#why would i pass her. she doesn't acknowledge me. think maybe she didn't see me

[gideonisms]

was she pretty? legally, making a fool of yourself in front of a pretty girl can qualify as Art™

well, I certainly thought she was four years ago. at this point I've moved on

[tinylilacbun]

Could you do a JJ’s little sister fanfic where she gets hit by Luke and JJ comforts her and takes her to the chateau to get her away from it? She could be like 13 maybe

Daddy Issues

Pairing: brother!jj maybank x sister!reader

Warnings: angst, child abuse, Luke, bruises, swearing

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

You squint your eyes shut as you try to close the front door quietly, praying to god that your father is dead asleep or passed out from drinking.

Peeking inside the living room you sigh in relief when he is nowhere to be seen only to squeak when you bump into a chest, looking up to face your father.

"You're late." He states, the smell of beer reaches your nose and you refrain from the urge to scrunch your face up in disgust.

"M-My phone died and I lost track of time." You stammer, cursing at yourself mentally for giving him the satisfaction of knowing that he's scaring you.

"Uh-huh..." He trails off before his fist suddenly connects with your face, sending you on the ground from the inpact. "Care to explain why your goddamn school called me today 'cause you keep ditchin'?"

You cradle the side of your face, tears stinging in your eyes as you try to come up with an explanation only to flinch when he raises his hand again.

"If I get one more call I swear I'll give you a beating that you'll never forget." He seethes and when you don't give any acknowledgement he leans down to grab your face with one hand, his fingers digging uncomfortably into your skin. "Got it?"

"Y-Yes dad..." You answer, your voice shaking.

He let's go of you harshly, walking past you to get himself another beer and you quickly scramble off the floor to rush for your room, locking the door you press your forehead against it and let the tears finally flow.

Fun fact, the only times you don't go to school are the days you got another bruise from Luke, not wanting to keep explaining to your teachers where they're from and risking that CPS gives you a visit, knowing they would instantly take you and JJ into foster care and the chances that you both stay together is low.

You wouldn't know what to do without him. He's your big brother, the only person you can tell everything and see more as a father figure than Luke.

20 minutes later you're curled up on your bed, sobbing quietly into your pillow when a tapping on your window startles you, lifting your head to see JJ.

You force yourself to get up and walk over to the window, opening it for him to stumble through.

"Thanks...didn't wanna get caught by dad." He says, standing back straight he smoothes out his clothes, adjusting the cap on his head.

He doesn't notice what state you're in until you move back to your bed, getting a glimpse of your face from the lamp on your nightstand illuminating it.

His eyes widen as he approaches you. "Whoa, what happened." He asks, lifting his hand to grab your chin but when you flinch away he stops mid air, his jaw clenching the moment he realizes.

Luke. He's gonna kill him. He's gonna fucking-

JJ's thoughts are interrupted by you starting to sob, pulling you into a hug with a hand cradling the back of your head against his chest. "Shh, I'm here now...I got you."

He just stands there with you for a while, not making any move to pull away, waiting for you to make the first move and when you do he pushes you gently to sit down on your bed.

Without saying anything he grabs one of your bags and shoves some clothes into it and any necessities he thinks you might need, then crouches down to pick up the teddy bear you had since you were a baby and shoves it in there as well before he stands back up.

"Let's go." He grabs your hand and pulls you towards your window.

You don't protest and climb over the window seal, your feet touching the ground again you watch JJ come out after you and shut the window quietly.

He grabs your hand again and leads you to his dirt bike, helping you sling the bag onto your back, climbing onto his bike first he waits for you to get on as well.

After you do, you wrap your arms around him tightly, your face pressing against his back. JJ revs his bike before taking off towards the Chateau, knowing you'll feel safer there.

Arriving at your second home JJ stops the others from greeting you, telling them you need a moment and taking you inside, placing his hands on your shoulders he leans down to meet your gaze.

His heart aches at the sight of the blooming bruise on your right eye, your eyes puffy and red rimmed from the crying. "Go take a shower, I'm waiting with the others outside, yea?"

You nod, making your way to the bathroom JJ sighs, walking back outside he grabs a beer can and cracks it open, taking a big sip.

"What's up with tiny maybank?" John b asks, his concern growing when JJ starts pacing, pulling the cap off his head angrily.

"Fucking Luke..." The blonde mutters. "He hit her man! He hit my baby sister!"

Everyone's eyes widen, protectiveness and anger flaring up in all of them. You're the youngest of the group, so of course they see you as their own little sibling and would do anything for you, just like JJ does.

"Why? What happened? Is she okay?" Kie asks concerned and JJ scoffs.

"No, she's not fucking okay, kie. She has a damn black eye 'cause of this piece of shit!" He snaps at her, too worked up to see that his friends are just as worried and upset as he is.

"Man, calm down, okay? We're trying to help." Pope tries to ease the tension.

"Right, right. I'm sorry- I just...fuck. I should've been there I..." JJ trails off, feeling tears build up in his eyes but pushing them back.

He knows how you feel, the feeling of not understanding how someone who's supposed to love and take care of you can hurt you like that without batting an eye.

JJ feels even worse for not being there to protect you, to stop his father from laying a hand on you.

He sits down on the ground near the crinkling fire, his arms braced on his knees when he feels a hand on his shoulder, looking to his side to look at John b.

His best friend doesn't need to be a mind reader to know what he's thinking, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance. "It's not your fault, jay. We're here for you both."

JJ just nods, giving him a small smile. "I know. Thank you. All of you."

Everyone's attention goes to the Chateau when they hear the screen door being shut, seeing you coming towards them, freshly showered and dressed in an oversized shirt.

JJ instantly gets on his feet again, approaching you to pull you into another hug and you wrap your arms around him, holding onto his shirt tightly. "I'm sorry I wasn't there I-"

"S'okay..." You whisper, already feeling a lot better being in the presence of your real family. "I love you, jay..."

"I love you too, kid." He whispers back, pulling back to press a kiss to your forehead. "More than anything.

You smile at him, the throbbing pain from your bruised eye slowly fading as you turn to look at the others. "Hey guys..."

"C'mon, sit with us, sweetie." Sarah pats the places next to her and you go to sit beside her, letting her wrap an arm around you.

The moment everyone gets settled again the usual banter and laughter kills the built up tension in the air, JJ keeping an eye on you the whole time to make sure you're alright.

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu @mylettterstoyou

For JJ:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @flora-eva

[wandasreallover]

Obsession|mean! Wanda x reader

College au!

Warnings: swearing, wandas a meanie, reader has a boyfriend

The air in the dorm room hung thick with the scent of stale coffee and the tension that had simmered between us since the first day of freshman year. Wanda Maximoff, with her messy brown hair, perpetually smudged eyeliner, and a smirk permanently etched on her lips, was sprawled across my bed, flipping through a textbook with complete disregard for the fact that I was trying to study.

'You really think you'll pass Professor Barnes' class with that level of effort?' she drawled, her voice dripping with mock concern.

I slammed my notes shut, the frustration building within me like a pressure cooker. 'Just because you can breeze through everything doesn't mean everyone else can,' I snapped.

She laughed, a sharp, mirthless sound that echoed in the small space. 'Don't be so dramatic, darling. It's not like you're actually trying to learn anything.'

'Well, maybe if you weren't constantly trying to sabotage my every attempt, I would,' I retorted, my voice tight with barely-contained anger.

She shrugged, her green eyes gleaming with a mischievous light. 'Just trying to keep things interesting, love. You're so predictable, it's frankly boring.'

This was our routine, a constant back-and-forth that had become the soundtrack to our shared dorm room. She loved to torment me, to push my buttons, to make my already stressful college life a living hell. I, in turn, hated her with a fierce, burning passion that I refused to acknowledge.

Later that night, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my reflection a pale ghost against the dimly lit room. I was exhausted, my face lined with worry, my eyes perpetually bloodshot. Every interaction with Wanda chipped away at my sanity, leaving me feeling drained and defeated.

As if sensing my unease, she entered the room, her movements a graceful panther prowling through the shadows. She stopped in front of me, her dark eyes boring into mine, her gaze sharp and unnerving.

'Going out with your little boyfriend again?' she asked, a sardonic smile playing on her lips. It was no secret to anyone that wanda maximoff hayed your boyfriend but quite frankly i didn't care, i find it amusing how worked up she gets over me seeing him.

Despite this my heart skipped a beat, a wave of heat rushing through me. I had desperately been trying to keep any real confrontation surrounding him from her to a minimum as this was my small, fragile sanctuary amidst the chaos she brought into my life. Trying so desperately to avoid any comments which admittedly make me slightly insecure, slowly chipping away my self esteem.

'It's none of your business,' I said, my voice brittle.

She leaned closer, her breath warm against my skin. 'Don't lie, darling. I saw you. You were holding hands, all lovey-dovey.'

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. I thought i had been so careful, so desperate to protect this part of my life as far from her as possible, and yet, she had seen through my attempts at privacy.

'So what? Are you going to try to ruin this, too?' I challenged, my voice trembling.

She tilted her head, a playful glint in her eyes. 'Ruin it? Why would I do that? I'm just interested, darling. Tell me about him.' despite her condescendingly sweet tone i saw through her, her facing plastered with a poorly surpressed smirk.

Unwilling to entertain her, her words hung in the air, a twisted invitation laced with an unsettling intensity. I felt a shiver run down my spine, a strange mix of fear and fascination coursing through me.

'I thought you didn't care,' I whispered, my voice barely audible, unprepared for the onslaught of any insults she may throw my way. However that doesn't come. A sudden silence descended upon the room, broken only by the soft hum of the refrigerator. Wanda stepped closer, her gaze unwavering.

'I don't,' she whispered back, her voice a low, mesmerizing murmur. 'But I do.'

Her words, spoken with an unusual vulnerability, sent a jolt through me. I looked into her eyes, the red depths swirling with emotions I couldn't decipher. Wanda is a mystery to me, despite all the time we are forced to spend together, never has she allowed herself to appear as vulnerable as she does now.

'What do you mean?' I asked, my voice a mere breath.

She took a step closer, the air growing thick with anticipation. 'I mean,' she said, her voice suddenly cold and barely a whisper, 'that I'm totally and utterly obsessed with you.'

The words hit me like a physical blow, leaving me stunned and speechless. I had been so focused on her antagonistic behavior, so consumed by the daily battles we waged, that I had completely missed the undercurrent of something else, something darker, something more intense. And now, it was spilling over, threatening to drown me in its depths.

'I see you,' Wanda continued, her voice a low hum against my skin, 'every time you walk by, every time you smile, every time you laugh. You're the only thing that matters, and I can't stop thinking about you.'

She leaned in, her lips brushing against my ear. 'I watch you,' she whispered, her voice laced with a strange, almost erotic, intensity. 'I watch you with him, and it makes me sick.'

I drew back, my heart pounding against my ribs. Her confession, the intensity of her obsession, the raw emotions swirling in her green eyes, it all felt so overwhelming, so terrifying.

'What do you want from me?' I managed to ask, my voice now trembling.

She smiled, a slow, predatory smile that sent a shiver down my spine. 'I want you,' she said, her voice a seductive whisper. 'I want you all to myself, and I'm going to have you.'

She leaned in again, her lips hovering just above mine. 'You're going to choose me,' she promised, her voice a dangerous murmur. 'And when you do, I will make you forget you ever knew anyone else.'

The air crackled with unspoken threats and suppressed desires, leaving me paralyzed with fear and a strange, unsettling fascination. I had no idea what was happening, what Wanda was capable of, what she intended to do with the power of her obsession. All I knew was that something had changed, the game had shifted, and the stakes had been raised to a level I could never have imagined.

A/n- i genuinely don't know how feel about this.

[simply-wlw-kpopstan]

1.The beginning

⚠️ Spoilers ahead

Baek Harin

She's the type of girl that gets what she wants, no matter the consequences. But what happens when she wants something she can't have? Someone who doesn't want anything from her?

You met on a sunny day at a bookshop, she was looking through the shelves as someone bumped into your shoulder making you drop your bag. The person didn't acknowledge you and just left the store as you bent down to pick up your stuff.

"are you okay?" a soft voice filled your ears. You looked up to see a beautiful girl staring down at you, "some people really don't care about others." she smiled.

"yeah, I'm alright thank you."

"You're not from around here are you?" She tilted her head slightly as she looked you up and down, "i'm Baek Harin. My family runs one of the businesses down the street."

"one of? How many do you own?" you chuckled but quickly stopped as you noticed the serious look on harin's face, "sorry. I didn't mean to be disrespectful."

"Oh no, it's just that it's refreshing to meet someone new. You really don't know anything about this place. My family owns Baekyeon Group, it's a big corporation here."

"ah, now that I understand." you looked around the store as you noticed some people staring, " so those people staring aren't because of my clumsy mistake but because of you."

You noticed the stunned expression on her face before she turned around, "if you didn't drop your bag you wouldn't have caught the attention from the whole store."

