#will being like ''yeah that hasn't happened to me'' & the article pointing out my next thought like b/c you're just so On Your Mark?

[unproduciblesmackdown]

5 years later ghost posting from jason sweettooth williams: "In honor of Halloween and all things ghostly, here is the picture I took of a ghost from the stage of the Lyceum Theater on Broadway. I was on stage in the middle of tech and looked up and spotted this. I think about her often but especially tonight on Halloween! #happyhalloween #ghost #theater #bemorechill #broadway"

[kittenfangirl20]

Queen Adam Au Part 6

Velvette was throwing material around her fashion studio, she needed to find the perfect material. Not just any will do.

If she was going to gain favor with the Queen of Hell, Adam Morningstar, then it needed to be perfect.

For months Velvette had been keeping an eye on magazine articles about what Adam would wear and not long after those items would become hot commodities.

She wanted that monetary profit.

Vox walked in narrowly avoided getting his by a bag of glitter.

Vox: Vel, what fresh Hell is this? You're making a mess.

Velvette: I want to make the most perfect dress for the Queen. If Adam loves and buys a dress from me we will be rolling in it more than we are now. He's a fashion icon, anyone worth their shit wants to look like him.

Vox sipped his coffee: That would be a great help. Has he bought anything of yours in the past?

Velvette deflated a bit: No, but that just means he hasn't worn a true fucking masterpiece yet!

-

Adam yawned, it was so early and he had to feed his babies. He went to the nursery to get the twins.

Adam: Good morning my little beauties.

He picked up Ariel first and sat in the rocking chair while he breast fed his baby.

Lucifer came in a couple minutes later: Hey, need any help?

Adam: You can burp her so I can feed him.

Lucifer: Okay, come here my beauties.

Lucifer took the baby and gave Adam a kiss. He burped his little girl as Adam picked up Adrial and fed him.

*Adam was so happy over the fact that Lucifer was not only an amazing husband, he was also an equally amazing father as well, fatherhood was just as important to Adam as motherhood was, he was the father of humanity after all, he prided himself on the fact that Eve praised him for being such a good father, Adam fully admitted that he had a praise kink which both of his spouses took advantage of, he then realized something, he hadn’t seen Emily all day*

Adam: Where is Emily?

Lucifer: Now that you mention it, she hasn’t left her room at all.

Adam: I hope she isn’t sick.

*after the babies were fed and burped, Adam went to check on Emily, she was frantically running around the room looking at the dresses Adam helped her buy and trying to figure out what wig she should wear or if she should even wear a wig*

Adam: Hey Emmy, are you alright?

Emily: Everything has to be perfect for my date with Satan tonight………… Oh no, you’re going to give him the shovel talk now.

*Adam smirked*

Adam: Yep, I mean what kind of older brother would be if I didn’t. I am the second most powerful being in Hell and mom would be disappointed if I didn’t give him the shovel talk.

*both suddenly got quiet, they still hadn’t heard about what happened to Sera after Emily fell, Lucifer was constantly sending messages to Heaven through Heaven’s Embassy demanding that they give him an answer about the head seraphim and the status of former Sinners who became Winners*

Emily: I still miss mom.

Adam: I do too, remember when I got sick and she bought me Muffin to help me feel better.

*Adam’s favorite giant lion plushie was now also the favorite of his kids*

Emily: Yeah, she also made the best cakes and muffins for us as well.

Adam: I am proud to say those cakes and muffins contributed to my chubby gut that Luci loves so much.

*Adam proudly pat his stomach*

Adam: I do hope you have a wonderful date and I am still going to give Satan the shovel talk.

*at the Vee Tower Vox and Valentino sat on the couch watching Velvette working so frantically*

Valentino: I don’t get why she is so obsessed with making the Queen so happy especially since he played a part in me losing my best star to Heaven.

Velvette: Fashion is everything, fashion is life. Everything Adam wears becomes the next sensation. You will thank me when my outfits earn so much money for us.

Vox: She does bring up a good point, gain the favor of Queen Adam and you are all abound Hell can talk about.

*Valentino just stared at the both of them wondering why they were acting like they didn’t orchestrate a smear campaign against Queen Adam because Manmon and Lilith hired them to, he didn’t care one way or another, he liked being a scumbag that others feared, in fact he thought that his Adam/Alastor porn was his best work yet, it was too bad that the people of Hell didn’t see it that way since they were so obsessed with their pretty Queen sadly Lucifer had ever copy of the porno destroyed aside from the one secret copy Valentino owned which he sadly couldn’t sell because no one dare buy it, well at least he could watch it and pleasure himself to it*

Valentino: You two have fun obsessing over the Queen of Hell, I am going to work now.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

[pillarsalt]

Wikipedia anon here, i feel SO embarrassed for misremembering so much about that article. the concept of the cotton cieling and the reminder of the sheer amount of institutions/resources that have been taken over by tims/tras makes me so upset i didn't want to recheck the article again, even though i should have. (it was some time ago i saw the rb of your comic and did my first check, then saw your comic again and remembered about doing so, to clarify. yes i'm an absolute mess i apologize)

i appreciate you so much for not only getting what i was trying (and failing lmao) to explain but also looking into and linking the talk page because JFC!!! so sharing differing opinions for a topic (with cited sources!!) on wikipedia is a no-no, but it's totally fine when you and your friends retroactively decide pro-topic views make you look bad and so you delete the entire article and rewrite the definition of said topic to be about generically "being left out of spaces :.-(" instead of being honest about it being homophobic, rapist rhetoric (which is the reason you're trying to hide it in the first place) hoooooooly SHIT

if genderism ever blows over (with how long it's stuck around for, and with no one being willing to talk about objective/legal concerns like the WPATH files and Maya Forestater, let alone even have a conversation with a GC person, at this point i'm not hopeful...) everyone who contributed to the widescale abuse and trauma of women (especially lesbians), girls, gay men, gnc people, and tip (medicalized or not) could spend the rest of their lives begging for forgiveness and it wouldn't be anywhere near enough. not that i'm expecting them to do that, of course. it's not even blown over yet and we can see from the cotton ceiling article that they'll absolutely try to just gaslight everyone and pretend it never happened (and if it did, it wasn't that bad, and if it was bad it was your fault for not doing your research, etc etc)

ANYWAY i'd rather end on something positive, so thank you again for sharing your wonderful art on here!! seeing there's a talented, feminist female artist who's into pokemon and mlp but hasn't bought into trans ideology is so healing for me. hope you have a lovely day!!! :) :) :)

I wouldn't be embarrassed, I mean the article's not completely empty but it's obviously been stripped down to next to nothing compared to what it used to contain, and half the cited sources aren't really relevant at all. They briefly mention the MTF porn actor who coined the term but failed to mention the scores of other popular MTFs who were vehement proponents of the rhetoric (Riley J Dennis is the first one that comes to mind). And yeah that dude in the discussion page saying he's going to be watching the page and reverting any edits he doesn't like, isn't that very wikipedia illegal? I don't edit wikipedia but I'm fairly certain that camping on an article to make sure your edits aren't edited is not allowed.

