#why would anyone want to spend their lives constantly hating on someone…how miserable are these people

[holli-flower]

I feel so sad man…the way Dream gets treated by antis, former fans turned antis and just outsiders in general who don’t care but just want to participate in the hate train makes me feel so sick. I understand that not everyone is going to like Dream or has to like him, especially those who have been affected by his past actions or when he’s apologized for said actions haven’t accepted them, it’s those peoples rights who are personally affected to make that decision for themselves. But it just makes me so sad that so many people still make him out to be such a vile person when it’s so clear that he’s changed so much for the better. I guess it just makes me sad when people don’t take the time also to maybe clear up misinformation and just fully believe everything they see and hear about him to be true…he has been so fucking dehumanized, especially being faceless for so long that people still even to this day post face reveal don’t look at him like a person. I guess just coming from a place of loving and caring about him so much, being a fan of his, it’s just so hard knowing that I and so many others know just how much he pours his whole heart out to everyone and everything he does despite the fact that so many are undeserving of that sentiment and empathy, especially with how he’s been treated for so long and still continues to be for this day. But despite all of that hatred and the vile way he’s been treated he still is so loving and compassionate and takes the time to learn and listen and change, and even when people fuck him over he still gives them the benefit of the doubt and tries to patch things up and find out why and what he can do to fix things even when he shouldn’t need too. The fact that he still continues to only try and spread kindness and positivity despite so many constantly giving back the complete opposite in return, always just makes my respect and love for him grow. It just makes me so fucking sad to see him barely get that same consideration and time and kindness in return and yet he still goes on so positively and strongly…I really genuinely don’t know how he does it half the time, because with the way he’s treated and perceived and just constantly the internets punching bag just makes me so fucking sad for him. The fact that him, his family and his friends have all had their lives threatened due to this hatred…I just can’t even begin to comprehend how he does it. How he remains so big hearted and loving and kind and just so understanding. It just makes my heart hurt so bad for him like I’m crying typing this. And maybe this whole thing is kind of parasocial but god I just want to give him the biggest hug and tell him how important he is and how loved and strong and beautiful and kind he is. And I know he probably knows that he has a huge loving and supportive community who adores everything he does and just him being him, but god I wish I could just show him that times a million. For someone who has been faced so much hatred and threats and just beyond vileness and lack of empathy, you would never even know because he continues to pour his big heart into the world despite everything. It just makes me so sad. That’s why I’m so glad for those closest to him, for George and Sapnap, for the munchymc crew for his family, and that he has that closely knit support system and I just hope he knows how loved and appreciated he is.

[tdicksupreme]

Power & Giving Parts of Yourself Away

I think of power structures as this thing that you give up a piece of yourself in order to have security, social warmth, or something else you desire.

I've always been skinny, and anti-fatness doesn't affect my life. If I gained a bunch of weight permanently, I could spend my life trying to lose it, and hate that part of myself, and other parts of my life would be much easier. I could find a way to like this version of myself - I might or might not like my appearance, but maybe I appreciate how much space I naturally take up in a room, maybe I appreciate the verve and moxie fatness has (to me, anyway, I don't mean to tell anyone how to feel). And if I find a way to like this version of myself, let alone succeed doing so, other strangers might come along angry because I'm not supposed to like myself this way, I am supposed to wait until I am likable.

And if all my social circles are people who casually make fun of fatness all the time, and I am constantly subtly picked on for it, I might tell myself it's not a big deal and I'm making too much of it, I might agree with their worldview, I might assume my feelings aren't relevant on this issue.

Why am I talking about fatness when I don't have that life experience? I was thinking about experiences of friends of mine as fat people, my experiences being trans, & the parallels re: deep social conditioning that your life doesn't matter.

I know I'll want top surgery someday. I've been out for 8 years, on T for 3 years. I pass as a man in many situations. Not most, because I have long hair, and thanks to increased acceptance of trans people (in some geographical areas) I get a lot of automatic they/them-ing and awkward attempts at inclusion. This has only happened since I moved, by the way, this doesn't happen in redneck areas. (That's another topic - how I can pass "really well" as a guy in some areas and not in others, culturally). But for a long time I have resisted seeking top surgery. I want it someday, I know I might lose access to it if political changes occur, I know this is a big deal. But if that happens, I'd have to take a male name, cut my hair, dull my clothing down, and de-fag myself anyway to keep employment. I'd still be going back in the closet. And that's why I'm angry - I'm not willing to prematurely accept my own defeat yet, and I'm not willing to prematurely accept the idea that people like me are unlikable, unglamorous, not central, or not relevant.

I'm not willing to accept, in and outside of my own communities, the idea that I'm not likable and not relevant when I haven't even gotten a chance to live. And this is what I mean by power structure - when I found myself cringing at people with Pronouns and weird genders who Took Up Space, because that was not material and it's making it awkward for everyone - I was disgusted with myself, with myself as a guy, with myself as a gay man, with myself as someone who cares what people think of me to the extent that I'd make myself permanently miserable. I started introducing myself with pronouns again.

[denimbex1986]

'...One good thing about being middle-aged is that I’m regularly reminded that I’m not the first person to have any thought or feeling, even if it’s my first time having it. I was reminded of this last night while watching Vanya, a one-man adaptation of Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya by Simon Stephens and starring Andrew Scott of Sherlock and Ripley fame. After running in London, the play is coming to New York in March; I was excited about this until I learned that tickets cost over $300. But for a much more reasonable $12 I could watch the show through the National Theatre’s subscription program, something I’ve been meaning to do for a while but which the absurd price of the in-person tickets finally got me to bite the bullet on.

Uncle Vanya is about a group of people obsessed with age and happiness and whether life has passed them by and why. Vanya sticks to the plot of Chekhov’s 1897 play, though it modernizes the language and anglicizes the names. The play takes place on a country estate that once belonged to titular character Ivan’s sister Anna, who died. Now, Ivan and his niece Sonya care for the estate to support Anna’s elderly widower Alexander, here a washed-up filmmaker, who has married a much younger second wife, Helena. Ivan is attracted to Helena, as is the country doctor Michael, whom Sonya has long had a crush on. Things come to a head when Alexander declares that he wants to sell the estate and live off the proceeds, threatening to upend the miserable routines everyone’s been trapped in since Anna’s death.

Everyone in Vanya loves each other, and hates each other, and longs for change, and will do anything to keep staying stuck. Everyone is so anxious about their own happiness and curious about the happiness of others, but only insofar as how that possible happiness might reflect on their own happiness or lack thereof. Frustrated ambition is everywhere: Ivan worships Alexander’s films, despite the fact that he hasn’t made any in nearly two decades, and he also blames Alexander’s success for his own miserly life, feeling like he could have been great if only he hadn’t had to spend his life tending to the estate. Sonya has never told Michael her true feelings; when she makes the overture of a confession, Michael can barely tell what she’s talking about. Michael himself waxes lyrical about his hobby of planting trees to stave off the environmental degradation of the countryside, but the only version of him we see is one who drinks too much and constantly threatens to leave but never seems to. Everyone picks constantly at what it means to be happy, or to be talented, or to be interesting or fulfilled or old or young or pretty or plain, needing someone else to be or not be those things to justify why they are or aren’t those things. Everyone is tremendously complicated, but also so painfully simple, so earnestly full of longing for the love and fulfillment that they think they deserve but can’t have.

But “everyone” here is just Andrew Scott, who plays all the characters. It’s frankly astonishing to watch him: for a play that feels so deeply concerned with decrepitude and aging, he is inspiringly vital and alive in the roles. It’s never hard to tell who’s talking; characters are sometimes differentiated by a prop like a tennis ball or sunglasses, by playing with a necklace or twisting a dish towel, but they’re just as often portrayed by the slightest change of voice or widening of the eyes. (As jealous as I am of anyone who can afford to see the show live, the filmed version is able to focus on these subtle gestures and facial expressions in a way that would be lost in a theater.) It’s incredible that it’s never goofy to watch Scott have a conversation or fight with himself; at several points he portrays one character holding another back, or sharing an illicit kiss, and it somehow works perfectly even though it absolutely shouldn’t.

I was intrigued by the idea of the show, but I never quite got why it had to be a one-person cast. Especially with a major star at the helm, it could easily be a vanity project, or the kind of twist a revival shoehorns in to justify itself. But here, the solo cast amplifies the way Vanya’s characters are both obsessed with and ignorant of each other’s internal lives, how it feels like they’re fighting over the world’s limited amount of happiness like a game of capture the flag. You could read it, maybe, as a metaphor for our country these days, one body being torn apart by competing desires, the arm blaming the leg for why it can’t reach what it wants. You could see it, as I did in this viewing, as a symbol of how hard it is to follow our desires when we can want so many things, of not becoming bitter over our own choices, of seeing all our possibilities. Real circumstances do conspire against the play’s characters–the nature of peasant life in Chekhov’s Russia, poverty and tragedy–but they have more agency than they think, if only they’d get out of their own ways.

After Alexander brings up the idea of selling the estate, Ivan tries to shoot him; to his own amazement, he misses, twice. It’s a great bit of theatrical structure that this isn’t the end of the play; there’s another act, where everyone decides to pretend nothing happened, and Alexander and Helena go back to the city, and Ivan and Sonya get back to their work on the estate. Things could, and should, have changed, but nothing does. Near the end, Vanya gives a monologue:

Could you imagine if it was possible to completely change the way you live your life? To look at your life and ask yourself what you would do if it had ended? Your old life, it’s over. And then take what’s left of your real life and live it properly. How do I do that? Where do I start?

Through Scott as all the characters, asking himself this question, it’s a sad one–if caring for the estate has held him back all these years, he could have let Alexander sell it–but it’s also a reminder that it is possible, at any time, to overcome at least some of the barriers we put in our own ways. I can grudgingly get why Vanya is worth all that money to see, but it was a delight to get to see it for much less due to innovations in arts access that came out of covid and somehow still persist...'

[lostsoulsneverfindhome]

How do you stop feeling like an inconvenience?

I want help so bad but terrified to ask,

Feeling trapped, suffocated,

I see happiness on her face and don’t wanna ruin it

Hide away my thoughts and fears

Trying to disappear

Work to help others

But can’t seem to help myself

I help her wash and dry.

But all I seem to do is cry.

Trapped in a body I hate.

Trapped in a room as I suffocate

Drowning in thoughts I can’t stop.

Sweet release sounds so nice, but I fear of disappointing everyone

Is this what he felt? When he decided to leave us?

Was it selfish or for personal fulfillment?

All I feel is loss. Along and afraid.

I have no one to ask or anywhere to go.

Stuck in this room. Full of my disappointment.

Can’t stop spending. Can’t stop running my mouth. Can’t stop my awful thoughts.

No friends near. She’s mad at me or won’t understand.

Lost my best friend. One I held dear.

Needing to scream but my eyes already hurt so bad.

I hear her laugher in the next room, I’m glad she’s happy.

Away from my toxicity.

I can’t bring myself to tell her how I’m feeling and have been feeling.

All I want is to go in my sleep,

Not know, not feel, just disappear. As if I never were and will never remember I was.

I pray I don’t become a ghost, I don’t want to be stuck with these feelings forever. I want to dissipate.

Why can’t I like anything about myself? Why is it all hatred?

I try so hard just to reach even lower.

Try looking for new reasons to live,

A new book, a new movie, an event. But they all don’t seem to matter right now. Now they don’t feel like enough.

I don’t want anyone blaming themselves if I decide to go.

They tried

I’m just miserable. My brain eating at itself in regret.

Maybe one day I’ll get the courage. Either to never feel like this again or to finally do the act.

Im tired of not being anyone’s number one.

Im always second to soemthing.

Friends, lovers, family. All second.

I wish I could be more likable, less of a weirdo.

Not as much of an asshole. Have less mental health issues.

I want to stop finding out I have more and more disabilities. I feel like it just hurts me.

My cats don’t even seem to really like me anymore.

I miss Ty and Jynxx. Why do animals have to live such short lives? Ours feels like forever. I’m tired of forever. It’s too long.

How did John reach so long? How did he reach to 28? I still have a few years until I reach that. That seems like eternity away.

I wish I could say I was making this all up.

The closer I get to his age, the more I understand. I hate that I understand.

I miss my best friend… I’m nobody to her anymore. Why did she have to go and do that? She could have just not done that, and everything would be fine and she’d still be here, able to talk to me.

I feel so lonely, and it just keeps setting in deeper.

I miss being a child, before I became conscious. Where my only worry was what webkinz I was goona get next, how to level up in wizard101, and if I’ll find any fossils at the park.

In a hundred years, no one will know who I am. Except the slim possibility that someone does an ancestry thing.

Why do I have so little motivation?

No motivation to read.

No drive to draw.

No passion to create any art.

I have everything I could ever need, but I just CANT.

I want to so bad, but my body just doesn’t want to.

I’m tired of being me. I can’t change me.

Wonder how I could euthanize myself. That seems like the best option.

How are there people who don’t deal with this at all in their lives?

This is super long, I should probably stop.

My racing thoughts won’t though.

Constantly giving me reminders.

Useless.

Worthless.

Annoying.

Burden.

Waste.

[scottxlogan]

Rant

I’m sorry to do this, but I’ve reached a breaking point and I’ve got to unload here a bit:

At this point, I don’t even know what to say. I have a lot to get off my chest, so you are going to have to forgive me for all of this. I joined the Winteriron fandom because I used to be solely part of the scogan (scott/logan) fandom and someone turned me away from the fandom by doing some really awful things to me. I was hoping to join a fandom where I felt like I belonged, but unfortunately since joining the Winteriron fandom I have been met with a lot of harassment. Constantly, I am having someone comment on my fics and sending me death threats, saying what a loser I am, how no one likes me, commenting on how horrible of a person I am, which ultimately no matter how strong someone is really does a number to someone’s self-esteem. Not only that, but now I have people coming at me and attacking me because I had a story with a similar idea as someone else, which I have learned early on in fanfic happens—a lot. Don’t believe me? Check out the bulk of Scott/Logan fanfictions. Most of them contain this plot formula: Scott is miserable after Jean dies in X-2, Scott internalizes/takes the death bad, can’t sleep, Logan is worried about him. Logan decides to invite Scott into spending time with him, has Scott sleep in bed with him and it’s the first time Scott can sleep. Through that they realize they need each other and fall in love. Almost every single fanfic writer in fandom writes this same trope and each one executes it beautifully and differently with their own personal spin and each one is valid and awesome. In fanfic we aren’t reinventing the wheel. We are merely weaving a way to bring our thoughts to life through our own voice in our own way. It just feels at this point while I have met some lovely people and have had some very nice interactions and responses since writing in this fandom that it is exceedingly cliquey. I feel like an outsider as I am always being told that no one likes me and they think my work is shit. I understand I’m not one of the popular writers nor do I aspire to be. I just write because it helps me escape the hardships of the reality that I am facing in my personal life. Hardships that faceless people on the internet don’t have the first clue about nor care to take the time to learn. It just seems like I have been on the chopping block when it comes to a lot of things I’ve written in this fandom. Just because two people have similar ideas, does not mean that it is plagiarism. No idea is completely original, I hate to tell you that, but it’s not. I have never plagiarized anything in my life. I’m not pointing fingers at anyone, but when I joined the fandom, I felt like I would have a place where it felt like I belonged, but truthfully? At this point I have felt like I have been nothing but judged, bullied, and shamed whether it be by some stucky fan with a vendetta or by the actual community. I don’t know why I have become the target for a lot of people when I’m really just a nobody. And trust me, by the way people respond to my fics, I have definitely had that dug in. I don’t know why other people want to make others lives miserable. You have no idea what is going on in someone’s personal life. So why do people insist on being miserable to others? I’m not writing this in order to get empathy. I’m just at this point feeling like there is nowhere I belong and after being harassed incessantly, I’m just overwhelmed and it’s sad that in a fandom people can’t just love and respect each other.

[scarthefangirl]

Happier than ever

Agatha Harkness x G/N!reader

Description: You decide it is finally time to end this.

Warnigns: TW, Yelling, crying, fighting, abuse mentioned, paedophile vibes, control issues, relationship ending, toxic, toxic relationships, mean Agatha, grooming maybe idk??

Song: Happier than ever -Billie Eilish

A/N: Ahhh, I had a blast writing this.

Requests are open as well as taglist.

I'm happier than ever

Wish I could explain it better

I wish it wasn't true, mm-hmm

You're relationship with Agatha started roughly two years ago. Things were great at first.

At first.

Slowly your girlfriend became more obsessed and aggressive. She got so jealous and rude.

But you loved her still. You just always felt a weight off your shoulders when she left. It wasn't that she was the worst person ever. But your relationship wasn't working for you anymore. But how do you explain that to someone who is deeply passionate for you?

You can't explain what happened.

It sounds like utter bull if you say you just grew apart, but that is what happened. You wish you knew how to explain what is on your heart and mind.