You furrowed your eyebrows, was she mad? Maybe she didn't like her status being brought up? "i-I didn't mean to-"

"didn't mean to be disrespectful? Yeah, you've said that before." she passed by you as an older lady walked inside the building, " what school do you go to?"

"i have some offers but I don't know yet" your gaze fell to the older woman who was staring at harin and you.

"you should come to baekyeon girls high school" harin didn't send you another glance as she left with the older woman.

You couldn't help but think back at your meeting with harin, eventually curiosity got the best of you and you decided to look her up. Baek Harin, the grand daughter of Baekyeon Group. The list of businesses under Baekyeon Group seemed to be endless and random. You couldn't believe how powerful her family must be, the things they can achieve with one phone call.

Before you know it you had gotten a letter from baekyeon girl's high school offering you a full scholarship and privileges of using the facilities for your art projects. How did they find you? How did they even know about your art? You were going to take it, you would be crazy not to but you couldn't ignore the feeling that something was off about all of this.

As luck would have it you run into Harin during your first day, " so your name is y/n? Nice to know since you never introduced yourself."

"in my defense I didn't have much time to introduce myself." you chuckled, "do you know the way to the-"

"no need. You're in my class." she smiled and motioned for you to follow her, "our class has a few privileges, we have separate breaks from others and we're the only class in the building." As she walked you around the school you couldn't help but notice the smell of smoke, perhaps harin was a smoker? You didn't blame her, she must deal with a lot of pressure with a family like hers." we have another classmate who's Into art so she'll show you around the studio during our break."

"huh? Oh, yeah. Thanks." you got so lost in your thoughts, you zoned out during her tour. "sorry, I was just thinking."

"well if there's anything you need you just tell me and I'll fix it for you." you don't know why but the way she said that made you a little uncomfortable, perhaps it's just your nerves for the first day?

Soon enough you got introduced to other students and then the pyramid game. You didn't like it and weren't afraid of voicing your opinion about it, the others got a little scared as you declined and doah explained you would be in F if you didn't play. You took your chances and nobody disturbed you. Days went by and you spent all your breaks and study time in the art studio, Sometimes yurim joins you to work on her own paintings but your mostly on your own.

One day you were working on a clay sculpture, using a description of some mythology book you found in the library, to create a unique creature. Little did you know that harin was standing in the doorway, watching you in silence as you worked on your project while listening to music. Only when you turned your body halfway to check if your creature looked good did you see harin.

"Hey, What are you doing here?" you questioned as you took out your ear buds.

"I was curious about where you escape to during breaks and yurim said I could find you here" she said as she stepped into the room, "What's that you're working on?"

"just a little mythology creature. I looked up some creatures and combined my favorite one's into one" you pointed to your sketches on the table beside you, "they're rough sketches but get the idea across."

The brunette walked closer towards you and looked down to the papers. Only when she was focused on your drawings did you realize how you looked. Your t-shirt, jeans and hands were dirty with clay, it was even on your face and in your hair since you took out your ear buds without wiping your hands first. "Don't get me wrong but don't you go for a smoke around this time? "

Her eyes immediately fly up to yours with a smug smile on her face, "and how do you know what I do around this time?"

"I-I uh" you stammered before clearing your throat, "you can see you're smoking spot from here." you pointed towards the window and she follows your gaze to the window.

"so how many times have you been watching me smoke?" She turns her attention back to you as she slowly walks closer to you.

"It's not like that." you tried to find something to say as you got too distracted by Harin stepping closer.

"You're pretty good by what I'm seeing. I could help you get your name out there, I know some art gallery owners." she stopped when there was barely any space left in between the both of you, "you must have very skilled hands if you can make things like that."

If she wasn't standing so close to you your brain would've come up with a clever and smooth come back but alas, Harin filled your senses and you didn't even think about your words when they fell from your lips, "I am great with my hands." by the look on her face you knew she didn't expect you to say that and it pulled you back to your senses.

You grabbed the cloth from behind you and cleaned your hands from the clay residue, " it's very tender and soft. I know perfectly where I need to caress, where I can be a little rougher, when I need to get it wet." you trailed off and noticed her little breath she took before wetting her lips. "I could show you if you'd like." you smirked as you finished toying with her.

"What?" this was the first time you saw her taking a step back herself, it was always the other person that backed down and you noted it down as a victory.

"tell me, have you ever gotten dirty yourself princess?" you knew the nickname could be a lowblow but it was a calculated risk, " you have a lot of people running errands for you. I know because I see them come and go when you're smoking out there. Don't you want to get your hands dirty yourself?" you took a step closer to her and before you know it you had her pressed against the table.

Big mistake on your part. A sound came from the hallway catching your attentions and as your gaze slips to the hallway harin picks up a paintbrush and smears it on your cheek, "there, I got my hands dirty."

"wha-." you were stunned but quickly laughed it off. "that was very sneaky." she caught you trying to steal away the brush and quickly put it into the water jar.

"I win" she smirked.

"really?" harin followed your gaze to a wet clump of clay that was laying on the opposite table and She shook her head.

"don't even think about it. I can ruin you if you do." you scanned her face to call her bluff but she was dead serious.

"I won't if you apologize for this." you pointed to your cheek with a challenging expression. She grabbed the cloth from before and dipped it into the water jar.

"i'm not going to apologize for something you started." she handed you the cloth and walked towards the door, "besides you were already covered in clay. You should probably spend more time practicing your art instead of watching me smoke." she sent you a smug smile before leaving you alone in the studio.

As you were cleaning up another student walked in and saw you cleaning off the paint from your face and immediately turned around without saying anything. Based on the weird things going on in this school you just brushed it off and continued your work.

Things had changed when Seong suji joined your class. Harin started to smoke a lot more, she didn't really talk to you and the tensions in the classroom got a lot heavier. You'd be lying if you said you didn't know about the bullying but you really didn't know that Harin was one of them.

Suji visited you in the studio during one of your breaks, "Hey I heard about what happened in here a couple of days ago. I didn't know she was doing this to you too."

"What?" you looked up from your sketches as she walked closer.

"Harin? I heard that someone walked in here after she left and you were covered in clay and had paint on your face. Why didn't you tell anyone? Jaeun and I went through the same we can help each other."

"we were messing around. she wouldn't do something like that. She's a good person, sure she can have a scary look in her eyes but it's just a look."

"you don't have to defend her y/n. We know what she's capable of. You ca-" suji got cut off by the door flying open.

"What's going on here." dayeon's voice filled the room, " are you plotting something?" She smirked. "I can't wait to tell harin about this, maybe she'll finally let me have my way with you." her eyes stayed on you as she walked closer.

"What are you talking about?" your heart started to race, you knew what dayeon had done in the past. She's quick to lose her temper and if you're at the recieving end it won't be pretty.

"haven't you wondered why nobody comes after you? You're an F just like Jaeun and suji but we don't hurt you because Harin said you were off limits. That Will change once she knows about this and I'll make sure we make up for lost time" dayeon had a sinister smile on her face.

You looked out the window but harin wasn't in her smoke spot. Where was she? By this time she's had a smoke and someone finds her there to ask whatever it is. it always looked exhausting to you. She tries to escape and yet they still find her, always wanting something from her. Was she bullying someone right now? No, you can't let them get in your head! "don't you have anything better to do than stand here and threaten me? And you.." you turned your attention to suji, "don't talk about things you don't know, Harin didn't do anything wrong that day. Things escalated and whatever happened is between me and her."

"Why-" suji tried to speak but you cut her off.

"don't. Both of you get out. I need to focus on this and you being here is ruining my mood." you sat down and focused on your papers. Suji and dayeon stood there for a minute before they left, you heard them fighting down the hall but you couldn't care less. Why should you care about them when they tried to bad talk Harin? Then again why would those two help each other? Why did she tell them you were off limits? Is she playing a game with you too? It didn't take too long before the door opened up again and there she was, Harin.

"dayeon told me something very interesting. Are you-"

"If you're here to play games I'm not interested." cutting her off wasn't the best idea but you had to know if harin was capable of the things they accused her of.

"games? Who said I was playing games with you? Was it suji because she's just looking for attention, you shouldn't believe anything she says."

"I'll choose what I believe myself but it was dayeon who told me." you dropped your pencil on the table as you looked up at her, "why did you tell them I'm off limits? What does that even mean? Why do you even come here?"

"Do you want them to treat you like they treat jaeun and suji? I can easily call it off right now" She says bluntly. "I come here because I like spending time with you."

You scoffed at her answer before looking back at your papers. "you like spending time with me but have been ignoring me for the past few days. Do you really think I would believe you like that?"

"Did you miss me? Is that why you're lashing out right now? " you can hear the smile in her voice.

You Quickly turn back to face her, "No." you stood up from your place and walked up until there was no space left in-between you two. "i'm being like this because I don't know who you are. There are more than enough people talking about what you've done to them, how you manipulate them into getting what you want but I never listened because that's not how I know you. But even your friends are telling me the same stories now and it's getting harder to see you in the same way then before harin."

"friends? You think dayeon is my friend?"

"i'm starting to think you don't have friends, you have pawns. You're just testing what kind I'll be to you."

"that's not..." she sighed and took out her phone, "give me your number." she held out her phone but you didn't take it, "fine" she put it back in her pocket and took one of the papers and pencils from the table. She scribbled down an address and slipped the little piece in your pocket, "come to that address tonight if you want to know who I am."

"What if I don't?" you asked as she was nearly out of the room.

She stopped in the doorway, "I won't disturb you or intervene in anything that's related to you."

"you mean I'll no longer be off limits."

"that's up to you now." and with that she left you alone once again. So it was true. Harin had told everyone you were off limits. what else were they right about?

masterlist | next

[rye-bread-soda-iceberg]

discussion and a little theory about black swan and sparkle's companion mission under the cut (+ spoilers) aka listen to me yap about the blue thing until I go insane

the First sampo we meet in penacony, specifically the one that follows us as we're hanging out with firefly, is nothing like how sampo himself is

his personality is a poor attempt from sparkle to try and convince us that it's him, but perhaps she's not familiar enough with him anymore to know exactly how he acts. "he" is acting weird and a little bit mean towards firefly for not knowing things about penacony even though she should

I don't think sampo would do that, at least the one we met on jarilo-VI wouldn't

the second (and third) time sampo appears, and this time it's actually him, is during the girls' companion mission

during the entire quest him and black swan play this little detective game orchestrated by sparkle where she writes herself in as a murder victim and has the two find her murderer. it's fun and silly and very chaotic

the entire story unfolds inside a dream bubble created by black swan, and when it's over the giant eyeball guy tells us that even though we recognized the people in the dream, it is still a dream. it doesn't represent reality and could have been tampered with

I don't believe that

anyways so. in this sampo acts a little bit more like the one we know, maybe slightly over the top at times but I think he was putting on a performance to spice things up. he was helping out sparkle with the whole thing in exchange for his mask that she probably stole from him (that we sadly don't get to see) so I bet he really put some effort into that, even begging black swan to not skip the last murder case

But. the MOST important part of this entire quest is.. the end. and the end is definitely not a dream

after the trio finishes talking, the dream stops and we briefly return to the real world before going into a memory. and boy there's some stuff to unpack in here

first of all the way they talk to each other? they almost seem like friends. of course, their views on the pursuit of elation are still different

he is still very polite about it

sparkle doesn't mention anything except muttering "why so serious" to herself

but they do talk like old friends and it's clear that in a sense they may be

after he asks for his mask back, sparkle remarks that it is not like the sampo she knows and then this little exchange happens

it is now canon, as in acknowledged out loud by a character (in this case himself) that sampo Really did orchestrate almost every thing that happened in jarilo-VI

how did he know this was going to happen? how can sparkle guess the reason why he wants his mask back? has he done this before? well clearly, thinking back to all the chaos he unleashes on that planet, maybe some kind of catastrophe has already came to it that we don't know about?

also slightly unrelated but I think he likes living there. he genuinely enjoys living in belobog because if he didn't, he'd find a way to leave

so anyways what we can deduct from this sequence is that:

- this entire quest is most likely a memory, not a dream. black swan deals with memories and it could be possible that she had some slight changes done to it and passed it off as a dream. maybe. and this would mean that it's a real event, that happened before the jarilo-VI story

- consequently, before that sampo and sparkle were on friendly enough terms that he was willing to help her put on a show for black swan in exchange for his mask (of course, he's always willing to do something to get something in return)

so I did say I have a theory

sparkle is the reason for That One sampo eidolon, "the deeper the love the stronger the hate"

she's the only character so far that we are SURE he dislikes, and that's something knowing he doesn't admit that stuff so openly. source: listen to his lines about other characters, he always masks any kind of negative emotion about other people yet tells giovanni that if it were for him, he'd never see her again (still said in a polite way)

so the "hate" he feels, that he still masks by smiling even though his eyes are devoid of any light, as of right now can only be towards sparkle

I believe she betrayed him somehow and maybe doesn't fully realize that

she's childish, really mean, DEFINITELY cannot "read the room" in any way and I doubt she cares about other people's feelings enough, so if sampo who by nature almost does everything to hide how he truly feels about people ever felt betrayed by her, there'd be miscommunication and possibly confusion on her side and feelings of hate towards her on his side

in the main quest, before sparkle reveals herself, she mentions hearing about his deeds on jarilo-VI but doesn't seem to hold a grudge against him. she probably dislikes him as well but perhaps not as much as he does, which also leads me to think she wouldn't understand if she did anything wrong

them not talking anymore would explain why sparkle's rendition of sampo feels off and kind of out of character

this is a theory I had actually already saw circularing on here, around the time sampo and giovanni's conversation in the memory bubble got leaked. but if I'm correct it's not as discussed

sad cause it's very interesting and you know what this also means?

penacony might not be the last we see of sampo

he has so much going on behind him and this just adds to it. he doesn't speak much about his past himself, he is clearly hiding so so many things and hoyoverse wouldn't keep leaving these little crumbs of information behind if it wasn't for a greater purpose

I feel like I say this every time I talk about him and maybe I'm slowly going insane but I'm also very happy cause I want to see what my beautiful man will do in the future

thanks for reading this far if you did and sorry if this is really messy

I just wanted to let some thoughts out!