It's definitely been a trend with "progressives" to flip the script on anything they've done and can see was wrong in retrospect, claiming "no actually YOU said this, not me." It's a very good reason to keep things documented, and I have huge respect for people who keep the receipts so we can hold people accountable for the harmful bullshit they've spread around. (Speaking of which, I think now is a good time to remind everyone that Eli Erlick is a rapist, another interesting fact that has been unsuccessfully scrubbed from the internet.)

Thanks for your wonderful words as well :) Have a great day too!

[trashboatprince]

SO!

The Star Beast!

Let's talk about it!

(Major spoilers under the cut)

-First off, I fucking love Fourteen, absolutely a delight, I wanna hug them (Okay, technically I HAVE hugged them when I got to hug David at the con this year, but still!). Also, 'male-presenting Time Lord', bah! Still gonna use they/them when I refer to them because please just let me have this, I don't care, the Doctor canonically doesn't give two shits about gender and even refers to going by the article Doctor over a pronoun in this special anyway.

-Second, DONNA! OH DONNA! I love her, I love her so much, just- oh, she hasn't changed a damn bit! Including missing the fucking alien spacecraft because that was exactly what I expected from her. <3

-Also, most supportive mom, love that.

-Rose~! Oh, oh Rose, how I love you! No notes, she's amazing! It did hurt to hear her dead name being used, but considering that it was done by a bunch of dickheaded kids, it makes sense. But we will never use that name for her here, nope, she's just Rose. <3

-Shaun is a delight, Donna got herself the most excellent of malewives ever

-Sylvia, ah, exactly as I expected, though she is trying to be better for her daughter and granddaughter, so points to her.

-Meep! So much to say on the meep but I'll keep it brief: transphobic little shit.

-UNIT is always fun to see, but how well known are they nowadays because the BBC report actually referred to them. I dunno, I've still working my way through the Third Doctor's era where UNIT was a major plot point and I haven't... finished watching Thirteen's era yet (only because I want to watch it with my gf the next time we see each other).

-Fourteen interacting with the Noble family was great, especially with them trying to see the Meep and Sylvia panicking and wow, this face cannot escape being slapped I wonder if Donna will get to do one herself.

-The action stuff is so much fun, exactly what I expect from this series.

-Being on the Meep's ship, the fact that Donna went to help the Doctor and just... oh, oh, them freaking out and crying because they were scared she'd die when she remembered. I started sobbing.

-Hell, I was crying when they held her in their arms and said he didn't care if the grunts shot them... uuuuhhhhhggggg... Fourteen cares about her so much! That's his best friend!

-Rose! Rose and Donna, Time Ladies! Lord, Lady, and neither! Don't care what anyone says, I loved this. I didn't voice it, but I had a very strong feeling that Rose would inherit the DoctorDonna.

-Was a little confused about them 'letting go' but... yeah, alright, okay. Still, I wonder if there is still a bit of Time Lord left in them.

-Is there any chance that they can sell Rose's plushies. I really want the Ood one.

-THE TARDIS!

-Oooooh, she's beautiful and big and very classic and yet so very nuwho at the same time, a perfect blend, and just so gorgeous! And Fourteen freaking out in excitement, running around like a child, being so happy about a coffee maker in the TARDIS! <3<3<3

-And Donna's reaction! She was so happy too!

-But then the 'killed me' scene... oh, oh honey, you've been holding onto that for centuries, those memories and the guilt. It's honestly heartbreaking to know that the Doctor, through all their new faces, still held onto those feelings about what happened to Donna.

-I'm excited, don't know what the fuck is gonna happen in the next episode since we didn't get a preview and I think it's the least known of the episodes so far.

-I saved this for last, but I wanna talk about the sonic screwdriver cause I know some people are gonna be all 'oh, it's too OP!'

First off, the sonic has always been, it always will be, it's a fucking sci-fi tool, sci-fi series always have some sort of tool that does everything.

Second, whatever the hell it did to make the shields was awesome, that's such a cool trick and I love it. I bet it's done using sound and light waves, which makes for a very interesting concept and something I'd love to explore in one of my sci-fi aus. Not sure how it made that cool schematics things, but whatever.

Also, leave me alone! I love the new sonic! I need to get my hands on one, but they're always sold out or too expensive!

(Okay, not really last, just a bonus, but damn, no offense to Ten, but Fourteen is a bit more attractive to me. I dunno, I mean, I was crushing hard on the DT at 15, but at 31, it's like, oh. Oh no. He's aged so well, he's so pretty. This is probably Crowley's fault.)

[woodfrogs]

I promise my answer is coming, but it's becoming longer than I'd anticipated, so in the meantime...