I knew when I asked you to be cool about what I was telling you

You'd do the opposite of what you said you'd do

And I'd end up more afraid

Today is the day you end it.

You don't want to hurt the witch. But she is hurting you. All her jealous outbursts, and scary fights. You can't even open up with her before it turns either into an argument or a fit of possessiveness.

Once, you told her about an argument with a friend that really hurt you. She got all uptight saying how she hated her anyway because she liked you. And how you spend more time with her. You could go on.

It scares you.

She scares you.

Don't say it isn't fair

You clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable, ooh

You have tried to tell her your feelings before. Multiple times. But she says your being unfair and goes on to say how you hurt her.

Then she acts all lovey dovey again.

She doesn't know how awful she makes you feel. Everyday the weight of loving her is unbearable.

When I'm away from you (when I'm away from you)

I'm happier than ever (I'm happier than ever)

Wish I could explain it better (wish I could explain it better)

I wish it wasn't true, mm-hmm

You get inside the old piece of junk air a car you drive and head the short ride to Agatha's house. You pull into the familiar driveway and get a sense of nostalgia.

How can you justify the breakup? How can you make her see that you hurt just as much as her.

For a year she has hurt you and broken you. Constantly blaming you and gaslighting you. She made you hate yourself.

You scared me to death, but I'm wasting my breath

'Cause you only listen to your f*cking friends

I don't relate to you I don't relate to you, no

'Cause I'd never treat me this sh!tty

You make me hate this city

You walk into the old house without knocking, knowing you are welcome.

"Hey Agatha. I need to talk to you." You say, she sets you down on the couch. She listens as you explain your feelings. By listening, she tries to interrupt you every five words. You manage to finish and you can see the smoke coming from her nostrils.

"I am the one hurting you!? You go around wearing super revealing clothes, flirting with others. You hurt me. You always are so selfish and rude. Besides you're ugly so you are letting the only good thing that could ever happen to you go." Agatha spits mercilessly.

"Why do you think I always go visit people outside of town? Because you made me hate where we live. You make me want to move." You scream at her.

"We are just to similar, you and I." Agatha chuckles. You glare at her with a look of disgust.

"Similar? I am nothing like you. I would never treat anyone the way you treat me. You make me scared of you! You shouldn't inflict fear on your lovers." You begin to tear up, a lump threatening to rise in the back of your throat. "You probably just dated me because your friends thought it would be funny to play me."

Never told anyone anything bad

'Cause that sh!t's embarrassing, you were my everything

And all that you did was make me f*cking sad

"I love you." Agatha groans, as though it is a task to say.

"I live you too, that is the problem. I gave up my entire life for you. You made me happy for awhile. I can remember you putting your hands on mine, stirring a glowing cauldron. But you became so cruel. You hit me. You hurt me. Not just physically, emotionally. You broke me down bit by bit painfully. Now I need to build myself back up again. You call me a gossip, but I never talk about you badly. I rambled on and on about you being amazing. I never told anyone something that could hurt you. Because I was over the moon about you." The lump in your throat lets out a croak and you wipe the tears away quickly.

So don't waste the time I don't have

Don't try to make me feel bad

You stare at the black haired woman who takes brave steps towards you. Your breath hitches for a moment, heartbreak sinking in a bit.

"After everything I gave up for you? Everything I did for you, you little ungrateful brat. I told my friends you would be easy. You were. Like a little puppet. But now you want to ruin what we have? After all the dates and time I gave you." Agatha spits harshly.

I could talk about every time that you showed up on time

But I'd have an empty line, 'cause you never did

"Dates! Time? You didn't show up to anything. You were never there. If I made a list of every time you were around for something I looked forward to I would have a blank sheet of paper." Your breathing turns uneven and your face breaks out in angry red blotches.

"You always wanted to let those losers come. Your 'friends' and your family."

Never paid any mind to my mother or friends, so I

Shut 'em all out for you 'cause I was a kid

"You didn't ever care about who I wanted to spend time with if it wasn't you. You told me they would hurt us, so I ditched them for you. All because I was young and stupid." You begin to cry, urging yourself to leave. But you stand firm, not budging. She laughs methodically at you. Her face gets threateningly close to your own.

"You're mine, pet. When was that not enough for you sweety? I make you happy. You are happy around me." Agatha says pointedly.

You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood

Made all my moments your own Just f*cking leave me alone

"No. Stop. I am happier when I am away from you. Much much happier. You make everything about you." You scream. She grabs your wrist tightly and you struggle out of her grip. "Leave me alone! We are breaking up." You run out to your car and twist the keys.

You drive home.

After some time you move on from the scary lady you had fallen deeply for. You got a new job. One you actually enjoyed. You went on dates again. You haven't met anyone yet but you are out there and that counts for something.

You are happier than ever.

~

Tags: // @powerfultaylor // @themarvelprince // @misselsbells06 // @american-sataness /

(Taglist and askbox open! See pinned post for links and details!)

[missdawnandherdusk]

The Serpent Beneath

Draco X Gryffindor!Reader

Request: @daltonacademia Draco x Gryffindor reader and maybe like a faking dating type of situation? I am a sucker for the faking dating trope lmao. Maybe you could even spice it up by making it kind of an inside out version of enemies to lovers when they act lovey-dovey in public but in secret despise each other until they slowly get feelings??

A/n: Okay so this is part one because I’m evil, but part two will be up soon enough. Let me know what you think and I love you guys so much!

“Look, I’d love to go with you but...” I scrambled for an excuse. “But I’m dating someone already,” Yeah, that worked.

Harry wasn’t convinced. “Really?” He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

“Yes!” I said a bit too enthusiastically.

“Who?” He demanded.

“Uh,” then I saw him from across the room, coming in right in front of Snape, to his seat beside me. “Malfoy,”

“Malfoy!?” Harry’s eyes bulged. “Are you bloody joking!?”

“Oi, this isn’t your seat Potter,” Draco sulked, pushing past him. “Make a fool of yourself in front of Y/l/n on your own time,”

I gave a tense smile as Snape called the class to order. Slumping in my seat, I glanced nervously over at Draco. What in the world had I just done?

“What’s got Potter so off? You refuse to kiss his feet this morning?” Draco muttered toward the end of class that was filled with glares and offhand comments from Potter all the while.

“I might have told him we’re... dating,”

Draco stiffened beside me, sitting up ramrod straight. His hands clenched into fists as he sat there glaring at the front of the room. All things considered it could have been a worse reaction. He could be yelling or hexing me. Still his stoicism worried me.

As soon as class was dismissed, Draco remained seated, still rigid. His hand came to my wrist with a vice grip and I had no choice but to stay put. I tried to not let my nervousness leak into my facial features. Especially as Harry glanced back at us still sulking. I managed a smile.

When the room was clear, he let go of me and stood, shoving excess parchments and quills off the table.

“Are you absolutely daft!?” He shouted. I shrank back in my chair.

“I panicked okay!?” I bit back. “He asked me to the Yule Ball and chosen one or not I cannot stand him,”

Draco anger flitted to confusion before resting on something neutral.

“Ickle Gryffindor can’t stand Saint Potter?” A devious smirk was playing at his lips. “I thought it came with the territory,”

“Oh, you’re not a picnic either Malfoy,” I snapped. “Bloody Slytherins,”

“And yet you chose me,” He was toying with me now, as a cat cornered a mouse. “Is this admiration I see?”

“It was mistake,” I huffed grabbing my bag and standing. “Do you get off on making me miserable?”

He caught my arm as I went to leave. I shook him off. There was something mischievous in his eyes as he smiled at me. It left an unsettling pit in my stomach.

“Do you not want me to walk me to your next class?” His feigned innocence was a serpent waiting beneath a flower.

“Shove off Malfoy, I already have enough of a mess to fix. I don’t need this from you,”

“Well, the way I see it,” He grabbed his bag walking along side me. “Is that if you can’t stand Potter and the only way you’d think to get out of dating him is to ‘date’ me... and I’d love to see Potter knocked down a few pegs...” His smile curled into something wicked.

I stopped in my tracks and gaped at him.

“I’m not some toy you can fight over! And I don’t like you!” I exclaimed.

“But do you hate me enough that you won’t consider a fake relationship with me over whatever train wreck it would be with Potter?” Draco really scared me sometimes.

I worried my lip with his question and started to walk to my next class. He kept pace with me as we walked. His silence baffled me, allowing me to think clearly for the moment.

“Okay,” I muttered, pausing in an empty hall. “Deal,” 

“Deal?” He seemed skeptical.

“Don’t get me wrong, I loathe you entirely, but... if you can get me out of having to date Potter or constantly turn him down... then deal,”

“Glad to be in business, darling,” Draco drawled, and I had to do everything not to cringe at the pet name. “See you after class?” He leaned in as if to kiss my cheek.

“Buy me dinner first, Malfoy,” I hissed, flinching away. “But... see you after class,” I achieved a small genuine smile.

McGonagall looked down on me as I entered class late and took my seat beside Hermione. 

“Is it true?” She whispered urgently. “Are you dating Malfoy?”

I nodded, not taking my eyes off McGonagall as she lectured. It was uncharacteristic of Hermione that she spoke to me during class. She was normally keenly intent on learning the new material or getting ahead on things we haven’t covered yet. Now all she could do was gape at me before tearing her eyes away to McGonagall.

“How in the world can you date Malfoy?” She hissed as we left class, before freezing, seeing that Draco was waiting in the hall, leaned causally against the opposite wall. He pushed off of it and made his way over to me, offering his hand and glancing to my bag. I raised my eyebrow at him, and he offered a seemingly sincere smile. I passed my bag to him.

“I’ll see you later Hermione,” I smiled tensely.

She eyed us suspiciously but made her way down the hall in the direction of the library where she would spend her free time this afternoon, akin to every other afternoon.

“How was class?” Draco asked, leading me down the halls in a direction of no consequence to me.

“Fine,” I stammered out. “Just McGonagall. Hermione and I are already a few lessons ahead anyway.”

“You favor Transfiguration, then?” He mused, as if he were actually interested.

“Uh... I prefer Astrology, but that’s not really the use of magic is it? Just stories.” I shrugged and smiled. “What about you Malfoy? You’re a Potions protégé, is it your favorite?”

“Uh, yeah,” He didn’t seem too sure. I pointed it out. “Well, I never really thought about it. I have to be good at everything, so why favor one subject over another?”

I glanced up at him, confusion furrowing my brow slightly.

“What?” He demanded, snideness leaking into his tone. It brought me back to reality. 

“How... Slytherin of you,” I noted with a teasing smirk. He rolled his eyes at this.

When we were out of earshot and eyesight of anyone and his demeanor changed fractionally, still giving way to a serpent under a flower. If I wasn’t careful, I would start to marvel at the miracle of the flower and overlook the threat that lurked beneath. His expression became somber and something more akin to what I was used to. A grimace. I missed the false smiles that lit up his eyes.

Flower. Serpent. Right.

“Do you really want to get dinner tonight?” His curt tone pushed me back a fraction.

“Oh... uh.” I wrapped my arms around myself in protection. “Sure?” 

It was a weekday, meaning that we’d have to eat in the Great Hall and my stomach felt uneasy about sitting anywhere near other Slytherins. Fake dating Draco or not, they were malicious to any sort of outsider, especially a Gryffindor who was friends with Saint Potter.

“I’ll pick you up at seven outside your portrait.” He passed my bag back to me now that we were outside the aforementioned portrait.

“Okay,” I barely got out as he swept down the hall and down the stairs. I watched him go, leaning over the railing to see if there was some way to know the difference between the serpent and the flower, and which one was truly the act.

“Fraternizing with a Slytherin,” The Fat Lady scoffed. “You should be ashamed,” I bit my lip, giving the password and the portrait opened begrudgingly.

Should I be ashamed for the situation that I had found myself in? The easy answer was yes. I should. Not only was I fraternizing I was being courting by a Slytherin. Draco Malfoy was an egotistical arrogant bigot who I should avoid at all cost. Not be in a false relationship with. And for such selfish reasons too. I was using Draco, but on the same note, he was using me to get at Harry. We only cared for the other enough for what they could do in our favor.

It was a mess.

I ducked my head and flopped onto a sofa in the Common Room.

“Oi! What the bloody hell are you thinking!?” And there was the lecture I was expecting from Harry, and probably every other student on this campus, and myself. But this was Harry, an equally egotistical arrogant loudmouth, who I loved to hate just as much.

“I’m sorry,” I snapped sarcastically. “I didn’t know that you controlled who I dated or not.” My tone was acidic.

“But Malfoy!? Malfoy!?” Harry demanded. “It’s got to be a joke!” It was.

“Just because I rejected you doesn’t mean you’re allowed to call my relationship with someone else a joke!” I shouted drawing my wand. A small crowd had formed in the Common Room. I didn’t know who they would side with, but the odds weren’t in my favor, that much was sure.

.

part 2

.

masterlist

.

more like this:

gryffindor!reader series

ten things i hate about you

.

@coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87 @artemismohr18@whygz@crazywritingbug @bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog@savingdraco  @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen@hxneybgb @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms   @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte @braelynn-johnston     @jiggllyy @darcypotter-blog  @thiccheerioss@lottie289 @beautiful-pegasus@tceedlmao @anonymous034 @bi-andready-tocry @dragonsandbread @the-queen-of-hell-things @alienmotel  @oh-itsnothing @sunflowerxsadnessw @fattycooter @fanficsigottaread @gweaslvy @strawberriesonsummer @gaysludge @ray-of-sunrise @artist-bby @shadowsingeraxolotl @quillsareforwriting @wollymalfoy @lilpieceoftoast @paper-cats @floweryjh @hufflautia @livize75 @annie-mcl @riathearora @live-like-luna @justathoughtfulangel @coconutdawn @skteaiy @naughtygranger @dragonsandbread @abundantxadorations @moony-artnstuff @and-then-a-girl-with-luv @1-800-luvsick @pandas-rice-field @in-slytherin-we-trust @emmaa-t @introvertedrae @infinity1o1 @echpr@dekulover @marshmallowtraver @cereuselle @lonely-skywalker @sleepysnapesnake @hoeforthefictional @coldlilheart @helen-paris @rosie-starlit-sky @vulture-withafile @hogstupefy @eveft @iraniq @groovyfluxie @cool-weirdo-wannabee-author @rosegold-thorns @criminaly-supernatural @ghostofdolans @mxl-foyrecs @ginger-haired-queen @bex4whovian @kellyrose193 @unlikelygalaxygiver @marvel-trash-was-taken @one-edgy-bitch@supersouthy @garbagejay@rejectedlonelyasianchild  @lucymxwell @coldlilheart @elia-the-bibliophile @biggalaxydreamland @fuckbuckyyy @hopem1218 @youareinllve @tyrusparker @3rdofkingdomtrees @i-mmunity @zero-nightshade @graym01 @fandomtrash88 @snakey-drakey @ceeellewrites @thatguppienamedbae @pinkleopardss @angel-blogging @xhoney-bee-x @jovialthings @samanthahaigwood @minigigglybabi @clumsy-writing-rdb @lahoete @yourenotafailureoverall @m-winchester-67 @shiningstar-byulxx@clumsy-writing-rdb @dracosathenaeum @dracofeltonmalfoy   @harryslouis @iilovemusic12us @itsbebeyyy @dumspirospero-1 @kaye-lantern @anerroroccurrrrred @franbow29 @big-galaxy-chaos @itsbebeyyy @gryffindors-weasley @ornella0910 @ultrabuzzlightyear @phantomface1983 @emmalee12 @kuyrukludenizkizi @aubreylovesthegames @deafeninglandpersonempath @ackermanbitch @oingo233 @drismultiverse-blog @majicbamana @harrypotter289 @marinettepotterandplagg @cupidpoison @brownwheatrice @introvertedrae @gryffindors-weasley @frecklesandfirecrackers @bitchinbadgers @mkstover @dracomalfoyreader @mortallythoughtfulgurl @sakumorubywy @smileycount @ceeellewrites @is-it-really-a-secret @blogforharrypotter @spencerreidisbootiful @lam-ila @justawilddreamerchild @heavenlyrainyparis @trappedgoose-in-a-writblr-room @dracomalfoyreader @spellbinding10 @justawilddreamerchild @queen-of-the-coven @potterpasties @trudabest @theonlystoriesiliketoread @daltonacademia @jemmakates @dannighost @imagines-andshizz @unstableye @hahee154hq @malfoystylinson @idkmanicantenglish @subpar-life​

[ephemerlskies]

constant craving | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇢ genre: drabble series, angst, unrequited love, idiot!jungkook, idiot!oc, basically everyone's an idiot

⇢ word count: 1.7k

⇢ warnings: unreciprocated pining, explicit language, themes of hopeless romanticism (!!), (slightly) unedited

⇢ summary: your best friend decided to confide in his best friend on how to win his girlfriend back after a fight. you tell him exactly what to say to her, however he is unaware that what you were saying was a sincere delivery of your once undeclared love.

