little" There was no need to keep waiting. 

"Sure. About what?" 

"Like," Kai sat next to Jay on his bed. "about you? Kinda?" This made Jay look confused. "Something's wrong?" 

"No? Is there?" Jay answered with a question. 

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. How was dinner with Lloyd?"  That was the moment when Jay knew he couldn't escape the inevitable. The look on Kai's face, the blunt question, it all reminded him of something that already happened. 

"I don't- don't understand? The fact that I missed today's dinner isn't really worth talking about" 

"It was not only today's dinner, y'know? Hey." Seeing guilt in Jay's eyes he moved so that he was face to face with him and reached for his hand. "I just want to know what's wrong. You've been acting differently these days."

No answer. 

"... Jay, you definitely eat too-" 

"Leave me the fuck alone" Jay covered his face with both of his hands and curled his body a little. 

Surprised, Kai had no idea what to do. He took a few breaths and tried to say something. "It's fucking dangerous, you know? I have no idea why you act like-"

"Like what?" Jay looked at him, fear and embarrassment in his eyes. "Like a child? Yeah, that's true. So that's settled, so fuck off." He started staring at the floor. He wasn't actually saying this to Kai but to himself. 

Kai stood up and breathe in. "You realize you just made me sure that somethings very wrong? Maybe we'll talk about it when we're both calm?" That wasn't really Kai's way of solving problems but seemed like the only rational one right now. 

"No! I don't.. I don't know…" He also stood up while saying this. "I… Kai, I'm sorry.. I'm so fucking sorry, I'm just- so tired of this and-" He started tearing up which was only noticeable by the cracks in his voice, as his head was lowered. His fingers were dug in his other arm. "I kind of thought.. That you all won't notice" 

Kai stepped forward to place a hand on Jay's shoulder. "I think everyone kind of noticed" Those words made the boy sob louder. "It's because we care, yeah?" Kai added, trying to make the situation better. "Is this the first time it's happening?" Jay shook his head. "Maybe you can tell me about it?" 

Kai led them both to sit on the bed again, this time Jay placed his head on the other's shoulder and played with his hands for comfort. "It has kind of- always been that way..- My parents never had like a.. full pantry of products and it made me feel like… Food is very valuable? ..God, that sounds so dumb when I say it out loud."

"No, no, it's not dumb, I understand. That's why you eat so little?" 

"...That was the beginning I think? It just made me think… that some people need it more than me and I need to earn any food somehow.. Uhm.."

"Jay, food's like the basic thing a person deserves no matter what."

"But that- I- It doesn't change the fact that I just sometimes get into this.. Weird state when I- I can't eat anything or I'll throw up or something" His voice was quieter with every word said. "I don't want you all to see how I'm fucking fighting with myself to eat so I just.. don't. ...Everyday I'm just hoping it'll go away, because-.. sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse, like.. now."

Kai pulled Jay into a hug. "You should've said something. We would understand."

"..I wasn't sure, it's pretty weird after all" 

"It's not weird, it's dangerous to you. Maybe we'll try little by little?" 

"Like how?" Jay wiped his face with his hand. "I don't really see what we should do with a problem that's ongoing for like 10 years."

"We'll try. Like I said - small steps. Maybe you want to eat dinner in your room? Would that help?" 

"Uhm.. Maybe. Yeah, should help. Just don't expect me to eat all of it, okay?" 

"Okay. Want to talk about it more? Or about anything else, really, I am here to listen."

"I guess.. But not now. I need to think about it a little. That's fine?" 

"Totally fine." Kai then pulled Jay closer and gently kissed his forehead. "Take as much time as you want."

[uwuch9n]

hey !!! today i’m gonna be trying to write some fluff to calm myself down and also try out something new in the process ! hope whoever reads this enjoys it :)

characters: kenma, nb y/n (self insert or oc) and a bit of kuroo :D

warnings or possible triggers: ear biting, neck kissing, wrists/arms being touched, stressed/overworked/anxious reader, and a thunderstorm/heavy rain ! please do not continue reading if any of these things could trigger any unwanted reactions ! maybe the next time i write some fluff or sfw fanfics you’ll be able to read ‘em !

a nice welcome home.

after a long day at your new job, a manga artist, you decided to end your shift for the night and head back home. you wiped the sweat off your forehead but the stress wasn’t easy to get rid of. the office wanted the manga to be done as soon as possible and you couldn’t get the last few pages right. it was very obviously a hard week for you. luckily it was a friday so you’d get saturday off, but sunday you had to go back.

after getting yourself together you stuffed your things into your bag and walked out to get in your car.

“hey there y/n! lookin great huh, i see you’re ready to go home to lil kenken right?? how you doing?” said kuroo as he ran into you right outside the establishment. he worked near that area and decided to stop by, luckily he walked into you at the right time.

“im doing well,, i guess.. i just was overthinking a bit but i’m sure tomorrow, or even tonight, i’ll be able to refresh myself and relax..” you said almost trying to avoid contact for the time being. kuroo noticed you didn’t seem to excited about things and so he decided to give you some words of encouragement.

“i’m sure whenever you get to relax you’ll be ready for work again! and besides you got a lil pal waiting for you at home, don’t you look forward to that?? he’s pretty good at comforting,, and i should know”- he chuckled. you gave him a smile and nodded in agreement. you let out a sigh and walked off to your car right before kuroo grasped your left shoulder and pulled you in for a hug. he patted your head with his hand and reassured you. you got a little flustered,, but kept it in.