🌻

sorry this took so long :sob: but in my defense it hasn't even been a week which is a good response time for me! anyway i'm gonna tell the story of the falcon lake incident because i was recently listening to the album by jim bryson of the same name so i went to read the wiki article and it's been on my mind

on may long weekend, 1967, stephan michalak went out to the small town of falcon lake, manitoba, to prospect for some quartz and silver. he was way out in the woods when he reached a clearing, and after some geese were startled away he saw two aircraft hovering in the distance. he described them as "cigarette-shaped with a lump in the middle" and glowing red, but according to his sketch i'd describe it as a traditional UFO shape. one of them landed nearby and he spent 30 minutes sketching it, complete with handwritten notes on details about its appearance. they look like normal messy handwriting. take note of this.

then he got bored and decided "yeah, i'll approach the UFO. fuck it". a door was open on the side. coming out of it were muffled voices. they stopped when he called out a hello to the "yankee boys," because he thought it was an american experimental aircraft. he looked inside, and there were a bunch of flashing control panels but no people. he stepped away and a door slid shut in front of him, which was hot enough to melt his glove when he touched it.

and then the ship quickly spun and blasted him back with hot gas through a grid on the side before taking off. it set his clothes on fire and badly burned his chest. he was obviously disoriented and tried to go back to his hotel, but an RCMP officer stopped him and assumed he was drunk. michalak refused the officer's help (according to his story, he was never offered it, but the officer says he did,) and took a greyhound bus back to his home in winnipeg, an hour and a half away 💀

he had symptoms from the incident for the rest of his life. the burns reappeared intermittently for the next 26 years, and in the immediate aftermath he suffered from weight loss and other gastrointestinal issues, blackouts and headaches, and his white blood cell count plummeted to near lethal levels. which are all symptoms of radiation poisoning. but a nearby government research reactor (the whiteshell laboratories) found nothing abnormal with him.

they also found high levels of radioactivity near the site, which they later attributed to a radium vein. but his clothes were radioactive, and metal was found melted into cracks in the rock of the canadian shield in the clearing. there was also a large burned patch of grass. afaik the only evidence that has not been lost over time is his shirt and a piece of radioactive metal.

the common skeptic explanation is that he was drunk and things like the metal were planted on the land later. so that he could fully stake his claim to the land to be prospected. which is stupid if you ask me. don't make up a UFO hoax if you want people to stay off your land? hello?

michalak also stood by his story that he believed it was an experimental aircraft and not aliens until the day he died. he and his family struggled under the public's scrutiny to the point of his son being bullied in school, and apparently he did somewhat regret saying something. but him lying for attention doesn't mean he couldn't have regretted it later either.

personally, i think some stuff doesn't add up with any explanation. i would say it was a government experiment but since this was 50 years ago and we have never heard of any similar technology since, i doubt it. i genuinely have no clue what could have happened here. but even if it's a hoax or just a drunk guy hallucinating and falling on a grill near a radium vein, it's a cool story

[goodluckclove]

Yeah, this is really my first experience having a writing community in the fifteen years I've been writing. For the most part I had maybe one or two people at a time who were willing to read my writing, and while I was so so grateful for them it was far from the kind of vibrant audience writers fantasize about.

Here's a thing though - and it's advice I got from a writer I respect when I was younger and considering quitting. I sent him an email just venting about how I have no one to read my writing, and asking if I should just quit.

His response? Yeah man, writers are shit at reading the works of other writers. His own wife hasn't read any of his books. He did not even consider my question of asking whether or not I should quit. He suggested I think of articles to send to the website I found him on (Shout out to anyone else who was really into early Cracked.com columnists).

It's bad advice I have for subjects like this, because all I usually have to say is yeah. Yeah, it's deeply difficult to get people to read long-form writing unless you put a significant amount of effort into marketing yourself on reader-centric platforms. Writers are not good at reading longer projects and providing quality feedback. I make a substantial effort to push against this stereotype by reading as much of the writing as people send me as possible, but it's fucking hard. I think I work like a 50-hour workweek. I get tired.

I used to do stand-up comedy back in California, and stand-ups are also the worst comedy audiences. They don't. Fucking. Laugh. I'm so sorry you had a bad open mic experience, I know first-hand how painful those are. I actually met my first girlfriend while sulking after bombing spectacularly onstage. But part of preforming, online or on page or on stage, is getting a cold drink and taking a deep breath before doing the dumb thing again.

Because sometimes it works. Oh man, and when it works it is wild.

We work a career where we're often standing in a dark fog with little awareness of what's around us. I don't actually know if anything I write here matters to anyone. I'm publishing my book in a few weeks, and I don't know if anyone's going to buy it or read it or like it or even think about it. I have zero idea. I have almost 300 followers on here and I do not understand why or how that happened. I'm grateful, but confused.

If I think about all this too hard, it will effect my ability to sit down and write for like 9 hours straight. So because of that, i don't think about it. i know the whole write for yourself thing sounds saccharine and a little Hallmark-y, but it's true - kind of.

You could say that I write for myself. I don't do it as a writer, though. I write for myself because I'm my own first reader and I want to know what happens next. And I like that. That's it. That's what keeps me going.

Do I want other people to read my work? Get some kind of a fandom? People making headcanons and fanart and being inspired by my stories? Yeah, sure. I would like to provide a sense of representation that doesn't currently exist. But I'm like the test audience to making that happens in the future. And if you work honestly and for the craft, it will happen at some point.

Until then, it's not unrequited love if you, in turn, love it. You need feedback at some point, and you'll get that at a writing group, but in an ideal world you will get that feedback on something you've refined through private practice and consideration.

Get back on the horse, my friend. You're in good company here. And even when I'm not here, you are not bad company when you're in your own presence.

Good luck at the writing group!

Hey. Hi! It's me. I saw some posts about people who aren't writing their books and it got me curious why not. So I'm asking here, just sort of throwing it to the void - why not?

I'm sure your reasons are good. I think, if anything, some of you just might need someone to talk them out with. I can be that person. I've written 13-15 books (I've lost count), have made a living as a copywriter, got some short stories published, and am currently self publishing my first book.

Tell me why you aren't writing. I'll react with nothing but kindness - aggressive kindness, but kindness nonetheless.

[mercurysstars]

The Shadow Thief (part 3)

Summary: What happens when Peter has to work with the girl he hates to possibly save the world.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Swearing, Blood, Violence.

A/n: Sorry it took me so long to post again! I’ve wrote like 3 different versions of this chapter because I didn’t know what direction to go in just yet.

_

"Woah, dude. Did you see this?" Y/n held out Peter's phone shoving it in his face.

Y/n had gone over to Peters house early that morning to get the last finishing touches on their project done. So they both reluctantly decided to walk together to school.

Peter snatched his phone out of Y/n's hands as they crossed the street. "How did you even get my phone? It was in my hands." She shrugged and pointed back at the article.

Peter scrolled down the page. Incoming reports say Avengers went on a mission and since gone MIA. How didn't he know about this? And why didn't the Avengers at least tell him they were going to be gone. Peter was confused, to say the least. Were they in trouble? No, they couldn't be they are the earth's mightiest heroes. Right?