♪ playlist: constant craving - k.d. lang, bad religion - frank ocean, misunderstood - lucky daye, neu roses - daniel caesar ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

a/n: hello my little loves!! this was definitely ;) not ;) an impulse write and release ;) ;) sorry for being so inactive lately. i've been focusing on myself (i know how cliche that sounds but it's true). anyway, enjoy this incredibly angsts fic i wrote at 2 am for absolutely no reason at all other than i'm an emotional sadist and a masochist. love u!!!! <3

part one: control

He was coming over for the third time this week. Third time. Three times is two more times than he'd gone over his girlfriend's house, but you did everything in your power to convince your inconvincible heart that it meant nothing. Friends see each other more than their girlfriends, right?

It was making a racket in your chest, that muscle that strained much harder for a man who had his pumping for the girl of his dreams.

But, he was coming over for the third time this week.

The first time he said this visit ranked, in his words, 'out of the question' on the degree of necessary that he come over and show you Star Wars. You played a good game of reluctance when asking if it was the entire series or just one movie, and in your head, you hoped to God it was the entire series. For him, you'd watch the series four times over if it meant you sat through this outrageously nerdy movie next to the even more outrageously nerdy love of your life.

The second time was particularly funny to you. He called while you were cooking dinner, almost as if he was in stride with you in a way that was an ounce too synchronized to be platonic, and asked if you were whipping up a delicious meal that he could mooch off of. Knowing he was a terrible cook, plus the fact that when he begged so politely you felt your posture unbind into to a puddle, you more than happily obliged.

This time, the circumstances made it harder to say yes, but not yet impossible. And it was a second or two before you heard that knock on the front door that had your once pounding heart come to a complete halt. It was still, waiting for you to make a decision.

Since it was Jungkook, of course, you'd say yes. And your heart would continue beating. Beating, as in sending sharp jabs that stained the inside of your chest with bruises. Beating, as in when the time came, the final blow of your constantly craving heart would devastate your entire being.

"Thank you so much, ___. God, I'm such an idiot." He walked in with all the confidence of someone who was a bit too familiar with your company. Jungkook's feet reintroducing themselves to your floors in the same manner as he would the night before, and the night before that, and the countless nights you kept secured in your collection of memories. As if he belonged there; as if he was coming home.

"An idiot with a great friend." That last word nearly withdrew the bile you had been ever so gracefully holding in.

"Yeah yeah." And he was comfortable with that same word, 'friend', that deepened your bruises into scars. He had absolutely no clue. Idiot. "I can't believe I broke up with her. I was so angry and acted on that instead of logic. Fuck, why would I do that to myself? I love her."

"Well, you never know. Maybe..." You hated yourself for not resisting the selfish temptation that was about to fall from your lips. The words you've been internally screaming to him to leave her and fall in love with you instead were diluted to something much more tame when your tongue formed them into sound.

"Maybe it was for the best. Maybe you guys are better off apart? To, um, grow or whatever."

"No." He said that with too much certainty and too little hesitance and just enough conviction to sink another wound in the organ exhausting itself in your chest. "She's the one. I know it"

"Jungkook."

He looked at you with all the earnestness of a man who carved his utmost and unchanging dedication to her. A look that any love-induced sap would kill for. A look he would never direct towards you.

Your eyes weren't under your control as of now. The glue that held them to his eyes, his lips, his hair, and every other part of him you dreamed of was more than a marathoned yearning. It was an adhesive twelve years in the making, not showing the slightest sign of wearing away.

"The way you love is something to die for..." And then he smiled at you, but still not for you.

You were utterly crushed.

"She'll take you back in a heartbeat. I mean, she has a brain, so of course, she will. Anyone would."

I would.

"I hope you're right." The couch was four feet wide at most, but there was an impressively vast space between you and the man who was sitting next to you. "Can you tell me what to say? You know I suck with words."

"Uh... Yeah. Of course. Anything."

If breaking hearts were a crime, then Jungkook would have much to atone for. You'd be convicted as a willing accomplice for holding on this long. Up until this point, you've let every small glance, every shy smile he sent your way, every eyebrow twitch conveying a meaning only you knew well enough to retrieve him from whatever awkward situation he needed rescuing from, every accidentally brush of his hand against yours, every purposeful embrace that lasted so long your tears stained his right shoulder string you into a knot of miserable, unrequited love.

And up until this point, you had hope he would choose you.

Each ring of his phone worked in tandem to reduce your undying devotion to Jungkook into a compressed seed of denial.

I don't love him. He's just my best friend.

Your pulse pronounced itself loudly in your ears, as a not-so-gentle reminder of how much you hated him for loving him. Somehow, your heart beat faster. Then again, anything was possible when it came to him. Anything except the miraculous event of him hanging up, declaring his love for you, and living in the land of happily ever after that only existed in your deluded imagination.

"Hey Irene! I'm so fucking glad you picked up."

He gave you that look. With the arched eyebrow, his widened doe eyes, and the slightly hung jaw, you read each feature better than words and nodded to signal you knew exactly what he needed.

"I'm sorry about what happened." You said, in a whisper, though the deflated volume of your words carried no implication of the unbridled sincerity sealed in them.

"I'm sorry about what happened." He repeated, laying down that same Irene-contrived smile on you that fostered a smile of your own, knowing fully it surfaced as a reflex from hearing her voice.

"It might be crazy to try this, because I don't know how you feel."

If the thing people say about your life flashing before your eyes during encounters with death, then you were sure your heart was about to consume its last pulse of blood. The scenes of you and Jungkook spending your Friday nights when you were a ripe city dweller in your shoebox apartment doing everything and nothing at all had convinced you that you were certainly about to go into cardiac arrest.

"It might be crazy to say this, because I don't know how you feel." Jungkook was so many things, however emotionally perceptive was not one of them.

"But I love you. I have loved you since the moment I met you." Those words tasted sweet despite fermenting in a chamber of your heart you kept preserved since, as you said, the very moment you met him.

"But I love you. I have loved you since the moment I met you."

"No matter what, I'd choose you. It doesn't matter how mad I am or how annoyed I am, I will choose you because if I know anything in this damn, cruel, punishing world, then I know that I'd rather be angry, annoyed, or anything else with you than without you."

He repeated your words, but dehydrated all of your sentiment from them. You were left with the remnants of the feelings, and none of the words from him you were so desperately starved of. He took them right from your throat, along with the very breath that seemed to keep returning because of Jungkook, molded them into his own, into a sequence of sounds that were meant for Irene. You were left hungry, breathless, and forever wanting.

"No matter what, I'd choose you. It doesn't matter how mad I am or how annoyed I am, I will choose you because if I know anything in this damn, cruel, punishing world, then I know that I'd rather be angry, annoyed, or anything else with you than without you."

Irene must have been smiling right about now. Who wouldn't smile hearing those things from someone like Jungkook?

"Because with you, I'm complete. My story can't end if I'm incomplete. Please, choose me back. Complete me. That's all I ask."

Then, you began to ask yourself another question.

If you make me complete, Jungkook, will my story ever end?

You knew the answer to that. You swore your heart beat in a morse code that told you everything you needed to know.

"Because with you, I'm complete. My story can't end if I'm incomplete. Please, choose me back. Complete me. That's all I ask."

Jungkook looked to you, before Irene could form the proper response, and smiled. It was the third time he smiled at you today because of course, you were keeping track. You knew it was his own physically linguistic version of a 'thank you' or a 'you're a life saver' but somehow, to you, it translated to something similar to a 'goodbye'.

Your legs miraculously rose and carried you to the back porch. The sun was just beginning to dip in the horizon, proliferating a warm orange that was about to subside to an indistinguishable and unpredictable dusk. Whatever color came after the sunset, you were ready to accept it, to memorize how it reflected against a world without the possibility of him. And even though the night will always embody undertones of orange, it was time to focus on the colors around it.

It was time to let go.

a/n: i might make this into a drabble series!!! if anyone would be interested in that please let me know :)) thank you for readinggggg <3

[creepy-spooghetti]

Puppeteer Headcanons

The Puppeteer Headcanons

Jonathan is a unique fellow, to say the least, but I think everyone residing in Slender Manor is unique in some way or another.

He's the kinda guy that will steal someone's lunch but then spend the rest of his life denying that he ever did even when the evidence is right there in front of everyone.

He's not a prankster like Kagekao is, but he also isn't a stick-in-the-mud that doesn't know how to have fun, either. If the right opportunity presents itself, he will indeed have a good time.

His sense of humor is...questionable.

"What's red, small, and sits in a corner?"

Queue the looks of confusion.

"A baby chewing on a razor blade."

Like I said...it's questionable.

Surprisingly enough, he and Clockwork get along fairly well. They're both a fan of dark humor, are keen on people getting hurt as a result of their own stupidity, and adore making their housemate's lives as miserable as possible.

This can be done by either cracking crude jokes, starting fights just cause, and making fun of someone for the dumbest possible reasons.

Ones like Liu, Cody, and Toby have discovered insecurities that they never even knew they had before for these exact things.

For example, Liu now makes a big effort to pluck his nose hairs because they're "long and gross", Cody is now constantly on-edge for worrying about his "thin lips", and Toby just stays in his room more often because he doesn't wanna be around people who see him as nothing more than a "depressed son of a bitch".

Jonathan is one of the taller ones of the Creeps, reaching a height of 6'3". He's also one of the more well-built ones, so he's pretty strong. And trust me, he will show that trait off any moment he gets.

He isn't self-centered, in fact, he's to the point of not even caring what he looks like, but he knows it makes people like Jeff who are very boastful about their appearance mad, so of course he flaunts that around a lot just to see his face of absolute resentment.

When someone dares to bring up his past life, his love life especially, he gets extremely sensitive and blows up at whoever it is, even if they were only genuinely curious. When this happens, he gets over it pretty quickly, but it still makes him angry for reasons unknown to everyone but Slenderman.

He never thought about having another girlfriend, not after what happened, only preferring to live alone eternally. It sounds lonely, but that's what he wants. In his opinion, being in a relationship would just needlessly complicate things, and bring back bitter memories he would rather just not remember.

At times in vulnerability, he does miss his little siblings, since he was the oldest and therefore responsible for their well-being because his garbage mother refused to take care of them herself. This left him being forced to drop out of school and get a full-time job at just 15 in an effort to pay bills and make sure his brother and sisters didn't lose their home.

He shows his occasional sadness through complete anger, and just about everyone knows not to screw with him when he's in this state.

The only person in the entire house that he's really fond of is Sally, and that's mainly because she reminds him of one of his younger sisters, and he treats her as such, even though she can find him intimidating at times.

He hates dogs with a passion. This is why he and Jeff are rivals in particular. If anyone dislikes Smile, Jeff dislikes them. That's just how it goes.

Jonathan is more of a reptile person than anything - in fact, when he was around 12, he owned a couple of pet salamanders. The family dog got ahold of them though so that ended badly...it also explains why he doesn't adore dogs like most people.

This guy is perhaps the most charming individual in the Manor when he wants to be, which makes it all the more deprecating whenever he sweet-talks someone then turns around and insults them. Which of course, makes it more hilarious to him.

He lives to watch someone's expression fall from flattered to discouraged in an instant.

Definitely one of the more disliked members in the mansion because he can be so cruel and overall just annoying, especially to well-tempered ones like Brian, Jane, and Liu.

[bloody-bee-tea]

Permanent - All Star Xicheng White Day 2

Day 2 of All Star Xicheng White Day brings some Current Year and in my country they talked about only having one chosen household to interact with during a lockdown, which in the end didn't quite come through, but it serves us well for fic purposes XD

Jiang Cheng knows that’s going to happen before his phone even starts to ring. So it’s no surprise to him to see Lan Xichen’s name flash up on the screen.

“Xichen,” he greets him as he accepts the call, though he lets his head drop against the couch.

He knew this would happen the moment he heard the news, so this isn’t that much of a surprise.

“Did you hear?” Lan Xichen asks him and he sounds anxious.

“Of course I did,” Jiang Cheng scoffs. “It’s everywhere after all.”

“True,” Lan Xichen says with a small laugh before he goes serious again. “Wanyin, I won’t be able to come over anymore,” Lan Xichen then tells him and he sounds honestly sad about that, too.

“I know,” Jiang Cheng says with a sigh. “You have to take care of Lan Qiren.”

“Yes,” Lan Xichen agrees with a whisper. “He doesn’t need that much help, but if he does and I’m always at your place—”

“I understand, Xichen,” Jiang Cheng says, and he does.

Besides, it’s not like they are living together or anything. Jiang Cheng still doesn’t know how it happened that Lan Xichen spends more time in his apartment than his own, but they are not living together and there are no obligations on either side.

“I’m really sorry,” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng honestly feels upset over the fact that Lan Xichen feels like he has to apologize for wanting to be there for his family.

“Don’t be,” Jiang Cheng says and then forces out a laugh. “At least like this I’m getting rid of the leech who made a home in my apartment,” he then teases and there’s a beat of silence before Lan Xichen laughs softly.

“And here I thought my cooking and company would be enough to pay for rent. Foolish of me, I see,” he gives back and Jiang Cheng laughs.

“Your food is not actually that good. Completely tasteless, it’s an affront,” he says, and neither of them mention that Lan Xichen makes a special portion just for Jiang Cheng, spiced up to his liking.

“Then you’ll be glad to be rid of it for a while,” Lan Xichen whispers and Jiang Cheng immediately agrees.

It wouldn’t do to make Lan Xichen feel bad about wanting to be there for his family and so Jiang Cheng won’t.

“You got that one right,” Jiang Cheng says. “I guess Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian will be each other’s household?”

“Of course,” Lan Xichen says with a sigh. “Wangji called me while they were still airing the news. I don’t know why I ever expected anything else, to be honest,” Lan Xichen tells him and Jiang Cheng feels a flash of anger for Lan Xichen.

Lan Wangji truly is selfish; he didn’t even ask his brother what they should do with Lan Qiren, he just expects Lan Xichen to cover that part, so Lan Wangji can continue to do disgusting things with Wei Wuxian.

“That sucks,” Jiang Cheng says and even though Lan Xichen would never say out loud that he agrees, his silence is also pretty telling.

He long ago gave up on correcting Jiang Cheng or defending his brother, and Jiang Cheng learned that it’s the best admission he will ever get from Lan Xichen regarding this topic.

“Will you be alright, Wanyin?” Lan Xichen suddenly asks him and Jiang Cheng huffs out a laugh.

“I’m used to living alone,” he shoots back. “Will you be alright? Do you even still remember your way around your own apartment?”

“Of course I do! I will be alright,” Lan Xichen promises him and Jiang Cheng hums.

“Good,” he whispers and can’t deny that the easy confirmation stings a bit.

He doesn’t want Lan Xichen to be miserable—of course not—but he could have at least pretended to think this over a bit more.

“I’ll let you go now,” Lan Xichen says. “I’ll see you after this lockdown ends.”

“If,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and then sighs. “Don’t go and forget my face, alright,” he can’t help but to say and he can hear the smile on Lan Xichen’s face when he answers.

“How could I ever,” he gives back and then hangs up on Jiang Cheng.

It’s fine. He can totally do this, it’s not like he got used to Lan Xichen always being in his apartment or anything.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng is definitely not fine, he has to admit on the second day.

It’s not only that he misses Lan Xichen’s presence in his apartment, but also the knowledge that he can’t see any of his family or friends.

Wei Wuxian chose Lan Wangji as the one household he’s allowed to see. Jiang Cheng has no desire to see his parents, so they are out as well. Nie Huaisang’s health is not actually well enough to take even the slightest risk of contracting the virus, so he’s not meeting anyone.

Jiang Yanli has called Jiang Cheng very regretfully right after he hung up on Lan Xichen and told him that the peacock still needed to go to work, and she wouldn’t let her workers alone at the restaurant and Jin Ling would be in day care because of that so they were seeing altogether way too many people for her to be comfortable with and so Jiang Cheng couldn’t see them either.

It is in times like this that Jiang Cheng realizes that he is in fact a family man, and that he doesn’t do too well with absolutely no contact at all.

Especially since he got so used to Lan Xichen being there with him all the damn time.

At first it was a way for Lan Xichen to escape seeing Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian being all disgustingly in love in his home, but that excuse disappeared when Lan Wangji moved into his own apartment—thankfully not directly together with Wei Wuxian, though Jiang Cheng would never understand how Jiang Yanli managed to convince them that living alone for a while would do both of them some good first—and still Lan Xichen didn’t stop coming over all the time.

He was there when Jiang Cheng came from work, he was there when he woke up, and Jiang Cheng had long since ago converted his study into a second bedroom, just so that Lan Xichen doesn’t have to sleep on the couch anymore.

Jiang Cheng got used to Lan Xichen being a permanent fixture in his life and his apartment.

It was all fine and dandy, but now the apartment feels awfully empty with just Jiang Cheng in it.

He misses waking up to the smell of coffee, which Lan Xichen specifically brewed for him, and he always forgets that he doesn’t have to put down two plates for dinner, and most of all he misses coming home to someone else and having someone to banter and talk with.