“you’re doing amazing, really. i know you work really hard, so make sure to cool off, ‘kay? you got this in the bag!” he said, you clearly being able to sense his smile through his decently raspy voice. he let you go and gave you a little push to get you back together after the short hug, and you both waved goodbye.

well that was quite an experience. you knew that kuroo wasn’t a homewrecker, especially when it came to kenma’s s/o, but he was getting much more comfortable and supportive with you. that made you happy, but after thinking about what had just happened, you refocused and started your car.

you drove through the freeway and noticed all the billboards promoting businesses that you knew you’d rather be working at. you meet a stop sign and let out a sigh while other cars drive by. when it’s time to go, you go, as one would normally do, but you noticed that some water droplets were gently hitting the windshield of your car. it started getting a bit rougher and even more water droplets starting hitting your windshield, only this time they got louder.

you could hear all the other cars driving by thanks to the water that was slightly flooding the streets. you make a swift turn into your apartment complex and slowed down as you arrived at your apartment. you park at your designated spot and turn off your car. you adjust your bag straps that had fallen off your shoulder without you realizing, and reached into the back side of your car to get your umbrella. unfortunately it wasn’t there so you’d have to get wet, and it was raining pretty heavily. you sighed and reached into your cup holder for your apartment keys and got the right key ready in your hand for when you got to the door.

you slam your car door and lock it.

“goddamit” you let out as you start feeling your clothes getting humid. your shoes were hitting the floor inundated by the rain. you started running towards your door which fortunately was on the first floor. you inserted the key into the keyhole and turned your wrist gently as you peeked into the window. you could see the flashing lights of the tv. kenma was probably playing games again.

you closed the door and brushed yourself off as you glanced at kenma who had turned to see what that noise was. he knew it was you but he still wanted to see your pretty tired face. you gently took of your shoes and put your jacket and bag on the racks on the wall next to the door. you pushed your shoes with your foot and went to put on your favorite slippers.

“hey love, how did today go..?” asked kenma in a soft gentle voice, as to not startle you while you still were trying to shake off the water that had been absorbed by your clothes. you look up at kenma with an exhausted expression. “today was very stressful,, my manager told me to hurry up,, the artwork is due literally wednesday of next week and i can’t even get the stuff i’m working on now finished and-” kenma stopped your rambling by gesturing a hug and making gentle movements to come here with his small hands. you looked at him with a surprised expression, and then quickly changed it to a pleasant smile.

by then you realized that he had paused his game and the music of the game was still playing in the background, only a little quieter then when it’s actually on. you head to his little pile of blankets and pillows, and saw your favorite stuffed animal and a few snacks already set up for you for when you came home. that made you feel a lot better than before. “hey kenken, what’s all this stuff?” you asked acting clueless, but also trying to hear what he had to say about the setup. “it’s just a few things for you to pick out from,, i even brought you your little frog plushie; i know you like it..” he said while grabbing it and handing it to you. he blushed a little as you took it from his hands, gently caressing his as you did.

you took a look at a frog plushie but before you could get a full 360° look of it you saw kenma’s slender hands covering the two small black eyes of the plush. he set the plush down on your lap and grabbed your wrists. he knew your wrists were probably tired and sore after all that nonstop sketching at work, so he started gently rubbing them with his thumbs. he looked at your hands as he did, and then looked up at you. you had a cute shocked expression which he loved to paint on your face. he giggled and then went in for a kiss on the cheek.

after his soft tender lips were lifted from your cheek, you felt a bit of rustling and then a little blow on your ear which made you squirm. he bit it gently and kissed the side of your neck, while you sat there a bit flustered. kenma was usually the type to just give you a kiss on the cheek and continue playing his game, but recently you were getting much more attention from him. you didn’t mind it though, you kinda enjoyed it rather.

“you don’t have to give me neck kisses y’know..” you said hoping that he wouldn’t listen and just continue for a good minute. he of course didn’t stop and completely brushed off what you had just said. he moved to your shoulder and started kissing it, and then he pulled away. he look at you and gave you a smile, leaning in for a kiss afterwards. you kissed back and then grabbed him by the shoulders. both of you were blushing intensely, his blush just a little more calmed down, but it was there nonetheless.

“let’s eat some snacks, shall we?” you say after pulling away from the kiss and sitting there being a hot mess. you could hear the rain only getting rougher and rougher, and at one point you heard thunder. it was gonna be a loooong night. “let’s do that then” he said smiling as he reached over to the bowl full of strawberry pocky and small chocolate chip cookies. he fed you a stick of the strawberry coated biscuit and you nommed down on it happily, while he pulled away the excess pocky stick and brushed crumbs off of your lips with his thumb. his hand grasped the side of your face and he went to kiss your cheek once again before feeding you the rest of the pocky.

kenma turned to face the tv and then slowly got up to grab another controller for you to play with, since he was already playing a game and he wanted you to play along as well. you watched his flimsy self get up and come back to the floor in front of the couch. he sat down criss cross apple sauce style and handed you the controller, all while the thunder was still alive and the rain was still pouring.

“do you want to keep playing this game or... another game i have in our room...?” asked kenma in hopes that you’d say you wanted to continue playing the game he was already playing. he didn’t want to get up when he was right next to you. “this game seems fun, i’d love to play it with you” you said happily as you took the controller he had handed you and held it correctly so that he could get the multiplayer setting on and you’d be ready when he did.

you heard silly sound effects from when he switched the setting to multiplayer, and it filled you up with motivation for some reason. the thunderstorm and heavy raining didn’t bother you anymore because you knew you’d be safe with kenma. the music of the game got louder and kenma slowly lowered it a bit as to not disturb the apartment building. “you have to jump over the brown mushrooms and then jump into the green tubes and-” “..super mario bros..? don’t worry baby i know how to play this one” you winked at him and he let out a giggle.

he layed his head on your left shoulder which made you blush, and you followed it with a wide-eyed expression. he didn’t look too into it though, he was just focused in the game, and for him it was only nature. you rested your head on top of his and continued to play. time passed and it was around 2 AM. you and kenma had played for hours, and kenma was seemingly getting pretty tired, just as you were. “hey bub do you want to maybe go to bed now?” you suddenly paused the game and asked. “bed..?” he looked confused. he directed his eyes to the couch behind you two and you followed, quickly looking back at him.

“do you want to sleep on the couch tonight?” you put the puzzle pieces together. he nodded his head. “you don’t have work tomorrow so i figured you wouldn’t mind sleeping with me on the couch....” he said quietly in hopes that you would. you grabbed his face with your warm hands and kissed his forehead. “yeah of course i do!” you said trying to be enthusiastic, although your tired face barely allowed it. you both got up and he laid on the couch. you tried getting the bowl of snacks from off the floor and bring them to the kitchen but kenma quickly pulled you into his arms.

