#whyyy are you not sauron?

[alifelongpassed]

[wulfhalls]

the fact that galadriel is basically naked on the raft 😏 it definitely is see-through and she is dripped 😏 and the 6th gif in the set you reblogged 😏 when sauron pulls her out of the water girl is lying there basically naked 😏

whyyy does this ask feel soooo smarmy 😭 it's like a fourty something fresh divorcee wrote this on his way to his day drink session at the strip club two doors down from the motel that he's now living in that exclusively gives of the vibe: serial killers would have frequented this joint in the 70s

[celebrimbor-of-eregion]

Fourth Age one-shot. Sauron being a dumbass.

“Tyelpë...”

“Oh don’t you Tyelpë me.”

“Sweetness!”

“I’m bitter.”

“Love of mine…”

“You don’t even know what that word means.”

“Lord Telperinquar?” Sauron smiled like a young elfling begging for ice cream.

“Better.”

“You look so good today, my Lord!” Oh, those admiring eyes; disgusting!

“Yes, and you can’t wait to ruin me right?”

“Would never do that to my Lord!” Sauron was about to drip onto the floor and pool around his feet like a puddle of molasses. “Telperinquar, my heart…”

“You have no such thing.”

“Oh, but I do! And I love you!”

“Pfft.”

“Tyelpë, oh precious Tyelpë give me another chance!”

The Noldo growled. “Oh yes, cause I’m that stupid, right?!”

“No, no no, because you love me, and I love you…” The wretch dared to touch his hand. “Bound forever, remember what you said?”

“Bound forever by awful memories,” Telperinquar spat. “Sauron, get away from me.”

“Whyyy, why Sauron? I’m your Annatar, your Annie…” the purring was getting annoying. “I still need someone to brush my hair in the morning… and call me to bed at night…” The golden eye winked.

“Oh, I’ll call my grandfather, and then you’ll be in bed for years, and Estë’s Maiar will brush your hair,” the elf smirked.

“Noo, why would you call Fëanaro to hurt me?..” Oh, those hands were stroking his shoulders now! So warm…

“I love you Tyelpë, goodness I love you, I can’t live without you, my life turned into an absolute disaster once you were gone…” When did he let those lips whisper right into his ear?! “Please, Tyelpë, don’t torment me so…”

Oh, bad choice of words! In a flash, Sauron was on the ground, eyes wide open, staring at Telperinquar.

“Get out, Sauron,” Tyelpë hissed. “Leave me alone. I’m not desperate enough to come back to you. If I see you near me again, I’m going to tell Galadriel.”

Mairon had to admit defeat - but only for today! “I love you Tyelpë. You’ll be mine one day.”

Telperinquar chuckled. “Maybe if you change your entire personality…”

Mairon’s gaze was loving and hopeful. Tyelpë gave him a way!

“Goodness, you’re such an idiot,” the elf laughed at him, but he didn’t care. He was going to win that Noldo back, even if it costs the entire Arda!

[wolvesdevour]

I’m loving that when the Elf-ring bearers and Saruman fight-talk it out with Sauron, the way it ends is that Galadrial is all hey remember your master and boyfriend? whyyy don’t you go back to him??? YOU KNOW IN THE VOID And ultimately Sauron is like I CANT BE WITH HIM OR I WOULD YOU KNOW WHAT and then runs off to sulk in anger