[thecountesstribe]

HOTD Ep 2x7 Spoilers and review.

So this was one of my favorite episodes this season and also one of the coolest imo.

Seasmoke being protective of Addam and looking proud he terrorized Addam into being his rider was too funny. I love that dragon 😂. Come through Addam the Loyal, all Rhaenyra had to say was she's queen and he immediately acknowledged her and bent the knee, I loved that. He's really about to become my other favorite boy.

Corlys being shook and acting like he doesn't know Addam, like sir if you don't tell the truth already. He's never gonna beat the deadbeat allegations. Although when he told him “Well done” I did whoop a little. I would've kicked his ass had I been Addam though.

Oscar Tully! That's it. That's the fuckin post. He gagged Daemon and stood on business. I love to see young kids bullying arrogant adults, he reminded me of the OG lil boss Lyanna Mormont. That's my lil nephew now.

Daemon didn't take the crown. We saw him hallucinating again, this time with the sick version of Viserys and Viserys holding the crown which he didn't take. I mean anybody with a brain could summarize that he never wanted the crown, we didn't need to spend so much time in his delusions in Harrenhal to tell us that. We certainly didn't need a scene of him feasting on his mom to tell us that, yuck. For all his faults he really was about his family. He went about it the wrong way but that's Daemon for you. His stupid self destructive ass.

We had an unnecessary scene of Alicent running about the woods after leaving King's Landing. Chile anyways. Larys is totally protecting Aegon now and he's essentially crippled atp. I fear for Baela's storyline.

Rhaena is looking for Sheepstealer. Her and Jeyne are still tussling but they waited until the final 2 episodes to give her something, Baela had no lines besides looking pretty and staring at Jace. I fuckin hate it here. Could we bully HBO AND THE WRITERS SOME MORE. WTF!!

Vermithor and SilverWing looked so cool. What did that old bum feed Vermithor though? He's big asf. SilverWing just might be the coolest looking dragon. I can't rank them anymore cause I like them all 😭. Literally my favorite thing about the episode. Like the directors cooked. The dragons are funny asf 😂😭😭😭. There were a lot of parentage reveals, I don't believe for a second Saera sired that ugly man but anyways. RhaeRhae led those people to their deaths. Rhaenyra deadass gave this big ass pep talk, she reminded me of Erwin before he led the scouts out on what would be their suicide mission except she didn't stay to see the outcome or participate in it. Vermithor saw an opportunity for a buffet and took it, Hugh claimed him. Fuckin cinema. Still gonna hate his bitchass but I can't lie that was badass. SilverWing was bullying Ulf. Why do people I hate always win sometimes?! Ulf literally failed upwards. Can't be mad at it. I mean if I was a dragon I would've done the same shit. How dare mediocre specimens come before me who is essentially the next best thing after the Gods!

We got Rhaenyra speaking High Valyrian. She had her dragon squad quit on her though and gave her a warning (foreshadowing). Her also being able to calm Vermithor, that's the Dragon Queen of her era y'all. We saw a little movement with her and her protective spoiled cat Syrax too 😍.

Not people hating on Jace now. Listen that argument has been brewing since season 1. He just finally let it out of his brooding body. I don't think many people understand the implications that argument meant. He sounded classist and maybe he was, highly doubt he is but he's being realistic and in the future he was proven right (unless they scrap the book canon). Rhaenyra paralleled Viserys in that entire scene. She really is her father's child in some ways. She did to Jace what Viserys essentially did to her. The one thing that could've upheld his ascension to the throne was him having a dragon and she essentially gave a free pass to anybody to do the same, the same thing was done to Rhaenyra when Viserys decided to marry Alicent and sire more children when he knew damn well that if he had a son, her claim to the throne would've been compromised. Jace knows he's a “bastard”, a legitimate one but a “bastard” ntl (I'm not calling him a bastard in a derogatory sense either, he isn't. Laenor claimed them as his sons and that's the end of it to me) , it shouldn't matter considering the throne is not passing from his father's side but his mother's. Sure his last name would've changed the minute he was named heir and ascended as stated by Viserys but what weight does that hold now? They briefly touched on it when he spoke to Baela about his fathers but he had always been insecure about his parentage. No he didn't call his mother a whore, he's been fighting that battle all his life, she just made it worse. In the dire situation they're in, the sacrifice had to be made but I could understand why he's angry and hurt over it again. She literally just made him illegitimate in the eyes of the realm. His anger is valid. Was his tone harsh yes, try dealing with the whispers and the jeers and everything else for the past 16 years of your entire life and seeing the same proof of what everybody else sees everyday and tell me that you wouldn't hold some kind of resentment towards it. I liked how Rhaenyra was patient with him though, just wished it wasn't as rushed as the scene felt.

The last shot of the episode was fuckin brilliant. Aemond turning his bitchass around knowing he can't handle that kinda pressure. Also Vhagar and Aemond's bond may not be as strong as it should be. She clearly does not listen to him sometimes. He's still responsible for Lucerys death IDC what y'all got to say. The episode got a 4/5 stars from me just for the dragons. I'm here for Jace, Baela, Addam and the Dragons!

Until next week guys for the finale. We're going to see Tessarion and Sheepstealer next week. I'm so excited.

[skatingbi]

When Zoro is shoved out of the gallery by Sanji, his first thought is "What the fuck" and his second is "I really said that out loud".

To be fair, Zoro isn't great with words. For one, he never thinks before he speaks 90 percent of the time. He also simply never saw a chance to compliment anyone, really. Zoro is the epitome of act first, talk later. Always has been, and probably always will be until the day he dies. Until a few seconds ago.

When Zoro noticed the cook's dual toned eyes, too many thoughts surfaced at once for him to decipher all of them. He definitely thought they were beautiful, but he didn't mean to say that sappy shit out loud. Sanji's blue eye was also nearly identical to a shade that some glaciers take on in the North Blue. He vaguely remembers other pirates talking about them here and there. He's never seen them, but if he had to guess what type of blue the ice was, he would think of the color of Sanji's eye.

Now, on the other side of the gallery, Zoro leans against the door. After the reaction he got from Sanji, he's not sure where to go from here. He didn't even mean to say that out loud either. It just... came out. Most of what Zoro says does that, but looking at Sanji in that moment made his brain short circuit, his heart stutter, and his lungs hitch. He felt something he's never put a name on before, and because of that, he didn't question it until after Sanji kicked him out.

Zoro's feelings about Sanji are complicated at best. He used to not think about it, but after this, maybe he should. He runs a hand down his face and sighs. He can feel how warm his cheeks are and knows for a fact that if anyone came in, they'd notice the embarrassingly bright blush he's sporting. So he pushes himself off the door and goes to the crow's nest to meditate, train, sleep, or something that will take his mind off of this.

Meditating doesn't work. Neither does training, or sleeping, or keeping a safe distance away from Sanji. In fact, Sanji is actively avoiding him. Has been for the past few days. That wouldn't be out of character for the blond on a normal day, but it's more frequent. Sanji actively kicks the swordsman out to do the dishes himself instead of letting him dry them like he usually does. It's fucking confusing. Zoro can understand insecurity if the main problem about this whole situation is that. He's no stranger to it. The issue, though, is that Sanji's eyes are gorgeous to him, and Sanji doesn't see it. He's just trying to understand why.

A few more days pass by like that. The crew, especially Nami and Usopp, notice. Only Nami makes it known that the crew is very much aware of the awkward shift in Zoro and Sanji's dynamic. It's made especially clear when Nami corners Zoro while he's about to fall asleep on the deck.

"Alright, spill the beans." Nami demands with her hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised. Zoro only opens one eye to acknowledge the redhead in front of him, who's blocking the sun, and it makes Zoro mildly agitated.

"What do you want now, witch, I'm trying to sleep."

Nami rolls her eyes, "I know you're dense, but you're not stupid." She huffs a sigh and bends at the waist over Zoro to glare at him. "You and Sanji have been weirder than usual. Fighting is one thing, but ignoring each other for days is unusual, even for you two." Nami explains.

Zoro rolls his eyes. Sure, him and the shit cook haven't talked, but that's none of anyones business. Let alone Nami's. For all he knows, she could just blackmail him with the embarrassing ordeal of being known. He'd honestly rather not, thank you very much.

"Fuck off, Sanji's the one ignoring me. Let me sleep in peace." Zoro argues back and closes his eyes, resting his arms behind his head to hopefully fall asleep while he still can.

Nami groans in frustration. Okay, fine. If those two idiots want to ignore each other, then she'll let them. It's not like it's any of her business anyway. She just has a bet to win against Usopp, and she's not above changing the stakes to be in her favor. She just has to wait a little longer.

Some part of Nami suspects that Sanji is avoiding Zoro because of something deeper, more personal than just their usual fights. She's willing to bet money that their weird little spat is based on this. She doesn't have evidence. She just has a feeling, and usually, it's right. What's that saying again? Always trust a woman's intuition? With this knowledge in mind and with an ulterior motive, she leaves Zoro alone to have a gay crisis in peace.

What Sanji and Zoro don't know, though, is that she already knows Sanji has heterochromia, and she also doesn't give a shit. She noticed when sanji was too drunk in skypiea while dancing with the wolves, and to be honest, she's surprised no one else even noticed. This knowledge has led her to believing that Zoro said some stupid shit about it. Go figure.

Zoro goes back to trying to sleep. Behind closed eyelids, he can still see a pretty icy blue eye hidden by long blond hair. He wants to see that again. Directly after that thought, though, Zoro suddenly has an epiphany. An almost life changing realization that will most likely fuck him over in the near future. It's laughable how he's never realized it given the past few days.

Zoro likes him.

Sanji and Zoro, for lack of a better word, dance around each other for the next few days. If someone asked Sanji why didnt they just go back to how they normally did things, he couldn't answer them. He can't answer them because he knows that the real issue isn't his eyes. It's what they mean to him.

Sanji is a sentimental man. All of the things people have given him are kept one way or another. He has a drawer in his kitchen for the small trinkets or rocks Luffy finds. He still has that dial Usopp let him keep. He keeps recipe books given to him by Robin on the counter away from the sink. He even kept Nami's hairtie despite nearly snapping it the other day.

There are other things he's kept, too. Franky's things aren't really trinkets, but that doesn't mean they aren't important to him. Franky once gave him a gag gift of matching sunglasses, and he refuses to wear them. They're still tucked into one of the drawers in the dresser next to his bunk. Chopper and him share spices since they're multi use, and it means a lot to him to have his safe space also be useful for others in the crew. He loves being given things, no matter how small they may be.

When his mother died, the first thing he wanted to do was gouge out his eye. When he thinks back on it, the only reason why he couldn't is because he was scared. What small 10 year old wouldn't be? Now, although he loves his eyes deep down, he still runs away by hiding them. It's a gift that he hates, but deep down cherishes like it'll get stolen from his grasp one day.

He's aware that he processes grief by running away until it catches him on a warm, sunny day. Lately, that's exactly what it's done. Grief is hunting him, and he's the deer being shot in the leg so he's unable to run. Refusing to look into a mirror does nothing to stop it.

So, yeah, Sanji is ignoring Zoro. He knows why he's ignoring the moss ball. That doesn't mean Zoro will let him, and he's pretty sure the swordsman is going to corner him eventually. Sanji just needs to stall for time.

But that's not the only reason why he's avoiding him.

"Marimo, I swear to god, if you don't get out of my kitchen, I'm gonna shove my foot up your ass!" Sanji is not in the mood for this. Zoro knows Sanji is not in the mood for this. Will this stop Zoro from getting in the cook's business? Absolutely not.