“tomorrow.. tomorrow we can clean up...” he said exhausted as you now were covering his body with yours. you adjusted yourself as did kenma and you both got into ‘cuddle mode.’

his arms wrapped around your body and you slowly started to kiss him all over. he laid his head back onto the arm of the couch. you relaxed your stiffened body, and closed your eyes as the music from the video game slowly faded away into nothing. kenma’s arms rubbed your back and moved to your head and shoulders. he gave you a final kiss on your head before drifting off to sleep.

that’s all ! i hope you enjoyed this self insert x kenma fluff fanfic ! if this does any good i’ll consider writing more fluff in the future :))

[verai-marcel]

Into The Wolf’s Den, Ch. 2 (RDR2 Fanfic, 18+ ONLY)

Chapter 1 and tags here.

Find it on AO3 here.

You sat on the bed, noting in the mirror how small you looked on the big mattress. You weren't a small woman by any means, but right now, when you looked up at Arthur as he stalked towards you, intimidating as hell, you felt tiny.

“You break into my place, thinkin’ you can get away with it?” he growled. He stood in front of you and grabbed your hair, pulling your head back.

“Please Mr. Morgan, don't tell anyone. I'll do anything,” you begged, looking up at him, fluttering your eyelashes.

He smirked down at you. “Anythin’?”

“Anything,” you repeated, slowly, suggestively. Glancing down, you saw how your words were affecting him and suppressed your grin. Trying to look remorseful, you looked back up at him and pouted.

Arthur let go of your hair and stepped back, grabbing a pillow from the bed and putting it on the ground in front of you. “Maybe you should beg for forgiveness.”

You slid off his bed and kneeled in front of him. “Please Mr. Morgan,” you cooed as you reached up to unzip his jeans. Reaching inside, you wrapped your fingers around his semi-hard cock and pulled it out, stroking him as you looked up and licked your lips. “Please forgive me.”

And you took him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip as you bobbed your head. The shuddering moan you heard was the sweetest reward. His hands dug into your hair, tugging as you went deeper, swallowing as much of him as you could. You started to fondle his balls when he suddenly pulled you off.

“I might forgive you. Take your clothes off. Slowly.”

He sat on the bed as you got up off your knees. Standing before him, you felt shy as you fumbled with your jeans and your shirt. He just watched you, waiting for you to finish as you slid off your panties and unclasped your bra, letting it drop to the ground with the rest of your clothes.

Arthur just sat and watched as you stood still, waiting for his next command. Finally he gestured with his fingers for you to come closer, and you stepped into the circle of his arms.

He surprised you by pulling you over his lap so you were face down, his cock pressed against your stomach. He rubbed your ass, and you knew what was coming. You tensed.

Instead, Arthur started stroking your slit with two fingers, spreading your slick and teasing your entrance.

“Arthur!” you gasped when he brushed against your clit. He removed his hand and gave you a loud slap on your bottom.

“Did I say you could call me by my first name?”

“N-no, Mr. Morgan,” you answered shakily as he rubbed your skin where he had spanked you. You started to relax after his hands trailed up your back, then back down all the way to your lower thighs, and back up again.

He suddenly spanked you again, making you yelp in surprise.

“Better start countin’,” he said. “Gonna give ya ten.”

Smack.

“One!”

You kept count, each impact a little harder and in a different spot. He’d try to distract you by fingering your slit for a little bit, or gently caressing your skin, soothing the burning on your ass. But you persevered, not getting distracted from the counts, and made it to ten.

“Good girl,” he praised, and you smiled up at him from your prone position over his lap. His eyes darkened as he leered. “But I ain’t satisfied yet.” He pulled you up and guided you to lay in the middle of the bed. You looked up to see ropes tied to his headboard. He grabbed one of the ends and looked at you, smirking. Silently he tied your wrists together.

You tugged once experimentally and found it to be a pretty solid knot. Watching him leave the bed and go to the closet, a small feeling of anxiety started to take hold in the back of your mind. You didn't really know him, did you? Sure, you two had been spending weekends together for weeks, but before that? What was his past? He didn't talk about it, and you didn't ask, but that didn't mean you weren't curious.

You suddenly felt relieved that you had written Arthur's address on your fridge. Your best friend and you had a policy: if you were going out somewhere, you'd always write the address on your fridge, and she did the same, so if something ever happened to either of you, the other would know where to start looking.

As Arthur turned around after finding what he was looking for, you tried to mentally come back to where you were before he tied you up. He'd done this before to you with no problem, but being here, in his space, completely at his mercy… The thought of it had been hot at first, but in practice, you were having second thoughts.

Arthur sat next to you, cupping your cheek in his big hand. He didn't say anything; he just waited.

“Lemon,” you finally said.

He kissed your temple and started to untie your wrists.

“Wanna feel you grabbin’ onto me anyway,” he said in a husky voice. After he untied you, he pressed his forehead against yours, silently asking if you were still okay.

“That was a little scary, Mr. Morgan,” you said, a small quirk of your lips the only indication that you broke character.

Arthur smiled and kissed your lips. “You feel like you been punished enough, baby girl?”

You nodded.

"I think you could use a lil' more punishment," he said, his voice deepening. You finally looked in his other hand to see what he had grabbed from the closet. It was a collar and leash. You swallowed.

He looked at you thoughtfully for a moment, then tapped your nose with the collar.

"I'll save this for next time," he said, putting the collar and leash on the nightstand.

He was reading your reactions even faster than you were processing them. Getting back up from the bed, he slowly took his clothes off, knowing exactly what he was doing to you, especially when he slid his jeans and boxers off. The V of his hips, the trace of abs, defined pecs, and his thick arms made your mouth water. Here was a man who could pick you up, probably with just one arm, and carry you around effortlessly.

The memory of him holding you in his arms while he thrust up into you made you whimper. He heard you and smirked, crawling back onto the bed, gently pushing you down and covering your body with his.

"You gonna be a good girl for me?" he asked.

"Yes, Sir," you replied.