He misses Lan Xichen.

Jiang Cheng misses him so damn much, that he even loses sleep over it, because it feels wrong not having to be a bit more quiet after nine and having no one to wake up to, and it’s definitely putting a damper on his mood.

Sure, Lan Xichen and he constantly text and they call each other once a day, but it’s not the same and Jiang Cheng hates it.

It’s on the third evening when he puts down one too many plates yet again that a realization hits him over the head like a hammer.

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng whispers and sinks down on the chair, staring into nothing. “Oh fuck,” he whispers again and then gets his phone to call his sister.

“A-Cheng,” she warmly greets him, but he is too shocked to properly reply to that.

“Am I in love with Xichen?” he asks her, damn well knowing the answer, but he needs to talk about this with someone right this instant or he’ll go insane.

“I should hope so, seeing as you’re living together,” Jiang Yanli gives back, clearly confused and Jiang Cheng drops his head on the table.

“We’re not,” Jiang Cheng whispers. “We’re not living together. We’re not even togetherlike that,” he tells her, and her silence is really worrying.

“What do you mean?” she asks after a very long moment and Jiang Cheng groans.

“He’s just—we’re friends. He comes over a lot, but we’re just friends!”

“Are you, though?” Jiang Yanli asks, clearly recovering faster than Jiang Cheng.

“Yes!”

“But you do have feelings for him?” Jiang Yanli carefully asks and Jiang Cheng groans.

“I didn’t know!” he desperately says. “I was so used to having him here all the time, and we’re so comfortable together, and I just didn’t know! I didn’t realize.”

“Is he not with you?” Jiang Yanli wants to know and Jiang Cheng realizes that he might have forgotten to tell her that Lan Xichen decided to make Lan Qiren his one household.

“No,” he admits. “He’s staying at his own place in case his uncle needs him.”

“And you miss him,” Jiang Yanli softly guesses and Jiang Cheng hates how right she is.

“I miss him so much,” Jiang Cheng whispers. “Fuck, I miss him.”

“Oh, Ah-Cheng, of course you would miss him. I bet he misses you, too.”

“I don’t actually want him to miss me, because then he’ll feel bad about wanting to prioritize his family and I don’t want that,” Jiang Cheng rushes out and Jiang Yanli laughs softly.

“You really do love him,” she says and Jiang Cheng lightly smacks his head against the table.

“Fuck, I really do.”

“It’s not something bad. I’m pretty sure he feels the same,” Jiang Yanli tells him and Jiang Cheng stares off into nothing again.

He thinks she might actually be right, because there are a thousand little moments Jiang Cheng can name where Lan Xichen smiled that special soft, small smile at him, or where he reached out for Jiang Cheng or where he made it seem like they were living in domestic bliss.

“I hope so,” Jiang Cheng whispers and then whips his head up when someone rings at his door.

“Did you order food from somewhere that is not my restaurant?” Jiang Yanli asks him, and her voice is noticeably colder than just a few moments before.

“Of course not!” Jiang Cheng gives back, affronted that his sister would actually think that. “I didn’t order anything. I’m not expecting anyone.”

“Then you better go check who it is,” Jiang Yanli says. “Let’s video call soon so Jin Ling doesn’t forget what you look like,” she then says, and before Jiang Cheng can enthusiastically agree, she hangs up on him.

“Rude,” Jiang Cheng mutters, and gets up, but he freezes in his steps when the door to his apartment is opened.

“Wanyin?” Lan Xichen calls out and Jiang Cheng rushes to meet him in the hallway.

“Why did you ring first if you brought your key?” he asks and then his gaze falls onto the suitcase Lan Xichen has with him.

“Are they sending you on a business trip? In this situation?” Jiang Cheng asks, and he feels angry on Lan Xichen’s behalf.

There are restrictions to traveling right now and while Lan Xichen is doing a stellar job at his work, it hardly justifies to expose him to danger like that.

“No, no, relax,” Lan Xichen says with a smile but then he grows serious again. “I actually—you see—” he starts but he seems to nervous to say it and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“Just spit it out,” he urges him on, completely ignoring his own rapidly beating heart because he thought he would have more time to come to terms with the fact that he’s in love with Lan Xichen before he has to see him again.

“I thought I’d move in,” Lan Xichen rushes out, and then goes red in the face.

“You what?” Jiang Cheng asks, completely taken off guard.

“I thought I would move in,” Lan Xichen repeats, his voice steadier this time. “That way we would be one household and I could still meet with shufu if the need should arise,” Lan Xichen explains and when he meets Jiang Cheng’s eyes, it’s his turn to go bright red in the face. “If you would be okay with that, of course,” Lan Xichen tacks on and Jiang Cheng laughs because he is so much more than alright with that.

“We’re so goddamn stupid,” Jiang Cheng whispers and then steps right into Lan Xichen’s personal space, convinced that he’s welcome there.

He’s proven right, when Lan Xichen doesn’t only step even closer, but also puts his hands on Jiang Cheng’s hips.

“Oh, are we?” Lan Xichen asks, and there’s a teasing twinkle in his eyes. “It wasn’t me who failed to pick up on a lot of flirting,” Lan Xichen tells him and Jiang Cheng presses his lips together before he shrugs.

“Well, better late than never, right?” he asks and is rewarded with a blinding smile and a soft kiss.

It’s a combination Jiang Cheng hopes to get many, many more times in the future.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[charlietheepicwriter7]

When the Chips are Down

Chapter 12 - AO3

Marinette had long since accepted that, to prevent akumatization, she needed surefire ways to calm herself down. The risk of Hawkmoth’s victory was too high if she allowed herself to get too panicky, or too angry, or too scared—

But the average person couldn’t keep their cool all the time. It wasn’t feasible. And, Ladybug or not, Marinette was still an average girl.

The best method she found was the one-minute rule. All she had to do was allow herself to experience the full emotion for a minute, doing whatever came to mind to express the emotion—panicking, yelling, throwing her bag across the room—before wrapping the feeling up tight and forcing herself to relax.

So she only gave herself a minute to deal with Adrien Agreste. Fortunately, a minute was all she needed… and all he could handle.

********************************************************

Adrien flinched at her scorching tone, stepping back as she stepped forward to deal with him. “Marinette—”

“First of all, you don’t get to decide if someone has made Ladybug and Chat Noir’s lives harder. Last I checked, you are neither of them! Ladybug and Chat Noir have never complained about civilians, either the akumatized or anyone else; the only person they have on record complained about is Hawkmoth, which they have a solid right to do so.”

“W-Wait, Mari—”

“Secondly, it is never a civilian’s fault that someone got akumatized!” She jabbed a finger in Adrien’s face. She could feel Felix’s shock. “The only person at fault is Hawkmoth, so don’t you ever blame Felix for something that man caused!

“Third, even if people could be blamed for causing an akuma, there are far worse people you could put your blame on. Like, for example, Chloe, your childhood friend who has been involved with nearly all of our classmates akumatizations, and even some of their relatives.” Her grin was sharp. “So, it’s a good thing we don’t blame people for getting others akumatized, right Adrien?”

“Marinette, that’s not—”

“And finally—” She breathed deep and exhaled loudly, forcing out the rage along with it. “I am sick and tired of whatever this—” She gestured between the two boys—“is. You’re cousins, and sure, you don’t get along, I can understand that. I don’t like my cousins that much ether. But this? Your constant snipping, the regular assassination of Felix’s character…” She sighed and blinked away unshed tears. “It’s too much.”

“I haven’t been snipping at him!”

“It’s true, you don’t do it nearly as often as he does.” She glanced at Felix, who tried to look innocent. “And I tell him off for it. But you’re the one who said that if Felix lost something, it means he doesn’t care about it. You’re the one who said he makes Ladybug’s job harder. You start things, Adrien.”

“I don’t!” Adrien denied. “B-Besides, even if I did, you don’t know what he’s like when we’re alone. He’s cruel, Marinette.”

“Are you sure about that?” She challenged. “Because Adrien, Felix has been a lot better about his behavior recently. You haven’t seen it because you don’t bother spending time with him, but there’s no need to constantly defame him.”

“But he caused that akuma on the anniversary—”

“And that was a really mean thing to do, I understand that, Adrien.” She glared. “But whatever happened to the high road?”

He stepped back.

“Because based on your actions, either you think your own cousin isn’t worth the high road approach, or you never thought very highly of it to begin with.” She crossed her arms. “So which is it?”

He shot her a frustrated look. “Marinette, this isn’t about Felix. This is about you two conspiring to humiliate Lila!”

“Would you prefer she humiliate us instead?” Felix asked, mirroring her pose. He nodded at her. “Because that’s what Rossi tries to do. She makes up her little lies, she gets the class worked up into a frenzy, and points them at us. She wants your ‘good friend’ to be miserable, Adrien.”

“She just… wants friends. Hurting her isn’t going to change anything.”

“But coddling her is only going to make things worse.”

“She’s not hurting anyone.”

She shot Adrien a glare. “You can say that when you’re the one who’s losing their friends because of Lila. But I don’t want to hear a word from you until that happens.”

“Marinette, it’s just a misunderstanding!” Adrien said. “Look, Alya has been really worried about you since you started hanging out with Felix—”

“If Alya is worried, she can say it to me herself. Neither of us need you to interfere on our behalf.” If Alya had something to say, she could say it to Marinette’s face instead of ghosting her for the past month. Marinette hadn’t hear anything from her best friend, not even a request to help babysit or an order from the bakery.

“Marinette—” Adrien reached out to touch her, but she stepped away.

“I’m going home. Don’t you have to go home too?” Adrien winced and Marinette tried not to feel terrible about it. She turned away. “Bye, Adrien.”

“Marinette, wait—”

She left, Felix following her out of the school. Adrien tried to go with them, but his bodyguard caught him the moment he stepped out of school and took him back to Agreste mansion. Marinette caught Felix smirking as they watched Adrien drive away. A horrible, unrelenting ache opened up in her chest. “Well, I think you handled that quite well—”

“Felix? No offence, but I don’t really want to hear it right now.”

“Marinette?”

“I know you said something about celebrating before, but I’m not feeling good. I… Can you leave me alone? Just for a little bit?” Dark clouds swirled overhead, the threat of rain looming as Marinette casted her eyes to the heaven, then back down at Felix.

His expression was unreadable, but he nodded. “Very well. Would you like me to inform the school you’re sick? So you can stay home longer.”

“That’s really nice of you, Felix. Thank you.”

“Think nothing of it, Marinette.” He smiled, a rare treat on a face used to smirks. “I hope you feel better soon.”

“Yeah… I hope so too.”

Marinette went home, bypassing her parents, to her bedroom filled with reminders of Adrien. His photos were pasted to her walls, his schedule hanging from her ceiling, his presents in her chest. A single tear streaked down her cheek as another shard of heartbreak pierced her heart.

She felt a little hand on her arm. “Marinette?”

A sob caught in her throat as she savagely beat the emotion down. “Tikki—” Her voice the barest whisper—“I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

Because Adrien, the one she loved, was… against her. It was the only way she could describe it. He had looked at her side and looked at Lila’s and chosen to support a liar, but he thought she was the one in the wrong for… what? Fighting back? Having Felix on her side? She absently wondered if he would support her if she abandoned Felix, since he hates Felix so much, and cringed at the thought. Another example to add to the pile. How could she even consider abandoning a friend just to get Adrien to like her? Who does that?

Marinette does, apparently.

“I don’t like the person I am when I’m in love with Adrien,” she confessed, looking down at her kwami. “I don’t like how he becomes the center of my world. I don’t like how I compromise my morals to make him happy.” Because that’s why she tried to follow the high road: to make him happy. “I… I don’t want to love him anymore, Tikki.”

The kwami hugged her. “It’s okay. You don’t have to like anyone you don’t want to. You just need to let him go.”

The ache in her heart tripled. “How?” she gasped, crying more freely.

Tikki spent the rest of the afternoon guiding her. First, a meditation session to calm her down. Next, she and Tikki went through every present she planned to one day give Adrien, carefully unwrapped each one, and decided what to do with them. Marinette didn’t want them around the house—the memories of her intentions would still be there—so they planned to give them to a thrift store that weekend. She deleted her collage background on her computer. The schedule was then scrubbed clean, the sharpie coming off the laminated paper with hand sanitizer, and Marinette was forced to remember each and every thing she had done to get that information. She was almost crying again at the end, this time with shame.

Finally, the photos. She remembered the hours she’d spent pouring over magazines and the internet. Outside of the few group shots he was in, every picture she had of him was heavily photoshopped. She pulled them off the walls, one by one. This one has most of his smile, she thought, and this one didn’t change his face, but he looked so tired…

She didn’t know why she had these photos. It seemed rational at the time, but… a lot of things seemed rational when she was trying to make him like her. So she placed them in a prototype of her diary box and let Tikki hide it.

“Goodbye, Adrien.” The words were final, but seemed necessary. She couldn’t like him anymore, not if she wanted to stay alive.

The next morning, she woke up feeling like she’d been wrung out. For once she was on time, her mind too anxious to allow her to sleep long. She met Felix at the door to school.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked, leading her inside.

She hesitated. “…A bit. But I’ll get better soon. Tikki smiled encouragingly at her from inside her purse. “Did I miss anything?”

“Just another one of Rossi’s temper tantrums.” He rolled his eyes as they walked into the locker room. “Honestly, I have to wonder about her parents if that’s what she considers acceptable behavior. Anyway, I got your notes and—” His voice caught in his throat, cutting off with an inelegant croak as his eyes widened. Marinette followed his gaze and her mouth dropped open.

There was a small crowd surrounding her locker. Written on it in red spray paint was the word “Skank”. Marinette approached it, her mind disassociating and distant from what she was seeing, and opened it. Everything in it was coated in the same paint, ruining the few textbooks and decorations inside. She reached out and touched it. Stone dry.

“Someone get a teacher!” Felix’s furious voice broke her from her trance. He had never sounded angry before. His emerald eyes glinted as he glared at the crowd. “Which one of you did this!?” he demanded. “This is destruction of private property!” She could feel everyone staring at her. Did they think she deserved this? Did they pity her? Did they—

“M. Graham de Vanily, stop shouting.” Mme. Mendeleive was the teacher summoned. “Now, what exactly is going on here—” She stopped, seeing the damage done. Her lips thinned. “Marinette, are you okay?”

“I…” She tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. “I don’t…”

“I think she’s in shock, Mme. Mendeleive,” Felix said.

Mme. Mendeleive nodded, concern clear on her face. “Take her to the nurses office. I’ll figure out what happened here.”

Felix was trying to usher her out of room when something clattered to the ground. A can of red spray paint rolled across the floor and bumped into her foot. Marinette picked it up; it was the same shade as the paint on her locker.

Alya, who at just opened her locker only for the can to fall out, stared at it in dread. “Marinette—” her eyes searched Marinette’s— “Girl, you know I didn’t—”

“Alya…?” Did Alya… did she do it…? Tears flowed. Why would she… And Marinette remembered yesterday, remembered making Alya fail, and gritted her teeth. “Alya, how could you?”

She flinched back, betrayal on her face. “Girl, you know me! I would never—I have never seen that can before in my life!”

And now she was lying to her!? Marinette turned away. “Save it, Alya.” Her voice hitched with a sob. She didn’t want to hear anything Alya had to say. She handed the can to Mme. Mendeleive and ran. 

Taglist: @graduatedmelon @novicevoice @dur55 @kris-pines04 @18-fandoms-unite-08 @moonlightstar64 @bee-a-garbage-shipper @sol-o-shade @kittyotakunoir666 @tinyterror333 @allieoftheenemy @marichat00 @xgxmxtx @two-faced-biatch @feliciakainzofspades @evil-cricket @emilytopaz @spicybelladonna @chocolateherringtacofan @user00000003 @wannajointhecrabcult @happymonster-pants @duquesapincarrasca @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen

[pparkerpoetry]

Face Reality (Part 12)

Title: Secrets Fester (but they aren’t the only things that grow)

Summary: Tommy's hybrid half urges him to seek out his family. Sam is hiding something, but they don't know what. Tubbo learns about a part of himself he didn't know existed and is reminded of his past.

Part One

Part Thirteen

Masterlist

___________

Tommy woke up last a few days later to a soft trilling in the corners of his mind. He groaned- it was his turn for a thin day, apparently. He wasn’t surprised, he’d read that families tended to group their days close together. 

 He sat up and sighed. His thin days were always embarrassing, his stupid little bird brain always wanted to spend time with his family, and constantly wanted cuddles. Tommy didn’t want cuddles.

 Yes you do.

 Tommy huffed. No, he didn’t want cuddles. He wanted to get through the day without getting teased. Maybe he could just stay in his room all day. Yes, that was a good idea.

 Make a nest? His mind asked, getting excited.