"They probably just had to extend their mission and forgot to report back in." Or at least he hoped. He didn't want to think of the latter. He decided after school he would go to the compound and make sure everything was alright.

"If you say so." They walked up the stairs to the second floor of the school.  Peter opened the door and they both walked into English. Y/n took her seat next to Mj and Peter next to Ned.

The thought of the Avengers missing did worry Y/n a bit. She wasn't a big fan of superheroes but she also was not, not a fan. It was complicated. Sure she liked the security of having someone to save the day. But she hated that they pretended to be better than everyone else. They judge criminals as they themselves have never done anything wrong. They tend to blame everything on everyone else and never take responsibility.

Y/n felt a nudge to her arm. She turned her head to face Mj. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"No, no it's alright I'm just thinking," Y/n said. She pulled out her laptop and opened her and Peter's presentation to have it ready just in case they had to go first.

Their opening slide was a picture of Anne Frank surrounded by a pretty border and Anne Frank’s name in cursive in the middle. Peter insisted their project had to look nice and not like some shitty last-minute one like she had originally done. Y/n had teased Peter relentlessly about it saying maybe he should be a graphic designer instead of Spider-Man. And he of course huffed and pretended to ignore her.

"Well, you just looked worried. Anyways tell me if you need any help." Y/n gave Mj a grateful smile. Y/n knew Mj could have this cold, hard exterior but she knew she secretly cared.

The bell rang signaling the first period started. The teacher stood up from her desk and walked to the front of the room clasping her hands together. "Good morning class. Today is the first official day for our presentations. We'll be picking who goes first by random. Any questions?"

One girl toward the front of the classroom stuck up her hand "Yes, Betty."

"Did you see the news? About the avengers?" The class erupted within hushed conversation everyone stating their theories of what happened and their worries.

"Alright, class settle down. I did see but we will continue like normal." She said. It kind of seemed like to Y/n she didn't care at all but she didn't really think anything of it.

The phone rang and the teacher quickly excused herself. Y/n picked at her fingers mindlessly. The teacher muttered a few words into the phone and hung up "Y/n, Peter." Her eyes snapped up at the sound of her name "They want you down in the office. And bring your things."

Y/n furrowed her brows. Her eyes met Peters "What did you do?" He mouthed just as confused as her.

What did she do? What the hell did he do. She hasn't done anything wrong. Well, at least nothing she gotten caught for.  "Dude if anyone did anything it was you! I've only been here for like 3 weeks." She whispered-yelled back.

He put his hands up defensively. Y/n shoved all of her things in her bag and zipped it up. Mj raised an eyebrow at her and Y/n just shrugged with a clueless look on her face.

Y/n walked over to the door opening it with her free hand while her chrome book was in the other.  Peter followed not too far behind. They step out and began to walk down the hallway shoulder to shoulder not a word muttered between them.

The hall was empty. No teacher, no janitor, no late students, not even the common lost freshman. It was strange to Y/n. She turned to Peter "This is weird. It's almost like it's too."

"Quiet." He finished for her. Peter felt off. His spidey sense wasn't alarming him with anything but it was almost like a gut feeling you'd get when some strange guy came up to you at a party being a little too friendly.

"Yeah." Exactly. They continued down the hall both on high alert. When they passed a window Y/n could see two men dressed in suits around the corner through the reflection.

"I think they're following us." She whispered to Peter. Y/n has picked up a thing or two of trying not to be noticed but the men behind them didn't seem like they cared much for subtlety. They had their eyes set on Y/n and Peter taking wide quick steps.

This time his spidey sense went off. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Peter reached for his web-shooters "We need to get out of here."

"You think?" Y/n back said in an aggravated tone. The next time they passed by a window she could see them screw something together slowly by their side.

Y/n glanced down to get a better look, it was a gun. All she could hear was the beating of her heart thumping loudly in her ears. Thinking quickly Y/n shoved Peter into a locker. A bullet whizzed past where his head once was and made a tiny thump when it hit the wall.

His eyes went wide momentarily stunned before he sprung into action. He shot out a web, grabbed the gun out of the man's hand, and flung it across the hall, making sure he couldn't get to it.

The men paused for a minute before muttering something to each other end breaking into a spring toward them. Well mostly at Peter luckily for her but still in her direction. Peter began to fight the one whose gun he had stolen hand to hand. The man got in a punch to Peter's face. Peter tripped him and tied him up with his webs.

The second man was coming toward her. Before she could second guess herself Y/n took her chrome book and slapped the man across the face with it. The man was momentarily shocked and Y/n opened an unlocked locker hitting him in the face. She watched him slide down the lockers unconscious.

More men turned the corner and came down the hallway. Y/n kicked a waist-length garbage can with wheels toward them as a small distraction. Peter grabbed Y/n pulling her into an empty classroom.

Y/n locked the door before she grabbed Peter and dragged him further into the classroom into a supply closet. They both crouched behind a mop bucket leaving the door cracked for a tiny bit of light.

"Would you like to tell me why there's someone outside this classroom trying to blow my brain out!" She huffed.

"Don't ask me. For all, we know they could be after you!" They both flinched as they heard the door handle shake.

"They were attacking you. Shooting at you. And you'd have a bullet in the back of your head if I didn't push you out of the way if I might add." She poked him in the chest.

The men began to start kicking at the door trying to break it down "Maybe if we figure out who they are we can get out of this."

"You know what I have an idea." Y/n reached back and grabbed the gun out of the waistband of her pants. Y/n started not to care much for introductions when they tried to assassinate her. Her motto was to shoot first ask questions later because she was not going down without a fight.

"What the hell Y/n! Where did you even get a gun?" Peter tried to put some distance between them but failed and ended up bumping into a shelf.

"Calm down bug boy I'm not going to shoot you." She rolled her eyes "I grabbed it off the guy while I smashed my laptop over his head."

"You are not shooting anyone!" He exclaimed. He was going to die with a psychopath. A literal psychopath. What would his uncle Ben say if he could see him right now?

"Fine whatever. How many webs do you have left?"

"Only one." He muttered.

"Only one! How the hell do you only have only one web left?" Oh lord. She was going to die in a janitor's closet with an idiot.