He hummed a low, appreciative sound at your response before he leaned down to kiss you. Then he rolled over and sat up, leaning against the headboard. He crooked his finger in a 'come here' motion, and you straddled him, placing your hands on his shoulders.

Holding onto your hips, he lowered you onto his thick cock, slowly, controlling your movements. Whenever you moved, his fingers would dig in and keep you still until you relaxed and let him move you again. You leaned your head back and sighed when he finally pulled you all the way down, his shaft fully inside of you, filling you in a way no one else could.

His hands roamed up your body to fondle your breasts, cupping them in his hands. "Keep your hands on my shoulders and ride me," he ordered.

You moved at your own pace, lifting up and dropping onto him languidly, enjoying the feeling of him stretching you. His quiet moans and puffs of breath were erotic, his gaze dark and piercing as you rode him. You reached down to pleasure yourself, but he immediately grabbed your wrist and put your hand back on his shoulder.

"Did you just move your hands?"

You gulped.

He suddenly lunged forward, pushing you down onto your back as he got up on his knees. Grabbing your hips, he pulled your body up and onto his cock. Then he gripped your throat with one hand, kept his hold on your hip with the other, and started pounding into you, hard and fast. The shift was so sudden that it took your breath away. You could barely cry out, the only sounds coming from you were wheezing gasps for air.

"Such a bad girl. You need me to teach you how to behave, ain't that right?"

"Yes Sir," you gasped, his words alone in that deep, growly voice filling you with a heated desire that spread through your body.

"Is this what you wanted? For me to fuck you?"

"Yes Mr. Morgan," you begged as he thrust harder into you.

"Shoulda just asked, silly girl." He grabbed your wrists and held you down, your hands on either side of your head as he shifted his angle and took you harder. "Who do you belong to?"

"You, Sir!" you cried, wrapping your ankles behind his back and squeezing your legs, pulling him closer to you.

He let go of your wrists and forced you to hold your own legs apart so he could stroke your clit as he moved in and out you, bringing you to the edge, watching you about to come, and then pulling back, stopping you from getting that little bit that you needed to release. After he did this a fifth time, you were sobbing from need.

"Please," you begged. "I'll be a good girl, just please let me come." Your voice was raw, your tone was needy and desperate.

He kissed you then, as he finally fingered your clit in just the perfect way, his thrusts shallow and slow to make sure he stayed inside of you.

"Then come for me," he commanded, and all the pleasure that had built up was released through your body in a cascade of heat and bliss. Keeping his hips pressed against you so he could feel you come around his cock, he kissed you more, swallowing your cries of ecstasy until you quieted, feeling like you were slowly floating back down. He pulled his head back and caressed your wrists.

"Mine."

That was all the warning you got before Arthur gripped your wrists tight and rammed into you faster, his eyes squeezing shut as he moaned, giving you a few final hard thrusts as he came inside of you, filling you with his hot cum.

"Take it all, sweet girl," he growled, his cock twitching deep inside of you. He sighed contently, then pulled back a bit to reach down and play with your clit again, watching your body writhe under him.

"Too much!" you exclaimed, but that didn't stop him from stroking you until you came again in his arms, your body arching off the bed, your head thrown back. You gasped and moaned, this climax almost borderline painful for all your sensitivity.

He held you in his arms as you fell asleep. Or passed out. You weren't really sure.

***

When you awoke, you were still wrapped up in his arms, comfortably warm and relaxed. The sun was just starting to brighten up the room, and the chill of the morning kissed your face. Looking down, you were under the covers, still completely naked and pressed up against Arthur’s naked body. You shifted, and he tightened his grip on you. He leaned over and kissed your neck, mumbling something unintelligible.

“Arthur?” you asked quietly.

“Hm?”

“What’d you say?”

He was quiet for a few moments. “Just that I wanted you here all the time,” he finally said, shoving his face in the pillow shyly.

Your heart warmed at the sight. Was he hiding a blush?

He eventually turned back to face you, and smiled. “Did you enjoy yourself?

“Yeah, I did.”

“Was tyin’ you up too much this time?"

"Yeah. I don’t know, I just…" you trailed off, looking for the right words.

"You didn't feel safe," Arthur finished.

"Yeah," you agreed sheepishly. You didn't want to tell him that you didn't trust him completely, but it was the truth.

He pat your head. "Thank you for bein' honest. It'll take some time, but I hope to win your full trust one day." Cupping your head in his hands, he drew you close and pressed his forehead against yours. "You already have mine."

Looking into his uniquely colored eyes filled with something dangerously close to love, you felt your heart skip several beats. Could this work? Could you submit to this man completely?

He kissed the tip of your nose before holding you close, cuddling you, making you feel safe and protected in the strong circle of his arms.

With everything you’d experienced with Arthur so far, you had a good feeling that submitting to him would mean a whole new world of experiences for you. As you closed your eyes and breathed in his scent, you decided to try and let him in completely, to trust as you’d never trusted before.

You hoped to hell you wouldn’t regret this.

--------------------

End Notes: I don’t know how this went from smut to character development, but that’s what happens when I can only write for 30 minutes at a time. Also Reader’s Friend will have her own fic (also from Your perspective, so get ready to jump headspaces, my dear readers). I have PLANS for her/You. Plans that might involve a certain friend of a certain cowboy. But not before that certain friend is involved in some extracurriculars with a certain cowboy, wink wink. ANYWAY. As always, I really hope you enjoyed this one! Please tell me in the comments what you liked, what you didn’t, and what you’d like to see more of!

[besotacito]

Instagram

Group: ToppDogg / XENO-T

Pairing: broken!XeSol (Xero/Hansol/Minsung)

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Angst, AU, romance

Trigger warnings: non-explicit mention of depression/suicide attempts.

Word count: 2,133

Note: This is the first time I make an attempt at writing a fanfic in English. I originally wrote it in Spanish so most of it is actually just translated, but there are some parts I edited and adapted so it’d sound a bit better? in English, I guess. Please do notify me of inconsistencies or grammar mistakes. 