 He rolled his eyes. Okay, maybe he could make a nest. That was relatively normal, right? His hands moved to grasp the blankets and shape them into a sort of circling wall, with enough space in the middle for him to curl up underneath his wings. He ignored the happy cooing that his mind wanted to release- he couldn’t just chirp and trill, that’d bring noise, and noise meant someone coming in, which meant embarrassment. He didn’t want that.

 Flock, The bird in him trilled sadly. Where’s your flock?

 “Busy,” Tommy grumbled, moving a wing to cover his face. “So shut the fuck up.”

 He stayed there, keeping the sounds at bay, for a long time. Too long.

 There was a knock at the door. “Hey, Tommy?” Ranboo asked. “Are you alright? It’s almost noon, and you never sleep in this long.”

 Tommy opened his mouth to say he was fine, but a distressed chirp escaped instead. He winced, hoping Ranboo didn’t hear it.

 “Uh, pardon?” Ranboo chuckled a little. “Can I come in?”

 He wanted to say no. But the part that wanted to say no was overpowered by his bird brain. Literally. “Yes.” He sighed reluctantly.

 When he walked in, Ranboo immediately spoke. “Aww, Tommy, is it a thin day?”

 He nodded miserably, forgetting that his wing was covering his face. 

 “Aw, Tommy, come on, most of us are in the living room.”

 His stupid bird sounds made him give out a happy trill, and then he cut it off with a grumble. “They’re gonna tease me.”

 Flock? Flock? 

 Ranboo lifted Tommy’s wing and stared at his face. “If I make them promise you aren’t going to say anything, will you come out? It’s not healthy to suppress this.”

 Tommy sighed. “Fine. But they need to promise to not take any photos for blackmail.”

 Ranboo left the room, which his mind didn’t like, but he sucked it up. Eventually, Ranboo came back and beckoned Tommy to follow him.

 When they got to the living room, he frowned. “Where’s Dad?”

 Flock? Where is the flock? Why is it not complete?

 “Prison.” Purpled sighed. “Something about making sure the prisoner didn’t die.”

 “That’s okay though,” Tubbo smiled. “We’re here! We’re enough, right?”

 Tommy’s frown deepened. “I guess.” He went over and flopped on top of whoever was on the couch. He wasn’t sure who, but someone started preening his wings and he let out a happy sigh that morphed into a purr. 

 All of them remained close to the living room for most of the morning, taking turns being near Tommy since his body radiated warmth and the house tended to be a bit colder (which didn’t make a whole lot of sense, since Sam liked warmth, but..). 

 Sam came back a little after lunch. 

 “What took you so long?” Fundy drawled, head hanging off of the couch and feet dangling over the back. “You got a secret girlfriend?”

 Sam had been drinking some water, and nearly spit it out. He was content to stick with choking on it, instead. “No,” He said weakly. “Nope, no girlfriend here. I just had a weird conversation with Dream and had to think about it a bit.”

 Everyone squinted at Sam for a moment, but Tommy interrupted by barreling into him. “Hi, dad.”

 “Hey, Tommy,” Sam smiled. “Your turn, huh?”

 Tommy chirped a bit, burrowing his head into Sam’s chest and letting his wings circle them both.

 “Who’s the clingy one now?” Tubbo mused from a chair. “Hint, it’s not me.”

 ________

 Sam was having an odd day. He hadn’t been lying when he said he’d gone to the prison, but Dream was being weird.

________

 “So, how’d those hybrid hunters end up?” Dream asked nonchalantly. 

 Sam turned. He was just about to leave, but… “You knew they were coming? And you didn’t warn us? I have the emergency contact button for a reason, Dream.”

 Dream chuckled. “I knew you wouldn’t have your device on, since you exploded, and well, I couldn’t be bothered to reach anyone else by now. Haven’t you learned, Sam, that I just don’t care?”

 Sam glared at him. “You’re lucky my boys took care of them. Tubbo and Purpled could’ve been killed, since humans are no use to the hunters.”

 “Humans?” Dream laughed again, before realizing Sam was serious. “Sam, no one on this server is completely human. I made sure of it.”

 “What?” Sam shook his head. “You’re saying they’re hybrids, too?”

 Dream was quiet. “I’ve already helped you enough. I think you’ve gotta give me something in return, if you want more.”

 “Alright. Be like that, then. See you next week.” Sam sighed, leaving the prison. His brain was muddled with thoughts.

 When were Tubbo and Purpled going to show their true colors? What hybrids were they? Was Dream even telling the truth?

 __________

 And, well… He took a detour before he got home, sure, but he hadn’t been lying when he said he didn’t have a girlfriend… but it felt weird keeping a secret, even if he’d been keeping it for a while.

 He had Tommy to think about before tonight… would he be able to leave the house? Tommy seemed pretty attached. 

 The day went by okay after he got home, to be fair. There was one incident where Tommy tried to get on top of the fridge to divebomb everyone since he was too tired to fly up, but Sam got him down. 

 Having a relatively tame Tommy was a nice change, but it was odd. Sam kinda wanted his energised son back, even if he was a little annoying at times. 

 At any rate, he’d made some half put together excuse as to why he needed to leave for the night, and planned on leaving through a hidden back door connected to his room once he was ready. He looked in the mirror and scrunched his face up. He hated wearing suits. He was more a sweatshirt type of guy, or he wore his mask when he was working, but never suits. Why was he doing this again?

 He patted down his- jacket? He wasn’t sure what it was called, but he straightened it (some part of his brain snorted at that), then fiddled with his tie.

 The door burst open before he could stop it, and then it was just Sam, in a fancy suit, staring at Tommy, both looking like deer in headlights.

 “Where you going, big man?” Tommy asked, less clingy than this morning as his human side was taking back more control. 

 Sam winced. He couldn’t lie to Tommy, even if he wanted to. Not directly. “I’ve uh, I’ve got a date.”

 Tommy lit up. “No kidding? Who’s the lucky lady?”

 “I’m gonna refrain from answering that.” Sam chuckled nervously. “Are you going to be alright while I’m gone?”

 “Are you crazy? We gotta tell the others so we can hype you up, and then we’re gonna meet our new mom!” (Sam didn’t know it, but Tommy’s mind was spamming flock)

 Sam’s eyes widened. “No, no, no, Tommy, I don’t think that’s a good idea-”

 It was too late. Tommy had already run down the hall, and Sam barely had time to sit down on his bed before the entire herd of his sons came barreling back, outraged that Sam had kept such a momentous secret from them.

 “Are you nervous?” Tubbo asked, towards the back of the group.

 Sam shrugged, “I mean, yeah, but-”

 Fundy grinned. “It’s gonna go great, dad. You’ve got nothing to worry about, she’s going to love you.”

 Sam cringed, “I, uh, I’m sure she will?”

 “Yeah! That’s the spirit!” Tommy cheered. “On the other hand, can we go meet her? I promise we won’t be weird.”

 “Can you promise that?” Ranboo teased. “But yeah, can we?”

 Sam sighed. “I mean, I guess,”

 “Do we have to put on suits?” Purpled complained, “Cause if we have to, I don’t wanna go.”

 “No,” Sam said, putting his head into his hands. “You don’t have to put on a suit.”

 “Hey hey hey,” Tommy said, sitting next to Sam on his bed, “Now is not the time to be sad. You are going on a date with a woman, and that is Pogchamp. Now is a time to celebrate. Let’s go, you’re going to be late, and you can’t be late if you’re going to absolutely win her over like I know you are.”

 “Thank guys,” Sam said, and he meant it a little. Now he had something to worry about other than his date. “You’re right, let’s go.”

 It was… an interesting walk. His boys were hyping him up, which he appreciated, but he was nervous. He had been hoping to wait a little longer to tell them. Of course they found out on one of his only dates after he’d adopted them all.

 Finally, after a stroll through the woods, they arrived at the place: a lovely little clearing with fairy lights that shone and twinkled as the sun set with a table in the center set in the middle. There was food, and candles, and it was all very romantic, but the boys weren’t focused on that. They were focused on the person who was standing by the table, in a suit, rose in hand.

 Purpled was the first one to speak. “Ponk?” He stepped closer and fell into a hug from the man who was, indeed, Ponk. “Is this really you?”

 “Yeah, Purp. It’s me. I’m sorry you had to go through all that you did alone.” Ponk said, surprisingly softly. “I wanted to see you, but Sam told me to let you heal a bit, first.”

 “Bitch.” Purpled said, but it was clear he was trying not to cry. “I missed you.”

 “I missed you, too. I thought you would’ve come to see me earlier.”

 Purpled shook his head, refusing to leave Ponk’s hug. “How could I? We just found out you guys were a thing today, I was too scared to visit you otherwise.”

 Ponk turned to Sam with an exasperated look. “Sam, I thought you said you were gonna tell them!”

 “Well, I had every intention to,” Sam said defensively, “but everyone kept getting hurt and it never seemed like the right time.”

 “Wait,” Tommy butted in, “How long have you guys been dating? I thought this was like, a first date type thing and that’s why he was so nervous.”

 “Aw, Sam! You were nervous?”

 Sam, in question, flushed a little. “I mean, how could I not be? You’re so amazing and all, I-”

 “How long?” Tommy asked loudly. “You aren’t answering my questions, and they need answering! Now!”

 “Well,” Ponk winced, “Sammy, you answer it. They should hear it from you.”

 “What do you mean we should hear it from Sam?” Tubbo asked. “How long has this been going on?”

 Purpled squinted at Ponk. “And why don’t you want to answer?”

 “A little over a year and a half.” Sam blurted out, and all eyes turned to him.

 “What?” Tommy cried out. “And we didn’t know? You’re our dad, you’re supposed to tell us these things!”

 Sam was at a loss for words. “I didn’t know you guys cared about my love life?” He tried as a weak response.

 “Of course we care,” Fundy argued. “We always care, and that’s why we came here to make sure that whoever you were dating was fit to be our other parent. We just… weren’t expecting Ponk.”

 “Who were you expecting?” Ponk asked, confused. 

 “Well, Tommy thought it was a girl.” Tubbo said, and Tommy tried to deny it.

 “You thought-” Ponk laughed. “You thought Sam was dating a girl?”

 “Sam didn’t say he wasn’t!” Tommy protested.

 It was quiet a moment longer, until Ponk interrupted it, arms still around Purpled. “Wait, Sam, your love life? You love me?”

 All eyes turned to Sam as he blushed furiously and scratched at the back of his head. “Well, I mean, you’re really funny and your smile is really cute, and I really like spending time with you…”

 Tommy glanced from Sam to Ponk, both blushing and looking at the ground bashfully, and groaned. “Oh, my god! We get it, you’re in love! Get a room.”

 The two adults both spluttered, trying to get a response, before Tommy spoke again. “Go ahead, say ‘i love you’ and all that gross mushy stuff. Pretend we’re not even here. I swear, we’re not gonna say anything. Just go for it.”

 “I mean,” Sam started, looking up at Ponk, “if you want to, of course I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, or anything...”

 “I love you.” Ponk blurted out.

 “I love you, too.” Sam responded breathlessly. “A lot. Like, probably too much.”

 Ponk hid his face a little, and held out his hand. “I, um, I got you a rose,” 

 “I saw. You’re adorable.”

 It was quiet, and Ranboo coughed a little. “C’mon, guys, they probably want us to leave. It’s their date, after all.”

 “Do we have to?” Purpled asked, “This is more entertaining than any movie we’ve watched, I wanna keep making them embarrassed.”

 “I agree with Ranboo,” Tommy said, “We should probably go. However, I also agree with Purp, because I want to stay.”

 Ponk shrugged. “I mean, I can woo Sammy here another day if you all wanna just go watch a movie, or something. Sam? You alright with that?”

 Sam had to admit he'd wanted a nice night with just him and Ponk, but part of his mind was worried for Tommy, since he was still going through a thin day. “Sure, I guess we can watch a movie tonight and do something else later.”

 So, they all walked back to Sam’s base, boys in front, politely pretending that they didn’t notice Sam and Ponk holding hands in the back. They didn’t want to notice it. They also pretended to not notice the little sweet whispers that the two exchanged, and the boys were starting to regret their decision to not leave the two alone.

 Despite that, they all watched a movie, huddled in a nest that Tommy had made. He stretched his wings around those that he could, but ultimately was content to just huddle up against Sam and sleep, instead of watching the movie. 

 Sam was curled up next to Ponk, which was a little odd considering the height difference, but they made it work. Sam wasn’t sure where the rest of his boys were in the nest.

 At some point that night, once it was late and it was just him and Ponk awake, he felt Ponk shift. 

 “Where are you going?” Sam asked sleepily, clutching the sweatshirt that he’d let Ponk borrow. “Why are you leaving?”

 “It’s late,” Ponk whispered. “I need to get home.”

 “No,” Sam pouted. “I don’t want you to go home. You should stay here for the night.”

 “I appreciate it, Sammy, but I really-”

 “I almost died a few days ago and you’re not going to do what I want?” Sam murmured, waking up slightly. 

 “Oh, Sam,” Ponk said, sadness weighing his voice down. “Don’t joke about that. You worried me, when you didn’t talk to me for a week, then I found out from Tubbo that the hunters were back. I was so worried that I’d get there too late, and you’d be gone. Hell, before I found out, I thought you were breaking up with me.”

 “I’d never do that. Don’t be sad.” Sam said tiredly, but Ponk wasn’t done.

 “And then, and then I found out this morning that you’d gone against some, some fucking god, and you won, and you’d adopted Purpled, and I found out all the shit that he’d gone through and how you reacted, and I’m scared.”

 “Of what? I’ll protect you, Ponkie.”

 “I’m scared that one day you’ll go up against some big bad villain and you won’t make it out alive, Sammy. You take on so much, and what if I can’t help you?”

 Sam looked up, and saw that Ponk was crying softly. “Oh, Ponk. I’m always going to come back, because I have a reason to. I’ve got you to come back to, I’ve got my boys. I’ll fight with everything I’ve got to make it out alive.”

 “But what if that isn't enough?” Ponk stressed. “I joke all the time, and I mess around, but I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

 “You won’t.” Sam assured him, pulling Ponk back into a hug. “Stay the night?” He asked again.

 “Okay,” Ponk relented, sniffling. “But I’ve got to go home in the morning. Are you going to let me go?”

 Sam smiled sleepily and pulled Ponk closer, burying his head in his shoulder. “No promises. I love you.”

 “I love you too, you big sap.”

 _______

 Tubbo woke up last the next morning. His head hurt, like he had a headache, and his mouth was dry. He wasn’t aware that he’d woken up last, as he was still curled up in the nest and didn’t really want to do… anything. His head hurt too much.

 He let out a little whine, burrowing his head into the blankets as the light hit his face.

 “Tubbo? You up, man?” Who was that? That was Tommy, right?

 “Tommy?” He murmured. “My head hurts.”

 The voice chuckled. “Not Tommy. I’m Ranboo. I dunno, you need an advil, or something?”

 “I don’t know,” Tubbo groaned. “Make it stop.”

 He heard a slight humming. “Maybe I should go get Sam.”

 “No,” Tubbo pouted, curling up even more. “Get Tommy. I want Tommy.”

 Footsteps echoed away from him, and Tubbo moved one of his arms under his head. His fingers brushed against his ear, and-

 “What?” He sat up, poking at the back of his ear, momentarily blocking out the pain of his head. “What?”

 Sam walked into the room, “What d’you mean? Anything wrong? Ranboo said your head hurt, or something.”

 “Sam,” Tubbo started, hands still covering his ears. “Why am I growing fur?”

 A look of sudden surprise was painted across Sam’s face before it settled on a grimace. “Well, Tubbo, you’re a hybrid.”

 Tubbo looked up quickly, wincing at the pounding in his head. “I’m a hybrid? How do you know?”

 “When I visited Dream he mentioned it,” Sam mumbled a bit, before speaking a little louder. “Anyway, it’s probably going to hurt. I’ll send someone to go grab Tommy, since most of us were born with our hybrid features rather than growing them.”

 Tubbo thought Sam spoke more, but he wasn’t listening. His head was still hurting, and the pain was still increasing. He wanted Tommy. He missed Tommy, where was he?

 How had he gotten on the couch? Was he crying? Oh. His head hurt a lot. “Tommy?” He sniffled, too far gone to hate how vulnerable his voice was.

 “I’m here, Tubs. I’m here.”

 “What’s going on?” He managed, trying to turn to his side but yelping when the pain spiked.

 “You’re probably growing something.” Tommy said nonchalantly, putting a hand into Tubbo’s hair. 

 Tommy’s hands put pressure on the side of his head. “Ow,” Tubbo cried, and Tommy rushed an apology. It was quiet for a moment. “What am I growing?”

 “I can’t tell yet.” Tommy hesitated. “Your ears look pretty cool, though. They’ve gotten all long and furry.”

 “My ears are furry?” Tubbo didn’t quite catch Tommy’s reply as he fell asleep despite the pounding in his head.

 _________

 The next time Tubbo woke up, he was alone. He was still on the couch, but daylight streamed through the windows and the house was silent. Where was everyone?