"Oh well, I'm sorry I didn't know I would have someone trying to paint the walls with my organs. I must have forgotten to mark it on my calendar!"

"Oh god, Okay." Y/n rubbed her forehead with her free hand.

She took the clip out of her gun and counted the bullets she had. Two. Okay, she could work with that, Somehow. She just had to live long enough to beat Peter up for almost getting them killed.

She turned back to Peter "Alright here's the plan so we are going to jump out of the window and see just how far that web can exactly get us." She could hear the pounds on the door getting more frequent and if she was being honest she was surprised it held this long.

"Are you crazy! You going to get us both killed." He didn't need the answer because he already knew she was. He swore he could see the shadows swirl around her for a moment but as quickly as it was there it was gone.

"Do you have any better ideas because I'm all ears, Parker?" He didn't say anything and just ran a hand through his hair letting out a frustrated sigh.

"That's what I thought." Y/n knew there was a good chance that they get hit by incoming traffic like a bug on a windshield but it was either that or the SWAT team outside.

"Let's get this over with." Said Y/n. They both stepped outside of the closet. The men outside the room gave the door one last kick and it broke off of the hinges. "Go." That was all Peter said.

Y/n shot the window with the two bullets she had. Peter ran over to Y/n and grabbed onto her tightly. They jumped through the window shattering it. Peter shoots out his last web hooking onto a nearby tree. At the peak of the swing, Peter let go of the web. They flew over the traffic narrowly avoiding the cars.

When they finally reached the ground they hit it hard. Peter took most of the impact but Y/n still hit her head. They continued to hold tightly onto each other as they rolled through the grass from the momentum of the swing.

They came to a slow stop and Y/n landed on top of Peter. She slumped off to the side of him and sat up. Peter did the same but with a groan feeling all of the bones in his body.

He noticed blood began to trickle out of Y/n's nose. "You got something." He pointed to her nose.

She wiped under her nostrils with her fingers and then again with the bottom of her shirt without a second thought "Oh, Thanks."

Peter rested his head on his knees. What was he going to do? As much as he didn't like Y/n he felt bad for dragging her into this. "We need to get going they are going to come looking for us soon."

"Where are we going to go?" The light was starting to become too much so Y/n put her hand over her eyes to shield her from the sun. She was starting to get a headache and just wanted to lay down. Peter stood up and dusted off his shirt and pants.

"Avengers compound." He held out a hand to her. She took it and he pulls her up onto her feet. They began to walk toward the street.

"I just don't know how we are going to get there." He added. They made it onto the sidewalk. Y/n was stumbling around so Peter kept his pace slow so she could keep up with him.

Y/n stopped walking "What do you think of this car?" She nodded to a 1997 Honda Accord.

"It's cool I guess." He said confused the car was a little old but he didn't say anything.

"Alright good. Now hand me your web-shooters." She held out her hand toward him.

"Okay?" He didn't really know what she was trying to get at. Peter just assumed she hit her head too hard but he complied anyway.

Y/n crouched down facing the car. She broke his web-shooters over her knee taking out two long curved metal pieces. She handed him back the rest of his broken web-shooters. Peter stared at her wide-eyed as she stuck the two metal pieces into the lock of the car.

"What are you doing." He hissed. Peter walked closer to Y/n trying to cover her as she picked the lock to the car.

"I just gave our problem a solution." She said without looking. She continued to twist the pieces around until she heard a little click. She gave a little cheer and opened the door.

"Yeah by stealing someone's car. Need I remind you is illegal."

" I like to think of it as borrowing. Besides I will happily leave you if you wish." She rolled her eyes. God, her head was throbbing.

Y/n took the plastic cover off of the steering column. There were three sets of wires and she grabbed the middle one. Y/n cut the red and blue wire. She touched the wires together until she heard the car start. She smiled to herself and lastly twisted the wires together.

She turned to Peter "Are you getting in or what?"

Peter looked around and then sighed "Fine, but I'm driving."

"What? No way, you don't even look old enough to drive." She crossed her arms.

"You have a concussion so I'm our best bet at not dying." He gave Y/n a sarcastic smile.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes but got out of the driver's seat.

"You know if you keep rolling your eyes they are going to get stuck like that." She flicked him off and he laughed.

Y/n basically collapsed into the passengers seat. Peter closed his door and started the car. He pulled into the street and Y/n rested her head against the window. The cool glass felt nice against her forehead. She notice a bruise on Peter's pale cheek from when he got hit earlier.

Every now and again he would glance at Y/n to see how she was doing. He figured she must not feel the best because she hasn't said one witty remark since they got into the car.

He hoped by now the Avengers were back at the compound and could Tell them what's going on and who was following them.

He looked over to her again and she had her eyes close. He jabbed her with his elbow "Hey, don't fall sleep. You might not wake back up."

"Hmm Okay." She said but didn't budge.

"I'm serious Y/n, open your eyes." Peter was starting to get worried. It wasn't that he cared about her. But he didn't know what to do with a dead body. Or at least that's what he told himself.

"Don't get your panties into a bunch, my eyes are open."

They pulled into the road of the compound. When it came into view Y/n suddenly sat up wide eyed "Holy shit."

"What?" Peter took his eyes off of Y/n and followed her line of sight.

"What the fu-"

Part 4

Taglist

@fandom-strumpet • @ginger-swag-rapunzel • @libraries-and-coffee

[chromium7sky]

The Devil Wears Armani| chapter 11

A/n: amg, finally updated this one 😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖 you guys can follow this story with #damirae , #devilwearsarmani and #fashionistaau tag

2 weeks. It's been two weeks since the last video call. Raven have been pouring her attention on working the suit that she has planned for Damian Wayne to wear for the Gala.

She had done the cutting, the sewing and all, and what's left is doing the embroidery. She chosen the gold thread selectively which give the vivid glow and bring out the majestic value to the wearer.

The embroidery are complete within 95% thanks to a specified sewing machine which she bought with the price money she won before during the her first fashion competition. It helps alot.

The date of Gala approaching like crawling on the thread of time and for the final touch, she combined all the pieces into a handsome looking suit.

As she put the wardrobe on the mannequin, she took a step back and see it as a whole picture. With her both hands, she makes the photograph gesture to capture the feels of how Damian would look like if he wears them.