As for the fanfic itself, please note that it is only fiction even if it mirrors some things that happened in reality. I hope it doesn’t offend anyone in any way. I wrote this because I’m an emo lil shit who needed to make herself suffer with a made-up angsty scenario that helps her assimilate that she’s never getting more XeSol moments ever again, probably. So that’s it. I can’t promise you’ll enjoy reading it because I cried writing it, so.

Yeah so how are you these days?

I’m still the same, can’t sleep

Your short hair looked so pretty

But I didn’t press like

‘Cause it just seems a bit ridiculous

His fingers scroll down his white smartphone screen. His room is pitch dark and he has been looking at his phone like this for a while, which is not good at all for his eyes. Or his heart. His mind is going back to a million memories of past years and his heart starts clenching little by little. Judging from his Instagram profile, in the end he followed his alternative path, the ‘B plan’ that he remembers having heard about back in their trainee days.

“I think I’ll just be a choreographer if this idol thing doesn’t work out,” he had said jokingly, although he looked like, deep inside, he meant it.

“Don’t say that. We’ll make it work. We’ll do fine, you’ll see. The name ‘ToppDogg’ by itself already feels successful,” he replied back, ruffling the other boy’s hair.

He was not surprised at all by the quality of his choreographies. Hansol- no, Minsung, Jiho reminded himself, was gifted when it came to dancing and not only that, but he was also an innate performer who knew how to combine both dancing and aesthetic features in a unique artistic way. Even so, he had to reckon the boy had improved a hell of a lot. His dancing style was very far from that of the boy who practiced dancing with him in the academy over 7 years ago.

He accidentally clicked on one of his most recent pictures, but he didn’t press the back button. He stared at it. His face looked radiant in spite of not having a smile on it. He looked fine—stable, calm, perhaps even happy. Jiho hoped it was like that. He hoped that he was at least as happy as he had always wanted and deserved. At least it was noticeable that was not the same sad Hansol- no, Minsung, that he had seen for the last time. It was a relief. He wasn’t the same person. He didn’t even look like the one in the old memories of Jiho, if he took a moment to carefully analyse the pictures. Truth be told, Jiho felt like he didn’t know who that boy in the pictures was. They had lived together for many years and shared countless experiences, but he didn’t know that person. Minsung? Jiho had no idea who that was; where he came from. He could barely remember Hansol and he wasn’t sure Hansol remembered him.

The last time they met… Jiho would’ve never imagined it would be the last time and that everything would go downhill from there. Hansol- no, Minsung, dammit, sent him a text on KakaoTalk asking to hang out in a café, just to get some distraction. Back then, it had been long since they had had a schedule as ToppDogg. The promotions for their last album had finished months ago and they weren’t working on new songs or performances or anything of the sort. Everyone were kind of worried about how things were going. Everyone, but especially Hansol. Minsung.

“Hey, sorry I’m kind of l-”

Jiho remembers coming up to the boy to greet him, but as soon as he came a little bit closer he could see the tears streaming desperately down his face. He couldn’t even finish his sentence before he had wrapped his arms around the other’s small frame. Hansol was trembling. Minsung. No, back then he was Hansol.

“Aren’t you tired?” Hansol asked out of the blue after being quiet for some minutes, just barely sipping on his coffee while trying to calm himself down and stop sobbing.

“Mm? Tired… of what? I’d say I’ve had lots of time to get some rest,” he replied jokingly, pretending he didn’t know what Hansol meant.

“That’s the problem, you see. I’m tired of this. Of trying again and again and failing. I’m tired of everything.”

“Hey, don’t think like that. We gotta stay positive. Maybe things aren’t going the way we’d like them to, but we still have our fans and our company—”

“Don’t be silly, Jiho,” he cut him off. “Do you think our fans are gonna wait forever? That they’ll stay by a failed group? Our company’s trying hard for any other artist that’s not us.”

“Hansol,” he called out, covering the boy’s hand with his own on the table, “we knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we can’t lose hope. I trust us and what we can achieve together.”

Hansol looked like he was actually contemplating what Jiho had said, but replied:

“Your optimism is stupid, Jiho.” And retreated his hand to take a hold of his coffee.

After that, they fell silent for a long time. Jiho fidgeted with his fingers over the table. This conversation was making him feel uneasy and awkward; he didn’t know what to say. But more than anything, he was worried about Hansol.

“Has it gotten worse, lately? Have you been feeling worse?” he asked softly, only for Hansol to hear.

“…I just wanna escape from this hell,” he muttered back, not looking at his eyes.

Jiho didn’t know what to say, as per usual, so he chose to stay quiet. Neither of them said anything else for some minutes. Jiho couldn’t even look at Hansol in the face because he felt horrible for not being able of offering more comfort than his stupid optimism. That’s why he flinched a little when he felt Hansol’s hand back on his, caressing his fingers. Jiho didn’t stop him, because he liked the sensation. Because he missed him. Because deep inside, Jiho knew he had committed a mistake that he would always regret, even if he had done it thinking it was the best option for them back then.

“Hansol-”

“I’m gonna miss you.”

Their voices overlapped.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m leaving to China for a few months. To study dancing.”

“What?”

Jiho retreated his hand and straightened up in his seat, almost in shock.

“But… what about the group? Does the company know about this? Did they approve of this?”

There was this look in Hansol’s eyes while he mustered up the courage to finally say:

“…Jiho, I’m leaving ToppDogg.”

In that moment, it felt as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown over him. He couldn’t react. It took him a few moments to grasp what was happening. Leaving to China to study dancing? Leaving the group? Had he lost his mind?

“Do you realise you’re sabotaging the group and being selfish?” was the first thing he managed to say, not really thinking about what he was saying.

“Excuse me? I am sabotaging the group?” Hansol raised his tone a bit. “May I remind you, it was Hyunho and Dongsung who left us first. Hyosang and Taeyang left us too.”

Jiho bit his lip. He knew Hansol was right, but right now his heart was in pain from just imagining Hansol leaving the group and going to another country for who knows how long.

“There is nothing we can do about this anymore, don’t you realise that? What do you want me to stay here for? To see how life passes me by and nothing gets better no matter how hard I try?”

“…You could stay with me.”