 His head felt much better, but his mouth was still dry, so he pried himself off of the blankets and padded into the kitchen for a glass of water. He turned the faucet on and yawned as the water poured out, reaching up to scratch his head.

 His hand hit something smooth and solid, right above his ear.

 Tubbo turned off the faucet as his eyebrows furrowed, walking over to the bathroom, glass still in his clutches. No one was in the halls, and he frowned as he pushed the bathroom door open. 

 His gaze raised to the mirror, and the glass slipped from his fingers to shatter on the ground. He didn’t register the water that soaked through his socks, but he stared, unblinking, as his eyes filled with tears. He stumbled backwards, yelping as he fell into the tub and sobs racked his body.

 “Tubbo?” Tommy’s voice called from down the hall. “I heard a crash, are you alright?” The voice got louder and Tubbo’s cries did, too. Tommy’s head popped through the door frame. “Tubbo?”

 In the corner of the shower, Tubbo was huddling with his legs pressed against his chest and head ducked down. When he spoke, it came out soft and trembling. “We promised.”

 “What?” Tommy started, but was cut off by Tubbo.

 “We promised that you wouldn’t be the next Wilbur, and I wouldn’t be the next Schlatt.”

 “Yeah?” Tommy said, tilting his head, crouching down in front of Tubbo and holding his hands out, palms up. “And we kept it. We’re fine, okay? We’re safe, and nothing is going to happen. Let’s get clean-”

 “Then why have I grown horns?” Tubbo cried, tears streaming down his face. “I was finally able to move on, and now I’ve got a permanent reminder of him. He promised he wasn’t my father, Tommy, but what if he really did lie about everything?”

 “Oh, Tubbo.” Tommy said softly. “Schlatt’s not your father.”

 “How can you be sure?” Tubbo asked, but he moved into Tommy’s arm for a hug. His chin rested on Tommy’s shoulder.

 “Because,” Tommy reasoned, “Your horns aren’t the same. His curved around his ears, right? Yours stick up a little. And your ears!” Tommy smiled, and lightly flicked one of Tubbo’s ears. “You’ve got some yellow fur growing. I’d bet good money that you’re a moobloom.”

 “You bet good money for stupid reasons, though, Tommy.” Tubbo murmured, falling asleep again as Tommy’s wings wrapped around him.

 Tommy went to reply, but Tubbo had fallen asleep. “You’re lucky that you’re my best friend, bitch.” He grumbled, picking up Tubbo to move him to the couch again. He’d clean up the bathroom too, but Tubbo was more important.

 His best friend was more important.

 Family was more important.

 More important than anything.

[soukokuwu]

heaven in hell

     genre: fluff      pairing: fyodor x reader      warnings: some religious references/themes; bonus points if you can see who i projected them both as      word count: 1.7k      synopsis: you and fyodor go through thick and thin together.      - requested by anonymous: fyodor with a childhood friend s/o who takes part in his murderous shenanigans — at one point she tells him: “it’s strange. when i’m with you, no matter how bad things get, i’m not afraid.”

White daffodils and crimson pomegranates.

Silk dresses and flower crowns.

That’s the sight that accompanied your beauty the first time he saw you. How old was he then? Eight? Nine? Somewhere there. He didn’t place much significance in that moment. How was he supposed to know then that you’d mean so much to him now?

The daughter of a wealthy family, someone who seemed to have everything. Everything but freedom. Even someone like you, who was constantly surrounded by people, must’ve felt lonely. The empty praises and fake kindness from those who surrounded you.

You hated it, Fyodor could see it. He had found you ravishing, and that was never a secret. That was what drew him in. At first. In all honesty he thought you’d be plain, a blank canvas in the mind, like a drone that only operated on commands.

But as he spoke to you that day, under the shade of the pomegranate trees, Fyodor found his expectations exceeded. The way you vocalised your opinions, the way you spoke of politics and disdain for the sinful nature of humanity. Then, only then, was Fyodor completely entranced.

Where he thought you grew flowers because you loved to see them grow, you admitted it was not; you liked to watch them fade and die. Like there was something worth admiring about a necessary death. A certain duality lived in you — like you could be the goddess of life, and yet at the same time, a ruler of all that was dead.

Fyodor found something in common with you that day. Both of you would kill for the sake of a better world, if only you had the means. That was the first time you spoke of him as that. It was when he confessed his perception of an ideal world — a world without ability users.

“Kill any one of them, that makes you a murderer,” you had commented once.

“But if I kill millions of them, that makes me a conqueror.”

You had turned toward him with a playful smirk then. “Kill all of them — that makes you a god.”

A wildflower — that was what he saw you as.

You grew from what you perceived as nothing. That house held no meaning, your choices were never actually yours to make and family was just an empty label tying blood relatives together. Where you used to be scared of going against your family, you stood up to them. Renounced everything they promised you, called them out for being nothing but self-fulfilling bastards.

You chose to run of your own accord, but that was not what your family spoke of. They spread rumours of how you had been seduced by evil, bribed by the demon, manipulated to leave your nest. They spoke of how you were stolen, not cast off. They were adamant on how you were dragged away from paradise and into hell. They omitted how you were the one who pounded on the its gates yourself just to escape the real devils parading as angels in their own personal form of ‘heaven’.

There was a sickness in them. Rising like the bile that leaves that bitter taste at the end of your throats. You hated it. And so you ran to him, to Fyodor, with only your hatred for such greed in tow. You had absolutely nothing. Yet ironically, with nothing to your name, you stumbled upon everything.

Whatever it was initially, it had bloomed into something more. Much akin to friendship on fire.

Only a beautiful soul such as yours would kiss the damned. That was how he viewed all ability users at first, and that included himself. But you? You didn’t have any — you were all human, pure, untainted, this way. You didn’t think of him as a damned being though. Much as you viewed certain deaths necessary, so were certain evils. And if Fyodor viewed himself as damned, you argued to put it to good use.

“You are not the devil, you are a god.”

You always reminded him of that. Until it was ingrained in his mind. And just like that, you became the most influential person in his life — the reason he does anything for the dream of a better world in the first place. Not only for himself, but also for you.

That’s why you followed him wherever he went. Fyodor deemed himself god and you were his one loyal, devoted follower. No — he viewed you as his goddess, one worthy of standing beside him as an equal. Although he does not say.

He was still doubtful you’d follow him away from Russia, leaving the safety of familiarity for foreign lands. Fyodor was preparing to leave you, to say farewell. But you showed up with your luggage in tow this time, carrying with you the smile he called home. He found it fascinating, how with each step toward him it’s like you brought springtime with you, and with each step away it felt more and more like winter. Lucky for him then, you’d always stick close to him.

You became his partner-in-crime, a goddess standing strong beside her god, the bride to his ruler of ‘hell’ (as they used to call him back at home — you were nothing like your parents though, you thought being with Fyodor was like heaven on earth), minus the deceptions because he could manipulate everyone, but he would never want to do that to you. Only you.

Every scheme, every murder. You had a hand in it. There were other subordinates, sure. But you were his right-hand man. There was no other he’d trust more than you. And you hid in the shadows, far deeper than any of them did.

But not for tomorrow. For tomorrow they needed a female. And you had volunteered.

Fyodor isn’t one to worry, much less one to admit it. Although you can always tell when something is off. Tonight is one of those times.

You’re on the balcony, looking out at the view before you. It’s a nightly routine for you, to stand here and just enjoy the song of the breeze, along with the choir of stars that blanketed the sky, seemingly endless. There’s something more tonight though — Fyodor. He’s right there behind you, bony, icy fingers nestling against your stomach, cheek resting against your back.

He’s the first to break the silence by calling your name.

“Yes, fedya?”

Fyodor exhales gently through his nose before he says anything, the warm air hitting the back of your neck now that he straightens up. “Мне так повезло́ тебя́ встре́тить,” he whispers in your ear.

He celebrates inwardly as he sees the smile creep up on your face. You’re trying not to grin silly, but you fail miserably the moment he leaves a chaste kiss on your earlobe. “I consider myself lucky to have met you too, Fyo.”

“Are you not worried, lyubimaya?”

He knows he is. He’s always preferred to keep you safe behind the screens, never let the enemy even know of your existence if he can help it. He’s not worried about whether you’re capable of carrying it out properly, no. He has the utmost confidence that you’re the best person for the job. As you did for the few previous times you had to help out. You’re intelligent, capable, tough. Perfectly able to kill anyone you had to. But you are also the only thing he is afraid of losing.

You turn around in his arms and cup his cheeks in your hands, giggling slightly as his cheeks grow rounder from being held. Your gaze shifts to his purple orbs, finding it endearing how you’re the only one who gets to see his hardened gazes melt into an earnest plea for answers.

Fyodor can’t help it; the way his vision wanders to your body — your torso. He only has to furrow his brow ever so slightly for you to know exactly what’s on his mind: the last time you went on a mission, how you had severely underestimated the enemy, how they had stabbed you and nearly killed you. Not a day goes by that Fyodor doesn’t think about it. The man is dead now, yes, but he can’t get the sight of your scar out of his mind. A reminder of how he had failed to protect you.

“It's strange. When I'm with you, no matter how bad things get, I'm not afraid.”

Your words snap him out of it. He swallows the lump in his throat. He appreciates your attempt at easing his worries, you can see that from the slight pink tainting his pale skin. His thumb rubs over the spot of your scar through your shirt.

They say that when you lose someone, you’ll only ever regret the things you don’t say. Is this what he’s feeling now? The taste of loss — however false it may have been now since you’re safe and alive — is still fresh on his tongue. Nothing will stop either of you from continuing with this. So maybe, this is the least he can do, isn’t it? Let you in? After all, you’ve been with him for as long as he can remember.

“Я хочу́ провести́ с тобо́й всю оста́вшуюся жизнь,” he mutters with a serious expression before he releases you from his embrace and turns around. “So you better not fail tomorrow.”

As he disappears back into the room, you lean back against the railing and smile to yourself. Over time you got used to his shows of affection. People who knew always commented on how he doesn’t show enough — but to you he shows plenty. Fyodor has never said he loves you. It’s always said in a roundabout way because that’s just who he is.

But what you heard earlier? That must be the best one yet.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you too, Fyo,” you whisper after him into the night. Because you’ve never said you love him either. But just like you, he already knows.

tags: @yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes

[justanotherlifeff]

Heyo!! Saw the ask thing and wanted to shoot my shot. Blasty boi with a dragon like reader? She’s got the big wings, tail and horns? She’s got a kickass attitude and doesn’t back down. Kinda a butch female? (I’m tired of seeing soft and shy readers with Bakugou) ((plus I love dragons)) with something fluffy yet kinda suggestive?? I just recently started fallowing you and I absolutely love your writing❤️❤️

Bracelet

Warnings: Suggestive content, fingering, swearing

To say that Bakugou and you hated eachother ever since the moment you stepped into class 1A would be an understatement. With your powerful quirk, your confident and outspoken attitude, your natural talent when it came to education and using your quirk, you pissed the hell off him. Your quirk was called "dragon", which was pretty much self explanatory since you had all the abilities of a dragon. Starting from having large scaly red wings, tiny horns on your head, a tail and most importantly, the ability to breathe fire, you were what he'd call a rival. Unlike Deku, you weren’t a pushover, which made him more pissed since you challenged him almost all the time. On the first day at UA, you came to class early like a good student, called him out infront of the entire class completely embarrassing the shit out of him when he made a mistake during math class, and when he threatened to kill you, for good measure, starting a fight with him in the middle of the classroom. You never gave him a chance to see you as an extra from day 1 and he was convinced that if there was someone he hated as much as Deku, it had to be you. This is why, he was left completely confused by why he was buying the shitty bracelet that you were gawking at for you just because you looked sad.

You hated Bakugou with a passion as well. You may be as outspoken as Bakugou himself but unlike the explosive boy, you directed that attitude in a good path. While Bakugou was like an explosion that would destroy anything in his path, you were like a warm and steady, yet a strong fire that could cause burn everything in it's way as well as attract bugs towards it. You were friendly with almost everyone in class except Bakugou as your personalities seemed to clash like fire and water. You were always protecting Midoriya from his wrath and it seemed that the two of you fought in a daily basis, sometimes things getting out of hand and quirks being used before you were stopped by Aizawa sensei. That's why you were confused about why you found yourself getting closer to him, staring at him only to find him more attractive everyday and trying to know him better.

Your rivalry with Bakugou was going at a constantly normal pace till the dormitories were introduced into UA. While you were happy to spend more time with your friends at school, you definitely weren’t happy with the fact that you would have to live under the same roof as the asshole you had come to hate. However, ever since Bakugou was kidnapped, while he was still as explosive as ever, it seemed like he was humbled to some extent. It started with the day when Bakugou made Kaminari fry his brain to take money from him only to give it to Kirishima just to improve Kirishima's mood. You had never seen Bakugou care about someone's feelings and this sudden act of kindness within him made you feel unsettled. "There's always exceptions" you told yourself to push it off your mind and to continue seeing him as a rival. However, he proved you wrong. Every time he cooked, he always 'accidentally' made extra food for everyone, including you. You saw how skilled he was at cooking and anyone could see through his bullshit. You found him complaining about how everyone are stupid extras but then again, he would tutor them, shout at them if necessary only to ensure that they get good grades. Living under the same roof as Bakugou Katsuki made you realise that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t an asshole. As you finally came to accept that new information, you found yourself noticing how attractive he actually was. You found your eyes trailing his perfect jaw, his lean yet muscular body and most importantly, the way those muscles flexed every time he moved. While the two of you bickered daily as usual, things suddenly weren’t the same anymore. The typical, arguments that went like this:

"You scaly bitch! You wanna fight hah?!"

"Is that a fucking invitation blasty bastard?! Cause I'm gonna fucking incinerate you!"

"DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

"I'LL CALL YOU WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT BLASTY BASTARD!"

"DIE!"

Turned into something like:

"You wanna fight huh princess?! I'll show you how a fucking hero fights like you insufferable brat!"

"Come at me Blasty! Hero my ass... I bet you don't even have the balls of a normal person!"

"Well well, bet you wanna know how my balls look like huh Princess? I've got bigger ones than in your imagination unlike that miserable excuse of your ass."

"So you’ve been ogling my ass?"

"DIE!!!"

Basically, the fights included less insults and got more sexual including loads of blushing and teasing out of nowhere. While you were finding Bakugou more attractive each day, it was no different for Bakugou either. It started when you offered to help Bakugou take the trash out when he was under house arrest after the fight with Midoriya. While you disapproved the fact that they fought like complete immature dumbasses after curfews, you admired the fact that Bakugou admitted to throwing the first punch even if it meant more punishments for him. Which is why, you decided to help him out when everyone brought too many trash for him to carry in one go. Ofcourse, he rejected the offer at first, assuming that you doubted his strength but then he decided to accept your help when you insisted, surprising you as you didn't expect him to take any help no matter how much you insisted. You decided take notes for both Midoriya and Bakugou since they weren’t allowed to go to class and Bakugou surprisingly found the doodles you made on the corners of the pages cute. He also found himself glancing at you more than usual, taking in how cute your horns looked like, how your tail wagged when you were happy or excired or drooped when you were sad much like a dog, how you always had an eye for shiny objects and how much money you wasted on buying anything that was shiny (like a dragon). He found himself throwing away any shiny key chains that he owned or bought only a day back infront of you, only to find you grumbling about how anyone can throw away something so 'pretty' and picking it up and stuffing it in your pocket. He would never admit how cute you looked pouting when he did things like that.

With time, the mutual pining between you and Bakugou were getting so obvious that Bakusquad decided to 'interfere'. Since you were friends with everyone, when Bakusquad asked you to hang out in one of the food stalls during the School Festival after 1A's performance was over, you immediately accepted their invitation. You weren’t in the band as you had no idea on how to play any instrument. Instead, you were on the dance team as you were pretty good at dancing and Mina pretty much dubbed the two of you as the "horned duo". This also gave Bakugou a good opportunity to stare at your ass for as long as he liked because unlike his statement, he found your ass amazing. After the performance was over, you went to Mina to ask about when they all were going, only to have her inform you that there was a 'change of plans' and they were going to see the fashion show but since Bakugou wasn’t gonna go with them, you could go to the food stalls with him. You forgave Mina before she started profusely apologising, further to make her claims seem true and went to find Bakugou. At the same time, Bakugou was informed the exactly same information from Kirishima not too long ago and was currently looking for you.