"I'd like to see you try, curly brow, now shut the hell up and let me dry the goddamn dishes." Zoro huffs as he pushes Sanji out of the way with his hip. Sanji delivers a swift kick to his leg as retaliation.

"Fuck you I can do it myself!"

"Well fuck you because I'm gonna do it anyways!"

"Gods, why are you so insufferable!?"

Now, here they are, with Sanji being forced to let Zoro dry the dishes while he washes them. Sanji keeps a reasonable distance away with a cigarette in his mouth, exhaling smoke through his nose occasionally. Zoro tries (and fails) to not let his eyes wander to Sanji. The cook's eyebrows are scrunched, and his mouth is downturned. The cigarette hangs loosely from his lips as he silently works.

Once Zoro actually realized a few weeks ago he liked Sanji in a (probably) romantic way in some form, it was hard for him to not stare. Zoro never felt attraction to someone like that. He's definitely thought some people were handsome, but that's about as far as it went. Looking back, Zoro thinks that maybe he always thought Sanji was good looking. The swordsman couldn't help but look at all the things that made Sanji his own unique person, handsome, and especially pretty. It's not like he would say that out loud, though. He'd rather attempt to fight Mihawk again than say all that shit out loud to anyone.

Zoro's prolonged silence makes Sanji fidget in place, leaning side to side on each foot, while he washes the last dish. After that his cigarette is nothing but the filter and he snubs it out on the ashtray nearby. To combat the nervous energy, Sanji washes his hands and uses his hip to shove Zoro so he can grab the towel he uses to dry his hands. He's earned a glare by the swordsman, "Oi, the fuck is that for, cook? You wanna fight?" Zoro challenges, and Sanji would be a fool to say no.

"Bring it on, shitty swordsman!"

On the deck of the sunny and in the middle of their routine fights, another tragic incident has occurred: Sanji's hair is in his way. Not only that, but Zoro decides to take advantage of it. The blond isn't sure what Zoro gets out of wanting to see something that Sanji would rather keep hidden, but he'll be damned if he lets Zoro win.

Zoro, the conniving bastard, keeps getting into his blind spot. Or at least trying to because Sanji knows better, and he's sailed with Zoro long enough to recognize the little hints when he fights. Zoro's right foot shifts to his left, but his arm holding wado twists minutely, and it's barely noticeable, except Sanji knows he can block this with a kick.

Zoro uses the blunt edge of his sword to strike, and it lands on Sanji's left shin, raised high enough for him to take advantage of his flexibility. Sanji looks into Zoro's eyes with a challenge, and Zoro grins. Not the scary one he reserves for their enemies, though. There's a subtle crinkle on the corners of his eyes and this smile feels genuine. Were those dimples? He never noticed those before.

Huh. Thats new.

Wait. Why is Zoro looking at him like that? Like he's exciting and interesting? That's the only time Zoro smiles like that: when something is worthy to devote his full attention to. It does something to Sanji. It's the same feeling he had when Zoro told him his eyes were beautiful. Sanji's footing falters, and he nearly stumbles gracelessly to land on two feet. Zoro huffs out a sound suspiciously like a laugh and takes a step closer, sheathing his sword in the process.

Sanji takes a step back, but Zoro is zeroed in on a mission he's determined to complete. He slowly walks forward until their faces are inches away, and he raises his hand slowly.

The blond holds his breath, not moving and looking right at Zoro. Like tunnel vision only on the hawklike golden eyes before him. That feeling is back, too, and it's stronger with how close they are suddenly. Sanji wonders if the rest of the crew are out on the deck as well, but the only thing he can hear is Zoro's labored breathing from their fight and the way the wind makes his earrings hit together. A soft melody of chimes and ocean waves.

He needs to get his shit together.

"Get the fuck out of my face, Moss." Sanji orders through gritted teeth. He could back away, kick the swordsman like he usually does, but his feet feel like theyre nailed to the floor. Zoro doesnt move. Neither does he.

Well, his legs dont move. His hand does. Zoro's scarred knuckles show a gentleness that almost makes Sanji shiver. A tall, muscular, scarred swordsman capable of displaying softness similar to somebody holding priceless art made of glass. That's how Zoro brushes his hair away from the cook's face oh so slowly, dragging it out and tempting Sanji to either kick the shit out of the man or do something he might regret. He almost wants to lean into the touch and relish in it. He's never felt gentleness like this before, and it terrifies him deep down where the subject of his trauma lies.

Zoro takes in Sanji. His skin is somehow still pale despite the days in the harsh sun, the only evidence being the freckles decorating his hooked nose, cheeks, and part of his forehead. What Zoro cares about the most, though, is his eyes. Finally, at the risk of displaying a side of him he never thought he had, he can take in the pretty brown and blue eyes that he's thought of for the past few weeks. He doesn't miss the uncertainty the cook displays through the confused arch in his dark curly brows and parted lips.

There's a lot of silence, which is uncharacteristic of them. They've never gone so long without talking before unless one of them was in a coma. Sanji's just about to escape via insults and physical violence until-

"Huh, your eye is kinda like those glaciers in the North Blue." Zoro mumbles, a quiet baritone that vibrates in Sanji's chest despite the only point of contact being the back of a calloused hand on his cheek. Suddenly he feels lightheaded and warmth on his face, spreading to his ears to make them uncomfortably hot.

Sanji's face is somehow ever prettier when he's blushing, and that shocks Zoro out of his thoughts enough to pull away and attempt to make a beeline for the crow's nest. Sanji stares for one, two, three seconds, and then delivers a swift kick to the back of Zoro's knees as soon as he turns around.

"You...you fucking dumbass swordsman! You fucking pervert! Shut the fuck up or I'm gonna kick your fucking ass into the ocean!"

"Hah?! What the hell, shit cook!?"

Now what the actual fuck. Thats twice, fucking twice now that something Zoro said or did made Sanji a fucking inconsolable mess in the weirdest most cliche teenage romcom novel kind of way. What the fuck. How was this happening? Why is he so flustered, and why is it because of that brute?

Sanji always thought he was straight. Women are pretty. They're gorgeous, empathetic (most of the time), graceful, with pretty skin and soft curves. He always appreciated that in women, and he most likely will until the day he dies. Zoro isn't any of those things. He's emotionally intelligent, sure, but you couldn't get the dumbass to take his own advice even if you held him at knife point. He's not soft, he's rough around the edges, with a stern expression even in his sleep. His smile is almost always weird as fuck (except for the one he gave him recently) too. The swordsman only cares about swords and alcohol, but you could probably add rice balls to that list too. Zoro is the epitome of sharp and rugged.

In conclusion, the only similarity between Zoro and women is that Zoro has big tits somehow. No, he is definitely not focusing on that now while making dinner.

The more Sanji thinks about Zoro, though, the more he thinks back to that fucking look. When Zoro brushed his hair away from his face and admired him. He fucking admired him for gods sake. Either Sanji is high as fuck or he's having a nightmare because nobody has ever looked at him with that kind of raw emotion before, not even women he flirted with.

Okay, so maybe there's more to him than meets the eye. That doesn't mean he likes the idiot. Maybe he just needs to learn to take a compliment.

As he thinks about this, he sets the kitchen table and portions out the penne alla vodka for all of the crew members. There's a bottle of sake for Zoro, and because he's feeling... a lot, Sanji allows himself a glass of wine today. As he's deciding between a red or white wine, Luffy barges into the kitchen.

"Sanji! Is food done?!" Luffy asks, practically bouncing towards Sanji excitedly. The captain's loud voice startles Sanji out of his thoughts and he jumps slightly. He quickly saves face to look at Luffy with exasperation.

"Yes, food's done. Go get the rest of the crew- hey, don't touch that!" Sanji says while swatting away Luffy's stretched arm from Nami's bread, "That's for Nami! I gave you enough already. Go get everyone else before you decide to terrorize the place." He demands to a laughing captain whos already out the door halfway through Sanji's reprimand.

Seconds later, the crew files in. Everyone sits and begins to eat. Chatter between them fills the room, and Sanji preens at the compliments for tonight's dinner.

Everything is normal for a while, and soon everyone finishes their food. Luffy only tried to steal Zoro's food a couple of times and only succeeded once, only because the moss ball let him.

Coming much too soon is dish washing. With Zoro. Sanji's conflicted feelings regarding the man have been making him avoid the target of his confusion the days following "The Incident", as Sanji refers to it, and he's not keen on experiencing whatever the fuck is going on between them again. Only because he doesn't know if he can hold himself together if Zoro looks at him like that once more.

It's silent for a few minutes. The repetitive motions soothe him, and Sanji lets his mind wander to mundane thoughts. As he chews on the filter of an unlit cigarette, he thinks of some tasks he needs to do this week. Inventory should be done tomorrow. Ask Nami how long until the next island, and maybe he should-

Zoro clears his throat, and for a moment, he thinks it was just Zoro being Zoro. He's probably trying to annoy him. Yeah, fat chance this time. Anyways, maybe-

"Cook," and Zoro looks at him, putting the plate he just dried down and placing his hands on the counter, "Why're you hiding?" He asks, and Sanji doesn't look at him. Zoro's eyebrows angle slightly in confusion.

Zoro left that question open ended on purpose. He knows Sanji well, or at least he likes to think he does, so asking directly would just make the cook confrontational. Hell, even a vague question would, too.

"What the hell are you talking about, marimo?" Sanji scoffs. Yeah, just as Zoro figured.

"You know what, and I ain't gonna spell it out for you," Zoro leans forward, looking at Sanji even though he tries tilting his head down and away from zoro's perceptive gaze, "Cmon, curls, I need to know if I overstepped. You may be a pain in my ass but I'd never hurt you." Zoro explains, and what the fuck.

Sanji has been asking himself that a lot lately. Yet he doesn't know how to reply to Zoro. All he knows is "You...Dumbass, you make me feel. You make me feel," He whispers like they're the only ones on the ship, "And I dont like it." He finishes.

He has no clue if it's the truth. Hell, earlier today, he was having a sexuality crisis over the man before him. Neither does Zoro. They both look at each other until Zoro looks away with resignation. "Okay." He whispers back.

Sanji learns quickly that he doesn't like that look on Zoro's face.

[paperyowl]

Okay, I really need to make this into an actual story, but let me just write this idea down before I forget: Imagine Annie walking into S.W.A.T. headquarters, with all of the 20-squat (and the 50-squat) already knowing about the divorce Deacon and her are getting, but before anyone knowing about Rocker.

The team is surprised to see her - Luca even calls out a greeting which she ignores completely - and even more surprised when she walks right past them and up to Rocker, who's working on a screen in the corner - he turns to her when he sees her approach, not saying anything.

When Annie gets close enough, she slaps Rocker across the face hard enough for his head to snap to the side. Shock ripples through the room, and no one moves for long moments, too stunned to do anything.

Rocker hardly even reacts, standing very still and keeping his face blank even as he looks back at her. That only makes her angry - she moves as if to slap him again, but Deacon catches her wrist with a furious glance - he all but drags her to the break room.

He kind of hears Rocker respond to Luca behind him, "It's all good. I'm going to get cleaned up", but the flat tone makes Deacon's heart clench and something furious roars in his chest.

Annie stumbles behind him. He only lets Annie go when the door closes behind them. Annie has tears in her eyes.

"Him?" she asks, voice small. "Why him?"

And Deacon has so many responses for that, but all he can think about is how she just went and assaulted Rocker, how they are both so far off the rails now - and when did this happen?

He still loves her. He does.

But this.

"Leave him out of this."

"How can I, when-"

"Annie, "the shape of her name was sharp in his mouth. Cutting. "Do you understand what you just did? "

"I slapped the man who-"

"You attacked an officer. "

Annie stilled for a moment. "I didn't. "

"Yes, you did. Do you understand that he can get you arrested for that? "

She splutters, and then her face does something complicated—and Annie is just so hurt after everything, and maybe Deacon should have tried harder. Except he'd tried so hard—for so long—Rocker hadn't been the reason for his decision—not by a long shot.

But he's all the reason that Deacon aches now, and he desperately needs to check on him.

"Stay here. Please, "Deacon pleads with Annie. "I'll be right back. "

And there is love between them still because Annie nodded and looked almost ashamed about the whole thing. She apologizes, and even if it means nothing to Deacon right then, he nods (if she's slapped him, that would have been understandable- but Rocker doesn't deserve this.)

When he walks out, Deacon passes Hondo but no one else, and thank god for that everyone else is back at work. Hondo points him down the hall to the bathroom in the back. Deacon thanks him and goes before Hondo can say anything else - but Deacon is sure he hasn't heard the last of that.

When he steps into the bathroom, Rocker looks up, meeting Deacon's eyes in the mirror. Deacon can't read the first expression on his face, but it melts away too quickly for him to focus on it.