Contemplating and satisfied she felt after she iron the suit and store in special cover suit. She looked at the calendar and looks like she has extra two weeks before Gala.

Speaking of Gala, she wondered what would the dress look like since it was Damian who made for her? Would it be shoulder bare? Would it be one piece dress? Raven rubbed her chin as she wonder then she noticed herself on standing mirror. Slowly she spin to the left then to right as she look her body shape contour. If she was designing her own dress she probably went with thick fabric drape style. Simple, elegant and exclusive.

Her eyes glanced at the clock that's shows 10.30pm.

Wait.

She blink her eyes. How come she didn't thought of it. What would his design for herself? She did shown her sketches to Damian but won't he shown his? Curious, curious.

Raven imagine what if she asked, Damian would probably say, ' you don't trust me? Tsk tsk.' Raven sighed as her hand run down her face thinking about that. "Maybe I'll try to ask tomorrow."

Suddenly, a bleep sound indicate a message comes in. Raven blink then looked at her phone screen.

"Girl, You busy today?"

- Karen

It's been a while. Raven smiled then diligently answered the question.

"Not quite. Just finished designing a suit. What's up?"

She hit send.

Then came up another message on her inbox.

"We got party tomorrow at Viva La coast at Riverside. Wanna come?"

Raven narrowed her eyes then humming. Should she go or not? Perhaps she need a time off after that intense week. A little entertainment doesn't hurt.

"Sure. You pick me up?"

" For course, sis. 😘 See you at 8pm, tomorrow."

"On it.👌"

Raven smiled then landed on her bed. As she let out her relief sigh she put her phone at table nearby.

As she sleep, she dreamt of something pleasant. She's at fountain garden where surrounded by fragrance flowers and palm-like trees.

She notice her dress has gold accent along with silky texture clothes. Slowly her hands touched the dress she wear, felt it's smooth surface.

Her heart stop as she felt a hand holding her waist. Slowly she turn her head over her shoulder and -

BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP

Her eyes wide open as soon as she heard her phone alarm. She blink once then twice, trying to process her thoughts. When a sprinkle of dream remembrance filled in her her head, her cheeks start to blushed. Her hand quickly grab her pillow beside her and buried her face beneath it.

"O dear, don't tell me it's him that I'm dreaming about last night." She let out her sighed. She had fallen for him.

A message bleep chiming in her phone makes her peek under the pillow and quickly she reached for her phone.

A message from him.

'OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG' Raven's heart start racing. "Wh-Wha...H-How...." She tried to question reality, how on earth he's messaging her. Right now?

"You're awake?"

Raven bit her bottom lips as she look at her phone screen. Her finger diligently working on touch screen pad.

"Just awake. Can't sleep?"

She hit send button. Then for a few second she received his reply.

"I just had dream about you...

You look beautiful."

A dream? She blinked. Then another message comes in.

"Still busy working on the suit?"

Raven biting her lips to keep it as a secret but it's almost 25th like in 5 days away, so....why not? Her finger tapping the keyword on screen replying him.

"Actually I've finish the suit."

She replied. Another thought hit her and she quickly tapped it on the phone.

"I did promise making for dinner right? Maybe tomorrow?"

Again she send the text.

Interval in 2-3 second, her phone bleep it back.

"That would be great. I'll bring something as surprise."

Surprise? Raven mind start racing, mostly to that forbidden thoughts. What kind of surprise? She bit her lips and start typing.

"Well uh, I hope it's not a refrigerator you're bringing."

She shaked off those thought and try keep the conversation as innocent as possible.

"No. It's not. It's something, you probably would like it. 😏"

Raven looked at the emoji face he send. Did he send an emoji? Damian Wayne doesn't use emoji while texting or emailing.

"Well, alright then. See you tomorrow?"

She hit the send button.

Then a message came in.

"Can't wait to see you.♥️"

Raven flopped to her bed and her face now are red tinted. What is this? Why is this feeling so intense? She closed her eyes retracing her memory between them. Those bickering and end up with hot make out along intimate session in his office.

"I guess we should discuss about this terms of relationship." She talked in her pillow.

---------------

She has complete all the order that has been request by some local boutique and some are from online website. She's quite amazed with things that happens after the talk show incident where Damian said about Raven going to Wayne Gala this week.

People start to shift their attention to her especially her design clothes. Does Damian intend to promote her? She rubbed her chin then sudden, Mona, her assistant knock her door.

"Come in."

Mona peek behind the door, she smiled and slowly walk to her boss. " You have received a gift!" The assistant handled to her a parcel.

"A gift?" Raven whisper under her breath. Could it be Damian? Her eyebrows furrowed. She took out knife letter and slowly cut , unwrapped the parcel and she saw an apparel, black with velvet felt. There is the tag at the collar says Draco.

Her eyes widen. Draco? You mean Melchior Draco?

"Who is it? Your lover?" Mona feeling excited.

"No. This is from my competitor." Raven cover the box and push it away. Her head suddenly filled with painful memories about her and Melchior encounter. The way he flirt her before her first joining competition, the betrayal, and stolen her design to built his empire.

Her heart boiled with anger which in result she crumpled her paper nearby which made Mona a bit fall back by her intimidation.

"I'm sorry about that, Miss." Mona bow her head quickly apologize for not realise what is going on.

Raven snapped back from those memory and quickly look at the paper . " Oh!" She's surprise and quickly she try to straighten up the paper she crumbled. " No, no, it's okay, Mona. It's nothing." She smiled. " You can go now."

" Ah, alright then." She nod and walked to the door and-

" By the way, boss, there's a caller said he's from metropolis daily planet wanted to interview you about being guest at the gala." Mona turned to her as she spite out another appointment.

" Well, set it tomorrow then." Raven tidy up her table and throw the parcel to the bin nearby.

"Uh, you threw that?" Mona pointed at the parcel inside the dustbin.

"You want it?"

"Ummm...it looks beautiful." Her assistant fidgeting.

Raven smiled and took the parcel. She dust a bit. "Take it and wear where I don't see it. Or else I end up burn them with hellfire." Raven eyes shown deep hatred and anger.

"Ok boss." She smiled, quickly snatched the parcel and run to the exit.

As she was alone in her office, she slump in her chair and sigh heavily. "I guess he's also in town too." Her finger tapping on her table creating random melodies.