When the two of you found eachother, you mentioned the issue while he only grunted in approval to your blunt invitation on going to the food stalls with him. "How the actual fuck do you even eat that shit? I don't think even Satan can eat that without having his ass burn while shitting cause this is basically is stuffed with spice..." you spoke in disbelief when Bakugou poured the fifth packet of spice powder on his ramen. "Shut the fuck up you weak ass. Just cause you don't have the guts to eat like normal people doesn’t mean others can't. Besides, who even eats sweet shit like that?" Bakugou barked at you as he mixed all that spice into his ramen, pointing at the blueberry cheesecake infront of you. "You call that normal, Blasty boi? Pretty sure you’ll have explosive diarrhoea after eating that." you scoffed, eating a spoonful of your cheesecake. "YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT DIARRHOEA WHILE YOU’RE EATING YOU SHITTY BRAT!" Bakugou barked at you while letting off small explosions in his hands. "Calm your balls damn!!" you told him looking at him with an incredulous expression. "You really are interested in my balls aren’t you princess?" you found him giving you a teasing smirk. "DIE!!" you barked at him only to have him bark back saying, "THAT'S MY LINE YOU FUCKING PHOTOCOPY MACHINE!!!"

After you were done with your food and filled your bickering quota for the day, you were walking with Bakugou infront of the stalls in the carnival set up in the school festival as Bakugou grumbled about how shitty women doing shitty shopping. That's when something incredibly shiny suddenly caught your eye. You immediately ran to the store, irritating Bakugou even more. "Stop running around you stupid brat!" Bakugou shouted at you as he followed you into the store. "Sorry that you can't keep up, grandpa." you answered teasing him only to get him more mad. It was a bracelet that caught your attention. It was shiny and fashionable and it just screamed at you to buy it. Unfortunately, when you opened your wallet, you found it to be completely empty except for a few coins. As you looked at the bracelet with a longing expression with a pout on your face as your tail drooped down showing that you were sad, Bakugou suddenly felt a pang at his heart. He felt a sudden need to buy that worthless piece of crap for you only for you to go back to your usual cheerful and annoying self. "Damnit... I spent all my money on that cheesecake... Anyway, we'll be late for 1B's show. Let's go?" you looked at Bakugo with the same sad expression. "You go on ahead. I'll have to buy some stuff for shitty hair." Bakugou grumbled. "Huhhhh??? The Bakugou Katsuki doing shopping? I NEED TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS RARE AND HILARIOUS THING!" you made a dramatic expression as you took out your phone to take a picture. "GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE I BLAST YOUR ASS!" Bakugou barked, making you laugh as you winked at him and said, "Still ogling at my ass huh?" before you ran off leaving Bakugou a flustered seething mess.

Bakugou barely ever used his money. He almost never ate out because whatever he cooked by himself was usually always better than what any restaurant can possibly make. He didn’t have to buy clothes cause his parents were fashion designers and he always got free fashionable clothes from them whenever he asked for it. He barely ever went out since he always used his free time for extra training or to watch TV or cook for his shitty friends. This is why he had a huge amount of savings that he made from his monthly allowance which allowed him to buy the bracelet without any issue. However, after he bought it, reality stuck him and he had no idea on how to give it to you without you whipping up a way to tease him. Reluctantly, he decided to keep the bracelet with him until he found a way to give it to you in a way where you wouldn’t have the floor to insinuate that he had feelings for you. Because he didn't. Atleast that's what he told himself. However, when he made his way to class 1B's programme, he found you with someone else. Someone who was way too close to you. Someone who happened to be the Icyhot bastard or Todoroki Shouto.

Bakugou felt the need to blow something up when he found Todoroki putting an arm around your waist, with you blushing furiously as he pulled you closer. "You know, Bakugou, you’ll probably lose her if you don't make a move." Bakugou felt a hand on his shoulder as he heard Kirishima sigh, standing beside him. This broke any sort of self control he had on himself as he charged towards you and Todoroki, grabbed your hand and pulled you out of whatever shitshow 1B was presenting all while giving Todoroki a death glare. What he didn't know was that all of it was a part of Bakusquad's plan.

"Bakugou! What the fuck? Stop pulling me dammit! What's wrong with you?!" your equally surprised and irritated voice was ignored till he pulled you a corner near the backstage of the stupid show 1B was pulling. "Is there anything between you and Icyhot?" Bakugou asked you with a glare. "What? No! He's a good friend. Why do you ask? Are you interested or someth...." your teasing voice was cut off with a rough kiss that made your eyes widen. Bakugou was kissing you, pinning you to the wall behind you and you could hardly register the fact. You were so sure that he hated your guts. You accepted the fact that you had a crush on him not too long ago but you decided to keep it to yourself since he already hated your guts and you decided that he can't possibly be interested in you in that way. When Bakugou finally broke the kiss, you looked at him with shock while he looked plain pissed. "No one's gonna just go ahead and touch you like that except me. Get that in your stupid head of yours. Do you have any fucking idea on what you do to me? You drive me fucking insane! I swear to God I wanted to break that damn Icyhot bastard's hands!" Bakugou barked at you still pinning you to the wall. "Wait wait wait... You like me?" you asked him, completely surprised by everything. "Wow you really have shit for brains don't you? Take a hint dumbass." Bakugou sneered at you. "Wow... Okay? Uh... I kinda like you too." you answered with a sheepish smile. "Damn right you do! I'm the fucking best!" Bakugou gave you a confident smirk at that. "Are you though? Wasn’t I the one 'doing things to you'? Doesn't that make me better?" you teased him, angering him. "Don't you have a smart fucking mouth.." he scoffed, looking away. "Admit it Bakugou, you love it. Why don't you show me the 'things I do to you'? Then maybe we can decide on who's better." you told him cheekily only to have him give you a devilish smirk. "You wanna see that? Well, your wish is my command, Princess." he muttered at your ear before pulling you into a passionate kiss while his hands travelled all over your body, squeezing your breasts and your ass. "Knew you had a thing for my ass..." you muttered between the kiss only to have you bark at you saying, "Don't ruin the damn moment dumbass!".

His kisses took your breathe away and just when you felt like things couldn't get better, you felt his fingers pulling at your panties, moving it from the way to have him press his fingers on your bare pussy, making you yelp in his mouth. At this point, your knees were wobbly and you were holding onto Bakugou for support. When his fingers started kneading your clit, you let out a tiny whimper in his mouth, making him smirk as he broke the kiss to whisper in your ear, " not being a smartass anymore huh?" with a husky tone. To that, you bit his neck softly in protest while trying to muffle your soft moans. With a groan, Bakugou said, "You're trying to mark me up huh baby? Well, then I'll do the same." and he attacked your throat, leaving hickeys as his two of his fingers finally entered your pussy, curling into you as it pumped in and out vigorously, making you come undone as you held onto him for dear life. "Bakugou... Please..." you gasped softly, trying to control your voice as you were closer to your release with every pump. "Call me Katsuki, (Y/N). Please what?" Bakugou whispered into your year in a husky tone. "Wanna cum.. Please Katsuki..." you moaned softly as you hid your face in the crook of his neck to muffle your moans. Bakugou increased his speed, as he whispered, "Good girl. Cum all over my fingers." into your ears, making you do what he said in a matter of moments. After holding your breath and finding some strength to your feet, you pulled away from Bakugou with a deep blush on your face due to everything that happened moments ago and also because you didn't fail to feel the bulge in his pants during the entire process. "I'm not done with you yet, (Y/N). I'm not gonna fuck you in public so we are going to the dorms now. We'll meet up with those extras later." Bakugou huffed as he pulled a packet out from his pocket. He tore the packet to bring out the shiny bracelet you saw earlier and then he pulled your hand towards him roughly before slipping the bracelet on you. "You.. You bought this for me?" you looked at him, shocked at his sudden softness. "Tch.. Don't mention it. Come on now." Bakugou muttered as he walked towards the dorm with you following him. "Damn you really turned into a softie didn't you?" you teased him on your way only to have him bark at you saying, "DIE!!"

Bonus (cause this is the first ask I've ever gotten and cause I have a thing for Bakugou):

"Oi Todoroki, we need your help in setting Bakugou and (L/N) together." Kirishima told Todoroki as the two of them were sitting on the dining table at midnight. When Kirishima asked Todoroki to meet up because of a 'top secret plan', Todoroki definitely didn't expect this. "They have a thing for eachother?" Todoroki asked Kirishima, almost making Kirishima facepalm himself. Todoroki was the only other person who was oblivious to all the pining going on except for Bakugou and you yourself. "Yeah, it's kinda obvious by now." Kirishima chuckled nervously as he scratched his head. "This plan of yours, will it piss Bakugou off?" Todoroki asked Kirishima with a blank face. "Uh.. Yeah? I mean, he seems the possessive type..." Kirishima answered only to see a mischievous smile form on Todoroki's face. "I'll help. Please explain the plan." Todoroki told Kirishima at that.

[Author's note: I've never done asks before so I hope this was good enough!]

[twilight-hogwarts]

Friends at last

AN: We all know James and Lily got together on their 7th year but I feel like they would have became friends before that and in my head James would have mature a lot during the summer before their 6th year when Sirius went to live with the Potters because that was when the reality of the imminent war against Voldemort finally hit him hard. So here is how I think Lily and James finally became friends. (I might continue this.)

 Lily`s 6th year at Hogwarts have been quite different from the last five. She used to spend a lot of her free time in the library or on the grounds with Severus but now that she wasn’t friends with him anymore she started to hang out in the Gryffindor common room and was constantly with her house friends. She was always been especially close to Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes, but now she was also spending more time with Alice Westenberg and Mary Longbottom too. Lily was always fond of the two others girls who shared their dorm and was happy to have became closer to them.

The only down side to it was that spending more time with them in common room meant to spend more time with the boys from Gryffindor`s 6th year. After all they were all good friend. Marlene and Dorcas seem to always hang out with the four pranksters. But Lily soon found out that being around them wasn’t as bad as she tought.

She never minded being around Remus, she has always considered him a friend and the most mature one in the group. Since they both became prefects, the year before, they grown even closer and were now really good friends. So she was glad to spend more time with him and at first she thought that whenever the boys were around she`d just talk to Remus and ignored the rest of them, but soon she realize that would not be possible and that it wasn’t exactly a bad thing.

She also never minded Peter much, he was a shy boy that laughed and admired everything the others boys did, he had always been nice to her, and very soon she found herself helping Peter with his charms homework and actually laughing with him about something Sirius had said.

What really surprised when she started liking Sirius. At first she really tried to keep a safe distance but since she was spending more time with Remus that automatically meant more time around Sirius, who she always tought that he was James` shadow when in fact he never seemed to live Remus by himself.

For her, James and Sirius has always been worse than the other two, she knew they were the minds behind the pranks and the adventures of rule breaking. She also hated the fact that they were excellent students, even tho they were constantly disturbing classes with their funny remarks and pratical jokes, somehow everyone seemed admired them, even the teachers loved them, no matter how many detentions they got, James and Sirius had the entire school at their feet. But soon she realized they weren’t that bad. She didn’t know if it was because she never spent that much time around them or if something had changed but she found herself laughing at their jokes and not minding at all being around them. Lily did not loved Sirius and James as much as the rest of the school, but now she finally understood what their appeal was and why such nice boys like Remus and Peter were friends with them.

She came to that realization on a late Wednesday night in the end of September, all the sixth years were siting close together in the common room doing their large amount of homework in silence, when Remus suddenly closed his heavy book of Advanced Transfiguration and said “I give up” under his breath, Sirius immediately started saying it was the end of the times in a loud voice like he was a minister on a Sunday service, James followed suit and got on his knees screaming “hallelujah”, soon everyone was laughing, even a couple of seventh years who were sitting in the other end of the room. But instead of continuing the joke like Lily thought he would, James stood up to sit beside Remus to help him out with his late essay for Mcgonagall, since he had lost a couple of important classes that week because he was “sick”.

That was something that Lily started noticing: the way Sirius, James and Peter treated Remus, and it made her change the way she saw the boys. She knew about Remus secret, she knew why he was always getting sick, missing classes sometimes and almost sleep walking for a couple of days after a full moon. She had never openly talked about it with him but she had a hunch that he knew she knew since she was constantly covering for him on prefects duties. She had notice in the pasts years how the boys would visit him in the hospital wing and get his homework for him but she never really notice how very protective they were of Remus, how whenever he was looking a bit miserable they would find a way to make him laugh, how Sirius and Peter was always handing him chocolate and how he seemed to accept it without even noticing. How Sirius, just the day before, when Remus came back from the hospital wing, let him fall asleep on his shoulder,  and how James, sitting on the other side of the sleeping boy, took his hand to Remus’ forehead to measure his temperature and took of his robe to cover his sleeping friend with it. In all fairness she had also seen them piling up objects on top of a sleeping Remus a couple of time, but they seem to had a understanding on when not to do it.

Lily started noticing little things like that as if to justify to herself why she didn’t mind being around them anymore. So she notice the little things, she notice when James during the first week of term helped a group of first years to find their way to class (although Lily only payed attention in case James was giving them a wrong direction as a joke), she saw when James stopped two second years from dueling in the middle of the entrance hall, she saw when Severus called Remus a bad name and was surprised to see James telling them to ignore him only to see Sirius losing his patience and hexing Snape and finally she notice how James hasn’t ask her out once that year. He had of course flirted with her, but after seeing him winking and saying “thank you, gorgeous” to Alice as she passed him the mashed potatoes and later in class seeing him blowing a kiss at Mcgonagall after she congratulated him on his perfect transfiguration of a rock into a pillow, she realized that was how he talked with every women. Actually flirting with Mcgonagall seemed to be a inner competition between him and Sirius, although Black had more practice since he always flirted with all the other teachers trying to come out of detentions (something that, according to James, made him lost point with Mcgonagall for cheating on her). So after a few weeks Lily started to relax around them just enough to stop hating him and Sirius, and eve laugh a bit of their jokes.

In mid October Lily finally gave in and fully admitted to herself that she actually liked Sirius. They started talking a lot about muggle music, after he saw her with a t-shirt from a band he liked, then they started talking muggle books, movies and Lily was very surprised to see  that he knew so much about the muggle world. Eventually their conversations grew into more deep meaningful stuff. They would talk about politics, Voldemort and the imminent war, James and Remus were also very passionate and opinionated about that and had similar views to Lily’s (she also notice they were not afraid to say Voldermort`s name), but Sirius was by far the most opinionated about the subject and seemed ready to fight anyone who said anything remotely unpleasant  about muggle borns.

After some time they started talking about families and shared their complicated relationship with their siblings, Lily was a bit surprised to found out that Sirius had left his parents house, and was know living with the Potters, because of his family sympathy toward Voldemort. She knew Sirius was quite different from the rest of his pure blood family but never imagined he would go to such lengths. That made her admire him a bit and she was now happy to call Sirius Black her friend.

James was the last one she warm up to. She would talk to him, laugh of a few of his jokes and he had even helped her with a particular hard transfiguration homework but she would still keep some distance in a way to guarantee that he wouldn’t ask her out. Finally in the end of November, on a full moon, something happened that made it impossible for them not to be friends. Lily was laying in the sofa close to the fire reading a novel all by herself very late at night, almost early morning, on a Friday when the Fat Lady portrait opened up and James being support by Peter stumbled over the hole with his left arm bleeding and his shirt cut open from his shoulder blades to the wrist. Lily stood up immediately and asked:

“Oh my God!! What happened??”

The two boys did not notice she was there and were surprised to see someone awake in the communal room at that time of night.

“Err” Peter looked at James who lost the little bit of color he still had on his face.

“Sleepwalking” said James “I was sleep walking and Peter came to recue me.”

“Exactly” confirmed Peter “woke up for a bit of water and saw James crossing the grounds thru my window so-” but he looked at James and the face his friend was giving him made him stop talking.

“What happens to you arm?” Asked Lily

“I got hurt.”

“I can see that.” She said rising her eyebrows. “How?”

James seemed to be having a hard time finding the right words. So he surprised himself when he told her the truth.

“The Whomping Willow. Got to close to it and never saw it coming.”

“You should go to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey will sort you out in a second” the girl suggested.

“No” the two boys said together a bit to fast.

“I can’t.” said Potter “I don’t want to lose anymore point or get another detention. Please don`t give us in. It’s just a small cut I’ll sort it out myself.” He looked at her with pleasing eyes.

“Have you looked at your arm? It looks pretty bad. You need more than a band aid.” She said still debating with she should insist on taking him to the hospital wing.

“I’ll be fine. Just don’t say anything. Please, Evans?”

“I won’t. I promise.” Lily wasn’t sure why she agreed to that so fast and suddenly remembered what day of the month it was and regretted making that promise. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to Madam Pomfrey? You don’t want that getting infected.”

“I’ll be fine.” Said James and they started walking towards the stairs to their dorm but Lily suddenly moved to get in the way.

“Wait a second. I have something that might help. Sit down and wait here.” she ran up stairs to get her medicinal potions kit thinking it was a really great idea to do the extra medicinal potions class with Madam Pomfrey like Professor Slughorn had suggested. When she came down James was sitting on the sofa with his eyes closed and Peter beside him looking at his bleeding arm. She sat in front of them on the coffee table.

“Let me had a look. I’m no healer but I happen to know how to bread Madam Pomfrey healing potion. It will help with the pain, it will heal faster and avoid an infection. That’s the best I can do.” She said while examining his arm.