Everything became quiet for a few moments that seemed to last for way longer while both of them stared into each other’s eyes. Jiho could see the tears welling up in Hansol’s eyes while he bit his lips and shook his head.

“Please, don’t do this to me…” he muttered in a thin voice.

“If you leave the group, then I will too. We can start all over, together. No fearing and no hiding this time, we won’t have to-”

“Jiho, don’t,” Hansol cut him off softly, getting a bit closer and holding his hands on the table. “That’s not what you want. Besides, it was you who took the decision years ago. There’s no going back now.”

Hansol’s voice sounded so gentle and composed in spite of the tears in his eyes that it was hard to believe what he was saying was hurting Jiho as if a million knives were stabbing his body.

“Why’d you ask me to come, then? If it was going to be like this, you could’ve as well just texted me goodbye.”

You shouldn’t have given me hopes that I was still in time of holding onto you, is what he wanted to say. But didn’t.

“I just wanted to see you for one last time…”

Back then, Jiho couldn’t control the burst of emotions he felt. His sadness mingled with the anger he felt towards himself for having been an idiot and also with the frustration of being so helpless—Hansol was slipping right through his fingers and out of his life, and he couldn’t do anything to stop him.

“That’s it, then. You can leave now. Leave and don’t think of coming back. I hope you know you’re being an asshole.”

He raised his voice more than he should have. His word choice was more aggressive than it should have. Unlike his usually composed self, this time he finally burst. His emotions burst in the worse way possible. They ended up yelling ugly things at each other; hard feelings that had been building up inside them for a long time. Jiho smashed his fist on the table before leaving behind an upset and sobbing Hansol. He shouldn’t have done that. He still feels ashamed of his shitty and immature reaction and regrets everything he did and said that day. Hansol didn’t deserve that.

Somehow, he reached the end of his Instagram pictures. They weren’t many. He remembered the boy had a habit of deleting them. He also noticed he kept only a few pictures of his last days in China and seeing him in those pictures makes his heart clench in fear again. In fear of knowing that he was close to losing him for real, forever. Those had been the worst days Jiho has even been through in his whole life and he hopes he won’t have to ever go through something like that again. At least the latest pictures make him feel a bit more reassured, for it seems that old Hansol he knew doesn’t torment Minsung like he used to do. He looks cared for and surrounded by people. Jiho can only hope for him to never be lonely and for all of those people to be with Minsung when he cannot.

A few pictures above the last ones from China is one from their debut. That one was uploaded when his departure from the group was made official. Jiho didn’t come out of his room for a whole week. In the picture, Hansol thanks everyone. Jiho clenches his fist. He should’ve thanked him the last time he saw him. He should’ve thanked him for helping him make it into ToppDogg. He should’ve thanked him for all of the good moments they shared together. He should’ve thanked him for loving him in spite of the big asshole Jiho could be at times and which he was until their last meeting. He should’ve thanked him for existing—he should’ve wished him success. Had he done that, who knows; maybe Hansol wouldn’t have been on the edge of an abyss. Had he done that, maybe he would find his username when he types it into the list of people Minsung follows.

Jiho decides to call it a night, but then he sees there is a picture of Hyosang on Minsung’s account and he clicks it almost immediately. Oh, he wished him a happy birthday. To the one who abandoned them—but didn’t break his heart or curse him out for trying to pursue his dreams—; he wished a happy birthday to him. Then he finally clicks the ‘back’ button, which closes Instagram and, instead and unknowingly, shows him the time and date: 5:24 a.m., February 3rd.

As he tries to fall asleep, he fails to fight back the tears that wet his pillow while he cannot brush off the memories of Hansol coming into his room with a big smile on his face and holding a big cake with tons of colourful candles on his hands just when the clock struck twelve o’clock. He won’t see that Hansol anymore. If he could turn back time and take seriously the three wishes Hansol insisted for him to make year after year before blowing out the candles, he would use one to wish ToppDogg to be successful and two to wish for Hansol to never leave his side.

[rhodochrosite-love]

Devil’s Guilt

A cuphead fanfic by me!

Pairing: slight Dice/Ace

Tags: very mild cursing, flashbacks, suspense?

This is my first time writing something for cuphead and my oc, so don’t judge me too bad!

“‘At the Devil’s Casino, all bets are off. In that gilded house, they’re all doomed to die’- At least, that’s what my Ma always said to me. She always hated this place, thought it was a brodie. Reason was, our Pa, unknown to me and my sibs at the time, had gotten his soul snatched. Right out of the blue! Didn’t make a deal or nothin’! Me an’ the boys thought it was bonkers, until He came to collect.

“Ah, but enough ‘bout lil’ ol’ me, why don’t you roll, doll?” Ace said to the fine lady at the table. In truth, she wasn’t all that fetching, but he was willing to call her anything; just as long as he gets something from her. Be it money, or her very soul. The woman blushed and took up the dice in her fist and shook it, then rolled them down onto the tabletop. She looked anxiously toward them, not catching the dealer’s eye fixed on the pair. For a moment, it was a 7! But, somehow, it became a 2.

“Oh, deary me, that ain’t a good roll at all…” Ace shook his head, feeling only a bit of pity for the fair lady. “I’m afraid ya time is up-” “Please, give me one more chance!” Ace glanced up at her face, she was becoming awfully distraught; her eyes pleading with worry, her lip quivering with a twinge of fear. Ace huffed, “Now, I’m sorry, miss, but you’ll have to stop now. I wouldn’t want ya losin’ anythin’ MORE than ya soul.” The man’s eyes glimmered, signaling her her final warning.

At that, her shoulders slumped in defeat. Forthwith, a man appeared from nowhere at all, and spoke to her in a deep voice, “May I escort you, my dear?” King Dice bowed to the lady and offered his arm. Her response was quite something, for she shoved him out of the way and ran for the doors. Despite his small shock, Ace had quickly put his fingers together and whistled loudly, causing 2 tall men who looked quite like Ace himself to appear and grab the woman as she shouted, “NO! YOU CAN’T- YOU CAN’T! PLEASE!” The manager and the dealer merely watched her being dragged away, to the Devil’s quarters.