-------

Its 7.55pm, Raven now waiti g for Karen to pick her up as she lingers in her living room. She's wearing a one piece black dress decorated with golden and black labuci make it more fabulous looks.

She look at her phone to kill her waiting time until she stumbled on a post by E fashion news.

"Top trending designer DRACO are in town for launching their latest collection 'BLAK MAJIK' "

As raven read the article, she felt upset as she remember Melchior stole her ideas in doing a line fashion about magic before she presented the ideas at her first fashion show competition.

As she read the article, the sound of the car honking makes her jolt and quickly look at the window. It seems Karen has reached at her apartment block, quickly she goes out and greet Karen who parked at the entrance.

*********

"I heard that bastard Melchior are in town." Karen slowly stirred her cocktail as her and Raven where sitting on a table outside of the Viva La Coast restaurant.

"Yeah, I did read the article about it." said Raven as she drink her pina colada. " So, who are we waiting for again?"

"I forgot to tell you, Kory won't be able to join us. She has to come with her boyfriend meet with his family at Wayne Mansion."

"Wayne Mansion?" Raven's eyes jump out. Wayne, wasn't Damian last name is Wayne too?

" Yeah, but she's dating with Wayne's older adopted son, Richard Grayson. A high profile detective , probably will be promoted as soon. " Karen updating the status of their friend.

"I see." Raven looked at her drink. It's been a long time she hasn't talk to Kori because of her business setting up her small company.

"How about you then? You and Mal?" Raven raised her eyebrows.

"Well we've been planning for a wedding maybe in next year. " Karen smiled.

"Wait, I thought you're still in doctorate?" Raven eyes wide open as she remember Karen used to be a student in mechanical and atomic engineering.

"Will be graduated in two months." Karen smiled widely as she let out the fantastic news.

Raven goes all tears as she heard the good news. "Oh my god, Karen! I'm so happy!" She tried to hug Karen across the table.

Karen laughed with Raven's sudden behaviour. "That's why we celebrate it!"

"We should buy a cake. Wait, I know! Waiter!" Raven call up the waiter to get some dessert as celebration.

"And..."

Raven turns her head to Karen.

"I wanted you to design our wedding dress and suits." Karen faces flushes as she speak her request. " I really, really adore your work , Rachel. I wanted you to design it."

"Damn it , Karen. You make me all teary." Raven wiped her tears as she smiled sheepishly. " Of course I will."

"Karen, do you know anything about the youngest Wayne?"

"You mean Damian Wayne?"

"Yeah."

"I heard that he just back from middle east after doing charity project between the Wayne Enterprise and Leviathan Industries."

"I think everyone knows about that, Karen." Raven smiled as she drink up.

"I am very speculate that both of you have met." Karen with her mischievous smile now painted on her lips. " Is that the same guy who become your muse in your long lost sketch book?"

Raven clutches her hand on her drink, almost breaking it but she keep with her calm face. " I don't think so." She tried to denied it following with Karen's giggle.

"Plus, when he said there will be Raven in Wayne's Gala, I was like 'Raven?!' to the tv screen and I swear there's something going on between both of you." Karen crossed her armed with one eyebrow raised as she looked as Raven like she's a suspect.

"Well..." Raven averted her sight to the table and nervously tug her hair behind her ears. " There is."

BAM!

Raven jolted as Karen slammed the table with her drink. "TELL ME."

She swallowed her saliva as she seen Karen being over eager. She sighed as she adjust her seating, leaning towards the table.

"It start with that day, the day when he show up out of nowhere with that deal." Raven start to spilled what happen recently.

[hellagoodhaylor]

Ok, this will be another master post so could you do that copy and paste thing and if I run out of room and submissions just wait to post until I say POST because this will be long but good. Harry says a girl who he had a recent relationship with who had also affected him in the past couple of years has influenced a large part of his album. Now, we know the most recent relationship Harry was in was with Kendall as in the BBC interview, Harry says he hasn't dated since the beginning of February