James looked at her like she had grow a second head. He had been avoiding being a prick with Lily like Remus told him and they have been spending time around each other without her wanting to hex his head off, but they were not exactly friends. Actually, James didn’t said anything to anyone but now he was a bit frustrated that Lily seemed to became good friends with everyone but him. So he was a bit surprised that she was so promptly to help him.

“But, with you want me to help we have to find a empty classroom.” she continued pretending not to notice his shock.

Lily and Peter helped him up and the three of them reached a classroom in the end of the hallway, Lily made him sit down on a table and started sorting out the ingredients.

“You can go back to bed Peter.” said James. “Let Remus and Sirius know where I am in case they wake up.” he gave  a meaningful look to his friend.

“Yeah. I’ll let them know.”And slowly backed away to the door.

Lily ignored that and continued to prepare the potion without looking at their direction. She knew Remus was not sleeping in the Gryffindor tower tonight.

After Peter closed the door James looked intensely to Lily observing the girl work her way thru the potion. They kept silence for a while, but after some time Lily found his staring a bit too distracting and she finally asked “Lost something, Potter?”

“Sorry.” James looked down with a tiny smile. “I’m just trying to understand why are you helping me.”

She gave him a half smile. “You rather I let you bleed to death? That can be arranged.” She looked at him and without waiting for an answer she said. “Excuse me, I have to clean you wound and I’ll need cut shirt to clean the wound.”

“Oh right. Let me just...” James moved on the table he was sitting and cringing he slowly removed his shirt trying not to touch or move his left arm that much. “I think it’s just better to take it off because I think it got a bit of my neck too.”

He moved to show his back to Lily and she saw there were three gashes, one that went from the base of the back of his neck to the tip of his shoulder, the other close to his elbow and a very deep one on his forearm. For Lily despair she noticed that they looked like animal scratches.

“James” Lily took a deep breath “are you sure this was made by the tree right? That wasn’t an animal or anything like that?”

“What? No, no, it wasn’t an animal.”

“Because if it was an animal you have to tell me. Because with we use the wrong potion it will be worse.” Lily looked right into James eyes trying to pass him the seriousness of the situation.

“I promise you, Evans, it was not an animal.” He looked back at her eyes trying to show her that he was telling the truth. He tought he had memorized every detail of Lily`s face by that point but by looking into her eyes he noticed how intensely green her eyes were.

“Okay.” She turned her attention to the wounds and his arm.

They didn’t say anything for some time. But Lily’s curiosity took the best of her.

“Where were you tonight?” She asked.

“I.. hmm I was sleeping walking… like a said. Woke up with that freaking tree throwing me to the ground.” But she noticed how when he said that he looked down to his lap.

“Fine. You don’t need to tell me the truth. But if you were putting yourself in danger by trying to be a good friend please don’t do that again.”

He looked up at her. They looked at each other for a few seconds and Lily wanting to make sure he was receiving the message completed said: “Imagine how Remus would few if he hurt you.” With that James confirmed his suspicions: Lily knew about Remus.

“You know.” he said, it was not a question.

“I know.” Lily confirmed

“How? When? Does he know you know?”

“We never openly talked about it but I think he knows I know.”

“How? Since When?” Repeated James.

“I had my suspicions since our third year. But I was only sure about it last year when I could no longer ignore the facts.”

“Snape told you?”

“What? No! Severus knows? How?”

“He saw it, long story, but Dumbledore made him promise not to tell anyone.” James said.

“He never said anything to me. That was one of the reasons I never gave my suspicions a second tought, didn’t want to feed Sev’s obsession. But after spending so much time together during prefects duties it was impossible to ignore so I figured I was right and started covering up for him.” Lily explained.

“You don`t mind?” Lily looked confused so he continued “that he’s a...”

“No” Lily cut him off, sounding a bit offended “I like people for their character not for their blood status.”

“I didn’t mean... of course not. I just... I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that” James looked down a bit ashamed for being so surprise that Lily would be okay with it.

“It’s okay. It’s just... I always liked Remus, he has always been a friend and I’m a muggle born so I don’t really understand where wizards prejudice against werewolves comes from. It’s not like anyone would choose that.” She started to clean his wound. “Let me clean that while we wait for the potion to chill.” She finished cleaning his arm in silence put the dirty cottons aside, turned on her back to lean into the table James was sitting. “So how long have you know?” James hesitated, Lily felt like she had cross over some line but wasn’t sure how. “Sorry you don’t need to answer that.”

“It’s not that.” James said. “It’s just weird to talk about it with anyone outside our bubble.”

“I get it you don’t need to say anything. Look I think the potion it’s fine now, it won’t burn your arm.” Lily said putting her finger on the caldron and started applying the potion on his injured arm, making him flinch a bit.

“We’ve known since our first year. It’s impossible not to notice certain things when you share a dorm. Remus was so relieved when we told him we knew and did not care about it.” He took a deep breath and continued. “We just want to make things easier for him. We are not putting ourselves in danger. We just like to be there when it’s over, give him company until Madam Pomfrey comes to collect him.” He finished and actually felt relieved to have told her the truth. Lily was looking at him like she had never seen his face before. He misunderstood the look. “Please, Evans, don’t tell anyone that. I promise we are not in danger. We just want Remus to see some familiar faces when all is over. Please, Lily, don’t tell anyone.” The despair on the boy face was such that Lily, who had a lot of questions about the logistics of the whole thing nodded and said “Don’t worry. I won’t say a thing. Like I said, I like Remus.” She said with the last part with a smile. “Just promise me the worst that can happen is being attacked by the Whomping Willow”

“I promise” James said but Lily notice he looked down to his lap when he said that.

They sat quiet for a moment, Lily applying the potion carefully on his arm, then James remembered something. “I haven`t thank you.” He said. “Oh… don`t worry about that-“ Lily tried to say but James cut her off. “Thank you, Evans. Truly, I appreciate it more than you know.” He finish and noticed she had gone a lovely shade of pink.

He also figured that, since her was alone with her and that did not happen very often, it was the perfect moment to do something Remus told him to do weeks ago. “Also, I believe I owe you an apologize.” James said making Lily look quite confused.

“What for? May I ask?”

“Well, mainly for being a prick to you. It has been brought to my attention that the way I handled my crush on you wasn`t the most chivalries.” He said with an ironic smile. “In my defense I was stupid and was trying to make you notice me in any way I could. Anyway… I am sorry and I won`t treat like that again.” Lily had stopped working on his arm and was looking at him like he had grown a second head. “What is it? What`s wrong?”He asked when he saw the look on her face.

“Nothing. I… just… Well, I`m impressed.” She said and with a smile on her face she continued. “I mean, James Potter apologizing… Wow… That`s not something you see very often.” Lily gave a small chuckle.

“Oh shut up, Evans.” He said smiling and chuckled along with her.

“No, but seriously, why are you apologizing? What...” She stopped talking not knowing how to ask that in a nice way.

“What made me grow out of my big head?” He continued her question for her, smiling. “Well, mostly, Remus. But I`m not really sure what made me finally listen to him.”

“Remind me of thanking him sometime.” Lily said. “Jokes aside, I noticed you matured a lot since last term, and I don`t mean just the whole harassing me thing.”

“Harassing is a really strong word…” James said timidly.

“You know what I mean. Anyway, you haven`t been bullying anyone just for fun anymore and I swear I saw you telling off a couple of first years for trying dueling each other. In all I`m just really glad that I can be around you without wanting to hex your head off.” She finished.

“I`m very glad about that too.” James said smiling. “And I really am sorry for the harassing thing.”

“No worries, Potter.” Said Lily while wrapping his arm on bandages.

“So… Friends?” He asked with a shy crooked smile.

“Friends.” She confirmed, finishing wrapping his arm and standing a hand to shake his.

[rosethi]

s2e09 Kyoru SO MANY FEELS and HOLY I just realized Kana+Hatori (Kanatori?) is a foil to Kyoru

I have waited so many years for this adaptation so here’s all the brilliant things that I’m crying about (a lot of them things that I’ve seen other people mention!) 

Also in the midst of editing this I finally realized why Kana was written so similarly to Tohru, and how Kanatori’s past tragedy is a perfect foil to Kyoru. Everyone loves how tragically romantic their story is and rightfully blames Akito for ruining their happiness, but it is much harder to see the dark messages about their relationship that is subtlely conveyed through contrast with Kyoru.

First, the resemblances:

Kind-hearted outside girl and initially withdrawn cursed boy fall in love

Girl find out about curse and accepts boy

Boy with miserable life becomes softer and happier

Akito disapproves

Deconstruction of tropes

Early on in the story, Kanatori is established as a trope that kyoru then spends the entire story deconstructing.

“love is like spring”

Kanatori : love is often compared to a blooming spring season, which Fruits Basket uses explicitly as a metaphor for Hatori’s love. Hatori calls Hana his spring, and their relationship follows a clear direction from meeting in winter, blossoming in spring, and wilting in winter. Hatori’s heart is reflected in this arc as he goes from having an untouched heart, to loving passionately, to breaking his heart and leaving it in seemingly eternal winter. Kana and Hatori’s relationship is ephemeral like the seasons, their happiness only lasting two months and knowing each other for one year. Their love follows the more common relationship trope of having the life-changing experience of falling in love dramatically.

Kyoru: In contrast, Kyo and Tohru’s relationship is a slow burn with no discernible beginning (or end). The episode begins with kyoru during autumn, followed by a more recent scene at the beach during the summer. Kyo wonders when his feelings started because he can’t place a time. By the time that he realizes that he loves Tohru, it feels as if he has always loved her from the start. Their love is all-encompassing over all seasons of the year, because it’s their daily happiness from being with each other that gradually and unknowingly turns to love. It re-enforces the idea that the most important thing that Tohru did is to just stay and live life together with Kyo. This also leads to deconstruction of the next trope...

“love heals all” 

Kanatori: Once again Hatori and Kana’s relationship serves as a foil to Kyoru. Kana shows how self-defeating and tragic love can be if the relationship is based on healing and fixing each other. Hatori lived an apathetic existence of being duty-bound to his curse. Kana "healed” Hatori with love, accepting his curse and filling him with hope of happiness that he once thought impossible. Hatori wept, feeling like he’s “forgiven and saved for the first time in his life”. It is Akito who reminds them that Kana’s love isn’t going to fix Hatori’s problems, ruining their relationship by pointing out its flawed beliefs. Akito knows that both are looking for salvation from the curse in their love, so he easily ruins their relationship by pointing out how Kana is unable to save Hatori, screaming at her “you’re not wanted / you can’t even break the curse!” Akito then goes further and scars Hatori, which is the piece that truly broke Kana and her love with Hatori irreparably. Kana believed her love is meant heal Hatori and protect him, but instead permanently hurt him. Due to the nature of their love, Kana was driven into an unforgivable position that she failed their duty to protect her loved one from harm. Hatori’s eye is not going to heal back with any amount of love, and so Hana spirals into despair until her memory is wiped. Her final words to Hatori is the core of their tragedy: “I’m sorry I failed to protect you.” Their story highlights the unrealistic ideals of healing love as a fragile relationship foundation. It is romantic and beautiful, but easily destroyed through the uncontrollable circumstances of life. If the purpose of a relationship is protecting and healing each other, it is so very easy to fail.

Kyoru: Kyo specifically says that Tohru didn’t heal him and cure all his problems - the most important thing she did was to stay by his side everyday, sharing life side by side. There’s no misplace romanticism on magically fixing your partner’s problems or taking away their pain. They experienced and shared small everyday joys. Kyoru is sweet and perfect because their love is born from their tiny daily gestures of love and happiness instead of grand dramatic events. Thanks to her parents’ relationship with each other and Tohru’s relationship with her mom, Tohru understands how central sharing lives together is to personal relationships, and it’s why she offered it to Kyo during the True Form arc. On the other hand, while Kyo doesn’t expect Tohru to heal or protect him, demands these unrealistic expectations from himself to consider himself “worthy” of being with her. Kyo is driven by the same romantic notions of protecting that Kana was for the majority of the story. His misguided self-expectation becomes the primary obstacle to their relationship.

perfect protagonist

Akito’s criticism of Tohru - that “she’s too perfect” - is partially a stand-in for the audience criticisms. Tohru is considered a boring, flawless, doormat. But that too is being slowly deconstructed... Tohru’s quirks with her mom’s photo and her dedication towards her mom’s memory are being revealed as grief coping mechanisms. In fact, many of her personality traits are revealed to be coping mechanisms for past personal tragedies.

Other points:

Tohru was so happy for Kyo and he didn’t correct her...he didn’t want to worry or trouble her...and he assuaged her worries for him at the end of the day in the same way.

the “hentai” looking ropes: represents the bonds that ties the zodiac spirits together. They look purpled and corrupted now, like how the zodiac bonds became a curse and burden over time.

the first thing Kyo thought when he was called to see Akito was that Tohru was going to be left alone. 

When she’s finally left alone, Tohru goes to the beach and makes sandcastles...  compare this to New Year’s Eve, when Tohru was left alone at the start of the night, she sat with her mom’s photo and cried.

Manga spoilers under cut:

Other bits about the episode:

“I don’t want to take anything away from her anymore”: Kyo feeling at fault for his mother’s suicide paralleling with his guilt of feeling responsible for Kyoko’s death. He’s been internally fighting the accusations that he’s the one reason for his mother’s death most of his life. Then Kyoko’s death happens and crushes him so immensely that, to go on living, he had to redirect his self-hatred into a singular goal of hating and defeating Yuki. He feels responsible for taking away Tohru’s most important person, her mother, which inadvertently leads to her involvement in the Sohma family. Shigure was really the one responsible for Tohru’s involvement, but Kyo only knows of his own involvement. From his POV, he’s unworthy of being with Tohru since he ruined her life and took away her mom. He has personally experienced the loss of his mom and wishes for many many reasons that she had not died, further intensifying the guilt he feels over Tohru’s mom. Knowing how much Tohru loves and respects her mom, if Kyoko said that she won’t forgive Kyo...no wonder he feels like he doesn’t deserve to be with Tohru. 

Akito is calling Tohru a monster because she accepts and has a close relationship with Kyo. Anyone who accepts Kyo is both treated as a saint for tolerating a monster and a monster for accepting a monster - he has already experienced this with his mother and with Kazuma. His mom was the most affected, being constantly blamed and derided for bringing a monster into existence until she committed suicide. He was raised to believe that anyone would be worse off by having a relationship with him because he is a monster, not to mention be gossiped about maliciously by others. Tohru being with him would cause others to think of her badly, for others to call her a monster...and he loves her too much to bring her down with him.

Resolution to “love heals all” trope for Kyoru:

Tohru’s way of loving Kyo, living life candidly with him, was exactly what Kyo needed (and vice versa, of course). We’ve seen Kyo reject other unhealthy forms of love: He didn’t want Kagura’s love borne of pity, and he found his mom’s blind love suffocating for both of them.

Kyo’s final character development and resolution hinges on coming to terms with a more mature understanding of how to love someone. Kyo sees himself unworthy of Tohru’s love because he fails at protecting her: he wasn’t able to find little lost Tohru, he wasn’t able to save Kyoko from the car crash, and he wasn’t there to save Tohru from a landslide. These are circumstances beyond his control, just like how Akito injuring Hatori’s eye was beyond Kana’s control. We first hear about his disappointment at failing to protect Tohru after Akito’s confrontation with Tohru at the beach house. After Akito leaves, we see that Kyo was held back from joining the confrontation by Haru, and he calls himself incompetent for being unable to protect Tohru from Akito. LIke Kana, Kyo imprisons himself into the unforgivable position that he has a duty to protect his loved one, and yet circumstances both within and without his control still occurs and hurts Tohru. He feels guiltiest for not doing more to save Kyoko, thereby feeling like he personally caused Tohru to lose her mom. Unless Kyoko comes back from the dead, Kyo has trapped himself into never being worthy of Tohru.

Fortunately for Kyo, Yuki is having none of his shit. Yuki is the one who finally literally punches through Kyo’s romantic idealism and makes Kyo realize how immature his idea of love is. Kyo wants to be Tohru’s prince in shining armor but is utterly bested by Yuki when it comes to grand heroics. Yuki is the prince archetype who finds little lost Tohru, saves Tohru from living in a tent, retrieves her belongings from a landslide, and shows up at her relatives’ to whisk her home. In Kyo’s mind, this makes Yuki more suitable and worthy of Tohru, and Yuki is the one who gets fed up with Kyo’s self-deprecating and unrealistic mindset. “Who do you think you are, a superhero? Would you only be satisfied if you could save somebody from a car crash, or save someone from a landslide? You’ve been protecting her, haven’t you? You’ve been with her daily, making her happy, isn’t that protecting her? Do you think it were the same if I were with her?” Kyo had to learn that being with someone and making them happy every day is far more significant and precious than heroics. Seemingly insignificant actions are in fact *special* things that only he can do for Tohru. Takaya-sensei’s message on healthy love is so consistently woven throughout Fruits Basket.