When the doors shut with a loud slam, Dice turned to Ace, who whistled with a hint of relief. “Isn’t it whacky how some folks just can’t help themselves? I’d say they’re practically mad!” Ace looked up at him, a gentle smile and a faint tint of red on his cheeks. “I suppose so…”

—————————————

“Everything hurts.

I’m dyin’, I can feel it… This damned Abercrombie is kickin’ my ass..!”

—————————————-

“Say, Hearts, why don’t you and me go knab some liquor?” King Dice continued, “I trust you know it ain’t no bathtub gin.” “I know, sir. But I’m workin’ right now. Surely, ya don’t want no slackers?” Ace replied, his tone humble, yet subtly flirtatious.

—————————————

As he knocked the dice, he sent him off to another world, so it seems, and face more of his pesky little challenges. “What’s the damn POINT of this?!” Frustration hit, and those glasses of booze were out for good.

When he returned to the tabletop, the big guy was there again. “Having fun? Let’s hope not!” And the die appeared once again.

——————————————

“Don’t be like that!” The King said, “Just one little drink. Please?” Ace looked at his boss, then to his cards. It’s awful rare and a bit awkward when the employer wants to have a drink with his underling… it usually means he wants something. Only one way to find out what he wants. The boy sighed, “I suppose one wouldn’t hurt nobody…” “Excellent!” King took Ace’s wrist suddenly, and led him to the bar. He took his seat gently, while Ace had slowly set himself down at the counter. The boy could feel his boss’s eyes on him as he ordered 2 brandies, and honestly? He had a slight idea why.

Ace could admit that he was acting strange. Strange meaning distant, and particularly unaffectionate. But this has been going on for about a year now, so who could tell the difference between just Ace, and Ace’s depression?

“Here you are, my dear!” King Dice passed off the brandy to the boy, who caught it with grace. As they drank, Ace seemed to look into his glass- his reflection was awfully… unsightly.

—————————————-

When he finished off the rabbit, he was brought back again to face the King. The man laughed, “Why try, Hearts?! Just look at yourself! Alone, no brothers, no hope! How could you EVER defeat me?!”

The boy, wiping away the blood from his chin, huffed with exhaustion, “I’m...not...DONE YET!” And so, he knocked the dice once more. “Here we go again, Hearts!”

——————————————-

“Yo, Hearts!” Dice snapped his gloved hands close to Ace’s ear, knocking the boy out of his trance. “Huh? Oh, sorry boss. I think I was just daydreamin’...” The boy responded, a small, fake smile placed politely on his face. The manager scoffed, “Right. Well, I’d like to say something.”

Ace raised his brow, his smile faltering. Ah, here it is. What could this be about? “Somethin’ on ya mind, boss?”

King drummed his fingers on the wood counter, looking at his employee intensely, “No, but I’m wondering what’s on YOURS, Hearts.” He turned to take a quiet sip of his alcohol, then continued, “See, you’ve been actin’ funny for a few weeks now- funnier than you usually are, and I’d like to know exactly what’s goin’ on under that fluffy mop ‘a yours.” Dice set down his glass and leaned his arm on the counter, looking at Ace sincerely now. “In short; what’s buggin’ ya, Ace?”

————————————

As he hopped on the cards, he watched the King grin and giggle. “What’s so funny?” The boy asked, landing onto the ground. See, the King shouldn’t have been laughing. His face had cracks and bruises, but his eyes… those were shimmering… but with what?

“Game over, Ace.” He leaned over the table , showing how truly gigantic he was in comparison to the boy. “It’s time for the final round~ Let’s see what you’ve got!”

—————————————-

His name…. Ace hadn’t heard his name sounded like that before. This is pretty serious, if his boss was willing to use his real name instead of that silly nickname he’s always been called. Ace turned, looking straight back at Dice, “You know exactly what’s buggin’ me, don't cha?” The King crossed his legs and rested his cube head on his fist, signaling the boy to continue with a raise of his brow. Ace sighed, setting down his full glass silently and turning to the other man, “Me an’ my brotha’s, we’ve worked here for what, three years now? And they all seem… so miserable. All wet, and they hate this place.” He looked down at his lap, not wanting to feel King’s eyes on him anymore.

“And what about you?” Dice replied, his hand stroking his edges, “Surely, you must feel the same?” Ace hunched, his face shouting his obvious disagreement. “Not really, no.” the boy ran his hand through his hair and continued, “I don’t know what’s wrong wit’ me, but I actually like it here. The front entrance, m’ coworkers, the cheatin’... Hell, I even like you!”

King Dice’s eyebrows raised in surprise, and Ace had looked up and blushed absentmindedly. “W-What I meant… I just, I worked so hard, to get my soul back, along wit’ my brotha’s, who worked their goddamn ASSES off, and we wound up wit’ nothin’ but a job that makes ‘m feel like nothin’. How d’you think that feels?” Ace looked up at Dice now, a deep sincerity placed on his face, with a hand pressed to his chest. King’s face was unreadable, his lips pressed into a line, his eyes doing nothing but looking at his underling. Ace’s hand curled up into a ball as he looked away, his voice softer now, “I just keep thinkin’ ‘bout it, again ‘n again, and i feel so guilty, i want it to stop.” His voice grew shaky, and hot tears started to form in his eyes. God, did he feel lost.

The boy lay there, face down, with his blood spilling from his mouth and his scrapes and his cuts. He looked absolutely pathetic. King Dice laughed as he saw him there, “You really are a twit! I thought your brothers were stupid, but facing me head on? Why, it was a trip for biscuits!” Ace’s hands trembled as they tried to search for something to grab; anything.

———————————-

The King looked down, and saw his helpless grasping, and felt something in the boy he tried to ignore a long time ago. His determination, his sacrifice, his pure will to keep going… Needless to say, he’s seen it before. “Say, kid,” said Dice, “How’d you like to make a deal?”

————————————

As Ace sat, Dice pondered over this new information. He hadn’t thought about any of this, not in his life. When he first took notice of his employee’s change in attitude, he knew it wasn’t just a bad day, oh no. His first thought was the classic ‘I want to go back to my family and be happy’, not ‘I just want to be happy here, with you’. And, in all honesty? It flattered Dice. Immensly. He just hoped to the Devil himself that Ace wasn’t doing anything unecessary with any blades.