"2)of 2016 (around the time Hendall broke up). Kendall would also fit the description as they were involved in 2013/14 and they have been friends throughout the years. But the problem is, I don't think Harry and Kendall were that much in love. And I'm not saying this because I ship Haylor but because if they were then basically every piece of Haylor proof from 2014 onwards wouldn't make sense. So I'll start in 2013 after Haylor had broken up. We have Harry and Taylor breakup but then have a small3)reunion (possibly only for hookups) in January 2013 in Cannes where they are together. They specifically aren't seen together because they don't want the public to know and articles are written about them. Then they cool off at the Brits (they are seen flirting and possibly hooking up with other people). But, by April, we have Harry missing Taylor as the boys tease him in Little Things. Throughout the rest of 2013, we have little hints of Harry missing Taylor such as assuming an interviewer4)was talking about Taylor's perfume, the VMAs, Harry's friend tweeting him WANEGBT lyrics and he says please??, and then comes November. Harry and Kendall are seen together for the first time and it can be assumed their relationship started around then. However, Harry also says in an interview (regarding exes and Taylor) that sometimes if you have feelings for an ex, it's ok to get back together with them. We also have MM come out which has Happily which Harry said he wrote about a relationship5)in which your ex is with someone else and you want them back (could be about Tay bc she said in style that she tried to get over harry with other guys but couldn't). Also about not caring what others say (the main cause of their breakup). By Taylor's birthday, Harry tweets the Winding Wheel lyrics (while dating Kendall) on Taylor's birthday as well as posts the Cannes sunset picture. While this is going on, not only is Harry dating Kendall, but he is also hanging out with Ed, Taylor, Courtney6)Cox, and Johnny McCaid in Cox's Malibu house (Courtney followed them all on the same day and she said it was really fun passing beer around and playing the guitar and this continues throughout Hendall 1.0). Gemma also hints that Harry may not like Kendall as much as everyone thinks as she tweets "trust me, Harry is putting his arm around Kendall [at the Eagles concert] to strangle her". Then in February, Taylor writes 1989 with Style being the last song she writes. Although people think7)were little more than a crush then and certainly not hooking up. Also Taylor implies that they were on and off more than once, so now would fit the timeline. This is just a theory, but I think maybe in January (detail about the man in styles is taking off his coat implying winter) Harry gave Taylor a ride home from hanging out with Ed and them and they hooked up (while he was dating Kendall yikes). We also have Taylor writing IWYW about Harry telling her that whole thing and he probably told8)her at this time because they were friends. It would also make sense that Harry gave Taylor a ride home then because they had houses really close to each other. Then Kendall and Harry breakup seemingly amicably at the end of February except Kendall likes a post saying boys are mean and to eat vegetables do squats and wear red lipstick. Also in Feb/Jan of 2014, we have Harry pinning a post on his old Pinterest (it doesn't exist anymore) about how beautiful and "vocally aweing" Taylor's10)performance of ATW at the Grammys was and how Red deserved a Grammy (thx Harry finally someone said it). Also, a fan sends him a direct with a picture of Taylor and he opens it. Anyway, Hendall breaks up and Harry, in the following month (March 2014 and throughout the rest of 2014) writes a string of songs that are almost positively about Taylor (I Love You, WDBHG, Just a Little Bit of Your Heart, Someday Maybe, Not Our Fault). Also, Harry gives I Love You to Alex and Sierra under his pen name11)which is important because at this same time, Alex and Sierra are hanging out with Taylor because Sierra posts a picture of Taylor's cat. Also, in that interview Alex and Sierra not only say that whoever wrote I Love You not only had a fling with Taylor but was also really good friends. We know for certain that throughout 2014, Harry and Taylor were friends as not only did this all happen, but Taylor also said she was "really close friends" with the person who 1989 was about in interviews as12)well as the secret sessions. It is also important to note that Harry wrote it secretly and then, when a fan met Ariana Grande recently (this may be a troll) Ariana said JALBOYH was about a secret lover of Harry's and then when another fan asked if it was Taylor she winked (COULD TAYLOR AND HARRY HAVE BEEN SECRETLY DATING IN 2014/HOOKING UP IN SECRET AS THE MEDIA WAS TOO MUCH FOR PUBLIC?). We all know what happens in 2015 but my point is this: if Hendall was that influential in 2014 none of13)this would have happened and if it was, then all of this haylor proof couldn't be true. The Hendall relationship resulted in single Kendall and Harry and Harry and Taylor writing tons of love songs about one another. If Harry really loves Kendall (and this was his longest relationship with her) then he wouldn't have hung out with ed and Taylor, wouldn't have hooked up with Taylor as style says, wouldn't have posted winding wheel lyrics, wouldn't have said he wanted to get back together with14)an ex, wouldn't have pinned a tweet about her brilliance, wouldn't have opened that direct, and overall, wouldn't have been involved with another girl (particularly his ex) while he had a girlfriend. From that relationship all we can conclude is that Harry and Taylor hooked up/were friends in 2014 and wrote songs about one another-they still had feelings for one another but one of them (Taylor) didn't want to go on). Ok, so that was the most serious Hendall round and it had little impact on15)Harry. Now for the yacht. We already knew they were friends in 2015. Can I mention though that even when they were friends then, they didn't have some secret love as who did Harry write MITAM about? Yeah not Kendall, even though he could have if she meant that much to him. So Taylor was with Calvin and we have Harry inviting Cara and Kendall to a 1D concert and then they went on the yacht and I will say they were definitely more than friends but we also have to remember that Harry signed his16)deal on the yacht and it just so happens Kendall is friends with all of those people. Ok, then by the end of January, they aren't together anymore and what does Harry do? He thinks about Taylor just as he did in 2014. He tweets 22 lyrics on his bday as well as likes an insta pic from Paige reifler. He also tweets a lyrics by Norah Jones from "Come Away With Me" about wanting a lover you can't have or want to come away to a secret place). Also, if you believe all of the hscox94/Spotify account17)account stuff, there are subtl haylor vibes. The point being: he is single. And did he have to be single, no because he didn't go away to film Dunkirk for another month or so. Then after the pictures are leaked, Harry and Kendall are seen shopping together in LA in April. Not a reunion, but simply proves they are friends-always have been probably always will be. Then, come September after Harry contributes some Haylor-like vibes to Another Man Magazine (possibly a reach but that poem and the18)Stevie Nicks thing), Kendall and Harry are seen getting lunch in LA, but Harry's team immediately confirms that they are only friends. Then it's nothing until November, when Harry, as a friend, is invited to her bday party and they take a picture together, but more importantly, a picture is taken of Kendall making out with someone with Harry right next to them on his phone. Then on New Years Kendall is seen kissing ASAP Rocky or some other guy and then they avoid each other at the KOL concert19)Since then, nothing. My point about this is: they are friends. This shouldn't come as a surprise since they have many mutual friends, and split amicably both times around, and go to each other's bday parties. Kendall is not at his 23rd though. Ok, now this is really recent, but Kendall basically confirmed she is having a friends-with-benefits type of thing with ASAP Rocky in her Harpers Bazaar article (everyone kind of suspected this already, they were seen at Coachella all touchy, and out an20)about in London--note she wasn't with Harry who was in London at the time but with ASAP). So once again, my point is they are friends. Harry may not love Taylor anymore, but it certainly wouldn't make very much sense if the girl who influenced a huge part of his album was Kendall. In 2014, he was fine cheating on her and breaking up, in 2016, he was fine ending their relationship from the yacht and being friends, and in 2016/17 he is fine seeing her kiss other guys at her party and although21)are friends, things might still be icy as they didn't talk during KOL concert. I do think, since they split amicably and are still friends, that they might/are up to getting back together in that sort of friend-like way (Harry even says he has a couple of flames left in the BBC radio--and I think Kendall is one of them). I just think that the way Harry spoke about this girl in Rolling Stones, it just doesn't fit to him and Kendall. He even said he wanted to give whomever not only a tip of the21)but the whole cap and do you really think that girl is the same girl he had no problem watching kiss some other guy or didn't talk to at a concert? If he did, I support him 100% and although I love Haylor, if it is about Hendall, that's fine as long as he is happy. Besides the point of his music-of all music- is not to speculate but to listen and enjoy. So I did this for some fun I know I'm a loser but ultimately whoever it's about it doesn't matter because I will be buying and listening POST"BLESS YOU FOR TYPING ALL OF THIS OUT AND SENDING IT TO ME! I don't even know what to say except DAMN IT I MISS HAYLOR.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you ���� Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