What he can focus on is the way that Rocker looks: His cheek is red, and there is a line of split skin just below his eye like a nail had caught him. When Rocker spits into the sink, it is bloody. That fact startles Deacon, but it's not a lot - it's more spit than blood, even if there should be none at all.

"Oh good, "Luca says - because they wouldn't leave Rocker alone, so Luca followed him - leaning against the wall. Descon jumps a little. He hadn't even seen him there.

"Will you finally leave now?" Rocker snarks at Luca - but Luca barely acknowledges his tone.

"Higgs told him to get cleaned up and go home, "Luca tells Deacon. "Hondo told me to let you know you're off for the rest of the day, too. So unless Rocker wants to put in a formal complaint-"

"oh my god, how often do I have to say it? I won't, " Rocker gripes. "and don't talk about me like I'm not right here."

"I wouldn't if you would actually talk to me," Luca tells him, and towards Descon, he says: "Where's Annie? I'll take her home if you take care of this one. "

"I'm fine-"

"Break room. I will. Thank you, Luca. "

Luca nods and pats Descons shoulder on his way out.

"Did you tell him? "Rocker asks when Luca is out of earshot. There is such tension between them now because this is not a great situation for either of them.

"No. But he's Swat, he can connect the dots. "

Rocker breathes and spits into the sink again.

"Are you-"

"Bit my cheek. I'm fine." and after a beat, "She didn't get my eyes or anything. Didn't even hit that hard."

Deacon is certain that Rocker doesn't notice what his words just gave away, what they implied. But he wasn't going to comment on it right then.

Deacon moves to cross the distance between them. When he put a hand on Rocker's shoulder, he tensed him.

"Let me get you cleaned up. I'll take you home. "

Rocker shakes his head.

"‚No' to getting cleaned up? Or to go home? Or both? "

There is a moment of silence - and then Rocker finally turns, looking at Deacon. There is something in his eyes that makes Deacon feel cold all over. But he can't quite understand it.

"Can you leave?" Rocker asks, voice thin. "I'm really okay. I need a minute."

(Because, really, how does Rocker explain this to anyone?)

He doesn't sound okay.

Deacon hesitates by the door. Rocker sighs. And it is funny because it seems that for all his closed-mouth approach to so many things in his life, everything hidden behind that boisterous exterior, it is actually Rocker who found the compromise for them here.

(An awful compromise, but still, he isn't sending Deacon away for good, only for the moment.)

"Give me two hours to get my second briefed, go home and take a shower. Come over sometime after 5?"

"I'll be there at 5."

"Yeah, alright."

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

Looong rant about chapter 16 Ptolemy's Gate and how being passive can add to the cycle of ab*se.

oof so I just read when Nat goes to see Ms Lutyens and I can't help but be absolutely furious at her??

I know that's maybe a little bit unfair given she's frightened of him as a magician and is obviously angry when she finds out the department he's responsible for, but honestly it kinda brings up the problem with inadvertent bystanders to child ab*se in my mind.

And I'm definitely not blaming her solely for who Nat becomes but it makes me think of all those people in huge child ab*se cases who give interviews to press about all the things they noticed that were wrong but they just...never do anything?

She stood up for him against Lovelace, and when Nat thanked her- "I wanted to say that I know you were trying to save me, and-"

''Yes, and I'm sorry I didn't" Like girl be for real did you really think that alone would undo the years of indoctrination and abuse he's already suffered and prevent years worth of the same in the years to come? And she won't take responsibility - "My job is with children, not the adults they become" and again while it seems harsh to blame her for who Nat becomes, it's so much easier to pass the blame to people who are more directly responsible rather than acknowledging you also play a part.

I think it hurts so much more because it's her specifically- Nat goes to her in sheer desperation, it almost seems like a goodbye- he wants to thank her, tries to set her up in a job that will pay well and struggles to communicate he's trying to help. At this point he thinks Bartimaeus has been summoned by another magician and his birth name will be revealed. He's sure he's about to die and if not he'll be stood on trial and lose everything.

He goes to her because she represents the peaceful moments from his childhood when he got away from his master. He's scared and feeling lost and really it's call for help; but he doesn't ask for anything he just wants to make her feel proud of him- he's looking for that validation that he's been chasing since childhood.

And that shows he still does have that little bit of childhood innocence in him; he thinks she will be proud, thinks she'll see him as the same little boy in the garden gazing up at his teacher in adoration. He can't quite grasp why she's separated the man stood before her from that little boy. Because in that moment the child inside Nathaniel is seeking comfort AND THAT'S WHY it makes me so angry. She's completely given up on him when he's at his lowest ebb, because she doesn't want to be associated with the magician he's become. As if it isn't a massive step in the right direction that he saught her out in the first place- what other magican would bother? I wonder if that's why she reacted so strongly to seeing him again? Before that moment she could go about her life wondering if /pretending her attempt to protect him was enough, and now she realises it wasn't, of course it wasn't, and the image she had of Nathaniel's childhood innocence is completely ruined in her mind.

Or was her contempt for him even grater than Nat realised? She was naturally disgusted by the rhetoric he'd started to repeat from a young age, and gently tried to correct him although she was clearly angry- was she just resigned to the fact that there is little else she could do to change his future? I always thought- couldn't she have looked for him? The Underwood house fire was in the papers and they mentioned the apprentice was being searched for. Did she ever worry about him? Surely something must have been in the papers since- an announcement of new ministers, ANYTHING! Look at how much research Kitty did to find out about Bartimaeus and Ptolemy. I just don't think Rosanna Lutyens cared enough, realistically Nathaniel wasn't hard to find- but he was no longer her responsibility so she could turn a blind eye.

And sadly it's not just her- I know everyone loves Martha Underwood including Nat; but I think her submissiveness to her husband has a negative effect on Nathaniel as well. In AOS when Nat is locked in his room for ages after setting the mites loose, and is forbidden to have any contact with anyone and she won't talk with him. I know she's been told by Mr. Underwood she can't, but it still boils my blood. She's an adult and going along with ignoring Nathaniel because her husband told her to...I can't even begin to imagine the psychological damage that would do to a 10 year old child. (It could be argued she's frightened of the consequences if her husband finds out she's disobeyed him which is fair, he could always be watching through magic- but this is Arthur Underwood we're talking about. He's lazy, oblivious and weak I doubt he'd expend all that energy each day to check up on her.)

And It's even more painful that Nathaniel is often described as fiercely loyal to her and I think to Ms Lutyens as well- he doesn't expect to be treated well by Arthur Underwood but he loved Mrs Underwood and Ms Lutyens so much he started to view them through a rose-coloured lense. He never feels betrayed by either of them, even though they absolutely let him down, because the pedestal he's put them on is too high AND THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS ME.

Would things with Nathaniel have been any different if Mrs Underwood hadn't died? I don't really think so. Do you think she'd see Nathaniel's temper at 14 years old and be reminded of Arthur Underwood? He was awful, absolutely awful to Nat and to her; but he was under so much stress in an underfunded departement, where pressure was being put on him by superiors to accomplish far more than they knew him to be capable of, and he took it out on the easiest target. Nathaniel ends up in exactly the same place and he starts to take it out on the only person around him- Bartimaeus. Would he snap at Mrs Underwood all the time if she were still there? Because he's learnt that behaviour from his father figure, and subconsciously learnt from his mother figure that she'll put up with it. He learnt from the woman he loved so deeply, that if you don't resist, people will walk all over you. So you have to maintain control even if it ends up hurting people you care about because no one will step in to stop the suffering no matter how much you love them, no matter how much you want them too.

It's easy to blame Arthur Underwood and Simon Lovelace and the magicians that actively hurt Nathaniel but I just feel like it's a bit disingenuous not to acknowledge the role of those doing passive harm. It's really mean to say it but even Bartimaeus plays a role- he knows Nat is clinging on to him because he can't 'bring himself to break this last connection' (to his childhood) but instead of bringing it up properly he 'taunts' Nathaniel- a boy who has been taunted for his weakness by his master for years. And even in AOS when Nathaniel tells Bartimaeus he was beaten for the mites incident Bart just kinda shrugs it off. Like I get it, why should Bartimaeus do anything, he's suffered way worse due to the system so he doesn't owe Nat anything right? But from Nat's point of view this is the first and only time he's mentioned to anyone what has happened to him and nothing changes. It's like another lesson learnt: telling someone about it doesn't help. Another nail in the coffin.

And I like all these characters, I feel bad for them. They're all victims of the system, I think the chapter with Ms Lutyens is just the straw that broke the camel's back for me. All of those little opportunities that are insignificant to the narrative over all; the commoners have it worse, Nathaniel is in a privileged position in society, exerting control over others. He's very morally grey, crossing over into objectively bad person territory but I love him with my whole heart and all of those insignificant moments would have been massive to him whether he was conscious of it or not.

And it goes all the way back to the beginning with Nat's parents giving him up to the magicians at 5 years old. I can't get the image of that little boy sat crying all alone in the government building. And he's not going somewhere safer, or somewhere he'll be happier and more loved. Giving your child over to a total stranger, oh he'll be totally fine won't he? He'll grow up to be a magician and far richer than you'll ever be, he'll be happy and comfortable and be grateful he got to grow up in luxury. There's no way a stranger you've never met, who the majority of society is terrified of would ever hurt a vulnerable little kid right? And if they do? Well you aren't responsible anymore, how could you know? What could you possibly do against the magician taking care of him?

Every little thing is another grain of sand tipping the scale. Did anyone else have to analyse An Inspector Calls in school? It feels like that to me- those BIG moments and all the little moments in between that add onto the pile.

And it goes on to cause problems in wider society too- ab*se is so normalised to the magicians, they casually ask Underwood if he hits Nathaniel like it's nothing. Because to them it is nothing, they've all grown up in the same circumstances and are repeating what they've learnt as children. I can't help but feel a little sorry for them all, especially when they aren't looked at through the black and white lense of 'argh these people are the evil arseholes look at how they treat everyone around them, screw these guys.' When we see those little glimpses of humanity like Simon's anxiety with the amulet; looking to his master and father figure Schyler for reassurance, and what's sad is that Nat is "reminded...of his own master's cold impatience" It's clear Simon looks up to his master, wants to make him proud and loves him. But it seems like Schyler has just trained Simon up so he can get power through him later on. I love the little hints of similarities between Simon and Nathaniel; the anxious mannerisms like fiddling with his hair that Nathaniel starts to develop, the way their master's talk to them. Even though they're actively working against each other in AOS and Simon is placed firmly in the baddies category and Nat in the goodies category at this point in the series; these things always hinted to me they had similar childhoods, how was Simon treated? When he had the imp beat Nat into unconsciousness, was it because he'd had the same punishment used against him? Did he know the magicians in the room would do nothing to stop him because no one stopped it from happening to him? Did he ever have a teacher stand up for him only for it to change nothing in the end because all the negative influences were so much stronger? Is the reason he loves Schyler like a dad because he's almost developed Stockholm syndrome? It looks like love because he's never known anything else.

And Arthur Underwood- who doesn't think his upbringing, and being taken away from his family ever did him any harm- doesn't realise the harm done is that he doesn't even know another way of raising Nathaniel, because he was never shown another way. His childhood may also have been filled with people who hurt him and the people that didn't do enough to intervene.

There are so many psychology studies that show children copy everything they see the adults in their life doing. Nathaniel copies the magicians behaviour towards spirits and on a subconscious level I think he copies all the submissive people in his life. How many times does he end up upset and frustrated with the fact he seems to be going nowhere and how many times does he just hope things will be different rather than taking postive action.

I dislike the actions the magicians end up taking but I also find them fascinating to analyse. I tend to prefer villains in media because they're usually slightly more complex individuals and I love to think about how they ended up that way. They can all be seen as victims of their circumstances in a way, despite all the power and privilege they have had terrible and traumatic childhoods, and if the commoners had no valuable worldy possessions at least they had a sense of togetherness; of love and understanding and selflessness. I wonder if the magicians hated them at least partly because of that. Because out in the sea of faces of the commoners talking about nothing important, doing nothing great and noble- could be the parents that abandoned them. And when your life is on the line daily because of working with spirits, and your colleagues want to stab you in the back, sometimes not being responsible for anything important looks good. But you can't leave your life as a magician, it would be too difficult; you have nowhere to go, no real friends, no one who really loves you. So it's better to stay and be a submissive bystander in your own life because it's so much easier.

Doing nothing is doing something- being passive can be just as harmful.

[hollisterhunni]

TW: ab*rtion, misc*rriages, SA, Jimmy 

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS BELOW!!