“Well, the way I see it,” Said the man suddenly, “is that you aren’t going to please y’self until you please y’brothers. And it looks like that’s not happenin’ anytime soon.” Ace blinked his eyes rapidly to shove away his tears, and look up at his boss with dignity. “Do y’have somethin’ in mind?” “Hmmm... “ replied Dice, drumming his fingers again on the counter, “Well, the only thing i can think of… is t’drop ‘em.”

Ace’s brow furrowed, “Y’know I can’t do that kind’a thing! That’d be-” “-Unethical, I know. But if you really wanna stop feelin’ guilty about all this, you gotta let go.” Dice interrupted. Ace looked down at the ground. How was he supposed to feel about that? He’d be abandoning his brothers, the people he’s fought with since forever. How would a man ever- “Trust me, Hearts, I don’t like it neither. In fact, I didn’t like it when I had to do it myself, way back then. But, put’cha faith in me, you’ll feel a whole lot better once you do.” He took up his drink and, with a glimmer of empathy in his eyes, raised it to Ace, “What d’ya say, Ace?”

The boy looked to Dice’s glass, then to his own. With his right hand, he ran it through his hair again. Then, with his left he took his drink and looked into it, like he did once before.

————————————

“How d’ya feel, Ace?” Said the King, wrapping up his bandages and putting them away neatly. Ace looked down at the floor, a whole ocean of emotion crashing and settling over again in his mind. He looked up to the man, the bandages covering his eye blocking his vision ever so subtly.

“Neva’ betta’.”

———————————-

Ace raised his glass, and clinked it against the King’s, sealing their silent agreement. The boy quickly brought the brandy to his lips and downed the shot in one fell swoop, then returned the cup to its keeper. Dice soon finished the last drop of his and set it on the table, then rose from his seat and brushed off his trousers. “Ah, I think it would be best if we parted, don’cha think?” Ace stood up silently, still in mild shock, “I s’pose so... “ The King nodded, with a soft smile on his face, different from his usual, sleazy grin. As Dice walked away, Ace took a few steps opposite, then stopped. “I neva’ stood a chance, did i?”

Dice stopped and turned slightly, eyeing Ace carefully. After a moment, the man spoke, “That’s the sad part, Hearts. You did, once.”

[maneaterwithtail]

Chapter 6 has come. and now ... well I think I know enough to have an opinion.

This is the typical “darker and edgier” reboot that just inevitable comes with fanfiction but as I’ve said before as a work Captain Underpants begs you to derive and create with what it gives you.

Its also, my opinion, the most solid CU fanfic out there.  Others have cute snippets and ideas.  The dream sequence with lil’ Krupp before CU comes in and saves his ass from his dad... nice.

But this feels like its aiming in the style of writing I can sink into.

Its at the least drawing on character and though serious knows not to take itself TOO serious which means watching it unfold could be a treat as the author works things out.

however it suffers from the weaknesses of the original work AND the problems of darker and edgier or what its call when you follow the leader too painfully or derivatively with “extreme”

One note, and this is a little unfair as the work is LABELED as going for a threesome AND so on, is the relationship of Harold and George.  Your fanfic and you can do anything. We clear? but part of why slash fiction KEEPS its bad reputation as that characterization and setups change for the fetishes or desire of the author.  Harold is gay. Or will be. But that is not the sum totality of his character nor is fluffy romantic d’awww the majority of his relationship with George.

It might if you tilt compose 10% of this.  And this is an issue.  See if you *start* from 100% canon and slowly WORK your characters there, it makes sense.  Its pleasing.  And I don’t doubt for a second Harold and George love each other.  But I feel its best starting from the semi-ambiguous Friend Like You in the movie THEN moving them.

This is made all the worse as some other fudging had to be made.  I mean its okay.  Its not like the canon series didn’t play with continuity (enormously.. seriously it was ketchup?) But it feels like Harold and George are in love already when the idea of their pets mating astounds or disgusts them.  Its possible this is just Harold’s perception.

Its just I’m worried with the already flat characters we’re getting the yaoi/slash characterization in search of some names.  and that always sucks.  The thing is you aren’t starting with minor or unexplored trait of the character.  The rock solid foundation of CU IS the relationship, bond, and development of Harold and George. Any alteration in whole or part really tilts the series with a derived work.  Especially one FILLED with melodrama.

Also where blood and broken bones and concussions suddenly matter but not too much.  Leading to the now its serious just only to become another form of fictional silly.  That’s part of the issue of the darker and edgier fanfic.  THAT aspect, I think only need to wait until the author is down then goes back and refines things for more consistent tone or contrasting one if that’s what he’s after.

That said its great its just assumed they are in love, if not pursuing the mutual or established means of affection AS much.  But there is still plenty that works for the style I expect and know.  That whole sequence of the telepathic glances.  While I think “sweet pure empathic cinnamon roll” kind of just stuck to Harold it is nice how he’s conflicting and coming to different conclusions and taking actions from George.  This is so wild it feels the “suddenly always perfectly in love” feels like a cheat.  In fact it feels, aside from the super melodrama from random bullies attack and so on feels such a loss.

As is Captain Underpants deal.  So far its working.  Much like most “manic pixie godparents” he’s facing the difficulty of being so thin he doesn’t know how to function as a person.  This has, kind of, been the cause of all the oh no!’s in the series.  Its in fact THE thing that is the conflict with Krupp.  Along with the “holy shit what happened to my body and office and windows.. what did I do”

I just feel, in someways its taking an unsatisfying route to get there.  There are many scenes and threads in the books that you could take to work over Krupp or the Waistband Warrior getting some character development.  also he did the “brought down to normal thing” I think *twice*

I really do consider this a *first run* the text might need to change once finished.  and when it finishes it will land better than it lifted off.  But the story will be better once finished and revised.

My opinion.  ONLY my opinion.  And why am I giving it? For the same reason someone wrote and darker and edgier take on CU who ALSO criticized G&H and redeemed Melvin.