-Jimmy doesn’t acknowledge the fact that he forced himself on Anya. (Obviously, I know.) In fact, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to believe that he thinks that she was obligated to do so. -I noticed that we don’t see Anya’s baby developing or being mentioned after the crash, which lead me to three possibilities as to why:  1. The developers didn't have enough time or didn't think it was necessary to create a model of a developing Anya, since it could spoil the game. (HIGHLY LIKELY) 2. Anya may have lost the baby (had a miscarriage) when Juicy Juice disengaged autopilot and crashed the ship. OR had a miscarriage due to lack of sleep and undernourishment from limited rations. 3. Or Jimmy refuses to acknowledge the pregnancy that HE caused, because that would result in taking responsibility, so in his eyes, there IS no baby. Keep in mind that we're seeing everything through Jimmy's perspective after the crash, so some events and things are warped and perverted to fit HIS beliefs. -Yep. Jimmy might've had a warped obsession with Curly. (That's it. It's pretty self-explanatory if you play the game and really analyze their interactions. If you want me to expand on this idea, let me know! (*^‿^*) -Swansea to Daisuke: You looking to get impaled, electrocuted, and cooked?! .....If only you knew. -Jimmy wasn't genuinely attracted to Anya--romantically or sexually. We don't even see signs of him showing interest in her. I believe he coerced Anya to regain a sense of power he lacked greatly in the presence of Curly.

-I. DON'T. SEE. ENOUGH. PEOPLE. TALKING. ABOUT. THESE. PO-LI-CIES!! Less than five hours of sleep. Medical expenses will be docked from your credits. Reports of poor team synergy will be docked. You are responsible for you and the team's safety! These are the reasons WHY we have a game in the first place AND why Jimmy got away with it all! Pony Express' policies PROTECTED people like Jimmy! No wonder why he felt so comfortable doing what he did! And the dialogue from Jimmy to Curly before he crashed the ship. "You said it yourself. The ship, The crew. It's all your responsibility!" He knew. If the incident got to Pony Express, everyone--including Curly--would get penalized! - Daisuke's Parents. Lawsuit and/or Search Team? I understand that Tulpar was intended to still be on track for the next eight months. But I'd think when the Tulpar didn't return after the full eight months passed (counting the months that passed after the crash), Daisuke's parents understandably made an uproar about their son not coming home and ordered for Pony Express to find them--OR they'll get sued. (Resulting in Curly possibly getting rescued! ╰(▔∀▔)╯)   - “We’ll have a rad story to tell though! They might even write articles about us. We can be on TV!” Daisuke could make a grown man cry—this is an indicator of his painfully strong naivety and optimism despite the obviously dire situation of crashing in the middle of space without any contact. He doesn’t TRULY understand the situation! 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。 - During Chapter 10, before Jimmy Neutron (actually no, I'm not gonna do Jimmy Neutron dirty like that) Jangles "captured" Swansea and murdered him, we could see his hands tied behind the chair. But AFTER the graveyard sequence, Swansea's hands were freed and resting in his lap which makes me think-- MAYBE that sequence didn't go down how it was told.. Think about it. His posture in the chair. Some of the dialogue in his final words, "I've got nothing to hide. I'm ready to face the music." Swansea realized that chasing Jimmy wouldn't change what happened so he sat and waited for him in the main room. It just doesn't seem like someone who has been captured. It sounds like someone who recognized their wrongdoings and is now taking responsibility.(SOMEONE should've been taking notes--) - Anya is actually the most valuable member of the crew. The MVP. The badass. THE bad bitch. (You get the gist...XD) How in the hell did she manage to keep Curly alive with limited medical supplies when he's practically a vegetable? That's a nurse who not only knows her craft, but can apply it in creative, helpful ways. And she's extremely knowledgeable. At one point, Anya informed the crew that mouthwash wouldn't work as a disinfectant. And guess what Jingleballs DID?!

He used it to disinfect Daisuke's wounds, making them WORSE! (And he had the audacity to imply that Anya wasn't competent enough.)

Anya was the crew member that kept everyone together with her skills and knowledge. But we don't see that. Why? Because of Jimmy's sorry ass. All in all...  

[pandorasprongs]

CHAPTER FOUR | come home to my heart.

'it's nice to have a friend' fic masterlist + playlist | previous chapter

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

SUMMARY: jamie tries to get reader to forgive him.

WARNINGS: language

A/N: hello! sorry for such a long wait, i've been on vacation. i also haven't been able to proofread huhu but hopefully the interlude prepped ya'll for this moment because a good chunk of this one is from jamie's pov! don't have much to say because i don't want to spoil much hehe but enjoy jamie's comeback!

Losing Jamie for a second time felt the exact same: like absolute shit. Except this time, you were an adult and couldn't sulk in your room all day. So for the next few weeks, — aside from said crying sessions — you've been dragging yourself to all of your lectures and powering through office hours as if nothing happened.

You already told Liv about it the morning after, and after seeing your bloated face and the fact that you had a massive hangover, she decided to withhold her 'I told you so' speech, much to your relief. 

It was unraveling the exact same way as last time and the cherry on top was the fact that Jamie wasn't reaching out in any way, shape, or fucking form. No texts, calls, or anything. 

Every now and then, you'd think about reaching out yourself. It was you who yelled at him that night and told him to leave, but you would shake your head every time. No, if Jamie really wanted to preserve your relationship, he would have to be the one to reach out. You got to say your piece and that's it.

And maybe you were being a little petty, taking down all your photos with him from the shelf and stuffing them in a box with all the tokens from Jamie that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw away, but at least it stopped you from nearly breaking down every time you passed your hallway.

Jamie wasn't taking it so well either, despite what you assumed.

After that night, he had this sinking feeling in him. He knew he fucked up, — ghosting you and treating you like a complete stranger at the pub in front of his teammates, — but it hurt even more hearing you shout and tell him how badly it fucked you up.

To this day, he doesn't know why he did it, really. Maybe it was the fact that he felt guilty for never talking to you after you left. Or maybe you were right; he cared too much about what his teammates thought that he ended up hurting you in the process. But no matter the reason, he ruined one of his most important relationships that night.

So what was he going to do? What he always did. Ignore it. Focus on the season, despite the fact that Richmond has been on a losing streak since the West Ham game. While Jamie might be off his game because of you, he wasn't going to acknowledge that. Just bury it and hope it disappears.

It wasn't until after the fifth match in the losing streak that he got a message from an unknown number he was forced to confront it. 

Hi Jamie. I'm Liv. I'm not sure if (Y/N)'s mentioned me, but I'm one of her friends and I got your number from her phone. I was hoping to talk to you soon when you're free.

So now, he was sitting in a white office like he was waiting for some test results. It didn't help that the person sitting in front of him was in a lab coat, either.

"Sorry, I know it's weird we had to do this in an office." Liv started and Jamie straightened up in the chair. "I thought you'd want somewhere private to talk."

"Right."

"Yeah, so you're probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you. Uhm, (Y/N)'s been a little off recently. She told me about what happened, which I honestly saw from a mile away, but that's not the point." Liv sighs before continuing. "The last time this happened, back in uni, she practically quarantined herself in her room till her parents came and picked her up. She barely ate, and barely talked to anyone. It was terrible. And I can tell that she's on the way to that again."

Jamie's eyes widened, filled with guilt once again, but he said nothing.

Something about his reaction just triggered something in Liv. "Right, so I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but what the fuck are you doing, man?" The footballer moved back in his chair, but Liv wasn't dismayed. "Why haven't you called her? Or even texted or something."

"I," Jamie's completely at a loss for words. "I thought that she didn't want to talk."

"What gave you that idea?"

"She told me to leave that night so harshly, so I thought..." Jamie trails off, realizing how terrible that reasoning is after saying it out loud.

Liv is thinking the exact same thing, causing her to roll her eyes. "Come on, Jamie! You can't actually think she wants nothing to do with you now. She won't ever say it, but do you know how many times I've caught her checking your contact to see if you've sent anything? She misses you and seeing how shit you've been playing these past few matches, I think it's safe to assume that you miss her too."

Despite this woman being a complete stranger to Jamie, he's suddenly compelled to admit, "Just because she misses me doesn't mean that she wants me back in her life. And I don't think I should be, to be honest." She's better off without me. 

Liv's expression finally softens and she looks down at her desk before saying, "She at least deserves an apology."

—

It had been a few days since then, which Jamie had been using to think it over. He knew Liv was right; he needed to apologize. He just didn't know how. And of course, he had to talk to the most emotional man he knew.

"Jamie! What brings you here?" Ted who, despite the team losing yet another game, greeted quite cheerfully. It almost made the football player turn right back around because he wasn't sure if he was in the mood for his coach's relentless optimism.

But he knew there wasn't anyone else he could go to, seeing as you were obviously unavailable, Keeley was way swamped with her new company, and telling his mum would be indirectly telling your parents too. He shuts the door behind him and moves to Ted's side of the office. "Right, um, I was hoping to talk to you about something."

His coach seems to pick up on Jamie's uneasy demeanor and leans forward with a sympathetic look on his face. "What's up, buttercup? Should I gather the diamond dogs for this?"

Jamie, recalling the name that the coaches and Higgins called themselves, was quick to reject the idea. "No, no, I'd rather not have them find out about this. Uhm, look, I know I haven't been doing my best recently,—"

"Oh, we'll get a win soon bud, don't worry." Ted is quick to reassure the player and while Jamie appreciates it, he shakes his head.

"No, I know, but that's not it." Jamie takes a deep breath before continuing. "It's just, I've been a bit distracted recently."

"Is this about a girl perhaps?"

"No," though Jamie thinks about it for a second. “Yes, but no?" Seeing the slight look of confusion on his coach's face, he explains, "A while back, I reconnected with an old friend. She was my best friend actually, back in Manchester. We didn't exactly end on the best of terms and it was my fault. But when we met again, she told me that I didn't need to apologize."

Jamie continued to recount the past few months to his coach, from his blind date to the Bones & Honey incident, along with what he did to you in the pub all those years ago. 

"So now, I don't know what to do. Her best friend said I should apologize, but I don't really know how. I'm not really the best with these types of things." Both of them still remembered how long it took for Jamie to get the team to forgive him when he first came back.

Ted takes a second before responding, trying to figure out the best thing to say in this situation. "You know Jamie, I've always thought the simplest ways are sometimes the best ones. Overthinking things tends to complicate them more. You want to apologize right? How'd you used to do it when you were kids and you threw your little tantrums at each other?"

"Coach, I don't think bringing her chocolate is gonna work this time around." Jamie gets flashbacks to your first-ever argument as kids. Jamie accidentally ate the last slice of chocolate cake that you had unofficially saved and you stormed out and locked yourself in your room for an hour. 

All it took was Jamie sliding a bar of chocolate through the bottom of the door, explaining that he got hungry, and promising to save her a slice of cake the next time they had a party. You ended up sharing the bar with Jamie.

"Probably not. But in all the times you fought, what were the things that got her to forgive you? What did you say that made her understand your side and know that you actually were sorry for what you did? And how did you prove to her that you weren't going to do that to her again?" Maybe if Jamie thought about this advice later tonight, it'll make more sense, but right now, only one question was occupying his mind.

"D'you think she'll forgive me?" He thinks out loud.

"I honestly don't know Jamie, I don't even know who she is. But if you show her how much you care like how you're showing me right now, I'm sure things will be fine." Ted, now standing, offers a comforting pat on the back.

Without looking up, Jamie whispers, "I never meant to do this to her. To hurt her like that."

"We rarely ever mean to hurt the people we love." Ted offers.

Love. Yeah, Jamie thought, he did love you, even after all these years. Especially after all these years. What, with all the 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' bullshit.

"All we can do after is try to atone for our mistakes and hope they forgive us. And even if they don't, at least you leave knowing you tried." Jamie nods his head and thanks his coach for the advice.

As he got into his car to leave the clubhouse, he pulled out his phone. Hi, are you free tonight? I was hoping we could talk. 

He anxiously waited for your reply and started listing all the places he had to pass by before heading to your place if you even answered. But before Jamie even left the car park, you already replied, Sure.

—

Maybe you had been hoping for Jamie's message more than you thought. You were in the middle of the lecture when you got his message, so while your class passed the handouts around, you took the chance to grab your phone and reply.

So now, you were anxiously waiting in your flat, still unsure of how you were meant to feel about all this. You knew there was still anger there, but you weren't sure if exploding on him relieved that feeling or made it worse. A part of you also felt guilty for it too, for not even giving him a chance to apologize in the first place. Maybe instead of awkwardly letting him inside later, you would've been having yet another movie night together.

That's what he was going to do now right? Apologize? You didn't really press on for my details when he messaged you earlier. You just hoped that seeing him again will trigger the right response to whatever he had planned.

You heard the doorbell ring and suddenly, it felt like your heartbeat quickened. You take careful steps towards the door and after mentally preparing yourself for whatever this was going to be, turn the doorknob.

"Hi," Jamie greeted, in the most awkward way possible for a guy as confident as he could. You notice him holding a box of LEGO flowers under his left arm and a pack of chocolate nuggets in his right hand.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, you jokingly ask, "Is your apology just going to be flowers and chocolate?" though it may have come across as harsher than you intended.

"No, but uh, in case you changed your mind about talking to me when you saw me, I thought this would at least get me through the door," Jamie explained and you slowly nodded your head.

"Well, you were right." You take the things from his hand and let him inside. 

You had already cleaned up the place before he came over and hidden all the messy catalogs and test papers in your room for the time being. Its current condition could honestly pass as one of those display sets in department stores.

You placed the items on your dining table before turning back to Jamie who was awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room.

You didn't want to delay this any further. "So, why'd you want to talk?"

"Right," Jamie started, still unable to look you in the eye. "I wanted to say sorry for not messaging you these past few weeks. I've just been busy and Richmond's been on a losing streak too,—"

"Is that really all you wanted to say?" Your tone was soft, but even you knew you were being blunt. You just couldn't handle the sinking feeling of anxiety in your chest anymore and while you might be rushing him, you just wanted to get this over with.

"No, it's not." Jamie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He moves towards you and starts looking at you intently. "I'm sorry. For everything. You deserved an apology and an explanation a long time ago and I can't go back in time, so I want to do it now."

He pauses for a moment, and when you realize he's waiting for you to say something, you respond, "Go ahead, Jamie."

He nods his head and almost looks like he's psyching himself up before a match. He takes another deep breath before continuing.

"I wanted to start from when I started to get distant. I never told you, but after I started at Man City, dad came back into the picture."

"He did?" Your voice was barely a whisper, and you're unsure if he even heard it because he keeps talking.

"You know how he is, right?" Of course, you did. 

Growing up, you knew the exact times his dad would be coming over. There’d be some beat up car in their driveway and if you looked out your window, Jamie’s window blinds would be down. During the early years, you’d ask your mom to call their house, but after the first time and about a ten-minute call with Georgie, she started telling you they were busy. It was only after that outlying car in their driveway disappeared that Jamie would come knocking at your door, asking to play. He'd have this air of discomfort the first few days, but you were so happy being able to see him again that you’d end up ignoring it.

"Anyway, he was on my arse that whole time. He always had something to say after every match about how I fucked up or, how shit I'd been. Even if I was just sitting on the bench, he still had something to say. It was exhausting," You could tell that Jamie was starting to get angry at the reminder of his father, and without thinking, you reach out to hold his hand. Jamie seems to relax at your touch and when he seems to have composed himself, you let go.

"He would go on about the same things. Don't be soft, it's the fucking Premier League and shit like that. I just, I wanted it to stop. And I thought that toughening up would stop him from him getting under my skin. That meant removing everything that did make me soft, vulnerable. One of those things was you, but I realized now that it was in a good way. As in, I only ever felt comfortable and safe when I was with you." Your eyes widened at his confession and you felt tears threatening to fall.

"But fuck, Dad was really in my head back then. I thought that you were making me weak. And I hated the thought of him calling me that. So I stopped picking up your calls and messages. I just blocked you out.

"But when I started to realize I was becoming a prick, I thought you'd never want to talk to me again. That you'd hate me and it wasn't worth trying to get you to forgive me. Plus, Mum always had great stories about you, so I thought you were better off without me. I guess that's why I was such a prick back in the pub, pretending I didn’t know you. Might as well lean into it if I already lost you." At this point, you were resisting the urge to envelop Jamie in a hug and never let go, but you knew he wanted to finish his piece.

"And I know that it doesn't change the fact that it was a shitty way to treat someone I loved, but it's the best explanation I can give you. I really am sorry." Jamie held your eyes, emphasizing how genuine he was being. Someone I loved, did he really just say that? But he starts again before you can even consider what that meant.

"And, I really am trying to be better. I want to be worthy of staying in your life, if you'll let me. This time, I promise I'll never leave you like that ever again."

You were processing his words and couldn't answer immediately, so Jamie added, "And if you decide that you don't want anything to do with me, then you'll never have to see me again. But I promise to keep trying to be better even then."

You continued to stay silent and Jamie took that as your answer. "Right, so that's all I had to say, so I'll be out of—"

You wrap your arms around him, stopping him mid-sentence. The footballer is slow to reciprocate it, but when he does, you're transported back in time. It feels like you're eight again, and Jamie's football team just won the finals. It feels like you're fifteen again, and you've made up during a midnight run to the grocery after a stupid argument. It feels like you're seventeen again, saying goodbye to the only boy you've ever loved.

"I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you yet, Jamie. To go back to how it was before." You finally answer, and if you're being honest, you don't think you ever could go back. "But I want to be able to," you whisper and you feel him relax even more in your arms. "Just, don't fuck it up and leave again. Because I'd really love to have you in my life again."

"I promise I won't." And this time, you believe him.

A/N: and there you go! the angst is over! (or is it? muahaha) some cameos from liv and ted to help snap jamie out of it :) i had written jamie's apology monologue the same time i wrote reader's angry monologue from chapter three with some slight revisions when i put them in their respective chapters, so hopefully it matches up well stay tuned for the next chapter!!

TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchickrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @skewedcherries @jamietarttdodo @meg-ro @deepdarkvelvet @taytaylala12 @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)

[aidenlydia]

I have seen that you are very open about supporting trans people and that your pronouns are they/them. How were you able to understand that you were trans? (If you are.) I've honestly felt so confused lately and don't have anyone I can ask about this. I love your ftm ghost art. I think it is amazing. I just don't know what to do or how I'll ever be able to figure out myself. Totally not your job but was curious if you had advice.

Not sure how helpful this will be, because my trans experience is deeply interlinked with my Dissociative Identity Disorder and Autism, so I'm sorry if this is a bit confusing.

What is Dissociative Identity Disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder - Terms and Definitions

Autism and Gender

The reason why I go by they/them is because we're literally multiple people. Our two Hosts Aiden and Lydia (aka the alters interacting most with the world outside of our own head) are a man and a woman. We spend all our time together, sharing a body and the control over it.

We used to go by he/she, but people would only view us as a girl because of our body, so we switched to they/them. It makes more sense and feels better to be acknowledged together instead of Aiden being left out all the damn time.

Now bear with me here.

Though Lydia is a cis women, she grew up never belonging anywhere because we're autistic, so she feels like an imposter and a fraud when trying to connect to her feminity. Most days we barely feel human at all because we've been othered all our life. But she still views herself as a woman - motherhood in particular is a big important part of her.

Aiden is a trans man, but he doesn't mind our feminine body and doesn't plan on getting surgery ever. Testosterone maybe, but even that isn't super important to him at the moment. To him knowing he's a man is enough, passing isn't a priority at all. And because all of our Littles are girls he's rather protective of their body - any kind of medical procedure would cause a lot of fear in them.

He realized he's trans because he preferred a male name for himself, short hair and male clothing. It happened very quickly because exploring gender has never been an issue for us, it's fun and simply felt comfortable.

We do have two Agender Alters, but they don't come out in our regular daily life. They don't feel like anything really, they're deeply connected to nature and just want to exist as genderless beings, so they prefer not taking control of our body. It feels peaceful not being put into a box or defined by gender expectations and whatever other bullshit the world comes up with.

In the past we used to have another trans male Host, but he was suffering deeply from gender dysphoria. He couldn't stand the sight of our body or existing in it and became very self destructive about it. Until one day he just stopped coming out and hasn't been back since.

Before I even realized I had DID, gender wasn't really a concept to me. Same with names, it just didn't make sense to me why someone couldn't just change their name if they didn't like the one their parents gave them for whatever reason. I think of people as people, not boys and girls. Sure there are physical differences, but the meanings/genderroles we attributed to them are completely made up.

Folks love nagging me about how I draw my Ghost, but the truth is he can walk around looking like a cis girl and still be a man, I truly dgaf. So what if he's smaller and more delicate looking next to that big bear of a captain, that doesn't make him any less of a man.

The best advice I can give is you don't need to label yourself if you don't want to. You can experiment and just see what feels good. Maybe you'll find a label or make a plan along the way, but don't feel pressured to.

Common things people do is try out a different name, change their pronouns, create and play as video game characters of the opposite gender/sex (or gender non-conforming in general), listen to trans playlists/musicians, shop clothes/stuff in the other section (including underwear or things like jewelry ect), read books or watch movies about different kinds of trans characters, watch video essays about trans topics, create OCs or sonas, look at trans art and watch/read about other people's trans journeys.

Of course there are "what's my gender identity" tests you can take too, idk how helpful those are but I guess they can give you a bit more insight and maybe make you ask questions that you haven't asked yourself before.

Lastly here's a list of gender identities and definitions that might be beneficial to have a look at, as well as my trans resource list I put together last month about what can be done to change your gender in various ways

[stiltonbasket]

Hi, I love all your fics and adored the one with fem!Wei Wuxian who seems even more of a chaos goblin than her canon counterpart and tries to break apart her engagement to LWJ. Could we see some more of what of what happens after LWJ moves into the Burial Mounds, perhaps how Wen Qing realizes that this man is hopelessly in love with his oblivious fiancee and maybe tries to prod them together (bonus points for LWJ being so obvious Wen Ning, Granny and the rest of the Wens notice XD).

"They need a chaperone."

"They don't need a chaperone."

"They do," Popo insists, watching with enormous eyes as Lan Wangji glides up to Wei Wuxian and offers—for what must be the eleventh time that week—to take over her chores in the vegetable field, presumably so that Wei Wuxian can spend her time improving the wards around the Burial Mounds instead. "Oh, good heavens. I'm nearly eighty years old, and I've never seen a man looking at a maiden like that."

"Be that as it may," Wen Qing says doggedly, "they have no need of a chaperone. Wei Wuxian ended their engagement before she seceded from the Jiang clan, and neither she nor Hanguang-jun chose the betrothal to begin with."

"They don't need a chaperone because Wei-guniang doesn't know that Hanguang-jun is in love with her," Wen Ning mutters, from the grimy depths of the lotus pond at Wen Qing's right. "When Lan-zongzhu visited last week, he told me that Hanguang-jun cried like a baby after Wei-guniang refused to marry him. I think she likes him, too, but she doesn't seem affected at all."

Two tiny fingers pluck at Wen Qing's skirt, and she glances down to find Wen Yuan trying to stand on her shoes, grasping a fold of her gown in one hand and a grubby stuffed tiger in the other.

"What is it, A-Yuan?" she asks. "Are you hungry? Xian-jiejie will feed you in just a little while, so be patient until the congee finishes boiling."

"A-Yuan's not hungry," the little boy says, before putting Hu-shixiong's tail in his mouth. "But, jiejie—Lan-gege loves Xian-jie very much! Gege told A-Yuan!"

At this juncture, Wen Binbin materializes at Wen Qing's right with Uncles Three through Six trailing behind her.

"How long were they engaged, Qingqing?" she asks, in a conspiratorial whisper. "We never heard much news from the other sects in Dafan—but you and A-Ning went to school with them, so you must know something."

Wen Qing sighs.

"A-Xian's parents contracted the betrothal before they passed away," she replies, "but they didn't meet until the year Lan Wangji turned eleven."

Popo clasps her hands in delight. "Were they childhood friends, then?"

"Of a sort," Wen Qing acknowledges, frowning. "I once heard someone say that Hanguang-jun started sewing toy frogs for their future children when he was only a boy, but that can't possibly be true."

She feels another soft tug at her skirt. "Qing-jiejie, A-Yuan wants a frog."

"Hanguang-jun can make you one, Yuan'er. And the part about the frogs is true," A-Ning pipes up, tossing a seed-filled lotus pod to Wen Binbin. "She had one of them with her in the dungeon at Bu Ye Tian when I went to bring medicine to the prisoners during the indoctrination camp."

"Really?" Fourth Uncle gasps. "She carried Hanguang-jun's gifts all the way to Qishan, so that they could comfort her in her time of need?"

"Zewu-jun had better be thinking of a way to have the betrothal reinstated," Wen Qing says, crossing her arms in frustration. "Why did Wei Wuxian break it in the first place? Hanguang-jun would have honored the engagement no matter how the jianghu dared to slander her."

"I suppose that's why," Wen Ning says morosely. "She's afraid that Hanguang-jun will stand by her, no matter what she does—"

"A foolish thing to be frightened of, if you ask me," Wen Binbin mutters. "There are worse things in the world than a devoted husband."

"—and that he might suffer for it. It's difficult to tell, but she loves him just as much as he loves her."

At this, A-Yuan beams like a miniature sun and toddles over to the edge of the pond.

"Really, Ning-shushu?" he asks, enchanted. "Can Jiejie have a wedding?"

"I suppose she can, if Hanguang-jun asks for her hand in marriage again."

Fifth Uncle nods and strokes his chin. "But how can he muster up the courage to ask if Wei-guniang treats him so coldly?"

"I saw her sneaking a second helping of chicken into his porridge the other day," Liu-shu mutters. "If that is a cold woman, Langdan, then I've never met a tender-hearted one."

At this juncture, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji bow to one another and go their separate ways, having reached some kind of agreement about the wards and Wei Wuxian's daily chores. Wei Wuxian gathers up the powdered cinnabar she was sunning and retreats into the cave that serves as her workshop and bedchamber; and Lan Wangji goes off to fetch the laundry from the patch of grass by the potato field, where it had been hung up to dry early that morning.

The Wens disperse as well, not wishing to be caught gossiping in broad daylight by the very subject of their discussion. Popo takes Wen Yuan back to her little house for a bath, dragging A-Ning along with her; and Wen Qing dives into her little infirmary, leaving the door open a crack so that she can eavesdrop on the would-be couple if Lan Wangji seeks A-Xian out again.

And since Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-jun could not avoid one another if their lives depended on it, Wen Qing overhears them discussing the subject of A-Yuan's education less than a quarter-shichen later.

"After all of this is over, I suspect the Wens will be sent to the Cloud Recesses," Lan Wangji says quietly. "I do not think they would be at ease living in close proximity to Jiang-zongzhu, and Xiongzhang has set aside three living compounds for them close to his Hanshi. What is more, A-Yuan would be allowed all the privileges of an inner disciple if he were educated there—and he would not have to surrender his family name, either."

"You'd take him in as an inner disciple?" Wei Wuxian's voice is both louder and more indistinct than Hanguang-jun's, somehow, floating back to Wen Qing in bits and pieces as if it had passed through a veil of thick fog on the way. "I suppose that's for Popo and the others to decide if Zewu-jun has already made the offer, but what if the other disciples mistreat him? I won't stand for it, Lan Zhan."

"He will be my ward, since his parents have passed on: so that should be sufficient to keep him safe. And if you join the Wens in Gusu, Yuan'er will have your protection as well."

A moment's silence, and then:

"Do you mean to return to Lotus Pier when the Dafan clan is granted amnesty?" Hanguang-jun inquires, sounding positively heartbroken. "I—how will they go on without you, Wei Ying? A-Yuan scarcely leaves your side now that he is beginning to forget the horror of the camps, and Wen Ning—"

"I don't intend to go back to Yunmeng," Wei Wuxian says at length, after a pause that lasted the span of about seven perilously sluggish heartbeats. "My place is with the Wens now, I think. There should be someone at the Cloud Recesses who can guard them night and day, out of love for them and not under orders from you or Lan-zongzhu; so wherever they go, I will follow."

Though Wen Qing cannot see him, the soft, stricken pitch of Hanguang-jun's voice is proof that his heart had come very near to melting.

"En, that is good," he murmurs. "It is settled, then."

And with that, the two of them depart together, their footsteps fading away down the old dirt track that leads to Sishu's favorite apple grove.

They belong together, Wen Qing thinks fondly, before turning towards the heap of dried herbs awaiting her attention on her desk. And I pray that some day soon—Heaven willing—A-Xian will realize it, as well.

[verdemoun]

i found something on tiktok that reminded me of your timewrapped arthur and maybe a lot of the gang it was someone crying over the trope “when the trope is a character born to be a weapon but no longer necessary and having to learn to be a normal person” 😈

this is the essence of timewarp. all of them had to have that painful revelation in their own time that they are not normal and it is going to take years to unlearn those 19th century survival skills

bessie's 'no guns in the house rule' originated because they are all weapons. her and annabelle weren't weapons they had to go through learning not to expect every single person they pass on the street is capable and ready to murder. it only took trying to find the callander boys to realize the fact most died with guns in their hands or at their sides is going to be an issue. first thing a disorientated gunslinger does is reach for their gun. fortunately meeting The bessie matthews face-to-face is enough for most to be star struck enough to not really react to her asking them to hand over their weapons before she starts explaining hi welcome to the future

hosea didn't fully comprehend how much he was a weapon himself. he made it to what was considered seniority as an outlaw because he thinks quick and has a faster trigger finger have you seen his quick draw?? he is not 'just' a con artist he is as much a fine tuned weapon as the rest of the gang.

while he will do anything for bessie and does thoroughly enjoy exploring modern era without the constant fear of being recognized as The hosea matthews, he really doesn't ever move on from that constant overanalysis of his surroundings. he had to live and rely on those instincts so long he can't make them go away. on some days is relieved to use keeping an eye on kieran as an excuse not to leave the house because he never learns to become a normal person in modern era

but the angst and guilt of him realizing how much the gang in general struggle with it and knowing he contributed to that. him encouraging dutch's ideals of saving people who needed saving accidentally becoming taking easily influenced young boys and men off the streets and teaching them how to survive in 19th century which meant being a weapon was necessary. watching the manifestation of a group of adult outlaws trying to survive modern era with not only their pre-existing lifetime traumas but the additional c-ptsd of veterans struggling to unlearn how easy it is for them to see a threat and want to reach for their guns, readily capable of killing another in cold blood in case they were a threat to the gang

not knowing how to help them because he doesn't even know how to help himself

bessie needing to get used to when someone knocks on the door absolutely all of them turn with that dangerous look in their eyes and the comfortable positions they had been in seconds ago now look more like a pack of crouched predators waiting for the call to attack. watching how quickly they could recover from that state becoming longer episodes of confusion wondering why they reacted like that when people knocking on the door becomes something normal

very predictably arthur is the worst because he could acknowledge he was nothing but a killer by the end. but the first time he is walking down the street having settled into modern era and notices he still has his hand hovering over his hip ready to draw for absolutely no reason is so frustrating for him.

arthur would get angry at his relapses into weapon coding. he wanted and got his out of the gang. he has more avenues of exploring his curiosity than ever before and the freedom to still go on his side quests and explore the world in an entirely new context and he still reaches for a gun.

he knows he is safe walking down the street. modern era is objectively so much safer than canon era. he is mentally trying to convince himself he feels safe but those stupid relapses wanting a gun, surveying any area he walks into for cops, the second of suspicious fear when he sees someone in a suit and wonders if they're a pinkerton, are constant reminders that he is still a weapon and he just wants to be normal so badly he feels abnormal being the way he is

[sailingfireshipz]

13x08 download ✨️

1. Violet & Ritter intro gave me the feels of those S9-10 days. Miss these two & their dynamic, more please! Also Violet & Flynn are BF/GF now? OK girl

2. Mama ahem, i mean LT. Stella in her little apron is so. 🥹👉🏽👈🏽

3. Utterly shocked, Pascal agreed to let the dog stay at the house. 🙄

4. Pascal leaving work to go home & argue with his wife.....then they just start randomly hooking up, lol? Ok, Stellarides, turn when?

5. The entire gun under the bed bit was weird, right?

6. Love the way Stella just stared at Pascal when he was lying about being at the academy. She's like ok I didn't ask all that. I just wanted to see if the dog could stay.

6a. The tone from Pascal about the training reports was just unnecessary. You see how he flipped a switch after they talked about the victim at Med?

7. Poor Novak, that call really shook her up! Violet is really leaning into being a supportive partner & friend ❤️ it.

8. The way Stella's face lit up when she tried to pass off her monthly training reports. I literally got scared that Pascal was going to find out & blow up on Stella.

9. "If it were Severide, he'd get away with a couple more weeks, but it's me, so" Stella saying the quiet parts outloud. 🙃

10. Did anyone catch what Pascal said to Monica when she mentioned Hermann was lovely? Did Monica cheat on Pascal because he seems very possessive & not in a good way.

11. Stella to Ritter "you'll know when it's right" staaawp it yall! Andrea knows what she's doing with that line.

12. Pascal & Novak. Hmmm, this scene was very interesting to me. The way Pascal said "it's hard to let people know you especially these people, it's like once you get in the fold here you may never get out" my question is what's wrong with being in a fold? Why would you want to get out if they're good people who work hard & show up for one another. 🤔

13. Stella & Violets faces when Carver said Tori moved back to Texas! LMAO felt that, ladies.

14. Stella to Ritter: "You guys are good, you're just asking for a little bit more time." oooook, but like that's totally supposed to apply to Stellaride baby as well, right? 🥹🤏🏻

15. Monica to Pascal "No more secrets, no more scorched earth all around us," & again, WHAT THE HELL happened in Miami?!!!

16. I love that Novak went to Violets. It's so nice that they show their bond outside of the house it's definitely missed & needed!

17. I'm sorry, but did I miss something? Did we see Junior in the house when Flaco died? I feel like maybe I need to go rewatch S1. 😬

Ooook, so when i first watched this episode, i was PISSED & really disappointed. I still think 13x09 would have been a better midseason finale, with 13x10 being the resolution for the midseason premiere. Ultimately, I think it set the groundwork for more insight on why Pascal doesn't want to get attached to 51. It feels like he's committed to not building bonds here & I think it has to do with whatever happened in Miami. The question is, will we ever find out?

Stella & her little moments of encouragement to Ritter really meant a lot to me. It gave me hope because it felt like they were acknowledging the baby conversation without acknowledging it if that makes sense. Stellaride is solid she just needs more time & that's fair. I'm choosing to trust this process & hold onto S12 because it was beautiful for Stellaride & Newman is partly to thank for that, so I believe S13 will give us what we want & need. Time will tell, but I'm holding onto the lines she said to Ritter about Dwayne.

As always, let me know your thoughts! Did i miss anything?

[likablemuffin]

Everyone needs Mikey hugs in their lives

(From: ROTTMNT oneshots, requested story)

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Y/n wasn't really having a good day.

Lots of bad things had happened that day that they just didn't want to talk about.

They honestly just wanted to curl up in a corner and simply pass away. Obviously, they couldn't do that because Mikey would be so freaking upset. 

Y/n sits up in their bed. 

Of course! Mikey! Why hadn't they thought of him sooner! 

He is literally the best comforter on the whole planet! He would make totally sure Y/n would feel better.

Y/n quickly got out of their bed and threw on some clothing on top of their pajamas. They grabbed their phone and went out the door.

As they entered the sewer, the smell bombarded them so hard that they almost thought of leaving and going somewhere else. But then they remembered what they were here for and decided to persevere through the horrendous smell.

When they entered the lair, they didn't see Mikey. They assumed he was most likely in his room, so they headed there.

As they expected, Mikey was in his room painting something. 

He hears Y/n enter, and he puts his paintbrush down and turns around. "Heya Y/n! Whatcha doing here?" Y/n flops down on Mikey's bed. "I don't know..." Mikey instantly senses something is up. "You don't know? Then why are you here?"

Y/n groans. "I'm not having a very good day today." Mikey gasps and instantly flops down on the bed next to them. "You're not having a good day?! Oh no! What happened?" "I don't want to talk about it, sorry." 

Mikey hums in acknowledgment. "Do you want a hug?....No, wait, scratch that, I'm giving you a hug." Y/n sits up. "Wait wh-" Before they can finish their sentence, Mikey scoops them up in a giant hug and starts giving their face tons of little kisses. "Wha!- Mikey!" Mikey doesn't stop. "You. Need. AFFECTION!!" Mikey starts tickling Y/n, to which Y/n repeatedly giggles and tries to get Mikey off of them.

"Mikey! Stop it, you silly goose!" Despite Y/n trying to get Mikey off of them, they don't really mind the tickling. Mikey eventually gives up and lets go of Y/n. "Did I make you feel any better?" Y/n smiles at him. "Yeah, a little bit."

Mikey gasps and nuzzles up against Y/n's face. "Only a little??" He gives Y/n puppy eyes. Y/n chuckles and pushes Mikey off of them. "Yes." "Aww...I was hoping to make you feel wayyyyyyy better." Y/n holds his hand. "Okay. Maybe you made me feel a lot better. How about that?" 

Mikey instantly lights up and squeezes Y/n's hand. "Woo! I made you feel better, Let's gooo!!!" Y/n scoffs. "Yep. You adorable stupid orange boy." Mikey giggles. 

Mikey and Y/n just stay in each other's presence for a while until Mikey speaks up. "Soo...what exactly happened?" Y/n freezes at the sudden speaking. "Oh...well...I dont know. Just not really feeling it today." Mikey nods and leans against them. "Well, whatever it is that made you upset, just know that no matter what, you will always be one of the coolest friends I've ever had." 

Y/n chuckles. "Isn't April your only other friend?" Mikey pouts. "She doesn't count because I think of her as my sister." 

Y/n rolls their eyes, but they don't say anything against it. "You know...you're one of my best friends too Mikey. You're sweet and kind, and caring...you're everything I want in a friend." Mikey's eyes light up brightly, and he hugs Y/n in a tight side hug. "I love you too!!" Y/n struggles to wiggle out of Mikey's grip. "Hey!- I never said I loved you!-" "Yeah, but you didn't say you didn't either!"

Y/n tries to think of a comeback but fails, so they just cross their arms (as well as they can in Mikey's grip) and huff. Mikey smirks and squeezes them tighter. "You're so cute when you're angry." "Shut up dork." Mikey giggles and nuzzles his cheek against Y/n's arm. "Stay here as long as you need okay? I'll be right here."

Y/n smiles and finally hugs Mikey back. 

"Thanks."

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